#it really is so difficult to pick the right lyrics so apart from my other post

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

i can feel you // motion city soundtrack

All this time I've wasted Waiting for the world to end

Dizzy indecision Veering off the open road Anchors away

Lack of infrastructure Someone hear me out I'm dying inside There's nowhere to hide Where do I go

Get back in the cage Just keep me away I'm staggering

I can't wait to find you I really hate that I'm alone I can't wait to find you I really hate that I'm alone

Easy to resemble Hard to learn the workings of This lonesome charade

I'm filled with hesitation Staring down the tide It pulls you apart It stabs in the dark It carries away

I'm starting to see The problem with me Is everything

[bbydoll18xx]

Keep the Edits Cordial

A tik tok edit of two best friends coaxes out admissions of feelings (and orgasms)

Paige Bueckers x reader

word count: 3.2k

themes: mutual pining (LOML), friends to lovers, smut!!

warnings: i like using the word ‘fuck’, 18+

Thanks for the love on my first post! This is my first attempt at writing smut, so bear with me. I have a few more ideas if y'all are interested!

Despite not being on the uconn’s women's basketball team, or having any shred of athletic ability, you had befriended Paige Bueckers, and her teammates, as an extension, had adopted you with open arms. So you weren't out of place sitting in the apartment of Paige and several of her teammates while she was in class.

“Oh fuck, shit, shit, shit,” you hear KK Arnold swear over on the couch across from where you were sitting, attempting to get some homework done.

A sensual R&B song plays from her phone several times, as her eyes nearly pop out of her head while she watches.

You look up, mildly annoyed at the noise, but you were used to KK’s antics and her overdramatics. 

“What the hell is the issue?” you ask.

“Umm…nothing,” she drawls. “Be right back, girly pop. Don’t move.” She runs into Azzi’s room, where Azzi and Caroline were attempting to also be productive. 

That was damn near impossible when KK was around.

Your interest peaks as you hear the same music play from KK’s phone again several times over and the giggles and gasps of the three girls fill the bedroom. 

“Paige is gonna flip if she sees this,” Azzi says matter-of-factly, as you strain to hear the full conversation.

‘What would make Paige flip?’ you wonder. 

“I gotta show this to Ice!” You hear KK exclaim a little too loudly, causing the other two girls to shush her. 

KK runs back into the main living space of the apartment where you were sitting. She picks up her stuff with a shit-eating grin before waving to you and rushing out the door.

She was so fucking weird.

Giving up on the essay you were supposed to be finishing, you toss your laptop down and head into the bedroom where Caroline and Azzi are heatedly whispering. They stop as soon as your footsteps near the door. 

Why were they acting so suspicious?

“Ladies, would you mind telling me what the actual fuck just happened?” you ask sarcastically. Being out of the loop was not fun.

“Oh you know, just KK being KK,” Azzi said, brushing it off. “Nothing that concerns you really.”

“But it concerns Paige?” you prod, trying to get any information out of her. Being around Azzi for years at this point, you had grown to learn her weak spots. 

Your eyes narrow, and you stare her down in a way you could only hope was somewhat threatening. 

“If it concerns Paige I wanna know. We’re best friends, c’mon please,” you whine. “Is it another one of those thirsty edits?” 

Azzi shakes her head and makes a zip of the lip motion. 

You roll your eyes at her childish behavior and look over to Caroline expectantly. She just shrugs. They were no help at all.

“Fine!” You say with a tone of indignation. “I'll find that stupid tik tok myself and see what all the fuss is about.” You spin on your heels and walk out of the room with sheer determination. You miss the smirk Azzi and Caroline share once your back is turned. 

You were so fucked.

You type ‘Paige Bueckers’ into the tik tok search bar and begin to scroll with the volume up to identify the same sound blasting out of KK’s phone just a minute ago. 

Your head gets a little fuzzy as your vision is assaulted with video upon video of Paige. You were used to calming the jump of your heart when you were around her, but the hedonistic edits made you want to scream. Each edit you came to had clips of her flexing, grinning, and sticking her tongue out in a way that made you want to rub your thighs together. They were paired with lascivious lyrics that caused you to nearly let out a whine. 

You had been avoiding tik tok recently for this exact reason. Trying to act normal around Paige all the time was difficult enough. You did not need a ridiculous app to fuel the fantasies that threatened to creep into your mind at every waking moment.

At least your screen time was way down.

Your scrolling quickly stopped as you felt your heart quite literally stop. It was you. In all its glory, with a staggering amount of likes, comments, and views, was what looked to be an edit of you and Paige.

What the fuck?

Your hands shaking, you clicked onto it, hearing the same song as earlier. This was the one the girls were freaking out about. 

“Azzi, Caroline, get your asses out here,” you yell, trying to conceal your panic.

They slowly strolled out of the room looking worried. 

“I see you found it,” Azzi said with a laugh. “So what do you think now that you’ve seen it?” 

Both girls tried to gauge your reaction, but you were more concerned about the fact that Azzi had said earlier that Paige would be pissed about it.

You shrug. You had to choose your words carefully. “Well there are edits of you and Paige together,” you reason. “Lots of people think you two are in some secret relationship, and P has never minded. Why would this be any different?” 

“Everyone knows that you and Paige have a special friendship,” Caroline alludes. It goes right over your head.

“Well if she is bothered by this then we are not as close as I thought,” you say quietly, still watching the tik tok, as it plays again. You wanted this edit burned into your retinas. 

Occasionally you allowed yourself to feel a tiny sliver of hope that you and Paige could ever be anything more than friends. Everytime she gave you a late night cuddle or placed a hand around your waist, as if it naturally belonged there, made you long for more. You knew better than to feel hopeful though. This stupid edit did nothing to quell the burning need for the tall blonde.

Throwing your phone down, you look up at the two basketball players with a look of indifference you’ve learned to master. “It doesn’t even matter,” you whisper dejectedly.

“C’mon, we all know how you actually feel about Paige. She’s the only one dense enough not to see how crazy you are for her,” Azzi soothes. “Maybe it's time to be honest with her. You never know what she’s feeling until you talk to her.”

You laugh. Fuck that. Feelings are meant to be kept inside until you die or they go away. 

You’re hoping the latter will come sooner rather than later, but you doubt you'll get that lucky.

“I don't think so,” you scoff. “I need to go before Paige gets back.” 

You leave despite the protests of the two girls, and you make a plan to hide from Paige for the next few days. You knew it was only a matter of time before Ice and KK went running to Paige to show her the edit. 

45 fucking minutes. That was how long it took before your door was being bombarded by Paige and her delightfully rambunctious children, Ice and KK. You swore under your breath as you quickly weighed your options. Option 1 was simple: pretend you were gone, although the smell of your microwave popcorn could have easily given you away. Option 2 was the grown up thing to do: open the door and have a conversation like an adult. Option 3 was straight up crazy: jump out of the window and run for the damn hills. You glanced at the open window of your bedroom before shaking your head. You needed to stop watching too much television. 

Option 1 was it. Fuck being an adult.

You stood next to the door, waiting for the three girls to give up, but they refused to leave.

“I know you’re in there, c’mon let me just talk to you,” said Paige through the door. “KK and Ice can leave.”

You hesitate, but still reach for the knob of the door. 

“Please?” Paige asks again, causing you to let out a sigh of defeat and turn the lock so she can come in. 

“Are you pissed?” Paige questions, somewhat harshly, as she walks through your door.

You give her a look of confusion. 

“Of course not!” you exclaim. “I thought you might be, though. I heard Azzi tell KK and Caroline earlier that you would flip if you saw it. I was just worried it would make you feel uncomfortable, and then our friendship would feel awkward, and I-” you ramble, trying to make some sense of what you were feeling.

Paige cuts you off with a wave of her hand. “You could never make me feel uncomfortable. I was worried it made you uncomfortable. I wanted to come check on you as soon as KK showed it to me,” she replied gently. “Me and Azzi, we’re used to the rumors, but I wasn’t sure how you’d feel about people thinking we’re, ya know, in love.” She whispers the last two words as if it was some big secret.

You let out a shaky laugh. “It means nothing to me. That would be ridiculous anyway,” you lie smoothly. Burying your feelings for Paige was an artform for you now. 

A quick shadow of something that was hard to read flickered over Paige’s face. You chose to ignore it. ‘It’s easier that way, less messy and complicated,’ you thought sadly. Little did you know, things would get even messier and more complicated. 

Two days later you were sitting in class when you hear the same fucking R&B song playing from your classmates phone. You look over at her, meeting her eyes. She smirks and slides closer to you. 

“So you and Paige Bueckers, huh?” she says curiously, almost like a taunt. “I’d imagine she’s incredible in bed.”

Her hypothesis startles you.

Who the fuck says that to someone they barely know? You feel your pulse rise in anger, wanting to defend your friend. You feel hot with jealousy. Anyone thinking about your Paigey in a sexual manner made your blood boil. In your mind, she was only yours.

You decided it would be fun to play into it. You lean closer to the gossipy bitch, and with a whisper you say, “you have no idea the things she does to me. Fuckk, I mean, we’ve all seen the edits. Her tongue is always out.” The obnoxious brunette to your left looks shocked, and she rolls her chair further away from you. 

With a satisfied smirk, you try to calm the pounding of your heart. ‘What the fuck did I just do,’ you thought. Rule number 1 of being Paige’s friend and only her friend was to avoid thinking of her in the way you really want to. That means no fantasizing, no tik tok edits, and absolutely no talking about having sex with her.

You lay your head onto the desk. What an idiot you were.

As the class comes to a close, you escape quickly to avoid any awkward looks from other people on campus. The last few days have left you feeling unsettled as the edit of you and Paige reached ridiculous levels of popularity. Everyone was now thinking you were somehow involved. You hated how much you wished that to be true.

You had promised Paige that you would hang out once you were finished with your class, trying to keep a semblance of normalcy to your friendship. You rolled into her apartment anxiously, calling out for her. Paige pokes her head out of her bedroom, waving you in with an equally anxious smile.

This worries you. Paige was always the grounded one of the pair of you. Her nervous demeanor makes you think something is wrong. You take a deep breath before sitting opposite her on her bed. It smelled like the lotion she always wears, and you subconsciously inhale a bit longer than normal.

Fuck she smells so good.

Paige stares at you for a few seconds, making you feel hot under her gaze. Those eyes piercing into your soul made you want to scream her name until the neighbors could hear. She takes a breath. “So basically everyone thinks we’re in love,” she deadpans. Her nonchalance makes you squirm. How the hell does she feel about being uconn’s newest gossip train? It's hard to tell.

“Yeah, I kind of figured when I was just asked in class about how you are in bed,” you mutter, blushing at the confession.

Paige looks vaguely surprised at first, before replacing the look with a smirk. “What’d you tell ‘em?” she questions.

With a sudden surge of confidence that you typically only get from ample amounts of alcohol, you reply, “I told her that all those edits of you with your tongue sticking out could only mean one thing.”

Paige grins cheekily. “You’re not wrong. I am great with my tongue. Maybe one day I can show you.”

You think your heart had never beat this fast in your entire fucking life. You were still feeling particularly bold, so you murmur, “I’m free now?” There was no way Paige was going to agree to that, so you get up to leave, before you feel her hand grab yours, pulling you back into her.

“Don’t fucking play with me right now,” Paige demands. “Do you actually want this? Do you want me?” 

You nod your head embarrassingly fast. You felt like an overexcited puppy. “P, I’ve wanted this since the first time I saw you.”

“Good,” the blonde replies. “Me too. Now let me show you all of my little tongue tricks.”

Paige grabs your jaw with one hand, placing the other around your throat to keep you right where she wanted you. Your lips meet finally, and everything around you fades into nothingness. 

Oh my God, she tastes so good. Paige presses hot, open-mouth kisses down your throat, sending shivers through your whole body and right down between your legs.

“Need you naked for me, babe,” hums Paige. ‘For her you would fight a war,’ you thought, as you stripped your sweatshirt off, revealing the pretty pink lace of your bralette.

You mentally high five yourself for your underwear choices this morning. Showing up in your granny panties would’ve been terrible.

Paige helps you out of your jeans and starts placing tantalizing kisses over your inner thighs and stomach. You can feel your arousal leaking out of you already, making you feel slick with the anticipation of what was to come.

Paige notices the wet spot on your panties, grinning as she lightly blows air over your clothed pussy. You arch your back wantonly, needing more-so much more. 

“Please, Paigey,” you whine in a way that gives Paige a big head. “Need you so bad.”

“Use your words, baby. What do you need?” she coaxes, still alternating between kissing your inner thighs and swirling her fingers against your clothed clit. 

“Please just touch me, I’ll do anything for you,” you moan brokenly. You could feel yourself start to slip into some sort of subspace. At this point, you’d do anything just to get some more stimulation.

“So polite, aren’t you, babe? I’m gonna take good care of you,” Paige promises before ripping your soaked panties off in one quick motion.

For the first time, you were splayed out naked in front of your best friend, with her having all the power in the world over you. Before you could begin to feel insecure under her piercing gaze, Paige swirled two long fingers into your sopping pussy, admiring how easily turned on you got for her. She brought them up to her mouth, sucking them in and moaning about how good you tasted. 

“You taste as sweet as I’ve been imagining for years,” she whispers. “Have a taste.” She brings the same two fingers up to your mouth and drags them across your swollen lips.

You lick your lips and groan at the taste of your own arousal, wiggling around on the bed and humping the air to get any sort of pleasure. Paige presses your hips flush against the mattress, keeping you from moving. She was yours to control as she wished. Finally, she brought her mouth down to your burning heat, starting with a long and slow lick up your pussy. It felt so good you could cry.

“More, P, need more,” you cry. She was being a fucking tease, and you could feel yourself go crazy as she ate you out slowly, as if she was eating her last meal on earth.

She granted you some reprieve as she entered a finger and then another into you, slowly stretching you out with scissoring motions. 

“So wet for me, aren’t you my pretty baby,” she gloats, and you try to avoid rolling your eyes back into your head in pleasure. Her fingers pick up a cruel and punishing pace, targeting your g-spot as if it had her name written on it.

She fucking owned you.

Paige, still finger fucking you, presses kisses up your belly, onto your tits, before meeting you in another searing kiss. You want to sob at the sheer pleasure. It was overwhelming; the heat of your best friend’s body pressed flush against you, the moans ricocheting off the walls, and the tightening in your lower belly that threatened to spill everywhere.

“Fuckkk, Paigey, I-i’m gonna cum,” you moan breathlessly. “Please, please let me cum, please I need you,” you whine in an incoherent babble of pleasure. 

“Cum for me, baby, I’ve got you,” Paige pants out, riding the highs of dominating you and ensuring the unceasing assault of your g-spot.

With a guttural moan and a string of words that would make a sailor blush, you ride out your high. Paige’s fingers slow as you pant, coming back to reality. She watches your chest rise and fall a few seconds before removing her fingers from your fucked out pussy and licking them clean.

“You did so good for me,” she praises, causing you to squirm, activating your praise kink once again.

“Thank you,” you whisper. “This isn’t going to make things weird now, is it?” you question anxiously. That was the last thing you wanted to happen.

“‘Course not,” promised Paige, linking her pinky finger with yours. “I’m plannin’ on wifing you up now.”

You giggle as the last bits of awkwardness fall away, feeling blissfully fucked out. “What about you, though?” you ask. You wanted to make Paige feel as good as she made you.

“We’ve got all the time in the world, baby,” she replies. “You look like you’re about five seconds away from fallin’ asleep.”

You smile sleepily at her. She knew you a little too well.

 “I should send a thank you card to whoever made that edit of us,” you murmured against Paige’s chest, making her laugh.

“And I'm definitely getting rid of all three of my vibrators,” you announce, causing Paige to grin proudly.

Paige was unquestionably okay with that.

[nopanamaman]

Heyo. Sorry if I'm doing this wrong but i downloaded Tumblr because of you and your PAFL series. I've never been a fan of vocaloid songs but i listen to yours at least once a week. I was wondering if you took inspiration from anything when your songs lyrics?. I'm aware the setting is somewhat based on stalker but some of your Lyrics are honestly amazing. Ones like

"I've got no ammo but an ambition to fight"

Are so perfect. And they way your songs flow to seamlessly is great

Aaaa thank you so much! I'm really flattered you enjoy my lyrics:')

It's difficult to pinpoint specific inspirations, since I tend to simply write things that sound cool and roll off the tongue easily hahah

I know I spent a lot of time picking apart Pink Floyd lyrics in middle school, there's just so much unique and memorable imagery in them. They're smart, but never feel overly complicated or obtuse for the sake of being obtuse. I respect that a lot! There are lots of other bands that influenced me of course, but this is one of the first ones that come to mind.

There's also literature. I don't read as much as I used to, but whenever I do, I try to make mental notes on the cool turns of phrase I come across, unusual comparisons, meldic wordings. Same goes for movies, documentaries, Wikipedia articles - man, anything.

It's really banal, but I think just reading and listening to a lot of different stuff is the number one way to get a sense for metaphors and other types of expressive means. Literally anything can become lyrics material if you bend it into shape.

Personally, a lot of my lyric writing is working backwards from having a cool turn of phrase or reference in mind and figuring out how to work that into the lyrics in a way that makes sense. There's still a lot of Rhymezoning and Thesaurusing involved, but those won't help much if you don't have a certain library of ideas and expressions to pull from.

And sometimes even if you have plenty of reference material, nothing will come out sounding right. This was the case with the PAFL song I'm currently working on - I had a clear idea of WHAT it should convey, but everything I wrote sounded so trite. It's like my library ran dry or just didn't have the resources for this particular subject.

So I took a break from the song, consumed a shit ton of different media, took more mental notes - and whadya know, actually found the words I was looking for! And after I got the first couple of phrases down, everything else gradually fell into place as well.

It's a slow approach and is neither necessary nor applicable to every songwriter, but this is what I've recently figured works for myself.

[taminoarticles]

— Tamino for Milk.xyz, 2019 (x) (x)

Exploring Intentionality With Tamino

For this Belgian-born musician, every word counts.

10.1.2019 By Ella Jayes Photos by Dana Boulos

Tamino’s first New York show is sold out, and the crowd is enraptured. Throughout the performance, the audience seeks to establish a connection with the towering 22-year-old dressed in black. At every bout of silence, they ask questions, they request songs. “Play ‘Crocodile’!” one fan screams, and though he’s about to start another piece, Tamino switches chords and bends to our will. “I didn’t know that worked,” a surprised fan replies.

When he’s not touring with Radiohead’s Colin Greenwood, playing with the Nagham Zirkayat Orchestra or being personally requested to perform with Lana Del Rey, it’s just Tamino-Amir Moharam Fouad and his instruments.

When asked which guitar is his favorite, he answers like a proud father, “I can’t pick,” as he slings a black electric over his shoulder and secretly whispers “this one,” before heading into another song. Skipping octaves, his voice is like velvet, passing through Arabic vocal and tonal inflections.

Music is in the blood for the Belgian-born artist; with a name inspired by the prince of Mozart’s “The Magic Flute,” and a revered Egyptian grandfather nicknamed “The Sound of the Nile,” Tamino was born into music.

Before his show at National Sawdust and as he gears up to release the deluxe version of his debut album Amir [out October 18th via Arts & Crafts], we met Tamino at his hotel in Brooklyn. Just a day before the passing of Daniel Johnston, we spoke about the importance of authenticity in songwriting. We explored Tamino’s lyrical journey and the meaning behind his newest singles. It’s striking how thoughtful and specific he is with his words – in both his work and his spoken language.

So you have your show in New York tomorrow, you’ll be touring in the US and Canada, then you go into the Middle East, North Africa, and then the EU — you were also on tour at the beginning of the year as well. How are you faring with being on the road so much?

I’m very lucky because I have an amazing crew: my sound guy, my tour manager, if we’re with the band, we have a slightly bigger crew, we have two musicians and a backliner, and light guy [sic]. They’re all good guys; without them, I wouldn’t be able to bear it, I think.

I like being home; I like to be alone, and I like to write and work on music. So being away from that is sometimes hard. The good thing, and also, the kind of weird thing about playing shows is that you’re kind of dedicating your life to that: being on the road. You travel the whole day and then in the evening, you have your show. It all comes down to that. You have to make it work because otherwise it’s been for nothing, you know? You kind of push all of your energy into that, and you receive a lot of energy back from the crowd, which is what keeps you going, I guess; that interaction, the energy.

