#it pisses me off so much that no matter how many i block they find me with another account shortly after

[thefanficmonster]

Piss off your parents pt.3 (finale)

PART 1

PART 2

Colby Brock x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Drinking, Swearing

Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Time wasted can only be compensated with time well spent.

"You wasted us so much time."

Y/N's reply is so far from anything he could've expected, he nearly sprains his neck when his head snaps up. To find a small smile on her face, of all things.

"What?"

There's a note of deep-rooted anger in the laugh that deflates her lungs, "How long?"

"Huh?"

"How long have you felt that way?" She doubles down, her gaze now stiffened into a glare piercing right through him.

"Since we fucking met, ok?!" He'd be less nervous answering questions in front of the FBI. He doesn't know how the script flipped to her being the angry one but it's clear she's gonna let him have it. And he's gonna have to take it, he owes it to her.

"I can't fucking believe you." She shakes her head, shifting to back further away from him and lean her back against the cold mirror behind her. She'd rather hop off the counter and run off - that's what sober her would do, anyway. But, for one, her drunk alter ego is a lot more confrontational, and for two - she physically can't do that. Somewhere along the past ten minutes, Colby somehow ended up standing between her parted legs, blocking her the ability to run away without even meaning to. "You've kept me at arm's length for a whole fucking decade! Treating me like a child, a porcelain doll you feel obligated to look out for! You broke my heart so ignorantly by sleeping around with half the damn town and bragged to me about it! You pushed me into brainwashing myself in love with someone else, led me to believe he felt the same way and now you have the gull to say you were in love with me all along! Bullshit!"

Hellfire, she's showering him with utter hellfire. Each thing she listed got worse than the previous just when he expected it couldn't. It unlocked so many memories he made a vow to never again visit. That was such a low point in his life he didn't notice he had dragged one of his best friends into it as well. Well she's spelling it out for him right here, right now. Loud and fucking clear.

"And to think I was in love with you throughout all of that...fuck, I'm stupid..." She adds in a whisper, highly contrasting the rain of bullets she unleashed seconds prior. It was meant more for herself than him yet it was the final blow for him. His heart is officially down for the count.

"Was? Past tense?" Colby's eyes widen immediately. He didn't hear the words in his brain, they were as news to his ears as they were to hers. He doesn't know where the audacity came from. It's as if he's asking to get smacked. At this point, he'd prefer that to whatever venom she might spew at him. All well within her right.

To his luck, Y/N's gotten tired. Physically and emotionally. And she can't keep the grudge flame alive. Not with Colby at least. She can't help the soft spot on her heart for him. A spot so bruised and sore she can't believe it hasn't turned stiff as stone. It can't, not when her heart starts racing within his proximity every damn time. Not when a smile spreads across her face every time she looks at him. It hurts, yeah, but she doubts it'll ever go away.

"Like it fucking matters." She whispers, again with the same bitterness from earlier.

"Yes it fucking does, Y/N." It's like his brain has been shut off, all rationality has gone out the window. "You said I wasted us so much time. Don't waste more just because you're angry."

She's quick to bite back, "How can I not be? You deserve it, Colby!"

"I know that!" He might not be rational, bordering on desperate, but he's still self aware enough to see and admit to the error of his ways. But he'll be damned if he lets go of this last string of hope. He's clinging onto it like a twig in a flood. "I know I deserve it. But we don't. What we could be, that doesn't deserve more time down the drain, Y/N."

Sudden banging on the door startles them both, reminding them they're in a very peculiar location. A public bathroom. The ladies' bathroom on top of all.

"One second!" Contrasting the deer-in-headlights panic on Colby's face, Y/N takes it upon herself to handle the situation. The sound has scared him into backing away from her, giving her the required space to hop down. She turns to him, poking a finger to his chest, "Act normal. Nothing happened."

With that said, she leads the way out, unlocking the door and slipping out, giving the two girls waiting outside an apologetic smile. They return two knowing smirks when they see Colby emerge from the bathroom right behind her.

"Sorry, girl. Didn't mean to interrupt." The brunette slurs, winking at them both before following after her friend.

"You're good." Y/N replies politely, muttering after the door closed, "You helped."

The pang in Colby's chest cannot be put into words. Before he's had time to recalibrate, she's already gone, having made her way back into the party, disappearing into the crowd.

And just like that, he feels that last string of hope break.

* * * * *

"Hey, I'm so sorry about what I said earlier." Nate shakes the strands of hair away from his eyes so can properly look down at his semi-sober companion who's currently carrying him towards the elevator.

Y/N can't help but smile at him. It hurts like hell but at this point it's like the twentieth blow to the heart tonight. She's become used to it.

"It's ok, Nate. Thanks for being honest and not leading me on." She's aware she's thanking him for the bare minimum but that little conversation with Colby earlier proved to her she should be grateful for that even. Hey, he could've lied. He could've stringed her along, had his fun and then pulled the 'nothing serious' card.

But that's not Nate. He could never.

You thought Colby would never lie to you either. Now here we are

"No, that's not what I mean. I got scared, you know? Friend groups don't survive romance. But I don't care now that I think about it. We should give it a shot. It could be great. Fuck what they think." His words are slurred and his eyes are glazed over, but each syllable is drowning in sincerity. Drunk words are sober thoughts and all that but she'd rather take it as complete nonsense right now.

"Nate, sweetie..." She readjusts the hold she has on her heels so she can grab hold of his hand, "I doubt you know what you're thinking right now. Let's talk in the morning, ok? Get some sleep, sober up, and then we'll figure it out. Sounds good?" She says gently, as if explaining to a three-year-old that Santa isn't real.

