#it probably doesn't matter if he likes them but I want to know

[pha55ed]

Winter Wonderland || F1/F2

type :: fluff

tw/cw :: none

contains :: carlos, charles, lando, oscar, max, ollie, paul, pepe

summary :: decorating your home together for the holiday season with the drivers

xmas celly here! || f1 masterlist || f2 masterlist

Carlos Sainz | 55

Very vintage, and rich looking

It's a true money style of richness, with a big ass tree filled with presents underneath it

There's even ribbons on all the gifts

Why? Because his mom and other family members are so rich and retired that they're fucking bored and added it

Most likely you live with him and he just reuses the same ornaments and stuff from last year

But you don't care, it's so pretty

But!!!! You two get a little custom ornament that's really cute

Probably your anniversary date or smth on it

Charles Leclerc | 16

A nice rich Christmas too, but more sleek and modern-ish

He loved decorating as a kid with his siblings but now that he has his own tree??? Man that's so much work

He'll let you take care of the tree and most of the decor, but he doesn't just sit on his ass

He'll help pick the items, theme, etc

And also help put up the heavy duty stuff, like lights around the house and stuff

But putting each and every flower into the reefs??? Oh noooo he's suddenly so soreeee nooooo

After like 10 ornaments, he's suddenly complaining and saying "my physical therapist told me it's bad to do repetitive motions"

He's a liar but you don't even care, cause he bought everything for you

And he'll give you constant praise in person and online for your decorating skills

Lando Norris | 04

Frat boy party vibes but honestly,,, I fuck with it

Tons of colors, lights, and it's so fun to look at

Loves decorating with you and making it very chaotic

And also very ghetto...

This man doesn't even use staples or tape to hold up the lights on the wall

Why? Because he couldn't find any and didn't wanna go out to get them

So now your lights are being held up by wood glue... or your eyelash glue that he stole... or any random sticky substance...

No he doesn't use old condoms, don't think that

Oscar Piastri | 81

He don't gaf

However YOU want to decorate, he obeys

Whether that's an all pink tree, ugly ahh skinny tree that holds one ornament, or the biggest more extravagant Christmas ever

If his beautiful partner tells him to stfu he stfu, like a good boyfriend

And even better???

He not only pays for any decoration you want, no matter how expensive or stupid it is (he just loves seeing you happy)

But he also helps put up and cleans EVERYTHING

He's up on the roof decorating, cleaning the fireplace just to make it pretty, and even re-arranging the entire living room just for you to have the perfect spot for the tree

Some call him whipped

I call him a real man

Max Verstappen | 01

He also don't gaf

But, not in the Oscar way

He fr doesn't gaf at all

Expect an ugly ass tree, or most likely not even a tree

If you're lucky, you'll get the strip of reef in the pic above

But there's a very high chance that you'll just get a printed photo of a Christmas tree that's hung on the wall

BUT he does love stupid Christmas decor

So things like a funny statue, a creepy elf on the shelf, etc are all very welcomed

Luckily, Max isn't an asshole and will 10000% celebrate however you like at all

He's just gonna follow your lead and do whatever is needed from it... With minimal effort firstly...

Oliver Bearman | 87

Like Max, but really cute and funny

He has the Christmas spirit and loves it very much

One thing he did that's very very cute is that he ordered those big inflatable

But he didn't check the size...

So now you have a 35feet tall Satan in your yard!!! Yay!!!

He's in the Christmas spirit and he got the right idea

Maybe he doesn't have the skill to decorate it,,, but he has the spirit!

Paul Aron | 17

A classy and modern Christmas

Most likely white and a bit of a snow theme going on

Mixed with black too, cause that's his aesthetic ya know

He's very active when it comes to decorating

Always helping you pick what to get, which matches each other, etc

He's also very worried about the measurements, so he always makes sure to take note of the space you have to make sure everything fits

Also helps you put everything up, it's so sweet and domestic

Like: he holds your waist while you stand on the ladder to put the star up

Pepe Marti | 21

I'm mad at him rn cause why is every photo of him so bad

But he's so painfully unaware of the fact that he's tall

The tree only has ornament son the top

All the lights and decorations are put where you can't even see

And he keeps assigning you tasks that you cannot reach

Which he learns to take note of, always laughing at you before saying sorry

The decoration is very warm and homey

Definitely the type to bring over his friends to have dinner all together

His home isn't crazy decorated, but still nice and cozy

Which perfectly matches your relationship's vibes

[kanansdume]

My preferred flavor of Codywan is both of them being so aroace that absolutely no one outside of the relationship has any idea whether they're in a relationship or not at any given point in time. Cody and Obi-Wan always know, there's never any confusion between the two of them about where they stand with each other. It's just other people who aren't sure. And there are varying levels of reactions to that uncertainty.

All the way down at the bottom is Anakin who has exactly zero clue about whether Cody and Obi-Wan are in a relationship or not, and cannot handle not knowing, but he also doesn't really feel comfortable just coming out and asking Obi-Wan about it, so he's constantly setting up weird little traps to see if he can catch them in a compromising position and they never work. It drives him completely bonkers.

At the exact opposite end of the spectrum are most of the Jedi who might have more of a clue as to whether they're in a relationship or not depending on how familiar they are with Obi-Wan, but they also are so used to relationships among the Jedi being defined very loosely and so they really have no issue with not knowing for sure. If Cody and Obi-Wan want someone to know, they will say something. It's really none of their business most of the time and as long as both people involved seem happy and healthy, that's all that matters.

Somewhere in the middle would be people like Padme and Bail, who would probably also decide it's not technically their business, but they're also absolutely curious about it. Bail I think would be polite enough to not really let on about his curiosity outside of maybe some conversations with Breha. But Padme, spurred on by Anakin's absolute insanity over it, might try to drop some hints in conversations with Obi-Wan or pursue information through other sources to get more information. She thinks she's being really subtle about how nosy she is, but she's not.

Cody and Obi-Wan generally do not care about how others perceive their relationship, it works for them and makes them happy. They're not TRYING to keep secrets or anything, they're just living their lives the way they want to and it happens to not fit within specific boxes or labels. If directly asked, they're happy to admit that they are in fact in a relationship with each other.

The one exception to this is Anakin because they just really enjoy fucking with Anakin and all of his dumb traps and making sure he keeps getting contradictory information because it's hilarious to keep him guessing. Obi-Wan thinks one day he'll just let Anakin in on the secret to put him out of his misery. Cody has absolutely no intention of ever letting that happen.

[gothghostiie]

In the spirit of Christmas approaching, and as someone who prefers making gifts to buying them (for many reasons, the main two being that I love making things and forcing ppl to look at them and that I’m fuckin broke lmao), how do u think the 141 lads would react to receiving a gift from their spouse that was made by them? Like a drawing, something they knitted/stitched, or even a sculpture?

using this as my merry Christmas post so

merry Christmas and happy holidays yall<3 I hope ur having a great time and enjoying urself, sending much much love, mwah <3

cw: fluff, gn!reader + bonus what they would gift you

Price is a sucker for that stuff. handknit sweater? he'll wear that thing until it's barely more than a thread. nothing more cozy than something someone handmade with love specifically for him, nothing will ever be as comfy. that goes for anything handmade, he'll treasure it until he can't. nothing makes him feel more loved than anything handmade. hes has a hard time gifting things usually and will flat out ask and get what you asked for, but also add some stuff that he thought you might like. huge fan of practical gifts.

Gaz absolutely adores anything you make yourself, especially decorative items. paintings, stitching, sculptures, little trinkets, adores all of it with his whole heart. will keep everything with him, everything around the house/apartment. and he notices is somethings missing too, absolutely upset until he finds it again. he immediately finds a place for whatever you gave to him. kyle isnt really the one to gift materialistic things (sure, you get some jewelry or those new headphones you wanted) but he always gifts creative dates that he takes you on.

Soap is also a sucker for anything handmade. is a huge, huge fan of handmaking presents himself (he mostly draws, will 100% gift you a drawing too) and loves receiving them just as much. your skill level doesn't matter one bit, whether it be a patchy painting, a wonky mug or a sweater with holes, he'll proudly wear/display it and make sure you know just how much he loves it. as I said, you'll get a drawing - probably a portrait he secretly drew of you while you were doing the most mundane shit ever and he couldn't help but think you're gorgeous.

ghost is a secret christmas lover imo. colourful lights, christmas tree, sinple deco. he doesn't really want/ask for gifts, tells people there's nothing he wants when they ask. but listen: handmake him a balaclava. that man will propose to you on the spot. I'm so serious. appreciates any gifts he gets, especially handmade, keeps saying you shouldn't have, but that will make him fall hard. hes the type of guy where you think youll get a gift card at best, but you get almost anything you wanted but didnt get over the year. that cute mug? that sweater? those earrings? all yours, he remebered.

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can I request headcanons for Dick, and Jason being told by their shy gn crush that he doesn't need to do it as he's under the mistletoe with them please?

Dick

Jokes on you if you think this man is going to walk away from this golden opportunity that he had been waiting -and planning for- the entire night.

So needless to say this man was both restless and excited that he finally got you under the mistletoe with him, so much so that it was blatantly obvious for all to see that you were the one he wanted under that mistletoe with him, no one else could elicit such a strong reaction out of him like you could.

When you tell him meekly that he didn’t have to do this only made him all the more eager to prove that this was what he wanted to do, for there was no other better time then this for Dick to easily confess or show his innermost love for you.

Dick smiles sympathetically at you as he raises your head by your chin until you were looking at each other in the eyes, his smile becomes more genuine when you did as he leant towards you with the intention of speaking to you without others listening in.

‘Now where did that come from?’ He’d ask softly.

‘I just don’t want you to feel forced into doing anything you didn’t want.’ You reply. ‘I know it’s a tradition but no one should be forced to participate if they don’t want to.’ You then added on.

Dick made a face of thought before pushing his forehead to press against your own as he said. ‘Well what if I did want to do this? What if I sad that I’ve been waiting to do something like this the entire night that I had it planned specifically for us?’

