#it was a good decision because soon after Jason joined and he needed more tips

[nelkcats]

Almost Parent Material

When Dan and Ellie decided to change the titles from "cousin" and "acquaintance from another reality" to "father," Danny could honestly say he panicked. He wasn't a teenager anymore but he wasn't sure if he wanted kids; well, it's not like he had much of a choice.

Maybe it was a ghost thing but the moment Dan and Ellie (kids, his kids) said those words, something inside his core froze, in a good way, it was a comfortable, comforting cold, like a Christmas morning.

The problem was that while the situation made him extremely happy, Danny didn't know how to be a father, and the Fentons were horrible references. So he made the most logical leap: online forums.

He found himself chatting with an online user named KNight quite frequently, he seemed to have also been thrown into early parenthood a couple of years ago and was still struggling with it, but overall he had a couple of good tips.

KNight soon transitioned to Bather and then just Bruce, every time Danny talked to him it felt like they were a couple of little old ladies gossiping. Between the random chatter and the parenting advice he was actually having fun.

So, when Bruce invited him over to his house two years later to officially meet, Danny naturally panicked. Dan and Ellie were laughing at him in the background, the little shits.

[winryofresembool]

Caleo fic: It’s all about the name

Chapter 6 (aka final ch)

Summary: Calypso is a barista at a coffee shop and one day she gets a customer who refuses to give her his real name. At first he seems really annoying but eventually Calypso finds out not all is what it looks like on the surface. (Coffee shop AU!)

a/n: Woop, finally it's time to finish this fic! It took way longer than I anticipated but hey, I'm still pretty happy I did it.

Thank you once again everyone who has supported me both here and on ao3, and special thanks goes to @caldez for the headcanons because without you this fic wouldn't exist!

Once more, I hope you guys enjoy, and please leave a comment if you like this! And keep your eyes open for a twlitf update soon enough because I am continuing to work on it again tomorrow! I've missed that universe a lot.

Words: 1700+

Genre: fluff, humor

Warnings: some slight *ahem* implications (just implications though)

previous chapter / AO3

...

A few weeks later, Leo was leaning against the familiar counter again while he was watching Calypso work. For once he didn’t interrupt her, instead quietly waiting for her to stop her work for the day so he could tell her what he had in his mind. Well, not entirely quietly; his fingers were tapping impatiently against the smooth surface, and eventually Calypso decided that she needed to ask him to stop because she could see some of the other customers giving him dirty looks. Not that she could call him a customer anymore; after the day when Leo had finally revealed his name and she had asked him out, they had been on several dates and things were going pretty well between them.

At first Calypso had been worried that she had been too fast in her decision to ask him out, but after a while she had realized that Leo’s company was exactly what she needed. Not because she /needed/ to have a boyfriend, but because his company made her happy. They could talk about anything and everything between the earth and sky, they had a lot of fun even when they were bickering about whether blueberry cake was better than strawberry cake - which wasn’t a feeling she had known in the past - and most importantly, they understood each other. Both were loners who had some bad experiences with people who were important to them and both were trying to figure out what they wanted to do with their lives. And despite the mischievous surface, Calypso already knew that Leo was someone she could trust to keep his word. She could see it from for example the way he interacted with his work ‘family’ (Calypso had caught Leo calling Georgie his sister the other day when she had quickly dropped by at the garage), how dedicated he was in achieving his goals and how he still showed up at the coffee shop almost every day despite being busy.

“Leonidas,” Calypso had managed to make Leo confess his full first name and now she used it every time she wanted to chastise him. “You may be my boyfriend now…” The b-word made Leo grin widely. “... But I’m still going to have to ask you to try to be quieter because some of our customers don’t like the drumming.”

“Sunshine, not the Leonidas! That’s so cruel,” Leo fake complained. “I was just deep in my thoughts and you know I can’t help it with my random movements while I’m thinking…”

“Fine, then,” Calypso gave in. “What were you thinking?”

“How shiny your hair looks in this light…” Leo said with a low voice.

“Leo… please leave that talk to my off hours,” Calypso scolded him but couldn’t help but blush a bit.

“Okay, Coffee Princess,” he said but suddenly got more serious. “Listen, I do have some actual news for you. I just don’t want to tell it right now that you’re working.”

Calypso checked the clock. “Then you’re going to have to wait maybe 15 more minutes because I still need to take care of a few things once we have closed.”

“No problem. I can wait because Patience is my middle name,” Leo claimed.

“Leonidas Patience Valdez?” Calypso eyed him suspiciously. “Soon you’ll tell me that actually your name is Theophrastus Bombastus or something like that.”

That gave Leo a new idea. “Ooh, should we start a new game? Guess my middle name?” he asked enthusiastically.

“No,” Calypso said immediately. “I think we’ve had enough name games for a while. But maybe some other time.” Her mouth twitched a bit as she said that.

“Oh, alright,” Leo hid his disappointment quickly. “Well, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be waiting for you outside once you’re done.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon. And hey, just to be clear: I wouldn’t care even if your name really was Bad Boy Supreme. You’re still my weird but pretty great boyfriend.” Calypso smiled at him before he raised from his spot and waved her a goodbye.

... A bit later, Calypso joined Leo by a car he had recently obtained. It wasn’t the newest or fanciest but Leo had worked hard to make it function and even Jo had admitted he had done a great job with it. After getting the car Leo had taken a habit to drop Calypso to her apartment after her workshift so they had some extra time to talk - and more - which in Calypso’s opinion was a pretty sweet gesture, even if the make out sessions inside the small car sometimes got a little uncomfortable.

“So, what did you want to tell me?” Calypso asked when she was fastening her seatbelt.

“What… what would you say about working at Waystation?” Leo wanted to know, looking at the road instead of her.

“Huh? Cars aren’t exactly my area of expertise,” Calypso noted, wondering where he was going with his question.

“No, I don’t mean the car side,” he responded, shaking his head a little. “You do know that Emmie has a flower shop in the building as well, right? The thing is, she is getting closer to her retirement and an extra hand wouldn’t hurt her. I know you like gardening, and who knows, you might learn a thing or two from her. She knows a /lot/, trust me. You’ve told me you don’t really like it at the coffee shop so when I heard her talking about hiring someone to Jo… I was like, I gotta let Calie know about this.”

“So… did you already tell her I could be interested?” Calypso asked.

“No, because I didn’t know how you would feel about it. I think it’s better if you contact her personally; Emmie isn’t the kind of person who hires someone just because she happens to be her employee’s girlfriend,” Leo stated, and based on the earlier stories Calypso had heard of her, she could easily imagine that he was right.

“Yeah. That makes sense.” Calypso nodded. “I wouldn’t want to be hired for that reason anyway.”

“You already have a lot of experience in customer service and you’re interested in flowers and stuff so I feel like you could have a good chance,” Leo said, glancing at her briefly. “I mean… if you want to, of course! I don’t know for sure…”

“I’d love to!” Calypso exclaimed before Leo had time to finish his sentence. “At this point anything beats making a thousand cups of coffee per day. And, well, I suppose getting to see a certain someone during the breaks would be an added bonus,” she added sneakily. “I will make sure to contact her soon. Thanks for letting me know!”

“You’re welcome,” Leo replied. “I’ll have my thumbs up for you, babe.”

“Thank you.”

“That wasn’t quite all, though,” Leo said after a while. “I’ve told you about my friend Piper, right? Well, she sings in a band and she knows a lot of people who play and study music as well… They have a gig nearby tomorrow evening and as it happens, I’m not working then so if you happen to have time… would you like to go and see them? And maybe we can meet with Piper and the others afterwards? I just thought, you once said you had enjoyed singing and playing but you had to stop… Well, maybe this could be your chance to get reacquainted with music. She could probably give you some tips too.”

“Do you think she would be OK with it? I mean, helping me out?” Calypso inquired.

“Oh, for sure!” Leo reassured her. “To be honest, she has been quite curious about you ever since I told her I have a girlfriend - it’s almost like she doesn’t actually believe I have one - so I bet she’d be excited to meet you.”

“Um, there’s one small thing, though…” Calypso noted. “You know Reyna, my coworker? From what I’ve gathered, she used to have a major crush on a guy named Jason, who coincidentally is now dating a girl named Piper. And I’m quite sure we are talking about the same Piper now because it’s not that common a name. Maybe I should ask Reyna first how she feels about me hanging out with her before I promise anything...”

“Ouch… Yeah, maybe you should. I don’t wanna cause issues between you and your friend.” Leo agreed.

“But hey, thanks for asking.” Calypso briefly lowered her left hand on Leo’s right one that was resting on the gear stick. “I’d like to meet your friends at some point, for sure. And I’ve never been to a concert so I would definitely love to see one!”

“You’ve never been to a concert?” Leo asked, looking surprised.

“No,” Calypso shrugged. “That was another one of those things that was a waste of time according to my father. But hey, there’s no one to stop me now!”

“That’s my girl. And I can promise that if you decide to go, you would have a decent company too.” Leo grinned at her.

“Hmmm… I still need to be convinced about that…” Calypso teased him. She wondered when she had become someone who flirts and jokes but she assumed that was the effect of the ‘Bad Boy Supreme’.

“Oh, I will convince you, alright,” Leo promised. Calypso couldn’t help but blush when she thought about the implications behind his words.

“OK, as long as we make it to my place first.”

A comfortable silence fell between the couple as Calypso took in everything they had just discussed. The more she thought about it, the more clearly she saw what she wanted to do with her future. She’d save money at a place that she was quite positive she would prefer over the coffee shop, hopefully find a way to get reacquainted with music - maybe with Piper’s help, maybe some other way - and eventually start studying whatever she felt passionate about. Maybe certain things would take a while to happen, but she was on the right path, and why would she have to rush anywhere when she had people like Leo by her side?

[xaphrin]

@andthendk​ - I had to fic your beautiful JayRae library art. I hope you don’t mind that I made it a bit smutty.

- - -

“Her bosom heaved, as though she were going to break the stays on her corset. Sir Kallum leaned over her and looked deep into her eyes, and Rebecca suddenly felt as though she wasn’t wearing nearly enough. She needed more petticoats to keep the roguish knight from thinking about the earthly treasures between her legs.”

Raven pushed her knuckles against her lips, trying to hold back a laugh. A few aisles over, someone clicked their tongue, reminding them that this was a quiet place. She looked over her shoulder at Jason who sat behind her, his long legs caging her in. “It does not say that. No real woman refers to her vagina as an earthly treasure.”  

“It does too!” He leaned over her and showed her the page, resting his chin on the crown of her head. “Just wait to you get to the part where he says he feels like a pirate, plundering her moist woman cave.”

Raven twisted her lips as she tried to stave off another bought of laughter, and leaned back into his chest, reaching over his leg to the small pile of romance novels next to her. All the covers had dresses torn off of plump, gravity-defying breasts, or half-dressed men with full moons in the background. It had become a bit of a hobby for them to kill time on a Saturday night. Find a hidden corner of the library and read the absolute worst romance they possibly could. It was only recently that they’d taken up this particular position - Jason propped up in a hidden nook on the floor, and Raven curled up between his warm legs.  

Raven shifted, and picked through the books, looking for the one with the vampire on it. “What was the one we read last week? A volcano of molten seed?” 

Jason’s lip curled up at the edge and he stuck out his tongue. “Her sentient nub of flesh?”

Raven laughed and leaned back against him, picking out a different book and setting it on her lap. “No one should use such silly terms to describe a clit… or a vagina. It’s a vagina.” 

Jason shrugged and picked up the book she had chosen, glancing over its cover. He stuck out his tongue and looked down at her. “Moonsickness. Oh, joy. Werewolf porn. I didn’t know that was a thing you were into, Little Bird.”

“Just read it.” She leaned back against his chest, laughing as she settled deeper into his warmth. “The library closes soon and we both have to go back to our respective lives after this.”

He sighed and set his chin on the crown of her head again, his tone melancholy. “Do we though?”

“We do.” She took the book from his hand, thumbing through the pages. “The library is neutral territory. When it closes, we go back to what we are outside of its walls.”

“Pity.” He always said it like that, almost flippantly. Like he definitely didn’t want to go back to the mask he hid behind, but he didn’t want to give it up either. He was always uncertain, and as much as Raven wanted him to choose a side to make this all easier, she could understand why he was hesitant to make a decision. Decisions were hard, and they had real consequences - consequences that could tear them apart if they weren’t careful.

Right now, it was easier to live in this constant state of… inbetween.  

His arms wrapped around her waist, and it felt… comforting. She smelled the scent of cloves and peat, probably from a whiskey he had earlier. She closed her eyes and sighed softly, letting her body adjust to him. With a teasing, small smile, she halfheartedly reached for the romance novel in front of her. “Fine. I’ll read.”  

“You’re sweet.”

Raven voice was low, barely above a whisper. “He was already so hot for Cadence. His thick member pressed tight against his jeans as the motorcycle rumbled beneath his balls.” Raven snorted. “Cadence was the only one who could-”

Raven stopped as she felt Jason’s fingers slide along her waist, dipping under the hem of her top and pausing at the fly of her jeans. Her heart stopped in her chest and she stared stright ahead, unsure of what she should do. If she looked at him, it would break the spell. If she spoke, it would feel like she was asking him to stop, and… 

His fingers circled the button of her fly, not quite touching her, but simply asking if this was okay.

…she wasn’t sure if she wanted it to stop. No, she knew she didn’t want it to stop. This was new, and dangerous, but so was everything else they were doing. Her heart started again, picking up wild, frantic speed as she shifted her legs just a little in invitation.

“-make him say yes. She could make him stay and rejoin the pack.” Raven’s voice wavered just a little, but it didn’t make him stop.

Jason flicked the fly to her jeans open, pulling down the zipper. 

“She held Derrek’s heart in her small hands. And he knew that without question.”

His fingers dipped into her jeans, tracing random patterns over the soft, black cotton of her underwear. Raven flushed darker, her eyes fluttering as she thought. If she had known that this was where the night was going to lead, she would have worn cuter underwear. Raven swallowed again and licked her lips, her voice dropping again as Jason slipped his hand into her jeans, over her underwear. 

“He imagined rutting with her pretty, little heart shaped ass as she wore nothing but those muddy cowboy boots she was so fond of.”

Jason’s mouth found her ear and he nibbled gently on the lobe, his fingers trying to memorize every inch of her. Oh, gods. She didn’t know anything could feel like… this. Raven felt electric shocks snap right to her clit, and it took every ounce of her control not to grind into his hand like a horny teenager. She let go of a short, desperate sigh.  