He gives her one of those smiles that were the initial reason she (thought she) fell for him, "Yeah." They stop at the door to his shared hotel room with Sam and Colby. Before she can reach for the doorknob, Nate turns to her, his hand coming up to cup her cheek. She momentarily lets herself play along and leans into his touch, knowing how wrong it actually is. "You're the best, Y/N." Their faces, almost instinctively, inch closer and she doesn't do anything to stop it. Fuck all rationality. This night can't get much worse, how bad could a kiss shared between friends be?

She never gets to find out though because the door to the room is thrown open, forcing them apart in an instant. The person standing on the doorstep makes it ten time worse - because of-fucking-course it's Colby.

Y/N immediately starts regretting what almost just happened, semi-glad it didn't. She shouldn't have let it get that far. She's doing to Nate what she was thankful he didn't do to her - stringing him along. She can barely recognize herself - almost kissing one of her best friends while being completely in love with another.

"Oh, um....sorry. I wanted to come help carry Nate up but.....guess you got that covered." He speaks up, trying to cut the awkwardness him and Y/N are currently drowning in. Nate is none the wiser, waving off his friend's apology with a quick 'don't worry about it'. He gives one last squeeze to her hand before going inside, leaving the two staring at each other.

"Is Sam ok?" Y/N asks, cocking her head to the side to take a peek inside the room where she can see Sam's shoes at the foot of the bed. "That fall was pretty bad."

"Yeah, he's fine." Colby sighs heavily, looking over his shoulder at the blonde in question, "Should've stopped climbing on tables like he has nine lives long ago. This might be the lesson he needed."

"Hey!" She frowns at him, "Have some compassion!"

He chuckles, opening his mouth to respond when a sudden yell cuts him off.

"Y/N? That you? Come in!" It's Sam, his voice conveying the pain he's currently in.

She knows she should be heading back down to the front desk to grab her key and go to her own room. But she can't just leave her friend on 'read' in real life and at such a dire time.

So, despite her better judgement, she goes inside to find Nate already out like a light and Sam laying flat on his bed with an arm over his eyes.

"Hi Sammy. Partied a little too hard there, dude." Y/N smiles softly at him, sitting on the edge of his bed.

Sam removes his arm from his face, looking up at her with puppy dog eyes, "Am I gonna die?"

Simultaneously both her and Colby snort out a laugh, sharing a look of mutual understanding and amusement before she returns her attention to the wounded soldier, "You won't. I promise. Just go to sleep." She replies reassuringly, readjusting the ice pack Colby had placed on his knee, causing him to hiss but still nod.

"Stay here for the night?" He asks, almost pleadingly. This interaction is a good insight on the siblingship they have. Colby and Nate have always been variables to her, but luckily she has Sam to be her constant.

"Where am I gonna sleep, Sam?" She asks lightheartedly, looking around the room at the two already occupied beds and the couch by the window.

"There." Sam points at said couch where Y/N can see some trademark Colby clothes splayed around. That's his little nook, clearly.

"And where's Colby gonna sleep?" She laughs, shooting Colby a soft look to find him already staring at her with the same gentleness she's always felt emanating from his eyes.

"The floor." Sam says with no hesitation, causing you both to laugh.

Colby is quick to flip him off, "Fuck you, man."

All he gets in response is a soft snore, alerting them that Sam too has drifted off. Probably for the best cause that scrape on his knee doesn't look pleasant.

And suddenly, they feel like they're alone. Sure, there are two other people present but a canon firing wouldn't be efficient in waking them up. So, they're practically alone.

Neither of them is happy about it.

"Really though, you should stay. What are you gonna do alone in your room?" Colby breaks the brief silence as he awkwardly struts across the room to subtly clean up the mess he's made on the couch.

Y/N shrugs, "Watch TV, drink some more, snack on something, pass out. The usual." She shrugs, carefully getting up so she doesn't nudge Sam out of his slumber.

"You can do all that here....with some company." He offers, cautious about every word that comes out of his mouth. "We don't have to talk about anything. Just raid the minibar and snack tray."

They should talk, they both know it. They're aware that they're at an age where they are considered adults. And adults talk about difficult shit even when they don't want to. They do what should be done.

Not Y/N and Colby, though.

They've cracked open a bottle of rosé and a bag of Cheetos and are currently sitting in silence. A comfortable one, for a change. They've quietly agreed to have this moment be outside the realm of everything else that occurred tonight. Like an island in a stormy sea. There will come a time when they'll have to talk about it, but most definitely not tonight.

Unless...

"Remember the first time we got drunk together?" She asks, watching the pink liquid splashing around in her glass.

Colby snorts at the memory, or whatever he can recall of it. "Barely."

"Yeah, same." She laughs, downing the rest of her wine, "I remember you disappearing for a good portion of the night. Sam and I found you bruised and bloodied hours later."

He joins her in the reminiscing, "That rose bush really did a number on me."

She takes a moment to look him in the eyes. She stays quiet, analyzing him in a way that heats up his skin as though her gaze were a physical force, "You didn't actually fall in a rose bush, did you?"

Ah, there's another lie. A small one in comparison to the first but still a lie. And since it's a night of confessions..."Remember Austin?"

He just unlocked a forgotten part of her brain, "Oh shit yeah! Whatever happened to that guy?"

A dry chuckle rattles his chest, his hand coming up to rub his face, "Well, in short, he liked you a little too much for my liking. So he found out what happens when I'm jealous and drunk."

Y/N can't help but smile. She's a simple girl, of course she finds it hot. But she'll be damned if she lets him notice. She quickly masks it with a joke, "Oh my God, you killed him!"

He laughs, shaking his head before leaning towards her a bit as if he's about to spill some government secrets, "Full disclosure, between you and me..." His eyebrows lift, waiting for her to nod a vow of silence before continuing, "I got my ass kicked."

She busts out laughing, undermining all concern for her two sleeping friends, "I'm not surprised." She teases him, reaching for the bottle for a refill.

