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littlemisslipbalm · 4 years ago

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“Similar Tastes” Pt. 2

Summary: After Harry and you leave the bar, you can’t stop fighting, but it leads to one of the best nights of your life

Did someone order smut with a side of smut and an extra topping of SMUT?!? because that’s what we’ve got and some cuteness at the end but holy shit.

You guys were so awesome about part 1 and then I got some requests to do a smutty part 2 so ENJOY, this sealed my fate to hell so yeah bahah. - not proofread bc the app is trash and posted before I was ready

Word Count: 3.8k | Warnings: SMUT, slight degradation kink?, daddy kink, it’s not as dirty as i thought it was now that i’m writing this warning

Pt. 1

“Ouch! Can you scoot back?”

“Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously! I cannot believe you.”

You and Harry hadn’t made it the entire short trip back to his house without fighting. Despite how completely hot you were for each other, the bickering just never seemed to end. Now you were straddling his lap still inside his parked car in his driveway. You had decided kissing would cut out the talking, but now your ass was shoved uncomfortably against his steering wheel and you were feeling extremely crushed rather than sexy. And Harry wouldn’t move.

Harry’s lips peeled off of the side of your neck and glared up at you, “Let’s just go inside.”

You huffed, “Yeah, this isn’t working.”

He popped open the car side door and you climbed off of him and adjusted your top that now had your tits spilling out of it. Harry grinned at the sight, “Don’t need to put those away now, love, ‘bout to see it all soon.”

“Not if you keep speaking to me like that.” You began to stalk up to Harry’s front door, crossing your arms with your head held high. You had begun to question why you had agreed to go home with Harry when he truly could be a total jerk. He jogged to catch up with you and when he reached your side, his large hand landed a slap on your ass and you remembered why, he made you horny.

“Don’t be like that…” He whispered close to your ear and you bucked your head into his shoulder in response.

After opening the door and ushering the pair of you in, Harry’s hands pushed you up against the door with fervor and went to kiss you. As his wet pink lips were about to connect with yours, you turned your head and he only kissed your cheek. Exasperated, Harry’s forehead rested against yours. “What now?”

“Say sorry,” you stated.

“What?!” His head moved back and his eyes stared wildly at you in the dim lighting of the house.

“Apologize for being rude or you can forget about fucking me...all night long,” you smirked, feeling extremely powerful in this moment.

“Y/N…” Harry contemplated it for a minute, to give in and have a good night or continue to fight and do nothing. His growing erection tugged at his attention as it began to press into your leg and he decided his best option was to give in, “I’m sorry.”

“For what exactly?” Your head tilted as a finger trailed down his chest.

“For being rude…”

“And?”

“What else do you want me to say?”

“Apologize for how you’re always stepping on my toes.”

“Am not!” Harry was over your little power trip, “You got your apology, no let’s get back to what we’re actually here for.” He went in to kiss you and you granted him a peck before pulling back again.

“You’re unbelievable, Harry-” He ignored your words and cut you off by moving his mouth down to your neck, beginning to suck vigorously. Your body shivered at his touch, gripping onto his shoulder for some sort of purchase.

“Oh yeah, tell me how much you fucking hate me, sweetheart,” he breathed against your neck eventually. His hands were gripping both of your ass cheeks and the pressure of his dick against your thigh had your wetness growing instantly. Trying to choke down a moan, you whimpered, “I do hate you…”

He licked up the side of your neck and nipped at your ear lobe, whispering he said, “Sure ya do.” He was mocking you and you were loving it, feeling like you were about to melt in his hands. Like you had said earlier, you both had similar tastes in bed. So you felt ecstatic to actually be in his arms right now.

His lips pressed open mouth kisses along your jaw and you were trying, and failing, to keep your panting to a minimum. Your wetness was only growing as Harry continued to press his broad chest against your heaving breasts. He slipped a leg between yours, as he had in the bar alleyway, and pressed up into your clothed heat.

“Fuck..” you sighed.

“Panting like a fuckin’ bitch in heat for my cock, huh? Can feel your wet pussy throbbing for me, pet.” Harry spat out as he continued to suck on every inch of skin that was exposed, from your lips to your neck to your cleavage. It felt amazing, but you wanted more.

Suddenly, Harry flipped your body around so that your front was pressed against the doorway, his hard dick pressed between your ass cheeks. His lips went back to your neck, one of his hands gripped low on your hip and the other went to hold onto your throat. His hold on your neck caused your head to be shoved back on his chest. He was constricting your breathing in the most perfect way, turning you on even more at just the fact that he knew exactly what he was doing. You whimpered out meekly at his words and actions, feeling blissfully overwhelmed. You managed to push your ass up against his crotch more, but that was about the extent of your will power in that moment.

“Remember when you were doing this with that woman? Your little pretty mouth on her neck, your body moving perfectly against hers. Had to force myself to look away, was starting to get hard from just the sight.”

You moaned as you felt Harry’s large hand go down and cup your mound over your pants. You cursed yourself for wearing trousers out, then you wouldn’t have been matching with Harry and he’d now have extremely easy access to where you wanted him now.

Gaining a little strength, you pulled from Harry’s grasp and faced him again. Your hands began to tug at the few buttons that were still done on his shirt. As you worked, you pushed him further into the house hoping he’d get the hint to take you to his room.

“Then that actual asshole came up. You looked fucking hot with all that rage in your eyes,” Harry sighed as he pulled you to his room, his hands never leaving yours even if you weren’t kissing. “Wanted to beat him up, though, for what he said.”

“Yeah, I’d never seen you that angry,” you finished with his shirt and Harry finished pulling it off of him. Your hands ran down his chest, feeling the grooves created by his muscles and seeing the black ink of his tattoos, “Fucking hot…” Then they went for his belt, but Harry stopped you, “You need to be much less dressed, pet.” He tugged off your tiny navy top and you reached around for your bras clasp, again he stopped you and took his own nimble fingers to take it off for you. As the bra slid down your arms, Harry’s lips flew to your right nipple, engulfing it with a slight groan. A hand ran up your naked figure and squeezed at the other one as his tongue swirled at your nipple, causing it to pebble.

Then he rasped, “Pants.” But you simply stood there, staring at him with terribly large doe eyes. You were throbbing for him, but you wanted him to be more aggressive with you. When you did nothing, his mouth and hands left your body and he stood up straight. His large body towered over yours and a smirk grew on his face as he scanned your frame.

“I said, pants.”

“Why don’t you do it yourself.”

“Oh, so you’re also a stuck up princess in the bedroom, too? Makes sense.”

Harry was quick to unbutton your pants and then yank them, along with your thong, down your legs, leaving you completely exposed. As you went to kiss him, he roughly turned you around again, pulling your back into him and sitting on his bed. His arm was wrapped around your waist as his head rested on your shoulder. He widened his legs, causing yours to follow suit, which led you to be completely spread for him. Your breathing was heavy, your tits heaving up and down in anticipation for what Harry was about to do next. With his free hand, he rested it on your right knee and began to drag his fingertips up your thigh at an agonizingly slow rate. Your hips bucked in anticipation when he was about halfway up your thigh. He wasn’t kissing you at all, his wide eyes trained on your lower body on top of his clothed legs. You felt him swallow hard against you due to your movement on top of his dick.

“Keep still, pet, trying to focus.”

His arm around your waist gripped tighter and you let out a shaky breath. His fingertips moved further away from your heat as punishment. Your legs widened, trying to entice Harry to move faster as you laid against his toned body. The heat that his body emitted was burning your skin. The way his soft skin of his chest felt against your back was intoxicated, you wanted to touch and kiss every inch of it. But Harry wasn’t happy with the movement, his hands stopped again. You both were in agony, needy for each other, but the name of the game was ‘similar tastes’, so you both knew you loved the chase.

“I told you,” Harry growled, “to not move. Do you just want Daddy to stop? Is that what you want, pet?”

And there it was. The daddy kink. You moaned loudly at his words, unable to hold back now.

“Fuck you,” you spat.

He tensed, but then he continued his slow travel to your center, his fingers growing impatient. His arm around your waist slid up to your throat again, “Now that really is no way to talk to me now is it? M’gonna have to punish you, yeah?” Your head strained to look back at Harry and he allowed it. Your eyes meeting his and you bit your lip in response, his fingers just at the fleshy crease between your thigh and your pussy now. “You’re filthy, though, so I know that’s what you’ve wanted all along, hmm?”

His rough hand now cupped over your bare mound, “Answer me, pet.”

“Yes,” you whimpered.

“You’re forgetting something…Not gonna touch you until you say it.”

You whispered, almost inaudibly, “Daddy…”

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?” He said happily, his voice still containing that low rasp as he gripped over your pussy, not dipping in yet just holding it tightly. His grip also tightened on your neck a bit and you felt completely held up by Harry’s two hands. Your breathing got even heavier and then you screamed. Harry let a single finger slip between your folds and the juices came spilling out around it. You were so wet for him and the small movement had you pushing down hard on his hand. He flicked it up to your clit and swirled around there for a moment before pushing back down and inside your weepy hole.

“So fucking wet, it’s almost unbelievable. Except I know what a slut you are, so fucking needy for my cock.” You had no idea what to say, he knew exactly what he was doing to you and you loved being taken control of like this in the bedroom, even with Harry - maybe especially with Harry.

He took you off of his lap and threw you onto the bed, your body splayed out for him, your dripping pussy glistening up at him through the darkness.

“What? No comeback?” He began, undoing his belt and taking off his pants. His hard cock sprang free, leaving him completely naked as well. “Who knew all I had to do was get you in bed to finally shut you up?” He spread your legs apart again, knees falling out by your hips. He stared down at your naked body and devoured it with his eyes.

“Come on, tell me you hate me. Lie to my face, Y/N.” His body came between your legs, his lips hovering over your dripping cunt for a moment before continuing up your body until he was face to face with you. His now freed dick was laying perfectly nestled between your pussy lips as he stared down at you. The head pressing down on your plumped clit. His neck strained as he held himself up and your eyes flickered down between your bodys to see where they were connected. His golden skin that stretched perfectly over every dip and curve of his body had you screaming inside. This moment was a thousand degrees and you wanted it to last forever.

“Hello? Is there anyone still in there?” Harry took a hand from beside your face and tapped on your cheek. You nodded about to open your mouth and say something coherent. “Actually, you know what, save your lies, I have a better idea for when you can tell me them.”

He leaned down and pressed an oddly sweet kiss to your lips. Then he shifted the pair of you back further on the bed. He leaned back on his knees and gripped his dick in one hand. He reached his other out to your mouth, “Spit,” you easily complied. He switched hands, gave his dick a few pumps and then lined it up with your opening. Without any further warning his thrusted deeply inside of you. For the second time that night, you screamed, and then you screamed out Harry’s name when he gave you a second thrust. He had your body arched off the bed as he sat up on his knees with your legs wrapped around his hips, your heels digging into the top of his ass, and his hands gripping your hips. His abs were rippling as he held the two of you up. But then he stopped, his green eyes were now the color of a dark abyss and they were boring straight through you. You whined out, “Harry, what the fuck?”

“Tell me a lie.”

“What?”

“If you want me to keep fucking your needy little cunt, tell me one reason you hate me. For every lie, you get another thrust of my cock.”

His words with his cock sheathed inside of you almost made you cum right there. His dick was completely stretching and filling you up and you could feel your juices dripping out of where you were connected. You needed him to move.

“I fucking hate you…” you seethed. “Uh-huh, tell me why,” Harry egged you on and began to pull out slightly, the movement making you shudder and struggle for words. “Because you wear the same clothes as me.”

“Good.”

He pulled completely out until just his tip was at your entrance. You felt empty and wanted him back, he pushed harshly back inside, both of you moaned out at the feeling.

“I hate you because you think you’re the best at everything,” you moaned out, Harry thrusted.

“Right back at you,” He growled.

“I hate you because you steal the spotlight.”

“Again, you.” Harry thrusted.

As much as he liked this game he had created, the sweat on his forehead was starting to pool, he needed to fuck you faster or else he was going to lose it. Seeing you laid out around him, writhing in pleasure, panting insults as you gripped the sheets and your tits, it was all too much.

“I hate you...because you’re too fucking slow at this,” you gasped as he gave you another slow thrust.

He leaned forward and kissed one of your tits before sticking his tongue into your mouth and sucking harshly. You kissed back fervently, needing any sort of release from the agony of the pressure building inside of you.

“You’re right, you’re taking too long to give me even mediocre lies,” he whispered once he pulled away.

With his dick inside of you, Harry took your legs from around him and flipped you around him. Again you screamed and Harry smirked at the sound, he loved to hear the way you sounded just because of him. He gripped your hips from behind now, fingers digging into your fleshy hips and ass, marking you as his. He did a quick preliminary thrust to test out the feel of this new position. With your head already pushed into the bed and your hands grabbing out in front of you, you moaned loudly.

“That’s better,” Harry muttered, taking one hand to land a loud smack onto the side of your ass. You jumped forward, but his other hand held you in place. “Be a good girl.”

Then he’s off, his hips snapping into action, pistoning his cock deep inside your folds. The sounds you two made with your body were obscene in the most literal sense. The squelching of your juices when his cock disappeared inside of you mixed with the hearty moans Harry and you were both emitting was a symphony of pleasure.

Eventually your moans turned to high-pitched repeated chants of “Uh-huh” as your release neared. Harry’s hips never slowing down, possibly moving even faster, he enjoyed hearing you come undone beneath him, your body bouncing just with the sheer force of his dick inside of you. “Gonna cum?” His thrusts never ceasing, his chest glistening with sweat as his cross pounded against it with each push inside of you. He rubbed over the red spot on your ass from him slapping you before.

You moaned out, “Yes daddy!”

“Tell me how much you hate me again?” He asks, pounding relentlessly, trying to tip you over the edge. He slaps your ass again, stinging your cheek and sending that feeling throughout your body, “Tell me.” His moans were out of control, yet his voice when he spoke was almost completely calm, if only slightly breathless.

He pulls out, punishing you for not answering fast enough. “Harry…” you whine. He grabs your legs and pulls you to the edge of the bed so now your feet are on the ground. He kicks your feet so that you widen your legs and shoves his angry red cock back inside your walls. He’s just about ready to cum as well, but he wants you to say something first. He begins speeding back up to his original speed as he grabs your body and brings it flush against his. Both your bodies are clammy against one other, beads of sweat running down your spine and between his pecs. He brings one hand to your tit and squeezes it hard, another moan escapes your mouth. Then, his other goes down your stomach and lands on you clit. As he begins to rub, he asks you again to tell him.

Finally, you breath out, in time with his thrusts, “I” “Fucking” “Hate” “You” “Ha-aahhhh” You don’t get to finish your sentence, your body begins to convulse in Harry’s grip, your orgasm overtaking any brain function. His dick is still bobbing in and out of you, but Harry released your body from against his, and you fall back down to the bed.

As he chases his own release, he moans out in complete euphoria how your pussy has gripped and tightened around his cock after your orgasm. It’s like it was milking him and his thrusts became completely erratic. Finally he released, his load spurting inside you and painting your walls with cum. He collapsed on top of your body on the bed, exhausted.

“I hate you, too,” he whispered into your ear, pecking a kiss on your cheek that wasn’t pressed into the bed.

As you laid there, coming down from your highs, you began to feel bits of Harry’s cum drip down your leg.

“Harry, you need to get off of me.”

“But I like it here, feels nice.”

“Your cum is starting to drip out of me, not to mention your dick’s still in there too.”

“Like I said, feels nice.”

He was right, it was hot. Feeling the pressure of him all around you after what had just happened. You were completely consumed by this man. He was everything for however long you two had just been fucking and you had loved it. The way he had taken control, the way he’d made you feel, all of it.

After a few more moments, however, he did listen to your request and slid out of you. He went to his bathroom to clean the two of you up and brought you back a t-shirt so you didn’t have to be naked.

“Thanks,” you mumbled, staring down at Harry who had just wiped down your pussy with a warm washcloth.

He nodded and rose back up to dispose of the washcloth somewhere else, leaving you in the center of his bed, swimming in the random t-shirt he had given you. You had slowly regained your normal pattern of breathing, but you were completely wiped out with exhaustion. When

Harry came back, you asked, “What time is it?”

“Half past 2”

“Shit…” you looked around, not even seeing your own clothes, “that’s late.”

“You can stay here?”

“I don’t have to.”

“It’s okay with me,” Harry shrugged.

“Really?”

“Of course, I meant what I said earlier, Y/N. I care about you, I’m not going to send you out to find your way home at 3 am.” He’d found a clean pair of boxers and slid onto the bed next to you. He tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear and you stared up at him.

“I know what we did just now was, like, a hate fuck...But I don’t hate you, Harry.”

He laughed softly at your words, “I gathered.”

You swatted at his bicep, but smiled brightly, “Shut up!”

“Told you to tell me lies and you told me reasons you hated me, meaning you actually don’t hate me at all.”

“I know that, I was there!”

“Oh my god, it’s never ending with you, huh?” Harry moaned as he wrapped his arms around you and brought the pair of you into a laying down position, with your body on top of his.

“Ok, daddy,” you mocked.

“Hey! I know you liked that just as much as I did,” he huffed.

You grinned, your face millimeters from his also smiling face. “Yeah, yeah I did,” you say. Then your voice grew a lot more serious and a lot softer. You stared straight into Harry’s eyes and his expression grew soft. “Y’know as much as I like passionate, hate sex..I also like, um, y’know, like passionate, loving sex.”

“I - me too. We could try that, too, next time,” Harry’s eyes brightened at your suggestion and he ran a hand down the backside of your hair, petting you softly, comforting you.

“We might need to be a little nicer to each other, in regular life, too,” your statement coming out more as a question. Your fingers fiddling with themselves on top of Harry’s broad chest.

“I think I can manage that. Maybe we can talk about what we’re planning on wearing to places beforehand so that we don’t end up wearing matching outfits.”

“Or! If this ever did become serious, we could be one of those couples who coordinated their outfits.”

You both burst out in laughter at your facetious suggestion. Simultaneously you both said, “Never!”

Harry craned his neck up and planted a kiss to your lips. You smiled into the kiss, pressing your lips down so he could lay back and kiss you more easily. His hand cradled the back of your neck and your lips danced together softly, enjoying each other’s presence.

taglist: @delfidemarco @detroitkiwis @burberryharold @avhrodite @iconicharry

@cronias13 @theresthingsthatwellneverknow @harrys-cherrry @harrxier @sltwins @awesomebooklover17 @harrys-stan

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #similar tastes #pt 2 #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fan fic #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles imagine #harry styles oneshot #harry styles filth #harry styles dirty imagine

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silverlightqueen · 4 years ago

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‘I can be whatever you want me to be, babe.’

fratboy/jock!Jimin x cheerleader!reader (bc apparently I don’t know how to not write university aus) - e2l, smut, angst, humour, a teensy bit of fluff if you squint

Part of ficswithluv’s Bulletproof Bingo!

Rating: 18 (graphic sex and mature themes)

Word Count: 14.9k+

Warnings - there’s a lot (because this is absolute filth) so please read carefully! discussion of drugs and consumption of drugs, alcohol consumption, mention of rape, brief mention of murder and violence, brief mention of STDs, extremely bad language, extreme sexual tension (like on another level guys), brief mention of stripping, Jimin is a total dick, a lot of arguing and insulting, y/n has way too much pride for her own good, Jimin is too arrogant for his own good, mention of Namjoon being naked (you’ll understand when you read it), explicit sex, unprotected sex (use protection guys!), hate sex, (really) rough sex, very slight dubcon (she doesn’t explicitly say yes but she does give him consent), dom!Jimin and sub!y/n, y/n is the brattiest bratty stubbornest brattiest brat, very explicit dirty talk, asphyxiation, mention of spitting during sex, marking, y/n does a little striptease, nipple play, finger sucking, cum licking/swallowing, multiple orgasms, orgasm denial, edging, begging, spanking, hair pulling, punishment, pussy slapping, degradation, mild sadism and masochism, very brief exhibitionism, fingering, oral sex (m receiving) and mention of oral sex (f receiving), face fucking, gagging, thigh-riding, overstimulation, Jimin has a big fat huge monster cock, teasing, manhandling, slapping during sex, penetrative sex, squirting, cunnilingus, (I’m sure that’s it, but please let me know if you notice that I missed something!)

a/n: hey guys! please enjoy this absolute filth lmao (blame black haired Jimin for being the sexiest person in the world). the biggest thank you to the love of my life @silverlightprincess for proof-reading this two nights in a row and hyping it up so much, you’re the best and I love you. lmk what you think and hmu if you’re interested in a part two x

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‘Please come with me. I can’t go by myself,’ I whine at Jennie who sits on her bed, watching me in amusement like she’s watching a film or TV show.

‘Nope, and I already told you why; I don’t want to see him, not after what happened,’ she says, and I roll my eyes as I order an Uber. ‘So you’re really gonna make me go by myself? What if I get drugged, or beaten up, or raped, or murdered, or-’ ‘y/n!’ she exclaims reproachfully, and I shrug, ‘it could happen.’ ‘Well, it won’t. Loads of our friends are there. Wendy and Irene and Seulgi, Yeri and Joy, loads of people,’ she lists off. ‘Yeah, and they’ll be there, too,’ I sigh. ‘Well, I mean, it is at their house,’ she says, holding back a laugh, and I stick my tongue out at her.

‘You know what I mean. I hate them – jocks are so unbearable. It’d be better if you were there,’ I say, pouting. ‘You’re a liar, you don’t hate them. Just him,’ she points out. ‘Well, what if he tries something? He’s so strong, he could literally lift a car if he wanted to-’ ‘Bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?’ she says, and I roll my eyes again. ‘You know what I mean. The point still stands that he’s strong – you’re the one that saw him at the gym lifting more than your body weight. And remember when he knocked one of the players on their opposing team to the floor in that match last year, and he was literally twice his size. If that guy couldn’t take him on, how can I?’ ‘And you think I can? I’m smaller than you, you idiot.’ ‘But you’re scary.’ ‘You’re scarier than me,’ she says mildly, and I sigh. ‘Please, Jen. It’s not even that big of a deal, what happened. If anything, it’s more embarrassing for him than for you,’ I say, trying so hard to persuade her. ‘It is a big deal. It only happened yesterday – I at least need to give it a couple days before I can face him again.’ ‘Fine, I’ll go by myself. If I’m not home in the morning, it’s on your head,’ I say dramatically, pulling on my heels.

‘Don’t be like that,’ she reprimands before launching into a speech, ‘you look absolutely gorgeous and the boys will be all over you, so don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and if you do, please use a condom. I don’t need you bringing an STD back with you. If there’s an emergency, or you need me to pick you up, call me. Make sure you keep me updated on what’s going on. Don’t drink anything anyone gives you – pour your own drinks. Make sure you’re always with one of the girls.’ ‘Okay, okay! I’ll see you later, mum!’ I exclaim, and she laughs, pulling me into a hug. ‘Be careful, y/n,’ she says gently, and I nod. ‘When am I not, Jen?’ I say, and she raises an eyebrow. I leave our dorm and head down the corridor, opting to take the lift instead of the stairs – these heels aren’t that high, but I don’t want to take any risks.

My Uber’s already there by the time I get outside, so I jump straight in. The journey there is short (not short enough to walk in heels, though) and within five minutes, we’re pulling up in front of the house. I climb out, the driver instantly zooming away, and I look up at the house in front of me. It’s much bigger than and further away from the rest of the houses on the street, and it has its own little pier out onto the university lake, perfect for drunken skinny-dippers at the end of the night. I head up to the porch, the Greek letters for Alpha Sigma Phi hanging above my head, and push through the slightly open door. The party is already in full swing, loud bass-heavy RnB pulsing through the house, people already drunk and dancing, the smell of drugs thick in the air. I push through the throng of my classmates into the kitchen where I know my friends will be. The lowered volume in the kitchen is brief; only the moment before my friends notice me is quiet. ‘y/n!’ they all shout, and I jump in surprise. ‘y/n, you made it!’ Wendy shrieks, throwing her arms around me. ‘Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it,’ I say, hugging her back. ‘y/n, you look good!’ Yeri exclaims, holding me out for her to admire. ‘Thank you, Yeri, but look at you! Absolutely gorg!’ I don’t get to hear her reply before the rest of my friends greet me, all of them dressed up and drinking. ‘Let me get you a drink. What do you want?’ Irene asks me, and I scrunch up my face in thought. ‘I’ll just have Diet Coke for now – I don’t want any alcohol,’ I say, and I feel a hand appear on my waist. ‘Lightweight,’ I hear his teasing voice, and I can’t stop the big sigh I let out, accompanied by my signature eye roll.

