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batarella · 4 years ago

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I Don’t Hate You - Part 15 (Jason Todd x Reader)

This is really heavy, folks. Please take note of the warnings. If you recently went through a horrible break-up and/or are sensitive to these kinds of topics, please be warned.

WORDS: 6661 WARNINGS: Heartbreak, Depression, Starvation, Smoking Relapse, Violence, Death

Masterlist

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

-----

April 23

This was exactly what he thought death would be. Someone like him, who fears it so much, who often goes out of his way to put his life in the kind of danger that renders his still ongoing life a sort of miracle, he always tried to envision what it would be like to cross the other side. Would it be just like being alive? Would you get to meet your loved ones and pass on to some heavenly afterlife? Would he be forgotten? Be nothing but plant compost and worm food for all eternity, yet still be aware of everything going around his rotting corpse?

Or, as he feared the most, would it just be a blank, empty state? A big black blob of nothingness? Is the end really the end? And does it mean he’ll be so consumed in an infinite black hole that eats up everything he’s ever stood to live for?

Because if it were that last one, he definitely was dead. Right now, lying soullessly against the headboard of his bed, legs on his torn-up mattress, eyes still locked onto the same, holed out wall across from him, this was death. This is an entirely new kind of emptiness.

It had been hours since he moved. It was already a good amount into the morning, and his room, or what was left of it, had been lifelessly staring back at him for all the hours he kept himself awake, staring, unmoving. There was practically no sign of a clear surface on the floor. Everything was either covered in broken glass, feathers from his pillows, books, debris, clothes. And the dust particles that had been floating around his room have been in plain sight since the sun started peeking through his broken window. He wasn’t bothered by the light spring cold, and the morning disgusted him.

But he didn’t even give it too much a thought. Emptiness was all there is. Nothing. Not a move. Not a word. He decided this, this darkness so blank that it consumes him, it was better than feeling any other shred of emotion there was. If he were to feel regret, or rage, or disgust, or plunge into that bottomless hole of self-hate and depression, he wouldn’t be able to handle it. He knew, just as he knew himself, that all those emotions would come crashing down on him once again just like it did last night, and he didn’t have anything much left in his room to destroy to at least have an outlet for it. But he wanted it all to ball up, never mind what happens after. He just wanted to stop feeling entirely.

“Master Jason, you’re late for school-“

Alfred stopped his tracks the moment he peered into his room. He looked at Jason first, looking like an exhausted, miserable mess, then everything else around the room. Alfred might have that idea that whatever his room looked like, it was exactly the same going on in his head. Beyond any sort of repair. Silent. The awkward kind of peace that came out as the aftermath of an extremely destructive quake of the earth no one anticipated.

He heard the butler close the door. Minutes later, he came back and placed a tray of food on a part of his desk that wasn’t so destroyed. Jason didn’t give him a single glance. He let the hours pass. He let himself starve and reach the point of sleepless exhaustion that his eyes were too painful to even move. Every part of his body stung.

With the avoidance of feelings, it came with blocking out all his thoughts as well. He knew damn well that if any image of you resurfaced into his head, that any syllable out of your voice he’d hear, he’ll tear his own scalp out. So no, he didn’t think of you. He didn’t think of anything at all. He didn’t think about how hungry he was, or how cold he was, or how much he needed to sleep. He let it all happen. He made everything stop around him.

This, he was making time stop.

It was him refusing to let the days go on, to let the hours pass, to let life continue as if nothing happened at all. He wanted everything to just stop, give him the time to cope, if he ever does learn to cope, and make everything around him just as empty and silent as he was. And there was no way he’ll go to the window, stare out at the sun and let it mock him with its reluctance to what he wanted.

He let his food go stale, his body ache at the lack of movement, at the pain in his stomach lurching and twisting. He let everything go on just as he wanted it. And the dust particles, the only thing moving around in his room, he wanted them to stop. If it were raining, he’d want that to stop as well. He just wanted everything to be just as unmoving as he was.

The world was never going to do that. It’ll keep moving on. No one is going to care. Nothing in the earth’s forces will care about how he didn’t want his life to go on just yet. It will always move forward. Time will always move forward. And all this will end up being a memory someday.

You will just be a memory. When at one point, he thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.

He closed his eyes, stopped another thought of you from surging in his head. No. Not yet.

When the sun fell, and his room plunged into darkness yet again, he heard three knocks outside his door.

Bruce. He could tell from how firm his knuckles were.

The lack of reaction must have sent Bruce away. He of all people would know how to leave someone alone when they needed it. At least he had that going.

Another hour later, Alfred came in to replace his food for the third time that day. He hadn’t touched even one of his meals.

Everyone went on with their lives. Bruce. Alfred. The sun. The earth. And when he took in the darkness once again, he knew life was still going on, days continued to pass. There was nothing he could do to make it all halt. It was just him, refusing to let things go.

The more his hunger worsened, his eyes hurting, his body in immense pain, not even his body was willing to pause for him. It was him against everything else. And what was he to do? Fight it?

He couldn’t fight this.

With the heaviest heart, Jason closed his eyes, and he fell asleep.

-----

April 24

He woke up after sleeping practically half the day.

And the emptiness had left. Despite his futile efforts. It had left sometime he was asleep. He couldn’t remember the nightmares he had, but his mattress was soaked with his tears and his chest was in immense pain, and it was shooting out to his limbs. His head was basically a rock he had to lunge around. Another meal was waiting for him at the table. And he still hadn’t eaten in two days. Everything around him hurt. His head, his chest, his stomach.

You, your face, everything about you, more than a year’s worth of memories, it all came to him. He no longer had the strength to enjoy the emptiness, to pretend any thoughts of you weren’t there at all. And now, he’d come to the point of exhaustion where he couldn’t hold back even just the thought of how you once snorted out a piece of your food one time when you had lunch together. He couldn’t stop the images of you laughing uncontrollably in bed when he wouldn’t stop tickling your stomach. Fuck, even just the way you scrunched up your nose, he couldn’t hold it back. they were far too strong, far stronger than he was now. Nothing stopped them.

And his sobs were inevitable. By then, the hours passed when he barely had any type of strength to stop the tears. A lifetime’s worth, most probably, because he couldn’t stop feeling you, seeing you. His mind wanted desperately to punish him for thinking he could possibly stop all this. He could still ignore the hunger, the dehydration, all the pain around his body. Because you, you, this was you trying to punish him for desperately trying to push you into the deepest black holes in his mind where you’d never be able to resurface.

You, placing your arms from behind him that time he thought he wanted to be alone, when in fact just the feel of you, your nose against the nape of his neck, it made everything so infinitely better.

“Your neck smells nice,” you said to him. His once tense muscles softened when he felt you breathe against his skin.

“Stop sniffing me.”

“No.”

You, rubbing your noses together in bed when you did nothing all night but hide under your blankets, turn on the flashlight on your phone and tell the most ridiculous stories until the sun came up.

“You remember those lights that make your room look like space?”

“Yeah?” you thumbed his chin. It was stuffy under the blankets but you hadn’t stopped laughing.

“Imagine that, but under a blanket fort bigger than this.”

“Make that blanket fort for me, Todd. I swear to God, I’ll marry you.”

Jason’s heart jumped, then he grinned so widely at that thought, turning off the flashlight and pulling you to his lips.

You, when you’d playfully wrestle him on the floor and he always ended up winning, pinning you against the ground, tasting the smile on your lips and letting your laughs vibrate through his mouth.

“Jay, will you let me win, for once?”

