#it was a good thing i practiced with this first before doing any important half-decent inking!!!

[yo-yo-yoshiko]

Looking forward to October...

[puckinghischier]

Mornings

quinn hughes x fem!reader

WARNING - SMUT! minors DNI. 18+. unprotected sex, fingering, p in v, basically smut with no plot

summary - quinn wakes up with a need to go slow n steady

notes - i have officially launched into writing for quinn and there’s no turning back now. i hope this is at least decent bc when it comes to writing smut, i feel like i’m always being too repetitive and not descriptive enough, so don’t yell at me if it’s bad 🫣. anyways, i hope you enjoy, and as always, happy reading!! 🫶🏼

request - soft morning sex with quinn

[2.3k]

Quinn has always been a morning person. He loves the feeling of being up before the sun, feeling like he has the world to himself. He loves being able to sneak out for a quick run, getting back in time to cook breakfast and make your coffee before you wake up. Sometimes he even loves just sitting beside of you as you sleep, reading or going over plays that he knows they’ll be working on in practice that day.

This morning? This morning he wants none of that. This morning he woke up to the sun peeking through the curtains of your shared room, way later than he intended, with one thing on his mind.

Forget a run, forget breakfast, forget hockey. All Quinn wanted this morning was you.

Last night the two of you attended a party hosted by the team at the rink. A fundraiser for some charity he can’t even remember at the moment.

What he can remember is the way you looked in your dress last night. From the second you walked out of your large walk-in closet yesterday, he wanted nothing more than to see the dress draped across the floor, but a few too many old fashions throughout the night caused an instant crash as soon as his head hit his pillow when the two of you got home last night.

His body very obviously didn’t forget how he felt last night, though. Which is very apparent right now.

Your body is slotted perfectly into his, his arms entrapping you and holding you as close to his body as he can. Even though you’re facing away from him, he can tell you’re not awake yet, your breaths steady and even. The observation made him think about having you just like that, slow and steady.

Readjusting his position, trying give a little relief to his aching dick, he hears your sharp inhale.

“Quinn, I haven’t even opened my eyes yet and you’re already horny and ready to go,” you grumble out, still half asleep.

Quinn lets out a low chuckle. “What can I say, baby? Can’t stop thinking about how good you looked last night.”

He brings his face down to give a light kiss to the back of your neck, bringing an arm up to move your sleep tousled hair over your shoulder.

You sigh at the feeling of his warm lips on your skin as they move away from your neck and down to your newly exposed shoulder.

Involuntarily, you scoot back to press your ass into him, causing a groan to ring out around you two.

“Don’t tease me now, baby, s’not nice,” he mumbles against your skin.

“Who says I’m teasing? Maybe I saw something I liked last night too,” you turn your body around to face him, hooking a leg over his hips, bringing your core closer to his.

His eyes lock onto yours, searching for any hint that you’re teasing him.

When he sees nothing but desire in your eyes, he closes the space between your lips, capturing yours in a searing kiss.

He grinds against you, tangling his hands in your hair. When he tries to deepen the kiss, you pull back in protest.

“I haven’t even brushed my teeth, let me go at least brush them before we do this,” you try to untangle yourself from his body, but his grip on you tightens, preventing you from moving further away.

“Not important,” he tells you, bringing you back in for another kiss.

This kiss was much slower than the first, the two of you simply savoring each other.

“Wanna take m’time with you,” Quinn mumbles against your lips, removing his hand from your hair to slip the strap of your silk tank top off of your shoulder.

Your response was a content sigh, feeling his hand slip under your tank top to fondle your breast.

“Just take it off, Q” you whisper, wanting the fabric gone.

He breaks the kiss long enough to remove your clothing, pressing his bare skin against your own.

You shift your position, laying your back flat on the bed and pulling him to hover over you.

Quinn lifts his head up, admiring your body, nothing but love in his eyes.

“You’re gorgeous, you know that? Don’t know how I ever got so lucky,” he speak softly, bringing a hand up to caress your stomach.

His words still make you blush, even after all this time. You move to bring your hands up to hide your flushed face.

“Nuh uh, no hiding that pretty face. Wanna see it always. Never wanna look at anything else,” he tells you, grabbing both of your hands in his large one, bringing them up to rest above your head. “Keep them there f’me, yeah?”

He trails the same hand down your body for a second time, this time letting it travel all the way down to the waistband of your shorts.

You gasp as he slides his hand under the waistband, his long fingers making contact with your clit.

“Especially wanna see your face when I’m doing this,” he slides his fingers down further, feeling the wetness coat his fingers. “God you’re soaking, baby. Guess I’m not the only one who woke up feeling needy.”

You inhale sharply, your mouth forming an ‘o’ when he slips a finger inside of you, pumping it in and out lazily.

“Can’t help it. You looked incredible in your suit last night. Even had a dream about it,” you gasped out, itching to thread your fingers through his hair, but keeping them above your head like he asked.

Quinn lets out a groan when he feels you clench around his fingers, bringing his thumb up to rub slow circles on your clit.

He notices your hands twitching as you squirm, deciding he wants to feel your hands on him.

“You can move your hands, pretty girl. Since you’re behaving so good,” he tells you as he adds another finger.

The second the words leave his mouth your hands are in his hair, tangling and twisting the strands around your fingers.

The strokes of his fingers are slow and steady, the pace driving you wild.

“Q, I need you. Need more,” you beg him.

“Uh-uh, told you I wanted to take my time with you. Need you to come nice and slow from my fingers before I give you anything else,” he picks up the pace just slightly.

You whine in protest, wanting to feel him.

Quinn circles your clit faster, but keeps the slow pace of his fingers. The contrast of the two paces causes the familiar knot to form deep in your stomach.

You remove one of your hands from Quinn’s hair to toy with your nipple, the added stimulation inching you closer and closer to your orgasm.

“There we go, get yourself there pretty girl,” Quinn rasps out, enjoying the sight of you underneath him.

His words aid in your impending release, always loving how vocal he is during sex.

He feels you clench around his fingers again, knowing you’re close to exploding.

“C’mon, just let go for me, baby. Show me how much you enjoy my fingers,” is all Quinn has to say before you’re seeing stars.

Your orgasm doesn’t match the slow motion of his fingers, your legs shaking as he rides you through the aftershocks.

Quinn removes his fingers from you, fully sitting up on his knees and bringing them up to his mouth and sucking them clean. The sight makes you fear another orgasm without even being touched.

As you lay there and recover for a few seconds, all you can think about is how badly you want to feel his dick inside of you.

“Please, Q, need to feel you inside of me,” you whine out, causing him to chuckle at your desperation.

“Well, who am I to deny a pretty girl what she wants?” he responds, lowering himself down to press a light kiss to your lips, moving a strand of hair out of your face.

You bring both hands up to rest on his neck, pulling him down to deepen the kiss, trying to show him just how badly you want him.

He meets your kiss with just as much enthusiasm, moving his hands to remove your shorts and underwear altogether.

You kick the pieces of clothing off of your feet, removing your hands from his neck to help him remove his own.

Once you’re both completely bare, you reach a hand down between the two of you, wrapping your hand around his hard dick, giving it a few strokes.

Quinn’s hips involuntarily buck forward, driving his cock further into your closed fist.

“Slow down, pretty girl. Told you I wanted to take my time with you. Won’t last if you keep touching me like this,” he grunts out, trying to keep some form of self-control.

He removes your hand from himself, replacing it with his own. He nudges your legs apart, bringing a finger to your entrance once again, collecting the arousal still dripping from you and spreading it around the tip of his dick, closing his eyes and shuddering at the feeling of your wetness on him.

“Remember, baby, slow and steady wins the race,” Quinn tells you as he guides himself into you inch by inch.

You cry out at the feeling, still sensitive from your first orgasm only minutes ago.

“Shit, you’re so tight. Always so tight,” Quinn hisses out, teeth clenched.

“Oh my god, Q, you feel so good. Needed this, needed you,” you whine, feeling every ridge and vein as he sets the torturous pace.

He brings his arms up to rest on either side of your head, going full missionary this morning.

Quinn pulls out completely each time before pushing back in, reminding himself with every stroke that he’s supposed to be going slow and savoring you.

“Don’t think I’ll ever get tired of this. Swear I’d stay here forever. Spend every second of every day between your legs like this. With my dick, my fingers, my mouth,” he tells you, earning a moan from you when you feel him twitch inside of you.

The slow, languid pace of his thrusts allows him to feel you in a way he’s usually too impatient for. He finds the soft, spongy spot deep inside of you, earning a moan that almost causes him to lose his composure.

“God, baby, can’t be making those noises like that. Gonna make me lose it,” he tells you, bringing a hand down to toy with your clit once again.

“Can’t help it. Feels too good. Need you to move faster,” you plead, loving the slowness but aching for relief.

He lowers his head, placing hot, open mouth kisses to your neck, keeping his current rhythm.

“Can’t. Enjoying this too much,” he mumbles against your damp skin.

Despite his words, you can feel him lose himself a bit, his thrusts getting just a little faster and sloppier.

All of a sudden he pulls out of you completely, removing his body from over yours. Up until this moment your eyes had been closed, but they snap open at the loss of contact.

Quinn sees your wide eyes and can practically see the whine of protest on your tongue, but he quickly brings himself to lay beside of you, pulling your body back into his.

“Don’t worry, sweet girl, just switching positions for a second,” he explains, lining himself up to your entrance once again, thrusting into you from behind as you lay on your side, opening yourself up to him with a leg slung over his own.

He keeps his same, slow strokes, but the new angle causes him to hit a place you’ve never known to exist until this moment.

“Swear I can feel you in my stomach, Q. Don’t stop. I’m so close,” you tell him, already feeling the coil tighten for the second time this morning.

The clench of your walls around his dick from this angle causes his balls to tighten, his own orgasm quickly approaching.

“Need you to let go before I can, baby. Wanna feel you make a mess all over me, think you can get there again?” he kisses the back of your neck.

Meeting his thrusts, you reach behind you to grab his hand and bring it over to stimulate your clit, needing some relief on the throbbing bundle of nerves.

Quinn presses his fingers down on your clit, hard, causing the bubble to burst inside of you, coming harder than you even had the first time.

“Oh my god, Q, I-“ you get cut off by your own moans, unable to prevent your body from shaking, his fingers still moving on your clit, intensifying the release even further.

The clench of your spent pussy nearly prevents him from pulling his dick out of you to thrust back in, causing such a pleasurable feeling it trigger his own orgasm, hitting him harder than he think he’s ever come before.

His body goes rigid, freezing inside of you with a groan. As you start to come down from your own orgasm, the feeling of his release inside of you brings a new wave of pleasure, knowing you’re the only person that gets to experience this from him.

He stays lodged inside of you long after you’ve both come down from your highs, wanting to stay as close to you as he can possibly be.

You let your fingers stroke the arm that’s slung over your frame, his large hand resting against your stomach.

After a few more minutes he finally slides himself out of you, turning your body to face him, assuming your earlier positions.

He stares at you, admiring the post sex glow on your face with the sun shining through the curtains behind you.

“What are you thinking about?” you ask him, wrapping a piece of his hair around your finger, playing with the small curls around his ears.

“How much I love mornings,” he gives you the cheesy line, causing you to laugh so hard you shake the entire bed, causing a large grin to break out on his face, looking forward to spending every morning for the rest of his life with you.

[twistedpink]

Who’s your valentine? @/cafekitsune banner

And the spinner says….

Jamil + hurt to comfort + non sexual intimacy (Post-graduation, ~1000 words)

Everyone and their mother knows how hard Jamil works. (Literally, there’s a colony of older women that pass him trinkets on the way to work now) It’s practically a walk of fame whenever you take him out.. Your neighborhood is poorer than most, and he’s got the best job in the building by far! Your man, a big shot <3

You’re lucky that even with all the attention, nobody sees the holes. That all the friends from college stopped visiting after the first month of avoiding clubbing like the plague- and it’s not that he’s abusive! Far from it! You only worry for his reputation, now that it really matters..

