#it sounded interesting but i ended up in more analysis and proof-writing classes and just didn't have time

[pyroclastic727]

Luz is kinda right to be oblivious

I know you all are relentlessly teasing Luz for being completely oblivious to Amity’s clear romantic advances. And while you definitely have a point, Luz isn’t entirely wrong to do this. Luz’s assumption that her and Amity are just friends is her way of protecting herself and Amity.

Let’s start by laying out the scenario from Luz’s POV. You’re a human from another realm who visits a magic realm. There you meet a bunch of amazing people, but one lettuce-headed blushy mess sticks out to you. You start doing all these favors for her, things you would only do for Eda and King in the past. She returns a few of them. Then she starts getting comfortable around you, where she feels good enough to hug you and stuff. Well, then there’s this dance, and she doesn’t ask you out, and she feels bad because she’s afraid of being rejected by the person she does want to ask out. 

Well, duh, of course Amity likes her! But Luz has quite a few things to disprove that.

First off, we’ll start with the psychology that makes this possible. (This is what happens when the analysis blog takes a psych class). There’s this thing called confirmation bias, which I’d say a good proportion of you are familiar with. For those that aren’t: if you have a preconceived opinion, you’re more likely to look for things that support that, rather than those that disprove it. Everyone uses this all the time. Usually it’s fairly harmless, but when in the wrong hands, it is a powerful tool that can be used to influence elections and such.

In Luz’s case, her confirmation bias comes from good evidence. Any wlw who has actually lived on Earth knows that it’s dangerous to assume your friend likes you. First off, there’s the selfish aspect of it (you know, the “who am I to assume that I’m cool enough for someone to have a crush on me? You can’t control those things!”). Second, there’s the fact that straight girls on Earth can be very affectionate. One of my straight friends kissed me twice until I asked her to stop because I did not want to fall for her. In Luz’s mind, Amity could easily be one of those touchy straight girls. So of course she’s looking for evidence to stockpile and convince herself that Amity doesn’t like her like that.

And there sure is a lot of evidence to stockpile.

To start with, Luz doesn’t think she knows Amity that well. I mean, the girl has been to Luz’s house twice. They haven’t had a lot of time to spend together. And even their dates have been sporadic: Luz took her top student badge so Amity watched her get dissected, Luz and Amity fought to what should have been their death, Luz almost got Amity killed at the library, Luz almost got Amity’s friends killed at the Knee, Amity almost got Luz’s friend killed, and then they danced. That’s it. As for the rest of Amity’s life...that’s largely a mystery. Luz didn’t figure out that Amity’s parents are abusive until last episode! Amity was actively avoiding her on the first day (hiding out in the halls and such), so who knows what she was doing then? And she spends a lot of time with rich kids: what if one of them was her crush? There’s a lot of Amity’s life that Luz can leave up to her imagination.

Secondly, Amity has shown Luz explicit proof of liking non-girls. Particularly, Malingale the Soothsayer. While their gender was never confirmed, Malingale seems to be male or nonbinary. With Luz, this could be some extra proof of not liking girls.

Okay, well how has she not even noticed all of Amity’s blushing? She has. But here’s the thing about white people: we blush a lot. As a blush-prone white person myself, I will blush when I’m angry, when I’m humiliated, when it’s too hot, when I exercise, when I’m uncomfortable, when I’m insecure...the list goes on. From Luz’s point of view, Amity really has permanent redness. I mean, she’ll hold her breath when she’s angry and her face will go red. She could be always angry to be around Luz. And especially in the past two episodes, whenever she so much as looks at Luz, she blushes. With how red her face is, Luz could even think it’s how her face always is. Or, that it’s a skin condition she got recently. Yeah, a lot of that evidence is grasping for straws, but remember that Luz has confirmation bias working against her.

How about all those times that Amity did heroic things? Luz’s love language is literally acts of service, and Amity has done those several times. Like when she caged Luz because “you’ll only get hurt.” Or when she burst from the trees as the leaves formed a heart around her and T-posed in front of Luz. The truth behind that is that Amity is starting to pick up on how Luz shows affection and is reciprocating it in her attempts to be the type of person Luz can love. But there’s another interpretation, which Luz could easily be using. 

Luz was the one who started the acts of service. She was the one who decided to befriend the Amity, to burst in as Luzura and save her, to say she’s not actually a witch, to save her siblings, to learn an extra spell and be in Amity’s class, to go fix Willow’s memories...the list goes on. So for Amity to reciprocate that? Maybe she’s just making it up to Luz. Amity probably feels bad about all the times she has let Luz be the hero, and wants to make her feel better about it.

Amity has also shown Luz proof of liking another girl. Right before Grom was Understanding Willow, which was an episode about Amity reminiscing over her childhood crush and fixing the damage between them. Sounds like friends to enemies to lovers, the trope that She Ra showed us to be an emotional and rewarding trope. Since Luz is a fanfic type, she could totally be looking for that trope.

And besides, you saw Luz in Willow’s mind. She literally watched Amity and Willow hold hands, gaze into each other’s eyes, apologize, make up, and look like they were going to get married. Sure, Luz wanted to go in there and claim Amity, which is part of why she put her hand on Amity’s shoulder there. But she is big enough to know that when her crush likes someone else, she should back off and support it. She would rather see Amity happy than see Amity with her, if those happen to be mutually exclusive. Which she thinks they are.

Going off that, Amity’s last words before her fear was revealed were a bit suspicious. She said “I’m sorry.” Who the hell would apologize as she was saving her friend?

As audience members, Amity’s reasoning for this is clear to us. She did this because she thought Grom was going to out her in front of everyone. She thought Luz would see her crush and hate her for it. Which makes sense if you assume the point of view of Amity’s repressed self, where her only crush was literally removed by her parents, and proceeded to hate her for years afterwards. If Luz knew that a monster like Amity liked her, she would remember what happened to Willow and cut Amity off like she was a long hairstyle.

From Luz’s point of view, it’s much worse. Deep down, Luz knows that she likes Amity and wants Amity to like her back (although she might not have the words for it). And think about it: if Amity’s fear is romance-related and she’s apologizing to Luz for something, wouldn’t it be for not liking her? From Luz’s point of view, she has been pretty obvious about her crush. She literally risked her life countless times for her. She even faced her worst fear for Amity, even though Eda strongly cautioned her against it. And besides, it wouldn’t even occur to Luz to hate Amity for liking her. So Luz thinks Amity is apologizing because Amity knows that Luz likes her, and she knows that her crush will hurt Luz. That also explains why Luz didn’t recognize her own mudsona: she was looking for someone else’s face to be reflected in it, so she could maybe help Amity by being her wingman.

Also, Luz can’t even stay in the Boiling Isles. Let’s say that everything goes perfectly. Luz falls for Amity, Amity falls for Luz, they date, they kiss, they face the Emperor’s Coven together, they face whoever’s writing notes to Luz’s mom together, they call each other girlfriends...all that won’t last, because Luz has to go home. 

Luz knows this. She already knows that making attachments is bad. That’s why her mom is her worst fear: it means she loses her real mother figure Eda, her best friend King, her love interest Amity, and her friends Willow and Gus. So of course she wouldn’t want to fall in love! She’ll only end up breaking Amity’s heart, and breaking her own. She saw how Amity reacted to having to leave Willow. Do you really think she would do that to Amity?

So can you blame her for the pain in her voice when she said “that’s what friends do?” She knows that’s not what friends do. But she has to put up that wall or risk hurting everyone.

[marquis-de-all-the-knives]

ohhhhh gotcha. my sympathies

My brain isn’t done with Fort Galfridian yet, sorry. I got curious about stuff like how fast it would have to be rotating and how much the artificial gravity would vary between levels. Obviously we don’t have any solid numbers from the canon, but @thedreadvampy provided some conjectures in this post which I’ll be going off of for the sake of speculation. Specifically, we’ll assume the station has a diameter of 25 miles at its innermost level (i.e. Camelot-level).

If we want to have Earth-like gravity (9.8 m/s^2) at that level, what circular velocity do we need? I looked up the formula for centripetal acceleration in terms of velocity, which is actually nice and simple:

Don’t, uh… maybe don’t stick your hand out the window.

Seguir leyendo

[whitehotharlots]

A movement that cannot be criticized cannot achieve positive goals

The hardest part of talking about malignant trends on the broad left is that, well, you’re not allowed to talk about them. It’s no exaggeration to say that criticism has become fully conflated with violence. If you attempt to engage critically with a left-liberal writer--regardless of how thorough and respectful you may be, and regardless of how powerful, public, or insulated the subject of the criticism--you will be accused of dismissing and erasing the writer, of inciting violence against the writer, and of committing some form of genocide against whichever identity groups the writer belongs to.

Conversely, if you don’t provide specifics, you’ll be accused of making stuff up. The same people who claim it’s an act of aggression to ask for proof when they make claims of victimization turn into immense pedants the moment they encounter a heterodox opinion. 

Unsurprisingly, a discourse milieu in which critical analysis is forbidden is a prime breeding ground for unsustainable (and even horrific) behavioral standards. Never mind improving the world that exists outside their sphere of influence... these people are perpetually on the brink of destroying their allies, their institutions, and themselves.

Today I dug into an especially profane case that highlights both of these points. It’s a matter of public record, so I hopefully won’t get accused of “doxing” anyone for discussing it. It’s also the sort of story where if someone cares about it, they’ll have an opinion of it within a second or two of reading a headline describing what happened. This means it’ll only be of interest to the sort of cranks who read this blog. My goal here isn’t to express outrage or advocate for one side or other--although it is outrageous, and you won’t have to try too hard to see which side I favor. Instead, I’m going to try to move beyond that, to use this instance as a broader cautionary tale in regards to the more horrific tendencies of the identitarian left, and to begin formulating some means of resistance. 

In other words, this might get boring. Even more so than usual. 

The story involves a court case, documented here, in which a young man named Kieran Bhattacharya is suing the University of Virginia Medical School. Mr. Bhattacharya (a white supremacist name if I’ve ever heard one) was subjected to formal censure, repeated psychological evaluations, suspension, and eventual expulsion. This all happened because he raised some concerns after a White Fragility-inspired panel on microaggressions.

This is one of those cases where both sides are going to assume there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface and, like I said, are going to be disinclined toward actually reading the available evidence. Thankfully, the court brief is fairly exhaustive and--importantly--the account provided in the brief has received the approval of both plaintiff and defendant. To stress, everyone involved in this case agrees, legally, that the account provided herein is an accurate picture of what happened. Additionally, we also have audio of the initial microaggression seminar (Mr. Bhattacharya’s comments start at around the 28:30 mark), as well as of the pursuant committee meeting that ended in his expulsion. 