Jason hummed and traced her ear with the tip of his tongue, whispering, “Keep going.”

“He finally shut off the engine to his bike and swung his leg over, watching her as she crossed her arms under her chest, pushing her perky tits up to her neck.”

Jason snorted, but his hand didn’t stop. He slipped his fingers under the waistband of her underwear and split her wide, easily finding her clit. Oh, stars. Raven’s back arched, and she closed her eyes, biting back a soft gasp. Holy hell. This felt so damn good. Her eyes fluttered, and she felt Jason nip at her earlobe again, his fingers on either side of her clit, stroking her. 

“‘Weren’t you going to run away again?’ Cadance’s voice was a bitter pill and he had to swallow it. Derrek had to face what he’d done, and the world he left behind.”

Jason’s voice was a low, growling grumble and Raven bit into her lower lip, looking down at the book in her hand. Behind her, she could feel his erection pushing against her lower back, insistent but not invasive. He wasn’t asking for anything more than what was happening right now. But… maybe she wanted more. Raven found herself wanting to touch his cock, to stroke him and see exactly how he felt under her own fingertips. Would he break as easily as she was breaking now? Would he gasp and writhe and whimper, just as she was?

“‘I’m back because of you and your hot pussy.’ Derrek hated that he lied to her, but he didn’t want to face the truth yet. ‘Not because of the pack. The pack is bullshit and you know it.’”

Raven felt like the words were floating around her, not quite real and not quite anything at all. His fingers were moving at a furious pace now, and Raven was shifting restlessly against him, her lips trembling as he kissed down the side of her neck, laving his tongue at a too-sensitive spot behind her ear. She bit the inside of her cheek, trying to keep from making a sound as the older woman looking for knitting patterns moved an aisle closer to them. They were going to be found out. His hand was blatantly down her pants and they were going to be found out.  

“‘If you don’t want to join the pack that’s fine, but then you can’t have me either.’ As if to prove her point, Cadence sat back on the roadside bench and lifted her short, jean skirt. She snarled at him like the Alpha she was and spread her legs, showing off her soaking wet pussy.”

Jason’s breath was harsh in her ear and his fingers moved even faster over her clit, to the point where Raven could feel her powers snap at her fingertips. Magic was pooling in the hollows of her body, gathering at her weak points as she felt like she was pulled deeper and deeper into an icy-cold lake. But this time, she wanted to drown. 

“Her fingers spread her lips wide and speared herself with her perfectly manicured hands. ‘I’m the only one who can have me,’ she said defiantly. Cadence tilted her head back, moaning as the rain fell on her white cotton shirt. Her nipples were dusty rose and ripe for biting, and Derrek felt his primal wolf rise up in him - Oh!”

The world practically exploded in light behind her eyes. 

Raven dropped the book and her head tilted back against his shoulder, gasping as her muscles shook and her body trembled wildly under his touch. She felt wave after wave of pleasure wrack her body, her magic slid along her skin, burning her like lightning. It hurt. It felt good. It was cold. It was hot. It was everything and nothing all at once, and she shook against him, but Jason didn’t stop. He kept moving over her, his fingers harsh and unforgiving until she felt another orgasm start just behind the first. Her fingers clawed at his thighs, desperate to hold onto something so she didn’t fly away. 

Finally Jason’s hand stilled and he pulled his fingers away, carefully zipping her back up. His hand rested on her thighs and he sighed, the sound raw between them, and Raven could feel him practically will his erection back into submission. 

“Mm. This book is boring.” Jason set his chin back on the crown of her head and started picking through the pile of books as if nothing had happened between them. “I’m really more into vampires. I think the sucking thing does it for me.”

Raven flushed, but she forced a weak, breathy laugh, hoping it didn’t sound as panicked as she felt. Above them the lights flickered rhythmically, reminding them that they only had ten minutes left - the library was closing soon. Jason let go of a disappointed sigh. 

“It’s late, Little Bird. We should probably think about returning to our corners of the universe for another week.” He neatly stacked the books next to them, before bringing them over to a nearby cart so they could be reshelved later. Jason glanced down at her and shoved his hands in his coat pocket. “Same time next week?”

Raven swallowed, her eyes wide as she nodded. “Ah… yeah. Yeah, that’s fine.” 

“Good.” He searched her eyes for a long moment before leaning forward and kissing her cheek. He started for the door, offering her a small wave. “Try not to cuff me and bring me in anytime soon, Little Bird. I’d hate to miss whatever happens between Cadence and Derrek.”

“I thought you were into vampires?”

He looked over his shoulder at her and shrugged. “Takes all kinds.”

What did that mean?

[your-worst-knightmare]

Red: Pt. 10

Masterlist here

Jason’s whole morning was a mess of bleary-eyed madness. Louis had left the safehouse with Bizarro long before Alfred had arrived in a limo to pick Artemis and Jason up. Both of them didn’t have many belongings save for weapons, which Alfred insisted that they let him take care of. 

“Master Jason, it’s wonderful you and Miss Artemis are able to visit this time of year. Your stay will be busy, I must warn you, but everyone will be there.”

“Wait, what’s happening?” Jason asked, trying to shake the weariness from his brain. 

“Have you really forgotten, Master Jason?  The annual Wayne charity gala is tomorrow.”

“Well it seems that you won’t have to call the rest of your family now,” Artemis remarked. 

Jason could only slap his forehead. “Alf, i came for business, not to party. We’re all in danger. I mean, we don’t know for sure, but–”

“Then it seems suitable that you wait until at least the gala is over. Most of the family hasn’t arrived yet anyhow. Oh, and Miss Stephanie has arranged a shopping trip for the two of you. She assumes you both hadn’t brought adequate clothing in advance.”

“Aw, Alfred–” he was swiftly cut off by a jab to the side. 

“Thank you Alfred. I’m sure Jason can enjoy some time with his family without any talk of business.” Artemis gave Jason a look, and he knew better than to oppose both her and Alfred.

The old man chuckled to himself as he pulled up to Wayne Manor. A full house was always nice, if not a bit of a handful. “I’m sure he can, Miss Artemis, I’m sure he can. Try to enjoy yourselves for a while. In the meantime, let me show you to your rooms.”

In short, Jason was not enjoying himself in the least. He was hungry and tired, and of course stupid Stephanie Brown made him go shopping. And Replacement would never let Damian hear the end of it if Jason dared complain. He would get his revenge. Somehow. 

The one person Jason wouldn’t mind seeing wasn’t even in the city. Yeah, because Damian’s got friends now. Like Jason wasn’t the first friend Damian ever had. The little brat left him a note apologizing for his absence, but its formality only made Jason laugh. The kid should be with his friends, maybe learning how to talk like a normal ten-year-old. 

Naturally, Steph wouldn’t make Damian go shopping. It was dreadful, with Steph practically hijacking Artemis and leaving Jason and Replacement (Tim)  stranded in high end stores suspended in utter confusion. It wasn’t that Jason didn’t know how to shop, it was that stupid Brown wouldn’t let him touch anything without her approval of the item first. That left very few items in the store left for Jason to choose from. 

It was simply maddening. Steph finally brought him a green suit and insisted that it was the one. “It’s viridian. It’s so in Jason,” he mocked when she asked to see it on him. He didn’t even get to see what she had gotten Artemis. 

He didn’t have to try it on. And hallelujah, he got to go home. Much to nobody’s surprise, he didn’t get much rest when he got back to Wayne Manor either. Jason had scarcely returned to his room when he was tacked by a ten-year old whirlwind. Damian. The boy greeted him in the formal dialect of the League, a habit not yet broken. “Akhi! You came back!”

“Well that’s obvious, isn’t it? Woah, okay, let me breathe here Damian.” The boy obeyed and sat on the bed. He clearly wasn’t ready to leave anytime soon.

“Where have you been?” he asked, crossing his arms.” You haven't visited most– if any of your safehouses lately. I… I’ve been worried.”

Well the kid had changed then. Jason had to give the little prince some credit. The kid would never have said that in his right mind had he still been with the League. 

“I’ve been busy.”

“Too busy to not even go on patrol? To not answer any messages? You practically disappeared, Todd.” Damian wasn’t buying it. One thing hadn’t changed, that was for sure. The prince would get the truth out of him one way or another. Honestly, Jason was a little (okay, maybe a lot) embarrassed to tell Damian that he’d been caught and in custody for two months. He hadn’t even tried, really tried to get out. 

But, Jason figured it was better to be up front. Especially with a family of detectives with a notorious history of using secrets as blackmail.

Damian only scoffed in response.” Tt’. Really, akhi? You’re getting soft.” 

“Speak for yourself, brat. Now let me sleep. I’m tired.” He flopped onto the bed, with no regard for the assassin prince still sitting there. 

Instead of leaving, Damian snuggled up into the crook of Jason’s arm and soon fell asleep listening to the rhythmic beating of his brother’s heart. 

Jason’s next interruption (named Artemis) came too early into the next morning. Damian was still where he had fallen asleep, dozing softly. At the sound of a knock, Jason regrettably blinked himself awake. “Come in,” he yawned.

“I see you’ve been able to rest. I was going to ask if you wanted to come train with me.” Artemis raised an eyebrow at the scene. “ It seems that you can tolerate at least one of your brothers' presence.”

“It’s a love-hate relationship.”

The Amazon snorted. “So are you going to take me up on my offer or not?”

“Yeah, I’m coming Red.” He carefully shifted Damian off of himself. Thankfully, the kid’s eyes remained closed. “Wait, before you go can you help me with my shoulder?”

“Are you not capable?” she asked, nevertheless sitting down beside him. Jason pulled off his shirt to let her inspect the wound. Most of his torso was covered in bandages as well as his shoulder. Peeling them back to see how the wound healed was a tedious task. Enhanced healing made it even more annoying on account of never knowing what to expect. 

“Ow. Easy, Arty.”

“ Oh, be quiet. You should be fine by tomorrow. Just keep the gauze on for compression,” Artemis said, starting to re-wrap the bandages. 

Jason closed his eyes with a small sigh, glad to sit there and do nothing. Relaxing was a weird way to put it, but he couldn’t find any other way to describe it. The tips of her hair brushed his face, surrounding him the scent of her shampoo. For the first time in months, he felt… calm. 

“I assume you’ll be able to take care of yourself from here. Meet me downstairs in five.” 

“Thanks Princess!” he called after her.

As soon as Artemis left, Damian’s eyes flew open. Jason groaned.”You’ve been awake this whole time?”

Damian nodded, grinning devilishly. “You’re getting soft akhi,” he piped, poking his brother in the ribs. 

“And I’m going to kill you if another word comes out of your mouth.” Jason pulled on some suitable clothes for training and shooed Damian out before going to join Artemis. 

Surprisingly, the training room was empty. That was especially unusual for this time in the morning with the Bats. Then Jason realized that everyone was probably helping out Alfred downstairs for that night. Not that training was easy work either. But he’d go help after. 

“Took you long enough.” Artemis said, smirking. “Warm up and then we spar.”

She was going to kick his butt. He knew it. But he wasn’t going to argue. “Yes ma'am.”

Jason had half a mind to say that being an Amazon was plain cheating. Yeah, he held his own, but barely. The strength of the Lazarus wasn’t always on his side. Then again, Jason didn’t always have the privilege of fighting people his own size. 

“Another round?”” Artemis asked, helping him up from the floor. 

“Yeah, give me a sec,” he huffed, wiping the sweat from his forehead with his shirt. “Next round, I pick the weapon though.”

By the time Artemis was satisfied with the amount of training done, Jason felt like he was going to drop dead on the spot. Which–in a weird way– reminded him of how much he’d missed training with her. She didn’t let anyone get away with slacking off. Neither did Alfred, for that matter, which was why Jason needed to hurry up in the showers or else face the wrath of an all-powerful butler. A butler much too tired to deal with any kind of nonsense. 

The evening came faster than Jason had anticipated. He examined his appearance in the mirror, doing his best at looking presentable. At first, he hadn’t been sure of Steph’s choice of colour, but he was surprised to say that he actually looked… good? Fingering the cuffs of his jacket, he eyed the ‘finishing touch’ that Bruce insisted he wear. A Rolex– one that Bruce had originally got Jason for his sixteenth birthday. He’d never gotten to wear it. Death tended to preoccupy a person. 

 After staring at the timepiece for at least five minutes, he finally made the decision to put it on. He headed downstairs, where a few of Bruce’s close friends  as well as the boys were already present. The girls were soon to arrive, fashionably late, as Alfred had put it. 

As if on cue, the doors to the hall were thrown open (a bit dramatically if Jason had anything to say about it). And Jason stopped. Wow. The girls all looked supermodel gorgeous. And Artemis– Just woah. 

Her dress was clearly made to match his own outfit. Steph had clearly outdone herself there. It was green, high-necked and sleeveless, which flowed elegantly to her shins. Her red hair was pulled back, keeping the delicate curls out of her face and making the designs etched into her side-shave all the more striking. A gold armband circled her bicep, emphasizing her muscular physique. 

“Good evening, Jason,” she said coolly, practically gliding across the floor.”Tell me, when did you decide to fulfill your dreams of being a statue?”

“This? Oh, this is a technique used to evade the reporters. You should try it sometime. Works wonders.”

The Amazon’s lips curled upward in amusement. “I see.” She reached across the table to steal an untouched patry from Jason’s plate.

“Hey! I was going to eat that.”

“It can’t possibly be that hard to get another,” she said, taking a bite. “Besides, you weren’t eating it.”

He gave her a look. Artemis shrugged, mouth full. “Ah, it’s fine. I’ll steal another one from the kitchen. Bruce wants us there for a briefing anyway.”

“Briefing?”

“Yeah, so the press doesn’t find anything fishy with us.” It sounded like a weird thing to do, but even when he was a kid, Jason had pre-gala briefings. What to say to the reporters, how to act (well mostly) what impression to give off. There was a whole science to it. Alfred didn’t teach the Bats  drama in vain. 

The kitchen, which seemed colossal while empty, slowly shrank as more and more people shuffled inside. Bruce quizzed each of them of their roles, and things they were not to do. Jason, for example, was not to get drunk and cuss out the press. Much to his own chagrin, Jason was expected to actually talk to some of the guests, and give off a good impression.

“Remember, you are all representing the Wayne name, even if you don’t bear it. Please act accordingly.” 

On the bright side, Jason was able to sneak another pastry out. Man, he’d missed Alfred’s cooking. For all of his redeemable traits, Louis hadn’t been the best chef. It was a step up from the cooking at the correctional facility, but Alfred’s skillset was simply legendary. 