‘Where are your pom-poms today?’ he asks, and I turn to look at him, the smell of vodka strong on him. ‘I was wondering how long I’d have without you bothering me,’ I say, fixing him with a dirty look. I’ve always thought of him as tiny, but he really isn’t – I have to tilt my head back slightly to look at his annoying face because of how close to me he is (he most definitely has lifts in his shoes). And it’s not just his face, that’s annoying, let me tell you that. It’s everything about him. And shall I tell you why? Because it’s all perfect. Everything about him, physically, is infuriatingly perfect. His legs are long and toned, his waist cinched and his frame slim, with vascular hands adorned in silver rings, matching with the silver earrings hanging from his ears and the silver Chanel necklace around his neck (how he can afford Chanel jewellery whilst at university, I don’t know). His lips are plump and glossy, like a Bratz doll, and his eyes are a deep chocolaty brown, framed with dark lashes. His jaw is sharp, his cheeks chubby, and his black hair is soft and fluffy, swept back to reveal the tan skin of his forehead and dark, bold eyebrows. Long story short, he’s beautiful, on the outside. The inside is a whole other story.

‘Bothering you? More like gracing you with my presence. Remember, this is my party, and there are plenty of other, more… willing girls I could be spending my time with, but I chose you. You should be honoured,’ he says with a grin, and I scowl at him. ‘Honoured?’ I echo as Irene hands me a red solo cup with the Coke in it, ‘it’s not your party. It’s Alpha Sigma Phi’s party.’ ‘And what does everyone think of when they think of ASP? This handsome face and the perfect dick that comes with it,’ he says, preening, and I roll my eyes again. ‘Can you not be so annoying and full of yourself all the time?’ ‘I can be whatever you want me to be, babe,’ he says lowly, thumb swiping across his plump lips, and I blink, heart jumping which pisses me off – my own body betrays me when I’m with him. ‘Well, whatever. I don’t think of you when I think of ASP. I think of a bunch of douches,’ I shrug, changing the subject back, and he grins even wider, obviously amused that he managed to make me flustered. ‘Now, now. Is that any way to speak about your friends? I’m sure the other boys would be offended to hear you speak about them like that,’ he says, plucking the cup from my hand and taking a sip. ‘Well, let me correct myself. You’re the douche,’ I say tiredly, and he grins. ‘You won’t be saying that for long. You’ll be eating your words when you feel how good my cock is,’ he forebodes, handing me back my cup, completely empty. ‘I don’t think I’ll be able to feel anything,’ I mutter, throwing away the cup, and he chuckles. ‘Oh, y/n, you do amuse me,’ he grins. ‘Oh, Park, the feeling is most definitely not mutual,’ I say in a bright tone, a fake smile plastered on my face. ‘Good talk, y/n, I’ll see you later,’ he says distractedly as he moves away from me, watching a sophomore that’s just walked in with her friends, wearing a skimpy dress. She’s pretty and looks nice, but I can’t help but dislike her instantly, surprised at myself for being so bitchy.

‘Who are you shooting lasers at?’ Joy asks. ‘Park Jimin,’ I spit out, turning my dirty looks to him instead. Or rather, his back, as he’s now facing away from me, speaking to the sophomore. ‘Cradle robber,’ Joy observes, and I laugh. ‘I wouldn’t quite say cradle robber – we’re only a year older than her,’ I point out, and Joy waves my words away. ‘Still. Anyway, are you drinking?’ she asks. ‘Well, I did have a drink, but he took it and downed it,’ I say, motioning to Jimin who’s now got a hand on the girl’s arm. She looks up at him with a sweet smile, her eyes wide and big, and I almost want to go over and warn her away, knowing he’s just looking for someone to fill his bed for the night. ‘Well, Seulgi brought Malibu, and I know you like it, so here,’ she says, pushing an unopened bottle into my hand and disappearing back into the throng of people. ‘Thanks,’ I say to the spot where she was just stood, plucking a clean cup from the packet, pouring out some of the rum and mixing it with coke (an unopened bottle – I’m no rookie). I also find some straws and pick out a pink one, dropping it into the cup. Just as I begin to take a sip, a pair of big hands clap down onto my shoulders, making me jump and I choke on my drink.

‘Oh, shit, sorry. You okay, y/n?’ I hear Namjoon’s voice as I cough again and again. ‘Do I look okay?’ I ask once I’ve stopped choking, my eyes beginning to water and my face warm. ‘Sorry, I didn’t mean to,’ he says reproachfully, holding back laughter. ‘Idiot,’ I mutter, taking a seat on one of the stools around the kitchen island (these trashy dirty frat boys don’t deserve such a nice house). ‘Sorry. Anyways, how are you?’ ‘I was fine before you tried to kill me. What about you?’ ‘Um, good, yeah. I saw you speaking to Jimin,’ he says, triggering an eye roll. ‘He’s such a pain in the ass. I’m gonna file a restraining order.’ ‘Go for it, I’ll file one too. So, you, um… did you come by yourself?’ he asks, rubbing at the back of his neck, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Don’t be a pussy – say it with your chest,’ I say in a bored tone, and he sighs. ‘Did Jennie come with you?’ he asks quietly. ‘No, she wasn’t feeling too well, so she stayed back at our apartment,’ I grin, and he puts a hand to his forehead. ‘She’s avoiding me, isn’t she? Urgh, I’m such an idiot.’ ‘I can’t argue with you there,’ I reply, and he scowls at me. ‘Sorry. But, it’s true, you are an idiot. I mean, what on earth were you thinking?’ I say, failing to hold back my laughter. ‘I didn’t know that she would be out there. If I’d known…’ he trails off. ‘You wouldn’t have run across the pitch butt naked?’ I ask, and he slaps a hand over my mouth, looking around to see if anyone heard. ‘Keep your voice down! I don’t want people knowing. I lost a bet, and I did it at night-time so no one would see. How was I supposed to know she’d be out there?’ he says defensively, and I shake my head at him in disgust. ‘You’re a mess. And, anyway, yes, of course she’s avoiding you. How can she look you in the face again properly having seen you completely naked?’ I say, struggling to hold back laughter as I think back to Jennie’s face when she walked into our apartment after going somewhere quiet to speak on the phone to her sister, Rose – there was a party going on in the apartment next door, so she went on a walk, conveniently running into (a naked) Namjoon. ‘Oh, go suck Jimin’s dick,’ he says half-heartedly. ‘Go flash Jennie again,’ I retort, and he flips me off before disappearing.

I stay in the kitchen the majority of the night, catching up with all my friends. It’s been a while since I had a chance to socialise; settling back into the Uni schedule after a long summer is tough, especially when you have an entire cheer team to lead. And cheering isn’t easy! People think we just run around in skimpy outfits, chanting and waving pom-poms, but there is so much more to it than that – I’d go as far to say that cheer is one of the hardest sports you can do. I spend so much of my time choreographing and working out to keep fit and planning routines and deciding positions for the team. It requires a lot of dedication and time to get everything done before the season starts. But obviously, a lot of my peers don’t have to dedicate their time to things like that and are used to partying, opting to get black out drunk at these frat parties instead of socialising with their friends. Only three hours after my arrival, there are people passed out all over the place, bedrooms occupied, and drunken students dirty dancing in the living room. Sat in the same stool as three hours ago, I watch Yeri flirt with a senior, feeling proud of my girl. She catches me watching and I put my thumbs up to her, giving her a big encouraging smile, and she quickly looks away for fear of laughing out loud.

‘Ah, y/n. Alone?’ I hear Jimin’s voice from behind me before he takes the seat beside me. ‘Yes, and I was enjoying it,’ I say pointedly, despite knowing he won’t go. ‘How have you been? Still dancing away?’ he asks with a grin, and I roll my eyes. ‘Cheer isn’t the same as dance.’ ‘I’ve seen you on the side-lines while we’re playing – sure looks like dance to me.’ ‘And anyway, why do you have to say it like that? I’m not a stripper,’ I say exasperatedly, completely ignoring his stupid interjection. ‘What’s wrong with being a stripper?’ ‘Nothing, I consider it at least nine times a day.’ ‘Let me know if you decide to pursue that as your career – I’d be more than happy to support you. Maybe even join you if football doesn’t work out for me.’ ‘Oh, I don’t doubt you’d support me, you pervert.’ ‘Now, you know that’s not true. I only flirt with girls that want me back. If they don’t, I leave them alone.’ ‘So why don’t you leave me alone?’ ‘Because it’s clear to me that you enjoy my flirting. You might act like you don’t, but not once have you ever explicitly told me to stop, or to go away,’ he says, and I struggle for a comeback, knowing it’s true. He might be a total dick and I might hate him, but the flirting and the attention, it makes me feel good. It’s a nice feeling, knowing that a boy who could have anyone… wants me. ‘See?’ he points out with a smirk, and I roll my eyes as he takes a sip of the vodka in his hand. ‘You need to deflate your ego a little.’ ‘You need to pull that stick out your arse.’ ‘It’s stuck up there, with your head.’ ‘Touché,’ he laughs, and I shake my head.

‘So, as I was asking before we got side-tracked, how have you been? How are you finding junior year?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Why do you care, Park?’ I ask, and he grins. ‘Why wouldn’t I care?’ ‘Because we don’t like each other.’ ‘I like you,’ he smirks, head resting on his hand, arm leaning on the countertop. ‘No, you don’t, and I sure as hell don’t like you.’ ‘Why do you keep lying to me, and to yourself, y/n?’ ‘I’m not lying. Just because you’re attracted to someone, it doesn’t mean you like them,’ I say, regretting the words as soon as I see the mischievous light in his eyes. ‘You’re attracted to me?’ ‘That’s not what I said.’ ‘It pretty much is, y/n. But it’s okay, I knew that already. It’s just nice to hear it out loud. Well, I hope that’s what you were referring to, and not to me being attracted to you, because that certainly isn’t true,’ he says, my body going cold at hearing his words as my jaw drops. I turn to look at him, a shit-eating grin on his face, and I want to slap it off.

‘You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,’ I say, and he just gives me an infuriating grin. Now, let me make something clear. Park Jimin isn’t that bad. Annoying, flirty, egotistic? Yes, exactly, and everyone loves him for being the star player on the team, which makes it worse. But I can deal with him. He’s not really… the bane of my existence, or anything like that. But he is the most irritating person I’ve ever met. He’s like a chipped nail on a fresh set, or a bird chirping outside your window at 4am when you have an exam. But this? This is on another level. How, how on earth, has he managed to turn the tables onto me like this? ‘What d’you mean?’ ‘What do I me- I mean that you flirt with me every opportunity you get!’ I say, voice getting a little louder with annoyance, and he raises an eyebrow, still looking annoyingly laidback, his smirk and my anger growing at the same rate. ‘So what?’ ‘So… if you’re flirting with me that often, you’re attracted to me. You’ve made it clear you’re attracted to me,’ I say slowly, starting to wonder if I’m missing something, and his grin grows impossibly wider. ‘Just a bit of fun, isn’t it? Doesn’t mean anything,’ he says with a little shrug, and I try to hide the way his words hurt.

‘Fine. Go have a bit of fun with someone else, then,’ I say savagely, facing away from him and crossing my arms over my chest, and yet, he seems nothing but amused. ‘Don’t be like that, babe,’ he says easily, reaching for me, and I slap his hands away, ignoring the pet name. ‘No, leave me alone,’ I say sulkily, and he raises an eyebrow at me as he rests a hand on my thigh, lips twitching when I don’t brush it off. ‘Come on, baby, I was just kidding,’ he smiles serenely, and I turn a scowl to him. ‘Well, I didn’t find it funny, so go find some other girls who will,’ I spit at him, and he’s holding back a laugh, which infuriates me even more. ‘But those girls are boring. You aren’t. So stop being bratty,’ he says, and my mouth falls open slightly, my eyes fixed on his stupidly handsome face. ‘Bratty? I’m being bratty?’ I demand, and he nods, lips slightly quirked up at the ends with amusement. ‘Yes, angel, you are.’ ‘Well… you’re being a dick.’ ‘Real mature,’ he says with a roll of his eyes, and I scowl. ‘Says you, you fucking manchild.’ ‘Wow, you really are a brat. I’ve apologised, like, twice. Get over it and stop being so stubborn.’ ‘I’m not being stubborn! ‘You are.’ ‘Am not.’ ‘Are too.’

‘Wow, you two are children,’ Jungkook’s voice comes from beside us, and we both turn to look at him. ‘How long have you been there?’ Jimin asks moodily, and Jungkook grins, dropping me a wink. ‘Long enough to see that you two need to stop fucking around and… fuck,’ Jungkook says, and I scrunch up my nose in disgust, leaning away from Jimin. ‘Don’t ever say that again. I hate him,’ I spit out, putting emphasis on the word so he understands that I truly mean it, and he rolls his eyes again, taking a sip of his drink. ‘You don’t have to love each other. Hell, you don’t even have to like each other,’ Jin’s voice comes from behind me, and I turn to him with a hard stare. ‘Seriously? Who fucks someone they don’t like?’ I say, both Jungkook and Jin laughing. ‘Lots of people, actually. Honestly, y/n, I promise you, it’s better when you don’t like each other. No strings attached, no obligations afterwards, and you don’t have to think about whether it feels good for them,’ Jungkook explains, and now my entire face is scrunched up in disgust. ‘That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. You men are disgusting,’ I say, giving Jimin a pointed look, and he gasps. ‘Don’t look at me! I’ve never done that!’ Jimin exclaims defensively, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘Yeah, right.’ ‘He’s telling the truth,’ Jin says, and I turn my raised eyebrows to him. ‘Sure.’ ‘No, seriously, he never has. Everyone Jimin fucks adores him, so he’s never known the joy that is hate sex,’ Jungkook says, he and Jin laughing as I give them a disgusted look, Jimin suspiciously silent. ‘Jin, Jungkook, Jimin, come dance with us,’ a high-pitched female voice calls from the living room, all four of us looking to see a group of skimpily dressed freshmen beckoning the boys over. Jin and Jungkook waste no time, practically leaving us in their dust as they rush to join the girls.

I look to Jimin, who hasn’t moved a muscle, still with a stormy expression on his face. ‘Well? Go dance with them,’ I prompt, and his features smooth out before a small smirk curls his lips up. ‘I’d rather stay here, babe, with you,’ he says, and I grit my teeth, trying not to swing for him. ‘You didn’t hesitate to leave me earlier for that sophomore,’ I say despite myself, knowing I sound petty, and he chuckles. ‘Jealous, baby?’ he asks, and I let out a sigh, having had enough. ‘If you’re not going to go, I’ll go,’ I sigh tiredly, getting up from my stool, and heading towards the living room. He grabs my hand as I pass him, turning me around to face him, and I want to pull my hand out of his grasp, but the second I turn to see those big brown eyes on me, I freeze. And I hate it. How can he be such a dick to me all the time, so flirty but then so cold, and I forgive him every time because he’s handsome? How? ‘What do you want me to say, y/n? That you’re prettier, way prettier than the sophomore girl, and those drunk freshmen dancing in the living room? That you’re prettier than every girl in this damn house? Is that what you want?’ he asks, actually sounding sincere for once, and my heart jumps at the compliment. I hate it. I hate him.

‘No. I want you to leave me alone,’ I spit, wrenching my arm from his grasp, and he lets out an amused chuckle. ‘Good, because I hate lying,’ he says with an easy grin, and that little voice in my mind just says, ‘oh’ as I stop still. ‘You know what? Fuck you,’ I whisper, feeling tears in my eyes as I turn away from him, ready to go home. ‘You should be more polite, angel,’ he calls after me, and I can’t help myself, turning to look at him. ‘What?’ ‘I said,’ he replies, getting up from his stool before downing his vodka (I hope it’s mixed with something because he doesn’t wince at all), making me wait until he says, ‘you should be more polite. A request like that? You could at least say please.’ My blood boils, anger actually consuming me as all I can see is red, and that stupid fucking smirk on his stupid fucking face. ‘You’re such a fucking dick, Park. I don’t know who the fuck you think you are,’ I rage, stepping closer to him, and he just carries on grinning at me. ‘Go on, babe,’ he says when I’m silent for a moment, jutting his chin out to prompt me, and I want to actually slam his head into the wall. ‘Just fuck off. I can’t deal with you right now, go find someone who adores you so you can stick your tiny dick down her throat,’ I spit at him, his face twisting with anger at me using his friends’ words against him (or at calling his dick tiny – I’m not sure which), and I stomp towards the back door.

I push open the door, storming through and narrowly avoiding colliding with a group of boys passing around a joint. ‘Oh, hey, y/n!’ Taehyung exclaims when he sees me, a big grin on his face. ‘Hi, Tae,’ I say quickly before rushing up towards the road, pulling my phone out of my pocket to order an Uber. ‘You’re leaving?’ I hear Jimin call after me, and I let out a scream of rage, whirling around to face him. ‘How many times do I have to tell you to leave me the fuck alone?’ I shriek, the few people outside watching us with interest, Jimin marching up towards me. ‘No, you don’t get to say your piece and leave,’ he spits out, jaw clenched in anger, and I look skywards, throwing my hands up in despair. ‘Say what you want to say, then. Go on,’ I prompt, voice shaking with anger.

‘You’re such an uptight little bitch, y/n. You fucking mope around in the kitchen at parties, don’t touch the drugs and barely drink, thinking you’re so high and mighty and above the rest of us. You can’t even take a fucking joke and you turn it into something serious by fucking insulting me!’ he shouts, and I’m a little shocked and a lot hurt, the people around letting out little noises of embarrassment on my behalf. ‘Are you kidding me? Just because I don’t turn into a messy fucking disgrace at parties, doesn’t mean I’m uptight!’ I shout back, taking a step towards him, and he lets out a humourless laugh. ‘See? There you go again! It’s called having fun, y/n, you should fucking try it some time!’ ‘I have fun, you dick!’ ‘Yeah, okay, sure you do. You were sat by yourself at a party. Do you know how sad that is? And me, being the nice guy I am, come to sit with you to talk, and you’re just fucking rude to me!’ ‘Nice guy? You have to be joking! You’re not a nice guy, and you never have been! You’re entitled and egotistic and can’t keep your dick in your pants! You can’t take a hint, and even when I tell you explicitly to leave me alone, you don’t!’ I shout, both of us moving closer and closer to one another. ‘I’m trying to be nice, for fuck’s sake! I don’t understand why you tell me to leave you alone!’ ‘I don’t understand why it is so hard for you to accept the fact that I. Don’t. Like. You,’ I say in his face, emphasising every word, hoping he finally gets the message.

‘You fucking liar,’ he says lowly, taking another step closer to me, centimetres apart from me. ‘Excuse me?’ ‘I said that you’re a liar. You do like me,’ he says, eyes dark as he looks at me, and I scoff, trying to ignore how tense I am now that he’s this close to me. ‘I promise you, I really fucking don’t,’ I laugh, our voices much quieter now, everyone around us still watching the exchange, straining to hear our words. They must be confused to see a girl not falling at the feet of great Park Jimin for once. ‘Stop lying, for once, y/n! Discard your pride, for fuck’s sake! You think I’m stupid?’ he asks, getting even closer to me, so close that his chest brushes against mine, my skin igniting at the touch, and I curse my body for betraying me. ‘You think I don’t see you literally fighting the smile off your face when I compliment you? You think I don’t feel the way you shudder when I touch you? You think I don’t notice how you lean towards me when we’re sat together? You think I don’t see the way your breath catches in your throat when I talk about the things I’d do to you? And it’s sexy, it’s really fucking sexy, and it’s so fucking hot when you play hard to get,’ he whispers, his tone harsh but his words making my entire body feel like it’s on fire because, yes, I fucking hate him, but God, he’s hot as hell. And then he makes me want to strangle him by saying, ‘but you ruin it by being so fucking uptight and taking a stupid little joke to heart.’

I let out a disappointed sigh, opening up the Uber app on my phone. ‘y/n. What the fuck are you doing?’ he asks, an edge to his tone, and I ignore him completely. ‘Are you ordering a fucking Uber?’ he demands, sounding incredulous, and I continue to ignore him, knowing it’ll piss him off even more. ‘I’m trying to fucking speak to you and you’re ordering an Uber? Can you stop being so fucking immature and, like… talk to me? Put down your fucking phone, y/n,’ he says slowly, and I can practically sense how he’s trying so hard to keep a hold of his temper – I can see him clenching and unclenching his fists, the vessels in his hands more visible than ever. And then he snatches my phone out of my hands. ‘Wha-’ I start to say, looking up at him, but I’m startled into silence when my eyes meet his. I’m good at riling him up from time to time, but I have never seen him this angry, not even when he’s playing football. His eyes are dark, cheeks flushed with rage, jaw and fists clenched so tight that I’m worried he might shatter a bone, and I actually feel scared. ‘Give me my phone back, Park,’ I say tiredly, and he lets out a mirthless laugh before turning away from me and heading back towards the house, tucking my phone into the back pocket of his tight black jeans.

‘For fuck’s sake,’ I say before following him – I’ve got too much pride to run after him, especially in heels because my clumsy ass will fall over. ‘Park, I swear to God,’ I call after him, the onlookers laughing. I’m glad they find it funny – I’m just tired, fed up and I want nothing more than to go to bed. He disappears into the house, and I speed up a little, knowing if I lose him, it could take ages to find him in that huge ass house, packed full of people. ‘y/n, babe, wait,’ I hear Yoongi say as I pass their group again, feeling him grab onto my hand. ‘Yoongi, not now. He’s got my phone.’ ‘I know. He told us to distract you,’ Yoongi admits, and I let out a noise of frustration as I pull my hand from his grasp, rushing into the house before another of them can grab me, narrowly escaping Tae’s reach. I see him disappearing into the living room, and rush through the kitchen, pushing through the few people stood around the counters, but I freeze when I reach the living room door. A load of ASP boys are lining up coke on the coffee table with their credit cards, Eric Nam who lives in our accommodation block is passed out at my feet, and a group of girls from the sorority up the road are grinding on each other in the middle of the room, Jungkook in the thick of the throng with his hands on Nayeon’s waist. My eyes scan the room, and I spot jet black hair disappearing into the front hall. I seriously consider just leaving my phone and getting Namjoon to call me an Uber, but my passcode is basic as hell (123456) and I don’t need Jimin snooping around my socials. Or worse – my camera roll.

I step over Eric, narrowly avoiding Momo’s hands stretched out to grab me and dance with me, and sidestep the table covered in coke, bursting into the front hallway where Seulgi stands with Kai, one of the spotters on our cheer team. ‘Hey, babe!’ Seulgi exclaims when she sees me, and I grin at her, momentarily distracted from Jimin. ‘Hey, Seulgi. Hi, Kai. Have you guys seen Jimin?’ I ask, both of them looking at me in confusion. ‘Park Jimin?’ Kai asks, and I nod, a little impatient. ‘He just went upstairs. Why?’ Seulgi asks as I begin to run up the stairs. ‘He stole my phone,’ I shout over my shoulder, ignoring Kai’s shout of, ‘Use protection!’ At the top of the stairs, more of my friends are sat in a circle on the landing, handing a bottle of vodka around. ‘Hey, y/n,’ Mina says when she spots me, the others all greeting me too. ‘Hi, guys. You seen Park Jimin?’ I ask, all of them exchanging a glance. ‘You two about to resolve the sexual tension?’ Dahyun asks with a wiggle of her eyebrows, and I roll my eyes. ‘No, he’s got my phone.’ ‘Ooh, worried he’ll find your nudes?’ Jackson asks with a smirk, and I fix him with a hard stare. ‘He’ll never guess the passcode for ‘My Eyes Only’ so I’m not worried,’ I say evenly, and I have to hold back a laugh when the boys all exchange a glance. ‘Anyway, did you see where he went?’ I ask, getting even more impatient now. ‘He went upstairs – his room’s up there. Second door on the left,’ Jeongyeon says, everyone’s eyes turning to her now. ‘How do you know?’ Jinyoung demands, and I take the moment of them being distracted to sprint up the stairs. With every step, I feel the anger inside me grow, all of the times he’s pissed me off over the past couple years building up within me. I hate him, really fucking hate him, and this is just the last fucking straw.

When I reach his room, I don’t even bother knocking, bursting in. And when my brain registers that he’s lying on his bed, with the pretty sophomore from earlier on top of him, all I can see is red, my hands shaking with fury. She looks up at me in surprise, Jimin completely ignoring my presence and continuing to press kisses to her jaw. ‘I swear to fucking God, Park, I’m going to murder you,’ I say slowly, voice wavering with anger, and the girl has enough sense to get off him. ‘I’m really sorry, I didn’t know he was in a relationship,’ she says, sounding truly apologetic, and I feel bad for her. ‘He’s not. You’re welcome to get back to your thing in a minute – I just want my phone,’ I demand, eyes flitting to the bed where he’s leaning back on his elbows, watching our exchange with amusement. None of us say anything for a few moments, the poor girl caught in between mine and Jimin’s feud.

