#it truly is horrible out here for me
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eucalyptication · 6 months ago
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there’s actually nothing quite like the olympics to make me feel like i’ve wasted my whole life away 😊
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miraculouslbcnreactions · 4 days ago
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The fandom can't make up its mind on what's supposed to be a joke and what's supposed to be serious because the show can't either half the time. It's a tonally disjointed mess that wants to have absurd over-the-top humor as well as a plot and moments of drama, romance, and angst that demand you see the characters as people and feel for what they're going through. Except you can't do that without also treating the dumb bullshit in a somewhat grounded way. Like, you're still dealing with the same characters. You can't just go "Oh, that? Let's ignore that!" the moment it's no longer convenient to you. You've opened this can of worms and now you have to sleep in it. So, every character flip-flops between two different versions of themselves depending on what the writers need in any particular scene.
This is not to say surreal humor can't be used right alongside characters you're supposed to empathize with, Teen Titans (not Go) did that and it worked. It's just that the absurdity can only come from the setting (Mad Mod, Mother Mae-Eye, pretty much anything Control Freak is in) or from designated joke characters (Date With Destiny). Teen Titans never had the main characters acting in clearly absurd ways as the butt of a joke unless those characters were brainwashed somehow, because the writers knew that would ruin any of the more grounded moments they wanted to write. The writers of Miraculous missed the memo on that one.
I don't disagree. A perfect example is Derision where the show takes all of the bad jokes about Marinette's crush and decides to take them seriously as if you can possible take them seriously without making Marinette come across as unhinged and dangerous. You can't, which brings us to the topic at hand: how do you even begin to understand these characters when the show is constantly making character-breaking choices?
My approach - and the approach I recommend others take if they're going to keep watching the show - is to focus on the characters' cores and reject anything canon does to violate those cores. I don't argue for this stance because I love the characters so much that I only want the good things to count. I take this stance because, if you don't, then the characters fall apart. There is no way to make them work as fully realized characters while embracing every choice canon has made. Miraculous has massive characterization issues that go well beyond the humor.
For example, Adrien has multiple moments of terrible behavior that are played in a serious manner such as the moment in the episode Frozer where he tries to start a fight with Ladybug in the middle of an akuma attack because she wouldn't accept a rose from him earlier:
Setup
Ladybug: I can't accept this rose from you. I told you already. I'm in love with someone else. Cat Noir: I know, M'lady. But if he weren't here, would things be different between us? Ladybug: Well, you know, I can't even begin to imagine him not being here. I'm sorry, Cat Noir. I really gotta get going, and you better do the same. (Swings her yo-yo to head back home; Cat Noir is sad, looking downwards, with one petal of the rose falling.)
Payoff
Ladyice: Cat Noir. We need to set up a trap for whoever turned the city into a giant ice rink. (throws yo-yo) Icecat: (bitterly) My feline instincts prefer to track and observe before I attack. You go your way, I'll go mine. Ladyice: Please don't tell me you're mad at me about the rose. Icecat: There may be a certain chill now between us. Ladyice: I get it, but we should really focus on saving Paris right now. Icecat: We don't always have to do everything together, after all. It's not like we're a couple. (skates away)
There's no way to argue this off as a bad joke. While Adrien has every right to feel hurt, those feelings don't excuse him acting like a pouting child in the middle of an akuma fight. It doesn't excuse him acting like this at any point! Ladybug is not a villain for telling him no. She wasn't even mean about it!
I clearly fully agree that Adrien looks awful and selfish here, but I'd still argue that it's not something that should be used to define Adrien's character if your goal is to tell the "ideal" version of Miraculous. "Ideal" being the version that canon seems to be going for based on the overall picture we can sort of make out if we back way, way, way up and look at the extremely abstract picture canon is clumsily painting.
Unless canon is going to do something monumentally stupid, Adrien is Marinette's endgame romantic interest. It's also clear that there is no plan to cut him from the team. He's going to be Chat Noir for the rest of his life or at least well into his adulthood. This means that he is supposed to be a good hero who deserves his miraculous just like he's supposed to be a charming and cute romantic lead. These are the two things I keep in mind when trying to shift through canon to figure out what writing choices I should fully embrace and what writing choices I have to either ignore or treat as true flaws that get an actual character arc. In my book, either approach is fine because most of the characters are deeply flawed at this point and you can't give them all arcs without bloating the story to nonsense levels.
