#it was literally only a dollar on amazon which is why i got it

[emiliosandozsequence]

my mother couldn't find my copy so i got myself a copy of one of my childhood fav fantasy novels

[classicanalyzer]

Fallout Series Thoughts and Reflection

"Everyone wants to save the world. They just...disagree on how." Maximus

It's one day until one month since this amazing series was released and I have a lot to talk about Fallout!

A Vault Dweller (Lucy MacLean), a Brotherhood Squire (Maximus), a Ghoul Bounty Hunter (Once a human called Cooper Howard)...and a dog (Dogmeat) travel the Wasteland in pursuit of their goals. In doing so, all four will change the Wasteland for better or worse, and discover more sinister secrets. And as Siggi Wilzig, an Enclave defector, asks Lucy in their first encounter,

"Question is will you still want the same things......when you have become a different animal altogether." Siggi Wilzig

The opening (The End) was perfect. The tension reminds me a lot of TLOU’s opening. We look into the eternal 50s culture United States in the 2070s. Cooper's reaction to the first bomb dropping is just acting perfectly. He at first tries to assure his daughter, Janey, that it's just a fire...only to see the smoke turn into a mushroom cloud. His reaction then just turns into one of pure horror that conveys how this is the end of society. That shot of him and Janey looking at the mushroom cloud and the ignorant American families watching TV says everything. As the rich family hides out in their bunker (the father punching his friend which is a foreshadowing moment of humanity's desperation for self-preservation), we see Cooper and Janey ride on their horse as Lose Angelos is bombarded with the title card popping up (Each episode has a unique variation of the title card based on what's going on).

The show captures the dark comedy and the satire of 50s America, Capitalism, and the Cold War. When Wilzig talked about how the cyanide pill (which tasted like bananas too!) was the most humane product Vault-Tec ever made (it really is), that was Fallout humor alright. We even have a pre-war bit where Sebastion Lesie sold his vocal rights to RobCo for their Mr. Handy bots for around $186 (I know it could be 186 thousand but I love the possibility he only got literally 186 dollars). Another is when the "execution" of Lucy by the inhabitants of Vault 4 which was very elaborate to set up death by beheading... turns out out to be death to the surface (as the Overseer is trying horribly to cut off the rope). A funny meta joke is how the teaser joker poked about Amazon Prime being the company with 2-day shipping in the teaser trailer. Then the show was released 2 days earlier than its stated release date (The show came out on April 10th, 6 PM PST when its original release date was April 12th).

"The future, my friend, is products. You're a product. I'm a product. The end of the world is a product." Sebastian Leslie

The attention to detail in this show is also amazing. In the first episode, the radio mentions the President not present at the White House. That follows the lore of the President moving to the Poseidon Oil Rig. I also love how in Episode 2, Maximus mentions Tidus' Power Armor having Tempered Lining and Lucy brought it up too in Episode 5. In Episode 8, The Ghoul mentioned the weakness of the Power Armor suit just below the chestplate. It further explains why Maximus didn't die to the Ghoul since the Ghoul was trying to aim for that but due to that modification, Maximus was able to survive. They also brought back the hacking mini-game when Norman was hacking into the Overseer's computer.

There's also the question of how to rebuild humanity. Each faction (Vault-Tec, NCR, BoS, Enclave) has its own vision for the Wasteland. Maximus perfectly described the setting perfectly well in his quote at the top.

Lucy’s (Positive Karma) naivety and optimism really show her as the heart of our main trio. Even by the end where she gained a lot of cynicism, it’s still her underneath it. I also appreciate her character so much when she doesn’t follow the “character’s bond with another is broken because they lied” trope. I like how the folks of the Wasteland can't stand Vault Dwellers because of their nativity, self-centered attitude, and how it was really for the rich and privileged who could afford to go to a Vault. However, she proves herself to be an earnest character who truly wants to make the Wasteland a better place, and adapts to survive... but doesn't lose sight of who she is unlike the Ghoul. I cannot wait to see how S2 takes her character. Her relationship with Maximus is also pretty sweet as they both help each other out and bring out the best in each other.

"I just doused an innocent man's face with acid, and I've only been up here two weeks. The wasteland sucks." Lucy MacLean

Maximus’ (Neutral Karma) character development was nice to see. He still has a long way to go but he’s starting to understand what being a “hero” is about rather than just having physical power. A hero knows to sacrifice your desires (The Power Armor) to help others (giving back the fusion core). He wants a life beyond the Brotherhood and is clearly disillusioned with the organization. When his friend thought he killed Moldaver and declared him a Knight, his face tells another story of how he felt about this.

The Ghoul (Evil Karma) may have been a cruel bounty hunter who believes in the worst of the Wasteland...but there are moments of his former self still inside. His taking a liking to Wilzig's dog (whom he eventually named Dogmeat) and granting his Ghoul friend Roger a mercy kill reveals there might be hope for him yet. His former self, Cooper Howard. is nothing like his current self. I love how the show made it clear he was once this human who couldn't initially bring himself to kill someone... even if it was for a movie! Even when he tries to initially deny the evils of Vault-Tec and buys into American Cold War propaganda, it's clear he still values his friends (even if they're supposedly "Communists") and eventually starts to really question what the hell is going on.

"I'm not a Communist, Mr. Howard. That's just a dirty word they use to describe people who aren't insane." Lee Moldaver

The reveal that Vault-Tec was responsible for dropping the first bomb (or at the very least planned to do so) was genuinely one of the most shocking bombshell reveals ever. You feel the nervous breakdown of Howard Cooper as he’s trying to process his own wife advocating this insane genocidal plan. I wonder if the shadow figure overseeing the meeting of the corporations is from the Enclave. I also really love the detail that Mr. House is the only one questioning the logistics and the proposal (Daily note that Mr. House is just as bad as everyone in this room, it's just that he sees less value in causing the end of the world). It shows why he decided to go against this insane conspiracy plan as we see the fruits of his preparations in New Vegas. I also love seeing Frederick Sinclair (Also New Vegas), the owner of the Sierra Madre Casino, Leon Von Felden (Fallout 1), the mad scientist behind the FEV and the Mariposa Military base, and Julia Masters, the chief financial officer of REPCONN Aerospace who sold out the company to RobCo.

"It's a fun idea. There's a lot of earning potential with the end of the world. But we're talking about making a significant investment based on a hypothetical. How can you guarantee results?" Robert House

"By dropping the bomb ourselves." Barbara Howard

Moldaver is no saint (she did let raiders massacre Vault 33 and almost killed Lucy, her friend's daughter), and it shows how far the NCR has sunken to achieve its aims. However, a lot of her actions are based on the horrors and crimes against humanity she witnessed. She wanted to rectify them and give the Wasteland hope, no matter the cost. She had seen her failures to stop the old world from being destroyed, and she would not stop until she could make the Wasteland better, even if that meant the NCR not living to see that better world.

Lucy's quest to rescue her father is like a twisted Fallout 3 narrative where the Lone Wanderer's quest was to find their father. But instead of her father being a scientist who wants to further heal the Wasteland, her father is responsible for destroying one of the most developed nations post-war because they weren't Vault-Tec. It's also implied it might've been out of jealousy since the show hints that Moldaver and Rose MacLean were more than just friends.

The collapse of the NCR was something I knew would happen based on the state of it in NV, but the final nail in the coffin being at the hands of Vault-Tec was something I did not see coming. I love that the last action of the NCR Remnant was to restore Shady Sands's power with the cold-fusion reactor. Even when the NCR is gone, whatever arises from the NCR will not only do the job better but now benefit from infinite energy. This is in comparison to the US government whose last action was to nuke the world and for the Enclave, leave the American populace to die.

The West Coast of the Brotherhood took advantage of the NCR's collapse to reestablish itself and with the help of the East Coast's BoS, they're now the largest military presence in California. The final battle between them and the NCR Remnant is a mirror foil to an event mentioned in New Vegas with the Helios Power Plant. We see how Maximus grows disillusioned with how far the organization has fallen and its own Knights not being the heroes he looked up to, even his superior agrees about how the Brotherhood is not what it once was.

Vaults 31-33 may not have an extreme experiment as the other Vaults and in this case, Vault 4, but the experiment is still horrifying. Vault 32-33 are meant to be breeding pools for Vault 31, full of Vault-Tec personnel in cryogenic pods (which I think is how maybe Lee Moldaver survived), to create the "best" Vault-Tec personnel. Vault 4 is a vault where scientists govern the people...which went as well as you might expect (The experiments going berserk and the Vault Dwellers revolting). I also love how the Gulper we saw in Episode 4 is one of Vault 4's experiments (also explaining the human-like finders inside its mouth) and who also ate the Overseer. I wonder what Norman will do given how Bud puts in him a seemingly impossible situation.

Then there's the Enclave and the pre-war Corporations. The Enclave really only shows up for a flashback sequence for Wilzig but, interestingly, the show glosses over them. What interests me the most is that Wilzig knows about the Vaults 31-33 experiment and Lucy's full name. Obviously, the Enclave still has observations of the Vaults, but as I mentioned before, that shadow figure observing the corporate meeting might be them. Speaking of the Corporations, we see the results of unchecked Capitalism with no regulations in this franchise and this show. We see the insane troll logic that these mega corporations will win the "great game of capitalism" by outliving everyone. Mega corporations have no logic other than their insane troll logic that what matters is they survive regardless of who suffers or dies in the name of profits.

"So, the U.S. government has outsourced the survival of the human race to Vault-Tec. Vault-Tec is a private corporation that has a fiduciary responsibility to make money for its investors. And how does it make money? By selling vaults... The cattle ranchers are in charge, Coop." Charlie Whiteknife.

You can tell how much Nolan and his team love Fallout by the work they put into this show. They did such an amazing job that Tim Cain, one of the OG creators of Fallout, praised the hell out of this show for bringing Fallout to life. I cannot wait to see what S2 will bring us.

"War never changes." Barbara Howard and The Ghoul

[lonesomedreamer]

The Rings of Power Liveblog: “Shadow of the Past” (Episode 1)

Two years late, curiosity got the better of me, and I decided I had to see this thing for myself ahead of the second season premiere…spoiler: I didn’t hate it.

I’m not going to gripe about these children looking decidedly human (or at least not Elvish), because I understand the limitations of using, you know—actual human children as actors. But I will question the notion of Elvish children being smug bullies.

But baby Galadriel definitely looks the part.

“It’s not going to float, it’s going to sail.” Not off to a strong start with the dialogue…

Oh, the Elf children are…throwing rocks at her paper boat? All of them? Why?? I know the behavior of Elves in the First and Second Ages tended to be less detached/noble and whatnot, but little Galadriel is literally about to punch this Elf boy…

I have so many questions about this hairstyle choice.

“We have no word for death.” Somehow, I doubt that. This is the Second Age, right? Elves had definitely already experienced death.

Why does this seem like a slightly retooled Minas Tirith design? Is this supposed to be VALINOR??? (Actually, this would be a decent Amber design…)

A very underwhelming depiction of the destruction of the Two Trees…this is what Amazon spent amlost a billion dollars on? I know they can’t accurately depict what happened because, you know, no rights to The Silmarillion, but it still underwhelmed me.

This sequence is just all so obviously CGI. While I’m no fan of the original Jackson films (sorry, I know—boo, hiss), a lot of it looks real.

“See, it’s just like that Game of Thrones spinoff you like, but with terrible CG!”

It would be so helpful if Galadriel’s voiceover told viewers that Orcs were created as a mockery of the Elves, or hinted at why Morgoth created them/why he hated the Elves. Unfortunately, this is what happens when you try to adapt a work to which you don’t have all the rights.

She is very, very pretty.

“What devilry is this?” Is that a word in Middle-earth?

Lots of Galadriel confidently assuming she knows things she can’t possibly know (for the sake of hurrying the story/journey along, I guess)…if only the streaming services didn’t limit themselves to eight or ten episodes and gave their stories room to breathe!

Anyone watching who’s never read The Silmarillion (or even the trilogy): who the fuck is Morgoth? What are the Trees?? What year is it??? What’s going on here??!? Again, the huge problem of adapting a larger story/universe when you only have partial rights…

Insert obligatory video game-esque troll battle that’s also a callback to the Moria scenes of the FOTR film. You can use the bathroom here and miss nothing.