‘I’m being serious, Park. Give me my fucking phone before I cut your dick off,’ I threaten, knowing I’d make good of it too, but he doesn’t move a muscle, just watching me with eyes sparkling with mirth. ‘You know what? I’m gonna leave you guys to resolve whatever the hell this is,’ the girl says, heading to the door. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I say, truly feeling bad, and she turns back to look at me, stood in the doorway. ‘Don’t be. I think you’ve helped me dodge a bullet. If anything, I’m sorry for you, being involved with him,’ she says quietly, making me laugh, and she laughs too. She really is a nice girl. ‘Thank you. I’ll see you around. I’m y/n, by the way,’ I say, and she nods. ‘I know. I’ve been thinking of trying out for cheer, and everyone I’ve spoken to said to go to you,’ she says, and I let out a little noise of excitement. ‘Oh, my God, you should! You look like you’d be a good flier, and we’re running short of fliers at the moment!’ I exclaim, completely distracted, and she grins. ‘I used to fly at high school, so I’d definitely like to give it a go.’ ‘That’s great. Try-outs are next Saturday, at 12, and I’ll keep an eye out for you. What’s your name?’ ‘Park Jiwon. Do I have to sign up or anything?’ ‘Well, you missed sign-ups, but I’ll put your name down. Just show up,’ I say with a grin, and she smiles back. ‘Thank you, y/n. I’ll see you on Saturday.’ ‘See you, Jiwon,’ I smile, the girl heading towards the stairs with a wave.

When I turn back to look at Jimin, he’s right there in front of me. He pushes the door shut and then slams me up against it, knocking the air out of me before pulling my shoulder bag off my arm and throwing it across the room, the chain strap making a loud clanking noise when it hits the wall. He’s so close that all I can smell is him – the vodka he’s been drinking, his expensive aftershave and… something that’s just him. ‘You’re so fucking hot when you’re jealous, and angry with me. Love getting you all worked up, baby,’ he spits out, voice so low it sounds like a growl, and I’m speechless, literally speechless, his words igniting a fire low in my stomach. ‘You had plenty to say earlier, babe – why so quiet now?’ he asks, eyes dancing with amusement, and I look to the side, unable to hold his heavy gaze. ‘Don’t even think of turning your head away,’ he spits out, my stomach turning when he raises a hand to my chin, moving my head back to face him so my eyes can’t escape his. He holds my head in place, and the feeling of his hand resting loosely around my neck sparks arousal deep within me, my mouth drying. But I have too much pride to submit to him. ‘Give me my phone,’ I demand, and he lets out a chuckle, dark eyes not leaving mine. ‘I don’t know about that, angel. What will you do for me in return?’ he asks, pressing his body against mine so I’m trapped up against the door, and my eyes widen. ‘Nothing. It’s my phone,’ I say slowly, unable to believe how entitled he is. ‘It’s mine now,’ he grins, my mouth falling open. ‘Close your mouth before I spit in it, baby,’ he says, my mouth falling open even more in shock, stomach churning, arousal burning hot in my veins. ‘Don’t tempt me,’ he growls, pushing my mouth closed.

‘Get on your knees for me and I’ll consider giving you your phone back,’ he grins, and I can’t even say anything because he’s holding my mouth closed. ‘Is that a yes?’ he asks teasingly, and I make a noise of frustration, looking down at his hand to try and get him to move it. With a sigh, he removes his hand, and I snap, ‘get your hand off my neck, and give me my fucking phone, Park.’ ‘I always thought you’d be into choking. You seem like a dirty little slut,’ he grins, hand still not moving, my underwear flooding at his words. ‘I swear, Park, I will fucking kill you.’ ‘So you really, truly want me to let go of you? You really want to just get your phone and go?’ he asks, words dripping with amusement, testing me. And I can’t, I just can’t discard my pride – it’s too painful for me to concede to him. ‘Yes,’ I spit out, and his face twists with anger.

‘What is wrong with you, y/n? Why can’t you just fucking let go of your pride for once? I know you want me, I’m not fucking stupid! We’re both attracted to each other so why can’t you just stop fucking around and let me fuck you? I’m not going to do anything without your fucking consent, y/n, I’m not a fucking rapist! Why are you making this so fucking hard for me?’ he demands, rage making his voice shake, and I don’t know what to say. ‘I…’ ‘You what? Go on, fucking speak,’ he prompts, jaw working overtime as he waits for me to answer, hand still resting around my neck, his silver rings cool against my burning hot skin. ‘I do like choking,’ I breathe out, giving the only form of consent to him that my pride will allow, his face blank for a moment. ‘What?’ ‘I said… I do like choking,’ I whisper, his eyes lighting up slightly. I hold a finger up against his lips to stop him explicitly asking, hoping he’ll understand from my gaze. ‘Sure?’ he asks, plump lips moving against my finger, my heart warming at him double checking, and I nod. ‘I’m sure,’ I whisper back, and that’s all he needs to hear.

His hand tightens at my neck as he leans down, lips landing on mine. He kisses me, harshly, forcefully, his tongue sliding into my mouth within moments, turning my mind to slush and emptying my head of any thoughts other than how good he is at kissing. His free hand grips my waist, bruisingly tight, as my hands run through his hair, the soft and fluffy black locks tangling between my fingers, and he tastes like the citrusy vodka he was drinking, with the sweet undertone of my coke (the soft drink – not the drug). ‘On your knees,’ he growls, and I laugh against his lips. ‘No.’ ‘No?’ he asks, sounding amused. ‘No.’ He breaks away from me, looking down at me, heavy breaths escaping through his swollen lips. ‘Wanna say that again, babe?’ he asks, his gaze intimidating, but I don’t let myself break. ‘I said ‘no’. I’m not getting on my knees,’ I say forcefully, matching his serious stare with one of my own, and he lets out a little chuckle. Hand still around my neck, he grabs my arm with his free hand and pushes me towards the middle of the room before letting go of me and sitting at the edge of the bed he was lying on a few minutes ago, another bed on the other side of the room empty. ‘Strip,’ he commands, and I cross my arms over my chest, raising an eyebrow. ‘I swear to God, y/n, do not fucking test me. Take off your fucking clothes,’ he spits out, the rage from earlier reappearing, and I decide to follow his instructions, but have a little fun while I do so.

I grin at him before I slide my hands across my torso, slipping my fingers beneath my top and pulling it up over my head, slowly as I possibly can, leaving me in just my black lace bralet (my top was too thin to wear a padded bra). Once it’s off, I throw it to him, and he deflects it with a quick hand, just about stopping it from hitting his face. He sends me a hard glare (though I can see that he’s trying to hold back a laugh behind it) but it disappears the second I flick open the button of my jeans, pulling down the zip too, his gaze darkening. He’s so intimidating that I can’t help but feel self-conscious at undressing in front of him, but then I spot the growing bulge in his jeans, and it makes me feel a little better. I turn away from him, kicking off my heels, pushing my jeans down my legs and bending over to give him a view of my ass, covered by my black lace pants, and I know there’s probably a slightly darker patch between my legs. I straighten up again, stepping out of the denim pooled at my feet, and turn back to face him. He runs a hand through his hair, a smirk on his lips as he beckons me over with the curl of a finger. I step towards him and he reaches out, grabbing me by one wrist and pulling me onto his lap. He tilts his head back to kiss me again, my fingers tangling into his hair and nails scraping against his scalp as he digs his hands into my back, our bodies pressed together almost painfully. He pulls my bottom lip between his teeth before laving his tongue over the sore skin, making me let out a whimper against his mouth.

‘Feels good?’ he asks cockily, and I want nothing more than to take him down a peg, so I ignore him, just continuing to kiss him. ‘I asked you if it felt good,’ he says against my lips, hand reaching behind me to gather up my hair and pull my head back, exposing my neck to him. ‘And I ignored you,’ I reply, voice shaky, as he kisses up and down my neck, pulling the skin beneath my jaw between his teeth, marking me. ‘Petty… stubborn… uptight… bratty… little bitch,’ he says between marking my neck and skin around my collarbones, shaky breaths and little whines falling from between my lips every few seconds at the feeling of his tongue laving over the bruises caused by his perfect teeth and plump lips. ‘I’ll break you, y/n. You’ll be begging for my cock by the time I’m done with you,’ he says, lips curled into a smirk against my skin, and I let out a laugh. I lean down, my lips against his ear, and whisper, ‘less likely than you scoring a goal in the first match of the season. Which we all know is very unlikely.’ He scoffs, lifting me up and putting me down over his lap, my ass sticking up the air.

‘Safe word?’ he growls, sounding almost reluctant, and I feel a thrill at the thought that he’s planning on doing enough to me that I might need a safe word. I think for a moment, and his grip on my thigh tightens before he spits out, ‘hurry up.’ ‘How about… small dick?’ I ask, biting my lip to hold back laughter (I really do find myself funny), but my amusement quickly disappears when his hand delivers a solid slap to my raised ass, making me let out a small squeal of pain, and I look back at him with a glare. ‘Small dick it is,’ he says cheerfully with a grin at me before reaching out to turn my head away from him. ‘You’re being punished, bitch, you don’t get to look at me,’ he spits out before his hand lands down heavily on my ass again, in the exact same spot as the previous slap, making me yelp in pain. I begin squirming in his lap – this spanking is not it, but he holds me firmly in place, landing another slap on the same cheek, and another, and another, and-

‘Park, cut it out!’ I shriek, my ass stinging with pain, and I just know he’s grinning. ‘Safe word?’ he asks, and I bite my tongue, knowing I can’t give in this easy. ‘That’s what I thought,’ he says cheerfully, before wrenching my pants down just past my ass, his hand, spread wide, to land across both cheeks with every slap. I squirm on his lap, still trying to escape, but he’s strong, holding me still and spanking again and again. And then the pain begins to ebb away into pleasure, my yelps of pain becoming desperate whimpers, my pussy practically drenched. With one slap, his skin is inches from the place I need him most, and I can’t stop the moan that escapes my lips. ‘Enjoying being spanked like a dirty little bitch?’ he asks, stopping the tirade of slaps on my ass, but I stay silent, too proud to admit to it. The spanks continue with my silence, my ass burning with the pleasurable pain, and when he’s finally deemed it enough, he rubs a hand over my cheeks, the metal of his rings providing relief for my stinging skin.

‘You okay, y/n?’ he asks, momentarily breaking from his hard demeanour, my heart warming despite myself. ‘Yeah, I’m fine,’ I reply, sounding breathless to my own ears, and he chuckles. ‘You took your punishment well, for a little brat. What do you want now, babe?’ he asks, and I’m silent, too proud to tell him. ‘Well, you’re obviously deciding to be a stubborn little bitch, so we can sit here like this all night,’ he says, and I look up to see him with his arms crossed over his chest, looking relaxed and smug. I let out an annoyed huff, looking back at the ground, and I wait a few moments to say, ‘touch me.’ ‘What was that, angel?’ he asks, hand beginning to rub over my sore ass again, reliving some of the pain, and I sigh. ‘Touch me.’ ‘I am, baby,’ he replies easily, hand continuing to skim over my stinging skin, and I let out a frustrated whine. ‘You know what I mean, Park!’ I exclaim angrily, and he chuckles. ‘I’m not sure I do, babe. Spell it out for me,’ he prompts, endlessly amused, and I clench my jaw in anger. ‘Can you touch my pussy?’ I snap, and he chuckles, making my blood boil. ‘Can I touch your pussy…?’ he asks, and I let out another angry noise, not wanting to be polite to him at all. But he’s completely silent, waiting for me to speak, and I give in, spitting out the word, ‘please.’ ‘Good girl,’ he compliments, voice soothing, but his hand doesn’t move from my ass. And then he says, ‘but it took too long.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me? If you’re not going to fuck me, Park, I’m leav- oh! Oh, God,’ I moan out, my angry tirade cut off when he pushes two thick fingers deep between my folds, stretching me out almost painfully. My walls clench around him as I whimper, my slick coating his hand. ‘So fucking wet for me, oh, my God. Does being a bitch to me turn you on, angel?’ he asks, but it seems he doesn’t require an answer, pushing one of my legs off his lap to give him better access to my pussy, my foot on the floor to stop me from sliding off him. He begins to thrust his fingers in and out of me, fast, and my head falls down as I let out a loud moan because, God, he’s good, better than I could’ve imagined. ‘So tight,’ he groans, as I throb around his thick fingers, my hips rolling back unconsciously to meet the thrusts of his hand. I can feel my high nearing quickly, the spanking and teasing making me desperate, and his fingers are so fucking good. And then his thumb begins to rub at my clit harshly, forcing a startled moan out of me, and I’m so close, twitching around him as my entire body tenses.

And then he pulls his fingers out. I let out a frustrated whine, eyes prickling with tears as he chuckles, leaning down and holding his slick covered fingers in front of my face. I refuse to take his fingers into my mouth, lips sealed shut, and he sighs, before his other hand lands a harsh slap onto my swollen pussy. I let out a shriek of pain, but he doesn’t relent, landing more heavy slaps onto my sensitive folds, pulling pained moans from my mouth. ‘Stop making this so hard for yourself,’ he says through gritted teeth, and I reluctantly open my mouth, his fingers instantly slipping between my lips, the slaps ceasing as I lick his fingers clean of my arousal. ‘Look at you, being a good little slut for me,’ he says with satisfaction, making my blood boil, and I can’t help but bite down on his fingers, not hard enough for it to hurt, but hard enough for it to shock him. He jumps, making me grin in satisfaction, before ramming his two fingers back between my folds. I let out a loud moan as he pumps in and out of my pussy, the pleasure rolling over me in waves. The rough pads of his fingers brush against my walls, thumb nudging at my clit as I let out moan after moan, feeling my orgasm build back up. I clench around him even tighter, twitching against his fingers, and it’s like he’s already managed to identify when I’m close, pulling his fingers away at the last second.

‘No, please,’ I whine pathetically, bucking my hips up in frustration, and he chuckles. ‘It’s a bit late for ‘please’ now, babe. You can beg better than that,’ he prompts, and I want to cry, so desperate for a release that I give in, swallowing my pride to force out some desperate words that might persuade him. ‘Please, Park, please make me cum. I need it, I need it so fucking bad, need your fingers or your mouth or your cock, anything. I just need to cum,’ I beg, and he’s silent for a moment. ‘God, that’s fucking hot, y/n. But…’ he says, making me tense at the thought he’s not going to give me what I want. ‘Your begging means nothing – you’re just saying what you think I want to hear. You need to earn it, angel,’ he says, making me whine in frustration and thrash on his lap. I’ve had enough now – my vibrator can probably do a better job than him, and Jennie will be fast asleep now (she could sleep through an earthquake). ‘Call me by my name,’ he says, breaking through my anger, and I freeze. ‘What?’ ‘I said to call me by my name. You’ve only ever called me Park. If you swallow your pride and call me ‘Jimin’… I’ll make you cum as many times as you want,’ he says, and it sounds simple enough, tempting enough.

But I’m not giving him what he wants.

‘No.’ ‘No?’ ‘No.’ ‘Okay,’ he says simply, his fingers sliding back in easily, making me shudder. His fingers pump in and out of me, furiously fast, as his thumb rubs against my clit, my mind numbing with pleasure as I let out moan after moan, unable to stop myself, and I know I must be so loud right now, loud enough for my friends on the floor below to hear, but I don’t care. He curls his thick fingers, brushing against the soft spongy spot inside me, and I let out a loud whine. ‘Listen to you being nice and loud for me, like a good little bitch. You’re so close, aren’t you? Can feel your tight pussy clenching around my fingers. You’re gonna cum soon, right?’ he murmurs, fingers fucking into me relentlessly. ‘Call me Jimin. Swallow your pride, call me my name, and I’ll let you cum all over my fingers, as many times as you want, baby. Just call me Jimin,’ he says, voice so soothing that I’m almost persuaded, but no. I’m too proud, too stubborn. I bite down on my lip to stop myself, and he sighs. ‘Such a stubborn little bitch,’ he says, almost disappointedly, pulling his fingers out from me, and I let out a shriek of frustration.

‘Fuck, please, Park! Please let me cum, please! I’m so fucking desperate, need to cum so bad!’ I cry out, words slurred as my eyes fill with tears, vision blurring. He’s silent, just listening to my desperate begging, before plunging his fingers back into me, making me moan. And then he stops, fingers stilling inside me. ‘Park, please, feels so fucking good, please!’ I beg, his fingers continuing to thrust into me when I begin to speak, but stilling when I stop. ‘Please, Park, I need it, need it so fucking bad,’ I whine, and it’s an endless cycle, his fingers only moving when I speak, and stilling when I fall silent. I fall into a repeated cry of ‘please’ again and again until my throat is hoarse, his fingers bringing me close to the edge before he pulls out, yet again. ‘Oh, my God, Park, please make me cum! Please, I need it so bad, need to cum so bad,’ I beg pathetically, and he chuckles. ‘Not until you break,’ he says, pushing his fingers into my swollen pussy again. And he’s ruthless, relentless, fingers fucking into me so fast, so hard that it hurts, hurts so good, and I’m moaning out, loud and desperate. ‘Say it, baby, swallow your pride and say my name like a good girl. I can make you feel so good, angel, so good. Fuck you all night, eat this pretty little pussy until you’re begging me to stop. Just say my name, swallow your pride. Come on, babe, say my name,’ he murmurs, soothing voice mixed with how good his fingers feel fucking into me and his thumb rubbing at my clit that the prospect of not finishing, makes my eyes fill with tears. And I’m so close to breaking, so close. But his fingers disappear.

He lifts me up, moving my weak body to straddle one of his strong thick thighs, the material of his jeans against my pussy making me whimper. My hands grip onto his shoulders to support myself, and when my eyes meet his, I nearly cum from that alone. His eyes are so dark, impossibly dark, blown wide with lust, his hair a mess from him running his fingers through it, his lips swollen and shining in the low lamplight, skin flushed and hot. He looks so fucking hot. ‘Ride my thigh,’ he whispers, and it takes every last bit of my willpower to shake my head, no. ‘Such a fucking brat,’ he spits before he begins bouncing his thigh. I let out a strangled moan when my pussy rubs against the sturdy denim of his jeans, head lolling back, and he quickly grabs my waist to stop me from falling off his leg. He doesn’t stop, and I’m bouncing on his thigh, moans falling from my lips with every jolt, his eyes latching on to my breasts which bounce right in front of his face. ‘Fuck. So fucking hot,’ he says, hand wrenching down the centre of my bralet so my breasts fall out, straps digging into my shoulders. His plump lips attach to one of my nipples, waves of bliss washing over me at the mixed sensations, heightened when he reaches a hand down to rub my clit slowly. ‘Look how good I’m being to you,’ he says against my nipple, his saliva sliding down my breast as he speaks, ‘making you feel so good, angel. And you can’t even say my name. It isn’t that hard.’

I ignore him, focusing on keeping my orgasm at bay – I’d rather feel the pleasure of now for hours than have one more orgasm denied. ‘Say it,’ he says, moving to the other nipple, flicking his tongue over the bud before sucking it. ‘Fuck, please, Park.’ ‘Say it, angel.’ ‘Oh, God, feels so- oh! Fuck.’ ‘Come on, y/n. Just say my name, baby, and I’ll make you feel so good. You’re so close, I know you are. You’re gushing all over my thigh, can feel it through my jeans. Just say it, babe, and I’ll let you soak my thigh with your cum. Say it, angel. Swallow your pride for me, baby, and I’ll make you feel so good, fuck you all night long if that’s what you want.’ And I feel my high nearing, feel the knot in my stomach tightening, and I’m so close, so fucking close that I just can’t, I can’t lose it.

And I break.

‘Fuck, Jimin, please, make me cum, I need it,’ I cry out, a shit-eating grin spreading across his lips as I moan his name again and again, unable to stop because of how fucking good he feels. ‘Cum for me, angel,’ he whispers, and the second I hear him give me permission, I’m falling over the edge, crying out his name as I cum all over his thigh, shuddering as he continues bouncing his leg, thumb rubbing at my clit to prolong my high. ‘Such a good girl, so fucking good for me, angel,’ he whispers soothing words as I come down, his hands on my back gentle and comforting. The exhaustion that comes after my orgasm is heavy, making me fall into him, and he chuckles, holding me as I try to get my breath back, hands on his shoulders.

‘Are you too tired? You wanna stop?’ he asks, and I push myself off him with effort, trying my hardest to stay upright when I land on my feet. I pull my pants back up, and my bralet too before dropping to my knees (I hate being naked while I’m sucking someone off – it’s weird, but I hate being… on display). His eyes darken the second I hit the floor, and he can’t stand up quick enough, unbuckling his belt in record time. I pull his black jeans down to his ankles and he steps out of them, and he pulls his white t-shirt up over his head, throwing it over his shoulder as he steps out of his jeans, kicking them away. And then I pull down his boxers, leaving them bunched up at the top of his thighs, and my heart skips a beat, my eyes widening and my mouth watering at how beautiful he is. His legs are long and toned and his skin is tan and clear, pulled over hard muscles and a full six pack, his abs rippling as his long, thick length stands up against them, rock hard and leaking with precum. I spit on his dick, his breath catching in his throat at the contact, before I use my palm to spread my saliva over his length, his hips bucking. He’s so sensitive, reacting to my every touch, and I almost feel sorry for him, thinking how long he must have been hard. And he’s so big, so thick, with a beautiful fucking curve, that I actually wonder how the hell I’m supposed to get more than just the head of his cock in.

Without wasting time, I lick the tip, revelling in the shaky breath that falls from his lips, his salty precum spread across my tongue. I decide to give him a taste of his own medicine, kitten licking his tip, occasionally swirling my tongue around the head, exhales and gentle groans escaping from his lips. He soon gets impatient, gathering my hair up in one hand and trying to push my head further down onto him, but I resist his force. ‘Stop fucking teasing, y/n,’ he spits out, making me grin to myself, and I don’t waste another second before sinking down onto his length until he hits the back of my throat, the boy letting out a strangled moan as I begin to bob my head up and down. I can’t get my lips to the base of his cock, and my jaw quickly begins to ache, because he’s just too damn big, gags being forced from my throat every few seconds. I take him out of my mouth, placing my tongue at the base, licking up to his tip against the vein on the underside of his cock to relieve myself of having him in my mouth, but he’s quickly bucking his hips, desperate to have my lips around him again. I look up at him through my lashes as I swirl my tongue around the tip before slowly taking him in as far as possible, gagging around him, and when he hits the back of my throat, his head falls back, a desperate moan of my name falling from his lips, the sound rushing straight to my core.

I slowly build up my pace, steadily bobbing my head up and down, taking him in further each time. ‘Fuck, y/n, you’re so fucking good at this, oh, my God. So fucking good, angel, such a good little cockslut for me,’ he groans, hips bucking and making my eyes water, not to mention how hard he’s tugging on my hair, but his moans spur me on through the pain. And I just as I’m beginning to adjust, nearly getting him into my throat, he loses his patience. He starts thrusting into my mouth, controlling my head movements with the hand he has fisted in my hair, and all I can do is grab onto his thighs as he fucks my mouth. ‘Fuck, you’re so good. My perfect little whore, letting me fuck your mouth, and taking it so well. Love hearing you gagging,’ he says, thrusting particularly hard and prompting a gag from me, the noise making him moan. ‘So sexy,’ he whispers, and I moan around him, the vibrations making him thrust faster. Tears stream down my face, saliva bubbling around my mouth and dripping down my chin and neck.

And then there’s a knock at the door, followed by, ‘Jimin, you in there?’ Jimin stills completely and opens his mouth to reply, but I get an idea, deciding to get my revenge for all the edging. I bob up and down on his length, furiously fast, hands playing with his balls, and a strangled groan falls from his lips, panic in his eyes when he looks down at me. ‘y/n,’ he says, almost pleadingly, and I look up at him innocently, as the door opens. I take his dick out of my mouth, looking around Jimin to see Hoseok stood in the doorway, eyes widening at the sight with Namjoon stood behind him, quickly clapping his hand over his eyes when he sees us. ‘I…’ Hoseok says, Jimin sighing before looking at him over his shoulder. ‘Yes?’ ‘Sorry. But I did ask if you were in here,’ Hoseok says, eyes flitting to me, and I can see him holding back a laugh when I grin at him mischievously. ‘Please, Hobi, just get what you need, and go,’ Jimin says tiredly, Hoseok nodding as he darts in, grabbing a charger from what must be the other bed which must be his, before darting back out, dropping a wink at me before he shuts the door.