Colby doesn't let that happen though. He quickly snatches the bottle, keeping it out of her reach, "Excuse you?!"

"You can't be salty after admitting it yourself." For caution purposes, she sets down the glass before getting up on her knees, extending her arm in a futile attempt at retrieving the stolen item. To her dismay, he just stretches his arm further, making it that much harder. "Oh, fuck you..." she mutters, hovering herself over his lap precariously, putting them in a pretty compromising position.

Colby kicks it into high gear, freeing his hand by setting the bottle down so he can sit her in his lap with a slight tug, earning him a small gasp from her. She settles into him just perfectly, like this is far from the first time they've found each other in such predicament.

Their faces are inches apart. His hands are on her sides, hers are on his shoulders. The proximity is more intoxicating than the alcohol they've consumed throughout the night. They are high on each other and are just now realizing it. Or just now admitting it.

"I thought we weren't gonna talk about it." She whispers, afraid of breaking the thin veil of tranquility currently surrounding them.

"We're not talking about it." His tone mimics hers as though he's afraid he'll scare her off. His grip on her is gentle but firm. It'll physically hurt if he tries to force himself to let go of her.

Luckily he doesn't have to because, before either of them know it, their lips collide.

The innocence of the kiss is brief and gone within seconds. Hands start roaming, breaths are shared, lines are crossed. And, technically, they aren't talking about it. But still, plenty is being said. A decade of pent up emotion is coming to fruition. It's nothing short of passionate, desperate almost.

Right on-brand for them.

* * * * *

"Hi."

"Hi."

They're fully clothed, cuddled up on the couch and alone in the room. Not all lines were crossed last night of fear they might regret it in the morning. However, if their smiles are anything to go by, nothing is being regretted.

Neither of them attempts to move from their comfortable little bubble. Neither of them cares that Nate and Sam probably witnessed this sight when they woke up. Neither of them tries checking the time. It's their way of trying to make the moment last longer into infinity.

"What's going on in that head of yours?" Colby breaks the silence, threading his fingers through her hair.

Her ear is directly over his heart, listening to its steady rhythm she finds so much comfort in, "Just that I can't even lie right. I tell my mom one lie and it ends up becoming true."

Laughter vibrates throughout his chest, sending waves through her body as well, "Is this you asking me out?"

"Do you want it to be?" Y/N shrugs, tilting her head to look up at him.

He smirks down at her, "So much for rebelling, huh?"

"Shut up."

Knowing he won't do so on his own, she tends to the matter herself by pressing her lips to his, effectively shutting him up.

Tagging: @benbarnesprettygurl @beanredacted @m1tsk1l0v3er

[mins-fins]

meat grinder — [ jeong jaehyun — 엔시티. ]

detectives rivals but they're a little too flirty (and also crazy) | now playing ☆ 

"you always keep corpses on your floor?"

you stab the knife once tucked between your two fingers into a chopping block, whistling into the cool air of your kitchen. your eyes narrow, then glance at the 'corspe' which lays on your floor, an eye roll being your response.

it's clear that detective jeong is as stupid as he is predictable.

"it's a copy you dimwit".

"ooh" he places a hand above his hard, a pout forming at the middle finger you give in his response. "you've wounded me".

"maybe i should create a copy" you again remove the knife from it's place, twirling it between your fingers. the faint look of amusement in his eyes would be so much better if it was instead fear, but it'd be too predictable to murder your fellow coworker, you like to believe you're much smarter than that.

"you gonna murder me like you did suh?"

"i'll have you know that youngho is alive and well" your tongue clicks against the roof of your mouth. your fingertip traces the blade you hold, but it'd be too easy to murder him now.

you have composure, you aren't going to kill someone in your own home, risk getting this heathen's brain matter all over your carpet.

"you just always stroll into someone's house?" a tug at the apron previously caged around you has it falling to the ground, the back of your hand swiping the sweat off your forehead. "maybe i should shoot you".

"that revolver isn't loaded".

"would you like to test it out for me?"

he finds himself snickering at the curt threat, watching as you present a perfectly theatric smile on your face. he then glances back at the diorama resting on your floor, he wouldn't put it past you to murder someone. "you should be careful where you place your corpses, what if i tripped?"

"that was exactly my plan".

he amuses himself in your empty threat. "you always know how to cheer me up".

you scoff, steps rampant as you near the man whose face is pissing you off. the tip of the blade presses softly against his chest, maybe you should press harder, torture as an interrogation method isn't entirely unheard of. "stop your stalling jeong, you have five minutes to give me a reason as to why you're here".

he tilts his head to the side, lightly grunting at the kick you deliver to his shin. he resists the very enticing urge to double over in pain, that would be giving a point, he can't let you win. "wow, you won't even allow me any credence?"

you stare him down with nothing more than a mere eyebrow raise, the smile on your lips seems permanent, but so is jaehyun's. how annoying.

"credence isn't in my vocabulary".

"well that's obvious, you almost stabbed that guy to death last week".

your teeth dig into your bottom lip, it may be bleeding right now, but that's the least of your problems. "he pissed me off".

"is that your reasoning for everything?"

"well when a man tries to pull off your face, you often react brashly".

"i would say you react brashly to many things".

you roll your eyes again, giving a mere glance at your wristwatch. "quit your stalling".

"you gonna stab me too?"

"i could, that must be your kink or something right?"

his lips turned downward in a feigned showing of unhappiness, you would laugh if you weren't completely pissed. "i see you've done your homework".

your eye rolls are endless. "what renders you so gleeful to waltz into my humble abode on this fine morning?"

the irritation which laces your tone manifests in the way you flick your wrist, knife still pointed his way. he has half a mind to laugh, but maybe you would actually stab him if he committed such a crime. "hilarious l/n, zhong has gone missing".

your head snaps back towards him so quickly it's a miracle it doesn't come off. "excuse me?"

