#it was always pointed out and then after also..whining about 'botched' surgery.

[lemonkennedy]

i'm getting into schizo territory w this one, but i know a bunch of fucking liars, when they start talking about big nose appreciation. i was relentlessly bullied, because i didn't have the standard nondescript or the disney like pointy nose as an afab. i wanted a nose job since age 7. is it actually big tho? not at all, standard deviation and a bit of crookedness.

[timeisacephalopod]

Ball and Chain

So I read a thing a couple days ago that said a lot of IronStrange stuff is Tony centric, which is true for a lot of what I write too (seeing that Tony is my fav character) but I was like rude. So here’s a Stephen centric fluff piece that is inspired by me watching Say Yes To The Dress lmao. Also as usual with my writing Stephen is Asian (Nepali specifically).  (Fun Fact: Sushruta is the first doctor to have recorded a surgery, hence Stephen naming his dog that).

Stephen is sure Tony doesn’t mean anything by it and maybe he’s just used to being single, he’s been single most of his life so it’d make sense. But it just annoys him that Tony never says anything when people make jokes about his upcoming marriage to Stephen as some kind of evil trap meant to strip him of his freedom.

“I know it’s probably selfish,” Stephen tells Christine, “but its offensive to call me a prison to my face.” Tony always looks a little confused when people say it but he never actually says anything about it.

Christine frowns over her lunch, “actually that’s probably the least selfish thing you’ve requested of him,” she says.

“Alright, I know he’s afraid of dogs but I am not giving up my corgi! We’ve bonded,” he says. Accidentally because he’s never been a pet person but Wong had some puppies and decided Stephen’s place was a good place to get rid of one. In his defense after two hours Stephen finally understood that Brooklyn Nine Nine skit where Rosa claims she’d kill everyone in the room and then herself for the dog.

“Stephen, he was terrified of the dog and I told you I’d take it so you’d still see him and you told Tony to get over himself. You’re lucky he loves you because that was just insensitive,” she says.

“Well he likes the dog now,” Stephen mumbles in his defense. And by likes that mostly means Tony doesn’t run from the dog in terror anymore. Its not like the fear had been warranted anyways, Sushruta is harmless unless you’re a shoe.

Christine sighs, “because you forced him to deal with the dog instead of compromising. That was selfish when you had a viable solution to your problem and a terrified partner, but wanting Tony to point out that marrying you isn’t going to end his life or his freedom is pretty normal. I’ve always hated that, men treating marriage like its the end of the world when usually they’re the ones to ask. Besides, Tony doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to- he’s pretty famous for that so the jokes are extra stupid,” she points out.

Stephen prickles a little, “women make those jokes too,” he says- he’s heard them. Stupid reporters, he’s never liked them. None of them can ever relay his research in a way that’s actually accurate. Scientific journalism is an absolutely horrible field given how it botches the findings ninety nine percent of the time. He and Tony have bonded over it and the fact that neither of them are any good at explaining their research in layman's terms. Though they disagree that an expert should be able to do that- the entire point of an expert is that they know things others don’t, not that they should be able to teach all. Only some people can do what he can anyways, and the only person who’s a step above Tony is a Wakandan princess. He thinks Tony should give himself more credit.

“Really, Stephen? I’d like to point out that women are always the nags, the balls and chains, and the gatekeepers to freedom. There are cake toppers with brides dragging their husbands to the wedding- so yeah, women make the jokes too but they’re also mostly the butt of them and its usually guys urging their friends to run away. Guess you got relegated to the role of woman,” she says.

Stephen makes an offended noise, “how the hell did that happen?” he asks. First of all the entire point of his and Tony’s relationship is that none of them are women so how’d he get stuck in that role? Tony is shorter. And cuter. “This is because I’m Asian, isn’t it?” he asks, squinting.

Christine snorts, “actually I think it might have more to do with Tony being a living embodiment of every white male power fantasy ever and his fans don’t want to give up that toxic stereotype, but I guess it could be racism,” she says, trying at least to give him some credit.

“Once a fan mailed him a bag of his own hair. I think the fact that his name was ‘Gary’ says everything you need to know,” Stephen says. “And I am not a woman nor am I enacting some convoluted plot to trap Tony with marriage. Does the public know about divorce?” That and Christine made a point when she said Tony doesn’t do anything he doesn’t want to. And he proposed. Stephen had been mad about it because he’d been planning to and then Tony ruined his carefully thought out plans. He even used the dog in the proposal and it was so sweet he cried and now Wong has pictures he’ll certainly use to blackmail him later.

“Good luck to you, I don’t think I could handle dating a celebrity let alone one that nets me stupid jokes about how marrying said celebrity will ruin his life,” Christine says, shaking her head.