The flash of cameras and clamouring reporters soon arrived to the manor. Limos that looked long enough to fit thirty people pulled up one after the other. He remembered watching them as a kid, in awe of the lavish use of their money. He remembered smiling so much at the cameras that his cheeks hurt. He remembered eating so much food that he felt sick afterwards- thereafter getting to wait the rest of the party out in his room. There was something satisfying about knowing there was a party downstairs and choosing not to be a part of it. 

Jason was relieved once the guests settled into the hall and calmed down. Because he spent so little time with his own family, he felt like more of a guest himself. His brothers were busy talking to the elite, making small talk about whatever rich people were interested in. Artemis didn’t have much care to mingle, which was a small comfort to Jason. At least he could talk to her and not seem like a total loner. 

“Bruce said I have to talk to some people this time.”

“Do you really plan to?”

“Well I’m talking to you now, aren’t I?”

“Oh quit your blather Jason. What’s on your mind?”

He leaned an arm on the table, sighing. There were so many things. Coming back to Wayne Manor made him enough of a trainwreck as it was. Add onto that the threat of lurking Owls and the thought of Biz and Louis by themselves didn’t help. And the gala? All of that was the perfect recipe for something to go wrong. Artemis was the one thing that kept him from losing his mind. Well, partially. 

“So many things Arty. Everything just piles up, you know?” She nodded solemnly, silently telling him to continue. “And I just…” he stopped, shaking his head, his entire vocabulary ceasing to exist. 

She took his hand and looked him in the eye. “I know. It really does happen at the worst times. Family is a difficult thing, Jason, but it’s better to keep them in your life, despite how much you may want to drop-kick some of them off a roof.” 

He laughed dryly. “How are you so perfect with everything Princess?”

“Perfect? I’m far from it. But you may keep believing that if you like,” she smiled.

 Oh, he was so glad she was back. Her presence alone was strangely soothing. She could say nothing and deliver a whole conversation. He hoped she understood his mess of a mind. Words alone couldn’t convey his thoughts. Life was hard, feelings more so. He’d have to unwind all of that later. Public settings weren’t the place to get emotional. 

“How do you think Biz and Louis are doing?” Jason asked, taking a sip of whatever carbonated drink the waiter had given him. 

“I’m sure they’re getting along. Louis seems likable enough.”

“I thought you two didn’t get along?”

“Yes, we may not see eye to eye, but I know a sincere man when I see one. He’s dedicated to doing right, and I respect that.”

Jason gave her a small round of applause, making the Amazon roll her eyes. “So glad to see my favorite people getting along.” He raised his glass. “To the reunion of the Outlaws, and you being friendly,”Jason toasted and drained the rest of his drink without another word. Artemis gave him an exasperated look before following suit. 

Tipping his glass to the light, he could’ve sworn he saw something. Was that… an owl? There was too much evidence of the Court following them for it not to be. What did they put in his drink? Upon placing the glass down, he nudged Artemis, motioning to his drink. Thankfully, she got his message. 

She swirled her own glass around in her hand, watching the last sips slosh around. Finally, she set it on the table. “We really must ask the waiter what mystery drink he is giving out. I simply must have some more,” Artemis said, throwing a little too much enthusiasm into her last sentence. 

The guests started to file to the middle of the hall. What the elite of Gotham had with waltzes, Jason would never know. But it seemed like a good way to pass information around the room discreetly. Jason got up, offering a hand to Artemis. “A dance, m’lady?” 

“Sounds wonderful.” The pair glided across the floor, Jason grateful for Alfred’s training in this type of thing. He leaned close to Artemis’ ear, scarcely daring to whisper. “We need to tell someone they’re here.”

“We’ll split up,” she breathed. “Find Barbara. I’ll find Dick.”

 “‘Kay.”

Jason was just about to hand her off to another partner when Artemis winced. “You okay?”

“Yes, it’s just… my head.” She brought a hand to her temple, grimacing. “I’ve got to go.”

Jason nodded. He could tell Dick himself. “Go on, I’ll meet you later.” He saw her off, and sat down in the corner, trying to locate Dick. He managed to catch his attention, only– his head started to pound too.

 “You okay, Jay? You look terrible.”

Jason sucked in a breath. “Some’n messed with–” his tongue felt like lead. Nope nope nope. He needed to leave. “–drink.” he managed, dashing out the door and to the nearest washroom.  

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #266

“... and buried deep beneath the waves, betrayed by family, to his nation with his last breath cried: beware the daughter of the sea.”

What's the last thing you looked up in the dictionary? Shit, it's right on the tip of my tongue... I was making sure I was using it right, which I was. Do you ever listen to instrumental music? Rarely, and if I do, it's normally game soundtracks. Who did you last sit on? I'm hoping you mean like... on their lap lmao in which case it'd probably be Jason. No one wants my fat ass to sit on their lap nowadays. What do you think about wind? I HATE wind, unless it's hot and there's a nice breeze. Has there been anyone that you wanted to get to know but never did? Well of course. That happened in high school a lot. What's the last thing you looked at that reminded you of someone? Teddy's picture on my shelf. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Not that I know of. I couldn't even begin to imagine either of those trying that. Do you have a gag reflex? A VERY STRONG ONE. Would you rather have sex before you're married or wait till marriage? I don't care. Tbh by now, I kinda think before is wiser only to ensure you two are compatible in that area. It wouldn't matter to me personally, but I know that's important to some people and can cause issues and built-up bitterness. Just use protection, Christ. Have you ever let someone hit you? Um no? Do you have friends in other states/countries? Plenty. Been on the Internet since before I was even a pre-teen, talking to strangers lmao. Do you ever pay attention during church? I would try to back then, but I never succeeded well because my mind would wander out of boredom. Do you have self-control? That very much depends on the situation. I can be EXTREMELY impulsive, but in other cases hold it together. Have you ever broken a window? No. When was the last time you freaked someone out? I'm sure it was a few nights ago when I had another nightmare and woke up screaming. Mom always yells my name to snap me out of it. Have you ever gone on a date with a weirdo? No. Who's the last person you called a bitch? I don’t know. Is anyone in your family disabled? Yes. What do you want for Christmas? It's hella early to think about it, but I'm quite certain I'll be asking for a treadmill. How many moles do you have? I don't think I have any? Aren't freckles and moles different? Do you own any comic books? No. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I don't know. I never did really nasty ones because I wasn't stupid. Do you know anyone who has been raped? Almost, anyway. Idk if I know anyone to really has been... I hope not. Are you an atheist? No. I think there's... something. Have you ever owned a goldfish? Well yeah, from like, carnival games and stuff. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? I dunno, probably a family member when I changed my FB profile picture. How many times have you been stung by a bee? Once. Those fuckin hornets better stay the holy fuck away from me. What was the last flavor of gum you chewed? Probably something fruity. When was the last time you used tape? Ummm probably when I had to tape the side of my laptop screen a bit. When was the last time you said fuck? A couple questions ago in this survey lmao. Have you ever stolen something? Only this pink crayon I thought was beautiful at Sunday school oof. Who would you like to kiss right now? Maaaan there's three people I would so long I wasn't involved with anyone else. Mark of course lol, Jason, or Sara. Who was the last person you told to 'Shut the fuck up' to? Ha ha, probably playfully to Sara. Why were you last nervous? So I joined this group on deviantART called the Guiding Light Project, which is about mental health help and positivity, and there is a list of people seeking help and what their problem is. I decided to reach out to two people I really thought I could help, and one was a guy. Men make me so nervous that I was very nervous sending him a message, but it's going very well. Whose pants did you last take off? Uhhhh. OH YEAH HEY when I was hanging out with Colleen and she got me to change her son's diaper. Hate hate hate hated it. I do not ever need kids. When was the last time you were disturbed? Hm. I'm sure over something I saw on Facebook. NO, WAIT. Sara, do not read this. When I was at Ashley's, we were watching Naked and Afraid, and they caught a chameleon to cook for food. I almost screamed. Poor thing looked terrified when the guy grabbed him. Why did you last feel awkward? Also when messaging that guy. When was the last time you got in a fight with your best friend? It's been a long time. Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Only a friend. Who was the last person you read a book to? My niece had me read a book like fifty times. Who is the person you say the naughtiest things to? Ha ha, Sara when we're having our stupid fangirl moments. Who was the last person to send you a letter? Sara. It's still on my shelf. :') How do you feel about war? I’m a pacifist, so guess. Do you like cupcakes or muffins more? Hm, maybe cupcakes. Have you ever pushed someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? Nothing major. At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? In the morning, once I've passed the drowsy phase. Magenta, aqua, or coral? Coral. Do you like the color orchid? Ye! Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? Uhhh I literally want to be both? I'm *realistically* more interested in shooting weddings for the income, but if I had my way, I'd be perfectly financially content being a nature photographer. Man, I hope that happens. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Are you interested in health and wellness? "Rather than interests, I consider them two very important things I should always try to pay attention to. Health is very important." <<<< This. Would you ever be a fitness coach? HA no. Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? That's a very good question. This can definitely lead to you questioning flawed morals, so in that sense, it sure can be. In other ways though, it can certainly be a bad thing. Do you think for yourself? Yes. I am, generally, very opinionated and follow my gut instinct. Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? The former, usually. I can be AWFUL at making decisions though, so I definitely consider advice. What color is your bike? I don't have a bike. Are you due for a hike? There is physically no way I could handle a hike in my current shape. Muscle atrophy in the legs is not fuckin' fun, and with hyperhidrosis and THIS heat? Oh, hunny. Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? As a kid, I fainty remember having one? How often do you eat dessert? Very rarely. I don't need it. What's the trendiest item you own? Oh boy, I don't have a clue. I don't even know what's "trendy." Did you pull an all-nighter last night? No. When was the last time you wrote an essay? My first semester of this year. Do you enjoy writing essays? I actually do if it's a subject I'm passionate about. Do you enjoy learning? Yeah! What is your favorite fairytale? Fuckin fight me if you say Shrek isn't one. What is your favorite name that starts with a "Z"? I have no idea. Maybe Zena, though I prefer it with an "x." Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? Yes. I have before. Do you own a princess crown? No. When was the last time you were jealous of someone? Ugh... with how bad my PTSD has been lately, I've been having periodic episodes of raging hate and jealousy of the girl he dated after me, thinking things like, "what if he loved her more," "what if he also told her this or that," etc. They're not even together anymore, but my brain doesn't care. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Maybe? What was the last thing you killed? I think an earwig-ish thing. Whose number did you last get? The girl's who adopted Bentley. When was the last time you used a public bathroom? Probably not since an appointment with my psychiatrist some time ago. Have you ever used someone for money? Wow, no. Do you have manners? I honestly think I have great manners. Have you ever woken up and realized that yesterday really happened? That was ABSOLUTELY the day after the breakup. It didn't at all feel real when it was even happening. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Last November is when we had to put Teddy to sleep. God, I miss that baby boy. Or did Mitsu die later? I don't recall for sure. Do you know anyone who retired at a young age? I mean, probably. I'm just unaware. When was the last time you took a taxi/Uber? Where were you going? Never, actually. We don't really have those here. Have you ever been diagnosed (by a professional) with OCD? Yes. Do you know any married gay couples? Distantly. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? SARA! I feel like kids having a sleepover when I've been with her. Is there anything you should tell someone, but don’t want to? Yes. Have you ever woken up somewhere and not known how you got there? I don't believe so. Do you live somewhere where recreational marijuana is legal? No. Have you ever quit a job with no notice? No. Do you have nightmares often? HA, it's just about a nightly basis now. Have you ever been on any sort of government assistance? I've gotten loans for school and stuff. Does that count? Did you have your own bedroom when you were growing up? No, I shared it with my little sister. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic. Are you comfortable with your weight? Fuck no. How often do you listen to classic rock? Semi-frequently. Not as much as I did in high school. What about country? Just about never ever. Do you know anyone inside and out? I don't think that's possible. Is anyone in your family sick? Both Mom and Grammy are fighting cancer right now. I don't think my grandma has much time left. She can't walk on her own anymore. What kind of camera do you have? A Canon EOS Rebel T6. What is something you know you shouldn’t do, but do anyways? Download music. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Idk. Is photography one of your interests? Of course, I aim to make a career out of it. Do you know your neighbors very well? I personally don't. The person to the right of us, though, my mom knows decently and is a total and complete sweetheart. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? "Kind of (I hurt myself for my own purposes, but I did want attention paid to it), when I was a teenager, because I desperately needed someone to treat me with compassion and, like, take the shit that was happening to me seriously." <<<< I don't like admitting this, but it's happened. I want to emphasize that it was not the primary reason and was rather impulsive anger and self-hate, BUT for the mentioned reasons, I did want this shit taken seriously and realize I really needed help. Has anyone ever called you conceited? No. Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Certainly. Not like I used to, though. Who were you last really mad at? REALLY mad? I'm not sure, but probably Mom. What is a sad song that you like? "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has been in my head lately. What is a rumor people tell about you? I don't know of any. The only rumor that I know has ever been spread about me was that Jason and I had a baby in high school. Despite the fact I was slim then lmao. If you were given 1,000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would you do with it? Definitely plant a forest around a house I'd like to model myself, dig a nice pond for more wildlife... a lot of stuff that would benefit nature. If you had to flee their home country, where would you live? Canada. Do you think psychic abilities exist? Which one would you like to have? No. I'd like to uhhhh... predict the future when I will it myself, I guess. What’s a skill or craft that you would like to master, but haven’t? I wish I could draw exactly what I see in my head. How did you find out Santa isn’t real? My mom just told me. What’s a personality trait that you wish you had? CONFIDENCE!!!!!!! Do you believe in getting revenge on those who do wrong by you? If so, how do you go about it? Noooo no no. That creates so many more problems. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family think you’d had done? That's a great question. If you could shop for free at one store, what would it be? For the sake of being smart, Wal-Mart. Necessities are there. Do you have any pets? If so, what are they? I have a Siamese-esque cat and a champagne ball python. I'm currently DESPERATELY trying to talk Mom into a Mexican red knee tarantula... and I really want a hognose snake. What event in your life would make a good movie? The breakup and my recovery. If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what would it be? Discrimination. Where do you find meaning in your life? Quite honestly, I don't feel it has much meaning currently. I'm not doing shit worthwhile. Do you believe things happen for a reason? Hell no. What do you think is a conspiracy? Honestly, I believe in quite a few. The one I believe in most was that the government was 120% involved in 911. Research. It is unbelievable. I'm very dubious that the "first" moon landing was real, either. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence it was on a soundstage. Why? America wanted to beat Russia in the space race. I love conspiracies. Do you believe in the afterlife? How do you picture it? Yes. I don't quite know how I picture it, but I lean towards like... this nirvanic state of peace and knowledge, and unity between the dead. What’s a superstition you believe in? I don’t believe in any superstitions. None. What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured? YOOOOOO when I was at Colleen's in-law's having dinner once, I literally took a large bite of rice RIGHT WHEN IT CAME OFF THE STOVE. I didn't know it'd only just been removed. My tongue was burned for weeks on end. Do you mind conflict? Hell yes I mind. I'm terrified of confrontation. If you could start a charity what would it be for? Something with mental health. Maybe to help those who can't afford help/therapy. If you were a cryptid (bigfoot, mothman, ect.) what would you be? I'm already a cryptid. What’s your ideal temperature and weather? Hm... like 55 and partly cloudy. What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on with no preparation? Gay rights. Have you ever worn those drunk goggles? Yes, for D.A.R.E. in elementary school. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? It depends on the subject of course, but I'm normally very good at agreeing to disagree. Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? Animal fucking cruelty. Dumbasses getting gored are well-deserved. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Lita Ford is a badass. Slays on the guitar and is just cool. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? I actually like the classic, deep red. Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? I don't think so. Why do so many fans with OTP’s insist that their ship is real? I don't really know, but it's annoying. Some people are just friends, y'know. Being similar/compatible does not equate to actually liking each other like that, and the feral ones are just... wow. Do you draw fanart of anything? Not anymore. There's soooo many pictures I'd love to draw of Mark, but I literally love him so much I don't want to disgrace his face with my poor ability to make shit proportional lmao. Favorite thing to see in museums? Fossils! Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? No. What things have people shamed you for? My AvPD doesn't want me to think about this. Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? Probably at some point. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? No. Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No.