Here is the initial exchange, as documented by the brief:

Bhattacharya: Hello. Thank you for your presentation. I had a few questions just to clarify your definition of microaggressions. Is it a requirement, to be a victim of microaggression, that you are a member of a marginalized group? 

Adams: Very good question. And no. And no— 

Bhattacharya: But in the definition, it just said you have to be a member of a marginalized group—in the definition you just provided in the last slide. So that’s contradictory. 

Adams: What I had there is kind of the generalized definition. In fact, I extend it beyond that. As you see, I extend it to any marginalized group, and sometimes it’s not a marginalized group. There are examples that you would think maybe not fit, such as body size, height, [or] weight. And if that is how you would like to see me expand it, yes, indeed, that’s how I do. 

Bhattacharya: Yeah, follow-up question. Exactly how do you define marginalized and who is a marginalized group? Where does that go? I mean, it seems extremely nonspecific.

 Adams: And—that’s intentional. That’s intentional to make it more nonspecific . . . . 

After the initial exchange, Bhattacharya challenged Adams’s definition of microaggression. He argued against the notion that “the person who is receiving the microaggressions somehow knows the intention of the person who made it,” and he expressed concern that “a microaggression is entirely dependent on how the person who’s receiving it is reacting.” Id. He continued his critique of Adams’s work, saying, “The evidence that you provided—and you said you’ve studied this for years—which is just one anecdotal case—I mean do you have, did you study anything else about microaggressions that you know in the last few years?” Id. After Adams responded to Bhattacharya’s third question, he asked an additional series of questions: “So, again, what is the basis for which you’re going to tell someone that they’ve committed a microaggression? . . . Where are you getting this basis from? How are you studying this, and collecting evidence on this, and making presentations on it?”

You can listen to the audio if you like. There’s nothing there, in my opinion, that is not captured accurately in the written description. Bhattacharya does not yell or raise his voice. He sounds skeptical, but in no way violent or threatening. Nor does Adams, the presenter, signal that she is experiencing anything that approaches fear or trauma. 

Immediately after the event, a professor who helped organize the discussion filed a “Professionalism Concern Card”--a cute academic euphemism for a disciplinary write up--against Bhattacharya, alleging he had displayed a troubling lack of respect for differences (the irony here probably does not need to be explicated).

Soon after that--literally still the same day of the panel--Bhattacharya received an email from faculty asking him to “share his thoughts” so as to help him “understand and be able to cope with unintended consequences of conversations.” The tone of the email is polite and professional, but the text hints toward an attempt at entrapment. You’ll see this a lot in woke spaces--invitations to come to an understanding with one another that are, in actuality, attempts to get a person to say something cancellable.

Bhattacharya took the bait, and, well… 

During Bhattacharya and Peterson’s one-hour meeting, Peterson “barely mentioned” Bhattacharya’s questions and comments at the panel discussion. Dkt. 33 ¶ 73. Instead, Peterson attempted to determine Bhattacharya’s “views on various social and political issues—including sexual assault, affirmative action, and the election of President Trump.” 

At this point, the kid was fucked. He soon after had an uneventful-seeming meeting with a dean. Two weeks after that, a separate panel found him guilty of “patterns of unprofessional behavior and egregious violations of professionalism” and strongly encouraged him to seek psychological counseling. 

Pre-Trump, Bhattacharya still probably would have been fine if he had just kept his head down, gone to a couple therapy sessions, and maybe issued an empty apology. Since 2016, however, the rules have changed. An accusation is now absolute proof of guilt and no amount of ablution can save someone in a vulnerable position. 

Eleven days after receiving the ostensible suggestion that he receive counseling, Bhattacharya was informed that he would not be permitted to return to classes until he had been evaluated. A day after that--before even having the opportunity to seek the mandated counseling--he was given a mere 3 hours notice before having to attend another disciplinary committee meeting. 

This meeting found that Bhattacharya’s continuing behaviors were proof that he posed an imminent danger to the campus community, although the committee did not bother to explain what those behaviors entailed. His behavior was simply noted as “unusual” and this was proof that “Any patient that walked into the room with [Bhattacharya] would be scared.” The following day, Bhattacharya was forcibly removed from campus and told he could not return until he had been screened. He was, subsequently, not allowed to receive sanctioned screening, because of his status of having been removed from campus after being deemed a security risk.

Again, none of what I have described is an exaggeration. None of these details are even being contested. 

Now for my own conjecture: the problem isn’t that anyone genuinely believes Bhattacharya poses a threat to anyone’s safety. The problem is that he attempted to question the ideological firmaments of contemporary anti-racist training. These firmaments are protected with aggressive viciousness precisely because they cannot withstand scrutiny. Had Bhattacharya merely scoffed at them, or even if he had been outright condescending and dismissive, he probably would not have received such a severe punishment. The problem was that he was right, and his accusers knew it.

Understanding speech in the manner prescribed by the peddlers of microaggression theory cannot possibly be codified in a way that won't result in arbitrary punishment. Bhattacharya’s experience demonstrates that with horrific irony. 

The assertion here is that the intention of a speech act should have no bearing on how we adjudicate the morality of that speech act--such a point was made repeatedly in the initial discussion, and stressed once again after Bhattacharya’s concerns have been raised. This standard contradicts how we've processed the morality of speech for centuries, but that's what people are very explicitly demanding.

How is this workable, when literally any statement could, conceivably, be considered offensive by at least one individual? This, I feel, was the point Bhattacharya reaching toward. If you were to say, I dunno, "I love trees" to a group of 1000 people, 999 of them could regard that statement as benign. But what if one person takes offense to it? What if they work in the lumber industry, or they were molested by guy in a Smokey the Bear costume? What if that person then files a report accusing the tree lover of offensive speech? Will the speaker be disciplined? Or will the powers that be take intention and effect into account?

Of course, we're not going to criminalize all speech in this way. Like all extreme and broad-reaching disciplinary standards, this one will only be selectively evoked in order to punish people with heterodox opinions and/or those whose presence threatens the status quo. Someone who says something much more incendiary, like "all men are rapists" or "white people shouldn't get social security" would not receive a reprimand regardless of how much offense their statements caused, because they're saying something that's acceptable in our current milieu. And right now, the least acceptable speech is that which shines a light on the manifest flaws and hypocrisies of corporate anti racism. 

Back to my hypothetical example, if the tree-loving speaker was on good terms with everyone, the complaint would most likely be ignored. But if he had said or done other things that for whatever reason displeased the people in charge, the specious accusation could still ruin him. What's worse, the person who filed the allegation of offense might not have even actually taken offense at the statement--they were just looking for a way to get rid of him.

Bhattacharya was attempting to voice legitimate criticisms about a political movement whose suggestions are functionally unworkable and that, even if it were implemented fully and uncritically, does not contain even a hypothetical explanation in regards to how its goals would result in improved racial equality/equity. Because of that, he was cynically labeled dangerous and expelled from a public university. 

You'd think a group that obsesses over power differentials and their own marginalization would have some grasp of this. Regardless of which side you fall into with this particular culture war, it should fucking terrify you that a movement that’s been tasked with addressing pressing social problems is designed in such a way that any substantial criticism is met with aggressive punishment. 

There’s no way you can win if this is you is how conduct yourself. This is why we’re losing. This is why even if you get all the censorship and deplatforming you can ever dream of, even if every major bank and multinational corporatation professes fealty to your movement, you will still lose. Because there’s no way you can win. 

[jamesmartin30-blog]

What Is Academic Writing And Why Is It Important?

Academic writing is becoming an extremely essential aspect of schooling as parents and teachers understand the importance of analytical thought abilities and prepare students for college.

Nevertheless, many pupils, guardians, and even many teachers have no understanding of this field of learning and why it is so important.

As such, it is necessary in English not just to teach scholarly literature, but also to make people understand why it is crucial to produce insightful and competent students.

What Is Academic Writing?

First of all, what is scholarly writing? Some students see writing as something they only have to do as the instructor said so, so it's going to be a boring so time-consuming task. Our goal is to bring an end to this kind of thought.

Clearly stated, scholarly learning shows students how to compose essays. It seems pretty easy, but there's a lot more to it than that.

Writing essays is a means of expressing abstract concepts, feelings, or views. Writers learn to create a very complex statement or description by merging sentences into phrases and phrases of an article.

Why Should Students Learn Academic Writing? Because Writing Is Thinking

Learning how to compose powerful essays is essential not just to get a good grade or get to a decent school and you'll get a good career or something. It 's vital because, at the most basic point, it's about having your own ideas and then rendering them rational and real, first to yourself then to your readers.

It is when you take these ideas out of your head and crystallize them on paper or on a computer. They 're in a situation where you don't always have to accept them for what they really are, but other people will do so. When the theories are convincing and strong, such thoughts will become the thoughts of others. It's the crux of conversation.

In other terms, positive thoughts are equivalent to good prose. If the words are not straightforward or consistent or lack structure, they would be bad prose, and many do not appreciate or approve.

Many authors begin at a point where writing is not especially strong, but through learning writing skills, they learn how to be more better writers, which means they are better thinkers.

Practicing writing is about sharpening the thought method – the more you practice something and the better you do it, the more people can listen to you.

The other significant aspect about academic learning, of course, is that students really need it for college! This is a very realistic and simple educational talent, so if anyone is trying to be a professional student, they ought to be at least a good writer so communicator.

Skills Academic Writing Develops

Academic writing is important, but what particular skills do students have? They 're:

Strong communication

Students who can compose a persuasive and coherent article will talk in a straightforward, organized and assured manner. Not only are these people able to compose well, but they can communicate and analyze with the same techniques.

Critical Thinking And Reasoning Skills

The willingness to switch from one thought to another and to grasp the relation sounds simple, but it is shocking how few people really learn this skill. Nevertheless, learning to compose shows students how to think. In other terms, writing introduces "structured learning" to students.

Throughout fact, teaching shows pupils how to evaluate, or what scholars term "serious thought." Students tend to think, "Does what I tell make sense? "And," Is that what I read true? ”. We learn to accept facts, to understand complexity and context, and eventually to build the capacity to make up their own minds about issues. We believe that's the whole point of schooling.

Understanding An Audience

When you're writing an article, you ought to consider how it's supposed to be, what it's supposed to be, whether it's required or what it's intended to be, and how to deliver it in the most persuasive or approachable way. Through practicing writing, students know how to talk of their audience as well as how best to meet them.

Language skills

Academic research is a composite of all such language capabilities. You ought to have a good grammar. You ought to use an advanced language. You need to be able to respond to and appreciate the orders, and you will need to be able to speak freely and pose questions and voice your views. Perhaps more significantly, you need a lot of training.

