#it was just an animation test to test my knowledge in perspective

[yuko-doescringyart]

Hagane miku is in Spain w//o the A

[phoenixblaze1412]

hawoo i like your writings soooooo much!!! can i request something like dottore as our father? like we're his child, literally. can be biological or adopted, up to u!!

His Legacy

Dottore doesn't have the time nor energy to find a lover and create a child with them. He doesn't even want to adopt one, there's a lot of processes that needs to be done before he can officially adopt said child.

If he wants a child, he prefers them to have his genes, a child that can follow in his footsteps and have the same knowledge as he does but from a different perspective of theirs.

What better way to make a child than in the laboratory.

After a month of finding the perfect resources and killing countless women to obtain the proper egg cells, he was able to create an infant, you.

He welcomed you into the world with a grin, his eyes staring back at yours, just the same color as his. He noticed your hair was blue as well, with the tips being a different color, possibly from the unknown mother's genes but he doesn't mind.

The segments all stood on one side of the room while staring at you, currently being held by Dottore himself as he held you out to the segments.

"What is that tiny thing?" "It looks like us but the tips of their hair is a different color." "Are they a failed segment?"

"This child you see before you is mine. I created them in the laboratory using a random woman's egg cell and adding my sperm cell to it. I expect the rest of you to take care of them as well. As for the name... let's call it (Y/n)."

You weren't much of a talker through the years of growing up but Dottore did found out your teeth were sharp like his, he was proud of himself to be able to create you that got most of his characteristics.

He personally taught you everything he knows, from the concept of science itself all the way to the medical field. You're already an expert at opening up a corpse at the fine age of nine without even vomiting or even disgusted at the sight and scent of blood.

Sometimes, the other harbingers would forcefully carry you out of the laboratory just to be able to enjoy the outside world and explore more, much to Dottore's annoyance.

Without the others knowing, Dottore would call a segment and order them to follow you and make sure that you're okay without being caught by his fellow harbingers.

You were given the nickname 'Mini Dottore' by Childe.

Whenever the eleventh harbinger called you that nickname, he would end up in your father's laboratory with a large bloody bite wound on either his arms or legs, courtesy of you.

On special experiments that requires a living test subject, Dottore wouldn't allow you to join in on the experiment, you would be taking the job of an assistant if an occasion arises.

Yes he taught you how to hold a scalpel and how to open up a body but he did it with a dead one. He didn't want you to kill a living organism yet, he may be crazy but he's not crazy enough to let his child watch a person screaming to death.

The segments would use you as a secret weapon if they were told to ask Pantalone for more fundings for their projects. They knew how the regrator couldn't say no to you. You may be a mini version of your father but you're way more adorable than him is what Pantalone stated.

We know Dottore's hair is usually around shoulder length but he doesn't know how to style it. With you in the picture, he had to deal with your hair because it would be everywhere and it is a big problem. It's either he cuts it short with scissors or style it.

He doesn't style it. He just grabs the nearest sharp object he could use and cut it short. He did thought of styling your hair like his but the idea was quickly thrown to the trash when you pouted at him. Luckily he knows how to do a ponytail, although quite messy but he makes sure it doesn't get in the way of your tasks.

Dottore would often be puzzled whenever he would see you caring for animals that were supposed to be used for his experiments. He concluded that this kind personality of yours could have belonged to the woman he killed back then, whoever she was. At least he didn't have to tell you who your mother was if you ever asked him, you were made in a pod chamber in his laboratory after all.

It may not seem like it but Dottore is proud to have you as his child. Aside from the new opinion and perspective he benefited from you, you grew on him and made him care for you.

'Father's little helper' is the nickname Dottore would coo at you whenever you assisted him with his experiments.

The segments treated you as their little sibling, making sure you're safe from harm. Doesn't matter if they get injured themselves because they can handle it but you on the other hand, are more fragile than them.

Dottore promised himself that he would never make you experience the things he went through in his past. He would never make you feel like a monster like he had endured back then.

Some would call you the second harbinger's apprentice, others would call you his pet.

The harbingers however, calls you Dottore's legacy.

[otori0]

Ho, Bam and consequences | ToG rant

SPOILERS AHEAD !!!

Disclaimer - I'm reading the manhwa at the same pace I watch the anime so I won't miss anything, and I'm enjoying both equally, I think there's value in both of them. Both will be referenced on this post. Also I haven't finished S1 yet so of course I'm open to changing my mind later on. I might also write a full analysis later on (probably on Ho because as you can see I'm very invested in his writing...such a shame he had little screentime). Additionally, this was written on discord so it's not as fleshed out and coherent as my usual posts.

I loved episode 9 of the anime to death. I loved it, but it feels to me like Ho's death had more weight narratively than for the characters. Especially, I expected his exchange with Bam and Rachel to affect them a lot more than it did, at least so far. Ho's death is important to the narrative because it showcases the gap between the powerful and the powerless, the chosen and the failures, in a more extreme way than the previous dropouts had. Ho's immediate response to his (very naive) plan failing is to kill himself, which hints that he might have thought about it beforehand- Ho saw his plan as his last chance to regain some self-esteem, pride and to show himself that he isn't wrong (and of course, to pass the test). This episode also strengthens Endorsis' despair to survive and aim higher, Khun's arrogance, and in general gives us a more empathetic view of how it feels to climb the tower for a Regular. I think Ho should have lived a bit longer and actually faced his plan failing (might actually write a fic about this), but it's something that would have happened sooner or later to someone, and a pivotal moment that involve two of the most important characters Bam and Rachel and also forces them to interact. At least, that's how it feels, that it should have been pivotal.

It undeniably is, but I can't help but feel that it should have affected specifically Bam more, especially the things Ho says to him. Him saying that the friend list is just lip-service and never meant anything to him should make Bam question the rest of his friends. It's one of the first times, if not the first, that Bam is directly confronted with someone lying to him like that, spitting on his good intentions, and showing him the darker side of people and the tower. Ho directly blaming him (''It's your fault for showing off your power'') should make Bam doubt himself and his power. Ho telling Bam that he's a monster, that he's going to become the same as the one who attacked his family? village? (i don't think we know the details), and that Bam is sure to grow up that way should make Bam reflect on himself, or feel shocked. But here is the thing- through his death and afterwards, Bam doesn't seem all that affected by Ho himself. Instead, the small bits we get of how it reflects on him are much more self-centered.

In the manhwa (and I'll never forgive them for skipping this line), when Ho kills himself Bam says ''Why must everyone always try to run away?!''. This line, this one says a lot. Bam seeing suicide (something he surely has or should have little knowledge of, all he knows is that Ho is dead by his own volition) as running away, something he has never considered of doing but he knows that other people do... He might see Rachel's avoidance as running away too. He might like Khun and Rak because they're two pretty straightforward and ambitious people. ((Or at least, that's how they look from his perspective- We however know that Khun is all but straightforward in his ways and he actually struggles with changing)) Endorsi is the same way. It gives us insight on how Bam sees other people, although so far he always tries to see the good in them. But it also just seems rooted in pure frustration, and I don't believe Bam is blaming Ho here. Once Ho's dead and they do his funeral, it seems like Bam immediately forgets and focuses on the most important thing: Rachel. In a sense, Rachel being injured is the perfect excuse for Bam to again shift all his attention to her. But the thing is- this isn't an inconsistency. I don't know how much SIU has planned this beforehand, but this makes perfect sense, which makes it frustrating. Bam really has mainly only thought about Rachel. Sure, he likes his friends, he cares about them, but he's lacking a basic empathy that people seem to miss, and once Bam actually loses Rachel, he's going to find that he's an empty person because he couldn't see the bigger picture. He's only seeing her and his own goal. His altruism is selfish from the very first episode, and that actually makes it interesting, but it's also sad because it kind of confirms Ho's fears. Ho is forgotten and meaningless and a failure. Up to now, the other dropouts also received this treatment from the cast, so it's not surprising, but it's still upsetting (not to mention, the only person who actually seemed affected by it left...which i completely understand).

We don't see much of Rachel's point of view, so I'm unsure on how she approached this whole matter mentally speaking, but we can tell that she either: 1. Didn't care if Ho actually killed her (most likely option), or 2. Was confident enough to think that she wouldn't die in that situation (can also be likely because there's many reasons why Ho's plan could have failed anyways without Bam being there). She might also be used to experiencing that sort of thing/her negative outlook might influence this.

((Adding to Bam's lack of empathy, there's the fact that he didn't hesitate to fight a Ranker after Ho threatened that he'd kill Rachel if Bam didn't. I won't go as far as saying that Bam would have tried to kill Quant, but I don't think he would have minded it if that meant Rachel survived. I wonder how much does Bam know and internalize about life and death.))

Some other small details that stood out to me that I might include if I write a Ho analysis: It's interesting that Ho brings up God a few times. I wonder how does God work in a universe like ToG's. Him assuming that God must have taken something from Bam in exchange of his powers is also interesting (''What did God take from him in exchange for that talent? I lost everything and all I got was enough power to do some parlor tricks.'') and it makes me wonder if he'll be proven right on this too...

It's upsetting because, in real life, you could argue with someone with this mindset that people's talents aren't given by god, that instead they're a lot of times the result of a lot of hard work. But in the ToG universe specifically, it does work that way, people are chosen and more than once one's hard work doesn't mean anything. So it's really interesting that we could see a character with this mindset.

