#it was also weird reading think again because even though it's an adult book

[watchmakermori]

so like. I read Think Again by jacqueline wilson and I can't stop thinking about how weird bits of it were.

why did she have to do Mr Windsor so dirty. bringing him back as a love interest was a bizarre move in the first place, though I wasn't quite as outraged as some reviewers are. I don't think it'd have been quite as odd if he and Ellie reunited on more neutral terms and sort of rediscovered each other as adults...but they meet up for the first time since Ellie was 13 and it's instantly a date. then they jump into bed with each other immediately. It's weird and nobody really acts like it's that weird

And to some extent I think it's intentional, because Mr Windsor turns out awful and controlling and we aren't supposed to like the guy. But that felt like a very odd choice too. I get that a lot of time has passed, and it's not like we ever knew much about Mr Windsor's actual character...but the idea of him becoming this domineering, mansplaining caricature just didn't fit with what we knew about him. he's only ten years older than Ellie. As a hip young teacher in the 90s, he made a point to introduce his students to female artists, was always encouraging and kind to Ellie, and dealt with Magda's inappropriate advances in a very respectful way. I could believe he wasn't the perfect fantasy man that the girls imagined him to be as teenagers, but like...telling Ellie she shouldn't wear trousers? Making out she's a little girl who needs looking after? I don't know. He felt like a parody of a totally different man.

Which I guess he could be, given he's called Gary Windsor in the new book. Who the fuck is Gary?? The original series confirmed his name was Guy. Can't believe JW and none of her editors caught that.

So Guy/Gary is weird and patriarchal and generally awful, and Madga and Nadine both insist that he's just like that because he's a man (spoiler alert: no). They tell Ellie she obviously wants a woman, which is kind of where she ends up.

I'm going to be charitable and say that JW wasn't aiming for a take-home message of 'men are always bad so date women instead'. I feel like Alice's girlfriend Wendy, who also has an air of pantomime villainy about her, is supposed to illustrate that all is not always rosy in wlw relationships. But it still feels weird

And it makes the novel worse, in my opinion. I love the idea of Ellie rediscovering her sexuality as a 40 year old and realising she wants a relationship with a woman. That's awesome, it feels personal to JW's own life, and it's a good twist on what you might normally expect from a contemporary romance book about a single mum. But that aspect is confined to basically the final page of the book. We spend 99% of the time watching Ellie go on boring dates with a man she doesn't really like and who treats her badly. Then, on the final page, she gets with a woman and the book ends.

I just think the story would've been so much more interesting if this had been the crux of the story. Imagine if Mr Windsor wasn't such a shitbag - if he was just a regular guy who treated Ellie well, maybe had a few flaws, but was fundamentally a great potential partner. Then imagine you have Ellie, who feels logically that this is everything she should want - the happily ever after she's long been waiting for. Except Alice has come into her life, and she makes Ellie reconsider what she really wants for herself.

That conflict feels like it would've played so much better with the throughlines in the original Girls books. Ellie's personality as a teenager, her relationship to her best friends, her relationship to the people reading about her - so much of it is about boys. Magda, Nadine and Ellie are constantly talking about crushes and dating, and that doesn't seem to have changed much even in this sequel. It would've been fascinating to see Ellie grapple with compulsory heterosexuality and how much of her connections to others are tied to that. She might wonder what it would do to her friendship with Nadine and Magda if she started to date a woman - how it might affect her relationship with her daughter, her parents, and obviously her own sense of self.

I just feel like that would have been way more interesting and sincere. the whole novel is called 'Think Again', for goodness sake. but instead we get 300 pages of Ellie dithering about whether to break up with a guy who disparages her flat, her opinions, and generally treats her like a child. It's tiresome

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Sometimes I think I must consume media wrong because I don't remember The Lottery by Shirley Jackson fucking me up

Like sure I read it and was like 'wait hang on, what- oh dear.' but I didn't have the 'Dude That Was So Fucked Up I Am Fundamentally Changed As A Person' experience everyone else apparently had

And that ain't a flex btw this ain't a "oh I can read the most fucked up stuff and feel NOTHING" kinda bullshit I just. Wasn't that deeply affected lmao

[nothorses]

"the public education system is intently evil and all teachers are abusive because it was the worst experience ever for me personally"

guys, look, I'm legitimately sorry that happened to you. that's fucked up. it shouldn't have happened, and it shouldn't be allowed to happen again to you or anyone else. I'm sorry.

public school was hard for me too, at times, and I'm still suffering the consequences for the harsh grading, the arbitrary deadlines, the hours of completely useless-to-me homework. I could name a few teachers who have been pretty fucking terrible. the fact that nobody considered getting me evaluated for ADHD has had an impact on my self image and academic success that I can't erase.

and also.

I grew up in an area where education, in particular, is incredibly progressive-leaning. educators are working really hard to create and try out education philosophies and practices that prioritize kids and their learning, rather than teachers and what they think kids should learn.

My sex ed was comprehensive, and came entirely from school. My gay sixth grade teacher taught me about HIV/AIDs in a useful, accurate way. In high school, I learned about the way orgasms work & I was prepared not to feel shame for normal stuff.

I learned that Communism was not what the USSR actually practiced, and what it really means. I learned about atrocities and, specifically, the genocide of indigenous people committed in/by the US. I learned about the military industrial complex, the school-to-prison pipeline, and I learned about manifestations of racism specific to my local area. I learned about Stonewall, and the intersection of the civil rights movement with gay rights and disability justice.

My creative writing teacher taught us about LSD, and the real reasons we shouldn't do it, after a hilariously ineffective assembly run by some local cops. He spoke gently, carefully, and emphatically about his friends and his own experiences. Later in the semester, he read us a story he wrote about two gay men finding each other in a deeply homophobic environment.

My sci-fi teacher made me feel safe & seen as a kid with "weird" interests. My US History teacher helped me research and put together a 10-page paper on the modern relevance and mission of Feminism. My government teacher made me feel appreciated for the work I put into the class, and the thought I put into what I said in it, even though he disagreed with a lot of it. My sixth grade teacher bought me books to read with his personal money, whichever ones I asked for. My third grade teacher made me feel safe. My science teacher in middle school made me excited for and passionate about science, and saw and nurtured the effort I put into her class.

A lot of stuff sucks, absolutely. But I am seeing new teaching methods being tried out all the time, and I am watching teachers get really excited when I teach their students about the roots of modern graffiti in US black history & to question property laws, and just...

There's hope. there are so many people doing so much work to make things better. so many people agree with you on what education should be, and are trying so fucking hard to put that into action, and so many public schools- not just teachers, but whole schools and even districts- are really doing that work. so much is getting better.

I had more to say, about necessary childcare and trusted adults and outside contacts and time away from abusive family. But like. Please just sit down and listen to more people on this, and please talk to educators and education professionals about what's really going on in this big huge world of philosophy, science, and practice.

[wilwheaton]

When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.

This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.

I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.

I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.

A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.

I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.

I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.

To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.

But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.

After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.

River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.

I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.

At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).

I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.

My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.

It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.

Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)

But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.

Okay. Back to The Curse.

This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.

One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.

No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”

It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.

I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.

It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).

So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.

My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.

Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.

My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.

The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?

My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.

My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.

Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.

She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.

Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.

But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.

There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.

I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.

I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.

This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.

As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.

Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.

There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).

Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.

[snakewithawitchhat]

Bill Headcanons

I have enough of these to fill up my guts whatever that means

Includes: Normal, readerxbill platonic, readerxbill romantic, freaky stuff he into

Normal

He definitely said skibidi once because he had no idea what it meant or where it came from

He would probably honest to god enjoy interacting with an iPad kid because he thinks they're fucking funny

Tea person over coffee

Probably reads books on the randomest subjects. Mostly they all have human psychology in common, though. Or anatomy.

His favorite kids movie is Wreck It Ralph, favorite adult movie is Shawn of The Dead (He doesn't believe British people are actually real and finds the movie funny), favorite horror movie is probably something really obscure and is just plain goreporn or something like that.

(In my opinion) I feel like if he had a more anthropomorphic form (legs and arms and body) it would probably be something VERY weird core or something like that. Like, extra limbs, weird ass colors, and random effects. He'd probably keep the triangle imagery, though.

Would definitely just say random ass shit to freak people out

He has a thing for teeth. Not, like, a weird thing or a sex thing. He just really thinks they're cool.