“No,” he kissed you again, still holding your hands at the sides of your head. Your lips were so soft, and his hand let go of yours and started wandering down to your bra.

You, with your voice. Your beautiful voice, just one of the reasons he fell in love with you so deeply, when he’d ask that you sing to him in your spontaneous car rides and he’d open up the window so everyone could see how unbelievably beautiful you were.

“If we never learn, we been here before

Why are we always stuck and running from

The bullets?

The bullets”

Jason had to keep his eyes on the road. He was staring at you way too much. He lowered the car window and you sang even louder. People gave you weird looks, but as long as they saw how beautiful his girlfriend was, nothing mattered.

You, when you got so angry at someone that he’d pull you to the side, hold your shoulders, rub them down with his palms and try to talk you out of it.

“Okay. That’s a time out,” he pulled you aside and let you sit on the stairs. You clenched your jaw, glaring at that person too stupid to cross your way, but you looked up at him and your face softened.

“Fine.”

You sat down, and he sat down with you. He placed his head on your shoulder and held your hand.

You, lying with him naked in bed and letting every inch of your flushed skin stick right up against his. His hands all over you, him moving inside you. Hearing your wonderful cries and moans.

You shivered, holding onto his hair, and he watched your face as you came apart. He could feel your high against him, and fuck, was it the most beautiful thing.

You fell asleep almost instantaneously, and he had you wrapped around his arms.

This. This was him torturing every part of himself for everything that went on. He let everything go through his mind like a fast-moving series of pictures. Every moment. Every single one that was in the back of his mind, some he didn’t even know he remembered, it all came to him so suddenly, like everything with you even before you were his, it was all there. In his head. He underestimated how much he cherished even the littlest things. He never thought he remembered this much about you.

But it was all here, coming to him at the worst time possible. And his cries, audibly sobbing into the mattress, everything hurt so much, nothing could possibly make this stop.

You. You. You. You will always be the best thing that ever happened to him, and the worst mistake of his life.

Because his mind was forcing down into his throat the fact that he was never going to relive all those memories ever again. None of them. Not with you. Not with anyone else.

A part of him he wanted to beat down to the ground looked up at his phone at the side table. The old one. Even with his strongest efforts, he ended up picking up the phone, turning it on.

Your name stared back at him, mocking him that he was always going to be this mindless pit of nothing too weak to do anything about it.

No. It was far too late.

The tears burst out of his eyes when he threw the phone to the other side of the room, shattering it into pieces. The tears never stopped, and once again, it was dark.

Another day passed. Everything was moving on. Except him.

-----

April 25

There were tears again. This time from the pain in his stomach.

It was twisting, pulling so much of his flesh that any move he made physically hurt. He clenched himself in the bed, doing everything he could to suppress the pain. But nothing worked. He buried his face into the sheets and cried. He never once cried from physical pain. And now, without an ounce of strength left in his body, almost everything around him made him bawl his eyes out.

It was probably noon now, because Alfred walked in, holding a new tray of food.

He took one look at Jason and sighed.

“Master Jason, you have to eat.”

He grunted, his hands clutching his stomach. His lips were severely dried out and his skin was extremely pale. Slowly, he craned his head up at Alfred.

“Soup, toast, and eggs. Easy for digestion.”

He turned to the tray. He was so hungry he swore he’ll pass out if he refuses to eat again. His body needed twice the nutrition than the normal person.

“Also, Master Jason. Your school called this morning. You’ll have to come back to class eventually.

“No.”

First thing he’s said in three days.

Alfred bowed slightly at him, then left the room.

He kept staring at the food, calling out to him like it was gripping his chin and luring him in despite the otherwise bland aroma.

Fuck this.

Jason finally stood up from his bed, moved his legs as slightly as he can to hold back the pain, and walked over to where the food was. He smelled like shit, too. But he’ll have to be hauled up by the strongest man alive if they expected him to take a shower right now.

He didn’t take a seat. He didn’t lie on the floor. He stood on his feet, took the bread, took as little bites as he could, drank half the soup, and finished most of the eggs.

His stomach was clenching even more than before, and he leaned against the table, barely holding himself up at all. He was done. He wasn’t eating anymore. All this was hurting far too much.

Jason fell to the floor and he inched himself to lean against the wall.

You’d be disgusted at the sight of him, or laugh at just how much he’d destroyed himself after just three days. You and your endless supply of mean comments and catty remarks would beat up just about everything he still had going on inside him. Fuck, he hated you. He never hated someone so much in his life. He hated what you did to him, as if his life wasn’t already shitty enough. You and your fucking irritating shrieks just had to come in and ruin everything he actually had going on. He never should’ve met you, stayed away from you instead of taking your spice as something to be intrigued about. He should’ve continued to hate you as he initially did when you first met.

He shouldn’t have let it evolve into anything. He only should’ve hated you the past year.

Another knock on the door.

“Master Jason, I hope you don’t mind, I took the liberty of fixing your phone. All your data is in there. You’ll need it.”

Jason was right by the door, and the old man placed his phone on the table, nodded at him, then left.

It was the newer model, looking unscathed without a single crack on the screen.

He knew he shouldn’t.

Fuck, everything the past two days will be for nothing.

As if he made any kind of progress. He only ate so he wouldn’t die.

He shouldn’t.

But he really wanted to.

He took the phone, unlocked it, and his wallpaper already made him choke.

You and him on the bed, with you biting his cheek and him laughing, smiling at the camera. You wore his hoodie, one of the many hoodies you stole from him, and he had that little crinkle in his eyes that only ever showed up at times when he was truly happy.

He let the hate pull through. He let himself remember all the pain, the unnecessary fighting, all the things he’s always grown to get annoyed at-

Oh, who the fuck was he kidding. He couldn’t hate you even if he tried.

Your flaws were a part of you and it only made him love you more. Nothing irritated him. He could fight with you all day and he’ll do it again the next day. You never once made him wish he wasn’t at your side, never once did you push him to the point where he’d rather do anything else other than laugh and talk endlessly with you, didn’t matter what it was about. He can listen to your angry screams all day and still kiss you like nothing happened.

He scoffed at himself. Like he could succumb to all that in an attempt to forget about you.

He knew he shouldn’t do it. But the part that missed you terribly, the part that always admitted to still being hopelessly in love with you, pushed him to do it. He opened his photo albums.

The first photo was the most recent. When you went to explore an abandoned mansion about fifteen minutes away from Wayne Manor. An old neighbor of the Waynes that had to leave the house from bankruptcy. It was just as large and grandeur, and you both ended up dancing around the old ballroom like goofs. The photo was of you when you were twirling around in a dark grey dress.

The next was of him when you took his phone and started spamming his albums of him asleep. His mouth was open wide, and he was drooling on the pillow. He remembered waking up and wrestling you down on the bed when you got caught.

He swiped more.

You eating across from him on a dinner date. From your birthday. He took you everywhere you wanted. And it lasted all throughout the night, taking you home when it was already morning. Your hair was beautiful, covering half your face when you bashfully looked down. Your lips were a deep red, and you looked gorgeous.

Another of you and him, when you went to the Christmas Market like you did on your first date. You wore a beanie, and he was completely covered up with his scarf. You took that selfie even with your shaking fingers and he remembered laughing when you dropped your own phone, taking a whole minute trying to pick it up from the ground from all the snow around.

Tears had long fell on the side of his face. His heart. Warming up the way it was supposed to be when he was happy. And he was smiling, staring at your face like you were the single more perfect thing in the world.