All in all I really enjoyed that episode, I'm really curious to see if and how will this situation affect them in the future (the lack of effect is also an effect on itself, which was the main point of my rant), and to see how the cast develops. I'm very intrigued so far by the writing, it's very interesting, and I feel like every scene or line tells a lot about each character giving them a lot of personality.

Forever sad that Ho doesn't have more lore or scenes, but I can change that......

[just-prime]

I'm not sure if you've been watching The Acolyte, but my critically high levels of sodium over the Ahsoka series have returned with the revelation that Rosario must have fought Lucasfilm over fight/lightsaber training stipulating in her contract.

Manny Jacinto, who came to the role with a black belt in Tae Kwon Do trained for four months for his fight scenes before filming. Rosario repeatedly said in interviews that she trained for two hours a day while filming, and it was clear that she thought this was a lot.

I tried to write it off last year. Budget and time constraints, George Lucas overspent and Disney is doing things differently, the prequel era is dead-

No.

No, this is not the case.

Prequel era love and care in the arena of bringing characters who are expert sword wielders and martial artists to life is alive and well at Lucasfilm.

Daphne Keen fights like Ahsoka plucked from the middle of the Clone Wars and brought to life. Dean Charles Chapman's saberwork is a beautiful hybrid of Obi-wan and Anakin with lightning fast, graceful Soresu and saber spins, lightsabers are deadly once more and used in ways we haven't seen outside of animation and video games, and characters far, far older than 11 ABY Ahsoka have kinetic, energetic choreography because a 42 year old Jedi is nowhere near over the hill, and I'm done with being gaslit about her age.

There are many issues with this show, yes, but there are no cameos (save for one blink and you miss it), no name dropping to make the audience tear up and feel something based on the hard work of previous content. Nuggets are plucked from the EU and made fresh, like the delightful and creative use of cortosis. New force worshipping sects with their own beliefs are brought to life without being the Nightsisters. The galaxy feels large again.

It's everything Ahsoka wasn't and shows just how soulless an effort that show was. Ironically this is the show that's getting raked over the coals while nearly all criticism of Ahsoka was met with dismissal despite the show being desperately mediocre.

If you had asked me to go in without behind the scenes knowledge and tell you if Filoni or Headland was the one new to Star Wars and who was approaching this effort with genuine love of the material and passion for world building and adventure, it wouldn't be the guy who was recently made Creative Director.

I'm sorry for once again paragliding into your inbox (yes, this is the salty anon from last summer lol), especially if you aren't interested in The Acolyte, but it just sheds so much light on everything wrong with Ahsoka and how valid our criticisms were. Salt doesn't have an expiration date, so I hope this is a little bit of vindication!

Hello, hello! Hang up your paraglider, you're always welcome in my ask box.

I have been watching the Acolyte! I'll admit, I saved off answering this until the final ep had come out so that if there were any more cool fight scenes, they were not missed in my response.

Thoughts I had Pre Finale

All in all I agree completely.

While flawed (personally I feel like the acting on Osha and Mea is the weakest part of the show as a whole, as well as the fact that this very much felt like a movie idea stretched into a tv show) the Acolyte has been legions better than the previous slop that Disney Star Wars has put out recently. You know why? Because I had fucking fun watching it. Sure, afterwards I'd usually say something along the lines of 'wow the pacing is a bit weird' but all in all? Actively enjoyable. It never made me angrily close the D+ tab mid episode.

It's also been a facinating litmus test for what people are able to be chill about Star Wars and which ones are not able to handle it. The amount of reviewers and reactors whom I previously had massive respect for who just are acting like utter tools is really getting on my nerves.

Because in sooooo many ways this has been exactly what people have been asking for. A new perspective, with new ideas that isn't just focused on the Skywalker saga. And on top of that, holy fuck the fights are glorious. You are absolutely right, both Dafne Keen's and Tommon's fights prove just how well you can have lightsaber skills look from a single person, as well as the Wookie fight showing off some truly impressive choreo between the three.

And then you have Manny Jacinto...hello ARMS

The man is by far the standout joy of the series (followed closely by Sol) as the man just oozes charisma. His big fight against everyone was brutal and I'm glad to see that lightsabers are once again deadly in the Star Wars universe. Watching him mow through a legion of Jedi was so incredibly satisfying to watch, and again he is just knocking it out of the park with the choreo. LOVE the way that they've introduced cortosis into live action, especially in a fighting style. Headbutting a lightsaber was fucking amazing to witness. Though it's actually not the first time that it's appeared in Canon star wars, as it appears in the second canon Thrawn book, Thrawn : Alliances!

The exploration of the Dark Side is being done in such an interesting way, because none of the practitioners we've seen would self identify as 'dark side users' at all. Because sure, you have Manny Jacinto who is out being evil because the Jedi were going to label him as dark side either way so he might as well defend himself, for him it's just the way he connects with the Force. But you also have the witches, who's mind infiltration is certainly Dark Side, but are just out here living their best witchy lives. They live by their Thread, regardless of what the Jedi would call it.

As always, also the "the jedi need to be the coolest and the morally purest people in the whole wide world" people are having hissy fits, which is just like...no? Stop being allergic to nuance? We've seen time and time again how the Jedi were in fact a child taking cult (yes, yes they are, if you disagree i'd recommend going and rewatching TPM which spells it out pretty clearly) usually we've just been on the Jedi's POV so it seems justified. The Sol flashback episode I think shows off this mentality very well. He had good intentions, sure, but all in all, he wants to take and even Trinity calls him on it. It's a fascinating examination of what decades later would lead Anakin down a path of desperation.

Speaking of Anakin...People getting suuuuuper protective over Anakin's super special status as 'the chosen one' was also rather surreal to witness. Personally, I don't see how this invalidates his 'the chosen one' in the first place? But people were definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel for things to complain about, as opposed to offering actually constructive criticism, of which there are plenty of options.

Thoughts I had Post Finale

All in all, nothing really changed for me, as usual, the pacing was absolutely fucked and the action was absolutely incredible, and in the end, I enjoyed the experience of watching it.

I certainly appreciate seeing more of the Jedi actively covering shit up, both in little ways as well in big ways.

Also *waves* Hi Plagueis!

My main little gripe

I really don't get why they needed to actively tie Mr. Darth Hotpants over here to Venesta specifically? I get the want to connect him to an established character, it just rang a little hollow for me. I think I'd have preferred it if he was just a rando youngling who never even got to being a Padawan cuz the Jedi kept trying to basically de-dark side him ala grade schools punishing for being left handed. Donno, I just think that would have been a bit more compelling.

My main BIG gripe

Why...THE FUCK...did they split up??? They burned waaaay more time having their little heart to heart then had it been all three of them fucking booking it to the ship. I just don't get it. I don't get why Mae or Osha would want to leave each other again, and I don't get why Manny Jacinto would willingly give up an additional fighter. I get the whole "There can only be two" bit, but A) Plagueis is already there on the island, so Osha makes it three and B) Osha's probably going to be more motivated with a little living reminder of the Jedi's lies being right there and present and C) Osha and Mae are both so fucking powerful why would anyone just let one half of the pair walk away????

It just didn't fit with any of the character's previous actions so it annoys me.

Kinda ended as I began, relatively neutral on it all. Think if pressed would give it a 7/10 just because the action was SO FUCKING GOOD, otherwise it would probably be lower due to the rather painful pacing issues and the meh acting on display from Amandla Stenberg which was just such a huge shame cuz I know she's got more range than this.

Mainly, I just really really hope future shows take from this just how good lightsaber combat can be when you have properly trained performers. THIS should be the standards, and it's painful that its not.

As always thank you for dropping into my ask box! You always give me so much to work with it's a joy to respond :D

[illmamnim]

Going insane over AvM for a moment

I'm the opposite of a math person, I can't even visualize numbers properly, but I REALLY want to talk about Animation vs. Math from a storytelling and animation perspective, utilizing my recent math knowledge (literally had a math test 3 days ago, that's mad).

The obvious, as with "Animation vs." usually, is the build-up and delivery of story, character and themes with no language (unless you count growls as language) and no expressions- just acting and sound design. However, what shined about Animation vs. Math specifically, is that there is, well, math. A language on its own, and with it's own logic. The utilization of this logic creates the entire premise of the video and they undoubtedly used it creatively.

Second is playing around with numbers and finally reaches 100, a minor, unintended goal. We all know that numbers are infinite, but seeing the minimal space that 100 takes, conveys the feeling of infinity to a T. We get introduced to the antagonist, ie^(iπ), and the goal- a way out, supposedly.

He plays some more and is slowly reaching squares and roots. Here's where you can start to understand that this isn't a flat world of calculations, not like a notebook or whiteboard. This is mathematics visualizing before him- the numbers reaching a 3 dimensional space we can't even see. But fret not, they still don't just throw you into the deep end. Second continues to explore and unravels numbers based in letters and calculations. With a little more testing he managed to summon ie^(iπ) (a real "true-name magic" moment) and to chase it.

In this action scene we see the mechanics we've learned so far being used with things that are not numbers, showing that they too can be broken and reconstructed, and we are introduced to how those mechanics can lead into reactions that are translated in to in-universe physics. All leading us towards a more multi-dimensional understanding that'll help the later scenes not feel overwhelming.

