#it was more of a nightmare
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I had a fever dream that was terrible.
Scene: Aziraphale sits in a chair within a dimly lit room, bathed in a solitary holy light. He gazes intently into the darkness, unable to discern the person before him, who speaks first.
[Female Voice] Aziraphale, Principality Guardian of the Eastern Gate, come before the Almighty and demand that I halt the Second Coming and Armageddon. You claim you're willing to do anything to make it happen.
//Aziraphale appears determined and resolute.//
[Aziraphale] Indeed, humanity has made significant strides, yet they still have much to learn. They continue to evolve.
[Female Voice] Why are you so protective? Why would you risk everything to oppose eternity?
[Aziraphale] As you've mentioned, I am the Principality Guardian of the Eastern Gate. By definition, my very existence revolves around guidance and protection. If you didn't desire me to safeguard them, you shouldn't have sent me to Earth for that very purpose.
//The Female Voice chuckles.//
[Female Voice] You're quite right. However, in hindsight, I should not have crafted the Divine Plan before creating you Angels. Are you genuinely prepared to give anything without hesitation?
[Aziraphale] Yes, I am ready.
//The Female Voice loses her mirth.//
[Female Voice] Then this is my request: the love you hold for the Demon Crowley, you will bestow that love upon me. And before you respond, understand that granting me this love entails erasing all memories of him. Your recollections will be entirely rewritten. You shall never have known him, regardless of the passage of time or how well you come to know him again; you will never remember him, and your love for him will vanish.
//The Female Voice pauses for a moment.//
[Female Voice] Are you willing to grant me this without hesitation?
//Aziraphale speaks without hesitation, yet sadness fills his eyes.//
[Aziraphale] Yes, to save humanity, the Earth, time, and the universe, I will surrender my love for Crowley to you.
//The Female Voice sighs, seemingly hoping for hesitation from the angel.//
[Female Voice] With this offering, I shall cease Armageddon and halt the Second Coming. I thank you for this precious gift. Aziraphale, Principality Guardian of the Eastern Gate, I grant you mercy. You may now return to your peaceful life in the bookshop. I shall oversee heaven in your stead.
Scene transitions: A blinding light surrounds Aziraphale, and he finds himself back on Earth, standing in front of his bookshop. He enters it happily. Off-screen, the sound of books falling can be heard, and the camera turns to reveal Crowley and Muriel. Crowley is holding a stack of books for Muriel, who is on a ladder.
[Crowley] Angel?
//Crowley approaches Aziraphale with uncertainty.//
[Crowley] Aziraphale, what brings you here?
//Aziraphale smiles gently at him.//
[Aziraphale] What do you mean? This is my bookshop. The question, my dear friend, is: Who are you?
#good omens#crowley#aziraphale#the Almighty#i hate fever dreams#it was more of a nightmare#yes i know what this sounds like#i have read tsubasa [at least the first 25 chapters#i start crying after that and cant read anymore
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I love yugioh so much it appears in my dream a lot. Very often I just dream about dueling, and sometimes of support for decks I like
#the other day i dreamt about topologic zeroboros and messing up my plays and banishing everything#it was more of a nightmare#i also dreamt about: a “white wing” archetype. a pendulum utopia card. two old meklord cards that were called 'mekklord' that were bad#i also often just dream of my cards getting destroyed like maybe there is something deeply wrong with me#<- loving yugioh a normal amount#but to me idk i wouldnt consider it bad since its my special interest etc. so its fairly normal i think#random ramble
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don’t owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They’re always passing urges, but it’s disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain’s spent so long thinking only about suicide that it’s forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I’m trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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will never understand the misogynistic inclination to pigeonhole every female character into the "exasperated sensible mom friend" role as if there's anything better than a woman so devoid of maternal instincts that she makes wire mother look soft. woman who rolls over and walks out onto the balcony to smoke a post-coital cigarette alone and leaves without a note or any kind of acknowledgement after sleeping with you because she can't stand the vulnerability of sleeping next to someone, or waking up beside them the following morning. woman whose idea of relaxing is abusing substances alone in a dark corner somewhere, and snarling and snapping at anyone who approaches her, regardless of intent. woman so emotionally unavailable she fails or refuses to notice that her lame ass partner is trying to push the divorce papers until they've taken the kids and left a heartfelt but scathing note pinned to the fridge. woman with more vices than genuine friends. woman whose expression stays blank and arms remain limply at her sides when you wrap her up in yours for a hug. woman without a gentle touch in her body, with nothing but rough edges and sharp angles.