If he had an iPad... he'd spend all day either being your standard reddit user or an iPad kid.

Probably like King from The Owl House sometimes.

Speaking of TOH, he met The Collector once. He thought the kid was neat and played a few games of chess with him before leaving. Probably one of the inspirations for The Collector's insaneness

He also met The Core from Amphibia. Or at least knew the core existed.

His favorite human color is either red, yellow, or orange. It's really everything on the hot side of the color wheel tbh.

Platonic X reader

Dream invasion time-- He would SO rummage through your mind if you made a deal with him.

If you pissed him off, he'd probably jab a fork in your arm while possessing you. He wouldn't be as insane as he was with Stanford's body, though. He wants yours to work properly.

Dream demon or not, he probably had a Drea- NIGHTMARE... it was SO a nightmare... about having more fun with you if you built the portal.

Would be touchy. Not in a weird way (if you ask, he'll stop) but he'll just, like, pat your shoulder or something like that.

If Weirdmageddon 2 happens he is SO finding you and inviting you to his party. You're coming, too. You don't got a choice. Womp womp.

If one of his friends were to eat you, he'd probably be disappointed as all hell, but it really depends on how close you are with him. Besties? He'd kill that monster and resurrect you with the parts left. Just acquaintances? Who are you again?

Would still possess you even after he gets a physical form. (he likes to prank you)

Romantic X reader

Clingy bastard. If your insert is mortal, he'll be by your side 24/7 if Weirdmageddon is happening. Even if your insert ISN'T mortal.

Would be even MORE touchy.

He'd set up boundaries and be clear with his own while probably ignoring yours. (he isn't a great partner)

It's probably a toxic one-sided relationship at first. Bill is NOT a good person at ALL. He always had a goal in mind. He sees his romantic interest of you as a little thing that just ALSO happened.

Probably gets flustered by affection really easily if you're the one showing it.

He won't know much about human affections, so you'll probably have to show him the ropes.

Before you do THAT, though, he'll probably just bite you (with his freaky fucking eyeball mouth thing). Not even as a sexual or possessive thing. He just likes to bite you. It's like an awkward thing he can't control. Get too close and he can feel your warmth? Bite. Bite. BITE. It's not light stuff, though. It's always hard enough to draw blood. Purposeful or not. (It's not on purpose)

He doesn't get JEALOUS, but he does get a little insecure if you start getting infatuated with someone else.

If you're hurt from someone, you BEST know he's overprotective as fuck. Your puny mortal body is pathetic, but if you lose it, he loses you, too.

You aren't aging ever again. You aren't DYING ever again. No. He won't let you die ever. Body is giving out? Here's a new one. Forgetting...? No, he'll plant more memories in your mind. He's too late and you're dead...? No you aren't... You'll always be conscious. Whether your body is rotting around your mind or not.

Sex junk

Sadist. 100% all the way. Not even light things, like slaps. No, if you consent, he will full on break your bones.

He doesn't feel sexual gratification like humans do, so it's more of just something he'll do to either please or displease you. Whichever one, it's almost always about how you feel.

He doesn't have a dick, so you'll be on the receiving end always. Unless you REALLY want to give.

He has a giant eyeball on him. He definitely likes to watch.

Always tops because there isn't much you can do to dominate him. He'll try to let you if you really wanna, but it probably won't be the easiest.

Blood kink. That's it. He thinks it's so pretty on you. Especially if it's yours.

[marzipanandminutiae]

i'd love to learn just how victorian rational dress reformists would react at contemporary feminine hairstyles!

...in a similar line of thought do we have any records about their opinions on the Practicality of little girls hair or even the 20's bob (if some lived to see it)?

I'm not sure!

One of their biggest beefs with hair in their own time was often with hairpieces: false buns, curls, bangs/fringes, etc. used to augment one's natural hair. I'm not sure if they felt it weighed the head down or the extra pins were uncomfortable or what, but they didn't like it. false hair still exists, but its popularity has vastly waned. so maybe they'd think we had solved some issues- though long hair worn loose all the time would probably be seen as Hampering to women's daily activity

You do see some advocacy for short hair as an easier and sometimes healthier (??) option, but more often I've seen artistic and/or Dress Reform-oriented women with short hair who said nothing about it. You also have men who are...clearly just into ladies with short hair writing long Ye Olde Thinkpieces about how great it is. I mean, no shame there, I guess- everyone has their Thing. And while short hair on women was unusual, the Victwardians didn't seem to regard it with the same massive distrust and hand-wringing as conservative commentators of the 1920s did. Perhaps because it was less widespread?

The idea that little girls not only could have short hair but should was fairly common throughout the 19th century, obviously with variations. Similar reasoning was in play to that you might expect nowadays: that it was easier to care for, and that an active child wouldn't be hindered by it. there was also an idea, similar to that which led some women's hair to be cut off during serious illness, that short hair kept the head cooler and prevented or lowered fevers. I've actually read an admonition to keep children's hair short for just that reason in a book from the 1830s- The Ladies' Medical Oracle, by Elizabeth Mott. obviously this wasn't universal- see also: the original Alice in Wonderland illustrations, although it's worth noting that the real Alice Liddell had a bob as a child

(yes, little girls were expected to be active to a degree- even more if you're reading a book by someone who has experience with Actual Human Children. some doctors fretted that the uterus would be damaged by too much physical activity, but it seems like in practice, parents' were...again, aware of how real children behave. Longfellow's 1860 poem The Children's Hour describes his daughters storming his office to shower him with affection, quite energetically, and it was a smash hit)

as for how they reacted to 1920s bobs...well, most of the adult adopters thereof had at least lived through part of the Long Hair As Default For Women Edwardian era, and their thoughts ranged greatly on the subject. In fact, essays by Irene Castle (believed to be the originator of the trend in her late 20s c. 1913 or 1914, long before it caught on properly) and Mary Pickford (a late adopter at age 36 c. 1928) on why they had vs. hadn't cut their hair are often paired together as a commentary on how the trend was seen, along with others. sometimes these essays are rather strange- one wonders why these women, who must have lived when adult women all wore their hair up every day, describe the alleged oppression of "long, trailing locks." I guess when what you like has some social unacceptability, you might be inclined to phrase things in black and white thus

Dress reformers of the 1920s were more concerned with the deleterious effects of high-heeled shoes and the general idea that young women were encouraged to be too frivolous- and too loose in their sexual morals, as represented by the "short skirts"- actually about calf-length -and low-backed evening gowns of the era. that sounds kind of weird today, in the era of sex positivity, but earlier dress reform had, with a few exceptions, disavowed ideas of sexual freedom as thoroughly as mainstream society did. and I kind of get it- the notion that they advocated "free love" was often used to discredit genuine women's rights groups. still they weren't totally immune to sexual mores of their time, and some likely genuinely believed what they were saying

and that's not even getting into the Coiffure a la Titus trend of the late 18th-early 19th century, which had advocates claiming it was the best thing ever and detractors insisting it would result in women catching colds all the time. it was ever thus

anyway that's a bit of a long-winded answer, but I hope it helps!

[dadattebayo]

thank you! the whole sentiment of "don't ask the actors about haladriel, it might make them uncomfortanle" is forced and ridiculous.

first of all, it feels like projecting. these are fully grown adults. a goofy question won't trigger them like it would a chronically online nerd.

but more importantly, what do they mean, "the interviewers shouldn't ask the actors about the central relationship their characters are the part of"??? their relationship is framed in a way that, at very least, is open to romantic interpretations. of course the questions will sound "shippy" and it is okay!

i think people, both the antis and some haladriels too, reacted too intensely to charlie's interview where he read the tweets. the issue there was that the tweet they made him read in the end was too "cheesy" and "vanilla-fying" sauron in its' tone, not leaving space for interpretation.

but other than that, i don't see the actors being "uncomfortable" about haladriel questions. it's the opposite, they seem to have fun with those questions.