The space continues to be manipulated as ie^(iπ) escapes. Accidentally, Second stumbles into an i and the dot falls, helping him discover the short-hand into visualizing the graph they exist in. X and Y axis let him create a circle and play with its mechanics as well, leading to yet another summon of e^(iπ) and a battle, only now Second can manipulate calculations in a 3d space more efficiently.

At this point, I have no idea what any of the references mean even in concept, so I'm just going to focus on story.

Second fights e^(iπ) to a breaking point and they decide to work together so that Second may finally leave and e^(iπ) can fix things. We see all the things we've learned so far used to create a circle and fill it to the brim so that no point is un-calculated, a portal sending Second home. Coming full circle (haha) back to e^(iπ)=-1, just as we first learned at the start of the video.

A creative, epic, satisfying animation full of care, creativity and enough nerdiness to kill me. All I have to say is-

WHAT WERE THESE SHAPES? WHAT IS א?? THAT'S A HEBREW LETTER! WHAT?!

[tenebrius-excellium]

YOU WATCHED TRIGUN STAMPEDEEEEE??? HOWD U FIND IT WHATRE YOUR THOUGHTS !!

I CONFESS I WAS THE ANON ON YOUR BLOG YOU STUPID (affectionate) FRIEND; I GOT IT FROM YOU!!!

I LOVED IT!!!

Thanks for the accidental recommendation! :P

Ok I know NOTHING about anime, okay? Anything I say was great or not so great might refer to Trigun Stampede specifically, or it might just be an anime thing in general because That's What An Anime Is. I can't tell the difference.

LOVED the intro song (Tombi by Kvi Baba). Constantly listening to it right now. It's hauntingly beautiful yet so easy-going and chill. I looked up the lyrics and they're about being a light in the darkness, I dig that theme!

LOVED Meryl from the start. A level-headed young lady who craves the truth, justice, and knowledge beyond herself because it's the right thing to do. She cares so much. She doesn't steal any spotlight by interfering or by being dramatic. She simply observes, listens to instructions that will save her life, and draws her own conclusions. I'm glad we got to experience the plot through her perspective first! A "journalist investigating a story" may seem like such a dumb start - could be Hallmark. But in this Space Western setting, it's perfect.

VASH MY BELOVED. I hated his intro because it made him seem so dumb and silly. There's a difference between making a character seem naive so that he gets underestimated (bringing in the - surprise! - big guns later), and making him outright ooc to create a false first impression. Idk I knew that his FIRST scene where he needed a bullet was not how his character would remain.

HIS CHARACTER DESIGN IS SO COOOOL!!! Idk from the outfit down to his martial arts skills matched with radical forgiveness and pacifism - DUDE. He's very complex. Idk yeah he lets himself get shot in total surrender but there is the part where one bullet won't immediately kill him and he knows it. There's also the part where Wolfwood challenges him on his beliefs, saying that for all his "peace and love on planet earth" talk he sure does not clean up after the messes he creates. The thing is - it's not so much about taking responsibility for the bounty on his head or something, but rather for the fact that his behavior evokes confused, angry and frightened reactions because it comes unexpected to a human society that is drilled on survival. As much as he CHOOSES not to use violence time and time again, I think he needs to cultivate some awareness that this is unusual behavior and that it triggers people to do crazy things (based on insecurity) around him. On the positive side, he confronts each and everyone with their personal tolerance for violence and tests their hearts that way. Beautiful.

The team is so well balanced! Vash, Wolf, Meryl, and Roberto - Dream Team!

The actions scenes take my breath away. They are so so so so good. I am noticing the attention to detail and the accuracy to skill that everyone is describing. I am also highly enjoying the ingenuity of new moves and awesome use of weapons, physical strength and surroundings. I'm sorry, I can't explain the brilliance of these moves well - but you already know what I mean.

I didn't quite get the in-depth explanation of the conflict I think??? Like, I'm still not quite sure what a Plant is, why Vash and Nai are more intelligent than the rest of them, why they were in space to begin with and what exactly Knives was trying to achieve by traveling to a higher dimension? I really didn't get the angel theme and why Vash suddenly developed a wing and became dark (I like his darker look tho). I also don't quite understand Nai as a character. To ensure the survival of Plant seems like an understandable cause for his actions, but why be so cruel and uncaring about it? It doesn't explain his maniac barbarity. Explanations are more than welcome!

What is your obsession with Livio about?? I mean I know, he was epic in that one scene he appeared in, and his bond with Wolfwood was genuine and deep. But he literally took himself out like a light, so... where's all that additional Livio content coming from? It's also really sad. Like... he never even gave himself one minute after waking up. That was a bit morbid.

Oh my gosh Vashmeryl is the og canon? I'm happy there wasn't any forced romance between anyone in this season. Only platonic connections for once. Amazing. Whatever Vash and Meryl end up as, I'll support both.

If there comes a Season 2, I will watch it!!! I don't know how far I'll take Trigun Stampede in fandom, but believe me, watching this has positively altered me forever. It's so FRESH.

Again, thank you for the unintentional recommendation!

Cheers

Reddie

[softievante]

a request, if you're interested!

BIG mingyu finds a box of clothes that wonwoo is planning to give away. He gets curious and tries to try on one of wonwoo's shirts and its really tight on him(barely goes past his moobs). when he tries to get it off, he finds that he can't and wonwoo comes home to an embarrassed mingyu who is struggling to get it off

ANON THIS WAS SO VISIONARY OF YOU… i must confess i’m a bit vanilla when it comes to my own common writing about size, but i like to challenge myself + your req was like 🤌 hope i’ve met your expectations :3 i’ve also used it to test this try at writing about bigger boys :)

cw: (light?) humiliation (it’s consensual ok)

“the curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back” says an ancient proverb that’s more well-known for its first part. the second one usually comes as a surprise for most people, and sure gives a new perspective to the saying. curiosity wasn’t supposed to be a bad thing, nor something worth of negative consequences. knowledge should be celebrated, after all.

to change the animal in question, though, would it make a difference? let’s say, a puppy. a very curious, nosy puppy boy who was all on his fours (not for the reasons he commonly got into that position), grunting and sighing as he didn’t find what he was looking for. would he end up in trouble for such eagerness to find out about everything and anything?

mingyu was, beyond all, impatient. and it seemed the bigger he’d gotten, the more impatient he’d grew, too, always whining and demanding and pouting when he didn’t get what he wanted. right now, the small noises of frustration came from the mystery of where had his boyfriend put his new pair of jeans, bought last week when mingyu decided his then current ones were getting too snug. all clothes seem too snug when you reach third digit lbs, you know. especially when you surpass the first hundred.

so there mingyu was, on all fours, belly touching the ground as he sweated due to the effort to keep supporting his own weight. the closet wasn’t the coolest place in their apartment, which only made him more miserable.

“where the fuck is this…” he paused in the middle of cursing when he found a cardboard box where ‘DONATION’ was written. “oh.”

he pulled the box out of its place, suddenly forgotten about his pants.

it wasn’t supposed to be anything interesting, nor surprising since the purpose of those clothes being there were literally stamped on the cardboard, but somehow mingyu started to grab and inspect piece by piece, laughing at some weird t-shirts and gasping at others that he considered too cute to be thrown away.

in the process of rummaging through them, however, an idea lit up in his mind. some of them were pretty. pretty enough for mingyu to take his time examining the fabric, the striped pattern. obsessing with how small wonwoo was in comparison to him.

if he took just an instant to think about it further, he wouldn’t do it. mingyu is not the type to ponder, though, so before he can understand how disastrous his actions can be, his torso is already naked, hands gabbing excited at wonwoo’s t-shirt to pull over his head.

it looks like a crop top. and that’s being gentle. the fabric got stretched, the effort to make it enlarged enough for mingyu’s width turning it into a second skin, almost. it barely covers his fat breasts, the sleeves are suffocating his swollen arms.

curiosity gets the cat killed, and the puppy… the puppy gets stuck, breathing hard when he notices it’s tight, tight, not the common tight of his clothes. the collar hugged his neck, making him realize how extra he got everywhere.

a voice sounds from the room, “mingyu-ya?”

mingyu froze. he knew what was coming for him, and it was not flowers and chocolate.

“hey, why are you…” wonwoo stopped mid-sentence when he saw the scene in front of him. “woah.”

“i think i stretched it,” mingyu spat out like it wasn’t obvious that he had completely ruined his boyfriend’s t-shirt.

“stretched it? baby, you’re about to rip it,” wonwoo chuckled, biting the inside of his cheek as he drinks in the sight of mingyu’s enormous frame displayed like that. his belly hung over his sweatpants, full of rolls and stretch marks, his navel deep and begging for a finger inside. “how did you find these? and why were you trying them on? there’s no way they’d fit you,” wonwoo makes sure to point it out, putting his hands over the soft skin.

“i was looking for my new pants and found the box,” mingyu explained, sighing when he feels his boyfriend caressing the large area of his gut. “and i just thought it’d be fun but… but now i’m…” the words struggled to be out, until he expelled them in a sigh, “i can’t get it off.”

wonwoo’s eyes glistened in both desire and malice.

“got so fat you can’t lift your arms?”

“t-that’s not it! i can lift them alright!” mingyu raised them in retaliation, which only made things worse. everything jiggled, in a way that was almost ridiculous.