*

Stephen didn’t even want to do this stupid interview but Tony insisted, then brought up the dog when Stephen stuff refused. He mostly only agreed because Tony pointed out he’d been afraid of his own house for weeks before he finally got used to the dog and even then Sushruta is the only dog he doesn’t hate. Turns out he’d nearly been eaten by a dog as a child and Stephen felt a little bad about forcing him to deal with the dog so fine, he’ll do the stupid interview and deal with the stupid jokes about Tony’s freedom like he didn’t walk into this engagement himself since he asked but whatever.

When the stupid reporter makes the dreaded joke Stephen rolls his eyes on cue, letting out an annoyed noise but its Tony’s reaction that catches the reporter’s attention. “You must be straight,” Tony says, catching Stephen’s attention with it too because what’s that got to do with it? Which is what the reporter asks. Tony snorts, “only someone who’s had the benefit of knowing their right to marry is never in question would ever make such a fucking stupid joke,” he says, irritation written all over his features.

Oh, good point actually. Stephen never considered that because he’s never really considered himself the marrying type. But then neither had Tony and here they both are, quite smitten with each other.

“I... uh... that’s not what I meant,” the reporter stumbles out and Stephen rolls his eyes again. Sure it wasn’t, but he doubts there will be an answer if he asks what was meant by the comment.

Tony rolls his eyes too but its much more theatrical than Stephen’s, impressive considering how dramatic Christine likes to remind him he is. Personally he doesn’t think he’s that dramatic at all. “Sorry, but I fail to see how people consistently insulting Stephen to his face by acting like being married to him is some kind of hardship I’m going to have to face can be anything less than bullshit perpetuated by a group of people who’ve taken their rights to relationships for granted. I’m marrying Stephen because I love him, and I’m excited to spend the rest of my life with him even if I have to put up with his stupid dog. If I wasn’t happy about marrying him than I wouldn’t have proposed because unlike the general public I don’t think marriage is supposed to be a prison where couples suffer. And it helps that he’s good in bed,” he adds and Stephen lets out a sharp laugh.

“Yes, that’s right, I’m quite a catch,” he says, nose in the air. “And Tony is alright too,” he adds almost as an afterthought. He really is though, and he’s patient with Stephen in a way he rarely gets from others. Christine has told him not to take it for granted but Stephen already knows he takes full advantage of Tony’s patience. But he does appreciate Tony, really appreciates him because they have an understanding with each other that most don’t. He understands Stephen’s arrogance and his fears and he’s always so willing to help him when he needs it. And he can see when Stephen needs it. No one else can.

He looks over at Tony and smiles, knowing his love is translated in the look and Tony smiles back, emotion radiating off his features too. Stephen straightens a little and faces the reporter, “also, the only ball and chain in our relationship is stupid media personal such as yourself following us around all day snapping pictures and making stupid comments,” he says.

Tony lets out a sharp laugh, “god, I love you,” he says, weaving his fingers through Stephen’s.

“Well,” he says, “you are lucky to have me.” And he’s so, so lucky to have Tony too but he’s not going to say that to the cameras. People, contrary to what they might like to think, are not privy to their relationship.

Bonus Scene:

Tony didn’t want to get married in a church, he’s a fucking atheist and Stephen is agnostic, but his parents whined and cried until Tony finally gave up. Stephen, who’s much more used to fighting with his parents, had been prepared to drag it out longer but at the rate things were going they’d have to push back the wedding date because Stephen’s parents are more stubborn than Tony and Stephen combined. Which is frankly terrifying.

But here he is in what he has to admit is a pretty church even if he doesn’t believe in the deity its build to worship with Stephen standing in front of him and his dumb dog sitting between them, tongue lolling out of his face. That thing is plotting their deaths, Tony knows it, but when it eats them alive Tony will tell Stephen he told him so. 

The priest or whatever, the fuck if Tony knows, he just wanted to marry Stephen in peace before his parents got involved, prattles on until he gets to the part where Tony is supposed to do the vow thing. Tony repeats the words in a mostly empty way, knowing Stephen won’t care that he has no real interest in a religious ceremony that’s only taking place because his parents threw an epic fit at least until the part where he’s supposed to honor and obey Stephen?

“O-what?” he asks, giving Stephen a look as his eyebrows fly up. “Honey if I don’t obey Pepper you have no chance. I’ll honor you just fine, but I’ll obey over my dead body,” he says.

Stephen throws his head back and laughs, “I had him throw it in there to shake things up a little, make it interesting because you know, these things are boring and I figured the audience might appreciate the show,” he says.

Off to the side Stephen’s parents cluck in disapproval, “just ruined his own wedding,” his mother mumbles but Stephen hears it- Tony swears he has super hearing.

“On the contrary, mother, I made my wedding about me rather than you. And you know, Tony,” he says almost like its an afterthought but it isn’t. The entire point of this stunt was to give him a voice in the ceremony he hadn’t wanted because, despite his outward arrogance and generally harsh personality, Stephen has a deep capacity to care and he always goes out of his way to make sure Tony feels appreciated. Even if that means screwing up his wedding ceremony and risking his parents’ wrath later.