[heartslogos]

mafia!verse: the plan

“You aren’t driving away in my car.”

“I've done worse in things fancier than your car that you can’t drive.”

Tim’s mouth clamps shut and Jason smirks in his momentary victory.

“Neither of you are driving away because this is a group effort,” Dick says, “And I’m not going in there alone. I might not make it out again.”

“Good,” Cassandra says, but makes no motion to lead the five of them past the doors.

“Someone needs to hold the door for me,” Tim points out. “These are the most comfortable crutches I’ve used in the past few years, but they’re not fun to just stand around in.”

“Damian, you still live here.” Dick turns to the youngest of them. “Go on.”

“Technically,” Damian says slowly, “All of you still live here. Cain, we all know you’re his favorite. You open the door.”

“Jason makes a bold statement,” Cassandra replies, turning to Jason, “You open it.”

“Fuck off, he hates my guts and we’ll instantly be at a disadvantage. Tim, I’ll hold the door open from behind and you go in first. You’re technically the one running the business right now anyway.”

“Dick’s the eldest. You always talk about how you’d do anything for us because that’s what a big brother does.” Tim gestures with the tip of his crutch towards the door. “Well. Go on. Prove it.”

“Yeah, Dick, prove it.”

“Sequential order,” Damian agrees, “Grayson.”

A voice clears their throat from behind them and they all turn around to see Alfred.

“Did you need help with the door?”

The five of them exchange embarrassed looks before shuffling into order, mumbling variations of no, thank you, Alfred.

“Very good. Is that the five of you for dinner then?”

Another mumbled series of yes, please, thank you Alfred’s, as everyone makes sure they aren’t looking at the butler and instead at the floor.

“I feel like I’m in private school again,” Jason murmurs.

“You were in private school for all of one day before you got kicked out,” Damian replies.

“Yeah, and this is the part where I get kicked out. I’d say it was the highlight of the day but Alfred was there.”

“I remember it fondly, sir.”

“Come on, Aflred, you can pretend that you can’t hear us having a mild panic attack over facing the old man.”

“I bet he can hear us,” Tim groans, “I bet he can hear all of us right now.”

“So let’s stop giving him more ammunition,” Dick puts his hand on the doorknob. “Okay. On three.”

“We’re crime bosses, we shouldn’t be scared to piss of our own dad.”

“And yet here we are,” Damian reaches around Tim and jabs Jason in the ribs. “Let’s go.”

Dick counts down to three and opens the door, the five of them filing in, bookended by Alfred closing the doors behind them and going to take the tea tray from the small table next to the only occupied chair in the solar.

Bruce is sitting in a stiff backed arm chair, working on the crossword of the weekend paper, glasses perched on his nose.

As soon as the five of them have filed in and arranged themselves on the empty seats in the room he takes the glasses of his nose, folds the paper, and looks up at them.

“How was the wedding?”

“Hilarious,” Jason answers. “And awkward as fuck.”

“Did you have a nice time?”

“Can we cut the pleasantries?” Tim asks, watching as Damian and Cassandra arrange his crutches leaning them against the arm of the long, low sofa so that they don’t fall down. “I’m exhausted and I hate suits.”

“The bride and groom looked like a nice pair,” Dick says, ignoring Tim as he plays out the small talk, “Maybe a bit stressed, but that’s weddings for you.”

“The five of us talked and the results were frustrating,” Damian says, back ramrod straight as he takes his position between Tim and Cassandra on the sofa. “Did you know about this already?”

“Know about what already?”

“The multiple double crosses and alliances against us that led to the shoot out in front of city hall.”

“Ah, yes,” Bruce blinks, “I had wondered what you were going to do about it, I thought you were just giving them more time to make things exceptionally crushing when you finally got around to handling it. I already had a plan ready to put into motion, but as the five of you always remind me — you are adults capable of making their own decisions. I didn’t want to step on any toes.”

The five of them share a collective, internal, grimace. Of course he knew about it.

“But, since the five of you hadn’t made any moves I felt that perhaps a small suggestion would be forgiven.”

Less suggestion, more royal edict.

“What is your plan moving forward?”

“Well,” Dick turns to Tim.

Tim presses the heels of his palms to his eyes as he sighs, sounding tired, wan, and overall fed up with today.

“We’re going to starve them out. I’ll extend the legal and above board arm of W.E. to slowly pressure their business and make life hard for them. They’ll, inevitably, have to start turning towards their more dubious sources for assets. Jason and Cassandra are going to crack down on their increased illegal activity by  picking off their resources — convincing them to join people who are more like our people. Not by literally — no violence. Like you suggested. Dick’s going to keep them contained to Gotham using his various and sundry connections and whatever he does to convince people to do what he wants them to do, and Damian’s going to come down on whoever even looks at them sideways by giving them the face and using archaic language on them.”

“If you would read something that did not involve space shuttles or fire breathing reptiles you’d know that the words I use aren’t archaic.”

“Yeah, take a crack at ye olde Beowulf for archaic,” Jason muses, ruffling Damian’s hair and dodging the swipe at his hand, “Damian’s just posh.”

“Which businesses will you pressure?” Bruce asks, “How?”

“We can afford to take a hit on our shipping,” Tim says, “I don’t intend to make this a war of attrition. They don’t have our resources and they don’t have our reputation. They’ll panic, and they’ll make mistakes. It won’t take longer than a few months before I’ve gotten them desperate. I’ll start scheduling a series of sales and store remodels, sharp discounts — we’re coming up on some trademark renewal schedules. Perfect time to offload everything with our brand logos as we update them. I’ll use the brands that aren’t commonly remembered to belong to us. Our low end clothing lines, our store brand vitamins, things like that. They can’t launder money on schedule if there isn’t any excuse for the revenue to come in. Meanwhile, they also can’t be copying our trademarks and selling them at discount if we’re already doing it.”

“By the time they’ve figured out exactly who we’re planing on making them start living a minimalist style I’ll have begun scoping out their hands and convincing them into joining other gangs,” Jason says, “The muscle goes where the money goes.”

“And the loyalty of the family?”

“One family cannot stand against the five of us,” Dick says, “And by the time I’ve finished making sure everyone knows how upset we are with this one family that’s all they will be. One small family.”

“And their business partners?”

“If they are in the business of profit then they will see how unwise it is to be their business partners,” Damian says, “Or even be associated with that family name.”

Bruce nods thoughtfully. “Good.”

“Good,” Cassandra repeats back, nodding also as she abruptly stands. “I do not want to eat dinner in this suit.”

She goes over and kisses Bruce on the cheek and walks out the door.

“I don’t want to eat dinner in any kind of suit,” Jason says and follows after her, pausing at the door to glance at Tim. “You good, Replacement?”

“I’ll manage,” Tim says dryly, picking his crutches up. “Hold the door, would you? And give me back my car keys.”

“Again, it might be your car but you can’t drive it.”

Damian rolls his eyes, trailing after them with a momentary look at Dick and Bruce before sighing and leaving, shutting the door behind himself with a small click.

Dick crosses his arms, meeting Bruce’s gaze head on.

“You didn’t have a plan for this, did you?” Dick says.

Bruce smiles, slowly standing up as he walks towards the door.

“There was no right answer,” Dick continues. “You just wanted to see what we’d come up with.”

“There are never any answers, Dick,” Bruce says, gesturing for his eldest to leave first. “And the solution the five of you came up together is very clever. I’m proud you.”

Dick groans, “I hate it when you plot for us to get along and work together. I bet you knew that the five of us were getting played.”

“I know you do,” Bruce claps a hand to Dick’s back, “Don’t worry, sport, I only knew about the five of you getting circles run around you since the engagement. Before that I was just guessing.”

[h-eckers]

Interrogation

A/N: First time I’ve ever posted something I’ve written, so please go easy on me, but if you’ve got any tips for me feel free to let me know. I love me some feedback. (Sorry for any mistakes… it’s late.)

Summary: Jughead hasn't seen or heard from you in a while and he’s suspicious, but there’s a chance that’s not the only thing he’s feeling. 

Word Count: 2,359 (I have no self control.)

Warnings: ANGST but that’s it 

At first, Jughead Jones had been solely focused on his novel, after all, Jason Blossom hadn’t exactly been a friend of his. Now, looking across the booth at Betty, he had realised that this was far more connected to himself and his friends than he’d thought at first, and he wanted answers for his friend’s sake. Unfortunately, they were answers he wasn’t getting. He sighed and glanced out the window, wracking his brain for something to write, something he’d missed maybe. “You alright, Jug?” Betty spoke up, pulling him away from whatever he was thinking, he smiled tightly.

“Depends on your definition of ‘alright’.” He mumbled, scrolling back through the most recent pages of his novel, pulled up on his laptop screen. “I’m just trying to remember something.”

“What is the something you’re trying to remember?” Betty asked, furrowing her brow a little and chuckling.

“There’s got to be someone or something we’ve missed.” Jughead shrugged, eyes flicking between Betty and his laptop screen as he tried to force something to click, however, his train of thought was interrupted by Archie, sliding into the booth beside him and Veronica joining Betty on the opposite side.

“What are we working on?” Veronica asked, smiling and adjusting her position in her seat and nodding towards Jughead’s laptop, “Is this blue and gold stuff or novel stuff?”

“Neither and both.” Betty smiled a little and pulled on the sleeves of her sweater, “We’re trying to think of anyone we might have missed as a suspect, or just anyone who might know something.” Jughead nodded in agreement and closed over his laptop. Everyone fell silent for a few moments, Betty, Archie and Jughead all thinking of possible suspects while Veronica just tried to think of people she’d seen around school who seemed suspicious, it was her who spoke up first.

“I saw a girl today who looked a little weird, very 1996 ‘The Craft’, lots of black.” She shrugged a little, the other three shared a look of confusion, Veronica rolled her eyes. “Average height I guess, nice hair, she was actually a babe, don’t know how I missed her before.”

“Do you know her name? Anything else?” Archie asked, Jughead shuffled in closer to the table, partly so he could hear better and partly so no one else would.

“I know it can be difficult to remember a time before I was here, Archiekins, but I am relatively new to this place and I don’t know everyone yet.” She laughed a little and they did too, but the subject soon turned back to seriousness.

“Well, I don’t know, where did you see her?” Betty asked, trying to get whatever information she could.

“At school, but like I said, I haven’t seen her before today, like anywhere, not even around town.” Veronica smiled apologetically, she couldn’t really answer their questions but she thought it would be good to contribute, luckily for her, the next person who walked through the door of Pop’s would definitely be able to help, “Wait, that’s her, she just came in.” Veronica said quietly, everyone glanced in the direction of the door. Betty and Jughead looked back at each other a second later, wide eyed.

“Hey that’s Y/N isn’t it?” Archie asked, turning back to everyone.

“How did we forget her?!” Betty looked directly at Jughead and he shook his head.

“I have no idea, it seems so obvious now.” He rubbed his face in frustration, his thoughts racing. How did I miss that?

“Uhm, excuse me, new girl is lost.” Veronica stated, pointing at herself and trying to get some clarification.

“Y/N was one of Jason’s best friends. She hasn’t been at school since he went missing. I guess everyone just… forgot. It sounds rude but she wasn’t exactly popular.” Archie explained, glancing back at the girl ordering at the counter… you. “Now that I think about it she was basically the opposite of Jason, maybe that’s why they didn’t hang out as much at school. Weren’t you and her friends too, Jug?”

“I’m going to talk to her,” Jughead stated suddenly, ignoring Archie entirely, his eyes following as you moved away from the counter to sit down, “she has to know something.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Betty asked carefully, “She’s obviously not handling it very well.”

“Yes, and that combined with the fact that she hasn’t come back to school until today has me curious.” He shrugged and shut his laptop, tucking it away in his bag and pulling himself up to jump over the back of his seat.

You were sitting quietly, minding your own business as close to the counter as possible. It had been a while since you’d had the nerve to go anywhere at all, it wasn’t so much that he was gone, more so that you knew everyone would be looking at you and that would just be reminding you. “Hey, Y/N, haven’t seen you ‘round in a while.” You jumped at his sudden appearance but just smiled and nodded at his comment.

“Yeah, well, I guess I’ve just been readjusting.” You shrugged a little bit, “How have you been though, Jughead?” He was slightly taken off guard by the question, he hadn’t really expected you to be so open to talking to him, and he certainly didn’t expect you to be so nice.

“Fine, I suppose, busy.” He said, sitting down across from you, “I know it’s been a while since we’ve spoken but how are you doing? With Jason and all that?” Your face fell almost instantly and you let out a long and heavy sigh, glancing down at the table top for a minute. You might have disappeared for a while, but he had been something of a friend to you and at least you believed you could trust Jughead.