“ooh, poor thing, need help from his boyfriend to get out from the tiny, tiny shirt you stole from him?” wonwoo mocked, pinching his boyfriend’s double chin. “god, it doesn’t even cover your tits.”

mingyu flushed. there was something terribly arousing about having his overgrown, fat chest called tits. especially when said tits were being squeezed by his lover’s slender hands with no mercy.

“w-wonwoo, please…”

“please what, baby?” wonwoo teased, holding the two breasts under the tight shirt. his cold hands provoked a shiver on mingyu’s skin.

“help me… h-help me take it off,” mingyu whimpered, face violently red from embarrassment.

“what if i don’t want to?”

“p-please.”

“alright, let me just have this for a moment.”

maybe there was a time wonwoo was less shameless. currently it was not the case, so he made no ceremony before putting his mouth over mingyu’s left nipple, sucking on it like it was a very sweet source of pleasure. he did the same with the right one, encouraged by the moans his boyfriend slipped, fingers entertained between wonwoo’s hair strands.

“already worked up, big guy?” wonwoo mocked when he let go of the right tit, a sly smile on his face while he gazed at mingyu’s wrecked face, lips circled in an ‘o’ and forehead painted by a thin layer of sweat. “can’t even stand up for a few minutes to have your boyfriend suck on you?” the only response he got was a mere whine. “alright, arms up,” wonwoo commanded, finally kind enough to help mingyu out of the t-shirt.

after some struggle, they managed to roll it up and pull it off, a fit of giggles elicited from wonwoo in the process as well as cries of protest from mingyu.

wonwoo folds the t-shirt neatly, like it isn’t all funny-looking after mingyu’s try-on.

“gonna keep this in case a good opportunity to make you use it comes at hand.”

mingyu smacked his arm.

“i’m not gonna wear it again. ever.”

“we’ll see about that.”

[chaos-snakeboi-journal]

War Journal: Salvation of the Prime Dominions #5

Wonderful news, dear journal! That which I have always suspected of myself has proven true at last: I am a failure!

Despite a great and savage battle at which I crushed the enemy and rose to heights of glory, the news from the battlefront revealed I had simply fallen for an orruk ruse. Me! Deceived by the filthy slaves of Twin-Headed Hungerer!

Three sites fell; although thankfully not a single one at which the Dark Choosing was stationed. The men under my command seem to eye me with resentment as word of our failure spreads around the camp. At least if they had fallen in battle, it would have been blood spilled. Instead, we put on little better than a show for starving orruks and a party for nothing but my own gratification. Rarely has my soul felt so terrible a depth of uselessness.

My compatriots seem less fazed by my dazzling incompetence and, understandably, more concerned about the ground lost to the terrible Mogrek. I feel wholly cast adrift, which I imagine is a feeling my native allies are dealing with eightfold. How would I feel if a great horde of green-men crushed humble Carngrad into the dirt of the Spoil? The Path to Glory asks you to stifle empathy and bury your feelings for others, yet as I see the mightiest of us bent and harrowed by what they've seen, my soul bleeds for them. Will I bend and break as they have when tested on the true crucible?

We will see. The Waaagh! has a tempting target in Iden's Vault, where aid has been requested. Given what I owe to Lethe, Dynawr, and Darathuus (as well as my abysmal performance at defense), I have elected to join them in that place, where many great treasures are held. The warriors of the Gilded Eye will like the opportunity to loot and pillage, and they will be free to do so in an area without civilian concerns. I think this will be better for morale than an exhilarating skirmish for naught.

Speaking on civilian concerns, I've been turning over the events at the Four Sisters in my mind. Many soldiers of my coalition chose to defend the area by swelling their numbers and corrupting the land. While I wholly understand the practicalities of their work, and cannot for a moment deny their efficacy, I cannot deny in myself the knowledge that what they've done is a diplomatic disaster. The Azyrites and the Ceraphate both find their actions distasteful, and I cannot even begin to hope they might be talked into seeing the wisdom of it.

I, myself, find a position of understanding their perspective while still thinking they're incompetent, short-sighted animals. It is just like the doomed tribe of my Silaasti brood; they take too much for themselves and refuse to any concession to thought or wisdom.

Perhaps there is an inevitability to consider. Perhaps I should neither punish nor even worry about my Coalition's behavior. Perhaps caring is a weakness that only clouds my vision. At the end of this war, we will all have made choices to alienate one another, and we will sit on pins and needles, hating and killing each other again until the next war meanders along. All I can hope is to bring glory to my mistress and death to Sarn Qarang's enemies. I'll consider the wisdom of abandoning my senses over the next phase of the war. Until then, I will find my bearings in a storming sea of doubt. We will not lose, even if this land burns to ash.

More later.

[thesecrethunt]

This is my diary blog so I'll put whatever I want here. Growing up in a Puertorican Afro-Latino family, we were heavily involved in Ifa, Lucumi traditions. Because of that, I didn't have the same naive mysticism around it like others who left the Christian Church, especially Black Americans who find Ifa after wanting to separate from a "European Religion". I think mine is a perspective worth hearing.

I grew up hearing the stories of the Orishas, cleaning chicken feathers and blood, attending the thousand dollar ceremonies. I watched them throw Opele and Diloggun, I knew at least a good amount of the Patakis. I saw what happened beyond the curtain.

I could have been initiated, but I walked away for a reason. The "babalawo" my tia married started beating the shit out of her and my mom had to save her. It was the last straw and my mom and I walked away from the religion. We tried to help and support my tia, but then we had to finally separate ties with her as her continual involvement in Ifa kept bringing dangerous men into our lives. She is still involved to this day. Still being taken advantage of by strange men. That was when I started to question.

A lot of young black folk start questioning and leaving Christianity in favor of ATR because they hope they will find answers in an unapologetically black spirituality. But, let me tell you, it's more of the same shit.

Threats of hellfire are replaced with threats of angering the Orishas or the ancestors for any transgression. Babalawo demand your life savings in the name of "sacrifice" as a test to whether you're truly committed to the path. Every major decision you make, every dream, every sign, you must shell out money for divination to put you on your "true destiny". Any attempts to divine or think for yourself are "malicious trickster spirits" to replace threats of "satan" or "demons" in Christian terminology. Ask your Baba. Pay $70. Ask your baba. Pay $120. The magical Kola Nuts say you have to pay me $500 for Ebo. And if you don't complete Ebo, the Orishas will be furious and ruin your life, probably kill your cat idk.

If you're leaving Christianity because you loathe being subserviant to a wrathful, tyrannous God, you will not find solace in ATR. In many ways, it's worse. You will spend the rest of your life in poverty, shelling out every penny to ceremony, readings, Ebo, all of it. Tens of thousands of dollars.

In times of tradition, money was necessary because it went to paying for the community, opening schools, orphanages, funding farms. And babalawo ran these operations. That world doesn't exist anymore. Now, Babalawo use it as a means to pay their bills, incentivising scamming.

Animal Sacrifices were to feed the family, the community. To thank the Orisha for abundance, not to "feed" them. Now, in a world of grocery stores and refrigeration, perfectly good meat is left to rot on shrines and wasted. Slaughtering an animal without need of food is animal cruelty and I don't care who that offends.

These traditions were designed in a way that was practical to the needs of the villages of the time hundreds and hundreds of years ago. Now we perform these wasteful ceremonies designed for a world that no longer exists. Waste of money, waste of food.

Do you really think that the slaves who preserved these traditions had the money and livestock at their disposal to perform these ceremonies? These "satanic" loud, massively performative ceremonies out in the open of their Catholic enslavers while slaughtering their masters' lifestock? Hell no! They would literally be lynched. And yet somehow our enslaved ancestors found a way to preserve knowledge without money, ceremony, or even dignity.

People think just because it's not mainstream religion, that Ifa, Isese, Santeria, Lucumi, are all somehow immune to the same logic and questioning we don't spare Christianity. But ALL faiths should be questioned. ALL traditions. Or you risk being susceptible to spiritual abuse. And make no mistake, modern ATR is full of spiritual abuse. In some ways, even worse than Christianity.

And before anyone can tell me, "oh it was just a bad babalawo". No. One Babalawo is a lone instance. Five Babalawo in a row with supposedly good reputations with their community? That is a sickness in the culture itself. You think we didn't try to do our homework after the first bad encounter? Try to find a good honest elder we could trust?

Babalawo, these spiritual leaders, guides, elders that we're suppose to look for wisdom from? Listen to the way they talk to people. Cussing out and insulting anyone who questions them, tripping over their own egos. Don't believe me? You can go to r/Santeria for a little preview of how these "sacred leaders" speak. Pretty sure I watched one of them call someone a bitch last time I scrolled. No, that's not just online behavior. They are like that. I lived it and saw it. Those are the people "chosen" to be your oh-so-wise guides. The once holy title "babalawo" means nothing anymore. People who bought the title with cash but without the iwa pele, the character, to back it up. All of the money in the world and none of the inner work. It's blasphemy, but more importantly, it's embarassing. They dishonor the orishas and the ancestors who risked their lives to preserve the sacred knowledge. Maybe you will find a good man, a kind babalawo with his heart in the right place. A REAL babalawo. I can't generalize and say there isn't a single good leader in ATR, because of course there must be. But I haven't met him. I met wife beaters, perverts, deadbeat fathers, manipulators, and scam artists. All of the most monsterous people I ever knew were priests. And in my experience? It's not worth wading through a sea of monsters to find one angel. Especially not at the cost of your life savings (and maybe even the cost of your life). And I can tell you one thing, if there is a single good babalawo out there? He is not cussing out people on internet forums.