Moreover, again about shipping questions in general, they are not cringe in any terms, because it's completely natural to be curious and excited about them also because this ship is brand new and unbelievable from the first view cause no one could even think of a possibility of such couple before. How could we stop asking for more details? Like if there was a prequel to HP where they would imply that young Voldemort and let's say McGonagall had a whole story between them and they were central to the plot, how could people just ignore it and keep silent? Would be weird.. :)

And one more thing. We used to think (after the principal books and the PJ movies) that Sauron is a flat type villain who was pure evil by nature, who was incapable of feelings and love itself. TROP through Galadriel and Halbrand's interaction gave us a hint that it's maybe not quite true, gave us a chance to explore more. That attracted me the most and made me so invested emotionally in the show. I think not only me but many of us. So of course Haladriel is a must question in agenda in all those interviews.

of course there is no need to enlighten the actors about some explicit content like fanfiction or fanart though, that would be creepy af haha

[dionysism]

wanna go more in depth for your hatred about tsoa? is it really REALLY inaccurate? im start to get more into greek mythology and many recommended that book to me besides the obvious ones like the actual materials

(btw i love your posts mwa mwa stay hydrated)

sure! yes it is very inaccurate. let me just say though its been like 3 years since i read it and i'm currently out of state so i don't have it on me to skim through but perhaps one day i will reread it just to make a whole masterpost on everything i hate about it. maybe not tho because it was agonizing enough on the first read 💀

also let me put a trigger warning here i will be mentioning sexual assault in this post because it's in the book and i'll be referring to that scene

so i have a lot of issues with it let me try to organize my thoughts... her characterization is my main issue. just terrible. also i feel like her writing is like.... weird or unfitting sometimes. like theres a scene where patroclus (who is like... 11 or 12 at this point maybe younger) says achilles is "still plump with childhood" or something (again probably not the exact quote its been a minute but something similar) which is just not how 11 year olds talk about other 11 year olds? its supposed to be from patroclus' perspective and i just feel like when shes writing him as a kid he still sounds, thinks, and talks like a grown adult. sometimes he doesn't even sound like patroclus he just sounds like madeline miller.

which brings me to her characterization of patroclus in general. just fucking horrific was her inspo troy (2004)? she made him this medic twink who only heals and even when he finally does fight in achilles armor its like he gets kills on pure luck and you're supposed to be shocked. patroclus in the iliad is 1. older than achilles and 2. a great warrior! this is why achilles lets him don his armor in the first place because he KNOWS how good patroclus is on the battlefield. also patroclus has anger and rage of his own! he is not a smol uwu baby don't PISS ME OFF! his kill count crazy. idek where she got the medic thing from there's like one (1) scene in the iliad where patroclus helps an injured solider in the camp but he is most certainly not the medic of the greeks. he's dull in tsoa. he has hardly any personality outside his love for achilles.

next is her thetis. this, i think, enrages me more than anything else. thetis is a character of grief. thetis is a goddess who, for all her power, is ultimately unable to change the fate of her son. she may be a little overbearing at times, but NOTHING like how she is in tsoa. madeline miller makes her a homophobic (?) helicopter abusive mother (i say ? on the homophobia because im not sure if it was homophobia or if she just hated patroclus specifically. if it was homophobia the stupidity of making an ancient greek god homophobic speaks for itself) thetis doesn't even hate patroclus in the iliad, in fact, thetis is the one who preserves his body and keeps it fresh and prevents it from rotting while achilles waits for his new armor and then goes out to fight hector. she tells achilles he could lay there for a year and she would keep him unchanged. in tsoa, she forces them apart, and tells achilles if he does not sleep with deidamia, she will never let him see patroclus again. this is insane to me. thetis would not set her son up for s/a and force him to sleep with someone against his will. and mind you this occurs after she's already stated clearly that thetis is a victim of rape herself. i assume this is madeline miller's way of asserting that achilles has no attraction to women while still being able to have his son in the plot later. this again, is stupid to me. if you want to argue achilles may have been gay, fine, homosexuality was complicated in ancient greece and you could potentially make the argument his sleeping with women was to uphold a reputation but i think it's more accurate that he was probably just attracted to both. however i think you can make him explicitly gay in a retelling without adding sexual assault to his story. i also find this especially distasteful because in actual antiquity achilles is the one committing sexual assault. (if i had a nickel for every time madeline miller made a character who canonically assaults someone else a victim of s/a while removing the fact they commit it themselves from the story i'd have 2 nickels. which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice, right?) in general i find it very weird how madeline, on multiple occasions, demonizes a woman from mythology and makes her into a villain she simply is not. this y'alls "feminist retelling" author? oh okay.. i guess! (her deidama is an antagonist in this too, as a hysterical jealous Other Woman)

i also felt she imposed too many modern standards/heteronormativity onto achilles and patroclus' relationship. like i said with patroclus, making him the weak defenseless healer and achilles the badass warrior. very much giving one is strong and masculine and the other is nurturing and feminine. changing the aspects of their other relationships so its like they've only ever loved eachother and no else which isn't necessary. achilles and patroclus could (and do, in the iliad) sleep with other people and it would not diminish how intense and true their love for each other is!!

over all she sanitized the story, flattened it and butchered all the characters with a sprinkle of fetishization and misogyny on top. the book is frankly boring and underdeveloped too. this is honestly not as in depth of a review as i would like to give but like i said i don't have access to the book at the moment so i just stuck to the core grievances i remember having

(also thank you, you stay hydrated too!! <3)

[misty-moth]

*Gil route spoilers toward the end*

You know the isekai stories where the character reads a book at some point, doesn’t pay very close attention to it, but then is thrown into that book (and often are “born” into one of the book’s characters, so they start as a baby)?

Isekai AU where that happened to Chev.

He read a book outside of his usual genres on a whim, and he was launched into it soon after. He was an adult when it happened, and a rather competent one at that. Now he had been born into a position of royalty and was fairly convinced he could rule the entire continent with his knowledge. He just needed to win the story’s war against Obsidian, where the story’s timeline had ended.

So he knows *almost* everything that happens, especially key points that would otherwise be impossible to guess. He knows the tragic end of his mother, so he didn’t try to stop it. He knew about Bloodstained Rose Day, so he accepted his decision as necessary. The closer he stuck to the original plot, the longer he’d know what was going to happen.

The problem with the book for Chev was that he thought it was stupid. Because it was a romance novel. He hadn’t really considered looking for it until he came across a ~random~ romance novel in his stack of books, and soon he’s been reading every romance he can get his hands on, on the off chance he finds the book again. He’s hoping there’s a “rare book” somewhere that would become a prophetic treasure for him…

He knows about Emma the future Belle, but he’s convinced that Belle is a pointless position because he plans on firmly changing the plot once she comes into play. By the end of the book, he will no longer need to bother with romance— he’ll have secured an entire continent instead. Surely Emma can pick one of his brothers, so it’s fiiine…

So he’s pretty close to the original timeline, but he’s still a little thrown off when a woman in town slaps a drunkard in front of him. He wasn’t expecting to meet Belle on a random day and in such a weird way (did the original Chev point a sword at Emma’s throat? New Chev can’t seem to remember that part happening…)

Then he had to be on his game as far as pushing her away, toward any of his brothers (he was positive that whoever she chose, they would love and cherish her). He’s spent all of his new life preparing, so it should be easy enough to push one last person away. No time for kindness or love if he wants to rule this fictional world.

And, well, we’ve seen how well that went for him in his route 😅

And his route could end with loving Emma, how it was originally written, even having known everything beforehand. Dude’s a certified genius now, but he couldn’t destroy fate…

Sure would be a shame if another “genius” was isekai’d into an enemy prince’s body that would also want to take over the continent and meet Belle (essentially the perfect, ideal woman with the purest heart). A prince who ended up in a body/family/life that tore his own pure heart to shreds.

He’d read the romance novel because he liked happy stories, and he’d liked how lovely and strong Emma was. So ending up in the last possible person to meet her was a huge blow for him.

Gil couldn’t find the novel in the fictional world, either, though he didn’t try quite as hard as Chev (who he’d met as a child, not realizing that the gallant prince in the story was now the grumpy kid reading in a corner).

Gil gave up trying to find it after realizing survival had to be his ultimate priority. Eventually in his adult years he was able to think about her again. He’d looked back on the stories the bookseller told him, which were curiously similar to the Belle he had read about. Maybe if he couldn’t find the romance novel… he could write it?

And finding out that Emma had finally become Belle at the same time he’d learned he’d had nothing left to lose? Time to visit Rhodolite.

Two isekai’d princes, one the pre-destined lover of Belle, the other an enemy who was born into the life of a doomed side character who had to make himself a main character to survive.