“Not great, but I’m getting there. I’m back at school now.” You said, “I missed you though, I heard you were writing for the blue and gold, that’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, yeah, it is.” He brushed it off quickly, “But anyway, I can imagine how upset you must have been, about everything. Is that why you didn’t come back to school?”

“Well, obviously… why are you asking?” You narrowed your eyes a little and shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Jughead would be lying if he said he came over just to find out about you and Jason, that was definitely a big part of it but he couldn’t lie to himself and say that he didn’t want to talk to you as well. You were his friend after all, and you did leave without a word.

“I don’t know, you have to admit, it’s a little odd that you disappeared right after he did and didn’t come back until after he was found dead in a river. No one’s seen you, I know I haven’t.” he smiled tightly and you swallowed back the lump in your throat, searching for the right words.

“You think I had something to do with it?” you asked, finally choosing one question out of the millions you wanted to ask.

“Well I can’t say it doesn’t seem that way.” He shrugged, he seemed so cold towards you. You weren’t used to it and you hated it, you also didn’t feel like you deserved it.

“Why are you being like this, Jug? Aren’t we friends?” your voice was quiet, you couldn’t force it to be much more. If there was one person left in the world that you cared about it was him, after Jason he was your closest friend, and not that he realised, but he meant even more to you than that.

“I thought we were, but apparently not. Considering you vanished and didn’t feel the need to tell me, or answer any of the calls or messages from me for that matter.” He leaned back in his seat while you tried to form a response to that. At first it upset you, after a moment of that it just made you angry.

“Yeah, well, my best friend died so I was a little preoccupied.” You stared him down, and he started right back, you expected nothing less. Your order was called but you stayed seated looking at Jughead.

“Right, and how was Jason the last time you saw him? Anything weird?” he asked coldly, you scoffed and rolled your eyes, getting up.

“I’ll see you around, Jughead.” you got up from your seat and went to grab your order, leaving Pop’s straight away. You didn’t live too far away and so you had thought it would be a good idea to walk, it was a nice night, you were regretting that decision now as you heard the door of the diner open and close behind you. You picked up your pace.

“So does that mean no, or that you won’t tell me.” He asked, catching up to you quickly and keeping pace, even though you sped up.

“Maybe it’s both, but either way it’s none of your business.” You snapped back at him, clutching your food tightly in frustration.

“Right, so you weren’t at Sweet Water River on July 4th then?” he seemed casual, so casual that it made your blood boil, you were so angry you didn’t notice that he wasn’t casual at all, in fact he was barely holding in anger of his own. You sped up again, walking so fast now you might as well be jogging. You stayed quiet. So did he… for a minute, “So that’s a yes.” You ignore him, entirely, you just kept your head down and kept walking towards home. Jughead kept talking, asking questions that were obviously accusing you and you blocked it out as best you could, just wanting to get home.

It was when you reached your front yard that he said it, out of nowhere, “Did you kill him?” It didn’t even seem like a question and even as the words left his lips he felt like he’d gone too far, you turned on your heel instantly and glared at him.

“Is this actually about Jason, or is it about you? Because your little interrogation seems pretty passive aggressive.” You barked at him, “Actually, it’s just aggressive and I don’t know what got into you and I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken to you in a while but I lost my best friend, you aren’t exactly my priority right now. That doesn’t mean I doesn’t mean I stopped caring about you but Jason is gone and there’s this huge hole he left and I am trying not to go insane, I came back to school because I figured it would be easier if… if I could see you. I guess that you don’t have the same idea, but the least you can do is not make it worse.”

Jughead paused, he struggled for a minute to find the right words which was rare. He faltered, if he was being honest, it was more about him than it was Jason, he knew you couldn’t have killed him, maybe you did know something but mainly he was just upset that you left him behind. Especially when Archie ditched him, he wanted to help you but he needed you as well and you weren’t there. Maybe that was selfish, but he couldn’t help the anger, just like he couldn’t help the guilt he was feeling right now.

“You could have at least messaged.” He said, letting the questioning stop just for a minute, his expression dropping.

“I’m sorry,” You said quietly, “but I didn’t have anything to do with Jason. The last time I saw him we fought, it was a screaming match and I was only trying to help but he couldn’t see that, so maybe it’s my fault it happened, maybe I’m the reason he left, but I didn’t hurt him. I only wanted to help him.”

There was a moment where all he wanted to do was hug her, a moment where he forgot how angry he was and just saw his friend in pain, the guilty feeling in his chest just got heavier and he was already wishing he hadn’t said anything, wishing he’d just let her come to him at school and everything might be okay but it was a bit late for that now.

“I didn’t mean to-“you cut him off before he could finish, you knew him, you knew what he was going to say.

“Yes you did, you were angry and I get it.” You sighed and shuffled awkwardly, scratching the back of your neck.

“I should go.” He cleared his throat, all of his anger was gone and he was left with guilt and sadness, he missed you, that’s why he was angry, and now he was sure that you wouldn’t come back to him. He wouldn’t either if he was in your position.

“Yeah, I’ll see you at school.” You mumbled, turning away from him and walking up towards your house in silence.

Jughead walked back in the direction of Pop’s slowly, regretting every decision he’d made in the past half an hour, he’d been angry that shed ignored him and because of that he’d driven her away completely. He walked back inside and wandered back over to the booth, sitting down as Archie shuffled over.

“So?” Veronica asked almost immediately. Betty leaned forward in her seat and Archie turned to Jughead. He shrugged.

“I didn’t really find out much, apparently she was fighting with him the last time she saw him.” He said simply, Betty took that and ran with it, conversation sparked between Betty, Archie ad Veronica. Jughead stayed silent. A few moments passed before his phone buzzed in his pocket, he sighed softly and pulled it out, checking the message under the table. He stared for a long moment, he didn’t notice the conversation die down around him.

“Why are you smiling like that?” Archie asked, smirking a little, Jughead shrugged, still smiling at his phone.

               ‘Is it too late for that message?’ – Y/N

“No reason.” He mumbled, quickly typing out a reply.

               ‘Not at all.’ – Jughead

[fortheloveofpearlet]

Wilting Flowers - Pearlet [Chapter 1]

Ok, here we go, this is the Wild Flowers sequel (find the masterpost here). Set two years later (imagine Wild Flowers was set in 2014). Credit for the header once again goes to my best friend because she is so much better at making them than I am. This isn’t just based around Jason and Matt, the whole reason I needed to write a sequel was to look into the lives of all the queens from the basement before and after they ended up there. Present day stuff is all in third person and it goes back and forth between POV’s, years and states so I hope this isn’t too confusing. I really hope you enjoy this, I have literally poured my heart into this!

Chapter contains - abuse, homophobia, some Trixya hints and Thorcid 

Chapter 1

/// Present Day - Tuesday, 2.46 pm

They'd all given their statements, they'd all had to stand up there and face Santino and recount to the jury what had happened to them. Some had re-laid their experiences with a stony facade, as though telling a fictional story of something that had happened to someone else. Others had broken down in the stand, some had clammed up the moment they'd laid eyes on their tormentor. It had been a draining few days for them all though. Now there was nothing left to do but wait. They were all gathered in a small room while the jury deliberated. They weren't supposed to discuss the case and that was ok by most of them. None of them really had anything to say to these other men. They just had to make it through this and then they could all go back to their lives. They all knew it wouldn't be that easy though. What they didn't know, was that these few days would change everything. And maybe change was what they all so sorely needed. 

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/// Shane Galligan - Brooklyn, 2002

I hurried across campus towards his dorm room. Today had felt like the longest day ever. I don't know what it was about today that made me more desperate than normal to see him. There was something about today that felt finite, I felt like I had to see him now. There was something in my gut that told me I had to get to him. I can't explain it, all I know is that something didn't feel right. I threw open the door to his building and took the stairs two at a time. I was a little out of breath by the time I made it to his door. I adjusted my glasses before I knocked, I wonder if he noticed the urgency in my knock. I barely had to wait a second before the door flung open, it was as though he'd been waiting right by it for me. Jamin's large expressive blue eyes conveyed some sort of sadness and I was about to ask him what was wrong when he threw his arms around me and pulled me into the small dorm room. He held me tight, burying his head into my chest desperately. I held him, that feeling that something was awry only heightened by the embrace. Jamin held me so tight, tighter than he'd ever held me before. I knew it meant my gut instinct had been right. I didn't want to know what was wrong, not just yet. I wanted just another few seconds of bliss with the man I loved. I stroked his back and I heard him exhale heavily. This was so unlike Jamin. For as long as I'd known him, which was going back some six years now, he'd always been the strong one of the two of us. Jamin had always been my rock, my superhero; it was very rarely the other way around. It scared me a little when Jamin was like this, and I knew him well enough to know by the way he was holding me that something was wrong. We stayed in our embrace for several long minutes, as though we were in some kind of bubble that was going to burst as soon as the hug ended. Eventually Jamin looked up at me through those eyes of his that I fell in love with so many years ago and continue to fall in love with every time I look into them. They were sad, Jamin's eyes were very rarely sad. 

'Baby,' he croaked, sounding as though he'd just woken up. He stepped back to look at me properly and my arms felt suddenly so empty without him in them. 

'Yes sweetie?' My own voice was croaky too. He reached out and cupped my cheek.

'I have to leave.' 

I have to leave. I repeated Jamin's words over inside my head as my brows furrowed in a frown. What did that mean? Leave what? College? Me? That sentence could mean so many different things but I knew none of them were good. He let go of my cheek as he watched my confusion spread across my face.

'Leave?' Saying the word of loud made my stomach turn. Jamin nodded and ran his fingers over the shaved sides of his head.

'Here. This place. I'm dropping out of school.' 

I felt like my body had been frozen when he said those words. I felt like I couldn't move a single inch even if I tried. It was as though his words had turned me to stone.

'You're....you're leaving.' I managed to exhale. 'I don't understand.' 

'My parents called. Dad said if I didn't stop, in his words, messing around with that hippy kid, they aren't paying my tuition anymore.'

That hippy kid. That wasn't the first time I'd heard that from the delightful Mr and Mrs Ruhren. I'm sure they probably called me a lot worse behind my back. Despite the amount of times I've told that I'm not a hippy to which it would elicit the response, well how else do you explain that hair? It's not like my own parents were any more accepting, but at least they didn't call Jamin such things. They just refused to use the term boyfriend. Jamin was just my 'friend' that's what they told everyone. Not my boyfriend, my partner, or love of my life. My friend. Because of course there was no way their precious Shane was gay. You would have thought that by now they would be used to Jamin and me being together, but no. We met in my first week at school when I was just twelve. I'd been being bullied in the playground, Jamin who was a year older and had always been broad chased the bullies away like a real life knight in shining armour. For years it was just a close friendship, I looked up to Jamin, practically hung off his every word. But as we grew older and we both started to realise we were gay, our friendship grew into something more. We were each other's firsts, in every way. First and only. We told our parents years ago but they had never been happy about it. We both come from heavily religious families who couldn't accept their sons were gay. My parents mostly turned a blind eye to it and ignored it as much as they could. Jamin's parents were actively against our relationship from the word go. Jamin had started college last year but stayed in Brooklyn to be close to me and then I joined him in the fall. Since starting college things had felt easier. We have our own dorms so we can be together without our parents trying to keep us apart for the first time. But apparently the Ruhren's were still up to their old tricks.

'What? They can't do that. That's not fair.' I finally spoke up stepping a little closer to Jamin. Jamin's eyes were the saddest I'd ever seen them. Throughout our entire relationship whenever I got down because our parents didn't accept our relationship, Jamin was always the one that would hold me and kiss me and tell me everything's going to be ok baby, I swear. He was the strong one, not me. I'm not sure I know how to be the strong one. But it looked like I was going to have to try. 

'When have my parents ever cared about being fair?' He sounded defeated. I had to try and fight it.

'You can't do this Jam, just tell them we aren't together anymore. We'll just have to pretend we broke up or something. I know it's not ideal but-' I was silenced by Jamin stepping closer to me and putting his finger to my lips. He was shaking his head, on his tip toes a little as I'm much taller than him.

'No.' He removed his finger and then cupped my face with both hands. 'I love you Shane, I'm not hiding that. If they don't like this then that's their problem. But I am not hiding us. I would rather drop out of college and have them hate me than have to hide you.' He gently kissed my lips and I felt myself melting. He always had that effect on me. 

'They shouldn't make you choose like that. I can't let you just drop out of school, not because of me.' 

He was still holding my face and it made me feel less like I wanted to vomit. Only a little though.

'It's not because of you Shane. This is their doing, and if they're going to be like this then so be it.' Jamin shrugged and let go of my face. 'I have an old friend in Boston, he's giving me a place to crash.'

'Boston?' I surprised myself when I raised my voice. 'You can't move to Boston!' 

'It's only temporary baby.' He took hold of my shoulders now as he could tell I was going to get mad. 'What else can I do? I have nowhere else to go.' 

I looked intently in his eyes for several long minutes as I weighed up my options. I could stay in Brooklyn without the love of my life, finish college and be miserable. Or I could do the exact opposite. The decision really was an easy one.

'I'm coming with you.' 

Jamin frowned a little, removing his hands from my shoulders.

'No Shane, you can't drop out too. Not because of me.'

'I'm coming with you.' I repeated stubbornly. 'I can re-enrol next year at a college in Boston or something. I am not losing you Jam, I'm just not. We've worked too hard to get where we are today. I am not letting you go.' It was my turn to grab hold of him now, pulling him closer to me. I hooked my hands around the back of his neck.

'Are you sure about this baby?' He whispered softly.

'I've never been surer of anything in my entire life. Where you go, I go. It's as simple as that. I am not losing you, not now and not ever.' 

Jamin smiled at me now and I'm not sure there would ever be a day that man's smile didn't make me go a little giddy. He kissed me softly and squeezed my side. 

'You and me against the world baby.' He whispered.

'Forever and ever.' I smiled.

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/// Present Day - Tuesday, 3.15 pm

Shane looked up shyly and his eyes instantly met Jamin's. Jamin gave him a slightly sad smile and even though he was sitting down, Shane felt his knees go weak. That damn smile. That damn smile he'd been in love with for what felt like an entire lifetime. But so much had changed. Too much had changed. Their forever was cut all too short because of things out of their control. Shane still missed him like crazy though; he wondered if there would ever be a day he didn't. But they couldn't work through all the stuff that had happened to them. Jamin had shut down. He'd pushed Shane away. And seeing him again now after all this time was ripping Shane's heart in two, as though it was the day Jamin left him all over again. 