Some proto-Hobbits, because why not? I did like the “hidden village” reveal thing, though!

I kind of love them?

There’s a lot to be said for the charm and appeal of the Shire from an audience perspective, the comfort of it (which is why the Scourging of the Shire is so thematically important and excising it was an irredeemable sin…but I digress), so I actually 100% understand why they included these guys. TTT is by far the bleakest book of the trilogy, my least-favorite, and the lack of the Shire is a huge reason why.

23 years later and I’m still not over the utter miscasting of Hugo Weaving. Visually, this Elrond isn’t really better. Why is Elrond so damn hard to get right??? And his hair is described as black!

The best costumes a billion-dollar budget could buy?

“Elf-lords only.” Such a dignified, Elvish thing to say…

Yes, Elves could be haughty and unkind; just ask Bilbo! But Elrond is an Elf-lord. Hmm.

Also…Elrond and Galadriel appear to be approximately the same age. It doesn’t matter that Galadriel is actually much older (and his eventual mother-in-law!), because TV is such a visual medium.

This is actually a larger overall problem. Because most of The Lord of the Rings takes place over the course of one year, an adaptation doesn’t need to hold the audience’s hand regarding the passage of time. But in this case, as Galadriel’s narration too-briefly mentions, events are taking place across hundreds and even thousands of years. Elves like Galadriel are significantly older than others, like Elrond, but unless you tell the audience that, they won’t know, and the story loses something as a result.

Even though this design is clearly based on Rivendell in the Jackson films, it is quite lovely.

Pretty!!!

How do Galadriel and Elrond know each other? They seem close. Inquiring minds want to know!

The content and context of this scene is meaningless, but I don’t care—it’s just so pretty!

Even though I know they get worse, for now I don’t really mind the proto-Hobbits. They’re obviously not Tolkien, but they’re an homage, and they’re fun/visually appealing.

The casting director gets a D+ for the male Elves. (Then again, they were poorly-cast in the Jackson films too.)

“And as a reward, you will all be exiled!” lmfao. Being shipped off to Valinor doesn’t seem like much of a punishment, though. Where do I volunteer?

Still, it makes sense that Galadriel, who (correctly!) believes Sauron to still be alive and a threat and who wishes to avenge her brother, would be upset about this. They’ve changed her backstory/motivations—which I hate—but her attitude does track with those changes.

Nuns??

This set design is magical, no notes.

Luthien??

She really is perfectly cast.

Elrond, one of the wisest and kindest of all the Elves, is being written as some smug royal enforcer. Just like the Jackson films wrote him as a grumpy, condescending overprotective dad. Sigh.

“[Evil] waits. And at the moment of our complacency, it blinds us.” I mean…yeah, that’s basically how it goes down in Middle-earth. Repeatedly.

Not Elrond mansplaining about Valinor to someone who was literally born there…

None of these people look like Elves.

“I’m going with you!” But why?!? This lady is a healer with a youngish son still dependent on her at home!!!

I really hate them saying “mum” instead of “ma” or “mama” or something similar. (I’d also hate it if they were saying “mom,” to be clear. It’s just so modern-sounding and breaks any immersion they’ve built so far.)

Wow, the hilt of a broken sword with Sauron’s symbol on it… Generic “halfling” characters I can enjoy as a homage. This is lazy writing. And see? I knew her son needed adult supervision. (It’s also a ripoff of Pippin and the Palantir.)

(muttering) None of these people look—oh, forget it.

Elves don’t age as Men do (or age extremely slowly/imperceptibly), so what’s going on with this dude?

Gorgeous, all.

Ents???

Galadriel jumping off of the ship and just…floating there in the middle of the sea is as silly as the naysayers said it would be. However, I thought the scene leading up to it was fairly well-executed, though I wish they’d done a better job animating the rain of silver glass that leads into Valinor…that image has always resonated with me.

The Good:

Many absolutely stunning visuals thanks to great set design (with Valinor of all places somehow being the least-impressive!) and, apart from some cheap/underwhelming looks, costume design that varies from good to great

A solid score that seems to be trying a little bit too hard to mimic Howard Shore’s from the films

Morfydd Clark, in her entirety; the writing for Galadriel might be awful in upcoming episodes, but her casting was inspired

I find the Harfoots whimsically charming, at least so far, especially Nori.

The use of Tolkienesque maps to indicate location changes

An attempt was clearly made, in this episode if nowhere else, to pay homage to the source material, even the source material they don’t have the rights to use outright (the Two Trees, Morgoth, perhaps Luthien)…it’s better than nothing.

The Bad

Every single male Elf is miscast; yes, I said every single one, from Galadriel’s brother to Elrond to the OC Arondir. Gil-galad and Celebrimbor look like they’re in their late 40s/50s, at best, and idk…there’s nothing “Elvish” or “ageless” about any of the male actors playing Elves. (Full disclosure: I don’t remember being impressed by the male Elves in the Jackson films, either.) I also saw someone say that Gil-galad looks like Liam Neeson in a mullet, and now I can’t unsee that.

Some really clunky dialogue

Lack of adequate backstory/exposition…but exposition in an adaptation like this is hard, because most of it is contained in The Silmarillion, for which they don’t own the rights.

Building on that theme, I appreciate the idea of “showing not telling,” however…did they ever tell us Galadriel’s brother name (Finrod)? Or that “the king” is Gil-galad? Or even suggest that there are a variety of different Elves in Middle-earth? A lot of people know these things, because we know Tolkien. But I’ve got to assume that a lot of others don’t. Heck, it took them until almost the end of the episode to name one of their OCs (Bronwyn).

Some worthless scenes, like Galadriel’s company fighting the “ice troll” in the mountains. Actually, the entire sequence in the mountain lair was badly-written.

I don’t care about the “forbidden romance” subplot between the OCs Arondir and Bronwyn…if they’d spent longer than a few minutes in the first episode establishing their relationship/characters, maybe I’d be more invested. (See my earlier complaint about unnecessarily short seasons—some stories need room to grow!)

Even though my criticism outweighs my praise, even though I’m a self-identified Tolkien purist, I thought this was…fine. It’s an absolute feast for the eyes, truly gorgeous to watch (even with all those woefully miscast male Elves)—visually, apart from a few moments of obvious CGI, it’s what I would expect/want from a Tolkien adaptation! My expectations aren’t high for the rest of the series. There are upcoming plot points that I know will disappoint, infuriate, and disgust me. But considering that I went into this episode expecting to loathe it, I was pleasantly surprised.

Besides, I’m going to keep watching no matter what to see more of Nori and Morfydd’s face. This also makes me want to finish The Silmarillion, which I have been starting and then “saving for later” since I was a small child.

[ivycrowned]

SO! ‘If you can’t afford to buy it the author wouldn’t have gotten the money for the book anyway’ is technically true, sure.  however, pirating their book can still seriously harm their career!

For example, if you are reading the pirated books on a kindle, this will then cause amazon to ping that the version of the book you’re reading is not from their store! If they’re an author utilizing kindle unlimited, this can get their novel pulled from the amazon store and cause the author themselves to have to pay a fine! Because in order to be a kindle unlimited author you have to be exclusive to amazon. there are other issues of this nature -- pirated copies can tank an authors numbers, which can hurt their chances of getting contracts, etc.

so if you CAN’T AFFORD IT. GO. TO. THE. LIBRARY.

Book piracy in concert with already pathetic pay rates in the publishing industry is the number 1 reason why I will literally never publish anything. It is not worth it.

Books cost thousands of dollars to publish! If you’re paying for things like an editor, an isbn, a cover, etc. I believe you also need to pay to copyright it. So. Again.

And that’s just indie publishing! WHICH YOU SHOULD NOT BE STEALING FROM! Indie writers are the mom-and-pop stores of the publishing world! Not walmart! Books in general (outside textbooks) fall under this! 

Do you know how much money the traditionally published number 1 NYT bestseller that got a movie deal, Iron Widow made the author? Something like 6k. Total. And before you go ‘oh wow, lotta money!’ That is half as much as someone who makes minimum wage will make in a year! Less than, actually! Books take at least that long to write!

DO NOT. PIRATE. BOOKS. YOU WILL FUCK OVER THE WRITERS.

The only exception here is, again, text books.

Do you think harper collins was on strike for months because they were getting enough money to live on?

[and-i-will-stab-10000-times]

Cross-Stitch Kit Review (Pusheen Mini Kit)

Alright, so I didn't plan on doing this until I actually paid far too much money for a kit that is..... bad.

Alright this is about the Pusheen(tm) cross-stitch kit that is made by running press and the Hachette Book Group and can be found in all manner of stores like Barnes & Nobel, Amazon, Target, etc.

Here is what it looks like, it is $9.95 usd where I got it at Barnes and Nobel, around 10$ online and in other stores from what I could tell by googling.

My final rating for this kit is 1/10. Do not waste your money. And I would assume to not waste your money on *any* of their products of a similar "mini cross stitch kit" set. No matter the ip. Maybe the bigger kits are fine but these mini ones are garbage.

Deeper explanation for why this kit is terrible is under the cut.

Okay, so the kit contains 3 pieces of 4"x4" Aida cloth, 2 needles, 1 3" hoop, and the instruction booklet.

The Aida cloth is fine, but it does not specify the count that the cloth IS, but it looks like 14 or 18 count Aida. It is.... fine. It's a little stiff but all new Aida is. It claims to be cotton, but I don't know.

It's only the only decent quality thing in the whole kit and for 10 dollars I could buy *sheets* of Aida cloth.

The hoop is an embarrassment. Decent embriodery hoops have a front and back parts of the inner hop to show which side should be pushed through, usually indicated by a lip around one side. The inner and outer hoops are completely smooth. That lack of lip not only does not dictate the indicated front or back, but it also means that the Aida cloth slides around and has nothing harsh to actually grasp onto or keep it in one place. The lack of ridge or locking divot or anything means that the inner hoop, even with it tightened, can be easily pushed out from the outer hoop.

If I actually tried stitching on this, I have a feeling it would slide out or I'd end up adjusting it a million times because the aida would become stretched or loose in the hoop.

The needles they gave are... simply not cross stitch needles. They are regular... sewing needles.

Cross stitch needles are, largely, blunt tipped. And they have a large, long eye in order to make the thicker embroidery floss easier to put through.

The ones in this kit are not only very sharp, (and might I add the cross stitch needles only tend to be sharp if there's going to be a lot of half and quarter stitches which this kit has 0 of) but they have the very tiny eyes that are typically used for regular thread for regular sewing.

The thread given (4 skeins of floss) are actually pretty good in quality. It's no DMC thread, but it's a lot better than most kits. The colors are good (even if they aren't numbered or labeled in any meaningful way in correspondence with each other or the patterns on the kit) and it doesn't knot and fray and snap nearly as bad as most kits.

The largest, most massive disappointment that instantly knocked it all the way down to a 1/10 before i even saw the materials was the patterns and instructions themselves.

The instructions are fine, detailed in words with zero pictures about what to be expecting. I don't personally need a picture instruction but I know a lot of people need a frame of visual reference. If you don't know anything about it, it's not a bad way to have the motions explained.

They tell you how to thread a needle and start stitching, but there are 0 instructions for now to *finish* your stitch. They don't tell you anything, not to run the needle through the back, not how to tuck the tail, nothing. Fuck you, you're on your own.

And the patterns.

Oh my god the patterns fucking suck.

So. You got the pattern name (Literally Pattern 1, Pattern 2, and Pattern 3) and the thread colors (Color 1, 2, 3, and 4) and 2 of the colors are very similar on the page, so if you mess it up, get fucked there's no actual indicator of the color on the skein or the pattern. Oh, and there's no color blind friendly symbols to go over either. just colored Xs on a grid.

And that grid has no numbers, no segmentation, no counting, no indicated middle, no ruler grid line, nothing.

Literally.... pusheen.... pixel art.

That's what you paid 10 whole dollars for. PUSHEEN PIXEL ART!

I would show you pictures of the """"patterns"""" but I am sure they'd sue me for it! It's literally pusheen pixel art! You spend ten dollars for 4 skeins of decent thread, 3 4"x4" squares of Aida cloth, a DISPLAY HOOP, 2 SEWING NEEDLES, and some PUSHEEN PIXEL ART!