Neither knows the other came from their original universe, so they are both pretty perplexed at how competent the other is. They’ve been side-eyeing the other their whole lives: Gil eventually realizes he’s talking to Chevalier, the ML, but that he’s a lot grumpier than he remembers. Chev doesn’t understand where this prominent enemy character came from or why he wasn’t mentioned in the books 🤔

[honourablejester]

With all the discussion going around about kids and reading again, and just because I’m in a nostalgic and reflective mood, I thought I’d have a quick look back over books that had an influence on me over the years. You know. I trawl back through my childhood and later memories for those books that stuck out. Not necessarily because of quality, but because they had something that stayed with me, for one reason or another.

Rambling below the cut:

The Shannara trilogy, by Terry Brooks. The original one, so Sword of Shannara, Elfstones of Shannara, and Wishsong of Shannara. Plus the prequel, First King of Shannara. For a lot of people, Lord of the Rings was their first big fantasy series, but mine was Shannara, because my parents were big fans. We wore those books out. Wishsong and Sword, in particular. The copy of First King we had was a hardback, so it held up better, and Elfstones for some reason was everyone’s least favourite, so it got read a bit less, but the other two were in tatters from everyone reading them. I can’t even remember how old I was reading them, but it was pretty young? Less than 10, for sure. I loved Wishsong in particular so much as a kid.

The Knight of the Word (Word & Void) trilogy, also by Terry Brooks. Again, my parents were big fans. I remember this one, though, because I bounced off it as a kid, and had to come back to it later when I was bit older. Because KotW is much more … adult than Shannara. Not in the sense of more sex and violence, but in the sense that it was set in the real world, and there were a lot of adult topics in there that I didn’t get yet. Things like towns slowly dying as the money dried up, and complicated family dynamics, and bigotry, as well as the more fantastical elements of the demon hunting Nest and the apocalypse looming behind John Ross’ dreams of the future. I had to come back to this trilogy as a teenager, when I had a bit more framework for it. It’s been merged into Shannara as a prequel in the years since, but honestly I never really agreed with that. Knight of the Word was its own vibe, its own bitter, dying, small town fantasy of damaged bloodlines and slow decay. I think, of all the books I read as a kid, this one probably had the most long-term influence on my writing. There’s a tone in it that feels like it comes back to me sometimes.

Lord of the Rings, by JRR Tolkien. It wasn’t my first fantasy, or my most formative, but our house also went through several copies of this trilogy too. I actually miss them, we got new ones after the movies came out, but those one just don’t look or feel as nice as the ones we wore out. I do have an absolutely gorgeous illustrated copy of the Hobbit, though, and it is a prized possession.

The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes, by Arthur Conan Doyle. My dad had a massive green hardback collection of the stories, so big that I could barely lift it as a kid, and I loved it. He still has it. I’ve got my own fancy leatherbound copy now, a Christmas present, but that big battered green hardback is such a piece of my childhood. Reading the Holmes stories young has had weird influences here or there, some odd context for history learned later, and a willingness to read older fiction.

Journey to the Centre of the Earth, by Jules Verne. It was the first book I ever got out of the library. I remember it so clearly. I was seven when my mam first got me a library card, and I remember being so overwhelmed by the number of books around me that I just sort of ran in, grabbed a couple nearly at random, and ran out again. The two I picked were this one, and a book called ‘The Tribe With No Feet’, which I can’t remember the author of, but it was about the indigenous americans meeting white settlers for the first time and calling them the tribe with no feet because they wore shoes (again, I have no idea who wrote this, but this was the mid-90s). I don’t remember much else about that book. But I remember Journey to the Centre of the Earth. Most specifically, I remember the expedition climbing down through the tight caves at the start, and I remember the subterranean prehistoric sea. Which. I feel like people might recognise as an influence for a few things? Heh.

The Famous Five series, by Enid Blyton. In case anyone gets the idea that I was reading mostly fantasy and classics as a kid, nah. Like I said, I got a library card when I was seven, and I read a lot. A lot of what the library had were older books, this was again small town Ireland in the 90s, so they tended to prioritise long series and older series. I read Nancy Drew, the Hardy Boys, Goosebumps, the Babysitters Club, you name it. I also, perhaps more weirdly, read some of the Chalet School series by Elinor M. Brent-Dyer. Because for some reason our library had a lot of british children’s series from like the 50s? Hence, again, Famous Five. But I did enjoy them, so I don’t know what that says. It also meant that Harry Potter was nothing particularly new to me, because I had read a lot of the old boarding school series that it was somewhat inspired by.

A couple of other kids books that have stuck with me:

Strange Hiding Place, by Graham Marks. Kid’s sci-fi about a kid finding a crash-landed alien on the run from a war and trying to help him. I mainly remember the bit in the first book where they’re camping, and Dez (the kid) does the old camping prank of spinning in the dark with his torch pointing up at his face to scare the alien, and Yakob (the alien) having a complete meltdown because he’s a traumatised guy on the run on an alien world where nothing is familiar and can you not do that, please and thank you! And Dex realising that this adult alien is stressed to fuck and scared and in real danger, and realising a bit more genuinely that he needs to help him.

The Luvender trilogy, by June Considine. I don’t remember too much of the plot of these, but they were just spooky as hell in such a cool way, and I loved them. The basic plot is kids in an old seaside town called Merrick having to deal with an evil sorcerer and his minions (the titular Luvenders), and there were possessed dolls, and the ghost of a girl who was a champion against him a hundred years ago, and then a massive mudslide that nearly wipes out the town and the old wrought iron town gates being carried away by it. I got those books out of the library many times.

The Giltspur trilogy, by Cormac MacRaois. I seriously you doubt you can get these outside of Ireland these days, or even within Ireland, but they were just my favourite casual kids fantasy as a kid. Irish mythology, spooky scarecrows, and brave kids. I loved them.

The Forbidden Game, by L.J. Smith. As we got a bit older and graduated from Goosebumps to more young adult fair, one of my sisters and I were obsessed with the Point Horror books. We tried a bunch of them, but easily our favourite, and the one that stuck longest, was the Forbidden Game trilogy. Which is actually a love story masquerading as a horror book, about a girl who buys a game from a beautiful young demon boy and then has to play it for her and her friends’ lives, while also falling for said demon. Despite this, I was still shocked when I found out, literally just now, that the author went on to write The Vampire Diaries. Huh. But, you know. Still a great trilogy!

Then, as I got a bit older:

Discworld, by Terry Pratchett. One of my dad’s friends heard I liked fantasy (again, Shannara, LotR, but by this stage I’d also started reading the massive fantasy tome series out of the library) and loaned me Guards Guards, and the rest is rather history. Shannara was my first, LotR not long after, but despite arriving late when I was a teenager, Discworld stuck hardest. It’s the one of all of them that I reread most often. I adore this series, and I will cheerfully fight people over it.

Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan and Wars of Light and Shadow by Janny Wurts. When I say I’d started reading massive doorstopper fantasy series out of the library … I actually don’t mean these two. They came later, when I started buying my own books, mostly out of second hand shops. I still have a massive stack of Wheel of Time books in the bottom of a wardrobe somewhere. I never actually finished the series, but then neither did Robert Jordan? I … I’m not sure if I recommend Wheel of Time, in hindsight there’s a lot of … he definitely had a weird view of women, and relationships, but it was a pretty formative step in my independent reading. And Janny Wurts … Okay. Do you enjoy potentially overwrought whump fic? Read Janny Wurts. I also somewhat blame her for my over-reliance on italics when writing. But. If you would like a doorstopper fantasy series about a beautiful fantasy prince tortured by his (quite literal) empathy while mired in a war with his half-brother by a curse, have I got the series for you!

More Than Human, by Theodore Sturgeon. As you may have gathered, I haunted the sci-fi/fantasy section of the library as a kid. And a lot of the books I read went over my head. This one was a bit like Knight of the Word when I’d been younger, I did not get it. I mean, I read it, I understand all the events that happened in it, but it was one of those books that didn’t actually mean anything to me until much, much later. But it stuck, and I’m still not sure why. But if anyone wondered why telepathy is a theme in some of my work, it does probably go back to this book.

Les Miserables, by Victor Hugo. I have read … a fairly eclectic selection of classic novels over the years. Random ones here or there, starting from Sherlock Holmes as a kid. But Les Miserables was probably the second most influential of them. I heard the musical first, again because of my parents, but when I went to college and got access to the college library, it was the first time I got to read the book. Or the brick, if you prefer. And I really, really, really loved Javert. So.