It feels like all you do these days is worry. How the washing machine is making those noises again (the sigh Jamil makes when you bring it up), or how the neighborhood cat turns her nose up at you even though you’ve spent hours at the porch for her (he says it’s a waste of time and money, but he’d never liked cats very much anyhow).

He goes on and on about how you should be resting and enjoying the “free time” you have more than you talk about anything meaningful anymore- You even miss small talk, and small talk sucks!

But, tonight, you’ll give him mercy. Today just feels special, and instead of mourning your past, sparks will fly!

When Jamil gets home you’re in a pressed, tight ensemble. Dinner is made fresh. The apartment is spotless (save for some petals)! It’s tasteful, romantic ;) He doesn’t make a single comment. In a frantic scramble to save dinner, you make the first contact in what feels like months

“So, how’s dinner? I tried out that seasoning pack you got!”

“I see.. You definitely tried.” Your own husband feels alien now- And it’s no wonder. He’s doing all these big, important things at work, and what do you do? What can you provide other than a decent meal and complaints?

Nothing.

Jamil heads to bed before you do, as he’s done for years, expecting you to amble in after a spot of trash tv. He isn’t awake long enough to cuddle, or do much of anything for your pleasure nowadays,,

The pleather couch is your only comfort now- and between fits of insomnia and cold sweats your covers are tossed aside in favour of wrestling up any half-decent sleep. Tomorrow will be better. There’s always tomorrow.

.

“Tomorrow”, as a concept, is terrible. A horrible thing tied so enthusiastically to hope should be illegal, but, boiling baths are pretty famous for making things more bearable, and you’re willing to try! There’s still rose petals in the hall, you kick limply at the velvety blobs in your peripheral, even if they don’t deserve the spite. If one thing’s for sure, you’ll probably never do something like this again.

The bath is already drawn when you arrive, aromatic steam tickles at your body hair as you’re lowered into the tub like one of those hot spring monkeys. You miss going to the zoo. God, you miss dates! It just feels like takeout and movies grew legs and walked away after your wedding- You were young, then, so full of potential,,

“You could’ve asked to join me.”

Suddenly, your eyes dilate like a kitten looking at a plastic mouse, and that faint, aware part of you floats away in the steam- Not before reminding you that it’s the weekend :) ! You can only watch as a drop of condensation make it’s way down his torso and into the towel laying loosely across his hips..

You waste no time- water splashes over the edge when you rush beneath the bubble cover. Sure, he’s seen you naked more times than you can count, but this is private!! You consider tossing the shampoo bottle, but decide against it. Even that’d be too good for him.. He’d run the bath with your salts and soaps, this belongs to you on principle!

“It’s my bath, I don’t need to ask!”

“Is that so? Then, I don’t need to either.”

You sigh before helping him in limply with one hand, and flicking water towards his face with the other- His hair is braided and tied back, but the front pieces where you helped him cut bangs a few years ago skim across the foamy surface. You resist fixing his exhausted hunch to spare your his pride.

You grab for his ankle with the tepid washcloth, and rub circles into his skin. He sinks back into the water to scooch into your touch and more of his hair gets wet, you make a note to wash it later.

“Is anything going on? Are the neighbours treating you well?”

Hm. Now you know his angle- Even after all these years, Jamil’s never been the type to initiate physical touch, but he knows you like it. The snake’s trying to butter you up!

“I’ve been treated well enough. Gonna’ start looking for a job soon, I think it’d be good to get out more. You understand, don’t you? With all the people you see?”

The wash cloth’s much softer in the warm water, and you scrub harder- only stopping when you notice the area going a little red. No matter how mad you are, he doesn’t deserve dry skin,, Jamil tosses around sighs and mumbled comments. You don’t need to work, he says, and you respond in kind. but I want to. The muscles in his thigh flex a little in response- akin to an eye twitch, you’d learned early on that he’d use flexing as a subtle way to reduce stress in school. He can’t hide from you here.

“Why would you want to work? It’s the worst way to spend your time. We have enough money- let me provide for you until we retire. You shouldn’t have make that sacrifice.”

You make him turn in the narrow tub, and begin to lavish his back and shoulders with the soapy water. Despite your ministrations, he stays so tense. Thinking back, maybe Jamil had never been truly comfortable.

“You ‘sacrifice’ yourself every day for your job. I’m tired of being alone all the time. Tired of not having you when I need to- When was the last time we were close like this?”

“I guess.. You’re right. We need to do this more often, but I only want you to work if you want to.”

“I do! Promise! But, in return I want you picking up less hours. There’s no point if you’re not here.”

For the first time in years, you are happy. He leans into your chest lovingly, and looks at you. Really sees you again, like when you were younger, when you were passionate. The change’ll take time, but for now, you’re happy with the progress.

“Happy Valentine’s Day. Thank you.”

“It’s Valentine’s Day??”

Beta read by @/Echosofmortality!!

[goodluckclove]

Migration Patterns - Twelfth Movement Sneak Peek

Spoilers! Decently big? Spoilers in the sense that it does sort of tell you what the fuck is going on in a way none of the characters you've met so far really understand. So if you don't want that avoid this.

But yeah I'm proud of myself because I consider lore a huge weak point so I hope you enjoy this and maybe whisper "ooooh" under your breath.

Eddie Gallows stayed exactly where the doctor left them. They waited – indefinite waiting, tip-of-the-roller-coaster waiting.

It was harder, being alone and all. They understood why it had to be this way. Doc explained that there needed to be a large enough radius around Eddie to ensure that they had any real chance to project the way they wanted to. At first Eddie protested. This was an important mission and maybe Doc’s one chance to express what he’d learned from years of research. Wouldn’t it be better if he was the one to try and share it?

The doctor told him it wasn’t possible. Eddie was the one with the link – however weak – and that indefinite connection was crucial to his plan.

And besides, he assured Eddie. You’re clever as hell. You know what you’re doing. And I didn’t learn half of what I know now until you found me.

Eddie repeated that vote of confidence in their mind over and over, for a good stretch of their initial isolation, until the words threatened to stop making sense. At one point they laid down on the endless expanse of floor, as they used to so often before Doc taught them how to Recall.

From where they were they could see the faint outline of the human shapes hanging above them, some flickering, some drifting in place. The closest thing Eddie had to stars now.

When they first met Eddie asked the doctor if the sight of all those ghostly shapes still scared him. He said they never did. He said the sight made him homesick, which for a long time Eddie didn’t understand.

They got it now.

Eddie pulled themselves up into a sitting position and opened the flap of their school bag. The scent of the leather was vivid in a way that wouldn’t make sense if it wasn’t a product of their memory. There was a tinfoil-wrapped treat from the doctor inside, one of a few he sent them off with. Eddie figured by then they waited enough and deserved to enjoy one, so they pulled apart the shiny silver (It shined too sparkly and crinkled a little too precisely) and revealed what it was preserving.

A large slice of pepperoni pizza – still hot, fresh from a pizzeria in New York that the doctor explained closed years before he ever ended up here.

Even though they had no sense of hunger anymore, the smell of cheese and pork provoked a sort of emotional churning within themselves. They smiled and started to take a bite from the tip, fumbling the huge shape between both hands before remembering what they were taught.

Eddie folded the pizza to better grasp in one hand. They took a moment to enjoy the execution of this novel technique, and the quiet sense of pride that this was something they even knew what to do.

They took a bite and hummed happily. The biggest benefit of their new existence by far was the access to the doctor’s breadth of experiences. His memories were far better than Edgar’s. The food, especially, was infinitely tastier.

Midway into their slice of pizza (The slices were so large in New York. Eddie struggled to process people eating them in one sitting) they felt a pull their recognized so easily. Eddie quickly put the slice and wiped their hands against their pants, awaiting the indistinct manifestation of a different reality forming around them.

It was seeing without seeing. Eddie learned through practice how to recognize things that made sense out of the shape and color. It was hard. It never got less hard.

Eddie couldn’t help but smile when he felt Scott’s presence.

How is it, Goose? He was saying.

Scott mentioned Goose before. Eddie was glad to know she was still around, and happy to hear the affection in Scott’s voice when he spoke to her.

She was farther away. However she answered, Eddie couldn’t make out the words.

That’s good. Can I take my arm out now? The cuff feels a little – oh, okay. Great.

Eddie dug through their bag and pulled out a worn paperback. Another Recall from the doctor. The Ego and the Id was a bound version of the paper published by Sigmund Freud. When Doc first formed it from a handful of the material under their feet he remarked that he “never expected to need this for any real reason”.

He read it over the next hour. Occasionally Eddie noticed him roll his eyes or mutter under his breath. As someone recently and perpetually thirteen, Eddie admired the doctor’s refined ability to glower and angst.

The hundred page were heavily annotated, but Doc said the only ones Eddie needed to study were the lines highlighted in blue and the few lines written on the back cover. What he failed to notice before giving the book was the scraps and post its stuck within the rest of the pages.

Eddie studied. It was important for Eddie to study as much as they could, especially given they had no real way to determine the time in a reality where time still mattered. So they read the Doctor’s summarized thesis on the back cover, burning it into memory.

You have lost your nature, it said. You are losing your foundation. And then, with harsh lines underneath the larger letters, the doctor wrote ESCAPE SYMBIOSIS.

It was a deeply complex issue made as simple as it likely could. It must’ve taken years of study and interpersonal experience in order to make something so frightening sound relatively neutral. The notes in the pages before that reflected a different tone entirely.

Eddie heard Edgar’s voice, which always startled them at first. When his older counterpart spoke the voice was farther, yet it buzzed In Eddie’s throat as if they were the one speaking.

It’s the same as mine, it said. One nineteen over seventy.

Pretty healthy, Scott jested. Doesn’t make much sense for you.

Oh sure. Not compared to yourself, you picture of perfect health.

They were joking. It was wonderful to hear. It hurt Eddie more than the silence ever did or ever could. They focused on their studying, flipping through pages and catching snippets of the doctor’s thesis back when it was far less calmer.

In the first introduction of the three labels Eddie had heard so often, the doctor had made three small notes in the space between lines. Above “superego” was dead, above “ID” was dying, and around the word “ego” was as many question marks as could be legibly fit in.

At the bottom of one page Doc scrawled a hasty equation. “Over-I” is parent. “It” is child. “I” is birthright? And beside that, he wrote, feeling made flesh?

In the corner were some vague words, seemingly connected. Birthright, organs, cells. Academics, virus, parasite. Affiliate, and then, at the end of an arrow beside that word, vaccine?

A few pages later, in the margins. Aspiration pneumonia risk is seventy percent.

There was writing under that, crossed out almost to the point where Eddie couldn’t make out the words. It took some time but they figured it out. He’s not a fucking idiot, the doctor wrote.

That didn’t appear related to what Doc told them to remember. It wasn’t something Eddie could recognize from anything he told them before.

They flipped the page and were startled to see variations of the same single note written, over and over again, all over the twin flaps of faded yellow paper. It was scratched into the sides of paragraphs and cramped above every mention of the word “ego”.

ROT, it said. ROT, ROT, ROT.

Eddie had to close the book after that. The doctor was level-headed most of the time. And when he was struck with frenzy for a stretch of time, he would make a point to ensure Eddie was cared for before separating himself for the time being.

Was this what was he was thinking in the meantime?

Eddie couldn’t think like that. It wasn’t the time, it wasn’t the place – and even if that wasn’t true nothing about that was their place to make theories about. They had to study. They had to remember everything they could.

They allowed themselves another bite of pizza and went back to work.

-

songbird tag hop on hop off

@kuebiko-writing @cartoonghosts 

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@fukurouonthesea

[kariachi]

Who wants daemon au fic?

Kevin and Annelie and the arts because you will take artsy!Kevin from my cold dead hands.