And you were.

Then he kept swiping, his finger stopping at a picture of you barely having anything on.

He choked on his breath. He knew what else he had saved. He saved copies into a specific album with a passcode locked specifically for nights when he wasn’t with you and was feeling particularly lonely and excited.

Gulping down, he swiped.

Fuck.

Your lips between your teeth.

Swipe.

Your tongue peeking out.

Swipe.

Your naked body on the bed.

Swipe.

Your ass bent over.

Swipe.

Your bare chest.

Swipe.

Your wet, needy p-

He had to fucking stop.

He turned his phone off, then stuffed his face into his hands.

All that. It was only ever going to exist in photos. It was all he’s ever going to have with you now. But your looks, it was just one thing about you he wanted to hold onto. The pictures can't give him the feel of your skin, your lips, your hair. It couldn’t give him your addicting scent when he inhaled into your head. It couldn’t speak out, tell him that you loved him.

And none of that was ever going to come back.

You weren’t coming back.

But, somehow, if the you he had in his arms just months ago were to tell him anything now, you’d tell him to get up, fix his bed. And tomorrow, he’ll get out of his room and go to school.

Jason, focusing on that voice of yours, stood up from the floor, then started to pick his sheets from the ground.

-----

April 26

Never in his three years at the manor did Bruce Wayne, his supposed father, drive him to school all the way down to the gates.

But Bruce must have either felt guilty for only sending Alfred into his room for three days instead of checking on him himself, or just wanted to make sure Jason actually went to class. Probably the latter.

“Call me if you need anything, Jason.”

He got out the car, sighed, and before he closed the door, he managed to nod at Bruce. “Thanks.”

He shut the door, then turned around.

The campus. The sun. The people.

Everything went on as it should. No one gave him a second glance. No one looked just as miserable as he was. This was the world’s way of telling him he really was alone in this, that nothing was ever going to stop for him even if he tried his hardest at stopping the hours from ticking by.

And it was all too bright. Too fast. People were walking at a noticeably faster pace expecting him to move along with them. People were smiling, laughing so hard it echoed throughout the driveway. Some were running, some reading while running. He saw couples hand in hand. He saw teachers walking by. Everything was just the way it was the last time he was here.

His chest started heaving. Everything was too much. And the thought of going into that school and possibly seeing you-

No. He wasn’t doing this. This was bullshit. All of it.

Jason turned the other way from the school, all the way down to a nearby alley at the back of the building. There was a dumpster there, and before he met you, he often went here on days when he wasn’t really feeling it.

He realized it had been almost two years since he last smoked.

Well, that streak ends now.

The darkness in the alleyway somehow gave him a strange, welcoming comfort. This was something he was more used to. And if it meant staying here for the rest of the day, go back to his sulking and sitting and staring into nothing at all the whole day, then so be it.

From a pocket in his bag, he pulled out his box of cigarettes and lighter. He placed one in his mouth, lit it up, then inhaled the deepest breath he could.

Jason leaned against the wall, looking straight up at the sky. Then he breathed out the smoke and watched it disperse into the clearer air. He closed his eyes. He let his lingering thoughts of you subside for just a moment. He let the smoke calm his nerves, calm his head. He let the light spring cold nip at his cheeks.

He finished a single stick in a few minutes, then he started pulling out another.

He still had the whole day here before he could go home. He could walk out of here, go into the city and hang out somewhere else where being caught didn’t mean immediate expulsion. But he knew firsthand that absolutely no one came into this part of the alley. No one who’d reprimand him, to be exact. A janitor caught him once or twice, and all he did was nod at him and be on his way.

This was all the way back when he didn’t have you to console him at his worst. When he didn’t have you. The him before you. And here he was, back to where he started.

Another stick down. He needed another one.

He breathed the smoke out his nostrils. And when he watched the smoke in the air, he could have sworn he saw your face somewhere like corrupted static. But days of endless tears had him run out, most probably for the next few hours. He expected to go back home and cry the whole night away. Fucking hell, this must have been years-worth of tears held back.

Just as he closed his eyes to let the smoke consume him, he heard a voice come in to the alleyway.

“Jason?”

“Shit.” He flinched, fumbling to throw his cigarette on the ground and cover it with his foot.

But it was just Penny.

He rolled his eyes. “What?”

“You're back in school.”

“Sure.”

“Won't you go to class?”

“No.”

He pulled out the last stick he had in his box and lit it up.

“Gonna rat me out now?”

“No. And don’t worry. I know how to keep secrets from faculty.”

Of course, she does. Penny was your friend. Half the shit she’s seen you do would’ve sent you to prison by now.

“The Vice Principal called all your friends to look for you. Even me.”

“Well, you found me. And there’s no way I’m letting you take me to Watson.”

“Actually.” Penny walked over to stand in front of him. “Vice Principal Watson quit her job. She had this whole speech about how much she wanted to help troubled people. The new Vice Principal wants you in his office.”

“I’m not going.”

She turned to the ground.

He wished Penny didn’t grow so silent. He knew there was so much pity behind it, and the last thing he wanted was for anyone to look down on him with pity. She rocked back and forth in her shoes, and with her sweet voice, she spoke.

“I heard what happened.”

Jason turned away from her and breathed out another cloud of smoke. He made sure she didn’t see the look in his eyes. Before he’d fall too weak to stop himself from crying again.

“You okay?”

He took the cigarette off his mouth, holding it between his fingers. “What does it look like?”

Penny sighed. “I’m really sorry-“

“Don’t. Just leave me alone.”

She looked down at her hands.

“You’re exactly like Y/N… You’re both so mean and bossy...”

He rolled his eyes again, shaking his head. He knew she was just trying to help. But the last thing he wanted was to talk to anyone. He might, someday. But right now, he really just wanted to be alone.

And at the mention of your name, he really, really needed to be alone.

“If it means anything, I lied about the Vice Principal asking me to look for you…”

He quirked up a brow. “The fuck you talking about?”

“Y/N asked me…”

He dropped the cigarette in his hand.

Knowing you, you definitely asked Penny to report if he was around. Knowing you, you’d rather sulk up in bed than to be in the same building as him right now.

“Don’t tell her. Please. She told me she’ll kill me if she knew I told you. But you just looked so sad and I-“

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

He cleared his throat, watching the clouds above just to keep himself from sinking in too much to his overtaking thoughts.

“I’ll go now. Take care, Jason.”

“Wait.”

He knew he shouldn’t. But he wanted to. He cared too much. Still, despite everything.

“How is she?”

Penny looked at the ground.

“Penny…”

“She told me not to talk to you.”

“Just tell me-“

“She’ll kill me.”

“Just don’t tell her. You’re worried about her, too.”

“I am…”

Penny looked around. No one was around them. She bit her lips and started fiddling with her yellow sundress.

“She hasn’t come to class. She barely eats. She won't talk to anyone, not even her mom. She locks herself in her room and she still hasn’t come out. It’s really bad, Jason. Just this morning, she texted how you were.”

He bit his lips.

Maybe you asked because you wanted to know if he was okay, not just so you could stay away.

He didn’t know what to think. You were unpredictable that way.

And of course, you dealt with this exactly the same way he did. And it worried him. A lot.

“You can tell her I’m not around.”

She shrieked, her feet trembling on the ground. “I can't lie to her again.”

“Fine. Tell her whatever you want.”

Penny nodded. “I will!”