 Jason watched them looking at each other across the room. The two men he'd been taught to fear for so long. It was strange now, seeing them here, they didn't seem quite as scary as he once thought. Of course he still harboured resentment towards them, he'd lost count of the beatings he'd had from Acid and Thorgy in his time in the basement. He'd thought they were the bad guys. He'd had no idea. He'd never seen that look in their eyes that they had now as they looked at each other. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he looked up and his eyes met Matt's. Matt half-smiled at him.

'You ok pumpkin?' He whispered so his voice didn't echo around the still room. Jason swallowed and bit his lip.

'Yeah, I'm fine.' He forced a smile. Of course he wasn't fine, how could he be? Jason hadn't been fine since the day he'd stepped off that greyhound bus almost three years ago. But he didn't want to tell Matt that. There seemed to be a lot he didn't tell Matt these days. He looked away from the older man now back at Shane who was now looking back down in his lap. Jamin was looking at the wall again. A small cough from the corner of the room caught Jason's attention. Trixie covered his mouth in embarrassment as several of the men turned to look at him. He looked shaken, more so than Jason had ever seen him. It was only now he was really realising that he wasn't the only one suffering from the weight of all of this. He wasn't as alone as he'd thought. But why did it feel that way?

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/// Brian Firkus - Milwaukee, 2012

Bright lights. Applause. All eyes on me. High heels. Platinum blonde wig. Contour for days. Move my lips in time. Wiggle my hips just right. They can't handle all of this. Not shy, introverted and insecure Brian Firkus. No, I left him at home. The person they are all here for? The beautiful, bubbly Barbie Doll that goes by the name of Trixie Mattel. The dollar bills rained down on the small stage and I fluttered my false eyelashes, bent down so as to show off my ass that was padded for the heavens and collected them. I stuffed them inside my bra and winked at the crowd, eliciting wolf whistles. One of Milwaukee's only gay bar, our secret hide out. The one place on this earth I feel at home. The only place I've ever been able to truly be myself and to not only be accepted for it, I'm adored for it. I took my final bows, collected the last of my tips and sauntered off stage. I went straight to the bar and ordered a drink without bothering to de-drag. The thing is, being in drag is the only way I feel confident. As soon as the make-up's stripped back, the wig is gone and I'm back in boy clothes I become a shell of myself; or a shell of Trixie I suppose. So I like to make the most of this time, my happy time, before things inevitably come crumbling down again. Little did I know they were going to come crumbling down quicker than I expected.

 I was about three drinks down, chatting to a couple of the gorgeous men that had come to see my show when there was a strong hand on my shoulder. I turned with a smile on my face, thinking it would be someone coming to tell me what a good job I'd done but my smile quickly faded when I came face to face with the older man. His eyes were dark, they always were when he looked at me and I could see that thick vein in his neck pulsating. Suddenly I was Brian again, despite the drag. One look in his eyes and Trixie was gone. I knew this was going to be bad.

'We're leaving.' He told me in a much calmer manner than I expected. There wasn't any arguing with him, I knew this by now. He'd followed me. He'd found my safe place and he was about to destroy it. I swallowed hard and nodded. I collected my things from backstage and followed him to his car without even having a chance to get out of drag. It didn't matter. Trixie was dead now. The car ride was deathly silent and I tried to mentally prepare myself for what was going to come. 

 Once we were home and stood on opposite ends of the living room I started feeling extremely uncomfortable about the fact I was still in drag. He was looking at me with more disgust than usual. I'd been doing such a good job of keeping Trixie a secret and it had all come crashing down in one night. 

'What the fuck is this Brian? Look at yourself for Christ sakes! No self-respecting man should be gallivanting around dressed like that! When will you ever learn? God you're such a fucking trixie, no wonder your real dad didn't want anything to do with you!' 

I'd long ago learned to let his comments go over my head. It wasn't his comments that were going to hurt. No, the pain was about to come. He launched himself at me, and I just curled up into a ball and took it. Punches. Kicks. Homophobic slurs. It was all kind of a blur. I tried to go to my happy place in my head, on stage winning over another crowd, as the beating rained down on me. Trixie wouldn't take this. Trixie would stand up for herself, to tell this monster to leave her the fuck alone and probably get in a few punches in herself. But not Brian. Brian just laid there and took it. And as my tears started to fall down my cheeks, with them, Trixie started to wash away.

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/// Present Day - Tuesday, 3.52 pm

Brian briefly made eye contact with Jason who was watching him sadly. Only briefly. Jason watched him shyly look away again and look at the floor. He hadn't said a single word to anyone all day. The others had exchanged stifled hellos but Brian had stayed silent. What had happened to him in the basement was just the tip of the iceberg of his fucked up life. He'd didn't believe he was worth anything anymore; how could he? He'd gone from the clutches of one tormentor straight to another. How was he supposed to lead a normal life after that? He'd tried, god he'd tried so hard these last two years to just be fucking normal. But his life had never been normal. Just then the door creaked open and detective McCook walked in. All the eyes in the room were on him but he was focused on one man in particular. He cautiously made his way over to the younger Brian's side and crouched down next to him. He put his hand on his leg but he didn't seem to notice. Jason watched the detective whisper something to him but the younger man didn't even look as though he registered it. In fact, completely ignoring him all together Brian stood up and walked straight passed the detective towards the door and left without making eye contact with anyone. Detective McCook sighed and stood up running his fingers through his hair. Jason saw his gaze wander a little above his head and he smiled softly and gently waved at Matt who was stood behind him. It had been a while since the old friends had seen each other. They'd stayed in touch when Matt moved to Atlanta with Jason but this was their first time back in New York. If he were honest, Jason couldn't wait to leave again. He saw Brian nod his head towards the door and then he felt Matt's hand on his shoulder again.

'Will you be ok for a minute while I talk to Brian?' He whispered in Jason's ear. Jason looked at him through vacant eyes.

'Why wouldn't I be?' And then he looked away from Matt again. Matt sighed and shook his head before following Brian towards the door. They stepped out into the corridor, the younger Brian nowhere to be seen. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Brian pulled Matt into a hug.

'God it's been so long.' Brian stroked his friends back.

'Yeah it really has. How have you been?' Matt stepped back to look at him.

'You know, same old. How's Jason doing?' 

Matt sighed again and ran his fingers through his hair.

'Not great.' He confessed. 'He's barely said two words to me since we've been back. Since he got the letter about the court date he's been so distant. He barely looks at me, flinches when I try and touch him. Things aren't good right now.' Matt told him honestly. 'What about Bri?'

It was Brian's turn to sigh.

'The same as Jason. This is so hard on them, I can't even begin to imagine. But he's shutting me out, he's pushing me away and I don't know what to do about it.' 

'I thought this was all over. Why could that guy not have just done us all a favour and died?' Matt grumbled. 'I hate seeing Jason like this. And there is nothing I can say or do to make it better. I feel so powerless.' A small tear rolled down his cheek. Brian reached and grasped his shoulder.

'I know.' He whispered. 'Things have got to get better though right?' 

Matt sniffed and bit his lip. 

'I think he's going to leave me.' Matt sniffed again, desperate not to start crying here. Brian kept his hand on his shoulder.

'What? Don't say that, it's just a hard time right now.' Brian tried to comfort his friend.

'He's going to leave me Brian, I can feel it. The way he keeps looking at me is like he can't even stand to be near me. We haven't had sex in months, he's been sleeping on the couch. He keeps telling me he doesn't think he can do this anymore.' Matt looked sadly at his friend. 'I can't lose him Brian. He is my whole world. At first I was the one he turned to, when he had a nightmare and woke up in the middle of the night crying and scared he would throw himself into my arms and I would comfort him. But recently he doesn't even talk to me. I'm so scared I'm going to lose him Brian, I don't know what to do.' He sniffed again, shaking his head.

'He went through a lot Matt, they all did. This has come completely out of the blue, no one ever thought Santino would wake up from that coma let alone be fit to stand trial. It's been two years and now they've all had to come back to the city where it all started for most of them and look the man in the eyes responsible for what happened to them; a man that kidnapped them and brought them into a world of human trafficking. And they have been brought back together with all the people that remind them of what it was like living in that basement. Jason's scared Matt, this must be fucking horrible for him. But I'm sure once it's all over and the two of you can go back to Atlanta things will get better.' Brian tried to comfort him. Matt sighed heavily.

'Do you really think so?' He asked. Brian half smiled at him.

'God I hope so Matt. I really fucking hope so.' 

[usatrendingsports]

NFL teaching tracker 2018: Updates, newest information and rumors on firings and hires

If we have realized one factor about NFL house owners over the previous few years, it is that they do not waste anytime anymore on the subject of firing a coach. 

5 head coaches got their pink slips inside 24 hours of the tip of the common season, with a sixth deciding to name it a profession out within the desert. Will Brinson has all of the winners and losers from the primary day of the teaching carousel in his Black Monday scorecard.

To maintain you recent on the newest firings, rumors and hirings, this is our teaching tracker for the 2018 offseason. 

AFC

Baltimore Ravens

Retired: Defensive coordinator Dean Pees calls it a profession Promoted: Wink Martindale takes over DC function

Dean Pees has been teaching in some kind or one other since 1979. He labored his approach up from the Division II Findley Oilers to the NFL, the place he is been teaching since 2004. He labored as a linebackers coach after which defensive coordinator for the New England Patriots, then did the identical factor for the Baltimore Ravens. On Monday, he introduced his retirement. 

Pees was the fourth coach to function defensive coordinator underneath John Harbaugh, following Rex Ryan, Greg Mattison, and Chuck Pagano. The fifth will likely be Don “Wink” Martindale, who was promoted from his function as linebackers coach.

Cincinnati Bengals

Staying: Marvin Lewis will get new contract with Bengals

Though it had been reported since mid-December that Marvin Lewis was finished in Cincinnati, it seems to be like he’ll keep. Lewis and the crew have agreed to phrases on a brand new two-year deal that can maintain him with the Bengals by way of the 2019 season. It is considerably shocking that he is staying, however not completely stunning. Lewis spent the previous three weeks claiming that no choice had been made and that was clearly the case right here. 

After watching the Bengals shut their common season on a two-game successful streak, Lewis confirmed as much as his end-of-season press convention on Monday and gave the impression of a man who was very interested by staying. One in all his first strikes was changing defensive coordinator Paul Guenther, who took the identical function with Oakland, with former Lions defensive coordinator Teryl Austin.

Cleveland Browns

Report: Hue Jackson is secure

Browns proprietor Jimmy Haslam already promised Hue Jackson that he can be returning for 2018, and he appears to be standing by that promise. After the Browns misplaced to the Steelers 28-24 on Sunday to fall to Zero-16, Haslam as soon as once more reiterated his help for Jackson, who’s now 1-31 in two years with the Browns.

#Browns proprietor Jimmy Haslam mentioned he TOLD new GM John Dorsey that Hue Jackson would return as head coach, that there was no debate. Says, “I do not suppose Hue has misplaced (his) magic.”

— Aditi Kinkhabwala (@AKinkhabwala) December 31, 2017

The one query now’s whether or not or not Haslam truly sticks to his phrase over the following few days. With the hiring of recent common supervisor John Dorsey, it would not be a shock to see Dorsey persuade Haslam that it could make far more sense for Dorsey to rent his personal coach.

Denver Broncos

Secure: Vance Joseph staying in Denver

Though the Broncos had given some thought to dumping Joseph after only one season, common supervisor John Elway has determined to maintain Joseph round for at the very least yet one more season. CBS Sports activities NFL Insider Jason La Canfora reported that Elway “went backwards and forwards on the choice” earlier than ultimately making the decision to maintain Joseph on Monday. Joseph’s first season with the Broncos ended with a 5-11 file, however it’s onerous in charge him for that, particularly when you think about that he was given a roster that does not actually function an NFL-caliber beginning quarterback. The argument for firing Joseph was that the Broncos had been downright dangerous in a number of video games this yr. The Broncos had 4 losses by 20 or extra factors in 2017, which is greater than the Zero-16 Browns, who’ve solely misplaced one recreation by 20 or extra factors.

Houston Texans

Report: Invoice O’Brien is at odds with common supervisor Rick Smith, however will keep in Houston for 2018

Though Invoice O’Brien and Rick Smith reportedly have a “poisonous” relationship, that does not seem like it should be a difficulty going ahead. The Texans introduced on Sunday that Smith will likely be taking a leave of absence to assist take care of his spouse, who was not too long ago identified with breast most cancers. With Smith out of the image for now, the Houston Chronicle stories that O’Brien will “definitely” be returning to the Texans in 2018. That is excellent news for Deshaun Watson, who recently made it clear in a tweet that he needs the crew carry O’Brien again subsequent season. 

Indianapolis Colts

Fired: Chuck Pagano is out In: Josh McDaniels a digital lock to take over in Indy

Josh McDaniels is a digital lock be the following coach of the Indianapolis Colts, CBS Sports activities NFL insider Jason La Canfora stories. The Colts had been the primary crew to interview McDaniels throughout this flip of the teaching carousel, and regardless of the Titans turning into a shock entry into the teaching market on Monday, the Patriots offensive coordinator will take the reins in Indianapolis as soon as New England’s playoff run is over.

The Colts fired earlier coach Chuck Pagano lower than 90 minutes after the crew’s Week 17 win over the Texans.

Kansas Metropolis Chiefs

Promoted: Eric Bieniemy takes over as OC

After the Chiefs misplaced Matt Nagy to the Bears as Andy Reid’s offensive coordinator bolted for a possibility to function Chicago’s head coach, the Chiefs rapidly moved to fill his place, selling working backs coach Eric Bieniemy to the OC function.

“I’ve identified Eric a very long time, each as a participant and a coach,” Reid mentioned in a press release. “He is finished an outstanding job with our working backs and has been concerned in each side of our offense over the past 5 years. He is an important instructor and has earned this chance. I do know he’ll do a very good job.” 

Bieniemy coached the working backs in Minnesota from 2006-10, working intently with Adrian Peterson. He then spent two years because the offensive coordinator for Colorado on the collegiate stage earlier than returning to the NFL to educate the Chiefs working backs for the previous 5 seasons.

Oakland Raiders

Fired: Jack Del Rio is out Employed: Jon Gruden indicators huge deal to educate Raiders

One yr after ending the Raiders’ 13-season playoff drought, Jack Del Rio has already been kicked to the curb. After the Raiders’ 30-10 loss to the Chargers on Sunday, Del Rio introduced that he is been fired and in one thing that got here as a shock to utterly nobody, Jon Gruden has been employed to switch him. 