~~

“Annelie.”

“It’s not my fault you’re taking three hundred years.”

“You want this done right, or not?”

She huffed and rolled her eyes as much as a mongoose could in unison with her other half. He levelled her with a narrowed look that had no effect, just in case, before turning his attention back to the block of wood in his hands. With a small readjustment to his grip, Kevin returned to carefully running the wooden nail of his thumb over the piece, leaving behind something like the little locks her fur formed on its way over the top of her head. After each stroke he checked it against the real thing.

They’d always had a talent for making things. Ben joked that Kevin must have been a beaver in their last life, and Susi and Manny both delighted in bringing them loose pieces and seeing how long it took the pair to put them together. Machines most often came together like puzzle pieces, work as well as a hobby and a childhood dream, tooth and claw sank in and the various angles and connections rotating in their brain like they belonged there. But other arts worked just as well.

Sculpture had always been big for them. Not the act of carving from wood or stone, neither had ever been any good at ‘seeing the piece within the block’ as Gwendolyn and Llyr had one parroted from a class, but laying things together to form a greater whole. They’d been masters of paper mâché in school, and driven art teachers mad as they sat in the back of the class, one carefully making little bits and bobs for the other to deliberately build up to a grander whole. When, of course, Kevin wasn’t doing as he was now, using his powers to build what they wanted how they wanted it.

He would be the first to admit that he wasn’t all that great at it yet, though Annelie argued he was decent. Their life so far had only allowed so much skill to be built when it came to the small details. When you were paying your own bills then what brought in money was more important that improving your sculpting, and none of the crime and tech work that had kept them fed had required the delicate work he was practicing now. With money no longer an issue, with their mental health in a better place, with people who had learned about their childhood dream of combining their machines and their art and were encouraging it. They’d never been in a better place to get back into that old rhythm, to improve in all those places that had fallen by the wayside.

And what use was a daemon if not as a live reference? Even if she did grumble about having to stay in a single spot while he was working. Wasn’t as if she didn’t have a book to read. Anyway it was traditional, neither of them had been able to name any artists who hadn’t done self-portraits of each other, or find any records of them. Fuck, the most famous of Michelangelo’s portraits had been done by his Salacia, and even Annelie had made her fair share of pieces of Kevin when they were children. Nowadays it was harder for her, restricted by her shape in what mediums she could use, but he liked to think he more than made up for that with the small bookshelf nearly filled with practice pieces of various materials.

“You know,” she said, as she let him shift her head for a better look around the ears, “Cassie asked last week why we didn’t just carve the fur and stuff in like the fuckers on youtube?” Kevin’s nose crinkled.

“It wouldn’t come out right.”

“Is what I told her, and you know what she said to me? That we’re ‘anal about our work’.” Their eyes met as they parted, unimpressed looks mirrored, frown to lowered ears, the next words coming in unison.

“Pot. Kettle. Black.”

“Anyway, has she not met her cousins,” Kevin asked, returning to his practice with a roll of his eyes.

“I don’t think so,” Annelie answered as he double checked the latest lock, scowled, and broke it off. “So from now on we’re charging them double for… anything.” A smirk slid over his face.

“We already do, Annie.” She mirrored it.

“I know, we’re doubling that.” They both snorted laughter, one after the other, flashing teeth at each other.

“This rate they’re gonna be paying a cool mil every time they need something.” With a little groan, Annelie stretched out a hind leg and settle back into her book.

“The amount of work we put in, we deserve it.”

[magicalqueennightmare]

Sins & Amends Chapter 45

(Not Adi considering the Reader is non descriptive but this baby is cute af)

Billy Russo x Female Reader (60 part story)

This follows pre- the punisher into the storyline of daredevil, punisher season 1 and beyond

This is NOT Canon Billy. This is decent human being Billy left with bad options over worse decisions

This was also posted to A03 under: WaywardGaPeach. That account and this one is the only place you'll see me post this. If you see it on any other platform/account know it's not me.

Chapter Summary: As Adi's first birthday draws near a new deal is presented from Homeland but no one will sign off on it unless you do

Every day that passed with Adi brought what family you still had closer. Once your maternity leave was over the days that you and Karen both had to work Sarah was more than glad to babysit.

When Frank had time off him and Karen would practically beg you to let her stay over with them. Curtis was always on hand when you needed someone too considering he lived closer to your place than anyone else and even Matt and Foggy would stop by more often.

Whenever she would look up at you with those dark brown eyes of Billy's that you had fell in love with so long before you knew she was twisting you around her little finger even more. She was the best thing that had ever happened to you no matter how she'd come about.

You still got together with Frank, Karen, Curtis, Foggy and Matt but it was now once a week. Sometimes Candance or Marci would come but one thing remained the same, every aunt and uncle would fight for the chance to hold little miss Adi while all of you caught up from the week. 

Frank would relent most times considering him, Karen and Curtis saw her the most but sometimes if he'd had a rough day or things were just bugging him he'd keep her tucked tight against him and only give her up when you had to feed her or change her although sometimes he'd grab a bottle or clean diaper before you had a chance.

To you it seemed as if Frank was combining the love he'd once felt for her father into the love he had for her. 

As for Karen she was the best aunt you could ever imagine for Adi. She'd had your back throughout the pregnancy and would still do anything for you or Adi. She'd crossed the line somewhere along the way from best friend to more of a sister. It felt almost like it had with you and Maria. You more than understood what had originally drawn Frank to her back when he was still neck deep in being the Punisher. She was amazing.

You still missed Billy every day. Every day you saw Adi growing and knew it was something so precious and so important and that he was missing out on so much. He had barred you from visiting him or calling and a child wasn't something you told someone about in a letter so you'd sworn everyone who still had contact with him to secrecy about her. You just didn't see a point in adding that pain onto him. It was just better he never know.

Adi was almost six months old when Curtis stopped by one evening after his weekly visit to see Billy. You hadn't been expecting him so when he knocked on the door you answered with her half asleep on your hip. "Look baby it's uncle Curt!" You handed her to him with a smile "Perfect timing. I need to fix a bottle so I can put her down"

She nuzzled into his chest sleepily as he asked her about her day like he was talking to an adult and expecting a response.  

You glanced over your shoulder at the two of them walking around the living room while you made her bottle in the kitchen and smiled "Not that I'm complaining Curt because you know you're always welcome but to what do I owe this visit?" You asked walking back into the living room to hand Adi's bottle to him.

He settled into the recliner Foggy had bought you when you were pregnant and offered the bottle to her then glanced up at you "I need to talk to you and Frank said he needed your answer before he agreed to anything" "Ok gotta point out that doesn't sound good" you half joked watching Adi's head dip twice before the bottle fell down beside Curtis. 

He nodded at her "Get her settled and I'll start coffee" you stood to pick her up off him but not before saying "Coffee and needing to talk..are we having a meeting Curt?" He shrugged "in a way yeah I guess so" you scooped Adi up onto your shoulder and tilted your head back at the kitchen "Well you know how I take my coffee. I'll be back as soon as she's down good"

------------------

After you got her settled in her crib and grabbed the baby monitor you walked back into the kitchen where Curtis was carrying two cups of coffee to the table. He sat yours down in front of a chair then sat across from you. 

"Well you said we needed to talk but um what about?" You asked taking a tentative sip of the coffee while he made himself busy adding sugar and creamer to his own cup. "Well you know Frank's went with me a couple times to see Billy now"

You did in fact know that. It had almost bothered you that it seemed you were the only one Billy didn't want to see. It had been a little over eighteen months since he turned himself into Mahoney. "Are you coming to tell me they tried to kill each other on one of the visits because I'm really not sure what to say to that considering Matt and Foggy are both of their lawyers" 

Curtis cracked a smile at that and shook his head "No actually what I came to talk to you about is that apparently our little team is proving handy to Homeland. Me, Frank and David are working well with Madani, Stein and their team so she offered the prospect of another deal possibly being put on the table but I um well honestly I drew the short straw because everyone is in agreement we want to make sure you're ok with it"

"Another deal? What, do they need a medic? I'm happy where I am" you couldn't help letting a joke slide to cover up the knot that had formed in the pit of your stomach the moment you put together the pieces he'd laid out.

"They want to offer Billy a deal. He gets time served when it hits the two year mark then he comes to work for Homeland. He'll be under certain requirements for the first year same as Frank was along with being under the care of a psychiatrist which Kenzie has already been approached about but after that he'll be free and clear and officially an agent"

You sat your cup down hard to keep from dropping it and glanced down the hall towards Adi's room. "So what the SAC of Homeland wants my permission to offer a deal? Seems like everyone has already been told about this but me. Hell I'm just his baby mama. He hasn't spoken a word to me or tried to write me besides that one letter since he went in. Why should I have any say so?" You realized you were going on the defense hard but hell you had the right to be. So much had happened since Billy went to prison. 

Curtis looked down at his cup then glanced up "The doctors are confident in his recovery. Y/N he's healed up a lot. He remembers a lot more. Stuff he's glad he remembers and stuff he wishes he could forget again. He remembers making the deal with Rawlins for Frank to be in the cross hairs instead of you. He remembers the smuggling, Anvil. Every person he cared about that he hurt he remembers most of it. There's still some blanks spots but they're willing to sign off on the condition he keeps with his treatment plan"

"Once again Curtis what the hell does that have to do with me?" You asked hearing the edge to your voice when you spoke. He shrugged and that smile he wore in meetings slipped into place "Y/N he loves you. He's always loved you. I think, no I know he'll want to see you. If that's too much it's ok I'll handle it but know not a visit has went by that he hasn't asked about you. We've all avoided that certain subject but if he gets out he's going to want to at least talk to you and there's no way to hide a child when you'll be face to face. Frank won't sign off unless you're ok on it. Neither will I or Stein and Dinah has already said if you're not ok with it she'll squash the deal as if it never happened" 

You took a deep breath and stood up abruptly. Yesterday if someone had asked you'd resigned yourself to the fact that Adi would probably never meet Billy. You had pictures of him throughout the apartment. She carried his last name and if you were being honest you wanted nothing more than for her to have some sort of relationship with him. Him being in prison for the two year mark was still eight months away. Could you prepare yourself in that amount of time?

You hadn't realized you'd been pacing until Curtis stepped in front of you and grabbed your arms "I don't need an answer tonight. I just wanted to lay the newly played cards down" you nodded slowly then said "If Frank's ok with the deal so am I. My only condition is I tell him about Adi" he smiled then motioned back to the table "No one else has the right to tell him about her. Now let's finish our coffee then come tomorrow I'll let everyone know the ball can start rolling"

You never knew that time could move so incredibly slow yet so incredibly fast at the same time. The next few months crept by at an iceberg pace. Your nerves were getting worse the closer it came to Billy getting out.

A small reprieve came in the form of Adi choosing to start walking on the day she turned ten months old. You were sitting in the middle of Frank and Karen's living room with her on your lap. You'd been talking to Karen but the moment Frank walked in Adi had stood up which she'd been doing for a couple weeks but then she took a few wobbly steps. All of you held your breath so Frank walked closer. She made it to him before she started to fall but he caught her before she could. "You wanted uncle Frank huh kiddo?" He asked her with a broad smile. 

Karen grinned at you "Oh he's gonna talk about this for months" Frank winked at her "Why wouldn't I? Out of everyone she walked for her uncle Frank" 

Of course the next few days after that involved Frank and Curtis baby proofing every household Adi spent any time whatsoever at. 

The day of Adi's first birthday Karen was over bright and early to help you despite her party not being until that afternoon. 

Sarah and David were out of town visiting family and had came the week before to bring her presents. Dinah had to be in meetings so did Sam so it would be you,Frank, Karen, Curtis, Alice, Kenzie and Matt at your place. Foggy and Marci were working late on a case.