How do you recalibrate before getting on stage? How do you get in the correct mindset?

I do like to warm up my voice. I think that’s something that’s important. It’s good to get into the right mindset, and also to just get my body ready. Apart from that, I think am [sic] somebody who does well with routine, but right now I don’t really have one. When we tour, it’s not like we have the same production each evening. It’s like, “Oh, now we’re playing for 200 people...Oh, now we’re playing for thousands of people.” It’s always different from each other. Also backstage, it’s always different, so it’s difficult to maintain a routine. But I think maybe in the future, meditation would be nice, or just something to get me in the moment.

I must say I’m doing better and better on stage, in terms of being there, and not being stuck in thought. I did have trouble with that in the beginning; sometimes I was just thinking about stuff.

Like what?

Stupid stuff like tasks I had to do; nothing that has anything to do with the show. Hesitations like, “I wonder if the crowd is liking this or..” just stuff you shouldn’t be thinking about while you’re performing.

Lately, when I’m on the stage, I really feel like it’s not that much of a problem anymore. I can just let go. Those are the most beautiful moments, when you are really led by your own music; you just feel that the crowd is reacting to that, and I really like that; it’s something I’m always after. It’s kind of a transcendence feeling. If it works, it’s better than meditation, for me. My whole evening is different after that.

It makes sense, you’re fully in the present.

One of the main aspects of music is connecting with other people. Is there a specific crowd that really resonated with you? Or a specific fan, or show? I’m sure that they’re all great, but if there’s, one that comes to mind…

They’re all great, yeah, that’s the diplomatic answer. It depends, probably some cultures are more keen to show emotion.

What differences have you noticed between the crowds?

In Italy, they are very enthusiastic, but they are very respectful at the same time. It’s very special, they will be quiet for the whole song, and then they will want to shout, and they will throw roses at you, or whatever. It’s very romantic, the French are like that as well. In America, I feel actually very welcomed. It’s very inviting here, I don’t know how else to put it. I have the feeling, maybe I’m wrong about that, but as a European, it is like the new world, you know? And so many people move here. Of course, it was all a very long time ago, but people are still moving here. There are so many cultures coming together, and that’s why the crowd is very receiving. They’re open for other cultures; let’s say, it’s not an island.

I haven’t had many bad experiences, to be honest. I think I’ve been very lucky so far. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had a worldwide hit song or something like that. I think that’s the moment where you get crowds that are only there for that one song. And so far, I think I’ve always had crowds who have really invested in music. They’re there with a purpose, they want to experience something. Until I have this hit song, I don’t know if I’ll ever have one...I don’t know if I ever want one, to be honest, because of that reason...but until that time comes, I think I will always have good experiences.

What’s the first thing that you want to do when you’re done touring in December?

I’m moving to a new house. I feel like I just want to decorate the place. It’s the first time I will be really designing what it looks like. It’s in this very multicultural area, a lot of Arabic families live there, but lately, a lot of other Belgian families have been moving there. It’s kind of becoming this nice clash of cultures, and I like that. It feels like it’s a vibrant place.

Antwerp is very, very small. You can cross one corner, and then you are in a totally different area. It’s this very small area of a lot of cultures coming together and I really like that. I would say some parts are too gentrified, which wouldn’t have been a good place to go and live for me. It doesn’t really inspire, it’s not a vibrant place. It kind of feels boring.

In Belgium, lately, because it’s such a small country, it’s not difficult to become known, so they recognize me, or whatever. It’s not like they bother me, but I prefer to…

Just go about your day.

Yeah.

What are your inspirations for your new place? What do you like?

So many things, I know this designer he’s called Jan Jan Van Essche. He is really, really cool Of course his clothes, I love; I wear a lot of what he does. But the way he decorated his shop, and his office where he works and where he draws, it’s so beautiful. It’s a mix of, say a lot of different ethnical inspirations coming together with kind of a roughness, a bit more industrial. But very humble. It’s a very humble appearance. It’s not too over the top.

You have two new songs, “Crocodile” and “Every Pore,” but only the former is out at the moment...do you want to talk about them?

The second one’s out next month. They’re both quite old songs. So when I chose to record for my album, I had a lot of songs, and I chose these possible candidates for the record. Those two made it to the last 15-16 songs I would say. But then, in the end, they fell out. When I listened to them again, and sometimes I played them live, I always had a good reaction on the songs.

I really like them, I just think they’re true B-Sides; they are kind of odd songs in comparison to the other ones. I really felt like I wanted to release them anyway, so with the deluxe version, I felt that was a really good opportunity. With the song we just released, “Crocodile,” for me it was very weird listening back to the song. I wrote it so many years ago, and it kind of perfectly talks about the situation I’m in right now, not literally. You have this crocodile, and he looks at the songbird and offers the metaphor. Crocodile could be the person that has yet to be awakened, and the songbird is what he could be.

I guess any artist goes through that; you see a version of yourself, you want to strive forward, but you also know everything that comes with that because of history, because of stories you’ve heard so many times. And you know that there is a truth in those stories because they happen over, and over, and over, and it can happen to you as well.

I read in another interview that you said “Someone can play three chords or maybe even one chord and move me. It’s because of the person that plays it, and how they play it.” When’s the last time that happened to you?

Let me check my Spotify because I always forget whatever I’ve been listening to lately.

Okay, my daily mixes are the singer- songwriters from America, the new ones, the ones who are still alive. Then, the ones who are a bit older, or dead. And then Arabic music. The more Alternative stuff, some Hip-Hop, all kinds of stuff.

Do you know The Disintegration Loops by William Basinski? It’s crazy. So he has tapes of existing music, and he manipulates them. But this one was broken, and it just kept on looping, and every time it looped, it got more broken. During this session, 9/11 happened. So he was looking, out and the album cover is a photo from where he was working.

It’s the same thing over and over, but it moves me like crazy. Do you know Daniel Johnston? I think what’s so cool is that he’s not a virtuoso, but he moves me more than 99% of all virtuosos.

He’s authentic.

Yeah, he’s authentic...how do you say it? We say, he has (literally translated) “saying power,” power in what he says... His songs are beautiful, the lyrics are heartbreaking…

What are you reading right now?

I just started A Brave New World which is cool. I think he was really young when he wrote it, it’s just insane to realize he wrote it then. It’s so accurate. If there were people who wanted to create this Utopian society where everything is perfect, it would be like that. I haven’t read 1984 though which is similar I think.

Your writing is very rooted in emotion. I’m assuming it could be cathartic to perform, but I’m wondering if there’s ever been a moment where it felt like too much.

I’m not sure. I don’t think so, actually. Maybe like once or twice, it’s usually when you just finished writing a song, and you perform it for the first time, that’s usually a very special moment. I don’t really feel like it’s ever too much though, that I can’t play it.

I feel like there is also a certain sense of letting go once you’ve performed it. Once you’re ready to release it to the world, you’ve almost come to terms with whatever you were writing about.

Absolutely, that’s true. You realize it’s not yours anymore. Have you listened to Mount Eerie’s record, A Crow Looked at Me? He had a child with his wife, and then his wife died. It’s really, really terrible. That record is really beautiful. I’ve never seen a concert of his, but he did this concert in the Netherlands once in a church, and that was so emotional for everyone there, apparently. If I listen to that record, I’m always wondering, “Whoa, how does he do it?”

You’ve previously discussed the idea of letting go of performing the exact recording of your work, and moving more towards letting the music evolve through playing it. Has there ever been a time when you’ve wanted to change a lyric or something?

Of course, I mean, it’s actually funny because in the foreword of Brave New World, Aldous Huxley is talking about looking back at old work, and you, of course, want to change stuff, but that it’s also beautiful in a way, that you cannot.

And it’s this moment in time, where you were that person back then, and you were that kind of artist back then. I think some of the lyrics on my first record are very naive and very bold, in a way. Naive is kind of the more negative way of looking at it, and bold is the more positive way of looking at them.

Probably, I’m less naive in my songwriting right now, but I’m also less bold. That’s something that I feel right now, the older you get, the more you think; you have more in your archive, you overthink. But, I have no trouble performing those older songs. Even if I’m not very proud of certain lyrics, I still feel totally behind them. I’m still comfortable representing those songs. I stand behind them.

Because your words are so intentional, when you’re actually writing them, is there a revision process or do you just kind of get tapped into something and write?

I hope to just write, and then stuff happens. The lyrics, I go over and over it, until they are just right. So far I’ve written more out of music. So the music came first, and then the lyrics. I’ve done it the other way around as well, but I feel like those initial melodies and structures, they’re always the best when they just come out of this flow.

It’s like a gift, you just have to be open to receive it. I went to see Nick Cave, and he said such a beautiful thing. He said there’s no such thing as writer’s block; too many people think that there’s something inside of them that they need to get out, but it’s actually something that’s out there that needs to go through them.

If you are open for that, so if you try each day, then eventually those things will flow through you. Or maybe you’re in a certain moment in your life, where it’s not really going through you.

Last question – if music did not exist what would you do?

I wouldn’t know. I did acting and theatre when I was a kid. I really liked that, it was my first passion. I like writing as well. As long as I have a creative outlet, then it’s fine.

CREDITS

PHOTOGRAPHER: Dana Boulos

PRODUCER + EDITORIAL DIRECTOR: Ella Jayes

HAIR + MAKEUP: Heather Rose Harris PHOTO ASSISTANT: Henry Fey

Special Thanks to Studio Blackheart, Nicole Prokes, + Chris Swainston.

[d0ll-partz]

Week 5

Treasure Home Rehearsal

17/10/22

The track is very high energy so delivering an engaging performance and maintaining our levels of energy throughout the song is definitely going to be a challenge. Trying to sing the right notes and moving around a lot onstage is a tricky skill to master and the harmonies are very complicated, they used pedals on the original track to layer Bruno Mars' vocals into a four/five part harmony. They are difficult because the notes all sit so close to one another that they're very difficult to pick out in the mix.

Pre prod

19/10/22

From a performance perspective i think we did very well to keep the audience entertained and we had fun with it. Focusing on improving dynamics is our goal for tomorrow’s session, mostly toning down the verses in comparison to the chorus, which is a great thing to note and carry forward to my Summative if I decide to do Celebrity Skin as the song is has quite a few dynamic changes. (LO2, LO3)

The vocals went relatively well apart from the massive voice break in the second verse (ew!!!), and towards the end you can hear in my voice that I'm starting to struggle for breath, I’m going to look at more vocal exercises that focus on breathing because that’s also a very big issue for me in Celebrity Skin as the phrases are so long that you don’t have much time to pause for breath. (LO2) It was really nice to have some engagement from the other people onstage and the audience today though and that’s my favourite part about performing!! :D (LO3)

20/10/22

Treasure Performance

The vocals sounded a lot better today and my voice didn't break this time yay! The two step during the choruses looked a lot neater and there was a lot of communication between the band which looked great from the audience but I screwed up the timing of my little intro dance move thing. The backing vocals sounded a lot better today with Lulu singing the call and response parts and harmonies. We had kind of weak start to the song and the rhythm section was quite messy as the drums and guitar were slightly off, I personally think we did it better yesterday. We worked on the dynamics so the builds into the chorus sounded more satisfying and we all had a nice little jam at the end! (LO2,3)

Band Stuff

This week I also started doing some rehearsals outside of our LPW tracks with a new band Lenny & I (lennyguitarman aka my smelly boyfriend) are trying out! We started by looking at a song that Lenny & I wrote a few years ago while we were in college, he wrote all the guitar parts & I wrote the lyrics and vocal melody but the drums and bass were both up for interpretation. I was considering using this song for my Summative (Lenny is) but I wrote it specifically so it would sit in a very comfortable place in my range and the song just doesn't show off my vocal abilities well enough to use for the assessment. (lo2) It's been a great experience working with new people on old material because it really helps me to highlight everyones strengths. Toby's new bassline is mega cool and Rei added his own flair to the rhythm guitar, it was a strong rehearsal!

We need to focus on our dynamics going between different sections, make the changes noticeable and intentional. (LO2)

[writingwithciara]

Unsaid Emily ~Griffin Gluck~

summary: griffin fell in love with his best friend and he never got the chance to tell her. so he wrote a song for her, with some help from a friend

word count: 2.4k

pairing: griffin gluck x reader

warnings: death, swearing

a/n: based off Unsaid Emily by Charlie Gillespie, from Julie and the Phantoms. i know that in the show, Luke writes the song for his mom but i wanted to switch it a bit. i did change a couple of the lyrics so they fit a little better to the scenario. also, while writing this, i had to get over my "dislike" of the song & that was hard to do (it's not that i actually dislike the song. it just makes me sad listening to it. brings back some sad memories)

masterlist

It had been 2 long months before Griffin found the will to get out of bed again. 2 long months of not being able to do anything. Two long months of not seeing her around anymore.

It was a hard adjustment, not just for him, but for everyone else that was in her life.

Although he had gotten out of bed, Griffin found it even more difficult to follow his regular routine. Everywhere he looked, he saw her face. But then again, how could he not?

She had lived in the room across from his for years. Her pictures were up on the walls and their apartment still had traces of her smell lingering around. Of course, after the funeral, the first thing he did when he got back was grab her perfume and spray it all over everything so the memory of her would never fade away.

He didn't know he'd start to regret it almost immediately.

As he walked into the living room, he heard low voices. Fearing someone had broken in, he grabbed a book off the table in the hallway & picked up his pace a little. He was relieved to see y/n's younger brother David, who was his other roommate sometimes, talking to one of his friends. When Griffin set the book down, he made a noise and David looked up.

"Hey, man. How are you feeling today?"

Griffin just shrugged and headed into the kitchen. "I'm fine, I guess." he muttered. David and the other guy followed him and leaned against the counter, watching as Griffin searched for something to eat.

"I haven't seen much of you in 2 months. I don't think you're okay."

"Of course I'm not okay. The only person I've ever loved was killed by a drunk driver just over 2 months ago. It's taken me so long to finally admit to myself how I felt about her & on the night I was finally going to tell her, she left us. I was with her when she took her last breath. I told her I loved her but she was She never knew I loved her & I'm not okay with that."

"Oh, Griff. She knew."

"What do you mean?"

"She knew you loved her."

"How could she have known? I barely knew."

"A few months ago, she came to me & told me about what you had been doing for her. Things like leaving out some water and tylenol when she drank too much, learning hoe to play her favorite song on the piano, making sure she had everything she needed whenever she was sick. You used to come home from work and cook her favorite meals from scratch just because you thought it would cheer her up. There has never been anyone in her life who cared about her as much as you. Trust me, she knew about your love."

"I really wish I would've at least kissed her. Man, I really loved her. I still love her & I'm never gonna get over her."

"She would want you to be happy, Griffin."

"I know." Griffin shook his head and looked around the apartment. "I just don't think I can do that. She was what made me happy and even if I do find someone else, it will never be enough to fill the void. Nothing will ever be the same again."

"I know, buddy. But you just gotta give it time. Maybe write about how you're feeling. That might help & it could possible preserve your memory of her even more."

"I guess you're right." he walked into the kitchen. "I'm gonna order some food. You guys want some?"

"We're actually about to head out now. But thanks for the offer." David and his friend walked to the front door. "You know you can talk to me anytime, right?"

"I'll keep that in mind. Thanks man." Griffin stood in front of y/n's bedroom door. When he heard the door close, he looked at a picture of y/n on the wall and thought back to the day he realized he was in love with her.

"Hey can you help me run some lines for the show I'm auditioning for?" Griffin sat down and held out a copy of the script. Y/n took it and skimmed through it.

"Are you sure you want to practice with me?"

"Yeah. Why? Is it bad?"

"You haven't read it yet?

"No. My agent just sent it to me an hour ago." he chuckled. "Why? Is it that bad?"

"It's really....romantically intimate."

"I don't care. Are you cool with it?"

"Yeah." she smiled. "I'm fine with it. I was just checking."

"Okay cool." he smiled and watched her begin the scene. He zoned out quickly and mised his cue.

"You okay, Griff?

"Huh, what?"

"It's your line now, weirdo." she giggled.

"oh, right. T-thank you." he looked down at his script and read through his line.

They practiced the scene for hours & ended up staying up all night, despite his audition taking place in the early morning. Even though he was tired, he went to that audition. Unfortunately, he didn't have enough energy & he also did not have enough chemistry with his scene partner to get the part.

When he got home, he told y/n the news.

"Oh, Griffin. I'm so sorry. You'll get the next one. I'm sure of it." she pulled him in for a hug and he rested his chin on her shoulder.

As he did so, he began to think back to the scene they practiced. It was a scene for a tv show where the 2 main characters were really close and were always playfully flirting with each other without realizing it. They were clearly in love & it didn't take long for Griffin to realize that's how he felt about y/n. They had always flirted with each other but it was always friendly & neither of them thought it had any real meaning. Until now.

"Did they at least tell you why you didn't get the part?" y/n was not showing any signs of letting go of the hug so Griffin held her tighter.

"Apparently I didn't have enough energy and chemistry with my scene partner." he chuckled.

"That's bullshit. You have so much energy all the time. As for the chemistry, I can't help you with that."

"Too bad they probably wouldn't let you into the audition with me. We had plenty of chemistry while practicing."

"Hey, maybe next time they'll make an exception." she smiled.

"Thanks for always being here for me, y/n. It really means a lot." he pulled away from the hug to get a good look at her. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for the girl standing in front of him.

"God, I wish you were still here, y/n. I love you so much." he walked into his room & sat down at the desk. Taking David's advice, he decided that writing something would help him get rid of some feelings. He settled on writing a song.

After a couple of hours of writing, and a ton of failures, he set his pen down. The lyrics he had written down this time looked odd to him but he wasn't an expert so he needed a little bit of advice. He picked up his phone and facetimed Sabrina. When she answered, Griffin looked at his paper again.

"Hey, what's up Griffin? You alright?"

"Well, not technically. But I wrote some lyrics for a song & I'm not sure if it's good or not. I was wondering if you could come take a look at it and let me know."

"I would love to, but unfortunately, I am out of town. Can you send me a pic or read the lyrics out to me? That might help."

"Yeah, sure." he glanced at the paper and began repeating the words to Sabrina. "If I could take us back, if I could just do that. Write in every empty space, the words I love you in replace, maybe time would not erase you. If you could only know, I'll never let you go. And the words I most regret are the ones I never got to say."

"Wow."

"What do you think?" he nervously bit his lip as he waited for her reply.

"That was incredibly beautiful, Griffin. Is it about y/n?"

"Yeah. David told me I should write about how I feel & that it might help me get over her. But that's really hard to do. I really loved her."

"I know, man. She was very special to all of us, but really special to you."

"Can you do me a favor?"

"Anything. What is it?"

"Can you write a little more to the song and add some music to it? I would love to hear how it sounds coming from someone with some musical talent."

"Of course I can do that." she smiled. "I'll get right on that & I'll call you back when it's done.

"Thank you, Sabrina. This might actually help me. I'll talk to you later. Bye." he hung up and threw himself on his bed. This was not going to be easy.

Griffin was home alone and asleep when his phone started going off. He checked the caller ID & hesitantly answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello. Are you, Griffin Gluck?" a female voice asked through the speaker.

"Yeah. Who's this?"

"I'm Lindsay. I work at West Valley General. We have you as an emergency contact for a young lady here by the name of-"

"Y/n? I-is she alright?"

"I hate to be the one to tell you this but there was a big pule up on the highway. She was in it & right now, she's not in good condition. I suggest you come see her before it's too late."

"T-thank you, ma'am." he rushed to put some clothes on. Griffin hung up the phone and raced down to his car. He drove as fast, and as carefully, as he could.

When he pulled up to the hospital, he didn't even wait for his car to stop completely before he was hopping out and running in through the front doors. The lady at the front counter stood up.

"Griffin?"

"Yeah. How did you know?" he stopped to take a quick breath.

"I have y/n's personal items and the lock screen is a picture of you and her smiling at each other. It's cute."

"I forgot about that photo." he sighed. "What room is she in?"

"Room 211A. I'll take you there." she walked around the counter and went down a hall. Griffin followed her quickly.

They got to her room and Griffin looked in. It didn't look like y/n to him. The person laying in the bed was pale & and had cuts all over her arms and face and she was hooked up to multiple machines. She looked nothing like the girl he was in love with.