It was also via the college library (and the classics shelf of the bookshop in the college town) that I ran into both the Arsene Lupin stories by Maurice Leblanc and the Fantomas stories by Marcel Allain and Pierre Souvestre. Which, if you enjoy early French pulp crime stories? Excellent choices. The college library also let me watch the early (as in 1910s) Fantomas silent movies, which I also definitely recommend! (I do think Verne being such an early influence inclined me a bit towards French genre fiction for a bit).

Also in college, I discovered that I really love short horror fiction. I love ghost stories. I have several hardback collections of classic ghost stories on my shelves these days, because if I’m in the mood to buy a book, but not in a specific mood, I usually can’t go wrong with one of those. And college was also were I discovered Project Gutenberg, an online archive of classic works, which introduced me to some weird and wonderful classic horror fiction. A particular one of which that I remember was the Carnacki the Ghost Finder stories by William Hope Hodgson, an early entry into the paranormal investigation/weird fiction genres. As in, again, 1910s. They’re weird, and very early-20th-century, but they’re also fascinating and cool. For example, Carnacki made a lot of use of multicoloured electric light tubes as warding materials, because they were new and fascinating in the 1910s. The stories are on Project Gutenberg still, definitely give them a shot. Unfortunately, that version doesn’t have my favourite of the stories, The Hog, which has the most weirdly terrifying demonic pig you will ever encounter in a story.

The Flashman series by George McDonald Fraser. I had read his book The Pyrates before, my dad loved it, and the bookshop in my college town had large chunks of this series, written in the 60s-80s, about a cowardly British soldier during the Imperial conflicts of the Victorian era. So I read them. Again, Sherlock Holmes as a kid laid a bit of groundwork. And … They’re not for everyone. Flashman, the title character, is a horrible man, though Fraser quickly backs off from some of his more horrific qualities in the earlier books (he rapes someone during a battle in I think the second book?). But. They’re pretty well written and historical fascinating, and I learned a lot about a lot of the darker and smaller conflicts of the British Empire through them. Which I remember because it actually came up in class, and made me sound like I’d done a lot more of the reading than I had. We were discussing Lebensraum and the concepts of national expansionism in a lecture, and the lecturer was asking why the land routes through Russia and Asia were considered so important to many European countries, and I was there with Flashman’s experience of British India and Afghanistan floating in my head, so I piped up ‘British navy’. And he was all, yes, thank you, someone’s done the reading. Which, uh. I decidedly hadn’t. Or at least not the class reading. Heh.

Honor Harrington series by David Weber. Somewhat linked to the previous, by way of things like the Hornblower and Aubreyverse books in a similar vein of ‘military historical fiction’, I also discovered military science fiction as a genre via second hand bookshops in college. And Honor Harrington was the one that stuck, mostly because of several characters (mostly Havenite, a couple Manticoran) that I latched onto hard. The series starts out very obviously as ‘Hornblower in space’, but after the first four books or so starts to swerve hard and picks up much more of its own identity.

The Vorkosigan Saga, by Lois McMaster Bujold. Again, somewhat linked to the previous. As a kid, it was the fantasy half of the science fiction and fantasy section that fascinated me. Later on, I started to venture more into the sci-fi side. And Vorkosigan, like Harrington, has a lot of the bitey, toothy, ‘the bonds and ravages of loyalty’ themes that have rather stuck with me. When you weigh your honour and your loyalty on the scales of war, how much of them, and you, comes out intact? Again, you might recognise some themes I enjoy here.

The In Death series by JD Robb (aka Nora Roberts). Completely different, now, but … these were more my popcorn books, the ones I got out of the library in college and even still when I just want something more low-effort to read, but they’re not bad for all that. They are very much romance fiction tropes in an urban sci-fi coat, but they’re eminently readable for all that. Heh. The main romance is questionable, especially in the early books, but it settles into something more equal and less potentially-skeevy as it goes, and the crime plots are actually pretty interesting here or there. They very much are ‘Law And Order Twenty Minutes In The Future’, with a healthy skeleton of Mills & Book underlying that, but if you want a book to read in an hour or so, you can do a lot worse.

The Charlie Parker series, by John Connolly. If you want horror crime instead of science fiction crime, definitely try these. And by that I do not mean urban fantasy ‘detectives and vampires’, I mean horror crime. As in gruesome crimes where something dark and supernatural lurks around the edges of the world. The books get increasingly bogged down the further into the series you get, but the early books have a spectacular atmosphere to them.

The Philip Marlowe books by Raymond Chandler. Now. Most of the reason I love noir as a genre was because of Batman: The Animated Series as a kid, and then the odd movie here or there later (L.A. Confidential, The Big Sleep, Casablanca), but libraries are a girl’s best friend, and when I stumbled across these, I gave them a shot. And it was definitely worth it. Chandler has a really light, pulpy style that’s quick and snappy and fun to read, and there is definitely a mood and an atmosphere in his work. If you want to see what all the noir parodies were referencing, do try him, he’s excellent. (I never tried the other big pulp hardboiled author, Dashielle Hammett, and I keep meaning to).

… Reading this back over, it’s so obvious that I was a genre kid. It’s all fantasy, science fiction, horror, crime, and then hybrids thereof. Heh. And I’m also noticing a lot of older fiction, as a result of reading what was available to me in a small town in the 90s as a kid, and then being willing to chance older stuff as a result of that as I got older.

Another thing I’m noting is that I read a lot of books that I didn’t get, because while I had the reading ability for them, I decidedly didn’t have the experience or context for them. But the thing with those is, they often stick longer when you do gain the knowledge or experience or understanding for them later on and go back.

Anyway. Apologies for the random trip down memory lane and through my childhood and later influences. Carry on!

[saphira-approves]

Can I come and tell you my deepest pain?

We should have had Morzan alive. I mean yeah, it would fuck up the whole narrative but imagine Murtagh being afraid of his father. He hates the king but fears his father.

Imagine him and Thorn; Morzan sees them, and he has problems with booze in canon, just how drunk he'd have gotten after Thorn learned to talk? There he is with his nameless dragon, half of his heart and soul, that he had to watch descend into stupidity. (Does he have its name written up here and there, does he watch it every day just to think about how he could make it real again?) Would he dream of killing his son and taking his dragon to himself? Would he want that even though he despises that sick joke of a connection that is in between Galbatorix and Shruikan?

And then Galbatorix finally discovers the name of the names. How would he beg for the king to use it to heal his companion?

Also, it would be very funny to watch our main characters run for their lives with an angry dragon after them, but y'know.

Should I write a fic about this

Oh you absolutely should write a fic about this (and let me know when you do! I’d love to read it!), and I should go back through my WIPs to find my time travel AUs…

I usually write more about Selena than Morzan, but I do love the idea of getting to see grown-up Murtagh’s reaction to seeing his father, especially in a context where Murtagh has lived without him for a while—whether that’s because Brom didn’t kill Morzan and Selena got both her sons to Carvahall, or because resurrection or time travel shenanigans happened.

As for Morzan still being around when Murtagh gets captured… I think there’s a 50/50 chance he gets Real Weird about the torture, in a “I was pretty sure up to this point that I didn’t actually care about my son but now my best friend is torturing My Son and I don’t like it actually” way, and I think that would be really fun to explore; I think, also, that when Thorn hatches and Galbatorix prematurely increases his size, Morzan would again be Real Weird about it because, like, that’s a baby dragon the size of an adult. He hasn’t lost his name, he just hasn’t really developed one yet; he’s a weird, warped mirror of Morzan’s own dragon. And when Thorn does, eventually, with difficulty, start to ‘grow up’, Morzan’s probably going to get twitchy about it—it’s been at least a century, more than two thirds of his lifespan, since he’s even MET a somewhat psychologically stable dragon; how much has he forgotten of their true intelligence, their real personalities? And when Galbatorix does find The Word, if Morzan asks him to heal his own dragon… honestly I don’t know if Galbatorix would be able to. Having power and knowing how to use it are two different things, we saw Murtagh figure that out in his own book with The Word. Would the king even know where to start? Would he allow Morzan to try for himself? Morzan probably wouldn’t have a clue where to begin, all we ever hear about him from people who’d met him is that he’s a powerful spellcaster, but not a very clever one.

