#it took her like 6 days to GET AN IV DRIP

[bookishforce]

it's been a week das for sure

[humunanunga]

top surgery

The morning of the surgery, I woke up a few minutes before my first alarm clock. It was set for 6:00am, like the day before when I had to make sure I was dressed in time for the drive to my pre-op appointment a two-hour drive away. But my ride, my medical power of attorney, my secondhand family, had his alarm clock set for 6:15. So I waited until his went off too so he'd have a chance to brush his teeth before I washed the incision area one more time with the special cleanser. Forgetting I didn't need to wash my hair this time, since I already did the night before, my shower was shorter than planned, and so we still had time to idle before driving the scenic route to the surgery center.

More time to hype up my friends, and more time for them to hype me up.

9:30am finally arrived, and so had we. The door was still locked ten minutes later, so I called the office and the voice on the other end said they'd let the nurse know we were here. My driver and I were let in, I changed into the hospital gown, minutes passed as more doctors trickled in against the weekday morning traffic. They took my heart rate, my blood pressure, a urine sample, and the first doctor tried to install the IV needle into my left hand. She had difficulty chasing my vein, which can happen when patients have to abstain from food and drink before surgery. Needles didn't usually affect me, but hunger and dehydration probably made me more sensitive, because I did get woozy. The anesthesiologist ended up getting it done in a few quick motions on the right hand, taping it securely in place and running me through all the risks of anaesthesia and all the factors that made it more likely I'd wake up nauseous. And the surgeon quizzed me on the prescriptions she'd listed for me the day before, and what to do about the binder (leave it alone). At my request, my dad-in-spirit stepped out for a moment while she drew lines on my skin.

And then I was ready.

And finally, the surgeons were ready.

I was led into a spacious operating room, and I asked if I needed to strip down before getting on. They said I didn't, that they'd take care of that. So I stepped on, they covered my legs in a blanket since the room was chilly. I took note of their caps, one with a pig print on it and another with Carebears. I could hear a loud whirring from a machine somewhere out of my periphery while they finished hooking me up, putting an oxygen mask on me, telling me to take deep breaths.

They warned me earlier that the IV drip may sting, but I didn't feel that. What I did feel was the anaesthesia taking effect, so I said goodnight, I'll seeya later.

…

I remember going under. I remember a vague sense of the passage of time, like when you take a nap on the couch with the TV on but don't remember what you were thinking about whenever you wake up.

It took a lot of insistent pestering to wake me, and at first I thought it was my driver trying to wake me. But then I remembered where I was, and I started to respond. Everything felt heavy and cold, but someone put some kind of heater under my legs and it felt so good to warm up again. I was shivering intensely, but the doctors were patient and helped me into the soft pajamas I brought. Pajamas my roommate gave me.

The nausea never came, and when I had tomato soup for lunch and the potato soup for dinner, I couldn't imagine anything tasting better. I was able to take my first post-op selfie as promised on the way back to the hotel room, where one of my dear friends had sent me flowers. Everyone congragulated me, but once I made it back to the bed with the neck pillow, chest pillow and sleep mask from my roommate and her mother, I was only awake again to eat, drink, take pills or watch day become sunset become night.

And I felt so, so loved.

The the sutures holding my grafts in place and the (admittedly itchy) binding over them were removed this week, and the surgeon was delighted to see how well my nipples were healing this early on. I was still pretty tired from how early I had to wake up for the drive to my post-op appointment, but I was giddy seeing my bare chest in the mirror for the first time.

And, so, here I am now. Still under the care of my roomie, my friends and my family while I wait for mobility in my arms to come back. Able to shower again, as long as I follow instructions. Caring for the incision sites while they heal. Tingling the same way skin does when feeling comes back after escaping the cold. And safe from sweating into a binder through any more summers.

For transparency, it may be worth mentioning that I have a history of ideal health. Compared to my brother, my driver and my friends, I'm lucky that I haven't even had any side-effects to deal with. No post-anaesthesia high or nausea, no pain even when I tested out going off the prescriptions. But there's already enough horror stories out there to fearmonger transness with, or to prepare for all the risks and worst-case scenarios; so how about a happy ending to cleanse the palate with this time.

[jeyramarie]

You and me?- Alice Chambers x Reader (Part 10) Finale

summary: in Alice we trust

wc: 1,345

warning: mentions of blood, mentions of kidnapping, cursing, abusive relationship, attempted murder, attempted drowning

a/n: and this the finale of this wonderful fic!! thank you to all my loyal readers and i'm so so sorry it took a bit to finish :( it's a bit short but i think it's the closure we all wanted considering how it ended in the film!

anyways, thank you for all the love and happy reading 🦋

Part 1~ Part 2~ Part 3~ Part 4~Part 5~ Part 6~ Part 7~ Part 8~ Part 9~

I whimpered in pain as William pulled me down the hill towards the car. My feet burned against the hot sand. He muttered insults under his breath as his grip became tighter the more I tried to get away from him. 

“I’m gonna fucking kill you.” He said with gritted teeth. “Do you have any idea what this caused me?!” 

William shouted, shaking me violently. “This is going to fucking ruin us… Do you not care about that?! Huh?! Do you feel proud about what you just did?!”

I lazily looked at him and spat on his face, making him lose his grip on one of my arms. “Fuck you.” I whispered. 

A familiar sting crept on my cheek before he gripped my jaw, making me look at him. His eyes were shielded with anger. 

“She won’t find you.” William muttered with gritted teeth before releasing my face to push me towards the passenger side of the car. “You’re gonna be stuck here forever.” 

“I will make every day for you a living hell.” I spat and he pushed me into the passenger’s seat. He slammed the door shut and walked around the car before getting in, immediately pulling out a gun, pointing it directly to my head. William drove like a mad man. Like he already knew what to do once we got home. But all I could do was wonder how Alice was doing. 

The second she left Victory, she sat up gasping for air before looking around in confusion. Jack laid beside her, surrounded by blood. The room was cold and quiet. She looked down at her arms and noticed the bruises as well as the IV drip which she took out immediately. Alice swung her legs over the bed, feeling dizzy as she stood up. Her legs wobbled as she crashed into everything in her way, attempting to reach Jack’s computer. Her vision was a bit blurry and she rubbed her eyes before searching for me on her email. 

All that came up was work related information from the hospital and that gave her an idea. Alice stood from the chair and looked for her phone. It took rummaging all over the apartment to finally find it inside Jack’s sock drawer. Her hands shook as she rummaged through her contacts to find me. 

‘Y/n <3’ it read and a victorious grin appeared on her face. 

A small voice in the back of her head told her to call the number. ‘Maybe someone would answer the phone’ Alice thought to herself. Even she knew that William was in the simulation as well. A part of her heart just hoped someone would answer.  

The phone rang. And rang. And rang. No one answered. But just as her memories came back, she remembered that my location was on her phone. We had decided to do that after our first night out. In case of emergencies. 

Alice looked around on almost every app until she saw it. With blurry eyes, she clicked and saw my picture popped up a few blocks down. There I was. All this time, just 20 minutes away. The blonde stumbled over and grabbd her robe, sliding into her slippers before slowly making her way down the stairs. She winced when the laight of day reached her eyes. It has been years since she stepped outside. Everything was different. Everything was… modern… new. 

A familiar yellow car came into view, making her reach out her arm as she waved for attention. Luckily, a cab pulled over in front of her, allowing Alice to climb inside as she desperately shouted the address. 

“Please be alone, please be alone.” The blonde muttered to herself as the cab got closer to my apartment. 

I was forcefully pushed into the house when Alice arrived. William had a deadly grip on my arm as I fought against it. The house felt hot and heavy. It felt tense. 

“Let go of me!” I shouted, holding onto the bedroom door as he continued to pull me. 

“Shut up.” He groaned in anger, pulling me inside the bedroom which caused me to fall on our carpeted floor. 

‘Our’, it wasn’t ‘our’ anything. It was ‘his’, ‘mine’, but it was never ‘ours’. The whole thing was ‘his’. ‘His’ plan, ‘his’ house, ‘his’ car, ‘his’ control. 

William closed his fist around my hair, pulling me across the floor as I moved my feet violently, attempting to get away. I shouted in pain… and fear. He was probably going to kill me and Alice wasn’t going to find me in time. The bathtub was already full. I remembered that I was planning on taking a bath before this mess happened. Before this chaos started. 

“No… no.. William, no.” I cried as he continued to pull me closer. I knew his intentions. I knew what he was planning on doing. He was going to drown me. 

He let go of my hair and turned my body, making me lay on my back as he stood over me. “Ungrateful whores need to learn… the fucking hard way.” William mumbled. “She’s not gonna find you, Y/n.” 

He pulled me towards the tub, pushing me to kneel beside it before pulling my arms to my back as he pushed my head under the water. The movement was too quick for me to catch a breath and my body moved violently as I attempted to get out of his grip. My screams echoed into the water as it continued to fill up my lungs. 

My chest burned in desperation as it yearned for oxygen every passing second. I threw my hands back, making my nails scratch into his skin, trying to pull him away. My body was turning numb, my head was hazy as I felt myself slip away. I suppose Alice didn’t make it in time. Maybe my apartment was locked and she took a long time to open the-

I suddenly lifted my head, catching a big breath as I felt life fill my lungs once again. The bathtub was gone and I was dry, sitting on my bed with my hands and feet tied up. William laid unconscious next to me with blood dripping down on the mattress. A pair of soft hands cupped my cheeks, turning to face to see Alice. She actually made it. She saved me. 

“Can you hear me?” She asked as her voice broke and I nodded. “Are you okay?” 

“You found me.” I muttered, looking around in disbelief. “You actually found me.” 

“I wasn’t going to rest until I did.” Alice shook her head, wiping her tears away. “What did he do to you?” 

“He was trying to drown me and I-” I sobbed, taking my hand out of the restraint. “I thought you weren’t gonna find me.” 

“I wasn’t going to stop until I did.” The blonde shook her head and sniffled before pulling me towards her. 

“Please help me get out of this.” I mumbled, signalling to my ankles that reamined attached to a belt. Alice pulled the restraint off of me and helped me stand up as I stumbled over everything.

“Let’s go, come on.” She said as we both walked out of the apartment, stumbling down the stairs into the sidewalk where I saw sunlight after God knows how long. 

We walked down to the alleyway where she searched a bag left on the ground and found a few 20 dollar bills. Probably for a taxi. 

“Taxi!” she shouted, sticking her hand on before the yellow car came into view. Alice turned around and pulled by hand, carefully putting inside as she climbed after me. “The nearest hospital, please.” 

"Alice, no-”

“We have to… we don’t know what they did to us..” She whispered and took my hand as I laid my head on her shoulder. Maybe it was my body’s exhaustion, but my eyelids got heavy. 

“You and me?” I heard Alice whisper, causing me to look up at her before leaning in to peck her jaw. 

“Always, you and me.”

florence taglist: @flosbelova @kassies-take @ideas-for-you-to-adopt @florencestann1234 @freewaysigns-underpasses @snooy245 @wandanatvoid @gay-vet-student @yelenabelovastolemyheart @marvelwomen-simp @simpforflorencepugh @laaurel @yelenabelovasbxtch @geico-insuranc @oh-its-jennyyy @bandit2029 @youresuchamom @simpforyelenabelova @omega-horus @sat-yrr @alwaysbimyself-blog @girraffy @froufrousnowman @slytherinchevy @randombush3 @dumb-fawkin-bitch @rob1nbuckl3ys @xsophiesx @karsonromanoff @imkikibtw @natashas-soul @monstermunchies69 @cmfouatslota77 @maxmayfieldsrealgf1986 @champagneneen @zendayabelova @finelineskies @padf00ts-l0ver @mrswidowjohansson @eddiemunson4ever @mrs-johansson @nclgsticore @igotmajordaddyissues @lovelyy-moonlight @kamala-khann @lovemesomemaura @lizziebemymommy @chaos-in-person 

[axcel-lucci]

Secret...?

Trafalgar Law x fem!reader

Part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, this is part 5, part 6, part 7

The next day, Lucifer woke up really early to go see (y/n) and prepare for teleportation.

"How's my sweet little starling?" Lucifer muttered as he walked up to the bed.

Law looked up at Lucifer with a hum, "you're up and early" he smirked as Lucifer nodded

"How is she...? Is she... Alright?" He asked as Law looked over

He nodded, "yeah. Her vitals are functioning as they should, nothing out of the ordinary."

"How long do you think will take her to heal? I mean it's in her heart and all that..."

"Well..." Law hummed as he thinks for a second, "I'm guessing a week, if she let herself heal, you know... Without any trouble? But it might take another week if she can't help but be confined in bed for so long... I'm already seeing her using her cute eyes to let me get her out of bed..."

"That is so her..." Lucifer chuckled, "why don't you tell your crew to get ready? You guys should be ready as teleportation isn't exactly a thing for humans."

"Oh, I teleport them a lot."

"Oh-ho? What type?"

"When I punish them, they're a little... You know... They love pranks" law chuckled making Lucifer laugh

"You know, I like you already. I don't mind you marrying my daughter... But I don't know about Dice though, he's hard to please..." Lucifer muttered, "imagine it literally took me two decades to court him. But, I'm sure he was just being cautious before agreeing on our first date."

Law smiled softly, "I see.... What do you think would impress him?"

"Let me think..." Lucifer closed his eyes before humming, "he loves (y/n) more than anything... I don't know, actually..."

...

"Are you all ready?" Lucifer muttered as Law nodded

"We are." Law said before pausing, "wait... Wouldn't it be dangerous to transport an unconscious person?"

"Don't worry... I would never harm (y/n)" Lucifer smiled as Law sighed but nodded again.

...

From Lucifer's hands, a book has been summoned.

The book had a dark blue hard cover with gold details that spells out random words, shapes, and numbers. Lots of book marks and feathers on its rather old pages, Lucifer flips through it as he nods and hands the book to Dice who took it and capsulated it into a bubble as he made it go away in a clink.

"Alright..." Lucifer breathes in and closed his eyes, chanting words that aren't even human as his voice starts to glitch and distort with every passing second.

Law looks around and sure enough, the world around them darkens, it's like he's using his "shambles" technique when he first learned how to use it on people.

The place soon brightened and they were now inside a rather big medical room, bigger than the one before, with much more heavy duty equipment only Law dreamed of seeing.

"Alright." Dice hums as he hooked (y/n) up into some of the machines.

One of which is a heart monitor that rates the heart beat as well as determining if the heart is on its "natural" beats per second.

And so far, (y/n)'s heart is beating a bit abnormally due to the stitches in her heart. Though Dice claims it's the heart adjusting and healing itself.

Then, he also hooked (y/n) up with some IV drip so that even if (y/n) sleeps for a month, she'd be perfectly healthy. Well not exactly healthy but healthy enough to not be malnourished.

"There... All done..." Dice smiled as Lucifer had to sit down to deal with the migraine that comes with teleporting a ton of people and a sub, "do you need some water, my love?" Dice smiles as he offered Lucifer a glass of water in which Lucifer smiles and takes said water and drinking it

"Thank you..." He smiled at Dice before dice leaned down to kiss Lucifer's head

"Stay here, I'll get you some warm compress." Dice smiled as Lucifer hummed with a nod, "also... You guys should wait for me in the dining room, I need to tell you guys something." He instructed law

"But where is it...?" Law mumbled as he stared at the window, only to see a winter wonderland outside.

The whole island blanketed under a thick layer of snow, big trees surrounding the whole island, and in the distance, a rather large city can be seen, as well as some factories and well sustained farms.

"Just... Hmm... Maria" Dice called a maid in, "can you please show them to the dining room? I'll be there with them, I just need to take care of Luci..."

"Yes, master..." The maid bowed and turned to Law and the crew, "please follow me."

"Don't worry, Maria will take good care of you." Dice smiled brightly.

The crew walked through the long and wide halls of the... Place?

It looked like a palace on the inside, but the level of things on the outside didn't seem like it.

The maid, named Maria, noticed their concern and confusion, "we are inside one of the Farcia group's manor, this island is also owned by them to manufacture and create various products such as liquor and wine." She explains as she stops in front of double doors, "don't worry... Other than the maids, the butlers, and the masters themselves, there's no one here to harm you. Considering the masters brought you here themselves."