And Jimin looks down at me, his gaze making my stomach turn. ‘Get up. Now,’ he spits out, and I rise up from the floor as slowly as possible as he pushes his boxers off, leaving him stood in all his glory. He’s so fucking beautiful, an absolutely Adonis – his body is perfect, like it’s been carved by the Gods. He rips my pants off as he reaches around me, unclasping my bralet with unmatched expertise, pulling it off my arms, and throwing both items over his shoulder. He grabs me by the neck, forceful but not violent, and walks me backwards to his bed, pushing me down and climbing over me. ‘You think you’re funny, huh?’ he demands, no regard for how tight he’s gripping my throat, and I grin, enjoying how pissed off he is. ‘We were doing well, and you just had to fucking ruin it,’ he spits out, entire weight on me, and I struggle for air, the lack of oxygen making my head spin pleasurably. ‘You like being caught in the act, huh? Like being a dirty little bitch and being on your knees for me in front of my friends? Or d’you just like pissing me off?’ he demands, eyes dark with anger, veins in his neck corded tight. ‘Like… pissing… you off. Thought… we could… try… hate… sex…’ I breathe out between deep inhales, desperately trying to take in enough air, and he smirks. ‘Thought you’d piss me off, so I’d hate you?’ he asks, and I grin as best as I can, eyes watering. He reaches down and grips his cock in one hand, running his length along my folds teasingly, sending little waves of pleasure through me. ‘Don’t make me beg,’ I whisper, my hoarse voice making him loosen his grip slightly, a smirk stretching his lips out. ‘That’d be mean, right? After how good you’ve been for me?’ he says sarcastically, eyebrow raised, and I fix him with a glare, his hand tightening again, rings digging into my skin. ‘Beg, bitch,’ he spits harshly, and I’m silent, our eyes locked together. ‘I could cum just like this,’ he says, still running his cock across my folds, and I sigh, the thought of him not fucking me making me snake my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down to press my lips to his ear and whisper, ‘Fuck me, Jimin, so hard I can’t fucking walk, for as long as you fucking want. Fill me up with your big fat cock until I can’t breathe. Don’t care about me – I’m just a slut for you to use for your own pleasure, a whore for you to fill with your cum until your balls are empty.’ My words make him gulp, eyes blown wide with desire, and I press my lips to his, speaking against his mouth:

‘Fuck me like you hate me.’

He plunges all the way into me, both of us moaning, ‘fuck’, drawing the word out until he bottoms out, and it’s so fucking good. He’s so thick, the stretch burning deliciously, the curve of his cock having him fill me up perfectly, brushing up against my spongy spot without even meaning to. He doesn’t give me even a second to adjust, pulling all the way out before slamming back in, both of us letting out moans at the feeling. He sets a bruisingly fast pace, the bed hitting the wall with each strong thrust of his. ‘So fucking tight. Gonna stretch you out with my fat cock, gonna ruin you for everyone else,’ he growls, forcing the words out with effort, his energy being taken up by thrusting into me, and it’s euphoria, absolutely euphoria. ‘I’d… like to see you… try,’ I breathe out between moans, and he chuckles, hammering into me, heavy balls slapping against my skin. ‘I already broke you, angel – don’t make me embarrass you by doing it again,’ he growls, hand still tight around my neck, my hands on his back, nails digging into his skin, hard. He grabs one of my legs, lifting it to rest on his shoulder, and he goes even deeper than before, my eyes rolling back into my head at the feeling of his cock dragging against my walls.

Obscene squelching and the sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room with my moans and whimpers, his groans and grunts, the smell of sex thick on the air as he abuses my pussy, pounding into me like there’s no tomorrow, and all I can think is, ‘why the fuck haven’t we done this already?’ ‘Fucking gushing around me, soaking my bed like a good little slut. Gonna smell like you for days – my other bitches will know I’ve had a cock-hungry whore in here,’ he moans against my ear, rage filling me at the mention of other girls, and I can’t help myself. I slap him around the face, and he just grins at me, cheek reddening, not ceasing his thrusting. ‘Jealous? Don’t worry, baby, you’re the best I’ve ever had. I’ll ruin you, but you’ve ruined me. Only want your pussy from now. Want you to be my good little bitch, my sex toy,’ he grunts, cock hammering into me relentlessly, my walls clenching around him. ‘Only if you eat my pussy with those pretty lips,’ I whisper with a grin, and he chuckles, smirking. ‘Can’t wait to taste your pussy, angel. But let me fill it with my cum first,’ he breathes out against my neck, making me moan, before he practically pushes me down into the mattress, cock pounding into me bruisingly hard.

‘So fucking tight around me, baby, like you’ve never been fucked. Your cunt was made for me, huh? Scream my name out, babe. Let everyone in the damn house hear how good my cock makes you feel,’ he prompts, and I can’t help but do as he says, head thrown back into the pillow as he repeatedly hits my g-spot, crying his name repeatedly like a mantra. And I can feel my orgasm approaching, my walls clenched around him, my nails raking down his back, moans falling from my mouth again and again. ‘You gonna cum for me, baby? Come on, want you to soak my cock like a good little slut. Cum for me, angel,’ he whispers against my ear, hand snaking down to rub at my clit, other hand still tight around my neck, pushing me down into the mattress, and I feel the knot in my stomach tightening, head full of bliss. And then he hits the spot inside me head-on, and I reach my high.

I scream out his name, so loud it feels like it’s being ripped out of throat, my own voice ringing in my ears as I cum around him, gushing out release, walls clamped around him so tight he can’t move, and so he rubs at my clit to prolong my orgasm. Never have I felt an orgasm this intense, never felt pleasure like this, and my vision becomes blurry as the tears run down my face, mouth hanging open, eyes rolling back into my head and nails raking down his back, breaking the skin. And when I begin coming down, my walls loosening around him, he starts chasing his own high, with no concern for me at all. He slams into me, again and again, the bed probably leaving dents in the wall every time it bumps against it, and the overstimulation is too much, making me sob. But he doesn’t care, one hand pressing into the mattress, the other one still around my neck as he fucks into me, grunts and groans falling from his lips, and when my vision clears, I nearly cum again at the sight of him.

His black hair is pasted to his head with sweat, his skin completely drenched and glistening with perspiration, mouth wide open and letting out whispers of my name, lips swollen and shining. His eyes are dark, impossibly dark, completely blown wide with lust, and his face is flushed and contorted with pleasure. His muscles ripple with the effort of fucking me, desperate whines escaping his lips as he chases his high, body tense and strong. He looks like sin incarnate.

And I can feel him nearing his orgasm, dick twitching inside me, and I tighten around him, digging my heel into his back to hold him place, his hips stuttering with erratic thrusts. ‘Fuck, baby, I’m gonna cum. Gonna cum in this tight little pussy. So good for me, so good,’ he moans loudly, making my lips curl in satisfaction before he lets out a cry of, ‘fuck, y/n, gonna cum!’ He buries himself deep inside me, head falling to rest in the crook of my neck, biting down on my skin as he cums, thick and hot ropes of his release painting my insides. And there’s so much of it, an endless amount of cum flooding me, and my sensitive walls fluttering around him prolongs his high, milking his cock for all he has.

Once he’s done, he pulls his softened cock out of me, moving down the bed with a grin, wanting to see his masterpiece. ‘You squirted, you know?’ he says nonchalantly, eyes momentarily flitting up from my pussy to meet mine, and I can’t mask the surprise quick enough, a satisfied smirk stretching across his lips. ‘Thought so. I’m the best you’ve ever had, right, babe?’ he asks, eyes trained on my folds, waiting for his cum to leak out of me, and I don’t reply. ‘God, after such a good fucking, you’re still a stubborn little bitch? Well, whatever. If it makes you feel better, that was the best I’ve ever had too,’ he says, and I’m silent, attempting to ignore the thrill that runs through me – he’s fucked that many girls, but I’m the best. ‘Your moans are so pretty, angel. My name sounds good on your lips,’ he grins, and I roll my eyes, dropping my head back to rest on the pillow – I’m absolutely exhausted, physically and mentally (and of him). ‘Do you always talk this much after sex?’ I ask, and he chuckles. ‘Nope. I usually give them a kiss on their cheek and send them on their way. You should be honoured you’re getting pillow talk,’ he says cockily, and I scoff. ‘Fuck you.’ ‘I just did,’ he says, voice dripping with mirth, and I roll my eyes.

And then I feel it. His cum beginning to drip out of me. ‘God, I really did cum deep, huh? Look how long it took,’ he says, words lined with fascination as he watches my pussy intently. ‘Remember when you said I’ve got a tiny dick?’ he laughs, and I let out an annoyed noise. ‘Shut up,’ I say half-heartedly, before he collects up some of his cum on his fingers, making me let out a shaky breath as I look down at him. He holds his fingers out to me, and I don’t bother waiting this time, licking them clean, and his cum is actually... not bad. Sweet and almost… fruity. But I’m knocked out of my thoughts about his semen when he licks a bold stripe up my pussy, a broken moan falling from my lips. ‘I… didn’t think my cum would taste this good. Or maybe it’s just your pussy,’ he says casually, as though discussing the taste of cocktails. ‘I think it’s your cum.’ ‘Let me test it,’ he says before delving back down for another taste of my juices, making me moan before I thread my fingers into his hair, pulling him away. ‘I’m too sensitive,’ I say gently, and he nods, moving to lie beside me. ‘It’s you, by the way. Your pussy tastes amazing. You gotta let me eat you out in the morning,’ he says, and I turn to look at him, raising an eyebrow and trying to ignore how handsome he is. ‘In the morning?’ ‘Well, if you wanna stay the night, that is,’ he offers indifferently, but I can see that he’s a little nervous underneath the casual demeanour, and so am I, panicking at the prospect of this… not being just sex.

‘Where’s my phone?’ I ask, and he laughs at the swift topic change, before reaching his hand under the pillow my head is on, pulling out my phone, and handing it to me as I thank him – though I shouldn’t have to say thanks for getting my phone back. But whatever. I start to get up, slowly sitting up and swinging my legs over the side of the bed. ‘Are you leaving?’ he asks, almost panicked, and I laugh. ‘I gotta clean myself up, and go to the toilet – I don’t want a UTI. Where’s the bathroom?’ I ask, and he pulls a face. ‘It’s the last door in the corridor,’ he says, sitting up to watch me as I collect up my clothes, legs shaky. ‘You’re not gonna put those tight ass clothes back on, are you?’ he asks, and I raise an eyebrow. ‘It’s not like I brought a spare change,’ I say, and he laughs, getting out of bed. He goes to his wardrobe, getting out a loose black long-sleeved top of his, and then to his chest of drawers, delving deep into one of the drawers and pulling out a pair of black Nike socks and a pair of black cotton pants, holding them out to me. And I look at him, looking back at the clothes, before looking back up at him, and then back at the clothes. ‘I hope to God you’re not expecting me to wear those random pants,’ I say with disgust, and he laughs. ‘They’re brand new, I promise. Rosie bought a pack to keep here for when… hers weren’t suitable to wear anymore, and these are from that pack – they’ve never been worn. I swear. And the top and socks are mine – freshly washed,’ he says, and I nod, still suspicious, sniffing the pants when he hands them to me. They smell clean, and I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt – I’d rather not be underwear-less in a frat house. So I pull the pants on, and then his top, trying to ignore how it smells exactly like him, the nice scent filling my senses, and it’s long enough that it covers my ass completely, hem brushing against my thighs. I pull on the socks, soft material nice against my tired feet (I don’t know why I wear heels – it’s literal torture).

‘Make sure you knock – there might be someone in there,’ he says meaningfully, and I scrunch my nose up in disgust. ‘Who fucks in the bathroom of a frat house?’ I ask, and he’s silent, looking a little sheepish. ‘That’s gross. Please, don’t. I don’t want to know,’ I say when he opens his mouth to explain, and he nods, holding back a laugh. I open the door, looking down the corridor to see if it’s empty before rushing towards the bathroom. Thankfully it’s empty, so I wee and clean myself up, trying to ignore how much of a state I look. Once I’m done, I look a little more presentable, but it’s clear I’ve just been fucked, my eyes a little heavy and lips swollen, and my skin glowing. My makeup (which was a full face) is minimal now, my mascara slightly smudged around my eyes and my foundation patchy around my mouth and chin, so I blend it out as best as I can, and it doesn’t actually look that bad. The most noticeable thing is the purpling marks from his mouth, his hand and his rings around my neck and under my jaw, the ones on my collarbones hidden by his top. I run my fingers through my hair, and have it hanging around my face, not really covering the marks, but it’s the best I can do. I head back into Jimin’s bedroom, and I stifle a laugh at seeing that he’s fast asleep. And he looks really fucking cute, lips pouted, hair messy and face relaxed with slumber. How can he go from being the most annoying person in the world, to being sin personified, to being adorable? It’s obvious he was expecting me to stay the night with him – he’s on one side of the bed, the other side with two pillows, my phone sat atop them with the blanket pulled down for me to climb in.

But I can’t. I can’t stay the night and pretend like everything’s okay. Yes, he just gave me the best fucking of my life, but I’m not sure if it makes up for all the times he’s been a dick to me over the past couple years. And now, he’s expecting me to climb into bed with him, to act like we’re more than just two people who hate each other, and acted on our sexual tension and attraction to one another. Because that is all we are. But then he said things like me being the best he’s had, and that he wants to eat me out in the morning, and he’s expecting me to stay the night when he never lets anyone stay the night – everyone knows that about him. So maybe he doesn’t hate me, which is terrifying, because I cannot deal with Park Jimin not hating me.

So I have to make him hate me.

Quietly, I grab my phone, and he moves in his sleep, stirring, making me panic and run out of the room, leaving behind my clothes and shoes. I venture to the end of the corridor, ordering my Uber before looking down the flight of stairs, spotting the group of my friends still sat on the landing, Chaeyoung sat closest. ‘Chaeng, I whisper, but she doesn’t hear me. ‘Chaeng!’ I hiss a little louder, and she looks around before spotting me, opening her mouth to speak before I hold a finger to my lips. She gets up, pretending she’s going to the bathroom before rushing up the stairs. ‘Are you okay?’ ‘Yeah, but I need to, like, escape. I’ve ordered an Uber, but I left my shoes in his room,’ I say, and she instantly slides off her sparkly silver sliders. ‘Don’t you need them?’ ‘Yoongi said I could stay the night,’ she says shyly, making me squeal with excitement for her, a little smile on her face. ‘You know there’s no way you’re gonna be able to leave without everyone seeing you?’ she says, and I sigh, slipping her shoes on. ‘I know, but I can’t stay. I can’t share a bed with him,’ I say, and she raises an eyebrow. ‘Girl, we heard everything. Everything. But staying the night is where you draw the line?’ she asks, and I nod, absolutely humiliated that they could hear. ‘Yes. I still hate him,’ I say as though it’s obvious, and she just nods, holding back a laugh. ‘Come on, then,’ she says, leading me down the stairs, and I’m so embarrassed when my friends spot me, jeering and laughing. ‘Walk of shame!’ Bambam shouts, before the boys all begin chanting it, and I cover my face in embarrassment. ‘Bye, girls!’ I call over the racket, the girls all bidding me goodbye before Chaeyoung leads me down the next flight of steps.

She turns the handle of the front door, pushing it open for me, and I quickly rush out before I can run into anyone else. ‘Thanks, Chaeng, you’re the best. I’ll drop these off tomorrow,’ I say, motioning to the shoes, and she waves my words off. ‘Just bring them to try-outs next weekend. Text me when you get home,’ she says, and I nod, my phone buzzing to let me know my Uber’s a minute away. ‘See you, Chaeng,’ I call over my shoulder, heading up to the pavement. My Uber pulls up, and I turn to wave at Chaeyoung, instead seeing her being pushed out of the way by Jin and Jungkook who are cheering and shouting at me, running over. I quickly jump into the Uber before they can reach me, telling the driver to go quickly, and he does so, leaving Dumb and Dumber in our dust. I’m silent the entire journey back, trying my hardest to stay awake, and I can feel him looking at me in the rear-view mirror, probably wondering why I’m dressed the way I am, getting into an Uber at 4am. Or maybe he knows exactly why.

When we pull up to my accommodation, the sky is already beginning to lighten with morning just around the corner, and I thank him, climbing out of the Uber and heading into the building, entire body aching. I take the lift, having to lean one hand against the wall as I walk down the corridor towards our door. And then I realise I left my bag, with my keys in them, in Jimin’s bedroom. I’d hoped to sneak in whilst Jennie was asleep, but I’ll definitely have to wake her up now. I knock on the door, not too loud because I don’t want to wake anyone in the neighbouring rooms up, but it works, Jennie instantly opening the door. And she doesn’t look like she’s been sleeping, wide awake and fixing me with a hard glare. She knows.

‘How the hell do you know?’ I ask tiredly as she moves to the side to let me in, looking me up and down. ‘Namjoon phoned me after your conversation with him, to clear the air. And halfway through our reconciliation, I can hear shouting in the background, and he kindly informs me that you and Jimin were having a screaming match on ASP’s front lawn. And then he texts me around an hour and a half later to say he’d just seen you on your knees in Jimin’s bedroom with his dick in your mouth,’ she says, voice harsh but eyes sparkling with amusement. ‘I know, I know, I’m an idiot. But I’m really fucking tired and achy so can I sleep first? I promise, I’ll let you lecture me all you want in the morning,’ I say as I collapse into my bed, and she just stares at me for a moment before nodding, a small grin on her face. ‘It’s about time you got laid.’ ‘Oh, thanks.’ ‘I want all the details in the morning.’ ‘I’m not sure you do.’ ‘Ew.’

477 notes · View notes

rafecameron · 4 years ago

Text

Between You and I (1)

Summary: Reader and Topper dated in secret, she knew it was a bad idea but couldn’t stay away from the boy. Things ended on a sour note but sometimes they still can’t keep their hands to themselves.

Pairing: Topper Thornton x reader

Warnings: swearing, alcohol, smut, heartbreak, italics = flashback

Word count: 4.5K

A/N: Not me taking a week to write this bc i suck! Thank you @scandalousfemale for editing it for me!

*GIF is mine*

Topper Thornton had left a sour taste in your mouth, one you were sure you would never get rid of no matter how hard you tried to wash it away. Hate wasn’t an emotion you usually jumped to but you hated him more than anything. If you could go back in time and erase everything that happened with the kook boy you would. You’d flush him out of your memories at the snap of a finger and forget he ever existed. Unfortunately, that wasn’t a possibility and you have to live with the insufferable boy being ever present in your mind.

It seemed to you the more you despised the boy the more you saw him. You weren’t sure if it was merely because you noticed him more or because fate was playing a cruel trick on you. He’d be in the grocery store at the same time as you, you’d see him walking on the beach with his kook friends, if you went to the cinema or out to eat there he was. He was even at all the parties you attended, whether it was on the cut or figure eight. He was an ever lingering presence in your life and it only served to fuel your dislike for him.

The more you saw his smug face and perfect hair, the more your blood boiled. Yet you had no one to vent to.

Your friends knew you hated him, they hated him too, but they could never work out why you hated him as much as you did. Why your fists would clench at the mere sight of him and your jaw would tighten. But you couldn’t tell them. The only person who knew why you hated him so much was the boy himself and you planned to keep it that way. Even the good memories between the two of you irritated you and made your skin itch.

“Topper! Stop it!” You call out breathlessly between giggles, trying your best to push his fingers away from your sides.

“Have you cheered up yet?” Topper grins back, his relentless fingers still gripping at your hips but stopping their movements for now.

You nod quickly, “the happiest girl in the world.” You giggle, smiling at him when he crawls over you.

“That’s what I like to hear.” He leans down and kisses you softly on the lips, “I want my girl to be happy forever.”

His hand moves up to your cheek and his thumb caresses your skin gently, “I’m always scared I’m going to let you down.” He whispers, his eyes searching yours desperately.

“You’ll never let me down.” You whisper back, fingers gliding through his soft hair before pulling his body against yours in a tight hug.

You cringe at the memory playing out in your mind. How could you be so naive? Of course he would let you down, he’s Topper fucking Thornton, kook fuck boy who cares more about his reputation than anything else. You were an idiot for believing he would ever change for you. You knew sneaking around with Topper would always come back to bite you, but in the moment you had no thoughts or cares about what the future held.

You’d enjoyed sneaking around with him. Found it dangerous and exciting. You’d get butterflies when you’d sneak glances at him during parties and he’d wink at you. You’d feel a rush of excitement when he’d corner you somewhere semi private and pull you into a passionate kiss. You loved the thrill of it being your little secret, your secret with Topper. But it was all over almost as quickly as it had started. Feelings and opinions getting in the way of happiness, much like they always do.

“Are you coming then?” Sarah’s voice breaks through your thoughts and you shake your head at the blonde, “oh, come on!” She begs reaching out to grab your hand, “I never ask you for anything!” That was a lie. Just yesterday she’d asked to borrow a pair of shorts and the day before that she’d helped herself to a pair of your trainers for the day. You shook your head again.

The blonde pouts at you, attempting her best puppy dogs eyes, “I’ll do anything you want. Please, just come!”

You sighed as you stare over at her, biting on your lower lip lightly. You hadn’t been to a party in weeks. You’d gotten fed up of seeing Topper and his pretentious friends all the time and every night ending up in an argument or fight. So you’d stopped attending, tuning out when your friends spoke about the party the night before.

“Anything?” You ask and the girl nods eagerly, “okay, I’ll come, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to enjoy myself.”

Sarah rolls her eyes and tugs on the hand she was holding, “c’mon let’s find an outfit!” She pulls you into your house and up to your room.

“I’m just going to wear jeans or something, Sarah.” You tell the girl as she drags you by your hand into your room.

“Definitely not!” She pushes you down onto the bed and gives you an excited smile, “we’re wearing dresses.”

She knew you hated wearing dresses and that’s probably why she was so excited about it, she loved getting you to do things you’d never normally do. She pulls open your wardrobe doors dramatically, hands still grasping either door while her eyes scanned the visible clothes.

“Is this it?” She asks, pulling out an old blue dress, “is this the only one you have?” She turns to you slowly, a disgusted look on her face.

“Yes, Sarah, you know I don’t wear dresses.” You roll your eyes and hurry over to her, snatching the dress out of her hands, “And I’m definitely not wearing this one, it probably doesn’t even fit anymore!”

Sarah pouts as you stuff the dress into the bottom of your wardrobe, out of sight forever.

“We’ll go to mine then. We can get ready there and you can borrow one of my dresses,” Sarah decides.

“Really, I’d much prefer to wear jeans or something,” you countered with a sigh.

“This isn’t a kegger, y/n, this is a figure eight party. You have to look good.” Sarah crinkles her nose up at the thought of a party full of her fellow kooks.

“You’re making sure I get really really drunk tonight, okay?” You ask her with raised brows.

Sarah grins and nods quickly, “it's a promise!”

You knew you’d need a lot to drink if you were going to be seeing Topper everywhere, there was no doubt he’d be at this party and he always found a reason to talk to you. He liked winding you up, loved seeing you get riled and shout at him. This time you swore you’d punch him if he tried anything.

Sarah rummaged through her wardrobe, pulling out dress after dress and piling them up on top of her duvet. You watched the stack get higher while chewing your lower lip not having seen a single item of clothing you would be comfortable wearing.

“This one!” Sarah gasps suddenly, she turns to you holding a slim fitting black dress against her body, “this is perfect, try it on!”

“Sarah,” you shake your head eyeing up the dress, “there’s no way I can pull that off.”

“You don’t need to pull it off, I’m sure there will be someone else to do that.” She winks, causing you to roll your eyes.

She thrusts the dress into your hands and hurries you into her bathroom eagerly. You groan but start undressing to try on the dress. The fabric was soft but tight, once you had it over your torso it felt like it was sucking you in and you couldn’t breathe properly. You shimmied it over your hips and looked at yourself in the mirror. It fit perfectly but that didn’t mean you were happy about wearing it. You slowly exit the bathroom and Sarah turns to you, her mouth dropping at the sight.

“Woah! Twirl!” She moves her finger in circles motioning what she wanted you to do. You sigh but turn around in a circle to appease her.

“You look amazing!” Sarah grins as she comes over to you and puts her hands on your bare shoulders, “all the boys are going to go wild!”

“Sarah, I don’t want a kook boy,” you laughed.

Sarah just shrugged, “I didn’t say you have to take one home. Just that they’ll be going wild.”

You let her turn you to face the full length mirror, you smooth your hands over the fabric on your hips feeling extremely exposed in the skin tight dress. The only time you’d ever worn something this nice was on the one and only date you’d gone on with Topper.

“Are you sure I look okay?” You pout, looking down at your very kook like outfit.

“You look amazing baby.” Topper rests his hands on your hips and leans down to press a kiss to the top of your head, “you clean up well for a pogue,” he winks.

You roll your eyes and slap his arm playfully, “yeah whatever.” You laugh before leaning up to press a kiss to his lips.

You’d only been with Topper for a couple of weeks but you already felt like it had been forever. You’d never felt so comfortable around someone so fast, let alone a kook. But you felt like you knew Topper, really knew him. You talked about more meaningful things rather than discussing movies and games. You spoke about your hopes and dreams, your fears and worries. You knew Topper only confided those things in you and it made you feel all the more closer to him. He’d sneak you onto his boat and drive you out to a calm secluded part of the ocean. You’d dressed up even though it was just the two of you, a dress you’d borrowed from Sarah which you’d told her was for a dinner for your mum's birthday. You sat with Topper, sipping the wine he’d brought and talking endlessly about everything that came to mind.