"you seem to think i'm joking".

"you're a liar".

"and you think the worst of me, where have you been for the past seven hours? it's the talk of the city!"

"i don't exactly read news clippings" you finally let him go, the point of the knife leaving his chest.

"what kind of detective doesn't keep up with news?" when you scoff again, he offers you a round of applause.

"thank you for the kindness".

"moon wants us to work on the case together".

you just barely retain your sigh. you love taeil, you really do, but this arrangement makes you want to drive the knife into your own heart and have this fucker watch as you bleed out on your own kitchen floor. "tell taeil i won't agree with such an arrangement".

"if you want me to do that so badly than maybe you should cuss him out yourself".

"nobody is cussing out moon taeil".

maybe if you make your intentions clear jeong jaehyun will get out of your hair, but it isn't that easy, of course it isn't. he leans forward, elbows on your kitchen island. "what's so wrong with me?"

"would you like a list?"

"maybe we should let that revolver settle it".

you suck your teeth, carving shapes into the marble of your countertop. you narrow your eyes, the sound of the blade clashing against your counter. "two months and i'm out".

"aww, but you're my favorite detective".

"don't make me switch you out with nakamoto".

jaehyun snorts, making eye contact with his own reflection in your blade. "that'd be terrible, i adore our partnership, baby".

that stupid smile still sticks onto his face.

how annoying.

[jakeysbuttsheeks]

Everything

18+ minors DNI

Word count : 1k

Warnings: adult content, unprotected sex , oral sex , fingering , tobacco use , fluff , friends to lovers , soft Jake .

Parings : Jake X fem reader

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say to that"  Jake said as you showed him the texts your ex was sending you . He seemed weirdly serious and irritated.

"when is he ever going to stop?" You groan as you read the 10 text in a row your ex sent you .

"He won't because you keep shutting your mouth" jake snapped , and honestly you were surprised at the anger on his tone . He's usually very friendly and never gets angry at you .

He was your best friend. The both of you had the connection of muisc and so many other things you could never have with anyone else . He helped you break up with your uptight ex a week ago . But wasn't happy that you and your ex were going to stay friends.

"I can't just block him Jake" you reasoned .

"Don't block him then ! At least tell him to stop begging for you back every 5 seconds!" Jake said his voice raised .

"I did!" You yell back in frustration.

"You're supposed to support me not yell at me for everything I do Jake! This is hard for me!" You yell , but not showing any anger .

"Don't expect me to support you when you won't take any of my advice"  Jake said , he wasn't even looking at you , his eyes on the tv . But you could tell he wasn't interested in the show at all . He just didn't want to look at you .

"Are you mad at me?" You ask , hurt by what he just said . He was genuinely pissed .

"Why would I be ? You're free to do whatever you want. Just don't come and ask me for advice and then not take it and come crying to me again" he said harshly , still not looking at you .

"So you're tired of me then" you tried your best to contain your tears . Jake had never spoken to you like this before . Ever. Even in arguments he could never really be mean or rude to you .

He finally looked at you with hints of sympathy in his eyes when he noticed how soft your tone had gone .

"No- i-" jake sighed heavily before speaking again .

"Fine. Im mad" jake looked away again , this time because he was embarrassed.

"You waste so much time on that asshole when he doesn't deserve you y|n . Why can't you just see you deserve better and block him ? Do you think he cares that he hurt you ?" Jake asks , his voice sounding agitated.

"And tonight was supposed to be movie night but here you are talking about him again . I could never have treated you how he did and you're still choosing him over me" his eyes swelled up with tears as he looked at you dead in the eye.

"Jake-" you couldn't form out a sentence. Jake was the sweetest to you .

"I'm sorry I didn't-" you barely whisper when you realise you've been treating him like shit .

"Yeah whatever" jake stood off the couch and went outside. You called out after him but you figured he needed to be away from you for a while .

You sat on the couch for 10 minutes until you decided to go out to him , finding him on the patio , leaning on the wooden railing with a cigarette in his hand , looking out into the night .

"Jake?" You call , wrapping your arms around his waist and pressing your cheek at his back . He was quiet, neither did he move .

"I'm sorry I treated you like you don't matter. I just I was so caught up with wanting to be treated right by that asshole that I forgot I already have you." You say . And you felt him ease into your embrace

"I won't ever do that to you again . I'll listen to the advice you give me. And I'm not gonna settle on any guy that doesn't treat me how you treat me .And I'll-" you were cut off by Jake ripping your arms off around him . You looked at him in confusion as he avoided eye contact.

"I need to go" jake spoke as he walked past you , his voice sounded like he had a throat full of fire .

"What-? Jake! But I'm sorry!" You yelled as you began to cry , watching him head back inside you grab his things.

"Can you at least talk to me Jake I'm sorry" you walk in after him to stop him from grabbing his things .

"What's wrong with you!? Fine I'll block him!" You say , grabbing his shoulder to turned him to face you . You heard a loud thunder before it started to rain .

"Forget it y|n" he walked past you to the door.

"I said I'll block him and I said I'm sorry what more do you want!?" You yell as he ignored you off the porch and headed to his car , the rain getting heavier.

"Jake!" You grabbed his arm before he could open his car door , both of you getting wet with the rain .

"What is this about?! Why are you so pissed?!" you said as you held his arm tight .

"Because y|n!" He yelled and snapped his arm out of your grip before looking right at you again .

You stood there getting drenched, waiting for him to continue his sentence as the tears kept streaming down your face .

His gaze softed , his eyes took a single glance at your lips . You couldn't read him in that moment. Usually you and Jake didn't even need to talk to communicate , you could just look at him and you'll know. But now it felt like you were looking at a stranger. Like it wasn't the Jake you knew at all .

