#it was fucking slippery and it was windy

[teddybeartoji]

😐

[grunge-mermaid]

Mika- Apocalypse Calypso lyric video

[azmenka]

is2g every time I re-read up on Pyke I get a spontaneous eye twitch. this whole castle is just so . . . so much obvious proof that the Greyjoys are simply insane.

hear me out.

imagine one big castle, like huge, that once stood on one solid cliff right by the sea. perfectly fine, perfectly safe. but over time, that cliff eroded and started to fall apart and simply took parts of the castle down with it, bit by bit. just pieces and walls and towers randomly dropping into the sea over the centuries. until what is left, essentially, are three massive pillars jutting out of the sea, and a few little spikes surrounding those three main pillars. and the bits of castle left are still inhabited, despite the possibility of those at some point just falling into the sea, too.

now if there's a smaller distance between all the single little and larger pillars, these idiots built archways between the pillars. if the distance was a little bigger, the Greyjoys just gave a shrug and built rope bridges instead. you know. made from wooden planks and rope. dangling hundreds of feet above the cliffs and the sea crashing into those partially very unsteady pillars. planks that get slippery in the rain and sway when it's windy. which it always is, around Pyke. and these absolute madmen looked at that and went "yeah. yeah, that'll do."

you have a part of the castle on the headland which, nonsensically, is surrounded by a curtain wall as if anyone else was mad enough to try and get into that castle, and you'd think that the reasonable thing would be for those fucks to live in that particular part of the castle but no. that, of course, is where they keep the animals. the people live out on those wonky af pillars. one pillar for the main house. one for the kitchen. one for the guests. ( what guests, you wonder? yeah. me too. )

the Great Keep is where the Greyjoys themselves hunker down and it's also where the Great Hall with the Seastone Chair in it is located. the Kitchen Keep is the one furthest out because why create a safe work environment for the house staff. the keep for the guests ofc has the very inviting name Bloody Keep. and people wonder why the Greyjoy kids never had friends there for sleepovers . . . last but not least, you have the Gatehouse, which makes no sense whatsoever cos there is no fucking gate to begin with, but that one comes with three more, smaller pillars which are all sporting very high walls arranged in a half moon. each one of those pillars has it's own little tower, too. one of those towers looks surprisingly new, because that is the tower that was rebuilt after it collapsed right under Maron's ass during the rebellion.

so . . . in case anyone still has doubts that the Greyjoys are definitely collectively insane: just sail past Pyke and have a look at that castle. that tells you everything you need to know about those people.

[heavenly-delusions]

Whoever thought of adding gaps in these already windy+slippery ice paths need to fucking die immediately. Drop dead rn. Im putting curse on you and your family as im typing this.

[delphiniumarchangelmoon]

The intersections between different neurodivergencies are just. So.

I have to keep my door closed to sleep (in case the house spontaneously catches fire) (but also as a kid I sleep-talked a lot and what if I like come out to my dad in my sleep cause I have gayass dreams and he wakes up at like 4 to ho to work) (plus it’s just weird like. No, I’m not leaving my door open while I’m unconscious that sounds like serial killer behavior)

And I need the window opened a little bit even if it’s really cold (in case of carbon monoxide, obviously) (can you tell I have an anxiety disorder?)

(The only way to my second floor window is to climb a freak and loud set of stairs then jump three feet to a slippery and even louder metal roof and once you fo that it’s a 50/50 shot whether they go for my room or my moms and I can shove a man off the roof but I can’t shove a poisonous gas.)

And I always have my ceiling fan on because not having moving air around me stresses me out (that one is a long story revolving bees and my various coping mechanisms for dealing with my fear of them from ptsd. Long story short for a long time the only way I felt safe outside was if it was incredibly windy because it blocked out the sound of bugs buzzing)

But that makes my room really cold so i need like seven blankets + bonus points for essentially being the “we have weighted blanket at home”

And things keep getting lost in my blankets and randomly poking me when I’m trying to sleep

And I need to make sure I changed my phone before I go to bed because the charger is plugged into a surge protector that’s strapped to the back of my headboard and I can just barely hear the electricity cause we’re double dipping with the adhd too

and sometimes in the depths of insomnia I feel like it’s gonna explode even though there’s no good reason for it to do that and it’s literally designed to prevent that from happening but that doesn’t matter in my brain so I need to turn it off to sleep which I’m sure is better for me and the equipment anyway I’m sure that charging your phone for ten hours isn’t good for it especially in your bed.

And I’ll set alarms literally every time I close my eyes with intent to sleep because once in a blue moon I get like, reverse sleep paralysis shit where I know I’m asleep and can’t open my fucking eyes and then I get those “wake up in a dream over and over” fuvking things and it’s DOGSHIT and I wake up feeling MORE TIRED so now I can’t fall asleep unless I either set an alarm or a timer because 9/10 times it’s fine but if I get caught with my pants down that 10th time I’m literally held hostage by my own subconscious

[z-h-i-e]

I live in a place that is snow-coded, and I find the two situations are not in conflict.

When it snows here and gets very cold and windy, I can walk on top of the glazed snow without sinking in. I can even walk on top of it with my dog. However, if I try that plus husband, it will sink in at least a little. But there’s solid ground underneath, so if it is below a certain temperature, it will compact but still won’t sink. We had one winter where we were about four feet in on the snow and another storm hit, so I climbed on top of the frozen drifts to shovel some of it further into the yard because the snow blower could not throw it higher. Felt very elfy that day (but also cold). Legolas would totally prance across this shit.

I take the Helcaraxe as being over water in many places, and it’s a host of people with all the things they brought (looking at you with all those jewels Finrod). The movement is warming up the ice, it’s cracking (you don’t call it grinding ice if it’s solid many feet down), and shifting, and ice is slippery to walk on. I’ve slid on snow a few times and it’s unpleasant but I stay upright, but I have fallen on my ass and hurt myself on ice. I’ve fallen on ice and had to crawl back to a door or a car to get assistance getting up. I can handle a fair amount of snow. It’s a big fuck you from me to ice.

Because the scenarios are so different, and experiences I’ve had with both, I have never questioned that these two things happen in the same world. I can see how someone not intimate with cold weather would have questions.

Wait, how is it that Legolas could walk over snow, yet fingolfin’s host had elves that fell through the ice when they were walking on the grinding ice?

And don’t say “magic” because i’m asking why it’s not consistent. Either elves are light enough or something to not fall into snow, much less ice, or they are heavy enough to fall through snow/ice.

I don’t care about the explanation, but it has to be either/or, or there needs to be a specific reason why one does work and the other doesn’t.

[g4rchomp]

Im at a friend's house taking care of her cat while she's away and it is pooooourrrring rain outside and I have to come home by bike 😕 the meteo says it won't stop raining until tomorrow morning...

^ the beast btw

[theflyingfeeling]

Well now I'd be very interested to hear more about the "human falls in love with a merman" AU 😳

As you wish 😇🧜‍♂️

ping @chaoslaura !

Something's always attracted Joonas to the sea. His mother used to say it's because he has oceans in his eyes, that "birds of a feather flock together". She never mentions Joonas' father, who was lost at sea when Joonas was just a boy. Nevertheless, not a week goes by that he doesn't go sit by the seashore after his studies at the university, either on a bench by the jogging track or, if the weather allows it, on the nearby cliff with a perfect view to the horizon.

It's a rainy, windy evening in October when Joonas feels exceptionally drawn to the deep blue. Perhaps he missed his father particularly hard that day.

He sits on the cliff and lets the rain whip his face. Although the weather is not the most enjoyable, he feels a certain kind of calmness there, listening to the waves hit the rocks on the shore powerfully, almost violently.

Cursing, on the other hand, is a sound Joonas has never heard the sea make before, until he hears a muffled fuck through all the splashing and roiling.

The displeased grumbling goes on until Joonas looks down and sees a man, completely topless, squirming by the sharp, pointy rocks. Joonas has always thought ice swimming is a bit extreme, but to go for a dive during an autumn storm? One had to be a special kind of lunatic.

"Excuse me?" Joonas calls out to the man, who looks up at him. "Are you alright?"

The man's brown hair swayed in the wind as he ignored Joonas' question and started squiming even more frantically.

"Are you stuck or something?"

There was more squirming and angry swearing, but no answer. Joonas rolled his eyes and already started walking away, about to leave the man to his own devices, since he apparently wasn't receptive to help. However, something made him turn back. Was it sense of responsibility? Curiosity? Fate? Years later, Joonas will still wonder about his motives that night.

The lights of the city behind him provide just enough guidance for Joonas to find the small path that leads to the shore. Once there, the continues his way to the man by using the slippery rocks as his stepping stones and the almost full moon as the equivalent for a flashlight, his phone being in the tote bag he left up on the cliff.

"I'm almost there, buddy," Joonas says to the man as he gets closer. The man sees this as his que to start wiggling in between the rocks comically fast, until he cries out another loud fuck and stops moving altogether.

"Hang in there!" Joonas yells at him and almost slips into the water himself on his next step.

When he's close enough to see the man's facial features, he's momentarily blinded by the man's beauty: even in the dark Joonas can see the man's incredibly green eyes and high cheekbones, and although the rain has dampened the man's wavy hair, it's still glowing with shades of golden brown. Joonas swallows as his eyes travel over the man's bare chest, his nipples hardened by the cold, until they stop at his hips that seem to disappear in the darkness.

"Got yourself in a bit of a situation here, eh? Are you hurt?"

The man grits his teeth and makes another attempt to free himself but winces immediately after.

"Alright, let's get you out of there. Can you move your legs?"

The man sighs and shakes his head.

"Oh. Umm, can you...feel your legs?" Joonas has heard all sorts of horror stories of people diving down to a water they were not familiar with and getting themselves paralyzed - or worse - when they hit underwater rocks. He sure wouldn't wish a fate like that to anyone, not eaven this uncooperative stranger.

"I don't have legs." Joonas jumps at the sudden words.

"Ah," he says, hoping to sound like he has a clue of how that has come to be. He looks around to find a wheelchair, a raft, or even a pair of prostetic legs floating on the water, basically anything that might have been of aid in getting the stranger where he is now.

"So...wha-...how...huh?" Joonas tilts his head.

"I'll be fine, just go," the man says quietly with a frown on his face as he twists his torso one more time.

"And leave you here? No chance, buddy. Here, grab my hand." Joonas reaches his hand towards the man, who just stares at it coldly.

"Or not..." Joonas says sarcastically, raising his eyebrows. The stranger starts moving his body again, crunching his face in obvious pain.

"Pretty sure that'll only make matters worse, my friend."

The man sighs heavily and seems to think for a few seconds, staring blankly ahead, until he reaches his hand for Joonas to grasp. Joonas pulls him by his hand while he assists by pushing himself up with his other hand, and suddenly the man is freed and falling on top of Joonas as he slips on his back on the large rock he's standing on, his hand still firmly holding the stranger's.

They lie there chest-by-chest, eye-to-eye, panting slighty. Up close, the man looks even lovelier.

"Hi there," Joonas chuckles. "I'm Joonas."

"Niko."

"Pleasure," Joonas can't help but smirk, which is enough for the man to blink out of Joonas' gaze and get off him. It's when Joonas sits up that he notices what the whole "no legs" situation is all about: instead of limbs, Niko is sporting a shiny black fish tail in his lower body.