“Do you think there’s something else out there?” You asked, currently laying looking up at the stars after having one too many wines.

Topper layer opposite you, his head beside yours as he looks up at the dark night sky, you felt him shrug.

“I’m not sure what I think,” Topper admits, “it’s crazy to think about, but I guess we can’t be the only ones here.”

“What about after? What do you think happens after you die?” You whisper.

“I don’t know,” he whispers back, “I’d like to believe that it all doesn’t just end.”

“But you don’t?” You asked, turning your head to face him.

“I used to, now I’m not so sure.” He mumbled before leaning forward and pressing his lips to yours, “can we talk about something else? I don’t want to think about anything bad ever happening to you.” His hand reaches your face and strokes your skin gently.

You nod your head, changing the subject to something a little more light hearted. You stayed like that for hours, laying beside each other and talking about the world's problems and beauty until the sun started coming up and you had to go back to land.

“That’s the one. You’re wearing it.” Sarah decides as she lifts a green dress from the pile, “and I’m wearing this one.” She smiled at the dark fabric in her hands before hurrying off to get changed.

You spent the next couple of hours getting ready in Sarah’s bedroom, she’d snuck a bottle of Rose’s wine into her room and you both sipped on it getting more and more giddy as the night wore on.

“Rafe!” Sarah calls, stumbling over a discarded shoe as she hurries after her brother, “are you leaving?”

“Obviously.” You heard Rafe sigh, “no, you can’t have a lift.”

“C’mon! Please? We won’t even talk!” Sarah pleaded.

“Are you drunk already?” Rafe asked, Sarah shook her head unconvincingly and Rafe sighed again, “fine, but I’m leaving now.”

You and Sarah quickly pulled on your shoes and hurried down the stairs after Rafe.

The party was already in full swing by the time Rafe pulled up in the driveway, blocking multiple cars in with his large truck but he didn’t seem to care. You held tightly onto Sarah’s hand as she pulled you towards the house.

“Promise you won’t leave me?” You asked.

She turns to you with a smile, “of course I won’t!” She promises.

Once inside you make your way to the kitchen, helping yourself to the alcohol that was piled along the kitchen island.

“Let’s dance!” Sarah leads the way to the living room where a large group of people were gathered dancing around.

You laugh and dance with Sarah for a while before you decide you need another drink and leave the girl twirling in the middle of the dance floor in search for more alcohol. You browse the island table before settling on a bottle of vodka in the middle and reaching over for it. While you poured your drink you felt someone come up behind you, thinking it was just another drunk partygoer before you heard them speak.

“Didn’t think I’d see you back in figure eight again.” The voice you had been dreading to hear said.

You narrow your eyes as you turn to look at him, “Get lost, Topper.”

“Now, that’s not very nice, pogue.” The boy grins, holding onto your upper arm to prevent you from walking away, “I just want to talk.”

“I have nothing to say to you.” You sigh, leaning your side against the counter as you look up at the blonde boy.

“Things could have worked out for us.” He says as he leans closer to your face, making sure you heard him over the loud music.

“No, Top, things could never have worked out for us. You made sure of that.” You pulled your arm out of his grasp and turned your back on him, feeling the angry tears brimming in your eyes as you made your way back to the dance floor.

You bury your face in your hands as you sit on the edge of Topper's bed, willing yourself with everything you had in you not to cry in front of him. You bring your shaky fingers up through your hair, letting out a strained breath as you blinked away the tears brimming in your eyes.

“I just think it’s for the best.” Topper sighs out, scratching at the back of his neck nervously.

“Yeah, Topper, I heard you the first time.” You snap back at him.

“I don’t see why this has to change anything!” He holds up his hands in question, “things were going great.”

“Yeah, Top, things were going great. Then you basically told me you’re ashamed to be seen with me and that you never want to go public because it would ruin your image to be seen with a pogue. Now things are not going so great.” You stood up and walked over to him, shoving him harshly in the chest, “I never should have trusted you! I gave you everything, I let myself fall for you besides my better judgment because I thought you were worth it!” You push him again and he stumbles back a little bit more.

“Babe c’mon, you know I didn’t mean it like that!” Topper argues.

��Please, enlighten me on how you mean it then!” You shout, tears starting to brim at your eyes again but this time out of frustration. “Please, tell me how else I’m supposed to take that!”

“You know what my friends and family are like! It’s not as easy as just telling them!” Topper groans in annoyance.

“Well, I was willing to tell my friends! And newsflash, Topper, they’re not your biggest fans either!” You argue back.

“Why are you making a big deal about this?” Topper asks, “We knew when we started this that it had to be a secret.”

“Yeah but i didn’t expect to fall for you like I have, Top. I thought you liked me too, I thought maybe we wouldn’t have to hide forever. I thought you loved me.” You cry out, tears now slipping past your eyes making you more angry than before to be this weak in front of him.

“I do love you.” Topper replies quietly, he steps forward and tries to wipe the tears from your face but you slap his hand away.

“Bullshit, you only love yourself. I never should have gotten involved with you, I knew you’d only end up hurting me. You were right all along, you were always going to let me down.” You quickly grab your jacket and head towards his door.

“I never asked you to fall for me! And I never said we would go public!” Topper yells after you.

“Fuck you, Topper.” You call back as you walk down his stairs and out of his house for the last time. The tears now flowing freely down your face, your sadness slowly turning to anger at yourself and mostly at the kook boy.

You found Sarah again and you danced until your feet couldn’t take any more hoping to forget ever bumping into the boy. After dancing for what felt like hours your bladder felt like it would burst. You excused yourself and headed upstairs to find the bathroom, thankfully you found it pretty quickly and hurried inside. Once you had used the toilet you stood and looked at yourself in the mirror, the alcohol helping you to feel less insecure in Sarah’s revealing dress. You fix your hair, taking one last look before heading over to the door and pulling it open.

You gasp when you’re met with a guy's chest, looking up to apologise before you realise who it was.

“Hey, pogue.” Topper smirked and made his way into the bathroom, pushing you back as he walked inside and shut the door behind him.

“Topper, what are you doing?” You ask when you hear the click of the lock.

“Using the bathroom?” Topper asks with a raised brow, “that okay?”

“It would be fine if I wasn’t still in here.” You grumble and reach for the door but he brings his hand down onto the handle to stop you.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen it all before.” Topper leans closer to you, trapping your body between his and the door, you could smell the alcohol on his breath and his eyes were glossed over.

“Topper, get away from me.” You attempt to push his body away but he’s much stronger than you are and doesn’t move an inch.

“You used to love when I did this.” Topper whispers against your ear sending a shiver down your spine.

You want to resist him but all of your will power drains away when you feel his lips brush against your neck. You slide your hands up his chest, resting them on his shoulders as he begins kissing down your neck. You let out a soft moan, pushing your hips towards his as he pressed you against the hardwood. Topper moaned against your neck and suddenly your senses came rushing back to you and you pushed him away, catching him off guard causing him to stumble back.

“Stop it.” You reach for the handle again but he rushes forward and stops you a second time.

“Don’t fucking push me.” Topper growls out, a tingle growing in your core at his aggressive tone, “You know you fucking love it.”

“Topper, we can’t do this.” You try to argue but it comes out as more of a whine when you feel his fingers wrapping around your throat.

“Didn’t I always say you talked too much? Why don’t you put those words to use and tell me how much you want it.” he pushes you back against the door, his lips finding yours in a forceful kiss.

“Fuck you, Topper.” you moan against his mouth pushing your body as close to his as it would go, needing to feel him on you again.

“C’mon baby,” Topper growls against your neck as he nips at your earlobe, “You can do better than that.”

His hand brushes over your breasts and then now to your core, pushing his hand against you through the fabric of the dress.

“Topper, please.” You whine out pushing your hips against his hand, all pride leaving your body as the need for the boy grew stronger.

He presses his lips to yours once again, biting and sucking at your lower lip before sliding his tongue into your mouth. You moan against his mouth, your hands sliding around the back of his neck and holding him close to you. His free hand comes to your hips, pushing you back against the door as he moves his lips to your neck once again. A soft moan leaves your body when his teeth brush the skin below your ear before sinking in and sucking a mark into your skin. You pulled his body closer to yours, groaning out his name as he rolled his hips against yours. You may hate him more than anyone but he’s the only one who could get you so worked up this fast and you hated yourself for it, but right now he’s all you needed.

“Topper, please.” You moan out pressing your hips into his.

“Now you want it baby girl?” He mumbles against your neck, trailing kisses down to your collar bone, “you look so fucking sexy in this dress, I couldn’t stay away.” He kisses the cleavage that was on show as his hands tugged the dress over your hips.

Topper pulls your underwear down as he sinks to his knees in front of you, his lips instantly meeting your core and going to work. He slides his tongue along your clit as his fingers grip your thighs tightly, pulling you closer to his mouth.

You tangle your fingers in his hair, grinding yourself against his tongue, “Fuck, Topper.” You drop your head back against the door and close your eyes.

Topper circles his tongue around your clit as his finger trails up your thigh to tease at your entrance. You try and push yourself against his finger but he moves it away each time and you feel him smirking against you.

“Topper, please.” You whine out desperately and he finally gives you what you need and slips a finger into you. He instantly starts with a fast pace, thrusting his finger into you a couple times before adding a second while his tongue worked on your clit, licking and sucking at the most sensitive part. Moans fall from your lips as you buck against his tongue, gripping and pulling at his hair.

Topper pulls away earning a whine of complaint from you. He stands up quickly and grabs you by the hips, picking you up he places you on the counter, pulling your hips to the edge. You pull the boy into a desperate kiss as he fumbles with the zipper on his shorts. Finally he gets it open and pushes them along with his boxers down his thighs, he rubs his tip along your clit teasingly.

“Do you want it, baby?” He asked, nipping at your shoulder.

You nod your head quickly and he lands a harsh slap against your thigh, “answer me properly.” He growls.

“Yes, topper, please I need it.” You moan out, “I need you.”

Topper obliged and finally pushed himself into you, letting out a low moan as he filled you up. He doesn’t waste time letting you adjust and starts thrusting into you harshly, you grip onto his shoulders tight as you let out a loud moan.

“You fucking love that, you little slut.” Topper groans through gritted teeth.

His hands grip onto your hips, pulling them to meet his fast thrusts, you're sure you’ll have bruises left behind tomorrow. You dug your nails into his shoulders as you moaned his name, letting him fuck you as fast as he needed. You wouldn’t admit it but you loved being this close to him again. His hand reaches up and grips around your throat, making it harder for you to breathe and accentuating the pleasure you felt.

“Do you like that, huh? You like when I choke you?” Topper thrusts into you harder pulling strangled moans from your lips.

You nod your head quickly, unable to form any coherent words. You slide your fingers into his hair and tug on it harshly causing him to hiss and slam his hips against yours harder. Topper pulls out completely before thrusting back into you, repeating his actions a couple times bringing you closer to your climax.

“Fuck, Topper, yes!” You scream out feeling your walls tighten around him.

“No one else can fuck you like this.” He growls out pushing your head back against the mirror behind you as his thrusts speed up again.

“Topper! Fuck!” You let out a loud moan as your orgasm takes over your body, the feeling of bliss washing over you as you shake under the boy's hands.

Toppers thrusts become sloppier as he follows you over the edge, moaning out a slew of curse words as he fills you up. He slowly lets go of your neck, breathing heavily as he pulls out of you and leans his back against the counter beside you. You stay leant back against the mirror, slowly getting your breathing back under control before you hopped down, surprised your legs didn’t buckle under you. You find your underwear and quickly pull them back on as Topper zips his pants back up, looking over at you with a smirk.

“I knew you still wanted me.” He says, leaning over towards you and pushing your back against the counter.

“Fuck you.” You mutter out but the boy just laughs.

“You just did, princess,” he replies, a smug look plastered across his face.

“Whatever, it was mediocre at best.” You lie as you turn away from him.

He grabs you by the hips, pulling you back against his body as he sinks his teeth into your neck, “You know I’m the best you’ve ever had.” he mumbles against your skin.

You fight the moan wanting to leave your mouth and push away from him, “Until next time, pogue.” Topper laughs.

You flip him off as you pull the door open, “There’s not gonna be a next time.” You call back, wanting so much to believe yourself but having Topper that close to you again brought back all the feelings you thought you’d lost for the boy.

You hated the hold he had on you and the fact that you wished he’d run after you and ask you to be his again. But he didn’t come and you knew he saw you as nothing more than a play thing.

PART 2

#topper thornton x reader #topper thornton smut #topper thornton imagine #topper thornton fic #outer banks #outer banks x reader #outer banks imagine #outer banks fic #my writing

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mnogorgannik · 4 years ago

Note

2 10 n 11 :)

this is basically an essay im so sorry. watch how hard i can infodump (ill put this under a cut hopefully it works bc sometimes tumblr decimates the keep reading things if theyre in asks)

2. Who’s your favorite of the Bound? What do you think of the different ideologies they have? Which of the factions are you most aligned with?

WE ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER I AM A PETER LOVER THROUGH AND THROUGH!!!!!! oh baby i love that morally questionable architect. pretty early on in getting into pathologic (it’s coming up on a year now...) i thought about peter stamatin too hard and now i’m here. but really i find him to be such a fascinating character!

the thing about pathologic that i love is how almost every character can be as complex as you want. pathologic does an excellent job of implying a lot of character traits while only exploring some in further detail, which in some games is frustrating but patho does it so well! it consistently hints at traits and lets you fill in the details yourself. peter’s character is extremely interesting to me... and maybe a little more relatable at times than i want to admit lol.

i think i’ll talk about both stamatins though! their dynamic hurts me a lot. i’ll start with andrey bc i’ve been thinking about him lately. although i’ll bounce back and forth between both stamatins.

i’ve said this before but i’ll say it again.... andrey’s role as a protector who inadvertently hurts the people he cares about really gets to me. he is not a shield but, in his own words, a battering ram. and the problem is that battering ram has a recoil.

i have to wonder how that mentality of his came about, anyways. the implication is that it’s always just been him and peter, so did he take on that role because there wasn’t anyone else to do it?

in his efforts to protect peter from... military, i believe, he kills four people. which leads to daniil getting mistaken for andrey, which leads to daniil getting shot. and almost dying. he protects peter but to a smothering extent, peter even says he’s been suffering for ten years bc of andrey which is a LOADED line. he protects on a physical level but he kinda fucks up on the emotional.

there’s a horrible irony in peter and eva being the people he cares about the most and both attempting suicide. with eva once she’s missing he immediately goes running off trying to look for her, and . ahh i can’t remember right off hand what exactly he thought happened. but ik he was probably expecting a fight. with peter he says that after that he’ll never let peter leave his side, at least “as far as his knife can fly”... it sounds cheesy but the one thing he can’t save anyone from is themself.

and god the way andrey bases his ENTIRE sense of self worth on peter fucking hurts. they’re not peter and andrey, the architects. they’re Peter And Andrey, The Architect. (thinking about “one architect, two brothers” here.) andrey thinks he’s larger than life and all but he’s constantly living in peter’s shadow. their theatre of death positions come to mind here, with peter standing up, looking down at andrey. but andrey is on his knees in front of peter, arms limp to his sides.... separated by a wooden beam...

peter’s side of this dynamic is fascinating too. his dependency on andrey is. ow. leaving all practical matters and decision making to him... there’s this resentment (That’s Fine I’ve Been Suffering For Ten Years Because Of Him) and lack of communication that especially shows through for him.

while in p2 andrey completely crumbles if peter dies, peter doesn’t seem to care...... at all....?? which hopefully is elaborated upon in p2. he’s willing to talk to aspity about worrying if andrey is angry with him but he can’t bring it up with andrey himself. when he asks how andrey is doing he stops and says andrey is a “tough man” and can handle anything. in general, while it’s definitely there for andrey, themes of dependency are really glaringly obvious for peter.

one of my favorite peter things i’ve talked about before is still his ego!!! peter has a gigantic ego!!! he really does think that even though he’s hit the ceiling and can’t go any further he is still “a true architect” and “the rock upon which is built the stairway to tomorrow”. he has a blunt edge to him and he doesn’t ever tell you more than he thinks he needs to which i love. if he doesn’t want to tell you something he isn’t gonna do it. this is a character trait i think ppl miss which is sad because it’s so good and adds another layer of depth to him!

it really does hurt me how he’s valued for his mind alone (AHEM AHEM AHEM. GEORGIY) but it’s the thing nobody understands about him. i’m nowhere near as smart as peter lol but i do know that pain of feeling like none of your ideas can be understood because you just can’t express them the way you’d like, and then feeling like you’ll never be able to make it happen.

also, here’s a little thing i’ve picked up on. this connection probably doesn’t exist but i’m making it because the stamatins make me lose my mind and start becoming one of those people who looks for connections in everything i guess. peter standing in the theatre of death, andrey below him. peter’s loft being at a high point in the town, the broken heart being underground. peter’s loft is also higher north on the map but the broken heart is lower south. just smth interesting

i have more thoughts on them of course! but this is all getting awfully long. i feel like i’ve only just gotten to the tip of the iceberg even though i’ve written so much skfjskfjs this just feels quite surface level or. at least what is surface level for me who thinks about the stamatins so hard.

anyways i’ll keep my answers to the other two parts of this question quick! peter and andrey’s more creative vs practical mindsets are rly neat. especially because i would actually argue peter is a little more grounded in reality in certain aspects. not all, but certain ones...... their take on the utopian ideology is interesting. hot take: peter’s version of utopianism leans a tad towards humility. and andrey /does/ feel “straightforward utopian” but i think in certain regards? this man has a bit of a termite streak..... (hi al if you’re reading this). but i won’t get into that right now i’ve already gone on so long. saving that for later.

i think all of the factions kinda suck in their own way sometimes, honestly? although all of them are well written and have their pros and cons. were i in pathologic and i had to choose one i’d probably be a termite but everyone around me seems to think i’m a utopian. is it bc i love peter so much

10. What would you be like as a Pathologic character?

this question is a hard one! i did make a self insert once, mile-a-minute, but they’ve become their own oc by now. i think i’d be very...... very afraid...... probably isolating myself why does every pathologic character break quarantine???? also you could trade beetles with me :) thats about all i’ve got sorry this is real short

11. What is something you would change, writing-wise, about either game?

UGH i’ve been gushing about pathologic because. obviously i love this game so much. but the way it handles racism & such (in both games!) leaves much to be desired :/

i see a lot of the points it’s trying to make but i think the way they’re handled can be very messy. there are moments that work very well but. a lot that don’t. (i am aware that dybowski writes partially from his own experiences)

all too often the game “validates” the kin’s oppression and... at times paints them as oddly antagonistic? i don’t like how often as artemy you’re able to be like “i’m not one of those beasts” and i think there are better ways to touch on his internalized racism. in general the constant comparisons to animals is weird. you get big vlad who is obviously explicitly racist comparing them to animals, but then sometimes it’s like “ACTUALLY calling them animals is fine :)”

i think the herb brides are kind of. Hm. in their portrayal. also using parts of the buryat alphabet to denote an accent is weird. making odongh and herb brides inhuman is weird. connecting the kin to Magic is weird.

and, listen, i’d really like to not be playing Artemy Burakh Experiences a Microaggression Simulator every time i’m playing the haruspex route. hate that you either can’t call ppl out on their shit or if you can it ends the conversation/bars you from getting necessary information. glad you at least get to drag the vlads, i guess?

i also was talking about this but wrt peter specifically, and this issue is present throughout the game but it’s especially visible with peter, i don’t like how often you can mock him for his addiction.

he’s obviously in an extremely rough patch! being able to be just so plain cruel to him about the dependency on alcohol (and iirc in p1 hallucinogens, bc aglaya mentions it) he’s formed to cope with his mental illness & trauma just feels bad. especially because yes it is not a healthy coping mechanism at all but... it still is a coping mechanism, if that makes sense?

the way you’re able to constantly rub it in his face feels awful. peter is fully aware that it isn’t good for him and shows a desire to quit. even if he didn’t it would still be awful to say because. it’s just insensitive. like you don’t just go up to someone and keep being like HEY YOU DRINK A LOT YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT DO YOU KNOW WHAT WATER IS? feels really bad to keep harping on something that causes him pain and that he struggles with every single day.

however peter does have moments where he tells you Not to say that, or if you pry into why he drinks he’ll outright say he doesn’t remember you being his friend, which is better than nothing.

in p1 moreso than p2 i hate how you can be like oh he’s craaaazy he’s off his rocker he’s delusional!!!! that “why, i never... an architect of schizophrenia!” comment sticks in my mind because it’s just... so genuinely mean. especially because if i remember correctly that line is from when he’s planning on LITERALLY FUCKING BURNING HIMSELF ALIVE

i think if they were going to have all of this they should have gone more in depth on how it’s really. not good that he’s treated so poorly. and i do believe that’s what they were going for, a la the art book w/ the whole “not to be made into a drunken clown, this is a tragic character”, etc. but it just doesn’t land. i’m holding out for the bachelor and changeling routes in p2 to see if they expand upon any of it but i highly doubt i’ll be satisfied in this regard.

i stand by the One time it was really fucking funny to clown on peter being the time you can tell him little girls eat raspberries and earthworms and he just believes you

#asks #patho #GODDDDDD #i hope you wanted to read an essay today

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surveys-at-your-service · 5 years ago

Text

Survey #255

“who gives a fuck if they hate you; you’re the god that they pray to.”