Jason sighed and looked out into the wide open plane next to the school. The grass was green now, unlike that beautiful autumn brown when you and him were standing nearby, hugging after he gave you that Edgar Allan Poe book.

“I hope you’ll do okay, Jason.”

Penny, little happy Penny, then gave him a hug, to which he didn’t return, then started to walk out the alley.

“Penny…”

He was glad they got to be friends overtime, otherwise this would have been too much to ask. Hell, anything would be too much to ask.

But he needed the assurance.

“Take care of her for me, will you?”

She smiled at him, nodded, then walked away.

----- April 27

He knew, deep in the last sane parts of his mind, that this was the worst idea.

For one, it was downright wrong and creepy. You’d murder him if you found out. Not that you probably would find out, but he still hadn’t figured out how you knew about him being Robin. He should be giving you more credit than he actually does. So yeah, this was a bad idea. You’ll never forgive him. Bruce and Alfred will look down on him. The whole world will hate him.

But he’s been meaning to check on you, not just from someone else’s words, but with his own eyes. He really needed to make sure you were okay. That you weren’t hurting yourself too much. And he knew you were hurting yourself. Just like he was. He couldn’t bare the thought of you suffering. Despite it all, despite everything, he loved you all the way to the ends of the farthest stars. The last thing he wanted was for you to never get back on your feet.

And from what he was about to do, what he planned on doing right after this, he was sure seeing your face just one last time would give him some kind of closure.

So he had to do this. For himself. Just once.

Hoodie over his head, hands stuck to his pockets, Jason climbed up the fire escape on the building across your apartment and crouched over the rooftop ledge.

He peered over and found your room, the window wide open, and he could see inside. He could see you.

You…

Jason bit back his tears.

He was basically doing this to hurt himself. And seeing you like this, it was the kind of hurt he wouldn’t wish onto this worst enemies.

Your room looked just about as wrecked as his. Clothes, books, and other things all over the floor as well. Only your bed wasn’t completely destroyed. He could only see so much, but he could see enough.

You were asleep, lying on the bed without a blanket. You were crouched over, hugging yourself. Your eyebrows were furrowed and you were stuffing your face into a pillow. Your body looked limp and lifeless, but he could see your back slowly rising to your breaths. You looked cold.

And broken…

Even from standing so far, he could tell you were crying even in your sleep. He knew the details on your face enough, memorized them to the point where he could tell what you were thinking just from looking at you. And you looked hurt, so hurt to the point where it was hurting him back.

He felt tears incoming, and he closed his eyes, letting them seep through.

So desperately he wanted to climb to your room, pull your blanket over you and make sure you weren’t cold.

And, if the stars aligned, you’ll wake up, see him, hold him, kiss him, and this whole nightmare would be over.

But he hurt you too much…

He was going to hurt you again if he did that.

Eyes watching you so longingly for hours on end, Jason felt every bit of his heart break, even more than he thought it already had. His lips were trembling, eyes shaking, his hands were sweating off his palms. Every beat in his chest hurt. This was finishing up what was already so broken.

He wanted you to be okay, to live the life you deserved.

He wanted you to go to College of the Arts, be the most talented singer there was, the singer he knew you were, and blow everyone away with your incredible talent. He wanted you to be so successful that you’ll never once look back to how it was to be if he and you lasted. He wanted you to have that family you always wanted, grow to be so old you wouldn’t be able to walk, but still have enough sass in you to have the mind you had right now. He wanted you to be so happy that you’ll never have to remember him, wishing things were different.

He wanted everything for you…

Even if it meant it wouldn’t be with him…

So now, this is how he’s going to be. He’ll watch you from afar, take care of you in all the ways you didn’t know. You’ll hate him for that. And you’ll drive him away for sure. But this is the only way he’ll be able to cope. He’ll always be there. Watch you. Be far enough away to stay out of your life, but close enough to make sure that life was what you deserved.

It’ll hurt more than anything in the whole world, but eventually, you’re going to find someone else, someone to repair what he left so broken, and make you so happy that you’ll wish you never met him. He’ll have to watch you hold someone else’s hand, kiss their lips, hold them in your arms just as you did with him.

He’ll have to watch you marry someone else. Spend the rest of your life with them the way he always wanted with you.

And… as much as it stung, he wished that for you. He wanted that for you.

But he’ll be there for you. No matter what. He always will.

“I love you…”

He knew you’d never hear him, but he still wanted to say it while he was looking at you. And he pretended to hear it back from your sweet, perfect lips.

Jason looked away, wiped the last of his tears with his sleeves and focused on the ground before his heart would continue to break even more.

Now, he had something else to do.

Now, there was nothing holding him back.

Not Bruce. Not you.

Nothing was going to stop him now.

Jason pulled out a black domino mask from his pocket. He stared back into the white eyes, feeling it mold into his hand. It slowly started to rain, and the droplets started seeping through his clothes.

It wasn’t much about you as it was about him. And now, he might as well take advantage of this deep, angry hurt and bring something good out of it.

He’ll have to run away from home after this. He was sure of it. Bruce would never take him back in.

Not after he kills. Intentionally this time.

So, with all the strength he’d mustered up,

Jason put on the mask, took his hoodie and jeans off and let his cape flow from his shoulders to the ground.

Robin saw the light of the moon just one last time.

----

“Thirty-six…”

“Thirty-seven…”

“Thirty-eight…”

“Thirty-nine….”

“FORTY!!!”

His eyes were too swollen for him to see anything in front of him at this point.

“Sixty-two…”

A tooth fell out. That was the third one that night.

“Ninety-seven…”

Killing the clown. By himself. Who was he kidding?

“One hundred twenty-five…”

His laughter. His horrible, horrible voice.

The crowbar hit the side of his head and everything went black for the shortest moment.

“Don’t die on me just yet, boy wonder…”

His demonic, pale face, blood red mouth and dark eyes. The monster took him by the face, and Robin spat at him.

Another hit to the ribs. All of them would have been broken by now.

He coughed out blood and stayed as still as he could, drowning everything around him. But each time the crowbar snapped at his bones, he ended up tasting more of his blood.

Why can't he just die? Why isn’t his body giving out yet?

Almost two hundred hits, then Joker stopped.

“Well, I’m bored…” He threw the crowbar to the floor. “I have to give it to you, Robin, you pack quite the fight- HAHAHAHAHAHA!“

He no longer heard what he said. He just felt every bone in his body break and his breath being stopped by his own blood clogging his throat and nose.

He heard the door of the warehouse close shut.

Robin, shaking on the floor, looked up and around him.

His communicator. It was thrown just a few yards away.

He inched on the floor, so slowly that each movement he made broke yet another bone in his leg and arms. But he kept going. He kept his eyes on the tiny earpiece, his hands still tied together.

And when he got to it, he placed it on his head, flinching at the broken bones in his ear being pressed on.

“S-send coordinates to B-Batman…”

He laid on the floor, his ribs tearing at his flesh every time he breathed.

He was going to die.

A beeping sound.

He looked to his left.

A bomb.

His worst fears. Worse than he could ever have imagined.

He was going to die.

He swallowed, eyes on the painful white light in the ceiling.

“Record v-voice message to Y/N…”

He heard his communicator click.

The beeping, it was getting faster.

“Y/N…” he whispered.