Homophobia, transphobia, misogyny is rampant. Maybe you will be lucky enough to find a more welcoming ATR community nowadays than when I was growing up queer in the early 00s, but you will have to wade through all the crap first.

As for the divination, I have a lot of reservations for ANY religious practice that promises to find the meaning or "destiny" of your life through divination. Conveniently, the only way to receive divination is to shell out $$$. Orishas can conveniently only communicate through this singular, overly complex system of divination that is paywalled behind a Babalawo. You MUST complete whatever the divination demands (which will usually cost more $$$) or else you will anger the spirits or your problem will get worse of the orisha will punish you. Blah blah blah, empty threats of hellfire and damnation but with an African Theme.

First of all, the Orishas sound more and more like the tyrannous Christian god who will torture you in hellfire for any transgression against him. Any wrong move, any offense or taboo and they will hurt you, they will hurt your family, they will hurt your friends. So give money to your babalawo to fix this problem we made up for you. For the right price, he, and only he, can fix you. ...Sounds like my aunt's abusive ex husband.

Let me ask you something, if the answer to life and our destiny could be found in tossing shells or drawing in the sand, then why couldn't it prevent the Atlantic Slave Trade? Why couldn't it save us from European Conquerors who stole us from our home and colonized our homeland? Where were the answers then? Why does every tribe, village, and clan in Africa run by divination and fear of supertition live in abject poverty while begging USA and Europe for food and medicine? Sure you can blame some of it on colonization, but colonizers laugh while these easily manipulated people don't have the critical thinking skills to resist them. Meanwhile countries that are moving away from supertition and divination like Nigeria, or Ghana are rising as World Powers in their own right.

That sounds callous, that sounds cruel, that sounds insensitive as fuck but I need to drive home how fucking poisonous superstition and overreliance on divination is. We (black and latinos) already have issues with poor education in our communities. High drop out rates, poor underfunded schools, low college enrollments, poverty. And now you want to further poison our already struggling communities by adding superstitious fuckery to the mix? I can already hear our white masters are laughing at us from beyond the grave. There is nothing wrong with the occasional tarot reading or astrology as a little spiritual comfort or advice. But relying on them for your life path? No divination method will find the answers to your problems. You will NOT find the answers to your life or destiny in shells and sand. It is NOT something you can buy with money.

The Orishas are not wrathful tyrants. They are our mothers and fathers, here to guide and help you. They won't harm you for asking them for advice or giving offering without a Babalowo. That is just religious spookism there to control you and control your money, and make no mistake, it is a form of spiritual abuse. But the Orishas will not give you the answers either. ATR loves to famously say the Orishas will never speak to you through tarot cards, or any other oracle outside tradition, but wait till I tell you they won't speak to you through seeds or dead snails or magical chains either. Blasphemous, I know. But, just because it's ancient tradition, doesn't mean it's right or correct to follow. Blood letting was an ancient practice too. So was drinking mercury. Live in the present.

The Orishas speak to you when you embody their lessons in your life. When you walk as they did and learn from their wisdom and their mistakes. They live in you. Not in silly statues you get from thousand dollar ceremonies. They don't speak through anyone or anything but your own Ori. Your crown. What Orisha has your head? They all do. They're not fucking hogwarts houses to sort yourselves in. They are all there to guide you at various stages and events of your life. They are the embodiments of the human experience, and they live within you. If you connect with a particular Orisha? Embody them. Learn from them. When the Orisha live in you, you honor them by taking care of your mind and body. If you have thousands of dollars and time and energy to spend on ceremonies and rituals, then you can afford to go to school and get a fucking education. If you have thousands of dollars, you can afford books in science, philosophy, and mathematics. Knowledge you won't find tossing dead snails on a mat. If you have thousands of dollars to spend on ritual, you can afford a healthy diet to nourish your body. You can afford a gym membership. You can afford a therapist and regular doctor visits. If you have the time and devotion to spend ritual? Put it to better use volunteering for your community. Honor Ochosi by volunteering at an animal shelter or honor Oshun by volunteering to clean up your local rivers. Your job is to learn and grow throughout your life and come to decisions with the brain Obatala tirelessly sculpted and put in your head, not look for answers in shells and seeds. Money and superstition will never replace lessons and experience. You are meant to live your life, get hurt, and grow. You must bleed and suffer for your wisdom. That is real sacrifice. It doesn't happen at an altar. Knowledge and wisdom is not given. It is earned. You cannot buy it. You are not meant to know the answers. You are doomed to carry your own cross. Stop looking for shortcuts. When my mother and I did things the "right" way. Through tradition and ceremony, our lives were nothing but pain. And of course they were. Our lives were being run by predatory men, lusting over our money and bodies. It was when I walked away that I found peace within myself and with the Orishas. And I continue to honor them independently outside ATR (the real Orishas, not the spiteful spirits that need to to feed off blood and money that ATR loves to paint them as. I see that as an insult to them in its own right). I really don't give a damn about what anyone has to say about me not "doing it the right way" or no going through the "proper procedures". I had more than my fill of that cult. And if you’re here to tell me the beings I’ve been praying to, who have been giving me blessings and watching over me is some malevolent spirit, please keep your mystic spookism bullshit to yourself. Please go find someone else more gullible than me to intimidate.

I'm never going back, but nor am I walking away from the Orishas that have been there for me since I was small. And if they are dieties worth having in my life, then they will understand why I will never initiate or have anything to do with those practices again. I never want to speak to another ATR priest as long as I live. I've suffered enough. I would never let anyone I love or care about get involved with ATR. Ever. When my friends find out about my past with Ifa and ask if they should get involved, I always tell them to run the fuck away. Any diety, orisha, god, that threatens to harm you for any reason is not a diety you should follow or worship. Period. So either the Orishas are kind and patient like a parent should be to a child, or they are abusive and unworthy of worship. I choose to believe they are kind, otherwise I would not follow them. So far, in the decade or so since I have been honoring them, praying to them, they have not harmed me. Nor will they ever. Because they are not monsters.

Atheists live closer to the divinity of the Orishas than any priest, babalawo, santero, or iyanifa. I believe everyone should walk the path of an Atheist before coming into spirituality. When you live a life of logic and knowledge, it's easy to see through the bullshit. Being good and kind for goodness sake, not under threat of divine retribution. I don't care who that hurts, I don't care who that offends. All organized religion is corruption, no matter where it comes from. Ase!

[thedivinecalamity]

I just want to ramble a bit on my thoughts on James Somerton before I watch Hbomberguys video on it so I can look back at this post (and feel totally validated on getting weird vibes from him) and see If my feelings were onto something. (Also I'm not pretending like I knew all along just how bad he is and trying to feel superior, sometimes I get bad vibes from channels and am right, and sometimes I'm totally blind-sided like with Gus Johnson who's videos I used to like)

One of the things that made me stop watching him was when he talked about anime/manga. The guy very clearly had a very western biased perspective on it (or at least whoever he was plagiarizing from) and never seemed to look for perspectives from the people of that actual culture, and also just seemed racist towards it in general.

Along with saying that most women who write/enjoy gay anime/fanfic are straight and fetishizing the relationships and gay men need to 'reclaim' the medium (after all, women aren't allowed to have anything, it all needs to belong to men). A lot of those women turn out to be queer, or later identify with a different gender/no gender.

Like I won't deny that fujoshis exist and that a lot of them are annoying and it is a problem, but I feel this issue goes so much deeper that people just don't seem to think about.

I'll try to articulate this point well even if no one is reading this cause I feel like screaming into a void.

Everyone jokes about whether some piece of medium would pass the betchdel test, cause women in a lot of media barely interact with men in a non-hetero way, let alone talk to other women. Which is why I think a lot of people, especially women, gravitate towards the relationships between the men. Often cause we have nothing to work with for the women. Like in the media I consume, which is a lot of manga I will admit cause I tend to prefer non-fiction for straight up literature, I will see a lot of interesting male dynamics, but often have to go out of my way to find any female dynamics at all. I genuinely like wlw relationships more than mlm but it can be hard to find especially if you're not going out of your way for it.

I think women also write a lot of gay porn because of how they are viewed/portrayed by society. Women are often so sexualized/objectified that I think a lot of them don't want to repeat that because they're tired of their bodies being seen that way. So I think they often flip it and try to sexualize men more in a bit of a middle finger way (like the rise in art of men in bunnysuits poledancing, which decades ago would probably seem ludicrous to hear a man in that situation, or taking comic book art and swapping the genders).

I will probably need to do more research on this next point, but I hear this may be a theory on why a lot of women have rape fantasies. I'm not speaking about rape victims having those fantasies cause I am just not knowledgeable enough about that and don't want to be hurtful with uninformed opinions. It's been stigmatized that women should not enjoy sex, and made the idea that females masturbating is shameful. So these fantasies can be seen as a way to enjoy the pleasure without having the guilt that you actually want sex. Ofc I know rape victims are stigmatized just as much if not more, so maybe this point is bunk. I hope nothing I said in this paragraph is hurtful, feel free to correct me otherwise.