Law hummed as he looked around and saw a rather big painting while Maria was speaking

"Say... What painting is that?" Law asked as soon as Maria stopped talking

"Do you wish to take a look? You could, but do be advised to never touch it, master Dice doesn't like his artworks getting dirty." Maria advised with a nod.

The crew rambled over to see the painting and lo and behold, it was a big family portrait.

Of (y/n), Dice, and Lucifer.

(Y/n) wore some sort of... Suit with a red fur cape, Lucifer wore a black suit with a trench coat on his shoulders, whilst Dice wore a simple suit as well with a furry coat over his shoulders.

All looked equally important and scary, but not as much as (y/n) looked... She was serious, not a trace of any expression... It was making law... Feel stuff he had never felt before.

Like he yearned to see this side, he was curious? Was he intrigued? His interest piqued?

Either way, Law is now more than determined to marry her... To him, she looks like a goddess...

....

Waiting for dice only took about 12 minutes since he had to give Lucifer some tablets and medication as well as a glass of water, considering Lucifer is like a big baby when extremely tired.

As soon as he walked in, all eyes were on him. Expecting him to speak as he walked over to the end of the table where a single chair sits.

The table was big and long, as if it was made specifically for a banquet.

"Alright everyone, listen here..." Dice calls, "I need to know... Are you all alright to staying here until (y/n) heals up entirely? I wish not to hold you all back in your adventures, considering you've had quite the appearance back in Sabaody."

"What appearance?" Bepo mumbled as Dice hummed

"You don't know?" He tilts his head in confusion, "every newspaper company in this world has made a great deal of article regarding the three rookie pirates, monkey D. Luffy, Eusstass Kidd, and finally, Trafalgar Law. Even the steambird has a rather exaggerated headline about it."

"Oh... That..." Law muttered, "but then... If we stay, would (y/n) be able to heal up properly without any repercussions?"

"That is a 90 percent guarantee; remember, we worked on a weak heart. Who knows what could happen. But knowing (y/n), I'm sure a few stitches in the heart is small..." Dice sighed, "and yes... Hopefully, (y/n) would listen and stay herself."

"What...?" Ikkaku mumbled, "so... (Y/n) could die?!"

"Possible... But as both her dad and doctor, I would not let her die. Though I'm sure she'd frown and curse me a few times... But she's always like that." Dice hummed softly, "though... I'm not sure if she'd be happy to know we're in the land where she grew up..."

"Why wouldn't she? She grew up here...?"

"Well... There are things meant to be left in the dark... You can ask her if you want, but... Let's just say there are times (y/n) would lie through her teeth and make it believable. I guess those are one of the many skills I taught her growing up..." Dice muttered.

"What else did you teach her?" Bepo asked innocently

"Mostly on Lucifer, since I've always been in the lab... Lucifer has always been with (y/n). I bet he knows everything about her growing up, considering they think alike and it's scary that they do." Dice shrugs

"Why would that be scary?" Ikkaku asks, tilting her head a bit

"Remember Lucifer being rumoured to have killed and destroyed a whole island all by himself and his own intuition? Yeah... I'm sure (y/n) could do so much more considering they almost think alike, but (y/n)... She doesn't hold back. She never does... If you're in a duel with her, she wouldn't honestly care if you're a friend or foe. As long as you fight against her, it's her against you." Dice sighed, "honestly... What was Luci feeding her...?"

"Just some books she found and asked me about" Lucifer smiled as he walked in, "and don't worry... I never feed her anything that isn't on a human's diet. I mean she did eat sand once... And maybe... Uhm... Drank a few poison... Drugs... Party drugs... Uhm..."

"You... WHAT?!" Dice yelled as he snapped at Lucifer, "WHY THE FUCK SOULD YOU GIVE HER FUCKING DRUGS?! A HUMAN CAN DIE FROM THOSE!!"

"Eh-... Uh..." Lucifer started sweating

"and on top of that, you let her eat sand and drink POISON?! WHAT THE FUCK?!"

"What? What?? Can you blame me?? I have no idea how to raise a HUMAN child!! I was raised drinking poison, eating acid for dinner, smoking blunts, and even... Fucking-- ate drugs like they were candy! How am I supposed to know that humans and demons are no different??" Lucifer said, kind of frustrated at such facts

Dice sighed, frustration clearly etching away at his consciousness; "atleast tell me you didn't teach her how to smoke a blunt..."

Lucifer hummed as he looked away, a clear sign that he did.

Dice slammed a hand on the table causing it to shake, "you let her eat sand, drink POISON, and even gave her drugs... And now you're telling me you TAUGHT HER HOW TO SMOKE A FUCKING BLUNT?!"

"So what?! I didn't know it wasn't normal for humans! I'm not even human! YOU'RE not around much yourself!" Lucifer snapped before sighing, "sorry... It's just... You know... While she's growing up, I researched on a few things... Finding out that human females are the most vulnerable to any type of attack there is... So... I tried to... You know... Make her at least susceptible to some of it... Hopefully the party drugs and poison."

"That doesn't explain you having to give her those. That could've killed her!"

"I- I know... But... What can I do? I know I won't be able to be there for her all her life. And I think her being away for almost five years already told you that. And you know how humans are, they're perceptive as they are slick. You know that yourself, don't you??" Lucifer reasoned as Dice sighed

Dice just dragged Lucifer out of the room to possibly argue with him some more.

And yet they did, arguing just right outside the door.

The crew can hear, of course both were reasonable... But both were also wrong...

Dice was almost never around so Lucifer had to do something he didn't know could kill humans, Lucifer didn't call Dice for help or even ask when he IS around...

Both arguments were reasonable and understandable but... Both were also wrong.

"Do you think... They'll ever make up...?" Bepo asked, "do you think (y/n) would be happy if they didn't?"

"What are you saying, Bepo?? I'm... I'm sure they'll make up." Klione muttered, "and I think (y/n) wouldn't be quite happy either, they both sound good parents... But also pretty messed up"

"They're gang leaders, one is a demon from hell and the other is a mad scientist... And they have a child." Law mutters, "but... I feel like (y/n) still loves her parents... I'm sure of it"

"Captain..."

"I know (y/n) will always love those around her... Even if they hurt her..." Law frowns.

_______

@jadedrrose it's kinda short(?) Cause I'm posting this at exactly 5 am ahhahah haven't slept yet

[copiousloverofcopia]

Hello Ghesties!

I am not going to lie to you all. This one is absolutely going to hurt. I will add a potential trigger warning below. Thank you all for reading my work and I hope you enjoy the sheer angst to come!

TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️Discussion about Pregnancy termination/Abortion⚠️

*Special shoutout to @gothdaddyissues for the awesome dividers!

Something Blue

Sister of Sin Astrid is anything but excited for Cardinal Copia to return home from tour. As his assistant, she leads a life of monotony and boredom from which she longs for more. When the Cardinal returns, anointed as Papa Emeritus IV, she is faced with an unwanted and unavoidable situation predicated on her family’s position within the church. Will Astrid rise to what has been asked of her or will she destroy everything and leave it all behind?

Chapter 6: Something Real

Also available HERE on AO3. Haven’t started yet? Start from the beginning HERE!

Definitely NSFW below the cut!!

The second-floor bathroom had never felt so cold. Deep in a long-abandoned section of the Ministry, now reserved mostly for storage, was the sound of a dripping sink. The deafening droplets, setting Astrid’s nerves on fire. Waiting for the cursed plastic stick to decide her fate.

She was already certain what it would say. Still deep down she prayed to Lucifer that she was wrong. That the suspicions growing ever since that night at dinner were her own anxiety and fear taking their toll. Each moment was torture, especially around Copia. Dying inside as she hid it all from him, the pain, the struggle, and the constant worry. 

She knew that her own reaction to this “blessed event” was met with fear and anger—something quite different from how he would take it. Her heart ached to think of it. The sheer elation and excitement Copia was sure to have towards the news. Only to be told it was ill-fated—not meant to be. 

It's almost over, she told herself. It had been a grueling week, and she was acutely aware that the moment she was chosen and announced as Prime Mover that all eyes were on her every move. Thankful to have managed to get a ghoulette to get one for her. Sneaking it in with her change of linens like some prisoner, just before the headed off to evening Mass. 

She took in a deep breath, gripping tightly to the stick before turning it over. Her vision focused on the two bright blue lines staring back at her. Astrid felt the air leave her lungs, like the world was crumbling around her. Crushed by this tiny thing—signaling her downfall. 

It was as loud and glaring as the trumpets of Heaven, said to sound at the end of the world. For Astrid, this was the end of the world. Tears, falling over her cheeks as she slid down the back of the bathroom door. The stick, still in her hands. Wishing she could wipe away that second line without ever having known it was there at all.

“Finalmente è finita.” Copia sighed, finishing up his filings for the Ministry expenses. The roller of the old cabinet drawer, catching as it always did. Eliciting a grumble, and a few curses, under his breath as he lifted it up and shoved it forcefully back in. Thankful that he was finally able to put that task to rest.  

He noticed that he was more impatient as of late. His patience for life's little inconveniences was wearing thin as his mind was always fixated on Astrid. Even before that night at dinner, he felt like something was going on with her. And after all he had seen and heard, his conclusion had been the only thing he could make logical sense of. Hoping that if it were true, she would tell him in time. 

Though as the days passed, and the night of the Prime Mover ritual drew nearer, Astrid hadn’t said a word. Copia was beginning to wonder if he had imagined it in his head. That all the signs and symptoms he had seen when one of the other sisters of sin had fallen pregnant, weren’t the same ones he had noticed with Astrid. Little did he know, he would get his answer that afternoon. 

Copia sat down at his desk, stretching back into his chair. His decidedly aching bones, cracking and popping at his change in position. Resigned to find something else to occupy his mind when he heard a knock at the door. Reluctantly he called in whomever was on the other side, not bothering to hide his annoyance with the audible groan in his voice. Surprised and thrilled however when it was Astrid’s face that came peering through the crack. 

“I am not interrupting anything am I?” she asked him, slowly coming through the doorway after verifying that the coast was clear. Glad that there was no one else there to witness them.  

“No, not all cara. Come in please, sit.” he told her, rising from his desk to meet with her on the large, black leather sofa across the room. Watching her face for any signs that might alert him as to why she was there. 

“I hope you are having a good afternoon.” she began, the odd pleasantries noted as Copia watched her fiddling with the hem of her habit. The low hum of Abbey lives, just discernible from the closed window. All of them blissfully unaware of the turmoil she was enduring. 

“I am, and the same for you I hope?” he asked her. Astrid felt short of breath. The weight of her news, heavy and unrelenting. She tried her best to ease into things, but she just couldn’t. 

“Copia—we need to talk.” she explained. 

“Ok.” he said. Smiling as he scooted close beside her. “I am all yours.” he told her. Watching as the weariness became more and more apparent on her face. Astrid, clearing her throat and doing all she could to hold back her tears. “Is everything alright?” 

“No…no it's not alright.” she sniffled back. Her body, stiff and tightening up all around. Curling in on itself like she wanted to ball up and disappear.

“What's wrong?”

“I'm pregnant.” she confessed. The words barely audible though Copia heard them loud and clear. He had been waiting for them and now they had finally come. He felt an immediate spark of elation. Thrilled that he would be the Papa to carry on the Emeritus line. That he was going to have everything he always wanted. It was only after that flicker of a thought that reality began to settle in. Looking at Astrid it was clear—something was wrong. 

“Pregnant. Are you sure?” he asked her. Trying to remain neutral toned. Delicately hiding his own feelings until he could make out hers. Then Astrid smiled. Not the kind of smile Copia himself was fighting back, tugging with joy at the edge of his mouth. No., it was the kind that comes from denial—from shock. How quickly her smile fell to tears proved it.

“I am sure.” she confirmed, her eyes quickly becoming red. 

“Oh amore…it’s alright.” Copia smiled, pulling Astrid over to him. Holding her as the resolve she had clung to fell apart the moment she felt the warmth of his arms. Sobbing uncontrollably as he held tightly to her. Kissing the top of her head and waiting for a moment to reassure her once more. 

“Astrid, amore mio. I promise you things will be alright. I know this isn’t exactly how it was supposed to go but…” he continued until she unexpectedly cut him off.

“I can’t have it.” Astrid blurted out. Pulling away from Copia and turning her back to him. Ashamed to look him in the eye. Knowing just how crushed he would be staring back at her. Her face buried in her hands as she continued to cry. 

“What?” he asked softly, hoping with every fiber of his being he hadn’t heard her right. His heart sinking deep in his chest. The words like shards of glass, piercing him. Tearing him up inside.

Astrid knew he more than anyone, Copia wanted a family. She just couldn’t. How could she bring a child into the world, she herself at times despised. Recalling images of her mother and the Ministry’s control. All of it like looming glimpses of her wretched future. She would be stuck, trapped, regretful if she kept it.  

“Copia…please. I know you heard me.” 

“No…Astrid. You can’t mean it.” he reasoned, rocked to his core by her words. 

“I do mean it. I can’t be a mother. I—I….” she cried, choking on her tears. Her chest burning and her stomach flipping. 

“You’re afraid.” 

“Yes.” she admitted, though it wasn’t enough.

“I know it won't be easy, but Astrid, we can make it.” Copia began again trying to reason with her. Desperately hoping to change her mind. That suddenly she’d turn around and they would embrace. Holding on to one another as their child peacefully slumbering in her womb

“No Copia, I can’t—I won’t.” 

“Who knows?” 

“Just us. I want it to stay that way. If anyone else were to find out I would be forced to carry it. Like some proper Ministry breeding cattle. I won’t do it.” she hissed, hoping that Copia wouldn’t tell them. 

“That's not what you are Astrid, and you know it.” Copia yelled, hoping off the sofa and pacing the room in anger. 

“I thought you should know.” she told him when he turned to her, his face covered in tears. The pain he was feeling inside, written all over his face. 

“Why? Why come tell me?” he asked, his voice cracking under the weight of his tears. 

“I—” 

“You what? Thought you would come here to tell me that you are carrying our child just so you can—can.” he sobbed.

“Copia I am sorry. I don’t know what you want me to say.” 

“Sorry? For what Astrid. For telling me that you want to…to…sweet Satan I can’t even say it.” Copia cried, pulling at the tufts of gray hair along his temples. His head and heart, aching and blood boiling with the thought of what she wanted to do. 

“I have an appointment tomorrow morning. It will be over soon. I wanted you to know I will be leaving too. I know it will be too hard for both of us for me to stay around after.” 

“So that's it? You already thought everything through, and I don’t even get a say?” Copia growled. Angry at himself for having said it. Knowing it was and always would be her choice, but it killed him to know that he was this close—they both were so close to happiness, and she refused to see it. Their child, a casualty of her own fear and self-loathing.  

“I’m sorry.” Astrid said once more, standing from the sofa and ready to leave Copia for the last time. When he suddenly took hold of her arms. Forcing her to sit back down on the sofa. Determined to have one last say before he would allow her to leave. 

“No…you’re going to hear what I have to say.” he demanded. The rage and hurt in his eyes, making Astrid feel scared of him for the first time ever. “This thing between us… Astrid it's real. The love I feel for you is the most real thing I have ever felt in my life. I know we can do this together.”

“Copia…”

“No, don’t. I know that's why you are so scared. Afraid to become like your mother. Afraid to lose who you are, but you won’t.”

“You don’t know that.” she replied, tears once again trickling from her eyes. 

“Neither do you.” 

“This…what happened between us was…it never should have happened.” Astrid told him. Her hardened eyes staring up at him as he hovered above her. Blocking her from leaving until he had his say. 

“Please Astrid...” he cried, angry at her for the lies. He knew as well as she did that they were in love. Why would she be so cruel to deny it, to take away everything. 

“Copia, it was a mistake!” she yelled, ready to push past him when he fell to the floor. Weeping on his knees before her.  His broken frame, shaking with grief. His soul crying out to the universe and begging her to reconsider. 