To lure Gruden out of the ESPN broadcast sales space, the Raiders gave him a 10-year deal that will likely be price as much as $100 million. Though the Gruden rent makes loads of sense for the Raiders, there is not any assure that it should work out. Gruden has coached since 2008 and hasn’t received a playoff recreation since main the Buccaneers to a win in Tremendous Bowl XXXVII. 

Tennessee Titans

Employed: Mike Vrabel takes the reins in Tennessee

After the Titans shockingly did an about face on their choice to retain Mike Mularkey, the crew settled on a brand new head coach lower than every week after their playoff loss to the Patriots: Texans defensive coordinator Mike Vrabel.

Vrabel’s had a meteoric stand up the teaching ranks, retiring from the NFL after the 2010 season and instantly leaping into teaching. He labored underneath City Meyer at Ohio State (his alma mater) from 2011 by way of 2013 as each the linebackers and line of defense coach with Ohio State earlier than leaping to the NFL. 

The previous All-Professional linebacker and three-time Tremendous Bowl winner joined the Houston Texans teaching workers because the linebackers coach — along with his former defensive coordinator Romeo Crennel — in 2014 serving in that function till this yr when he was promoted to defensive coordinator (Crennel was bumped to assistant head coach underneath Invoice O’Brien).

“Every little thing we do goes to be geared in the direction of successful and being bodily,” Vrabel mentioned in a press release asserting the rent. “We wish to put together our gamers in order that they know what to do, which is able to permit them to play quick and aggressive.”

NFC

Arizona Cardinals

Sundown: Bruce Arians calls it a profession

After a extremely profitable teaching profession with the Cardinals, Bruce Arians is prepared for retirement. Arians introduced his choice to stroll away in an understandably emotional press convention on Monday.

“The tears you see are actually tears of pleasure and peace. I’ll miss the gamers. I’ll miss popping out of the locker room, listening to the nationwide anthem, as a result of it nonetheless will get me.” – Bruce Arians

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) January 1, 2018

Arians has had some well being scares over time — together with two hospital journeys in 2016 — which could have performed a think about his choice to retire. CBS Sports activities NFL Insider Jason La Canfora reported in early December that Arians was leaning towards retirement and that the crew started making “inner preparations” for his departure on the time. 

Chicago Bears

Fired: John Fox is out Prolonged: Ryan Tempo stays as GM Employed: Matt Nagy is the brand new head coach in Chicago

After three straight seasons of not topping the six-win mark, the Bears have lastly had sufficient of John Fox. Though the crew dumped Fox, they determined to carry on to common supervisor Ryan Tempo, who was given a four-year extension on Jan. 1, which now provides him the chance to proceed constructing his imaginative and prescient of a winner in Chicago regardless of posting a 14-34 file over the past three seasons.

The primary choice Tempo made underneath his new deal was the hiring of Nagy because the crew’s new coach. The upcoming season will mark Nagy’s first yr as a NFL head coach. Earlier than signing on with the Bears, Nagy served as an offensive coordinator (2016-17) and quarterbacks coach in Kansas Metropolis (2013-15). Earlier than that, Nagy labored with the Eagles, the place he held varied jobs since first being employed by the crew in 2008. 

Dallas Cowboys

Report: Jason Garrett is not going wherever

Until Jerry Jones has a sudden change of coronary heart, it seems to be like Jason Garrett’s job is secure in Dallas. Throughout a radio interview the day after Christmas, the Cowboys proprietor mentioned that he can be holding Garrett for the 2018 season. “I definitely know loads about Jason Garrett. Due to that, I can rapidly and candidly say his job is just not a difficulty right here, in any respect,” Jones mentioned on Tuesday. “It isn’t in one of the best curiosity of the Cowboys to be contemplating a training change.”

Contemplating every little thing that Garrett needed to take care of this yr — from the accidents to the Ezekiel Elliott state of affairs — it is no shock that Garrett is sticking round, particularly when you think about that the Cowboys are coming off a 13-Three season in 2016. 

Detroit Lions

Fired: Jim Caldwell is out In: Matt Patricia anticipated to be subsequent Lions coach

Matt Patricia is a digital lock to be the following coach of the Detroit Lions, CBS Sports activities NFL insider Jason La Canfora stories.

Patricia, 43, has served because the Patriots defensive coordinator for the final six seasons, and in every New England completed within the high 10 in factors allowed. That features 2017, a season the place the Patriots took a variety of warmth for a protection that gave up loads of yardage however nonetheless completed fifth in factors allowed.

Patricia will be part of a Lions crew with a well-recognized face on the personnel facet basically supervisor Bob Quinn, who spent 16 years within the Patriots group earlier than being employed by the Lions two years in the past. Patricia will likely be taking on for Jim Caldwell, who went 36-28 in 4 seasons with the Lions that included two journeys to the playoffs and three years above .500.

Inexperienced Bay Packers

Stories: Packers make change at GM, defensive coordinator

It hasn’t been formally introduced simply but, however longtime Packers DC Dom Capers was fired following the crew’s Week 17 recreation, in line with ESPN’s Rob Demovsky.

Packers defensive coordinator Dom Capers was fired following Sunday evening’s loss at Detroit, per a supply. There will likely be different modifications among the many defensive teaching workers to comply with. https://t.co/h6zqb2niJf

— Rob Demovsky (@RobDemovsky) January 1, 2018

Capers had been with the crew since 2009, however the Packers had not ranked inside the highest 10 in yards or factors allowed since his second season as coordinator. The Inexperienced Bay protection struggled with accidents the final couple seasons, however the crew apparently feels that it is time to change the voice giving the directions on that facet of the ball.

Whereas that information was large popping out of Inexperienced Bay, the report that GM Ted Thompson would transition to a distinct function in a front-office shakeup was monumental for a corporation that has been one of the conservative in soccer. Thompson, the person who drafted Aaron Rodgers, started his run because the crew’s GM in 2005.

With Thompson out of the GM function, the Packers determined to shake up the construction of the personnel division. Brian Gutekunst has been named common supervisor, with Russ Ball being promoted to government vice chairman/director of soccer operations. Each males, together with coach Mike McCarthy, will report on to crew president and CEO Mark Murphy.

New York Giants

In: Pat Shurmur anticipated to take over for Giants

It seems new Giants common supervisor Dave Gettleman has settled on his first head teaching rent, as Vikings offensive coordinator Pat Shurmur is anticipated to be named Giants head coach after his present crew’s playoff run is over, CBS Sports activities NFL insider Jason La Canfora stories.

Shurmur, 52, spent two seasons in Cleveland in 2011-12, guiding the Browns to a 9-23 file. He served because the offensive coordinator of the Eagles for the following three years and coached the crew on an interim foundation for one recreation in 2015 after Chip Kelly was fired. Shurmur then joined the Vikings as tight ends coach in 2016 however was promoted to interim offensive coordinator, changing Norv Turner midseason. He reprised that function this season, main an offense centered round much less heralded gamers like Case Keenum and Adam Theilen for a lot of the season.  

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Report: Dirk Koetter is not going wherever

Though there had been rumors that Jon Gruden is likely to be a candidate for this job, it seems to be like Koetter will certainly be sticking round for at the very least yet one more season. The household that owns the Bucs instructed Koetter on Friday that he’ll be retained for at the very least the 2018 season. In response to NFL.com, the Bucs went after Gruden and got rebuffed, which is probably going why they gave Koetter a vote of confidence out of nowhere on Friday. 

Washington Redskins

Report: Jay Gruden’s job is secure 

One crew that will not be on the lookout for a brand new head coach this offseason is the Washington Redskins. In response to NFL.com, the Redskins plan on keeping Gruden going ahead. In fact, the draw back of this for Gruden is that he’ll probably open the 2018 season on the recent seat. Since taking on the Redskins’ job in 2014, he is posted a 28-34-1 file with one playoff look, though he has needed to take care of the annual offseason drama that the Kirk Cousins state of affairs has was. If, for some cause, Redskins proprietor Daniel Snyder had been to alter his thoughts and dump Gruden, the Redskins coach would immediately develop into a high candidate for the Bengals’ job. 

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Why Ken Hitchcock returned to coaching with Dallas Stars

Dallas Stars newly hired NHL hockey team head coach Ken Hitchcock smiles during a news conference in Dallas, Thursday, April 13, 2017. Hitchcock is returning to coach the Stars where he won the Stanley Cup in 1999. He has since coached the Philadelphia Flyers, Columbus Blue Jackets and St. Louis Blues. (AP Photo/LM Otero)

Ken Hitchcock should have been in the midst of one final Stanley Cup run with the St. Louis Blues right now before riding off into the sunset. After 20 seasons as a head coach, he was ready to say goodbye and hand the reins over the Mike Yeo for next season.

Despite his February dismissal, Hitchcock was still ready to walk away. He received the standard calls from colleagues around the game expressing their sympathy and saying how Blues general manager Doug Armstrong made a terrible decision. But then after a month when Hitchcock’s phone rang it was for a different reason. Coaches were still calling, but they were done expressing sympathy. They were needed help.

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And so over a period of time, there were 10-15 coaches – from the NHL to AHL to college to junior hockey – all of whom were being advised by Hitchcock. He was to coaches what Adam Oates has now become with NHL players.

While he was providing help with X’s and O’s and, in some cases, saving jobs, the coaches on the other end were doing just as much for Hitchcock as he was doing for them: They were reigniting his spark.

“I was helping them become better coaches, but in the end what it did was really help me, and I told guys that,” Hitchcock said Thursday after officially being introduced as the new head coach of the Dallas Stars. “I had a couple of very emotional calls with a couple of NHL guys yesterday about how much they helped me. They thought I was helping them but they were helping me.”

The advisor role Hitchcock took on was just one part of what started to change his original plan of saying good-bye. He attended a leadership conference in New York featuring representatives from European sports teams discussing how they dealt with young athletes. He listened to the various philosophies and took in the different ideas he was hearing and the coaching juices started flowing again. Soon after, he got the call from Nill and was ready to jump back into the game refreshed and recharged.

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According to Nill, Hitchcock signed a “multi-year” deal and whenever he’s done coaching he’ll have a consulting contract with the organization.

There’s familiarity throughout the organization for Hitchcock, and not just because he’s returning to the franchise that gave him his NHL start and where he won his only Stanley Cup. He was a guest coach during training camp in 2010 for the Detroit Red Wings, where Nill was the team’s assistant GM. That’s when the two got to know one another, and years later, when the opportunity was there to name a new coach, Nill reached out.

With alumni and current Stars players in attendance such as captain Jamie Benn, Tyler Seguin, Jason Spezza and Dan Hamhuis, Hitchcock spoke glowingly about the roster and just how hard it was for his 2014-15 Blues team to play against Dallas during their second-round series which was won by St. Louis in seven games. He said he wasn’t concerned about the step back this season because he understands what their abilities can bring.

As Hitchcock looks to do what he does best – improve teams immediately – he’ll also make some history along the way. When he was fired by the Blues he was stuck on 781 NHL coaching wins, one behind Al Arbour for third all-time. He’ll reach that mark next season, likely around the 22nd anniversary of his first coaching win back in 1995.

“This is an emotional day for me because this is like coming home,” Hitchcock said. “This means the world to me.”

– – – – – – –

Sean Leahy is the associate editor for Puck Daddy on Yahoo Sports. Have a tip? Email him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or follow him on Twitter! Follow @Sean_Leahy

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mafia!verse: the wedding [5]

“You aren’t driving away in my car.”

“I've done worse in things fancier than your car that you can’t drive.”

Tim’s mouth clamps shut and Jason smirks in his momentary victory.

“Neither of you are driving away because this is a group effort,” Dick says, “And I’m not going in there alone. I might not make it out again.”

“Good,” Cassandra says, but makes no motion to lead the five of them past the doors.

“Someone needs to hold the door for me,” Tim points out. “These are the most comfortable crutches I’ve used in the past few years, but they’re not fun to just stand around in.”

“Damian, you still live here.” Dick turns to the youngest of them. “Go on.”

“Technically,” Damian says slowly, “All of you still live here. Cain, we all know you’re his favorite. You open the door.”

“Jason makes a bold statement,” Cassandra replies, turning to Jason, “You open it.”

“Fuck off, he hates my guts and we’ll instantly be at a disadvantage. Tim, I’ll hold the door open from behind and you go in first. You’re technically the one running the business right now anyway.”

“Dick’s the eldest. You always talk about how you’d do anything for us because that’s what a big brother does.” Tim gestures with the tip of his crutch towards the door. “Well. Go on. Prove it.”

“Yeah, Dick, prove it.”

“Sequential order,” Damian agrees, “Grayson.”

A voice clears their throat from behind them and they all turn around to see Alfred.

“Did you need help with the door?”

The five of them exchange embarrassed looks before shuffling into order, mumbling variations of no, thank you, Alfred.

“Very good. Is that the five of you for dinner then?”

Another mumbled series of yes, please, thank you Alfred’s, as everyone makes sure they aren’t looking at the butler and instead at the floor.

“I feel like I’m in private school again,” Jason murmurs.

“You were in private school for all of one day before you got kicked out,” Damian replies.

“Yeah, and this is the part where I get kicked out. I’d say it was the highlight of the day but Alfred was there.”

“I remember it fondly, sir.”

“Come on, Aflred, you can pretend that you can’t hear us having a mild panic attack over facing the old man.”

“I bet he can hear us,” Tim groans, “I bet he can hear all of us right now.”

“So let’s stop giving him more ammunition,” Dick puts his hand on the doorknob. “Okay. On three.”

“We’re crime bosses, we shouldn’t be scared to piss of our own dad.”

“And yet here we are,” Damian reaches around Tim and jabs Jason in the ribs. “Let’s go.”

Dick counts down to three and opens the door, the five of them filing in, bookended by Alfred closing the doors behind them and going to take the tea tray from the small table next to the only occupied chair in the solar.

Bruce is sitting in a stiff backed arm chair, working on the crossword of the weekend paper, glasses perched on his nose.

As soon as the five of them have filed in and arranged themselves on the empty seats in the room he takes the glasses of his nose, folds the paper, and looks up at them.

“How was the wedding?”

“Hilarious,” Jason answers. “And awkward as fuck.”

“Did you have a nice time?”

