#it stops being ‘funny’ it’s too over the top

[keferon]

So the Mech AU is something and it's captured me too.

Set sometime after Prowl discovers Jazz is a pilot but before they go to Earth

———————————————————————

"Do they all look the same?"

Sat in a makeshift chair made from a tarp thrown over a spare tire, Jazz was in the middle of refueling from a small plastic baggie when Prowl broadly gestured to the inanimate body of his mech.

"The mechs? Naw, at least not the ones that last. I've had mine long enough that it's gotten all sorts of unique design changes and upgrades. There's no other mech that looks or moves just like mine."

The reassurance that Jazz's mech form was an individual creation was pleasing for some reason. Perhaps Prowl didn't like the idea of a dozen identical blank visors, the body of his friend replicated and filled with someone else.

"There's like. three or four classes of mech I think?" Jazz continued unaware of Prowl's secret anxiety.

"There's Rescue Class, those are the smallest, and they actually aren't built for fighting but for digging through rubble and cleaning up chunks of alien. Plus, sometimes those tentacle freaks have parasites that drop off when they die so the R-class kill 'em before they can become an invasive species."

"I thought you said they weren't designed for combat?"

Jazz finishes their fuel and shrugs.

"Its a war. Nobody gets out of fighting completely. Before I left I heard they were sticking a medic into- into fuckin' Vortex."

There were, many questions Prowl had concerning that last sentence. How desperate were the humans to be making their caregivers into soldiers? Why was this Vortex so infamous?

Why did Jazz sound angry at first, but by the time he got to saying "Vortex" the name came out as a rush of breath rather than a proper word?

What stopped him from pressing further on the topic was how Jazz seemed to shrink. And sink.

And stare at nothing at all.

It was so nauseatingly not Jazz that Prowl nudged the tire a bit and guided the conversation back to familiar territory.

"So what class are you?" Prowl said, while crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on them. It was, very off model posture for the Praxian, but without the ability to pick up EM fields, exaggerated body language seemed to be the best way to get through to his human.

On a hunch, Prowl lightly waved his door-wings as well. Jazz smiled at them, and at him and Prowl preened with a modest smile back.

"I happen, to-just-so-be-the-Top-of-my-class-a-thank-you-veeery-much!" Jazz said popping each syllable like a song, resting his chin on his knuckles to match Prowls gaze.

"In terms of mech?" He nodded in its direction.

"I'm Striker Class baby, we're the fastest, the most agile and in my personal opinion the the most effective fighters in the whole program."

"And you do not personally feel as though you are an outlier bringing up the average?"

Mouth agape in mock shock, Jazz placed a hand over his spark- Flesh? Flesh-spark? Prowl deleted the line of thought and focused on the performance.

“I assure you Prowler, there are plenty of other Striker class pilots out there that do good for our name. I mean, there’s Blur for one thing. The guys basically the poster child of the whole program. Ridiculously fast mech. There’s also Hot Rod. His mech had the funny little quirk of CONSTANTLY CATCHING ON FIRE, buuut he turned it from a bug into a feature and now that’s just his thing.”

“Just his thing?!”

“Yup.”

“Being on fire?”

Jazz sat up straighter and pointed a finger at Prowl, “Look. I don’t know the full story and I shouldn’t be the one to tell it either, but trust me when I tell you this guy earned it.”

Leaning back, Prowl processed the new layers of insanity humans would apparently subject themselves to before filing it under “Bizarre conversations with Jazz” in his processor and carrying on.

“So what’s your special quality?”

“Me? I’m freakishly good at syncing up with my mech. Like, Blur is faster, but I’m smoother. Like, like that really is me. It just, I dunno, feels right. Fits me.”

Jazz looked over to his mech for a long time. Frowning at the fuel packet in his hands and solemnly crushing it into a ball.

“In terms of mech?” Jazz looked looked over to Prowl, smile returning with ease.

“I think I might be the only one that’s built for the stars.”

Their conversation continued into the evening like a leisurely dance. Discussing Pool Time, the war, cultural differences , the quintessons, their homes, what remained of them, and all the people they know and once knew.

Prowl never brought up Vortex again, though perhaps he should have.

__________________________________________

"What," Prowl choked out, his voice more static than sound. "Is that?"

The sky was green. The quintessions were in chunks. A mech, matte black with a blank visor, caaaarved into the body of the last living invader. A blade that massive was too big to keep a clean cutting edge, so the mech made up for the lack of delicacy with brute force.

It. It wasn't killing the damn thing. It was vivisecting the aliens spinal column from its body, each rib snapping off with a supersonic POP that shook Ratchets hangar and barely carried over the fucking awful sound of the thing screaming in terror.

Prowl would have never thought a Quintession could be a Victim before that moment.

Spine and brain case finally extracted, the mech lifted its prize to its opening vi- mouth.

That is its mouth. It's head was the size of his entire chassis. Inside, a stranger. Over bright eyes, straining and shaking against restraints within to get a better look at what was being held up to him. The mech moved without any input, tilting its helm back and cracking the skull to fill its open maw with cerebral fluid.