My goal with this approach is never to say, "oh, that moment shouldn't count in terms of how people feel about the character." It's more, "that moment goes so hard against who this character is very clearly supposed to be that I can't take it into account if I want to tell the kind of story that Miraculous is trying (and clearly failing) to tell."
As an example, let's list off Adrien's worst behaviors. The things that make him look terrible:
He sucks at communicating his needs and feelings, leading to multiple moments where he gets mad at Ladybug for things she's totally unaware of
He has quit or considered quitting without warning multiple times and only one of those was because of something he did "wrong" (NYC Special)
He puts his feelings before the safety of Paris on multiple occasions, even going so far to purposely miss akuma fights to see what happens
He is incredibly pushy about his crush, often ignoring Ladybug's feelings on the topic by continuing to bring it up even after she asked him to stop
There have been multiple instances where he almost cataclysmed multiple people in a fit of anger
His love for Ladynette isn't strong enough to let him break free of things like akumas and nightmare dust even when he's looking her in the eyes making him a pretty crappy romantic lead
People will argue that some of this behavior makes sense for his character because of the abuse that canon has technically introduced, but that the writers seem blissfully unaware of. I don't disagree with that argument, but that doesn't change the fact that none of this is acceptable behavior for a hero and Adrien is a hero who keeps doing these things. A sad backstory doesn't give you the right to behave poorly without consequences.
At the same time, if I fully embrace these elements of canon, what I get is an Adrien salt fic where he loses his miraculous for good while Marinette finds her real true love or even just a non-salty fic where Adrien leaves for his own meatal health and gets replaced by someone who can handle being a hero right now. Canon's not writing either of those, so the only way to engage with these flaws while enjoying canon or aiming for the same end goals as canon is to say, "I guess this doesn't count" or "I guess I need to tone this way down and work through it via a character arc" or even "I guess that was just a bad joke maybe?"
That is the essence of what I mean when I call myself a writing salt, character sugar blog. It comes from looking at canon and seeing that there's simply no way to embrace the worst moments and the best at the same time. We're not dealing with a coherent plot and/or complex characters. We're dealing with a nonsense plot that will warp the characters to bizarre shapes to make random ideas work even if those idea go wildly against canon's end goals.
As an example, Glaciator and Frozer should not exist in the same universe or, at the very least, something should explain why Chat Noir randomly changed his stance on Ladybug's crush from acceptance to pushiness. As is, the pieces don't fit together. The behavior is too contradictory. Remember, this is how Glaciator ends:
Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like, I love her. I have to believe. In the meantime, her friendship is the best gift of all.
Where did this version of Adrien go? Why did he regress in Frozer? There's no in-universe reason. It happened because the writers weren't ready to let the love square date or grow close, but they also wanted the love square to cause drama, so Adrien ends up looking terrible just like Marinette ends up looking terrible when it's her turn to cause love square drama. Her terribleness takes a different flavor so it can be hard to realize that this is a systemic issue, but that's what it is. It's deeply frustrating, but it also clearly stems from cheap writing and not quality characterization.
This is also why my stance is that canon as a whole only supports my Doyalistic core-character analysis style of approach. The writing is too poor quality to do Watsonian analysis where you embrace the full picture and try to put it all together. The closest I'll get to Watsonian analysis is pointing out how much the writing botches a Watsonian take by showing you all the way the writing contradicts itself, twisting into a nonsense pretzel of frustration where the payoffs never satisfy! (See the season four rant for an example or anything where I talked about Chloe's supposed damnation arc.)
There are even characters where canon is such a total mess that you can Doyalistically argue for two separate takes! Gabriel is a perfect example. He is all over the place and his ending was so poorly handled that you can make strong arguments for writing him as a cold-hearted villain or a sympathetic villain without the end result feeling like it spits in the face of canon because both takes maintain his one core element: villain.
That's the big thing I keep in mind when I look at the characters and the lore and the plots and try to come up with versions that the average fan would like. I don't think that there's one true version of any of these things, but I do feel comfortable saying that there are versions that will very clearly only appeal to people who are salty about a specific thing that canon did poorly. That's not who I want to appeal to in my adaptions, so while I'm not going to argue that those takes have no backing in canon, I will argue that those takes are not supported by canon as a whole. Embracing them requires you to take the worst parts of canon at face value while ignoring what canon is clearly trying to do with the overall story.