How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Could you go a day not talking to the last person you kissed? It would suck. What was the last song you listened to that made you cry? I didn't like, sob, but "Another Life" by Motionless In White does it. Your ex REALLY needs you at 3am and you have a way to their house would you go? Well, I can't with Sara considering she lives two hours away, and that's by plane. If she lived here, duh. For Girt or Jason, yes. Without saying any names what is one thing that you would like to say to someone(s)? I'm sorry. Would your parents get mad if you got drunk while they were present? No. Would you date someone who lived in another state? Eh, maybe. I don't know if I want to do long-distance again. I mean I probably would, but idk. Are you friends with your ex? Sara and Girt, yes. Who is the person you last texted? Sara. When’s the last time you told people you were fine, but really weren’t? I dunno, I honestly don't lie about that often. When was the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? Months back when I found out the shit my therapist said about me and disability. Not only did I want to knock her jaw off, but I sobbed for like, a long-ass time. Who did you spend your summer with last year? Just Mom, really. ... Or wait, maybe that was the summer Sara was here??? My memory is such shit, idk if that was last year or the one before. What’s bothering you right now? Stress about dropping out. Have you lost friends in the past year? I don't think so, at least. Have you and the last person you kissed ever talked about going out? We did date. If the person you’re dating said they were falling in love with you, what would you do? I'm not dating anyone. Who was the last person you were in love with for more than a year? Sara. Do you have a secret life? RP stays a pretty big secret. Have you ever seen the last person you kissed without a shirt? Yes. Do your parents know EVERYTHING about you? No. What are you watching? Nothing rn, surprisingly. I'm listening to music. Are you friends with your best friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend? She's single. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive? Yeah. There’s a serial killer in your house, what do you do? Jump out the window. If the last person you kissed went back to their first love, what would you do? I think I am hers. Do you own any bug spray? No, not currently. We need some damn wasp killer. Every spring/summer, they build a nest literally right above our back door. Are you a good gift giver? Honestly think I'm really good at it. I always try to put a load of thought into it. What's the longest trip you’ve ever been on? The drives to either NY or Florida. I can't remember which is further. Are you a daughter or son-in-law? No. Do you know anyone in the military? Multiple people. Do you like your significant other's siblings? N/A Have you ever received a singing birthday card? Yeah. Those always suck when you open them and boom, loud singing to an obnoxious song. Do you own anything made by APPLE? My iPod. Have you ever tried Hamburger helper? Yeah, that was a semi-frequent dinner as a kid. I never liked it that much, though. What was your first car's color? N/A Do you have a best friend? Ye. Do you remember who your Kindergarten teacher was? I do. Do you have a favorite president? A least favorite? No, considering I don't know enough about any and their policies. Can you french braid? No. Were you ever a girl scout or a boy scout? I was as a tiny kid. I met my first best friend that way. What's your least favorite color? I'm just gonna use the very basic colors: yellow or green. Do you know anyone in jail? Not currently. Do you have kids? Ew. What's the strangest name you’ve ever heard? Apples. Yes. I'm serious. How old were you when you learned to walk? Idk. Do you own anything made of lace? Yeah. What's your favorite football team? Idc. What kind of bubble gum do you chew? Just about any. Fruity is my favorite. Do you wear a one-piece bathing suit or two-piece, a speedo or trunks? NOBODY needs to see me in a two-piece. Did you go to your senior prom? Yes. Do you support a charity? Well of course. I used to give coins to those super-old charity things for sick kids back in the day, but I can't remember the exact charity it was. I also donated hair to Children With Hair Loss a couple years back. I haven't donated to any other that I know of bc no personal income and I don't ask my parents for money really, but boy have I wanted to. I always use that Facebook feature where you pick a charity to share and ask for donations for your birthday, though; I've done the Trevor Project and one for pancreatic cancer in honor of my grandmother. I don't remember the others. Do you pop your knuckles? EW no please don't in my presence @ Sara. Do you scrapbook? No. I just don't have the creative drive and dedication to. If you could change your eye color would you and to what color? A much brighter blue. Have you ever had braces? For a long-ass time because we couldn't afford to take them off. One tooth is pushed too far back because of it. Imagine your dream home, does it have a fence around it? No. I want to live in the woods where *that's* my yard. When were you the saddest in your whole life? 2016 OH WOWIE WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Have you ever seen a ghost? I definitely believe I have. Are you a virgin? No. How many books do you read a month? I like, just started reading again, so I can't say. Can you type fast? Very. In school were you bullied? I'm extremely thankful I wasn't. Have you ever swam in the ocean? Yes, I love it. Do you own a boat? Not me myself, no. Dad does. What about a camper? No. Do you read the newspaper? No. Are you on any teams? Team Mystic in Pokemon Go *waggles fist @ criticism* If you died today where do you think you’d go? Idk. Who really knows what happens when you die. I hope it's some serene existence, but, *shrugs*. Do you know anyone who is pregnant? Ummmm I don't think so. Who is the first contact in your cell phone? Best friend! :') What color are you bed sheets? The one I'm using now is light blue. Do you use online dating? I cannot FUCKING believe I was briefly on Christian Mingle I would actually rather die- How often are you sick? Extremely rarely. Did/Do you miss a lot of school? Eh. I had my mental health days and had to leave early a lot. Do you like scented candles? Yeah man. When was the last time you were told you were pretty/beautiful/gorgeous? When I recently changed my FB picture after forever. Do you hate the last guy, other than family, you had a conversation with? No. What’s the last thing that made you laugh? Roman being silly. If someone were to ask you out right now would you say yes? I don't know. Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? Yeah. Name four things you want right now: My fucking tattoo updated laksjdlflw, a healthy goddamn weight, my laptop, and a tarantula omg. Do you prefer to hold or be held? I mean, it depends on who we're talking about. I guess generally held? Are you currently wanting any piercings? You have no idea. Are you afraid of falling in love? Very. What was the last thing that made you feel like your life was complete? lol I've never felt that. You ever slept on the floor with someone you liked? Yeah. Do you still speak to any of your classmates from elementary school? Off the very top of my head, no. Does it take a lot to make you cry? NOPE. What is the wallpaper on your computer screen? Why did you choose it? One of my favorite pictures of Teddy, because I adore and miss him. Is there a pattern on the pants you’re currently wearing? Which one? Plaid. Do you like going to baby showers? Do you go only for the cake? I mean, not especially. They're crowded and it's a bad association anyway since it was the last time I hung out with Jason. The cake is indeed the best part, lmao. Mexican food, Chinese food, Italian food, French food or American food? American. What is the color scheme of your absolute favorite fast-food restaurant? Red, yellow, and blue. Do people ever ask you to do things they’re too short to accomplish? Very rarely. I'm not all that tall. Is there carpet or hardwood floor in your bedroom? Carpet. Do you believe in superstitious things such as breaking a mirror? No. Do you get sick of people who call themselves bipolar all the time? As someone who is bipolar, very much so, yes. Ever have an ultra-sound performed on you? What was it for? Yes, for my liver. I was fine. Do you like those "end of the world," "Armageddon" movies? Not especially. Ever been choked severely on something during lunch at your school? No. Do you remember who you sat next to in Kindergarten? Who was it? No. Has anyone ever compared you to an animal? Which one(s)? No. Do you eat more vegetables or fruits? What’s your favorite fruit/veggie? Fruits, by far. Strawberries and broccoli. Something on the human body that grosses you out the most: This is not intentional or meant to be discriminatory of those with 'em, but penises literally repulse me visually. Do you like meeting new people? What’s your most common greeting? Yeah, even though I'm scared. I think I say "hi" or "hey" most. What is something that bothers you about most surveys in general? Extremely heteronormative. Would you survive if zombies were to take over the world? Why or why not? HA no. I'm an anxious mess that is not fast or nimble in any way. What is your favorite color of apple? Red, green or yellow? I like the reddish/yellowish ones. Do you live anywhere near a mall? Maybe like, 15-20 mins away. If you were dying who would you say goodbye to first out of everyone? My mom. Are you someone who actually likes to babysit children? NO. What’s your favorite lunch meat, if you even like any in the first place? Honey ham. Would you rather write with a pen or a pencil? Why is this? Pencil, by far. You can erase. Scibbling stuff out looks messy. Have you ever wanted to be in a band? What position exactly? I am NOT kidding: one of the motivating factors of me going back to public school after 8th grade was the idea of making new friends and maybe making a band to be the guitarist lmfao. Who is your role model or hero in life if you have one? I have multiple for different reasons, but #1's gotta be Mark, man. Were you a really mean kid or a sweet and quiet kid? I was a really friendly kiddo. Do you keep secrets from your parents that you don’t keep from your friends? I don't think so. What is your father’s best friend’s name? Do you know them personally? Idk who that would be. Ever submit a video to America’s Funniest Home Videos? I don't believe we have. The most painful medical procedure you’ve ever had? Jesus fuck, I wouldn't wish having an infected cyst drained without NEARLY enough numbing medication on the goddamn devil. Are you someone who likes to eat Poptarts? What’s your favorite flavor? Yeah. I like the chocolate sundae one most. Ever have a dream you’re being abducted by aliens? Was it scary? No. What is your favorite flavor of Doritos? What do you drink with them? MMMMMMMMMMM cool ranch. Usually soda with chips. What is your favorite nickname you like to be called? Why do you like it? Ozzy. *shrugs* I like my online nickname and the "y" added sounds kinda affectionate ig. Do you already have your outfit for tomorrow planned out? I don’t plan my outfits. Has your favorite song ever been featured on a commercial? No. What would you say was the best year of your life? Why? 2017. SO MUCH DEVELOPMENT AND HEALING!!!!!!! Have you ever been pulled over by the cops for speeding? No. Is anyone in your family a firefighter? Who is it anyway? No.

#survey #quiz #questions #personal

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96xie · 5 years ago

Text

2019

a whole summary of this difficult year

2019 was full of unexpected good and bad surprises along with lessons and experiences.

january

spent good time with mocha, wayo and brian

had such a good time with guildies from our game

met up with some other ppl from the same game and didnt feel too good bc i was never good with crowds and/or groups that were already well established

tried tinder for the first time because i thought it would be nice to put myself out there for once

feburary

continued my tinder journey and actually had fun with it. it was pretty scary at the same time because it was such a new experience talking to other people and to have them notice you? because i always knew and felt that i wasnt really the desirable one.

actually hooked up with a guy from last months meetup and hung out twice. thought it was going somewhere because he, too, showed signs to progress further ((was wrong because he lied and showed red flags later))

one major red sign to me: no response after genuinely saying thank you for rides and dinner. im the type of person who always says thank you because im honestly grateful for the little and big things. he basically shrugged it off.

also, a huge liar. yah, big no

i brought him to my friends birthday bc they and himself wanted to meet each other, it was fun while it lasted but stuff happened

towards the end of the month, i cut my ties off with him for being awfully mean to me and also cut ties with my “friends” for having really bad assumptions of me.

i was frustrated with myself at that time bc his cats gave me a bad breakout and i felt super ugly. also i wasnt sad over him, but over the fact that i let myself be treated like a second option. eventually i learned that it was good that i didnt let things go further and that i only deserve the very best.

even though i was hurt, i thought it was a good experience, esp since i havent really been in the “dating game” for years. like it was a just a small step to putting myself out there once again

a week later after that a classmate asked me out and got tons of compliments from him and wondered “the universe really works in crazy ways”

march

met some cool people through the same mobile game on a discord server and they were much better than the first group.

also met this really funny dude in the same group. like he was so fun to talk to and he understood my dumb lingo

remember when my classmate asked me out on a date? it turned out a bit weird. but considering this was my first date in YEARS i thought it was a cool experience. got some carne asada fries outta him

i had the dude i was talking to call me so i could leave the date tho LOL ((he helped me lots, esp how to deal with awkward situations with my classmate. also at this point, i really liked talking to him but i wasnt rly sure if i wanted to date other guys bc i had been hurt previously)

this month was pretty much dedicating most of my time talking to him and i enjoyed it alot

also went to pubs for the first time to hangout with my coworkers. such an interesting place

april

tried rollerskating for the first time ever, ended up with a bunch of bruises but it was cool!

also tried 7leaves for the first time and instantly fell in love with mungbean

also went clubbing in sf with my friends and it was such a fun time like i had SO much fun

i got auctioned off of SAD! that phase was just a crazy ride. while there was many that dm’d me, there was only one special person that i only replied to and continued to talk to him on a daily basis

((honestly, i was scared that i was taking things a bit further with him because a part of me was like “are you ready for this?” and “have you really recovered from that guy?” or “can you give this guy your all?” just alot of overthinking))

spent 4/20 at sf with my friends, and overall had a GREAT time. took too many hits and drank so ya gorl was crossfaded. not sure if i wanna do tht again tho

unfortunately woke up with a swollen face and it lasted for a LONG time.

may

so my face is still swollen, still bad, red as a tomato and at this point i was really hesitant to meet up with the guy ive been talking to. i mean!! my skin was SO bad. i felt like i was gonna make a fool out of myself by scaring him away

but,,,, he was still willing to see me despite my appearance and : ( he was so accepting and typing this makes my heart ache bc he is SUCH a good man : (

i met up with the guy towards the end of the month in sj and first thing he does when i walk up to him is give me this great warm hug and so many smooches !!!!!!! like my heart is melting

eventually we became official !!! he got us an airbnb for the night and we jus spent time cuddling on the bed and honestly i : ( i like him so much

june

my birthday wasnt rly that like “wow” it was actually kinda annoying

my bf flew up to sf where we met up, explored the city and slept the night in at an airbnb. next day went to oakland where i introduced my friends to him!

went to my first festival with several with my friends, including ppl from our same guild from our game and it was SO fun

rolled for the first time and it was SUCH an experience. redosed like twice and ended up hallucinating which is something ill def not do again

also i really wished my bf was with me at that time : ( while i had an extremely fun time, i wish i shared that moment with him : (

july

went to vegas for my cousins 22nd bday. shit was wild

also rolled there.

also threw up for the very first time

a fight broke out at the club and that shit was fuckgin CRAZY and it was RIGHT next to our table

also used alot of my money for the whole trip in which nobody really told me about so …. i was like ok.. fuck …

also my skin was still bad during these past months so it was pretty hard masking it

like really hard. with someone with terrible eczema, its just extremely hard to hide it

august

bf flew to sac!!! he met my mom for the first time and we explored the city and stuff

and went on an ikea date! and! honestly i just really loved spending time with him :c

we also spent time with my friends! they came over also! and ate some fuckgin bomb ass waffles

and then took bus down to la to meetup with some friends from our guild towards the end of the month!

it was pretty nice to be able to stay with my bf in his apartment !!!!!

also some scalding tea but thats rly for another time

to make it super short tho: our friend that we’ve known much longer than the girl he met (less than 3 months) dropped our friendship SO quick lol

september

cousin bonding @ beach, too cold for tht doe

towards the end of the month, my bf flew me down!!! so i spent the weekend with him and like always, only had a good time with him!

AND ALWAYS EATING GOOD FOOD!

october

during this fall semester, i took online classes and one of them was a 8week class. there was a topic about mental health and how we can take care of ourselves better and i just thought it was such an important thing to cover. i feel like its not talked about enough

november

spent thanksgiving with my family down in morgan hill and ate good food! honey ham has a special place in my heart.

went black friday shopping first at walmart, lowkey disappointed in myself because i was bummed out the apple watches were sold out. the materialistic part of me jumped out oof

slept at my cousins then went to the mall! didnt get anything besides really good bulgogi fries. i hated going into stores tho cuz everything was literally crowded. hated it !!!!!!!

went to a small festival in sacramento with my friends at the end of the month and this time is 7 of us (than the usual 5)! it was sososo fun.

also took my coworker with me, it was actually amusing to see bc our group were all asian and he’s the only tall white guy

made hotpot at home and we also went out for milktea and waffles again! sooo good.

december

flew down to see my bf again and only had a good time! went to this garden with beautiful lights and ! ugh! SO pretty!

cried in his bed before my flight back, cried on the plane, cried at home and cried before i slept. i miss him

also racked up alot of hours so i could pay for my tuition and my family’s bills. kinda sucks bc im pretty tired but i gotta do what do i gotta do.

christmas was a bit lonely bc my mom went to the philippines and i dont rly talk to my brother but my kuya came the next day and we ate n watched stuff

overall, it was a whacky year. but im so glad to have met ed. he means SO much to me. a part of me was so hesitant to date him because i mean, he’s man with his life set. i dont have a car, im still in school, i have this part time job where im giving my mom all my paychecks and which the only money im keeping is just my tips (not much), i still have issues with myself and other conflicts and honestly theres much to do, learn and grow from. but he’s so supportive, understanding and loving and i love and appreciate him from the bottom of my heart. most of the time i wonder if im doing and if im being enough for him. i worry about that alot but he’s so patient with me. i laugh alot when im with him and i feel so happy.

did i mention that we are long distance? him being in la and me in sacramento. so the only thing thats connecting us is facetime. maybe once every two months will i see him in person but yep. when i had my first panic attack, i really wanted him right next to me. at that moment i felt even more sad because of course you’re gonna want you’re significant other during a moment like that. but anyways, i always miss him and i always want him next to me and i always love him. i want to hurry up and get my education done with so i can be with him. not to sound like omg im so madly infatuated with him type of thing tho. he’s someone who understands me and knows how to love me.

i hope 2020 treats me well despite all the challenges ahead of me.

#phew #old mutuals im on twtr! keep in contact with me there!

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6ad6ro · 6 years ago

Text

just a lil warning this post is a journey and gets a little dark. as in i will be making fun of some pathetic dude who wrote some rly offensive stuff. enjoy.

sooooo i recently was revisiting the dead or alive series. i played thru doa dimensions (it’s like a best-of abridged compilation of the first 4 games) and had a ton of fun. it’s been forever since i payed attention to doa, and i had forgotten how much i loved 2 and 3 way back when! i’m prob gonna get doa5lr next time im out, and 6 looks rly cool w all the changes! um i should prob say that i actually like the cute girls n char designs etc? but i could also care less that tittyanime element was (allegedly) toned down for 6 (it looks same to me lol). they went overboard w that kinda content in 5 so it’s a smart idea tbh. anyways it still looks v fun and this isn’t even the point of the post. see i was lookin up stuff about the content in 5 bc it has all these dif versions and it’s confusing? and suddenly i found this rly obnoxiously clickbaity title in one of the results. much like videos of people roadraging on youtube, i’m ashamed to say... cleeeek.

at first i was like “wait did they actually remove content”? i know 5 went way too far w that stuff lol but i didn’t know this kinda stuff went down? did sony ban costumes for bein too pervy like that’s crazy!

oh no no no nm. this was written by a liar and was titled specifically to trick ppl into thinking what i thought. in reality it was just some post whining about how a private tournament requested (not even forced) ppl to tone down on a few specific overly sexy costumes. so that ppl took it more seriously as a competitive fighter, rather than keeping the reputation as waifubuttonmasher. and most of the costumes were still fine to use too! like there’s... omg are there over 1,000 outfits in this?? what the heck... anyways pretty reasonable and nbd right? but err no bc this article was written by a dude who literally typed out “muh-soggy-knee istic”. like yes he actually wrote that out and emphasized it with italics like wow. i’m starting to get an idea of the type of person he is. and why something so minor as this would hurt his feelings so much.

oh my god is this a parody article? is this a joke?? i’m...

well tbh the sexy stuff def wasn’t the only appeal like it was just an aspect of an otherwi..................... HOLD THE FORT what the fuck did he just write!? wowww that’s like suuuuper offensive holy shit lol. no no fuck this dude. and oh god there’s one of the famous telling buzzwords too: “females”. christ.

listen. i’m a very devout pacifist. i’m passionately against violence. but i want to kick the shit outta this dude.

ahahah okay okay that made me laugh. i’m back. these fucking weirdo incel nazis are just so robotic? parodies of human beings with a four word vocabulary. u know the ones: CENSORSHIP! SJWS! FEMALES! ANITASARKEESIAN!

there he is! he looks sad tbh... i mean i don’t feel sorry for him bc he took all his his sadness and anger and... instead of seeing a therapist? he decided to be mortally afraid of women and “the gays” etc. and *laughing as i write this* become a serious video game journalist ehehe. great job, dude. seriously tho i hope u get actual help bc ur very confused about a lot of things... wait actually why the fuck is he talking about anita anyhow? err how old is this article? oh oops. stupid google. i rly need to start filtering stuff by date........ march 2015. god wasn’t that when the gamergaters were in full swing? and still pretending they cared about “journalistic integrity” rather than just openly hating any and all minorities? even so this article is pretty extreme for some poorly designed noname game website.

NEVERMIND! this whole site is a toilet. wow like this sucks. like suuuper ew. thanks google. like i’m sorry i’d better write a lil warning at the start of this post bc this shit is fucking gross........... annnnd done. apologies to anyone reading this. anyways THANKFULLY one of the top 5 posts ended up being a really really exciting and interesting one!

thank you jesus. um i didn’t want to look into this site anymore bc it was clear it was some long-dead edgelord clickbait dumpsterfire and there wouldn’t have been a point. also i didn’t wanna depress myself any more. so like the good smart person i am (def not dumb), i did exactly the opposite and started reading that goodbye article.

oh so you were “surprised” your “vision” didn’t go over well? maybe don’t make a hate site dipshit. maybe don’t exploit prejudice to make ur money. fucking imbecile. slug. and AHA see see i fucking knew it. gamergate. lol. god damnit...

...”masculine men” lol what the fuck OH WAIT OH NOOOOOO OH GOD it’s THIS fuckin dude? NOOOOO what the fuck this guy is like one of the biggest pieces of shit on the planet! i can’t believe i accidentally was on some site by the return of kings guy. oh goddamn... no fucking wonder. i have nothing else to say. this journey couldn’t have ended any worse lol. post is cancelled.

#dead or alive #this was actually rly fun to write #long #gaming #anikiii

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karmanticmoved · 5 years ago

Note

1-85 uwu

j esus okay

1. describe yourself.

uh,, emotional ig, dumbass, quiet, exhausted all of the time, v queer, healthy mix of feminine and masculine, insecure, and not tha t great tbh. kinda a pussy ass b itch

2. if you could go anywhere for a week all expenses paid where would it be?

idrk. maybe somewhere like a hella nice beach in another country, maybe somewhere in europe. i like travelling but i hate the travel to get there and have no money so i havent put thought into it. maybe hawaii or somewhere like that.

3. do you have siblings?

the one thats still alive is my half brother

4. what is your favorite constellation, why?

orion maybe bc i don't know a lot but i can see that one from my bedroom window even in the city n idk. its comforting. or scorpius cause i'm a scorpio

5. favorite color.

yellow, pink, or blue.

6. what kind of music do you listen to?

almost anything. whatever catches my interest.

7. favorite flower. (you can name as many as you want cause flowers are awesome)

forgot what i said last time but those

yellow carnations i think?

8. if you could do magic, what is the first spell you would learn?

maybe smth to put myself to sleep immediately bc f uCk

9. favorite childhood memory.

my summer camp memories are pretty great. also memories of my dad and i going fishing are good.

10. have you ever been cheated on?

i mean in theory i couldve been bc online relationships but no. n im polyam and have identified as such for a majority of my relationships so no.

11. if you could describe your perfect room, what would it be?

big but not too big, yknow? like big enough that it can be filled and have room to walk around and lay on the ground or whatever but not Empty. and a pretty big bed to stretch out on, n a closet in the room. multiple windows w blackout curtains so theres light but it can be blocked out. n fluffy rugs or carpeting but preferably rugs in case smth spills so we can get it out of at least Remove the rug. and probably a cat tree thing in corner for dipper. n a computer desk and actual lights that light up the whole room. but probably,, fairy lights too bc full lights too bright. and i kinda want a pink room but blue or yellow work also. a nd pride flags on the walls + posters and various other stuff bc plain walls are boring. and tons n tons of b ooks too.

12. favorite animal.

river otter

13. what was the last photo you took of?

cat

14. do you believe in soul mates?

i'm not sure. i do kinda think there are people who you will like. really really click with and who become so important in your life that they're like. apart of u yknow? but i don't think that anyone as an individual needs to keep those people in their life forever. they arent destined to stay with them, and they shouldnt force that relationship (platonic, familial, romantic, or whatever) even if they were close for years and years. screw destiny. youll have people you care about, and sometimes you have to break that bond to save yourself, and thats okay. there will be other people who can and will be just as important. that got kinda off topic skbsks. i don't think theres really like Destiny soulmates. but there could be like. soulmates in the sense of for however long we're together, we're soul bonded. even if its not forever. does that even make se nse skbsns

15. do you hang toilet paper over or under?

over is the one thats socially acceptable right

16. your go to place to eat & your favorite thing to get there.

idk theres a place near a movie theater closeish to my house and its a nice little cafe and i dont eat there bc i dont eat much in general but i get their bubble tea and i love. raspberry bubble tea w rose popping bubbles. its comfort drink.

17. do you believe everything happens for a reason?

no. sometimes shit happens for no reason, and its bullshit, but you can't reverse it, so you gotta figure out how to move on from it.

18. guilty pressures?

im assuming thats meant to be pleasures

umm,, idrk. i don't know what exactly i like that would count as a guilty pleasure so,,

19. favorite mythical creature, why?

merpeople are s o cool i fuckin. love funky aquatic pals hell yeah. maybe im just Water babey but. they're rad. dragons are also hella cool bc like dragons???? theyre scaly and prett y and can breathe fire or have wings and kill u?? also like selkies bc again. water. but i used to hear a lot of stories abt them and theyre so nea t

20. something most people don’t know about you.

i have the potential to be a huge asshole and also kinda Wish to fuckin murder someone sometimes but. i act nice most of the time anyway.

not murder murder but i can get angr y enough that i just wanna Stab smth

21. where did you grow up, what was it like?

grew up kinda near the edge of the city, still in it but not like the main city area. in western washington. it was kinda rly boring, i used to spend a lot more time outside or just by myself playing with leaves or toys or whatever. when i had friends i played make believe w them even when outside of school. so yeah. boring id say.

22. do you believe aliens exist?

sure.

23. what was your last google search?

other than names for some actors n stuff, i was looking up various star wars things

24. what did your last relationship teach you?

the one that like. ended? i guess thatd be. be careful with your own feelings and try to figure them out before jumping into anything, and also don't try to force smth that in reality isnt really working.

25. would you relocate for love?

honestly yeah

26. do you hold grudges or forgive easy?

both. it just depends on how badly i or someone i care about was hurt by it. more likely to hold a grudge if a friend was hurt by someone d eep enough to leave a lasting impact or if they don't get a genuine apology i will be 🔫🔫. or if the person keeps hurting them. even if that person is also my friend.

27. favorite book.

favorite graphic novel is bloom by kevin panetta

favorite books in general are autoboyography, more happy than not, and what if its us. all gay. i know. its okay. im a kinnie.

28. do you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert?

introvert by far

29. have you ever kept a journal, do you now?

i tried once. i probably will have to once i go see a therapist, or at least one for my Bad Thoughts

30. top 5 favorite movies.

in no particular order

little shop of horrors, love simon, coco, it (2017 and 1990), and shazam! ig? maybe others but i definitely Forgot all the shit ive watched

31. do you believe that everything happens for a reason?

32. what is your greatest fear?

definitely gotta be all of the people i love hating me and abandoning me or secretly hating me and then leaving me without saying anything. and the worst part is im always afraid its gonna happen babeyy

33. favorite alcoholic beverage.

im baby

34. most embarrassing thing you’ve done.

im embarrassed by my own existence. i don't remember the Most embarrassing thing

35. do you believe in ghosts?

not until i have proof that i can actually trust and believe in

36. what is the best and worst part of your personality?

idk ig im nice. but im also. very easily set off on certain emotions especially the bad ones which sucks like especially jealousy bc i dont wanna!! feel jealous!! tho i think that ties into my greatest fear bc my brain immediately tells me im useless to everyone and they hate me. but. sometimes i get jealous and then feel bad for that and then hate myself for all of it. bc my friends deserve to hang out w other people and care about other people im just fucking stupid babey !!