Do not buy this kit or any of the running press mini cross stitch kits if their quality is ANYTHING like this.

Ages 7 and up my ass.

[cleoselene]

I might have gone a little nuts at Amazon this month but THAT'S OKAY, IT'S MY BIRTHDAY ON THE 14TH, THESE ARE TREATS FOR ME.

Actually it's mostly stuff for the house. I'm redecorating my living room and got some stuff we just NEED for that purpose and for general house use. Like we've never had many cups so I ordered a bunch of decent sized plastic cups. I got a stepladder to help with redecorating, and some more hanger hooks. I got 12x12 frames to put up record inserts/sleeves that are artistically appealing. Going to put a section of the wall devoted to family and dog pics, the rest is records. Aside from my Rothko and my framed Leighton Meester + Check in the Dark Poster. but I probably pulled 45 framed pics off the all (I told you I went maximalist XD)

also ordered a couple of surge protectors and some new fairy lights for the living room. For the longest time we lived on fairy light only illumination and it was pleasant, but our light set died. I got 66 feet and it can change color by remote. Hopefully it's enough, but it was only like 7 dollars so if I need to order another 66 feet that's no big.

and really, THIS one is happy birthday to me: I ordered the special limited edition clear version of VNV Nation's Empires. I still need Automatic, Noire, and Transnational on vinyl to round out all their available albums, and I *do* want them all but most of them are shipping from Europe which is EXPENSIVE. This one is from the UK but for some reason only charging 7 pounds for shipping, so it'll probably take 10000 years lol. Or maybe it's just their version of media mail and that's why it's so cheap? Media mail is dope man, as a vinyl collector I double plus love it.

I think the roommates are probably getting me COWBOY CARTER on vinyl for my birthday >_> I strongly hinted to them that the blue vinyl would be a GR8 birthday gift hahah

also my mom owes me some money so I am not BROKE broke. If they don't get it for me I can afford to order it. And I already paid for TTPD (The Black Dog version) on vinyl so that's covered. I wanna get it on CD too, and probably the same for TTPD so I can listen to them in my car. It's been my tradition since I became a fan of Taylor's to buy the CD for my car but that was before I became a vinyl collector (literally my first ever vinyl was a signed copy of Midnights that a friend sweetly bought for me, thus the addiction started) so I'm not sure. I don't like buying things twice. We'll see how much I love TTPD? I think COWBOY CARTER is worth buying twice, I love it that much. TTPD might make me feel the same way, but either way, i wouldn't get the same version? Like I got Black Dog for Vinyl, I would get one of the other variants for CD. Maybe I'll wait to see which of the songs I like best and order accordingly.

also, Beth Gibbons' first solo album in May T___T she is probably my favorite living female vocalist (no one can touch the late great Whitney). She's been working on this album more than a decade I know it's going to be SO good

[izzypoopypoo]

Ecuador

ECUADORRRR ONE OF MY FAVOURITE COUNTRIES!!!!! I'M SO FLIPPING EXCITED LET'S GO LET'S GO LET'S GO!!!!!

Day One

Finally arrived. Starting in my wintery hometown of Coon Rapids, Minnesota, I closed my eyes and crawled until my ice-cold heart felt supple warmth. That's how I landed myself in Ecuador, located smack-dab on the equator in South America.

I felt my lobo powers brewing stronger in me than ever before, likely due to Ecuador's closeness to the moon. No other nation is so near to outer space's embrace. FUCK I love this place.

When I did dare open my eyes for the first time in moons, I was immediately met by a council made up of a jaguar, monkey, iguana, anteater, green anaconda, spectacled bear, and a fuck ton of different birds I don't even wanna get into. Apparently, that wasn't even half of the council, too. Makes sense, seeing as Ecuador has the most biodiversity per square kilometre of any country.

I had wandered into the Oriente, the eastern side encompassing half the country, yet only 5% of its population. Basically, I was in the Amazon Rain Forest.

The spectacled bear shook my hand, a common greeting among Ecuadorians. "The council really fucks with the Ecuadorian government," He informed me, "They were the first to recognize the rights of nature in their constitution."

Then, the council's birds encompassed themselves around me, forming a bed around my weary body. They flapped tirelessly for hours, travelling high elevations, before dropping me off in the country's capital; Quito.

Immediately I sensed the presence of 2.8 million people. Most of which low-key looked like me — Latino. Not like in Minnesota SMH!!! But still, a diverse population consisting of lots of people mixed with white, black, and indigenous.

I also picked up on Spanish everywhere. I'm low-key Mexican, so I can work with this. However, Ecuadorian differs slightly from Mexican Spanish, as many of their words take influence from Quechua, the language of the Incan empire that originally resided here.

My stomach's grumbling managed to overpower the noise of the bustling atmosphere. I was #HUNGIESASF!!! I whipped out my phone and googled "places to eat".

"Somos Ecuador Restaurante"… literally translates to "We Are Ecuador Restaurant." Perfect! Couldn't get more Ecuadorian.

Not ordering empanadas while in Ecuador would be demented. I ordered the empanadas de seco de pollo because I love me some chicken. Also, seco de pollo is such an Ecuadorian staple. It translates to dry chicken, but it's low-key not dry at all.

YUMMY IN MY TUMMYYYY!

OMG… okay, and then I realized I only had my tip money on me from working at the creamery back home. I was like TF do they use here, pesos??? NO! My life is actually amazing because they do use US Dollars here, so I didn't have to dine and dash!

But then, the next dilemma… that was all my money I just spent on empanadas… where am I going to sleep tonight? I buried my face into my paws and was about to start sobbing until some random man sat down with me.

Why he kinda…

"My name is Andrés. 'Tis the ninth most common male name in Ecuador. I'm here to solve all your problems."

"Really? That's my father's name. He's from Mexico. That's kinda freaky though, so I don't want you like that no more."

"Girl what… I didn't want you in the first place like what."

"OMG… this really embarrassing, get the fuck out my face."

"It's okay… anyway, I can just tell by your battered clothes and unruly mane that you don't got no place to stay. You can come back home with me if you want." Andrés offered platonically.

So that's basically how I found myself a bed in the city of Quito. Ecuadorians are so helpful and open. My neighbours in Coon Rapids are Ecuadorian, and they gave my family a bunch of rocks.

You can really see the effects of Spanish colonization come through in the architecture. Pretty though.

Day Two

In 1978, Quito Old Town was the first city to be named a UNESCO World Heritage Site. I'd be crazy not to go!!! It's the best-preserved city from back in the day in all of Latin America, despite the great earthquake of 1917. It was founded in the 16th century on the ruins of an Inca city. Shoutout to the Inca, my neighbours.

The historic district is very walkable, so I crawled everywhere. The stone beneath my paws was hot ASF, but I kinda like that.

There are churches EVERYWHERE. Like 30. And they're still in use! Everywhere you look, there are churches full of people. The churches were built with a combination of Spanish, French, and Italian aspects. These are Catholic churches, the religion brought by the Spanish during colonization.

My favourite church was the Church of the Society of Jesus, known simply as La Compañía among Ecuadorians. My jaw actually dropped when I saw this place.

This is just straight-up the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen in my life. The vibrancy of the gold colour is ASTOUNDING!

Last photo I took before I fell through the time vortex.

[smokeybrand]

For The Drip

You ever notice how properly rich people don't wear designer sh*t? Cats talk about how Zuck has a closet full of $800 tee shirts, and that's true, but he has them made. Mans pays to have his clothes made custom. Some lady in a warehouse somewhere, sewed that shirt, specifically for, and only for, him. Motherf*cker ain't out here spending $400 on a Gucci belt or $1300 on Balenciaga sneakers. Poor people do that stupid sh*t to flex on other poor people. Louis Vuitton literally said that sh*t out loud once. Why the f*ck am i spending hundreds on some true Religion jeans, when i can get a three pack of basketball shorts from amazon for a tenth of that? I'm forty f*cking years old, who am i trying to impress? My chick would rather see me in a nice suit, brand recognition be damned. Tell me you got a Gucci belt on and I'm going to look at you like you're an idiot.

Seriously, that Gucci belt sh*t was killing me. Like, just the belt, bro? You saved up for that? A belt? I think teenagers are doing that nonsense, which is fine. teenagers are both poor and dumb. Let me see a motherf*cker my age talking about look at this Gucci belt i got. I know, for a fact, you ain't got it like you think, my guy. You ain't rich, you got to claim your someone's kid on your taxes. f*cking stupid sh*t. "Oh, but Ryan, what about the Rappers?" What about them? That sh*t is fake. It's a whole ass performance. Every old head rapper is out here dressing like grown men. No one is wearing Timbs on the block anymore, man. Once you get the loot and some maturity, decorum follows. Have you seen Method Man lately? 50 Cent? F*cking Eminem? I'd say Jay-Z but that n*gga's fake ass, Basquiat lite, headband headdress he be wearing, gives me PTSD.

This sh*t isn't a uniquely black problem, but it a problem that seems to originate in my culture. And i get it. We all clout chase because we all start off with next to none of that sh*t. I bought a five hundred dollar pair of Jordans because i wanted them when i was twelve. I did that sh*t for me, though. Don't even wear them. They've been in a box, in the back of my closet, for years. I bought them sh*ts for me, not to flex on some randoms out in the wild who have just as much, or less than i do. I'm not a hype beast and I'm kind of a terrible Hipster at this point. If your whole confidence level revolves around gate keeping and clout chasing, you're kind of pathetic. If your entire self-worth can itemized by how much you paid for that stupid f*cking GG belt buckle, you are absolutely destitute.

[finsterhund]

Baby beans update:

I now as of writing this have four confirmed scarlet runner plants. Got the fourth new sprout just today.

I had to prune a leaf off of my first and biggest and favourite because it got stuck to a pest trap on the window but it seems to be doing alright in spite of that. Has yet to start vining around supports despite me giving it one to try out already and attempting to coax it onto it. Maybe it's way too soon. I have multiple trellis styles for them to choose when they actually start wanting to anchor themselves.

Been on the hunt for plant rooting hormone with no success. I don't want to have to buy it off Amazon but looks like I might :( I want to get into propagating cuttings as it's more interesting to clone pieces of a plant than waiting for seeds to germinate (blame all the fucking parsley my roommate wanted me to grow for his rabbits. That shit is boring as fuck. Things still haven't sprouted. So much of my limited window space is dedicated to parsley. I can't wait until it sprouts so I can stick it on the patio and give sprouting real estate to something that doesn't go to hell and back before sprouting. Then when I finally get to go to a garden center I see they're selling already established parsley plants and for fucks sake... Oof... Should have just gotten one of those and tried to propagate it to grow it out more. I know for next time I guess)

I got a mysterious plant at the store. No clue what it is but my friends say elephant ear and I'm losing my mind at what are the chances!!! I hope it is because of that. No clue how to take care of it. The only words on it were the barcode that said "tropical" so I'm just winging it and hoping it likes what I do for it. Here's a photo if you think you can identify it

This mysterious plant looked sad and alone and fucked up like me so I rescued it. Repotted it and it seems to be doing okay considering I have no idea its care requirements.

My neighbor who's been super nice gave me random bulbs and seeds so I've got tulips I think. Roommate wanted to learn how to plant things so I let him plant one of the bulbs and it seems to be doing alright. Thinking about putting them on the patio in these little hanging planters I got from the dollar store. Not a flower man to be honest (blame my allergies and the fact that flowering can kill a potted Venus flytrap) so I'm less interested in having them in my room. But what I do like is daffodils. I associate them with my grade 3 teacher and I'm pretty sure the school planted a whole bunch of them in his memory so when I saw daffodils I had to get them. They're doing pretty good in a terracotta pot I got for them. I've been pruning off flowers and leaves when they dry out and it's been shooting up new ones.

I'm trying to propagate a blackberry cutting without rooting hormone and there's buds sprouting but no visible roots yet. Oof. I heard raw honey is a good rooting hormone alternative and I have raw honey so maybe I'll try.