“I-“

-----

I DON’T HATE YOU - MASTERLIST

------

everyartistwas-firstanamateur @sarcasmismyfirstlove @damned-queen-of-gotham @idkmanicantenglish @wunderstell @birdy-bat-riya @get-loki@everyday-imfangirling @comic-nerd-dc @multifandoms916 @icequeen208@offendedfishnoises @egdolan @xemiefx @arkhamtoddler @elsenthal@mythicbitchx @supremehaunter @ burning-alive @lucy-roo roseangel013bf @ loxbbg reclusive-chicken-nuggethttp-cherries shadowsndaisiesriver9noble zphilophobiazannoylinglyaries @knightfall05x @l-horizon11

#jason todd #jason todd x reader #jason todd angst #batarella #batarella fluff #batarella angst #i don't hate you series #i don't hate you #jason todd x reader series #jason todd reader insert #batarella series

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babe-of-swoles · 3 years ago

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This post is a dream I had (last night) that I've organized into making sense. So here is the dream as a short story.

The Dream:

There's a hole in my yard. It's not big, maybe the size of a largish pumpkin, or a very ambitious watermelon. But, it's deep.

How deep does it go?

Most of the time, I hardly notice it there. I've planted some trees around it, alder, and birch. Aspen too. I don't want anyone wandering into it.

But I always know it's there. Like a whisper.

Like a game of hide and seek, when you're hidden, and your friend is searching nearby. They walk out of sight, but you feel them.

It's so hot today. It's cooler near the hole...

There's a mist around it. Sometimes. Sometimes not, just dappled.sunshine. so inviting. So benign.

How deep is it?

I piled up the compost around the hole, like an anthill. The shit gets scattered again each night, so it's clear. The grass grows a little taller, a little greener, so you think maybe there's a spring.

Can you hear the water?

It's been years since I found it. I hardly remember how I got the house, not from someone, an auction maybe, or an easement.

But I found the hole on a summer day when the grass was dry and yellow like hay, with a sweet smell in the air of all the nectar the bees were too full to drink, with the saltiness of grasshopper tobacco overlaid.

The first time I looked in,

Look at it

it was cool inside, no mist, lined with dark rocks like the basalt that formed the cliffs against the sea near home. There were spiderwebs in the corner, and lush moss, and something dawn where the sun hardly reached that might have been a key.

I've always loved keys.

I almost climbed down. I thought about it, scurrying down the rocks like I'd done as a kid back home, but I was a hey from gardening, and wearing the wrong shoes, and it probably wasn't a key always, and what would it even unlock.

And when I looked again, it wasn't at all like that. It was dark, and swirling, and sod-sided.

You should have climbed in.

I tried covering it over, like you do with an old well. The corrugated tin must have blown away in a storm. I piled stones like a cairn, and they scattered by night.

So the trees, and the compost.

I began planting flowers around it. Not pretty enough to be plucked, just, enough so people would feel guilty trampling them. Pansies. Low growing phlox and clover. Roses.

They grew so well near the hole.

Imagine how well they would grow inside.

I was afraid to eat the strawberries I'd planted. Afraid to taste the honey from the bees that nested in a tree I couldn't remember planting, too old to be mine, but it was there, old like the house, though there was a time it hadn't been.

I used to have neighbors. Not close, but sometimes I'd see them, walking the dogs, or the children riding bikes down the old road. The pavement was pale gray, and cracked all over.

I used to warn them. "Watch out for the hole" I'd say, "it's real deep you could break something."

But the kids would come at night and dare each other to throw rocks in, or bottles, and then they'd kneel around the edges, listening for the sound of it hitting the bottom.

Can you see the bottom?

And then they'd shine a light down, and lean in and in and in and in, until up became down.

Sometimes no one came out. Sometimes, what came out looked like them, but wasn't. They moved wrong. Their skin wasn't quite the same color. Their hair was longer, much longer, and their teeth were sharp and spaced apart, like a shark, or a mole.

When things came out, they hungered for blood. They rooted through the compost for bugs and worms and shoved them by the fistful into their mouths, or climbed the stone face of the house to eat the eggs and baby pigeons from their nests.

They called to the neighborhood dogs, with voices like frightened rabbits, and bit through their ribs while they howled in silence.

I used to warn people. But that made them curious.

I built hives for the bees, and planted more flowers. Their hum kept people away, mostly.

One day, I dropped a plank across the hole. It unbalanced, tipped in, and when I pulled it out, the end has grown roots, pale, shining white.

I planted it, and it grew, so quickly.

There are other miracles here.

I began bringing things, dead branches, plants and leaves, and settling them around the edges, so they'd have roots in the mornings. Turning my garden into a grove, into a forest.

They couldn't wander in if they couldn't walk.

But sometimes the trees moved. Some days they were thinner, sparser. A stand of saplings spaced wide apart. Others they were old and gnarled, with brush grown high between them, vines snaking up their trunks, and deer tracks, narrow and winding, paths so thin you could only walk them placing one foot directly in front of the other, arms up and bracing you against the trees so you wouldn't lose your balance and fall into the brambles, the blackberries, the roses so old their vines were like wood.

But you could walk them.

One year there were so many butterflies. Not monarchs, but orange. Smaller ones, I've forgotten their name. They flew like a flock, like a swarm, landed along the branches of the maples, and weighed so heavy on the flowers that the stems broke.

I think it moved sometimes, the hole. It was always in my garden, always where you could see the stone face of the house, always just past where the shadow of the peak of the roof could reach at it's longest, but... Not always in the same place.

I'd forget where it was, exactly, but just know the feeling of being close, and then suddenly it was there but a little to the side of where I expected.

"Your garden is really pretty." The girl was young, a teen. Or maybe twenty? Not more than thirty. "I'm sorry it's so overgrown. Do you need help with it?"

My voice sounded so much older when I said hello, as if I'd lived here years and years, but it couldn't have been more than a few days.

She started by pulling weeds. The dandelions. The Goatheads. The vines that choked out my old trees so long ago. Or was it yesterday?

She brought lemonade some days, or watermelon slices. Sometimes we didn't even work in the garden, just sat on the largest of the old cairnstones, and talked about the birds that flitted through, her classes at the community college, the shapes of the clouds, and the men she could almost fall for, but not quite.

But all good things come to an end. And one day she found the hole.

"please," I whispered.

Her green eyes stared into the depths, and light flickered and rippled over her face, as if reflected on waves. "It's beautiful." She breathed.

"I know it is." My bones ached, "but you can't go in."

"only for a moment," she stepped down, and her foot stopped as if on a stair. Down again, and again.

You could come too.

I went into the house, where all my things were dusty and faded. I hadn't opened that closet in years, where I kept it, but the axe inside was sharp, and shining.

My trees looked so young through the windows, and I felt young and strong. I waited through the witching hours, and just before dawn she came, crawling in all fours like a wild thing, scurrying sideways and catching squirrels in her teeth to eat.

I sighed with a heaviness in my heart beyond measure. It was time.

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danbensen · 4 years ago

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August-2030

The sun is hot on my back, and my thighs burn with the effort of holding this position. My back doesn’t hurt, though. Those stretches work.

My face is full of leaves. They come in triplets, saw-edged, each the size of the space between my thumb and forefinger. Hard, unripe berries tap against my glasses. Somewhere too close, a yellow-jacket buzzes.

I put one hand down and reach with the other into the shadows, scattering leaf-hoppers. The sweat sticks to the inside of the glove as I squeeze the handles of the garden sheers. A growing resistance, then a dull snap, and a brown, prickly cane shudders behind the leaves.

The dead cane tears away from the bush like velcro, exposing a patch of soil, the wall of my parents’ house, and a small volume of empty space, dangling with raspberries.

I grab one and put it in my mouth. It tastes like the dirt and leather on my glove, ash from the recent forest fires, and decades of piled summers.