Also just the fact that fandom spaces have often had a lot more women than men, and are often mocked for their interests. I won't deny that men haven't also been bullied decades ago for having 'nerdy' interests like Star Wars, but those people often tended to push women out of trying to join their groups. So women go on the internet and start forming these communities, and James now says that men need to 'reclaim' these spaces from women, that often were created because men pushed them out in the first place.

(I won't deny however that fandoms do have a misogyny problem. So many people do not seem to care about female characters. I won't deny that female characters can often be more poorly written, but I've seen people on here create entire personalities for male characters with none/not even having any speaking lines with none of that energy dedicated towards female characters. Skill issue.)

[charkyzombicorn]

Charky! My brain came up with a crack thought about Rosé’s heritage I need to inflict on you to see how it pans out. I’m pretty sure the timeline would be wrong so that’s why I’m sharing this with you for feedback

Rosé is surprised when the Dark King grabs her shoulder, keeping her from closely following the others. Her animal side sensed no danger though, so she allowed it. “Is something wrong?” She asked.

“No.” He assured her. “It’s just uh… you’re from CP9 right?”

Rosé nodded. “I’m guessing you’re from that island of orphans then?” He asked.

“Yes of course.” Rosé nodded. “I was soon moved to Enies Lobby as a special project though.”

“Right.” Rayleigh nodded. “Do you… do you have any knowledge about your parents? Or uh, your mom at least?”

Rosé paused for a moment, taking the chance to really look at Rayleigh. She remembered how Shakky had paused at seeing her, looking taken aback and kept shooting her odd glances. And Rayleigh’s eyes… well she had seen those eyes look back at her in the mirror everytime she looked.

“I was told that my mother was a dangerous criminal who was executed for what she did.” Rosé said slowly. “But I was spared for being a baby and because the government thought they could use me…”

Rayleigh gave her a pained look. “That’s all you know?”

“yes.” Rosé replied. “But if you have more to tell me, I’d love to hear about it… Grandfather.”

ASDFOEJXOBDOXBEOCXHSIWWW???????????

Okokokokokokokokok--

Semantics first:

- how old is Rose? I'm just gonna put 18 in here for my numbers

- Rayleigh's 78 - 18 = 60, 60 could be divided by 2 very easily but Also needs to be at least a 45-15 or 15-45 split, probably closer to 30-30, but there's a good chance Rayleigh met Link B (Shakky? Or maybe someone else? Shakky's 14 years younger than Rayleigh so rules out Rayleigh being 15-30 when he had kids but if he was 45 and his kid had a kid at 15-- I'm rambling) Rayleigh met [B] Link to Rose while he was traveling with the crew. Genetic testing is near impossible so Rayleigh and B Link had to be close enough to eachother for to their daughter (A Link) to be connected to her parents somehow from an outside perspective, or B Link up and left and Rayleigh was solely responsible for A Link, either way the crew Knew A Link well, at least some of them

- How does Rose know? Does she actually know her mother, or does she just have a vague enough understanding she can link it to Rayleigh?

- While A Link could have been passed off as another choreboy, there's still a good chance she could have been known as the Dark King's Daughter, especially if Link B was traveling with them. Did A Link evade that or did it catch up to her and that's why she sent Rose away? If so, why didn't A Link trust her father and step-mom/bio-mom with Rose? Or even Shanks or Buggy (she would have been between their age and 10 years older, right?) since they would have been early 20s and most things are better than a risk of government slavery. Did A Link have a choice?

- When did Rose learn her parentage? Was she still CP9 when she learned? If so - is Lucci a liability for maybe also knowing?

- How does Rayleigh know Rose is his granddaughter but was only guessing she was from orphan Island? Any heirlooms that wouldn't be taken by CP9? Or maybe a rare interited trait mixed with a resemblance to A Link?

SEMANTICS OVER! Longer than I meant but if you wanted concise you wouldn't have gone to me!

- MORE SIBLINGS FOR THE SHANKS & BUGGY DUO I'M FROTHING AT THE MOUTH

- If Rose's mom was 10~ years older than Shanks and Buggy there's a good chance she could have known Crocodile when he was on the Whitebeards and been near the same age as him. Possible friendship there giving Rose a cool mob boss uncle and Crocodile another reason to have been so strangely protective of Luffy, Crossette and Ace in Marineford

- Rayleigh being super nice to Crossette over the two years because he wants to make a good impression on the granddaughter-in-law ✨✨✨

- Rose only learns she needs glasses from Rayleigh because it's harder to tell when 80% of the crew needs glasses, she's as blind as her grandfather

- is Rose blonde???? (I'll be honest I always pictured her hair light orange-pink but that's because that's Rose Wine colour--)

- Crossette got the son of Gol D. Roger, the daughter of Silvers Rayleigh and the son of the Revolutionary Dragon to love her. Whose next? Uta? Katakuri? Yamato? Will she find if Teach has a child and adopt them into her family too? She can't be stopped

[saltintheseaa]

The Sparrow, a review:

My main issue with this book is it assumes the colonialist white savior mindset which approves of the missionaries’ morals as pure, and suggests that God’s inexplicable betrayal was the only reason Sandoz fucked up so badly. The book implies that were it not for God choosing to torment Sandoz, the alien mission would have gone smoothly. But that is soooo not the case.

First- the alien anthropology in this book is too shallow. The book and the missionaries themselves assume they know everything about the Runa. Apparently, the Runa are just naturally less intelligent and can’t be interacted with as humanity’s equals. But that’s exactly the wrong perspective to approach/describe/create a foreign culture. You cannot establish a hierarchy of dumb/intelligent, primitive/civilized, etc— anything which assumes the superiority of one group over the other. They’re merely different, is all, neither is better or smarter or more moral than the other. You must approach with humility, with the intent to learn, not with the assumption that they are the ignorant ones who must be taught. Because they’re the ones with the knowledge of their world’s moral and social intricacies, not you.

The vapidity of the alien worldbuilding made more sense when I learned that Russell wrote this book because she was asking herself… “What if Columbus had good intentions? What if… Europeans’ rape, pillage, murder and destruction of indigenous Americans in 1492 was good, actually??”

It was never actually about aliens. If you posit that the Runa represent the indigenous peoples of Latin America- part of a long literary tradition of equating POC with animals- the racism reveals itself. The aliens aren’t a real culture. They are a convenient symbol for indigenous people, for the questions Russell is asking herself. Russell is not actually seriously thinking about the indigenous peoples’ perspective. She’s just concerned with the missionaries. The indigenous Americans are not human to her.

Russell is clearly trying to say *something* with race in the book. Emilio is Spanish and Taino, he’s descended from the colonizer and the colonized both. He’s coming to Rakhat fully cognizant of the moral and historical implications of doing so, and he genuinely believes he can overcome that past. It’s also notable that Sofia, whose people were ousted from their homeland by the Spanish, is the crew member who resists the Jana’ata most forcefully.

But again it doesn’t work, in fact it comes across as extremely insensitive because Russell is writing from the wrong perspective. She doesn’t actually understand or empathize with colonized peoples because she still agrees with the missionaries’ goals. She fails to understand that imposing one’s own worldview, one’s own principles, on another person can be an act of violence in and of itself. So, eventually, Sofia’s rebellion just comes across as white savior-ism.

But! Despite everything I just listed, I liked this book. A lot. First, I really appreciated Russell’s writing style. It’s simple but full of clarity, and in intense moments it becomes astonishingly lyrical and poetic. I will not forget the sentence “I stood naked before God, and I was raped” for a long long time.

Secondly, the central question of the book is so fascinating. What if the principles you live by, your personal creed that saved your life and enriches your spirit and has let you do so much good, the essence of all the goodness in your soul— what if that beautiful life-saving morality became the weapon which causes unbelievable pain and destruction, for both yourself and others? What if your moral truth is wrong? What a terrifying possibility to confront. What an impossible truth to swallow. Especially when a messianic figure must ask himself that question— what are the answers except nihilism or madness?

In this way the reader’s faith is also tested. Will their belief sustain itself under this question?

Unfortunately that central question is weakened by the fact that Emilio is not approaching with pure intentions. Because Christianity and Catholicism and missionaries have an objective in mind— conversion— which inevitably corrupts their interactions with the aliens.

At the end of the book, the Father General posits that Emilio’s suffering has brought him even closer to God— that God may be that wisdom gained from disillusionment after unimaginable trials of pain. After all of one’s beliefs and morals have been stripped away, God is what is left. (The Aeschylus quote summarizes it better than I did.) That conclusion would be so much more convincing, though, if Sandoz’ mistakes hadn’t been so obvious. But because, again, Russell is writing from the wrong perspective, the Father General’s conclusion rings hollow.

The actual, accidental moral the story presents is: Please learn more about indigenous cultures and societies before forcing your own beliefs upon them. Never assume you know better than they do, refrain from action until you’ve learned as much as you can, and accept the knowledge you are given.