I desperately want to propagate cuttings from beloved trees of my childhood. Since cuttings are clones it's like literally having part of that tree with me. But I'm so far away I can't collect cuttings. That's why I called my mom last night but she doesn't understand or know how to do it and didn't want to do it so that's a bust. Apparently willow is really easy to propagate and also really easy to make a bonsai tree so my immediate thing I will beeline to if I ever get to go back there is the beloved willow tree. Willow is so good at propagation you can make a steeped tea out of fresh willow growth and use it to propagate other plants! So if I ever get my hands on a clone of my beloved childhood willow tree I'll be doing that with the cuttings.

My mom might if I'm lucky passively try to get me acorns from one of my favourite childhood parks though so this is something at least.

Someday I want to do grafting!!?! Which is like propagating cuttings but more like a dark arcane abomination magic. It's where you take a branch or something from one plant and surgery it onto another plant. And it lives!!?? Yeah. Turns out that's how you grow fruit trees that don't suck. That's why my childhood attempts at apple trees never bore fruit (hahahahahahahaha look I made a funny) because especially with things like apples and avocados the seed you grow doesn't necessarily result in a tree that has those fruit. It's weird as fuck tbh. So you have to graft from a plant that does. Apparently there's possibilities for certain abominations. Aka different fruits on different trees. I think that's extremely cool but fucked up. kinda like if you got an organ transplant and it brought with it skills or talents or interests of the person the organ came from.

I want to get cuttings of the fruit trees from the Spot house also. So many places so many plants.

Mom also said there are oak trees in grandma's garden. More reason I want to go back there. What must the garden be like now? What survived? Hnnnn

I want to live in the farmhouse and restore the garden so bad. I'm more of a greenhouse guy so maybe I'd convert it into a greenhouse. Would be better in the long run for retaining moisture and overwintering.

Truly feel like I'm in my magic rock special powers era right now. Apparently I'm too focused on my plants and that I should be patient and that I'm expecting them to grow too quickly so hopefully the novelty will wear off to some extent so I can be more casual.

I'm looking for good full spectrum grow lights to use as bulbs for my main bedroom light. So far I've only found those weird purple grow lights. If I had sun emulation as my bedroom lights that'd mean I could grow plants anywhere in my bedroom and also it would probably help me. I just gotta make sure that having grow lights on all the time isn't carcinogenic, you know? I wish I could find one of those lightbulb splitters that's also a timer so it would switch from the grow bulbs to a normal bulb after a certain point. That would be the dream. Having my lighting situation automated without stupid smart bulb phone app stuff that dies after a year *glares at my previous setup*

Having bulbs that are enough for plants as the main light source of my room and being able to put plants everywhere would be nice I think. Imagining sunflowers and runner beans just all over the place. I'm having difficulty figuring out how to put hanging pots into my window but if I was able to grow plants anywhere I could just screw hooks from the ceiling and do that instead.

I wish I had so much more space. Like if I had an entire room dedicated to being a greenhouse. I want bonsai trees so much. Apparently the conditions I keep my bedroom make it more ideal for bonsai than people's homes which is neat. I also heard that if you plant a bonsai tree properly even after years it will grow into a normal healthy tree. So I could have bonsai of rare endangered or otherwise desirable trees and then upon my death they could be used in reforesting efforts. Or just put at my gravesite instead of a body.

It's sunny today. Happy because it's good for my plants.

[hershelchocolate]

Who knew buying myself a children's book would be so hard 😔 cant have shit on amazon

[ohsochill]

i used to think working at a bookstore would be the perfect vibe for me.

love books. love reading. love bookstores. nice discount. why would this not be a good idea for me?

then, in my 20s, i got a job at barnes and noble and i hated it.

the store i worked at was very hell bent on selling memberships to customers. as cashiers, we were taught how to upsell a membership and i could only RARELY for the life of me, get someone to bite the bait. the membership gets you free shipping online, i think 40% off of hardcover bestsellers, some percentage off in the cafe, and 10% off anything else in the store. only for an annual/sign up fee of just $25 (which now seems like PENNIES. 25 bucks for a whole year for you rich mofos that spend $100+ dollars in here regularly? now that i have a real day job even i would sign up - if i didn't prefer just getting used books on amazon)

the only time i could get someone to sign up would be if they had spent $250 or more on their purchase, because signing up got you 10% off your order, and the membership was literally free at that point. i had a few instances where this happened and people still told me no.

i didn't care to haggle people to buy a membership. i would have preferred to ring them up normally and not even bring it up. and even though i was the lowest seller of memberships, the managers refused to stick me anywhere else. i would have been so much better at shelving books or doing inventory in the back, but they felt like i needed to get better at upselling first. which made no sense to me. if im not good in one area, just put me somewhere else. is that not common sense? i had this job during the time i fell into my first depression, and one day i could not hold it together. i was fighting back tears while ringing up a customer, so i went and asked the manager if i could be given a task in the back - something that didn't require me to talk to customers because i couldn't keep it together. instead she told me to go home. this was the better option anyway, but they just never wanted to show me how to do something else and i didn't get why.

i started to feel like the treatment was somewhat discriminatory. the bookstore was in a somewhat affluent area, in a shopping center with alot of pricey retail shops. 90% of the customers were white, and i was the only black girl on staff, so you can imagine. customers asking me a question, then asking a white employee, only for them to give the exact same answer i did. the latter time being sufficient somehow. any time i tried to speak up for myself, or just correct someone, - at a normal and sometimes low volume, people would respond as if i had yelled at them. when all i did was have the courage to speak directly. the same way they spoke to me.

something about working minimum wage jobs amongst teens and being spoken to and treated like one, even though you're an actual adult, bothered me. along with the microaggressions and refusal to train me on something else. i quit after about 6 months.

moral of the story:

things aren't always what they seem. &, any job involving sales is not a job for me.

[acandrewswriter]

Why would you affiliate yourself with Amazon? Is there another place people can buy your books?

Hi disasterhimbo: Because a huge majority of indie LGBTQ authors have little choice but to use Amazon to publish. When you are an indie author, your choices are to go "wide release" through a company like Ingraham Spark (which can theoretically land your book at Barnes and Noble, etc), or to go Amazon exclusive with enrollment in Kindle Unlimited.

Here's the thing: Every author I’m friends with, including quite a few who are making a full-time living writing MM romance and MM fantasy, who has tried wide release has regretted it and gone back to Amazon.

Most books sales these days are ebook sales, and 90% of that market is Amazon. So if you go "wide release," what happens is that you only gain a tiny sliver of marketshare and available audience for your books, but you end up losing out on what turns out to be massively important boosts that Amazon adds to its KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) authors.

Those benefits are:

Higher royalties: Amazon exclusive books earn 70% royalties, as opposed to 35% on Amazon for wide-release books, and much, much lower on other platforms- traditional publishers tend to max out at paying 15% royalties at most. Coupled with Amazon's dominance of the ebook market, that makes wide-release a losing proposition, financially, for any indie author who isn't going to sell millions of books (which is most of us).

Kindle Unlimited: Amazon exclusive content is made available through Kindle Unlimited. Of the thousand or so readers my first book got, 60% of them were on Kindle Unlimited. Without that boost, I would have made even less money on a book I lost money producing. So I would have had 60% fewer readers, and been earning only half the royalty rate.

The effing algorithm: Amazon boosts your sales during the first 90 days of publication by putting your new release higher on search results and category lists. The more sales you make within a short period of time, the more the algorithm boosts the visibility of your book.

It's far more expensive to do wide-release (because, for example, you have to pay out hundreds of dollars to buy ISBN numbers- while Amazon gives them to you for free), and it is never made back in sales (Wide release results in massively lower royalties- a financial loss that is not made up for by the wider release- because Amazon dominates the market). Worse, it is a lot more work to manage- and those of us working full time while trying to write only have so many spoons to go around (especially when we are our own promotion team, our own ARC team, - we are basically doing all the work of a publishing company ourselves).

Even with the support Amazon gives to KDP authors, I'm still not breaking even doing this- I pay out money to produce my books, hire editors so my books aren't awful (dev and copy editing typically costs around $2k dollars), hire out professional artwork for decent covers (around $800), pay sensitivity readers among my beta reading team (again, hundreds of dollars), etc.  And none of that covers the costs of promotion, which is the single most expensive thing in the whole process- more than all of the above combined. In short, to have any prayer of breaking even you need higher sales and higher royalties, and Amazon is the single best chance of either.  

I am lucky that I have a full time job that pays enough that I can afford to do that (a privilege that too many LGBTQ writers can't afford at all). Until I got a higher-paying position at my workplace just before the pandemic, I couldn't afford to do any of that then either. It was a dream out of reach.

If it weren't for Amazon, these books-and a lot of other excellent indie LGBTQ content- literally wouldn't exist. The cost of publishing would be too high, and the returns too low to offset it (let alone make enough actual profit to make a meager living as a starving writer).  

Sure, Amazon is the evil empire- and frankly, it treats its KDP authors in shitty ways a lot of the time (the Amazon marketing platform is a joke, designed to mostly get you to throw your ad money at Amazon while getting almost nothing in return for it- and Amazon frequently jerks authors around without much transparency- we basically can exist as authors only at Amazon's mercy, and that does suck).

That's also why traditional publishers are kind of a joke now- because only the most wildly successful authors stand to gain anything from having a trad publisher (of course, they still have enough clout to “create” wildly successful authors). Small presses force you to do your own promotion (literally, two of my best friends wrote a novel with a trans protagonist published by a Simon and Schuster imprint, and the company did *no promotion at all*, no ARC services, nothing... like, if you are a trad publisher, what's the point of you then? To give an author a lousy 7-15% royalty in exchange for literally nothing except having a publisher's name on spine? wtf?).

Amazon has, smartly and evilly, made itself the only financially viable game in town for niche indie authors.

There are a lot of indie LGBTQ authors on Amazon. A lot of trans authors, queer authors, gay authors, non-binary authors, getting their books published because Amazon/KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing) makes it affordable for them to do...

Like most things in the world, Amazon's evil is a mixed bag, and sometimes it's hard to pry apart the good from the bad.  Long story short: If you like or want to read more indie LGBTQ books, Amazon is still evil but it’s also your best bet. 

[hackedmotionsensors]

lmfao god the bird app is the worst i really wish i could get away from it 

so goodsmile is in a lawsuit with some former employees. Read the polygon article for it not the kotaku one. The kotaku article is shit and biased. The polygon article explains whats happening a little more clearly.

But BASICALLY what it SEEMS like...is that Goodsmile is suing two former employees for a breach of contract and they’re suing for 2 million dollars. Thats enough money to make anyone try anything to not have to pay that. So it definitely seems like the two guys who got caught breaching contract are throwing a hail mary by syaing that the company is guilty of multiple things. Tax evasion, lolicon, over sexualizing underaged characters, and being a passive investor in 4ch*n. (Kotaku claimed they owned it which is factually incorrect).

So rightfully people are worried about purchasing toys from GS right now. And so I basically said “why don’t we wait to find out more info. Some of this stuff seems (like what I said above) but I could be wrong. I can’t find anything that says that GSP invests even passively in 4ch*n” 

I ALSO said in a separate tweet (my bad bc this is where my trouble came from) was that if you were really worried to just hold off on buying new figures. You can’t help it if you already bought something bc that’s like finding out after the fact that In n Out donates to the GOP or its like buying things from Amazon but maybe not exactly since its almost impossible to not pay for SOMETHING from amazon or google since they own practically everything and its pretty easy to not buy an anime figure lol. 

So then someone comes out of the woodwork, doesn’t follow me or the person i was replying to and starts going off on me. Telling me how I was supporting the company that supports white supremacy and I was like that’s not what I said and then I realized my heart was racing and I was getting really nervous for no reason so I had to go back and just delete everything.