Raspberry canes take a year to grow up from the root, another to produce fruit, and then they die in the third. My job is to clear out the dead canes of last year to make room for next year’s shoots. I’m also exposing more of this year’s berries to my daughters and their cousins.

I wanted to do this in my garden, which is just old enough to have its own raspberries. They’re planted in rows away from the house, just the way my grandpa had them. And I have already done the chore of cutting out that patch’s first crop of dead canes. But my kids were firm: if we were going relive someone’s childhood today, it would be theirs.

I decide that my back is hurting after all and slowly stand.

My parents’ garden hasn’t changed much since Julia was a nine months old and pooping in the wading pool. The lilacs have grown thicker, the apple tree has died. The bird bath is now at our summer house three valleys south of here. Julia manipulated my parents into giving it to her.

But there’s still the enormous rhubarb plant next to the compost. To the east, beyond the rhubarb, the hill slopes down to the Interstate, the web of aerial traffic, and the houses, condos, restaurants, business incubators, network hubs, and micro-factories of Lolo, Montana.

Julia and Mikhaela move through the garden like a hummingbird and a lawnmower, respectively, with the other teenagers strung between them. Some are talking or doing incomprehensible things with their key-rings and charm-bracelets, but an impressive amount of berry-picking is still getting done. Mikhaela said she wanted to make a pie for the party, and they already have enough for two.

I glance to my right, where my younger daughter is methodically mowing her way down the raspberries. I can’t tell whether she’s listening to an audiobook or sharing her POV with some other kid in Saudi Arabia or just thinking her thoughts.

I remember my grandpa when he drove me home from the airport one summer. I had wanted to read a fantasy book, but he wouldn’t let me. He kept me talking that whole drive.

“What did you learn in drama camp today?” I ask her.

“Diegesis,” she says.

There’s a conversation starter! But my attempt at a follow-up question is interrupted by a delivery drone descending onto our lawn. Its brown plastic carapace is emblazoned with the logo of the nearest hub, which means only that this isn’t a delivery from a Lolo caterer or micro-factory. The kids could have ordered something from Seattle or New Zealand, and it would still get routed through the local hub. My guess, though, is that it comes from Sofia, Bulgaria.

“What did you forget to pack, Yooli?” I shout at my older daughter, Julia, as she runs toward the drone, waving her wallet-key.

Last summer, Julia packed almost nothing for our trip to the US. She told us she thought it would be easier to just mail herself stuff when she remembered she needed it. When we saw the international shipping bill, we got her her own bank account and wallet-key, which might have been the whole point of the exercise.

The drone sees her key, releases the box it was clutching, and zips back into the smoky air to join the sky-traffic.

“I didn’t forget anything.” Julia shakes her hair out of her face and lets go of her key-ring, which zips back to her belt on its recoil line. The belt is bright pink, with green and blue Kazakh embroidery patterns. Each key on the ring is a different color and pattern, for a different digital purpose. “This is for our party.”

She pulls open the self-storage box, revealing an irregularly-shaped pink crystal the size of a melon. It’s a salt-lamp.

Generational cycles are funny things. Growing up means doing whatever your parents didn’t do, but we all have a soft spot for our grandparents. I want to be firm and practical like my grandpa, Mikhaela wants to be strong-minded like my mom. My older daughter Julia, for her part, cultivates a free romantic spirit like my mother-in-law. This, for me, is an endless opportunity for spiritual growth.

“Your salt-lamp.” I repeat. “Why do you need a salt-lamp for a party? Why do you need your salt lamp? You could have ordered a brand new one and it would have been a lot cheaper.”

I know what she’ll say next: “it’s my money. You‘re the one who told me to get a job and now I have eighty.” I open my mouth to tell her that she still ought to save her money for something important. And what is it exactly that she’s doing in these eighty jobs anyway?

But Julia hoists the salt-lamp and says, “it has to be this one. My friends and I licked it into just the right shape.”

I have no idea how to respond to that. I close my mouth and process data while my daughter skips away, tongue-sculpted lamp cradled in her arms. I’ve been out-maneuvered again.

I strip off my gloves and hat and go to find my wife.

Pavlina is on the balcony, sipping chilled white wine with her brother and sister-in-law. They’ve lived in California since the early 2010s, and in some ways they’re more American than me.

“I need to go to the teenager party,” I tell Pavlina.

“Zashto? Ti li si tineidjar?” Why? Are you a teenager?

Pavlina’s brother lifts a bottle of beer in my direction. “Ne trevozhi, bre. Veche si imam pushkata.” This is an in-joke.

According to Bulgarian tradition, Julia’s and Mikhaela’s first teenager party means we adults are all exiled here, to my parents’ house. We’re supposed to have a party, too, but I suspect it will be more like a military command center. Lots of tense pacing while we try to imagine what chaos is unfolding on the front lines.

“What are you talking about?” My dad appears from the kitchen with a tray of cheese and the tactical situation becomes more complicated. Neither of my parents approve of the teenager party, and we’ve been tip-toeing around the topic all week.

“We could be in the attic,” I tell Pavlina. “Or the basement.”

“That is where I’ll lock you when you go insane, yes,” she says.

Pavlina’s brother cackles and my dad says “What?” in a tone that means “I am playing the doddering cyborg grandpa, but I really am angry that you’re talking over my head.”

“It’s the teenager party.” I look out over the balcony, where our kids are doing incomprehensible and scary things in the yard below us. “I mean, what if something happens?”

My dad doesn’t say, “exactly! We have to cancel this whole barbaric ritual.” He says, “I’m worried too.”

“Yooli and Mishi will take care of it,” Pavlina says. “That’s what they’re learning to do.”

“What if someone brings dope?”

“They’ll tell him to smoke it outside.”

I check to make sure my mom isn’t in earshot. “What if things get…physical?”

“Zdravko and Boris are big. They’ll beat him up.” These are Julia and Mikhaela’s cousins, who seem to be engaged in some a virtual sword-fight right now. Mikahela is directing it.

“Now you say, ‘there can be only one sun, one moon, and one great khan!'”

I look around for support, but even my dad is nodding. “You don’t need to worry about boys,” he says.

I pick up a piece of cheese. “Well, at least I got them to pick raspberries with me. Mishi’ll make a pie.”

Pavlina looks serenely out at the Sapphire Mountains. “Sore wa kokuteiru no tame da to itta yo.”

‘She told me they were for cocktails,’ in Japanese, a language which nobody within earshot speaks but me and my wife.

I try to slow my breathing.

It isn’t just the underage drinking. It’s the social situation. My kids keeping secrets from me. Me keeping secrets from my dad. I reach down inside of myself for that still, small, voice. It says “be honest.”

“Mikhaela is making cocktails?” I say.

Everyone stiffens.

The US and Bulgaria have very different ideas about what constitutes proper behavior for teenagers and police officers. My dad, brother-in-law, and sister-in-law now all agree that the teenager party is a terrible idea.

Pavlina, meanwhile, looks steadily at me, letting me know that I have now become her opportunity for spiritual growth.

I put my cheese down on the balcony railing. “I’m just worried. Our kids are going to be alone in the summer house, which we just finished. They’re going to be drinking and smoking and licking salt-lamps.”

“Huh?” says my brother in law.

“What’s going to happen? What are we going to do when something does happen?”

“You’ll deal with it.” Pavlina declares, standing. “Nali si moyat mesten vodach?” Aren’t you my native guide? Another in-joke.