You were lost in thought when Jake grabbed the small of your back and pressed his lips against yours. He was nervous but it was like he wanted to do this for a very long time . You couldn't process your bestfriend was kissing you .

Just as your eyes closed to melt into the kiss he pulled back , looking at you with panicked eyes.

The rain got heavier, you couldn't even keep your eyes open as you stared back at him . You'd never seen him so nervous.

"Jake i-" you barely whisper. But you couldn't finish your sentence. His brown scared eyes , pink lips and the outline of his chiseled face seemed extra evident.

In that moment, you felt a rush of overwhelm . how you felt about Jake changed in a fraction of seconds .

You couldn't imagine ever loosing him . He was one of the only people that truely knew you . What he meant to you was more than you realised . You felt like you could do anything for him .

You raised yourself on your toes and threw your arms around him , your lips catching his like they were made for him . He was your other half and you loved him more than you thought.

His arms wrapped around your waist extremely tightly as he kissed you back , he was slightly shocked , overwhelm pulsating through the both of you .

You could taste the rain on his lips as you sucked on his bottom lip , opening your mouth for him to slip his tongue in .

He turned and pushed your back against his car , grabbing the back of your thighs and lifting you up against the car door so he could kiss you with all he had .

The kiss was pure adoration and emotion , it was everything he had pent up . All what he felt , that he couldn't say with words .

You pulled on his soaking dreads as his tongue rubbed against yours with a mixture of saliva and rain water .

You broke the kiss to catch your breath but he didn't want to stop kissing you . His lips immediately attached to your neck , kissing you passionately as you breathed to catch your breath , stretching your neck for him to have more place .

Your eyes rolled back unexpectedly as you let out a soft gasp when he licked and sucked a certain spot under you ear . He kissed you like breathing didn't even matter to him .

He leaned you off the car . with your legs wrapped around his waist, he carried you into the house , tripping almost thrice as he walked up to the door and kicked it open , never breaking the kiss .

The sudden change of environment made you feel different. The both of you were wet and cold .

he staggered up to your bedroom, walking up to the side side of your bed . You dropped your legs from around his waist and knelt on the edge of the bed as he continued to kiss you .

You moved back on the bed , still on your knees as you pulled him into the bed with you . He crawled on the bed on his knees just as you were , still desperate to continue the kiss despite all the movement.

He kissed you down flat on the bed , till you were lying on your back with him Stradling you .

He went back to kissing your neck , this time more gentle than last time , like he was caressing you with his lips .

You could feel his heart thrumming rapidly , And his hand that cupped your cheeks was trembling .

"Jake-" you whisper as you propped yourself on your elbows, making him break away and look at you with the same nervous brown eyes.

You took his hand that cupped your cheek and held it out , you eyes widened as you watched his hand shaking. It wasn't that cold for him to be shivering.

"Hey it's just me" you coo in concern , interlocking your fingers with him , realising he was nervous and panicking, your other hand tucking his damp hair behind his ear.

"You mean everything to me y|n" he spoke , pressing his lips on the back of your hand that held his , his eyes never leaving yours .

His voice was calm and confident but his body language and eyes said otherwise.

"You're everything to me too, Jake" you say pulling him into a hug .

You straddled him and switched to kissing his neck , you could feel him breathing heavily as he massaged his fingers into your scalp .

His eyes rolled back and he let out soft high pitched hums and groans as you sucked on his neck

You sat up slightly to pull his tshirt over his head . He sat up too , helping you before throwing his shirt off the bed . You were now straddling his lap .

You lunged back to pepper kisses down his neck and to his collarbone . You caressed his sides and ran your fingers over his stomach and chest as you left marks all over him , His head tilting back , exposing his neck .

You finally stopped and looked at him , his eyebrows pinched together, his face flushed and red , his eyes half closed , his hands holding your waist tightly.

You kissed his deprived pink lips that seemed to be longing for your kiss.

You could feel him hard under you . You slipped your hand between the two of you while kissing him and palmed his bluge .

His mouth opened agape as you continued kissing him , letting out muffled whimpers into your mouth .

You broke the kiss and crawled down to his stomach as he lay back , propping himself on his elbows , watching you nervously as you undid his damp jeans .

He lifted his hips as you pulled his jeans with his jocks down his thighs , letting his cock spring up to his stomach .

You immediately grabbed his base and looked up at him as you closed in to his crotch . He was breathy rapidly, his eyebrows furrowed tight in desperation.

"ah fuckk" his head dropped back and his face scrunched up for a second as you licked the underpart of his tip , pressing your flattened out tongue against it .

His whole body was tensed and his hands grabbed your hair messily to ground himself.

You ran you tongue between his shaft and licked up the back of his cock from the base , watching him whine and whince .

You finally wrapped your lips around his tip and sucked your cheeks in as you went down further on his length.

"fuck- oh shit" Jake whimpered as you went deep enough to gag on his cock , you started bobbing your head once your throat adjusted to his size , making him start to moan out sinful sounds.

You loved the sounds he was making, you could feel your panties soaking. You squeezed your legs together in hopes of some friction.

"stop!" He whined almost pushing you off him, making you immediately stop .

"what's wrong?" You ask in worry as you looked up at him . His legs slightly trembling as you slowly pumped his base .

"I don't wanna cum just yet" he sat up again and pulled you up to his face with the grip he had on your hair , meeting his lips with yours in a messy kiss before turning you over to lie on your back .

He tugged his jeans down his leg and threw them away before he crawled down to your stomach and lifted you tshirt up slightly, planting open mouth kisses around your waist .

You took your wet top off and watched his eyes go black and wide as he stared at your breasts while you unclipped your bra .