Honestly, the whole situation might drive Morzan to split from Galbatorix; and even if not, it would still probably drive Morzan to be extremely destructive, to himself and everyone around him.

Also he’d be so pissed to learn about Eragon’s true parentage. Not even in a “my wife cheated on me?!” way but in a “oh my god can Brom stop being SO OBSESSED with me for FIVE MINUTES” kind of way.

[bikananjarrus]

Elzar for the breakdown because I miss him

chip thank u for giving me the opportunity to talk about elzar 🙏 i miss him real bad too :(

(this got longer than expected but i have feelings about him)

how i feel about this character:

oh man, i just love him to bits. he was my favorite pretty much from the moment he showed up on page, and he's still my favorite. he's bisexual. he's a bit of a bitch. he will pout and get very sad if he doesn't get enough attention. he's a weird little jedi and just wants to be left alone to do his weird little experiments with the force. most of all i think i just love how much he tries and doesn't give up, even when he wants to, even when he's at his lowest. he's the heart!! and i just love him a lot!!

all the people i ship romantically with this character:

avar and stellan. they're the only ones for him because they match his freak <3 i'm a polycule truther, but also i love him and avar together, and also thinking about him and stellan makes me want to walk into the ocean so!

my non-romantic otp for this character:

HIM AND TY YORRICK!!!!! obsessed with their bitchy bisexual + brash lesbian dynamic. went from trying to kill each other (really just ty trying to kill him for stealing her lightsaber. understandable) to drift compatible besties. i love them <3 and no i'm not bitter that we haven't seen her at all since and elzar hasn't talked about her why do u ask

but also, cheating and giving you two more, i love him and orla's friendship, and his friendship with lina. he just keeps collecting these women who take one look at this depressed suicidal wet cat of a man and go yeah, we'll take that one.

my unpopular opinion about this character:

i am thankfully not involved with the corner of the fandom that argues about this, and this definitely shouldn't be as unpopular of an opinion as it is, but ELZAR DID NOTHING WRONG ON STARLIGHT and i will DIE on that hill! sure he killed chancey, but he had spent multiple days on a sinking space station with force creatures that were eating away at all the jedis' states of mind, and he saw somehow he knew to be affiliated with the nihil (their enemy!) and thought she was further sabotaging the station, so he stopped her. should he have asked questions first, swung lightsaber later? yeah, maybe. but he did what he did and it's fine and it's also not his fault stellan died. stellan knew what he was doing when he went down there. even though elzar blames himself, it's not his fault!

relatedly, fandom sure gives elzar a lot of crap for this when avar did almost the exact same thing. she would have killed lourna dee if keeve hadn't stopped her, and avar had a lot more murderous intent behind her actions than elzar did his. but no, let's go ahead and demonize the brown member of the firebrands instead of the blonde white woman.

one thing i wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

oh so many things. but really (and i understand this is probably a bit of a side effect of having multiple authors writing these characters across many years) but i think canon has introduced SO MANY cool storylines and possibilities for elzar and hasn't followed through on a lot of them. and now we only have one book left with him, and i'm a bit worried that it will be an unsatisfying conclusion for him :/

his force visions, for one. introduced in lotj, mentioned again towards the end of rising storm, and then not really talked about again, even though he was clearly connected to everything going on with the nihil and nameless through his visions. connecting him as a foil to azlin and not really going anywhere with that (which, i haven't read tears of the nameless, so there may be a bit more there, but still).

(okay, DEFINITELY probably an unpopular opinion, but it's related to what i'm talking about here, but i didn't love temptation of the force quite as much as the rest of the adult books, and i do think it diverged from plot to focus on the romance, which is fine, because i thought the romance was done very well, however. again. when we have one book left, now there's too much to cover and i feel like elzar took a step backwards idk)

overall, i think if you had to pick one character to be the protagonist of the adult books, elzar (or bell) is the strongest contender, and i feel like the authors keep forgetting that.

Give me a character; and i’ll break their ass down

[emeraldspiral]

It's honestly crazy how people have so many misconceptions about the behind the scenes drama with Invader Zim that's mostly just fabricated based on what we expect because of what we hear happens with other shows.

Like, the network censors did have some weird bones to pick with certain things the Zim crew wanted to do, but I think it should be obvious given the stuff that made it to air that they were actually quite lenient about what was allowed. I think somewhere there's even a quote from Jhonen saying he didn't actually have a lot of fights with them and that the only thing that would've changed if Zim were on something like Adult Swim where he could go totally hogwild is that people would just randomly explode sometimes. Like, Nick were the ones who asked Jhonen to make a show for them after reading his extremely violent and mature comic books. They knew what they were getting into and they knew what they were signing off on when they let episodes like Dark Harvest go to air.

Contrary to popular belief, Nick never "hated" Zim. It wasn't cancelled for being "dark" or getting complaints from Karens or inspiring serial killers or having low ratings, and they certainly didn't try to sabotage it on purpose with their wack-ass scheduling (how would that have benefited them?). Dark Harvest was in like, the third episode and they were mid-production on season 2 when the show was cancelled. It was Nick's most expensive show at the time and while it was getting good ratings it wasn't as profitable as they wanted it to be. So when Viacom's stock tanked and they needed to cut expenses they gave Jhonen a few different options to reduce the budget, and when they couldn't come to an agreement the show was cancelled. When deciding what episodes to finish Jhonen suggested changing the ending of 10 Minutes to Doom to have Zim die in order to give the show finality, but Nick wanted to leave the door open for the show to come back. Ultimately, it was decided that the Xmas episode should be the finale because it would make the most money.

Nick actually loved the show. They got exactly what they asked for and it did well despite the issues they had with scheduling it and their own ineptitude at marketing and merchandising it. When they ran a Zim marathon on Nicktoons Network in the late 2000s the ratings were something like the highest ever or second only to Avatar, and they did reopen negotiations with Jhonen to revive the show again. But they still couldn't agree on a budget so nothing came to fruition. Eventually though, we finally got the comics and ETF and I believe Jhonen said that there was supposed to be a revival series or some other continuation following ETF, but negotiations on that fell through because just when they were about to come to an agreement there was a change in leadership at Nick that caused negotiations to be scrapped.

It wasn't Jhonen and the network who had "creative differences". From what I understand, the only drama with "creative differences" on the show were with director Steve Ressel (and this was waaaaay before he got outed as a groomer in 2020). Apparently, there was enough bad blood between him and Jhonen and the rest of the crew that he said he wouldn't return to Zim if it ever got revived (and in fact he did not for ETF). I think it's actually quite telling that Steve recorded commentary tracks for the show by himself that didn't even make it onto the DVDs while Jhonen and all the writers and actors who were on the commentary tracks that actually got officially released sounded like they all got along really well and enjoyed working together. I think there was also even a conscious effort to avoid talking about Steve in the official commentaries.

Also, there's a whole blog post by Rikki Simons titled "Character Assassination Long Since Past Due" where he reams Steve Ressel for not only being a dick at work but for talking shit on his own platform and being the source of a lot of the misconceptions about Jhonen's attitude toward the show that persist to this day.

[not-wholly-unheroic]

Thoughts on Off to Neverland: 70 Years of Disney’s Peter Pan by Jim Korkis

Now that I have finished reading Off to Neverland, I’d like to share some thoughts on it—the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s start with the negatives and get that out of the way, shall we?