I get the appeal of that, but it's not fun for me because that approach feels like rolling around in the mud with the pigs. I don't want to sink to canon's level! I want to have fun! That's why I talk about how to make canon into its best self, not its worst self. If you want its worst self, just go watch the actual show. I will be shocked it if disappoints you.
#anon ask#ml writing critical#ml writing salt#pandaofsecrets#character core#Once again none of this is meant to excuse any specific actions as “not that bad”#This is just me explaining how I approach the characters#I know there are fics out there that try to be sugar while embracing some of the bad parts of canon and that rarely works for me#To address these issues correctly you basically have to rewrite canon with the goal of properly setting up and addressing a specific issue#You can't just jump into canon as-is and fix anything in a truly satisfying way because canon is such a disaster#Lila and Alya is a perfect example#Alya's writing in Lila's episodes goes so hard against who Alya is supposed to be that you have to completely rework Lila and/or her lies#Which is why my list of favorite Lila takedowns is so short#Even the ones that are kind to Alya have her painfully gullible because of how badly written the Lila stuff was#You can't have Alya smart and clever while including all the things she's canonically done in the Lila plot and I hate it#Season five at least temporarily killed the fun of writing for this fandom for me#I hope to get it back so I can finish my in progress stuff because I really do love these characters#Canon just makes it so hard to have fun these days#The stuff I've heard about season six is just depressing#I hope my love for the characters and ideas comes through on this blog in addition to my frustration#I wouldn't be here if I just hated everything about the show#Canon is so beyond saving that I can't even read a lot of non-salty fanfic these days#The stuff that tries to embrace the later seasons while also giving happy endings just depresses me because it never works.#I can only read early canon stuff AUS and reboots#Only way I can enjoy the fandom is to treat canon as a popular but horrible fanfic that a bunch of the fandom is embracing for some reason
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vigilskeep · 7 months ago
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um calenhad aeducan lore. known fondly as prince cal by the people of orzammar and also me. he’s called that after the founder of the theirin line, because after ferelden successfully rebelled against orlesian rule, orzammar was like oh fuck we’ve got to repair that relationship as if we didn’t just sit by the whole time that was happening. so there were a bunch of these kind of uh diplomatic publicity stunts happening around the time he was born. and nothing about his life has ever not been someone else’s angle
his mother was one of endrin’s lesser concubines from a lower status house, and every jealous eye turned in her direction when she bore the king a son. despite that, endrin’s queen took her and the baby under her wing. it wasn’t entirely altruistic. the queen had no sons of her own, so cal could serve instead as her “contender” for heir against trian, the son of her long-time rival, a favoured concubine called lady rosdrada. the queen also happened to be a notable warrior, a powerful reaver, who died years later on a deep roads expedition under mildly suspicious circumstances, with many blaming lady rosdrada. (she was never publicly accused but neither did the king ever marry her and allow her to rise to the queen’s vacant place, a fact bitterly resented by her faction.)
cal’s mother, who returned the queen’s protection and favour with fierce loyalty, was first among rosdrada’s accusers. furious that punishment never came, she changed almost overnight from a shy, humble woman to a politician who could in her own right engage in the life or death battle for succession, raising her son to be the fulfilment of the late queen’s ambitions. he was trained since childhood in both the ways of princely charm and the ways of a reaver warrior, all to be the vengeance of a woman whose face he sometimes struggles to remember. perhaps there was a time, as boys, when he tried to be a brother to trian despite it all, but with his mother’s teachings always in his ears and trian less bearable each year, he’s long since accepted that deadly conflict between them is inevitable. he’s never eager to be the ruthless aeducan prince, but he’s always done his duty, however ugly. he never turns down the foul-tasting reaver concoctions, or quakes when he’s sent to the deep roads. he always defends his house’s honour and makes the point in blood. anything less is death; his mother tells him so
he doesn’t truly want the throne. he just wants more than anything to have the weight of expectations off his shoulders, and to no longer dread that his mother, his second, and all who support them will pay the deadly price of his failure. he’ll jump blindly at the chance to get this fight over with—and that’s all the opportunity bhelen ever needed
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bruciemilf · 2 years ago
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I think an underappreciated motive for Bruce / Batman to not murder the Joker after he killed Jason is that it would, in a sense, mean Joker won. Like, yeah the Joker would be dead but he would also be laughing himself silly that he was the one who made the Bat break his code.