Adi had went down for her nap so Karen was decorating while you put the icing on both cakes."So how are you doing?" Karen asked as you put the finishing touches on Adi's smash cake. You shrugged "I'm good. Nervous that the date is ticking closer but I'm not thinking about it today. Today is about Adi" she grinned and went back to decorating.

---------------------

By the time you and Karen were finished Adi was waking up. You walked into her room and found her laying in the bed talking to her stuffed wolf Frank had bought her. She had named him Coco the moment Frank handed him to her. "Hey babygirl you ready to get dressed?" You asked and she sat up. 

"I pick?" You laughed and pointed to where you'd already laid three outfits out "Yeah baby, you pick"

You picked her up out the crib then made sure her legs were under her before letting her go. She waddled over and looked between them before pointing to her purple and pink dress. "Good choice! Let's get ready. Aunt Karen even bought you a birthday bow to put in your hair!" Her eyes widened at the mention of a bow.

-----------------------

While you were finishing Adi's hair you heard a knock at the door. "Wonder who that is?" You asked and she grinned "Unkie Frank?" You tilted your head and sure enough heard Frank's deep voice "It is uncle Frank! Let's go show him how pretty you are"

She walked over and grabbed your hand then pulled you towards the door so you opened it and let her waddle out. "Unkie Frank!" 

He of course gushed over how pretty she looked. "Are you ready for some cake babygirl?" She nodded. So he looked back at you "Everyone else is downstairs finding places to park"

-------------------------

You were standing between the kitchen and living room watching with a smile while Karen took photos of Adi demolishing the smash cake. 

She held out one hand towards Frank and called "Unkie Frank" and you knew he was had. He dropped his head with a sheepish grin and walked to her "Yeah babygirl?" Her response was to smear hot pink icing across his face. You couldn't remember the last time you laughed so hard.

You heard the camera clicked and realized Karen had caught a candid of you and she grinned "Sorry mama. You looked too happy not to catch it" then she turned her attention back to Adi and Frank who was now being offered pieces of cake from Adi. Matt walked up next to you and bumped your shoulder "how's Frank look wearing icing?" You laughed and leaned towards him "I don't think I can accurately describe it" he grinned in response "Your voice tells enough of a story"

You glanced towards his face and saw he was facing towards where Adi was sitting giggling as Curtis came close enough for an icing attack on him as well. "So are you excited for Billy to meet her?" He asked after a moment and you went silent knowing he could tell if you lied. 

"Honestly? I'm nervous Matt" one eyebrow raised before he said "Why? I've talked to him Y/N. He's even asked me about you. I don't know how much he remembers where you and I are concerned but I don't think he's exactly gonna get out and run when he finds out you have a daughter"

"I've hid her from him" you clarified and he shrugged "All of us in this room have hid things from each other at one time or another. Doesn't mean we don't care. It'll work out but for today just enjoy Adi. You're an amazing mom and have busted your back to make sure she's had a good life up until now. Whatever comes next you have her back and we all have yours" 

That was something you had always liked about Matt, he always seemed to be able to talk people into believing in themselves. Even when he didn't believe in himself after Elektra was killed. There had been a while you had worried about him but you had in his own words been too stubborn to let him go through it alone.

"Thanks Matt" you said and reached out to hug him but he'd turned into it before you had a chance which shouldn't have surprised you "Any time. Remember no matter what's in the past we're friends. You said it yourself back when Adi was first born. It's a motley crew but we're all family by now" "Even Billy?" You asked quietly and he nodded "Even him"

The next two months seemed to come and go in the blink of an eye. 

Curtis had ended up as a go between of sorts to plan Billy wanting to see you when he got out. After some thought you'd decided it was better to rip the bandaid off so the working plan was that Karen would come pick up Adi about an hour before Billy was supposed to be at your place giving the two of you enough time to talk.

It was a simple enough plan but just like everything in your life when did anything ever go as planned?

@intothesoul

@weallhaveadestiny

[out-and-aboot-eh]

Day 5 - Emerald Lake & White Water Rafting

A slightly later start today as we set our alarms for 06:00 as that would give us enough time to thaw out, get packed up and get some breakfast at 07:15am before leaving at 08:00 sharp! Today’s breakfast was ‘mystery meat’, which tasted to me like those frankfurter sausages you get in jar, but these were flat and round, topped with a runny fried egg. A runny egg that G bit in to and it exploded all over her. Spirits in camp were high with many an egg pun flying around, but no sooner had we finished our ‘eggcelent’ baps then the rain decided to come out in full force. After a bit of a scramble to get everything under some sort of cover temporarily, it was time to load up the trailer and be on our way to our first stop of the day, Takkakaw Falls.

As transportation goes our minibus is pretty damn good; a decent sound system, some charging ports, cool air-con and for days when you’re left a bit soggy, very good heating. Too good some might say if you’re sat cooking in the back! As it was a jam packed day it was a swift visit to Takkakaw Falls, but as always it was a beautiful spot to take in before heading off to Emerald Lake. Georgie and I were both in agreement that if we were to return to Canada we’d stay somewhere like this for a few days, lovely lodges, a lovely lake and a lovely cup of hot chocolate… might be time to crack out the thesaurus!

We were given an hour and three quarters to explore and by the time G and I had jumped off the bus and nipped to the loo, everyone else was half way around the lake! Which is no bad thing as I know how important a bit of alone time is to G, so we got a hot chocolate and set off on the trail around the lake, which even we couldn’t get lost on… in theory! There was a gentle trickle of rain as we followed the path through the little village of lodges which looked extremely luxurious compared to the sodden tents we’d be setting up later that day! The lake was a smooth pool of flat emerald blue water surrounded by forest and mountains. We stopped to take a few photos, but had to hot step the final stretch to make sure we were on the bus in time (which we were with a few minutes to spare!)

Our next destination was the Kicking Horse River, for a spot of White Water Rafting, but before we gave that a go, it was time for a spot of lunch. A nice easy picky lunch of meats, dips, crisps, veg and mini naans. Once fuelled up, it was time for the group to split. Myself, Georgie, Iain, Michaela, Hannah, Daisy and Christine aka Little Fingers (the only person whose nickname has stuck on the trip so far!) were off to get our dinghy on after signing our lives away. We were given a comedic overview from the river manager Josh and headed off to get booted and suited, wet suited that is! Apparently there’s some weird fish lurgy in the river which can impact other fish which means you should wash your swimmers before going in any other water. And apparently the less clothes you wear in a wet suit, the warmer you’ll be. So this was a no brainer for Iain and I, birthday suit straight in to wet suit and away we went to get fleeces, life jackets and helmets. We boarded a yellow school bus and headed to the start of our watery trail whilst enjoying a bit of banter with one of the leaders who was Scottish.

Once there we were given the health and safety talk and divided into groups. As a group of 7 we had a whole raft to ourselves with the Captain of the establishment, Josh at the helm. As we took off down the river he told us what to do when he called out the various instructions, which must be global as they were the same in NZ! We started off with Georgie and Christine at the front, with the most important job on the boat, blocking the water from the guide! Behind them were Michaela and myself aka the front paddles, back paddles were Iain and Hannah with Daisy on chilling duty. We practiced a few commands before our first ‘get down’ which saw us well and truly introduced to the Kicking Horse River as we were submerged in to the rapids! It would have been worth bringing the Go-Pro just to capture G’s reaction of shock in that moment when we realised the water was 4 degrees!

Josh was a good craic and guided us down the river effortlessly, behind the other 7 or so boats ahead. The watery road was awash with rapids, rocks and drops, which meant we did have to pull our weight on occasion when instructed. Around the half way stage we swapped around so me and G were in the back and the other 5 in the front.

Daisy and Hannah were placed at the top of the boat like a couple of mermaids. As all the other groups were ahead of us we could see what was coming, but Josh decided to pull a move that none of the others had - ‘The Titanic’. He shouted at Daisy and Hannah to ‘get down’ at the front of the boat whilst Iain, Michaela and Christine bundled on top, essentially pinning them down! Aghast with shock, Daisy’s mouth was left gaping for the waves of water that crashed over the boat and subsequently down her gullet! A combination of raucous laughter and spluttering followed after being done so dirty by our captain, who I think at one point (after a fair amount of laughing or crying from Daisy it was hard to tell) was genuinely concerned that he might have gone too far! But it was all good and on our merry way we went, as thankfully no ice bergs were hit, just half a river swallowed! As we came towards the end of the river we were given the opportunity to see what it would be like had we fallen out, so Iain and I hopped off and dangled for a bit before being reeled back in like a couple of big ol’ white sturgeons. Aka grabbed by the life jacket and heaved, which for those on board was quite an effort! Iain had a possy to do the job, but Poor G had the gargantuan task of hoofing me into the boat on her own, which she managed! Go on muscles!

Once back to shore we loaded the boats onto a trailer and hopped back on the yellow buses, all buzzy from our trip down the river, although a few of us would have been keen for some more extreme rapids and drops, but it was still a lot of fun and better still no black eyes from rogue paddles! Once back at camp it was a quick strip and change before checking out the photos, which were a good selection and between the group, a reasonable purchase! We did our best to recount the Daisy waterboarding story, but for full effect you really did have to be there!

Onward we went to our final destination of the day, Canyon Springs Camp Ground in Revelstoke. This wasn’t on our original itinerary, but due to wildfires in Jasper (which is where we were supposed to go) that was our heading and home for two nights. It’s a beautiful location, with excellent facilities near to our spot, if you’re willing to part with your hard earned loonies and toonies! Including a hot spring pool, warm swimming pool and showers, shop and cafe. And some of the group were excited at the prospect of being on grass as it’s softer on the old bones (but wetter on the smelly feet!) As we were given a sizeable patch of turf to set up, it was a free for all, but we’ve pitched in quite close proximity to one another so G’s snoring (or possibly mine on occasion) can’t have offended anyone too much! I’d used all camp/hiking birthday presents by this point (thanks guys!) except the cutlery, which it turns out can double up as tent pegs (as there’s a shortage) to help keep it dry, thanks Cal!

It was a sausage couscous for dinner followed by little s’mores type dessert. As a self confessed chocoholic, I emphasised my appreciation to Megan at having something sweet after every dinner! We chatted for a bit after but didn’t stay up too long as it had been a long day and we all needed a good long sleep!!

G’s highlight of the day was: A walk around the Emerald lake with a hot chocolate in hand!

Photos to follow once the service picks up!!

[not-poignant]

Hey there. Do you have any tips on how to stay consistent with writing, and how to stay focused on the task at hand?

Hi anon!

So firstly, I've answered versions of this question quite a few times so you might want to go into the 'Pia on Writing' tag because they'll be there.

A quick look has found:

How to write more words regularly - This one is good for just...straight up practical advice.

But I wanted to speak frankly which is - what works for me might not work for you! We all have different strengths and weaknesses and depending on how we orient towards writing depends on what those weaknesses are. For example, I need to learn how to take more breaks and rest more, and not write as much. The 'writing a lot and sometimes too much' comes pretty easily to me these days.

Not all writers are meant to be consistent writers. I don't have a daily habit and I haven't written anything at all in a week and a half. I have my monthly wordcount and that's it. Someone else might need to write or edit every day, in order to not lose sight of their projects. Someone else might need five intensive days a month. It will depend on their nature, their personality.

Not all writers have the same reasons behind why they can't stay focused on a task. I have ADHD, but I can also hyperfocus on characters and a storyline. Others have ADHD, and cannot hyperfocus on their characters or storyline long enough to finish a story. That's a problem I don't know how to remedy, because I don't have that kind of ADHD, so I've never had to 'solve' it before. Some writers are perfectionists which hamper them, I am not a perfectionist and I'd rather the thing be out in the world with some flaws, than on my computer talking to no one. I need the dopamine more than I need something to be perfect. So you see anon, sometimes the things that impact us just aren't universal, which means you need more specific advice. There will be perfectionist writers who will have lots of great advice, there will be ADHD writers who get bored of a story who have great advice. :D

What I will say is that pretty universally, writing consistently and staying focused are both like muscles in the body. I'm where I'm at today because I've had 9-10 years of practice doing this, and when you start out (which the above link addresses) you will need to aim more realistically and reasonably, and start there.