"Woah," he yelps. Niko looks away and wraps his arms around his own bare torso. When Joonas squints his eyes to inspect the tail better, he realises it's a little oddly shaped, as if dislocated. That would explain why Niko hasn't yet made his escape.

"You can't swim with that, can you?"

Niko shakes his head and shivers.

"Can I do something for you?"

"It'll fix itself in a couple of days."

"Right," Joonas nods. Although a biology major, his knowledge on marine animal anatomy isn't sufficient enough for him to argue. "You better stay here in this cove until then, I guess." It doesn't seem appropriate to ask how Niko ended up stuck between the rocks in the first place.

"Suppose," Niko agrees grimly, still looking away.

"Ummm," Joonas scratches the back of his neck, "if there's anything you need..." He wants to help, but he has no idea whatsoever of what the basic needs of a merman might be.

When Niko doesn't voice any requests, Joonas shurgs and stands up, careful not to let his boots slide on the slimy rock.

"Well. Take care?"

He gives Niko one more chance to say something before turning his back to the man.

"I..." he hears Niko finally say.

"Yeah?" Joonas asks and turns to look at Niko. He's no longer staring at the opposite direction, but is still avoiding Joonas' gaze.

"I'd like to have some...plums."

"Plums?"

"Yes." Niko looks down in the water. "I once lived in a place where there was a plum tree growing near the water." Joonas hears a sniffle. "I miss the taste."

"Alright," Joonas nods enthusiastically. "Yeah, I can bring you plums, no worries. I mean, I have to go home first and it's- it's kinda late, but-"

"You'll be back tomorrow?"

Niko's eyes, full of fury and furstration just a moment ago, are now filled with something more sombre, a sort of yearning perhaps.

"I will," Joonas promises. Niko nods and looks away again.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joonas doesn't know why he's going back to the cove; the whole encounter from the night before feels so surreal now that he has slept on it, and he's almost convinced it was just some sort of stress-induced dream. There will be no merman with a black tail and green eyes waiting for him in the cove, and Joonas will look like a right idiot when he falls in the water looking for him, holding a tiny plastic bag full of plums he hand-picked from the supermarket, making sure to find the juiciest ones, even though he knew it was in vain.

But then Joonas sees him, sitting on the rock where they met yesterday, looking at the open sea in front of him. He doesn't flinch when Joonas sits next to him, as if he hasn't even noticed his arrival.

"Here," Joonas says and passes the bag of plums to him. "I hope they're the right kind."

The green eyes avert from the horizon to the fruits Joonas' is waving in front of him, and maybe Joonas imagines it, but he thinks he sees a smile on the creature's lips.

He takes the bag from Joonas carefully, like handling a lost treasure, and takes one in his hand, inspecting it closely.

"I washed them, by the way," Joonas tells him. "The plums from your tree may have been pristine, but you don't wanna know how many mitts have touched the one you're holding now."

Undisturbed by the mental image Joonas implies with his words, Niko brings the fruit to his mouth and bites it. His eyes close as he chews the pulp, like it's the most divine nectar he's ever tasted, when in reality it's just a common plum, costing less than one euro per kilo.

"Thank you," Niko says when he's finished. "For these. And for helping me last night. I realise I may have seemed ungrateful."

Joonas snorts at the confession. "To put it nicely. But you're welcome."

"Is there any way I can repay your kindess?" Niko asks as he takes another plum from the bag.

Again, Joonas is not entirely sure of what kinds of wishes mermen are able grant, so he doesn't know how to respond. He shrugs and shakes his head.

"Nothing? At all? Come on, there must be something your heart desires."

Joonas laughs shortly, because there's a lot his heart desires, in fact.

"Nothing you can help me with, I'm afraid. But thanks."

"You'd be surprised," Niko hums and takes another bite.

Silently, Joonas observes Niko as he eats, not caring if he seems creepy by doing so. The unnatural angle of Niko's tail is still there, although not as painful-looking as yesterday. Joonas wonders what sorts of depths Niko has swam to with that tail of his.

"What's it like there?" he asks before he can stop himself.

"Like where?"

"There," Joonas nods towards the roaming sea. Niko appears to be thinking for a while, licking his lips before answering.

"It's wet."

A corner of his lips is tugging upwards.

"You've waited your whole life to make that joke, haven't you," Joonas notes, struggling not to burst into laughter himself.

"Works like a charm each time," Niko lifts his eyebrow at Joonas and bites into his third plum.

"Oh yeah? You get a lot of merchicks with maritime puns?"

"Yeah," Niko smiles proudly. "And merguys."

"Oh!" Oh? "Well. Good to know."

An awkward silence follows, before Joonas returns to his original inquiry.

"So really, what's life like in the deep blue sea, besides being watery?"

Joonas has to wait until Niko's done sucking the pulp around the pit of the fruit before he's granted a serious answer.

"It's...hard to describe. It can be dark in places, but there's also light if you know where to look." Joonas tries his best to imagine what that must be like. "And sometimes you feel like nothing's happening and before you know it, everything is happening all at once and it can...mess with your head, if you let it. It can be warm and freezing, quiet and noisy at the same time. I don't know if that makes any sense."

"Noisy?" Joonas chuckles, "Why, do the whales keep you awake at night?"

Niko laughs briefly before turning grave all of a sudden. "Well, the whales can be kinda loud" he says, "but mostly it's the screams of the perished that disturb my sleep."

Joonas' eyebrows shoot up.

"The what now?"

"You haven't heard the stories?"

"What stories?"

"Of people who die at sea, getting trapped in the waves forever."

Blood escapes from Joonas' face. Niko takes another plum, but instead of eating it, he just admires in, smoothing its skin with his thumb.

"If they are lucky, they'll eventually be given a new life as merfolk," he continues.

"And if they're not?" Joonas whispers his question. He doesn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed when Niko doesn't give him one. This knowledge is hugely unsettling to Joonas, and he can't keep his thoughts from wandering to his poor father, of whom (and whose boat) no one has heard of in years.

"Have you...nevermind," Joonas shakes the desperate idea from his head.

"Have I what?"

"Have you ever met one?" he blurts out. Niko turns to look directly at him, for the first time since he arrived, squinting his eyes slightly.

"Have I ever met one in general? Or is there someone in particular you're wondering about."

Joonas says nothing, and that seems to be enough of an answer to Niko.

"Who?"

"My father."

Niko keeps holding his gaze for longer than he ever has so far, until he suddenly looks down at his hands again.

"No."

Joonas doesn't know what he was expecting. What Niko has just told him is probably just another twisted, nautical pick-up line anyway; Joonas can barely understand that he's currently having a full converstation with someone who appears to be a merman, so it's not like he actually believes his father is down there somewhere too, continuing his life as the servant of Poseidon or whatever.

He feels a lump climb up his throat, and a helpless urge to go to his mother's house and hug her takes over him.

"I gotta go," Joonas says and wipes something hot off his cheek. "Enjoy the plums."

"Will you come again tomorrow?" Niko asks, but Joonas doesn't answer, afraid his voice might turn into a sob.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He does go back the next day, with more plums (yellow ones this time), and is now watching Niko eat them with great appetite.

"How's your tail?" he asks.

"Better," Niko nods. "Went for a little test swim today. I think I'll be ready to swim distance again soon."

"Good," Joonas replies, although he's not ready to let go of his strange new acquaintance just yet. There's still a lot more he wants to know.

"What do you eat, usually? When plums are not on option."

"It's best you don't know," Niko answers, and Joonas raises his eyebrows. He doesn't know what to make of that, but leaves it be.

The next day he brings Niko nectarines because the plums in his local grocery store had lost their freshness. Niko eyes the fruit sceptically before melting in to a series of approving hums as he sinks his teeth on it, making Joonas smile contently.

They don't talk much, the knowledge they'll soon depart and never see each other again lying heavy on them. Instead, Joonas makes use of the time to admire Niko some more, his fair features being a sight he would never get tired of. He still remembers the softness of Niko's hand from the other night when he helped him out of his distress and desperately wants to feel it again. As if with a will of his own, he lifts his hand to touch Niko's cheek, sweeping off a droplet of peach juice.

Niko's eyes lock with his, and Joonas removes his hand hastily.

"Sorry. Didn't mean to-"

He doesn't get to finish his apology, his lips being blocked by Niko's. Later, when Joonas will reminisce the kiss, he will realise it lasted only a few seconds, although in that moment it felt like an eternity. But even years after, he will remember the taste of Niko's mouth, a mix of peach and sea salt, and the roughness of his lips against his own.

They break apart, loss at words, but maybe there is no need for them anyway.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"How do you feel about apricots? They're kinda like peaches but smaller," Joonas ask him and drops the bag on Niko's lap and sits next to him.

"I'd rather have this," Niko answers and grabs the front of Joonas' jacket, crashing their mouths together. It has been like this for the past few days: Joonas bringing him a new bag of loose fruit to taste, just for them to be neglected on the rocks as their lips find one another. The wind from the sea is getting colder by the day, but in Niko's embrace Joonas feels warm and content, his mind travelling to a faraway place where nectarines grow in the wild. Each time they get more daring, nibbling on the other one's lip or sucking on the other's neck, and they were thankful for the sea for hiding their giggles and moans under its roaming.

Joonas knows that by now Niko's tail is completely healed, and that he will soon be gone from his life for good. Perhaps that's why the kisses feel particularly needy that day.

"I have something for you," Niko says one's their mouth are apart enough for them to speak.

Then he puts something cold in Joonas' hand.

"What's thi-" he begins, but the sounds get stuck in his throat when he realises what he's looking at: a golden watch, exactly like the one his father used to wear every day after Joonas and his mother gave it to him on his fortieth birthday. Its hands were no longer ticking, having stopped at quarter past twelve, and Joonas' hands shake as he turns the watch to see the back of the clock face, afraid of what he might find there.

His worst fears come true when he reads the initials J.P. in decorative cursive, just how he and his mother had requested at the clocksmith's all those years ago.

The air on the seashore is frisk, but Joonas feels hard to breath.

"Where did you get this?" he asks, his voice but a whisper.

"I can show you."

Blue eyes find emerald green ones.

"I can take you to him."

Joonas knows he should listen to his common sense, but unfortunately he's never been good at that.

"How?" he asks instead, tears burning the rims of his eyes.

"Come back tomorrow at twelve. At full moon."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Joonas can barely hold back his sobs as he says goodbye to his mother on the phone, not knowing when he'd hear it again, if ever. With a shaky hand he writes an explanation of some sort on a piece of paper before wiping his tears and walking out of his apartment, heading to the seashore.

He can see Niko in the water already, his head bobbing up and down in the waves like a buoy. The full moon seems to reflect its glow directly on Niko, making his hair appear exceptionally golden.

The water is freezing, which is why the warmth of Niko's body against his as they kiss feels even more intoxicating. The ocean truly was a world of opposites and contrast, as Niko had tried to explain earlier.

"Are you ready?" Niko asks against his mouth.

Joonas isn't, but finds himself nodding anyway. He needs to know, needs to be sure.

"Come," Niko leads them ahead and Joonas clutches the hand in his tightly, almost crushing the bones inside it, if merfolk even had bones the way humans did. Once the water reaches the base of their necks, Niko puts his hands on Joonas' shoulders.