"I'll give you a minute alone with her." Lindsay, he presumed, left the room and he stood by y/n's side and held her hand gently.

"If you were awake right now, I know you'd be cracking jokes. That's just how you are." he chuckled through tears. "You can't leave us, y/n. We need someone as great as you in this world. We're not ready for you to go. I'm not ready."

"Mr. Gluck, I presume." the doctor entered the room and looked at him.

"That is correct, sir." Griffin wiped his face and looked up at the doctor.

"I'm really sorry to have to tell you this but we've been keeping your girlfriend hooked up to this breathing machine only long enough for you to come say your goodbyes."

"So you're saying there's no hope?" Griffin chose to ignore the fact that the doctor called y/n his girlfriend. He didn't think it mattered to bring it up that she wasn't.

"Unfortunately, no. We tried everything we could. I am so sorry."

"Alright, thank you doctor."

"I'm going to give you 5 minutes to say your goodbyes & then I'm going to unhook her. It's not guaranteed that she'll die right away. The maximum I've seen someone continue living after being unhooked is 2 hours, but she could last longer than that."

"We'll see." he sighed and looked back at y/n. "You are so loved, y/n. I'm so sorry this is happening & I wish it was the other way around. God, you are the most incredible& selfless human being I've ever met & I wish I was able to tell you that I love you so so much." he kissed her head and noticed that the monitor beside her bed started beeping frantically. Seconds later, he was being lead away by a few nurses. "I love you, y/n. I'm sorry I never got to tell you."

And that was the last time he saw her alive.

While he waited for Sabrina's addition to his song lyrics, he decided to take a walk throughout their apartment. Griffin knew it would hurt him but he also knew it was something he needed to do.

Inside her room, there was tons of pictures of the two of them. Some of them were goofy and others were serious. But there was one in particular that stood out. Griffin picked it up delicately and stared at it. They were happy here, in the photo. David took it of them one day at the beach. Griffin had his arm around her shoulder and her hand was on his chest. She was looking at the camera but his eyes were fixed on her. The moment made his heart melt.

He gently rubbed his thumb over the glass when a stray tear fell on her face.

Her beautiful face, he thought.

It wasn't long before more tears fell and he collapsed on her bed, holding the photo close to him. His phone rang and rang but he ignored it every time.

Nothing could bring her back physically and he was thankful he still had all of his memories.

[mintelepathy]

"From now on, you won't be alone anymore"

idol!jungkook x reader/oc

word count: +2.0k

genre: fluff¿

warnings: swear words¿

summary: jungkook can't stop thinking about the girl he met at a convenience store in the middle of the night and he can't help but return to see her again.

mlist

Jungkook can't sleep today, he's been sitting on the floor of his living room for almost three hours now, a piece of paper placed on his coffee table and a pen in his right hand.

Writing lyrics was easy when he felt inspired, but today it wasn't the case, he really wanted to make some progress with his mixtape but it seems that it wasn't the right time now.

He gave up. He knew that his attempts to write some lyrics were in vain for the moment, he needed to do something else, maybe something that could inspire him.

He often goes for a walk at night around his neighborhood, the later it is the better for him, it's the only time of the day where he doesn't feel like being spied, he understands what fame brings but sometimes people really step out of the line, and he wasn't happy with that, let's not misunderstand, he loves when fans approached him respectfully and talked to him, he just doesn't like when people follow him around with bad intentions.

He didn't even waste his time changing his clothes, he grabbed a coat because it was chilly outside and headed to the streets.

The night was quite peaceful, mostly because it was 3 in the morning, but it was a different kind of peace, and he enjoyed it. Trees filled the area where he lived creating a gentle wind, feeling the night breeze was something he loved, he stopped walking for a moment and took a big breath with his eyes closed. The air felt clean compared to other days.

When he opened his eyes the first thing he spotted was a convenience store crossing the street. He usually doesn't have any late snack, even more now that he is on a diet, but today he'll make an exception.

He made his way to the store with no rush and opened the door, it was his first time there, it wasn't like he didn't visit convenience stores often but that he had never seen that place before the times he went for a walk.

He greeted the girl who was working there and headed straight to the shelves looking for kombucha tea and ramen, he had the intention of eating the ramen there since those kind of stores had microwaves, so people were able to prepare their instant food and eat it right away.

But there was a problem, the kombucha tea was nowhere to be found.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the counter, you found yourself watching the boy who just entered the store looking around the shelves for something unsuccessfully, you decided to make your way towards him to see if he needed any help.

"Excuse me, do you need help with anything?" The boy was wearing a big black bucket hat and a black face mask so it was quite difficult to see how his face looked.

"Uhm yeah, do you sell kombucha tea?" It was crazy how kombucha tea was being sold lately.

"Yes we do, but it's sold out at the moment, I heard somewhere that a singer recommend it and people got really interested and bought it until stores ran out of it" a giggle escaped his lips.

"I think I know who you are talking about" he took off his bucket hat to fix his hair, and put it back quickly. You could see his eyes for a split second and you felt like you have seen those eyes before, they were so big and pretty, like bambi eyes.

"Oh really, who is this famous singer then?" You knew you have read or heard about this guy but you couldn't remember his name.

"Jungkook" there it was when you realized.

"You are Jungkook" he just nodded. "I knew you seemed familiar" you confessed. "Anyway, is there anything else I can help you with?" You asked politely.

"Can I use the microwave?" He was the first person who asked you if they could use the microwave, people often just used it without asking.

"Yeah, of course" you made your way to the counter again and sat in your chair.

You couldn't help but watched him as he prepared the ramen, working there, and at night, was boring as hell so you never missed the opportunity to talk to customers when you had the chance, but you weren't quite sure if you should go and try to have a conversation with him. You didn't want him to think that you were approaching him just because he was famous.

Seeing him preparing ramen made you feel hungry, you also wanted to eat some so you didn't think twice and went to grab a cup of ramen.

He was sited just right besides the microwave so it was impossible to ignore his presence. You saw that he forgot to grab chopsticks so you picked two pairs from a shelve.

"Here" you said as you handed him the chopsticks.

"Thank you" he gently grabbed them, he had taken his bucket hat off so you were able to see him more properly now. "I see you are hungry" he said and you smiled.

"Yeah, I've been staring all night at those cups of ramen and I couldn't hold myself when I saw you preparing it" you said calmly trying to make him feel comfortable around you.

"Should we eat together then?" His question took you by surprise, he was being so sweet considering you were a completely stranger to him.

"I don't think I'm allowed to do this, but yes" you sat on the only chair left, which was besides him, and waited until your ramen was done.

"Would you get in trouble for eating with me?" He sounded concerned.

"Just if my boss finds out, but he is never around and almost no one buys things at this hour, so I don't think he'll know" fuck your boss, you didn't really like him, he was really rude to everyone.

"Well, in case your boss finds out, I can come and tell him that it was all my fault" it was the second time he made you smile.

You were ready to get up when you heard the microwave was done getting the ramen cooked, but Jungkook got up faster and brought it for you.

"Thank you" you said as he sat again, you both opened the chopsticks and started eating, even though he could start eating his ramen sooner he waited until yours was ready.

He obviously wasn't wearing his face mask anymore so you could see his features clearly. He was stunning. "What brought you here so late?" You asked him to start a conversation.

"I was trying to write some lyrics on my apartment but it didn't turn out how I wanted, I also couldn't sleep so I decided to take some fresh air, then when I was walking I saw this store and well, now I'm here" he took another bite of ramen. "Do you work here all night?" He asked you.

"Yeah, until 6am, it's kinda scary going back home alone after work because I have to walk and it's still dark outside when I leave, but anyways i'm here just during the weekend tought, I'm studying at collage so actually this is a part time job for me, I don't spend too much time in here" you could noticed he was really paying attention to you, he stopped eating everytime you talked.

"Can I know what are you studying?" You didn't know if he was really interested or if he was just being nice, but you were so happy now that you could spend some time talking with someone.

"I want to major in audio visuals, my parents weren't happy when I told them what I was going to study, they wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I didn't listen to them, is that a bad thing?" You asked him, you barely knew him and you were already asking him for advice, considering you didn't have close friends maybe you really needed a therapist to talk this things after all.

"I think you did the right thing, it's your life, you should do things that makes you happy" he made emphasis in the you part. "And you will learn from the decisions you make, not from other's" wise words.

"What about you? Are you happy with the life you have right now?" Both of you had already finished eating, so you were ready to listen to him closely.

"I am, I'm not happy everyday but I'm happy with my life so I can't complain, I just sometimes wish I could do things that are normal for most of the people" you completely understood his point, and you felt sad for him, everyone deserved that kind of freedom and you can see he couldn't have it.

"You know, when I saw you preparing the ramen I really wanted to talk to you because that's what I do with most of the people who comes here, but I was afraid you might think I only approached you because you were famous or something like that. So I just want you to know that even though I know your name or your face, it doesn't mean I know who you are, and for me you are just like everyone else, I won't treat you any different just because you are famous, I won't go and tell everyone that you were here or anything like that, I also know I can't take you to do all the things you'd like to do, but one thing I can offer you is an honest friendship, I bet Jungkook from bts is great, but if I'm honest I don't really care about him, I care about the real you and I'd love to get to know you more, I met you just a moment ago but I can see you are a really good person" everything you said was the truth, and he had to know that there was someone out there who cared about him. That's how you were, you cared about others.

"It's the first time someone tells me something like that, I really appreciate it" you would love to say that his words surprise you but they don't, and that's sad.

"I think I should go back to work right now" he nodded. "Oh and you don't have to pay, I invite" and with that you went back to the counter.

He stayed on the chair for a few more seconds doing something but you didn't know what because you could only see his back from there.

He got up later and made his way to the door. "Thank you for make me some company, see you soon" you didn't have time to say goodbye to him because he had already left. Have you done something wrong? You asked yourself.

Time passed and it was time to go back home, your coworker came in time so by 6am you were already out of the store, you didn't start walking though, you couldn't believe who was in front of you.

"Jungkook? What are you doing here?" Was he waiting for you?

"You said it was scary going back home alone, so from now on, you won't be alone anymore" it seems that you actually didn't do anything wrong after all. "I left a note on the table we shared" oh shit, you didn't see it.

"I didn't see it, sorry" you were about to go and look for it but he stopped you.

"It's okay, don't worry. It just said that I'd love to have you as a friend, and since you invite the ramen I hope you can accept my invitation to drink something some day" he seemed shy now, maybe that's why he didn't tell you this in person.

"Yeah, we can definitely go to drink something together, and as friends now" you smiled at him as he bite his lip cutely.

"Should I take you home now? You must be tired"

Yes you definitely were.

"Let's go" you said as you both started to walk next and close to each other.

There was no way you would forget this night.

♡

I hope you enjoyed reading this one

A like or reblog is always appreciated :)

[pillow-anime-talk]

his talented baby. {pt.1}

synopsis: You as a person with a huge (and hidden) talent, and also a girl who really surprises your boyfriend.

# tags: scenarios; current relationships; romance; fluff; some PDA; sfw

includes: female reader ft. ken kaneki & nishiki nishio {tokyo ghoul} + yuuma isogai & itona horibe {assclass}

— KEN (ft. singing)

Your closest friends invited you to a popular karaoke bar on one Friday night to celebrate a successfully passed semester in college. Of course, you couldn’t forget about your lovely boyfriend, who was at the same university, but in a different field (i.e. Japanese literature) and always supported you with all his might, knowing how much you want to do your dream job in the future.

So you went to the meeting together, and on the way to the designated place you talked all the time about what the next year of study would bring you. As soon as you reached the room where your three closest besties and one male friend were waiting for you, you both greeted them warmly, immediately taking off your thick coats and taking your seats on a soft, leather couch next to a table filled with tasty-looking snacks and colorful drinks.

Long minutes of conversations between the six of you resulted in drunk plenty of alcohol and blushes on the faces. After drinking, you always got more talkative and more self-confident, so you suggested using the TV and the karaoke machine. Of course, you first offered your friends and Ken to sing something, but they all declined, saying that you should start as an initiator. One of the girls, blonde-haired Minami, smiled at you with a sparkle in her pretty golden eyes, adding that you are the best in this and you should show how to do it correctly. You chuckled in response, waving your hand at her to dismiss compliment.

Kaneki, on the other hand, frowned as he looked at the boy who was sitting on his right.

“... Oh, you don’t know? Y/N-san hasn’t yet praised herself to you that she has a wonderful voice? Huh, huh.” The black-haired boy shook his head, reaching for the glass filled with blue something again. “Hmmm, well. Normally Y/N’s very shy, but she always sings at trips when she’s drunk.” He chuckled while you picked one of your favorite songs in the meantime. So everyone looked at your standing figure, then heard the characteristic sounds from one of Selena Gomez’s songs coming from the gray speakers.

“My dear, I dedicate it to you~!” You looked with joy on your face towards the eighteen-year-old, giving him a quick wink, and then you started your little performance with ‘Love you like a love song’ from the above-mentioned artist.

Your friends didn’t seem surprised and instead started clapping to the beat of the music... but Ken’s eyes widened and he spat out his high-percentage drink, not knowing how to react to the fact that for nine, long months of your relationship, you concealed the fact that you could sing so well and so beautifully. Your voice was perfect for the song that was playing now, and you seemed to be having a great time – there was a huge smile on your lips, your eyelids were slightly closed and your hand was over your heart. If it weren’t for the fact that you were at a karaoke bar, everyone would definitely think you are playing a concert on the biggest stage in Tokyo city.

After the song was over, another girl got up to present a completely different choice, and you handed her the dark microphone, bowing in the process.

Kaneki still seemed speechless and as soon as you sat down next to him, he immediately kissed you on the warm forehead, asking you to sing more to him, especially when you two are going to be alone, because he probably fell in love with you once again and just wanted to experience that love every day thereafter.

— NISHIKI (ft. ballet)

Nishiki, as a pharmacy student, didn’t have much time for extra-curricular activities or unnecessary meetings; in addition, the fact that he was a bloodthirsty ghoul and had to watch over himself made it difficult for him to function normally in the life of Kamii University. However, the brown-haired man always found time for you, for his beloved girlfriend.

You had been dating for over three, long years, and the man definitely couldn’t imagine his own life without you by his side. You knew each other better than anyone else in this world, but sometimes some tiny things of your ordinary day eluded Nishio; of course you understood it perfectly and you weren’t angry or disappointed with him. After all, he had to protect himself, you, take care of his specific menu, be vigilant at every step, and additionally he had to pretend to be the perfect student, senpai (or kouhai) and friend of other people.

So you weren’t surprised when one day you handed him a silverish ticket for probably the most important show of your life and he just looked at you in wonderment. At the beginning, the twenty-year-old asked if it was a performance related to singing or playing an instrument due to the fact that the colorful paper didn’t tell him too much, but you just smirked as you tweaked the unruly, soft hair on his head.

“Hmm. If you don’t remember what I do in my free time, it’s even better, I guess. Come and see it for yourself, honey. I think that thanks to this you will even calm down a little and rest due to the recent weeks.” You announced in a light tone of voice, and the young man sighed under his breath.

“So... I’ll find out in three days, am I right?” He made sure by correcting his glasses and you nodded, then grabbing his rough hand and kissing his cool cheek. A short while later you suggested going to your apartment and catching up on a few episodes of your favorite series that you started quite recently.

The anticipation of your important day passed very quickly and on Saturday, at 6 p.m., when everyone took their seats (with your boyfriend sitting on one of the balconies with the best view of the stage), delicate music was played in the theater, which made everyone shiver on the whole body. Until then, the brown-eyed boy somewhere in the back of his head had the impression that it was a theater performance or an opera, but when he saw your person appear on stage in a beautifully tailored dress and ballet shoes, all the questions that flickered in his mind disappeared in literally one second.

‘Well, yeah. I remember now. She always told me about ballet classes and new shoes.’ A huge, proud smirk came on his pale face and you glanced out of the corner of your eye towards his VIP seat.

Though your expression was cold and composed, you felt an enormous heat in your small heart as the man waved at you, showing two thumbs up. His lips moved even slightly, and although Nishiki tried to hide it, you knew perfectly well that the pink blush and mute ‘I love you’ was sincere and even better than being able to play Odetta, the White Swan, in a ballet spectacle.

— YUUMA (ft. songwriting and guitar playing)

Christmas at school was never what you enjoyed; maybe due to the fact that before, your classmates on main campus were quite specific and you definitely didn’t fit with their strange ‘ideals’. It was only in the class E that you felt that you could find real friends or people who would share your ideas.

But, hmm. Still, you seemed to stand out from the rest of the girls in the class who had more... down-to-earth hobbies or characters than you; Okuda liked chemistry and was really excellent at it, Kirara loved reading, Rio was the best at English and had a great sense of fashion, and Toka was pretty good at cooking. Contrary to them, you preferred to... do more ‘intimate’ things. Writing short poems filled your heart with peace and prevented you from being as critical of yourself as usual. And when you wrote the lyrics of the songs, made notes or melodies to them and sang quietly, you could feel like a real artist that everyone wanted to admire and imitate.

Therefore, when your first and last class holidays with the rest of the 3-E students were fast approaching, Koro-sensei was the one who asked you for a short talk. You weren’t sure what this was about, but moments later your uncertainties were dispelled.

“Y/N-san, I think you mistook your notebooks today and instead of giving me your homework, you gave to me... this.” He said in his as always happy voice, and seeing the black notebook in which you always wrote songs and notes, you blushed all over your face, apologizing profusely for the mistake. “Huh? But this is no mistake, my dear. If it weren’t for this, I would never even think that we have such a talented soul in Class 3-E. So would you like to perform in front of the rest of the students and teachers during the holidays?” The easy question made you widen your eyes and sighed.

“I-I’ve never played in front of anyone, so...” You admitted shyly, and the tall, yellow octopus just chuckled.

“I’m pretty sure they will love it. We can practice together.”

Well, you couldn’t refuse (especially when Koro-sensei offered to bring your favorite, foreign snacks...) and on class Christmas day you showed up with your acoustic guitar and a notebook full of chords and songs. Everyone was surprised and curious at how well you play guitar. After all, you’ve never even mentioned that you can play any instrument before. On the other hand, the class representative, and your boyfriend at the same time, immediately came up to you, asking if you were really okay; better than anyone else, Isogai knew that you didn’t like too much attention and big crowds. But you reassured him it was okay and promised your teacher you would do it, so you smiled at him and then took your seat under the blackboard with a wooden guitar on your lap.

The song you chose for the day was a song you wrote quite recently. It had a little bit of magic, and at the same moment it seemed very romantic and delicate. Even Karma seemed delighted with your beautiful play and soft voice that echoed from time to time between the walls of huge classroom.

At the end of the song, you decided to raise your gaze and simultaneously look at your all friends, three teachers and other half; everyone was really happy and positively speechless. So you gave Yuuma a slight wink, making him blush sweetly.

The young teenager definitely hoped you would show him more of your songs someday, not necessarily the happy Christmas carols Kaede and Ritsu asked for.

— ITONA (ft. dancing)

“... You never mentioned that you can dance.” He admitted softly, and you squeezed his smooth hand tighter.

“So... I mention it right now. It’s not a big deal, baby. I just ... like it and enjoy it a lot.” You giggled as you correcting the black sports bag over your shoulder, then opened the heavy door to the training room, immediately jumping up at the sound of loud squeals and greetings from your closest friends. “Guys, this is Itona Horibe, my boyfriend that I told to you before! Love, it’s Aki-chan, Yui-chan, Kazuya-kun, Saburo-kun, and our cameraman and editor Ryuu senpai. Most often, the five of us cooperate with each other when it comes to dance in groups of five people. And... today we are going to cover a song so I hope you’ll like it. I’ll go change and you all, please, don’t scare my boyfriend and give him something to drink!”

As a group leader, you often came up with choreographies and warm-ups for yourself and others. So, it couldn’t be otherwise this time. For the last week and a half you have been practicing the choreo you came up with and today you were supposed to record material for the video on your quite popular YouTube account. You were extremely excited, not only with the new content, but most of all with the fact that your beloved one would be able to watch it live and evaluate your skills that have been refined over the years. So as soon as you got back to the teens waiting for you, you kissed the light-blue-haired quickly on the right cheek and told him that he could sit against the wall, close to the table full of snacks and the contact for charging the phone.