Like goddamn my one thing I was trying to really say was DON’T PANIC and I started panicking. Its just that I hate when people come out of the woodwork on twitter just to start a fight for no real reason. Like they even liked another post I tweeted so they clearly went to my page to see my other tweets and the tweet where I said “Don’t buy anything if you’re concerned” they ignored. They LITERALLY only wanted to fight. I’m an old lady I can’t take that kinda stress anymore. NOT OVER FUCKING ANIME FIGURES AND FOUR CHAN LIKE????? I’m JUST TRYING TO PAY MY BILLS JUNIOR CUT ME SOME SLACK lmfao

[jiminrings]

honestly i could talk w band!hobi abt numbers all day, like i wouldn't even mind. what are ur thoughts on 27 hobi? i think they a bad bitch. also UM might i request a drabble abt like a film major! yn (that is very enthusiastic abt films and the aesthetics + cinematography and whatnot) w like,,, a theatre kid?? any of ot7 works fine and it's all good if u can't or don't want to! thankyouu 💜

muse of mine

pairing: namjoon x y/n

wordcount: 4k

glimpse: namjoon’s always been a little sensitive to feedback whether it’s positive or negative, y/n’s an endearing type of talker, and smuggled snacks to the theater haven’t ever tasted this sweet :D // gif from pinterest!

notes: i kinda switched it up a lil bit and made them more established in their respective fields bc my mind went berserk on this concept!!! also this is mayhaps my oNLY piece that’s just pure fluff

“27? The number? Hmm. That sounds... sexy.” - band!hobi

this been’s bugging you for the past half hour

this whole experience feels oddly familiar

you’ve been in this theater for half an hour so far to watch this play!!

lmao ur gonna admit RIGHT off the bat that theatre’s definitely not it for you

your slight unfondness for it is deeply-rooted back to university and for four years, you’ve consistently taken dumps on theatre kids even if it’s under your breath

alright it’s possible that you don’t hATE the actual people ( only some of them ;D ) themselves but rather this whole type of cockiness and the “i’m a direct descendant of shakespeare himself. trust me bro. on god” energy that they always seem to exhude

but realistically, maybe this deep-rooted hate stemmed from seokjin

he was the guy you’d share the exact same elective class with him for two straight whole semesters and you’ve been seatmates from time to time

homie took foreign language as an elective?????

the language is korean?????????????????

“wait b-but i — aren’t you — n-no but i really???”

that’s what you first sputtered to him in realization when he took his seat beside you

the two of you have only ever shown each other notes bc the other was dozing off and the occasional sharing of gummy bears that’s already pre-opened to not make any noise

but for some reason, it’s only dawned in you why seokjin’s a god in this class and he answers your questions without even looking at his notes by hALFWAY through the whole semester of foreign language

one day, u are gonna find a way to bodyslam yourself and never recover from it ever again

“mhmm. don’t sweat it, sweetheart. i personally think it’s very don quixote of me to y’know, take something as impractical and amusing as this.”

you snort at his choice of words because honestly!! you barely remember don quixote and jin’s use of it as an adjective jigs up a refresher course on your brain

who was he again?? 

was he the donkey

.. or are you thinking about shrek again because of your film analysis

you sWEAR there was a donkey in that story

it’s good fun to talk with jin even if he keeps sliding bourgeoisie words here and there and you’re a lil confused with all these references that he makes but that’s okay !!!

atleast even him saying it in a long-winded way that he was like someone from the merchant of somewhere, you know now that he pretty-pleased and charmed his way to the registrar for him to take korean as an elective

...

two weeks later, jin sits next to you in class 

in ACTUAL non-elective, non-native language he already speaks class

now that you’re squinting a bit more, jin does look a little uh?? different

his hair that was once a hybrid of lavender and peach and pink and then blonde was now wholly black and it’s probably his original hair color because it matches with those eyebrows of his!!!

his combo of a black bomber jacket with a silk button-up underneath honestly SLAPS and it makes you forget how he used to exclusively wear only knitted shirts and argyle-patterned cardigans

you have ur jaw dropped because you totally would’ve fallen for seokjin jAW-FIRST 

— if only he didn’t strike you as the brother type when he smacked the back of your head because you were falling asleep on class again and uhhh you mUst be forgetting that the two of you were sitting in front

you had no time to reevaluate whether you should develop a crush for him or not 

he’s immediately slapping his hands on his knees, looking at you so intensely before pointing a finger at you with so much conviction, and then scoffing to himself

“switched majors to film. theatre was gonna be the death of me!!! y/n, if you even think about trying to switch to that cheap, amazon-ordered quill and tanning lights for stage lighting major, you’re absolutely dEAD to me-”

you’ve never had a conversation this striking nor long with jin but you genuinely have no complaints at all

seokjin talks pure shit about theatre and theatre junkies and everything in between for the WHOLE day 

trails beside you for every single class you had, which was convenient because he can then sweet-talk his way again (if anybody even dared to question him) that he’s just newly-switched 

sat with you for lunch and him not eating because he just needS to tell you all about it and you trying not to choke on your pasta as you try to reply to him

followed you back hOME and decided to crash the night there

yeah, that. your unfondness for theatre’s rooted on that one

uh-huh safe to say that you’ve become best friends with jin ever since that day

you’re a sponge for your friends and jin’s the closest one you have, so it was only natural that you soak up his distastes and whatnot

not to brag but aha :D

you add salt to the water while you boil pasta so u may be a little bit of a masterchef or somewhat, no big deal :D

he’s absorbed your fascination for all kinds of lights and fixtures that he has about seven different nightlights in the form of squishies or neon and everything else on his bedside table, in which he turns all of them on at night

fun fact: he’s capable of sleeping in the dark

jin’s the whole reason for your stance on this

he’s adamant about his points and you’ve graduated uni four years ago!!!

which is why you DON’T get why jin would give you a scented black envelope, with “don’t come to this” scribbled in gold at the front, carrying a single ticket to this play with a sticky note saying “don’t watch this at 7 pm, wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes, sitting at the ninth row from the back and two seats from your right.”

because of course!! what the hell did he expect you to do? NOT come to this play at 7 pm wearing your boss lady year-end award show type of clothes then sitting at the ninth row from the back, two seats from the right???

OF COURSE YOU WOULD

your goal in life is to do exactly the opposite of what jin tells you. there’s literally nothing else in life you’d want to fulfill

he’s made it quite easy for you to spite him and although you wouldn’t admit it.,,.,., you may be a little petty ok

he’s the even bigger goof out of the two of you and you can never have the final say!! it’s always him and his wit and yOU being the dunce

it’s a lil sus that jin’s basically ASKING for it with his instructions but whatever

whatever it is, this is finally your chance to enact the final say and you’re gonna pull ALL the stops

all you know about theater-goers is that they dress fancy and wear these mini binoculars and that’s about it

there’s not even one film you know that you see anyone in the audience wearing a worn-in cardigan or even a puffer jacket even if the theater’s mad cold

all the people bring are scarves and shawls???? thee thinnest version of a blanket that won’t warm them up against the frigid airconditioning

that whole dress code sounds ridiculous!!! great please ring out this thousand-dollar dress im gonna wear to the theater thank u

you’re a little worried that you’re not gonna blend into the crowd, but after some digging about the invitation, formal wear is most definitely recommended

it’s an exclusive invite-only play which would be later released to the general public later on so yeah the situation dOES call for a gown thank u very much

also how could you forget that jin explicitly told you not to wear this type of attire

if you’re being humble right now, which you always normally are, even if that jUST sounded boastful talking about how you’re humble all the time —

you do look pretty breath-taking :-)

even when the doors weren’t opened and everyone’s just collectively loitering outside the hall, you’d feel glances at you

the sweet security guard did a double-take at you and mumbled a “very very nice evening to you, miss :D” instead of his normal “enjoy the show!” to the other patrons before you

you’re gonna soak all the silent compliments up and try to remember all of them before writing them on your journal later hee-hee

your midnight blue satin dress that’s floor-length and off-shoulder is dEFINITELY in your favor :D

your dress still glimmers even if the spotlight isn’t on you and you wish you weren’t shy to ask a random stranger to take a picture of you

going on self-timer isn’t ideal either when there’s like a hundred other people in the room

they probably wouldn’t even care if you took a picture of yourself!!! but in your head they probably think that you’re laughable so you’d rather not.. do that

the theater’s dark as hell if that wasn’t established

it is literally pitch black in the room and the ushers at each row holding the flashlights that are meant to guide the patrons aren’t exactly helpful

big kudos to them though,, must take a lot of self-control to not wave their lights like it was a rave :D

a flashlight tHAT bright?? whew pls is this what ships feel in the night

the last time you were in a rave, your thirty minutes of fun was cut short when seokjin immediately got hammered and wouldn’t stop throwing a fit if you didn’t drive him home that instant

his energy seemed to compelling everyone that he’s managed to somehow suck the energy out of a WHOLE rave so you took him home for everyone’s enjoyment :(((( except yours apparently

you’re trying hard to focus on the play that’s happening because for the past twenty minutes, all you’ve done is zone out randomly with ideas all of a sudden 

you NEED to listen

....

uh-huh...

UH-HUH......

wait this is actually.. good

you find plays hard to follow and absolutely boring when you don’t immerse yourself in a run-down PRIOR to watching it in order to get

it’s the same analogy as reading the plot of a movie on wikipedia before watching the movie at the cinema.... absolutely useless

it sucks out the fun from something you weren’t supposed to know

watching plays is two hours of you being confused, going home to read the plot and only understand it by tHEN, and never coming to the theater again because you’d waste your money.... watching something cluelessly in the theater..... for a plot you’d grasp at home

but no

because this one

actually this one that you’re watching...

it’s not bad

it’s nice, actually.

within two minutes, you managed to grasp that it’s a story about a never-ending spring between these two lovers

there’s something about the whole setting of it actually that just sucks you in

in some plays, the outfits would seem so forced even in the given context that it reminds you of uh a particular superhero movie

and yes ur aware that stage makeup has to be enhanced so that people all the way to the back row would see

but there’s just something in this scene that’s laid out right-now that actually gets you in awe

it’s of the couple in the back of their pick-up truck and everything about it seems so natural

the background straight up looks like what it’d be if you were to go outside

the guy’s arm around her shoulder seems so natural and in nature that it doesn’t feel like a random cue in the script

the girl twinkles and it doesn’t even feel like a forced type of laugh you’d cue in attempt to warm the audience’s hearts

it’s of a plot where the the guy eventually falls out of love with the girl, while girl gets even more smitten with the guy at the same time

it’s what you take from the past ten minutes that you watch in dead silence, and you don’t even remember in the back of your head that you’re supposed to hate plays

“no way.”

you mumble in disbelief under your breath, head shaking profusely

is your mind playing tricks on you???

you’ve got too used to seokjin sitting beside you that you immediately turn to your right, whispering out your concerns 

“is it just me or is she wearing a different shade of pink?”

you don’t even buffer for one second when you ask the stranger beside you

you’re so concerned that you’re looking at him intently while waiting for his answer that could either console or despair you, a random theater-goer that’s too noisy with her questions for her own good

it’s absolutely dARK as fuck in the theater but after awhile your eyes adjusted slightly

and the first thing you look at after the stage is him

him as in the dude in your right that you just asked all of a sudden

you could only see his silhouette and the faintest features of his face along with his well-dressed suit but god

... you are totally not lying if you say that even the barest silhouette of him doesn’t look handsome

you’re expecting him to tell you off for being so noisy but instead, he’s the one who takes you by surprise

“how did you notice that?” 

:O

“oh my god!” you exclaim almost too loudly that you yourself even jolts, the guy even making you duck with him slightly for a brief second, “im sO sorry!! am i accidentally spoiling it out for you?”

the guy blinks twice, lips slightly parted before shaking his head no

“no, no... this is the first screening — i mean uh, how would you know that?”

oh boy

you’re adjusting yourself on your seat, bum now warm as you try to explain and not be nervous because what if you just made a wrong assumption about this play and you’re sitting next to a goddamn tHEATRE BUFF???

“well i —uh, uhm what’s your name?” you’re flustered and the FIRST thing you ask is what was his name.,.,,

he seems equally as flustered before he adjusts his glasses, “o-oh uhm i’m namjoon...?”

alright! handsome guy is namjoon!

“you see, namjoon — okay it might just be in my head, but i tHINK it looks deeper with the light somehow. but uh...? the spotlight’s not following her and — is it just me or without the light, her sweater looks brown?”

you’re squinting and if u squint even more, maybe your contacts would just crumple by then

hold on a second

“brown, like — oh my gOD LIKE-”

namjoon puts a hand over his mouth before you could even gasp, hand reaching out for your forearm even before you manage to grasp his shoulder to take it in realization

was it under your nose the whole time??