37. should you split the dinner bill?

i rly don't get why you wouldnt tbh like if u both wanna be there u should both pay. but if one person gonna pay it should be the person that asked.

38. are you a good liar?

most of the time. when it comes to my mental health i can either lie great or im literally breaking down in front of the person so

39. what keeps you up at night?

depressing thoughts. anxiety about everything. wishing i could cuddle and fall asleep w jay. sometimes i just cant sleep bc im too restless.

40. would you rather go without your phone or music?

music. i need my phone to text my friends and i Need my friends

41. do you believe in god?

what god would let the world get to the point its at. what god would allow people to do such fucked up shit.

no. i don't.

42. how do you relax when frustrated?

cry, take a nap, take a shower, listen to music, cuddle dipper

43. what’s something that offends you?

when people go "oh yeah i support gay rights but im still gonna eat at chick fil a bc its good" like i get so fucking. pissed off by that. youre not gonna fucking s ta rv e without their goddamn chicken. i know a bi person who goes there and says its okay bc they dont Directly Give Their money to Specifically anti gay organisations but im just. ugh. fucking pissed bc there are other places to get food just avoid the one place for fucks sake. their food is good it doesnt matter. its like saying yeah pewdiepie is a bad person and nazi and a racist asshole but his videos r funni haha so im gonna watch him anyway

44. favorite food

i hate myself whenever i eat food

45. if you were on a 10 hour flight and could sit and talk to any person the entire time, who would it be?

@destinedformuchmore or @pinaplelee

46. when do you feel the most confident?

never? but ig i feel confident when working on tech construction during theater tech. as long as i know what im doing.

47. what do you do in your free time?

sleep. draw. cry. play video games. talk to my friends.

48. is there anyone who has completely lost your respect

matpat did for being a dick abt neopronouns and making a transphobic joke and only apologizing when a cis person told him to. not when hundreds of trans people did. and also other jokes that are inherently offensive to various groups. a n d for making extremely not Child friendly jokes in his videos which are very much targeted towards kids. say what you will about the target audience, there are a lot of children who watch them. please stop making creepy nsfw jokes if you won't even swear, sir.

49. have you ever broken someone’s heart?

i guess so yeah. but she also broke mine first.

50. did/do you play sports in school?

i did. i don't anymore bc highschool sports are bullshit but. basketball, ultimate, and soccer.

51. when are you happiest?

talkin 2 jay prolly

52. coffee or tea?

tea

53. what is one possession you own you wouldn’t want to live without?

my binder. or my stuffed cat puppet thing ive had since i was 7

54. what is the first thing you notice about a person?

their general emotions, mostly. like if theyre in a good mood or if theyre bored or distracted or whatever. or if they seem interested in actually talking to me

55. what is your favorite season, why?

fall. my birthday, the atmosphere is nice, it's pretty, its hoodie weather.

56. what makes you laugh?

stupid little comments or jokes my friends make tend to make me laugh a lot harder than i should but jabdn

57. are you a clean or messy person?

a mix. i Cannot have some things messy or i will ksjqkd. Die but i don't make my bed too often bc its ha rd when its against 3 walls.

58. what is important for a successful relationship?

communication communication communicati

talk about ur goddamn problems n keep talking to each other.

59. what was your upcoming like?

if thats supposed to be upbringing

idk, very relaxed. pretty easygoing and kinda boring.

60. favorite holiday?

any holiday in december rly. i don't celebrate a Lot but the atmosphere and others celebrating is nice to see. i kinda wish my parents did more to embrace the jewish part in our family blike. whatever. christmas is fun.

61. what is the first thing you’d do if you won the lottery?

give half of it to my parents. and then probably use it for plane ticket

62. what’s the best pizza topping combination?

hawaiian pizza. pinapple n canadian bacon ty

63. favorite outdoor activity.

frisbee

64. how are you? honestly.

not great. i want highschool to end.

65. would you rather go camping in the woods or stay at a beach resort?

idk. camping is fun but if i get to stay at the resort for free i would rly love 2 stay at a resort tbh ive never done that

66. what is the most beautiful thing in nature?

waterfalls. or rivers or just. water in nature. and very green forests. aNd snow.

67. favorite type of candy?

none

68. if your life was a book, what would be the title?

i can and will do arson, an autobiography

69. what movie quotes do you use of a regular bases?

i quote john mulaney and whatever my obsessions are pretty regularly

70. what was cool when you were young but not cool now?

silly bandz. pokemon cards. these weird unicorn figures i collected

71. what’s the craziest conversation you have ever eves dropped on?

im mostly the one having the weird conversations

72. what’s the most interesting documentary you’ve ever watched?

i watched one about dogs and cats and their evolution which was lit

73. what’s the worst hairstyle you’ve had?

when i let the lady just go fuckin ham on my hair bc i was watching spirit that horse movie and didnt wanna stop so it was. rly bad bangs and hella short in back but not the sides

74. what do you like to cook?

whatever im hungry for. i don't have the energy to cook a lot

75. what’s the coolest animal you’ve seen in the wild?

really pretty tropical fish

76. what’s the funniest tv show you’ve ever seen?

idk. i rly like schitts creek its pretty amusing

77. do you usually follow your heart or your head?

heart at first but my head if things get bad

78. what is your favorite quote?

"i have a splitting headache and i think i'm dying. how are you?"

or a character just saying "try harder" when another failed to do smth.

this is supposed to be deep or whatever but im in a Mood

79. what’s the weirdest crush you have ever had?

once had a crush on a character in a minecraft parody lmao

80. what’s your love language?

sending shit that makes me think of them. n just. making tons of stuff for them both online and irl like bracelets.

81. do you ever feel alone?

oh yeah. all the time. im not but it feels like i am which sucks

82. ever been bullied?

yeah

83. are you usually early or late?

late bc of my parents rip

84. what kind of art do you enjoy most?

drawing, or writing. also theater.

85. what do you wish you knew more about?

i just wish i could remember everything ive learned more about. i know a lot i just forget all.

id like to know more about forensics tho

#asks #long post #friends

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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years ago

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not to play devil's advocate bc fuck that anon, but i don't think they were bitching about the destiel scene per se so much for the context of it, and the big romantic implication that we were waiting for was just a throwaway sex joke from a demon that we've heard the likes of so many times and it.. doesn't really move their relationship anywhere. i hope you understand.

Yeah, I do, when you’re not aggressive about it (thanks

I just feel like that anon’s aggressiveness was entirely about the sense of being promised an entire scene and then lashing out and blaming me/the fandom/the show?? for promising them something huge and taking their generalised disappointment/overall anger at the show and bundling it all into using this as the scapegoat for their anger. If they had just taken a mo to read those tweets again it came across fairly clearly to me that it was a single line and also one that was in the category of whoops and cheers and laughter from Jensen rather than “awww”s and other less bawdy reactions. The thing is that those spoilers weren’t hyping it up as anything more than what it was, and knowing now full well that it was a single line, re-read those tweets and it’s very clear that they were reporting faithfully on the moment while trying not to spoil it. Especially all 4 together in that post, which was the most popular I saw circulating, and I feel like anon in particular seemed to have been waiting for an entire scene and somewhere or other got very hyped up for something that no one had promised them from any of these 1st hand reports. Seeing the tweets again reminded me I had the anon in my inbox and I got pretty pissed off that they got so annoyed about it when I was taking another look at the spoilers with all the context… I just, like, really hate speculation and spinning enormous narratives like gold out of straw.

I didn’t really talk about the moment itself, but, yeah. It isn’t anything new - Dabb has even written 3 years ago an almost identical scene with the angels taunting Cas with the implication he and Dean are boning, but this one made the connection absolutely clear for the audience, with no leaps whatsoever to connect what he was saying to Destiel, vs it being Dean’s phonecall that set that angel to threatening to cut off Cas’s junk. And we’ve gone a pretty long time since that level of taunting. I’ve always liked that 7x23 was the last time we got a “he’s your boyfriend” for a pretty hefty stretch of Carver era… I’m actually struggling to remember if there ARE any direct implications in seasons 8 or 9, and then in 10 we get the “Deastiel” moment in 10x05, and the deleted boyfriends argument in 10x14, and overall Carver era is extremely low on these implications and ‘jokes’ compared to Gamble era. I DO think the direct implications without any actual representation or canon sucks especially because these heap up and up and up in the ongoing annuals of Dean n Cas implications which are starting their 10th full year now. Like, interesting as they are on a meta level and for rolling along with the story having fun etc, cumulatively they suck when that’s as visible as it gets.

I do think, though, that in general this line would have been treated with a lot more fun if it hadn’t been spoiled at all because even sensible people like yourself can build up an expectation that the line might not be another one of these, just out of hoping for the best/giving the show the benefit of the doubt. Like actually maybe it could be someone calling Cas on his feelings (like 13x04 and the Empty accusing him of having some secret love, which was profound rather than teasing and a whole other category of this stuff minus the whole har har it’s funny that you might be gay together thing which for me hands an enormous amount of leeway to the snide comments from bad guys as it creates the weight to the relationship which makes it more than something spun from nothing but needling from villains who think its a joke, whether they seem to believe it or not). So I do get the hope that you can build up that it might have been something else, even against the spoiler than Jensen absolutely cracked up at it (which to me, knowing how he laughs at these things in general, was really the thing that made me guess it was going to be pretty much what we got but I know I apply a lot of lowest possible expectations to thinks just to protect myself).

Being bitter and cynical about it without proper mental upkeep in the direction of positivity can be really wearing. *I* can be cynical because I don’t mean it as wank and I know I still love the show etc etc so I’m prepared for the event without it coming across as disappointment… But that’s a strong mental wall I made and I know not everyone wants to/can/thinks we should have to do that. I sort of feel ALL media can be disappointing or not what you were after and basically only stuff you make yourself and a rare few creators will scratch the exact thing you want without issues. So I don’t feel it’s weird to allow SPN leeway to do sucky things so much as it’s the thing I’m most invested in so I have to be a lot more clear about them, while if other media lets me down in some way I am way more casual and roll with it easier to start with. And with SPN being heavily invested for so long, I’ve weathered SO MUCH outrage over these things and worse and less that something like this is very easy for me to soak with my mental armour and take on the chin and see it for what it is in the first place and so on without having particularly bitter thoughts when I immediately divine what type of line it will be from the spoilers. It’s not a “oh it will probably be garbage gay teasing” it a much more gentle reaction, knowing that I’ve already watched this far knowing the show does it so one more instance is just another for the record books.

I mean there’s a feeling of collecting the show’s sins and weighing its heart when all is said and done in the future when the show ends. But that’s extremely morbid so I don’t linger on that part of this sort of disassociative permissiveness to the show’s nonsense :P

Anyways. It’s good to be excited about the show but when it comes specifically to wild destiel spoilers I do think this fandom seriously needs an overall better filter to decide what will truly happen, and there’s no one person to blame, it’s a mindset and we very easily get carried away, and I’ve had to learn the hard way that I need to set myself as a rock in that river and let it wash past me. And not make hard lines of saying not to get enthusiastic for ANYTHING because oftentimes spoilers about Dean n Cas working together or chilling together DO turn out to be really good and in no way should we approach the episodes like we’re going to be attacked, because that’s where bitter stan fandom factions come from. It’s so complicated, and I really was trying not to say anything about it but then I got frustrated and it’s hard to be completely perfect about keeping quiet on annoyances… :P

I don’t know what the tl:dr is here.. I don’t blame people for getting excited, for sure. But maybe just for lashing out at others when they don’t get what they want and are really incautious. The original anon conjured a whole scene up they wanted, not just a line, and that to me is the perfect example of fandom spinning straw into gold with hype, and something I really can’t stand and at that point I start to say there IS a personal blame/responsibility. Peeps who weren’t THAT irrationally expectant and then proportionately furious after are cool and I wasn’t blaming anyone else >.>

#Asks #14x01 #wank for ts #riverboat gambling

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glubbity-moved · 6 years ago

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omg glub what did u do to the sag girl

oh my GOD i could literally rant about her for hours so drama storytime under the cut!

when i joined art last year as a freshman, i was extremely self concious and compared myself to other people way too much. i was trying to start fresh and reinvent myself because i was tired of being cowardly.

i was in intro to art bc that’s the only art class lowerclassmen can take, so most ppl were just in intro bc they need to get an art credit to graduate. the class had a GIANT divide between the types of people in the class and there were only like. ten kids who actually liked art and took it seriously.

so, to not be looped in with everyone else and wanting to stand out, i sat with the most Talented Artistic Girls in the class. there were three girls: one senior who was a cancer (bitch), one virgo who was actually pretty nice, and the sag girl. we immediately became the Power Table that my teacher would always come to as an example to the class! i felt so powerful and felt like i had friends for the first time in a while.

in my class, my teacher assigned us a medium to work with and a project to complete by a certain deadline. the art girls always finished before everyone else and would tease when i wanted to take my time and make something i was proud of and called me untalented because i wasn’t finishing at the same time as them. it REALLY discouraged me from doing my best and my work quality started to slip slightly as a result

the main perpetrator of the bullying came from the sag girl. she literally thought she was the Standard of the class because my art teacher always praised her for finishing and her art skills. she would send really passive agressive comments my way and erase and “Fix” parts of my art that she thought weren’t good.

the other two girls either said nothing or joined in on the harassment, the cancer girl would always try to convince me to work faster or “harder” because she thought my art sucked and i wasn’t trying hard enough

they verbally abused me enough to where i went home almost everyday and stayed up until two in the morning trying DESPERATELY to improve in my art (you can see in my blog activity from last year where i really dropped off in quality) and stopped posting art here because i was suffering from severe self doubt and HATED my art.

i was literally so dumb for listening to them, but i couldn’t leave their table unless i wanted to be grouped in with the ppl who just wanted the art credit again.

so i started to put out ABSOLUTELY AWFUL PIECES where i wasn’t trying at because i wanted to be “Good and Fast” at producing art instead of learning.

while all this was going on, i always talked about astrology to the cancer senior since she was kinda into it. sag girl HATES astrology and thought it was made up and an “Excuse to hate people” WHICH IT’S NOT LOL

so the cancer girl and i got on the topic of sagittarius, and i said something like “yeah all the sags i’ve met have been real jerks to me i don’t like them that much” and SAG GIRL STARED AT ME LIKE I HAD JUST CALLED HER OUT OR SOMETHING WHICH I DIDN’T?? i didn’t even say her name lol

so she gets really quiet for the whole period, which i took note of and stored away in my brain for later. i had /FINALLY/ found something to get back at her with: she’s insecure and just bullies other people to feel superior.

so. the fateful day comes along. febuary sixth. the cancer girl and sag girl are talking about something. the period had just started. i had one of my headphones in and was listening to their conversation.

sag girl says something REALLY mean to cancer girl and i immediately take my headphones out. cancer girl looks really hurt so i stay quiet and they finish up their conversation.

very quietly, i put my headphones back in and turn to the cancer girl. i said something like “y’know, i love cancers. i know i’m a gemini and all, but at least i’m not a sagittarius.” (SO LAME I KNOW BUT I HAD TO THINK OF SMTH FAST) and the CANCER GIRLS EYES WIDEN LIKE SHE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT’S GOING TO GO DOWN

this whole time, i’m looking down at my paper doodling while sag girl is like “laci i thought we said no more astrology.” and the exact convo went like this:

“i know. just stating my opinion.”“laci, you’re literally making me Very mad right now Shut Up” “i hate sags they’re so m e a n”

THEN SHE FUCKING THROWS HER HANDS DOWN ON THE TABLE LIKE SHE’S RESTRAINING HERSELF FROM HITTING ME AND LAUNCHES HER PENCIL ACROSS THE ROOM

THE WHOLE CLASS IS DEAD SILENT AND I DON’T EVEN MAKE EYECONTACT WITH HER.... SHE GETS UP AND LEAVES WITHOUT TAKING ANY OF HER STUFF AND SITS OUTSIDE FOR THE WHOLE PERIOD BECAUSE SHE’S SO PISSED

the cancer girl and virgo are looking at me like i’m a fucking lunatic and i LITERALLY cannot believe what i just did like. i stood up for myself and Someone else for the first time EVER and i felt so WEIRD

my art teacher walks over and is like “you think she’s gonna be okay?” and we’re just like i think so????

the next day rolls by and i go into the class where sag girl is talking to virgo and cancer. when i walked in, she looked at me and immediately grabbed her stuff and walked out the door. I WAS LIKE LOL OKAY WE’RE GONNA PLAY THIS GAME THEN

AND AFTER THAT MOMENT I WAS JUST ANOTHER PERSON LIKE... i can understand if you want to talk about our differences, but just WALKING AWAY FROM YOUR PROBLEMS IS NOT SMTH I CAN GET BEHIND

i sit down and cancer and virgo are like “when are you going to apologize?” AND I WAS LIKE WAIT WHAT??????? HUH???????? APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT I DEFENDED YOUR ASSES

and they got SUPER pissed at me because sag girl is their Art Queen or whatever and glared at me and LEFT TO SIT OUTSIDE W/ HER!!! i DEFENDED THEM AND THEY LICHERALLY BETRAYED ME LIKE OKAY LOL?????

so i sit there Alone for the whole period and everyone’s staring at me like i’m a jackass but i KNOW i’m not!!

the next day, my scorpio friend comes to the art room to help me out with a project and sag girl happens to be outside and my friend overhears her making up lies about me “”””HARRASSING”””” HER??? AND MY ANGEL SCORPIO FRIEND IS LIKE “HEY DO YOU GUYS KNOW WHERE LACI IS” and sag girl SHUTS UP IMMEDIATELY BC SHE KNOWS SHE’S BEEN CAUGHT

SO MY SCORPIO FRIEND TELLS ME WHAT HAPPENED AND I’M LIKE OHHOHOOHO BITCH NOW I HAVE A WITNESS SHE’S DEAD!! and eventually my friend goes back to class and when she does, some kid comes in and is like “sag girl is crying outside”

AND I FELT BAD FOR A SECOND BUT THEN IT ALL CLICKED: SHE’S JUST CRYING BC SHE KNOWS SHE’S BEEN CAUGHT. SHE KNOWS I HAVE EVIDENCE AGAINST HER AND SHE’S PUTTING ON THE WATERWORKS

SO MY ART TEACHER TAKES ME OUTSIDE TO GO AND TALK IT OUT AND SAG GIRL IS SITTING ACROSS FROM ME LITERALLY MURDERING ME WITH HER EYES SHE’S SO PISSED

my art teacher was like “okay guys. let’s talk about this. sag girl, what do you have to say to laci?” and sag girl starts saying how i Hate her for “””no reason””” and starts cussing at me and bursts into tears again

AND KEEP IN MIND I HAVEN’T SAID A THING YET I’VE JUST SAT THERE AND LISTENED TO HER TALK FOR TEN SECONDS

SO MY ART TEACHER IS LIKE “fuck okay uhhh go to the counselor since you can’t be mature” AND I SWEAR I ALMOST MARRIED MY ART TEACHER SHE’S SUCH AN ANGEL

my art teacher escorted sag to the counselor and took me aside and was like “you don’t have to go with her, i believe in you fully and you’re not in trouble” AND I SWEARRR I HAVE NEVER FELT SO POWERFUL

from that day on, i vowed to always do my best on every single project i get in her class and not compare myself. my work drastically improved and my art was getting better!

now, i wasn’t done with sag girl. the official word the counselor had given to her was a “hands-off” policy, which means she can’t interact with me and i can’t interact with her for the rest of the year.

so. because i hadn’t fully enacted my revenge yet, i decided to go for the psychological tactic and indirectly get back at her

i overheard her badmouthing her counselor bc she wouldn’t let her into the advanced math class bc she didn’t meet the requirements. she was saying some REALLY NASTY STUFF ABOUT MURDERING HER AND STUFF...... so i recorded it secretly (i still have the vid on sc) and sent it to her counselor lol

she got placed in the standard math class and her counselor isn’t a fan of her anymore now!

i feel like she KNOWS i got her placed in a lower math class bc she looks so scared and mad everytime we make eyecontact so!

don’t mess w/ gemini girls we never forget and WILL get what we deserve. the end.

#it was spicy i love this song!!!!!!!!!#anon

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shatteredlovers · 6 years ago

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BABE ANSWER ALL OF THE QUESTIONSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I’m gonna fight u

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? u2. Are you outgoing or shy? shy3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? u... and my nj peeps at the end of the semester4. Are you easy to get along with? ye i think so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? u do lol6. What kind of people are you attracted to? u 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? yes (:8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? i’m wondering how my little brothers are making out in college!!9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? no10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? wendy, lexie, or dom I’m not sure11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “she’s just bein safe!!”12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? “Rivers and Roads” by The Head and the Heart, “Feels like Summer” by Childish Gambino, “Fallingwater” by Maggie Rogers, “Peach Scone” by Hobo Johnson, and I can’t think of another rn but I’m listening to “17″ by Youth Lagoon.13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? YES14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yeah15. What good thing happened this summer? I got to spend it with u making memories16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? hell yeah (;17. Do you think there is life on other planets? yes18. Do you still talk to your first crush? no19. Do you like bubble baths? yes!!20. Do you like your neighbors? i don’t know them /:21. What are you bad habits? i’m messy tbh22. Where would you like to travel? oh god everywhere, but i’d really like to meet my cousins in Scotland23. Do you have trust issues? I did but I feel good now24. Favorite part of your daily routine? putting my feet up at the end of the day to eat and watch New Girl or Big Mouth25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? maybe my teddies mostly bc they hurt my back lol26. What do you do when you wake up? i hit snooze about 6 times27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? nah i’m chill28. Who are you most comfortable around? wendy29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? all but one30. Do you ever want to get married? yes i do31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes!32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? rihanna and harry styles are prob my top33. Spell your name with your chin. sd jk,hg34. Do you play sports? What sports? i don’t anymore lol35. Would you rather live without TV or music? tv36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? that was my entire childhood-adolescence 37. What do you say during awkward silences? nothing, they don't bother me rly38. Describe your dream girl/guy? u wendy!!!!39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? i like thrift stores, h&m, target, honestly wherever40. What do you want to do after high school? I’m gonna be a music therapist41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? no42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? I’m probably either observing, spaced out, sleepy, or fuming.43. Do you smile at strangers? yeah44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ocean45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? there’s stuff i gotta do46. What are you paranoid about? figuring out internship stuff coming in the next year47. Have you ever been high? once48. Have you ever been drunk? plenty49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? no50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? gray51. Ever wished you were someone else? when i was like 12/13 i did a lot52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? i wish i was a little more organized53. Favourite makeup brand? thATS HARD54. Favourite store? barnes and noble55. Favourite blog? urs56. Favourite color? dark green57. Favourite food? eggplant parmesan 58. Last thing you ate? a lifesaver gummy that my client’s sister gave me!59. First thing you ate this morning? baby carrots60. Ever won a competition? For what? idk honestly lol i’ve won singing things61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no62. Been arrested? For what? no63. Ever been in love? i’m falling right now.64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? i was taken advantage of so it kind of blew65. Are you hungry right now? very66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i like you all equally!!!!67. Facebook or Twitter? neither68. Twitter or Tumblr? tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? no70. Names of your bestfriends? i have quite a few71. Craving something? What? u wendy i want to snug72. What colour are your towels? turquoise72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 173. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? sometimes but i usually hug wendy or my pillow74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? 1, I got rid of everything but a sloth that my friend got me when i got into my car accident75. Favourite animal? dogs and owls76. What colour is your underwear? i’m not wearing any lol77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate all the way78. Favourite ice cream flavor? chocolate fudge brownie ben and jerrys