Then you talked with everyone for a while, doing a short warm-up and reminding the cameraman about how to move the cam. A few short minutes later, you lined up in the middle of a huge white room with Ryuu in front of you. You knelt down in the center, of course, gently moving your shoulders to calm your rapidly pounding heart and heavy breathing, and when a song by Ariana Grande started playing all over the bright room, you all looked at the already activated camera, shaking your heads and then you got up from the wooden floor.

Itona... was speechless. He has never seen people dancing before, he has never even been interested in others, only you and what you like. Today he got to know your little passion, which turned out to be a breathtaking talent, and the boy wondered if you could do anything else; are you good at one specific dance genre or are you able to move your body in a completely different rhythm than he currently saw?

From Koro-sensei’s history lessons, when you two were in junior high, the eighteen-year-old remembered perfectly well that there is also classical dance, tango and breakdance. So could you also do that? He had to ask you about it later.

But now his curious gaze was focused on you and your huge, radiant smile, and the sound of feet hitting the ground. He also looked at your legs, tiny hands, stomach, and hair, while he wondered if he might learn to dance too, to be even closer to you and your hobby. After all, you looked so beautiful and so joyful... He wanted to share these emotions.

[awanderingdeal]

Happy birthday, Finnegan.

I was writing this in the office at work the other day and my manager asked what I was doing and I answered that I was writing a story for my friend for their birthday because I didn't want to tell her I was writing fanfic. So, in true being friends with Lucy style, this is two days late. Sorry! No matter what, the creation of this character deserves to be celebrated.

This is set in an AU universe where the cubs are out.

CW: Food talk and a brief mention of alcohol

Rating: G

Please message me if I missed any content warnings or you think I need to change the ratings.

All characters (except Bailey, she's mine) belong to @lumosinlove.

“Friday night and the lights are lowwww, Looking out for a place to goooo,” Finn spun around the island, the wooden spoon at his lips providing the perfect microphone for his rendition. He halted in front of Logan, laughing at what he could tell was a disgruntled expression despite most of his face being covered by the hoodie he’d pulled tight around it, his hands covering the bottom half. “It’s my birthday, come and dance with me,” Finn pleaded, tugging at the overhang of Logan’s sleeve.

“Non, it is too early,” Logan grumbled. “Dance with Knutty.”

“Knutty is busy.” Finn threw a glance over his shoulder at Leo, smiling at the sight of his boyfriend humming to himself as he moved gracefully at the stove. Leo turned to meet his gaze, his damp hair forming golden curls that Finn thought made him look like a cherub.

“Here,” Leo tipped his head at the freshly prepared coffee. “Coffee’s ready, you can caffeinate him. Just needs sugar.”

Finn pressed his lips to Logan's forehead. "If bring you coffee will you dance with me after?" Logan huffed but nodded, pushing his hands through the holes in his sleeves to receive the steaming cup.

"Okay, deal, but I'm starting the song again." Finn's grin was met with a low groan. After drawing the drink out as long as he could, technically, Logan did fulfil his promise, standing to reluctantly move his body to the music.

Finn saw the exact moment Logan chose mischief, his bright green eyes lighting up even more than usual. "Catch me and I'll dance with you properly."

Finn raised an eyebrow, matching Logan's fast walk around the island. He was the first to risk Leo's wrath, picking up the speed to a jog, and took advantage of his longer arms to close the gap.

"Got' cha," Finn grasped Logan around the waist, Logan's head tipping back in an uncharacteristically bright laugh as Finn reeled him in. "You are the dancing queen, young and sweet," Finn sang loudly, spinning Logan away from him and pulling him back when their fingertips threatened to split.

Logan placed his palm on Finn's chest, letting himself be rocked to the music. "You should be singing this to Leo, not me."

Finn glanced down at Logan and despite the fact no words were vocalised in that moment, their eyes said a lot. In an almost synchronised moment they turned their gaze to Leo.

"Nutter butter," Finn said. "It's your turn to be serenaded."

"Oh no, what a shame, breakfast is ready," Leo smirked, pouring a generous helping of maple syrup over one of the bagel stacks; Logan's. Finn considered protesting, but the sight of his own plate was too tempting.

"The serenading will recommence at a later time," Finn insisted, grabbing one of the plates and carrying it through to the dining table. They didn't eat here often, preferring either the island or the sofa, but today it had been decorated with balloons and presents had been piled at the end.

***

"That was amazing, thanks Le." Finn already missed the stack of bagels; bacon and a poached egg layered between them, and dripping with hollandaise sauce. "Can I know what you've got planned now?"

"No problem, anything for the birthday boy." Leo swallowed a bite, sliding one of the wrapped boxes towards Finn. "We told you, it's a surprise. You can open presents though."

Finn worked his way through the gifts, too many of them from Leo and Logan. There was nothing extravagant but they seemed endless and each one reminded him how much they knew him. His favourite chapstick. A crate of beer from a craft supplier he really enjoyed. A set of massage oils and a promise to help him use them. Some monogrammed golf balls. And his favourite, a handwritten letter from the both of them that he would treasure forever. He read the cards from the rest of the team through damp eyes.

“Can you tell me the plan now?” Finn asked the question again once he’d worked his way through the gifts and the cards. Logan dragged his lips against his teeth, as if he was physically keeping the words from spilling from his mouth.

“Don’t give us those bambi eyes,” Leo shook his head, throwing a balled up napkin in Logan’s direction, the item hitting him square in the forehead. “Don’t you dare tell him.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

“I can tell you want to,” Leo retorted. “We have to clear up first. Put the music back on. I want to dance now.” It was much later that Finn came to recognise this for the distraction technique that it was, hence the three of them were arguing over the lyrics to Montero when the sound of the doorbell rang through the apartment.

Finn opened the door, a bounce still in his step and swaying his hips to an imaginary beat. He blinked at the figure in front of him, closing the door for a second before opening again. “Alex!” Finn pulled his brother into a tight hug, slapping his hand on the broad of his back. “Sorry, I thought I was hallucinating. What are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to see my baby brother on his birthday, obviously,” Alex laughed, squeezing Finn back until he struggled out of his hold.

“But,” Finn spluttered. “You were in Florida yesterday? I saw your Insta story.”

“I caught the first flight this morning, I’ve got to be back tomorrow for a photoshoot.”

“That’s crazy,” Finn said, shaking his head. “You’re crazy.” He tugged Alex inside, leading him down the hall into the kitchen. “Look who’s here!”

“Hey Alex,” Logan thrust his fist for Alex to bump his fist against. Finn looked between Leo and Logan, both of their faces showing no sign of surprise.

“Did you know?!”

***

It took a while for Leo and Logan to convince Finn they didn’t need to come along and he should spend time with Alex, but now they were alone, he was realising exactly how much he had missed his brother. The conversation flowed easily, Alex having almost an entire lifetime of practise at following Finn’s leaps in topics.

“So, I booked us in for a pottery class,” Alex glanced at Finn briefly before setting his eyes back on the road. “I thought you’d like that. It’s very tactile, y’know?”

“Nice,” Finn grinned. “I’ve always wanted to do that. I hope you brought spare clothes with you, because things are about to get messy.”

It was true. Finn had binge watched The Great Pottery Throw Down, so he knew learning to make even the simplest of things would be more difficult than it looked, but somehow the two of them managed to get the clay everywhere.

“Alex, that's too fast!” Bailey, the instructor warned, but it was too late. The clay sloped to the side, thinning out as it flew off the wheel and hit Finn on the cheek.

“Oops,” Alex grimaced. “Sorry, bud.”

Finn sent a mock scowl in his brother’s direction as he peeled the clay from his skin, dumping it back on Alex’s wheel. However, O’Hara’s were nothing if not perfectionists, and the two of them were determined to create something good. Neither of their first bowls came out right; Finn’s was too tall and thin, Alex’s was short and thick. When they tried again, Finn overcorrected, creating something that resembled Alex’s first. Alex’s second attempt was going well until it spontaneously collapsed.

“Third time’s the charm,” Alex huffed, manipulating his clay back into a lump to try again. He was right, giving a triumphant smile as he watched the grey ball transform. His work wasn’t as good as the ones filling the shelves opposite, their price tags indicative of the skill that had gone into them, but it was relatively smooth and definitely a bowl.

Finn whistled through his teeth, admiring Alex’s work. He laughed as he looked down at his own third endeavour, a small stumpy thing that could perhaps hold five Cheetos. “I tried.”

“Hey, no,” Alex argued. “Give it another go if you want. You’re nearly there.”

Finn rolled his shoulders back, pursuing his lips with determination. Alex watched Finn push his foot on the pedal again, his elbows tucked into his torso as he worked the clay.

“That’s it, apply a little more pressure on the bottom than the top.” Alex encouraged him. Finn smiled, his brother was always his biggest supporter. It reminded him of the time Alex had watched him tie and re-tie his shoelaces over and over again until he’d finally mastered it and could prove to their parents that he was ready for that new pair of sneakers.

“I guess I’m not needed here,” Bailey joked. “ You’re looking good, Finn. How about you two wash up and I’ll get those mugs you wanted to paint. We’ll get these in the kiln later and they’ll be ready for collection in a few days.”

Painting the mugs was a much more relaxing process, both Finn and Alex decorating two mugs each, one for each of their partners. Bailey sat with them and Finn watched in awe as she quickly made stencils whenever they needed assistance getting the designs in their heads onto the ceramic. By the time they’d finished, the three of them had come up with an elaborate plan for Alex to get back at his team mate for filling his hotel room with balloons and Finn concluded that Bailey was the coolest person ever.

“Damn,” Alex glanced at his phone. “It’s nearly 4. Let’s get you back to your boys before I start getting threatening messages from Tremblay.”

“Trust me,” Finn snorted. “It’s Knutty you need to be scared of.”

“Crazy goalies, am I right?”

***

“Wait, why are we at the aquarium?”

“You’ll see.” Alex’s smirk was infuriating. Finn craned his head forward, excitement bubbling inside him. Alex rolled his eyes as the engine rumbled to a stop. “Go on then,” he said, tilting his head towards a modern looking building, all glass and sharp angles.

“You’re coming as well?” Finn asked when Alex slid out the car too, locking the sleek black rental behind him. “Not that I mind.I just thought you had a flight to get?”

Alex shook his head. “ No, I’m not staying for long. I want to see your reaction though.”

“My reaction to what? We all know I love the aquarium but I’m not going to explode or anything.”

“I told you, you’ll see.” There was that smirk again.

Finn held in the urge to stamp his foot. “Urgh! You’re so annoying.”

“Love you too,” Alex laughed, pushing through a set of tall glass doors. A sarcastic quip rested on Finn’s tongue, but it shattered as he looked up to see Leo and Logan waiting in the entrance, backpacks slung over their shoulders.

“Lo! Knutty!” Finn jogged the short distance, “I missed you.”

“Glad to know I’m such good company,” Alex deadpanned.

“It’s only been a few hours,” Leo chuckled, accepting Finn’s hug. Finn smiled, lifting his head for Leo to place a soft kiss on his lips. “Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah, we went to this pottery studio, and then we got burgers and shakes like we used to when we were kids,” Finn nodded. Oh! I made you something.” He turned to Alex who had stepped into place beside him, holding his hands out. Alex grunted, but pulled the tote bag from his shoulder, placing two carefully wrapped items into his hands. “Open it!”

“Alright, give us a chance, Harz,” Logan laughed, tearing at the delicate tissue. Leo was much more methodical, peeling back the layers neatly enough the paper could probably be re-used.

“Did you do this?” Leo looked between the mug and Finn. He ran his fingers over the shiny glaze, a dark blue with tiny white stars scattered over. Inside, a moon phase created a border around the rim.

“I didn’t make the mug. We made bowls, but they won’t be ready for collection for a few days. I did paint it though. With some help from stencils. There’s a little note in the paper somewhere.”

“I couldn’t bring you the real ones, but hopefully these will do,” Leo read, his voice cracking slightly towards the end of the sentence. “Finn.”

Logan whined, the sound curling in the back of his throat. “It’s your birthday, you’re not supposed to give us things.” The mug he held had been painted white and the words ‘sweet like honey’ written over it in Finn’s neatest attempt at cursive along with several bees.

“Do you like it?” Finn rocked on his feet and Alex knocked their shoulders together, a small gesture of reassurance. “Look it’s you,” he pointed out a bee that had a small red cap on its head. The French left Logan’s mouth so quickly Finn couldn’t even begin to parse the words, let alone make any sort of effort to translate them.

“He’s mad that you are making him emotional in public,” Leo provided at Finn’s distressed frown.

“Aww, you do like it,” Finn grinned, wrapping his arms around Logan.

“Be careful! You’re going to break it.”

Alex cleared his throat. “As beautiful as this is, I’m going to have to go soon, so if we could do the big reveal?”

“Alex,” Finn almost growled. “I swear I will phone Nat - wait, what big reveal?”

Leo swung a backpack off his shoulder. Finn only now realised he was carrying two, one of which belonged to Finn. “We’re staying at the aquarium!”

“Well, yeah? Why else would we be here?”

“Non, Harzy, “ Logan laughed. “We’re sleeping at the aquarium. Overnight. Under the shark tunnel to be precise.”

“Oh my fucking God!” Finn couldn’t contain his grin as pulled Leo into the hug too, “Is this a joke? This better not be a joke.”

“Fish, there are children around,” Leo scolded. “And no, it’s not a joke. That would be mean.”

Finn let his boyfriends go, spinning around to face Alex. “Al, are you sure you don’t want to stay? This is going to be so cool!”

“I really have got to go soon,” Alex shrugged, a soft smile on his lips. He jerked his head in Logan’s direction. “Somebody count how many times Finn screams though, please.”

***

“Look!” Finn gasped, pointing up at the glass tunnel above where the three of them lay in their sleeping bags. “It’s a nurse shark.”

Logan rolled over, propping himself on his elbow and looking at Leo. “We’re not getting any sleep tonight are we?”

“I don’t think so.” Leo chuckled, shaking his head. He pointed to the tunnel. “What’s the weird looking one, Fish?”

“That’s a wobbegong, they blend into the sand,” Finn answered, curling into Leo’s side. Logan lay back down behind him, having offered Finn the middle spot for tonight. “This has been the best birthday,” he sighed happily.

“Happy birthday, Harzy,” Logan squeezed his hand through the layers of their bags. “Tell us more about the sharks.”

[debiteful]

Are you still doin' writing requests? If so, could you write about a giant finding a borrower, with some unintentional fearplay on the giants part?

Content: apparent threat of harm, size difference (Giant/tiny), fearplay, hand held, crying, trapped under a bowl, ends on a positive note

Taking on a renovation by yourself was a monumental task. Thankfully the boundless strength of a giant made it much easier. Will spent weeks planning everything before he was finally ready to begin.

He started with the floors, tearing them up bit by bit. Beneath the boards there were scraps of fabric, bits of metal that seemed to have once been staples, and even an old cereal box. At first Will assumed whoever had built the place had been careless. As he progressed and found more trash, he began to see patterns. Strategic cuts in the cardboard here, nails running in a diagonal line without securing anything, and other such seemingly intelligent designs. 

Though it was odd, it helped click some puzzle pieces together. Rustling in the panty, socks disappearing, and soft yet shrill noises in the night. Something tiny was living in his home. By the looks of it they were taking things for their own purposes too! Nothing important of course, or he might've noticed sooner.

Now he had more planning to do. After all, he was tearing apart their home too!

Skip berated herself for the hundredth time for sticking around after that bean began tearing the place apart. Safe hiding places were growing fewer by the hour it seemed. It was impossible to predict where it would go to next, meaning she had to move all the borrowed things hastily. Already she had left a lot behind, and, to make matters worse, it had been found. Thankfully the bean hadn't seemed to catch on.

On the bright side, the renovation left lots of building scraps. Most helpful was the chunks of insulating foam. They were easy to cut and carry, and they could be used to build all sorts of things.

Presently Skip was trying to move them into the shed across the back lawn. She'd never lived out there because the temperature fluctuated too much. With insulation it might be bearable, and it would certainly be safer than in that madbean's house!

Unfortunately, the main house was still the best place to get food. Skip would wait somewhere secure in the evening until she heard the bean go to bed, then sneak out to get what crumbs she could. 

Tonight, a fallen cracker tempted her, but it was the crushed cereal on the counter that would be doable to bring home. She darted out from behind the toaster towards it, but she didn't get far.

Something caught her leg. As she fell, there was a grating sound. Then darkness. Something had landed atop her! A bowl? Probably.

Skip walked slowly with her arms out as feelers. Upon reaching the edge she tried to get her fingers under it and lift. That failed, of course.

She tried to fight back panic. Her shim and pry bar lay securely at home- this was supposed to be a quick in and out job! Essentially equipmentless, there were very few options. 

She took in a deep breath, releasing it slowly. Mind a little clearer, she searched her memory for what direction she must be facing. Slowly she walked around the edge of the bowl to the side closest to the edge of the counter. At least, she hoped it was. 

Pushing with all her might got her nowhere. Getting a running start for the shove did about the same. Soon, Skip was throwing herself at the bowl in desperation. 

Battered and exhausted, she sunk to her knees. Body and tears fell to the countertop.

The rest of the night was spent filled with tension. Every sound was certainly the giant coming. Paranoid thoughts spiraled, centered around what the giant would do to her.

When at last Will did come, the sound was unmistakable to the trembling borrower. She had heard those thunderous steps a thousand times.

Skip envied the ease with which the giant lifted the bowl which confined her. Tilted up on one edge, it could now shove its gigantic hand beneath. She couldn't help but utter a little shriek as fingers as large as her groped around blindly. She didn't dare try to dart through the gap lest the bowl snap back down on a limb.

Dodging the fingers was difficult with no sleep or breakfast. The tip of one brushed her leg. The whole hand rushed her. A massive thumb pinned her to the pointer finger.

The bowl lifted slowly, so she had ample time to imagine the look on its face while she struggled. Her heart was racing wildly. Tears threatened to well up, but she had spent most of them through the night. Stinging eyes locked on to the enormous face.

The giant had quite the satisfied grin splitting its features. Its eyes flicked side to side as the giant took in its captive.

Likewise, Skip's eyes darted frantically. No sign of a weapon. Then again, with teeth and hands like these, it wouldn't need a weapon. Gracious it was absolutely gigantic up close, larger than she had ever thought.

The thunderous voice she had heard dozens of times was deafening at such a close range.

"Hello there," Will said in awe. The borrower was silent and flinched. He frowned and spoke more softly, "Who are you?" 

Even at a dull roar the sound was too much. Skip growled like an animal and bit at his knuckles. He inhaled sharply and adjusted the hold to pin her head. It wouldn't take much for those fingers to crush it.

Will put her in the jar he had for this purpose. Being moved through the air was a disorienting and unpleasant experience. If she was lucky, she would be too dizzy to see whatever killed her coming. Skip was genuinely surprised when she landed on something soft in the bottom of the glass.

Left on the counter, she didn't dare take her eyes off of her captor. He bustled around the kitchen humming softly. She was familiar with this habit of his- the sound echoed through the walls in the evening. For the first time she heard the lyrics of his little ditty, "Gonna cook you up, gotta cook you right up! First I gotta chop you up, then plop you in the pot to cook you up!"

Hearing the giant narrate his process sent a dreadful chill through her. He was going to cook and eat her!! 

More vigilant than ever, her gaze never left him. Eyes locked onto the shining blade of a knife pulled from the block. Watching the vegetables get chopped up brought to mind terrible images. The ease with which the bean could toss a heap of food into the pot brought to mind just how small she was.

Finally, the tears spilled out. Where they had been held in reserve, she had no idea. Frantic little hands rubbed one eye at a time. Delicate fingers brushed away tears without obstructing her view too much.

By the time the food was filling the air with its aroma, she still hadn't stopped crying. She watched through bleary eyes as he filled a ladle with the sauteed vegetables and brought it over. So she wasn't to be cooked: he was going to heap scalding food onto her! 

Skip scrambled to one side of the jar and slid her back up the wall. That one scoop wouldn't be enough to bury her here. 

Her warped upturned face looked back down at her as the ladle lowered. The giant stuck it right into the jar, then let go. What was its angle? 