“Please don’t Astrid. I love you. I already love our baby. Please. Non porre fine alla vita di nostro figlio. Ti scongiuro.” he begged. Astrid felt like she wanted to die. She didn’t want things to be this way. Loving him was one thing, but a child? That meant she was no longer her own person. Bound to the Papacy—to the Ministry. Thinking of what a mistake she would be as a mother. Resentful to a child, like her mom was with her.

“Papa.” she said standing up, Copia held tight to her waist. Crying against the small of her belly. Embracing Astrid and his child in his arms as best he could. Begging her not to go through with it. “I have to go.” she told him, pushing past his quivering grasp and quickly making her way out the door. Copia left on the floor, knowing that despite it all, he would never be able to stop her from doing what she wanted. A truth that haunted his very soul.  

Notes:

Finalmente è finita.- Finally that's over with.

Non porre fine alla vita di nostro figlio. Ti scongiuro.- Don’t end our child’s life. I beg you. 

[1-ufo]

Funny story so one time last year I was here for my immunoglobulin replacement therapy and I don’t tolerate the infusions very well so we have to do a very slow drip which means my appointments typically last about 6-7 hours. So I usually call ahead because my med takes about an hour to mix and I don’t want to add more hospital time if I can help it.

So I did that and went in for my appointment and it was weird because I was there got my iv ready and everything. Had my Benadryl nap and woke up and my med still hadn’t arrived. And it definitely should have been here by now. I know sometimes the pharmacy gets busy and it takes even longer to get my med prepped. it’s taken 2 hours before so this isn’t /that/ unusual.

A nurse pops her head in and is like… so the pharmacy says they’ve sent the med but we haven’t received it yet. We think it got stuck in the pneumatic tube and we don’t know where. And since it’s the weekend we don’t have the usual maintenence people here. If it’s stuck for too much longer the medication will go bad before the end of your infusion and they’ll have to mix another one. (Note, my medication is made up a very specific, rare, blood type due to the rarity of my condition, these are received through plasma donations from people who also happen to have this very rare missing immunoglobulin that I’m also missing and therefore my medication most especially of all the different ones is Very Expensive. Thousands Of Dollars Expensive. So this would be a massive waste of a very hard to get plasma donation and also $$$)

Awesome

It took another hour before I got the med, and from my understanding they had to put holes in the walls up through 9 floors to find my med and fish it out of the wall. I was there for twelve hours that day.

So they Learned on that day.

[woniebunny]

TWILIGHT WOLFPACK|| HOW YOU MET/HOW THEY IMPRINTED PT 1

A/N: Hello! Ive decided to start writing some wolf pack preferences/imagines and hopefully some fics as I don't really see many new ones and Im tired of reading the same stories over and over again hehe. Please feel free to comment any advice or ideas you may have as I would greatly appreciate the feedback! I really hope you guys enjoy!

************************************************************************************************************************************************

SAM ULEY

You met Sam when he accidentally phased in front of you while you were heading to the cliff you always went to when you were deep in thought. You grew up on the Reservation and had heard about him and seen him a handful of times at school but never actually met or spoke to him. When you saw him you froze and didn't know what to do and you could tell Sam was freaking out about being caught. Slowly you started walking towards him taking small steps as not to spook him until he looked into your eyes and you felt like everything stopped and suddenly you weren't so worried anymore and gently ran your fingers through his fur. He slowly backed away and went behind a tree to phase back and once he came out he explained everything to you. It took you some time to get used to it but you grew to love and support each other and would do anything for each other. Once the other members started phasing you took on the role of being the pack mom and a safe place for all of the boys and they loved you

JARED CAMERON

You were best friends with Kim and did everything together, you didn't have the best relationship with your family but she was like your sister and the most important person in your life..she was all you needed. You met Jared in class and worked with him a few times on group projects always with other classmates. You thought he was nice and funny but never gave him much thought as you knew how much Kim liked him. Once he phased and started attending school again you were paired together for a project again. You turned to ask him what topic you guys should do and when he looked into your eyes he froze and started acting weird but you brushed it off to him being out for so long. Over the next few weeks you noticed how close you guys were getting and his constant effort to be your friend and the sinking feeling of guilt you had because of Kims feelings and not wanting to hurt her. As an attempt to protect your friendship you slowly distanced yourself from him, despite you not wanting to admit that it did hurt a bit as you've grown to care for the class clown.

PAUL LAHOTE

You grew up next door to Paul since he moved from Tacoma, Washington at the age of 7 while you were 6. You quickly became best friends and protective of the other especially with your home lives. Having only one parent did make your childhood a bit difficult but at least you guys had each other. Once Paul started experiencing the symptoms to phase you noticed the increased anger in him and it worried you. You guys told each other everything and the fact you felt like you couldn't help hurt you so much. The day he phased you happened to have went over to his house to check on him. Seeing him answer the door dripping in sweat and shaky you immediately grabbed him and took him to his room to lay down. In the middle of you taking care of him Sam showed up to help him with the shift and all you could do was watch your other half screaming in agony and pain as he phased. Once he phased back you ran to him and held him as you comforted him and as soon as you made him look at you to whisper reassurances you knew you would never lose him. He was your forever.

EMBRY CALL

You and Embry have known each other your entire lives. Embry’s mum and your mum were pregnant at the same time and met during one of their ultrasound appointments and became best friends. Being single mums, it made it easy for them to get along and understand each other. For as long as you could remember Embry was your other half and always protected you and cared about you. Starting highschool together just enhanced your bond. Hence after 2 days of not hearing from Embry brought you to approaching his friends Quil Ateara and Jacob Black. You didn’t really know the boys too well but knew he hung out with them a lot. Once they told you he was out sick and was acting weird, you knew you had to check on him. When you showed up at his house sadly you were turned away by his mum, who said he was too sick to be around at the moment and she would let you know when you could see him. After 2 weeks of what felt like torturing and worrying about him you decide to check on him again. When you showed up you saw him and Paul Lahote walking out of the forest line towards his house and ran to meet him. “Embry are you okay? What happened? Where the hell have you been and why have you not said anything? I thought we tell each other everything? Do you know how worried I’ve been about you the past few weeks?”. You could tell he was gonna try and brush you off based on his expression but as soon as he looked in your eyes you saw his expression change to awe. Embry felt so relieved that he imprinted on you but guilty for making you worry about him. Luckily he can tell you everything now and wouldn’t have to stay away from you ever again.

[summerlovingbaby]

Take Care of You

“You alright?”

“Yeah.” Y/N tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. The Nomu hit her, and she flew backwards and smashed her into a wall. She got back up, like she always did, but she was feeling the hit more than usual.

“You don’t look alright.” Kirishima prompted. “ You sure you don’t want a medic?” he asked. 

She only nodded and hunched over, her hands grabbing her knees. If she just got a breath of fresh air then she would be okay, right? She took a few heavy breaths.  He kneeled down on her level, so he could see her eyes. Y/N was really good and lying, at everyone except Kirishima. He could read her like a open book, and the book he was reading said that they were not okay.

“I’m calling a medic.” he told her.

“I don’t need one. I’m fine.” She snapped. “Other people need them more than me right now. I just need to.... “she looked like she was about to say something else, but her head drooped down. 

“Do you need to sit?” Before she could say yes, her body felt heavier than usual and her knees felt weak. He helped her to the ground. She looked pale and tired.

“Can I have some water?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, and like every word, was a struggle to manage. “Please?”

“Yeah.. hold on.” he spoke. She couldn’t keep her head up, and she looked half asleep. “I’m gonna call a medic. You look like you're gonna-” her body fell over and she passed out. “I NEED A MEDIC OVER HERE!” he shouted.

Y/N woke up in a hospital, 6 hours later with a IV drip stuck in her arm and a oxygen line in her nose. Her head hurt, her chest hurt, and so did her legs. It would be easier to say what did hurt, rather than it didn’t.

Her hand didn’t hurt. Something was squeezing it, but it didn’t hurt. It felt quite sweet and nice and warm. The hand felt calloused and warm and safe. It was probably Kirishima, he always kept her safe.

“Y/N... Y/N... baby can you hear me?” he asked, his voice was soft and warm.

“Where am I?”

“Hospital... you passed out.” he said sweetly brushing the hair out of her face. “You broke 4 ribs and punctured a lung.”

“Oh.” she said, knowing that she would get scolded. 

“The doctor said you would have been in alot of pain.” he said. “Were you in a lot of pain?”

“Just a little bit.” she whispered. “I thought I was fine.”

“You broke most of your ribs and you say you were fine?” he whispered. Y/N tried to sit up, but fell back over in pain. “Take it easy.” he said, gently pushing her back down. “The doctor said you need to take it easy for the next few days.”

“ Okay.” she whispered. “ Can I have some-” before she could finish that sentence, he had a cup in her face, with a swirly purple straw sticking out.  “ Thankyou.” she muttered before taking a sip.

“ Why didn’t you say how much pain you were in?”

“ I wasn’t-”

“ Y/N, princess, don’t lie to me.”

“ Okay, well, it did hurt alot.... I just thought that I was being over dramatic.”

“ Over dramatic?You broke half your ribs.”

“ Yeah, other people more important than me needed the medics more than I did.” she muttered.

“ Hey, hey, hey, you are just as important as anyone else, and I don’t want you to ever think other wise.”

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[youre-a-total--poser]

Please Forgive Me (Request)

Natasha Romanoff x Teen Reader

Warning: mentions of hospitals, IV Drip, guns, death.

Age: 16

Word Count: 2,724

Requests: Closed.

Summary:

After getting in a fight with your Mom just before you were to leave to go on a mission and saying something that you wished you hadn't now you don't know if you'll ever see her again.

Requested By: Jordan_Romanofff on Wattpad

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

Fury had assigned you to go on a mission with Steve. This was the first time that you were going on a mission with one other person. Normally you would go with all the Avengers and your Mom would be right there watching your every move.

Your mission was to go to an old HYDRA base somewhere in Canada and seek out any information of what they could be up to.  You and the Avengers had cleared the place of HYDRA soldiers days ago but didn't have time to collect anything.  You and Steve were to leave early tomorrow morning.

Y/N'S POV

After the meeting was finished I made my way down to the training room. I wanted to do some target practice. Even though I were already confident with a gun there was always room for improvement.

Just as I was about to put on the noise cancellation headphones, the door of the training room slammed shut which startled me slightly.

I looked over at the door and saw that mom was walking over and oh boy she didn't look happy.

"Hey, Mom," I said as I went to put the headphones on but she grabbed them out of my hand and threw them on the table.

"Don't hey, Mom, me, Y/N. What do you think you're doing?" She demanded.

"Um, target practice," I said sarcastically but instantly regretted it the moment I said it.

"Don't get smart with me, young lady, I'm talking about you accepting that mission." Her tone was getting angrier.

"God, Mom, do you even know what the mission is? Cause I'm sure if you did then you would know fine well that I'm perfectly capable of doing it." I argued back at her.

"And Steve is going to be there too so it's not like I'm going on my own. Don't you trust Steve?" I added.

"I don't care if Steve is going to be there you are not old or responsible enough to go on a two-person mission." She Yelled.

"But I'm old and responsible enough to go on a group mission that doesn't even make any sense," I questioned.

"The difference is with a group there is always someone there beside you at all times. Steve will be too busy dealing with other stuff to constantly keep an eye on you. It's just too dangerous honey," she said slightly calmer than before.

"But Mom, we are going to that old HYDRA base that we cleared out days ago. We are only going to collect any paperwork or computer files there is nothing dangerous about it." I tried to tell her but she was having none of it.

"I don't care Y/N you're still not going," she said whilst sighing.

"I'm not a little kid anymore, Mom, I can handle a lot more than what you think I can." Now I was the one that was starting to yell.

"I'm going to see Fury and taking you off that mission" she threatened.

"No, don't. If you do that I'll never forgive you." I was unsure myself if I were serious or not by that statement.

" I don't care Y/N, it's for your own good." She said sounding fed up with this pointless argument.

I stormed off but before I walked out the door I turned around to look at Mom and said something that I wished I hadn't.

"I hate you and I wish you weren't my Mom," I shouted before running to my bedroom.

When I got to my room I was so mad that I couldn't focus on anything so the best thing that I could do right now was sleep.

I climbed into bed and set the alarm on my phone for 6:30 am.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

I must have been pretty tired since It didn't take long to fall asleep and the next thing that I knew was rudely awoken by the alarm.

I stumbled out of bed and took a much-needed shower.  After I got out of the shower I got myself ready.

I was suited up I made my way to the top of the compound where the QuinJet was.

Once I walked through the double doors I noticed that there were SHIELD agents everywhere getting everything ready.

I was expecting Mom to be standing at the doors waiting for me to tell me once more that I wasn't going but she wasn't there. Not even Steve or Fury approached me to tell me that I couldn't go.

I headed over to the storage unit where all of the extra weapons were kept. I picked up the widow bites that was used by Mom but she let me have them. Then a handgun that was also Mom's and it make me think, everything that she's done for me was to protect me. All the hours of training, giving me her weapons, looking out for me during every mission. Maybe that's why she didn't want me going on this mission not because I wasn't responsible but before she couldn't stand the idea of anything happening to me.

"Hey, are you ready to go?" Steve asked as he walked over to me putting his shield on his back.

"Yeah, wait, Steve, do I have time to quickly find my Mom I need to tell her something?" I asked him.

"You don't have time you both should have left 20 minutes ago." Fury said as he walked over to us.

"Sorry Y/N," Steve said whilst giving me a sympathetic smile and walking off.

I quickly grabbed the rest of my weapons and jogged over to Steve and boarded the QuinJet.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

I was sitting on one of the seats on the QuinJet Steve must have sensed that something was not right with me.

"Is everything thing alright?" he asked as he sat down on the chair next to mind.

"No," I said as a shook my head.

"I said something really stupid to Mom yesterday and I can't stop thinking about it and what if something goes wrong" I started to panic slightly.

"Nothing is going to go wrong. It's an easy mission and I'll be with you the whole time." Steve said trying to calm me down.

"But what if it does and the last thing I said to her was that I hated her and I wish that she wasn't my mother." I started to panic even more just thinking about it.

"Hey, listen to me, I promise you that nothing will happen and it won't be long till we are back here heading home, and I know your Mom will forgive you." He said as he was calming me down.

"Hopefully," I whispered.

Once the QuinJet had landed we made our way inside of the building.There was nothing but sheets of paper everywhere, old computers and dust or so I thought.

"You start in this room and ill check the next one. grab what you can." Steve instructs you before walking to the next room.

I tried to turn on one of the computers but nothing was happening. I walked over to a filing cabinet and pull out a cardboard box that says New York on it. Inside there was lots of paperwork of information about how they were going to destroy New York.

"Steve I've found some..." I was interrupted by an explosion that came from the other side of the room that I was in.

The explosion caused not only the walls but the floor to collapse and I fell through the floor everything went dark.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

Steve's POV

"Y/N?" I called out before I started coughing due to all the dust in the air.

"Y/N" I called out once more but there was still no response.

I started to move the large pieces of the rubble but there was still no sign of her.

"Come on kid, where are you?" I said to myself.

I moved a smaller piece of rubble and underneath it was Y/N's gun.

After I searched this entire place Y/N wasn't there. Unless she had somehow managed to escape the last minute there was no sign of her and the only thing left for me to do was leave.

As I waited for the QuinJet to come and pick me up again I walked for a bit calling out for Y/N in the hope that she did escape but it was no use there was again no sign of her.

I sat in the QuinJet waiting to go back home and the only thing that kept replaying in my mind was that I promised that nothing bad was going to happen and I was going to protect her but I failed.

The QuinJet had finally arrived back at the Compound and I didn't even think about that I had to tell Natasha about what had happened to her daughter till I saw her standing there waiting for her.

I noticed her smiling when she saw me but it didn't take long for her smile to drop.

"where's N/Y?" Nat asked.

I just stood there trying to think of the right thing to say to her.

"Steve, I'm not kidding, where is my daughter?" Nat demanded to know.

"There was an unexpected explosion and Y/N was caught in the middle of it." I began to tell her.

"I'm so sorry, Natasha, She's dead." I struggled to bring myself to say those words.

I watched as the tears started to form in her eyes.

"Did you find her body?" She asked.

No, I..." Started to say.