"shit" he muttered to himself placing kissing up your stomach going up between your breasts, his hands cupping them as he gently rubbed his thumbs over the nipples , making you whine .

"so pretty" Jake murmured as he sucked on your breast making you arch into his face , holding his head and pulling on his almost-dry locks .

You felt his hand cup your clothed heat making you thrust up for some friction , letting out a desperate sigh .

He smiled slyly at how desperate you were as he crawled back down to give you want you wanted .

He took your shorts off and you desperately helped him . He threw your clothes off the bed leaving the both of you fully naked.

His eyes fixed at the wetness between your legs as he made himself comfortable between them , wrapping his arms around your thighs and throwing your legs over his shoulders.

He kissed you folds before stuffing his face between them and lapping at them , sucking at your nervous bundle and moving his tongue in circles . You were screaming his name and thrusting up into his face , pulling his hair and closing your legs on him .

"Fuck! Jacob-!" You gasped when he slipped his finger into your hole , curling it up at your gspot perfectly.

He nibbled on your clit slightly making you almost loose it as he continued to fuck you with his fingers.

"Fuck don't stop Jake! Right there!" You yell in desperation. Feeling a tight knot in your stomach as you came to the edge of your relief.

You screamed louder as if you were in pain when he slipped two of his fingers inside you , stretching you out carefully before scissoring them side you and curling up at your gspot . Switching between the movements in a steady pace while working his tongue on your clit .

You let out a couple more cusses and moans before you squirt on his fingers, he lapped you up and licked his fingers , kissing your folds and riding out your orgasm as you spasmed under him .

"fuck where did you learn that?" You ask in breathlessly . In all the years you knew Jake , you never knew he was this good at sex . All this time you'd been wanting someone to treat you right when you had jake right under your nose .

Jake shrugged with a proud smile , coming back to your face to kiss you . A hint of his smile still lingering on his mouth as you tasted yourself off his lips .

"I need you y|n" Jake mumbled , grinding his boner against your thighs as he kissed you .

"fuck me Jacob" you whimper in his mouth . You could only imagine Jake satisfying the painful ache you were feeling. Sex with other guys was different. It was like you were putting on a show for eachother.

But it Jake it was different, it was so intense and intimate. You needed him , you needed to know how he could make you feel , you needed to know the face he made as he fucked the shit out of you and the sounds he made when he came undone .

He sat up slightly, desperately spreading your legs over his shoulders for him . You watched as he aligned his tip to your entrance, glancing up at you for a second before rubbing his cock through your sensitive wet folds.

His hips thrusting into your folds as he watched you squirm , coating his cock with your arousal. He was panting and sweating, his hands still shaking slightly with overwhelm , his eyes staring at where your bodies met .

"please" you breathe out , not being able to take it anymore. He looked up at you , his gaze making your limbs weak .

He pulled back and aligned himself with your hole , pushing himself right in with one hard thrust , making you scream and arch up .

He grabbed your waist to hold you in place as he began slamming hard Into you . You dug your heels into his ribcage , the position he had you had his cock hitting just the right places.

"jake- don't stop! Fuck!" You scream , pulling on the bedsheets or whatever was in your reach.

Jake had his mouth hanging open , letting out high rapid pants , his eyes rolling back as he tried to keep eye contact with you.

He let go of your waist, wrapping his arms around you instead, his face burying into your chest as he thrusted harder .

You were screaming his name as you lost all feeling in your legs and the desperation in your core vibrated through you. The sound of his wet skin slapping against yours and the sinful sounds that came out your mouths was all that could be heard.

"fuck- fuck! Y|n I'm so close!" Jake whined , his pace slowed but his thrusts still strong. You could feel him pulsating inside you and it made you shudder .

You couldn't speak to tell him you were almost there too , all that left your mouth was sinful wails of pleasure.

"please- y|nnn" Jake whined you could feel he was using everything in him to hold back his release for you .

Just like that you felt your orgasm shoot over you , spasming and screaming out Jake's name as you came . Jake groaned loudly as he came with you, his liquids seeping down your thighs as he slowly rode out his high.

The both of you were out of breath , eyes half lidded and covered in sweat as he pulled out of you.

"do you wanna date me?" You spit out, still gasping for breath .

He immediately looked at you like a dog hearing their favourite word .

"do you?" He asked , like having sex with him 3 seconds ago wasn't an obvious answer.

You nodded confidently with smile creeping up your face , tucking his hair behind his ears .

Jake let out a sound which sounded like a cry of relief as he charged into your embrace

[karniss-bg3]

What do you think Kar'niss would do if he survives the death of the Absolute and all? With everything over and we'll say that he is by Tav's side until the end as well. Would he worship Tav as another kind of god/goddess, or... something else?

Hm this is an interesting question because there are so many variables at play. With the way Larian has structured the game it seems like all companions have the ability to shift toward good or evil. Of course I've not done a playthrough with Karlach, Wyll and Laezel in my party from start to finish but it's in the works. I know they can dip if Tav pisses them off too much but for the sake of ease, I'll just assume basic good versus evil. Act 3 spoilers head.

Good Ending: At first Kar'niss would've been very hesitant to join Tav and friends, likely even violent. It'd probably take a high persuasion roll to get him into your party. Tav just destroyed those he was loyal to, after all. The artifact could do well to block the tadpoles influence but Kar'niss' shattered mind is a different kettle of fish entirely. I imagine the first interactions with him would be aggressive and stand-offish. After all he was just ripped away from his new home and lost his "Queen". He's likely feeling disjointed, scared and a bit lonely without "Her" voice to bring him comfort. It'll be up to Tav to replace the Absolute's voice with their own. Not only that, but Tav could give Kar'niss healthy love and attention, help break through those years of abuse and build his confidence. It would be slow going because he has so little self worth and trust.