“... fall.”

:D

holy fucking shit

namjoon looks positively euphoric looking at your face of realization, his once-heavy chest about the whole scene becoming completely devoid of weight

“exactly!!”

his confirmation makes you inwardly squeal, grinning as you point at him and the stage back and forth

“i think this is the first play i’ve become ever interested in watching.”

okay what now

his ears perk up at that, your first sentence that you’ve said after your pink sweater that looks like spring also looks brown like fall in certain scene because of the lighting realization

“it is?”

he takes the chance to look at you as best as he could, trying to play his squinting as cool as he can

namjoon’s far sighted and the glasses he’s wearing are nOT up to date with his current grade bc he’s pretty sure his eyesight’s worsened the past month

he can’t make you out wholly, but he does know that you’re pretty

his eyes don’t linger on you because of the snacks you’re fishing from your purse while you talk that are absolutely illegal in this theater house lmao

but instead, his gaze lingers on you because you’re so pretty

the minimal light that’s bouncing off the stage is enough for him to see a faint outline of your features, highlighting your smiles just right and your dress to glint underneath

“mhmm. i actually hate plays,” suddenly, you’re not scared if namjoon happens to be some sort of theatre buff and you’re offending him because honestly, you feel at ease. “crunch?” you’re holding out the mini bar of chocolate out to him, one he politely declines to because his eyes are bulging out the next second

“you do????”

his genuine reaction indulges you, making you grin ultimately that you put off eating snacks for now to focus on him

“yeah! this is my hate outfit :D”

namjoon giggles as if it’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard

you automatically scoot closer because this time, it’s yOUR turn to shush him

this is totally for just the reason of talking more discreetly and not distracting anyone and is totally not an excuse to be closer to the next guy and touch shoulders with him then get a whiff of cologne because it’s rare for a guy to be handsome and aLSO smell good

your eyes get used to the darkness and eventually, you could make out features of namjoon beside you

he has the prettiest eyes you’ve ever seen

and the way he looks at you makes you feel safe and even your height difference is visible with how probably lonG his torso is compared to yours, his gaze doesn’t make you feel small

namjoon’s still (unsurprisingly) far-sighted and ur so close that he’s a lil cross-eyed 

fuck it he’s gonna go to ophthalmologist FIRST thing in the morning tomorrow

“then why are you here?”

“my friend seokjin,” you lean back upon realizing the original reason why you’re here, the situation being so ironic that you puff out a smile

your friend’s named seokjin?

cool :D kim seokjin is namjoon’s of his favorite directors eVER!!

second best for him actually though.,., no one could quite compare to his first

your explanation makes him cackle several times, a swell of pride recounting why you hate (it’ll be past tense probably after this one) theatre 

“what about you?”

you turn the question to him, making his dimples disappear effectively that you think you’ve just spooked him

“i uh, well i always wanted to see a story that went like this, so i’m here.”

“you’re a critic? oh god. please don’t tell me you heard all my mumbles.”

no this is even WORSE

namjoon’s not a theatre buff

HE’S A CRITIC????????????

god im coming up

“don’t worry, i also think that the drapings must probably be dirty.”

he breaks out into a smile recounting how you were talking to yourself earlier, a snort escaping him involuntarily 

“RIGHT??? it’s like how do you even clean them?? do they fit in washing machines or-”

my god he’s such a nice guy!!!

in fact, he’s everything you want in a guy

you’ve went through atleast twelve facets of emotions for the past hour and you’re not even dating!!!!!!!

“my thoughts exactly!! and if it’s by hand, how do you even scrub the entirety of it?? or wring the water out??”

namjoon KNOWS exactly what’s up :’)

“is there even a clothesline that’d bEAR the weight??”

the two of you are so happy that you just look at each other laughing, a moment in time before namjoon nudges you to lean back because the ending’s happening

you don’t even question him how he’d know that it’s the ending and not just another opening to a new scene, just listening to him

you’re so happy

the play made you happy but namjoon made you even happier :-)

“if you are a critic, you should probably open up your review with this chatty play-hating girl beside you, then at the end, close it off with how she loves it.”

it’s the parting conversation as you realize and holy fuck you are nOT ready for it

you r gonna drag this out for as long as you could <3

......

and namjoon wants in too <3

“noted. if i was a playwright, i’d even make you the lead. which detail should i include? offering me wrapper-covered rice crispy snacks, or asking how you’d watch it while going thru the bathroom?”

this feels so natural

as natural as the couple in the play you’ve just finished watching :))

“you’re hilarious,” you’re not even the slightest bit annoyed and your restrained smile tells him all about it

yea you may have brought in snacks illegally but you aRE gathering your trash up as you’re a decent human being

namjoon wishes you’d pick up after yourself slowly, standing up from his seat as he has the plan of picking up trash that isn’t even his

“what name should i put then?”

you’re silent and oh god he thinks you found his company stupid and would definitely not give him your name

you’re not ignoring him though!!!

his words are still stuck in your head, realizing it lately with his “which detail should i include?”

“me wanting to turn this into a film, actually.”

you test the words out on your tongue, nodding to yourself after a few seconds that you seem so sure of it

“yeah. i wanna make it into a film.”

the lights turn on after being dim for so long, namjoon’s eyes going wide trying to digest what you’ve just said

“w-what?

.....

no fucking way

HOLY FUCKING SHIT SWFRWFBWRHGBRBVWRV SWBHJSDB SHJAVBHGJDS BWHRGHBSVWBGRH

namjoon’s malfunctioning as he’s looking at you from eye to eye, bottom lip trembling while he’s so keen at pointing at you

“y-you’re miss y/n!!”

....

right

oH RIGHT

he’s a fan of yours??

namjoon’s fanning his face because he’s about to literally burst into tears

how could he nOT???

how could he not be emotional when all along, he’s been talking to his number one favorite director????

you and your films are the absolute gems of his life namjoon’s not even kidding

your films were world-renowned for being so natural and sentimental without loading too much into it!!!! you’re known for being so humble through the multiple back-to-back awards and praise you get!!!! 

he cannot calm the fUCK down when you’re rubbing circles on his back

“you w-want to turn my play into a film?”

oh my gOD

you’re fumbling for the envelope and it’s only nOW that you realize that it’s not from seokjin in the first place

spring day a play by kim namjoon an invite for director y/n y/l/n

“it’s you!!!!”

“no it’s YOU!!”

jin’s plan worked alright :D

he’s just FOUR rows behind you lmao

it was just two weeks ago when yoongi, the executive producer of his film that he was directing, let it slip that he was co-financing a play

he met yoongi some semesters later after he became close with you, and he’s aLSO converted yoongi into hating theatre then he fit right in to your little posse of theatre kid-hating film students

that gave jin the laugh of his laugh and yoongi was not joking at all

“no, no. i’m telling you man. it’s different! i even have the script that i’ll let you read.”

and holy shit it IS different

if you see a couple tears on the last seven pages of yoongi’s copy of spring day’s script then mind yo oWN fucking business

then two weeks later, here he is :D

jin managed to also convert you to love theatre even IF it is namjoon’s play that did all the work

( also coincidentally found you a future boyfriend because he’s tired of seeing you alone and the closest you’d get to having someone is projecting your yearning into writing the scripts for the films you’d make )

he’s also secretly co-financed the whole play along with yoongi and he’ll drop that bomb later on lmao

“and that must mean i looked like a total FOOL beside you oh my god im so sorry!!”

namjoon panics at that, about to cry when another realization hits him when he’s about to put his head on his hands

“then that means the friend who gave you the ticket was-”

SEOKJIN VBFHSBVHSFBVSFHDVBSJFV SFJVJSFVSJVSSV SSV V FS FSV SFBVRBVRSVSWVGU

he cries to your shoulder and you never expected to be hugging and consoling someone you’ve just met two hours ago, a more than fond smile on your face he takes advantage of when he sneaks in the chance to ask you

“do you mean that?”

“now why would i lie to the playwright who’s been listening to me talk shit, then theorizing, then crying for the past hour?”

it’s true though

namjoon’s seen it all

he’s still handsome as ever even when he sniffles, his dimples on display when you return his question

“now did you mean it? writing me into your play?”

why are you even ASKING

:D

he’s the biggest fan of u

namjoon’s made notes of your work, dedicated scripts to your movies, and he’s thinking about how it’s not yet hitting you how your whole epiphany about the pink sweater turning brown on his play,,, was entirely inspired from you and your affinity for lighting in your films

he thinks it’s still a little early to kiss you on the cheek even if you’ve already hugged, instead settling on pinching your cheek with satisfaction present in all corners

“you’ve always been my muse.”

[noassallclass]

So my roommate spent all of today writing up a report for Critical Role as a company and I really don't know much about business stuff but I think it is fascinating. Read to the end for a wild ride.

"Okay here is my idea of how Critical Role is actually structured based on what public information exists:

At Geek and Sundry, “Critical Role” as an entity was essentially a partnership between all cast members. The only asset this partnership had was the intellectual property of CR and the only Revenue it took in was licensing that IP to Geek and Sundry. This is because Critical Role Partnership was adamant about maintaining ownership of the IP. This license then pays out between the partners. Percentage

ownership of Critical Role Partnership is divided based on money put in, and previous work done. I would be very surprised if Mercer did not own at least 25% but probably not more than 50%, and the others are probably more or less even. At this point, the cast members both draw a salary from geek and sundry as employees (or contractors), and collect drawings from the licensing of the IP and also royalties as actors. When Orion leaves, the others almost certainly force him to sell out his ownership portion and he probably gets royalties from Geek and Sundry (and later CRPLLC). At this point, this licensing agreement is the only transaction that the entity “Critical Role” actually conducts.

Geek and Sundry pays to produce, distribute, and market the show, and takes all profit. It also takes some aspects of creative control, but probably not that much, though this is listed as the reason to leave Geek and Sundry. At this point, Critical Role continues to license with Geek and Sundry’s parent company Legendary Digital Networks and incorporates their partnership into a Limited Liability Corporation “Critical Role Productions”.

The ownership split is probably kept mostly the same, unless someone decides to sell portions of their shares, but I don’t see why they would. The shareholders (or owners) at this point hire a bunch of employees. Some roles they hire themselves, like Willingham as CEO and Mercer as CCO, and some they hire outsiders like COO Ed Lopez, SVP of Marketing Rachel Romero, and VP of Business Development Ben Van Der Fluit. Those who take additional roles will take salaries for those roles, as well as a salary for acting and writing, and dividends from profits. It is likely that Lopez got a certain amount of shares because C-Suite Executives often do as bonuses because it’s non-taxed income until he sells it and it incentivizes maximizing profits because that would increase his dividends. The other employees probably did not receive shares, so as not to dilute the percentage ownership further.

Critical Role seemingly has no board of directors (it’s possible they have one which is not public), which only happens when there are so few shareholders that they can all convene and take votes (Usually less than 20 owners), implying they don’t use investors to raise cash, which is consistent with a desire to retain creative control. This also means that it is up to all of the shareholders to vote on decisions about the managers of the company instead of a board. That means the only way they could fire Willingham as Chief Executive Officer is if all of the shareholders convene and vote for his firing. Without a board of directors, which often has independent outsiders, this is typically seen as bad for the company’s interests, but is legal in this case because it’s a limited liability corporation and they do not trade on an exchange .

Over the next year or so, CRPLLC makes a new studio and Geek and Sundry gradually relinquishes the distribution rights to older episodes. At this point everyone who works towards the function of the production and distribution of shows is an employee of CRPLLC and not Legendary or Geek and Sundry. For the past couple of years, Critical Role has licensed various brand crossover products like Funko Pops and The Darkhorse Comics. Funko Pop pays CRPLLC for the character likenesses and keeps all profits. CRPLLC also produces its own merchandise like t shirts and that sexy calendar that they pay manufacturers to produce and CRPLLC makes the profit in that scenario. They also have advertising revenue, which is a straightforward revenue stream.

