#it took over 2 months to get here from the uk 😭😭

[jakeabel]

fall out boy - sugar we’re goin down (2006)

[bluestjayy]

We're making some progress 😭

So in the 4 years since I last lived in my home town I was diagnosed with both ADHD and Autism - I'd been on ADHD medication for approximately 2 years before there was a fuck up with my care provider

The TL;DR is that because of how fucked the UK system is for adult ADHD care, you have to sit under a specialist but they can 'share-care' with your GP after a certain length of time to make getting prescriptions and such easier. My specialist 'discharged' me to this shared care almost a year ago but never bothered sending any of my paperwork to my GP, which means they had no record of my diagnosis or what medication I needed, and I'd been running in circles trying to get that information in writing. Then I moved back to my hometown because I lost my jobs and-- that brings us to now.

With the help of a friend who took the wheel when I was so overwhelmed and hopeless I was about to give up and accept maybe I had to go the rest of my life being unmedicated and struggling, I got my hands on all my medical records from the previous clinician and was able to bring them to my new GP here in my hometown.

The fight isn't over. I've been told to get back on medication in going to have to go through a new specialist service to become a patient there and the chances are they're going to want to take me through the diagnosis process all over again (which took 18 months last time I got my diagnosis) regardless of the fact I have it in writing that I am already diagnosed and was stable on medication for 2 years.

But it's progress. They gave my records and they've made the referral. I just have to wait for next steps.

And an even bigger win (not to air all my business in Tumblr but those who follow me know this is my vent into the void space) I asked to be put back on anti-depressants. I was also on those for about two years before I was advised to go off them just over a year ago because I appeared stable enough. But I don't feel stable anymore. It was hard, admitting that I needed them again, but I think I did the right thing, and the next step is getting myself some counselling while I live here.

Being back in my hometown and living with my parents, closeted and unemployed and detached from all my irl friends and generally my life completely uprooted and rewritten from what I wanted it to be has been... So tough.

But I'm fighting. I am doing everything I can to make sure I get to live to see the day where I get to go back to the life I was living. Where I get to live a new life, where in thriving not just surviving.

I guess that's why I wanted to vent on here today as well because I know. A lot of the posts I throw into the void like this are so negative and today we. I took a step towards something positive.

I'm getting there, I think.

I'm going to be okay. One day. Maybe not immediately. But eventually.

[sylvinuk-turkey]

So Saturday was our final vacation day but it was our travel day. And due to the craziness of travel, the craziness of Sunday with getting back and jet-lag, this post is a little bit delayed.

Saturday, we woke up around 8a Istanbul time (10 hours ahead of pacific time). We finished packing, finished shutting Gokay’s parents apartment, since they wouldn’t be back for another month or so. This included turning off the water, so we had to take showers and use toilets first. We also took out the trash and made sure we didn’t leave anything. By 9:30 we were out the door and in a cab to the new Istanbul airport. This is the first time I have been to this airport as all other flights have been out of the Asia side airport (Sabiha Gokchen).

Pulling into the airport, it’s clearly a large and newly built airport with a huge mosque out front. The taxi driver was pulled over at a checkpoint and the trunk was open (security 1). Im counting because we went through soooooo much security which was astonishing to me.

Once we paid the cab driver we entered the airport. As with all other Istanbul flights, there’s a checkpoint right as you enter the front door. This line took about 15-20 minutes. You don’t have to take anything out of your bag, but you do have to take off your jacket, take out anything in your pockets, belt and anything metal (Fitbit).

Next we made our way to check-in. Which we were very nervous about based on our experience from London where we could only take one bag even though we read online we get one bag and one personal item (turns out we weren’t crazy, the site did say that, we took a screenshot this time in case we were given any issues). So, we got to the area for check-in and we actually were able to do a self check-in and never saw a single person. So no bag issues… yet. So we still had some concerns.

