#it seems to me that morgana’s ‘original sin’ is the refusal to martyr herself (the way that merlin did)

[firefly-fez]

Imagine you’re Morgana, though.

You discover this horrible secret about yourself, one that could get you killed. You’ve witnessed people like you be arrested, tortured and killed while everybody you love is either watching it happen, or ordered it to happen.

There are three people who might not harm you. Gaius, Merlin and Gwen.

She goes to Gaius first: the physician she’s trusted since she was a child, but he denies that there’s anything wrong. She’s lied to about her own experiences.

Merlin helped the driud boy. Maybe…maybe he would help her, too. Merlin tries to tell her he understands how she feels, but it makes her angry. How could he understand?

Gwen is her friend. Gwen keeps her secret. Gwen doesn’t think she’s evil, like Uther would. (Gwen also realistically isn’t in a position to actually threaten Morgana, due to her social station. Any commoner accussing a the King’s Ward of magic would likely get themselves sentenced to death.)

Morgana’s position is a horrible one.

Gwen’s father is unjustly executed. She’s raging, furious. Uther isn’t irredeemable, at least not at this point in the story.

But she gets the chance to kill her persecutor, and she takes it.

…Can you honestly blame her?

How do you stand face-to-face with your own persecutors day after day and not have that turn into hatred?

You might point out that Merlin did exactly that. I would argue that he didn’t.

Merlin also stood face-to-face with his persecutors day after day and did not try to kill them. He defended them. Protected them. Threw away every part of himself for them, for their legacy.

People always criticize Morgana for not truly defending the people of magic, but hey, neither did Merlin. He stops defending magic, stops helping other sorcerer’s and puts everything into keeping Arthur alive, driving Mordred away and condemning Arthur.

Merlin and Morgana stand face-to-face with their persecutors every day and it turns to hatred.

It turns Morgana to hatred of her persecutors, and it turns Merlin to self-hatred.

If Morgana hates her persecutors, why turn against Gwen? Why turn against the people of Camelot?

Because that’s what hatred does. That’s what evil does. It continues corrupting, until there’s nothing left.

Merlin telling Morgana about his magic would give her an outlet for what she is going through, a purpose, a way out of her circumstance other than bloodshed.

More than that, it also represents Merlin making a better choice. Fear doesn’t get the better of him, he allows himself a friend who understands his magic and shares it, it’s not just a scenario where Morgana can turn to something other than hatred, it’s a scenario where Merlin doesn’t crumble into self-hatred.

It’s a scenario where they’re both better, where they’re both making better choices.

People who think Morgana would miraculously have been good if Merlin told her about his magic haven’t paid attention. She has always been on the offensive and has had a vendetta. When Tom (Gwen’s dad) was killed she planned on teaming with Alvarr to Kill Uther but as soon as Uther saved her she forgave him and decided to spare him even tho she was planning on exacting revenge for Gwen.

Also when she first turned against Gwen in the beginning. That wasn’t for magic, that’s because she had a dream of Gwen being on the throne, the throne she wanted. That wasn’t for magic and she didn’t try to show gwen the good of magic she immediately tried to have her killed by taking Uther for a ride and exposing Arthur and Gwen’s date. Gwen was her best friend whose never shown prejudice against magic but as soon as she became a threat to her quest for power she planned on using her class and power against her!

TLDR: Gwen is proof on why Merlin was right in not trusting her. And she was never owed anyone’s secrets