Bruce sparing the Joker was not because he didn't love Jason enough to kill him, but because he refused to let the Joker take anything else from him; he took his son, but he would not take his honor, his morality, his code. He would not give Joker the satisfaction.
Yeah! I think, ultimately, DC said it best, -- one death, two deaths, three deaths, -- whatever you pick, everybody loses. It was a no win situation from the start and specifically designed to have no satisfactory ending
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men are so disappointing in so many ways i know i shouldn't expect most of them to be dignified humans but it's crazy. i need to get over this guy he's making my sense of self crumble even faster than it usually does. like he's just so unlike my usual type and i'm pretty convinced he's stupid and slutty and not discerning whatsoever. not to mention boring like i know even if i did have a chance with him he wouldn't Get Me at all so it's a bigger waste of time that usual and i'm actually pretty tired of men in general and definitely tired of parasocial relationships because they drive me insane for months typically. thankfully it's only been like 2 weeks if that at this point. idk. sigh. i know literally virtually nothing abt him as a person and ofc liking any public figure who you know nothing about is only setting yourself for heartbreak and disappointment to begin with bc you already know nothing is gonna come from it but. in a way it's almost addictive to become obsessed with someone and not be looked at with the same level of scrutiny. i don't think anyone in real life would ever try to get to know me as much as i try to get to know people who i'll never even meet. lmao! but that's the thing... idk... i have a lot of love in my heart and it consumes me and i reject my pride usually when i'm into someone. i want to know more... like VORACIOUSLY consuming anything with information about them involved simply because i think knowing someone is a very deep form of love but of course you can never truly know anyone. not completely. and that scares me i think which is why it's always probably been easier for me to never really TRY to be with anyone or have anything real. idk. this turned into me psychoanalyzing myself real quick but SOMEONE needs to bc i need to understand what the fuck is wrong w me.
#like i'm not gonna lie and say i do this every time i'm even vaguely interested in someone. most of the time i'm just like 'ooo hottie'#and then save a bunch of pics before either the shame gets to me or i just stop caring and move on. happens quite a bit more than my#obsessive episodes. the worst one was absolutely the fact that i was obsessed with jeremy for basically 3 years and spent two hating him#simply because i thought i was owed anything. honestly i think i was just very very insanely depressed. that's probably why those#obsessive periods even happen to begin with because i have felt so so horrible like soul ripped out horrible the past few weeks lmao#and i think i'm just a grasp for any light in the dark type person like it doesn't even necessarily mean anything the person is just someon#i attach significance to them when i do this shit but i know deep down that i'm owed nothing and that i truly expect nothing#it's just nice to have a distraction from my life. and dgmw that doesn't make me any less schizo about certain details and happenings#like i'll still think that 'oh they're only doing that because i'm into them' or 'they only went here because it was related to something i#was thinking about earlier' and whatever else. i know what i am. i don't claim to be anything else. and i know it puts people off.#and that i'm not likely to get any better if i keep doing it. if it's even possible for me to get better. but idk. it's interesting bc i've#thought more about what my life means to me and the kind of person i am and how my brain works and how everything affects me#more in the past few weeks than i seem to have in the last 5 years. i think i'm really getting better at accepting hard truths.#time spent by yourself is still time spent with the world.... and the more i think... even if it's hurtful... i'm growing and changing all#the time. i don't think if this was 4 years ago i would've even acknowledged the fact that i can't write off on This Guy's zionism#and other things about him that give me the ick (hate that phrase but whtevr) like him playing that gay hogwarts game and being a nepo baby#like bro you have trans friends and supposedly always 'look out for the small guy'. he's also never dated a fat girl despite his mom being#kind of a trailblazer for fat women in the entertainment industry. there's always rumors of him dating literally ever costar he's ever#worked with i guess simply because he seems like that kind of guy. and to be fair he does LMAO#honestly i don't know if i believe he's a bad person but i won't sign off on a guy i like being boring and stupid. that's just me#i'm sure ppl reading this who also don't Get Me are wondering why any of this even matters and the point is that it kind of doesn't lmao#but it's my life and i typically choose to care about people who will never even know i exist. unpopular girl instinct i suppose. maybe i'm#destined to be unloved or something but for now i wear fantasies like a blanket. maybe one day i won't need them anymore. but i def#do not need to center my romantic ideals on a guy i would be embarrassed to tell people i'm dating if i were actually dating him. rough#now just give me a month to get over it and finish the 2nd season of a show i like that he's in and i'll be rid of it hopefully. we'll see
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musicalmoritz · 6 months ago
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LMAO there’s no way someone made a callout blog for TBHK, you people have way too much free time on your hands
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rustedgate · 1 month ago
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being not depressed is kind of what i was scared it would be. im so fucking angry. cause i have the energy to *BE* angry now. and to be told i should just "let it go, ruminating won't help" by someone who's spent my ENTIRE LIFE being angry, just in general, meaning i have to tiptoe around without that person EVER realizing i do that, is incredibly frustrating.