It's also worth having a really grounded sense of why you want to write more consistently / focus more on your writing. Is it for fun? Is it because you want to finish a project? Is that project something you'll feel good if you finish or are you over it? Is it because you want to make an income? (Have you considered there are approximately 40 billion easier ways to make an income?) Is it because you just want to see if you can do it?

Sitting down and thinking about your motivations here will help motivate you if you can keep your goals in mind. And it will also help clarify what you get out of writing in the first place.

Re: Staying focused. It depends on your distractions. I use music, that helps me. That might be terrible for you. I make sure I'm eating well - the brain needs carbs and fats, and my whole body needs protein and fibre - so I'll have a decent breakfast before starting out. Sleep is important. Drinking regularly is important. There's very basic things here which seem obvious that help a ton with concentration, but if you're not doing them, they're a good place to start. You'd be surprised how much just 'eating balanced meals, drinking regularly and sleeping enough hours' helps with concentration. Like, so much.

A friend of mine uses the Pomodoro method (that would drive me nuts), there's using write-ins like Twitch streams to basically 'body double' with other people who are writing at the same time (I find this very motivational). There's gamification like 4TheWords (love this site). There's 'I get to have a cookie if I write another 200 words.' There's 'actually I've lost focus because this part of the story might be broken and if I just do this the river will start to flow again' as a writing technique.

Mostly, you'll need the time and space to just amass the number of techniques you need to help with both focus and writing regularly. But in all of this, it's vital to be patient with yourself. You can't expect yourself to take a week to end up somewhere that someone else took 3 or 4 years to get to. And it won't be...consistent. Don't side-eye me or anything, but like, we're not meant to be machines, even people who write relatively consistently (like me) need breaks, get burnt out, get tired, are over it, and sometimes need brand new techniques to start working again. Knowing that it's not a linear upward curve of ever-increasing focus lets you also just...be compassionate and patient with yourself.

Oh yeah, because you'll have to get good at both of these too anon. :D Learning discipline and being firm with yourself can't work successfully if you also then mentally punish yourself for not doing it 'well enough' to the point where you don't want to do it anymore. Cultivating the 'I'll try again tomorrow' or 'I did great today!' parts of your brain help a ton with consistency. If you know you're going to be kind to yourself for doing well, and firm but compassionate with yourself when you don't, all of this gets way, way easier.

[mathlann]

1, 11, 28, 42, and B for Casimira? Sorry for sending so many, there's so much I want to know 👀

From this ask meme. Thank you! Ask and you shall receive lol.

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Answered here!

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

She's a seek clarification type of lady. Cas will not have herself looking stupid because she made an assumption she shouldn't have. With anything genuinely important she'll make sure both parties in the conversation agree on what is being asked and what she plans to do before she does it. The exception to this is Marazhai because he will maybe let her get one question in and still won't give a straight answer 80% of the time, so in that case if she still doesn't know by Dodge Answer #2 she just goes with it until she can read whatever cue he's giving. It never ends up being that much of a problem but also he's generally not in charge of stuff like "trade routes" and "making sure the colonies don't implode" so his exception is allowable.

28. Would they prefer a lie over an unpleasant truth? 

She prefers the unpleasant truth. A lie has a high chance of making fools out of everyone involved but an unpleasant truth can at least be worked around and come to something better. Duly note that she is a bit of a hypocrite on this, because she herself is okay with lying if she thinks there's no consequences to it, like telling Heinrix she didn't know anything about the sword shards. And when the need comes for her to approach a difficult topic she will internally grind her teeth and drag her feet to avoid the conversation until something forces her hand.

42. How badly do they want to reach their end goal? 

Her end goal here being: "make the Protectorate less chaotic and get the dynasty under the control," greatly. Cas has never had a great opinion of off-worlders in general and Imperium nobility in particular and so frankly everything that happened after her arrival on Theodora's flagship was a reinforcement of all her biases. Between Theodora's neglect and Calcazar's scheming, Cas hasn't had a peaceful night since she left Iocanthos because there's just so much she needs to do, fix one problem and five more spring up. But if she can actually get things back into some kind of working order her way that will make all the difference (and stick it to a political entity that she very much dislikes, so a mighty bonus).

B. What inspired you to create them?

Oh that's a long and convoluted answer. In short I'd say she's an amalgamation of a lot of character concepts that I've played with off an on since I got the original Rogue Trader TTRPG book a decade or so ago. The CRPG is quite different from any of the FFG 40k games but Casimira being A) high Fellowship, B) Xenos-friendly, and C) probably from Iocanthos (a favorite from Dark Heresy) were going to be givens for me. I'm always looking to play high charisma PCs in general and I also really like having characters that are from the outskirts of Imperium society in some way. Also just for the general concept I'd just finished Catherynne M. Valente's Palimpsest, and I'll say the Casimira in that book is very much her vibe (alone and in parts of her romance w Marazhai) in ways I didn't know when I first grabbed the name off of her.

The rest under the cut because it's long 😅

Mechanically, since Psyker (my usual preference) wasn't fully implemented in EA, the original Cas in EA/first half-playthrough was a Death World/Commissar/Operative (conceptually similar to how I see her older sister actually). That Casimira was more genuinely "good person" Iconoclastic, which didn't quite fit what I was going for but also I didn't really know how the Iconoclast/Heretic split was going to go at the time. This Cas was practical, had some Dogmatic moments, and generally was approaching her role as Rogue Trader by trying to be a decent person/"benevolent noble" more often than not.

Then Yremeryss kicked my ass back to Act 1 and Cas was remade as a Hiver/Noble/Officer, both for the Fellowship bonuses and because at that point I'd decided Marazhai was the one for her and frankly "You. Serve Me." being the Noble's key ability was, uh, fitting for their dynamic. That Cas was going to be from Scintilla, and I made her a bit more spoiled, callous, and scheme-y, very into crime and other light heresies because she's very sure of her power as Rogue Trader and the right to do what she wants.

The current Xenoheretical, actively Anti-Imperium, Chaos dabbler Casimira emerged partway through that playthrough. She became Iocanthan again, an envoy this time, and Hiver still fit with the nomadic background. She got some of her old altruism back but it was more out of pragmatism than genuine feeling and could be overridden if she felt wronged or that her immediate want had a greater benefit. Also her being nominally a Noble but unable to meet the proper expectations of how she should act (according to Imperium standards) became a bigger part of her arc, one that ended up resulting in the Great Heinrix Divorce Arc and her darker turn with Marazhai in the second half of the game. And with all that, the Casimira I have today!

(Honorable mention vibe-wise, Bizet's Carmen, and specifically this performance of "Ramparts of Seville" conceptually influenced quite a bit of how I see her and Heinrix in that they definitely fit the "uptight man married to his job meets a mezzo soprano and they are not compatible and won't end up together but boy will they wreck his fucking life with the time they've got" genre 🤫)

[custardcove]

First Memories

Chapter Six - Fierce Competition

It seemed like no time at all before the first intermission. In order for either of them to make a decent pie, the crust had to rest in the fridge for at least forty minutes, and in Alice’s case so did her apples. Pansy wasn’t really allowed to enquire about how Alice was doing, and so gave her two thumbs up before chatting with the other judges. Taylor couldn’t talk either, he was busy entertaining the crowd, and had invited a one-man-band elf onstage to play music during the wait. Queenie, however, was well within her right to interrogate Alice about her progress.

“I’m impressed you managed to form a substantial dough. Cooking doesn’t seem like your forte.”

Alice sighed quietly at the backhanded compliment. “I didn’t think it was your forte either.”

“On the contrary, I have quite a bit of practice in the kitchen.”

A memory hit Alice like a brick. Queenie didn’t trust anyone with food. Of course she had experience, she didn’t let anyone else cook for her!

“Well—making a pie isn’t rocket science, anyway. I can read and follow a recipe well enough.”

“Can you? What comes next is the hard part. You can’t read experience or presentation.”

It wasn’t worth gratifying her intimidation with further argument. The truth made it hurt, and Alice didn’t need to be cut deeper. “Good luck, Queenie. Thanks for the extra salt, by the way.”

The noble just tittered.

Thirty minutes later, it was time to form the dough into a crust and brush it with egg. Queenie hadn’t made that jab for no reason—it was important to try and make it look nice. In an attempt to do this, Alice went over the edges of her pie with a fork, and she cut out strips of dough to form a crosshatch pattern later. Would the apples be ready yet? It hadn’t been as long as the recipe suggested, but Alice had done her best to chop them into small (somewhat rounded) cubes, having hoped this would help them marinate faster. Taking her chances, she removed them from the fridge and tumbled them into her pie casing, flattening them the best she could before adding the strips of pastry. Getting the whole thing into the oven was a relief, but that meant another forty-minute wait…

Before she could react, Taylor approached her with his microphone.

“And how do you feel about your progress, dear contestant?”

“Um.” Points off for Tay, Alice would have never felt prepared for this. “Fine—it’s fine. I’ll wait to see what the judges think.”

“Humble words!” He spun around. “And how does our other contestant feel about her chances?”

Polar opposite, Queenie leant over for the mic. “It’s no contest. But I believe Alice is right—we certainly will see what the judges think.”

“What a bold claim! Our second contestant thinks she’s got this in the bag. But only time will tell. In the meantime, I’ve got another act for all you lovely folks out there—”

Time to watch another half-baked performance while they waited for the pies to cook. Still, Alice thought it was better to listen than suffer any further hot steam from her opponent…

***

Ding! Alice’s personal timer was done. She hurried over to the oven. Was it cooked all the way through? The pastry was a golden colour; maybe it could use a few more minutes—but Queenie was already taking hers out! The human debated what to do. Did a few minutes make that much difference? Maybe. But what if—

“Five minutes left!”

In a panic, she opted to remove the pie. It needed those five minutes to cool down.

“Fiiiiiive minutes…!”

“We’re both done, you ignorant fop.” It seemed Queenie was as eager for this to end as Alice was.

“Oh. Well, in that case…” Taylor adjusted his tie with his free hand, washing away the insult with a deep breath. “Both contestants have completed their challenge, and judging will commence shortly. You don’t want to miss that, folks!”

He was right—the crowd, which had thus far been filled with people more interested in milling between stalls, had finally come to attention. This was the part worth watching.

Taylor had introduced the judges earlier, having them speak at occasional intervals, but only now did Alice pay attention to Queenie’s pick.

Half-animan, she had neat, short black hair, cat ears, and a perpetually unimpressed gaze. Taylor had introduced her as Naomi; for once someone Alice couldn't identify. She wondered if Naomi had a discerning palette, or if Queenie was using her as an ace up her sleeve.

The pies were labelled ‘A’ and ‘B’, which each judge receiving a slice of each. Alice’s was Pie B – she stood by with Queenie as they awaited the verdict. Pie A was judged first.

“It’s got a nice leaf design on it,” Pansy observed. Queenie had indeed taken the time to decorate with little pastry leaves. “Hopefully tastes as good as it looks.”

“It’s super nice, visually,” Tech agreed. There was a beat as Naomi waited for him to say something more descriptive. He didn’t.

“An elegant design,” she started. “Care was taken to give each leaf a vein, presumably with a fork. The arrangement of the leaves overall is in a consistent pattern, while still appearing natural. But looks aren’t everything.”

Queenie glowered at her for this last remark, to which the cat lady added, “Anyway, let’s try it.”

Taylor held the mic away as they ate, taking a moment to give Alice a reassuring (and perhaps apologetic) smile.

After a few mouthfuls, Pansy seemed surprised. “This—it’s pretty good.”

“Yeah, really cinnamony,” Tech hummed. “Not too sweet.”