Tearing her gaze from his intent face, she eyed the handle of the ladle. Yes, it should be doable. Three bounding steps took her to the ladle. Using her momentum she vaulted over the bowl of it and grasped the flat handle. Like she had done hundreds of times before, she shot up the metal beam.

Just as she reached level with the lip of the jar, the giant reacted. He shouted, a deafening thunderclap. Those enormous fingers engulfed her momentarily, then they knocked her back into the jar. Now one hand lay over the mouth of her prison, effectively sealing it.

Will crouched, bringing the jar to eye level. He spoke gently, "Hey, aren't you hungry? I don't know how long exactly you were stuck on the counter." When she didn't respond he pressed on, "I promise it's good. I didn't know if you ate meat, but I figured veggies would be a safe choice. Hope it's okay that it's cooked- do you cook? Oh nevermind, it doesn't matter. Hey- can you understand me?" As his eyes scanned for any response, he finally noticed the red eyes and wet cheeks, "Oh no, have you been crying? Why? I didn't hurt you did I? Oh- I might've scared you… I'm really sorry little one."

Skip listened to his continuous ramble. It almost sounded good natured… Could she have been mistaken? A small bubble of rage rose up and erupted, "Wouldn't you be terrified if some gigantic brute trapped you and started singing about cooking?!"

Will frowned in dismay, "I didn't think about it like that."

"Beans never think," she screeched, "They just kill."

The frown deepened then flashed to a smirk, "Bean? Is that what you call us? Why?"

Skip rolled her eyes. What a dumb question! ….why did they call them beans? That didn't matter right now. 

She walked over to the ladle and picked up a spear of carrot. One eye still on the giant, she took a bite of the tender veggie. 

He gave a big grin, "Is it good?"

She nodded, honestly a little surprised. "So, why did you catch me? Why feed me too?"

"Well, as you've probably noticed, I'm doing a little work on the house. I found some of your stuff and I worried I might accidentally hurt you. Considering you've never introduced yourself, I figured just asking you to come out wouldn't work. I wanna help you move somewhere safer- whether it's temporary or not is up to you."

"My name's Skip," she piped up.

"Oh, mine is Will," he said with another big smile. His teeth were hardly threatening now.

She smiled back. "Oh! Actually I was already in the process of moving most of my stuff."

"Really? Where?"

There was a moment of hesitation; her distrust of beans ran deep. "Your shed, outside."

"All the way out there?" His eyes widened. 

With a barked laugh, she nodded, "Yeah its pretty far. Not ideal, but I haven't a clue where you're going to strike next."

The harsh choice of words made Will frown a little. He recovered quickly though, "Well now you have the inside scoop! The entire upstairs is going to be left alone. There's also the kitchen. I- well, I still don't know what sort of places you like to live, but I'm sure there's some somewhere around here.

Skip considered her options. The upstairs was rather far away, but it was a big area so safer. The kitchen was prime territory for food and other bits n bobs, but the giant would frequent it. He seemed nice enough, but one encounter couldn't undo a lifetime of learning.

"Up the stairs should do nicely," she trailed off, already scheming on how to move all her stuff.

"Alright! Sounds good. So, is there anything I could help you move?"

The response was an absent nod before she realized what he asked. What was his angle? "Oh! Um, I guess."

They discussed what exactly needed to be moved and where. Though she was on her guard, Skip didn't notice anything untoward. The move went just as smoothly. Soon she was settled into a secluded gap beneath the floor, where she had moved all her stuff herself after he brought it to a nearby location.

By the end of it, Will was very pleased with himself. He had begun to make a new friend. What's more, she was his neighbour! He felt more at ease knowing she would be safely out of the way of the renovation.

[tobioslune]

liquid courage

Paring: Iwaizumi Hajime x gn!reader

Genre : fluff, comfort? college au kinda, best friends to lovers, mutual pining, Iwaizumi being soft and a simp

Warnings? : implied drinking, (aged up), cursing (from the lyrics), a little smooch 

a/n: This is a draft i started in january but things happened that made me leave it for about like four months lol (if u wanna know what happened while i was writing this you can read it here lol also you could see how i wrote / continued writing it here ) but! im finally finished and im pretty proud of it even though its lowkey all over the place :>> please do check out the song bc it slaps and it’s really good lol okay that’s all for now hope you enjoy <3 (last notee: likes and reblogs are really appreciated!!)

▶ now playing : drunk - dijon 

You and Iwaizumi have been close friends since highschool, and feelings may have been caught during that time. With the reason of not wanting to ruin the relationship you’ve built with him, you tried to brush it off. And like every other trope where you fall for your best friend you expected that he wouldn’t feel the same way.

Surprisingly both of you ended up going to the same university, and you were able to hang out and keep in touch with each other. Everytime you think you’ve set those feelings aside, whenever some romantic tension presents itself, it bubbles up inside all over again. Like an annoying weed that keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to get rid of it. 

School and other work has been pressing on you for the past few months and you just keep getting into a slump. No matter how hard you try, you find yourself in the same place you were over and over again. Iwaizumi noticed this and really tried his best to help but he’s also caught up with a ton of things. 

O baby, I’m lonely and I’m fucked up by myself

 Could uu come here?!  

It was 1am on a Saturday and Mattsun called you. You were working on an essay and it was super unexpected. It was able to shake you from the somewhat trance you were in while trying to think.

“Hey y/n-san I’m so sorry to call you at such a late time and most probably not so nice notice, but is it okay if you pick-up Hajime here at our usual place? Hanamaki and the others have already left and theres a paper I need to take care of, and you’re the only one I could think of.”

“Oh, it’s okay. Did Hajime drink too much like last time?” You think to yourself, ‘How stubborn, I’ve told him last time to be mindful of how much he takes because of his low tolerance’  You found the thought quite amusing.

“He sure has. When will you be able to get here by the way?” Mattsun replies.

“Give me about 15 minutes, it’s not so far from where I live anyways. Can you keep him company for a little while longer?” you tell him. This would be able to get your mind off the stress and exhaustion you’re in hopefully for a little while. Besides you haven’t met him in person for about month so it would be nice to see him again.

“Yeahh I can do that. Thanks again by the way y/n.”

“Suree, anytime. Okay see you in a bit, bye”

“Bye.”

The train stations are already closed at this time, and it would be too much of a hassle to take a cab to and from where he lives so it probably would be best that he crash at your place instead.

You straighten a few things up in your apartment and proceed to grab a jacket, your keys, wallet and your phone, placing it into a small purse. As you closed the door you could already feel a rush of cold air surrounding you.

The walk there was quite refreshing and you felt much better than you did earlier. As you arrived there you could see Mattsun waiting in front. You smiled as you walked toward him. It took him a couple seconds to recognize you as you came into view. 

“Heyy, hope I didn’t take too long” you said as you greeted him with a hug. 

“No, it’s all good you actually arrived faster than I expected”, Mattsun replies returning your smile. 

“He’s inside by the way.” gesturing with the back of his thumb.

“Okay, I’ll go take care of it from here” 

“Thanks again, apologies if it interrupted anything important.” 

“Like I said, it's alright! I got it.” you assure him.

You both bid your goodbyes and you make your way inside the homey bar. There he was, head resting on his right hand and glass of water in the other. You figured he sobered up at least a little bit. 

You let out an amused sigh, “Oh Haj, I’ve told you a couple of times last time to watch it, right?” You took a seat in front of him, leaning your head on your hand. He laughed a little at the statement made. “Sorry y/n, got a bit caught up and forgot.” 

Letting out a low hum you respond, “Anyways, ready to go?” 

“Yeah just give me a moment.” His head was still pounding from the drinks.

I’M WASTING and I’m anxious; I’m fading from myself… 

You placed his arm around your shoulder in an attempt to keep him upright and stable as you walk. Compared to him he was obviously heavier making it difficult for you to even make it to the door, you were basically stumbling out, but somehow you were able to manage and he was at least trying to cooperate even when everything was practically hazy for him in that moment.

---------- 

You fell for him, and little did you know he did too. You’ve known Hajime as reserved, reliable, firm, caring and surprisingly stubborn at times. He knew that if he told his friends and teammates they would tease him and make it more obvious that's why he kept it in a never said a word. 

He liked you, he liked you so much, but sometimes you just seemed so out of reach to him. Loved by almost everyone, you were beautiful, charming and just overall amazing to him. There were times where he really tried to deny his feelings, his emotions, toward you but whenever another guy would be around you he just can’t help but want you all to himself.

--------

As school progressed your schedule became more hectic and your assignments started to pile up. It felt like an endless mess and an inevitable disaster. He saw how stressed you were but he felt a bit helpless because he didn't know what to do. He couldn’t really help you because of your different courses and besides he wouldn’t even know what to do. As time went on your hangouts became lesser and lesser and sometimes you'd even be too busy or even too tired to chat with him. You would try making plans but your group mates would suddenly set up meetings or deadlines would abruptly be sent and given. 

Although he has tried reaching out, because of how busy you were he was left alone with his thoughts and feelings and he tried to make sense of how he really felt. He wanted to avoid thinking of you but that became difficult for him when almost everything reminded him of you…

“They would have liked this..”, “I should probably ask if they ate.”,  “This would be such a nice gift for y/n.”,  “I wonder what they would think of this.”, it just felt like never ending thoughts of you.

---------

When Matsukawa and the rest of the old team from Seijoh offered him to hang out and catch up he couldn't say no. By going he would be able to hang out with them and it would hopefully be a distraction to help get you off his mind. He knew you were busy and in his head he thought that maybe you didn't like him the say he does. You ran circles around his mind and at time he’s just feel so conflicted and confused.

In the end he got wasted, he felt faded, and just wanted to feel ok. He accidentally ended up telling the boys out of frustration that he had feelings for someone which left him with mixed emotions at times. They found this quite surprising because who would get him so hung up and drunk like that.

COULD U COME HERE?! And say u’ll stay the night 

Although you reminded him last time you went drinking to watch his intake you were still shocked that he was so drunk he could barely think straight. The cold air and silence filled the walk and everything in some way felt alright. You felt at peace and his presence made everything feel comfortable even if you were practically carrying him.

He sighs, “Hey I'm sorry I dragged you into this mess I accidentally let myself go back there again.” 

“It's ok, I mean that's bound to happen to everyone at some point I've got you  don't worry it's fine.” you respond.

“Where are we going, by the way?” He asks.

“I'm taking you back to my place, I mean if you don't mind. The subways are closed and the taxis are hard to come by at this time.” 

“Oh ok, it's fine, I mean I have nowhere else to go to anyways and I don't really mind,”  He says with a flustered laugh.

As you keep walking you pass by a convenience store you both frequently used to hang out at when your schedules weren't so busy.

“Hey Haj, we should stop there for a while just so you could sober up a little more. Also I’m a bit hungry anyway,”  you suggest.

“Yeah good idea, besides you must be kind of tired trying to carry me around for this long.”

You both make your way to the convenience store and you tell him to sit outside while you buy something for the both of you.

 Cause it’s been a while, since I've seen u smiling! O baby, could u come down? I think I’m freaking out! And I’m drunk! 

You step inside and the warmth of the shop embraces you. You then proceed to get some meat buns, and two coffees. As you go to pay you take a glimpse outside to check up on Iwaizumi and to your surprise he was already looking at you. You quickly turn away and you feel a small blush attempting to creep up on your face, but you shake the thought away as you make it to the counter.

You finish paying and walk over to where Iwaizumi is sitting and you place the food down on the table. Handing over a meat bun and a coffee to him, you sit down and sigh in satisfaction as you bite into yours. Somewhat comfortable silence fills the space and you absentmindedly process everything that happened.

“So, how was the hang out with the guys? I haven't seen them in so long. You sure must’ve had fun...” You say in the hopes of making things a little less awkward and quiet.

“Oh yeah it was great.” He replies with his mouth still with food, you laugh and he continues after he finally swallows what he was eating.

“Yeah it was really fun, we got to catch up on a lot and they're doing pretty great I must say. You should come next time, I mean when you're not busy. I miss our hangouts, you know...” 

“Is this not a hangout?” You humorously ask.

“I mean, it is but I'm saying we should hang out more when you're not busy and when I'm not drunk.”  He says with a laugh.

“Yeah we totally should.“ You say with a smile.

“So anyways, how's life?” 

“Well I mean I'm doing ok, but overall just really stressed. Work and papers have been piling up and my head has been pounding for like weeks or maybe even just days you know, but I guess I'm doing fine.” Giving a small laugh to lighten the statement.

“Yeah the workloads really suck right now, they're crazy. But I'm here for you if you need anything even if I don’t really understand a thing from your subjects.”

“Yeah, I know.” You say giving him a reassuring grin.

You both take a brief pause when he suddenly brings up an old inside joke you both had when you were younger. You spend about an hour reliving memories, throwing around jokes, teasing each other and laughing a lot.

Sighing into a smile he says, “I really miss this. It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that.” 

“Yeah I missed our hangouts like these, this feels so great and nostalgic in a way.”

And I don’t think I can beat it, I’m paralyzed, I’m terrified of being alone!

You both clean up and start to continue your walk back to your place. All the stress you’ve been feeling earlier feels as if it has left and you feel relieved. As you both near your apartment complex, Iwaizumi stops making you turn back.

“Hey, you okay?” You ask.

“Yeah I’m good.” You then proceed to turn around, but he suddenly continues.

“Listen I need to tell you something, and I need you to promise me that we’re still going to be ok even as friends afterwards.” He says with a slight seriousness on his face

“Yeah, you can tell me anything I promise I'll still stay. I mean unless you're a criminal and you're gonna kill me.” You joke. Moving closer to him you prepare yourself a bit for whatever he would say.  “So what's up?”

He takes a breath, “I like you y/n -san.... and I'm really sorry if you don’t like me after this or if this makes anything awkward or if I made you uncomfortable in any way. I've liked you since high school and I was too scared to say anything because I thought you liked another guy--”

“--I swear even when we were younger there was something about you that just made everyone like you. You were so nice, friendly to everyone, helpful, beautiful, and so much more. You’re captivating to me… and I’m trying to use whatever’s left of this liquid courage to get this off my chest and I think I’m ready for whatever might come next.” 

Your mouth parts slightly from shock because of what he said but it slowly, turns into a huge grin.   

“Hajime, I don't know what to say…” you cut him off before he could say anything, 

“Because I like you too, and I have for such a long time.”

He lifts up his head with hope and a slight disbelief in his eyes, “You do..? You did..?!’’

“Yes..” you say with a small chuckle and a smile plastered across your face. You walk even closer until you're both mere inches away from each other. You take a relieved sigh and make eye contact with him. You wrap your arms around his neck and draw him in for a hug. He places his arms delicately around your waist hugging you back.

He slowly pulls away and cups your face ever so tenderly, pulling you in so that your lips are merely ghosting the others; and he gently kisses you. You felt as if that you were floating on clouds. His lips were so soft and warm it felt so surreal.

You both pull away and he says with a smile, “I've waited and wanted for so long to do that.”

You couldn't believe that everything that happened, actually happened. It felt like a scenario that you would only be able to play in your head. But it was all real and it was all happening. It felt like a dream, and if this were a scene in some cute drama there would have been hearts floating around your head right now, you felt lovestruck.

 Cause it’s been a while, since i’ve thought about the good things, all the bright light things all the good times that we had! It’s been a while, since I made u smile! 

You finally reach your apartment hand-in-hand, sitting down on the couch as soon as you enter. The night was filled with more conversations, laughter and just overall good times. Homework forgotten and disregarded, you let yourself go and have fun. Surprisingly everything felt like it just fell into place. 

You looked at him and maybe it was the alcohol but he was pretty sure he saw stars in your eyes. 

“I can't believe after all this time you're finally and actually mine.” you say.

Whatever magic or fate intertwined and lined you up to this exact moment you just knew that you were forever grateful.

[n0wornever]

Healing - Luke Patterson x Reader

i love your writing so so so much, it literally makes my day a lot better when i see you have post a new imagine:)♡♡ could you do maybe one with luke (if you feel comfortable of course, if you don’t its 100% okay:) ) where the reader is plus size?? thank you so much!!

Omg I love you, thank you so much sweet thing! I have a difficult time with these storylines bc as a plus sized girl myself, I feel like they can be too corny if done wrong. I hope I did your request justice.

Also, hank you to purple anon for the nudge on this idea! 💜(lyrics are from Who You Are by Jessie J)

“Y/N, you finally wore that top we picked out!” Julie said, flashing her friend a smile as she walked toward her locker.

The girl nodded. It had taken a moment in the mirror this morning for her to fully wrap her mind around the idea of wearing the garment out of the safety of her home. The little yellow crop top was dainty and frilly, everything she loved but it fell a little higher than most of the shirts she owned. She never really exposed her stomach like this, even a few inches of skin, but after she curled her hair and pulled on her favorite pair of jeans... she knew as she admired the full outfit in the mirror that she’d regret it if she didn’t take the leap.

“Yeah, I’m actually feeling pretty good about it.” 

Julie’s smile widened as Y/N closed her locker and fell to her side. As they walked down the hallway, Julie jabbed her friend’s side with her elbow to get her attention again. 

“Are you ready for today’s performance?” 

Y/N nodded, chewing on the inside of her cheek. Today was the day that they performed their songwriting final in front of the whole class. She had worked really hard on her piece over the past few weeks. Y/N paused as the reached the door, fidgeting with her hands. Julie gaze dropped to her fingers for a moment before returning to her face. She paused the movements by grabbing the girl’s hands into hers.

“You’re going to kill it okay?” Julie reminded her, swaying their hands side to side.

Y/N let a small grin slide onto her cheek as she looked at the curly-haired girl. A hint of pink caught her eye as Carrie walked through the music room door. Her shoulders immediately deflating as their eyes met and the girl’s eyes fell down her body. Raquel held a smirk on the right side of her face before strolling the rest of the way in. Julie squeezed on Y/N’s hands, pulling her focus back to her.

“Don’t worry about her, she’s going to be too obsessed with perfecting her own routine to try to do anything to you today,” Julie responded with narrow eyes. 

Her gaze softened as she smiled at something behind Y/N. The girl gave her a puzzled look with her brows pulled to the middle of her forehead. Julie let go of her hands and took a step back.

“Plus, your lover boy looks like he’s happy with your outfit choice today too.” 

Y/N tilted her head to the side, eyes following Julie as she walked into the classroom. That frustrated glance disappeared as a familiar hold wrapped around her waist. She shivered as a kiss was placed on her neck before he whispered in her ear.

“Is it my birthday?” He said softly, a giggle falling from his lips.

She let a small smile form on her face as she turned around in his arms. Her hands reached out to his cheeks, cupping them. She let her thumbs rub along the skin as she took in his chiseled features. She let her hands slid around his neck as she relaxed into the embrace. 

“What?” She finally responded, shaking her head slightly.

“Because I really don’t deserve this treat on a normal day.” 

His eyes fell to her torso, and she followed his gaze. She tapped at the nap of his neck, bringing his eyes back up to hers. She rolled her eyes as the red appeared across his cheeks. His hands gripped around her waist a bit tighter as her eyes grilled him. 

“Do not stare me like a piece of meat, Patterson.” 

“I’M NOT I SWEAR I JUST,” He said in frustration, diverting his gaze to the ceiling. “You just look really good today,” He said, biting down on his lower lip.

“Well thank you, baby,” She said as she beamed up at him, batting her eyelashes.

He let go of his lip, letting it hang from his mouth in a pout. She let her eyes fall them for a moment before she leaned in and placed a soft his on his lips. He pulled her closer, but her arms fell from their place on his neck to break apart hands at her waist. She heard him sigh but continued her way toward the door with a smile on her face. 

The bell rang as she entered the classroom, Luke hot on her trail. She looked over to the empty chair next to Julie and sped in her direction. Her boyfriend followed closely behind, taking a spot in the chair behind her so that his arms could drape around her shoulders as they waited for the teacher to begin. The sound of heels clanking on the tile floor brought the loud discussions to a few light murmurs. 

“You all know that today is the day class,” Mrs. Harrison announced, taking her place at the front of the classroom. “I’m looking forward to hearing all of your final pieces.” 

Mrs. Harrison’s eyes fell on Y/N’s for a moment, giving her a warm smile as she clasped her hands at her chest. She had already known that she had chosen the first spot on the performance sheet over a month ago, but her brain hadn’t let her really understand what that meant until this moment. The teacher nodded toward the piano before addressing her verbally. 