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eeblouissant · 5 months ago
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do you ever find a song that reminds you so violently of a favourite character that you kind of just like. freeze there once the realization hits
so anyway I found a new Dorothy song and I’ve paused everything I was doing to talk about it because. oh my god. come cry with me.
Flowers by Marina, here’re the lyrics:
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obviously I’ve related this back to her marriage with/& divorce from stan, but I feel like this song really encapsulates how easy it is/has been for Dorothy to fall right back into his arms at the slightest show of affection, regardless of how far along she is in her own healing journey, and how awful she knows he is. “And it’s most tempting to give in when you hear the firin shots, when you’re steps from winning back all the happiness you lost.”
She’s very weak to emotional temptation, it’s one of her biggest character flaws. It doesn’t take much to convince her to do something she has already been yearning for even slightly. (I could connect this back to her recovering gambling addiction on so many different levels but thats another post entirely, and kind of self explanatory) ie: the episode stan takes a wife, where he shows affection for Sophia in crisis, keeps dorothy company, and now - regardless of the fact that she’s about to ruin a planned wedding and that, stan is stan - dorothy is determined to take stan back and completely convinced that he wants her back, too. We see dorothy in a similar situation with stan in season one also, to a little bit of a lesser extent. There are so many big and small examples of this that it would be impossible to name them all individually, but I think the examples involving stanley are most relevant here. oh god, not to mention the time they almost actually get married again … spare me. Eventually, everytime, when he proves once again to be the asshole that cheated & left her, she comes to her senses. But oh my god sometimes it just takes so much for her to see that someone is bad for her. “–but I would rather not, betray myself, just to keep your love at any cost”
Sophia comments on this flaw once or twice in canon too (OUCH, BTW.) and it just … dorothy is always so defensive. girl your mother is correct I fear!!!
“If you’d just bought me flowers, maybe I would have stayed”… the slightest show of affection would have kept her there with him for even longer, I’m so sure of it – thank god he stayed gone for as long as he did. Should have been forever!!!!!!! she had been slipping away from him since day one.
Do I even need to start talking about “and now my future gleams with colours bold and bright, in a home that’s filled with love and hope and a life that just feels right.” PLEASE. PLEASE… I’m so fragile …… please … I feel like this one speaks for itself. And right after a line that so perfectly describes her home life while married to stan? I’m not well oh my god this is sick
#sorry I know these thoughts were all over the place and made no sense but when the song came on shuffle and I made the connection#I about died#every lyric here is so exactly her. it didn’t talk about every one (although I wanted to badly) because#it would have been me rambling about things that are very self explanatory I think - but I just had to get some kind of ramble out on this#I can’t deal with this one flaw of hers… I feel like it’s the type of thing you’d never expect from someone like her but oh boy.#she’s just :( she just wants to be loved. truly wholly loved#she’s not scary. shes not what people perceive her to be on the surface - she’s gentle & kind & so deeply fragile#the golden girls#dorothy zbornak#like she is the LAST person you’d expect to be taking back her lying cheating broke exhusband#she’s the kind of person to tell you NOT to do that!!!!! she’d KILL for you in a situation like that!!!!#but show her any kindness & she disregards every horrible thing about you. she yearns to feel loved so badly that in the moment#all that matters is the feeling that someone might actually love her.#there is also the connection to stan that I don’t think she’ll ever really be able to look past. which does unfortunately make sense to me#i mean. he’s the father of her children. she had to spend 38 years of her life with him - obviously that’s going to leave a scar#okay ramble over there are just so many thoughts but I’ve already started repeating things I’ve rambled on already 😭
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deus-ex-mona · 1 year ago
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s. s ave me, meoto…