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? gray-blue

80. What colour pants? gray81. Favourite tv show? i love the office, criminal minds, and new girl82. Favourite movie? When Harry Met Sally or Dead Poets Society83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? original84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? idk they’re different types of funny lol85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? idk86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? squirt87. First person you talked to today? lexie88. Last person you talked to today? my supervisor89. Name a person you hate? i don’t really hate anyone, i just distance myself from people that are toxic to my wellbeing.90. Name a person you love? I love you, Wendy.91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? nope!92. In a fight with someone? nope!93. How many sweatpants do you have? 3 pairs maybe94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? too many (i.e. not enough)95. Last movie you watched? Scarface96. Favourite actress? eh97. Favourite actor? eh98. Do you tan a lot? no99. Have any pets? I HAVE A BUNNY HERE IN AZ AND IN JERSEY I HAVE TWO DOGS AND A FISH AT MY PARENTS100. How are you feeling? p good 101. Do you type fast?decently fast if i don't think about it lol102. Do you regret anything from your past? not really103. Can you spell well? yes my grandpa made me spell all the time as a kid104. Do you miss anyone from your past? no105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yes they're my fave106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yeah107. Have you ever been on a horse? no108. What should you be doing? my session summaries and activity write-up for tomorrow109. Is something irritating you right now? i slammed my foot getting out of the car and idk if i super fucked something up bc its hurts rly bad110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yeah111. Do you have trust issues? i did but i’m ok now112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? probably wendy113. What was your childhood nickname? M&M114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yeah115. Do you play the Wii? i have before lol116. Are you listening to music right now? yes “let’s talk about feelings” by joywave117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? yes118. Do you like Chinese food? YES119. Favourite book? idk i rly like classics120. Are you afraid of the dark? partially121. Are you mean? i can be122. Is cheating ever okay? N O 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? no i suck124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no but you can click w someone125. Do you believe in true love? sure126. Are you currently bored? no127. What makes you happy? you, my friends, my family, animals, music128. Would you change your name? thought about changing it to my middle name129. What your zodiac sign? libra130. Do you like subway? eh jersey mikes is better131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? say thanks but i love wendy132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? i think i already answered this133. Favourite lyrics right now? idk134. Can you count to one million? no i lose focus easily135. Dumbest lie you ever told? idk lol136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed and often locked137. How tall are you? 5′2138. Curly or Straight hair? i have straight hair but i love curly hair139. Brunette or Blonde? i love brunette hair140. Summer or Winter? summer in jersey, winter in AZ141. Night or Day? night142. Favourite month? October143. Are you a vegetarian? not a chance144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? DARK CHOCOLATE145. Tea or Coffee? i like both146. Was today a good day? yeah it was my session went rly well w my client147. Mars or Snickers? snickers all the way148. What’s your favourite quote? “If flowers can grow through blankets of melting snow there is hope for me” - @tylerknott149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? i don’t have a book anywhere near me unfortunately lol

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amma-af · 4 years ago

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mid-life crisis fast approaching lmao.

bruh moesha made 30 seem hella old. im freaking 29, im definitely not old.

do all 30 year olds feel this? is this fucking cliche? is this what being a millenial feels like?

freaking. andell seems like she should be at least 45 shes had a business forever, she looks oldish, hella independent with ehr own moneey, yeah she keeps getting played by her lover but the d is probably great and she doesn’t need “love” bc she’s not dependent on it for basic necessities. but she needs love so she has hope. she’s woke but understanding when someone who doesn’t understand yet. she supports the kids but says it like it is. i can def see some bits of myself in her but bruh, at least 35? bc im 29 and 1 im not as independent, and 2, im def not as old.

but i also kind of get how shes a 30 year old but do 30 year olds get the respect of older people? does andell get respect from older people? idk man tv makes teens look like 20-something and 30 eyar olds look like my mom. dee hangs with andell, she’s def not 30. but then again we hang with older people, no?

are 30 year olds friends-ish with teens and like older folks all at once a millenial thing? i mean i def have older friends bc of work, and hang with my siblings who are a generation older and as a teacher i talk to kids who are teens but i wouldn’t be friends with them? unless you consider my nieces and nephews, and some much younger coworkers.

but if im “superior” to them in some way im basically a mentor and ugh. maybe andell is 30.

that same moesha episode has gotten me thinking about highschool. and what a fucking shitfest it was. i mean, why the hell was i so pressed instead of just being a fucking kid? like, i def ended up where i wanted to and realized it sucked even more (college), esp the way i did it initially, but once i got over the fucking ivory tower and american dream bc i reallized it was never made to include me to a certain extent (the whole identity crisis over foreclosure of identity from the every day--being unwanted by the same thing interpellating its allegiance to you, how all that crap felt of being a --insert almost every pressed identity grouping here-- at a fucking --insert ever agrandized fucking included, repressive identity force here--insitution. high school wasn’t bougie enough i think. like everyone was like closer to the ground class wise so maybe it didnt feel like a big enough ocean yet. a friend told me post highschool or maybe at graduation that im going to be the big fish in the little pond trying to swim in the ocean or some quote like that. fucking i was, if not socially which i honestly didnt even try and fucking got ostracized from anyway, def on top academically and fucking TEACHERS were trying to push me down but like i still got to exactly where i wanted to go. and i fucking had a wonderful time there. got kicked out but became a whole ass human being who found so many homes with people and so many loving arms and caring friends and fucking insane moments and memories and fucking became who i am today--a fucking cool as andell like adult with a full and complete social life if not financial or career life like im ok dude. ive accomplished enough even if capitalist might make me feel like i havent accomplished anything. much like the racist ass teachers made me feel and the racist ass kids made me feel about being smart in a fucking shitfest and where the other brown kids were just in competition with me. i had no friends. i lie, i had a few. and i had the respect of a few. and i guess that makes like maybe a dozen people--hold on let me count, i think 9 people, that im cool with from high school, 3 who are close to me, 1 who fucking hates me post-college life and would try to talk shit or ruin me maybe but i miss her and we were fucking close at some point. and then a bunch of people who probably dont give a shit no longer bc we’re all adults who need to move on with our lives. i hope theyre not petty and hate me just bc of high school.

i wonder if any respect me now lol. aside from those i know, do any of them like feel bad kind of for not being a better person to me? maybe i was a bitch too though. but thats only bc i was lowkey power hungry and just wanted to get into fucking the college of my dreams and had been fed that academic success led to fianncial success and overall joy de vivre or however oyu fucking spell it.

id still be down to be friends with whoever wants but dont have the time or energy to deal with the pettiness. i think this year was supposed to be our 10 yr reunion and idk if theyll do it bc of covid or not but fucking would i even wanna go? im still so traumatized from it idk if id wanna be judged that hard again.

fucking, i wish i was chiller back then. had realized i could be creative and look good and be more confident if i wanted to. but i guess i wouldnt be who i am had that shit not happened but i also suffer from extreme anxiety adn depression now so like maybe, people could ease up on the judgement and hatred and constant barriers and shit talking and like, lowkey bullying down a notch. these white and white washed brown kids had me fucked up.

i wish i had just like, been able to chill and be accepted a little more. but i wish the people who were chill with me couldve been more comfortable or confident in being who they were.

i remember ending freshman year, confident that i would have friends at the end of high school sitting between the coolest and queerest two people i could imagine showing off my hot pink ipod 3G or whatever. and then hanging out in the city with a few people on the last day. i dont even remember what we did. maybe olive garden in times square? it was def times square. the big toys r us in the city with the dance dance revolution. who the fuck were the people with us? was that even freshman year or is that a memory from some other time? i dotn fucking remember much of the good times in high school anymore. more shitty times.

but fucking, if people had been loyal would i have been a diff person? def s j and j and then later n but w during the first year and d all hugn out with me in college. and made freshman year bareable and some sitll continue to make life bareable and for me to feel loved in this day adn age adn i know the freindshipsare genuine now but i wonder if id have more people from high school as my friends just bc i fucking get attached to people bc of the whole empathy thing and like we knew eachother for good chunks of our lives, we should keep up with eachother and make sure we’re ok. but also like, did we even show care back then?

i wish id lived the teen life a little more though. like my husband did. like so many of my more normal than me feeling friends did but i wonder how many of my college friends actually liked their high school years lmao.

fucking. whatever. i probably wouldnt go to the reunion if it happened tho, fucking miss me with that shit.

andell is cool. she didnt get mad at moesha for missing her party since hs ehad a great time on her birthday thanks to her, and instead was proud that she put out a good newspaper. im def like, maybe if aliha missed my party id be happy and proud of her for her acocmplioshed but id still be pouty adn idk if that makes me much younger tahn andell or if thats just the whiny cancer gemini in me.

omg we need andells chart to udnerstand if she’s actually 30 lmao and just mature for her own age or if that show is trippig about depicting her as 30 bc shes def oldr. wonder how old the actress was.

thats an easy google fix but im just gonna keep watching and pondering lmao.

man there were some teachers at that fucking school who did not wanna see me succeed in life. and to have your advisor be that teacher really fucks with you. what a fucking bitch i think she hated me. the other people im friends with loved her tho but i think she was really just a racist. she pushed me hard but made things harder for me for no reason. thank god i got out of there in one piece, and with some confidence left in me.

i need to go to therapy again fuck.

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survivor-tierradelfuego · 4 years ago

Text

Ep. 10: “Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes!” - Cody

Amy A

Everything worked out PERFECTLY. Ugh I love a good plan. Hopefully my new core 4 plus Najwah stays in power.

Olivia A

WHAT THE HELL!! Grae was my closest ally this is so disappointing. On top of everything, Aimee didn’t even vote with us!! So we’re at a 6-4 disadvantage. I don’t think anyone wants to work with us. Our last hope is finding and buying the idols and utilizing Kalle’s fake idol. I hate this.

Pedro A

woke up on the bottom...and thinking i was going home...guess what...im still here ahahahhahahahahahahhhaahhah...yall though...kalle is my guardian angel ...like if it wasnt for that girlll i would be out

ben kessler

Wednesday, July 29th, immediately after the tribal grae got voted out: heheheheheheheheheheheheheheheheh

Aimee

I had a long day and now Grae is gone. I’m honestly crying. Jay asked if I was okay and the river of tears just started flowing. I only knew Grae for a short while and really wanted to get to know them more. They brought such a beautiful, fun and loving energy to this game. Grae, I really am going to miss you. I’m just gonna go hug a stuff animal.

Maddison

I knew Pedro was going to play an idol. He didn’t do one single puzzle, it’s obvious he felt safe. Snakes are slithering.

Kalle N.

I truly cannot believe that our plan worked but it did and my splitting headache is totally worth it. I really feel like I deserve an Emmy or an Oscar for my performance with Maddison and Olivia after tribal but it's fine. I have absolutely no idea what comes next but boi will it be messy. I'm so sorry it had to be Grae but I didn't know what else to do. Also I hate that I'm working with Ben but don't worry I will use my chaotic energy to go against him eventually. I will now be erasing myself from the narrative and taking a break for several hours. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Najwah

OK last night's tribal was wiiiiiiild af. I think the funniest part is that this all started with me planting a seed. I told Amy L that she is at the bottom of their alliance and that I was open to working with her to get Maddison out. She spilled all the tea about Maddison having two idols and that she's been wanting to gether out for a while bc she says the same thing to everyone lmao. I think the thing that pissed Amy off is that she told her "I feel closest to you" anyway, Amy didn't respond to me immediately so I thought she wasn't on board at first so I told Cody I'd work with him and that I have the idol from Alan. Ffs. Wrong move. Cody just trust other people wit information and it's really annoying. While I love Sarah, I can't really trust her bc she's really close to Ben and Aimee - who I do not trust. Well, Aimee I am not sure about. I guess I only don't trust her because of her close Ness to Ben and Ben blatantly lies. Anyway. So Amy told me that their alliance is still trying to vote Pedro which is perfect for us coz we can still stay Hanúha strong. So at this point I realise I wouldn't have to play my super idol and Cody wouldn't have to play his extra vote. Anyway. Amy tells Kalle about the plan to get Maddison out. I send Amy a long ass message Pedro sent Zack that Zack sent me. She tells her group that Zack had sent it to her, to solidify their vote for Pedro. And then She, Kalle, Ben and Pedro form an alliance and they pull off one of the most epic blindsided. I mean, wow. Amy told me beforehand so I saw it coming and I told Cody about it too. Lmao but Ccody just can't be low key he wrote something about Maddison's two idols and he asked in the Old Hanúha group whether anyone had known about the plan lmao obviously Ben was like "no" and wtf. Ben's facial expressions at tribal was hilarious especially because I know he careful conducted this whole genius plan. I mean people still think their alliances are with their alliances and that no one has moles but there are so many layers right now and there are a few moles.

Cody just needs to shut up. Be like Ben who claims that everything he is doing is for James lmao but is in a secret alliance with the person that got James out lmao love it. I love that I can see through some of the BS right now. The only person that could fuck up my game is Cody atm but I am taking a leap of faith and trusting him. He needs to trust me too. I kept telling him to just trust the process last night and he kept freaking out. I think the realisation of Ben being a BSer got to him a bit. Also, he toldd Sarah that I spoke to Amy? Like I'm so fkn mad. Can he just shut up? Ugh that's my biggest problem right now. I LOVE CODY OMG WE SPEAK ON VIDEO CALL LIKE EVERY HOUR LMAO but I'm just scared that he is too trusting with certain people, especially at this point in the game. He also doesn't know how to be low key lmao which is kinda funny. Also, Pedro. Wev ebeen talking a lot. Pedro's friggin Greek they're speech and the vote with Grae that ended with "sorry not sorry" just. Lmao. I wish I watched this on TV. I'm sad that it happened via skype😂😂 also I am not sure how this VL confession thing works. Did I say the right things? Yall probably have all the tea already. I'm a little sad that Grae went home. She seemed genuinely nice but she was our only option because Olivia won immunity. Maddison also made us all uncomfortable coz she took the time to chat to none of the new people at merge. Like? Olivia and Grae made the effort. She just seems too safe. Too comfortable. She isn't even participating in this challenge. Is she THAT comfortable or just pissed? Who knows? Never keep to yourself like that. It makes people suspicious. Pedro does seem very smart and manipulative though and I will be weary of him. Let's go idol hunting then woohoo.

Najwah

Also I keep laughing at how ridiculously bad I am at answering questions at tribal. Omg. Embarrassing. I need like a few minutes to THINK. I always look back, and wonder why tf I said what I said. In retrospect, I'd answer last night's question with "don't we all feel like we are on the outs?" ugh. I'm so bad at it. I realise it makes me look dumb and perhaps that's not a bad thing. I don't mind looking dumb tbh. Lmao.

Cody A.

I haven’t done one of these written confessions in a while! Obviously things have been absolutely fish crazy. Idek what fish crazy means but it just came to me. And on the topic of fish... I’m pretty positive I called Maola a bunch of sharks at tribal council.

If it wasn’t for Naj last night, I would have been completely blonde sided by the vote. I had no idea what was going on, I thought the plan was to put votes on Pedro and Madison and one of them would go.

About 20 minutes before tribal naj called me and said she did not want me to feel left out of the events that were about to occur. She told me the real plan of Pedro and Madison both playing idols and Pedro casting the sole vote on Grae. Not going to lie I was scared shitless... I was so close to writing kalles name as a safety net for myself. What if Pedro would’ve cast the sole vote against me? At the very least it would’ve been a 1-1 tie between myself and kalle. I just didn’t want to be Denise’d out of this game.

Ultimately I trusted my gut which told me to just trust naj. If I had got fucked over last night, at least I would’ve went out trusting the right people. Naj also told me about a 4 person alliance between Amy, Pedro, Kalle, and BEN... My Ben!!! Smh. So moving forward I have to be very careful with the information I give and receive from Ben which sucks because I thought I could trust him more :/ Basically THANK THE LORDT FOR NAJ. Not all hero’s wear capes, some wear pajama pants and robes!

Kalle N.

So this entire time that I've worked with Ben, he always dictates our moves and every single thing I can or can't say to certain people. If I suggest something he immediately turns it down and will only do what he wants. Men are the worst. Anyways, a little bit ago after he told me what our next move is and didn't let me have any input, he suddenly said "Actually what do you want to do? You go ahead and tell me what you want". That is EXTREMELY sus and makes me think that he's just trying to make me feel better while he's secretly plotting against me. I could go along with it and just let him vote me out bc honestly I'm exhausted, or I could reveal all of the insanity that happened in the last vote to my other alliance and then expose him to his own tribe for working with me. Which would get him voted out. But that's a lot of work so I'm ngl I'm leaning towards just getting voted out myself

Aimee

I’m so glad I’m not actually on an island playing real life Survivor right now. I would constantly be in the ocean or somewhere in the bushes bawling my eyes out. And then coming back to camp like, “oh hey guys! No puffy face here, I promise! Yeah everything is peaches! Hanuha strong! Those red eyes are just from too much sun, I think I need to lay down in the shade” I’m not crying over Grae and how shitty I was to Maddison or anything, JayKay I totally am! I hate that I didn’t tell Maddison the votes were going her way. I’m not even sure why I didn’t. I’m so sorry Maddison, I really hope we can rebuild our connection and work together again. I just feel like barf and am exhausted. Trying to play this game with a full time job is tough. I hope I have the emotional fortitude to pick myself back up and put on a poker face. The last thing I need is anyone figuring out my tells and knowing what I am up to. I want to work with Ben and Maddison the most at this point. I hope I can make that work out.

Pedro A

I'm honestly scared...for the next tribal ...I feel like everyone is gonna go after me...cause apparently I'm the villan lol

Kalle N.

It's a little hard to focus on the game at the current moment bc an exciting/terrifying development may be occurring in my life in the next couple of days. I'm having a prolonged anxiety attack. We were going to try to take out Aimee so F's in the chat to pay respect. Don't know what I'll be doing. Need to go cry in the shower now.

Najwah

Sigh. It's been a very long day. I really played hard at this challenge, knowing I have a 15% DA. Do I think it's insane that someone came into the game when half the players had already been eliminated and over half the 24 hours had already passed only to NOT even try to eliminate the one person not in our alliance in there, then pretend it's all kumbaya and eliminate our alliance (who we said we won't eliminate, we made a pact?) one by one? I mean yeah it's damn insane. And not that I'm a sore loser or anything, but I wish she'd have been there when things were actually heated and when everyone else was putting in the hard work. This isn't endurance in my opinion. This is coming into a game late and reaping all the benefits. However, well done on her tactic. Love it honestly. I think she made good moves and knew when to strike and for that, of course I think she's a fkn Queen. Even though I felt as though I was so close to winning immunity, even though I tried really hard. At the end of the day, it's how you outwit and outlast your opponents. Next time I'll be sure to not read challenge rules at 4am and then try to actually understand the game properly and how I too, can make things easier for myself dammit coz I think i keep making everything so hard for myself in this game ugh. I just need one fucking WIN. Goodness I am playing so hard. Wow. Wow. Starting to wonder what panderosa is like lol must be fun. Anyway I need to sleep coz the sleep deprivation is making me feel sick af and making me paranoid about having corona.

Aimee

https://lovelyygifss.tumblr.com/post/618070044309700608/deserved-more-than-0-votesssss QUEEN SARAH!!!!!!! 👑 ♥️ This challenge proved to me so much that Sarah is in it for the long haul with me! I could tell she was never guessing for my word and I wasn’t trying hers. Team Casanova is once again coming up equal on all challenges and I love to see it! I can’t believe I got to have my Michele moment and come from behind after being hours behind in the challenge and eliminating the last three people in a row to kick down that damn puzzle! I am on such an adrenaline rush!!! After the low lows of last night this rollercoaster of game really proves you can get right back up and thrive! Haha it was so hard saying my word since I’m a pretty positive person and my word was “not.” Sarah and I never gave up in this challenge and we ended up being the last two remaining!!! I also really bonded with Najwah and Cody. That challenge was so much more than immunity it was also a great opportunity to bond with cast mates and I really capitalized on that. Even during this challenge I patched things up with Maddison too and it seems like we are back to trying to make things work with us. I feel like Grae would want that for both of us too. I went from crying my eyes out the night before to total redemption today. It was on my bucketlist to win an individual immunity and I did it on something I never knew I could win. I’m just so amped and trying to calm myself down. I’m just https://youtu.be/erG5rgNYSd Wheeler island in the sun The song I was listening to when I won immunity. 🎃🐻🌈🍑❤️💜🧡💛

Sarah

There have been so many things that have happened today... This morning Ben, Naj, and I gave Cody enough coins for him to hopefully get the idol. Cody showed me what was in the store and how there were two necklaces for $20 which was odd. He got one of the necklaces and we thought it was a real idol. Tbh we still don’t know if it’s a real idol. Cody sent a fake message to Ben and I showing that it was a “fake idol” (he got the message from Naj when she had found a fake idol). We thought it was real but when Cody found it it said “what seems to be an idol,” which makes me think someone planted a fake idol there and he did get a fake idol. I will send in more soon...

Najwah

I thought that making it to merge would be enough for me lol but somehow my goal is just to get further now. I'm at a crossroads though bc there is no one I really want to get out or back stab or whatever. Cody found a supposed idol yesterday. I told him just to tell Ben it's a fake idol and if Ben wanted to use the fake idol, he could give him my idol. Thing is, Cody is paranoid about it being a real idol or fake one that he found. I think he should just chill about it and it'll be fine. I just want Cody to be calm, I feel like without Zack's constant talking and scheming, the silence is getting to him a bit. But I quite like the silence. He thinks it means something is happening or people are plotting against him. I just think it means people are trying to sleep lol. I mean even if he was a target, he still has an idol. Ugh. Anyway it's actually a religious holiday for me today and tomorrow. So I will spend time with my husband and perhaps go to a fancy restaurant or something. I haven't felt fancy in so long and I realised everyone in this game has really seen gross, messy haired, late night Najwah lmao like I usually don't even let my friends see me this way

Najwah

It's silly trying to keep wondering who tf I can trust. I need to just go with my gut. There are a few people in the game I really like. Cody, Sarah, Amy, Pedro and Aimee. I don't know the rest and I don't trust Ben. I don't know what he's up to. He was supposed to be in some secret alliance with Kalle and Amy but he told Cody and I about them so what's really happening? Who knows? Also he keeps asking me what do I want to do who do I want out? Lmaoooooooooo.

Najwah

We had a lot of deep, crazy conversations yesterday and one of my favs were actually drooling over survivor players and realising how gay everyone is lmao. I love that. As someone who has struggled with my sexuality for most of my life, thinking I'm gay for a long time and then finding myself attracted to boys too was bizarre in the early 2000s. and being told being bisexual is a "phase" or "confusion" or that it was bc I went to an all girls school (shout out to Rhenish girls High), being in a space where everyone is really open and accepting of all this is amazing. I'm happy i live in a country where gay marriages have been legal since 2006 and ironically being trans or gay is not that big of a deal here as it is in countries way more progressive than ours. I still struggle with non binary pronouns but I am learning thanks to this game. I feel free just being who I am, whoever tf that is in this game. And for that I'm obviously very thankful. Today, I'm married to a man who appreciates my sexuality and is open to me exploring it even more. Its been a long journey and it makes me extremely happy seeing people in this game, so much younger than me and so much more sure of themselves. I'm happy that they will be spared a lot of pain and confusion. I love GenZ. I love that they just are who they are and there is no pretense. This Is so important and a luxury previous generations could only dream. Of.

Sarah

From two nights ago.... https://youtu.be/uebz8rVKNbg https://youtu.be/xQyiuiGeEpo

Olivia A

Our plan for this vote feels really ambitious but I think it’s gonna work. We’ll likely get the numbers back :)

Maddison

I’m going to have to use my advantage tonight to save my ass. Guess that’s what advantages are for, eh?

Ben Kessler

I am trying to vote kalle out. If it works, my name will be out there but it may pay off. Maddison and Olivia are definitely going for me which is fine. I need to tell Pedro 5 minutes before tribal to trust me.

Kalle N.

Maddison will use her advantage, Olivia will play my idol, the only votes that will count will be the votes we put on Cody. That's it that's the plan

Cody A.

https://youtu.be/PuZChTTJzzU

Pedro A

Okay so me olivia kalle and amy are voting cody...plus maddison will leave tribal......and olivia will play the idol kalle has....i swear if olivia votes for me...and i go HOMEEE....IM DONEE...i have a bad feeling about this tribal...im trusting the devil lol

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess

Maddison

I’m making a big move tonight and I’m not sure yet how it will pan out.

Olivia A

Kalle has been playing double agent this whole time and told everyone about the safety without power advantage grrr what a mess

Olivia A

Initially we were going to all (Maddison, Cody, Najwah, Sarah, Aimee, and I) vote Ben but we are going to switch it to Kalle because Aimee and Ben are kinda close and we want to keep Aimee as a number. I’m happy to see Kalle go after how much she has lied to Maddison and me.

Olivia A

I am SO nervous for this vote. Here is the whole plan: Maddison will play her safety without power advantage and I will play the (fake) idol that Kalle gave me. This is just so that Kalle doesn’t get tipped off that we know about her lies. Kalle believes Maddison, Amy, and I are voting for Cody and think that she is voting for him as well. In reality, Cody, Aimee, Sarah, Najwah, Amy, and I are voting for Ben. We suspect Ben, Kalle, and maybe Pedro are voting for me and expect it to work because of the fake idol that Kalle planted. I really hope this works because if people are lying then I’m definitely going home.

Ben Kessler

Dearest confessional, My life is out on the line. I am in a very vulnerable position right now and if I stay in the game tonight damage control must be done. There are many complicated plans and I work best under chaos, so these votes are hopefully good for my game overall. If kalle actually gives her idol to Olivia and we vote out kalle, maddison and Olivia and Amy will be pissed, but they do not have the numbers. I would need to do some more work to make sure I get the info that kalle is currently giving me, but it's not as bad as going farther with kalle and then losing later on. I now need to video call kalle goodbye.

#episodes

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