A funnel cloud touched down in the distance.

"That.? Jazz said, leaning against Prowls good side. “Is Vortex.”

TH A T. IS VORTEX

Man……I think Cybertronians would consider themselves big and scary compared to primitive earth life. And then meet Vortex. And then see Vortex in their nightmares for the next five million business years

[ramblingautisticman]

Recently read All New Wolverine #6 and found out Gabby has kids.

And she named them Logan and Wade.

Our boys' legacy will live on forever. She admits that they are huge handfuls and Laura bassically says "what did you expect?"

And I can't stop thinking about how from the day Wade met Gabs, They were quote "Best friends" end quote.

Like this girl is somehow this mans daughter. "Oh because adoption?" Literally no. And this can be taken as "Wade acts childish" OR Iykyk-

Gabby is exactly how Logan would have behaved minus the truama and if he was raised/ accepted with the knowledge of his claws.

Our boy Logan fits with Wade so much because they are so similar it is unreal. So to see Wade so quick to help Gabby and support her through the craziest of ideas (COUGH "dont tell your sister" COUGH) Not because hes "her friend" but because he knows that Logan is stubborn ASF and if someone dosn't go with this little murder munchkin- someones gonna get hurt. And he'll be damned if its her.

This is actually so beautiful too because while they both can heal, you have "Im in pain 24/7 so this is nothing to me." and "I CAN'T feel pain so I need someone to make sure I dont push myself too far"

Everyone says how Laura is copy and paste of Logan (no duh, they were both extremely abused, experimented on, and were raised to be tough) but no one talks about how Gabby literally has Wade's batshit crazy smile. How Wade HANDS her matches and sits to watch the fire with her. How Wade doesn't tattle on her because he wants her to trust him, and he knows he won't let anything happen to her. How Wade GIVES her chloroform(!??) And tells her it would be irresponsible to NOT give her something to knock someone out if she feels introuble?

Logan can have Laura. He can argue with her all he wants. Wade and Gabs are gonna go play paintball and then get ice cream. WITH sprinkles.

This being said, I think Laura struggles to connect with Wade the same way Gabby does. I think Gabby doesn't struggle to connect with Logan, though, because of how instictivly paternal he is and the fact that he can see tiny innocent James inside Gabrielle.

They are all so over protective of Gabby and it makes me feel sorry for when she gets a boyfriend.... can you imagine trying to have a study date with a girl when both her father AND her sister is the fucking Wolverine? And on top of that her other papa is a phycopathic maniac that will infact throw you off a 10 story building if you make his little girl cry, scrape you off the concrete and throw you in a blender, bake you into a pie, and feed you to your parents...

IM SORRY SHE NAMES THEM WADE AND LOGAN!? THATS SO FUCKING ADORABLE!? MY HEART CANT TAKE IT! Also, no idea if they are in the comic or if it shows how they act, but headcannoning that Logan is the batshit crazy one this time and Wade is the more chilled one, purely because that is really funny in my head?

And Wade is like- so good with kids? Noone ever mentions it, but he really is. Yeah, okay, in his own insane Wade Way (that should be a trademark), but Deadpool 2 is literally him helping a kid because he sees this traumatised abused boy that he NEEDS to help. Someone no one else wants to give a chance, and here Wade is, literally taking him under his wing and protecting him every second.

I've seen some of the panels with him and Gabby (I need to actually read the comics but jesus, there are so many?), and he is so so adorable. The fact he just instantly (similar to Russel in the movie, not exactly the same obviously, but ya know) decides "this is my kid now. I will protect them with everything I can. No one will ever hurt them again." is just- so heartwarming and people don't appreciate it enough!!

I think the girls would definitely struggle to connect to Wade alot because I feel like Wade is ALWAYS the funny, happy dad? He wouldn't want his girls to see him hurt or upset or anything else, so he's always making jokes and bring dramatic, while Logan is the more serious one who you can talk to about anything.

Also, Wade being the overly supportive dad is so fitting. He's stood there filming Gabby just doing something EXTREMELY illegal like "you're doing great sweetie!" and after he is getting her any snack she wants to treat her for doing a good job.

[beelinx]

hi!! could you do leo dating an ares kid? 🫶🏻

leo valdez dating an ares kid hcs

a/n: i hope this is okay anon 😖 i actually had lots of fun with this it’s a rlly cute dynamic

First impression: Scared.

Honestly it’s not his fault, you and your siblings are usually so intimidating.

Even more so when a capture the flag game is going on.

You guys were on opposite teams, and happened to bump into each other at one point during the game.

You almost ripped his throat out and he almost burned your hair.

Love at first sight <3

Well, it might not have been the best first impression, but it somehow still wasn’t long before he fell for you.

He started seeing you around camp more and more, and after a while you even started to have casual conversations, too.

He got more comfortable with you as time went on, and started to see a side of you he really liked !

He noticed you were actually kind, you cared a lot about people around you, and you were actually really funny.

Also you’re smoking hot.

Win win!

Once you’re actually dating you would be an insane power couple.