You started into his eyes with confusion and Dick would be lying if he said it wasn’t adorable because it was. ‘Why?’ You ask him and it felt like the funniest thing he was ever told but he quickly composed himself as you would probably take it the wrong way if he did.

instead he just caresses your cheeks when his hands held your face as though it was precious and priceless treasure that he could ever hold within his hands. ‘Maybe because I like you silly and have been thinking about kissing you for a while and thought ‘hey why not kiss under the mistletoe?’ Dick tells you as he chuckles lightly at your wide eyed expression as though silently asking him if he was serious.

And sweetheart this man was more than serious, way more.

‘So cutie, would you mind if I kissed you under the mistletoe?’ He whispered to you, wanting you to have the choice to make your own decision like you gave him the chance to walk away from this, he didn’t want you to do anything you didn’t feel fully comfortable for.

You placed your hands atop of his own and smiled sweetly at him. ‘I wouldn’t mind it at all, as long as it’s you I wouldn’t want anything else.’ You admitted as dick closed the gap between you two as you shared a sweet kiss beneath the mistletoe, bringing forth a beginning of your new relationship with the most beautiful and wonderful man you have ever met.

Jason

Jason wasn’t the type to be caught under the mistletoe whatsoever ever as he tended to masterfully avoid it however he could, kissing under it was not his thing, but thanks to the unspoken feelings he had towards you and suddenly this man is etching towards the doorway with the mistletoe in hopes that he could coincidentally get lucky with having you there.

So when his wish does come true and you’re both under the mistletoe, it’s anything but like the silly movies and cheesy books that Jason read in his free time, that and because they were on clearance sale in the local bookstore to give way for more room for more books in the future.

Jason didn’t want to put you in a position where you would be made to feel uncomfortable or had no choice in the matter, and yet hearing you tell him that he didn’t have to kiss you under the mistletoe as you looked anywhere but him, made his heart hurt as a result but he knew that if he wanted to advance your relationship then sometimes he’ll have to be the one to take the bold step forward.

However if it was for you? Then Jason will gladly be the one to always take that brave step forward to show you that not everything was scary and that some times were worth the risk.

‘Why would you think that I don’t want to do this chipmunk?’ He’d ask you.

‘You don’t like these types of things, force proximity and the social pressures of making two people kiss for the sake of upholding a tradition,’ you shrugged as you burrowed your hands into your hoodie, ‘you just don’t like those types of things as it forces affection and you’d do anything to get out of Dick’s apparent and away from this little get together before he does something…’

‘Stupid? Ridiculous?’ Jason listed off on his fingers.

‘Dick like is more what I was looking for.’ You chuckled as Jason locked eyes with you and suddenly the you were seen, you could see the love within his eyes and suddenly the room felt warmer then usual when Jason reached for your hands within your hoodie to hold them in his own.

‘Well I can tell you that I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but with you, and since your stood here under the mistletoe I am too, where you go I go sweetheart. You can’t get rid of me that easily as I’ll always want to be wherever you are regardless of my feelings towards it or not because all that matters to me is that I have you.’ Jason tells you, finally getting the words that he wanted to get off of his chest at long, long last.

‘Now would you allow me to kiss you under this cheap piece of plastic mistletoe chipmunk.’ Jason then says in a lighthearted tone, smiling in that charming way that always had you feeling butterflies within your stomach. ‘You didn’t need to ask Jason but yes I would love to.’ You replied.

The kiss you both shared under the ‘cheap piece of plastic’ was sweet, tender and addicting all the same as you both smiled against the others lips, happy to know that there would be new journeys ahead of you both that you can walk through together.

[rowie264]

For me it's easier to sympathize zaunite characters rather than piltovan ones simply because they have self-awareness

Silco knows he flooded Zaun with drugs, he knows what this shit does to people. He does it anyway to achieve his main goal - Nation of Zaun.

Jinx is aware she is crazy. She basically spells it out in s1 ep9. She knows that she killing ppl is bad. She just doesn't care

Sevika is Silco's right hand man. She does dirty job for him and and understands perfectly well how his methods affect Zaun. She doesn't even question it because his methods work, and as long as they work, she will work with him.

Singed is just the same. He'll do anything for his daughter no matter how horrific his actions are. He doesn't justify it, simply states it was "for love".

And what we have with piltovan characters? You see because s2 is trying to pretend that oppression wasn't such big thing all piltovan characters looks even worse.

Caitlyn gasses people (and not only barons and their goons, gas spreads), using her priveledge as a Sheriff and Councilor's daughter. She never adresses that and never spells out what had she'd done. Like, yeah, she says "we can't erase our mistakes" (s2 ep8) probably not meaning just Jinx's but also her own but that's so… shallow. Like writers couldn't let her really say aloud what she'd done and face consequences bc it would makes bad things too real.

Heimerdinger was one of the founders of Piltover and councilor. He either didn't know, either didn't care to figure out what happens in Undercity for decades. Like, he goes to Zaun after he gets kicked out from Council and finally realises how badly ppl live there but… he just closes his eyes on it? Again?

Jayce killed that kid in s1 and regretted it but once his mother tries to revenge him? Builds weapons immidiately as countermeasure and moves on. He kills dozens of zaunites in Viktor's commune by killing Viktor and doesn't show even a hint of remorse. Like yeah, they were gonna become creepy robots but you know they were still humans when he killed Viktor. Also he (with approval of the Council for sure) places that Hexgates' big core (dont remember how that shit was called) underground and if that thing would blow up Zaun would be left without water and fresh air. Spelled out by Ekko and immediately forgotten.

In the end by removing characters' awareness of their actions and lack of reflection makes piltovan characters either hypocrites, either stupid, either both. And no, i don't want all these characters to be punished for what they did (all chars - except Ekko maybe - would end up in jail lol) I just want characters to realize what they did. I want impact of their actions/inactions. I want real consequences. I want them to face these consequences, not just brush it aside. And then i want them to act according to their personalities, even if i personally wouldn't like what they'd do.

[multifandomhellhole]

HEYYYY SO WHEN YOU SAY YOU WRITE FOR LEAGUE OF LEGENDS. DOES THAT INCLUDE ARCANE??? I ABSOLUTELY NWED SOME DUBCON IDEAS WITH VIKTOR CAUSE HE MAKES ME SUDDENLY FEEL THINGS

Ah HELLLOOO FELLOW VIKTOR ENJOYER!!!!

yes! I do also write for arcane!!!! I should probably tag that and update the post so people don't think im league exclusive hegefkfifk

Dubious consent warning and since this is dom reader we are the perpetrator. Nothing highly explicit till I see if I get crucified with mild.

I guess for dubcon he really is the most appealing aside from puppy boy Jayce who could be manipulated by a sunny afternoon breeze. Specifically 30 age range Viktor as that's when his ego took a plummet and so did his sharper walls and self assurance. Literally the two people that gave Viktor the time of day ended up being his endgame so that right off the bat tells you how susceptible Viktor is to tender love and care and most of all appreciation for his mind.

However this is a porn post and we will not be going into his genius but rather his pants.

I really think it'd be easy to be a perv with Viktor's belongings. Once he's focused on that HexCore it's basically free range to move about. Yes he's listening intently to his surroundings even when hyper focused as we see when he already heard sky come in, but he's not looking. You can do anything really at that point no matter what he thinks he hears. That can be from stealing pens, discarded notes, old cups he's drunk from, etc. I think you'd even get away with a bit of self gratification while viewing him from behind if you can be quiet. Even handing him contaminated things without him realizing as he could care less about the state of his tools that have had so many non organic residues on them before. Not like he can tell the difference without breaking his precious concentration. Not only that but he's hardly ever not in the lab so snooping around his room and other places he's been in is a breeze. Especially since you can hear him coming with the steel toe of his brace and his crutch on the floors and make a break for it. You might even make a break for it with a pair of boxers if you are that bold and want to upgrade to clothing. Just don't steal his crutch while he's awake 😭

We also see that Viktor is shockingly receptive with physical touch. Both from people he doesn't know that well, to people he does! He doesn't even show shock to some gestures when Jayce touches him which means that if someone is a frequent flyer in touching him, he grows used to it. I feel like that can be used in selfish ways to feel him up and even try and encourage sexual responses from him. I think it could be fun pushing how far his acceptance goes before he realizes your intentions. And I think it's just fun to slowly corrupt his brain into thinking thigh touches from you are okay in a professional setting and that ass grabs are just accidents. Plus he'd be lying if getting a spontaneous shoulder massage every now and then doesn't feel wonderful for his tension headaches. Even if your hands eventually linger on the screw heads in his spine or catch on his back and shoulder brace. Or even brush around to his neck and chest more than a few times. Especially if you play it off like he's the filthy one for responding that way, or offended he'd even think you'd take advantage of him, he won't dare get suspicious of you. just Hell he might even start returning it if you have a big enough friendly and positively welcoming energy. Even if he is initially uncomfortable/ repulsed about the whole thing, if done right and with just the right amount of feigned innocence he gradually will lose the apprehension. Time and patience is definitely a thing for conditioning Viktor where Jayce is practically pre-trained.

Anyways I think this is my first dubcon post so only two for now given I'm testing waters with what I like and how raunchy I'm willing to go! This is also my first arcane post so hi I better get a 'this is my first impression of you' comment.

[undertalecookingwithkindness]

A Very Merry Christmas from The Eclipse!

It's that time of the year again! A time of merriment, jolliness and generosity! A time of hot cocoa, candy canes and gingerbread! A time of KINDNESS! It's Christmas!!!!

The staff at The Eclipse is getting everything ready for a big celebration, as you can see! The Christmas cheer is really flowing, though someone should probably go help Luna untangle themself from the Christmas lights... Still, why don't we have a look under the tree and at the gifts... Oh! It looks like one of them has your name on it! I wonder what it is?

Surprise! It's an update on Undertale Cooking With Kindness!

(Hmm, you don't look very surprised, were you shaking the gift box to figure out what was in it?)

UPDATE

It feels like we've been pretty quiet since the Halloween Update, huh? And that's for a good reason. As many of you may be intimately familiar with, the first chunk of December tends to be a time not of holly jolly cheer, but of hellish torture. Yes, I'm of course talking about

EXAM SEASON!!!

Indeed, many of our team members, myself included, were focusing on exams and schoolwork all of December and much of November, so very little progress has been made. Still, that doesn't mean no progress was made. We've got a lot to how off for you all today, but first, we've got a new team member to introduce you to.