Then there is the matter of him being a drider. I don't think Kar'niss would want to stay in that shape, he likely longs to be a full drow again. That begs the question, does Tav find a way to transform him back or let him stay a drider? Since Tav controls the narrative it'll be up to them on if he switches back. To my knowledge the only way to undo a drider transformation is a wish spell which does exist in the BG3 universe. There could be other ways if Larian wanted to keep it simple but assuming Tav somehow finds someone with a spare wish spell then perhaps that is how he is changed back.

At the end, if Tav works toward this goal, Kar'niss would find more of his own voice. His confidence would grow and he'd learn to stand on his own rather than mindlessly following others at the drop of a hat. He'd be able to think critically and make choices not influenced by whispers in his ear. In other words, he'll -choose- to stay with Tav rather than feel he's obligated to. I don't think his mind will ever fully heal, it's taken too much damage to come back from the torture he's been through. Tav helps keep him grounded though, working with his short comings rather than against it. If Tav romances him then Kar'niss laments in the final cutscene: "When you found us--me, I was in a fog. My body moved as if controlled by magic, but I was not the one commanding it to do so. From the Underdark to Moonrise I played a pawn for the sake of someone else's power. I thought I was doing the right thing, I believed it in the very depths of my heart. They would've condemned me to death and, mind controlled as I was, I would've marched into the sword with my head held high. Not only do I owe my life, I owe my very mind to your aid. I was nearly forever lost, thank you for seeing more in me than an irredeemable monster. I want to remain by your side anywhere the winds take us. I love you."

Bad Ending: While not requested I figured I’d write it up for the sake of curiosity. It starts very similarly except Tav uses their tadpole to overwhelm Kar'niss with authority. Tav may even convince Kar'niss that they are the physical embodiment of the Absolute to keep his compliance throughout. Kar’niss is more agreeable at the start due to this, devout and eagerly awaiting commands. The more Tav chooses to cater to his psychosis rather than break him from it he becomes even more unhinged overtime. There may even be exchanges where Kar’niss seems to talk to himself and ignore Tav completely from time to time. He’s lost to the voices in his mind and the fervent beliefs that have followed him for sometime. When he does have moments of clarity his focus is on doing the Absolute’s will. It’s an obsession and he seems to want to talk about little else. Tav could romance Kar’niss during this time but something may feel off about the interaction. Kar’niss will worship Tav, do anything that is asked, but there is a sense that he is doing so out of blind devotion rather than true affection. It’s empty. His love is tainted by a belief and trust born from deception.

As their journey nears its end, Kar’niss’ mental state has declined to a point where his speech breaks in the middle of conversations. He may zone out and some of his party interactions out in the wild could cease altogether. He’ll refer to Tav as “Majesty” and little else. The perfect obedient pet. Assuming Tav goes with the ending to destroy the Absolute then that fogs up Kar’niss’ fate a bit. I don’t think the other endings allow a romance cutscene to play at the end but I could be wrong. I haven’t tackled them all just yet so I’ll stick with the tadpole annihilation ending here. Even though the tadpoles are gone Kar’niss’ mind is well and truly fucked. Any sense of self has been all but destroyed, leaving nothing behind but a temperamental fanatic in a worse state than Tav found him in. Any use of the word ‘I’ to refer to himself has dropped from his speech completely.

“Majesty, w-we survived. Have we done well? Our devotion is unending for you. Tell us where we shall go and it will be done. We have never known such bliss, such comfort. Our pledge to you will never falter so long as we still draw breath. You need more followers, an army fit for a God/Goddess, and we will provide it Majesty. Just...don’t forget about us. We are still your favorite, yes we are...no one else can love you like us. NO ONE ELSE! Our love for you knows no limits, we will give you everything you desire. We are ready to march by your side, to the ends of the world.”

These are just two of MANY possible outcomes for poor Kar’niss. I think Larian would make his bad ending tenfold worse than I could ever conceive and that will haunt my nightmares for sometime.

Sorry this is so long, my mind wouldn’t shut up. I hope this answers your question. Thanks for the ask!

[olderthannetfic]

I know fandom people are, as a general rule, intense and often neurodivergent, I know I am, but wow. Let people like things and just block if you hate their take so much. My block list is massive on tumblr, discord, and it's getting longer and longer on AO3. I highly recommend it, it makes my life far more peaceful.

I hate how this one person I'm in like 4 servers with sees pretty much everything. Her takes are some of my least favourite I've ever seen in fandom period, and I find her obnoxious as hell on a personal level. So I just don't interact. She's literally not hurting me by having a good time writing her little fics and talking about the characters how she sees them. And she's not wrong either??? We're different people, from different counties, different ages, and have totally different experiences. Her interpretation and takes are right to her, no matter how much I hate them. Just like mine are right to me. We can both have fun even if we're basically polar opposites

So many problems could be solved if people just stop giving a fuck what someone else has fun writing or doing when they're not hurting someone else. Like yeah it's annoying to be in a fandom where there's pages of coffee shop AU's or whatever, but at the end of the day, the people writing it are having fun and using fandom as an escape. Good for them.

I do get being pissed off and rant, and likewise know some fandoms are 'worse' than others, and that things in fandom come in waves. I've just noticed an uptick on people being, frankly, downright cruel because there's a fic they don't like updating frequently, or people in a server talking about a character in a way they don't agree with. It's annoying for sure, but it's just people having fun. Bitch in private like everyone else (or shout here I suppose lol).