“A delicate balance between sweet and tart; flavourful but not forceful. The cinnamon and hint of ginger brings it together.” Naomi nodded, agreeing. “This recipe refines the meaning of ‘apple pie’.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Pansy said carefully. “But it’s tasty.”

They all took a swig of water before taking on Pie B. As she watched, Alice realised she’d been clenching her teeth.

“The crosshatch pattern is cute,” Tech observed, which Pansy readily agreed with.

“Shows it’s cooked well inside.”

Naomi poked it with her fork. “Yes, very traditional. The kind of homeliness you’d expect from an apple pie. Care was taken here, though some lines are slightly askew.”

They began to taste it.

“Tough choice,” Pansy claimed, though the recognition of Alice’s cooking was all too readable on her face. “They’re both real good, but this one—it’s more classic.”

“I feel like … this one’s a bit sweeter.” Tech took another spoonful. “For sure. It’s good—the other one had something extra in it, though. Was that the ginger?”

“I like sweet,” Naomi mused. “Good apples, well cooked… As Miss Pansy noted, it leans into the traditional idea of an apple pie.”

Did that mean it was good or bad? It was hard to tell. Alice hadn’t even considered using anything other than the spices listed in the recipe…

With the tasting done, Taylor prompted them further. “Are the judges ready to make their decision?”

“Yes,” all three said in unison.

“Alright! There should be two cards in front of you—A and B. Please show us whichever one you think should win!”

Pansy raised her card first. B, of course. Naomi was quicker on the draw than Tech. A, also expected. Tech, the only real impartial judge, would be the tiebreaker. He raised his card. Pie A. The winner. Alice had lost.

“And the winner—” Taylor’s words momentarily caught in his throat. He pushed on. “Is Queenie.”

The crowd clapped politely as Queenie took a short bow, stragglers starting to disperse now that the event was over. Alice couldn’t move. There was a tightness in her chest and neck, creeping up to her eyes. Queenie turned to her, ready to gloat.

“Terribly sorry, Webbe… It looks like I’ll be keeping this locket.” From the folds of her clothing, she produced her prize. It twinkled in the sunlight, tantalizing, taunting. “Such a beautiful colour, too…”

Before she could further salt the wound, the necklace erupted in light. Queenie yelped, losing grip in her momentary blindness. As the light emerged, it formed the shape of a small bird and snatched the jewellery from her loosened fingers. It landed on one of the countertops, brightness fading to reveal a little yellow duck, which dropped the necklace at its feet. The duck spoke in a voice that was no louder than anyone else’s, but everyone could hear his words clearly.  “This is not yours to keep.”

The crowd gasped, filtering back in to nosey at this development.

Alice’s face shone with recognition. “Ivan!” Her friend—the one that had given her the locket in the first place. How could she have forgotten him?

“But—” Queenie looked quite affronted by this sudden nonsense. “I won it. It’s rightfully mine, and Alice agreed to it.”

“I heard your terms, but it was never yours to wager,” the duck sapped back. “This necklace belongs to Alice. And what good will it do you, keeping it locked in a drawer? Had I any access to sunlight, I would’ve escaped from it sooner, and rightly reprimanded you!”

“Buh—well—I didn’t know you were inside there.” Queenie raised her head high, briefly glancing at the onlookers. She folded her arms tight. “Am I to understand you’re robbing me of my hard-won victory?”

“Oh no. You still won. Congratulations.” Ivan’s praise couldn’t be emptier. “Your prize is the satisfaction of winning. Next time, get your deals in writing. I think we’re done here.”

Queenie opened her mouth as if to argue, debating whether it was worth further public humiliation.

Pansy spoke up instead. “He’s right, Queenie—I think we can all agree you tried to pull one over, here.”

It was hard to say whether the other judges agreed. Tech looked a little bewildered as he scooped up what was left of the pies, and Naomi was sinking as far into her seat as she could go. But Taylor nodded. Despite this, he tried to save the performance.

“That concludes our cooking competition, folks! If you liked what you saw, be sure to pitch in for another at Erryton’s monthly community meeting!”

---

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[222hopelessromantic444]

I hope this night never ends pt.1

Rodrick x y/n fluff

_________________

I swear- get some headphones and listen to the song extasy by 187 strassenbande- while listening to this song this idea plopped into my mind, I usually don't listen to that typa music but it's somehow a banger?

(btw in this fic y/n is german- just cuz this song is german, so it's actually not that important for the plot, but I still really wanted to include this specific song hehe)

______________________

It all started with an invitation to a party from one of your classmates. Being the 'new girl' at Crossland High School wasn't easy at all. But luckily, you had made friends over the past month and were more than glad to finally be able to sit with people during the lunch break, rather than sitting all alone.

So, when the invitation made its way into your hands, you were more or less excited to go. Even if the party sucks, what do you have to lose? You haven't even built a school reputation yet and could just leave at any given moment if you felt uncomfortable. A win-win situation.

Even your parents were comfortable letting you go and "make new friends." Furthermore, they even encouraged it by driving you there. Not sure if your dad's old Nissan approaching the Heffley's mansion was a good thing, you went through your small purse one last time before waving goodbye to your dad and making your way up to the porch.

The loud music could easily be heard from two blocks away, and the heavy smell of weed and liquor didn't surprise you. Entering the house, you were greeted by dozens of teenagers dancing, making out, drinking, or secretly throwing up in one of the few plant vases in the living room.

"Heyyy y/n, we're over here, babe," Brittany, one of your few new friends, waved at you. She clearly wasn't sober anymore, according to the four red cups decently stacked in her right hand.

Making your way through the sea of teenagers, your heart skipped a beat as you accidentally tripped over God knows what and started falling face first to the ground. Luckily, just before you hit the ground, two strong arms pulled you back up to your feet. You were met with two brown eyes carefully eyeing you up and down.

"You're the new girl, right?" the stranger asked you, now locking eyes with you. "Yeah," was all you could manage to say, still in shock. "Well, I'm Rodrick, Rodrick Heffley. I guess I've seen you in the hallways a couple of times. And how's the hellhole of a school?" he questioned. He genuinely seemed interested in you, as you had seen him walk past you in school a couple of times, his eyes never leaving you.

"It's alright, I guess. I've seen worse, and besides, I'm already kinda getting used to it."

"Good to hear- y/n, right? Did you know I'm part of a band? You could come see us play sometime." The amount of confidence within his randomness and his smug smirk made you giggle. You already knew he must be in some kind of band or gang since he was practically only wearing his 'loaded diaper' tee, and his van was hard to overlook.

"Sure thing, Rodrick," you smirked back, playing it cool. Even though he was pretty handsome and his eyeliner really spoke to you, you wouldn't let him win you over that easily. "Sorry, but I think I've gotta go now. My friends are waiting. See you around." Without waiting for an answer, you stormed over to Brittany, now with her fifth cup of liquor in hand.

After she handed you her half-empty cup, she greeted you with a 'don't tell me you've fallen for the weird kid' look. Not giving you a second glance, she made her way to one of the empty rooms with some random guy, leaving you alone again.

She was really a loyal friend you could count on at all times. (Hope you get the joke.) Not even ten seconds later, the tall boy with the messed-up hair from earlier reappeared and smoothly placed himself next to you...

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

Sorry for being weird in your askbox but do you have any tips on how to write erotic fanfiction if you're a virgin ,

Kind regards

Not a weird question at all! Personal experience isn’t that important since you’re only writing it, don’t worry.

Main things are the following:

Read a lot of porn for stylistic reference, and check out websites like Scarlateen to know how it ACTUALLY works. (yes that means you’ll have to at least look at diagrams at some point.)

Why? Well. A minimum of sex ed is pretty important to write smut that won’t make your readers cringe in pain/weirded out, and you want to know what body parts are called or how they interact with one another. Sex in particular is extremely romanticized and exaggerated in media, so you’ll want to have a solid reference of the truth before you start writing your own exaggerations, else you’ll end up with whatever the hell is happening on pixiv on a daily basis.

(Do not trust porn or hentai for facts, they tend to have a half-decent grasp on dicks but absolutely do not know how anything else works, especially hentai. The amount of times I’ve caught a glimpse of breasts being treated like they cum milk… my guess is that it’s mostly cis guy making that and they’re making very wrong assumptions.)

It’s just like everything else in writing, you can break rules and write something unrealistic or unusual if you want, but to do good work you have to already know the usual way things go. Know the rules before you break them!!! Educate yourself!!!!!

Additionally you’ll want to learn about concepts like consent, kink, and protection, not just anatomy. Same reason, know how the rules work before you try to bend or break them. Else you’ll probably let unconscious bias drive your writing and you’ll get swamped by unfortunate implications. (Talking from personal experience with my first fic lmao, it wasn’t literal smut but by god was it creepy how clueless I was. Or 50 shades of Gray that’s apparently a horrid misrepresentation of what BDSM culture is actually like.)

As for how to write a sex scene, it’s very similar to a fight scene. It’s a lot about the gestures but without a minimum of thought, feelings or descriptions it just sounds like an ikea building manual, so watch out. Mind your rhythm as well.

Final advice, make sure you acknowledge the agency of your characters!

Sex isn’t something that should just be happening to someone, all participants should be doing something, even if it’s grumbling that they can’t do anything coz they’re tied up. Thoughts and feelings and sensations, every participant should be having them, even if it’s not explicit. Hell, even if they’re asleep, there should be some reaction of some kind, or a specific remark about a lack of reaction, just make sure that area is covered so you’re not straight up ignoring their agency exists.

Otherwise you end up with a sex toy instead of a character.

(Which, mind you, can be a kink in itself and that’s totally fine, but that would be a “break the rule only once you know it exists” case. No kinkshaming here.)

You don’t have to, but I would start off slow with a short and sweet scene if you’re feeling awkward about your first erotica. Keep it simple. Or you can go crazy and add tentacles or aliens, really, it’s up to you, it’s just that writing something simple is probably gonna be easier. I did start on the tentacle stuff though so really you can just do whatever you want.

Ease yourself into it, practice, don’t be shy! Sex is a very natural (not obligatory! just natural!) part of life and nothing to be ashamed of, be it irl or in writing.

Oh and make sure you don’t sear anyone’s eyeballs, warn for your content appropriately when you share your work! Be a good neighbor when sharing a public space.

[yoursome1-rbwebb]

Caught In Haze

Previous | Next Chapter 24

The first week of preseason went by slower than I would have liked it to.

Sitting on the sideline having to watch the whole team do the one thing I care about doing was excruciating.

Every morning I reported to the head trainer, Bill, eager to convince him that I was really okay. 

Sure, the bruising looked bad and it was still very sore, but I have honestly played through worse.

Bill was having none of it. He’d roll his eyes at me and end his argument with lightly patting my side to see if I reacted with pain. I hadn’t managed to keep my face still until Friday morning and even then, it took a lot of effort to do so.

He rewarded me (even though I knew he knew that it still hurt) by allowing me to join the team for a gym session but I had to follow some restrictions. 

I took what I could get and joined my team who welcomed me into the gym with open arms. Though, a half hour into the work out I almost wish I would’ve just made a face at Bill this morning. 

Lily and Karly hovered the whole time, not letting me lift heavier than the trainers told me to and shoving water in my face every twenty seconds. 

Lily even went full mom mode when I tried to sneak a few extra pounds on the bar and scolded me on the importance of rest and recovery while Karly nodded along behind her.

Other than my slight annoyance of people trying to take care of me though, It was nice to be back around the team.

The isolation this week has been extra hard because of the new environment and with the added bonus of not having Casey in my face all day every day; my boredom levels are at an all time high. 

Karly did her best Casey impression and was in my room after practices and meals most days but she could do nothing about me being stuck alone on the sidelines. 

The only good thing that came from preseasons isolation was the ability to watch my competition at work. 

Rachel is decent with the ball at her feet. I can give her that. She can dribble and she keeps up with the rest of the team when it comes to fitness. But her ability to read the field and her work off the ball are her greatest weakness.