Also— if that is who God truly is, then why should we worship him? What is so good about God that justifies Emilio’s unimaginable suffering? There’s a frightening and deeply sinister and almost insane logic in Christianity, based on their idea of Heaven, that the end justifies all the means. (Rather than a reward for a virtuous life, it seems that the idea of Heaven became the Catholic Church’s justification of inequality and a tool to keep peasants and colonized peoples complacent.) Regardless of that digression— I disagree. There’s nothing inherently beautiful about suffering, and any faith which believes that such suffering is necessary to achieve divinity is really just desperately trying to rationalize that suffering. To say, It was worth it, because Heaven awaits. But sometimes pain is just pain. It doesn’t bring you closer or further away from God. It just is. Perhaps God lies in that realization, that acceptance, that resignation? Or is the Father General correct, and there is something in that divinity that really does justify all of Emilio’s pain?

But— even still— The Sparrow was a great first read. Wanting to know what happened, what caused Emilio’s downfall, and my mounting slithering horror as I approached closer and closer to the truth— genuinely impactful, genuinely memorable. And I really loved Emilio as a character, both before and after the mission. Russell’s writing made me feel so much compassion for him.

The flaws of this book are the same flaws inherent to Christianity and Catholicism, which is an impressively incisive achievement even if it wasn’t intentional. I don’t regret reading this book, and I will be thinking about it long after I post this review.

[witchyligea]

Testing Astrology #3: Sagittarius in the 3rd House (Influenced by Jupiter and Pluto)

I will try to give explainations just to be more critical. And if can't then it means it's incorrect.

Sagittarius in the 3rd House

1.Philosophical Communication: You are likely to approach communication with a philosophical and open-minded attitude. You enjoy discussing big ideas, theories, and beliefs.

Honestly yes, I really do. I keep bugging my friends with random questions about god, euthanasia etc.✓

2.Love of Learning: There is a strong desire to learn and explore a wide range of subjects. You might be particularly interested in subjects related to travel, culture, philosophy, and higher education.

Yes, I want to study comperative literature for this. I need that accumulation of knowledge. ✓

3.Curiosity and Adventure: You have an adventurous mind and are curious about the world. You may enjoy traveling, both physically and mentally, to expand your horizons.

Yes, I do love seeing new places. I want to travel lots of countries. ✓

4.Optimistic and Enthusiastic: Your communication style is often optimistic and enthusiastic, and you enjoy inspiring others with your ideas and stories.

I can't agree on this one. People say I am depressing. X

Score: 3✓ 1X

Jupiter in the 3rd House

1.Expansive Communication: Your communication style is broad, generous, and optimistic. You enjoy sharing knowledge and can be an inspiring speaker or writer.

Yes, I love saying fun facts and writing.✓

2.Educational Pursuits: You have a strong passion for learning and may excel in educational environments. Teaching, writing, or any form of knowledge dissemination can be fulfilling for you.

Yes I keep trying to learn things right after I stop being exhausted from school. ✓

3.Positive Sibling Relationships: Relationships with siblings and close relatives are likely positive and supportive, with a shared love of learning and exploration.

They are very loving. It would be ungrateful to say otherwise, but it makes a lot more sense when I look at Pluto. ✓

4.Frequent Travel: You may have a love for travel, particularly short trips that allow you to explore new places and ideas.

Yes, I would definitely travel more often if I didn't hate car rides. ✓

Score: 4✓

Pluto in the 3rd House

1.Intense Communication: You approach communication with depth and intensity. You are not satisfied with superficial conversations and seek to uncover hidden truths.

Yes, this is why I love writing letters. If anyone wants to be online penpals dm me. ✓

2.Transformative Learning: Learning experiences can be profound and transformative. You may go through significant intellectual growth and changes in your perspective.

Exploring polytheism and witchcraft really did change my perspective on everything. Other than that my ideas do change over time like everyone else who isn't close minded af. ✓

3.Complex Sibling Relationships: Relationships with siblings and close relatives can be intense and sometimes challenging. Power dynamics may play a significant role in these interactions.

Unfortunately yes. I can't elaborate here on this one. It's too private. ✓

4.Interest in Hidden Knowledge: You are drawn to uncovering secrets and exploring taboo or mysterious subjects. Research and investigative work can be particularly appealing.

Yeah, that's why I'm into witchy shit and I keep asking weird questions about animals and death. ✓

Score: 4✓

I had never thought my birth chart would be quite accurate. Though it might be because these are too general. After I figure out my own chart I might try random ones in random houses to see if they fit.

link to my other posts on testing astrology

[financialhacksandinsights]

Financial Hacks and Insights Entry No. 5

Crypto Investing for College Students

How Did It Begin?

It was the third trimester of my freshie year, and the campus was buzzing with excitement. Between classes and social events, my schedule was packed. Little did I know, that a casual conversation with a friend in starbucka would spark my journey into the world of cryptocurrency investing.

One rainy afternoon, I found myself sitting across from my friend Amiel, who seemed more animated than usual. As we dug into our coffees, Amiel started talking about Bitcoin and how he'd made some money from it over the summer. I had heard of Bitcoin but didn't know much about it. Amiel's enthusiasm piqued my curiosity, and I decided to dig deeper.

Diving Into the Crypto World

That night, I read articles, watched videos, and joined online forums about cryptocurrency. Terms like blockchain, Ethereum, and altcoins quickly became part of my vocabulary. The more I learned, the more fascinated I became.

One thing was clear: cryptocurrency offered a unique investment opportunity, but it was also risky. As a college student with limited funds, I had to be cautious.

Choosing a Platform

After a week of research, I decided to start small. I chose Binance, a user-friendly platform that several friends recommended. The signup process was straightforward, and soon, I had my account set up. I deposited a modest amount of money—just P1,000 to test the waters.

My First Investment

With my initial deposit, I bought a fraction of Bitcoin and a small amount of Ethereum. Watching the prices fluctuate was both thrilling and nerve-wracking. I knew the market was volatile, but experiencing it firsthand was different.

I continued to educate myself, learning about different cryptocurrencies and their potential. I diversified my portfolio by adding some altcoins, like Cardano and Chainlink, to the mix. Each investment felt like a small step into the future of finance.

Learning Through Experience

As weeks turned into months, I experienced the highs and lows of cryptocurrency investing. There were days when my investments soared, filling me with optimism. But there were also days when the market dipped, testing my patience and resolve.

One of the most valuable lessons I learned was the importance of security. I invested in a hardware wallet to store my crypto assets safely. It gave me peace of mind, knowing my investments were protected from potential hacks.

Joining the Community

Being part of the crypto community was another enriching experience. I attended online webinars, joined social media groups, and participated in discussions. It was a supportive network where I could share insights and learn from others' experiences.

The Long-Term Perspective

As I progressed through college, my approach to cryptocurrency evolved. I realized the importance of a long-term perspective. I wasn't just looking for quick gains; I was building a portfolio for the future. I continued to invest small amounts regularly, treating it as a learning journey.

Final Thoughts

Looking back, my decision to invest in cryptocurrency during college was one of the best choices I made. It taught me valuable financial skills, introduced me to new technologies, and opened up a world of opportunities. While the journey had its ups and downs, the knowledge and experience I gained were priceless.

If you're a college student considering investing in cryptocurrency, my advice is to start small, stay informed, and be patient. It's a thrilling ride, but with the right approach, it can also be a rewarding one. Happy investing!

References:

The Swedish Investor.2022.https://youtu.be/l7cc-nLKaqc?si=jS_AacbKL3Rt1OBK

Garnett, A.G.2024.https://www.investopedia.com/investing-in-cryptocurrency-5215269

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary242

5/16-17/24

thursday - friday

closing 2morrow.

i watched this:

really incredible i think. feels like a bizarre, ecstatic investigation of the medical-scientific apparatuses that have produced our current world. it's perhaps less critical than that, and it differs from say tetsuo and pinnochio 964 in that it, rather than using technology and mutation as a poetics/clusters of metaphors for a life against the normal, it seems to put technology on both sides, as producing experiments and tests which will go on to enforce the norm. from this perspective it seems more critical, although its motives are blurry, in truth, i think what is really exciting in it is that it keeps the potential for being an outsider, and for experiencing excitement, in the realm of not being mutated physically but being posed against the forces which seek to experiment and expand knowledge. the boys produce interpretations, this is different from the task of science, they claim they are already dead, they are self-possessed corpses who travel the logics that inscribe/write (write is important here, they are descending from texts that inform them, and from there they too might find a path in which to go astray), and eventually counter those logics with interpretive acts.

it is also extremely angura, a really interesting thing was happening with the early jp cyberpunk film stuff. i like how informed this one is by theater, since it is a play put to film i guess that's not surprising but it is shot incredibly well for that kinda thing.

something so fascinating about how the protagonists express their violence, the fighting with one another at the start.

i was thinking earlier, i wonder if a lot of the very interesting cyberpunk anime i've seen owes more to this kind of outre and avant garde stuff than anyone really thinks to talk about. i mean, i think so, seeing tetsuo is enough in some ways, however i think there's more to it than that. in some ways the psychotic set design in this film here recalls like, lain's cyberspace. there is something liberating to me about knowing that these levels of abstraction really can be reached anywhere as long as one tries. poor lighting, willful digitalism and odd use of greenscreens, the non-space created here, suggesting nothing but offering a space for the actors to really move, climb, struggle, yes, it is the struggling, the grappling with themselves is constant. that is something lost in lain, easily. something that shows like texhnolyze try and approach. but ultimately, right now, this kind of thing produced on film has a more pointed set of politics. malice@doll, maybe, retains some of that though i am not sure. chiaki j konaka is too spiritual at times. this is lovely and beautiful, as are the other things i've been seeing recently (soon i need to get to rubber's lover (always on the mind... gerorisuto)), for the fact of the body, engagement with it, knowing one can't turn back from it and that the body is a warzone of utilities pointed against the act of living, a set of measures against the body to make one always know oneself, and so on. it's not that most anime fails there, it's just some of the stuff lots of people talk about. it's odd.