Then we headed toward “regular” security… quotes because nothing was regular about this security experience 😬🙃. Gokay headed off to the e-check for Turkish citizens which would have been faster than the actual experience we had, but sadly the technology didn’t work right and his fingerprints on one hand didn’t match the system. So he had to get back into the everyone line. So for this security experience started with a ticket check line (security 2). This line took about 20 minutes. Once your ticket is scanned, you get pushed into lines to get your passport checked (security 3). This line has about 15-20 people in front of me, but it took about 30-45 minutes. Next you’re pushed into the bag check, which you have to take out laptops, toiletries/liquids, etc. This line was the worst of all! It was about 5 wrap arounds and then it split into a line for each belt & scanner. This took over an hour. Total it was about a 1.5+ hour experience, good thing we got there 3+ hours early, there were at least two sets of people who clearly hadn’t and pushed their way to the front of the lines. Because Gokay and I went into separate lines, we had to go through all of this separately. So we met on the other side.

At that point since we hadn’t eaten breakfast it was time for lunch. So we got some sandwiches and drinks at one of the counters since we weren’t sure what would be available later. We decided to take it to the gate and eat there. However, turns out, unlike airports I’m used to where the seating is open, all gates were closed with glass walls. And our gate wasn’t open yet… so we had to get in line. So we sat on the ground and ate. 😭

About 15 minutes later, the gate was open, and here we met security 4-6! lol Turns out certain countries (e.g., UK) don’t trust the Turkish security - Gokay asked. So first we went through the ticket/passport check, checking we were supposed to be on this flight (security 4). Next our ticket and passport were checked and stamped (security 5). Then finally (security 6), supposedly randomly, they opened up our suitcases and bags, wiped them down with the paper to check for residue, and also wanded us down to check we were carrying anything.

Finally we got to sit, and finish our sandwiches/food. We sat for awhile and turns out our flight was 30-40 minutes delayed. At the original leave time (1:05p) we started boarding, and left closer to 2p, which was longer than the 40 minute delay. I was very nervous about making our 2.5 hour layover at this point.

Flight was an easy 2.5 hours to Heathrow. We slept most of it.

We got in around 3:30p London time with a 5:30p flight. Luckily, it seems we made up some of the lost/delayed time. Then we had to get from terminal 2 to terminal 3. This was pretty easy, but it was far so it took awhile, walking to a bus shuttle, then to security checkpoint (security 7). This one, being an international flight transfer point was meagerly manned, so even with 10 people in front of us it took almost 45 minutes! At this point we basically rushed to our gate, with a quick stop at the Virgin info desk who couldn’t help us to get seats together since check-in had closed by that point. So we made our way to the gate which was through a lot of duty free corridors and at the end of a terminal wing… sooooo much walking/running.

We were lucky that went we got to the gate we were able to ask again to see if we could be sat together, and since they had to check our passports anyway since we came from another flight, they were able to seat us together and in a row that didn’t have anyone else again! Woot!

This flight was long! I didn’t sleep as much because I was trying to wait until night in SF (landed at 8:30p PT). So it was a lot of tv watching with some dozing off here and there towards the end. Luckily they served food and/or drinks 5 times throughout the flight. First drinks, then dinner with drinks, then a snack, then coffee/tea, then finally “English tea” which was basically a scone with clotted cream and jam, as well as two finger sandwiches and a chocolate. We made it home, but we had to go through one more “security” with customs. I have global entry so it took me maybe a minute to get through. Gokay took about 35 minutes. Luckily throughout this whole day, because we packed light, and knew we might have some trouble with transfers, we didn’t check any bags. So we went right to the curb and got an Uber, headed to Gokay’s place and got his car and headed to mine. Finally getting to crash around 10:30p pt. We luckily slept through the night!

Sunday was spent doing laundry and grocery shopping and chilling because jet-lag hit hard, I took about an hour nap took Heading to bed a little early, and hoping this week back at work isn’t too bad.