Welcome our new artist and spriter: LightMoonCream! They drew Sunny in the Christmas illustration! You may be familiar with them from their work on Nighfell, but they've decided to hop on board the wild ride that is bringing The Eclipse to life! In the spirit of Christmas, let's all give them a very merry welcome to the team!

Speaking of very merry welcomes... It appears there's someone else that needs some introducing, I'm sure you've noticed him in the illustration or in the previous post that teased him, but it's finally time to properly introduce you to...

Courier!

Courier will be helping out with deliveries in the Eclipse. After all, everyone in the underground deserves a taste of the food at the Eclipse no matter how close or far they may live. Mawzz understood the potential in incorporating a delivery service into the business, so he called up one of his debtors goons employees. Courier will be flying you all across the Underground to help you deliver orders put in by customers.

According to Mawzz, and to his uniform, he used to work for the Underground Postal Service, but was fired for unknown reasons. He doesn’t talk about why that happened, but his firing does create a very shady gap in his resume...

Courier is a very outwardly serious and brooding monster. He’s here for business, not to make friends. However… he does have quite a few things that break through that cold exterior. He’s a little embarrassed about it, but he just can’t resist the allure of a shiny coin or of some sweet treat. Give him what he wants, and he may just open up a little bit. Just a bit though. The mask of coolness may be a façade, and perhaps not exactly a convincing one, but it’s one he’s committed to, damn it!

I suppose we should take a small aside to introduce deliveries. Staying in one place in the underground is cozy and all, but don't you feel like you're missing out on some fun exploration? Well, in deliveries, you'll leave the Eclipse and head off to familiar areas of the Underground to try and give a loyal customer their food. Sounds simple, right? What could possibly go wrong!

Do keep in mind, though, deliveries aren't planned to be included in the first demo. Still, that doesn't mean we have nothing to show off related to them.

You know what time it is? Get your carolling books out, because it's time for the

MUSIC SECTION

One of the areas you'll be making an excursion into for deliveries is the quaint and quiet Snowdin Town. The town is even smaller than the one you know in Undertale, so the new remix is even simpler sounding to match. A homely snow-filled paradise where everyone knows each other and is merry... It's quite appropriate, don't you think? It really fits the vibe of the season.

It's cold out there alone... The wind cuts into you and won't let you forget how small you are, won't let you forget the pain of the path you chose for yourself. You had a choice between comfort and the cold, and now your only company is the chill of the flurry.

UPDATED TRACKS!

An updated version of the intro theme courtesy of Venn November (or is December?) It's not an immediately noticeable difference, but once you listen to the old version and the new version back to back, it's clear to see. Close your eyes and imagine the epic intro that could be attached to this song...

Ok, now open them again, we've got one more updated track to show off:

At last, Customer Approaching is finally out of the draft stage and is complete! I hope you enjoy this theme, cause as you work your daily shifts at The Eclipse, you'll become very familiar with this song. Hey, would you rather listen to this on loop for a couple of minutes or the same Christmas playlist on loop for weeks? You gotta give our real retail workers their flowers!

Ok, that's enough music talk for now, it's time to actually talk about the progress on the game!

GAME PROGRESS

As I said before, progress was stunted somewhat during the past few months, but that doesn't mean we haven't done anything. In fact... It is with great pride and joy that I announce that the cooking system is almost complete! Yes, the bones of the cooking system have been all mostly put in place and stress-tested. You can almost complete a full day of work at The Eclipse. We've implemented the timer, customer waves, the functional COOK button, and a handful of minigames. We're currently hard at work implementing the final piece of the foundation of our unique gameplay: Recipes and Reputation/Prestige! To talk more in depth about this, please welcome our resident back-end coding and implementation expert: Moist!

"The primary 'battle' system is underpinned by a custom-built module that tracks Sunny's progress as they prepare a meal for a customer of The Eclipse, keeps a repository of all the recipes sunny is capable of making stored nice and safe their head, and calculates how well they've done afterward. In the final release, You may be able to cook more complex recipes in later days. As it stands, early recipes will be less complex, but the handler seems fairly stable in its current state!"

— moist

There you have it, in the coming weeks we'll finish implementing this final piece, and at that point the cooking system will be complete! From there, it's just a matter of creating the encounters and waves, stress-testing and polishing, and voilá! We'll be able to show off entirely finalized days of cooking, and from there we'll be all set up to start proper work on the demo.

But what about beyond cooking? What's progress looking like on the overworld, cutscenes and etc.?

Well, we've got a lot of the maps from the demo, well, not done, but set up for integration as we move our focus into cutscene and scene creation. In fact, ignoring some unfinished cutscenes, the map for the game's intro area is complete! Hopefully with some elbow grease from me and the rest of the team in the coming months, those cutscenes will be completed, and the demo maps we're still missing will be set up.

In short, while we were slowed down for the past few months, it seems as if these next few months are going to be very productive for us. Everything seems to be coming up Sunny!

One final thing before we sign off... I'm sure everybody's clamouring for some sort of release date for the demo, but despite all the work we've done, we can't promise an exact date. All we know is that we're hoping to be able to release the first demo in late 2025, but we can't confidently assure you that that will happen. As always, though, if you think you can help that happen, do send me a DM on Discord (shadowofroserade) with an application to join the team.

However, we would still like to announce a planned release date for something else. If all goes according to plan the reveal trailer for Undertale Cooking with Kindness should come out in January*, so stay seated everybody! We've got an appetizer to die for coming up!

*while that is the current plan, it is quite possible that it will be delayed into February depending on future circumstances.

Until then...

Kind Regards,

The Eclipse.

[mathitas]

What would they give their S/O for Christmas?

HOO seven plus Nico and Will x Gn! Reader

Percy

He'd gift you a gift box. Food, things you like... oh, and of course the food is blue. He loves you very much, so since the start he knew he wanted to give you everything you could have wanted, and that's what he did.

Annabeth

She's smart, and she knows what you like. She'd give you something practical, and that'd help you daily, most likely related to your interests. Or something like a cute mug, like this one.

Jason

He's the kind of man to give you a book advent calendar or a really pretty necklace or bracelet. Depends on what you like; he'd usually know. He would most likely go for something pretty but simple.

Leo

Leo may even know you for years or not. Doesn't matter. He's freaking out. He doesn't know what to give you because he has so many ideas, and he's afraid you won't end up liking any of them. He ends up forging you something, maybe for combat or anything cute for you to wear, like a ring.

Frank

If Leo's anxious, he's even more anxious. He's scared that you won't like his gift enough, and if he ends up giving so much thought into it, he may end up giving you something weird. However, in the end, he decides to go for a piece of clothing. Gloves, a scarf, a beanie, or a sweater.

Piper

She's probably one of the best gift-givers in the world. Her gifts would never leave you disappointed, that's for sure. I know that she loves making clay things like these. These would be her gifts for you. She'd also definitely say "it's us" or something.

Hazel

Hazel would also be nervous about giving you a Christmas gift. But I can 100% see her giving you a handmade scarf. She put weeks of work into it, and she's so worried you may not like it, and she's so happy if you actually end up wearing it.

Nico

Two truths and a lie: he hates gifting time; he knows what to give you; he's a child of Hades. Guess the lie. He'd end up giving you something pretty, or something he already owns and finds special. You're even more special to him, so he wants you to have it. It's a part of him; please accept it!

Will

He's a child of Apollo; of course he's creative. Of course he'll give you a cute but simple gift. Of course there's a lot of thought behind it. Of course he made it and wrote it himself.

[not-poignant]

I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this, but do you think Arden is abusive to Efnisien in FFS? It seems like Efnisien does not like pain yet Arden inflicts pain on him anyway and enjoys it. Can you help me understand?

Hi anon,

Arden is absolutely not abusive to Efnisien. He's probably one of the least abusive characters out there. He is a sadist though.

So, I'm going to be talking about this from the perspective of consent systems, as well as kink, and kinkshaming (which is what you're doing here).

The first thing is no, I can't help you understand if you don't after 770k words of Efnisien clearly consenting to what Arden does to him, feeling free to withdraw consent, being encouraged to withdraw consent, and having Arden constantly check in with him.

The second thing is, it's not your job to understand. That's not what kink is about!! It's your job to accept that someone else wants it and consents to it. This is true in real life as well!

In the world of kink, you are going to come across things that don't make sense to you, where the idea of going through what the other person is going through makes you feel revolted, disgusted, uneasy, or even scared. But you're not the one going through it! You're not the one being asked to consent to it! And therefore, your perspective on it truly does not matter when it's about two other people who have talked about it, negotiated it, consented to it, are consenting to it in an ongoing, informed, engaged manner, and are very clearly happy with what's happening - if not during - then definitely before and after, and aren't asking for anything to change.

These are the basic building blocks of respect in kink society, and it sounds like you don't have them. Which - fair, if you're not in that society, but if you don't want to be someone who kink-shames, it's very important to replace 'I don't understand it therefore it's abusive' (???) with 'I don't need to understand it because they are clearly consenting to it, and where there is consent, communication, and ongoing negotiation, it's none of my business. To assume that what they're doing is wrong or abusive simply because I don't like it is now under the umbrella of kink-shaming, which means I'm the problem here.'

There are many many things in kink that you won't ever understand. I really don't think I can persuade you in one anon response and I don't want to when I wrote nearly a million words about it, y'know?

But I do advise you to make sure that you know that just because you don't like something, doesn't mean this has any impact on what's happening in another person's relationship when there's ongoing, engaged consent. You don't need to understand it, and it's not anyone else's job to make you understand. There's some stuff in kink that I will never want to be around, and I genuinely struggle to see what people get out of it, but - good news - it's not my job to understand! I don't ever have to go through it, and those folks are consenting and living their best lives.

If they're ever not, that won't be about the kink, it will be about ignoring withdrawn consent, or removing someone's consent, or violating their consent.

But other people's kinks aren't about you, they aren't for you, and they don't require your understanding of them, they don't need you to wrap your head around it, in order to not be abusive.

If you can't understand the foundations of consent, negotiation and the overall health and happiness of people in a relationship, I've got nothing anon.

[winchestergirl2]

First, I just want to say I hope you and the family are feeling better. Covid is no fun (legit wiped me out a few months ago), so hope you are all doing ok now!