Throwing back to two paragraphs ago, if they don’t use investors to raise cash, how can they afford to embark on a new expensive project that wouldn’t pay out until the future? Well, they could take out a loan (ew interest), save more money in retained earnings forgoing development in other areas (what do you mean we can’t afford to redo our website?) OR

They could do an 11 million dollar kickstarter! This would allow them to retain ownership of both the company and the product, because kickstarter is essentially just buying really expensive merchandise! People will buy a 30 dollar mug if it also comes with the promise that if enough people do it, they’ll make a tv show. Kickstarter money is revenue, not financing and it’s actually against kickstarter’s rules to promise equity for backers. Instead, kickstarter backers assume the risk that investors take (albeit on a smaller individual scale) with none of the benefit besides knowing that they helped make something exist. Compare this to if I, Callie invested $11 million into CRPLLC.

If the Legend of Vox Machina completely bombs and bankrupts CRPLLC which was kickstarted: CRPLLC would have to sell off all of its assets, resolve its liabilities (pay people for work done before laying them off, pay off bank loans) and whatever is left over would be split between the owners. Do they owe you, the kickstarter backer, for not making the show? Legally no. You chose to give us that money and had to trust we would spend the money well to make a good show and we spent all our money making sure our tree leaf animation looked good and could only afford to make 2 episodes.

If the Legend of Vox Machina completely bombs and bankrupts CRPLLC and it was Calliestarted: It would still be the same, except now Callie, the person who put in a lot of money for this show, is also an owner, and at least gets a slice of that money after the debts are paid off.

If the Legend of Vox Machina is really successful and it’s kickstarted: Good job, you did it! You got a fun tv show and like a t shirt! Fun!

If the Legend of Vox Machina is really successful and it’s Calliestarted: Not only do I get my fun tv show and probably also every piece of merch that exists, I got mad paid as an owner, not just from the show itself, but as we sell more and more merchandise because I’m a part owner of the company. I then continue to make money from literally everything else the company does until I decide to sell my shares or the company goes bankrupt.

And even better news! Amazon Prime bought the streaming rights for two seasons, so now I, Callie, have even more money from that sweet sweet licensing money.

Speaking of which, it is likely that the Amazon Deal is structured as follows: Amazon pays CRPLLC to license LoVM, with the stipulation that kickstarter backers can access the first 10 episodes legally. CRPLLC pays, with Kickstarter and Amazon money, Titmouse Inc. to produce LoVM. CRPLLC makes the difference between what they paid Titmouse (variable cost, depending on ultimate cost of animating) and what Amazon paid them. Amazon makes the difference of what they paid CRPLLC and what they make at market with LoVM. Amazon is the only company that stands to profit directly from the actual product of LoVM doing well. If it does poorly, there’s the possibility it gets cancelled, meaning that CRPLLC (and maybe Titmouse if CRPLLC already commissioned the work from them) will still get paid by Amazon, but never released. It’s possible that other companies could buy the license from Amazon in this scenario. This is the risk of selling your show to another company.

CRPLLC also has one subsidiary and one associated foundation: Darrington Press LLC and The Critical Role Foundation

Darrington Press LLC is an imprint of CRPLLC created to design and produce card and board games with the Critical Role IP. DP has 3 listed employees, Ivan Van Norman as Head of Darrington Press, Darcy L. Ross as Marketing Manager, and Mercer as Creative Advisor. As a subsidiary, it is wholly owned by CRPLLC. DP pays manufacturers and contractors to design and manufacturers games and pays for its own advertising, as a separate entity from CRPLLC. DP will likely sell its products to games distributers and the Critical Role Store. If the Critical Role Store sells DP games it’s because CRPLLC bought them from DP. The relationship between DP and CPRLLC is that when DP makes a profit and pays dividends, the recipient is CPRLLC. If DP goes bankrupt and cannot pay its debts, CPRLLC is not required to pay them. CPRLLC also chooses DP’s Board of Directors, which is probably just the owners of CPRLLC. This is all very ordinary. DP has four announced games set to release in 2021, but as of yet has not released any products or made any revenue.

The Critical Role Foundation is a registered non-profit and legally distinct from CRPLLC with seemingly no employees, with Johnson as President, and 4 other Board Members: Mercer, Lopez, Romero and another person named Mark Koro, who is a figure very closely tied to critical role I will outline later. Lopez and Romero are also in a long-term relationship or perhaps marriage. It is usually considered a bad idea to have two partners on a board of directors, as a conflict of interest can arise easily. As a registered non-profit CRF’s projected breakdown of donations is 85% grants to other non-profits, 10% emergency fund allocation, and 5% admin costs (this would be where possible future employees’ salaries would come from). Board Members on non-profits traditionally don’t take salaries, but can use their role as a board member to calculate donated time as a charitable donation for tax purposes. This all seems pretty normal. It’s not stated if or how much CRPLLC itself donates to CRF, including its initial endowment, besides the donation of free advertising, as no donation matching or any other programs seem to be advertised. In terms of an initial endowment, it seems that the only money put in was immediately spent on filing fees and legal fees, meaning the initial endowment was less than $5000. As a result, CRF operates from donors and possibly is not funded at all by CRPLLC. Any money that is donated from CRPLLC’s profits to CRF would be a charitable donation and lower CRPLLC’s taxable income amount. CRF began collecting non-taxable donations in May 2019, and as of December 8, 2020 CRF has yet to publish their 2019 financial statements, so not much is publicly known of how much money is raised by CRF and if they achieved their desired breakdown.

Now to talk about Mark Koro. Koro is an executive of Governmental Affairs (some places list director and others list VP) at Qualcomm, a telecommunications technology company with an annual profit of $7.67 Billion, and is estimated to make $20 per smartphone sold. Every smartphone. Qualcomm has been sued by China, South Korea, Taiwan, the EU, and the USA for anti-competitive behaviour. Koro’s department of Governmental affairs is responsible for negotiating and bidding with governments for contracts and rights to airwave frequencies, and also lobby and develop proposals for telecommunications legislation and policy. Before this, Koro worked at the National Security Agency in their corporate relations department liaising with defence and intelligence contractors. Before this, he worked in the George H.W. Bush administration as The National Security Advance Representative. This entails preparing logistics and security for Presidential events and dispatching Secret Service Agents to respond to Presidential Threats and continued in this capacity under following administrations until 2008. Koro was also an advisor to The Deputy Director of the NSA (the second highest position in the Intelligence Agency), and was a consultant to The Lawrence Livermore National Library, which is

“self-described as a ‘premier research and development institution for science and technology applied to national security.’ Its principal responsibility is ensuring the safety, security and reliability of the nation’s nuclear weapons through the application of advanced science, engineering, and technology.”

These positions are all listed on Koro’s biography on the The United Nations website for the International Telecommunications Union Radiocommunication Sector (accessed Dec. 8, 2020). Mark Koro has no public associations with Charitable Work.

There is little online about Koro’s association with Critical Role, besides an article stating that Koro, as a fan of the show, in 2016 matched $50,000 worth of donations to 826LA. Koro’s associations with a monopolistic technology company, the NSA, Nuclear Weaponry, and multiple presidential administrations would be cause for alarm for many of CR’s fans, but if it were a purely professional relationship, it could be excused as including him for his business accumen, but Mark Koro is mutuals on twitter with all of the cast members and Brian W Foster, Britney Walloch-Key. This might seem like normal professional courtesy, but there is a lot of interaction between Koro’s account and Critical Role Employees’ personal accounts that reflect at least a close personal relationship between people that he would not interact with regularly just as a board member of a legally distinct organization."

P.S. 100% of Critical Role's Chief Officers are men in relationships with female subordinates.

[jamaiskookie]

How To Ask Your Crush Out: A Guide For Dummies [knj x reader]

⚖ warnings: intense amount of crack and very very trashy writing 

⚖ word count: 3.3k (very smol boi today, just wanted to get this little drabble out)

⚖ genre: crackity fluff; my specialty :-)

⚖ A/N: been preparing for halloween so forgive me for the short fic, i’ve been pUMPING out content for you guys recently. 

masterlist asks 

⚖ synopsis: Prof. Kim Namjoon is pleased and delighted to present his new class: How To Ask Your Crush Out For Dummies; A comprehensive, follow-along six step guide for the introverted and shy. 

A triumphant Kim Namjoon jumps into frame in front of the huge chalkboard in a huge lecture hall, holding a piece of white chalk in one hand and a pointer in the other, with a slightly maniacal grin stretched on his face. His black thick rimmed glasses are crooked and skewed, sitting on the bridge of his nose, completely lopsided. He’s been awake for- oh he doesn’t keep count. Possibly 28 hours by now. 

“Good afternoon, everyone!”  (It’s 6 in the morning, and nobody is in the audience.) He stretches out the long, metal chalkboard pointer, who he has named Bertha, and smacks it against the chalkboard. It echoes through the empty hall. He secretly loves the sound the long pointer makes. It’s so satisfying, and the fact that he got it on Amazon Prime for only like 2 dollars makes the sound so much better. 

“Welcome to today’s class!” He’s still talking to an empty room. It might be the desperation in him, or just his good ole’ friend sleep deprivation fueling his somewhat insane behaviour. “Today I am completely focused on solving the greatest mystery I have ever encountered in my lifetime. Arguably, this is the most scrutinised cold case ever seen in the world. Today we’ll be tackling: How To Ask Your Crush Out. Would anybody like to start off by introducing themselves, their crush, and how long you’ve been infatuated? Hm?” Crickets. 

“Ah, there’s nobody here!” Namjoon exclaims cheerfully, as if he only just realised. He swings back, turning to the chalkboard and continues teaching. “My name is Kim Namjoon, or Professor Kim to you,” Again, completely empty room. “And I have had a crush on Y/N L/N for almost two years now.” His smile falters when he realises it really has been two whole years. Clearing his throat, he smacks an A3 sized picture of a pretty girl onto the chalkboard. 

You are wearing a long cardigan sweater in the photo, candidly reading with headphones wrapped around your neck. Namjoon has written a barely visible small ‘Y/N, October 4th’ on the top corner of the picture. He’s always had a bit of a photography hobby, but his pictures always seem to turn out better when you are the subject. 

It’s a bit odd how you look so much better when you don’t know he’s taking a photo. All the selfies and old pictures from university he has of you are just as beautiful, but there’s something ethereal about you in your natural state. Sitting down and reading a book in a library. That photo is miles better than any of the stupidly extensive photo-ops you plan out for your Instagram pictures. He stares at the photo before turning back to the (imaginary) class. 

“Let me introduce the- as the kids say- lomél. I believe this is an abbreviation for Love Of My Life. L-O-M-L, if anybody wants to write the spelling down.” He swerves Bertha around to point at your picture. “This,” He says, seriously. “Is Y/N L/N, my… my friend since freshman year of university. I have never confessed my feelings to her, despite trying many, many times. Today, we’re going to trouble-shoot and hopefully solve this problem, while examining a shy person’s abilities to socialise and freely have a love life.”  Namjoon ignores the small voice in his head that mentions how a successful Philosophy professor who speaks in front of hundreds of students every day such as himself should be able to say ‘I like you’ to the girl he’s had a painfully obvious crush on for the past two years. 

“Step ONE:” Namjoon yells, writing a big ‘1’ on the chalkboard. “Do not start off a confession by mentioning a Confucius quote if your crush is not in the philosophy or ethics community! They will not understand no matter how obvious it is!” On the chalkboard, he draws an old man with droopy eyebrows and huge beard- Confucius. Then he draws a huge circle around it and crosses it out with a line using so much force he almost breaks the piece of chalk in his hand. 

“In fact, just don’t mention anything about philosophers! And don’t try to confess to them through a math problem, they will not understand!” Namjoon winces. He learned that one the hard way. (He asked you to isolate ‘1’ in ⅓ < 3, which is a seventh-grade level inequality. You had pushed him away and yelled at him for making you do math. The answer to the inequality equation would have been 1 < 3u.) ((1 < 3u = I <3 you. He thought it was pretty obvious.)) 

He draws a subtraction and addition sign and draws another circle, crossing through it. 

“Step TWO!” Namjoon shouts, cringing at the horrible scratchy noise the chalk makes against the board. “If you do get the chance to confess to them and manage to get through without substantially embarrassing yourself, DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT laugh and agree if they ask if you are joking! They will! Laugh along with you! While you try! To hide your pain!” 