shoujo, in my experience, with the elongated bodies and so on, seems to express the body better in ways. the eyes as a whole atmosphere one is lost it. that is physical, to the point of horror, but a lovely horror, lost in another's eyes, lost in my own eyes, what they see, the reflection without occupant, the mirror capturing the act of mirroring (here lispector's writing on mirrors in agua viva is coming to me oddly).

anyway, this musing is fun but i want to save this kind of energy for actual writing which i am perpetually too exhausted for right now but i have a good opportunity, i need to send some stuff to my friend for that.

today, i also worked on like...3 songs. 10 done now. i really do think "done". one of the songs was really rough though!!! ableton kept crashing, i think that one's fine. i really don't know if that one can really even be worked on atm. we'll see though, it's been worked on enough probably.

listening to peggy march's i will follow him right now. i think i need to watch scorpio rising again soon. i love that movie. i love anger, kenneth, anger.

gosh, what a song and film.

i think soon i'll watch this:

glad this channel has a film from korea, this one seems pretty interesting, i like giant factories.

thinking of movies with giant buildings absorbing, or feeling like they absorb whole places people lived, i am reminded of hakuchi the innocent, which is based on an ango sakaguchi story, as far as i know a lot of his work is still untranslated, which is sad, because that movie makes him seem extremely interesting. i need to rewatch it. it comes back to my mind a lot, i think it's maybe one of my favorite looking movies ever and deals w/ japan's horrific position in ww2 and its attempts to sanitize itself kind of, at least in an off-side kind of way.

but it really is insanely beautiful looking, for something from 1999, it feels like one of the most intense grapplings w/ showa era aesthetics and efforts to update them and contend with what they can mean, in that way it really reminds me of a lot of ero-guro art and ofc angura, but in particular suehiro maruo comes to mind, especially the ww2 and japanese nationalism angles, i wonder if the story the movie adapts was something he ever read (probably, i think sakaguchi is on similar footing to kenzaburo oe, who is talked about besides dazai at times)

maybe one of the most insane uses cg ever, just so totally amazing. the movie really does come to mind a lot, so i guess that means it means a lot to me but the first time i saw it, honestly, i had no idea how to feel. but it keeps coming to mind, all these years later, so it i guess really has a ton going on.

i should see what else makoto tezuka has done, always crazy to me that he did something as crazy as that movie.

i watched this before bed:

funny, i think. cute in a way too, it really does feel like a hokey 70s anime which i like a lot.

anyway, i need to sleep now, i go to work late tomorrow so i think i may sleep in a bit tomorrow but whooo knowssss.

looking forward to getting more mixing done too, 1/3rd of the way through already basically, that is really good i think. still need to figure out cover art and stuff... or like, get started. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. one thing at a time i guess.

so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[northropi]

this is terrible advice for anything except in retrospect, and even then i don't even know how right i really am, but i probably should have dropped out earlier. i'm probably gonna have to start making loan payments soon and frankly the job i have, which is pretty nice, seems like one i could have gotten on community college education- and meanwhile embracing my "get a real job" mentality during that time has kind of fucked me over royally. now that i'm not quite stable but getting there, art is sort of all i have emotionally, and, well, yeah i'm sorta in the worst art mood i have been in for a long time.

it doesn't help that we're sort of in a new generation of prodigies who are often too young to even be able to view the stuff i post, picking up modeling and code from an actual early age. yeah the TikTok ten-videos-at-once thing seems dystopian but frankly the kids are alright and i'm left envying that.

i have no portfolio. everything i've done outside of the last four years has been pen-and-paper sketches. while, like, yeah, valid, go traditional artists 'n' all, getting those online would be prohibitively complicated. Page after page to scan, page after page that's been rubbing together for years in a cheap sketchbook, my already faint linework rubbing away, eroding into nothing. so much must already be just lost to time. and in those four years, what have i done? not fucking much. Haven't been able to find the time, and when I find a bit I can't apply myself.

everything i do has an entirely different workflow as i try again and again to get somewhere fucking functional, and i've become acutely aware of how drawing for establishing concepts rather than for scenes and characters has left me with, and say that i'm good at <x> all you want it doesn't change the fact that i'm not good at <y> and <y> just so happens to be really fucking important, an extremely unbalanced skillset. i can't really draw the same thing twice- every drawing of a given character looks like a different fucking character. my perspective is wonky, and after that first attempt i don't know if i'll ever be able to do animation. and somehow i still have sameface issues!

writing dialogue comes out fucky because i can't make a character naturally sound like anything but myself, i don't know how basic shit like speech bubbles should look, there are huge gaps in my knowledge of the software, and, just, why was i not doing what i'm doing now seven years ago? fuck, why wasn't i on this site? i'd have been bopped by the porn ban probably but it'd have been good to have my foot in the door- i know i had a phase where i was all "ewww Tumblr" but i was never that bad.

i've often expressed when asked about how i think of my life that i've spent it. not doing things but on things. that it was consumed and given away in a transaction in hopes that i could start it later-but-better. and for all that life i spent, i was explicitly promised that the next phase of it would be easier. that really high school was harder than college and it was all just to test you, that the laid-back pace of university would be easier than my college once i transferred, and that jobs would be so easy to come by after university and so laid back that my life would be a breeze. each time was a lie- well, maybe it'd have gone better if i could have finished uni, but somehow i doubt that it'd fix my free time issue.

it was five years, and i proceeded to spend an additional two rotting at home. imagine if i spent those with some friends nearby, someone i could move out with on a basic job. nope. never made any. imagine if i had spent the years of unemployment at least being able to work on things- but no, i was being prodded at to get a job even in spite of diminishing returns, kept under so much stress that even on days where i had done my due diligence i couldn't focus. now i have a job, and it's devouring my time with the drive to get there and back, and this isn't even full hours yet. can't find the focus or time to get art done- but at least my high WPM and depressive episodes mean i can get bursts of writing done and look like a sadsack to the rest of the world, huzzah.

every day it becomes easier to look at something i admire and compare myself to it, but harder to learn from it. it's like i was born yesterday with nothing but snippets of trivia to my name- enough to let me fake it halfway through a Mechanical Engineering degree. and, yet, i feel old. i don't know how else to describe it. past my prime, like my brain isn't able to wire in new habits and like my time to work with what i have is sorely finite. i keep asking myself if life sorta just sucks- if anyone is able to really do anything off the clock or if all these people i want to be like are some privileged few blessed with more time than us dregs. and as for practice, hoooh boy, did i mention the family predisposition to dementia? how i suspect even my mother has succumbed to it at some point in her conspiracy rabbithole between the ages of 30 and 50? plus my liver being funny? the hole in my brain that's just fucking there? yeah i give myself until 50, and gonna be 26 in a month, so, shit, dude, at this rate, how much art can i do in my life? like being generous i'm halfway good, and it seems like i might be halfway dead, so doing the math i don't have a ton of hope.

at what point do i stop being stubborn and just comm someone better than me to do everything fuck

Anyways, yeah, like, between the stuff I took on in High School and higher education, that's, like, a decade of my life just... Poof. Gone. And now it's... maybe some background help I should be grateful for? But right now it feels like it wasn't fucking worth it. I could have made something. I could have really... Made something. Something not exactly real, but something good.

Do you know how deluded I was in that engineering phase? I thought I'd be designing planes just as casually as I drew them. I was aware on some level that I wasn't that good, but that lie of being gifted, it strung me along into thinking that, with enough training, I'd get there, because that's totally how the aerospace industry works. Oh, and working for fucking LockMart or some shit? No moral qualms there. Just like Gramps, the one you never knew because even your abusive mom considers him abusive, who worked on the T-28's ejector seat (a specific part of a modification to a preexisting design and he didn't even do that alone and yet your dumbass was just like "yeah I'll just build a plane from a sketch every week," you fucking megalomaniac), and then died in his house with his dog that always puked every time you saw it only like 10% lucid some months after threatening his social worker at gunpoint- yeah he's one of the dementia points btw.

You know how I feel? You know, like, shows, right, movies where the character isn't having a great time so they see a vision and it's like "wow glad that's not me!" It feels like there's some version of me out there that's, you know, starving artist, poor, wondering if she made the right choices, and she's looking at me right now, like, still pretty poor, but also fucking miserable and probably not gonna be remembered after she's gone, and looking at the genie or whatever the shit that brought her in like "wow! I appreciate my life much more now! Clearly artistic pursuits are worth pursuing over job security, even within the crushing confines of the capitalist system!" And like, Djinn, buddy, like, it's been 25 years in this weird AU you made to prove a point, doesn't feel like it sometimes, but can you do me a favor and just sort of merge this timeline back into that one so I don't have to see this through? Or, like, are you gonna show her my neglected, crumbling headstone too to really drive the point home?

Or maybe this is the good timeline, but that just raises further, darker questions.

...

I kinda want to believe I made the wrong choice, really.