“I can’t do this. We can’t do this…”

Oh no, Beau, don't do this. Don't push her away. Let her make up her own mind of who she wants to be with!

Oh, she doesn't want to go see Randy!

The thing was, though, you didn’t want to even try.

Sounds like Beau really came to the wrong conclusion in all his overthinking.

Running into Carla again before coffee, she seems to be making a bit of a habit of that. At least it was a relatively friendly meeting.

That conversation with Emily...

“Don’t leave Dad,” she told you, her brown eyes pleading. She was giving you the full puppy dog look, and all you could think about was how much she resembled her father like this. “He’s finally happy and like the dad I used to know again.

That tugs on the heart strings.

Donno...

"Is he a zombie?"

“If he is, you need to smash his brain. Only way to kill ‘em,” Donno informed you helpfully.

“You’re welcome. I’m good at smashing brains. Just call if you need my help.” Donno gave you an oddly crooked smile. “Aren’t you dating the sheriff? Is that true?”

"Want to hear my vote?"

“Sheriff Arlen once throat-punched me. He’s very strong. Good build. Like a warrior,” Donno noted. “He could probably kill a zombie. I’d pick him.”

“Again, you’re welcome.”

😂😂 Donno. I read this hearing him saying that! So, in character, I love how you captured him!

Uh-oh Randy knows!

"That crazy psycho lady told me,"

Of course she did!!

Well, that discussion between Beau and Randy went about as well as expected.

Randy's really pushing hard for an answer, isn't he?! At least this time, Beau could she how much she was struggling with the situation.

I'm not surprised she said she picked neither of them after how Beau acted this morning, and Randy acted just then.

Beau only shook his head in response and scoffed, leaving the room in search of you.

It mattered how you felt.

Yes Beau go find your girl!

Polaris – Chapter 10

Series Summary: When Beau Arlen moved to Montana, he left behind a past he wasn’t proud of. But when a series of murders requires the FBI’s help, Sheriff Arlen‘s ghosts come back to haunt him one by one. With a wrong turn waiting at every crossroads, it’s hard to make the right choices and find his way back home – back to you.

Pairing: Beau Arlen x FBI Agent!Reader

Warnings: 18+, angst, heartbreak, everyone being all over the place, one very tough conversation...

Word Count: 6.0k

A/N: Ooof, what a week! The whole fam came down with Covid and I was barely holding the fort down 😮‍💨 But in the midst of all the stress and chaos, all your kind comments brought me so much joy! I really appreciate you guys 🥹🤍

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist || Tag List

Chapter 10: It Matters

Pick me. Don’t go.

Those words had pervaded Beau’s mind and tormented his heart all night. It had been a mistake to utter them. He should’ve never said them in the first place. They forced you into a corner, and he had never wanted to do that to you. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol in his bloodstream or the sheer love in his heart that drove him to say them, but he hated himself for his blatant selfishness.

How could he do that? What else were you supposed to say to him? Of course, you’d stay, even when Beau knew it was wrong.

You were still peacefully asleep next to him, unaware of the train wreck of thoughts that circled his mind in an endless loop. The smell of you lingered in the air and pulled him closer to you. Every fiber of his being wanted to make you his again, love you the way his muddled head had convinced him only he could. But he abstained, and it was the hardest thing he ever had to do. Leaving you always was.

“Hey, morning.” You stretched with a soft smile and glanced behind you at Beau. He lay awake next to you, forest green eyes opened wide and staring at the ceiling. Internally, you sighed at his brooding. You rolled onto your stomach and began kissing a path from his throat down to his chest, your fingers trailing his taut skin.

“Y/N, stop. Please, darlin’…”

With a deep sigh, you crossed your arms on top of his chest and rested your chin on them, looking up at him. His fingers brushed tenderly through your hair, but he still didn’t look at you.

“Talk to me. What’s going on in that pretty and rumbling head of yours?” you prompted softly and pecked his chest, just above his wildly beating heart.

“I can’t do this. We can’t do this…”

You lifted your head and found his eyes, forcing him to look at you. “You want me to go?”

His features hardened as he fought for an answer. After a moment, he shook his head. “No.”

But his actions contradicted his words. He rose from the bed and dragged a palm over his face and through his hair. His feet found solid ground, but his body remained anchored to the bed as if he was torn between leaving and staying with you.

“I shouldn’t have said those things last night. It wasn’t fair to you…” His head fell into his hands. “I don’t wanna force you to make a decision. I’m the wrong choice.”

You straightened behind him and stroked his back. “You’re not the wrong choice,” you insisted. “And if you don’t wanna make a decision for me, then maybe you shouldn’t push me away either.”

“I had no right to say those things to you, Y/N. I was drunk and emotional… I shoulda never let things get this far last night. I was being selfish,” he stated, and you could feel him pull away from you, like he’d done so many times before. It was an all too familiar pattern. “But I have my head on straight now,” he declared, the irony lost on him, but the determined and harsh tone of his voice shattered your heart. No one did it better than him. He made breaking your heart an art.

“Beau…”

“No!” he silenced you sharply. Your hand dropped from his shoulder. His face softened as he looked back at you. “You should be with him, Y/N. You’re just confused right now. I know once you’ve had some time to think about it, you’re gonna regret it, so I’m backing down, okay? Just take me outta the equation.”

Anger flared up inside of you and surged through your body. “Don’t ever fucking tell me how I feel,” you snapped. “You wanna be a coward again? Fine, consider yourself out. I’m leaving.”

March 2021

Beau’s head was a thundering earthquake as he left his motel room. The desert sun was stinging and blistering hot as he walked no more than two blocks down the street to the little plaza of food trucks. And plaza was a nice word for it, really. It was just a rundown parking lot, but the food was delicious nonetheless. God knows, with his punishing hangover, he craved something greasy and unhealthy.

Unfortunately, the fourteen tequilas had ironically not been enough to cause a total blackout – or maybe his body had just ejected them too soon. Either way, he remembered every embarrassing and shameful bit and piece of last night’s events. How he had pathetically sulked, how he had puked his goddam guts out in front of you, how you had still taken care of him and stood by his side, how he had audaciously hit on you – multiple times – and how you had angrily shot him down.

All of these glorious moments were saved on his hard drive, able to torment him for eternity.

It was already late morning, close to noon, but the whole team was gathered on a picnic table. Some were enjoying breakfast after a nightly stake-out, some were taking their lunch break or enjoying their day off. You sat between Cody and Jordan with an extraordinarily big cup of joe, both guys seemingly bringing their A-game in the flirting department. Beau rolled his eyes underneath his dark sunglasses and took a seat across from you. Judging by the sheer size of your coffee, he assumed you didn’t have the best night’s sleep either.

“Hey, mornin’,” Beau greeted the group with a tired nod. He noticed you shift in your seat and avoided looking at him like it was a challenge. It was safe to assume you were mad at him.

“Hey, Arlen.” Amused, Cody grinned at him with all his teeth. “Back so soon? Thought you were supposed to be gone the whole week. What, wife kick you out? You look like shit.”

One clumsy joke already hit bullseye, going straight to his sore point.

Beau only chuckled politely. “Nah, Carla just had a work thing, so…” he lied. He wasn’t ready to get into his whole divorce drama with all of the guys just now – not on so little sleep and such a major hangover. “Guess I chatted a little too much with Don Julio last night.”

The guys laughed and started to remember their own recent drinking escapades. But not you. You let out a small scoff and shook your head, jumping up from your seat.

“I’m gonna get a refill. You guys need anything?” They guys shook their heads at your question, and you sauntered back over to the coffee truck.

“I’m gonna grab somethin’ to eat, too. Excuse me.” Beau cleared his throat and got up as well, the group continuing to chat, unbothered.

He walked straight up to you, and if he had thought earlier he had only imagined your anger, he was damn sure now. You didn’t even try to hide it. Carla was the passive-aggressive type, but he remembered Randy had once referred to you as “sharp and direct like a knife,” which was definitely the case here. As soon as Beau approached you, you exhaled an exasperated sigh and rolled your eyes back.

“Look, can we talk?”

“I think you’ve done enough of that last night, gaucho,” you retorted, annoyed.

Beau pursed his lips. Alright, second try. “I get that you’re mad. You have every right to be. I just wanna apologize for the way I behaved.”

“Oh, I’m fine. I’m not mad,” you remarked wryly, shaking your head. You then belligerently met his gaze. “Refresh my memory, though. What exactly did you do again?”

Beau let out a deep exhale, frowning slightly. “You really gonna make me spell it out?”

“Yup.” Coolly, you took a sip of your coffee.

Beau sighed once more, scratching the back of his neck. “I’m sorry I was an ass last night.”

“And?”

“And… I’m sorry I hit on you,” he admitted ruefully.

You grinned victoriously but not any less furious. “There it is.” Grabbing your giant cup, you waltzed back over to the table, Beau quickly catching up with you before you had reached your destination and were within earshot again.

“Y/N, c’mon! I thought you’d forgive me once I said it,” he argued.

You snorted a scoff. “I never said that. ‘Sides, that apology was kinda half-assed.”

“Alright, what d’you want me to say, huh?” he prompted with an impatient huff.

“Hmm, I would’ve preferred, ‘I’m sorry I tried to use you as my rebound and fuck you last night after my wife left me, even though you’re the only friend I have,’” you fired sassily, watching his frown deepen. “How does that sound? Sound about right to you?”

“I did not try and use you as my rebound,” he shot back.

Your brow arched. “No? What was that then last night?”

“That was…” Beau couldn’t think of an answer, because he didn’t quite know himself what kind of devil had possessed him that night. But he did know even his drunken alter ego wouldn’t use you as a sheer rebound. However, he couldn’t very well say that now, could he? “I-I don’t know. Maybe you’re right.”

“Yeah, thought so…” With a disappointed scoff, you pushed past him and walked back to the group.

Since bolting out of Beau’s trailer in nothing more than an old tee and some mere sweatpants, with a pile full of random laundry in your hands, you hadn’t even inhaled your caffeine intake this morning yet. And God, you needed it, especially after getting dressed with miss-matched clothes in the backseat of your car in the parking lot of a Walmart. You knew this wasn’t rock bottom, but you were eerily sailing close to it.