If the improvement of professional English skills is something you are seeking, there is no easier way than to study academic prose.

Research Skills, Because You Learn A Lot

Finally, writing shows students how to carry out work. The truth is, students do not know the answer to any of the queries they are asked to respond in writing. It means they're going to need to go find out. The sophisticated word of "going to find out" is "study."

Through conducting research, students learn to appreciate their writing concepts at a finer level than other would would imagine. When they write on a science, cultural or literary topic, they know from doing work not only what they need to get a decent score, but they do recognize that there is a great deal to know on nearly any topic.

Types Of Academic Writing

Okay, so we may accept that writing is necessary and useful, but then what do students will need to know directly in academic writing classes? There are several types of essays with specific reasons. Here's a short sampling of a couple of them:

Persuasive essays – seeking to convince people of your view on the topic

For example: “In Praise of Idleness” by Bertrand Russell

Expository essays – explaining a topic to an audience

For example: “I’m an environmental journalist, but I never write about overpopulation” from Vox.com

Narrative essays – to convey a story in an essay.

For example: “Shooting an Elephant” by George Orwell

Composite essays - Essays that inspire, justify, or reveal a tale

For example: “Politics and the English Language” by George Orwell

Compare and contrast essays – taking two subjects and analyzing their similarities and differences

For example: “Once More to the Lake” by E.B. White (this is also a narrative essay)

Cause and effect essays – Essays that describe whether something has occurred or the consequences of an occurrence or operation.

  For example: “The Adults in the Room” by Megan Greenwell

Analysis – not an essay sort, but a lot of essays seek to get readers to grasp the topic better.

For example: “A.A. Gill on Autobiography by Morrissey”

Research papers – typically convincing, expository or comparing and contrasting, while often involving quotes and analysis to justify the author's statements. 

Characteristics Of Academic Writing

Until we wrap up, it is necessary to consider the characteristics that characterize quality academic learning. For any piece they compose, both students and authors will look for such qualities for their writing.

Focused, clear, and logical

One of the very first things we 're telling writers is that they need to Stay On Point. As a matter of fact, we literally scream that phrase in class because it was so essential to the process of writing.

Writing needs to be about a specific subject and only about that scope. In addition, readers should be able to fully understand not just thoughts and phrases, but how they communicate to form a larger argument. In other words, academic writing needs to make sense of it.

Convincing and interesting

The concept may make sense to a person, but that doesn't imply they 're in agreement with it. Academic writing has to move beyond reasoning and still be compelling – audiences will come to believe that the speaker makes a valid argument.

In addition, scholarly writing should be engaging irrespective of the topic. Sure, academy may be boring, but it's the writer's task to make the subject fascinating and worth reading. Each of the essay references in the segment above are thought-provoking and persuasive, even though some of their concepts might be less than thrilling to all readers.

Based on evidence

Finally, scholarly writing must be real. Storytelling articles are never imaginary, but if they were, they would be short tales, which are a particular type of character.

Writers of scientific literature should give proof of their arguments and conclusions, and analytical reasoning must be focused on what is true and can be claimed honestly rather than speculation or mere fiction.

Academic writing is a must for teachers. It is necessary for practical reasons, as students will have to write an essay for tests such as TOEFL, IELTS, and SAT, college applications, and then so many once they reach college. After graduation, whatever their role is, they'll have letters, papers, interviews, and speeches to write. It's not just philosophy – academic writing skills make sure students are ready for their future.

However, scholarly writing is critical far beyond bottom line. Reading scholarly writing sharpens brains, shows students how to relate, and strengthens their analytical abilities and capacity to comprehend others. Publishing is talking around,

But every student needs to be a successful thinker.

Let the English aid them move in there.

[nnegan13]

I've read your tag about Fede never calling edo on incantava first date and I agree that it would have changed the whole plot!!!! God damn it the possibilities!!! Maybe you could write something about that? Please??

hi! sorry that I’m just getting to this. I honestly think it would’ve gone soooo differently and after you asked this I was like, ‘well that’s as much of a sign as any to write something for it’ so here’s a little blurb from the beginning of an AU one-shot that I’m not really sure I’ll get around to finishing. it’s kind of rough and not edited but! it’s what I’ve got for you lmao 

FRIDAY 15 MARCH 19:51FIUMINCINO 

“Not to be repetitive, or anything,” Eleonora says, sliding her eyes back over to Edoardo, hunched over his knees, and pursing her lips a little. “But, if you could apologize to Silvia, again…” she stops, lips curling into her mouth, watching the way his face falls open the moment she begins to speak, and regrets letting her tongue be so loose. She’s going to promise things she isn’t sure she can do. 

“For texting her again?” He sounds confused, but willing, and that’s the worst part. 

“I mean, maybe not apologize, but talk to her, at least.” She turns back to the waves lapping at the dock. “Explain that you’re not interested.” 

“But keep you out of it.” 

She nods. “Keep me out of it.” 

“Because you’re going to tell her, right?” 

She cuts her gaze over to him, frowning. “About what?” 

“About this.” He gestures between them and she clamps down on her heart to keep it from beating faster. 

“Why would I?” 

“It’s just as shitty to keep this from her as for me to use her,” he says, shrugging. “You want her to get over me? What better way than to tell her I’m interested in you?” 

Eleonora’s heart starts pounding. I’m interested in you. “Still different, I think.” 

“Whatever you say, Ele.” He hums a little, a bit of a laugh to his voice, and looks back out at the sea. Frowning, she grabs another cookie from the tin in her lap and tries not to be too furious when she bites into it. Damn him for making good points. Edoardo was much easier to hate when he was some nonsensical boy playing school-ground god. Now that she’s got a peek at the inner workings of his brain? 

Her distaste of him is at risk. 

She deflects from her own self: “You’ll talk to her, though?” 

“Want to make another deal, or something?” His smile is wry and her fingers clench around the cookie involuntarily. She frowns, mouth opening to say something rather angry and malicious, and watches a joking backtrack cross his face before she can speak again. “No, I’m kidding.” He nods and holds his hand out for the tin. “I’ll talk to her.” 

She slides it across the dock and tries not to focus on the graceful curve of his fingers as he goes about rummaging through the tin. “Good.” 

Looking up, he gives her a close-lipped grin, something she can tag as pleased, and the fact that he’s happy she’s happy with his agreement burrows into the back of her mind. What could that possibly mean?

She deflects from herself again, focusing on the superficial. “Speaking of deals, this one’s done, right?” 

That pleased expression doesn’t leave his face. “Are you not having the greatest time?” 

“He thinks himself a comedian.” 

Edoardo does chuckle a little at that and shrugs before letting sincerity slip onto his face, even if it’s marred by a hint of disappointment. Surprisingly, it’s similar to how he looked when he talked about his mom— “Once we’re done tonight, we’re done.” 

“And this never happened.” He gives her a pointed look, holding eye contact she somehow can’t break, until she relents. “Okay, to Silvia, maybe it happened. But you’re telling her, too.” 

He puts the lid back on the cookie tin, rubs his palms down his pants, and stands, tin in hand. “This never happened, but only once we go to this gelato place down the street.” 

She stares up at him, that tiny nest in her mind trying to figure out what, exactly, his game is, piecing together things he’s said tonight and all his texts while she was in England and everything they’ve ever said to one another since she ripped him to shreds in front of il baretto, and keeps circling back around to the pleased expression on his face from just a minute or two ago. Eleonora nods. “Fine.”

— 

TUESDAY 19 MARCH 13:37 SCHOOL

She sent the text earlier almost as soon as she saw them walk past her and the girls outside the school this morning, taking the moment in which Silvia started tittering with concern to follow her impulse and ask him to meet after classes were done. 

Now, standing in the middle of an empty classroom cordoned off for school remodeling, Eleonora might regret certain actions she’d taken. 

Edoardo shows up a few minutes after the bell rings, hand casually looped around the strap of his backpack like his fingers aren’t taped together, like his knuckles aren’t split a searing red, like his face isn’t various shades of purple. She swallows as he enters her space, just a step or two away. Her hand twitches at her side. 

He says, “What’s up?” and it drives her crazy. 

“Nothing, I just—” she lets her hand move so it doesn’t do something stupid, like touch his face, and gestures at his person, “—wanted to apologize.” 

His eyebrows furrow. “For what? As far as I can remember, you weren’t the one throwing the punches.” 

She bites her lip, tries not to think of the flicker of his eyes down and back up her face. Her heart pounds out of her chest and she folds her arms. “No, I know. I meant about Friday, your mom, I didn’t know.”

Silvia’s story about his mom’s illness combined with the proof of his terrible beating, bruises very fresh even two days later, set something off in her. His words from their date still have her on edge; as far as she knows, neither of them have talked to Silvia yet, but his frustratingly accurate analysis of the situation sits just under her skin and wants to come out in the form of sympathy for him. 

It’s only a little infuriating. 

“I wouldn’t have said those things if I had.” Her voice echoes loudly through the room despite her efforts to be quiet, and she doesn’t look away from him, even though she wants to, badly. “I’m sorry.” 

The corner of his mouth tugs up, reminiscent of his pleased expression from Friday, and adds itself to her collection of Edoardo-isms she has yet to understand. “Don’t worry about it.” A beat passes, he leans into the desk she’s propped against and, subsequently, more into her space, and now her heart is racing for different reasons. “Thank you, though.” 

“Mm.” She looks away, but not before catching how his expression turns teasing. What is she in for, now? 

“Maybe I should get beat up more often.” Eleonora narrows her eyes at her shoes. “That way, you’ll get all concerned and—”

“No.” She clicks her tongue against her teeth and glances at him. He’s kidding, again, like he was about the second deal; the fact that she can recognize that in his face, in his voice, is worrying. “Don’t joke about that.” 

He moves one last time and, now, their shoulders are pressed together; the fabric of her shirt rides up when he shrugs. “Okay.” 

Thinking about that one point of contact is a dangerous path, so she deflects. The reoccurrences are becoming almost as annoying as Edoardo. “Why were you even fighting, anyway?” 

“Ah,” he shrugs, looking mildly put out at the reminder. “Last week, I broke one of their noses for calling Emma Covitti a slut. It might’ve pissed them off a bit.” 

“A bit.” 

Apprehension shades his face when he meets her eyes again, traces the quirked line of her brow with his gaze, but she can’t find a speck of guilt. Eleonora prays her own face doesn’t heat at the intensity in his expression and wonders when it became so easy to read him, if it’s easy for him to read her in turn. “Is that judgement I hear?” 

“Violence begets violence.” 