#n o t me clinging to meoto to retain my sanity bc g o o d l o r d today was the worst#today was truly a very bad; very horrible day indeeeeeeed#man. today truly was a comedic tragedy in every way possible. i’d laugh if i were anyone else tbh#first i couldn’t start my workstation bc we were out of this cleaning acid thing.#t h e n this other branch lab sent over a precise amount of [reagent] that we needed to make the cleaning acid thing#*and* what’s worse was that they also demanded like. 1/5 of the acid we mixed. like bro. make it yourself mans.#but the worst part was when i tried to use a dropper to poke this sediment out of [tube i was supposed to be cleaning]#bUT THEN HALF OF THE DROPPER MELTED BC THAT BUGGER CAN’T HANDLE HIGH TEMPERATURES AAAAAAAAAAAAAA#stupid new droppers man. the old droppers could handle 100 degrees just fine. s o now the tube is clogged with melted plastic and it’s just.#life’s *really* great sometimes yk~~~~? (ʘ‿ʘ)#and so the night shift dude who came to take over the workstation against expectations seemed kinda pissed that i hadn’t started anything#and im just there. with my intestines wriggling about like internal abdominal worms. tryin not to cry in the face of my mistake.#while he’s fumin’ away like a freakin’ chimney or sth. like. man. no one asked you to take this workstation. you came here on your own. :(#anyway i ditched him and left for my break to calm myself down only to be approached by some random terribly lost middle aged to old lady#who was looking for directions to *somewhere* but she only spoke chinese aaaaaaaa#and i can’t read maps/i don’t even live in the area of my workplace so i have no idea if the lady managed to make it safely#but. lol. the lady showed me her message screen when she asked me for directions to her destination#and by pure coincidence the person she was texting is apparently related to someone with the same first name as me#the cons and cons of having common names man. i hope the lady managed to find her friend with the same name as me though lol#anyways. pls hw im begging. pls drop the crossfade for lxl birthday tmr i n e e d more meoto to carry on—#s o b s this is what im living for now ig. meoto………..
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angelstrawbabie420 · 6 months ago
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hmm i think i am not coping. very well
#i feel like ive hit a wall in my ability to handle anything and idk how to hold myself together anymore#i see myself spiraling terribly but i am so exhausted in every single way that i cannot bring myself to care#and it’s going to kill me one day but i cant even care abt that#july was so horrible. so so bad it’s the worst month ive had since my dad’s passing#i feel so incredibly empty and stagnant and stuck i feel like i am in a tar pit and ive been here before#but i no longer have the strength to claw myself out of it#nor the support of others (irl i love u mutuals)#i quite literally only have my brother at this point and with how physically abusive he can become it’s not like that’s a relationship i#truly feel supported and safe in but it’s all i have#ive always been isolated severely by my family + the Issues have always made socialization so exhausting#i feel like im just floating and no one knows me nor cares bc how can they. i either just push people away to avoid getting hurt or i dont e#even try. and when i want to it’s a task so daunting and draining#i don’t have it in me despite knowing the lack of human connection is absolutely destroying me and ripping me to shreds#despite knowing a community of some kind would help#but i also feel like i offer fucking nothing and am worthless so would i even accept the help given to me. probably not#i wish i wasnt so intense of a person in every single way. and yet i will never be enough either#i feel like ive been clinging and digging my claws into my sanity that was not really present in the first place#ive been put through so much i couldnt cope with so repeatedly and so young i think by the time i wqs 10 i had already hit a wall but you#cant just stop living so it’s only compounded on top of that#it feels unhealable it feels like just part of me now.#i see a complete absence of a future for myself and i have no one to stay alive for anymore#not my parents not my pets not my friends and i dont know how to stay alive for myself bc it’s not something ive ever wanted#idk anymore. ive never felt so utterly lost and alone and broken lmao.#no wonder this relapse has been so all-consuming#dlt ltr
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laniidae-passerine · 1 year ago
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Honestly I think Dean Highbottom has some shit to answer to as well. The mockery, the derision, the outright admittance that he was hoping Coriolanus would fail and the Snow family would continue to suffer. How someone who loathed the Games still treated a young man with cruelty because of the past, because of social divides that would be so easy to tear down. In the end, it wasn’t just Gaul who shaped Snow into the man he became. So bitter and hateful. So incapable of compassion and forgiveness. Just like his father. Just like his Dean.