“I cannot emphasise this enough!” Namjoon is basically screaming by now. He hopes nobody from campus comes in to complain. The picture of you on the board with the symbols that he’s drawn along with the big ‘FLIRTING AND DATING 101’ written on the top of the board could lead to some severe misunderstandings. “Do not laugh if that ever happens again- I mean, if it ever happens to you! It’s more likely than you would think if you are in love with a dumbass! It will happen! Misinterpretations and concerns will happen! Learn from them!” Namjoon writes a huge ‘laughing to hide the pain = bad ❌’ onto the board. 

“Does anybody have any questions?” More crickets. 

“Okay then, moving on!” Namjoon writes a ‘3’ below the notes for step 2. “Step THREE: Confessing via call, facetime, or handwritten letter would be optimal for the average introvert. I suggest a handwritten letter would be best for this kind of confession. Still not ideal, but it gets the job done. Can someone tell me why a handwritten letter would be better than a call, facetime, or anything on the internet?” Without waiting for his non-existent introvert class to respond, he snaps his fingers, a satisfied look on his face. “That’s right! Facetiming or hearing your crush’s voice would be too nerve wracking and inevitably, you’ll mess up and say something like ‘Did you know that Barbie’s real name is Barbara Millicent Roberts’ instead of ‘I’ve liked you for two years’...  I do not speak from experience.” 

Awkwardly, he clears his throat again, averting his eyes from literally nobody. “Texting would not be good! Texting is considered insensitive and is not a good way to confess your feelings. If the idea of a face to face confession is too intimidating or not ideal in your introverted situation, the aforementioned options would be your best choices. I strongly advise you to stick to those three. In order of a likelihood for a successful confession, it goes: Letter, facetime, then call.” He writes ‘letter > facetime > call > speaking in real life (?)’ on the board.

“hoWEVER,” He says, pointing at the large ‘3’ he wrote with Bertha. “If you do end up choosing to write a handwritten letter- write this down, this is an important note- do NOT forget to sign your name! Your crush will end up throwing it away thinking it’s a random admirer or a prank. MAKE SURE TO WRITE THIS DOWN!” On the board, he writes down ‘My name → Kim Namjoon.’ He nods thoughtfully. “Yes,” He says. “It’s important to write your name.” He mutters it over and over, staring glazed at the words written on the board. 

Close to bursting into tears, he grabs a hold of his hair and cradles his head in his hands. “Why didn’t you write your fucking name, Namjoon?” He frustratingly mutters to himself. Sighing, he puts his hands on his waist, marvelling at what he’d written so far. The peaceful silence doesn’t last for very long. 

“STEP NUMBER FOUR!” It’s not like him to be so loud. It’s probably a good, balanced combination of his lack of sleep and being alone with his inner thoughts. He’s pretty sure he has an alternate personality who thinks he’s Freud. Freud occasionally throws in some pretty deep psychoanalysis prompts for him to consider when he can’t sleep. 

“If… And only if you build up the courage to ask her out in person-! Well, firstly, congratulations, we’re all very proud of you. Secondly, do it in public! You might be thinking, Professor Kim, why on earth would I want to do it in public? Getting rejected in public is so much more horrible!? Well, BELIEVE ME, UNBELIEVERS- Getting rejected in public is sO much better than getting rejected in private! Due to our tendency to not draw attention to ourselves and the way we like to shrink in public, it’s much more likely that we won’t break down in tears if we get rejected in public! Well, once you get back home, you might start breaking down, so maybe this is just a temporary solution, but it’s still better than sobbing in front of your crush when you devastatingly get rejected!” 

Knitting his brows together, Namjoon corrects himself. “Not when you get devastatingly rejected, sorry. If. If. Yes, if. If you get devastatingly rejected. Come to think of it, in a purely logical way, you have a 50/50 chance of succeeding in your confession. ‘I like you, do you like me?’ That’s a yes or no question, isn’t it? A confession is exactly the same as flipping a coin! You have a 50% chance of getting heads, 50% chance of getting tails. Either way, you get on with your life despite getting heads or tails. So… the odds are kinda in your favour!” 

“Except when you flip a coin, you wouldn’t get nervous to the point where you accidentally push the coin into a mud filled pond where the coin’s favourite shirt got ruined so then the coin proceeded to ignore you for the next two weeks, making it the most miserable two weeks of your entire life… But that probably won’t happen again.” Namjoon mutters underneath his breath.  “Coins don’t wear shirts anyways.” Somehow, that seemed to comfort him. He writes down ‘coins can’t wear shirts’ on the chalkboard. 

“Step number FIVE!” Namjoon shakes his head, taking a sip of the espresso that’s been sitting on his desk for hours. “What was step number five agai- oh right. Step number five: look your best!” Namjoon catches sight of his reflection and winces. “Okay, maybe I don’t have a great example right now.” He reaches up and runs his fingers through his hair, almost puking when he feels the amount of grease and gunk buried in his scalp. He should probably shower. And get some sleep. His eye bags do not look very attractive right now. Maybe he should get a haircut too, it’s kinda getting wild up there. In his own defence, he’s been standing in this exact pair of sweatpants and glasses for the past couple hours, so he smells a tiny bit. Don’t girls like it when guys wear grey sweatpants? Frowning, Namjoon makes a mental note to do some research later on. 

“Shower, change, put in contacts, cologne, flowers…” Namjoon starts writing a to-do list onto his small notebook. “Would she like flowers, actually? Is it misogynistic of a guy to bring flowers or is it just a cute, nice gesture? Am I overthinking this?” His phone vibrates in the middle of his feminism breakdown, and he pats his back pockets before realising his phone was across the table. He grunts as he leans over to pick it up, and thoughtlessly, he accepts the call and brings it up to his ear. “Hello?”

“Where are you?” Your voice is both a comfort and a shock to hear so early in the morning. He can already see you sighing aloud and scrunching up your nose cutely, a habit you picked up from him himself. He does it when he’s embarrassed, but you do it when you’re angry. It doesn’t really work because now whenever you get mad he just swoons and gushes over your cute nose and chubby cheeks. 

“aH- Um… What time is it?” Namjoon fumbles around, jumping up. 

“It’s like 7 in the morning? Hello, you promised to come workout with me today? Come open your door, I’ve been ringing your doorbell for forever, but I think it’s broken. I’ll call the repair guy for you later.” Namjoon lets out a nervous laugh, guiltily looking at his shoes even though he knows you can’t even see what he’s doing right now. 

“It’s already seven? Wow, time flies really fast. I’m- ” He yawns, bringing the phone away from his ear for a moment. “- really tired.” A beat passes by. How is it possible that he can hear you get angry at him from here?

“Namjoon.” Another awkward laugh rings through the lecture hall. 

“Ahahha. - Yes?” 

“Are you at work right now?” You ask, voice suddenly turning stone cold. 

“Um, well, that’s a debatable question. See, is it really, honestly my work if I love doing it? Sure, it makes me a living, but of course I don’t consider it to be my workplace, you know? Like, I get to come in and do what I love every single day, educating the next generation. It’s actually a really bad mindset because once you refer to your job as ‘work’ you don’t-”

“Namjoon.”

“Okay yes, I’m at work.” He relents, pushing his glasses up and sighing. 

“Joon, it’s seven! Like, seven in the morning! Have you been in there since you clocked in yesterday morning?” You ask worriedly. 

“Uhh, I think so?” To be honest, he’s been here for two nights already, crashing out on a beanbag and brushing his teeth in the staff bathroom when he needs to. 

“Namjoon!” He mumbles out an apology. “What the hell could you have been doing in there? You don’t even have that many classes this week!” Namjoon lets his eyes trail over to the chalkboard, then back down to his notebook. 

“Uh… it’s kinda complicated?”  

“Okay, okay, I’ll come home now, don’t worry!” He says, even before you can demand he take care of himself. Sometimes, you’re just a teensy bit overbearing. It’s a messed up miracle he managed to fall in love with you in the first place. 

“Be careful, okay? It’s flu season, too, so you really can’t be this reckless! You’re literally going to drive me into an early grave, for fuck’s sakes. You’re always fussing over how overworked I am, so how could you not take care of yourself? That’s so hippo- hypo- ugh, what’s the word?” 

“Hypocritical.” Namjoon says into the phone while packing up his things. 

“Hypocritical, yes. You better be here in ten minutes or less, Kim. Come home, take a shower and then sleep. I’m guessing you have done neither of those things since yesterday.” Namjoon doesn’t have the decency or humility to give you an honest answer, so he just stays silent. His eyes are still fixed on the chalkboard. Where was he at when your phone call interrupted? Ah, yes. Step number six: ‘I love you.’ Step number six was a piece of advice he had gotten from Min Yoongi, a music theory professor who taught just a couple minutes away from Namjoon’s office. He’s been dating Jung Hoseok, another mutual friend of Namjoon’s, for a few years now. 

“What do you mean?” Yoongi just blinked when Namjoon asked him, stared blankly at him, lips threatening to pull up into a smirk. 

“What do you mean, ‘What do you mean’?” Namjoon said, huffing. “How did you confess to Hobi?” 

“Bro,” Yoongi said, now freely laughing at Namjoon. “If you can’t confess to her, just wait until you get around to thinking about proposing. Never been more nervous in my life, swear to god.” Namjoon had never been a violent type. Up until he met Yoongi. 

“Just- tell me how you did it, would you?” Yoongi gave a rare, small smile and beckoned him closer. He leaned in, about to tell Namjoon a big secret. 

“Just say it.” He whispered into Namjoon’s ear. Namjoon rolled his eyes, pulled away and rested his head on the sofa. 

“That’s the most useless thing I’ve ever heard.” 

“No it’s not!” Yoongi also leaned back into his seat. “Just say it. ‘I love you.’ It’s nothing difficult. Just say it!” Namjoon scoffed and left, but Yoongi called something out while he was walking away. “Hey, you’re going to lose her if you don’t do anything.” Namjoon froze, but continued to walk. Yoongi watched, two seconds later, amused as Namjoon came rushing back in, sat himself down on the sofa and demanded Yoongi tell him everything he needed to know. 

Thus, his six steps were born. 

If Min Yoongi, a person who is possibly even more shy and even more introverted than Namjoon, (Which is a big feat) can ‘just say it’, he should be able to do it easily. Namjoon nods to himself, rolling his head back and cracking a neck bone. 

Taking a deep breath, he speaks into the phone. 

“Hey, I have something to tell you.” 

“It can wait,” You say. It’s so like you to ruin a love confession, Namjoon thinks, laughing. “Come home, go sleep for a couple hours, then we can talk. It’s not important, is it?” He stares at the chalkboard, letting out a satisfied exhale. 

“Nope.” He says. “Not that important. I’ll tell you later.” 

“Okay,” He hears you grunt from the other side of the phone, shuffling around. “Hey, I’m gonna hang up first, I’ll wait for you to get here. Where’s your spare key again?” 

“Underneath the compartment in the hanging plant. Yeah- the one above the front door.” He hears the familiar jingle of his keys and your adorable ‘a-ha!’ from the phone, and his smile stretches wider. 

“Ohh, okay, got it. Thanks! You don’t mind if I go in first, right?” 

“Nah.” 

“Okay, bye!” Before he says it back, you hang up, and he’s left with an annoying beeping sound that repeats in his ear. He misses you, Namjoon muses to himself. He hasn’t seen you for much too long. Happily, he skips to the back of the lecture hall. (which he then immediately regrets when he finds out his legs don’t work properly after staying in the exact same position for hours without end.) He doesn’t even mind that you’ll see him in this horrendous state if he gets to see you fuss over him again. Your soft side coming out is like spotting a rare bonsai tree on sale in a run-down store- extremely special and only happens once in a while. 

Okay, that analogy was really bad, he just really wanted to mention his bonsai trees.

He spares one last glance to the filled chalkboard. With good luck, nobody will walk in and see that mess all over the board. He’d probably get fired. 

“I love you.” He says to himself. Maybe Yoongi was right. It does sound pretty easy. Namjoon walks out of the lecture hall, switching off the lights and running off to see you. 

Kim Namjoon’s Six Steps Towards Confessing Your Love: Introvert Edition

Do not refer to anything academic or clever in your confession. 

Do not laugh when they ask if you are joking once you confess. 

Letter > facetime > call

Confess in public. 

Look your best!

Just say it. 

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