“Y/N, I believe you are our first performer today. Are you ready?” 

The girl nodded, her hands grabbed the sheet music underneath her. Before she had the chance to lift herself up off the chair, she saw a hand raised in the corner of her eye. Mrs. Harrison’s gaze drifted for a moment as she pointed at the awaiting student. 

“Mrs. Harrison, don’t you think that Y/N’s outfit may be...I don’t know, a bit distracting during the performance?” 

Y/N let her gaze shift behind her as she finally landed on her feet. Raquel’s ridiculously performative frown turned to a smirk as their eyes met. 

The girl looked left to right seemingly in search of something as she held the classroom’s attention. “I know we have a dress code handbook around here somewhere.” 

Y/N crossed her hands at her waist, letting her papers crinkle under her grip. She heard the chair behind her start to move, and her gaze slipped over to her boyfriend’s pinched expression. 

As he started rise out of his chair, Y/N moved her right arm to hold a hand out toward his face. Luke sank back into his seat as he watched the altercation unfold in front of him. Mrs. Harrison said something Y/N couldn’t hear, all of her senses focused on the poised pale girl with her hands resting on her lap. Y/N licked her bottom lip, letting out a short, angry laugh before addressing her. 

“Raquel, I’ll be behind a piano. I think you’ll live.” She rose an eyebrow as the whispers around her went quiet. “Can I please do my performance now? We have very little time for intermissions.” 

She heard Luke let out a giggle behind her, a few kids around him joining in. The now flustered girl shooed away her gaze with her hand, bringing her left leg up to cross over her right and bringing her attention to Nick next to her. Y/N turned back around, nodding at her teacher, who gave her a knowing smile, before walking toward the piano. 

She placed the now slightly rippled paper on the stand before sitting down on the bench. She flexed her fingers a few times before setting her hands onto their placements on the black and white keys. She let her face turn toward the mic next to the instrument, eyes making their way back to Raquel. 

“This one is actually for you Kell,” The other girl leaned back in her chair as she listened. “I hope you like it.” 

Y/N’s hands glided down the keys. As the music began to pick up, her eyes softly closed. Her hands paused for a moment as her lips pressed forward toward the mic again. 

I stare at my reflection in the mirror Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error I nearly left the real me on the shelf

Her voice felt a little shaky, her heart thumbing into her fingertips as the moved from key to key. As she took that first exhale, she let her shoulders relax a bit and sat up straighter in her place. That’s when her fingers gained a mind of their own, running freely without waiting for her mind to catch up. Her forehead scrunched as she shook her head at the next lines. 

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay

She felt tears start to bubble at the surface of her eyes, but she took a quick sharp breath before starting to sing again. The pull against her chest gaining strength as she sang from her gritty chest voice. 

Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are

She let her voice fade for a moment, the soft light accompaniment perfectly playing off of the bitter, somber tone in her voice as she hummed softly, her eyes facing the ceiling as she played. Her face lifted toward the center of the room, opening her eyes to find the girl across from her staring back with a wide gaze. Y/N let her left lip raise for a second before her voice took off again.

Brushing my hair, do I look perfect? I forgot what to do to fit the mold, yeah The more I try the less it's working, yeah, yeah 'Cause everything inside me screams, no, no, no, no, , no, yeah

She felt lyrics overtake her, her fingers pressing harder into the keys below them as she nodded along, eyes finally following her hands on their journey left to right. She could feel the warmth rising to her cheeks, but she couldn’t stop herself to focus on their appearance. She let the room shift to black again, her eyes shut as she repeated the chorus. 

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart But tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising There's nothing wrong with who you are

As her eyelids fluttered back open once more, she made it her mission to sing the last lines to her now puzzled enemy. Her hands fell into their placements a bit harsher, an aggressive tone ringing to match the intensity in her vocals. 

Yes, no's, egos, fake shows, like whoa Just go, and leave me alone Real talk, real life, good love, goodnight With a smile, that's my home That's my home, no

Raquel’s smart smirk fell for a moment, her hands relaxing on her thighs as the two stared at each other.

Y/N was ready to bring the song home, the repetitive lines already on the tip of her fingers made their way to the left side of the piano. She lightly touched the keys a few times before letting them hover over them silently. Y/N smiled to herself as she let her lips fall toward the microphone for the final time. 

Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing It's okay not to be okay Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising Just be true to who you are

She played herself out, the delicate movements dancing off of her fingertips for a few seconds before she drew back. She kept her eyes on the keyboard for a moment as she let the impact of her words finally resonate within her. She began to hear clapping rise around her. As her eyes finally made their way to the rows of seat in front of her, she saw some of her classmates standing and smiling at her as the pressed their hands together. 

She pushed the bench out a bit, rising to bow toward the crowd. She heard a whistle sound in the crowd, looking over at her boyfriend whose smile was wide as he shook his head slowly at her. She slipped a wink in his direction before returning to the music stand to collect her sheet music. 

As she sat down in her chair, her eyes made their way to the other side of the room one more time. Raquel’s eyes refused to meet hers, her gaze fixated on her nails outstretched in front of her. Y/N sighed, bringing her focus back to her lap. After a moment of silence, she felt a hand rest on her lap. She looked over to Julie smiling in her direction.

“If we ever need Racket to shut up again, I’m giving you every single song in my notebook,” Julie’s gaze moved from her to the girl across the room and back. “Because man, did those vocals make her go silent.” 

Y/N felt her cheeks burn again under her friend’s gaze. She laughed off her nerves from the attention and set her hand on top of Julie’s. As she finally let herself breathe, a set of hands placed themselves on her shoulders, squeezing them on impact. She let her eyes fall behind her, meeting her boyfriend’s bright hazel eyes. 

“I’m in awe of you baby,” He said quietly. 

She scrunched her nose at him as he pressed his lips quickly to her head before letting go of her. As she turned back around in her seat, she couldn’t get the smile off her face. She tried to focus on her classmate’s guitar solo, but her brain kept going back to the words on the page. 

As the final performance ended and the bell rang, announcing the end of the class period, Y/N rose to her feet again. She swung her backpack over her shoulder and walked toward the door with Julie. As the duo entered the hallway, Y/N was pulled from Julie’s side by her forearm. The girl gasping at the sudden contact, but relief quickly washed over her as she realized who had stolen her away. 

Luke led her down the hallway, toward an empty stairwell. As they stood in the silent space, he released his hand from hers and pulled her in by her waist. Her smile spread across her face before she even had a chance to fight it, letting her hands rest on his chest. 

“I just wanted a moment alone with you,” He said, leaning his forehead against hers. “Are you okay?”

She let her teeth run across her bottom lip a few times before nodding. He returned the nod, leaning in and pressing his lips against hers. As they parted, his smile fell to a smart smirk as he took her in.

“I guess I really don’t need to save you, huh?” 

“No, I can handle my own battles,” She said confidently, tapping on his chest. 

She let her eyes fall back down to his lips, his eyes trailing after hers. “But I do need you to kiss me though..” 

He chuckled, bringing one of his hands up to her neck and pulling her in once more. 

.

.

.

Tag list: @xplrreylo @lovesanimals , @anythingandeverythingfandom , @crybabyddl  @themaddies-obx , @lukeys-giggle , @bumbleberry-pie @kiss-themoongoodbye  @marinettepotterandplagg , @lolychu , @bathtimejish , @dasexydevitt13 @musicconversedance , @txrii  @bestdressedandstressed @daisiesforlacey  @epikskool  @bookfrog247 @carleywhittaker @princessvader15 @rudysbay @spooky-season-bitch  @kcd15  @meangirlsx @itz-jas @parkeret @writerinlearning @calamitykaty @whatever-happens-imma-stand-tall @teenwaywardasgardian @dream-a-little-bigger-x @tenaciousperfectionunknown @thesweetestsinner  @kinda-really-lost

[yuta-nakamots]

crush - n.jm

Pairing - Jaemin x Reader

Genre - High School!AU, Fluff, Angst

Warnings - None (if you feel that I should add a warning please lmk)

Summary - Na Jaemin was the boy who had protected you from bullies, let you copy his homework, shared his snacks with you, and practically doted on you like a mother. It would only make sense for you to develop a crush on him though not all loves are meant to last, especially when your overbearing feelings crush themselves.

Word Count - 5.3k

A/N - Bolded phrases are song lyrics taken from Crush by Tessa Violet.

Taglist - @ukiyoneo​ @badwithten @yasmini24 @luvlyjaemin​ @jimjamjaemin​ @loeygotospacenow

Written for the Summertime Tunes Collab hosted by @mismatchmark​ and @croissanct​. Also part of the NeoWinter Festival hosted by @czennienet​.

Song: Crush by Tessa Violet. Color - Pink.

“I swear the answer for the last question was the Mandela effect,” you exclaimed, “you know, the one where you think you remember something but it’s totally different?”

Jaemin’s infectious laugh filled the interior of the car. “No no no, I think you’re mistaken,” he wagged a finger at you without taking his eyes off the road, “the question wasn’t asking about the memory of an individual, it was asking about the memory of a group, like a large mass of witnesses to a crime.”

A cold wave of despair hit you when you realized that you utterly screwed up on the largest question on your first exam of senior year. It was such an easy question yet you carelessly answered it, just wanting to go home as soon as the bell rang. That and getting to be with Jaemin, whom you’ve been crushing on since sophomore year.

You and Jaemin actually hadn’t become friends on your own terms. The two of you first met as freshmen and had to work on a group project in history together and that’s when you got his number. You didn’t talk to him for the rest of the year though. Then in sophomore year, again, you had the luck of being with him for a project, though this time it was just the two of you and it was for chemistry instead.

“Ooh, let’s do an experiment with salt,” Jaemin suggested as you gave him a questioning look, “it’s part of my nickname.”

“What? Salt? People call you salt?” You were utterly at a loss for words.

He shook his head, “no, didn’t you know? My nickname is Nana, from Na Jaemin...like N-A? Salt? Get it?”

You let out a slight wheeze when you understood what he was getting at. “Yeah, okay, we can do one with salt as long as it’s not too complicated.”

He had chosen to do an experiment on finding what method of food preservation kept produce fresh the longest, and salt was one of them. Your classmates ended up choosing your project as the most creative since they were all amused by the way Jaemin had placed pictures of himself around the section of the presentation board relating to the effectiveness of the salt treatment.

Ever since then, whenever there was a project in any of the classes you shared with Jaemin, he’d always gravitate towards you and ask you to be his partner. Eventually, after being assigned a large physics project, the two of you were deciding whose house to do the experiment at, and after sharing addresses, both of you realized that you lived only two blocks away from each other.

Just to keep things safe, it was agreed that the experiment would be done at Jaemin’s house under the supervision of his older brother who majored in something in the science field and volunteered to look after you guys and make sure no one died. The walks to his house weren’t awkward, in fact, they were quite fun and interesting considering how talkative Jaemin was. Even after your project was completed, he’d continue walking with you since your house was on the way to his.

In junior year, the two of you drifted apart as you both found your own friend groups and started hanging out with them more but in senior year, Jaemin pulled you both back together when he called you in the morning to ask if you’d like a ride to school.

“I mean, yeah sure I guess.” You had responded as you finished packing your bag. What you expected was for him to pull up in the passenger seat of his brother’s black car, the loud J-Rock music vibrating the frame of it. What you didn’t expect was for Jaemin to be the one driving the car, his older brother nowhere in sight. “Y-you can drive?!”

“Yeah, got my license over summer.” He replied nonchalantly, taking a bite of a small sandwich wrapped in Starbucks napkins. “My brother graduated early and went to Japan for grad school so he said I can use his car once I get licensed. Pretty cool, right?”

When you finally looked at him after getting into the passenger seat, you realized just how much he was starting to change. You had noticed his voice getting lower and the way his shoulders seemed to be broader but now even his face seemed to be slightly sharper and more mature. “Hey, answer me,” he said, interrupting your trance, “just because my brother’s gone doesn’t mean you can give me those sad eyes because you had a crush on him and didn’t get the chance to tell him.”

“I do not have a crush on your brother,” you began as Jaemin drove you to school, “that’s so gross, he’s like a whole five years older than me.”

“Mmhmm, I literally heard you tell June that you liked him.”

“I didn’t, I swear.” The truth is, the day he had heard you, you were telling your friend June about your crush on Jaemin before your shared trigonometry class and he had just so happened to come into the classroom early that day and overheard the tail end of it where his name was mentioned. June had covered it up by saying that you had a crush on his older brother, which you went along with since you didn’t want Jaemin to know that it was actually him that you were talking about. Hopefully one day you’d get to tell him this story and laugh about how childish you were, but for now, you kept to yourself.

From that day on, Jaemin made sure to take you to school and back once the day was over, insisting that it only makes sense since your houses are so close to each other. It’s not like you were really complaining though because it meant more time for you to be with him.

A week before homecoming, Jaemin came to pick you up in the morning as usual, his car slick from the morning dew that was on the roads. He waved at you as you came down your driveway, unlocking the door for you. “How’s my princess doing on this fine morning?” He asks once you open the door and place your bag inside.

“Tired.” You state plainly. “Nearly slept through my alarm.”

“Would you like some coffee?” He looks down at his coffee that blends in with the black coloring of the console and seats. You make a face of disgust at him, scrunching up your nose and mocking the action of vomiting. “Alright, okay, I get it.” He laughs out as you buckle yourself in.

After you were comfortably seated in Jaemin’s car, there was a calming silence as he pulled away from the curb and navigated his way out of your neighborhood. The silence was only broken when he stopped under a fresh red light, prepared to wait for a bit. “So the homecoming dance is coming up,” you let out a short hum to acknowledge him while scrolling through social media, “do you have someone that you’re planning on going with?”

You shook your head, “I have someone in mind but I don’t know if they’d want to go with me.”

“Oh, who is it?” Jaemin asks as the light turns green, signaling for him to make the pass through the intersection.

“It’s you.” Turning to look at him, you see his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pursed together. “Would you like to go with me to the homecoming dance?” The mere seconds it took him to respond to your question felt like hours but you didn’t mind, not when he looked so handsome and relaxed in the driver’s seat, one hand on the wheel, the other resting on the center console.

You make it difficult to not overthink

His hesitation was evident but eventually, he replied, “sure, I’ll go with you.”

The dress you wore was a pretty shade of pink, one that complemented your skin tone nicely and Jaemin wore a matching pink button-down shirt paired with black ripped jeans which you were sure he stole from his brother’s closet. Your friends nicely complimented your outfits and asked when the two of you would be official, at which both of you replied “it’s not like that” or “I don’t like them that way” or some other variation of it.

June looked at you knowingly from the other side of the table every time that happened, knowing how badly you hoped for his words to be only a front he was putting up and that maybe, just maybe, he thought of you as more than a friend. But the little hope you had was put to rest when Yunhee, one of the girls from his friend group, came by and pulled him away, telling him that Jeno, his best friend, wanted to take group pictures together.

Jaemin didn’t return to the table until the winner of the homecoming spirit trophy was about to be announced. He shared a look of excitement with you as both of you did a drumroll on the table before Haechan, the student body president yelled out, “the seniors, class of 2018, are the winners of this year’s homecoming spirit trophy!” Jaemin jumped out of his seat and hugged you out of joy before running off to celebrate with the rest of his friends at their table.

Again, he did not return until the lights were dimmed and the music volume was raised. “Would you like to dance, m’lady?” He asked as he held his hand out for you to take. The rest of your friends let out giggles at the gesture and cooed when you placed your hand in his and followed him to the dance floor.

He let go of your hand as the two of you faced each other and started moving to the beat of ‘Let’s Fall in Love for the Night’ while mouthing the words to each other. With every line mouthed, you felt your heart swell for Jaemin because it was as if this song were written for the two of you.

“You look absolutely beautiful tonight.” He told you as the song slowed down.

“I can say the same for you too.” Your eyes met him as you smiled at him.

His smile mirrored yours with the same playful affection. “Then why don’t you?”

You weren’t even given the chance to do so when Yunhee appeared once again, placing a hand on his shoulder and turning him in the direction of where the other nominees for homecoming court were gathering. “They’re announcing the winners, come on,” she informed him as she began pulling him away, “you look good tonight though, you too, y/n, I guess.”

Yunhee had always been playing some sick passive-aggressive game with you and you never understood why. Jaemin encouraged you to just brush it off every time it happened, but you simply couldn’t, not when it has continued for three years now. You were about to open your mouth and say something back to her but you held yourself back, not wanting to sour the mood for everyone else.

Without Jaemin dancing with you and not knowing if the rest of your friends were on the dance floor, you returned to your table just as Haechan stepped out to announce the winners of the homecoming court. June came to sit next to you, occupying Jaemin’s seat as you laughed at the way her makeup was slightly smudged from when she accidentally rubbed her eye. “I’m glad I can still make you laugh.” She said as she gave you a sad smile, already having you like an open book.

The two of you became engrossed in a conversation about how hard it was to do your hair and makeup earlier, effectively drowning out the naming and cheers for the winners of the court until one name was able to make your heart stop. “Na Jaemin.” You turned around in your seat to see as Jaemin was crowned homecoming king and went to stand alongside Yunhee, who smiled at him as she donned a similar crown, making her his queen.

June took you home that night, leaving behind her own date for you as you struggled to hold back your tears, seeing Jaemin dance with another girl. “It’s just for homecoming, he probably doesn’t even like her that much.” June reassured while rubbing your back. You wanted so badly to believe her but there was just something inside you that wouldn’t allow you to do so.

Homecoming passed quickly, though not quickly enough for your liking, and as much as you were glad to put some distance between that night, you weren’t as glad to be swamped with work again. You were supposed to be thinking about how Pavlov experimented with classical conditioning yet you were the one feeling classically conditioned to think about Jaemin.

He occupied your mind whenever you weren’t extremely focused on something. Everything you thought about brought you back to him. Even now, you debated on whether it would be a good idea or not to classically train him to like you.

I can’t focus on what needs to get done

Your phone buzzed from its spot on your desk, plucking you from your experimental daydream, only to send you on a rollercoaster as you read the notification on your screen.

nana > y/n

7:31pm: wanna go get food with me?

y/n > nana

7:31pm: right now?

nana > y/n

7:31pm: yeah

y/n > nana

7:31pm: sure, i’ll be ready in a bit

nana > y/n

7:32pm: thank god cuz i’m outside already

You figured your psychology notes could wait for a bit, especially when the reason was Jaemin. With finals coming up soon and the impending doom of graduation and college, you wanted to make the most of every moment you had with him, even if it was nights spent getting McDonald’s and eating it at an elementary school playground, seated side by side at the top of the slide while looking at the stars.

“I wonder why people say ‘shooting stars’ and ‘falling like the stars’ because they can’t do both, right?” Jaemin pondered through a mouthful of french fries.

“Stars don’t fall, silly.” You remarked, truly questioning how he had such good grades in his classes yet didn’t seem to know such trivial things.

He continued staring up at the night sky before responding. “Well if they did, I think I’d be one of them.”

You looked at him, entertaining his wonderings while sipping some Sprite. “Oh? Now, why is that?”

“Because I think I’ve fallen for you.”

Your mouth opened ever so slightly out of shock and you felt as if you were frozen when he took the drink out of your hands, placing it gently behind the two of you before putting a hand on your jaw, holding your steady as he gave you your first kiss.

When he pulled away, you were still having trouble processing what just happened and left him hanging, but in a few seconds you had one hand on his shoulder, the other on his cheek as you pulled him in to kiss him for real this time. Jaemin let out a noise of surprise though he quickly recovered and his lips began moving with the shape of yours.

You immediately felt insecure from how confident he seemed, thinking that he probably already had prior experience, so you pulled away, not wanting to embarrass yourself if he thought you were a bad kisser. Both of you pulled away, slightly out of breath.

“Was I your first kiss?” He asked. You nodded in response, looking anywhere but at him. “Good, because you were mine.” Your eyebrows raised in shock and you turned to him, only for his lips to meet yours once again.

And I’m just tryna play it cool now

The two of you stayed at the playground for what could have easily been another hour talking about your futures and kissing each other. It was then that the two of you found a common college on both of your lists of possible schools and agreed to go there if both of you got in. When Jaemin dropped you off later that night, he sent you off with one last kiss and a smile, reminding you to study for your psychology final next week.