As mentioned in a previous post, the book starts out sounding rather clunky and more like a list of facts than an actual book. However, once we move past the original history of Peter Pan as imagined by J.M. Barrie and start getting into the history of Disney Peter Pan material specifically, it starts to improve. Korkis was, after all, considered a Disney historian, so I guess it’s no real surprise that he writes more excitedly about that side of things. That said, there are still some things that bugged me and made me feel like the book was slapped together in a hurry. I noticed several spelling errors, missing words, and/or weird punctuation throughout the book and while that doesn’t take away from the info itself, it’s rather distracting and unprofessional for a published book. It’s also troubling that Korkis has neither a bibliography nor footnotes in his book to indicate exactly where he got his information from. Some of it was, undoubtedly, from interviews he conducted himself, but even then, there is a way that you are supposed to write up interviews as source material for professional writing…and Korkis just…doesn’t for some reason. So if I want to look up more info on, say, a specific fact…I can’t really do that because I have no proof of an original source. Lastly, some of the “facts” he includes—and I’m being nitpicky here but the guy is supposed to be a Disney historian so I think I’m allowed to be—are straight-up WRONG. For example, in the Disney film, Hook is said to have a harpsichord in his cabin (it’s not; it’s a piano—listen to a harpsichord…it doesn’t sound like that) and a cutlass as his weapon of choice (cutlasses are curved on one side; his blade is definitely more akin to a rapier or a fencing sword). Smee is also said to be the first mate in the original film, and while it’s true that in some later Disney media like Jake and the Neverland Pirates has portrayed Smee as a first mate, the original film does not. Heck, the man has a bosun’s whistle that he uses to pipe up the crew and specifically mentions the first mate as one of the people spreading rumors about Pan having banished Tink during the scene where he’s pouring hot water on Hook’s feet. So clearly he isn’t the first mate, and you don’t have to be a Disney expert to know that. You just have to actually watch the film. The author also says that Cubby is referred to as Curly in the sequel, Return to Neverland…which, again, just listen to the film for yourself and you’ll quickly learn that isn’t true. Oh, and did I mention that he essentially defends the racist portrayal of the “Indians” in the original film? Yeah, so…there’s that.

On a more positive note, I did learn some interesting new things about Peter Pan in the Disneyverse (though, of course, since there is no bibliography, I can’t prove any of them…). So, here are a few fun facts for you fellow Peter Pan nerds, as promised.

(1) There were a LOT of changes made to the original script and storyline between its initial inception and the final version of the film we have today. A few things that were considered but ultimately not used include the following:

Wendy was originally going to be the one who wanted to go to Skull Rock while Peter warned it was too dangerous to go there, only giving in when she finally dared him to take them there.

In one version, Nana came with the kids to Neverland while John stayed home, being “too grown up” for Neverland.

There were several different suggested starting points for the film. One would have had an adult Wendy as narrator reading the story to her daughter, Jane. Another started with Peter’s backstory similar to his origins in The Little White Bird. In either this or another version with a backstory for Pan, we would have seen Tink as the queen of the fairies who, on being presented with the foundling baby Peter, decided that he should be raised by the fairies to protect them against the pirates and other threats and, in exchange, gave him the power of flight.

One version of the story that would have followed much more closely to Barrie’s storyline had Hook creeping down part of the way into Hangman’s Tree to poison Peter but getting stuck and weeping frustrated tears that land in Peter’s “medicine.” These tears, of course, turned out to be poison from the red of his eye as in the 2003 film. This version also would have featured Hook voluntarily jumping ship and being nabbed by a silent crocodile whose clock had run down.

Disney debated for a long time whether to make Peter Pan a live-action film, an animated film, or a hybrid of the two. In the case of the latter, Wendy and her brothers would have been live-action characters with Hook, Peter, and the other residents of Neverland as animated characters who sprung to life from Wendy’s storybook.

There was gonna be a fairy ball. And a scene with the fairies feeding the kids at a kind of banquet. Also a fairy jazz band. Yes, you read that right. Fairy. jazz. band.

(2) The very first Tink to fly over one of the Disney parks to head off the fireworks was a 70 year-old Hungarian woman of Jewish descent and former burlesque dancer. This lady, known as “Tiny” Kline, slid down a 784 ft long cable nearly 150 ft off the ground at speeds up to 30 mph nearly every night for three years…while fighting cancer.

(3) There was an earlier version of Return to Neverland titled Peter and Jane featuring Kathryn Beaumont reprising her role as Wendy and Corey Burton in both the roles of Hook and Smee. Most of the voice recording for this version was already complete when the directors decided to go a different direction with the film. Beaumont was ultimately replaced by Kath Soucie, and the role of Smee went to Jeff Bennett.

(4) Somewhere out there, a live-action reference model version of Return to Neverland exists, and I need it. I have no idea if any of the voice actors were used as models as in the original film, but either way, I really wish we had some way to access the recording, or at least stills.

(5) Apparently, the filmmakers’ reasoning for replacing the crocodile with the octopus was that they thought a toothy crocodile would be “too threatening” for younger members of the audience. That, and they wanted to come up with a new, creative way to torture Hook. (For some reason, Korkis seems to think that the octopus can’t see well because he views Hook and the crew as fish. This is another “fact” which I’m pretty sure is wrong. I always assumed the vision of the characters as fish was just to show that the octopus considered them all potential food, not an actual indication of the creature’s sight…but whatever.)

(6) And last but not least, I have to include Hans and Corey’s takes on Hook as a character because my thoughts on the book wouldn’t be complete without them. I’ve shared some of this before but it bears repeating.

Hans Conried:

“He is a much maligned character. If you read the lines with any sensibility at all, you must have an animus against Peter Pan who could fly, and took outrageous advantage of this one-armed man. Hook was a gentleman. Pan was not. His behavior was bad form.”

Corey Burton:

“He’s the nastiest of Disney’s comical villains. He’s conceited and bombastic and takes great relish in his evil and that makes him really fun to play. Captain Hook is so theatrical, like an old ham actor of the vaudeville and music hall days. It’s not that he really scares anyone because you can see right through all of his bluster. He’s really just scrambling for the recognition afforded Blackbeard and the other great pirates.”

I find it interesting that Burton, though his take on the character is more comedic than Conried’s, still has a rather sympathetic view of Hook—that his attempts at villainy are, in fact, so over-the-top precisely because they are meant to cover up a deep insecurity that he isn’t living up to what everyone expects him to be.

Overall, the book had some fun and interesting bits but wasn’t quite what I was hoping for. I’d love to send Korkis an email and ask him about some of the issues I had with the book and pick his brain. Unfortunately, he just passed away in July of 2023, so that’s no longer an option.

[nikibogwater]

Ya girl's been SICK this week (my first time getting Covid, yaaaay), which sucked, but it did mean I finally had the time to properly binge the How to Train Your Dragon movies for the first time since The Hidden World released. I've never actually sat down and watched all three films back-to-back before, even though this was THE film franchise of my teenage years. But having finally done so, I have Thoughts™.

First movie is still arguably the best of the three, if only because it's an entirely self-contained narrative. The script is really tight and focused, and the whole thing is really well-paced. The animation actually looks way better than I remembered, but that might just be because this was my first time watching it on Blu-Ray instead of digital.

First movie also still has the best soundtrack of the three (which is saying a lot, considering John Powell was absolutely COOKING with all three movies). "Test Drive" is just too iconic to be outdone.

I really like Astrid's character arc in the first movie. I normally don't like tough-as-nails girlboss characters because they're so often one-dimensional and boring, but she works really well for me because her girboss-ness is as much a flaw as it is a strength. While she is athletic and competitive in her own nature, she's also under a lot of pressure to be a tough warrior, since that's what her society values. I love the way Hiccup brings out her softer side, how he shows her through Toothless that it's ok to be gentle, that compassion is a strength in its own right. I love the way she in turn becomes his pillar of support and comfort. Somehow I'd forgotten just how good Hiccstrid really is.

It's weird re-watching the second film as an adult, because I can still clearly remember a time when it was just the coolest thing ever. The second film was really what sold me on the series as a whole, to be honest. Like, don't get me wrong, I always loved the first one, but the second is where I really started getting into the worldbuilding and characters.

So it's weird to come back to it now and find out it's....actually the weakest of the three films (in my opinion, anyways). I can't quite put my finger on why, but the second film feels like it "drifts along" more than the other two. Like things "just happen" without as much input from the characters. Again, I'm not sure why it feels like that, because it's not like the characters aren't proactive and shaping the way the story unfolds.

None of that is to say that the second movie is bad by any stretch of the imagination. It introduces a bunch of really cool new concepts that do a great job of expanding the world and characters. It just had that weird drifty feeling to it that the other two lacked. Does anyone even know what I'm talking about here, or am I just crazy??

It's nuts how much of a touchstone "For the Dancing and the Dreaming" became in fandom culture. Ten years later, and I still see this song popping up in fics from every fandom under the sun. I think that's a testament to how beautiful Stoic and Valka's reunion was.

Unfortunately, Drago Bludvist is....not a very good villain, imo. He kinda just screams a lot, and that's it. His whole thing of imitating dragons in order to subdue them is cool, but it really needed to be backed up by a stronger personality. But it's not too much of an issue since really, his Bewilderbeast is the real obstacle for the heroes to overcome.