"Then how do you know she's dead?" she interrupted.

"Natasha, it was a pretty big explosion there would have been no way that anyone could have survived that," I explained to her.

"I don't care, Steve, I'm going out there and finding my little girl," Natasha yelled.

Natasha tried to walk off but I grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving and pulled her into a hug.

"Natasha, no, I'm sorry but she's not out there," I whispered to her.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

Y/N'S POV

I woke up lying on the ground uncertain of how long I was out for. I had a banging headache, pain in my left leg and right arm.

how I was unsure how I managed to survive but I did know that I had to hurry up and get out of this building before the whole place collapses.

The pain in my ankle hurt like hell after every step but it was manageable but I couldn't move my arm at all so it was most likely broken.

I managed to make my way out of the building safely but then there was the problem I was in the middle of nowhere in a country that I've not even properly been to.

My only option is to just walk and hope that I come across a house or a town of some sort.

I had been walking for hours, the sun's getting real low and it was getting colder.

I was seriously struggling to keep going but then I heard traffic. At first, I thought I was just hearing things but I kept pushing myself to keep going.

As I got out of the forest I never thought I would be so happy to see a gas station.

I was so close to the door but I just couldn't go any further. my entire body was in so much pain and I started getting extremely dizzy and all of a sudden I passed out.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

I woke up in bed somewhere. The room was bright and a loud beeping. I was also attached to an IV drip and my arm was wrapped in a cast.

A few moments later a woman walked into the room and she looked over at me.

"it's nice to see that you're awake," She said in a cheery tone picking up the chart that was attached to the end of the bed and writing something.

"Where am I?" I asked the woman

"You're in Toronto General Hospital, Love," The woman who must have been one of the hospital's nurses said.

"Do you remember your name? Where are your parents? Can you remember their names?" the nurse asked too many questions at once.

"Umm, yeah, my name is Y/N Romanoff, my Mom's name is Natasha Romanoff," I told the woman and she wrote down what I said on the chart.

"Good job, sweetie, you're doing a good job." She praised me

"Do you know where your mom is or do you know her cell phone number?" the nurse asked

"No, I can't remember her number. We're not from here, we live in New York. I need to get back to New York. I need her to know that I'm alive, please," I said as the tears started streaming down my face.

The nurse walked over to me and she gave me a hug being careful of my arm.

She held me for a few minutes before letting go.

"I'll be back in a moment I know someone who might be able to help," she said before walking out of the room.

Minutes later the same nurse and an older man came into the room.

"Hello, Y/N, my name is Doctor Morrison, I am the senior doctor of the hospital, Nurse Claire has informed me of your current situation and I'm going to help you out."

"Keep in mind that I don't normally do this but if I don't I have a feeling that you will try to walk out of those doors and attempt to get to New York by yourself. This is what I'm going to do for you. My team is contacting all hospitals in New York and when they find the one that you are registered at we are going to take you there in our helicopter and they will contact your mother and she'll meet you there. How does that sound?" He asked even though he already knew what my answer was going to be

I couldn't quite believe what I was hearing, home I'm going home.

"Thank you, thank you so much," I said to the doctor I couldn't stop smiling and the tears of joy were running down my cheeks.

"I'll be back when we find the right hospital." Doctor Morrison said before walking out of the room.

It didn't take long for them to find the right hospital and before I knew it I was getting safely strapped inside of the helicopter.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

I must have fallen asleep whilst in the helicopter. I woke up and I was lying in bed in another bright room this time I felt someone holding my hand.

I looked over at the person holding my hand and I knew it was her.

"Mama?" I said while squeezing her hand.

She looked up at me and wrapped her arms around me

"Y/N, thank God," Nat said carefully hugging me.

She pulled herself away and cupped my face.

"I'm so sorry Mama, I don't hate you, I could never hate you and I'm so glad that you're my Mom. Please forgive me?" I begged for her forgiveness and tears started falling down my cheeks.

"Of course I forgive you, baby, I'm so happy to have you back home safe and sound," Nat said as she wiped my tears away.

"Can we go home now Mama? I really don't like being in hospitals." I asked her.

"Sure thing, baby, I'll go get you signed out," Nat said before kissing my forehead and I watched her leave the room.

--------------------------⧗-------------------------

One Week Later

It had been a week since the accident occurred and Steve apologised to you every day since you returned home. You told him every time that you forgave him and that he didn't have to apologise anymore but he just didn't care and continued to apologise.

You know that once you fully recover your Mom will maybe one day let you join back in on group missions again. But there is no way that you're going on any solo missions not for a long time anyway.

You have learned your lesson that no matter what your Mom is and will always be right not that you'd ever fully admit it to her.

[fightxxmexxshiggy]

HOT DAY AND A TIRED MAN

This fic is dedicated to @lovelyladyraven for being my first ever paid commission.

Shouta Aizawa x fem reader

Tw:dangerous situation, breeding, OVERSTIMULATION

Word count: 3.5k

This was not how you had planned to spend your day. Your boss had decided that the roof needed to be cleaned on the second hottest day this summer! Of course you were the only one who had just finished up their task so he sent you to do it by yourself with a promise of sending the next available person up to switch with you soon. Instead you had spent two hours cleaning up dirt and shining the vents on a roof that no one but maintenance workers ever set foot on! Once you had seen how much time had passed you went to the door with every intention of stomping down the stairs and clocking out, not willing to do overtime just to clean a roof. But the knob wouldn't turn no matter how hard you pulled. You banged on the door a few times only to realize that one of the idiots that you work with had locked the door. Quickly you took out your phone and called the store phone no answer, then your boss's phone no answer, then you called the two other coworkers who had been working with you today. Not a single person answered you! You went over to the side of the building that looked over the parking lot seeing that all their cars were already gone from their usual spots. The bastards had left for the day and left you locked on the roof with no way to go home or even get water. You tried for another 30 minutes to reach your boss and coworkers only for them to start rejecting your calls. They did this on purpose. You went and sat in the shade of the roof door access and took a few calming breaths. You knew that they weren't going to come back until tomorrow and you also knew that they probably expected you to sit up here and cry waiting till morning for them to come and "save" you. So instead you looked up the number for the local fire department. Once someone picked up you heard a deep gravelly voice through the speaker. 

"Fire station 6 what can I help you with?" 

The man seemed tired and kind of put out but instead of apologizing for bothering him like your brain was screaming at you to do, you cleared your throat and spoke. You gave him a detailed rundown of your situation and explained that you would have called the emergency line first except your boss's wife worked the police directory and if he was locking you on the roof like this you were afraid that his wife would just not send anyone to help you. It was a small town and things like that were constantly looked over as long as you knew the right people. He hummed in agreement.

" That's sad but true. I know your boss and his wife well enough that you're probably 100 percent right about what they would do and how they would cover this up. They've done it before. Me and a few guys will be there in about 20 minutes to come get you down. Just keep calm and do your best to stay out of the sun until then we don't need you getting any more dehydrated than you already are."

He gave a quick goodbye and hung up. You breathed a sigh of relief knowing that you had chosen correctly when you called the fire station. You sat in the shade and tried to put a face to the voice of the tired firefighter who would be coming to free you from your rooftop prison. Like a fool you had never asked his name. As you thought about it you started to get a bit lightheaded. It had definitely been too long since you had any water. The heat was starting to get to you now that your adrenaline had stopped pumping so hard. With nothing else to do you layed down as much in the shade as you could and did a breathing exercise. During your exercise you must have blacked out because the next thing you knew you were being carried down the stairs in a set of strong arms. 

The person carrying you was speaking to you but you couldn't make out what they were saying over the fog that was covering your brain. You knew the sound of that voice though. It was the tired firefighter but he sounded a whole lot less tired and a whole lot more angry. You really hoped he wasn't angry at you. Maybe you were too heavy and he was annoyed at having to lug you down the stairs. With a weak hand you reached up maybe to apologize somehow, but ended up cupping his cheek. His stubble felt funny in your already funny feeling hand. He stopped walking at the feeling of your hand on his face. You still couldn't open your eyes so instead you mumbled a garbled sorry and proceeded to pass back out going limp. The last thing you heard was the tired firefighter yelling at someone, maybe you?

You woke up again this time to the feeling of something plastic on your face. Opening your eyes was still a bit too much for you so you listened and tried to figure out what was going on. You vaguely remember the tired voice you had spoken to before you felt light headed and the feeling of being carried. As you listened you could make out the sounds of machines. Slowly you took stock of your body. You were sore and kinda warm but you could move a little bit. You breathed deeply, finally realizing that the plastic was an oxygen tube. You were definitely in the hospital then. After a few more minutes your eyes were in good enough condition that you opened them to look around the room. When you did you saw someone slumped in the chair in the corner. This was incredibly strange since you had no family in this town. Doing your best you cleared your throat preparing to ask who they were. At your sound the person's head shot up, eyes wide. 

It was a man with tired eyes and long black hair that was on the scruffy side; it easily matched the stubble of a beard on his chin and cheeks. He stood up definitely tall enough to tower over you even when you were standing up yourself. The man walked to your bedside and took a deep breath before speaking. 

"It's good to see you awake little one. I was beginning to think you weren't going to wake up. I'm the firefighter you spoke to asking for help when you were on the roof. I have a lot to explain to you but I'm gonna call the doctor in and have them look you over before anything else."

He called out into the hall after that and a doctor and a nurse bustled into the room within minutes. Your throat was too dry to answer their questions so you stuck to little nods and head shakes as they began to check your vitals and adjust your iv drip. Once they were sure you were stable enough you were once again left with your savior and no voice to thank him with. He came closer and pulled the chair along with him to settle in for your conversation. 

"So you've been out of it for about 3 days. You got sunstroke while you were on the roof and your boss had double locked the door to get in and the door to the roof which slowed us down in getting to you. Your boss and his wife and your 2 coworkers have all been arrested. It was your boss's idea though apparently he kept hitting on you but you didn't give him the time of day so he wanted to teach you a lesson. His wife had your name flagged so that if you had called for help it would have given a dispatcher a notification to ignore you as a false reporter. His wife found out about his interest in you and was planning on making sure you were stuck on that roof all night. Your coworkers just went along with it because they didn't want to deal with your boss's anger."

Hearing all this pissed you off beyond belief. They could have killed you all because you would be a man's mistress and the man's wife would rather hurt someone than confront her husband. He looked at your face and patted your knee knowing there was nothing he could say that would make you feel any better about this. You looked up at him and grabbed his hand and brought it to your forehead, touching his knuckles there before placing a kiss on them. You were kind of happy that you couldn't really talk just yet because the blush on this man's cheeks was well worth the dry throat. He poured you a cup of water and handed it to you. You gave him a small smile and drank it gratefully. 

Eventually you could speak some and the two of you formally introduced yourselves. He was Shouta Aizawa, the fire station chief and local fire safety instructor for this area. He hadn't felt right leaving you alone after he had gotten you off the roof and found that you lived alone in this town. He came off very blunt and serious but you could see his deep kindness in his actions. The doctors came back in, cutting your conversation short and making Shouta go back to his spot in the corner. After a few more checks the doctors cleared you to go home the following day as long as you had someone to watch over you for the next three days till your follow up appointment was. You frowned cause you did have any close friends who could do that for you. As you pondered over it you heard Shouta's voice over the doctor's. 

"If you don't have a problem I can have you stay over in the guestroom at my house. I was already on a temp leave due to watching over you here so it wouldn't be much different with you at my house."

This man with a deep whiskey voice truly had a heart of gold. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth you readily agreed. After you had been up a few more hours and had a little bit to eat, Shouta left with the promise of a freshly cleaned room waiting for you tomorrow. You fell asleep that night feeling more cared for than you ever truly had. You woke up again slightly disoriented and thirsty but in much better condition than you had been the day prior. It was early so you took your time shaking the numbness out of your limbs and getting back your bearings. The nurse came in fussing about you standing with calling anyone to be a catcher for you. She stopped fussing though when she realized that you were indeed stable enough to walk to the bathroom alone. 

Shouta had called the nurses station around 10 to let them know he'd be there by 12. With a few puppy dog looks you had a shower chair and an orderly who helped wash your hair and walk you back to bed. They had given you some hospital pajamas that you happily wore instead of the ugly gowns you had woken up in. You were clean and relaxed by the time Shouta had arrived to sign you out of the hospital. A nurse came around with a wheelchair and wheeled you down to the exit while the car was brought around. Shouta opened the door for the backseat but instead of giving you a hand to climb in he leaned down and scooped you out of the chair. Once you had been sat comfortably on the seat he shut the door leaving you with a moment to appreciate just how strong his arms were.

The drive to Shouta's home was relatively quick as is the way of small towns. His house was nice and seemed to be a cozy ranch style. After pulling into the garage you tried to get out yourself only to be caught up against a hard chest as your legs gave out the moment they were made to take your full weight. You looked up to see an exasperated glare. Part of your brain filled with chastised thoughts as the other filled with dirty thoughts. You really had to be better behaved when It came to your savior and benefactor but with him being so sinfully attractive it was kinda hard to do. Once again you were carried by the tired man this time into his home and deposited on the lone couch in his living room. He sat on his coffee table and faced you with a sigh. 

"You're really gonna have to rely on me for a few days brat. Your body is trying to heal and you pushing it as you just did isn't doing the process any favors."

You sighed and agreed with him. After a short conversation about a few things you might need from the store and checking about any food allergies he got ready and  headed to the store. You sat alone watching tv before clicking into his YouTube app to see what he watched most. A loud laugh burst from your chest as you realized that most of his watch history was full of cat videos and a few interviews with a local late night radio host. You watched the radio hosts videos thoroughly entertained by his boisterous personality. The next thing you knew you were being shaken awake by Shouta having fallen asleep with videos still playing on the tv. He helped you up and walked you to the bathroom and waited outside before scooping you up yet again. He was making it so damn hard not to think dirty thoughts when he kept carrying you around as if you were a small animal or something. Like sir the butterflies are in the stomach now but they will quickly fly south if you keep being so quietly sexy. A few hours later you were lying in bed when your thoughts finally got the best of you and had you touching your pussy as images of Shouta glaring down at you with his arms crossed showed behind your eyelids.

You had no idea how loud you were being as you rubbed your clit harshly, trying to get to the finish line. As you came you choked out his name. While you panted and came down from your high Shouta made his way back to his room quietly. He leaned back against his door and made a call before laying in his bed to jerk his very hard, very neglected cock. His brain kept replaying the sounds you made, the way you choked out his name as you came, how a satisfied little smile curled on your lips after you reached the finish line. He came with a growl, satisfied but not. He was definitely going to end up in trouble by the end of the week and he couldn't find it in himself to care. The following two days followed the same pattern, spending the day together and spending the night getting off to thoughts of the other in separate rooms. Though you were surprised to find that Shouta regularly walked around the house in nothing but sweatpants holding a full mug of coffee. On the fourth day you had become well enough to no longer need to be carried or walked everywhere. You were a little confused by Shouta's attitude as he had been glaring at the space above your head for most of the day. Finally tired of him doing this, you confronted him about it. You were not expecting his answer in the slightest. 

"I've spent the last three nights hearing you play with your pussy while calling my name, I'm hard enough to hammer nails and I can't get out any over this energy cause I'm supposed to be watching out for you. All I wanna do is fuck you till you lose your mind. me glaring above your head has been me doing my best not to seduce you like an asshole."

He said everything in such a deadpan manner that you couldn't help but laugh. Once you caught your breath you grinned at him and pulled your shirt off over your head. Sitting on his couch with your tits hanging free and your nipples hardening in the cool air you proceeded to play with them. You were immediately picked up and taken to his room before being dropped on the bed. Never let it be said that the tired man couldn't move fast as you were stripped of your remaining clothes before he stripped himself bare. He pulled you to the edge of his bed by your ankles and dropped to his knees, a fierce smile on his lips. 

"Been wanting to taste this bratty pussy for days. Bet it's as sweet as it looks."