She pats me on the shoulder. “In the mean time, meditate on trusting your children, or at least trusting God to watch over them.”

“The God of fools and children,” I mutter. But that still, small voice speaks to me. “Go pick some more raspberries,” it says.

#mystuff #writing #aspirational fiction #science fiction #short story

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allenmendezsr · 4 years ago

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Aquaponics 4 You ~ 7.39% Conversions

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Imagine a Garden Where There’s No More Weeds or Soil Pests, No Tilling or Cultivating, No Fertilizer Spreading or Compost Shredding, No Manure Spreading or Irrigating, and No Tractor Shed Required…

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Dear Gardener,

Imagine you knew a secret about growing plants in a break-through new way… to the outside world your organic garden or farm would seem almost “magic”, Why? Because people almost never see you working in it!

While every one else works hard at planting, weeding…more weeding…, watering, fertilizing, composting,… and more and more weeding… You’re gardening from the comfort of your hammock.

What’s more… your plants grow twice as fast, and you can grow up to ten times more of them in the same area of space as your neighbors do. That means, if you’re growing lettuce, and have 10 square feet of space… your method grows as much lettuce as someone would with 100 square feet of space!

If this sounds like a dream, you may be shocked to discover that farms and home gardens like this already exist… and you can do it too.

If you want to transform your gardening, and possibly even your life forever, get a cup of tea or coffee, sit down, and spend the next 5 minutes reading this short story, this will be the most important letter you read this year, here’s why:

In the past several years, researchers from the University of the Virgin Islands have discovered and experimented with a break-through new way of growing plants organically .

The process is revolutionary because with it your plants grow 100% to 50% faster, and you can grow up to TEN times the plants in the same amount of space. How does it work? Basically, it turns normal gardening on organic super-drive as it feeds rich ALIVE natural nutrients to your plants 24 hours per day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

In 2006-2007, the ‘secret’ slowly started to leak out and people started catching on… converting gardens and entire commercial farms to the system.

On a recent visit to Hawaii, I discovered one family already applying this method, and its transformed their gardening, and their lives.

Using this method they grow over 4,000 pounds of organic vegetables per month… with only about 3,000 square feet of space. That’s is just about the size of a well sized yard!

They are producing so much food, they can feed their family with the food they grow AND recently got USDA Organic Certification and have started to sell their produce to local markets.

Now, if you’ve read this far, and you’ve grown plants before, you might think this sounds like science-fiction. Wait till you hear this:

This one family in Hawaii spends less than 1 hour per day.

Just to compare… a normal farm that produces 4,000 of vegetables per month would need about 3-4 hours of labor per day!

The only effort involved is in this system is setting it up initially and planting, and then, it runs on auto-pilot.

Here’s just a taste of what happens on this system, and what you’ll experience when you do this yourself.

There’s no more weeding . The system removes your need for pain-staking and annoying weeding. You get more freedom and enjoyment!

No more fertilizing or soil cultivation. In fact, the whole process of nutrient delivery to your plants, which is absolutely critical, is almost completely automated. It works without you, that’s the key of this system!

No more soil pests . The need for pesticides is eliminated , which makes it that much easier for you to have amazing plants and fruit without toxic chemicals.

It grows most plants twice as fast. Plant experts are shocked when they visit these farms at how fast plants grow. For example… lettuce, which takes 60+ days to mature, takes only about 29 days with this system.

You use up to 70% less Energy than conventional gardening!

All these things normally take up 90% of your time and effort and are hard work. This system takes them completely out of the equation, which is why with a home system you spend only minutes in daily maintenance, instead of hours.

Now wait… this sounds way too good to be true. It’s the opposite of everything gardening and farming is about. There’s got to be a fault somewhere, right?

People who see this ask this question all the time: “Where’s the fault? What’s the catch?”

However, the more you look at it, the more you realize that it’s actually the result of the what happens when you build something in balance with nature.

Here’s the secret how and why this works:

Imagine for a moment that you had the ability to connect to a plant’s roots…it’s life support system… and give it EVERYTHING it needs, 24/7/365 days a year. All the rich and alive nutrients, minerals and vitamins.

If you could do this… your plants would thrive like never before. This is what agriculture has strived to do since the beginning

In an attempt to try to do this in the past, ‘Hydroponics’ was invented. It’s a way of growing plants with their roots directly in water, the idea is that you can feed plants more directly with plant food being introduced directly to the roots, without soil.

To sum it up… it doesn’t really work. Yes, plants grow big fruit, but… it all tastes like water! It just doesn’t produce REAL nutrients for the plants, the plant is de-mineralized and ‘under-fed’.

Plus, you spend more money on plant food than you could imagine!

The University experimented with a solution to this problem… it was a huge success… and if you do it, it will turn your gardening world up-side down.

What the the University found was something amazing… There IS a way to get everything your plants need… directly to the roots… it’s free … and nature will do it FOR you….

The idea was so simple it’s mind-boggling… It’s about balance with nature , which is automatic, for example:

1. Trees provide us with Oxygen to breathe…

2. We breathe out Carbon-Dioxide, and…

3. In turn the trees breathe the Carbon-Dioxide… and breathe out Oxygen.

It’s automatic... we don’t have to think about where and how we’re getting our oxygen… it just happens.

Well, what if you could do the same thing for plants? So their food supply is automated. You can, with AQUA-PONICS. It is the combination of hydroponics with aqua-culture.

Aqua-Culture is the process of growing fish in a tank… and it has one big problem… Fish produce Ammonia, Algae, Minerals, and all kinds of other by-products that need to be

constantly filtered.

Wait a minute! Plants eat Ammonia, Algae, Minerals and Nitrates! Everything that fish produce naturally!

What if you connect the two together? This is where the magic of aqua-ponics comes in!…

If you connect the fish-tank water to the water of the hydroponics system… your plants get an automatic food supply of almost everything they need to grow from the fish water… and in turn… the plants filter the water for the fish.

It’s a win/win/win situation for everyone:1. The plants get rich alive nutrients around the clock.2. The fish are happy as their water is filtered by nature every day. 3. You get healthier plants (a lot more of them), and A LOT of benefits…

This way, your plants exist in a natural balanced relationship with the algae/fish, which makes them grow faster and healthier.

“Dear John,

Many thanks for creating such an informative and easy to understand system and videos. Aquaponics4you taught me more than I ever imagined about Aquaponic systems. I have learned things that are making a huge difference in my gardening. I would recommend your program to anyone, no matter if they have years of aquaponics experience of if they are complete beginners on the subject.”

[View Original Testimonial]

–Ben Simpson

“When my father was alive he was an avid gardener. He grew amazing vegetables and truly loved horticulture. Unfortunately, I was not able to get advice from him because he passed away before I found my green thumb. I have learned a lot of very valuable information from the Aquaponic4You Step-By-Step Program. My father incorporated much of the teachings that are taught within the program. It has given me a step in the right direction towards being able to be the great gardener. I want to thank you for the Aquaponic program.”

[View Original Testimonial]

–Joe Grey

[View Original Testimonial]

–Kevin

“When my husband, Ben, and I started gardening we thought that it would be easy and that we would be able to enjoy vegetables within a few weeks. Sadly, we were wrong. We could not figure out why we were not getting the beautiful vegetables we were hoping for. When we got your Aquaponics system we realized exactly what we were doing wrong. After incorporating your teachings we were able to see great results. I have recommended your system to all of my friends and family. We are hoping that we will be able to see even more vegetables in the next harves because we will continue to follow your teachings.