#like yeah there were a lot of things questionable about Snow even before he was chosen as a mentor in the games#but like. damn. you didn’t even consider the idea he could be better than his father did you?#the way kindness could have unravelled some of the hate in Snow’s heart#listen to me tell you the horrible things your father did. listen to me tell you that you can be different. you are not the past.#the divides between us do not truly exist. look at the weapon in your hand. it is real. and it can do real damage#but if you never hate someone - if they never fool you into letting violence into your heart - they can never make you use it#it breaks my heart. how could you hate a ghost so much that you’d kill a child. I don’t know. but the Dean does. and so does Snow.#the cycles run and run until somebody stops. and burns some bread. and shares berries. and takes an arrow. and says no more. I love you#it is difficult. it could hurt me. it could be the very last thing I do. it may not even serve me well. but I love you. I love. always.#how pathetic hate makes you. how strong love makes you. like staring at the Dean and staring at characters like Haymitch#like two substance abusing men who know the system inside out. who are complicit. who are victims. both embittered and angry.#but one saw a child and decided to punish him for the past#and the other saw a child and decided - okay. it’s been 23 years. my heart hurts. I want to give in. I want to hate you. I want to not care.#I’m going to care anyway. I’m in so much pain. It’s killing me. I’m going to care anyway. about you both. it won’t be perfect. but I care.#and I’ll be here through hell. and I will fuck up. so fucking badly. because I’m still addicted and angry and god knows I have suffered.#god knows these hands are bloody and they always will be. but I will keep coming back. I will keep trying. I will still love.#and in the end I will write names in a book that belongs to you and I will find a little bit of peace in a house where the sun shines#and the geese make ridiculous noises in the yard. and love will have seen me through.#HAYMITCH YOU WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS I LOVE YOU MY IMPERFECT DARLING#dean highbottom#coriolanus snow#the hunger games#a ballad of songbirds and snakes#haymitch abernathy#thg#abosas#suzanne collins#SHE WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS
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cosmik-homo · 7 months ago
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Just realized- and God, I hope Mr Emmerich comes through with this- to me dragon age men are romantically about one thing and one thing only:
Getting annoyed by something they're up to and then they suddenly say the most vulnerable soft ass gentle lovely thing and I have to growl and go ougggghhhhh I CAN'T not cherish him
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jackass-jones · 11 months ago
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Posts about bpd need to stop being so damn relatable to me 🤨
#listen im not saying i must have bpd cuz of a bunch of relatable tumblr posts dont clutch your pearls on me#but hm im starting to get suspicious ajsjk#just been spending these past few months really digging into my deeply repressed memories and emotions and i keep discovering more and more#fucked up shit lol like first its being forced to acknowledge that i have a bit more than some ‘minor trauma’#and that ive actually just been like horribly abused like. my entire life and still am 😟#then it was like really trying to think about myself and what ive done to cope with abuse and like ive constructed an entire person#to just live as whenever im in the abusive situations and when i was removed from the situation for the first time ever#i had like a huge crash a huge crisis i both functioned way better than everyone said i would like suspiciously better#but also way worse at the same time#i could handle all the responsibilities of living alone i never once felt scared or homesick i was clean i was efficient i used money wisely#but i also felt like i was dying and i couldnt function when my persona dropped#cuz i didnt need to be that person anymore i could finally be me but then like. who even is me ive never gotten to find out#i dont know basic ways to behave i still have no clue how to exist or what i truly want vs what i pretended to want#its all completely muddled and its hard to explain that i cant tell whats genuine with me and whats fake#cuz ive been forced to live the fake shit my entire life you know? ive had to and i had to accept it#ive never gotten to make any of my own actual decisions and at the same time i have to decide everything for everyone else#im the parent of my parents but never was the child and the child is still there asking for attention but no one is there#then you know i had to return to the abuse and so its like i did get to taste freedom but not for long and i spent all my time in that#crisis mode so it wasnt exactly a fun filled time but being back here is much worse than before cuz now i know whats happening#and how i have to perform and its like how do i discover anything about myself in this kinda environment and no one understands the turmoil#the reason why something simple like wearing different shoes is so impossible for me#its just a horrible environment to be in i am in hell constantly ive no clue whats happening and im very obsessive over everything#aaaaghhhhhhh help girl help lol
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wulfhalls · 2 years ago
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criticalrolo · 2 years ago
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folks i have put in the legwork to try to understand the jgy apologist side of the fandom since that seems to be So Many People... I thought that maybe the tv show elevated his crimes to make it a more black and white villain situation but then I read what he does in the novels and it is WAY WORSE... i literally feel like it's 2012 and people are writing loki-style apologism for "his childhood was very sad (extremely true it was horrible) and that's why the crimes are okay (the crimes are so so many murders and SA because his feelings and desires are more important than People's Lives)"
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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OKAY THE JO ASK I MENTIONED
I'm working on next week's video and it's just like 8 Characters Appearing In Y8 or whatever, and there's a lot I've scrapped to keep it manageable, but obviously I re-listened to the teaser trailer and it got me thinking about Y8 Jo... as usual...