The in-class reviews for the said exam could’ve easily been thrown out the window for you since all you did was stare at Jaemin from the other side of the room. June asked you and your friends something about mental maps but the only mental map you were creating was that of the house you’d live in with Jaemin someday.

But I could be your crush...throw you for a rush

Even during the final exam itself, you couldn’t help but glance over at him and think about how handsome he was. It was only when one of your friends sneezed and Jaemin looked over to say ‘bless you’ that you averted your eyes back to the papers in front of you, not wanting him to catch you in your daydreams.

And I’m pretending you ain’t on my mind

But with the wrapping up of your classes and all the finals being taken, it also signaled the end of the semester and the start of winter break, which Jaemin would be spending in Japan visiting his older brother. When he left, it felt like he took a piece of you with him. He was always on your mind and you practically glued to your phone, anxiously waiting for a message from him. To be fair, he did promise to update you at least once a day on all the fun things he did.

Hoping you’d text me

You were the first like and comment on all of his social media updates, unashamedly. The most recent being a video of him and his older brother having a snowball fight at the ski resort they were visiting.

In the video, Jaemin threw a snowball at his brother who let out a yell in surprise, his dyed-blue hair now covered in white. “Hey! Come back here!” He yelled as he knelt to the ground, gathering his own snowball to throw back at Jaemin.

Jaemin ran away to a small stack of snowballs, giggling as he grabbed another one and launched it again at his brother, only angering him further. “How about you respect your elders, huh?” His brother shouted as he threw his first snowball at Jaemin, which would’ve hit him square in the face if he didn’t turn around as fast as he did.

“No headshots, you bully!” He pouted, rubbing the spot the snowball hit, just to be hit twice more by his brother. “Hey, I’m injured!”

“Now you know how I feel playing PUBG with you, kid.” His brother shot back.

na.jaemin0813 - he put up a good fight but i think i won

ynn0018 - you definitely did. I miss you tho :’( come home soon pls

You checked the post again when he replied to your comment and read through some of the other comments, feeling jealous when you see that he also replied to the other girls who left messages though you quickly eased yourself when you say that he gave you the longest response with the most emojis.

na.jaemin0813 > ynn0018 - i miss you too 😘😘 i’ll be back sooner than you know it <3

Jaemin stayed true to his word, texting you every day, and making sure you weren’t too bored without him. He filmed his own short little vlogs and sent them to you throughout the day and did a longer video at the end of the day as he got ready for bed. You’d watch them whenever you got bored or thought of him and the days didn’t seem all that long without him physically there with you.

When Jaemin returned from Japan and the break ended, the two of you were the closest you’ve ever been. You did nearly everything together like eating lunch, studying for tests, even facetiming each other while doing homework though neither of you really spoke much.

Thanks to Jaemin being so overprepared and not wanting to live in his brother’s shadows, his early application to colleges motivated you to do the same and within the first month of the year, both of you had acceptance letters to the school where you could chase your dreams together and not have to risk doing a long-distance relationship. If fate and soulmates truly existed, you knew this would be it.

The third quarter of the school year goes by quickly, the rest of your friends receiving their acceptance letters after you and slowly announcing their future schools and plans after graduation. Things felt like they were falling into place, just the way they should be and you thought you could never be happier.

During spring break, you and Jaemin even took your senior portraits together at the local botanical garden, the sunset behind the flowers turning the sky a fiery shade of pink. “I want to see more of these sunsets with you,” Jaemin admits after you both decide you’re satisfied with how the pictures came out, “Japan has these same types of sunsets and I wish you were there to see them with me.”

“Let’s go then,” you tell him, excited as you imagine the sight of you and him traveling the world and watching many more beautiful sunsets, “after we graduate, let’s go to Japan, just the two of us. We can visit your brother too and he can even be our tour guide.”

You’re my permanent vacation

From then on, both of you vowed to ‘grow up’ a little more to show your parents that you could be trusted to travel on your own. One of the biggest things you set out to do was to get your license, which of course Jaemin is initially against but eventually comes to terms with and becomes your biggest supporter, letting your drive the two of you to school and home on days when traffic wasn’t too heavy. Of course, you couldn’t get your license in just a few months but you told yourself you’d get it as soon as you were able to.

At school, prom was drawing nearer which meant promposals were happening left and right. Jaemin hadn’t said anything about going to prom together yet or if he was going at all so you thought it would be nice to turn the tables and do something nice for him since he was the one always driving you places, buying you food, giving you gifts, and just, in general, being the best ‘boyfriend’ you could ask for.

You told June about your plans but she surprisingly warned you against it. “Wait, why shouldn’t I do this? I thought you wanted me to get with Jaemin?” You question, taken aback at how quickly your best friend seemed to have turned on you.

“I do, but I think maybe you should wait a bit.” She reasoned.

“He hasn’t said anything yet though, or even mentioned the word ‘prom’ to me, so I don’t think he’s planning on going.”

“He must have a reason, like what if he doesn’t-”

“Yeah, that’s why I’m trying to get him to go. Because if I ask him, then for sure he’ll say yes, right?” You interrupt.

June pauses. “Well, yeah, he’d probably say yes, but like, keep in mind that you guys aren’t even official so there’s no guarantee.”

You roll your eyes at her. “Whatever. I thought you were supposed to be my best friend and support me no matter what.”

“Y/n, no, that’s not what I meant-”

“Save it, I don’t want to hear it.”

You stuck your ground and went home that day, ready to think up a cheesy pick-up line and design a poster asking Jaemin to prom. The day after that, you put the first part of your plan into motion and created the poster, drawing out your message in big, bold lettering and coloring them pink.

‘If I were a star, I’d be a falling star because I’ve fallen for you. Prom?’

You waited until Thursday to buy a bouquet of flowers after school, telling Jaemin that you needed to pick something up from the store and he could just drop you off there. You also told him that your parents were cool with letting you drive one of their cars so you didn’t need a ride to school on Friday morning. The second of which was harder to convince him of, but you did it nonetheless.

And I’m not tryna be with you now

You came to school, rushing to store the flowers and poster in your locker so that Jaemin doesn’t see them. The adrenaline doesn’t leave your body until after the first period ends, your mind already overwhelmed from being a TA and having to deal with freshmen for an hour.

When you arrive at your psychology class, you excitedly tell June about your plans for the day and how you were going to ask Jaemin to prom after school gets out, which she makes a face at. “Okay, now tell me, what is going on with you and your aversion to me asking Jaemin to prom?”

“Look, I’m not against it,” she began, her eyes drifting off to somewhere else, “it’s just that…”

“What, June, what could it possibly be?” You spit, getting angry at how your own best friend didn’t want to see you happy.

Her eyes snapped back to your face. “You know what? If you’re so intent on doing it, fine. I won’t stop you. I told you that I support you and Jaemin together so I don’t get why you’re so upset.”

Just as you were about to fire back, Jaemin walked through the door with Jeno so you quickly changed your expression to smile at him before muttering to June “I’m going to ask him to prom and prove that whatever you’re hiding from me is wrong.”

The next two periods seemed to drag by, you just wanted the day to go faster so you could finally do what you’ve been waiting for. During lunch you went to your usual spot, shaded underneath a tree by the cafeteria, pulling out your homework as you wait for Jaemin when you suddenly hear a commotion happening on the other side of the building.

Out of curiosity, you stood up and walked over just enough to get a glimpse of what was happening in the large ring of students. There were two people. Jaemin and Yunhee. You watched as Jaemin held open his own poster asking Yunhee to prom and you see her nod her head before pulling him in for a hug.

Any hope you previously had was crushed.

You didn’t feel like doing anything productive for the rest of the day. Instead of staying under the protection of the large tree, you packed up your belongings and went to your last class of the day, waiting for lunch to end. It was a study hall anyway so you figured you might as well get a head start at being unproductive for an hour.

Scrolling through social media didn’t help your cause in the slightest. Jaemin’s promposal was everywhere. But he and Yunhee posted about it, everyone who had recorded the event posted it on their stories, comments were flying left and right and it was all too much.

When you got home that day, you turned off your phone for the first time since god knows when and set to working on all your assignments just to keep your mind off of him. Even the mention of his name seemed taboo now. Once you deemed that enough schoolwork had been done, you went about cleaning your room and pulled up a ‘summertime tunes’ playlist on youtube to keep your mind occupied though it seemed like the world was against you today when ‘Crush’ started playing.

Maybe if I’m busy it could keep me from you

You shut Jaemin out of your life, blocking his number and his social media accounts. Legally, you could not get your license yet so you settled for having your parents take you to school. In class you sat as far away from him as possible and ditched your lunch spot, instead opting to spend lunch sitting in your next class and you were glad that your teachers didn’t mind you intruding on their break and if they did, they were kind enough to allow you to stay.

Exactly one month after that mistake of a day, you went to prom with your group of friends after patching up your relationship with June, though there was no undoing your harsh words the same way there was no undoing your purchase of the pink prom dress thinking that you’d be going with Jaemin as your date.

Whenever you looked down, you were disgusted by the color, wanting to rip it off of you and never have anything to do with anything pink ever again. Your friends accused you of being a downer the whole night, but you couldn’t help it when you knew Jaemin was probably having the time of his life with Yunhee at their table, Jeno right at his side with his own date.

“Come on, cheer up a bit, you still have us.” June kindly told you.

“I know, it’s just,” you put your head in your hands, careful of your makeup, “this is not the way I dreamt of things going.”

June shook her head. “Well, some dreams are better left as dreams. Just wait, Jaemin will get his karma, I promise you.”

“It better come soon because I’m getting sick of seeing them together.” You nodded over to where he was dancing with Yunhee. You didn’t dare look at them, not wanting to see his stupidly handsome face and his dumb smile or the way she blushed at his compliments and the way her pink nails matched his pink tie.

You left the hotel ballroom that night vowing to yourself that you’d never speak to Na Jaemin again. Your friends fully supported you on this endeavor and your group became the tightest you’ve ever been even if it was only for the last month of your high school career. Graduation came and went, the special night was spent having your own mini party at one of your friends’ house after the ceremony and you might have even had a bit to drink.

Summer felt like an odd daydream of sorts though you were immensely grateful for the break since it allowed you to not have to see Jaemin’s face almost every day of the week. Both of you acted as if the other person didn’t exist and you hoped to keep it that way for a long time. Even when you saw him out of the corner of your eye at freshmen orientation on your college campus, you reminded yourself of the promise you made on prom night.

“Y/n, hey!” He called out to you, walking in your direction.

You looked over at him, giving him a slight smile before turning away and walking off to sit with some of the other people you met earlier while doing some of the icebreaker activities.

Sorry

Some crushes are better kept a crush.

[literaryfic]

singer!cha-young & violonist!vincenzo au pt.1

don’t ask me why. i have no answer for you okay.

cha-young starts her career when she’s 5, appearing in a yogurt commercial. she’s not exactly a cute child, but she’s enthusiastic and disciplined.

her dad, the retired leader of a rock band who had a few hit songs in the 80s, is the one who introduces her to music.

she learns the piano & the guitar and takes singing lesson. her childhood is guided by auditions and music classes.

when she’s 12, a big agency contacts her and she signs a trainee contract with them. her dad is against it, but her mom and her win him over. she’ll be careful, they’ll look after her.

she starts training after school everyday, on the weekends too. she’s not really good at dance and she gets in trouble a lot but she’s the best singer in her age group, which makes up for it.

time passes by and the company starts to ask her to lose weight. her dance teacher comments on how big her thighs are. she’s asked if she ever thought about a nose job, or an eye surgery. those things happen a lot, and if she wants a sit at the big table, she’ll need to make some decisions.

her parents disagree, of course, but then her mother falls ill. she has to stop working and money becomes scarce. cha-young doesn’t want to bother them with her insignificant issues and so she starts a diet without any of them noticing. she needs to be thinner, maybe she’ll win a scholarship and her dad won’t need to work two jobs anymore.

her dad comes home drunk most nights, as if the sight of her mother made him sick. she was dying and her husband couldn’t even look at her anymore. cha-young doesn’t know who she hates more: her dad or herself for wishing she could escape home the same way he did every night.

her mom dies when she’s 15 and she stops taking lessons. she quits the company after a while too. she wins a scholarship for a good arts high school, known to hone musical talents. she meets new friends there, ones who don’t care about her proportions or her eyelids, and she’s happy in school.

her dad and her starts to argue more and more, until they stop talking. she fills the silence in her empty house with the music she writes.

after she graduates high school, she works two jobs to pay her way through college. all of her spare time is used composing, writing lyrics, singing. she posts covers on YouTube and she starts to gain some followers.

it’s not enough to make money but an independent label that’s been on the rise notices her. she signs with them after reading the contract carefully, when she’s 19. she choses her stage name, NOVA.

her first album is out by the time she’s 20 and she starts appearing on tv. her second album at 23 is her big break. her first hit song “Alone With You”, an upbeat tune contrasted by sad lyrics, stays on top of the charts for weeks, owing her the nickname of “monster rookie”.

people soon start to discover her easy-going, bubbly yet blunt personality and she starts going on more variety shows.

she’s loved and she’s found her sound, profound lyrics with innovative instrumentals, she plays with genres and concepts often, keeping her image fresh.

at 30, she’s one of the biggest South Korean solo act. she tours the world, sells album, holds events for her fans, travels. she doesn’t have to think about money anymore. she lives in a luxurious apartment in the centre of Seoul.

she’s learned that not everyone is going to love her. she’s used to dealing with virulent anti-fans, stalkers and paparazzi.

she has everything her 15 year old self dreamt of, an amazing career and devoted fans, a name people recognise and a wardrobe bigger than their previous living room. yet, she can’t seem to fill the emptiness inside of her.

she calls her dad once a year, for the new year. he still lives in their old house, refusing to move into the one she bought just for him. he teaches guitar to kids at the community center in their neighbourhood. her anger doesn’t seem to fade with the years.

she almost looses everything when her assistant, jung jun woo, leaks the fact that she’s had an abortion after she rejects him.

she’d been dating an actor a few years ago, and they had had an accident. she’d noticed too late that she missed her period since it was irregular and had to get an abortion. she didn’t think any of it now, there’s nothing wrong with a woman making this choice and she wasn’t ready to become a mother. she’d never once regretted it in the past.

however, South Korea’s entertainment industry was not a kind one, and a news like that would destroy her clean, quirky girl-next-door image she’d built over the years. and it did.

she’d never expected jun woo to betray her. he was part of her management team, one of her assistants. he’d always been cute if not a little clingy.

he’d confessed his feelings for her a few weeks back, claiming that he knew they were made for each other and that he would do everything for her and she’d laughed in his face. she hadn’t meant to sound mean or insensitive, she had thought it was a prank he was pulling on her.

turns out it wasn’t, and he had leaked this “abortion gate” to dispatch to get get back at her.

her label had released a vague statement, about “a difficult time in her life”, urging people to stop looking into “her private medical history”.

trashy tabloids and online blogs had had a field day. some people even started a petition to remove her from the industry. the news quickly turned into a social discourse when feminist orgs stood up for her. everyone was talking about it, some claiming she was a slut, others turning her into a symbol for women’s rights.

she felt like neither, it had been too long since she’d gotten some to qualify as a slut, and her label would have never let her discuss politics publicly.

she’d lost dozens of endorsements and deals and had officially decided to “focus on her health away from the spotlight” for a while (another statement from her label)

officially on her first hiatus ever, cha-young was lost. every time she tried to write, nothing came out. it would’ve been the perfect time to work on a new album but it seemed nothing worked in her favour as of late.

it’s 6 am when her father calls her. the last she’d heard of him was when the scandal broke out and he’d sent a vague supportive message to which she had responded “thanks, dad”. it was unusual for him to call, especially so early (or late).

she picks up the phone the second times he calls. “hello?” “hello, do you know the owner of this phone?” the man on the other side of the line is definitely not her father and he sounds rather annoyed. “yes, i’m this person’s daughter.” “great, can you come pick him up from my hotel room?” “your hotel room? is he okay?” “he should be. we drank too much and i have to vacate the room before 8. can you come or not?” “yes.” “I’ll text you the address from his phone.” is the last thing he says before hanging up. what a rude man.

why was her father drunk in hotel room with this rude stranger and why was she the one having to pick him up?

she doesn’t want to wake up her manager at this hour, and so she decides to go on her own. the hotel isn’t too far, a mere 15 minute drive, and soon enough she’s knocking on the door of a very expensive hotel suit, definitely not what one of her father’s friends could afford. who the hell was this guy?

she definitely did not expect Vincenzo Cassano, renowned world class violinist, to be the one opening the door.

[mymoonagedaydream]

Stranger’s Kiss

Summary: Heartbroken and lost, the neon city streets seemed to guide you to exactly where you needed to be.

Pairing: Bartender!Bucky x y/n

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Language, smut references

Author's Note: Cheeky little oneshot, hope y’all enjoy. It’s based around lyrics from Stranger’s Kiss by Alex Cameron.

---

Don't even bother climbing out of the well That ain't no way to get out of the hell that you're in

Four years.

You’d given him four years of your life, for what?

For you to walk into your bedroom and find him balls deep in some tramp from his office.

You left without a word, but it felt like something of yours had stayed there, with them. Like they’d chipped away a piece of you and left it lying there on the carpet.

As you walked aimlessly for hours, the city started to feel like it was dying around you. 

The night was made of flickering street lights, sirens, broken glass and junkies. You thought about leaving, starting somewhere fresh, but what was the point? You'd have to take your baggage with you wherever you went.

Keeping your head down and your pace swift, you half-listened to the faded whispers of people passing you in the street, but even those were eventually drowned out by the pattering of rain against the sidewalk. 

Turning into one of the city’s many dreary backstreets, you saw a solitary neon sign bathing the uneven concrete and murky puddles in a jarring red light. 

The only place that was open this late, Stark’s Bar.

It was the end of the earth, the rock under which all the sad and lonely insects of the city crawled. You’d never been inside, never before sunk low enough to warrant a visit, but tonight it seemed to be calling your name.

As soon as you tugged the door open, the heavy scent of stale beer and cigarette smoke hit you like a wall, knocking you backwards. But inside was warm, dry and quiet. 

That’s all you wanted.

Keeping your eyes fixed on the sticky, creaking floor, you trudged towards the bar, taking the first free stool you found. A broad torso planted itself opposite you, blocking out the dim light that streamed from underneath the crooked lampshades.

‘Double scotch.’

‘You sure you’re in the right place?’

The torso’s low voice came from above your head, but you didn’t bother glancing up. You didn’t have the energy or the inclination for conversation right now.

‘Double scotch.’

The dim light returned, only interrupted again when a tumbler flecked with hard water stains and half-full of liquor was dropped in front of you.

You stared at that glass for what felt like hours, just thinking.

There was no way you could go home tonight. You’d struggle to ever set foot in that apartment again, the whole place was scattered with painful reminders of everything you’d lost. Maybe you should call your mom, ask her to pick a few things up for you.

Tomorrow.

Tonight, just find a motel and sob yourself to sleep. 

---

I know you're wondering why you wish you were dead And there's no solace in the fact that it's all in your head

That flickering red light just kept leading you back to where you knew you belonged.

You dropped yourself on the same barstool and waited for the torso to plant itself in front of you again, ordering the same drink as you had for the past however many nights you’d been here. They all seemed to blur into one.

Something different happened this time, though.

The shadow didn’t shift. You waited, eyes fixed downwards, but the dim yellow light didn’t return.

‘Are you alright?’

This was only the second time you’d heard the torso speak, but the voice was much firmer than last time.

‘Fine.’

‘So you’re depressed and a liar? Not a great combination.’

Your eyes shot up, widening a little as you took in the monolith of a man in front of you. His dark, stained t-shirt was stretched over his thick shoulders, bright pink lips trained into a slight smirk as he kept his gaze fixed on you.

‘Excuse me?’

He placed his hands flat on the counter either side of you, bracing himself against the bar and bringing his face down to level with yours. ‘You been in here four nights in a row. Ordered a double scotch without even looking at me, sat for a couple hours staring at it and then left without a word. You’re telling me you’re fine? Whatever.’

'Maybe it's none of your goddamn business, asshole.'

'So drink at home.’

You watched him back away, his sharp blue eyes only breaking from yours when he eventually turned around.

He was right, you definitely weren’t fine, but you figured the only thing sadder than drinking in this place was picking up a ten dollar bottle of whiskey from a liquor store and drinking it alone in your motel room.