With Leo’s smarts and fire power, and your insane battle, and multiple other, skills, you two could easily defeat *almost* anyone.

But going back to Ares kids being scary: He basically shits his pants when he first meets your siblings.

Well, he actually already knew most of them beforehand – he’d seen some of them around camp, and he has even made weapons for some of them.

Still though, they had zero mercy telling him exactly what they’d do to him if he dared to treat you badly.

Okay well now he’s scared again.

Whoever you don’t like, he doesn’t like either.

Do you hate that girl from the Demeter cabin? He hates her too.

That Hermes boy keeps bothering you? Yeah, he sucks and should drop dead immediately.

Okay, he might think you get a little bit too carried away with the death wishes, but he supports you and all your… strong feelings.

Also – if you have a rough relationship with your father, you best bet he now has beef with him, too.

Silently, though. He’s much too terrified of Ares to trash talk him publicly.

Leo easily thinks you’re just about one of the coolest people ever.

He swears up and down that whenever he sees you fight, he falls in love all over again.

You leave him awestruck tbh.

If you have a short temper, he would try his best to be patient with you, even if it’s sometimes hard for him, too.

He knows you can’t control it that well, therefore he tries to help you out a lot.

By treating you kindly, listening to you patiently, and also not pissing you off.

You obviously try your best for him, too.

In the end, you’re both really sweet and considerate to each other <3

He’d make anything you ask for !!

If you ever want any weapon of sorts then trust he has it covered, and then some.

He’d add little quirks that make them cooler, like rigging them with special effects.

Ask him for anything else, be it a random cup of coffee or a full-blown spaceship, and he’d try his best to do it for you.

Making you happy is what he loves most so he’d move whatever you want to the top of his priority list.

Seeing your happy face makes it all worth it <3

Of course, though, you smack his head when you realize he lost sleep just to complete this project for you.

Okay, well, he may not be able to work in his workshop at night without you watching over him like a hawk anymore, but you still squeezed hugged and kissed him when he first showed the final product to you, so…

He’s taking it as a win!

Also because he now has you spending even more time with him, and in his favorite place, too.

He really can’t stop winning, huh?

[wellzofyouth]

What are some of your unpopular comic opinions? Dc or otherwise

I'm gonna do milquetoast unpopular opinions because I don't wanna argue with anybody today

stop writing superbat so sanitized!!! I want Bruce to ruin Clark's life in the best way possible. But also make it cute! I want to feel the yearning and I feel like most art fails to reflect that. Like they'll make Clark a masculine Dom top and a r*pist and I'm just like okay. I want them to be pathetic together.

Also people who hate on superbat for being toxic are incredibly boring and uninteresting. Also I see this criticism a lot from *certain* people but Superbat isn't OOC. In fact see point 8* for my feelings on that

Also I would like more stories from Clark's perspective without him being evil 😇 give him sexual repression and survivors guilt too. I want more stories about him being an immigrant.

People who call Bruce abusive are so fucking annoying I'm sorry. Especially because I'm not a fan/don't read most of the shit they're pointing to but also because the standards of child abuse changed during history and comics reflect that. Like fucking get over yourselves he's not real. God forbid you bring up the writing of some of their faves....

People would complain about batfandom getting their characters wrong/clogging up the tags are just as annoying as people who do those things. Yall are just going to have to accept that Batman is THE most popular superhero in DC and that people are going to relate him to your character. For good reason too since he is in every comic basically. Just block or move on already. Literally mute the tag like I do. You're not oppressed for being a green lantern stan. Well maybe you are if you like Guy.

Garth should be in more adaptations and media wtf????? He's basically a khia

Teen titans and Yj cartoons are both different shades of mid. I don't like Starfire in TT at all :/ and Yj just blows. Teen titans is iconic though and I loved it as a kid.

Wally is unfunny. :/ no hate to him tho. I just don't find the way most writers write funny characters to be funny. Probably because they're all cishet white guys who take themselves too seriously.

Clois loves to watch real housewives together ❤️ I know this in my soul and I will not hear otherwise. Not even unpopular just a headcanon

OOC doesn't exist for comic characters. I used to believe otherwise but I am fully on the team of OOC doesn't exist. There is simply too much history for most of these characters to have one based solid characterization so I will never hate on fanon. People on here can be such pretentious little fucks when it comes to other fans. Like just mute or block bitch damn. They don't hurt anyone by saying Tim drinks coffee and plays fortnite

I dont like most canon straight ships sorry 😭 I'm not naming names but they're all boring as hell. That does not mean I hate all straight ships. I can only see some characters like Dick as straight unfortunately and I do like batcat and clois but the others are just so.... yaoi and yuri won this round. They're all gay people to me

But also I dislike most popular ships in this fandom in general. Yall are missing out some good ass yuri to pair up men with no chemistry. Come on 👎👎👎👎

Green Lanterns are all hot asf. Not even unpopular I think. Hal, Kyle, and Alan are easily the hottest DC men and it's not even close.

Idgaf about any comic post 2011 and barely anything post 2003