“So, it’s my fault?” The interesting thing is that Edoardo doesn’t sound angry, just intrigued by her answer. 

“Maybe.” A muscle ticks in his jaw and she presses her lips together. “You could’ve just talked to him.” 

“I don’t think talking to him would’ve changed his mind.” 

“He probably would’ve been more willing to think about it without a broken nose, though.” He snorts, and that pisses her off a little. “What are you laughing at?” 

“I would’ve thought you’d be glad I broke his nose for what he called Emma,” he explains and his words slip right under her skin, again. 

Radio feminist. Killer lipstick. Defender of women. That’s Eleonora Sava in a nutshell. Edoardo might be right, but in this case? 

She looks at the blackboard. “This is different.” 

“Why? Hm? Because it’s me?” Yes. 

His tone is light but she can see an underlying hurt in his eyes when she turns back to him. She doesn’t like how sincere he always sounds and how it makes her head spin, so she changes the subject. “When are you going to talk to Silvia?” 

He tilts his chin, lips twitching a little. “When are you?” 

“This weekend.” She isn’t sure, actually, but it might be the best time to do it. Secluded in the mountains, with their friends around for comfort and logic, convenient places for Silvia to dump a body if it comes to murder. “We’re going to Federica’s for the break.” 

“When do you leave?” 

“Thursday.” 

“Okay,” Edoardo nods and half-smiles at her. “I’ll talk to her before then.” 

When she nods and that pleased expression returns to his face, she steps away from the desk. “Good. Uh, I’ve got to go.” 

“Okay.” She walks backwards toward the door, angling her head to the side a little as she watches him. He doesn’t make an effort, that she can see, to stop her from leaving and it only adds to her annoyance. And the fact that she’s annoyed about it also annoys her. “See you.” 

It’s open ended, not a promise, just a possibility, and Eleonora hates it a little even though it’s what she asked of him. Once we’re done tonight, we’re done. She waves, “See you,” and exits without a backward glance.

[crisisevil]

A brief tale of dead languages and resilient teachers - a pynch fic

summary: Latin professor and local idiot Ronan Lynch thinks he's being subtle by leaving romantic poetry in a dead language for science teacher and confused soul Adam Parrish to find. He's not.

notes: I am very much italian, so all of this was written the italian school system in mind, where latin classes are more likely than they have any right to be and every group of students stay in the same class at all hours. I literally wrote this in a madwoman rampage at 3 a.m. after a weird saturday night because of the funny and adorable idea Kayla (lynchniall) shared on the infamous and wonderful screeming discord chat. I hope you enjoy it, it's short and silly but I liked writing it a lot.

    The first time Adam saw Ronan Lynch, he hadn’t really struck him as the romantic, strongly passionate type. But he made for an unusual Latin teacher, for sure, with his buzz cut and loud mouth, lean and tall in a way that made him hard to miss and with deep inquisitive eyes even harder to forget. He mostly saw him talking with Gansey, out of all the other teachers, a pair that looked both absurd and impossibly close, like an invisible line made of history and dead emperors magically tied them together. Or maybe they were just college friends and he was still trying to adjust to the new school, to process the weird impression of being the odd one out that had accompanied him during his own high school years.

  So he just tried not to think about them. About Lynch, in particular, with his sharp smile and impossibly handsome face. It got a little harder, though, after the time he noticed the sharp edge of a tattoo peaking from the collar of his button up shirt and felt the strong need to see how far it went down his back.

It was also impossible not to hear him outside class, Adam found out, his voice deep and maybe slightly overexcited as he analysed verses with older students or even explained basic rules for the younger ones. That was the first actual thing he learned about Ronan Lynch: in a crowd of bored and irritable teachers, he was genuinely passionate about his job, in love with what he taught to the point Adam had often caught himself accidentally listening to his lessons from the hall, drawn in by the sheer enthusiasm the other put in every lecture. He liked that detail more than he was ready to admit and it was all downhill from there, with his mind all over the place every time their eyes met. Something that happened every often, with a scheduled appointment every tuesday and friday, when Lynch’s class ended and his began, one after the other, in the same room.

  Sometimes, as he shamefully marinated into his embarrassing adult crush, Adam seemed to notice something different about their brief exchanges, he other man’s gaze lingering on him a bit too much, his expression slightly changing. He immediately dismissed it as his brain playing tricks on him to help him cope with his feelings, since they barely spoke except some obligated courtesies or a brief and funny comment about this or that situation from time to time. Of course, nothing stopped him from actually trying to get to know him or even ask him out, but something about Lynch seemed just too cool and intimidating to leave space for someone like him, no matter how nice he sounded from outside the classroom door. Or maybe it wasn’t.

  It started a month after the beginning of the year. The first time he didn’t even thought about it, when he saw the words written in chalk over the black board.

  ille mi par esse deo videtur,

ille, si fas est, superare divos,

qui sedens adversus identidem te

spectat et audit

dulce ridentem, misero quod omnes

eripit sensus mihi*

  Poetry and literature were part of the scheduled program, Catullus was one of the first authors in every literature book, he had studied him too, back in school. It was nothing out of the ordinary, he thought he was probably analysing the poem, as the complicated geometry of circled and underline words easily suggested, so he didn’t try to link anything to the sly smile Lynch had showed him when they exchanged a quick greeting outside the classroom door.

Same was for the week after, or the one that followed: he was a passionate teacher, maybe that was his favourite author, it made sense.

It got weird after the fourth one, when he entered the class and Catullus’ words were there again, in the same elegant writing, no mark or translation. The words were simply there without a reason, barely a decoration.

  soles occidere et redire possunt:

nobis cum semel occidit breuis lux,

nox est perpetua una dormienda.

da mi basia mille, deinde centum,

dein mille altera, dein secunda centum,

deinde usque altera mille, deinde centu.**

  His Latin was a bit rusty, after all those years, but that was another obvious one. He couldn’t help letting out a nervous chuckle, before he went on with his lecture, a bit more distant than usual, distracted by the peculiar idea of Ronan Lynch writing about love and kisses on the same board that was sitting behind his back. It didn’t feel like a coincidence anymore, it never did again.

  Week after week, he kept finding quotes every time the other left. Sometimes there was just one verse, sometimes a whole poem, without any sign of analysis, like they had been written just for him. Lynch always smiled a different smile when they crossed path before he found them, like a mischievous child that had just gotten away with something.

Did he think Adam hadn’t notice? He was a science teacher, but that didn’t make him incapable of putting two and two together. Maybe he just thought he didn’t understand, which was actually comprehensible, since it had been a while since the last time he actually sat trough a Latin class. But Adam had a history as an extremely diligent student, he just couldn’t forget certain things.

  Still, he never said anything to his face, never mentioned it, the brief expression he showed him during those moments the only proof Ronan was even aware of what he was doing. Maybe he wasn’t meant to find out, he realized. Maybe the other just liked to dance around the idea of pursuing him, without the proper intention to make a move. But Adam wasn’t one to beg, so he didn’t either: that was a battle he intended to win.

  Then, one day, it was too much. He didn’t always recognized immediately the poem, but that was a different thing. Ronan couldn’t know it was his favourite one.

  huc est mens deducta tua, mea Lesbia, culpa

atque ita se officio perdidit ipsa suo***

  It was just a slap in the face. Too beautiful, too misused. He couldn’t ignore it.

He looked at the students, like the answer to that ridiculous situation had been written into their faces. Of course, they didn’t care, those were barely translation exercises for them.

So he gave up, excused himself for a moment and rushed trough the hall, to catch that mess of a Latin teacher before he could go elsewhere.

  “Lynch.” he called, panting after he’d ran through the entire floor and slightly pissed off.

Ronan didn’t flinch, perfectly sound under what he probably thought to be a linguistic armour.

  “Parrish.” he answered, his demeanor calm in a way that made him want to punch him. What a straight-faced fucker. He wasn’t even nervous anymore, just eager to get one step ahead of him.

Adam caught his breath for a moment, then showed him a cocky smile.

  “ut iam nec bene velle queat tibi, si optima fiās,/ nec dasistere amare, omnia si facias.****” he iterated perfectly. Again, he didn’t know many poems by memory, that was just an unfortunate coincidence. “You know, you could just ask me out for coffee, if what I do destroys you so much.”

  Ronan’s smile dropped, his expression shocked in a way that was pure bliss. He didn’t even try denying it or even undermining it.

It was so satisfying that Adam didn’t even think about the implications, about Ronan Lynch showering him in love poems and actually being interested in him.

Big miscalculation, on his part, because he was caught off guard right back.

Ronan shrugged, letting his lips slightly curl on one corner. One of those charming, mischievous smiles of his.

  “I’ll wait for you after class, then.”

        *He seems to me to be equal to a god,

he, if it is permissible, seems to surpass the gods,

who sitting opposite again and again

watches and hears you

sweetly laughing, which rips out all senses

  **Suns may set and rise again;

for us, when once the brief light has set,

an eternal night must be slept.

Give me a thousand kisses, then a hundred,

then another thousand, then a second hundred,

then yet another thousand, then a hundred

  ***At this point [my] mind is so broken down by your doing, my Lesbia,

that it destroys itself by its own devotion

  ****so that it can no longer wish you well, even if you should become the best,

nor can it stop loving you, no matter what you should do.