"Close your eyes," he orders, and Joonas does as he's told. He's come too far to back down anymore.

In the next moment he feels Niko's mouth on his, and in the one after that, Niko's hands push him underwater, the kiss never breaking.

The coldness is somehow more bearable under the surface, but still Joonas feels like thousands of needles are puncturing him all over his body. The only part of him not in immense pain is his neck where Niko's hands are now resting, holding him still as their mouths move together.

Suddenly, Joonas' mouth is empty of Niko's tongue, and then it is filled with salty seawater.

Joonas opens his eyes and can just barely make out Niko's figure in the dark water, trying to find his gaze that would reassure him it's all going to be alright. Only then he notices Niko's hands have shifted back to Joonas' shoulders, pushing down with surprising force.

Panic starts rising in his chest and he tries to shrugh the hands off, but Niko doesn't move. Next he lets out a yelp that bursts in bubbles and does nothing but free his lungs of already scarce oxygen. A few more neverending seconds pass, Niko's figure in front of him getting blurrier and blurrier. Then a pressure starts building up in his head, and added together with the burning of his lungs, Joonas knows he doesn't have long.

He closes his eyes again and sees his mother, entering his apartment with the police, finding the note he has left. He hears his mother's cries, and the chimes of the church bells.

He opens his mouth and inhales, and all of that becomes as hazy as Niko's figure.

Just a few seconds more, and he wouldn't have even registered the hands leaving his shoulders and grabbing him under his armpits instead, lifting him up.

The pain in his lungs when they were filled with water felt somehow less painful than coughing it back up, combined with the wind punching his face and chest, as Niko holds him above the surface.

"I'm sorry," he hears Niko's voice breaking down. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I lied."

"About what?" Joonas asks with a hoarse voice.

"I don't know about your father," is Niko's answer. "I'm so sorry." Niko's face is wet, from seawater or tears, it was hard to tell.

"But-"

"I'm sorry," he whispers yet again, removing his hands from Joonas as he backs away, teary eyes staring into his.

Joonas' eyes follow him as far as they can see, until all he's looking at is the almighty sea, its surface smooth as glass all of a sudden, for the first time since that night he had first helped a legless stranger from despair.

He never showed his mother the watch Niko had given him, and he only ever ate plums again when it was particularly stormy in October. Sometimes, when his feelings got the better of him (call it longing or stupidity), he would go to his local grocery store, buy assorted exotic fruits, and leave them on a rock by the seashore. Maybe the waves washed them off, or maybe some wild animals made better use of them, but they were gone each time Joonas went to look the next day.

[deepdarkdelights]

10 Days (Jungkook x Reader)(10 Seconds Pt 2)

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Word Count: 7.9k

Warnings: Yandere, Stalking, Obsession, Non-Consensual touching (This becomes intense, if this is triggering for you please do not read), Kidnapping, Hard Manipulation, Mentions of past abuse/torture, Brainwashing, Blood

I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 

Preview: There he was, the monster that you knew had been hiding behind that sweet face. Jungkook had several personas, the domineering kidnapper, the dotting boyfriend, and the whiny child. This was the one you had been waiting to see, the one that had violently slammed your head into the hood of your car that night. The one that had drugged you and zip tied you in the back of his car. He was always there, just sitting beneath the surface waiting to come and get you.

Read Part One Here Read Part Three Here 

You had never felt more hopeless in your entire life. It felt like your energy had been completely drained from your body. His parents still stood by the door, talking amicably with their son. His mother practically had stars in her eyes as she was nestled close into her husband’s hold. Nothing scared you more than the thought of being in her place one day. Chills of disgust rolled down your spine as you imagined yourself and Jungkook together like that. His arm curled around your shoulder as you came home to your son, hanging for dear life onto a terrified girl, her eyes wide and brimming with tears begging for help. Is that what your life would be like? Would you too fall victim to your captor like she had? Would the cycle continue and for how long had it been happening in Jungkook’s family?

Your heart thudded in your chest as your eyes zeroed in on the door behind his parents. Could you make a run for it? Could you get away from him if you tried now? Or would that be your death sentence? You were undoubtedly outnumbered, but his parents were on the older side and it would be much harder for them to run after you. It was just Jungkook you had to worry about, his mother seemed harmless and his father was too caught up in his wife. Maybe you could do it, when would you ever find a chance like this again? They hadn’t even locked the door! 

Your grip on Jungkook’s shirt began to loosen as your gaze was pinned to the door that was lightly swinging open with the breeze. You could do it.

“(Y/N).” Never mind, you couldn’t do it. 

“Baby, I need you to listen to me. I know you’re anxious right now but I need you to be a good girl, okay?” Jungkook asked, turning around to cradle your face. 

You nodded your head in compliance as his hand slipped away from your face to cradle your own. He tangled your fingers together and slowly led you over to his parents. His mother had a huge grin on her face and she seemed genuinely excited, vibrating with joy as you approached. Jungkook nudged you in front of him and rested his hands on your shoulders, his grip tense like he was warning you to behave. His father fixed you with a stern look, your body shuddering at the familiarity. He was so much like his son that it was scary. It really did seem like there wasn’t a way out of this and your heart shattered at the thought. You were going to be stuck with a family of people who were deluded, they actually believed that this was okay. 

“Hello dear, it’s so nice to meet you.” She said with her best attempt at a comforting smile. It was strange to think she had once been in your place when she seemed so satisfied with her life. Fuck, she had even given birth to her kidnappers son. Would that be expected of you? Were you supposed to help continue this sick cycle? At the rate that things were going, you weren’t sure how long you could hold Jungkook off. He was clingy and becoming more handsy the longer you two spent together. Carrying his child may become a reality faster than you had anticipated.

You felt Jungkook’s fingers tense as he dug into your shoulders a little harder, you still hadn’t answered his mother.

“It’s-It’s nice to meet you.” You choked out with a smile that looked more like a grimace. You were not convincing whatsoever and that was reflected in the harsh stare of her husband.

Your heart continued to pound violently in your chest, what were you supposed to do? It felt like the walls in the room were slowly closing in on you. Once again, you were reminded that there was no escape. You were like a songbird trapped in a gilded cage and you desperately wanted to stretch your wings and break free from your prison. You could feel the panic attack coming, this hadn’t been the first one since Jungkook had taken you and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. Your chest was tightening and it was becoming difficult to breathe as your heart hammered harder than before. There were a million thoughts racing in your head all at once as crisp tears began to roll down your cheeks. You clasped your hands together in an attempt to stop their trembling as your gaze zeroed in on the creaking hinges of the screen door. You were losing it. It became harder to keep a grip on reality as you felt the wave of anxiety come crashing down over you.

“Are you alright, sweetie?” Mrs. Jeon asked, her voice brimming with worry as she approached you. She gently grabbed your hands and pulled you away from her son who whined in irritation. Her dainty hands carefully smoothed your hair back as she tried to meet your gaze.

Of course you weren’t fucking alright. Any sane person would be able to see that from a mile away. You had been locked up for only God knows how long with one person who could change moods so fast it would give you whiplash. Her caring question only made everything worse, you were expected to say that everything was okay, that you were happy with her son and delighted to meet his parents. You were supposed to be the dotting girlfriend when you were so obviously the distraught victim.

How could someone with such a gentle, caring, motherly touch horrify you so much?

With a choked sob you pushed her off of you and made a sprint for the door. Within seconds you were flying through the door frame, your bare feet slapping against the wood of the porch and flying through the stretch of grass that spread over the empty field surrounding the house. It was windy and the sky was clear, the pale moonlight shining down on you as you desperately ran. You could hear Jungkook behind you screaming your name. His voice was a blend between being distraught and riddled with anger.

If he caught you, would he kill you?

His footsteps were loud and fast, he was sprinting as hard as he could to catch up with you but you were far too desperate to let him catch you so easily and so quickly. Before you knew it, you were in the forest. The trees were tall and thick, covered in moss. You weren’t thinking at this point, in fact you were just blindly running hoping to God that just maybe you would be able to out maneuver him.

You had never really tried to escape Jungkook, well you had never been able to actually try. Hell, this was the first time you were even near the front door. You couldn’t let him catch you as you would never find another chance to run away from him again. Not to mention, moments before his parents had entered the lake house, he had warned you that he was not above punishing you. You didn’t want to even think about what his punishments would entail for you.

Your legs were burning under the strain of running. After being bed bound for most of your time with your captor, you had barely done anything that was remotely as active as this. You were sure your feet were bleeding, they felt numb and slippery. The adrenaline pumping through your veins masked your pain as you pushed yourself harder. It was dark and hard to see, numerous branches had already snagged your clothing and whacked you. You really were at a disadvantage, weren’t you?

At this point, you had no doubt Jungkook would catch you. He was stronger and faster than you, you were completely outmatched in terms of endurance. You pumped your legs faster and harder, running down a slope of rocks and leaves that almost sent you tumbling. With a wheeze, you whipped around another tree and crouched down behind it and the large rocks that surrounded it. If you couldn’t outrun him, maybe you could hide from him.

You heard him come to a halt moments later as he heard your steps cease. You quickly slapped a hand over your mouth in an attempt to stifle your deep panting breaths. You could make out his head and shoulders from where you hid, he was spinning on his heels as he scanned the area around him. It was dark as the trees covered the light of the moon. Hopefully, this would make it harder for him to find you.

“(Y/N)?!” He called, his chest rising and falling rapidly with quick breaths. “Baby, I’m not playing around. You better come out right now if you know what’s good for you.”

He was fuming, it was so obvious. You could vaguely make out his tense jaw and the bulging veins in his neck. His head continued to swivel from side to side as he tried to find you in the dark.

“If you come out right now, your punishment won’t be that bad.” He spoke again, pacing back and forth as he continued to search for you. “You really disappointed me, I thought you were my good girl again. I’ve been so good to you but you keep testing me.”

You squeezed your eyes shut as panicked tears sprung forth. For someone who claimed to be in love with you, he was so good at making you cry. Your nails dug into the bark of the tree as you pressed your forehead to its trunk. He was going to find you, you never stood a chance.

“First, you take my affection for granted. Then, you question my love for you and accuse me of mistreating you. And then you throw my mother away from you like trash. We were doing so well but you just had to stop behaving.” He said with a distressed sigh as his footsteps grew nearer. Your body stilled like a deer in headlights, this was so familiar. And all at once, you were taken back to that night.

His light footsteps, the darkness, and the fear.

“All I want is to love you and take care of you, but you don’t see it that way do you?” He questioned, his voice became louder and closer. “I told you before, baby. You and I were meant to be together, from the moment I saw you I knew you were mine.”

His words were beginning to sound fuzzy as your ears rang. You had worked yourself up so much it seemed like even your own body couldn’t take it anymore. You felt sick and lethargic, and you knew it would only be a matter of seconds before he found you. Because no matter what, he would always find you.

A pair of hands latched onto your shoulders and yanked you out of your hiding spot. Game over. Jungkook turned you around violently and pinned you to the tree trunk. His eyes were so dark you couldn’t discern his iris from his pupil. He was good at making you cry, and you were good at pissing him off.

“What the fuck were you thinking?!” He yelled, shaking you by the shoulders. “I let go of you for ten seconds and you run away?!”

Your eyes snapped shut as he screamed as you, his grip tight and bruising.