#🐉#obligatory 'yeah i realise these traits are more appealing in fictional characters than in your mother' disclaimer#but if male characters can embody this archetype and be considered attractive for it#i dont see why we cant have some toxic destructive nightmare women#woman who is your shitty dad but a girl
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The FNAF 4 bullies really were monsters in his eyes..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#micheal afton#evan afton#david afton#fnaf 4 bullies#nightmare foxy#fnaf 4#afton family#the idea that David views Michael and his friends as the nightmares#is an idea I still really like#so I wanted to draw the concept out myself#fnaf 4 after all is about the perspective of a child and how it twists things#I know folks have asked for more comics about the Aftons#so I wanna make good on that so expect more of these 🙏🏾
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everyone out of the way, this is the only thing I'm going to be thinking about from now on.
(okay, there is one more thing)
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#jade is having the time of his life being a nasty little mofo and i love him for it#and gosh...leona and sally being friends is SO cute#sometimes i forget that leona is canonically a feminist#sally poisons a man and he's like 'you go girl'#they have so much in common though!#they both have eye scars and no ears on the sides of their heads!#no but they're adorable and i love it#and i suppose i have to reluctantly admit that i understand why lilia could not be in this event#he would just be stuffing frogs into his mouth left and right without even blinking#every time we get a moment of culture-clash he would just be there like 'mm-hm. yes. i do not see the problem.'#man. i do so adore any event that forces the boys to Work Together#their one weakness...not being petty dipshits who get into slapfights at the drop of a hat#absolutely nothing got done that first day and the mayor set off the emergency alarm because he was so done with them#this is perfection#anyway brb gotta go do some missions for the other jack's birthday#see you next week for more of scully becoming increasingly disillusioned with all these fake halloween fans
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heyyyy guess who got emotional over sonic adventure 2 againnn :] (don't tag as ship, thanks!)
#love love love loveeee themmbb#i need to draw them more huehueueueueu#sonic the hedgehog#shadow the hedgehog#sonic fanart#sonic#sth#art#digital art#also i made this entirely in csp!#im evolving#this required much more brain power than it would if i just used ps tho fvegbfgf#theres a bunch of really annoying things in csp that i cant get rid of ughhhh#and the correction layers are. a NIGHTMARE#unusable efdsedfsefdfgrfv#sonic adventure 2#sa2
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New Nightmares ⚠️
#gravity falls#billford#stan pines#stanley pines#ford pines#stanford pines#bill cipher#Ford has nightmares of Bill#and for the most part he has learned (after 30 years) which ones are Actually Bill and which ones are not.#But I think after weirdmageddon and Bill's defeat ... Once he's chill and calm... He has some more pleasant dreams of bill#Which is scary#because it's closer to what he felt (warm and fuzzy) when they were actively interacting... 😔
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this is why Error doesn’t work for Nightmare.
(idea credit to @lover-of-skellies 💛)
#mitsusart#my comics#undertale au#undertale#sans undertale#au undertale#sans#sans au#error sans#killer sans#horror sans#dust sans#murder sans#nightmare sans#cross sans#dusttale#dreamtale#utmv#undertale multiverse#undertale fandom#au sans#xtale#soemthing new au#horrortale#underverse#undertale au fanart#digital art#I NEED ME MORE MISCHIEVOUS NIGHTMARE#HE’S A GREMLIN TOO. JUST A POSH ONE#once again putting error in turmoil
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low lays the devil in me
*if you tag as ship it's an insta-block. not what this is. thanks
#lab creations#gravity falls#stanford pines#bill cipher#based on the nightmare by henry fuseli obviously#I finished this one a little while ago now and hesitated on posting it for reasons you can probably guesstimate#was having a lot of sleep problems at the time#the hand replacing the horse's head was inspired by dunmeshi though#hopefully I don't alienate anybody with this one but I like my more vulnerable work and hiding it forever seems like a waste
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i put all the headshots together for convenience uwu
#utmv#undertale fandom#undertale au#swap sans#ink sans#dream sans#error sans#horror sans#swapdream#ccino sans#nightmare sans#killer sans#lust sans#cross sans#my art#i'm not tagging more i can't be bothered lol
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The bad sanses and (some of) their first times seeing the surface! ^^
(I kind I’d headcanon that not only has Killer (as sans) been to the surface quite a few times, but he’s also been traveling with Nightmare for quite a while haha. Nightmare… well, he always was able to see the sky so yeah haha)