[46ten]

Eliza Hamilton biography review

Tilar J. Mazzeo's Eliza Hamilton: The Extraordinary Life and Times of the Wife of Alexander Hamilton Let me preface this review by stating that I'm not the target audience for a book like this, but I’ll try to be fair. A major challenge in writing a biography of Elizabeth S. Hamilton is that the period of her life when the general public has the most interest - the years of her marriage to Alexander Hamilton - are those in which we largely only have contemporaneous sentimental accounts of her as a wife (letters from AH and P. Schuyler, brief mentions from McHenry and Stephen Van Rensselaer), daughter (letters from P. Schuyler), and sister (letters to/from Angelica S. Church and Margarita/Peggy S. Van Rensselaer, and letters between her siblings and father). But that's not all that EH - or any woman - was.  Based on the lack of information provided in this biography, Mazzeo's not terribly interested in the role of upperclass women in the late 18th century, the dynamics of marriage in that era, class distinctions between women, labor dynamics, childbearing and -rearing customs (she doesn't know about naming customs either), handicrafts, household management, women’s roles in education, the Republican Court, or any of a range of topics that would flesh out EH's world. Mazzeo doesn’t elaborate on the common conceit of the era that women had a political and social duty to the republic, including in helping to regulate the affairs of men through their “complementary” traits. She largely treats the social gatherings of women as arenas for gossip, titillation, and regular old social duty, not as opportunities for soft diplomacy, influence, and favor currying, which they most definitely also were. The women in this biography just sort of move across the stage of male dominance.* Since Mazzeo largely does not contextualize EH's 18th century life and seems to fall into the trap of, “the work of men is important; the work of women is only of side interest,” she's left repeating lots of gossip and conjecturing about romantic thoughts and feelings, as if these were largely all that women had to offer in the 18th century. Mazzeo clearly read letters that have not been included in the standard Hamilton narrative and found some things - mostly gossipy items - really interesting and was willing to go down the rabbit-hole on those, but was also comfortable relying on Hamilton biographies without going to primary sources on many subjects.  The Good Mazzeo does add some valuable context of the events in Albany especially.  She also adds Schuyler family voices to the narrative. I also liked how solidly she showed the interconnection of the Schuylers and AH with other wealthy and influential families. Although Mazzeo doesn't completely make the link, the tension of life near the frontier, wars, and the assassination attempts on her father's life may have played a role in EH's anxiety, such as it was, about being separated from her husband, esp. as he was also subject to threats of assassination at times. She could have more clearly made a counterargument to biographers' claims of EH's nervous anxiety by pointing out the terrors that EH really did face, but she does not do this. While for dubious reasons (based on how she sees EH as a character), Mazzeo raises issues around the Reynolds Pamphlet. It needs to be taken more seriously that Maria Reynolds denied - to at least two parties on the record - that an extramarital affair ever happened and volunteered a handwriting sample** to prove that the letters in AH's supposed possession were not written by her.  I appreciate that Mazzeo brought up that AH's explanation for his involvement with James Reynolds was not universally accepted at the time - Monroe had serious doubts, as did Callendar.  Unfortunately, some of Callendar's pamphlets detailing why he thought both were possible - AH was a sleaze who could have both had an affair with MR AND been engaged in shady financial dealings with her husband - are also lost to history.  I am also gleeful that I'm not the only person who has noticed that there is a similarity between EH's spelling style and MR's as re-printed. (I have also entertained the thought that EH forged those MR letters herself, or were AH forgeries copying parts of his wife's letters.)  I also appreciate that she points out that AH's claim of an affair with MR became widespread knowledge in the political sphere within a very short period of time. The Bad While Mazzeo adds to the record with facts from the Schuyler family letters, she relies heavily on Hamilton biographies, and not even the thorough, well-sourced ones, for others.  Based on the notes at the end of the book, she didn't bother to go to (or check for) primary sources for a lot of facts about AH. She states that Edward Stevens was "likely" AH's half-brother, which has largely been dismissed as a possibility. There are bizarre dating errors, wrong years, even wrong kids named - by my rough estimate, on average there are factual errors at least on every other page. Did Mazzeo not have a fact-checker - even someone decently acquainted with the facts around the persons she’s writing about? (She also contradicts herself on information she’s provided, so maybe she didn’t have a good proofreader either.) It's head-scratching that Mazzeo would do enough research to conjecture that "Polly" (from Tench Tilghman's May 1780 letter, recorded in his memoir) was Mary Tilghman, but not bother to read AH and GW letters to know more about EH's 1794 pregnancy.  Similarly, she gets it right that William S. Hamilton was born in NYC, but then thinks Eliza traveled to Albany right after. (Although a letter from PS to EH from late August contradicts that claim.)  She even repeats the shoe bow story, but claims it did happen in 1789 (incorrect), and says the person mistakenly thought Peggy was unmarried because of the way she behaved? Stephen Van Rensselaer was a reasonably well-known man. Back to the Reynolds Pamphlet: Mazzeo uses as evidence of AH's drafting of the MR letters the similarity between them and Pamela. It's not really evidence that someone - anyone - would write using common idioms and expressions of the time. AH did it quite frequently himself, as I've written about on this blog - he's doing it when he uses the popular phrase, "best of wives, best of women," not making some reference to the Nut-brown maid poem. This isn't proof that the MR letters were forged. Mazzeo hypothesizes that the real reason for the Pamphlet was further financial scandal cover-up, but never conjectures as to the wheres/hows. (If only she could see my many pages of notes on the interactions between AH, John Church, and Church's financial associates.) I'm also baffled as to Mazzeo's explanation for EH going along with the coverup of a financial scandal of the Reynolds Pamphet - because she was afraid of her husband going to jail? That this was EH's biggest fear? Where is the evidence for that? The Ugly The treatment of Peggy! Harsh and man hungry and scared of being a spinster - though a theme with Mazzeo is all of these women being obsessed with flirtations and afraid of ending up husband-less. The treatment of Angelica! The treatment of JOHN CHURCH, whom she describes as a "scoundrel." AH is a "rogue," seemingly with a drinking problem, visiting prostitutes (yet somehow having MR as a mistress would be too much), staying out late at night. It's a wonder that Mazzeo's AH ever accomplished anything in his life, with all of the 18th century character flaws and errors in judgement she gives him.  Most especially with sexual activities, she repeats gossip from AH detractors several times in the book, while her sources are John Adams (as much as two decades later) and Benjamin Latrobe (good friend to Jefferson).  Mazzeo repeats a story, more than once, about AH sexually assaulting Sarah L. Jay that Adams related decades later and that even Adams' cousin William Cunningham said sounded like nonsense, and guesses as to EH's parlor-room reaction to it.  Yet AH and Church would have had about zero social standing if this were really how they had behaved (or if these anecdotes had been widely known at the time). And then there's all of the fantasy treated as fact - without letters to draw on from the period of her childhood and marriage, Mazzeo spends a lot of time imagining EH's feelings and thoughts and presenting them as facts. As one illustration, Mazzeo invents a wedding scene in which Eliza and Alexander exchange rings. Nevermind that EH's actual wedding ring was interlocking and AH likely never had a ring - Mazzeo has AH give Eliza the "Elizabeth" ring, and her give him the "Alexander &" ring. Why would they exchange rings with their own names? Finally, there's a good deal of documentation of EH's life after AH, including more letters from her, more evidence of her financial management, and actually more about her beliefs, thoughts and feelings than are available during her marriage. This is the period when EH's "voice" is most clearly recorded, along with her actions outside the management of her household and her husband's public career. Yet this gets very short-shrift by Mazzeo. The Ugly left a strong impression - it doesn't seem that Mazzeo is neutral about the personages, but actively dislikes them. At various times, she slams pretty much everyone who made up EH's closest circle during her marriage: her parents, her sisters, her husband, her brother-in-law, and then goes against acceptance of the Reynolds Pamphlet not through analysis of the evidence but because she wants an EH that is more palatable to her.  EH, ultimately, comes across as a cypher. Mazzeo does have a strong narrative style, and I wish that this book could have been a collaboration between a historian (or at least someone with stronger scholarly skills) and herself, to at least tease out a real world.  I think we're a good 50 years past writing women from other eras as if they're completely unknowable except as wives, mothers, and daughters. *In patriarchal cultures, there are always women cooperating with the dominant culture as a means to their own ends. The compromises and nuances of how that plays out in societal rules are fascinating. But, I guess, not to Mazzeo.

**This really needs further comment in my epic John Church-AH shenanigans post, where Jeremiah Wadsworth gets more attention, but I’ll point out here that AH asked Wadsworth to confirm MR’s handwriting, from AH to Wadsworth, 28Jul1797 (in NYC, writing to Wadsworth in Hartford, CT): 

My Dear Wadsworth

I regretted much, that I did not find you here.

I know you have seen the late publications, in which the affair of Reynold’s is revived. I should have taken no notice of them had not the names of Mughlenberg Monroe & Venable given them an artificial importance. But I thought under this circumstance, I could not but attend to them. The affair has so turned that I am obliged to publish every thing.

But from the lapse of time I am somewhat embarrassed to prove Mrs. Reynold’s hand writing. Thinking it probable, as she was a great scribbler you must have received some notes from her when she applied to you for assistance, I send you one of her notes to me and if your recollection serves would be much obliged to you to return it with your affidavit annexed—“That you received letters from Mrs. Reynolds, conceived yourself to be acquainted with her hand writing & that you verily believe this letter to be of her hand writing.”

If your memory does not serve you then return the letter alone to me. If I remember right I never knew of your agency towards procuring Reynold’s relief, till after he was discharged. If your memory stands in the same way, I will thank you to add a declaration to this effect.

Dont neglect me nor lose time.

Yrs. truly

This was Wadsworth’s response (2Aug1796), truncated by me: 

your favor of the 28th July arrived late last evening. I have not the least knowledge of Mrs. Reynolds’s hand writing nor do I remember ever to have recd a line from her if I did they were destroyed but a letter or two for you which by Your request I returned to her or destroyed. ...[S]he immediately fell into a flood of Tears and told me a long storey about her application to You for Money when in distress in her husbands Absence & that it ended in a amour & was discovered by her husband from a letter she had written to you which fell into his hands. I told her I would see Mr. Woolcott & G Mifflin The next Morning I told Mr. Woolcott what had passed he then related the transaction for which Clingn & Reys had been committed. I then went to Mifflin and told him I came at ye request of Mrs. Reynolds. he imediately told me that she had told him the Story of the amour. ...A Mr. Clingman whom I had never seen before and seemed to have been sent for was present part of the time. From this interview I was fully confirmed in my Opinion before formed that the whole business was a combination among them to Swindle you. Mrs Reynolds called on me again and urged me deliver letters to You. You refused to receive them & desired me to return letters for You or destroy them I do not know which. I rec’d several Messages from her and again went to her house told her you would hold no correspondence with her and gave her my Opinion as at first that her husband must undergo a trial. I can not be particular as to time & date and I do not remember that I ever knew how he was liberated untill I lately saw Mr Woolcott. I certainly never considered myselfe as having any agency in procureing Reynolds’s relief nor do I remember ever to have had any conversation with You on the subject untill after your meeting with the Mess Munroe Melenburg & Venables. and had supposed Reynolds to have been ⟨released⟩ by their influence he was ⟨ashamed⟩ to have been so ⟨–⟩ after an Explanation with you. I am sorry you have found it necessary to publish any thing for it will be easy to invent new Calumnies & you may be kept continualy employed in answring. be Assured it never will be in the power of your enemies to give the public an opinion that you have Speculated in ye funds, nor do they expect it: I should have replied by this days Post—but the Mail arrives here at nine at night & goes out at Two in the Morning. I am D sir truly yours

[meg-a-million-whats]

[Korrasami] Theory of Operation

Original Prompt: “Korra getting lessons in engineering so that she understands Asami’s work, and hopefully impress her.”

Notes: For @the-fragile-knight​. I can’t figure out how the reply option works on Tumblr, so here you goooo. Shoutout to @anonymousclone for the abstract algebra bits.