His first lick was long. From your hole all the way over your clit. The squeak you let out at the feeling only made him more hungry. He spent what felt like an endless amount of time licking and thrusting his tongue as deep into your pussy as he could. By the time he finally gave your clit some much needed attention his chin was covered in pussy juice and your hole was fluttering as if it was seeking to be filled. Shouta teased you with a few small licks over your clit, making you whine and beg him to give you more. His arms wrapped around your thighs as he locked eyes with you and sucked your clit into his mouth. He sucked hard making you scream and thrash wildly. Your hands were buried in his hair as you squirted into his mouth. Your hips only stayed on the bed because of his strong arms keeping you in place. When he finally released your clit pussy juice was steadily leaking from your still twitching hole. 

"Oh did I break you already? You were so bold before and now you're just a mess. Think you can take my cock or do you want me to tuck you in for a nap."

The shit eating grin on his face was enough for you to pull his hair and glare at him. He sat up and shoved your wrists above your head to hold in one of his large hands. Slowly he worked his fat dripping cock into your almost too tight pussy. You whined and moaned his name as he finally bottomed out hitting your back wall. He stretched you more than you ever had been before but it was so damn good. Shouta started slow, one hand gripping your thigh as he ignored your demands for him to speed up.

"You're gonna take what I give you like a good girl or I'll just pull out and cum all over you right now."

That shut you up except for the constant stream of moans that left your throat. Just as you were finally getting used to being split by such a thick cock he changed his rhythm. Fast pounding thrusts that knocked the breath from your lungs were nearly constant. You didn't have enough breath to scream so you sobbed. Your half words were incoherent except for "sho please." Shouta leaned down and whispered in your ear as his thrusts once again spread up. He bit your ear lobe before making you lose your mind. 

"Such a tight little hole. I can't believe I had the strength to ignore it for three days. I could have at least eaten it while you laid back and rested. God I'm gonna have you for breakfast tomorrow." 

The utter heat in his words threw you over the edge making you cum so hard you began to shake. He growled as your pussy clenched down on him. Shouta sunk his teeth into the pillow by your head before shoving his cock against your cervix and shooting his cum against it. As soon as he finished cuming he started to thrust again. No slow start this time, just hard pounding thrusts that made you wail in pleasure. It didn't take long for you to cum again but Shouta lasted longer this time entirely fucking his cum out of you before finally cuming inside again just as deep as the first time. 

He pulled out and laid down next to you before pulling you on to his chest. You both panted trying to breathe like normal human beings again. Right as your breathing evened out you heard a voice from the doorway. And looked up to see the blonde radio host trailing his eyes over the two of you.

"I told you you wouldn't make it till I got home sho."

[jadelynlace]

Ink Drinker / Modern Vikings AU [Ivar x F!Reader], Chapter 6

catch up here!

synopsis: Ivar was only meant to be a friend with benefits, but he caught feelings for his older brother’s best friend, and co-worker: you.

pairing: Ivar x F!Reader

***content warning [PLEASE READ]: this chapter has the after effect of the trauma call, and too many emotions. surgical mentions and medical terminology are in this chapter as well. anything in italics indicates a flash back.

author’s note: I’m so sorry.

 ~

“Floki, why can I be left alone?” Ivar asked.

“Because the last time you were left alone you ended up with fifty thousand milligrams of pain killers in your stomach. Now, come here—do you know this?” Floki replied with his fingers taping the photo copied image.

“I drew that.” Ivar said back.

“Yes, you did. Where do you want it?”

“What do you mean?” 

“You hate your body so much why don’t you cover it in something you like?” 

*

It is sixteen hours that Ivar is in surgery. His world is dark, nothing but, with pierces of noises that he can recall. But trying to decipher them only makes the surroundings dull, caked in black and muffled with a buzz of an unruly bee hive. There are pokes of pain, he remembers the green light, and he remembers the pot hole he swerved to miss. He doesn’t remember how fast he was driving and the second he was over the yellow line made no difference for the sudden beast of a truck to find him. 

Everything below Ivar’s powdered knee caps are reattached. Grueling hours on the table while he’s sewed back together like a monster. Enough time for Hvitserk to get clothes, to get you clothes, to pack a bag for his brother per your request. Even in the presence of clean laundry you can’t take your blues off yet—they’re holding you proper because you just saw Ivar that morning. You two made love in the low morning light, filled with ecstasy, his seed and then he made you eggs with extra hot sauce and hugged you tightly you were sure you stopped breathing. He told you to be safe, baby, like he did at the dawn of each shift and that he would call you when his last appointment was finished, and on his way back from shopping for supplies for the parlor and that you two would make lunch plans. In his speed, his haste to make sure he didn’t miss you before the two tone song of death would sing in the radios, he instead, became the reason it did.  

Your chief shows up when you tell him the nature of the emergency. Pulling additional personnel on for overtime and they take the rig out of service and from your hands. Words don’t spare any differences and although he offers you a hug, when you take it he slips you a piece of paper. 

“Remember the job you’re doing. And the change you’re making.” He whispers in your ear and you look at the folded sheet. It’s a photocopy of a poorly drawn fire truck with an even worse sketched stick figure, and you had scribbled it when you were five. Back when you met chief for the first time because now you hold the same badge number your father once did. 

“If I give you your Dad’s old badge number, are you going to act like a jack ass like him?”

“I can’t make any promises chief.”

“I have a partner in mind for you, you’ll like him. He’s a good kid. A good medic.”

“This good kid got a name?”

“Yeah, Hvitserk. I’ll introduce the two of you.”

This is the call that shapes you as a medic, as a provider, and changes how you see things. This is the call that sends a new person out into the street, whether Ivar lives or not. This is the call that forever holds terror in your heart because he was laying in the back of your ambulance, and that was the one spot you never wanted him to occupy. 

Aslaug walks through the doors and she’s already two tissues deep into a soggy mess. Hugging Hvitserk and hugging you and you wish you were meeting this woman for the first time under any other circumstance. Floki thanks you and you don’t quite know why, even though the words fall heavily and un-calming, he still thanks you. And when the surgeon returns before the four of you, you’re the only one that doesn’t stand. But he calls your name because you know him, he was lab staff that tested you for your certifications and he told you that you’ll make a damn good medic one day. 

“Remember what I said on the day of your exam?” He asks and you nod, puzzled and impatient looks on the other faces. “You are a damn good medic—you both are.” He adds, eyes jumping from yours to your partners. “And it shows on this call, of all of them.” Hvitserk’s shoulder nudges you and you only nudge him back, perhaps little too hard in your delirious state. “Essentially what we did, was replant the lower portion of each leg. Now, given the extent of his injuries and how his body handles such, I don’t have a clear cut answer for you on his overall mobility. He may need to have screws implanted, he may need prosthetics. He’s going to be in the ICU for the next 48 hours for constant monitoring. We’ll have him sedated so his body can focus on what’s at stake. He’ll need physical therapy for a long time, and he’ll likely be disabled for the rest of his life, given again, how his body handles this. It’ll be a long road. But, like I said—you two are damn good medics and that is the one reason his legs were able to be saved. I will let you know when he’s moved to the ICU.”

You look back at your partner and his face is as blank as yours; influx of emotions just ready to dive from the void but your minds are still churning, still processing all of what boomed from the doctor’s mouth. Ivar’s chance at returning to a normal life was resting in your hands and you two gave the best damn efforts and they worked. The countless hours of dissection, wondering if you’re cut out for this career, these responsibilities, hours of trauma and blood and vomit all fizzle away because you now know that you are. And it just took Ivar to prove it.

When your eyes open again there’s a sharp pierce in your temple, scrunching eyes together and slowly moving, your head rises from Floki’s shoulder and the lights in the ICU have dimmed in the late hour. Impressions stood between his nostrils, falling like petals over his cheekbones, bleeding through split brows and pink flowers through the depths of his neck. His chest sinking and fainting with time, there was a moment of deafening silence when you are looking at his body; seemingly so small under the contraptions. The depths of earth, and the worst hell was seeing him lay on this cot. He’s only sedated now, even though Ivar looked of death, he was still alive under the harvest of wires. The words of how “we’re doing all that we can” do not bring any more comfort, they just take Ivar like a wave rapidly back out to sea. And now you understand how your patients, and their families feel when you speak the same phrases to them. The clinical assessments do not stop a rigorous schedule, motoring for the possible failure. The room is kept warm, and every so often when you will yourself to peek in, you can see the sheen of sweat that’s over Ivar’s forehead, dancing across his chest under the stickers, the monitors. The capillary refill on his toes show promise, and when the nurse says that to her doctor, you find yourself attempting the same motions on your thumb nail. Pressing the pink away and making room for the white, and then in a quick release, the pink swarms back. The ultra sound machines reminds you of the new equipment in your rig as it assess arterial blood flow every hour.

IV bags drip, slow and agonize and the change of wrappings, dressings and cleaning of both the limbs and Ivar himself collect. You spend hours watching the fluid levels sink, his eyes flutter, his fingers in his hand dance and you grow cold because you just want to hold him. To lock him in a steel tower and to constantly remind him how strong he is, because you know the longest road will not come from learning to walk. It will come from Ivar trying to find that he is worthy to live on.

Blackness had retired across your cheeks, wrapping a veil of makeup that melted into battle scars and you could not move if your body depended on it. Aslaug sits next to you; she takes her time wiping the makeup off from under your eyes, the soiled mascara and she’s humming to you. She had been telling you how when Ivar was young, she would sing to him and it would calm him down. How she sang to him in the hospital after he tried to overdose, tubes pumping his stomach as she blamed herself for such wrong doing. How Hvitserk blamed himself because he gave no one a warning cry. And how she’s singing to Ivar now, even though he can��t hear it, because it comforts the three of you as a whole. 

When your eyes follow the nurse into the room, you can hear her say something to Ivar and you watch his head turn in confusion. Grogginess and a fog on his brain as she talks to him like it’s a normal conversation; wishing him a good morning, how the weather looks promising for a beautiful day and you wish you had that level of bed side manner. You never get the promising parts of the journey; you get the patients that are coding and in a rush to the life saving team in the hospital. You love the ones who tell you their entire live’s story in the back of the rig on the way to the emergency room, sharing details and calming your mind with how simple, and yet how different every walk of life is. The nurse says something about you, about Hvitserk and Aslaug and Floki, out and waiting and ready to see him when he’s fit. You wave through the glass and there’s the tease of a smirk on Ivar’s face, even in his slightly sedated state. A dastardly, bastard smirk and his hand lifts off the bed slightly, wiggling his fingers back to you. The tears start up again, pounding a sledge hammer through your skull after all of the unruly pressure and messes of crying as your body tries to go numb.

“Where’s my mom?” You hear Ivar say in a voice that muted slightly as the nurse stands in the door way to exit. “Can I see my mom?” And the nurse nods. Aslaug stands and kisses your hair line as she walks into the vicinity, Ivar watching her and you need to back up, you need to walk away from the room, this hall way and this battle. A faint wheeze goes through your chest and Floki catches it first before Hvitserk has a chance to lift his head and open his eyes.

“Let’s walk, dear,” Floki says and his voice is not authoritative but it still demands you to comply as he loops an arm around your shoulder. “Walking can help to clear the mind.” It’s your first time outside in almost three days, and the sunlight burns you like you had been its victim on a sand covered shoreline for one too many hours. The hospital grounds are manicured, they’re neat and arranged with an abundance of flowers and colors in the open air but everything to you still feels so dull and lifeless, pointless and hopeless and walking only churns your thoughts to double, triple in size like a snow ball rolling down a hill. 

You’re finally allowed in to see Ivar and you approach slowly, like touching him will seer you suddenly, stain you with a unremovable pattern and you’ll forever be reminded. His blue eyes are dull and groggy when they open, the nasal cannula wrapping his face and your eyes dance over the scurf collecting on his jaw, and the faint bruising, cuts and scrapes on his skin.

“Hey baby,” His voice rasps and you kneel by the bed, tears already on their journeys to streak your tried skin and Ivar’s needle poked, IV covered arm comes to wipe what he can reach. “You were there, weren’t you?” And you can only nod, eyes still damp and you relish in the touch he gives you only if it’s for a second. “You saved my life, baby,” Ivar finally adds and that makes the whimper start again, the choke of a sob in your throat and he tries to quiet you, slithering a quick noise from his lips and you rest your head against the bed, his hand still on your hair. 

“I drove the ambulance over a hundred miles an hour,” You finally say and they’re the first words you can use to process the trauma you two had lived through together.

“That’s my girl,” Ivar smiles, speaking with a voice that sounds like sandpaper.

“I love you Ivar—no matter what happens, I love you so much,”

“I love you too, Y/N,” Ivar says and his voice is weaker now and he needs rest. “Kiss me before you go?” He says with eyes scanning your face, and you can’t deny that now. Pressing your lips softly against his, your hands cupping his cheek and you hope it’s not the last kiss you’ll ever get from him. “I’m not going anywhere, baby,” Ivar tells you. “I’m afraid. But I’m not going anywhere,” You nod as he speaks, a forehead against his for a second and his hand is still trying to reach on you where he can. This is the man that would pull the tubes and the wires from his chest if he could, if that would make him get closer to you. “You’re stuck with me,” And there’s a faint snicker after his words, weak and drowned out from the normal tone but you’ll take it after not hearing his voice for three days.

“I’m stuck with you,” You say back with a small smile. But it still doesn’t bring enough hope.

Ink Drinker Tags:

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*please message me to let me know if you would like to be added or removed from my tag list. specifications for series/etc. are also welcomed, as well as feedback.*

full masterlist can be found here.

[butterflies-dragons]

SANSA STARK & TARGARYEN IMAGERY

A list of Targaryen Imagery around Sansa Stark in A Song of Ice and Fire

Fire and Blood

Black and Red

Silver and Purple

Dragon's Tail

Dragon Wings

Dragon Eggs

Dragon Skulls

Golden Dragons

Dragon Knights

Valyrian Steel

Dance of the Dragons

Maegor the Cruel

Baelor the Blessed

Aegon the Unworthy

Prince Aemon the Dragonknight

Aerys the Mad King

Rhaegar the ast dragon

Bonus: Fiery Hair

1. FIRE AND BLOOD

Sansa slid off her mare, but she was too slow. Arya swung with both hands. There was a loud crack as the wood split against the back of the prince's head, and then everything happened at once before Sansa's horrified eyes. Joffrey staggered and whirled around, roaring curses. Mycah ran for the trees as fast as his legs would take him. Arya swung at the prince again, but this time Joffrey caught the blow on Lion's Tooth and sent her broken stick flying from her hands. The back of his head was all bloody and his eyes were on fire.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

The point of Ser Gregor's lance had snapped off in his neck, and his life's blood flowed out in slow pulses, each weaker than the one before. His armor was shiny new; a bright streak of fire ran down his outstretched arm, as the steel caught the light. Then the sun went behind a cloud, and it was gone. His cloak was blue, the color of the sky on a clear summer's day, trimmed with a border of crescent moons, but as his blood seeped into it, the cloth darkened and the moons turned red, one by one.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II

The blood orange had left a blotchy red stain on the silk. "I hate her!" she screamed. She balled up the dress and flung it into the cold hearth, on top of the ashes of last night's fire. When she saw that the stain had bled through onto her underskirt, she began to sob despite herself. She ripped off the rest of her clothes wildly, threw herself into bed, and cried herself back to sleep.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa III

When the king's herald moved forward, Sansa realized the moment was almost at hand. She smoothed down the cloth of her skirt nervously. She was dressed in mourning, as a sign of respect for the dead king, but she had taken special care to make herself beautiful. Her gown was the ivory silk that the queen had given her, the one Arya had ruined, but she'd had them dye it black and you couldn't see the stain at all. She had fretted over her jewelry for hours and finally decided upon the elegant simplicity of a plain silver chain.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa V

Then she realized that the blood had soaked through the sheet into the featherbed, so she bundled that up as well, but it was big and cumbersome, hard to move. Sansa could get only half of it into the fire. She was on her knees, struggling to shove the mattress into the flames as thick grey smoke eddied around her and filled the room, when the door burst open and she heard her maid gasp.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV

When she crawled out of bed, long moments later, she was alone. She found his cloak on the floor, twisted up tight, the white wool stained by blood and fire.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa VII

"The dwarf's wife did the murder with him," swore an archer in Lord Rowan's livery. "Afterward, she vanished from the hall in a puff of brimstone, and a ghostly direwolf was seen prowling the Red Keep, blood dripping from his jaws."