“Open your eyes, right now.” He growled, his voice low and stern. “Look at me when I’m talking to you.” He continued.

Out of fear, you opened them and met his dark gaze with your own. His jaw was clenched tight as he looked at you, he was doing his very best to show you how displeased he was. It was still jarring how easy it was for him to slip between the roles of a love sick puppy and an enraged kidnapper.

“We are going home,” He said, his voice steady and deep. “You are going to apologize to my mother and father for your behavior and wait in your room for me. You are not eating tonight, not after the way you acted. Am I clear?”

You nodded so fast it looked like your head would snap right off of your neck.

“I said, am I clear?” He repeated, staring down at you.

“Yes.” You replied, your voice soft with fear but loud enough for him not to ask you to repeat yourself.

He released a soft sigh as a barely there smile graced his lips. He loved your compliance.

“You know I don’t like scaring you, baby.” He cooed, the anger slowly dissipating as he pulled you into his embrace. “But I have to when you act like this, and you know I’m going to have to punish you.”

And with that, the dam broke. Ugly sobs broke free from your chest as the tears came flooding back. You were such a mess, such a crybaby that couldn’t do anything right. You could only hope that your tears would save you from whatever pain he had in store for you.

“Jungkook, please!” You sobbed. “I was - I was scared!”

“I know baby, I know.” He hummed, smoothing your hair as he cradled you to his chest. He lowered his palms to your thighs and scooped you up, carrying you much like a parent would an infant.

“You had a stressful day, didn’t you? But still, I’m really mad at you babygirl and crying won’t solve anything.” He said, he sounded like a parent scolding their child. And much like a child, you clung to him as you wailed. In response he softly hushed you, rubbing your back as he began the walk back to the lake house.

“I’m sorry!” You croaked, burying your face in the juncture of his shoulder and neck as your tears stained his hoodie. And you were sorry, because now there was the high probability he would hurt you for your actions. Maybe if you had waited then you could have found a better way to escape him without getting hurt. But you were panicked, your body thinking for you instead of your brain.

“Such a good little girl,” He sighed, rubbing circles into your back. “Apologizing without me having to tell you. If you keep being my good girl, then we won’t have to fight anymore.”

You nodded your head rapidly, spurring light laughs from his throat. If behaving bought you time and saved your life, then you would do it. Just until you could find a way out of this, if there was a way out of this.

“Are you - are you gonna hurt me?” You sniffled, your eyes clenched shut as you hid yourself from his gaze.

“Baby, I promised you I would never hurt you again. That night…that was a one time thing. You know that, right? You know I would never hurt you?” He asked, his voice worried at the prospect that you thought he would hurt you again.

Your silence was enough of an answer.

“Oh no, my poor baby.” He gasped, squeezing you tighter to him. “So that’s why you’ve been acting this way, huh? I was too rough with you, you must still be so confused. I haven’t been very attentive, have I? Don’t worry, sweet girl. We’ll sort this out tonight.”

For the rest of the journey back there was a heavy silence between the two of you. It was accompanied by Jungkook’s soft touches and light kisses in the dark. Your little stunt seemed to only make him more affectionate than he was before, had he deluded himself into thinking this was all his fault? That he hadn’t given you enough attention and that was why you ran from him? Of course, in his mind you would never leave because you didn’t want him. Only because you didn’t have enough of him. The more time you spent with Jungkook, the more you realized how unstable he was. You were never sure what he was thinking, and that was scary. Never knowing what someone was going to do, that uncertainty was fear inducing.

It wasn’t long before the two of you had returned to the porch of the house, the door was still open but the screen door was shut allowing you to see into the hallway that led to the kitchen. You could make out the back of Jungkook’s father and the sweet voice of his mother, singing while the clanking of pots and pans followed. If this were under different circumstances, you would find it sweet.

Jungkook still held you, his chest pressed tightly to your own. His large hands cradled the back of your thighs, you could feel his thumbs lightly swiping the expanse of flesh. He dropped his head into the crook of your neck and took a deep breath before planting a soft kiss to the smooth column of your throat. It took everything in you to hold back the shudder that wanted to shake your body.

“You remember what I asked you to do for me babygirl?” He murmured, pulling back to look you in your eyes. The anger that had previously clouded them was no longer there, his soft gaze had returned once more. You gave him a quick nod and he smiled, carrying you back into your prison. His steps echoed down the hallway causing the singing to cease and his father to turn in his chair. Once more, he fixed you with that stern look that scared you shitless. Although this time it was far more intense and utterly annoyed.

“Go ahead.” Jungkook whispered, his breath ghosting over the shell of your ear. Already, this was completely humiliating. Not only did you have to apologize for trying to escape your kidnapper, but you had to do it while he cradled you like a child.

With your eyes trained to the floor, you began. “I’m sorry for all the trouble I caused. It won’t happen again.”

Mrs. Jeon smiled again, her hands clasped together as she cooed at the sight of her son holding his “girlfriend” as she liked to say. “It’s alright sweetie, trust me, I’ve been there.” she giggled.

Her words were meant to comfort you, instead they deeply disturbed you. The way she so casually referred to her kidnapping was disgusting. She talked about it like it was something normal that everyone went through, like it wasn’t a horrific crime. She was brainwashed, so many years of being with her captor had turned her into a compliant doll. She was everything you feared and everything you desperately hoped to avoid. But once she was like you. How many times had she tried to run before she realized it was impossible to get away from him. How many nights had she spent crying over the life she had lost, missing her parents, her friends, and her family? When did she realize that her life was over? There was no saving her, and soon there would be no saving you.

“(Y/N),” Mr. Jeon spoke, his voice threatening. “Don’t do it again.”

You could tell that his words had a double meaning: Don’t run away again and don’t touch my wife like that again. You gave him a swift nod as your grip on Jungkook tightened. At that moment, he was the most familiar thing to you. And you could tell he was enjoying it.

“Son, we need to have a talk.” He continued, fixing his stern gaze onto Jungkook who stiffened in response.

With that, Jungkook swiftly turned and began to carry you away from the kitchen. He moved quickly as he squeezed you to him tighter than before. He seemed nervous, like he knew what his father wanted to talk about. You had never seen Jungkook look nervous. Angry, distressed, remorseful, but never nervous. He threw the door to your bedroom open and gently set you down on your frilly comforter. His hands came up to cradle your face once more before he leaned down and softly pecked your lips, a soft sigh breaking free from his chest.

“I need you to stay right here, okay? I’ll be back soon, we have some things to discuss.” He reminded you, pressing another soft kiss to your lips before standing and exiting your room, the door shutting behind him and the lock twisting shut.

Your heart hammered in your chest, what did his father want to talk to him about? What would Jungkook discuss with you? How bad was your “punishment” going to be? There were so many unknowns spinning around in your head. You really were a mess, weren’t you? You had always thought that you could take care of yourself, and your kidnapping had proven that to be false. You had devolved into this different person you didn’t know. Before, you never cried as much as you did now. Before, you didn’t cower in anyone’s presence. In such a small amount of time, you had already become a shadow of your former self. At the rate you were going, it wouldn’t be long until you were empty and broken.

You were jolted from your thoughts when the screaming started. It was Jungkook’s voice, deeper and louder than you had ever heard it before. You couldn’t make out exactly what he was saying, but whatever his father wanted to tell him had set him off. You shuffled back into the bad, wrapping the comforter around you to provide you some feeling of safety. An angry Jungkook is an unpredictable Jungkook. The low, sweet voice of his mother was trying to cool him down but that was far from working. You could hear him snap at her, Mr. Jeon’s voice rising over all of them in a clear and loud yell. Silence followed. Whatever they were talking about, it wasn’t good.

A loud crash shattered the silence that had heavily hung in the still air. Your body jumped in response and tensed in preparation for more noise to follow, but there was none. A beat of silence passed before you heard the tell tale steps of Jungkook’s boots stomping down the hallway. In seconds the door to your bedroom was flung open and slammed shut behind him so hard the frame shook.

Jungkook’s body was shaking in rage as he paced the open space at the foot of the bed. He was so caught up in his anger it seemed like he didn’t even notice you were there anymore. That was of course, until he did. His head snapped up and his stare met yours, without a word he cleared the footboard of the bed and pinned you to the mattress. On impact, your eyes snapped shut. His hands gripped your thighs and yanked you closer to him, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he buried his face in your shoulder. He was softly mumbling to himself as he nuzzled the fabric of your sweatshirt, the lightest of tears staining your top. He was crying?

“I don’t want to hurt you.” He choked out, his body shaking as he held you close to him. “Just because Dad did it that way doesn’t mean I have to.”

You were frozen beneath him, unsure of what to do. Jungkook was clinging to you like a toddler to their parent, babbling nonsense as he tried his hardest to stop crying. Each time you thought you knew him, he proved you wrong. Jungkook chose several personas in your presence, the domineering kidnapper, the dotting boyfriend, and the whiny child. You were scared of him because you could never tell which version of him you were going to get.

“He said I might be wrong, that maybe you aren’t mine. But he’s wrong, I know it! We’re meant for each other, I love you and no one can take you away from me. Not even him. He told me I need to be harsher with you, I need to hurt you so you understand.”

So that was how he did it. Jungkook’s father trained his mother with pain. He hurt her and would only stop in exchange for her obedience. No wonder she seemed so compliant, so in love with him. He had trained her like a dog, she associated him with pain and love simultaneously.

Jungkook pulled back from you, resting his weight on his forearms to take in your face. His cheeks were flushed and his eyes were red from crying. He really did look pitiful, if anything he looked like you since you spent most of your captivity in anxiety and bouts of intense crying. He slowly raised his hand to your face and lightly stroked the flesh of your cheek. If you didn’t know any better, he would look like a man that was in love with you. But you did know better, he was just a boy in a man’s body who had been raised to think this was normal. And for a moment, you genuinely felt bad for him. For a moment, you thought you understood him.

“I won’t have to hurt you if you listen to me. I still have to punish you, but if you’re good then I don’t have to hurt you.” He whispered, sniffing sharply as he leaned back to wipe the tears from his face.

Your legs were still tensed around his waist as he dragged you up to his chest, pressing the two of you so close together that you could feel his heart beating. He scooted backwards off the bed and carried you back to the bathroom. This was beginning to feel like your first day with him all over again. He set you gently onto the counter and pressed a lingering kiss to your forehead before kneeling down on the cold tile. His fingers delicately lifted your right foot to allow him to inspect the damage you had inflicted. His face contorted with wince as he looked at your foot, silently lifting the other one to inspect it as well.

“I hate seeing you like this, in pain.” He sighed, his fingers gently stroking the delicate bones of your ankle as he looked up at you from in between your legs. Your face flushed at the sight causing you to tilt your head back against the mirror behind you. Anything was better than the position you were in right now. Jungkook cooed at the light blush that dusted your cheeks as he began to work on the wounds that littered the once smooth skin of your feet, always stopping when you would flinch or cry out from the pain. Sometimes, he could be considerate. But you didn’t want to think positively of him and you most definitely didn’t want to feel sorry for him. You didn’t want to feel anything for him. You found yourself having to remember that he was a monster, even if it wasn’t his fault he was still a monster.

A soft kiss pressed to the inside of your ankle forced you to look at him once more, a sweet smile graced his lips. The one that made him look like an innocent bunny.