Now, The Hidden World is a weirdly controversial movie within the fandom. I still see people whose hatred for this film rivals that of the Tales of Arcadia fandom's hatred for Rise of the Titans. Which...I gotta admit, doesn't make a ton of sense to me. Like, I can understand not liking the bittersweet ending, but it's not as though THW went out of its way to ruin the entire series.

Looking at the series as a whole, I'd say THW feels like the most logical and organic conclusion to the series. Especially if you've read the books or seen the tie-in tv shows. I knew going into this movie that it would end with the dragons leaving--DeBlois even told us as much in an interview leading up to the film's release. And I'm okay with that.

The first movie touches on the theme of loss with Hiccup's leg. The second movie digs into that theme a bit more, with the loss of his parents (first Valka, who thankfully is found again, then Stoic). The Hidden World dives headfirst into the idea. Loss is no longer a mere consequence of the story's events, but the thematic backbone of the whole movie. And it's here that I realized the series has always been about loss, because the series has always been about growing up. You can't mature without losing something, whether it's a place, a person, or your childhood naivete.

HTTYD uses its fantastic premise to explore a painful reality of our own world, and it does so in a way that's entertaining, sincere, and encouraging. Hiccup has lost so much on his journey to adulthood, but he's also grown strong enough to be able to rise above it. He'll be okay. Toothless will be okay. And we'll all be okay too. Idk, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but that's my takeaway from the series, and it's definitely something that I've needed to hear more than once as I've grown up.

Grimmel is definitely a huge step up from Drago for me. He's essentially who Hiccup would have become if he'd lacked that compassion that caused him to spare Toothless in the first film. I also love his overall demeanor and presence. He's not a force of nature, or a feral war-lord. He's just a Guy who is very, very good at his job and knows it. Plus, F. Murray Abraham just has a really cool voice.

Unfortunately, as much as I like Grimmel as a villain, he's still outclassed by Viggo Grimborn from Race to the Edge.

I can't get over how insanely good the visuals are in this series. Especially the textures. Like, there's times in the first movie where the textures look so good that the actual models almost can't keep up. I can see what Toothless's scales feel like, the scratchy weave of Hiccup's tunic, the coarse fur of Stoic's cloak. HTTYD is the only series I can think of that seamlessly pulls off a "realistic" look with animation. The world feels real, without taking away from the suspension of disbelief that makes animation such a freeing medium. It's as if they came to the edge of the uncanny valley, then got into a hot air balloon and floated across without ever touching it.

Looking back, I think this was just the perfect series to be a teenager with. It's just the right blend of action, adventure, and emotion, all wrapped up in a wholesome and often heart-rending tale of a boy and his dragon growing up together. I really wish we could have more series like this.

(Edit) Also the Light Fury is my favorite dragon species in the entire series, no I will not take that back, she's super pretty and sparkly and I just want to pat her on her cute nubby head.

[shallyne]

The Diary of Feyre Archeron Ch 9

(Romantically)

Chapter nine! So exciting! Some relief from the insanity of the past chapters. I hope you enjoy! Full Fic on AO3

Words: 1.1k

June 15th

Dear Diary, 

I still haven't burnt it. I will, I need to. I do, I know. I will. Soon. 

Although, the worst of the cases for Amarantha, Tamlin and Rhysand's father is over. It's been a hectic few months but we managed.

I have started therapy, too. It's been ROUGH but absolutely necessary. I'm glad Elain and Nesta pushed me into this direction, it's…I don't know how to explain it. I just feel so grateful for my sisters. We definitely had a rocky road and a fair share of fights over the years but when we needed it, we were there for each other, through our worst times. 

Since the accident, that's what I'm calling it now, Rhys and I have not spent one day apart. If it's work or just hanging out, he is there. Another wonder of the past months that I am infinitely grateful for. I have missed him a lot. I forgot how much of a rock he was for me. 

Something is definitely different between us now, though, but I am not mad about it. We became adults. He is some kind of criminal mastermind now (can you believe I say that casually? I would have RAN nine years ago!!) and I, well, I don't know what I am but I will find out. It's going forward, in baby steps. But baby steps are still steps! 

June 18th

The nightmares were bad again last night. After turning and tossing after an especially nasty one I called Rhys in the middle of the night. He actually picked up. That's insane, he should have been asleep. What did he even do at 3am? He refused to tell me. Not because he doesn't trust me but because he wants to focus on me. His words. It's kind of cute, right? 

I asked him to tell me about constellations because he LOVES astronomy, he's always getting super nerdy about it. 

For a moment I imagined him polishing his gun while telling me all about Orion and I kind of, I don't know, it was very attractive. It shouldn't be, right? That's wrong. That's SO wrong. 

I shouldn't get wet at the thought of him doing crimes. 

But I do. 

I should feel bad about it. 

But I don't.  

Haters can die mad about it. A wise woman once said “Haters gonna hate, hate, hate, hate, hate”

Anyways, I'm going to meet Rhys in an hour, I have to go now. 

June 19th

Nesta said Rhys and I are going on dates. Romantically. That's so not true! We are not going on dates. Romantically. I'd KNOW if we were going on dates. Romantically. This is absurd! And Elain agreed with my sister!! We never gave any signs that we would even date. He kisses my forehead to calm me down, nothing romantic about it. I enjoy it, yes, but that's a ME problem. And we only hold hands to not lose each other in crowds or to keep my hand warm. I get cold hands easily, even in summer. And we hug frequently but that's what friends do. They hug. People hug all the time. 

Nesta just gave me the Sure, Jan look and went back to reading her book while Elain stayed silent. 

Fine, if they want to think we are going on dates (romantically) then I can't stop them but this is not the truth! 

Rhys will also think it's ridiculous when I tell him over dinner later. 

Anyways, I can't decide if I should put on my wine red lipstick or my crimson lipstick. I'll decide on a whim when I'm done curling my hair. 

June 20th

What. Is. Happening. 

I

I don't know what is happening. 

Something is happening. 

Something GREAT is happening. Something amazing and equally terrifying. Oh god, it's definitely happening. I don't know what's happening. No, I know. I know what is happening but I just can't believe it. Maybe I'm still in that coffin and I am about to die and this is just a daydream and–

God no we're not going down that route. I definitely have to talk about this in therapy. But I digress. 

Okay, so, Rhys and I met for dinner yesterday and I told him about my argument with Nesta about her saying we go on dates (romantically) and he got that weird look, like, I was so sure he was about to agree with me that it's ridiculous. Spoiler, he didn't. He agreed with NESTA. He thought, well no, he hoped we were going on dates (romantically). I was flabbergasted. Absolutely shocked. I think I freezed for a moment, I'm not sure. Why was so sure about these dates not being romantic? I don't even know! I wore the sluttiest lipstick I have, that I bought for our dates. I'm so blind, oh my god. 

Anyways, he asked me if we are dating. I said yes. I cried. In the middle of the fanciest restaurant in velaris. I am dating Rhysand. This feels like a dream. And we kissed! I swear this was the most swoon-worthy kiss EVER. I'm blushing just thinking about it, I feel like a damn teenager. 

But, Rhys and I are only dating for now. I am not ready to throw myself into anything just yet and Rhys was, of course, respectful of my boundaries. We didn't have sex yet, either. I thought about it but I couldn't. Not yet. He said he's waiting as long as it takes. 

It was the perfect evening. 

June 28th

I just came from therapy and I have to write this. There is something I have to do and I will do it tomorrow. I am nervous. So god damn nervous about it but it's time. I feel ready, finally. So, it is time and I will do it no matter how hard. I will also ask Rhys to come with me, my therapist said I should take someone with me that I trust and I trust Rhys. With my whole life. I want him to be with me when I do this step and if I'm being honest, I need him to be with me. 

There is this quarter in Velaris, a quarter I never stepped foot into because I couldn't. There were times when I stood close but turned around, I never was quite ready. It's called the Rainbow, it's the Artist's quarter of the city, which Velaris is actually quite famous for. There's all kinds of arts strewn throughout the whole quarter, everyone finds their place there and there is also an art school people dream of attending, it's quite famous. 

I never took a look at it, or anything. But I want to. So badly. 

And I will. 

Tomorrow.

With Rhys. (I hope) 

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