—A Storm of Swords - Jaime VII

As the boy's lips touched her own she found herself thinking of another kiss. She could still remember how it felt, when his cruel mouth pressed down on her own. He had come to Sansa in the darkness as green fire filled the sky. He took a song and a kiss, and left me nothing but a bloody cloak.

—A Feast for Crows - Alayne II

2. BLACK AND RED

The queen wore a high-collared black silk gown, with a hundred dark red rubies sewn into her bodice, covering her from neck to bosom. They were cut in the shape of teardrops, as if the queen were weeping blood.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

Tyrion wore a doublet of black velvet covered with golden scrollwork, thigh-high boots that added three inches to his height, a chain of rubies and lions’ heads. But the gash across his face was raw and red, and his nose was a hideous scab. “You are very beautiful, Sansa,” he told her.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa III

3. SILVER AND PURPLE

Sansa closed the shutters and turned sharply away from the window. "You look very lovely today, my lady," Ser Arys said.

"Thank you, ser." Knowing that Joffrey would require her to attend the tourney in his honor, Sansa had taken special care with her face and clothes. She wore a gown of pale purple silk and a moonstone hair net that had been a gift from Joffrey. The gown had long sleeves to hide the bruises on her arms. Those were Joffrey's gifts as well. When they told him that Robb had been proclaimed King in the North, his rage had been a fearsome thing, and he had sent Ser Boros to beat her.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa I

"You've waited so long, be patient awhile longer. Here, I have something for you." Ser Dontos fumbled in his pouch and drew out a silvery spiderweb, dangling it between his thick fingers.

It was a hair net of fine-spun silver, the strands so thin and delicate the net seemed to weigh no more than a breath of air when Sansa took it in her fingers. Small gems were set wherever two strands crossed, so dark they drank the moonlight. "What stones are these?"

"Black amethysts from Asshai. The rarest kind, a deep true purple by daylight."

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa VIII

Sansa wore a gown of silvery satin trimmed in vair, with dagged sleeves that almost touched the floor, lined in soft purple felt. Shae had arranged her hair artfully in a delicate silver net winking with dark purple gemstones. Tyrion had never seen her look more lovely, yet she wore sorrow on those long satin sleeves. "Lady Sansa," he told her, "you shall be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight."

—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VIII

4. DRAGON WINGS

Tyrion scarce touched his food, Sansa noticed, though he drank several cups of the wine. For herself, she tried a little of the Dornish eggs, but the peppers burned her mouth. Otherwise she only nibbled at the fruit and fish and honeycakes. Every time Joffrey looked at her, her tummy got so fluttery that she felt as though she'd swallowed a bat.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV

"What wife?"

"I forgot, you've been hiding under a rock. The northern girl. Winterfell's daughter. We heard she killed the king with a spell, and afterward changed into a wolf with big leather wings like a bat, and flew out a tower window. But she left the dwarf behind and Cersei means to have his head."

—A Storm of Swords - Arya XIII

5. DRAGON EGGS

Butterbumps arrived before the food, dressed in a jester’s suit of green and yellow feathers with a floppy coxcomb. An immense round fat man, as big as three Moon Boys, he came cartwheeling into the hall, vaulted onto the table, and laid a gigantic egg right in front of Sansa. “Break it, my lady,” he commanded. When she did, a dozen yellow chicks escaped and began running in all directions. “Catch them!” Butterbumps exclaimed. Little Lady Bulwer snagged one and handed it to him, whereby he tilted back his head, popped it into his huge rubbery mouth, and seemed to swallow it whole. When he belched, tiny yellow feathers flew out his nose. Lady Bulwer began to wail in distress, but her tears turned into a sudden squeal of delight when the chick came squirming out of the sleeve of her gown and ran down her arm.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa I

In the Queen's Ballroom they broke their fast on honeycakes baked with blackberries and nuts, gammon steaks, bacon, fingerfish crisped in breadcrumbs, autumn pears, and a Dornish dish of onions, cheese, and chopped eggs cooked up with fiery peppers.

[…] Tyrion scarce touched his food, Sansa noticed, though he drank several cups of the wine. For herself, she tried a little of the Dornish eggs, but the peppers burned her mouth.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV

6. DRAGON’S TAIL

The morning of King Joffrey's name day dawned bright and windy, with the long tail of the great comet visible through the high scuttling clouds. Sansa was watching it from her tower window when Ser Arys Oakheart arrived to escort her down to the tourney grounds. "What do you think it means?" she asked him.

"Glory to your betrothed," Ser Arys answered at once. "See how it flames across the sky today on His Grace's name day, as if the gods themselves had raised a banner in his honor. The smallfolk have named it King Joffrey's Comet."

Doubtless that was what they told Joffrey; Sansa was not so sure. "I've heard servants calling it the Dragon's Tail."

"King Joffrey sits where Aegon the Dragon once sat, in the castle built by his son," Ser Arys said. "He is the dragon's heir—and crimson is the color of House Lannister, another sign. This comet is sent to herald Joffrey's ascent to the throne, I have no doubt. It means that he will triumph over his enemies."

Is it true? she wondered. Would the gods be so cruel? Her mother was one of Joffrey's enemies now, her brother Robb another. Her father had died by the king's command. Must Robb and her lady mother die next? The comet was red, but Joffrey was Baratheon as much as Lannister, and their sigil was a black stag on a golden field. Shouldn't the gods have sent Joff a golden comet?

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa I

7. DRAGON SKULLS

Within, the dragon skulls were waiting, and so was Shae. “I thought m’lord had forgotten me.” Her dress was draped over a black tooth near as tall as she was, and she stood within the dragon’s jaws, nude. Balerion, he thought. Or was it Vhagar? One dragon skull looked much like another.

[...] After, as they lay entwined amongst the dragon skulls, he rested his head against her, inhaling the smooth clean smell of her hair. “We should go back,” he said reluctantly. “It must be near dawn. Sansa will be waking.

[...] The Others can take my guilt, he thought as he slipped his tunic over his head. Why should I be guilty? My wife wants no part of me, and most especially not the part that seems to want her. Perhaps he ought to tell her about Shae. It was not as though he was the first man ever to keep a concubine. Sansa’s own oh-so-honorable father had given her a bastard brother. For all he knew, his wife might be thrilled to learn that he was fucking Shae, so long as it spared her his unwelcome touch.

—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion VII

8. GOLDEN DRAGONS

"The queen raised her voice. "A hundred golden dragons to the man who brings me its skin!”

“A costly pelt,” Robert grumbled. “I want no part of this, woman. You can damn well buy your furs with Lannister gold.”

[...] Shortly, Jory brought him Ice.

When it was over, he said, “Choose four men and have them take the body north. Bury her at Winterfell.”

“All that way?” Jory said, astonished.

“All that way,” Ned affirmed. “The Lannister woman shall never have this skin.”

—A Game of Thrones - Eddard III

"Petyr Baelish put a hand on the rail. "But first you’ll want your payment. Ten thousand dragons, was it?”

“Ten thousand.” Dontos rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. “As you promised, my lord.”

[...] “But he saved me.”

“He sold you for a promise of ten thousand dragons.

[...]“Sansa felt sick. "He said he was my Florian.”

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa V

“Your sister’s had no difficulty finding witnesses to your guilt.” Ser Kevan rolled up the parchment. “Ser Addam has men hunting for your wife. Varys has offered a hundred stags for word of her whereabouts, and a hundred dragons for the girl herself. If the girl can be found she will be found, and I shall bring her to you. I see no harm in husband and wife sharing the same cell and giving comfort to one another.”

—A Storm of Swords - Tyrion IX

Someplace no stag ever found … though a dragon might.

—A Feast for Crows - Brienne III

"A good melee is all a hedge knight can hope for, unless he stumbles on a bag of dragons. And that's not likely, is it?"

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

9. DRAGON KNIGHTS

She shouted for Ser Dontos, for her brothers, for her dead father and her dead wolf, for gallant Ser Loras who had given her a red rose once, but none of them came. She called for the heroes from the songs, for Florian and Ser Ryam Redwyne and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, but no one heard.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa IV

"True knights would never harm women and children." The words rang hollow in her ears even as she said them.

"True knights." The queen seemed to find that wonderfully amusing. "No doubt you're right. So why don't you just eat your broth like a good girl and wait for Symeon Star-Eyes and Prince Aemon the Dragonknight to come rescue you, sweetling. I'm sure it won't be very long now."

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa V

They continued down the serpentine and across a small sunken courtyard. Ser Dontos shoved open a heavy door and lit a taper. They were inside a long gallery. Along the walls stood empty suits of armor, dark and dusty, their helms crested with rows of scales that continued down their backs. As they hurried past, the taper's light made the shadows of each scale stretch and twist. The hollow knights are turning into dragons, she thought.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa V

10. VALYRIAN STEEL

Lord Tywin waited until last to present the king with his own gift: a longsword. Its scabbard was made of cherrywood, gold, and oiled red leather, studded with golden lions' heads. The lions had ruby eyes, she saw. The ballroom fell silent as Joffrey unsheathed the blade and thrust the sword above his head. Red and black ripples in the steel shimmered in the morning light.

[…] "A great sword must have a great name, my lords! What shall I call it?"

[…] The guests were shouting out names for the new blade. Joff dismissed a dozen before he heard one he liked. "Widow's Wail!" he cried.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV

But she had another longsword hidden in her bedroll. She sat on the bed and took it out. Gold glimmered yellow in the candlelight and rubies smoldered red. When she slid Oathkeeper from the ornate scabbard, Brienne's breath caught in her throat. Black and red the ripples ran, deep within the steel. Valyrian steel, spell-forged. It was a sword fit for a hero. When she was small, her nurse had filled her ears with tales of valor, regaling her with the noble exploits of Ser Galladon of Morne, Florian the Fool, Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, and other champions. Each man bore a famous sword, and surely Oathkeeper belonged in their company, even if she herself did not. "You'll be defending Ned Stark's daughter with Ned Stark's own steel," Jaime had promised.

—A Feast for Crows - Brienne I

11. DANCE OF THE DRAGONS

Later, while Sansa was off listening to a troupe of singers perform the complex round of interwoven ballads called the "Dance of the Dragons," Ned inspected the bruise himself. "I hope Forel is not being too hard on you," he said.

—A Game of Thrones - Eddard VII

He sang of the Dance of the Dragons, of fair Jonquil and her fool, of Jenny of Oldstones and the Prince of Dragonflies. He sang of betrayals, and murders most foul, of hanged men and bloody vengeance. He sang of grief and sadness.

—A Feast for Crows - Sansa I

12. MAEGOR THE CRUEL

The room where Sansa had been confined was at the top of the highest tower of Maegor's Holdfast.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

In the tower room at the heart of Maegor's Holdfast, Sansa gave herself to the darkness.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa VI

13. BAELOR THE BLESSED

"Baelor starved himself to death, fasting," said Tyrion. "His uncle served him loyally as Hand, as he had served the Young Dragon before him. Viserys might only have reigned a year, but he ruled for fifteen, while Daeron warred and Baelor prayed." He made a sour face. "And if he did remove his nephew, can you blame him? Someone had to save the realm from Baelor's follies."

Sansa was shocked. "But Baelor the Blessed was a great king. He walked the Boneway barefoot to make peace with Dorne, and rescued the Dragonknight from a snakepit. The vipers refused to strike him because he was so pure and holy."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa IV

14. AEGON THE UNWORTHY

Aegon the Unworthy had never harmed Queen Naerys, perhaps for fear of their brother the Dragonknight . . . but when another of his Kingsguard fell in love with one of his mistresses, the king had taken both their heads.

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa II

"A king can have other women. Whores. My father did. One of the Aegons did too. The third one, or the fourth. He had lots of whores and lots of bastards." As they whirled to the music, Joff gave her a moist kiss. "My uncle will bring you to my bed whenever I command it."

Sansa shook her head. "He won't."

"He will, or I'll have his head. That King Aegon, he had any woman he wanted, whether they were married or no."

—A Storm of Swords - Sansa III

15. PRINCE AEMON THE DRAGONKNIGHT

He took her by the arm and led her away from the wheelhouse, and Sansa's spirits took flight. A whole day with her prince! She gazed at Joffrey worshipfully. He was so gallant, she thought. The way he had rescued her from Ser Ilyn and the Hound, why, it was almost like the songs, like the time Serwyn of the Mirror Shield saved the Princess Daeryssa from the giants, or Prince Aemon the Dragonknight championing Queen Naerys's honor against evil Ser Morgil's slanders.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

"Father, I only just now remembered, I can't go away, I'm to marry Prince Joffrey." She tried to smile bravely for him. "I love him, Father, I truly truly do, I love him as much as Queen Naerys loved Prince Aemon the Dragonknight, as much as Jonquil loved Ser Florian. I want to be his queen and have his babies."

"Sweet one," her father said gently, "listen to me. When you're old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who's worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong. This match with Joffrey was a terrible mistake. That boy is no Prince Aemon, you must believe me."

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa III

She pulled a chair close to the hearth, took down one of her favorite books, and lost herself in the stories of Florian and Jonquil, of Lady Shella and the Rainbow Knight, of valiant Prince Aemon and his doomed love for his brother's queen.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa IV

For those who remained, a singer was brought forth to fill the hall with the sweet music of the high harp. He sang of Jonquil and Florian, of Prince Aemon the Dragonknight and his love for his brother's queen, of Nymeria's ten thousand ships. They were beautiful songs, but terribly sad. Several of the women began to weep, and Sansa felt her own eyes growing moist.

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa VI

16. AERYS THE MAD KING

"Ser Ilyn has not been feeling talkative these past fourteen years," Lord Renly commented with a sly smile.

Joffrey gave his uncle a look of pure loathing, then took Sansa's hands in his own. "Aerys Targaryen had his tongue ripped out with hot pincers."

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

"The battleground is right up ahead, where the river bends. That was where my father killed Rhaegar Targaryen, you know. He smashed in his chest, crunch, right through the armor." Joffrey swung an imaginary warhammer to show her how it was done. "Then my uncle Jaime killed old Aerys, and my father was king."

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

"You can't talk to me that way. The king can do as he likes."

"Aerys Targaryen did as he liked. Has your mother ever told you what happened to him?"

Ser Boros Blount harrumphed. "No man threatens His Grace in the presence of the Kingsguard."

—A Clash of Kings - Sansa III

17. RHAEGAR THE LAST DRAGON

"The battleground is right up ahead, where the river bends. That was where my father killed Rhaegar Targaryen, you know. He smashed in his chest, crunch, right through the armor." Joffrey swung an imaginary warhammer to show her how it was done.

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa I

"My father told everyone my bedding had caught fire, and our maester gave me ointments. Ointments! Gregor got his ointments too. Four years later, they anointed him with the seven oils and he recited his knightly vows and Rhaegar Targaryen tapped him on the shoulder and said, 'Arise, Ser Gregor.'"

—A Game of Thrones - Sansa II

18. BONUS: FIERY HAIR

Robb and Sansa and Bran and even little Rickon all took after the Tullys, with easy smiles and fire in their hair.

—A Game of Thrones - Arya I

"You will be the most beautiful woman in the hall tonight, as lovely as your lady mother at your age. I cannot seat you on the dais, but you'll have a place of honor above the salt and underneath a wall sconce. The fire will be shining in your hair, so everyone will see how fair of face you are. Keep a good long spoon on hand to beat the squires off, sweetling. You will not want green boys underfoot when the knights come round to beg you for your favor."

—The Winds of Winter - Alayne I

[theparanormalperiodical]

Top 10 Controversial Horror Films That Are Famous For All The Wrong Reasons *gags* *cries*

At the beating heart of horror is offence.

From that undeniable sense of something not being quite right, to the CGI-blood-spurtin’-adrenaline-fuelled scenes that leave us shaking in our boots, horror pivots on the knife edge of controversy.

It’s used to drive plots. It’s used to drive hype. And at the end of the month, it drives studio executives to the bank.

Horror films can be traumatic enough. But there are some films that bear the cross of controversy more than others. There are some films that have been branded as so damaging to their potential viewers that merely circulating copies of the film is illegal.