RGG's connection with reality is tenuous at best, but in the case of prison life especially, it's pretty obvious it's Mostly modeled off of movies and other media. Which is fine, RGG is more often than not actively "going for RGG-ism rather than realism" (per staff interview), but it does mean I'll be BSing my way through most of this ask <3
So unlike America, in Japan, inmates can't just make a list of people who can visit them (I would cry if that were the case). Only family, people connected to the case/law enforcement/civil servants, and people who need to consult them about personal matters with legal consequences (e.g. marriage, childcare, employment) can get in.
Friends and associates aren't generally barred from visitation, but Basically It's A Pain In The Ass that requires consistent correspondence to prove they know each other. On top of wardens summarily rejecting visitation requests they don't think will be Productive for the inmate, there's an additional challenge for someone like Ichi as people with criminal records are deemed Bad Influences and so face higher rates of rejection and letter confiscation.
Now. ABSOLUTELY none of this Actually Matters because we've seen Yasuko (who absolutely should have a right to visitation) get rejected and people who probably shouldn't have a right be able to get in. Most wardens don't actually do their jobs (either because they're corrupt or because they're My Man Kosaka From Y5). Because of that corruption, even if a big deal is made of it (50/50 on that), it shouldn't be too hard for someone like Ichi to arrange a visit. It's just down to whatever Yokoyama and co. think is the best for the story.
HOWEVER. It did get me thinking. Because even before I noticed it was Jo's voice, I noticed he definitely didn't sound surprised to see Ichi. He doesn't miss a beat greeting him. And "been a long time, Ichi" has some nuance to it for being such a simple phrase; if you're saying it, and you're Jo, you're not only not surprised to see Ichi, but also the one who's starting the conversation proper and in control of the conversation, whether Ichi knows it or not. At least that's how it's been used so far and how it's generally used in media.
So it's like, What's The Circumstance Here where Ichi is not only able to meet him but Jo also isn't surprised... are you playing it cool... are you gonna be cunty... have you been writing/calling so you know to expect it... do you have other reasons to expect it... If I May Dream A Moment are you meeting outside of prison, so Ichi's the one who's caught by surprise...
This literally isn't even Anything for how long this ask is lol sorry I'm just. Yeah. I am once again Thinking
nothin like a lil thinkin while we wait for more lad8 news yk..... im an encourager of it hell yeah.......
#snap chats#speaking of Videos From Yourself am i heinous to ask what happened to that one tsutsumi vid - unless i just. missed it ☠️#tumblr loves hidin posts from me.. unless THAT video is THIS one but either way im interested to see this vid youre talkin bout#anyway i need to get away from my tablet the temptation to light my stylus on fire is immense i feel soooooo Detached rn#but my pyromania aside yaryar ive considered the circumstances surroundin jo and ichis Supposed reunion as implied by the trailer#so funny i was just talkin bout that bit with star lmao but anyhow#ill be utterly gobsmacked shocked in the dick if jo is out of jail in 8 but rggs done more Baffling things#jos timbre when greeting ichi could due to apathy or de to familiarity- arguably the same thing but i know them to be different in my soul#i dont think its an apathetic Hello tho so def seems like hes expectin jo for one reason or another#or. hes the one visiting ichi. in the My Dick's Been Shocked timeline where jo gets out#all that can be done at this point is to wonder-- ouuugh can next year get here already#i feel like ive been saying that everyday lmao but i truly must have this game in front of my eyeballs i just wanna knOW#too many questions too many wonders i wanna see them now before the compulsion to light myself on fire with this candle wins#much to think bout..#on that note im gonna get away from my tablet so i dont catch THAT on fire and im just gonna stare at this candle until uhh idk when i slee#forgive my lackluster response. ive been very lackluster as of late i fear (´▽`;;)#i keep saying 'forgive me' yet i continue to be lame im horrible (¯x¯;;;;)
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