[Read on AO3]

Having a genius as the love of your life is pretty great, most of the time. But sometimes Korra wished she could understand what Asami was saying.

“I really think hydropower is the most reliable and cost-efficient energy source available to us right now,” Asami said, as she rolled open her blueprints. “I mean, employing firebenders to power electrical engines is great, but—if you have an automated device that combines the rapid response load-following and balancing capabilities of hydroelectricity generation, as well as its peaking capacity and power quality, plus the accessibility of combustion energy, hydropower can surpass coal power plants in no time.” Asami beamed at Korra. “An invention like that would be a game-changer.”

“Uh-huh,” Korra replied.

Asami blushed. “Sorry, this is boring, isn’t it?”

“No, no, it’s not. Uh, I really like the part about—planting. Powerful planting. That sounds really interesting.”

Korra knew she had said the wrong thing when Asami smiled kindly instead of lighting up in excitement.

“Why don’t we go over what the the president wanted for the Republic City Aquatic Center?” Asami asked.

“Yeah,” Korra said, secretly grateful, because it involved repositioning spirit vines—something Korra understood—instead of this newfangled thing known as engineering

“Why don’t you just try to—I dunno, learn it?” Bolin asked her, when they were getting drinks at Swamp Munches the next day. “Like, pick up a book from the Central Library—”

Korra shot him an irritated look. “I did. But they had all these—letters. Mixed in with weird symbols. And I couldn’t read any of it, even though the librarian swore the book wasn’t written in a foreign language.”

“What about metal benders?”

Korra threw her hands up. “I mean. I asked Chief Beifong if she knew what Asami meant by ‘hydrodynamic stability,’ and she looked at me like I was possessed.”

Which was a legitimate concern, given Korra’s line of work.

“I don’t think metal benders know anything more about this ‘engineering’ than we do,” Korra concluded.

“Huh.” Bolin tapped his chin. “Well then. There’s only one way out of this, isn’t it?”

“What?”

“Consult the only other guy we know who understands this—” he made jazz hands, “—engineering.”

Varrick was massaging Zhu Li’s feet as Korra explained her problem to him that Thursday. As part of their marriage vows, Varrick and Zhu Li had agreed to be each other’s secretaries for equal partitions of a day. It was a weird arrangement, but considering their relationship before their marriage, Korra supposed she could understand. She didn’t get how the foot massages came into the picture, though.

“Interesting proposal!” Varrick declared when he wiped his fingers of massage oil. “Teaching the Avatar the foundations of engineering? This is a challenge I like! Zhu Li, I need—”

Zhu Li coughed and held up a pocket watch. “Twenty-two more minutes.”

“Right!” Varrick agreed, with the same amount of enthusiasm as before. He turned to Korra. “Well, before we began—what’s your math background? I don’t need any of those proof-based stuff—partial order differentiation and vector analysis are good enough for the basics.” He frowned and crossed his arms. “Though the Southern Water Tribe is known for their theoretical mathematicians. So, don’t worry if what I’m asking seems too simple! We’ll get to the hard part soon!”

Korra blinked at him. “I—I can do fractions pretty well?”

Varrick’s expression didn’t change, but he paused for a second too long. “Well! This is even more of a challenge than I thought.” His lips split into a grin. “I like it!”

They spent the first two weeks teaching Korra algebra. Korra hated it. She had too many questions. And the way Varrick was teaching her just made her more confused than ever. Why did numbers have to be represented by letters? Why couldn’t they just subtract 15 from 55 instead of writing x + 15 = 55? And why did Xiaoming have to buy 55 apples at the grocery store anyway?

“It’s not working,” Korra told him, flatly, when they tried to move on to algebraic multiplication. It didn’t help that Varrick would sometimes jump to things that Korra definitely knew had nothing to do with engineering, like telling her how she should be excited about what she was learning right now because really, algebra was so much more—it was an abstraction of the real world, and if she learned to perceive them in the forms of groups and rings and quotient fields, separating algebra from the axiomatic assumptions of its elementary form, she would open herself from understanding that parallel lines had the same slope to understanding that the symmetric group of eight elements was the square preserving transformations of a square—

By the end of the second week, Korra could tell that Varrick was beginning to lose his confidence, but trying to hide it by shouting more loudly and with more punctuation. Korra came to the conclusion that teaching Korra math was miserable for both of the parties involved.

“Look, I don’t want to learn algebra, alright?” Korra said irritably. “I don’t care about any of it—I just want to know what my girlfriend is talking about when she gushes over ‘fluid dynamics’ and ‘merit order’ and ‘microelectronics.’”

Korra wasn’t going to admit this to anyone, but she sometimes had nightmares about Asami breaking up with her for a really smart robot.

At this, Varrick’s ears perked. “You mean you just want an empirical overview and practical demonstrations of a field of study that is set to take over the world in the next century—with none of the theoretical foundations?”

“Uh. Yeah? I guess?”

“Well why didn’t you say so?” Varrick jumped up from where he had lied, curled up, on the ground. “Zhu Li, give me—”

Zhu Li coughed daintily again and held up her watch. “Fifteen more minutes.” She glanced at Varrick. “And I asked for a lemonade half an hour ago.”

“Forgive me, I get carried away sometimes,” Varrick said, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek. Zhu Li smiled. To Korra, he said, “I’ll have a whole new syllabus ready in an hour!” before stalking away.

A month later, Korra and Asami went to oversee the hydroelectric generator system in the new aquatic center. The center was built right next to a river to source in water, and the turbines would generate extra electricity for the city on the side. Looking at the turbines, Korra had to admit that they were pretty cool: circular, each ten yards in diameter, covered in a snail-like shell. Beneath each shell was a ring of blades spread out like flower petals.

“I can’t believe you designed all of this,” Korra said, after she jumped down from the top of one of the generators, giving the frightened inspector a break.

“I really didn’t,” Asami said. “All I did was modify the penstock and some of the interior engineering. It’s really just so the turbine can take in water with relatively low pressure but, like, hopefully generate the same level of voltage as you can for a dam—” She paused abruptly, blushing. “But that’s not important. I mean—”

“But how did you do it when there is basically no potential energy to turn into electricity?” Korra asked, genuinely curious.

Asami lit up. “Actually, I modified the rotor with a reactor core so that it spins at a higher angular velocity to induct more mechanical energy into the magnet! And I also was able to modify the properties of the copper coil in the electromagnet so that resistance becomes malleable and is actually exponentially dependent on the water pressure. So the slower the water moves, the more electricity you get.”

“That’s amazing!” Korra said, holding Asami by the shoulders. “I mean, with this you can bring electricity into the central Earth Kingdom as long as they have a tiny little stream going on—”

“Yeah, that’s the idea.” Asami’s eyes were shining. “I got permission from the president to test the technology here—to measure the energy conversion efficiency. If it exceeds maintenance costs and things like that, Prince Wu should be able to convince the Earth Kingdom prime minister to distribute it throughout the kingdom.”

“Bringing electricity to people who couldn’t afford it before,” Korra said, breathless. “I’m sorry I didn’t know about this sooner.”

Asami shrugged, still blushing. “It’s still in its prototype stage. I didn’t want to say anything until it’s efficient enough to justify the costs. Otherwise it’s just a really expensive gadget that can’t really act as a substitute for the current system—so, useless.” She looked at Korra. “Where’d you get all that physics knowledge all of a sudden?”

“Oh, that.” Now it was Korra’s turn to blush. “Um. Well. I wanted to learn more about what you’re doing, since you always took the time to learn what I’m up to—so I asked Varrick to teach me.”

Asami laughed. “Oh, Korra, that’s—that’s so sweet of you.” She hugged Korra. “Thank you. But how did you—well, stand learning from Varrick?”

Korra thought back to the massive volumes of technical manuals, diagrams, journals, and practical hands-on experiments that Varrick had crammed into their little classes over the past month. Not to mention the weird tangents he still went on in his lectures. And the problem sets.

“Oh,” Korra said, light. “Well. I do my best.”

Asami laughed.

“You know, at first I really just wanted to impress you,” Korra admitted. “But I feel like the more I learn, the more impressive you become.”

Asami cupped her cheek. “Weird. Because I feel the same about you,” she said.

Korra felt her heart warm at that.

“I’d still like to learn more,” Korra said, “but I also feel like I’m stealing Varrick away from Zhu Li all the time.”

“I can tutor you.”

“Really?”

“Of course,” Asami said, grinning. “I already have ideas for all sorts of homework problems. And we can have projects! And midterms! It’d be just like university.”

Korra groaned and let her forehead fall forward, touching Asami’s. “What have I gotten myself into?”

“You love me for it,” Asami said.

“I do.” Korra kissed her on the cheek.

And she really did. Making Asami happy was worth all the studying in the world.

[thecoroutfitters]

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[icodogio]

The Story of ICODOG, November Progress Report

Crashing through the support lines like a Boss

If you are reading this, then your awesome! ICO DOG started off as a simple twitter channel in January 2018. People started to follow the dog, because we provided useful insights into ICO investing and whitelist links. Back then people still had to race everyone else to get into these things, before they would dump hard. 

In February we then had the first guys asking us to make a telegram chat room for the community and use primablock to pool funds together to send to such projects. It was a very exciting time to see ICO DOG brand grow so organic. After that, the market crashed 20% every single day. That was a rough period. To be honest, the whole year was a stony road. 

Several people came together, that were very active in the telegram channel and formed a team. It was like a mini DAO. We had review & marketing guys, tech guys, lawyer team and all that happened by itself on Telegram. We build the first Presale Platform, created a cool UI for users introduced a level system to build the community and later even added master nodes. However, things just became more and bleaker. As Bitcoin fell closer to $3000 more people left and the group became silent. 

Sounds like a sad story right? Well, every good storyline has a downturn, followed by a boost of motivation to get through all the shit. 

A few months ago, we decided that the ICO space became a bit too scammy in 2018. We started to become more selective with the investment choices and eventually stopped pooling altogether. Pooling was about winning together, and it’s not fun if everybody loses. 

We started to look into other forms of revenue that we can build up to keep us over water until the bear market is over. What we love to do the most is community building, and community is the MOST important aspect of a decentralized network. 

The idea of blockchain was it to move from a centralized system to a decentralized one. This word decentralized is being thrown around on a daily basis although most people still do not understand what it means to change the architecture from centralized to decentralized. Most if not all big projects still have a very centralized structure going on with a few exceptions like Bitcoin, Ethereum & Steem. 

Understanding decentralized Architecture 

A decentralized architecture is fundamentally different to anything we know as of know. That’s also why it’s so hard to understand. Think of bitcoin as the first decentralized company. Let’s call it Bitcoin Crop.