“All done.” He smiled, rising up in between your legs to trap you to the counter. Jungkook always found a way to remind you of your inability to escape him, the amount of times he had pinned you today was outstanding and concerning. You really were fucked.

The sweet smile slowly slipped from his lips as his eyes flicked down to your lips. His eyes were dark again, half lidded in a daze as he looked at you. You weren’t stupid, you knew what he wanted. He swallowed harshly and leaned closer to you, cupping one side of your face as he softly stroked your bottom lip with his thumb. You could feel his hands trembling as he took in a shaky breath. He acted like you were a drug that he could never get enough of, each hit he got sending him into a deeper addiction that he craved. And God, did he want you. He wanted all of you, everything you had to offer, and more. He took another breath and leaned in, attempting to kiss you. You quickly turned your head away from him, his soft lips connecting with the smooth skin of your cheek. Instead of getting mad, he pressed another kiss to your cheek, the corner of your mouth, and gently peppered butterfly kisses to the curve of your jaw. In a panic, you jerked away from his touch only to press yourself tightly to the mirror behind you.

“I think,” He began, stopping to clear his throat. “I think I know what your punishment is going to be.”

Your heart jerked in response as his hands gripped the tops of your thighs. You had hoped maybe it wouldn’t come to this, that he had been bluffing this whole time. But if his father was so keen on punishment in his household, it only made sense he would want his son to follow in his footsteps. He had done it first, and he knew what “worked.”

“You can’t say no to me, baby. For ten days, you have to do what I want. Just for ten days.” He said, his tone gentle but you knew this wasn’t a request; it was a demand. You quickly shook your head from side to side, grasping his wrists and attempting to pull them off of you so that you could curl into yourself.

“Baby, baby! Listen to me!” He cried, catching your hands with his own while trying to meet your eyes. “You either do this for me, or I’ll have to hurt you. You know I don’t want to do that, but if I have to do it then I will. If my dad sees that you're non compliant, that you’re not being my good girl, he will try and get rid of you.”

You stilled at his words. So that’s why he had been crying so hard earlier. His father had given him an ultimatum. Jungkook had to hurt you if you misbehaved to “train” you, as his father had put it. If he didn’t see your compliance, then he would get rid of you. He would kill you for trying to free yourself.

“Jungkook…I can’t. I can’t do that. I just want to go home.” You replied, your voice weakening into a whimper as the tears rushed forth once more.

“I know this is hard for you baby, I know you need more time but I can’t keep waiting. Not with them here. Soon enough you’ll realize you are home, all you’ll need is me.” He whispered to you. And just like that all of your sympathy for him flew right out the window. At the end of the day, Jeon Jungkook was selfish. He took his father’s warning as a way to get what he wanted: you no longer being able to deny him. Jungkook is a monster, the perfect example of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. Those big, brown, doe eyes of his were concealing a dark force that was restless inside of him. That sweet smile of his hid the fangs and wrath harbored in him. He was something from your nightmares, hidden by a boyish face and a deceiving innocence. You never hated anyone as much as you hated Jeon Jungkook.

“Tonight counts as day one, you only have nine more days to go sweetheart.” He smiled, rubbing the tops of your thighs is what would have been a comforting manner if you didn’t detest his touch so much.

“Come on, you’re sleeping in my bed tonight.” He informed you, scooping your body up once more as to not have you walk on your injured feet. Not only did you have no choice but to listen to him, but now you had lost your mobility for the time being. Your teeth sunk into your lower lip, stopping yourself from snapping at him. Time had proven before that you could break, and if you broke this time it could have deadly consequences.

Would it be better to let yourself die? Would you rather live a life of captivity over the freedom that the dark embrace of death had to offer? No. You were many things, but unafraid of death was not one of them. If you were, then you would have forced Jungkook’s hand or his father’s a long time ago.

Jungkook set you down on the covers of his bed, rifling through his drawers to find something for you to wear to bed. He came back to you with a large white T-shirt in hand, something you had seen him wear many times. There was no doubt in your body that he was thrilled with this situation. Not only did he have you in his bed, but he would have you in his clothes. Jungkook sat down beside you once more, silently helping you out of your clothes. You still flinched from his touch, but tried your best not to say anything. The less you struggled, the faster you would be clothed and less vulnerable. To Jungkook’s credit, he tried his best not to openly ogle your semi naked form. His gaze still lingered, his eyes still looked you over, but he clothed you and that was that.

Once he had finished, he leaned back into the bed and kicked his boots off. He turned to look at you for another moment, taking in your body covered by his sheets. He swallowed harshly before turning away from you and opening the drawer of his nightstand. Once he faced you again you noticed the glinting metal in his hand. Handcuffs. Part of you shuddered at the thought that he kept those by his bed, the other part of you tried your best not to freak the fuck out.

“I can’t trust that you won’t try and leave while I’m sleeping.” He explained. “I don’t want to have to do this, but I need to.”

“I won’t leave.” Lie. “It’s going to be hard for me to sleep handcuffed to the bed, I learned my lesson. I won’t run.” You had tried your best to seem like you weren’t denying him, the word “no” had never passed your lips.

“It’s okay, I won’t cuff you to the headboard.” He answered, slapping the cuff to your right wrist and the other cuff to his as well. What the fuck. He leaned away from you to turn the lamp off, plunging the room into darkness. For a moment, you couldn’t see. But you could feel him. Jungkook peeled the sheets back and slid underneath them behind you, slinging his cuffed arm over your waist and pulling you back against his chest.

Motherfucker.

“Jungkook-”

“Go to sleep, baby.” He cut you off, tensing his arm in warning as he rested his chin on the top of your head. You barely slept that night.

You woke up by being blasted from the light filtering through the window. He had left the curtains open last night. And not to mention, you were extremely uncomfortable. You were hot as hell having Jungkook wrapped around you like a giant koala, your wrist was chaffed from the metal cuffs, you had a headache from the bright light, and something was pressing hard into your lower back. You huffed in annoyance, trying to shift away from the man behind you only to still when a groan shook his chest.

Oh. Something hard was pressed to your lower back.

You shivered in disgust, rolling awkwardly to unwind his arm from around you so that you could get away from his…situation.

A sharp knock on the door made you jump while simultaneously waking up your captor. “Jungkook? (Y/N)? I made breakfast! Come out before it’s cold!”

Jungkook groaned again, slinging his arm over his eyes at the sound of his mother’s voice. He took a deep breath before sitting up and retrieving the key to the cuffs, swiftly unlocking it and separating the two of you. You hastily stood up, putting as much distance between the two of you as you could. Jungkook still remained in his bed, eyeing you as he titled his head back. You felt shivers run down your spine from the look he was giving you. You had no doubt you knew exactly what he was thinking about.

“Jungkook!” Mrs. Jeon yelled again from the other side of the door, her swift knocks returning once more. Her impatience knew no bounds as she finally gave up and swung the door open. It was quite a sight to see, such a small woman looking so angry. Jungkook actually looked scared for a moment.

“Jungkook, I said breakfast is ready and getting cold! Don’t ignore your mother!” She scolded him, waving a spatula around as she yelled at him. This sight was just too normal, it was so strange to think that you were kidnapped. Never in a million years did you ever think you would see your captor’s mother yelling at him like he was still a child.

Jungkook sighed, trying his best not to lash out at his mother lest his father hear their exchange. “You waited all of ten seconds, mom.”

“That doesn’t matter! I shouldn’t have to wait!” She replied before taking a hold of your elbow and tugging you towards the hallway. “Now, are you coming or will you make your mother wait longer?”

“I’ll uh, I’ll be out in a few minutes.” He answered awkwardly.

“Fine, suit yourself.” She huffed before dragging you out of the bedroom and walking you in the direction of the kitchen. But not before you saw Jungkook mouth, “behave” with that stern look returning to his face. Right, it was day two.

“It’s time for some girl talk!” She beamed, ushering you into a seat where a plate of food awaited. “So, tell me. How did you and my son meet?”

She couldn’t be serious. This had to be some twisted joke, right? The look on her face spoke volumes, she was genuinely curious with a smile so similar to her sons spreading over her face. You wanted so badly to scream in her face that he fucking kidnapped you, that you barely knew him when the two of you were in the same classes. You took a deep breath in an attempt to calm yourself. No matter how badly you wanted to scream and cry, you couldn’t. The threat of Jungkook’s father was still near, if you didn’t behave he had no qualms about “getting rid” of you.

“Uh, we met in high school.” You answered, poking at your food and refusing to make eye contact with her.

“High school sweethearts! How cute, that’s just like me and my husband!” She gushed. She was just as deluded as the rest of them.

Your silence caused her lips to turn downward, the smile slipping off of her face. A look of understanding crossed over her eyes as she gently reached across the table to cradle your hand in her own.

“I understand how hard it is at first.” She said, your head snapped up to look at her. This was the first time she didn’t seem bubbly and in love. “I ran too, you know. It’s overwhelming, becoming a part of their world and learning that way they love. My husband was strict with me, but he had to be for the sake of our relationship.”

And just like that, your hope died again. She thought she was in love with him, that he did all he did because they were meant to be together. She was like you once, and she had lost the fight. Your eyes dropped to her hands that held your own. To your horror, you noticed the deep scars littering her wrists and palms. On the inside of her wrist was the most prominent scar, a large J carved into her skin. If her hands were that scarred, what was she hiding underneath her shirt and pants? Was her whole body subjected to the torture that her husband called love? He had conditioned her with pain, he had made her into what he wanted her to be.

“Baby?” Jungkook called, walking into the kitchen with a worried look on his face as he took in your stiff posture and disturbed expression. He came to your side immediately and settled his arm on the back of your chair, his eyes scanning over you to make sure you were okay.

“Are you feeling sick, sweetheart?” He asked, pressing his lips to your forehead making his mother smile at the display of affection.

You shook your head and stopped yourself from flinching away. After all, you couldn’t say no to him.

The days began to pass quicker after the incident with Jungkook’s mother. You had learned his parents would be staying in the guest house to give the two of you space while also keeping an eye on you. You could feel yourself spiraling in the aftermath of everything that had happened. The only thing that was keeping you from lashing out again was the hard glare Jungkook’s father constantly had trained on you. Not to mention, your compliance was the only thing preventing Jungkook from hurting you the same way his father had his mother.

Each day proved to be more straining than the day before. Jungkook would push for more from you, he would start with small things and gradually work his way up to what he really wanted. And it was exhausting. You never stood a chance against him. He was a monster that had disguised himself so skillfully that even you didn’t see what he was doing when this started.

Day 3: You weren’t allowed to sleep in “your” room anymore. His excuse was that his dad wouldn’t approve of leaving you alone. But you knew that was a lie, he just wanted to have you to himself for as long as he could. He took your privacy from you, the one thing you had been allowed to have.

Day 4: You spent the day together watching movies. You weren’t allowed to leave his hold the entire time. You weren’t allowed to deny his touch no matter how much you wanted to jump out of his arms and make a run for it for the second time. He held you the entire day and it felt so suffocating.

Day 5: You weren’t allowed to see his mom anymore. You were only allowed to talk to him, you could only spend time with him. You felt like you were going crazy being with just him again. Sure, his mother was completely brainwashed but still she was someone that wasn’t him.