You could’ve driven straight to the hospital and gotten your coffee there, but a part of you wanted to avoid Randy for as long as you could. That same part also felt incredibly guilty and like the worst person in the world for even thinking that.

Was it crazy you didn’t want to see Randy? You had missed, cried, and grieved this man for years, praying he’d come back to you. Now he had, your prayers answered, and all you could do was hide.

But no matter how hard you tried to force yourself to feel the same way, it wasn’t right anymore. The flutter in your heart was gone. The urge to touch and kiss him had disappeared. Holding his hand felt weird. Your conversations didn’t flow like they used to. He was once your best friend, but now he felt like a stranger.

Or maybe you were the strange one.

And maybe Beau was right, and all you needed was more time to get used to everything again. Start from scratch. Go on first dates and get to know one another again until strange would become familiar. Maybe you even owed it to Randy to try and give it a shot.

The thing was, though, you didn’t want to even try. Twenty-four hours ago, you’d been happy with your life exactly the way it was – as terrible as that made you sound.

But didn’t it matter how you felt?

Your search for coffee, distraction, and escapism led you to the Blue Fox Diner once again. And as it was a habit with small towns, you immediately ran into some familiar faces. This time, you met Carla and Emily there. The former was in a much better mood, even gifting you a smile.

“Morning, ladies. Seems like the need for coffee keeps us united, huh?” you quipped, but only Emily giggled a little.

Carla’s brow furrowed slightly, on the other hand. This time out of concern instead of anger. “Hey, uh… How-, uhm, how are you holding up?”

Realization instantly dawned on you – escapism was nothing but a sham. “Beau told you?”

“Yeah, but he just sent a quick text, saying Randy was alive and at the hospital. I guess I should be happy his communication skills are getting slightly better,” Carla joked wryly, earning her a small glare from her daughter. “But, uhm, I’ve tried calling him multiple times since then. He isn’t answering. Is everything alright? How’s he doing?”

“Uh, yeah, everything’s… well, not fine, but Beau’s… I honestly don’t know. He’s hanging in there? I-… He’s just taking it hard, I guess,” you replied in a stammer. You didn’t know what else to say. The whole thing was as messy as your answer.

“Yeah, okay.” Carla nodded, sighing. “I can’t believe Randy’s back and actually alive… I’m glad Beau has you, though. Watch out for him? And yourself?”

“Sure, yeah.” You swallowed harshly and forced a polite smile to your lips. How could you look out for him, though, if he kept pushing you away? If anyone knew what that was like, it was ironically Carla. “Hey, uh, can I ask you a legal question?”

“Sure. It’s about Randy, isn’t it?” Carla gave you a knowing smile. She’d always been the best lawyer you’d ever known for reasons exactly like this one. She could anticipate someone’s intentions from miles away.

“Yes, uhm… if your spouse comes back from the dead, are you still married?” Judging by Carla’s amused smile, she had somehow expected a weird question like that as well.

“Yeah, are you?” Emily repeated your question with a curiously inquiring look at her mother and a scrunched nose.

Carla chuckled a little. “No, once someone is declared dead, may that be true or not, a marriage cannot be reinstated,” she explained and then paused for a moment, pursing her lips. “However, you can always contest it in front of a judge. In rare circumstances like this, I’m sure there can be something done about it… if that’s what you want. Is it… what you want?”

Your mouth opened but couldn’t produce an answer. Was it what you wanted?

“Right. None of my business,” Carla said and raised her hands in surrender before she placed one gently on your shoulder. “Call if you need something. Anytime, okay?”

You nodded with an appreciative smile. “Thanks.”

“Come on, Em. Let’s go.” Carla gestured for her daughter to follow her outside, but the teenager stayed next to you.

“Can I talk to Aunt Y/N for a minute alone?”

Carla shot you a look, asking if it was okay. You gave a nod in return, telling her it was fine.

“Alright, but be quick. I don’t want you to be late for school,” Carla reminded her and strolled ahead to the car.

“What’s up, trailblazer?” You grinned at Emily and tried to keep it light, although you could tell by the look on her face that she was planning on the opposite.

“Don’t leave Dad,” she told you, her brown eyes pleading. She was giving you the full puppy dog look, and all you could think about was how much she resembled her father like this. “He’s finally happy and like the dad I used to know again. He was better when we moved here, but I could tell that he was missing you. And those last few weeks, he was smiling all the time and not just ‘cause of a bad joke he was proud of. Like, legit smiling. For real. It was kinda creepy. But he was happy. Really, really, really happy. Please don’t take that away from him.”

“Em…” You exhaled a deep sigh. What were you supposed to say to that? You were flattered she thought you had so much to do with her father’s wellbeing? “I-… I don’t wanna hurt your dad ‘cause I do love him. But there’s also Uncle Randy to think about. He’s your dad’s best friend, you know? Neither of us want to hurt him. And your dad’s–…” An ass sometimes. “–difficult. It’s complicated, okay? There’s a lot to think about.”

Emily nodded thoughtfully, but she seemed to understand. “I get it. I just don’t want him to be sad again and lose himself like he did back then.”

You squeezed her shoulder and looked at her deeply. “I promise you it’s never gonna be like last time again. Your dad knows that now, too.”

“I hope so…”

As Emily left the diner, you finally got back to your coffee. Apparently, it was an Arlen family trait to confront you with some heavy-hitters before your first drop of caffeine.

“Heard your husband is back from the dead. Is that true?”

A voice drew your attention to a man behind the counter with chin-length hair and a beard. “Donno, right?” The man nodded, and you replied, “Yeah, he is.”

“Is he a zombie?”

You pursed your lips and took a sip from your cup, wishing it contained whiskey at this point. “I don’t think so, no.”

“If he is, you need to smash his brain. Only way to kill ‘em,” Donno informed you helpfully.

“Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind,” you replied warily. If Beau hadn’t already filled you in on all things Donno, you would’ve thought the guy was insane. Well, maybe he still was.

“You’re welcome. I’m good at smashing brains. Just call if you need my help.” Donno gave you an oddly crooked smile. “Aren’t you dating the sheriff? Is that true?”

“Also true.”

Fucking small towns…

“Want to hear my vote?”

You exhaled a small sigh and sent him a tight-lipped smile. “Sure. Why not?” Might as well, right? Maybe you should make use of the gossipy small town charm altogether and start a Helena-wide poll.

“Sheriff Arlen once throat-punched me. He’s very strong. Good build. Like a warrior,” Donno noted. “He could probably kill a zombie. I’d pick him.”

“Well… I’ll take that into consideration. Thank you.”

“Again, you’re welcome.”

March 2021

Still hungover, Beau almost dozed off during the daily briefing in the meeting room of the task force’s headquarters in Mexico – all DEA owned. You sat next to him in your usual seat of the glass box but hadn’t spoken a word to him since this morning at the coffee cart, mindlessly drawing doodles on the edge of your notepad. Obviously, you were still fuming, and Beau didn’t know whether he should try to suffocate the flames or if the fire would eventually burn out on its own.

“Alright, next on the agenda,” Cody said and clapped his palms together as he stood in front of the whiteboard. He was a longtime DEA agent and their task force leader, couple years younger than Beau and probably what most would classify as Hemsworth good-looking. “We need to get everything ready before sending Y/N in with our contact in the cartel. She’s been preparing for the last few months, and if everything goes according to plan, which I hope it will, we can start the mission by the end of next week. Jordan’s also going in with her.”

Beau’s brow furrowed in confusion, his head whipping back and forth between you and their leader. “Whoa, send her in where?”

“Oh, uh, sorry. Forgot you’ve missed last week’s meeting, Arlen,” Cody said with a subtle jab. The others frowned upon him leaving sometimes, none of them having families back in Texas – or at least none that they cared about. “Y/N agreed to go in as a buyer, gather intel.”

Beau’s eyes widened and looked at you, but you still stubbornly averted your gaze. “I’m sorry, what?! Why her? Can’t someone else go in?”

That was the first time you looked at him then. Well, glared.

Cody scoffed disapprovingly. “We need a woman for this one, and if you haven’t noticed, she’s the only one, unless you suddenly grew a vagina, Arlen.”

“He definitely hasn’t,” you muttered in sing-song under your breath, referring to last night’s events. But Beau still heard you, sending you a narrowed glare.

“Our cartel target only makes deals with female buyers. Word on the street is, he likes to get a little… handsy sometimes,” Cody continued.

“Well, that’s comforting to know,” Beau huffed, green eyes then landing on you. “Why did you never tell me you were planning on going undercover?”

There was a moment of awkward silence spreading around the table, everyone’s curious eyes landing on you and Beau. You didn’t respond, however. You clearly had your reasons why you’d left that part out, considering the scene he was making right now.

Cody’s eyes squinted at your partner, his brow scrunching. “You got a problem with that, Arlen? ‘Cause you startin’ to piss me off,” he snapped. For the record, that was the exact moment Cody landed on Beau’s punch list. “Maybe you should have a little more faith in your colleagues, dipshit. Y/N’s got the most experience as a UC in narcotics out of all of us. There’s no doubt in my mind she can pull this off.”

The wink Cody sent you and the smile you gave in return almost set Beau off like an atom bomb, but he contained the explosion and only imploded. He gave a tight-lipped nod in understanding and averted his eyes to the yellow legal pad in front of him, strangling the pen in his grasp instead.

As the meeting ended and everyone filtered out of the glass box, Cody called him back, though. “Arlen, a word.”

You glanced at Beau, your eyes briefly meeting before you left the room as well and strolled back to your desk. You knew he was in for a lecture, having overstepped a line earlier, which wasn’t uncommon for him. But you couldn’t always come to his rescue and offer your own head on a silver platter in return.

“Yeah?” Beau wasn’t even a smidge apologetic in his demeanor. In fact, he was pretty much the opposite and stood his ground with his chin held high as he faced off with Cody.

“I don’t appreciate your little protests during our meetings,” Cody bit. “Look, I don’t care who you fuck in your free time, but keep your personal bullshit to yourself. It’s got no place on this team. You understand?”

Beau let out a humorless chuckle, hands balling into fists by his side. “I’m not sleeping with her.”

“Who the fuck are you tryin’ to fool, huh? Everyone knows you’re hanging out in her room every night. It’s a small motel,” Cody provoked with a mocking smirk.