And yet their infamy has forged cult viewership. What was once shielded from us has now become ‘must see’.

Today we are going to be counting down horror’s most controversial films and what made them quite so topical.

*I’m going to star the ones that you can actually watch without getting traumatised. Some are controversial not because of their content but because some religious or political groups disagreed with them*

#10 - The Blair Witch Project (1999)*

Let’s ease in with a classic - a classic you can watch without sleeping with the light on.

In this found-footage flick we see a team of film students as they explore a local urban legend. But what they find leads them to unknown and ungodly territory.

The problem with this film is that it was marketed as a true story. No, not based on a true story, a true story. Yep, they claimed what we were seeing was real, found footage of some teens going mad as they forage deeper into mysterious woods.

IMBd went so far as to report that the actors were dead. Then, the movie studio super-charged their efforts to confirm to the public that not only was this film 100% real, the three main actors were still missing. The parents of the actors then started receiving sympathy cards.

There’s even a mocked up website that perpetuates these claims. 

#9 - Night Of The Living Dead (1968)*

Time for another not-too-disturbing film.

This is the original zombie apocalypse film saw a group of Americans attempt to survive an incoming attack of the undead while trapped in a rural farmhouse.

But the Motion Picture Association of America wasn’t too happy about it. The film rating system was yet to be in place, allowing children to also show up for an afternoon screening and be greeted by a 97 minute montage of extreme violence.

“The kids in the audience were stunned. There was almost complete silence. The movie had stopped being delightfully scary about halfway through, and had become unexpectedly terrifying. There was a little girl across the aisle from me, maybe nine years old, who was sitting very still in her seat and crying”

#8 - Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer (1986)

In this psychological film, we watch a random crime spree take place at the hands of a couple serial killers. Loosely based on real murderers Henry Lee Lucas and Ottis Toole, its controversial reputation was founded on the gore ‘n’ guts screened in the movie.

Whilst it didn’t receive much attention from the public, various classification boards across the world ensured new versions edited with certain scenes - often involving sexual assault and necrophilia - removed for viewers.

In 2003, the BBFC (the UK classification board) finally allowed the uncut version to be released and Australia followed suit in 2005.

#7 - I Spit On Your Grave (1978)

It’s the original rape-revenge flick. And it managed to piss everyone off.

Originally titled Day of the Woman, it tells the story of a fiction writer who exacts revenge on a group of four men who gang rape her.

Despite its pro-women claim-to-fame, the 30 minute rape scene begs to differ. Furious debate surrounds its feminist label as a film that forces the audience to endure rape from a female perspective and long-winded violence against men (something which is often reserved for women in horror). Regardless, the graphic violence earned it a steady ban in Ireland, Norway, Iceland, and West Germany.

#6 - Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984)*

You don’t get many controversial Christmas films. They typically stick to a cookie-cutter plot ‘n’ purpose every holiday season. But there are no strong women who need to rediscover the meaning of Christmas here.

Instead, we see a child traumatised by seeing his parents murdered on Christmas Eve go on a seasonal rampage as an adult.

A week after its release in the early 80s, it was pulled from theatres due to backlash. Marketing was focused on a Santa Claus killer with adverts often airing during family-friendly TV programmes and meant numerous children developed a phobia of Father Christmas. Large crowds protested cinemas with one notable protest involving angry families singing carols at the Interboro Quad Theater in The Bronx.

It was only in 2009 - 25 years after its original release - that a DVD of the film was first made available for purchase in the UK.

#5 - Psycho (1960)*

This legendary film follows the disappearance of a young woman after her encounter with a strange man called Norman Bates, one of horror’s most iconic figures. The controversy that would engulf this fim lay not in the violent attack on an innocent woman or even the disturbing content of the film.

Oh, no. It was because of what the leading lady was wearing.

In the opening scene of the film, we see Janet Leigh wearing nothing but a bra.

*gasp*

This racy attire was emblazoned across promotional material, meeting Hitchcock’s high standards of creating controversy around the movie. There was a no late admission policy for movie theaters, and the posters told viewers “Do not reveal the surprises!” to maintain a mysterious aura around the plot twist.

#4 - The Human Centipede (2009) (all of ‘em)

I’ve watched a lot of horror films, in case you couldn’t tell.

I’m used to watching a scary movie, shaking off the anxiety, and moving on with my life. But there are some that stayed with me. I only watched the trailer for the first movie, and it legitimately traumatised me. It gave me quite a severe, sudden bout of a depression for a solid month when I was 13.

Throughout horror’s goriest franchise, we see an evil doctor and amateur mad scientist attempt to sow several people together into a centipede-like chain from mouth to anus.

*retches*

At the heart of promoting the franchise was controversy. Tom Six, the director, forced a narrative that claimed from the first film that this was "100% medically accurate". He even alleged a Dutch doctor helped inspire the film, confirming that with an IV drip, this was entirely possible.

Although it didn’t receive furore that amounted to serious censorship or long-term banning, it was infamous for having its viewers vomiting in the cinema aisles.

The second film, however, was subject to much more severe controversy and could not legally be supplied in the UK until 2011 due to its heavy focus on sexual abuse, more graphic violence than the original film, and it’s pretty vile depiction of a murderer that was intellectually disabled.

Audiences were used to the graphic nature of the franchise by the third and final release. As the least-controversial and least-enjoyable film according to critics, it barely made a dent in the horror community.

Good riddance, I guess?

#3 - Faces Of Death (1978)

I’m not sure I’d recommend this one per se - but I will give it credit for being an interesting project.

This documentary-style film is a montage of footage of people dying in different ways. As a result of its very graphic and very real content, it was banned and censored in many countries. Only in 2003 was it released on DVD in the UK after a scene was cut featuring dogs fighting and a monkey being beaten to death.

Germany, Australia, and New Zealand followed suit, reversing their bans and releasing edited versions.

However, 7 years after its release, the media revamped its interest in the film after a maths teacher showed it to his class at a Californian high school. Two of his students claimed they were so traumatised they received a costly settlement to reimburse their emotional distress. Things took a darker turn a year later, when a 14 year old bludgeoned a classmate to death with a baseball bat; he claimed he wanted to see what it would be like to actually kill someone after watching Faces of Death.

#2 - Cannibal Holocaust (1980)

This Italian film’s title alone hints towards two frightening things: flesh-eating humans and genocide. In this found-footage movie we see an anthropologist lead a rescue team into the Amazon rainforest to find a group of filmmakers that went missing.

The rampant graphic content including sexual assault and animal cruelty showcased in the film (7 animals were killed during filming in some pretty horrific ways) led to it being banned in 50 countries.

Some also alleged that a handful of deaths seen in the film were real, as were the missing film crew. In fact, the actors portraying the documentarians signed contracts that stopped them appearing in motion pictures for an entire year to maintain the illusion of reality.

And only 10 days after its premiere, the director was charged with obscenity and the film confiscated. All copies were to be turned over to the authorities. There are currently a range of versions that have been edited to varying degrees and are allowed for circulation.

#1 - A Serbian Film (2010)

No.

Nope.

Don’t do it. Don’t watch this film.

A Serbian Film follows a retired porn star who agrees to feature in an “art film” for some cash. Little does he know this film will include rape, incest, pedophilia, necrophilia…

Just don’t watch it.

It is still banned in South Korea, New Zealand, Australia. It is supposedly a parody of politically correct films made in Serbia that are funded by foreign groups and allegedly speaks openly about post-war society and the struggle for survival.

*shakes head*

Off to have a 3 hour shower, brb.

If you, uhhh, liked this post please like and reblog.

And if you want to hear more about horror and the supernatural every week hit follow!

[procrastinatorimagines]

Caught In The Crossfire

Fandom: Chicago Fire / Chicago Med

Pairing: Blake Gallo x Reader

Warning/s: shooting

Word Count: 1,045

Request:  Can you do a fluffy Blake Gallo x reader where the reader is an intern at med and a gang starts shooting up the ED cause a couple of wounded higher up rivals were getting treated there and the reader gets shot in the crossfire protecting someone?

What started out as a normal day turned into anything but. 

You’d started as an intern at Med about 6 months prior, and although working in the ED had certainly been challenging, it was also the most rewarding experience of your life. It was also where you’d met your boyfriend, Blake Gallo, when his Firehouse had brought in the victim of a car crash that you were assigned to treating with your attending, Ethan Choi. 

Your day had started pretty normal, even though you were currently treating a gang member who’d been injured in a driveby shooting, one of his hands cuffed to the railing of the bed as you tried desperately to treat him.

“I gotta get out of here!” He kept telling you, moving around too much for you to insert an IV line.

“You’re in a hospital, you’ve been shot, if you leave now you won’t make it,” you calmly tried to tell him, glancing half with apology, half with irritation at the nurse waiting for you to complete the drip. She was merely looking back at you with sympathy, also new, Dr. Choi having left this part in your hands after making sure the wound was stabilised; a through and through, he hadn’t needed surgery.

That’s when your patient started to get even more erratic, knocking the line out of your hand entirely, his eyes going wide as he looked past you. “Oh hell no, no no no!”

You turned to see what he was looking at, barely registering the threat he was seeing until the two men who had just entered the ED removed automatic weapons from under their bulky coats. 

There was screaming as people dove for cover, security being too shocked to react in time as they began to open fire, spotting their target in your patient. The police officer on guard at your door had barely drawn his weapon when a bullet caught him, sending him to the ground. 

You barely had time to react, diving on instinct to protect the nurse on the otherside of the bay, herself too shocked to do anything but freeze in place as the bullets began to fly. You knocked her down and out of the way, a warm feeling spreading through your body as you landed.

Looking at her, you noticed red on her uniform, blood. She was bleeding, you thought at first.

“Are you okay? Are you hit?” You rattled off, quickly patting her down, but it was only when you looked back to her face that you realised she wasn’t concerned for herself, she was concerned for you.

It took you a moment to look down and see what had happened, a pool of red warmth spreading from your chest all over your white lab coat, and then you started to get dizzy.

You could still hear people screaming, but the shots had stopped, and you patient was still making enough noise that told you he was okay. 

That was good, you thought to yourself, before you promptly collapsed onto the floor, the world going dark around you as the nurse screamed for help.

-

You woke up to the beeping of machines, vision blurry, head pounding, and no sense of how long you’d been out. Squinting and blinking in the light, your eyes adjusted enough to see a figure hunched over in the chair to your right, head in hands, foot tapping in impatient worry. Gallo.

Moving slightly, your hand went up to the bandage on your chest, your other arm bangaged into a sling. Gallo looked up at the sound, tired eyes lighting up at the sight of you awake. 

“Hey,” he said softly, shifting forward to take your hand as it came back down to your side, “I’m so glad you’re awake, you gave me quite a scare there.”

You groaned slightly, “did I get shot?” You asked. Stupid question in hindsight, but everything had happened so fast and you were still pretty out of it. Your chest didn’t even hurt, you must have been on some strong painkillers.

“Just a little bit yeah,” he replied with a weak smile, he looked like he’d barely slept, if at all.

“How long have I-” You tried to sit up slightly, but your head soon hit the pillow again, wincing at the effort. Gallo kept fast hold of your hand, giving it a tight squeeze as you took a few deep breaths, trying to steady yourself even though you were already lying down.

“It was a long surgery, touch and go, they moved you here last night, it’s about mid day now,” he told you, looking at your hands instead of your face as he spoke. You must have looked as bad as you felt, your head cloudy and groggy with the strain of remaining awake and focused. “You took a bullet to the chest, it nearly hit your heart.”

You laughed lightly, which was actually more painful than you’d expected. Gallo at you with surprise, clearly not finding this situation as funny as you just did. “It’s kind of funny,” you shrugged, he did not agree.

“What about this is funny?” He asked, baffled by your outburst and clearly thinking it had something to do with the drugs you’d been given.

“Well, I’m the one who’s supposed to be worried about you at work, not the other way around,” you explained, thinking about how Gallo’s expression when you first woke up probably mirrored your own on the days he was late home or did something reckless on the job. 

“Yeah well, don’t make a habit of it,” Gallo smiled, shaking his head, “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you,” he admitted. Your smile wavered, falling as you thought about everyone he’d already lost, a twinge of guilt going through you about trying to make light of the situation. 

“Oh, I don’t plan on going anywhere any time soon,” you laced your fingers through his, ignoring the dull aches and pains as you shuffled into a slight sitting position, “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he told you after a moment, the words not leaving their of your lips until now, but it felt right, in that moment, and you meant every word. 

[sweeethinny]

The first Potter

I wrote this after watching the Kardashian series (yes) and seeing Mason's birth, which made me want to finally write what I think about a few weeks ago

fortunately I never got pregnant, but my sister did, so this whole chapter was inspired by the pain and everything I saw her go through, and how I think she and my mother are warriors, for having gone through it a few times and still saying that is the best pain they ever felt!

Harry and Ginny had decided to have their child in a Muggle hospital, for several reasons, but the main one; privacy. They knew it would be a big deal when the firstborn of the wizarding world savior was born, everyone would be crazy, wanting to take the first pictures and be the first to make sure what he would be like, so even if Molly had argued with them about that decision they would have the baby in a Muggle hospital in a well-located London neighborhood, with the surnames Evans.

It was December 26th, after a Christmas full of pain and irritation on the part of Ginny who felt too ugly and swollen to enjoy anything, she had cried in the bedroom when her dress didn't close and when she couldn't tie her own hair without feeling tired and breathless. Harry had a lot of patience, helping her get dressed, braiding her hair, helping with her shoes and enduring all the crying spells - which were not few.

The next day, they spent the day watching movies and series, resting and anxiously waiting for her purse to burst at any moment and finally see that baby they had been waiting for. The doctor, Dr Iver, had predicted that it would be that week yet, and that they might not need to operate on her if everything went well. But then the 26th passed and nothing happened.

On the 27th, Ginny cried when Harry needed to go to work and she was alone, she didn't even know why she was like that, she just wanted her husband back to help her pick up the dishes and take a shower, feeling her son move like never in belly, kicking down her ribs and stomping the bladder, when it didn't seem to push a knife in the middle of the spine and make her grunt with the pain that cut the air from her lungs.

She was so scared.

The pregnancy had been smooth, in general, but it was terrifying to think that everything would depend on her from now on, that the baby wouldn't come out if it weren't for her strength, and Ginny cried whenever she thought she wouldn't be able to do that, that it would cause some damage to the child, who would give up and fail halfway.

Bill and George took turns to be with her, sometimes Ron would jump out of the fireplace and join the company, Angelina and Fleur also showed up, but it didn't matter, none of them were Harry, none of them said the right words, and she knew she was being unfair, but she was carrying a bloody baby's inside herself! She had a right to be!

When her husband did not return that day, Ginny felt that she could start crying with anyone who touched her.

''You know it can take a while, and I'm sure he's doing everything he can to get back as soon as possible'' Hermione soothed her, wetting a towel and placing it on her forehead when Ginny started to sweat, even though it was snowing outside as never

"I'm going to kill Robards for taking my husband away from me" The redhead grunted "This is hurting more than usual" She sighed, the pain cutting her back and making the air disappear from her lungs, her hips looking like they were about to breaking in two. Ginny grabbed the arm of the couch, sinking her nails as she moaned in pain, the bitter taste of blood filling her mouth.

''Are you alright? Do I need to call anyone?'' She denied, trying to take a deep breath, still feeling her hips seem to shake and almost break, the baby moving non-stop inside her

"He looks like that when night comes," she said, crying wanting to flood her eyes. "Love, calm down please, you're going to kill mommy." Ginny rubbed her belly, just like Harry did when it happened, trying miserably to make the pain less.

But nothing happened, the pain got a few degrees worse, and she barely knew if she would have the strength to move from there, with so much pain that she felt itchy at the base of her spine

''Ginny, I think you're feeling contractions'' Hermione then jumped off the couch, running over to the fireplace and picking up the watch they kept there, looking intently at her ''Tell me when this stops'' The redhead nodded, badly listening to her sister-in-law while trying to take a deep breath.

It didn't take three pauses between pains for Molly to be in the room, next to Arthur, running after Ginny's maternity bag and everything she would need more.