Day 6: You weren’t allowed to dress yourself anymore. You hadn’t objected, but you did try and tell him that you could do it yourself, that you were an adult. But of course, you weren’t allowed to deny him. If you did, then he could hurt you. If you did, his father could kill you. What other choice did you have? How could you fight back when there was nothing protecting you except your captor’s empty promises? You hated the feeling of his hands on your body, skimming over your exposed flesh as he would change your clothes.

Day 7: You couldn’t deny his affection no matter how much you wanted to. You had found yourself pressed into the couch cushions, one of his hands woven through your hair as the other stroked your waist, his lips locked tightly to your own.

“Kiss me back.” He had whined into your mouth, harsh pants of air bursting over your lips. And reluctantly you did, because what else were you going to do? You had no other choice, there was no escape. Not while both of his parents were here. You had foolishly hoped that you could last ten days with him. That your punishment would end and you could regain what little freedoms he had given you before.

Day 8: You couldn’t sleep, not while he was doing what he was behind you. You had kept your eyes clenched tightly shut but you could still hear what he was doing, you could feel his breaths hitting the back of your neck as soft moans burst from his throat. His one hand gripping your hip tightly as he worked himself up, moaning your name desperately as you pretended to sleep.

You were disgusted, but you knew it would be better to pretend you were unaware than to snap at him.

Day 9: That night, he told you he wanted to bathe you. He wanted to cross the one hard line you gave him, and you were breaking ever so slowly. You didn’t flinch when he stripped you of your clothes or when he cradled your bare body to his chest, settling you into the tub. His eyes were hooded in lust, his gaze and hands straying as he washed you. This was what he wanted, full dependence and utter compliance. All you could do was close your eyes and pretend he was someone else, that you were anywhere but there.

Day 10: He wanted you. That was his “final” punishment. He had you laid out in the center of his bed, his hands running over every part of you he could touch while his lips marred the column of your throat. He was breathing heavily, raising himself up to kiss you as he reached down to pull your shirt up, only disconnecting from you to rip the fabric from your torso. He let out a deep groan, even though it was nothing he hadn’t already seen the night before. He frantically gripped the waistband of your pants and yanked them off to reveal more of your skin.

“My pretty, good, little girl.” He cooed, stroking your hips before his fingers curled into the fabric of your underwear, attempting to pull them away.

A sudden clarity overcame you and you couldn’t hold yourself back any longer. Your hands snapped down to his wrists and held them tight, trying your hardest to fix him with a glare you didn’t know you were capable of.

“No.” You bit out, your nails sinking into the skin of his wrists.

“No?” He laughed, that dark look returning to his handsome face. “Don’t you remember, baby? You can’t say no.”

There he was, the monster that you knew had been hiding behind that sweet face. Jungkook had several personas, the domineering kidnapper, the dotting boyfriend, and the whiny child. This was the one you had been waiting to see, the one that had violently slammed your head into the hood of your car that night. The one that had drugged you and zip tied you in the back of his car. He was always there, just sitting beneath the surface waiting to come and get you.

But you were tired, so fucking tired of being scared all the time. You took a deep breath and squared your shoulders, fixing him with the darkest glare you could manage. This wouldn’t go his way, no matter how much he thought he was winning, no matter how he played you like a Puppeteer controlling his helpless marionette. And with conviction you bit out that one word you had agreed not to say.

“No.”

[hgsn-moved]

it is fucking BRUTAL out so windy and the snow melted and refroze so it's so fucking slippery... hurt my hip (same hip) a second time

[stupidbeecandle]

do you have more lighthouse stories?

So there was one lighthouse with a traditional foghorn where I spent most of my time and another lighthouse which was a quiet, inactive one on a far more lush island, it looked kind of like those new Zealand pictures of the shire only in Maine.

The lighthouse I mostly spent time in was on what could barely be defined as an island in a series of other outcroppings barely defined as islands that somehow mustered themselves to qualify as a tiny almost-archipelago. The island was about the size of a football field and made entirely of rocks, gravel, and boulders with the only plants being seaweed that washed ashore and the canned vegetables we kept in the pantry.

There was no electricity or running water but everything was really eco friendly and efficient with how the bathrooms, and kitchen and the like were set up, and there was a huge fireplace in the downstairs living room (later including the moose) that folks slept in front of during the winter months because it was A: warm and B: the room you'd be most likely to survive a storm in because it was rock solid compared to the other rooms which were made of wood and had glass windows.

You had to be familiar with how to survive somewhat to get assigned to this particular location, there were other jaunts you'd had to prove your muster on first like an assignment in a miserably cold bog (with another dead moose, this one incredibly old but perfectly preserved in the bog) or on the lush island I briefly described above which barely qualified as survival training and was more of a nice vacation than anything.  Before you could go on any of the assignments you were warned a lot about the local backwoods folk who didn't take kindly to young science nerds island hopping and tagging various birds and critters for our studies. The basic rules were "don't fuck with the locals, and don't fuck the locals". Story went that a few years ago one of the researchers who had been fuckin one of the local girls had been found hanging from a barn rafter a few islands over, about two stories in the air in what the local law enforcement deemed a "suicide".

The island was covered in sea birds which is why my crew was there as a set of researchers. They were incredibly territorial and attacked you if you got near their nests which were pretty much everywhere except the lighthouse and the dock that led up to the lighthouse. They were also stupid as hell because they instinctually attacked the highest point on your body thinking it must be your head so the lot of us would wear one leather glove and raise our hands as we walked anywhere on the island. The birds would peck the fuck out of your hand for a bit then get tired and leave you alone after a while. For a long time after I came back to the mainland, I walked around with one hand raised above my head.

It was windy as fuck there all the time, and even on the days that it was beautiful and sunny in the summer, getting up in the seventies and the like the wind would feel frigid. I lost my baseball cap that I was new enough not to know better than to wear when I first got assigned and after chasing it across the jagged rocks for a few minutes it landed across the thick white "cross at the guarantee of permanent harm to your flesh and bones" foghorn line.  My hat was within sight but sadly lost to the ages.

or it would have been if I hadn't spent all my points on intelligence instead of wisdom. My team and I waited until the horn went off and then they shouted a countdown behind me as I sprinted in a mad dash across the rocks that were especially slippery because we never traversed them for research. I grabbed the hat and sprinted back across the white line to cheers of my equally stupid but supportive friends. We went inside to celebrate my accomplishment and my hat, and were met with the appalled looks from the two dudes from the radio crew who explained that they could have just turned the damn thing off and that I was a stupid mother fucker who almost had her brains blown out by the horn. They later insinuated that I might not have actually been in any real danger since I clearly had no brains to lose.

Food sucked but also tasted divine. When you're miserably cold and you get your hands on some hot rehydrated eggs filled with all the amazing protein and nutrients your body needs you want to cry at the flavor and comfort powdered eggs can bring.  We kept the beach moose and named him "moose" because we were very creative, but expired critters washed up on the shore fairly regularly. It was a big part of why we were there to study the sea birds who scavaged them. Depending on the critter, the bones would sell for a fortune so it was our job to suspend various sea lions, birds, leatherback sea turtles and the like so the birds would get to them easier and we could collect the bones, treat them, and take them back to the mainland to get passed off to various museums and private collectors depending on the endangered status of the animal.

Once we did a whale.  If the foghorn was the loudest noise I have ever heard then, then the whale was the worst thing I've ever smelled. Nobody wanted to clean the dead whale, but it was part of our jobs. We called in backup from the other islands who were also under contract to help. Straws were drawn, friendships were lost, and people wanted to quit but were under contractual obligations to stay.

So it took ages but we cleaned the fucking enormous whale (which was actually a very small whale but still a fucking whale)  with the help of some experts who bossed us around. The bones were collected and since this whale wasn't of any endangered status I think it was one of the lots that was sold rather than donated but I never handled the business side of things. There was no running water on the island and so we all smelled like dead whale for ages until we got used to it, cleaned ourselves as best as we could and thought we smelled pretty okay after changing into some clean clothes after scrubbing ourselves with some powder soap, shaving off all of our hair, and changing into some clean clothes.

When crew rotation happened the new seasonal shift arrived (you had to rotate every few months, it was a manditory mental health thing) they threw up when we got on the boat. It was horrible and triggered a chain of almost everyone but our senior field researcher puking. We apparently did not smell as clean as we had hoped and were made to ride in the back of a truck on the mainland because no one would let us in their cars. The lush island was considerably nicer but I don't think quite as interesting

[hljournal]

Today’s author is perfectdagger / @perfectdagger ! Don’t forget to give the fics kudos and leave a comment!

a thousand miles away (from the day that we started) (WIP)

Five years after his break up with Louis and ten since they've left school, Harry finds himself hosting a reunion at his family bungalow, having to face his ex again and the feelings he had left behind.

Or, a time capsule au

A Twist Of Fate (59k)

Or a Just My Luck Au in which Louis, who apparently is the luckiest man in the world according to his friends, might have his fate and luck twisted when he crosses path with a handsome and mysterious bloke dressed up as Zorro at Syco Entertainment Press Corp’s Halloween party.

Make Your Heart Remember Me (97k)

When Harry’s daughter auditions for The Voice Kids singing One Direction, Louis unexpectedly finds himself remembering a boy from his past. This time, he hopes to have another chance to make sure he won’t let him slip away.

Can I bother you for a sex? (16k)

Reason #40 – Called/texted the wrong person, but he was into it anyway  

When Harry mistexts Louis, Louis realises that he wouldn't mind Harry bothering him with anything, especially not with sex.

Love Is On The Radio (35k)

To win a pair of tickets to watch Manchester United playing, Louis may have possibly lied to Nick Grimshaw on the BBC Radio 1 Breakfast Show, asking Harry, his best friend, to be his boyfriend. Problem is - Harry has always been in love with Louis and so, this Valentine’s he’s gonna see his dreams come true, with a tiny bit of a twist, in order to watch the football team they have loved together since they were kids.

Bright Eyes (26k)

Amongst the many things Louis hated at the moment, there was one thing that somehow still brought a little bit of hope into his days. Even if it was to come back home just to see Harry’s face, Harry’s bright green eyes, that alone made everything better somehow.

That night, seeing Harry smiling at him, it made his life a hundred times better than it had been for all those months he had already been there.

“What the fuck are you doing, Tomlinson?” Louis spoke to himself, closing his eyes at the sensation of the cold breeze. “You can’t let yourself fall for him, you just can’t. You don’t even know him. You aren’t even friends with him, fuck,” he shook his head, now looking up at the sky, trying to make out the moon amid the heavy clouds. “You can’t, otherwise you’ll never leave this place.”

Love Like Wildfire (21k)

Louis was an Omega and a Prefect. Harry was an Alpha and a little rascal. They were mates, drawn to each other since they first met in the Hogwarts Express. They worked well like that, or at least they tried, which only made their relationship way more interesting.

Friday I’m In Love (30k)

Or the one where Harry works at the coffee shop and Louis goes there almost every day and Harry is head over heels for him, making his love life look like a The Cure song. Inspired by Friday I’m in Love by The Cure (obviously).

There Is A Light (17k)

Christmas/New Years AU in which Harry and Louis are single parents and they meet at an odd encounter at the toy shop and somehow, they end up together, bonded by their little ones.

Hopelessly Devoted To You (2k)

The one where Harry gets home to find a sleepy Louis watching Grease while waiting for him.