“Can we cut the pleasantries?” Tim asks, watching as Damian and Cassandra arrange his crutches leaning them against the arm of the long, low sofa so that they don’t fall down. “I’m exhausted and I hate suits.”

“The bride and groom looked like a nice pair,” Dick says, ignoring Tim as he plays out the small talk, “Maybe a bit stressed, but that’s weddings for you.”

“The five of us talked and the results were frustrating,” Damian says, back ramrod straight as he takes his position between Tim and Cassandra on the sofa. “Did you know about this already?”

“Know about what already?”

“The multiple double crosses and alliances against us that led to the shoot out in front of city hall.”

“Ah, yes,” Bruce blinks, “I had wondered what you were going to do about it, I thought you were just giving them more time to make things exceptionally crushing when you finally got around to handling it. I already had a plan ready to put into motion, but as the five of you always remind me — you are adults capable of making their own decisions. I didn’t want to step on any toes.”

The five of them share a collective, internal, grimace. Of course he knew about it.

“But, since the five of you hadn’t made any moves I felt that perhaps a small suggestion would be forgiven.”

Less suggestion, more royal edict.

“What is your plan moving forward?”

“Well,” Dick turns to Tim.

Tim presses the heels of his palms to his eyes as he sighs, sounding tired, wan, and overall fed up with today.

“We’re going to starve them out. I’ll extend the legal and above board arm of W.E. to slowly pressure their business and make life hard for them. They’ll, inevitably, have to start turning towards their more dubious sources for assets. Jason and Cassandra are going to crack down on their increased illegal activity by  picking off their resources — convincing them to join people who are more like our people. Not by literally — no violence. Like you suggested. Dick’s going to keep them contained to Gotham using his various and sundry connections and whatever he does to convince people to do what he wants them to do, and Damian’s going to come down on whoever even looks at them sideways by giving them the face and using archaic language on them.”

“If you would read something that did not involve space shuttles or fire breathing reptiles you’d know that the words I use aren’t archaic.”

“Yeah, take a crack at ye olde Beowulf for archaic,” Jason muses, ruffling Damian’s hair and dodging the swipe at his hand, “Damian’s just posh.”

“Which businesses will you pressure?” Bruce asks, “How?”

“We can afford to take a hit on our shipping,” Tim says, “I don’t intend to make this a war of attrition. They don’t have our resources and they don’t have our reputation. They’ll panic, and they’ll make mistakes. It won’t take longer than a few months before I’ve gotten them desperate. I’ll start scheduling a series of sales and store remodels, sharp discounts — we’re coming up on some trademark renewal schedules. Perfect time to offload everything with our brand logos as we update them. I’ll use the brands that aren’t commonly remembered to belong to us. Our low end clothing lines, our store brand vitamins, things like that. They can’t launder money on schedule if there isn’t any excuse for the revenue to come in. Meanwhile, they also can’t be copying our trademarks and selling them at discount if we’re already doing it.”

“By the time they’ve figured out exactly who we’re planing on making them start living a minimalist style I’ll have begun scoping out their hands and convincing them into joining other gangs,” Jason says, “The muscle goes where the money goes.”

“And the loyalty of the family?”

“One family cannot stand against the five of us,” Dick says, “And by the time I’ve finished making sure everyone knows how upset we are with this one family that’s all they will be. One small family.”

“And their business partners?”

“If they are in the business of profit then they will see how unwise it is to be their business partners,” Damian says, “Or even be associated with that family name.”

Bruce nods thoughtfully. “Good.”

“Good,” Cassandra repeats back, nodding also as she abruptly stands. “I do not want to eat dinner in this suit.”

She goes over and kisses Bruce on the cheek and walks out the door.

“I don’t want to eat dinner in any kind of suit,” Jason says and follows after her, pausing at the door to glance at Tim. “You good, Replacement?”

“I’ll manage,” Tim says dryly, picking his crutches up. “Hold the door, would you? And give me back my car keys.”

“Again, it might be your car but you can’t drive it.”

Damian rolls his eyes, trailing after them with a momentary look at Dick and Bruce before sighing and leaving, shutting the door behind himself with a small click.

Dick crosses his arms, meeting Bruce’s gaze head on.

“You didn’t have a plan for this, did you?” Dick says.

Bruce smiles, slowly standing up as he walks towards the door.

“There was no right answer,” Dick continues. “You just wanted to see what we’d come up with.”

“There are never any answers, Dick,” Bruce says, gesturing for his eldest to leave first. “And the solution the five of you came up together is very clever. I’m proud you.”

Dick groans, “I hate it when you plot for us to get along and work together. I bet you knew that the five of us were getting played.”

“I know you do,” Bruce claps a hand to Dick’s back, “Don’t worry, sport, I only knew about the five of you getting circles run around you since the engagement. Before that I was just guessing.”

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WWE Uncooked outcomes, recap: Royal Rumble essential occasion set, Ambrose sells an harm

If nearly all of Monday’s episode of Uncooked felt extra like a rerun than something designed to maneuver prime storylines alongside so near the vacations, WWE made certain to sneak in some breaking information to shut the present.  

The announcement of the primary ladies’s Royal Rumble match in firm historical past was deserving of the feel-good response it obtained (even when the way during which the information was disseminated left a lot to be desired) and was one other progressive step ahead in WWE ladies being introduced as equals of their male counterparts.  

However the the rest of the present was clunky and repetitive at finest as WWE predictably relied on one more in-ring mixture of the endless feud between The Bar and Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins for the spine of the present as issues have been stored principally in impartial with greater than a month earlier than the following pay-per-view. 

Stephanie McMahon makes a giant announcement

The Uncooked commissioner arrived through limousine earlier within the night time, offering the sensation that one thing large was coming. It occurred following a essential occasion six-women tag group match between Absolution and the trio of Sasha Banks, Mickie James & Bayley that lasted simply lengthy sufficient for Mandy Rose and Sonia Deville to drive a disqualification by relentlessly stomping on Banks. Nia Jax was fast to the rescue and fought off a quick assault to toss Deville and Rose by their hair earlier than a artistic spot during which she stacked them up on her shoulders for a double Samoan drop. Paige floored Jax with a chop block earlier than hitting a pair of superkicks. Out got here all the Uncooked ladies’s locker room as a wild brawl ensued.  

McMahon’s music hit and he or she took her time strolling to the ring. Stepping in between the 2 sides, McMahon referenced the present “ladies’s revolution” and advised a quick historical past of how WWE ladies, everybody from Fabulous Moolah and Mae Younger to the celebs of at this time, “turned that revolution into an evolution.” McMahon then referenced Banks and Alexa Bliss’ latest groundbreaking match in Abu Dhabi however mentioned that wasn’t sufficient. “What do you say, girls, you make historical past as soon as once more?” McMahon mentioned, earlier than asserting that the Jan. 28 Royal Rumble pay-per-view in Philadelphia could be the primary to function an all-female Royal Rumble match. “If there was ever a time for a ‘Sure’ chant, it is now,” McMahon added, earlier than beginning the mantra with everybody within the ring as the printed went off the air.  

Let’s not bury the lede right here: This was the precise transfer by WWE and much-deserved for such a gifted and (abruptly) deep ladies’s roster. The timing, contemporary off the Mae Younger Basic and June’s inaugural ladies’s Cash within the Financial institution match, could not be any higher. However the best way during which the information was conveyed was virtually cringeworthy. Seeing McMahon, a superb on-screen heel, interrupt a hostile brawl to ship a babyface speech made it really feel like an excessive amount of of the fourth wall was eliminated. McMahon walked slowly right into a battle that had been weeks within the making and introduced storyline peace attributable to her mere presence as if she have been a deity. Even worse, bitter enemies not solely put down their weapons so as to take within the historic second, all of them joined arms afterwards during a WWE.com exclusive video to participate in a company victory lap which felt compelled and threatened to spoil the deserved goodwill.

Yep, it is a triple risk match

Uncooked normal supervisor Kurt Angle opened the present asserting he would reveal common champion Brock Lesnar’s subsequent opponent earlier than the tip of the night time. Out got here an offended Braun Strowman to declare why he ought to get the decision on the Royal Rumble. Kane shortly adopted and talked about how though Lesnar has an extended listing of superstars he has taken out, “The Huge Purple Machine” is just not one in all them. Kane argued he ought to get the shot except Strowman “is man sufficient to cease me.”  

Paul Heyman’s voice interrupted the proceedings and cautioned they should not “have this dialogue with out enter from my shopper.” Lesnar adopted him to the ring and the three heavyweights stared one another down. A nervous Angle booked a triple risk match for the Royal Rumble earlier than escaping the inevitable carnage. Kane despatched Strowman excessive rope and backhanded Lesnar. However Brock rallied to hit an F5 and stand tall. Kane sat up within the middle of the ring as Lesnar reached the stage, inflicting the champion to cease and stare.  

At this level, what else is there to say by way of criticism for WWE that hasn’t been regurgitated for the previous month? Having 50-year-old Kane in a outstanding title match at a serious pay-per-view in 2017 is unforgivable. The truth that he is taking a spot that ought to’ve gone to Finn Balor (somebody who might really bump to make this match thrilling) is doubly disappointing. That is both Vince McMahon trolling his personal viewers or just falling out of contact with it.

Dean Ambrose sells a proper arm harm

Seth Rollins’ unique match with Samoa Joe by no means got here to fruition because of Jason Jordan, who crashed the introductions in hopes of speaking his method into a giant match. His interruption was profitable in that it started to bother Rollins, who responded to Jordan pushing him by angrily agreeing to a match at that second. With Joe — who was greater than keen to step apart — watching outdoors the ring, this three-segment match heated up late with nearfalls. Rollins lastly hit The Knee for the 1-2-Three. Joe attacked each babyfaces earlier than exiting. After Rollins and Jordan complained to Angle backstage, he booked a six-man tag match for later tonight between Joe and The Bar towards Jordan, Rollins and Ambrose.  

A late-match suicide dive from Rollins appeared to trigger an harm to Ambrose’s proper shoulder, forcing the ringside physician to take a more in-depth look. Seconds later, Rollins walked right into a Brogue Kick contained in the ring earlier than the late-arriving referee, who was monitoring Ambrose, delivered the three depend. Though WWE did effectively to current Ambrose’s harm as actual, a backstage assault afterwards by all three heels cemented the storyline nature. Rollins was thrown head first right into a cement wall, and Ambrose had his arm closed in a street case.  

It is troublesome to inform precisely what WWE’s plans with this one. As a result of Ambrose’s arm harm was not directly brought on by Rollins, this might very effectively be the seed planted in the direction of an eventual heel flip and implosion for The Protect’s reunion. It additionally might be simply one other mailed-in episode of Uncooked as WWE can not help itself from reserving some variation of the The Bar and The Protect towards one another in lengthy matches meant to kill time with nothing at stake and little or no development of storyline. Contemplating the lengths they went to inform the story of Ambrose’s arm, let’s hope it is the previous. 

What else occurred on Uncooked? 

Bray Wyatt declares “The Nice Struggle” should finish: Throughout a solo video promo, Wyatt questioned why the WWE universe is so keen on Woken Matt Hardy. After heckling Hardy’s chortle and humorous faces, Wyatt mentioned “it is all enjoyable and video games till somebody will get damage and that is the place I are available in. However I need to ensure the precise individuals get damage.” It is Hardy and the viewers who Wyatt hoped to harm probably the most. After singing a bizarre music, Wyatt instructed Hardy to run.  

Finn Balor def. Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel through disqualification in handicap match: Fixed double teaming by The Miztourage grew to become the norm in entrance of a useless crowd. The fixed stomping on Balor finally grew to become an excessive amount of because the referee referred to as for the bell. The two-on-1 assault continued till Balor was rescued by a run-in from former NXT famous person Hideo Itami, who will make his 205 Stay debut on Tuesday.  

Finn Balor & Hideo Itami def. Bo Dallas & Curtis Axel through pinfall: This tag group match was booked through the industrial break and was created to showcase Itami’s MMA-inspired moveset. Itami largely dominated the match with kicks and strikes earlier than hitting the identical GTS finisher that impressed CM Punk’s model of the transfer for the pin.

Cedric Alexander def. Drew Gulak through pinfall in a No. 1 contender’s match: Alexander secured a shot at Enzo Amore’s cruiserweight championship with the victory on this sturdy three-segment match. Late within the match, Gulak intercepted a superkick to place Alexander right into a submission that Amore on commentary referred to as the “Gabba-Gulak Grip.” However Alexander finally reached the ropes to interrupt the maintain and hit his Lumbar Test for the 1-2-Three. Nia Jax tweeted at Amore to verify his DMs after the match and the 2 met backstage till Gulak stumbled in, with a bloody tissue hanging from his nostril, to interrupt when he apologized to Amore for shedding. A flirty Jax exited the dialog earlier than Amore turned to Gulak and yelled, “You probably did a whole lot of issues unsuitable Drew! Lots of issues unsuitable!” 

Asuka def. Alicia Fox through submission: Fox’s pre-match video promo promised she would “break Asuka’s undefeated streak” or freak out if she failed. She failed. A missile dropkick from the second rope arrange a kick to the pinnacle from Asuka and a rolling armbar to provide the faucet.   

Woken Matt Hardy responds to Bray Wyatt: Throughout an odd video promo during which he was enjoying chess towards his pet goldfish Napolean, Hardy in contrast the “huge battlefield of WWE” to a chess board. He then warned Wyatt that “my mild will illuminate brighter than any shadow your darkness might forged.” Calling all of his “Woken Warriors” to battle, Hardy promised to delete Wyatt and his “evil heinous Sister Abigail” in a goofy and meandering rant.

The Revival def. Heath Slater & Rhyno through pinfall: On the shelf since August attributable to Scott Dawson’s biceps harm, The Revival made their shock return simply when Uncooked’s skinny tag group division wanted it most. This temporary squash match got here to a detailed after a Shatter Machine finisher on Slater. After the match, Angle advised Rhyno and Slater backstage they want toughen up if they need extra alternatives within the new yr. 

Elias makes feminine mates, enemies: Earlier than the beginning of the all-women essential occasion, Elias advised tales about inspiring Tom Brady together with his music. After getting the gang’s consideration with the New England Patriots references, he returned to heel by brilliantly mocking Brady’s Deflategate scandal. Elias then devoted his music to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell however was interrupted by Sasha Banks and Mickie James, who gave the impression to be having fun with themselves.(“All the ladies need to stroll with Elias,” he added. Elias reminded the gang of his heel methods as soon as extra by avoiding a Bayley hug on his method again to the locker room.

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