“I’m her friend. I’m looking out for her,” Beau snarled through gritted teeth.

“Oh, unlike me? Are you insinuating I put my agents in danger? ‘Cause then we have an entirely different problem,” Cody barked, the muscles in his neck and arms tensing. “Maybe it’s best I partner up with her for a couple of weeks till you’ve cooled off enough, Arlen.”

Beau scoffed, laughing darkly. It was the last straw before he decided to throw his inhibitions out the window. “Oh, I’m sure you’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

Cody took a step closer and huffed, their faces only mere inches apart from one another. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I think you know.”

One corner of Cody’s lip twitched in amusement. “Let’s make one thing clear here. The only reason you’re down here is ‘cause Y/N vouched for you. If it were solely up to me, I would’ve never let your sorry, drunk ass come down here in the first place. My patience with you is slowly running out. One more strike and I’m sending you back home to the wifey, and you can kiss your side piece goodbye. Got it?” he threatened as the two men glowered at each other. “Now, get the fuck out of my office. You’re off duty for the next few days till you’ve got your head screwed back on straight.”

Clenching his jaw, Beau spun towards the door and furiously kicked a trash can on his way out.

Peeking his head inside Randy’s hospital room, Beau found you sitting by your husband’s bedside. He figured you had spent your day here and had given you till the late afternoon to catch up before he decided to check in on his old partner, too.

The two of you were chatting with smiles on your faces, although yours looked a bit sadder and more subdued than Randy’s. As both of you noticed Beau, the conversation halted. Randy sent him a smile, while your brow creased into the familiar angry pattern. If looks could kill, you were surely aiming your daggers at his heart.

“Hey.” Beau smiled hesitantly at you two and remained close to the door in case he needed to flee quickly. It was always good to have an exit strategy in mind.

“Hey, man.” Randy gave him a nod, his mood a little more dampened than the night before. “They’re letting me out today. No major injuries or head traumas, just a couple of bruises. I can go home later this evening.”

“That’s great. Glad you’re okay.” Beau forced a smile, guilt settling in his stomach that he couldn’t be happier for Randy. His best friend was alive and well. It should’ve been cause for celebration, and yet, he wanted to get stupidly drunk for a different reason.

Randy then looked at you, his brow slightly creasing. “Uh, babe, where’s home, by the way? Did you move to Montana, too?”

You giggled lightly. “Uh, no, I have an apartment in Texas.”

His brow furrowed a little more. “Apartment?”

“Oh, uh, yeah, I kinda sold the house,” you told him. “It’s just… after you were, uhm… gone, I couldn’t really stay there anymore. I’m sorry. But, uhm, you can stay at my place.”

For a little while, you thought but refrained from saying that part. What were you supposed to do? Kick him out after you sold his home? Instead, you made a mental note to ask Carla about the proceeds of the house as well. You still had enough left in your saving’s account that easily covered his share. And suddenly, it dawned on you that this began to feel like a divorce.

“Oh.” Randy was quiet for a moment before he sent you a small smile and squeezed your hand. “It’s alright. We can start over, okay?”

Randy was sweet and had tried to take everything you’ve told him so far in stride, but you could tell he began struggling a bit with all the changes. When you came by this morning, he seemed less relaxed and more anxious than the night before.

“I guess, yeah.” You compelled a smile onto your face. You hated lying to him. You hated to pretend the two of you were just going to sail off into the sunset together. But you didn’t want to crush his heart. He’d always been good to you, making you wonder what was wrong with you for not wanting him back. But one look at the green-eyed sheriff by the door answered that question for you. “I-, uhm, I’ll check with the nurse about your discharge and get a coffee refill. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

“Yeah, sure, sweetheart.” Randy gave you a nod and watched you leave, brushing past Beau on your way out.

Beau shared a brief look with you, checking if you were okay, and then rested his palms on the rail of the bed’s footboard. He tried to seem as natural as possible in a situation like this. “So, how are ya holdin’ up?”

“Uh, good, I guess,” Randy replied with a little sigh, his hazel eyes still transfixed on the door where you had walked through.

“Now, that doesn’t sound like the Randy I know,” Beau noted half-jokingly, although he knew what was on his friend’s mind. The same thing that was on his – you.

“Yeah, guess we’re all a little different now, huh?” Randy mumbled pensively. “She seems… distant.”

“Uhm, just give her time, okay? Was a lot on her, too,” Beau said, but he wasn’t sure time was the answer. He could see you struggling as soon as he had strolled into the room, trying your hardest to uphold a crumbling façade.

He started to slowly regret this morning’s decision. One day without you already felt like hell. How was he supposed to survive the rest of his life?

“You two have gotten close, huh?”

Randy’s question was a lightning bolt to Beau’s chest, jolting him awake. He swallowed subtly, thinking about his answer. “Uh, yeah, a little… We’ve spent some time together when we worked on that task force in Mexico.”

“Well, I’m glad she had you. Thanks for taking care of her,” Randy said, smiling, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Adding ‘You would’ve done the same thing’ didn’t seem right in this instance, however.

“You-, uh, you know if she’s seeing anyone?”

The question whipped the air from Beau’s lungs and stole the ground beneath his boots. If Randy was aiming to give him a coronary this afternoon, he was succeeding. “I-, uhm, I’m not sure. Not that I know of, but I don’t think it’s anything you need to worry about.”

That was a good answer, right? And it was sort of the truth. Even if it was killing everything inside of him, he’d stick to the words he’d said to you this morning – he was bowing out of the race. In fact, he considered himself never even been in the race in the first place. Randy didn't have competition. End of discussion.

But Randy didn’t seem to think so, apparently. He scoffed a humorless chuckle and licked his lips. “You two are good liars. I’ll give you that.”

Beau’s green eyes widened. He could guess where this was going, but he knew for certain you hadn’t told Randy. That whole thing screamed psychotic witch, and he only knew one person who fit that ammo – currently locked up in a holding cell at the station.

“Randy, I don’t know what you think, but–”

Randy’s laugh of disbelief interrupted his sorry excuse of a deflection, however. “You really wanna tell me there’s nothing going on between you two? Really? That’s how you wanna play this? I think you owe me a little more than that.”

Beau nodded and rubbed his mouth with his palm. “Yeah, you’re right. I do owe you more than that.”

“So, it’s true?”

Beau swallowed down the thick lump in his throat and met his former partner’s eyes. “Yes. How did you find out?”

“That crazy psycho lady told me,” Randy said and confirmed Beau’s theory, the tears brimming in his brown eyes as he spoke. “I didn’t wanna believe it at first, because, well, it’s you and… her. So then, she showed me a video. Was pretty convincing... But me being a fucking idiot, I still didn't quite buy it, you know? Well, till I saw you two yesterday. Couldn't have been more obvious...”

Beau squeezed his eyes shut for a moment as the words sank in, but then his brow furrowed, something heavy falling into his gut. “What-, uh, what video?”

“I guess if I had to describe it, I’d say it showed you fucking my wife on a desk,” Randy said bluntly and almost hysterically laughed at the outlandishness of it all. “I’d check my office for cameras if I were you, by the way.”

Beau was shocked into silence, muscles frozen in place. He would’ve told Randy eventually, when things had settled enough and the two of you had decided together it was time. But he should’ve known Diane wouldn’t go down quietly and just float to prison. She took pleasure out of torture.

“Speechless, wow.” Randy whistled in mock. He was seething, clearly having held onto his anger for a while now. “How long till you moved in on her, huh? Was my empty casket even in the ground yet?”

“Look, it wasn’t like that,” Beau defended the unwarranted accusation, feeling his own anger start to simmer as well. Even if Randy was angry, he should know better than that. Their friendship had meant something once, and Beau would’ve never betrayed it like that if Randy had been alive and still around.

“So, in your office, that was a one time slip-up?” Randy lifted a brow, and for a moment, Beau could see a sliver of hope in his brown eyes. If it had just been a one-time thing in the heat of the moment, something that could be forgotten and discarded once it turned cold, he would’ve been able to forgive both of you.

But Beau couldn’t lie to him any longer. “No,” he stated earnestly. “We’ve been datin’ on and off for about two years now. First time ‘round, we’ve been together for a little over twelve months before we broke things off. We didn’t see each other for almost a year when I moved here, but we’ve, uhm, recently rekindled things, as people might say. But we waited more than a year after your funeral. There was nothin’ rushed about it, alright?”

Randy scoffed bitterly. “Wow, a whole year, huh? Glad I have a friend like you.”

“Randy–” Beau sighed deeply and ran a palm over his face.

“What, huh? You’re gonna tell me you’re fucking sorry?”

Thoughtfully, Beau pursed his lips for a heartbeat but then shook his head. “No,” he stated firmly, Randy’s brow raising in surprise. “Look, I am sorry that I hurt you, but I’m not sorry for what happened between me and Y/N. I love her.”

Randy's gaze drifted out the window as he ground his jaw. It was tensely silent for a moment. “Does she love you?”

Hesitantly and unsurely, Beau still nodded. “I think so, yeah.” At his response, Randy scoffed in incredulity. “But look, like I said, you got nothin’ to worry about. I already told Y/N I’m out. I’m backing down, alright? She’s all yours, man.”

“She’s always been mine,” Randy gritted. “And thanks for your fucking charity. What a hero! But I don’t need it, you got it? I want her to make the decision. I don’t want her to fucking pick me by default ‘cause y’all feel sorry for me.”

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea, Randy,” Beau warned cautiously.

“What, why? You actually think she’s gonna pick you over me?” Randy snorted a mocking chuckle. “I’m her husband. You’re the fucking rebound. You’re the guy that just happened to be there when she was fucking sad and then took advantage of her.”

“I’m cuttin’ you a lot of slack here, but you better take that back,” Beau snarled with flaring nostrils.

“Or what? You gonna punch me? Leave me to die again? Fuck my wife?” Randy challenged. “News flash – you’ve already done your worst… It’s true, though. You’re the fucking second choice. She’s never gonna pick you!”

“She already did!” Beau yelled explosively and bit his tongue immediately after, watching Randy’s face fall.

“What’s going on here?”

The men’s eyes fell on you as you appeared in the room and blinked at them in confusion. You had overheard parts of their conversation since both of them shouted so loudly it echoed all the way back to the nurses’ station.