Thanks so much for creating such a great system, Gina”

[View Original Testimonial]

–Gina

* Testimonials Published With Client Permission.

If you’ve read this far, then you’re maybe starting to imagine or are getting excited about aqua-ponics! The best part is you can do this too, it’s easy, and you don’t need any experience.

You can do this on a budget, and build a mini-home system�� or scale it and build an entire commercial multi-acre system, it’s up to you!

You will get step-by-step video instructions on how to build your very own home made Aquaponic system. Its so easy that even your grandma can do it!

Here’s what you’ll learn with Aquaponics 4 You:

Up to 10 Times More Plants! With aquaponics you place plants closer together on a float system above the water, therefore it fits 10 times more plants in the same space! The roots of the plants are always in nutrient rich water and there’s no over-crowding! Inside the eBook you’ll find out exactly how to place the floats, which material to use, and how to plant your seedlings inside.

Step-by-Step Instructions! Start Yours Today! Inside the eBook you’ll find everything you need to make your own aquaponics system, including diagrams, explanations and instructions, every-thing is step-by-step, anyone can do this.

With the price-less advice inside you’ll avoid some of the few common mistakes, and be on your way to starting your system today!

No More Watering! The aquaponics system uses only 2% of the water normal gardening does… Because the water is constantly re-circulated , and you do not lose any to soil absorption. The roots of your plants are constantly submerged in nutrient rich water and you never have to worry about watering plants again.

If you pay for your water… imagine of how much money this can possible save you.

Multiple Sources of Income When you try the aquaponics system yourself, you’ll have more plants than you’ll know what to do with. If you decide to sell your vegetables …guess what… you also have fish to sell! The aquaponics system produces both plants and fish(You’ll learn all the details on this inside the e-book)

Grows Plants Twice as Fast Because your plants are getting rich alive nutrients such as algae from the fish, right at the root level , 24 hours a day, 7 days a week… plants thrive like never before. You won’t believe your eyes at how fast plants grow, and how great the fruit tastes! Inside the eBook you’ll learn all the critical pieces to make sure the roots are getting all the right nutrients from the aqua-culture.

Amazing Organic Plants! USDA Organic Certifiable Aquaponically grown produce tastes incredible , and it’s organic! Some commercial aquaponic farms have already gotten USDA Organic certifiable.

Uses 60%-70% Less Energy You save money and time with this system. The only energy involved in an aquaponic farm is electric energy to circulate water. Almost all your gardening expenses are minimized or diminished.

No More Weeding or Soil Work! Imagine no more weeding or fussing with soil, no more fertilizer or compost work. All this hard work is removed and automated by the nutrient delivery system. This is worth gold by itself!

No More Back-Straining Planting! Planting normally takes a lot of bending, not with Aquaponics . You’ll find out exactly how to plant your seedlings in the aquaponic floats, and how to make sure the roots get all the nutrients.

“After many failed attempts of building an aquaponic system. I was performing a search on the internet for information and found your site. I have never been so thankful to find a site before in my life. I learned so much through your guide and video. I have also been very impressed with your customer service. I have sent you many emails asking questions and you answered me back quickly. Thank you”

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–William B. White

“Till now I have followed many different classes on Aquaponics. Many use scientific verbiage that is difficult to understand at times. Aquaponics4Yous step by step is exactly the opposite! Your system was not only informative but also easily read because it uses a conversational tone that caught my attention and kept me wanting to read more. Thanks for creating a system that makes aquaponics fun and exciting.”

[View Original Testimonial]

–Dilan

“Many of my aquaponic plants had to suffer the ultimate sacrifice because of my lack of experience on the topic. But I found out I knew little to nothing about it. Just by looking at your website I quickly realized that I was completely ignorant and uninformed when it came to aquaponics. I knew right then and there that I needed to get a copy of your program – so that no more plants had to suffer because of my ignorance. From the very beginning I found your guide to be simple to understand. Saying that your program is worth the money is an understatement. The results that I have seen make it well worth far more than what I paid.”

[View Original Testimonial]

–James

“After many years of farming I fell upon health conditions that prevented me from being able to go to my farm anymore. I was devastated because I did not want to give up the one thing that I loved. While searching the internet, one day I came across your website. I was so excited to learn that there was an option available to me that would allow me to continue my hobby in my own home; without risking my health. After ordering, I am totally blown away with your knowledge on aquaponics and am very grateful for giving me what I love back!”

[View Original Testimonial]

–George

* Testimonials Published With Client Permission.

It doesn’t matter what you grow, whether you’re an experienced green-thumb or if you’re just getting into it, anyone can do this, it’s easy, and you can do it too.

Countless farms and gardens are now switching over to Aquaponics, the benefits are just too many. In fact, if you care about your garden, and your family, you cannot afford not to set up your first Aquaponics system as soon as possible.

Don’t wait until your neighbor is putting one together and you’re playing catch up!

Now for the surprise!

With this comprehensive book, Organic Gardening for Beginners, you can learn nearly everything you need to know to garden without the use of chemicals or other harmful substances! Learn organic gardening the simple way – with this amazing book! There are many things that organic gardening can give you.

If you ever wanted to revert back to the “old ways” of cleaning and of preventing pest problems-but didn’t want to sacrifice the efficiency and economy of chemical cleaners-this is the ebook for you..

Without the right tools and information, it could take you years to figure out the secrets to successful flower gardening. Everything you need to know about flower gardening is included in this special ebook.

Worm Farming is the clean, green and environmentally friendly. And it’s so easy that anyone can do it. But what’s more: you can earn a considerate amount of money by wormfarming. From only houshold waste the worms make you the best compost you can wish for!

If you have any interest at all in organic cooking… if you want to eat healthier and do your part to help the environment… or you are interested in growing your own organic foods… then this Ebook was written just for you.

Secrets to looking younger and feeling fantastic. Learn every thing about healthy eating.

Aquaponics 4 You comes jam-packed with all the step-by-step instructions, secrets and common mistakes. Just moments from now you will be on your way to up to ten times the plants, growing amazing organic produce faster, healthier, without weeding or messing around with soil fertilizers ever again.

This advice is certainly worth its weight in gold. Today, you can get instant access for a small one time fee.

60 Day 100% Money Back Guarantee

When you order your copy of Ultimate Home Aquaponics today, it comes with my unconditional 100% 60 Day Iron-Clad Money-Back Guarantee

If you follow the instructions in Aquaponics 4 You and don’t get the results we’ve talked about here with your plants: If you can’t use the step-by-step plans and instrucitons inside to build your first amazing aquaponics system and get an amazing yield with your first plants…

Then… simply send us an email, and your entire investment will be returned to you immediately.

You are about to get instant access to this best selling program even if it’s 3 in the morning

You are also covered with a 100% Money Back Guarantee – because I am sure that you will not regret your decision.

To get started, simply click here to order at the limited time price.

Aquaponics 4 You is in digital format (PDF) which means there is no need to wait for it to arrive. You’ll be able to start learning how to build your very own Aquaponic System in just minutes from now.

You’ll also receive the Aquaponics 4 You DVD to your Home

PPS. During this uncertain economic time, aquaponics is truly a life-saver, think of the added value this system will bring to you and your family… having up to 10 times more plants means you could more forward to self-sustainability…help family, friends, or even sell the food!

PPPS. Aquaponics is truly a revolution in gardening, if you don’t get on this amazing opportunity today, when will you? Please don’t miss out on this! Click here to grab your guide today.

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