#darkzyx#undertale au#undertale fandom#utmv#killer sans#utmv doodle#dust sans#horror sans#corrupted nightmare sans#nighmare sans#utmv bad sanses#bad sanses#nightmare gang#anyways I love them so much#think Killer was apathetic when he saw the sky for the first time in forever#and Nightmare took notice of it and asked him why#something about it being hard to get excited over something you had that was constantly ripped away from you#and Nightmare would listen to him and just tell him that there isn’t anyone in the multiverse#that would dare to take something from him or his subordinates#not on his watch#think Killer would start to feel a bit more alive/less apathetic after that#just a little
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frankly, the people whose kneejerk reaction to bisan asking for a global strike form the 21st-28th is to say that it takes years to organize a general strike are really unhelpful! no one is saying otherwise, but palestine will be a smoking crater if we all wait for years to do anything - bisan is asking us to do something now. Like are we only supposed to do something if we can do it perfectly??? At some point it’s a valid critique about the work that goes into social movement, and at another point I feel like some people are just trying to absolve themselves from not putting any effort into observing a week of economic inaction.
like idk! I get it, okay! People have bills to pay that don’t magically go away for a strike, we don’t have nearly enough social infrastructure in place to support people to fully stop going to work for a week. But fuck, dude! Stop immediately responding in such a defeatist way! Cut out unnecessary purchases! Try to shop local! Put more effort into promoting Palestinian voices online! Attend a protest, call a local rep, do something!
#like am I going insane#why did I see a post with thousands of notes on it talking about how it doesn’t make sense to be asking for this sort of action#it doesn’t make SENSE?#like god! I hope you’re taking other more sensible courses of action then!#fucks sake man#bisan is living through a waking nightmare and some of you are so pedantic and miserly#palestine#free Palestine
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had the weirdest dream that i was on facetime my ex for the first time in like months and he was showing me like his new gf but she looked exactly like me and i just hung up and then i literally i woke up and cringed so damn hard just yuck😦
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Death looms over Vanny's shoulder in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#fnaf vanessa#fnaf vanny#nightmare marionette#security breach#fnaf help wanted#horror art#nightmarionne#I like the idea nightmarionne is like a symbol of death#seeing their appearances in the games are pretty scattered#and their images shows up around tragedy#they are more of a watcher of it a witness#so I wanted to show this idea off with Vanessa#Vanessa being awoken from her daze#trying to understand what’s going on#only for it to slowly process the damage she has caused#frozen in fear over her own mind#a silent watcher looms over her shoulder#I love drawing Vanessa’s story out#I don’t think there’s been enough are depicting the things she’s probably gone thru
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buckle up lads we're going BACK INTO THE BOOK
#art#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland spoilers#lost in the book with nightmare before christmas#hajimari no halloween#(the origin of halloween huh) (oooh)#why yes i did wake up way too early to watch the stream and will have no memory of drawing this later#anyway THE MAGIC BOOK IS BACK TO EAT US ONCE AGAIN!!!!#this does make things make a lot more sense if it doesn't have to. y'know. actually take place in the established world#like how jack and sally are apparently just gonna be THERE as themselves WHY NOT#i'm certainly not complaining mind you#scully looks like he's gonna be super adorable and i love him already#spooky scary skeleman who just goes :O a lot and is excited for halloween#he seems like he might actually be more of a fusion of jack and sally? or maybe i'm just reading too much into it#still getting jazzy vibes off of him though. is not scully j graves an incredible jazz musician name.#does this open up the possibility that the last time we went into the book there was a sexy anime boy stitch just offscreen the whole time#...maybe some things are best left uncontemplated#god everyone in this event looks fantastic i'm so glad i saved up some keys after all#a little sad that there's no lilia but you know what the fact that a halloweentown malleus exists is still pretty dang good#and sebek's hat is SO tall#the biggest hat for the loudest boy#i hope oogie is here too i need him and jamil to meet#i need jamil to be faced with a guy who's just a bunch of bugs standing on each other's shoulders in a trenchcoat#i am not coherent right now i just needed to get this out before i go pass out again
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