“He knows,” Beau informed you quietly and shared a sideways look with you. “Diane told him.”

“Uh…” You stumped, your mouth falling open. Another part of you, though, scolded you for not anticipating this. This had been Diane’s real ace, hadn’t it? Bringing Randy back from the dead was just a small part of it.

“You need to make a choice, Y/N,” Randy demanded, his features stern. In all the years you'd known him and been married to him, you'd never seen him this upset.

“Randy, just leave her alone. Now’s not the time,” Beau argued firmly.

“Yes, now’s the time,” Randy insisted, his brow knitting into even more furious creases. “What are you now, her white knight?”

“Would you shut the fuck up already?”

“Would you shut the fuck up? I’m tryna talk to my wife here!”

“You’re not her fucking husband anymore!”

“Well, you’re not her fucking boyfriend!” Randy yelled snappily and then looked at you again. “Who’s it gonna be, huh? Me or him?”

“For fuck’s sake, Randy! Stop pressuring her and give her a fucking moment!”

“Oh, I forgot! You know her so well now!”

“A blind person can see she’s struggling, you self-centered ass!”

“I’m self-centered? What about you, you–”

“No one! I pick no one!” you shouted between their bickering, the two men finally falling silent. You looked at Randy with tears stinging your eyes. You could barely see the heartbreak and anger on his face through your blurred vision. “Are you fucking happy now?” Disappointedly, you gave a shrug of your shoulders and bolted out of the room.

“Are you happy? ‘Cause I damn well hope you are. Got your fucking decision, man,” Beau retorted.

“Fuck you.”

Beau only shook his head in response and scoffed, leaving the room in search of you.

It mattered how you felt.

Chapter 11: You With Me

Did that conversation go as you'd expected? I think even Carla is secretly voting for Beau 😂 Next week, Diane's back with more shenanigans... 👀

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[forklesbian]

So, I've been thinking about how much I love Death To The Mechanisms (Both the album and song, but particularly the song) I love how the instrumental under each death sounds different. Gunpowder Tims sounds more dramatic (I'm not sure if that would be the right word) and takes on the style kind of like the Bifrost Incident and how Marius' sounds like High Noon Over Camelot. Brian's has Lost in the Cosmos underneath it, which is just so perfect and so sad because it's both his past and his death. I love how there are two kind of categories for how they die, either a purposeful death that they did themselves or some small accident. Like Gunpowder Tim knew he was dying so he went on a rampage to possibly go out in a big explosion of infamy, but what took him out was not wearing a seat belt, because why would he wear a seat belt? He's survived ship crashes and much worse before, why would that be the thing that finally did him in? And Johnny dies in some probably completely avoidable bar fight. Imagine finding out the "immortal" that became such a big part of all your history was found dead from a simple stab in the heart.

That is if they even found most of their bodies. Brian's might have been found by a wandering ship, kept around as a interesting trinket they found, maybe never finding his heart and knowing he once lived. Nobody probably bothered to check the ship wreckage for Tim's corpse, they would probably just glad the mad man blowing everything up was dead. There is no way in hell anyone found Raphaella body. Ivy's body was probably discovered by explorers who wanted to check out the long burned library (and possibly find more interesting books than what she had saved) and found a long chared skeleton that became a museum peice for a short while due to its odd brain and several long gone items that appeared to be talisman or memorabilia of some kind, some say that one looked like a small violin or wings or metal playing cards, but nobody will ever know for sure. Johnny's body was probably quickly stripped of valuables and left to rot, or maybe they burned him to make sure that he wasn't as immortal as he claimed during the fight. Nothing was left to find of Marius. No one was left to find Ashes. Finding a wooden puppet on a empty planet was interesting to be sure, but nothing ground breaking, it didn't move and was hollow except for some rotting tissue in its throat, it's face looked oddly sad but it was probably just a discarded art project and was left to collect dust until the star nearest to its resting place took everything out. Some conspiracy theories might pop up about the crew, but eventually, enough time will pass that it doesn't really matter if immortals ever existed and any traces of them will be lost to time as well. Any history books mentioning things like The Moon Kaiser, New Texas, King Cole, or a crew of immortal psychos causing trouble or singing about war will rot or burn or just become uninteresting to everyone else.

[yuurivoice]

might be reading too much into it, but we the audience obviously still don't know what auron has experienced by the time lost and found happens.

auron said that he'd started realizing recently that everything good that's happened to him hasn't been accidental, does that mean that at that point, he has reason to believe that him and rook was something predestined and orchestrated? even if he doesn't have the full knowledge to know all the info about withered finn and such.

or was he just saying he has to take matters into his own hands more generally?

He is saying that he can accept and pursue good things for himself, on purpose, rather than occasionally having moments of goodness that he otherwise hadn't been seeking or feeling deserving of.

I think that's the biggest thing to take out of it. He now feels that he is worth experiencing goodness, and is willing to take measures to take it for himself. But because he's...well, not exactly well adjusted or socialized, he opted to play god and put these two people together.

So, much less "things are happening on purpose to me!!!!!" and more like "I've sacrificed my opportunities for goodness on purpose, but have found that it is okay to pursue goodness for myself, with intent".

That, paired with Auron's lack of faith vs Charlie's faith, is probably the focal point.

There have been a lot of fun teasers up to this point, but most all of them are just that, teasers. I do not work backwards. The things to expect and anticipate are given to you in the content and I wouldn't look too hard at things outside of it because 9/10 times you're going to wander off in the wrong direction. (Bones not withstanding, I wanted to...throw a bone...to people who had been super locked in to the broader YV content situation. That and he's too hot not to share.)

Typically I play my cards closer to the chest, but with how long everything has taken I have felt pressure to share ahead of time (plus we've had big events deserving of big reveals), so I think that has contributed to some of the stretching.

There's something brewing, there's pieces of what's to come, but I don't think there's enough of anything to really grasp something as specific as that at this point.

[bibinibikkkkk]

Laurent's sin

I also decided to write about Laurent, but I warn you that Laurent drives me crazy, I have A LOT of thoughts about him. Since all the books are Damen's POV, many things about Laurent are up to us to interpret. So I also warn you that everything here is MY thoughts, and I know that sometimes I get lost in them. Laurent is one of my favorite characters, so I love seeing other people's interpretations, even if they differ from mine. There are things here that are more speculation since we don't have much information given by Laurent himself.

Laurent’s sin is wrath. Laurent's wrath is so great that it leaves him blind sometimes. Laurent is not the type of person who waits to truly know someone to have an opinion. He hates people from the go and waits for them to prove that they don't deserve his wrath. Laurent looks for the worst in others. It doesn't matter if someone is a great person, practically a saint, if they do something that isn't 100% honorable, Laurent will hold on to that one thing to classify that person as evil. So yeah, Laurent hates a lot of things and people. But most of all, Laurent hates himself most.

For my college degree, I had to do extensive research on victims of sexual abuse who developed PTSD. So I read and heard many stories from victims and I can say that one of the characteristics that most (if not all) of these victims have is that they feel GUILT. In my work, I basically analyze the defensive reactions that people who experience a violent event can have. For example, during sexual abuse, the victim can enter a state of tonic immobility or dissociation, where even though they really want to defend themselves, their body remains immobile. It is a 100% biological and involuntary reaction. But many victims do not know or do not understand this and so after the abuse happens, they feel like they should have done something, fought back, and defended themselves from the abuse. That is why many blame themselves. But what I mean by this is that Laurent probably feels this way. After he understands what his uncle did to him, Laurent most likely feels guilty. He must blame himself for not fighting his uncle, he thinks he somehow allowed this to happen to him. What would Auguste think if he knew this, that Laurent wasn't able to protect himself? So this guilt develops into self-hatred. Laurent's wrath is much more towards himself than against the world. Laurent hates the naive and vulnerable boy he became after his brother's death. He thinks that's why his uncle abused him: because he let him.

After Laurent realizes all this, he forces himself to change. He doesn't want to be vulnerable and weak anymore. He creates a personality that is the extreme opposite of that. He becomes cold, does everything to become physically stronger, and represses all emotions (except anger). He doesn't repress his anger because anger is, in fact, the only thing that keeps him alive. Anger and the desire to take revenge. Laurent also hates this character he had to create to protect himself. Because if he needs mechanisms to protect himself, it's because he's still vulnerable. I swear, Laurent's mind must be a living hell with so many contradictory thoughts. He knows he has become a bad person, he doesn't like it, but he is very afraid of being different.

He wants to take revenge on his uncle, but not just kill him, he wants to take revenge on his uncle by proving that he can be better than him, more intelligent. Laurent not only wants to beat his uncle, he wants to see his uncle lose, again and again. It may seem like the same thing, but it's not. Laurent tries hard to see through his uncle's schemes and plans meticulously to make all these schemes work in his favor, which he knows irritates his uncle more than anything. I would even say that for the last few years, Laurent has been in a limbo where he feels "comfortable" with these "games" between him and his uncle. Everything changes when he realizes that his uncle really wants him dead, because until then Laurent didn't think that, or didn't let himself think about it, which is more likely. Here is the irony of how Laurent is more like Damen than he lets on. Laurent knew that his uncle didn't love him, but he still didn't want to believe that his uncle would kill him in the end.

Meeting Nicaise and Aimeric is the closest Laurent comes to thinking that maybe the guilt he feels over his abuse isn’t justified. Because he sees himself in both boys and he can, from an outside perspective, understand that neither Nicaise nor Aimeric are to blame for the abuse they suffered. But he represses these emotions, especially with Aimeric. When Laurent freaks out at Aimeric, he’s freaking out at himself. It's the first time Laurent is capable of causing harm to himself, looking at the living mirror that is Aimeric. The craziest thing to me is how Nicaise and Aimeric's deaths, without Damen showing up at the end, are the only alternatives for what would happen to Laurent too. Murder or suicide (sacrifice).