Besides, it made you feel a little better knowing that you probably weren’t the most tragic loser in the place.

---

Don't bother flying when we jump off the cliff Make sure it's head first if you don't want to deal with what ifs

When you arrived the next night, a double scotch was waiting on the bar above your usual stool.

You flicked your eyes up to the bartender, who gave you a nod and a knowing smile as you climbed onto your seat, your gaze slowly wandering down the length of his arms. The way they tensed and shifted as he slowly polished a glass was almost mesmerising.

It was only a minute or so before he approached.

‘Still fine?’

Maybe it was the crippling loneliness, the bottle of wine you’d had earlier in your motel room or just the fact that he was the only human being who’d smiled at you all week, but the idea of opening up and spilling all to this perfect stranger really wasn’t as unappealing as it should’ve been.

‘Been better.’

‘No shit.’ He reached a bottle of scotch from under the counter and topped up your drink, knowing full well you hadn’t so much as touched it yet. ‘I always thought we should rename this place Rock Bottom.’

A faint laugh escaped your lips. ‘Funnily enough, that doesn’t make me feel much better.’

‘Maybe not.’ He edged your drink a little closer to you. ‘But this will.’

The golden liquid rippled around the glass as you plucked it from the bar, squeezing your eyes shut and necking it down in one.

His smile widened into an astonished grin, making your face begin to heat up and your chest tighten slightly.

‘Bucky.’  

‘Y/n.’ You felt the corners of your mouth curl up slightly, a movement they’d almost forgotten.

‘Nice smile, y/n.’

Your gaze stayed on him as he went back to work, serving all the other hopeless nonentities propping themselves up on the bar. It only wavered when you felt your phone vibrate against your thigh.

It was him, your ex, asking if you could talk. He wanted to work things out.

Five days since it’d happened and this was the first time he’d tried to get in touch.

This fucking asshole had banged some random bitch in your bed, made you to live out of a duffle bag in a sleazy motel for almost a week and then expected you to come crawling back as soon as he whistled?

Fuck, he knew exactly what he was doing. 

He knew you’d be low and vulnerable. He knew you’d be tempted. He knew that, even now, you were still wrapped around his little finger.

And it hurts, and it hurts But I don't wanna talk about it

A rogue tear escaped from the corner of your eye, rolling halfway down your cheek before being quickly and firmly wiped away, its brief presence going unnoticed by most of the other figures scattered around the bar.

Most, not all. 

‘Hey, you see that dude over there?’

Bucky folded his arms on top of the bar so he was eye level with you, gesturing his head slightly towards a white-haired man in a three piece suit, sitting alone at a table in the corner behind two empty martini glasses.

You had no idea where this was going, but you were pretty glad for the distraction. ‘Mhmm.’

‘Used to be a millionaire. Invested all his money in CDs in ‘98 and lost it all when Steve Jobs invented the iPod. He was married to Claudia Schiffer for a couple months but she left him when he couldn’t afford to pay for her nose job.’

A single, full-throated guffaw escaped your lips, making you clamp your hand over your mouth before slowly lowering it and muttering. ‘That is absolute bullshit.’

‘You got me.’ He leaned in a little. ‘Fun though, right? You try.’

You bit your lip slightly, gazing at him for a few seconds before reluctantly nodding and beginning to scan the room. This place was so full of eccentrics and weirdos, it was difficult to choose just one.

'Alright. Woman over there.’

Bucky twisted slightly to look at a very broad, stern-looking woman sitting at the bar, wisps of dyed red hair clinging to the moisture on her forehead. ‘Go on.’

‘She used to work security for Bryan Adams. The two of them were best friends, but he fired her after she got hammered and told him that she was in love with him. She can’t listen to Summer of ‘69 without sobbing, he broke her heart.’

His eyes darted back to you. ‘And how did she feel about that?’

Your gaze was fixed on your subject but it felt more like you were looking straight through her, your mind wandering somewhere else entirely, words falling into your mouth spilling out involuntarily.

‘Like someone shoved their hand into her chest, grabbed a handful of anything they could feel and just ripped it out. Like all the sensations in her body had been permanently replaced with waves of fear and dread that got better and worse at seemingly random intervals. Like the last four years of her life meant nothing to-’

You stopped suddenly, eyes shooting back towards him as you realised what you'd said. He stood up straight, triumphantly folding his arms across his broad chest, smirking down at you.

‘Bingo.’

'Oh what do you think you are, a fucking shrink?'

'In this job, gotta be.'

'Cause in my dreams, I miss you Then I wake up to reality's bliss

For the first time, you decided to hang around at the bar until it closed. You weren’t sure why, you had no idea what you were hoping would happen, but every minute that passed made your motel room seem less and less appealing.

Bucky called last orders, and minutes later the few remaining dispossessed wandered out into the red-bathed side street.

You hoisted yourself onto your feet, turning to leave but stopping dead when a full bottle of whiskey was firmly planted on the bar in front of you, a very smug-looking barman smirking at you from behind it.

The two of you sequestered yourselves to a snug, dimly lit corner and began sharing the liquor straight from the bottle.

As you stared blankly out the front window, you could feel his eyes roaming over you, a sensation you were enjoying far more than you were letting on. Being this close, you could pick up his faint scent of old spice and cigarettes, you could hear his deep, slow breathing and feel his muscular thigh pressed up against yours.

‘He messed you up pretty good, huh?’ You nodded faintly, keeping your gaze fixed forward. ‘Wanna talk about it?’

‘Nothing to say, really. After four years I caught him fucking someone else. It is what it is.’

He scoffed, taking a long swig before holding the bottle out to you. ‘What a fucking asshole.’

‘Mhmm.’

‘If it helps, my last girlfriend stole my TV to buy weed.’

You almost choked on a mouthful of liquor, just about managing to swallow it as you choked back fits of laughter. ‘That does help, actually.’

‘Thought it might.’ He reached over and gently pried the bottle from your hand, placing it on the table and shifting himself to face you. ‘Seems like we’re both shit outta luck.’

‘You’re not wrong there.’

As you slowly turned towards him, the wild look in his eyes made the hard thumping in your chest quicken, your lungs tightening slightly as you rapidly pulled in shallow breaths. You to adjusted yourself as his arm slid over the back of your seat.

Letting your eyelids flutter closed, you focused on the gentle stroking of his fingertips over your shoulder, the feeling of his warm breath brushing over your lips as he leant towards you, the soft pressure of the side of his nose against yours and the muffled bump as your foreheads connected. 

Everything else melted from your mind, all the stress and misery of the last few days briefly disappearing in the distance as you just let yourself live in this moment. 

His hand moved up to cradle the side of your face, drawing it towards his and finally closing the gap between you.

Now all I ever wanted and all I ever needed is right here In the stranger's kiss.

---

Permanent Taglist: @nnuree @tcc-gizmachine @emmabarnes @somewhatasoftbaddie @juenenfeu @ddowii @rebekahdawkins @x0xchristine @maevemarethyu @thechaoticargonaut @yayrainday @linkpk88 @mcolbz14 @indigo123789 @verygraphicink (Italicised names are untaggable)

---

[btsslowburnfic]

The Arrangement Chapter 11

Series Summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi.

Chapter Summary: You and Yoongi each share a little of your fucked up pasts

Previous chapter here

----------

The two of you entered the studio. Yoongi headed for the desk chair. "You can take the couch." 

You gave him a bottle of water and pulled the gimbap out of your purse, handing one to him. 

"Thanks. Now do you see why I don't go to those meetings?" He began to tear the wrapping off the gimbap.

"Yep. That was brutal. They literally just read off of the PowerPoint slides." You took a bite of your food. 

Yoongi scrolled through his phone. "We should go shopping tonight. The stores will be packed tomorrow and Sunday." 

"I don't mind. I can just go tomorrow or something." 

He looked over at you. "I don't do crowds. Let's go tonight."

You sighed, it was clear you weren't winning this argument. "Sounds good. What time will you get done with work today?" You asked, glad some of the negativity was fading from him. 

"I need to do some producing. But I'll try to take a break at 7 and then we can go shopping." 

You almost died a little at how normal and domestic this all sounded. A small part of you wanted your life to be so different from the fucked up life you had experienced as a child. This could be your life. This could be it. It's fake. I don't care. 

"OK sounds good." you finished up your sandwich. "I'm off to continue answering questions that people could easily look up online." 

"Better you than me," he said. 

You stuck your hand out for the sandwich wrapper and sighed.  "Yep. It’s definitely not  work befitting Min Suga genius." You teased as you exited the studio. 

Yoongi smiled and turned around to face his computer. What the fuck was happening? Two days in and he had already bought you towels and was getting ready to go grocery shopping with you. Might as well skip to the wedding at this point, he thought jokingly. At least then someone else would have bought the towels for you. 

---------------

Yoongi picked at his cuticles, his alarm was set to go off in a few minutes. He had done some mixing, but for the most part he ended up writing. He had been very inspired lately for lyrics. Usually it was the beats that came more easily to him and he had to seek out experiences for his lyrics. But lately he had so many feelings and experiences just itching to come out. 

He was worried after that night at the bar that you would distract him from his job but so far he had found the opposite to be true. He was thinking about you less because he knew you were in the office or the apartment. He wasn’t wondering what you were doing all the time. Not that he cared.  Not that he had thought about you all the time. And it was nice to have someone answer emails and calls, and deliver coffee. 

He turned his alarm off preemptively and stood up. He exited the studio. There was no one left on the 14th floor. That wasn’t unusual. He stopped by your desk. It was totally empty. He frowned. How could a person the same age as him have only 2 bags of belongings he wondered. He took out his phone.

YG: What’s going on with Ms. [YLN] work laptop? I see it hasn’t arrived yet. She needs it immediately to help coordinate my collaborations. Additionally, she needs appropriate stationary.

JW: Of course Mr. Min. I will follow up with the IT department immediately and let you know. As for the office supplies I can provide her with some basic stationary immediately. If you require personalized stationary the lead time on orders is 2 weeks. I can send a link to have you/her look over it.

YG: Thank you Jiwoo. Please do that.

Satisfied with himself, he put his phone back in his pocket and headed over to the elevator. He got in. A girl he recognized as Alice, Jin’s main stylist was already on. She had a make-up train case with her and seemed irritated. He gave her a nod of acknowledgement and noticed the button for the 18th floor was already pushed. 

They both awkwardly stood in silence for the short ride. 

The elevator arrived at the 18th floor. Yoongi gestured to her to exit first. She did and headed down the other way towards Jin’s apartment. He must have some event tonight Yoongi thought as he went the other direction to his apartment. He walked in, just realizing he hadn’t been home since yesterday morning. He sighed. It wasn’t unusual for him to spend days at a time in the studio. The first thing he noticed was that his apartment smelled like coffee and girl. It wasn’t a bad thing. It was just different.

He continued into the living room and looked around. There was a light on in the kitchen and a half-empty pot of coffee.  He could see a light peeking out from under your bedroom door. He took out his phone.

YG: I’m home. I’m going to grab a shower first and then we can go. You don’t have to stay holed up in the bedroom.

He walked upstairs, put his phone on the charger, and showered.

You woke up from your nap right at 6:58. Yoongi hadn’t struck you as the type to ever get home from work early so you hadn’t worried about being ready right at 7. You checked your messages and saw where he had texted you as well as Jimin. You pulled on some jeans and a sweatshirt and headed out to the living room. 

JM: 2 pm. Meet me in the lobby of the 6th floor. Bring a tank top and leggings so you can try on clothes over them. Also I HATE YOU WE WERE THERE UNTIL 5 OMFG 

YN: Sorry sorry XD I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again!

Yoongi emerged a few minutes later wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt and looking like a damn snack. “Hey.” He walked over to the kitchen and opened the cabinets to check the ingredients. He looked back over his shoulder, “Seriously, I meant what I texted, Make yourself at home. I'm never here anyways." 

You moved over to the barstool. "Thanks. I'm just so used to sharing small spaces with lots of people I don't really take up a lot of space. The coffee is fresh by the way. I had a cup before napping just now." 

Yoongi didn't really respond, opening up the refrigerator. The two of you were surprised to suddenly hear yelling and screaming in the hallway. 

"What the hell? "Yoongi asked, shutting the fridge and walking over to the front door. “Not again," he muttered under his breath. It sounded like a woman yelling. The blood in your veins ran ice cold, your tongue slowly turned to lead. You heard the front door open and felt dizzy. Suddenly you were in an apartment with Suho and there was screaming. You took a deep breath. No. No. That was years ago. You were in Seoul. You were safe. There were guards here and Yoongi was here. Yoongi? You shook your head, looking around. You started to panic again. 

The woman had stopped screaming. You heard the voices of two men and slowly staggered out towards the hallway. 

"What the fuck Jin?" you heard Yoongi yell. 

"I know. I know. She's just difficult."

"Your girlfriend is a fucking asshole." You heard a girl yell. You recognized her as Alice. She was pulling her make up case down the hallway and crying hard. 

"Alice I'm sorry. You know Lin is a little crazy. She didn't mean any of the stuff she said." Jin pleaded with her.

Alice was sobbing as she pushed the elevator button. "Tell yourself that, jin." 

You didn't want to stare. You felt wrong watching all of this happen but you were also numb at this point, almost experiencing it as though you were outside your body. 

Yoongi breathed in sharply. "Just go home Jin. But this is the second time this week. She needs some  anger management classes or something." Yoongi looked over and saw you standing there, peeking around the corner. 

"Enjoying the show?" He said irritated. 

You snapped back to reality and shook your head. You weren't nosy. You had been scared and didn't want to be in the apartment alone. Yoongi got on the elevator with Alice, leaving you and Jin in the hallway. 

" Goddammit," you heard Jin say as he walked back to his apartment. 

You stood there for a minute replaying everything that had just happened. You took a few deep breaths. Suho wasn't here. You were fine. Yoongi was fine. Apparently Jin had a crazy girlfriend. Alice was Jin's stylist. And Yoongi thought you were a nosey asshole. Great. 

You didn't feel like you could go back to the apartment right now so you decided to head out for a walk. 

-----------

"You don't have to come with me. You don't even know me." Alice sniffed. "I know how to ride an elevator." 

Yoongi shrugged. "Your name is Alice. You've been around for 3 years but became Jin's main stylist a year ago. You are hopelessly in love with him and his new girlfriend suspects. Tell me I'm wrong." 

Alice sniffled, her silence acting as confirmation.  Yoongi observed so much, quietly watching his coworkers over the years. “This is embarrassing.” She sniffled.

" You should file a complaint with the HR department. She can't just scream at staff members." 

"I'm just a stylist."

"Well I'll be filing a complaint. Her loud yelling is fucking annoying." Yoongi put his hands in his pockets and rocked back and forth on his heels. 

Alice laughed a little at that. "Yeah. She's fucking mean. They've actually been dating on and off for years. She yells at Jin too and he always just takes it. That's why she screamed at me tonight. She called him a worthless idiot for like the 500th time and I finally just snapped and told her to shut up."

Yoongi pressed his lips together. He never would have imagined that Jin was being verbally abused. He suddenly felt bad he had been so short with him a few minutes ago. 

The elevator arrived at the 7th floor where several of the girl's dormitories were. "Rest up. She's a bitch." Yoongi said to Alice as she got ready to exit.

"Yeah, thanks. Sorry I've never really talked to you before."

Yoongi shrugged . "It's fine." He pushed the door close button and back to the 18th floor. He had been so surprised to see you standing there. He didn't think you'd be interested in gossip, you had seemed so mature. 

He walked back into the apartment. "Y/N I'm back. Are you ready to go to the store?" 

Silence. 

He sent a message to your phone and heard it ping from the countertop. 

Shit. 

--------------

Yoongi walked outside. It was a little cold out. He tried to tell himself he wasn't chasing after you or looking for you. He was just out stretching his legs. If he happened to run into you, fine. But if not, fine. He reasoned that without your phone or wallet, you had to be nearby. He had left a note for you in the apartment just in case you got back before he did.

Y/N,

Hey. Sorry for all the loud drama. Jin's gf sucks. Text me. You still owe me jjigae.

 He walked through one of the little parks that stood between the skyscrapers and the river. He figured he would do a short lap and then head back. He hated the cold, he thought again as he rubbed his hands together. 

"Yoongi?" he heard a voice. He looked over at the swingset and saw you sitting there. 

"Hey," he walked over. "You left."

"Sorry, I needed some fresh air."  You responded as you watched your breath form in the air.

Yoongi took a seat on the swing next to you. "Yeah. Sorry about that. Jin's girlfriend is apparently awful." 

"Yeah. Poor Alice. I met her the other day, she seemed so sweet."

“How do you already know so many people?” Yoongi wondered aloud. He had been there for years and barely knew anybody. 

You shrugged, “I guess bartending made me good at talking to people.” 

“How did you get into it?” 

“Bartending? Well I wanted a job where I could work nights so I could also have a day job. And the money was really good.”

“That's always your main job criteria?” Yoongi said flippantly.

Rude. “That's a little mean but yea. I'm the main adult who has to support my two siblings and I've had to since I was 20 years old. I had to drop out of college so there's not many options. I haven’t had the luxury of choosing jobs that I might actually be interested in.”  

Yoongi felt like such a shithead. “Sorry. That was a dick thing of me to say. You’re right,  it would be nice if you could have the ability to do a job because you like it. Not because of the money.” 

“It's OK. I'm just sensitive about it.” You looked off in the distance at the river.

“You should be proud. When I was 20 I wasn’t able to even support myself, let alone take care of anybody else.” 

You shrugged. “I’m sure you could have if you had to.”

“No. I’m telling you. When I was 20 I was on my own. And I was homeless because I couldn’t support myself. So the fact that you actually made it work while taking care of people is pretty amazing.”

“Thanks. And wow. I had no idea. That sucks. I’m glad you’re not homeless anymore.” You looked over at him. You never would have guessed. You just assumed he had always been well off. 

“Right? That would suck.” Yoongi agreed, glad you weren’t turning his trauma into a big deal. “Yeah, I got discovered by a talent scout and BigHit brought me to Seoul and set me up in one of the dorms here.”

“Wow. I got discovered by some rich asshole with dimples in a bar, who I thought was running a sex-trafficking ring.” You joked. Yoongi laughed, while gently swinging. 

"While we’re sharing our tragic backstories, that's actually one of the reasons I came out there." You began. You figured if Yoongi was willing to share some of his fucked-up ness you could do the same. "In the hallway. I didn't want to be alone. People yelling and screaming puts me on edge. I wasn’t trying to be nosy" you thought about how to best phrase what you wanted to say next. "I was raised in an environment where that happened a lot. Yelling. Screaming. And things got very violent, very quickly, in our house." 

Yoongi sat next to you on the swings listening intently to your confession. He never would have guessed that about you. You seemed so well-adjusted." I'm sorry that you grew up in a place like that." He said, carefully studying your face." And I'm sorry that Jin's girlfriend caused you to be uncomfortable. I had no idea or I wouldn't have said anything to you about being in the hallway" 

"it's OK. Well, I mean, it's not ok  what happened to me, but it's over now. Thanks." you looked over at him. He was blowing on his hands. "Are you cold?"

"Yes, it’s freezing out here" 

You scoffed, “It's a little cold. Here," you stood up and put your hands around his before he could object.

"How are you so hot?” He asked, enjoying the furnace of your hands. 

“You know I look in the mirror every day and ask myself the same question.” You replied with a straight face. Yoongi wrinkled his nose causing you to laugh. “Come on. I don’t want to get fired for letting you freeze to death.” You pulled on his hands to get him off the swing. “Do you still want to go shopping?”

“Yep. I have the list in my phone. Since we’re already out let’s walk to the real grocery store. The BigHit store has an ok amount of things, but not as much as an outside store.”

“Ok, I need to go back and grab my wallet.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“But I--”

“You’ve seen my apartment. Don’t argue with me.” He started to walk back towards the city center. 

You sighed. Yes. He was super rich and you weren’t. “Fine. But I am doing this under protest.”

“Your protest is noted, come along, assistant. I’ll let you carry the bags.” NEXT CHAPTER

@lidda @anpanman-sonyeondan​  @firefairy1​  @cuteipat​  @sugaslittlekookies​  @janeelizabeth1216​ @deeepvibes​ @gxldenhunny​