A Way of Keeping You Inside (Ink) (5k)

Or the one in which Louis thinks Harry's "Hi" tattoo is stupid and doesn't get its meaning. Only until he does and also gets his first tattoo.

Home (1k)

The one in which for some reason Larry didn’t come out at the end of the tour and even though they had changed management, for publicity purposes, they still have to wait a few months to come out. So this happens during their break while they are at home.

The One After The Anniversary Concert (1,5k)

Harry talks to a couple on stage about their wedding anniversary on September 28th.

Louis wishes he had talked about their own wedding anniversary instead.

Every Little Thing He Does Is Magic (92k)

Part 1 of the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts series, or the Hogwarts AU where Louis is a muggle, Lottie finds out she is a witch and Harry is Lottie’s wizard friend from Hogwarts, with a lot of magic, letters, owl cuddles and crushes on boys from different worlds.

Sick Of Losing Soulmates (I Like You) (7k)

Part 2 of the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts series, or the interlude in which 3 years apart seems to be nothing and too much at the same time.

If You Ever Wanna Be In Love (119k)

Part 3 of the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts series, or the one when a Holiday season together might be just what a wizard and a muggle with a too complicated past between them need to find each other again.

Tell The World We Finally Got It All Right (56k)

Part 4 of the Mistletoes & Wrackspurts series, or the year when Louis and Harry finally decided to give themselves a try, (re)falling in love and making memories for a life time.

If we could only fly there’d be no more lonely nights (100)

Autumn Drabble Prompt #67: Migrate

Sometimes, moving away is the best thing one can do. For Harry, though, it means longing for someone he promised his love to.

Part 1 of The leaves are ready to begin falling again, as I am for you drabbles series

The wind keeps blowing somewhere everyday (100)

Autumn Drabble Prompt #17: Brown

It also means missing the little things about your life, one that reminds you of what you left behind.

Part 2 of The leaves are ready to begin falling again, as I am for you drabbles series

I’m going home soon and I wanna stay (100)

Autumn Drabble Prompt #57: Homecoming

And if after a year nothing has changed, all Harry can do is go back home and have everything he needs in his arms again.

Part 3 of The leaves are ready to begin falling again, as I am for you drabbles series

Two lovely berries moulded on one stem (100)

Summer Drabble Prompt #13: Beach house

Reminiscing his childhood at the beach house, Harry recalls an old friend.

Part 1 of the Joy and fresh days of love accompany your hearts drabbles series

Now I am fled, my soul is in the sky (100)

Summer Drabble Prompt #112: Shooting star

And more than just friends through the years, Louis and Harry became a promise under the midsummer night sky.

Part 2 of the Joy and fresh days of love accompany your hearts drabbles series.

The course of true love never did run smooth (100)

Summer Drabble Prompt #58: Frisbee

Thinking about a promise long forgotten, Harry is suddenly hit by the past and maybe a new chance to make up for the lost time.

Part 3 of the Joy and fresh days of love accompany your hearts drabbles series.

Accidentally (100)

Spring Drabble Prompt: Flourish

Louis finds himself drawn to a flower shop without meaning to. Something seems to flourish there.

Part 1 of the Belting out sunlight, shimmering love drabbles series.

Running down into the spring (100)

Spring Drabble Prompt: Airy

As cliché as it might sound, Louis does feel something different and special spring up that airy morning.

Part 2 of the Belting out sunlight, shimmering love drabbles series.

There’s no escaping your love (100)

Spring Drabble Prompt: Spring Fling

And maybe there’s no harm in thinking that he’s ready for an unexpected spring fling with the cute flower guy.

Part 3 of the Belting out sunlight, shimmering love drabbles series.

Walking in the wind (100)

Winter Drabble Prompt: Wind

Walking around a small village on a cold windy day wasn't one of Louis' favorite things to do, even if it was for the sake and warmth of their winter Holiday.

Part 1 of the Hurt/Comfort: A winter's tail (the fall and rise of Louis Tomlinson) drabbles series.

You got me slippin’, stumblin’ (100)

Winter Drabble Prompt: Slippery

Even more if it included Louis falling on his arse, and getting Harry laughing and singing Clumsy by Fergie all the way back to their cabin at his expenses.

Part 2 of the Hurt/Comfort: A winter's tail (the fall and rise of Louis Tomlinson) drabbles series.

Come on baby, light my fire (100)

Winter Drabble Prompt: Firewood

But in the end, it didn’t matter if Louis had lost his beanie, fallen on the pavement or had been made fun of. He’s got all he needed: his fire and Harry to warm him up.

Part 3 of the Hurt/Comfort: A winter's tail (the fall and rise of Louis Tomlinson) drabbles series.

[wakeup-awg]

stormy nights || soph & alex

Alex: "Fuck," he muttered as he scrambled back up from the floor. "Sebastian, what the hell?" After their date night out, it had been a lazy couple days at home. Today had started of alright but by the early afternoon it began to rain and it was storming outside now, raining heavily and super windy and apparently the dog didn't exactly enjoy that. He was all over the place, following Alex everywhere, panting like an idiot and drooling wherever he went. As he was walking out of the kitchen and towards the living room, Alex had not seen the puddle of dog drool and slipped on it, falling to the floor and landing ungracefully on his butt. "Babe, we need to mop the damn floor and put Baz somewhere cooped up," he called as he rubbed his butt and glanced around. "Carefuly where you walk, the floor is fucking slippery. Think I may have bruised my ass.."

[totiredtowrite]

haha yeah that grocery thing was the highlight of my day tbh. me and TB had to go pick up some stuff for dinner later because we’re low on groceries and our parents are in Boston until Tuesday (we live in CA) and it’s currently windy af and was drizzling and we’re trying to get to the car with all our shit in our hands because we thought “hey we’re strong enough to carry this shit no biggie” and we forgot to bring our reusable bags so we got plastic ones because we reuse those too. anyway TB is ahead of me by like ten feet ahead of me at the car and he gets the trunk open. he’s putting his bags inside the car and I had him one of mine when I hear a rip and a thunk thunk thunk and we’re just standing there for a second when TB’s instincts kick in and the groceries are rolling down the parking lot towards the main street (because it’s on an incline) so he sprints to catch as much shit as he can, but it’s windy and it’s drizzling, so his jacket’s just whipping around and smacking him in the face and he fucking slips. his legs come out right from under him and he falls flat on his ass. but it’s slippery and he’s on an incline so he’s skidding towards the street and he’s trying to get his jacket outta his face and when he’s about to get up to try and retrieve the goods, a fuckin truck zooms by at like 50 on a 30 and runs over the groceries

- airhead

JESUSA SJAGDGSDKJJ

[mycloneismywaifu]

Shaco’s thoughts on champions..

Aatrox: Such an angry man, definitely needs to relax.

Ahri: quite pretty, everyone seems to like her. I don’t know though..

Akali: Grumpy, but also...balanced, as they would say?

Alistar: Big boy, Small Mind.

Amumu: Oh Nyoh, poor baby...grow up.

Anivia: who left the frozen chicken out to defrost?

Annie: I like their potential, might host a tea party.

Aphelios: Sorry, didn’t hear what you said.

Ashe: chill...hehe...

Aurelion Sol: ALMIGHTY POTENTIAL...Rude as fuck.

Azir: Hm...you had everything, how did it feel to lose so much...?

Bard: BWOMMM....indeed.

Blitzcrank: Metal body, Metal mind, Metal heart...I wonder if you can feel...

Brand: Toasty, I’ll keep you in my fireplace.

Braum: You have a heart worth thousands, but can you save everybody..?

Caitlyn: You claim to be an amazing sherrif, but you haven’t caught me!

Camille: My my, that’s some long...knives.

Cassiopeia;  I like your style...Poison is quite...thrilling in it’s own way~

Cho'Gath: Who’s a good all eating terrifying monster...? YOU ARE!~

Corki: Has ANYONE seen his feet? Anybody?!

Darius: Chop Chop~ You’ve got to catch up to your brother~

Diana: So edgy, but loving the aesthetic~

Dr. Mundo: I’ll see you next week for drinks! Bring the good stuff!

Draven: I heard your brother’s ahead of you, gotta do more work~!

Ekko: Even if you go back in time, you can’t fix your mistakes...~

Elise: Oh My..!

Evelynn: MY OH MY!

Ezreal: Do you really have to dance like that...?

Fiddlesticks: SQUARK!!! ...hah, good times...

Fiora: You’ll never find a worthy opponent with manners like that!

Fizz: Slippery little sucker you are...

Galio: Big. Very Big.

Gangplank: Arrrg! ..got any of those oranges

Garen: You wish for JUSTICE! but what if you’re in the wrong..?

Gnar: Annoying, but sort of cute. Don’t piss it off, whatever you do.

Gragas: My supplier of the finest bourbon. Also a drinking buddy.

Graves: He smells nice.

Hecarim: I love to sneak onto his back to ride on him like a horse...

Heimerdinger: ...Fucking know it all.

Illaoi: I tried arm wrestling with her ones. Never again.

Irelia: K n i v e s, so many K N I V E S.

Ivern: Honestly I’d probably get high with this guy. He seems like fun to get high with.

Janna: Is it me or is it windy in here?

Jarvan IV: You have a kingdom, but do you deserve it?

Jax: If i gave you a rubber chicken, would you still clobber people?

Jayce: Pretty boy needs to learn his place.

Jhin: Finally, someone with some good T A S T E 

Jinx: 👀

Kai'Sa: I’m surprised you didn’t go c r a z y in the void..how do you feel..?

Kalista: I heard you want to get a little bit of vengence...?

Karma: ...Is a bitch...Pun intended.

Karthus: Fucking love to rock out with this guy. Holy shit.

Kassadin: Needs to find an inhaler.

Katarina: Totally isn’t a Yandere waiting for Garen to ask her out.

Kayle: Should have been the one to hit the ground too hard if she fell.

Kayn: Fucking edgelord who I wish would make up his fucking mind.

Kennen: Get a load of pikachu over here..

Kha'Zix: Messy eater, wouldn’t invite over again.

Kindred: Fun to talk about death with, would chat again. Wolf’s a good boy.

Kled: Fucking mental, would drink with again.

Kog'Maw: What the fuck is this thing. I love it. 

LeBlanc: Amazing parties, amazing dances, need to hang out more..

Lee Sin: Now you see me, now you...oh hang on.

Leona: Praise the sun? Nah I get sun stroke. Give me your sister pls.

Lillia: Too innocent, shouldn’t be here, easy to mess with...actually, maybe stay..?

Lissandra: Cold. Very cold. But the best of the 3..

Lucian: I laughed when I heard Senna got caught. Thresh did a good job.

Lulu: One of my bestest sort of friends, we cause the best mischief. 

Lux: Does your father know what you can do...?

Malphite: B I G

Malzahar: Sorta kinda kreeps me out sometimes...his bugs fuck my shit up...

Maokai: I like chilling in his branches, his saprolings know how to party.

Master Yi: That’s a nice lookin sword you’ve got there...

Miss Fortune: You got two lovely guns. 

Mordekaiser: Best guitarist I’ve ever heard. need to see their next concert.

Morgana: Lovely cookies, shame everyone dies after though.

Nami: Why would you even buy boots??

Nasus: Your brother hates you, do you forgive him? 

Nautilus: Can you even feel me knocking on your head?