''No, no, no, no'' She denied the help to get up, leaning back on the sofa and sighing when her hip stopped burning and finally could fill her lungs with air ''I won't leave here without Harry. He will never forgive himself'' The crying prickled her eyes again, vehemently denying, completely terrified at the idea of ​​doing that without him ''It's over, it's just a false alarm'' Ginny looked out, trying to look for something else to focus, the dark blue night sky showed no stars at all, and the snow seemed to have given a respite, but she thought of her husband, and hoped he was close and coming home

''Gin, baby, we need to do this'' Dad sat next to her, squeezing her hand and kissing her forehad ''We'll be with you'' She denied it, tears coming out of her control

''No, I won't do it without Harry. I will not be able to. I need him'' Harry had been at all times, the first kick, the exams, the first time they heard the heart beat ... he wouldn't miss the fucking birth! ''This baby will hold on a little longer'' But as if to contradict her, a cold liquid ran between her thighs, dripping on the floor and wetting the entire sofa, without smell or color, barely seeming to come out of her body. ''No'' She denied it again, hugging her belly as if her son could fall from there at any moment ''I can't''

''Of course you can'' Molly crouched in front of her daughter as if she were 6 years old and wanted to climb the top of the tallest tree in the garden ''I will hold your hand and ... And Ron can go behind Harry for you'' The woman looked at Hermione, who nodded from the corner of the room, looking very frightened with the bag in her hands

''Are you going to do this?'' Ginny blinked tearfully at her best friend / sister-in-law, biting her trembling lip. ''Do you promise to bring him here?'' Hermione nodded again

''I promise'' And dropping the backpack on the floor, she apparated and disappeared.

Ginny was forced to go to the Hospital, but saying with certainty that there was, that she would not have her child until Harry was there to help her. The pains increased, and with each movement of the car - she would not be able to apparate or go by the Flu, which left them to call a taxi (for Arthur's amusement) - the woman almost screamed, shaking her mother's hand and biting her lips with all the strength.

The arrival at the Hospital was sharp at midnight, Dr Ives was quick to show up and take her to the room, reformulating the whole procedure again, just so that she would be aware of each step they would take thereafter;

''Let's check your dilation, and then, go ahead with our normal delivery plan, all right?'' She nodded, being lifted to settle on the stretcher, already wearing those ridiculous hospital robe and barely able to speak, feeling the nurse puncture her vein to introduce the serum and start doing some things that she didn't quite understand.

"The baby is fine, we need to wait some more time until he is well positioned and you are ready to have him" The woman said, rubbing something cold on Ginny's round belly, making her cry even more when her heart your son's echoed in the bedroom. She needed Harry there, needed him to see that, to hold her hand and say that everything would be okay. Her husband would die if he knew that he had lost his son's birth.

''Where is he, mom?'' Luckily the pains subsided, whatever had been given to her, made her go limp '' Where's Harry? ''

''He's in the way, honey'' Molly stroked her daughter's face, brushing the hair that was stuck to her forehead and kissing there ''You're a warrior, I could never be more proud'' Ginny felt her mother's tears wet her skin, which made her smile and calm down a little.

''Thanks for being here'' But I still want Harry, she swallowed.

The hours didn't seem to pass, the doctors put her in a warm bathtub, then made her sit on a huge pink ball, and they seemed to come back every ten minutes to check how dilated she was. But all Ginny felt was exhaustion.

When the room was full of Weasleys (except Ron and Mione), she couldn't even remember exactly how she got there, ignoring the conversations and photos her mother took, napping for a few minutes - which seemed like decades in her head - and then looking by Harry. The son had calmed down, as if he knew he needed to wait for Daddy to arrive, but now and then he still tapped on her hip and made her grunt with pain, biting her mouth and doing everything she could to breathe.

''Are we ready, Mrs. Evans?'' Dr Iven smiled at all the redheads and households, turning the pregnant woman on the stretcher

''Not without Harry. This baby will stay here until my husband arrives. ''

''I don't know if your son agrees'' The man smiled a little sadly ''He already wants to come into the world'' Ginny denied again, sniffling and trying to ignore the twinge of pain that ran through her spine. Without Harry, no baby would be born

''No'' Molly started to argue with Fleur and Bill, but it was no use, they didn't know how excited Harry was about every little thing, how he cried when they bought the first clothes and set up the baby's room, so excited that Ginny thought she was capable of infusing with love. He was so excited, making plans for the trips they would have together, that now they needed to make a Quidditch court for that little being to learn to fly. There was even a time when he thought Ginny was sleeping while talking to the baby, whispering against her swollen belly; ''I will love you with all my life, as I have never loved anyone but your mother, and I promise to try to be the best father''

If anyone was supposed to be in that room, it was Harry Potter.

"Ginny, you need ..."

''..Not without Harry!'' And finally, when she started to think that she really would have to do it alone, feeling her hip hurt even more, the door was swung open, and a man all disheveled, looking a little sweaty , and with the hospital clothes all pies went in

''I'm here, I'm here'' Ginny thought she breathed for the first time in hours, releasing the tears that were trapped in seeing him there, almost sobbing when he hugged her ''I'm sorry, please'' Harry also seemed to cry , with his head buried in her neck "Ron was slow to find me, and I was too well protected to be spotted easily" She hugged him as she could, nodding

''I don't care anymore, not when you're already here'' She said, sniffling tearfully ''It hurts so much Harry'' She revealed, trying to speak as low as possible ''I'm so scared ''

''No need, I'm with you'' They broke up, and Ginny never felt so confident, shaking her husband's hand as she felt him wipe the tears that stained her cheeks. ''Let's do this together. I'm here.'' She nodded, looking back at Dr Iven, who seemed to be analyzing some paperwork, as if he wanted to give them the moment.

''I'm ready'' 

''Well, now I want everyone to leave ...'' And he started, saying again about all the steps they would take, updating her on the baby's health - perfect - and her health - also, perfect - before adjust Ginny's legs and ask for strength.

It was an absurd pain, it tore all her skin and it seemed absurd that she was going to be able to do that. Harry squeezed her hand, encouraged her, kissed her forehead and stood beside her, looking much more tearful than in his entire life, especially when the doctor said the head was gone.

Ginny can hold her son and take him away, pulling him up and listening to the crying echoing through the room, loud and resounding, showing that he was alive. She could barely see, crying as much as the little one, putting it on her chest and barely caring about all the dirt, kissing the little forehead and looking at Harry beside her, kneeling and trying unsuccessfully to wipe away all the tears.

''What's his name?''

''James.'' Ginny smiled at her husband, exhausted, never wanting to let go of the small package that was in her hands ''James Sirius Potter'' She knew that Harry would have to stun the doctor so that the man would not question his last name but at that moment nothing else mattered

''I think I'm going to die of love'' He smiled and rubbed James's head, the little tufts of gray hair making him smile, his cry still echoing as if he complained about coming out of his hot bubble and comfortable for this cruel and cold world.

Harry cut the umbilical cord that still held Ginny and James together in one body, before he crouched down next to her and kissed her with as much love as the day they were married.

''I love you, and I will always be here'' They were family now.

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Saturday 26 September 1835

8

12 ¼

No kiss rain last night from between 11 and 12 to after one - rainy morning but not heavy rainy  till near 9 then fair and F55° - breakfast at 9 ¼ - A- getting off her speech for the first stone laying and I writing out mine put on my new pelisse and had my hair done - Marian was to have gone to the 1st stone laying, but got nervous and staid at home - A- and I off at 10 ¾ in my own carriage (with our 2 men behind) to Northgate hotel - not quite ready for us - began looking over the drawings of Northgate and by mistake kept the people waiting and did not begin the ceremony till about 11 ¾ which lasted about ¼ hour - A- did her part very well - the coins of the King’s reign (William IV) i.e. a sovereign, ½ ditto, ½ crown, shilling and sixpence (could not get at 7/. piece very scarce - Swanns the bankers in York had only seen two of William 14th 7/. pieces) were put into a large mouthed green glass bottle as also an inscription engraved on sheet-lead and rolled up tight - the cork was dripped in tar, then put into the neck of the bottle and covered over with course red wax - should have been hermetically sealed but Messrs. Harper and Husband could not get it done - had no blowpipe - I said I could have got it done at old Charles Howarth’s - no! because it was not plate glass - the green glass too difficult to fuse! the stone in which the hole was made that [A-] put the bottle into was a larger square piece of rough stone from one of Stock’s quarries, whence comes the rest of the stone wanted, and formed the footing of the front corner (nearest Halifax) of the casino - over this footing was put a very large mass of girt-stone quarried at Northgate in digging for the cellar, and which they called the foundation stone - there must have been a hundred people collected round the spot - 2 neatly dressed young ladies? some respectable looking men and the rest rabble - there was a little crowd to push thro’ to get into the wall-race - Mr Nelson junior and his men were in working costume - the bottle was held in hand by A- while she addressed Mr N- as follows ‘Mr Nelson, I have been requested to my friend Miss Lister, to lay the 1st tone of a casino, which will form a spacious and commodious saloon to be annexed to the Northgate hotel - I will only add that we hope and trust that the undertaking will prove an accommodation to the inhabitants of this town and neighbourhood, in whose prosperity we feel interested; that it will be an accommodation to the public at large, and that it will do credit to all the individuals concerned in its erection’ - This said A- deposited the bottle - 8 or 10 men lowered down and properly placed over it the foundation stone to which A- then gave 3 right earnest strokes with her mallet, and I spoke as follows looking now at Mr N- and now at the people assembled round -  ‘Mr Nelson - my friend Miss Walker has done us great honour, and I trust her good wishes will not be in vain - I am very anxious that this Casino with its annexed Hotel should be  an accommodation to the public at large, but more especially to this my native town in whose prosperity I ever have felt, and ever shall feel, deeply interested - I earnestly hope that the work we are now beginning, will do credit to us all - may the voice of Discord be never heard within its walls, may persons of every share of varying opinion meet together here in amity and in charity and my none ever go away dissatisfied but such, if such there be, whom good cheer and good humour cannot please!’ - I heard someone of the crown say ‘very well’ - A- and I hurried back into the carriage 3 cheers were given - Mr Harper gave us back the silver trowel, and we drove off to call on Mr and Mrs Musgrave at the vicarage - the inscription on the sheet-lead put into the bottle (written by Mr Gray on Tuesday) was as follows

‘The first stone of a spacious Casino, which will be annexed to a handsome public hotel, to be erected at Halifax was laid on the 26th day of September A.D. 1835. in the sixth year of the reign of King William IV by Miss Ann Walker the younger of Cliff Hill, Yorkshire in the name and at the request of her particular friend Miss Anne Lister of Shibden Hall, Yorkshire, owner of the property.’

Sat 3/4 hour from 12 5 to 12 50 at the vicarage with Mr and Mrs M- I mentioned A-‘s having been laying the 1st stone of the Casino - they, or rather Mrs M- let out their belief that the thing would not answer - said it was reported Mr Carr of the White Swan had taken it - of which I said I knew nothing - I see most people think the thing will be a losing concern and laugh at me for so throwing away my money - nous verrons - called at Mr Parker’s office (he came to the carriage door) to say the Sutherlands were to be in Halifax - we supposed at Mr P-‘s at 2 ½ - I ordered handbills to be put against holly stealers and wood and young tree damagers offering 10/ reward for each one taken, on conviction - home about 1 ½ - some while with my aunt - repeated our speeches and amused her - found A-‘s quondam Highlander servant James come to see her -

SH:7/ML/E/18/0104

Mr Harper came at 2 - in and out with him till left him at the tail-goit at 4 ½ , I to go to meet A- at Cliff Hill, and he to go to Mawson’s Stump x Inn to see that the dinner at 5 for the Northgate workmen was all right - Mawson much obliged - thought it would have been at Carr’s - asked 1/3  head for eating and 2/6 a head for drink - Mr Harper gave him 1/6 a head for eating and his price for drink = 4/. a head - I thought to have given 5/ a head- with Mr Harper at the cascade bridge and at Adney bridge, and in the new farmyard - they had got wrong this morning with the buttress - the 2nd ramp above the wall instead of being a ft or 2 below it - approved Mr Harper’s consequent manner of finishing them - carrying them above the wall and capped chevron-wise - Gave him Washington plan of the engine wheel dam goit - he is to calculate the proper dimensions of the wheel - found that the Manns were driving the tail-goit dead level instead of giving it 2ft. of fall from the mouth to the wheel as Mr Harper had advised and I thought I had fully explained to Holt - Mr Harper told them to give 18inch of fall (supposing about ¼ of the length of goit to be done) from where they left off to the wheel - the fall of 4inch at the last 3 or 4 yards towards the mouth - foolish - asked Mr Harper why he gave back the trowel, I supposing Nelson ought to have had it - he said when the owner of the property laid the 1st stone, sometimes the architect got the trowel, and sometimes those kept it who could get hold of it - but when a stranger (not the owner) laid the 1st stone, he thought it customary to give the trowel to the stranger as a memorial of their building, and he thought therefore Miss W- should have it - thanked him for the hint - but said I, there ought to be an inscription - talked it over a little - said I would send him the trowel tonight with a copy of the inscription and an impression of my arms - he said Cattle and Barber would engrave it well, but were so dear - this, in this case, not to be minded - would perhaps charge 2 guineas for the engraving - asked 5 for the trowel, but he bound them down to price per oz. and got the trowel (well made and good) for 3 guineas - At Cliff hill at 5 5 - there about ½ hour -  Mrs AW in her best sorts - the Sutherlands gone to Mr Parker’s in Washington’s gig - A- and I walked back by Lower brea and the walk, and came in at 6 35 - A- wrote a handsome letter to Mr Gray speaking handsomely of Mr Watson - persuaded Mr G- could not have sent any one more likely to satisfy all parties - had great pleasure Mr Washington had [proved] right, and the deeds were quite correct - I wrote out the following inscription for the trowel                        

‘To Miss Walker the younger of Cliff Hill, Yorkshire, For laying the first stone of the Casino, to be annexed to the Northgate Hotel at Halifax. XXVI  VIIbr. [September] A.D. MDCCCXXXV.’  

Had just done as A- came to say the Sutherlands who had come a few minutes before had inquired about my block tin deed-box - told her to shew them upstairs into to the kitchen chamber where it has stood since A- came very civil to the S-s - opened the box for them and advised about it - then shewed the inscriptions - Mrs S- seemed pleased - in short, we are capital friends - they stood talking upstairs and down in the drawing room - captain S- wrote a note for George to take to Mr Parker (to countermand places in the coach for Tuesday morning to Manchester and say they would stay till Friday A- had persuaded them to stay - they were easily persuaded) - and Mrs S- took a glass of wine and a biscuit - in the midst about 7 ½ Mr Gray was announced - we all startled but A- remembered it must be Mr S. Gray - had him in the drawing room for the S-s escaped into the little north parlour on the 1st sound of his name, and went away - apologized to Mr SG- saying his room was not quite ready - he would be dull tomorrow and I thought he had better go to the Inn (Carr’s) till Monday morning - sent him in the hot roll of beef A- and I were to have had and potatoes etc etc and said the servant was going to the post in about an hour, and would take his (Mr SG’s) travelling bag - Came upstairs A- added a post scriptum to her letter to Mr Gray to say the S-s had just been here and Captain S- said there were some errors in the deeds but which she did not pretend to understand - I did up the trowel and inscription and sent them by George (at 8 ¾) to Mr Harper at the White Swan (Carr’s) and A- sent her letter and Mr SG went back to the Inn - dinner at 8 ¾ - coffee - my father going to bed as we sat down to dinner - it seems captain S- makes a great merit (as great as he can) of having found out errors in the deeds - humbug - Washington was right - pointed the required plantation (1ac.0r.14 perches at Windy End Golcar) in an instant - was at Crownest all the while and would have been at Cliff Hill in 2 or 3 minutes - was not the real fact that Captain S- wanted an excuse for conning over the deeds at his leisure again and with Mr Parker? what must Messrs. Gray and Watson think of him? with my aunt from 10 to 10 35 - then wrote the last 14 lines of yesterday and the first 7 of today - very fine day  F57 ½° now at 11 35 pm