#it simultaneously feeds my soul but also angers me at the potential they had

[freemaagyemans]

Are you and him...

[sheewolf85]

The Best Daddy

NOTES: For @keelywolfe, who tweeted an absolutely precious idea about Edge defending Stretch when someone doubts his ability to be a good dad. I don’t even know what AU this is. It’s a thing, and it happened, and I love it. I hope you do, too. 

Just FYI, Cyperus is a genus of grass-like flowering plants called sedges. Papyrus is one species of Cyperus. I got a kick out of Stretch suggesting not a font, but a plant based around the one they’re all named after. Edge would snicker, but it’s actually cute as a name! (I think, anyway! :D)

Also, I have no idea which of the fathers carried the baby or what the birth was like. I’ll leave that to your imaginations to decide.

Read it here

or after the cut!

Edge was at work when he got the text from Stretch that they were out of a few essentials like milk and that good bread with all the seeds in it.

Edge frowned at the message; he’d taken an inventory that weekend and they should have had plenty to last them a few more days at least. Regardless, Stretch could, and often would, eat a little more when he was stressed.

Instead of questioning where the food went, Edge simply replied that he would stop by the market on the way home to get some more.

After receiving a reply that he was a lifesaver, Edge smiled to himself and opened up the secret folder on his computer desktop, the one that held the pictures of his husband and their new baby.

Cyperus was already two months old, and Edge had pictures as recent as the day before all the way back to the day he was born. Edge himself was getting much better at playing photographer, and Stretch never seemed to put the camera down in case the baby did something cute.

Which was all the time. They had made an adorable baby.

Cyperus’ teeth were rounded, a compromise between Edge’s sharpened points and Stretch’s flattened ones. His magic was a truly mesmerizing coral, a mix of Edge’s own crimson and Stretch’s pale orange.

He smiled as he went through the pictures,

In one, Cyperus was dressed up in the ridiculous yet somehow endearing anime footed pajamas Alphys had made for him. The ensemble had a hood with an absolutely preposterous amount of yellow hair that stood straight up in arranged felt spikes.

Another was the three of them laying on the bed, Cyperus between the two fathers with large, bright eye lights. He had one foot out and pressed into Edge’s sternum while the other was held between his hands with toes in his mouth. Stretch was smiling at the camera while Edge was laughing, his attention on their baby.

A knock on the door interrupted his indulgence, and he forced himself to close the folder and get back to work.

--------------------

At the market, Edge had a list of things Stretch wanted him to get. As he moved along the aisles, it became clear very quickly that he was being followed.

The group following him wasn’t too alarming in themselves. Four or five monsters, all of them fairly young. The oldest couldn’t have been more than twenty.

He heard them whispering, and it wasn’t difficult to catch the words they thought they could conceal. They mumbled about Edge being the one with the new baby, and how they’d seen a picture on Stretch’s Instagram earlier that week.

“He’s a cute kid, right?” one of them whispered.

Edge smiled. Yes, his baby was incredibly cute.

The others seemed to agree with that.

“Yeah, and imagine how spoiled that kid is gonna be. You’ve had his cooking before.”

Edge didn’t care too much about them following him if all they were going to do was compliment him and gush about his child.

When their topic of conversation shifted to Stretch, Edge had foolishly thought they would continue in the same vein. He was wrong.

“Yeah, but can you imagine having Stretch as your other dad?” one of them asked.

Edge smiled again, expecting some fond daydreams about science experiments or helping to care for chickens. What he got instead was like a bucket of ice water poured directly onto his soul.

The others all shuddered simultaneously.

“Dude, that kid is gonna be lucky to survive the first year.”

What the fuck did that even mean?

Edge turned then, unwilling to hear them talk about his husband potentially abusing their child.

“Can I help you?” He asked, trying to remain calm.

All four of them stopped in their tracks and looked up at him with wide, startled eyes.

“Uh…” one of them managed to utter.

“I’m not stupid,” Edge started. “Nor am I blind and deaf to my surroundings. I know you’ve been following me and talking about my child. I’m not sure I want to know what you mean by your last sentiment about my husband, but if there’s something you’d like to say, now is the time.”

Edge waited, trying to steel himself for anything these monsters could come up with. Finally, one stepped forward.

“Well, aren’t you worried? I mean, you leave for work all day and nobody but Stretch is there with the baby.”

Edge raised a brow. “And…?”

Another stepped up.  “We just mean...aren’t you worried he’s just gonna sleep all day or leave the baby somewhere and go smoke or something? He’s so...lazy.”

For the first time in a very long time, Edge could honestly say he saw red. Deep in his soul, LV stirred and told him to slam these idiots again the nearest wall and show them what it meant to talk bad about his husband.

“Lazy?” He blurted, that one word filled with enough anger to make all four monsters take a step back.

“Stretch is no more lazy than any of you are bright. Yes, I work all day, which leaves him there to care for our child by himself. He bathes him, gets up at three in the fucking morning when the baby cries because I have to work, and feeds and clothes him all day long. If you could see how happy Cyperus is, you’d know how desperately wrong you are.

“Stretch is an amazing father; he not only watches after our child but also does housework while I’m gone. He deserves a fucking award for the shit he does for both me and our baby.”

He turned then and walked away, breathing deeply to let it go. It wasn’t worth it. He had a husband and a child to get home to.

--------------------

Stretch knew something had happened when Edge walked in the door. He held Cyperus on the couch, bouncing him lightly on his knee.

“hey babe,” he said happily.

Edge nodded and set down his briefcase, stripped off his suit jacket and hung it haphazardly over the chair at the desk, the stalked forward to sit next to Stretch.

Stretch squawked in surprise as both he and the baby were pulled into Edge’s lap.

Cyperus squirmed and squealed in delight, his little arms reaching out and waving around like he was trying to physically reach for more fun.

Edge kissed side of Stretch’s skull and gave the baby his gloved fingers to grip onto.

“How are my boys?” He asked softly.

“we’re good. are you? where are the groceries? do you need help carrying them in?”

Edge sighed and shook his head. “No, you do plenty for me already. You know that, don't you? I love you so much and appreciate everything you do. You’re such a great husband and an even better daddy.”

Stretch squirmed a little, careful to position Cyperus comfortably, and looked up at Edge.

“yeah, i know. what brought this on?”

Edge shook his head. “Stupid people at the market. I love you, so much, and I just need you to know that.”

Stretch didn’t push it. He knew how stupid people could be. They’d been stupid even before he and Edge decided to have a baby. Now it seemed like that stupid just amplified a million times. Sometimes it seemed like everyone had to be up in their business about shit that didn’t concern them.

“i love you too. and so does cyperus.”

The baby was currently chewing on Edge’s glove, and both dads let out a coo when he opened his sockets wide to look at them both.

“I will never understand how I got so lucky,” Edge said softly.

Stretch reached up to kiss his jaw. “i think we all know i’m the lucky one here.”

Edge smiled and gave his husband a proper kiss. “We both are.”

After another moment, Stretch squirmed. “for real, though, is there milk going bad in the trunk?”

Edge stifled a laugh and nodded. “Yes. Would you and Little One like to come help?”

Stretch carried the baby out and ended up only carrying one bag to Edge’s six, but soon the groceries were all in and put away.