Neeko: I see myself all the time, you can’t fool me...

Nidalee: You need some class, a wash and some clothes...

Nocturne: DARKNESS, DARLING, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!

Nunu and Willump: Willump can you just eat him already?

Olaf: I miss the good old drinking days...heh, mom’s op...

Orianna: The intricacy of the workings inside are limitless, I must see inside...

Ornn: B I G aswell

Pantheon: You’ve got abs you can eat off, and an ass that would be eaten.

Poppy: You may be small, but damn you hurt.

Pyke: I need to talk to you more, I want to hear all about drowning as much as I can...

Qiyana: You’re just an angry person.

Quinn: I’ve been trying to kill Valor for so long I can’t count the days.

Rakan: Look in the mirror for too long and your face will stick like that.

Rammus: Ok.

Rek'Sai: *SCREECHES BACK*

Renekton: Your brother trapped you for millenia, tell me how much you hate him..

Rengar: heh, you let your guard down and the bug ate your eye..funny.

Riven: You’ll never be welcomed back, you know that, right..?

Rumble: She’ll never notice how much you love her. Give up.

Ryze: C’mon, let me look in the scroll, just a little peek?

Sejuani: God you smell as bad as the boar...

Senna: You have no idea how long it’s been to ask someone...how was it in the lanturn??

Sett: All you do is punch. Not impressed at all.

Shaco: Love this guy, can’t get enough of him!

Shen: You say balance is necessary, so isn’t what Zed doing good..?

Shyvana: No matter what you do, Demacia will always fear you~

Singed: You need to give me more of your experimental vials, I have too much fun with them..

Sion: oh hey big guy, I thought you died!

Sivir: I think you make more money than me killing people...jealous much..

Skarner: Aren’t you the last of your kind...? Samesies! how’s it feel for you~!

Sona: I wish I could hear you scream...that would be wonderful..

Soraka: Why not give Warwick what he wants...no one will miss you~

Swain: I would love to study your...ehem...other form more, it’s so intriguing ...

Sylas: You were a bad boy, yet you didn’t let people know about lux~

Syndra: Show me this limitless power you have~

Tahm Kench: Gotta say, I’m a big fan of your vocabulary...

Taliyah: Yasuo isn’t who you think he is...you should ask who Yone is...

Talon: Stabby Stabby time~

Taric: Wow. 

Teemo: I could list off 900 different ways I would exterminate that little rodent.

Thresh: Hey, I’m Shaco, big fan, huge. Biggest even.

Tristana: you’re oblivious to all the signs, you’ll end up hurting people you have no idea exist...

Trundle: HIT HIT HIT, That all you think about?

Tryndamere: See above

Twisted Fate: I’m never playing cards with you again, seriously, fuck off.

Twitch: God you stink. but you make a good foot rest.

Udyr: So calm, yet anger is deep inside you..

Urgot: No one likes you but god you’re amazing at killing people.

Varus: You fuck everything up, yet you’re still around...

Vayne: You wish to rid the world of black magic, but so much fun comes from it..

Veigar: HAH, SO, SMALL, OH MY, HE’S JUST...PFFFF.

Vel'Koz: I too wish to know what’s going on inside of people’s heads..just more emotionally.

Vi: Caitlyn will never notice you.

Viktor: hit me up when the revolution starts, I may skip town til it’s over.

Vladimir: SO MUCH GOOD WINE, OOF.

Volibear: You’re a big boi now, indeed.

Warwick: Cmon, you know you want it, go get it...soraka’s practically open...

Wukong: sometimes you even get me confused...

Xayah: oo, look at me, such an edgy bitch, only one man get’s me~

Xerath: I am so curious, how the hell did you become what you are...

Xin Zhao: sorry, who are you again?

Yasuo: You killed your brother, didn’t you. I fucking knew it!!

Yorick: Play me that bass riff again, it’s so G O O D

Yuumi: God you’re annoying. 

Zac: surprisingly enough, you’re an amazing bed.

Zed: You know what you should do..? Kill them all...heh, that’d be fun to watch..

Ziggs: I need you to make more bombs, for me...for research purposes..heh

Zilean: You are also annoying, stop knowing where I’ll be, stop. now.

Zoe: GOD, WHY ARE YOU ALL ANNOYING

Zyra: ...you provide the good kush.

Clean list below if anyone want’s to do it too!

I love reading them, tag me in them if you could! :D

Aatrox,

Ahri,

Akali,

Alistar,

Amumu,

Anivia,

Annie,

Aphelios,

Ashe,

Aurelion Sol,

Azir,

Bard,

Blitzcrank,

Brand,

Braum,

Caitlyn,

Camille,

Cassiopeia,

Cho'Gath,

Corki,

Darius,

Diana,

Dr. Mundo,

Draven,

Ekko,

Elise,

Evelynn,

Ezreal,

Fiddlesticks,

Fiora,

Fizz,

Galio,

Gangplank,

Garen,

Gnar,

Gragas,

Graves,

Hecarim,

Heimerdinger,

Illaoi,

Irelia,

Ivern,

Janna,

Jarvan IV,

Jax,

Jayce,

Jhin,

Jinx,

Kai'Sa,

Kalista,

Karma,

Karthus,

Kassadin,

Katarina,

Kayle,

Kayn,

Kennen,

Kha'Zix,

Kindred,

Kled,

Kog'Maw,

LeBlanc,

Lee Sin,

Leona,

Lillia,

Lissandra,

Lucian,

Lulu,

Lux,

Malphite,

Malzahar,

Maokai,

Master Yi,

Miss Fortune,

Mordekaiser,

Morgana,

Nami,

Nasus,

Nautilus,

Neeko,

Nidalee,

Nocturne,

Nunu and Willump,

Olaf,

Orianna,

Ornn,

Pantheon,

Poppy,

Pyke,

Qiyana,

Quinn,

Rakan,

Rammus,

Rek'Sai,

Renekton,

Rengar,

Riven,

Rumble,

Ryze,

Sejuani,

Senna,

Sett,

Shaco,

Shen,

Shyvana,

Singed,

Sion,

Sivir,

Skarner,

Sona,

Soraka,

Swain,

Sylas,

Syndra,

Tahm Kench,

Taliyah,

Talon,

Taric,

Teemo,

Thresh,

Tristana,

Trundle,

Tryndamere,

Twisted Fate,

Twitch,

Udyr,

Urgot,

Varus,

Vayne,

Veigar,

Vel'Koz,

Vi,

Viktor,

Vladimir,

Volibear,

Warwick,

Wukong,

Xayah,

Xerath,

Xin Zhao,

Yasuo,

Yorick,

Yuumi,

Zac,

Zed,

Ziggs,

Zilean,

Zoe,

Zyra,

[pataphorical]

Beltane

Dear Hera,

Today, I celebrate the maiden within you. We’ve always loved flowers, unicorns, and beautiful things…. But not at the sake of compassion or love. As you get older and have children… priorities change. You learned how to survive as a child, and it’s a lesson you’ll never let your kids be destroyed by. You were destroyed. Just for a moment. One breath. Hold.

There are these pots in a faraway land that are made of shattered clay. They fill those spaces with gold, and the way they blend and contrast together make a more beautiful art piece. You are filling your blood with gold. Grace, Honor, and Truth. Together those things will always make a beautiful spirit. Together your intention will flow with golden light.

Tonight I gathered the family together, made a beautiful meal in your name. It was too windy for a fire, but we all lit candles. We smiled. I let everyone just do what they want. We enjoyed each other, and laughed, and played. I got these long ribbons on sticks that the children twirled with, dancing with the wind and their own innate magic.

I never knew…. Peace like this. Love like this. I’ll name my next child Iris. It’s a name loved by both my husband and I. I loved the name Lilac, but my husband loved Iris. While Iris is like the Lilac, a graceful burst and flow of color and scent, it is also the Goddess of the rainbow, and her older sister has always prayed for a sister. A friend. Her room is a shrine to the rainbow. Iris, like Hermes, is a messenger god, though I feel she has a tendency to pick the sweeter messages to deliver. That will be my Iris. Fiona’s Iris. Orpheus’ Iris. Oh, Hera, it is my fondest wish for myself and my husband.

Also, Hera, please accept the sacrifice of my body, for a fucking fourth time, to add the dream sparkle to this marriage. I hate being pregnant. I’m keeping that opinion until I actually get knocked up and the magical baby hormones kick in. Sweet bio drugs, but I’m giving up a lot of things I love that help me cope and stay the beautiful creature you made me. Also, four just makes sense. Also, maybe this time we can work of some ridiculous hair growth. Maybe just a tad wavier? Do I get some choices in the DNA magic pregnancy swap?

In all fairness, I wouldn’t change a thing in my life. You, Hera,  gave me everything I could of wanted, and now I’m daring to dream just outside the dream I never thought I’d make it to. You’ve given me a beautiful, clever mind that can solve most problems, adapt quickly, and process more efficiently. I will keep this mind sharp for you, and my heart will always be in the name of Persephone. She can venture into the darkness for a short while, thrive, but she does need to work most of the other times. Sweet job. Let’s see what I can do to get there.

But, tonight I simply smile, sigh, and breathe in everything I have intentionally created for myself and my family. Tonight, I am proud of myself. I am grateful to have so many clever Gods to learn stories from… I’m finding those stories I learned in school weren’t just for a few laughs. Took me a bit to get here, but everything often does. Do I get to blame you for making me that way? I hope that got a little smile at my cheekiness.

Orpheus has held my hand through everything, and I promise that I will never stop learning. He had to learn so many dark truths about the world, and that’s a steep price to pay for loving me. He did it. Sometimes he grumbles a bit, but I can also be a bit slippery when I want to get away with something.

Neil Gaiman once wrote a comparison between the slick of a girl’s vulva, and that of a minnow. A minnow doesn’t have the scent of a bigger fish, and as a child I remember trying to catch them in the creek with a dark haired girlfriend of mine. I loved her. I loved her so much. She was wild, and confident, and when she laughed the whole world laughed with her. I got leeches that day. We were in the shower, and I thought it was a bit of dirt on my toe. It stuck. It was sucking the life out of me! I fainted. I remember everyone thinking I was being dramatic. Everyone thinks I’m dramatic. You’ve seen history, Hera. You know that drama is more than losing your mind at the sight of a creature that sucks the very flow of your body from you. Without consent. I hate when it’s without consent.

Athena, for that I pray to you sometimes. You gave me this quick mind, and three very clever kids. You want me to keep learning, understanding, absorbing… while these clever little foxes nip at my heels, sabotaging every moment. To be fair, though, they are all magical, beautiful creatures, and my life is lit from within as I watch them journey down this path of life. The kindness of Orpheus and his love gave me everything I needed to become the better self I am today. As usual, I did most of the work, but you made we dryads complex beings. Thanks.

I need to make you an altar. All of my books and I haven’t put any of them in a bookcase. They are strewn around the basement like… memories I don’t want to pick up. I hate picking things up. I’m flexible, I do yoga, but like Cinderella, I want to stab a bitch with a broken glass slipper when they imply I don’t do enough. I do everything. I love doing everything. Worship me like the fucking goddesss I am.

Time to put these wee foxes to bed. Orpheus is a bit tired, and has all the energy drained out of him. If there’s a bit of favor left in my pot, I’d pray for good night for all of us, and whaever sweet dreams we can muster.