There were at least thirteen times where she stopped forward progress in training drills by being out of position.

Not that I was counting.

But where Rachel failed, the golden eyed reprobate flourished. 

I knew Riley was good from her reputation alone. She has been in US youth camps since I can remember following them. And the one day I did get to play with her this preseason she was incredible. 

But there was something different about being able to solely focus on her play without worrying about myself too.

It's like her body knows where it needs to be at all times, all on its own. She doesn’t even look like she is trying when she sends a defender to their ass (which has happened more times than said defenders are willing to admit). 

Her footwork and control surpass my own abilities by miles. The ball just seems to stick to her feet until she decides she doesn’t want it to anymore. 

Losing to Riley in anything is not something I like to do. So my craving to get back onto the field only amplified everytime she did some trick or move that I knew I couldn’t. Yet.

Maybe I can convince Bill on Monday to let me back into full training sessions.

“Ladies! Good work this week!” Coach Ty said as the last gym session for the week came to a close.

The sweaty huddle of women quieted down and turned their attention towards the front where the coaching team and our captain, Paisley stood together.

“Have a good weekend off! Don’t cause any trouble and take care of each other!” Coach Yardley said, waving at us then walked out of the room with Ty on her heels.

“Ladies! The seniors with a freshie are required to take them out and show them around campus. You know the drill.” Paisley called from the front of the room before following after the coaches out of the room.

I almost forgot I had a ‘Mentor’. I’ve achieved my goal of avoiding her all week with only the occasional obscene comment from her in passing.

The team began to filter out of the gym and follow Paisley out when someone cleared their throat behind me, drawing my attention.

A sweaty Riley with a stupid smirk on her face was the culprit.

“So will you go out with me tomorrow?” She questioned with a devious look in her eyes.

I rolled my eyes and turned to follow the crowd out of the gym. Unfortunately Riley joined me in stride.

“I will allow you to show me around campus.” I said with my nose upturned, unwilling to give Riley the satisfaction of having my attention like I knew she wanted.

Riley chuckled beside me “Great, I’ll pick you up at noon.” She said happily then we continued together in silence behind the rest of the team.

The longer we walked the harder not looking at her got. I wanted to see if me not looking at her was bothering her as much as her presence was bothering me. But I kept my eyes forward knowing the moment I caved, she’d win.

“How are your ribs?”

The muscles in my neck keeping my head from looking at her lost all of their resolve and my eyes snapped to the black haired girl.

I wasn’t expecting her to care at all about my injury let alone remember it.

“Uh- fine.” I answered, looking forward, hiding my sudden onset of nerves. My body has never known how to react when someone shows even an inkling of worry for me. I have mostly just taken care of myself so it’s very foreign.

“Well the wincing on your face during your bench press says otherwise.” She remarked nonchalantly then moved ahead of me to hold the door to Allen Hall.

Was she watching me workout?

I felt disoriented for a moment at this new information and gave her a weird look as I passed her into the dorm. Unfortunately she was undeterred and quickly fell back into step with me.

“Why were you creeping on me while I worked out?” I asked defensively.

Was she actually being creepy or was she just being another mother hen, making sure I didn’t overdo it. The first option is more likely when it comes to Riley Haze but if it is the second one; I don’t need another person in my business telling me what I can and can’t handle today.

“Why were you watching me in training all week?” She shrugged in response.

I froze in my tracks completely flabbergasted. She made it another two steps before stopping and facing me with an amused look on her face.

I can’t lie and say my eyes weren’t somewhat attracted to Riley this week. Not for a sexual or romantic reason of course. 

She is good at soccer. That’s the only reason. 

I think.

“I-I was…” I started, not really knowing where to go from here. 

If I tell her she is good she will get all cocky and I just can’t bring myself to compliment her to her face. If I continue to ramble she will think it’s because I am attracted to her, which I am not.

Riley’s grin turned devious as the poignant pause continued. She boldly took a step forward leaving only a few inches between us.

“You were what Lee?” She said just above a whisper, quirking her eyebrow up challengingly.

I have so many thoughts running now through my head and not a single one was on how to answer her question.

My mind was suddenly littered with thoughts of her. Of the way her golden eyes bore into mine. Thoughts of the few loose strands of hair stuck to the sweat on her tanned neck and the way her jaw line looked immaculate under this light… 

No, I wasn’t going to be able to respond for at least a few minutes.

And Riley knew it.

She shuffled forward again, closing the gap ever so slightly before challenging me again.

“Did you like what you saw?” She asked.

I’d be lying to myself if I said I didn’t. At the end of the day, Riley is beautiful.

But I’m not gay. For fucks sake, I’m seeing her brother. I need to get out of here.

I brushed past her without answering, knowing any answer I gave her would only throw gas on this newly kindled fire. My best course of action is to pretend that this interaction never happened. Much like I do with most of our interactions.

Riley snickered as I walked by her knowing she had got to me then quickly followed me into the stairwell not wanting to miss a moment of me making a fool of myself.

“Oh come on Lee.” She laughed and started jogging to catch up to me.

“It was a joke.” She grinned as she joined me on the first floor landing. She tried to get my attention by pulling gently on my left arm. 

Anger coursed through me at her words. I whipped around and glared at her ready to put up a fight again.

I am truly sick and tired of being a joke to Riley Haze.

I will not be another punch line. This time she gets to be one.

I let my face relax and took a step forward into her space, much like she had done to me earlier. It had the desired effect of wiping that smugness right off her face.

Her mouth and eyes widened just enough to let me know I currently had the upper hand. 

“You want to know what’s really funny Riley?” I said in the most inviting tone I could muster.

Riley either couldn’t or didn’t know how to respond so she stood still, surveying me like I was a tiger that could pounce at any moment. 

I have her in the palm of my hand and knowing that sent a giddy feeling down my spine.

I have her just where I want her now so I leaned into her ear, causing her breathing to hitch in her throat and another jolt of pleasure to sear my body. 

This newfound power I have over Riley is something I will definitely have to use carefully. It could become incredibly addicting if I don’t.

“What’s funny is: I know you liked what you saw in the gym today.” I husked into her ear. 

I watched as goosebumps popped up on her neck where my breath met her sweaty skin causing a smug grin to form on my face. Knowing she was reacting to me like this made me feel an energy I’ve never felt before.

“Second place must suck when your brother got here first.” I murmured then pulled away from her abruptly, pushing past her up the stairs, leaving her in shock on the first floor.

I didn’t dare look back though. I know if I did, what I saw might only cause that incredibly addicting feeling of power to wreak more havoc inside me. 

I walked as quickly as I could to the fourth floor trying to put as much distance between me and the tension as I could. As my hands reached for the door to my floor, a hand from behind me shoved the door closed, halting me in my tracks once again. I whipped around and came face to face with a determined Riley. 

Her face was only inches from mine as she leaned over me with her hand still on the door and an almost angry look on her face. 

She looks so…

Fuck I can admit it, she looks fucking hot.

And that is a big problem.

I leaned back into the door just to create a little bit more space between us but all it created was a centimeter at best.

If it was physically possible to melt into a puddle onto the floor, that’s where I'd be at this very moment as Riley’s irate eyes pierced my own.

“Actually Charlie.” She snarled, letting her free hand latch onto my left hip, holding me in place. “I distinctly remember getting here first.”

Oh my god. If I could speak, I wouldn’t even have an argument that would hold any weight against her statement. She did in fact ‘get here first’ technically. I couldn’t change that. I just didn’t think she’d bring it up.

Then astonishing me even further, she leaned into me towards my neck and for a moment I thought her lips were actually going to meet my skin there.

“I also distinctly remember you liking it.” 

Her breath washed over my body making me feel warm and light and… inexcusably turned on.

Before I could even think about reacting, she let out a loud frustrated growl and the hand holding the door slammed against it. The action caused a loud bang that made me jump, pulling me out of whatever half-conscious state she put me into.

She removed her hand from my hip then without so much as a glance at me, jogged back down the stairs and out of sight.

I stayed leaning against the fourth floor door long after her footsteps faded from the stairwell.

Fully processing what just happened is something I don’t think I will ever achieve.

A wide range of emotions stormed through me starting with arousal and ended with regret.

I don’t even know if either of us won whatever battle we just fought in.

Previous | Next

[electricbluebutterflies]

JessLeto + is it too soon to do this?

Vague nsfw of a first-postpartum-Encounter variety. Also on ao3.

There is a part of her, sometimes, that worries she is not enough.

Jessica is tired, so tired in the months after, her body compromised and her lover-

It has been half a year since he last put his hands on her in any way that meant something. She wonders, in the depths of her heart, if it will ever happen again.

She has slept alone since a week after the birth of their son, and that first week could be blamed on mutual worry but after that-

They cross paths daily, but she barely gets fingertips on her skin, she hasn’t even been held in-

If she had been betrayed as a woman, she would know. Even in her current state, she would know.

Her partner adores her; her partner is mildly, respectfully frightened by her. Their balance had almost gotten good and then she went and functionally destroyed it by-

Four months of recovery, Jessica decides, is an adequate waiting period before deciding to fix her domestic life.

She walks down the hallway in the quiet of night and she is haunted by a similar night just over a year ago, another moment that changed the structure of her life forever. She’d still tried back then, pretty nightgown, a level of effort she’d thought was appropriate for her position, like-

She certainly isn’t trying now. She’s used her abilities to make sure their son sleeps through the night so that she can, and she knows that’s dangerous precedent so early but there is truly no harm in it, but that still hasn’t-

She was pretty before this, she remembers, and she’d almost thought that was all she was good for, and-

Four years in this place that has become home to her and her hand still almost shakes as she knocks on her partner’s door. She has not sought him out; he has slipped into her spaces in daylight, daily, and she has not needed to-

“Is everything-“

She kisses him, because she hasn’t managed to do that in four damn months and she misses the taste of him, scruff where she is soft, and she misses him, and she-

“Are you-“

“I could have six weeks ago,” she breathes. Timelines for recovery are so vague and fluid, but she hasn’t actively hurt in weeks, and it was all supposedly easy, and-

Her son will be an only child, she was sure of it beforehand and even more so now. She regrets nothing, but the idea of doing all of that again is-

“Is it too soon?” her partner asks, tethering her with his hands on her shoulders, oh how she loves him, this caution when it matters, sometimes too much but-

“All I’ve done is kiss you,” she murmurs, almost a laugh. “That’s hardly-“

“But you want more. I do know that look in your eyes.”

“I do. And I do not need any more gentleness than you have always given me.”

He kisses her, hands wandering into her loose hair, holding her close and she has missed-

“I was unsure what you would allow,” he breathes against her skin.

“You know my boundaries have never been-“

“Exactly my point, my storm.”

He has been decent to her, she thinks as they move back into the bedroom that was almost hers before her body was compromised; he has been more than decent, committed from their first encounter to treating her well and still-

She wants to cry, and she bites her lip as her fingertips clutch the hem of his shirt, and-

“If you are-“

“Am I still enough, like this?”

She had been taught, once, that a man who has seen her weakness would not voluntarily lie with her. This one… closest she’s ever come to controlling him was when his worry turned into something she could practically feel, and if he’d been just a little less cooperative about doing that in the hallway outside instead…

She is loved. She knows, most important thing in the known universe, that she is loved. Whether she is desired is another matter.

“Did I-“

“It has been four months since you’ve asked for me. Six since I’ve said yes. I do trust that you have not betrayed me, but-“

“Why would you ever think-“

If there has been one pleasant thing about their distance during her recovery, it is that they can’t spar if they barely speak. She is in no mood to ruin this streak, and instead of words it seems easier to just pull her nightgown over her head and present her body as it is, almost but not quite what it was before, new places she carries tension and her breasts are never quite going to be the same and-

“What imperfection am I supposed to be looking for?”

No mood for a fight, Jessica reminds herself over and over again, no mood for-

“I have-“

“May I touch you?”