To help understand the Bitcoin Company metaphor, let’s say bitcoins properties are the products that this new decentralized company is producing. Common things said about Bitcoin is its decentralized, censorship resistance peer to peer money. These are often the terms used when people tell you why you should buy bitcoin. Bitcoin is the fastest growing asset of all time. Therefore Bitcoin as the first decentralized company is the fastest growing Company in the world, reaching an evaluation of over 300 Billion USD in less than 10 years.

Although the Bitcoin Company is producing high-quality stuff, the products themselves are only as good as the sales, distribution, marketing and that where decentralized architecture kicks centralized companies ass. 

To make things even more complicated we now have to rethink what it means to be paid and to receive a salary. In a centralized company, build on the centralized architecture model, you work for your boss, who has a boss and that boss gets told what to do by some CEO who then has to take his others from shareholders. The money “trickles down” the food chain and by the time it reaches the bottom almost all of it is gone. 

Let’s compare this with the first decentralized company Bitcoin. In the Bitcoin company its a bit more complicated than that. In the early days of the company, if you want to work there, you actually have to pay the company first! Crazy I know! Think of it as some tribute to show your loyalty to the Network. The earlier you join, the less you have to pay, and the more of the company network you own. 

In the early days of Bitcoin Corp. most of the employees there were just engineers and a few crazy marketing guys. Things became a lot more interesting in 2013, when some important people started to work at Bitcoin Corp. People like the Winklevoss twins, Roger ver, Chamath Palihapitiya and many others bought a big share in Bitcoin Corp. and thereby earned the right to work for the Bitcoin. After that, Bitcoin Corp started to grow exponentially, because those new high-class employees had a lot of leverage and even more incentive to grow Bitcoin. The harder they would work the bigger the company would become and the more valuable there coins would be. 

This was the birth of the first decentralized payroll. Most of the mentioned people earned millions working for Bitcoin and are still working hard getting ETFs approved and spreading the word about it. Every person that owns Bitcoin becomes an employee at Bitcoin Corp. Everybody is rewarded for the work that anybody does, and everybody is incentivized to help grow the Bitcoin company. 

  Introducing a New Way of Doing Everything

A few months ago, we decided to build software to help ICOs build their own decentralized Networks. We called the system Proof of Engagement and called the Software the DAO Maker. Pun intended.

Proof of Engagement is a concept that helps onboard new users and uses token bondage curves and community incentive to create an organic community of long-term token holders. We took our functions that we build to detect contributors in an ICO pool and combined it with our Point system to great a smart community program. The idea is that users can join the ICO before it starts and do community work, quizzes, and other services before the public sale ends. Once the tokens are unlocked, those users that joined the ICO will get their investment tokens + engagement reward tokens. Users can then continue to earn community bonus tokens monthly, but ONLY if they keep their ICO token in the wallet which they used for investing into the ICO.

The monthly rewards increase with:

Time user holds the initially invested coins. 

Time users hold their earned engagement tokens.

The total amount of tokens held by registered users.

The total amount of tokens user is currently holding.

Current users community level.

Monthly earned points. 

All of these factors are added together, to give the exact value that a user will receive monthly. Put simply its a micro staking system, that rewards engaged users in tokens. The result is a dynamic token bonded community. People have incentives to build and help the network, the more experience that have the more tokens they will own, the more tokens they will earn. The system incentives loyalty and hodlers, while also makes it possible for new users to join the system and help the network to grow.

For a deeper understanding on Dynamic Token Bonding Curves you can check out some publications on Token Economy here 

The best KYC & AML & CTF in Crypto

For the past months, we were talking to A LOT of KYC providers. We quickly came to the conclusion that most of them are scams. The state of Anti Money laundry in crypto is pretty scary. I lots of people will end up in court for violating the AML directives. Currently, most ICOs do not comply with KYC & AML laws. The EU currently requires to be compliant until the 4th EU AML directive, which will change in 2019. We are already compliant with EU AMLD5, which is not in force yet but already includes cryptocurrencies, we are a step ahead of the curve in the EU.

Starting this week, we will introduce the new KYC & AML features on our Platform. We are using the newest system of machine learning to scan a users face and password as well as detecting an applicants voice, to generate a complete biometric signature of his application. We will be able to onboard KYC & AML application in real time and will be one of the first fully compliant with the new regulations of 2019.

    Updates to ICODOG Reviews

We changed the homepage for ICO DOG to show more crypto stories, reviews and post analysis. We are working on a more in-depth redesign for ICODOG.IO in 2019. We added a few new Blog sections namely,  ICO Analysis and Post ICO Reviews and Crypto Stories.

We want to take more time in 2019 to evaluate ICOs that concluded their Sale in 2017 & 2018. We are planning to make this a decentralized work effort with the help of Token Curated Lists (TCL). We will make a few posts about TCL in the next few weeks. ICODOG.IO is focusing on providing value-adding content, not the same stuff that the mainstream crypto outlets write about. This will be a really cool project that we are very excited to start next year and finish by end of Q1 2019.

We welcomed 3 new writers to the ICODOG team and are trying to produce useful content every day. 

New Partnerships & Business Development

Last month we Partnered up with several high-quality service providers as well as high potential ICOs. We will add all of the new partners on the Partners on the Partners tap of the updated website. Looking forward to building the new world with likeminded people.

ICO DOG Platform Upgrade 2.0 

We been very busy and added a lot new feature on ICO DOG Investment platform. We are still in bug hunting so if you use the bug bounty tap on the platform to help us. We added some cool features that will make the life of many a lot easier.

Automated twitter confirmation

Users once a user connects their Twitter account in the profile section and starts generating tweets and retweets, these actions will be detected at midnight automatically. That means users do not need to click claim every day, but instead can earn points directly on Twitter.

Reddit Automated Integration 

Users can now also join the Reddit campaign and generate threads and comments to spread the word about ICO DOG. We increased the team to help with the distribution of content among all the social media accounts. This should help you guys earn points quicker and easier as well as build a community on Reddit. 

For launching this new system we are increasing the points for reddit registrations by 3x. 

Ambassador Program 

We added an Ambassador Program for the ICO DOG community. We added Ambassador status to several people already that have been part of the community for almost a year and been working together through this bear Market. Ambassadors have special rights and access to social media accounts, discord reddit and will be informed about the latest updates.

ICO DOG COIN

We plan to introduce the ICO DOG Coin next year. This coin will be the fuel that powers all of the ICO DOG utility. Ambassadors will get monthly airdrops in the ICODOG coin depending on their contribution. Part of the revenue that ICO DOG will make goes into the coin via buybacks and token burns. As we are not raising any funds from nobody, the coin is cannot be considered a security.

All new Features Summarized

Following a few of the new features: + Upgraded pool system: – new wallet management – my pools is now a list (click the red sync button to update your pools) – record and track all the transaction you have sent, even from different address – improved overall working flow + Add reddit integration with auto check (it runs every day) + Weekly competition + Global real-time notifications + Two factor authentication support (Google authenticator) + Twitter with auto claim (it runs every day, no need to click Claim anymore) + Many other new features and bug fixes

  Summary

This year was rough, but we did not give up. The harder Bitcoin Dumps, the harder we work! Things could be better in terms of the market, but fundamentally ICO DOG is doing pretty good. We want to thank all those that have been with us on this amazing journey since the beginning. 

Crypto will change the world and we will help make that happen. 

If you like what we do please register on the icodogpool platform and shill this and other-other content! As always like, share and join discord & telegram.

  The post The Story of ICODOG, November Progress Report appeared first on ICODOG.

source https://icodog.io/crypto-stories/the-story-of-icodog-november-progress-report/

[berthastover]

Your Welcome Email Swipe File

You stare at the blinking cursor on your computer. Gotta write a welcome email for our new subscribers…. but what to say? It’s hard to conquer the blank page.

Harder when you hear that a welcome email generates an average of 33% more engagement with your brand than other campaigns.

Well, that really dries up your words.

Your solution? An amazing swipe file of killer welcome emails so you never start with a blank page. When you start with examples, suddenly words and ideas flow.

Problem is: how do you put together this swipe file?

Don’t worry — I got you covered.

I rounded up 10 of the best welcome emails in all industries. Then I analyzed them top-to-bottom for what’s working so well. So, you know exactly what elements to use in your welcome email.

 1. SaaS trial user welcome email

  Analysis

Use this email when your SaaS app has an easy-to-use onboarding process. Or when the first step a new user needs to take is a click.

This subject line is awesome: to the point and ties to what Wordable’s new user is interested in.

When you read the first line, you’re excited and want to try out Wordable. Especially since you have only 24 hours of unlimited exports.

Uploading a post sounds so easy with zero work involved. It’s a click of the button, and, whoosh, uploaded post.

You hated those hours wasted on formatting blog posts from Google docs, trying to get the images right. This email taps right into the solution for your pain.

Wordable did a great job of building up the emotion from the first line of this email. When you see this call to action, you want to click. They’ve orchestrated that feeling in you: yes, please, click.This call to action is the next step you need to take to achieve success with their app. This email sets up that action beautifully.“You have to quickly and clearly hammer home that they can’t live without your product,” said Patrick Campbell, founder and CEO of Price Intelligently.“The one or two things that constitute your product’s minimum path to awesome are the steps you definitely need in your onboarding sequence. These steps may be activities like setting up an account, posting to social media, installing an integration, creating a campaign, etc. They’re micro goals that give users a dopamine rush and help them feel like they’re accomplishing something.”

Answer to your question: what happens when my 24 hours is up?

Best part: it doesn’t sound like work.

If I were to optimize this email, I would like to see how this email performs with changing up the last two lines. I’d either bury them before the last paragraph or delete them. They sound like work and distract from the primary call to action of logging into Wordable.

Key takeaways

Short, sweet and to the point, this email lines you up to take the next step in using Wordable. That next step doesn’t feel like work, thanks to the anticipation in the language used (i.e.”have you tried it out yet?” and “save you hours every month”).

For your SaaS welcome email, figure out the first step your user needs to take so he’ll see success with your app.

Write a clear email pointing them to that next step like Wordable did. Layer in some emotion like anticipation, time-savings, and excitement in your language.

 2. Consultant welcome email

  Analysis

The from name sounds like a real-life person. The fact that Talia Wolf doesn’t use her last name makes her feel friendly. Now you want to open her email.

The subject line makes you feel like she was getting this cheat sheet ready for you. As though this cheat sheet were a bread that Talia baked specifically for you. It makes you feel warm and fuzzy inside.”There is one all-important law of human conduct,” wrote Dale Carnegie in How to Win Friends & Influence People. “That law, if obeyed, will bring us countless friends and constant happiness. The law is this: Always make the other person feel important.” (emphasis added)

A clear overview of what you’re getting in this cheat sheet and how to use it right away.