Besides obviously wanting revenge on his uncle, Laurent wants revenge on Damianos, the man who killed his brother and then started his years of abuse. This anger and hope of one day getting revenge on Damen is also what keeps him going. Even more than the anger towards the Regent. Because, at the end of Kings Rising, when Laurent is free of the anger he feels towards Damen, after he accepts that Damen is not to blame for his years of abuse (he admits that his uncle would do the same regardless), I believe that Laurent finally admits something he always knew: he would never win against his uncle. Not alone. And, even now in a "relationship" with Damen, Laurent still feels alone. Now without the anger towards Damianos and with the conviction that he will not win, all that is left is self-hatred. And that is what drives him to sacrifice himself. He's all alone, not even his wrath is there anymore. And the love he feels for Damen still isn't enough to quell this self-hatred.

This makes me think that Damen, in a very twisted way, saved Laurent from himself from the beginning. I even thought that if Laurent didn't care about Damianos, maybe he would have killed himself right after he realized the abuse and that he had no chance of defeating his uncle. But no, Laurent is too complex for that, he only sacrifices himself because it would give Damen an advantage to win in the end. Despite all the horror that Laurent suffered and his wrath, he is probably the least selfish character, he would never kill himself to end his suffering, knowing that others are also suffering and that he can do something to help.

In my humble opinion, I think Laurent could be MUCH WORSE. I see a lot of people condemning Laurent as if he were the worst villain, but honestly, I would be much worse, especially against the man who killed my brother. Laurent still gave Damen many chances. Laurent made Damen suffer LITTLE (and it pains me a lot to say that, because I would hate to see Damen suffer more). I believe that the entire time Laurent was torturing Damen, he wanted the opportunity to kill Damen in a more honorable way, perhaps this is what stopped Laurent from killing him when he still had the chance. But this is just an assumption. Sometimes I think even Laurent didn't know what he was doing and what he wanted to do. We need to remember that Laurent is still a 20-year-old who has been isolated from the world for too long. Laurent may be very smart, but he doesn't have the necessary life experience. There's a lot that Laurent doesn't know, but he's very good at pretending he does (even Damen falls for it (and us)). Laurent ultimately regrets what he did, because, again, that was him hiding (protecting himself) behind his villainous mask. He also ends up forgiving Damen once he understands the circumstances under which Auguste died. Something he probably already knew, but didn't want to admit, once again, because that would put an end to the thing that kept him alive.

Laurent finally agreeing to leave Arles to go on border patrol was the biggest turning point in his life. He meets the people of his kingdom, innocent people who have no idea what is happening at court. People who respect and love him. Those who remember him from the past, remember the real Laurent. The freedom he felt from no longer needing to contain his strength. All this and more was important for Laurent to be able to see beyond what his uncle allowed him to see and do. He starts to trust more people, the ones who trust him back. And then that's when Damen starts to see the "changes" and fall in love with Laurent.

This is probably super confusing, but that's how Laurent makes me feel hahahahhaha. What we read throughout the trilogy is still the very beginning of the romance between Damen and Laurent. Damen showing up at the trial was probably a big part of making Laurent realize that Damen's feelings are not frivolous, it's not just a passing attraction for him. Laurent is no longer alone. I go crazy wondering if maybe all Laurent needed was someone stubborn enough for him to start being himself, without having to hide behind masks. Maybe a friend, someone who would look long enough to realize who Laurent really is, like Damen did little by little. Laurent has been alone for so long, with his secrets and his pain. He probably isolated himself like that too for fear of loving someone like he loved Auguste and becoming even more vulnerable (that's kinda what happens with Nicaise). He's certainly done a lot of things he regrets because of his wrath, especially against Damen, so I think Damen will need to work a little harder to prove to Laurent how much he loves him. Just like Laurent will certainly do the same.

[beef-brisket]

Angel smiled: I'll style it, and every sinner and demon will be looking at you, but there's only one that really matters~.

Adam scoffs: I can get attention very easily... I just don't know why he's suddenly interested.

Angel: "Suddenly"? Babe. He's been interested since you got here.

Adam: Don't be offended if I tell you you're full of shit.

Adam folds his arms as Angel starts brushing his hair.

Angel: I'm very offended. The fuck went on with you two anyway? I know the whole wife thing, but I think it's more than that.

Adam: Don't know what you're talking about...

Angel: Now you're the one full of shit. I can read people, Adam. And as much as you claim to hate the short, red, and spicy king, I have a feeling that's more of a shield than anything.

Adam scoffed: A shield? Seriously? No. There's no fucking shield. I'm not a pussy, I don't need shielding.

Angel: That's what every traumatized dilf says. News flash, big guy, you're in Hell. Not Heaven. There's not of that "men don't show feelings" bullshit. We're all human, we all feel. Even the big bad exorcist.

Adam: ...It doesn't matter. Not now. Honestly, I don't think it ever did matter...

Angel: And what's this "did"?

Adam: I don't know. Shit.

Angel: I think "did" is you.

Adam: I'm not "did". "Did" is a fucking loser... I'm not a loser.

Angel pulled out the curling iron and started heating it up.

Angel: "Did" had a big role to play, right? Seemed to be a bigger role than everyone else's. Maybe "did" was forced to push their feelings down to keep others happy. To keep others comfortable. Maybe "did" was told they didn't matter, maybe "did" was told to protect his wife from his best friend, maybe "did" was being pressured by Heaven to be the big strong protector, when there was nothing to protect anyone from.

Adam stayed silent, even when Angel started curling his hair.

Angel: Heaven put a lot of pressure on "did." Making "did" feel like they didn't matter because when they failed, they were punished more servery than the ones that actually did wrong. They let Lilith off easy, didn't they. They let Lucifer off even easier. He's a fucking king. Eve, well. I have a feeling that once she became self-aware, she wasn't too keen on Heaven's whole plan, right?

Angel was silent for a minute or so before continuing.

Angel: I think "did" is Adam. And I think Adam didn't deserve any of this. I think you were doomed front the start, babe.

Adam could feel tears pool in his eyes, but he tried to hold them off as Angel crouched in front of him, amd put his hands on his knees.

Angel: Babe. You hate so much about yourself. You're not an asshole or a bastard. You're pushing people away before they get too close. You don't want to get hurt again. But I think-.

Adam looks at Angel as he cups his face, and give him the warmest smile.

Angel: I think Adam deserves love. And another chance. We all want to know the real Adam. The Adam that's behind the shield. And, think of your hair as the first step to that. A small step for others, but a massive step for you. And that's so important, Adam. So important.

Adam wiped his eyes: N-No one's loved me for thousands of years... h-he's playing me, Angel. He's probably j-just going to humiliate me, like she did...

Angel stood and pulled Adam into a hug, using all three sets of his arms. His lower set rubbed his back while his middle set held him firmly, his top set ran their fingers through his warm, golden hair.

Angel: You've been fucked over so many times, and you've held onto that pain. Loves... amazing, babe. Being in that garden, being made along with two others who are learning at the same time as you, having them be named your wife, isn't love. You were new, you all were. That wasn't love, Adam. Not saying you'll ever love Lucifer, fuck, you don't even have to forgive him. Hold onto that anger and hate all you want, but I swear, you be so much happier without it. You'll be freer without it. And you'll ve giving one of the most important people in your past, another chance. And Adam?

Angel pulls away so Adam can look up at him. His heart breaks at how defeated and tired Adam looks.

Angel: If he fucks this up. Then that's his fucking loss. And if you ever want out of this place, I know you can make a name for yourself. You're fucking amazing. You don't need anyone to be you. You just need to give you a shot.

Adam nods and blushes as Angel pulls him into another hug.

Angel: Besides. I'd happily kick his ass for you~.

Blonde!Adam au!

It's stupid and I love it.

After dying and waking up again in Hell, Adam's demon form is how he looked in Eden. Exactly.

Blonde hair and all.

Before Adam went to the hotel, he was able to fine (steal) himself some clothes, so he made sure to have a hoodie on so no one would see his hair.

The only times he'd take it off is when he's in his room. He's craving that hair dye, but he's too shit scared to leave his room, let alone the hotel (he doesn't know that part of his punishment is that hair dye doesn't work on him 🤷))

So far, his hoodie has been working fine until one morning when Adam is sick and is late for one of his sessions, and Lucifer teleports into his room.

Lucifer: I'm sick of you doing nothing! I allowed you here because you're meant to be working your ass off towards redemption! Now, get up! The sooner you do that, the sooner you can get out of my realm-!

Lucifer pulls back the covers. If Adam didn't feel like shit, he would have fought back.

Lucifer stares at Adam. He completely forgot that blonde was his natural colour.

He touches a strand, making Adam groan and try to smack Lucifer's hand away.

Lucifer: ...And they say my hair is like gold...

So everything is the same but Adam is just blonde as a sinner? If hair dye didn't work he would get a wig lmao

Adams laying there feeling like shit and Lucifer is just touching his hair lol 😆

[blood-orange-juice]

I've seen an idea that Childe is riding the whale, in a sense that he has something positive to say about it, but like... Childe constantly talks about fishing and hunting large sea creatures and his specialty dish is described as "a bloodbath battle against a cracken".

He wants to fucking murder that thing. He wants to feast on the flesh of an eldritch God.

And you know what? You know why?

Because that's what bravery is or rather lifeshattering ptsd . Because he witnessed a threat, a monster that could destroy the entire world like it destroyed his. Because he is a hero, a protector of innocence. Because he has a family back on the surface. He has an entire nation, hell, the entire world! He has comrades, some weaker then himself at 14, some with the same eyes of the warrior as him.

So what's a hero to do? Defeat the monster, of course! Alone, of course, because who if not him? Lunging into the depth, drowning in magic and blood and conflicts far older than anything he can imagine. Destroying the beast completely for what if not his ("his") power can defeat it. Biting into its flesh full of rage as old as the word itself...

Finding yourself breathing that salty water...

I actually looked at the trailer yet again and before he does that last attack (which looks like riding the whale) he slashes the whale's tail leaving a wound. That's definitely not a friendly gesture.

So I think he's probably still riding it but with the intention to follow it into the rift and kill, yeah...

And also yes! Absolutely. That's 100% Childe's thought process.

But also real bravery is so much more than rushing into danger and the world is always more complicated than that (what if the whale's only fault is being mad from betrayal and grief), and nobody defeats an apocalyptic beast alone.

I hope he gets to learn it.

[brionysea]

allison and five are actually fascinating to write together. allison is the sibling for checking on people and asking in plain english if they're okay but five would literally rather bleed out than show a shred of vulnerability