She nods, stands still as he circles her. They have done this before; they did this the first time they were alone together, and she was a similar level of scared then but for wildly different reasons, and-

Her partner’s fingertips are as light on her skin as ever, curious and innocent, the smallest smile on his lips as he touches everywhere he’s ever liked to and-

“You are as you have been,” he murmurs.

“Not even close. Not-”

“If you would stop me-“

She twirls and takes a kiss, deep desperate almost brutal. She wants this, guides his hand between her thighs so he can feel that she is normal enough, and when it is inevitably different-

“I have missed you too.”

This is how she feels warm, she thinks as they begin to move together in patterns that still feel right, like constant embers somewhere safe and hidden inside her, like-

Six months is, she will admit, a frightfully long time between encounters, and they are not doing again, and-

It is more cautious than she had become used to, and better for it, and her body remembers the feel of his, and she has done both better and worse than this, and-

The longing is clear enough in his face above hers, how much he missed the presence of her, how he worries even now. Desire above all else, but never just that, that is not who he is and he is a better man for that restraint and-

She is not sure who collapses first and even less sure she cares.

After, she hides her body in sheets and lets her partner play with her hair like she almost never tolerates, and-

“Will you stay, my love?”

“Will you have me?”

“Your side of our bed has become too cold, but-“

She kisses the side of his face, the line of his jaw, whatever she can turn her head to reach.

“And you are very warm by comparison…”

“Says the woman whose body seems to carry an entire ice planet worth of cold even after-“

“As I said. By comparison.”

They will not become what they were, she thinks as she shifts her body closer. If all goes well, they will become something better instead.

[187days]

Day One Hundred Twenty-Six

So, if you've been reading my entries, then you know my ninth graders are reading books about various current/recent events, and that I keep saying that pretty much everything in current/recent history can be traced back to four things: colonialism, the World Wars, and/or the Cold War. So today, since I had full block classes for half of my Global Studies students, I had them read about the history of the country in which their book is set in order to prove my point. They each got a one-page article to read, and they had to highlight references to any of those aforementioned four things, and answer a set of questions.

Does that mean I spent a lot of my prep time putting together articles for over two dozen books? Yup!

The Principal, who decided to come observe my first section, was impressed with the work I'd done, which was good. I think he was bemused by my students' behavior because that particular section has the boys who shout out stuff like "skibidi toilet" and "Ohio" at random. I've taken to replying with stuff like "fabulous dishwasher" and "Nevada," which mostly gets them to stop. And, y'know, I think it all went well. I had to help a few students who didn't follow the instructions (despite me reading them, writing them down, etc... that sometimes happens), and encourage a few who insisted they couldn't find answers, but everyone wound up doing decent work and a lot of them shared what they learned when asked. It did go better in the other section- no issues with the instructions, a lot more on task- but it's all good.

In APGOV, we chatted about environmental and energy policymaking (because I'd had them read about that for homework), then did a bit of AMA-style test review, and a bit of practice on AP Classroom because they have a test tomorrow. So that was a solid class, too. And even though I obviously put a lot of work into planning the lessons for both courses, the actual teaching felt pretty effortless, which is how it should feel.

I was happy about it.

And, despite the fact that it was windy and cold, I was happy about track practice, too. The sprinters did 300m repeats, then headed inside to do some flexibility and mobility drills with the low hurdles. It's a really awesome crew, and they worked hard today. Can't ask for more!

I had to hop on Zoom right after practice for the tail end of a union board meeting. I didn't have a ton to contribute, but it's still important to be there. Meeting all of my professional obligations can be a real balancing act during track season, and now I've got the added demands on my time that come with being a department head, too. But I've done it before, I'll figure out how to do it again!

[mymoodwriting]

Request for Anon (Professor!Jaehyun) 1.7k, drugs, non-con, dub-con, fingering, penetration, unprotected sex

“Is everything okay, y/n?”

    You swallowed nervously as you stood before your professor. When he asked you to stay after class a million things ran through your mind. Everything you could get scolded over, everything you had done that could be taken the wrong way. You were so nervous, and as the room cleared out you got more anxious. At this point you were visibly shaking, and he had noticed.

“Fine… I’m fine…”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes… what did you want to see me about?”

“Ah, well, I’ve noticed that you’re being rather quiet in class. Now I do count participation towards your grade, and you haven’t had any marks so far. It could hurt you in the long run.”

“It’s 10 percent, without that I can still pass with a B plus, not including extra credit.”

“I see you have this all figured out, but it’s not good for you to think like that. It’s important to engage with your peers and the topics covered in class.”

“I’ll still pass either way…”

The Professor sighed. “Come see me at my office hours later so we can continue this and find a solution.”

“That’s just pointless…”

“Excuse me?”

“Nothing.”

    You hated when your mouth would run off on its own, another reason you didn’t like participating in class. After spewing out something like that you reached a new level of anxiousness. Without thinking you bolted for the door, already feeling embarrassed although you stopped when your name was called.

“Y/n.”

“…”

“Office hours.”

“… yes professor…”

❤

    You had never been called to one of your professors’ offices before. You went when you needed help with something or had a question, otherwise you’d avoid that type of interaction all together. Now you stood outside one of their offices and were nervous as hell to knock. Still you were expected so this shouldn’t be intrusive. You swallowed the lump in your throat and knocked, hoping that by some miracle he wasn’t in right now so you could leave. Instead you forced a decent smile as the door opened.

“Y/n, you made it. I was worried you’d ditch me.”

“We agreed to meet…”

“Yes, yes, come in.”

    He stepped aside to let you in, telling you to get comfortable. That was practically impossible for you, but you did take a seat before his desk, trying not to seem too anxious.

“Water?” He unscrewed the lid and handed it to you. “To help you freshen up.”

“Thank you…”

    Now you felt obligated to have some, although you probably did need it. Your mouth was getting rather dry. You downed about half before taking a deep breath. There was something you needed to say first.

“Professor.”

“Hm?”

“I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t-”

“I wasn’t offended by your words. If anything I was intrigued.”

“What?”

“You clearly have a lot on your mind and something to say. So I don’t understand why you don’t participate. I thought you were quiet because of the initial awkwardness in any class, but I’ve heard from your other professors that you are very quiet.”

“I don’t wanna talk…”

“Why not?”

“Cause I don’t.” You stated. “That’s good enough. Like I said before this is pointless, so I’m gonna-”

    As soon as you stood up you felt dizzy, collapsing back down into your seat. You grabbed your head, trying to figure out what was happening. In your daze you hadn’t noticed the professor get up and come to your side. He knelt down, checking your temperature.

“Are you feeling sick?”

“Professor…”

“You can just call me Jaehyun when we’re alone.”

“I… I…”

“Sh, just relax. You accelerated the process by standing up, but you’ll be alright.”

“What…”

“You’re always so tense and nervous so I provided a little something to call you down. Nothing harmful I swear.”

“You… you…”

    He began caressing your cheek, his other hand rubbing up and down your thigh. At this point you could barely register much, and he was fading in and out of focus in your vision.

“It’s cruel to deny me the chance to hear your sweet voice. Or perhaps you’re saving it for me.”

“Uh…”

   Next thing you knew his lips were against yours, soft in his movements but aggressive in his desires. You pushed him away, wiping clean your lips. He merely chuckled.

“Too soon?”

“We… can’t…”

“Says who? Doors locked and I have no appointments.” Jaehyun kissed your cheek. “It’s just us.”

    He started trailing kisses down your neck, hands slipping under your shirt to feel skin. You shivered from his touch, trying to push him away but he stood firm where he was. He got you out of your shirt, his kisses going down your chest and between your breasts. He unhooked your bra and got it off, being gentle with your breasts but taking one of your nipples into his mouth and tugging on it. A noise you had never made before escaped your lips, and in your haze you felt embarrassed.

“That was cute, but I want something more.”

    Jaehyun pulled you up to your feet, but you couldn’t really stand on your own. That wasn’t really a problem as he bent you over his desk, his hands groping your ass. He hummed to himself, feeling you up. He leaned over, kissing up your back. You whimpered, moving ever so slightly, trying to find something to use. You could feel him tugging down your skirt, his hand rubbing you through your panties.

“You don’t have much experience do you? Don’t worry, I’ll teach you.”

“Uh…”

“You’re getting so wet, am I your favorite professor?”

“No…”

“Hm, I guess I’ll have to change that.”

    You were suddenly flipped over, your head spinning once more. You heard Jaehyun fumble with his pants, hearing his slight moans. You knew what he was doing and what was coming next. You felt his hand go into your panties, his fingers rubbing against your folds, and it wasn’t long before he pushed one into you. Instinctively your legs tried to close up but he forced them apart.

“You have to get your participation points baby girl.”

    You tried to say something, but the only thing that came out of your mouth were incoherent mumbles. You felt him tug down your panties, feeling completely exposed now. He caressed your body again, his fingers working you over. You hated that this heat was building in you because of his actions, but in your state you couldn’t resist him, you couldn’t resist anything. Then you felt it, something poking at your entrance, something big.

“… professor…”

“Jaehyun. Say it.”

“…”

“Say it.”

    You cried out as he pushed everything in with one swift thrust. You arched your back, desperately trying to find something to hold onto as your body was assaulted with this unfamiliar feeling. Jaehyun slipped his hands into yours, and you held on tight. You slowly got used to his length, squeezing him without meaning too, making him moan into your ear.

“That’s good… that’s a good girl… you still haven’t said my name…”

“Jae… jaehyun…”

“Hm, I like the sound of that. Let’s see if you’ll scream it out.”

    You barely registered his words before he started moving. Nearly pulling out all the way and then slamming right back into you. Every move of his made you shake with pleasure you hadn’t felt before. It also hurt, his actions just slamming you into the desk over and over again, but it all just blurred together. One moment you were groaning from the pain, and the next you were moaning from the pleasure.

“… fuck…”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m doing.” Jaehyun grunted. “You’re so fucken tight baby, I like it.”

“… please…”

“Please what? You want more? You wanna cum? Use your words baby.”

“… hm…”

“I guess you can’t. That’s okay. I got you.”

    You felt hot, like something was about to explode in you, and that frightened you. In the moment your hand found something. You weren’t sure what it was, but it kinda felt like a rock. Regardless, you held it tight, and swung your hand up at Jaehyun, hitting his head. You knocked him back, managing to get him off. The momentum also helped you sit up, your feet touching the floor. You were still unsteady, but you had some strength to stand. You could vaguely see Jaehyun on the floor, but you just wanted out. You only took a few steps before a hand was around your leg and you were yanked back.

“So that’s how you want it.”

    Jaehyun didn’t sound too happy, and he tugged you towards him. He got you on your knees, ass up high, shoving your face into the ground. You tried squirming but your head started swimming when he trusted back into you, filling you up and making you feel good. He held your hips firmly, slamming into you over and over again. You balled up your hands into fists, biting down on your lip, trying and failing to focus on anything else.

“Speak up baby, I can’t hear you.”

    Jaehyun reached down and grabbed your face, getting you to stop biting your lips. A ragged moan escaped you and he smiled, kissing your cheek.

“Good girl.”

    He continued his motions, driving you to the edge without warning. His name spilled from your mouth as you shook in pleasure, squeezing him tightly. He held you tight in the moment, his own thrusts starting to lose rhythm and getting sloppy. Your head was spinning from everything that had happened, soon enough feeling him spill inside you, filling you to the brim and making you feel warm. He rested his head against your back, still lightly moving his hips as he rode out his high.

“Fuck… you feel so good baby…”

    You completely collapsed on the floor, laying on your back with Jaehyun on top of you, placing lazy kisses on your chest. You had a dazed smile plastered on your face, the edges of your vision black.

“… jaehyun…” 

“Hm?” He looked up, only to see you had passed out. “Had fun I see. Don’t worry, I’ll count this as your participation for today. I hope we can do it again next time.”