One, clear call to action which serves as the email’s goal.As Neil Patel says, “What good is copywriting without a logical endpoint — a goal, a focus, a point? It’s useless. That’s why the CTA is absolutely essential to successful marketing and successful copy. Your goal is sales.”

The personal signature at the end ties nicely to the from name and adds a feeling of personalized delivery. If I were to optimize this email, I might add in more brand voice or what outcomes you’ll see from using this cheat sheet.

This email is short. You have things to do and spending lots of time reading an email is not one of them.

 Key takeaway

Your lead magnet delivery email can be short.

Consider adding in language to create a feeling that you made this content just for them. As though they were waiting at a white-topped table for your special creation and now, ta-da, here it is.

 3. Lifestyle industry welcome email

  Analysis

Yes, you want more yoga and meditationand a lot less stress.This is exactly why you signed up for Yogaia’s online yoga classes. Because trying to find a parking spot in a crowded lot doesn’t equal stress-free living.

Speaking of finding a parking spot, maybe when you want to practice yoga, it’s midnight. And no yoga class is open. Having a flexible yoga practice — that you can do when you want — is key for Yogaia’s customers.

“Roll out your mat, open up Yogaia” — this is visual language.You see yourself rolling out a mat, clicking open Yogaia. Using this visual language taps into your brain and is very persuasive.Your brain doesn’t make a distinction between reading about an experience and encountering it in real life. Studies have found that reading creates a vivid simulation of reality, especially words involving motion like “roll out your mat.”

This button is pretty dull. I’d recommend using button copy that ties to what your reader will get, such as: “Find my free class” or “Start my practice.”

This welcome email ends on a note of excitement and anticipation.

 Key takeaways

Know your audience and what’s important to them. Understand what problem they want to solve and how you can help them, like living with more yoga and less stress.

Use visual language in your welcome email to help them imagine what their life could look like with your help.

 4. Coach welcome email

  Analysis

 First off: kick-awesome subject line.It captures Jen Sincero’s voice and her brand beautifully. Plus, it makes you feel pretty darn special. Which is exactly what you want your new subscriber feeling.

Tell your new subscriber what they should expect to get from you.Set up expectations from the start — like Jen does in this email — and then follow through on them. This is also a great spot to let your brand voice shine.

People read the sign off, so make it count like Jen does. It’s another spot to let your voice shine.

 Key takeaways

For a coach or consultant, your brand voice is what attracts fans to you.

So, don’t hold back. Make your welcome email sound like a) a human wrote it and b) it’s the same human that wrote the other stuff your fans fell in love with.

 5. eCommerce welcome email

  Analysis

The subject line has two awesome words: “free” and “trial.” Of course, you’re going to openthis email from Nest.

This line is awesome. Yes, you want to celebrate your new camera! If only to do a little happy dance that now you can watch your dogs snooze while you’re at work.

Necessary info related to your trial that should be included in a welcome email.Other necessary information to include in your welcome email is log-in information and log-in site URL.

The underlined parts explain why each feature improves your life. Plus, those are the exact reasons why you bought a Nest indoor camera.How to find strong copy like this? Do customer interviews and surveys, use the language and pain points in your copy.

Not interested in this trial? Here’s what you do.

Best part: no emotion in the language explaining how to decline this trial. So you don’t feel pressured either way to keep the trial.

Key takeaways

Include emotions in your email where your reader will be feeling them. Also, understand the specific reasons why your customer bought a product.

“We like people who are similar to us,” says Talia Wolf.

“Based on your product and your customers you know what type of persona your customers will like and feel close to. Mirroring your customer in your strategy (using images, content and the right social proof) will increase likability and trust.”

6. SaaS welcome email

 Analysis

Bitly’s welcome email is powerful in its simplicity and to-do style checklist.

First line creates a warm, fuzzy feeling.

Yes, you’re ready to get started!

The checklist style of onboarding makes it easy to see where you are and where you need to end up.Research has shown when you give a new user artificial advancement toward a goal — such as checking off the first item — that user exhibits greater persistence in reaching the goal. Bonus points for Bitly in checking off the first item on this list.

Each item on the checklist sounds easy and not like work. Bitly even emphasizes that feeling in #3 by saying “it’s so easy.”

This last item involves no action — i.e. sitting back — and lots ofpositive feeling. It’s akin to saying “pat yourself on the back.” Plus, it ties to the improvement your reader wants in their life.

Clear call to action with specific language. Bitly did a great job of not saying “get started.” Instead they made their button copy work a little harder.When your copy works harder, you’ll get better conversions.

The welcome email is a little early to ask a new user to upgrade. But, perhaps Bitly tested this copy and found it performed well.

Using the language of “unleashing the power” taps into what you want and might convince you to spring for the enterprise version.

 Key takeaways

Use a checklist with no-work-involved language to help your new user get started.

Set your new user up for success by checking off the first item on the to-do list.

Eliminate any suggestion that onboarding might be work. Instead, make onboarding feel like an exciting journey with a satisfying end.

 7. eCommerce coupon welcome email

  Analysis

This welcome email from Birchbox rocks for its large font, simple message, and clear calls to action.

It’s nice to meet you, too! This subject line creates a warm feeling. Exactly the feeling you want to create in your welcome email.

Using the word “gift” invokes the Dr. Cialdini’s Principal of Reciprocity.This rule is that people have a strong tendency to repay or reciprocate when given a gift. Think of it as “give a little, get a little.”

Super clear call to action, but the wording could be improved.

If you send a welcome email like this one, experiment with different wording in your call to action. For example, Birchbox could test out wording like “Get my first box.”

Key takeaways

Welcome your new eCommerce subscriber with a coupon.

When your welcome email delivers that coupon code, build on the warm feeling and invoke the Rule of Reciprocity by choosing words like “welcome” and “gift.”

 8. Consultant ebook delivery welcome email

 Analysis

This welcome email was one of the best ones I’ve saw in my research for this post. It hits all the right notes. If you have a lead magnet and need a delivery email, I recommend using this format.

This email comes from a person! His name is Michael Hyatt and, look, his picture pops up in my inbox. His email address is personalized and his actual name — no success, info or “dontreply” in the reply email.

The subject line is straight to the point and feels professional.

He starts off by thanking you.As Robert Cialdini, PhD says, “Attractiveness, similarity, compliments, contact and cooperation can make a person more influential.” (emphasis added)

He gets straight to the point and fulfills on delivering his first promise to you.

The call to action leaves no mystery about what happens after you click the button. That alleviates any anxiety about what comes after you click. So, it is easier for you to click.

He welcomes you to the community, making you feel like one of the cool kids.

A personal sign-off.This feels like an email from a business colleague that a) is professional and b) friendly. If you’re a coach or consultant, your welcome email should hit these two key points.

“If you’re writing an email from an individual person,” writes Chris Hexton.”Try including a PS to increase click-throughs and conversions. Always re-iterate your primary call to action.”

In this email, Michael states what you get out of continuing this email relationship with him.

 Key takeaways

Make your email come from a person and write it like you would to a business colleague: friendly but professional. When in doubt, thank your new subscriber for joining and welcome them to your community.

Make it very easy for them to download their free gift or lead magnet. Explain what happens after they click the call to action to reduce any anxiety they might have about clicking. Consider using a P.S. to your welcome email.

 9. Niche consultant welcome email

  Analysis

Check out the reply email address: this email comes from Bushra Azhar’s personal email. Personalization works both ways. When your from email address is a person’s name instead of a “don’t reply,” you foster a feeling of relationship. The exact feeling you want for your welcome email.

A welcome email is a celebration of a new subscriber joining your list. Bushra taps into that emotion in her subject line. Plus, this subject line is shorter than most subject lines which run 41-50 characters, making it stand out in your subscriber’s inbox.

She starts off talking about you. Everybody wants to know: what’s in it for me? You’re no exception.

She builds on that excited feeling by saying, ���pat yourself on the back.” Suddenly, you feel like you accomplished something in your day.

And now, look, what else this accomplishment will help you do in your life. Those three things are exactly what you want for your writing.

This quick introduction to who Bushra is downplays her importance.She still focuses on you, her welcome email reader, in each of the bullets while creating authority as to why you should listen to her.

This last bullet is important. It’s a heads up on what you can expect from her.

These lines are her call to action and a way to find out what her new subscriber wants. She also uses this section as a way to include more personality.

Her sign off is unforgettable. It makes you think of the Golden Retriever dog your family had in your childhood (which endears Bushra more).

 Key takeaways

Always focus on your welcome email’s reader.

You, as the email’s writer, are not important. What your reader wants and desires is. Help your reader understand how you’ll help them achieve those wants and desires.

Use “you” more than “I” and “we” in your welcome email.

If you’re in a specific niche — like copywriting or marketing — where providers are a dime a dozen, you need personality to stand out. Can’t forget Bushra after this welcome email, huh?

10. Best all-around welcome email

  Analysis

I love this welcome email from Noah Kagan. Use it when you don’t have a clue how you can help your audience or where to start with a welcome email.

The from name is spot-on. However, I’d recommend using his actual email addressat okdork.com as the from email.If you’re worried about a flood of replies to this email, set up a rule in your Gmail to divert those emails into a specific folder.

Clear subject line with the focus on you.The emoji helps the email stand out in your inbox. And, as you learn more about Noah, you’ll understand why he picked a taco. (Spoiler: He loves tacos.)

Noah builds on that positive feeling in the first line. A little flattery never hurt as this study found.

You want the best content, right? Don’t want unneeded emails in your inbox, correct? Yeah, I thought so.

Ask this question to find out what your audience wants to hear from you. Irrelevant content is the second top reason for an email user to unsubscribe. Asking your audience what they want is the fastest way to write content they want to read and will love you for.

 Key takeaways

When you don’t know what your audience wants to hear from you, ask them in a welcome email like this one. Or when you don’t have a welcome email in place, send this one.

Show your personality a bit in your email — like in the subject line with an emoji — or in your sign off. This email is not meant to be complicated, so keep it simple.

 Create a positive feeling

The best welcome email creates a feel-good emotion in your new subscriber. It also answers the question: “what’s in it for me?”

In your welcome email, welcome your new subscriber and share how excited you are that they joined your community. Include specifics on how reading your emails or content will improve their life.

If you get stuck writing your welcome email, read back over this list and swipe any copy that works for your business. Be sure to layer in your personality and brand voice because that’s why your new subscriber signed up: they want to hear from you.

What’s the best welcome email that you’ve seen?

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