If your fandom experience is genuinely ruined and your daily life is negatively impacted because some random person is enjoying it in a way you don't like, or writing the characters in a way you don't agree with, go touch grass. And before someone yells at me, I mean RUINED. I get annoyed all the time, that's just a part of it. I mean if someone's literally seething and their life in and out of fandom is effected by some random person having fun? It's time for a break

--

[eoieopda]

For the drabblepallooza :D

Hoseok:

hannah, this song 😩🥹 i hope i did it justice!

oh, you kissed me just to kiss me / not to make me cry / it was simple, you are sweetness / let’s just sit a while

2024 ETA: long after this was written, the user who requested this drabble admitted that they were a minor masquerading as an adult, violating my explicitly stated boundaries re: minors being prohibited from interacting with me and my content. this user has since been blocked.

It was a test - albeit an unfair one - but it was necessary. You were becoming comfortable and if your life had taught you even one (1) thing, it was this: the other shoe will always drop; and when it inevitably does, it’ll hit you square in your unsuspecting face.

Constant vigilance, or whatever. Sleep with one eye open. Hell, maybe two.

You weren’t sure what you’d done in a past life - what cursed mirror you shattered, or which witch you pissed off - but you didn’t get to be happy. Happy was for other people. Fate took your pretty, golden string and dragged it through the mud. You were polluted; you were sure of it.

But then Hoseok sprung up so unexpectedly like a daisy blooming through a crack in a city sidewalk. It was shocking, made you do a double take to prove you weren’t seeing things. Even worse, it made you hope. You were concrete, busted and so stubborn, and he was sweet. As much as you wanted to, you didn’t know how to trust that.

It had to be a ruse. Some long con - right?

Life lesson number two (2) was that no 2:00 AM text goes unpunished. You’d only ever been on the receiving end - in more ways than one - and it always ended up the same way: with you slumped on your couch with your best friend; you shoveling handfuls of dry cereal into your gaping maw; you ugly crying.

You couldn’t get a read on him, despite the month you’d been seeing each other. Was he the kind of person that would even be awake to receive your invitation? If he was, what would he make of it? And if he did show up on your doorstep, what then?

As usual, you got bored halfway into thinking it through. There was only one way to find out.

[02:03 AM]: Come over? 👉🏻👈🏻

Once you’d rigged the bomb that would blow you sky-high, all you could do was wait. You sat on your couch and faced the television you still hadn’t turned on, but your restless eyes kept darting down to the phone in your lap.

No matter how many times you tapped its screen to wake it, you couldn’t make a notification appear. All you accomplished with this course of action was repeated, glaring, minute-by-minute reminders that this whole thing was stupid.

At 2:39 AM, you accepted defeat. Hoseok was a hard-worker and an early-riser; it only made sense that he went to bed when respectable adults did. You should’ve been glad that you hadn’t ruined his good night’s sleep.

You were halfway back to your bedroom when a quiet knock stopped you dead in your tracks. Body still frozen, you tilted your head to stare incredulously at the door.

It worked? Fuck! Now what?

It took several seconds to convince your feet to move. When they finally did, the sound echoing through your apartment wasn’t that of bare soles on hardwood. Instead of muffled footsteps, you heard your brain repeating one word rhythmically, over and over, with each step: idiot, idiot, idiot.

You weren’t sure what you expected when you opened the door. Perhaps it was Hoseok, standing there like a fuck-boy with a condom wrapper clenched between his teeth. Maybe instead of a condom, it’d be a rewards card that he could redeem for a free coffee once your hole was punched. Or maybe he’d be naked, concealing his naughty bits with a sign that said I’m going to ruin your life!

Whatever horrible thing you could’ve imagined, it wasn’t what you got: Hoseok and his cold-bitten cheeks, wearing a big, flannel scarf and the sleepiest fucking smile you’d ever seen. He quirked an eyebrow at your shocked expression, but he didn’t ask after it.

He simply raised a white, styrofoam to-go box, and said, “Sorry it took so long. I stopped at that late-night pizza joint by my place. You wouldn’t believe that line.”

Dumbstruck, you accepted the box from him and stepped aside to allow him in. He kicked off his shoes, then tossed his coat and scarf onto the nearby coat rack. But then he kept moving, talking all the while, without noticing the sparks flying off your broken brain.

“Seriously, it wrapped around the entire block. As bad as it sounds, I’m kind of glad you weren’t with me this time,” he snickered as he dumped himself onto your couch. He threw you a wink you weren’t prepared to catch, “I don’t know if I could’ve stood there for twenty minutes while wearing you like a back-pack.”

Your face scrunched up. For the first time, actual words clambered out of your slack-jawed mouth, “Hey! I’m perfectly capable of waiting in a line!”

His brows furrowed above twinkling eyes. There was no point in arguing; you both knew you were full of shit. Right on cue, a montage started playing in your mind. It chronicled every single time you whined for a piggyback ride -

Spoiler alert: The total was somewhere between 12 and 20.

- because your legs were tired, or your shoes were giving you blisters, or because you were a dumb baby who needed to be held, or because maybe you were starting to lo- Nope, stop right there.

“Okay, fine, I’m not,” you conceded with a sigh as you joined him. Looking down at the pizza box - which was miraculously still warm despite his cold walk here - you bit down on your bottom lip.

He saw your shy silence and raised you a gentle nudge with his shoulder.

“You were sleeping,” you eventually whispered. Declaratory, not inquisitive because you woke him up, you menace.

Hoseok was so visibly confused by your uncharacteristic quietness, “Yes? And now I’m not.”

You were already melting into a puddle under that sunshine in his eyes, but he nevertheless persisted:

“You always get hungry this late. Was I supposed to let you starve?”

Your knees were wobbling even though your ass was firmly planted on that cushion, “That’s why you’re here?”

“I mean, I also missed you,” his bemused laughter carried you off like a breeze, “But keeping you fed is priority number one - for national security purposes, obviously. You get so cranky when you’re hungry.”

You were not going to cry, you adamantly refused, but your eyes got a little blurry when that giggle flew out of you. You kept giggling, too, until his cold hand cupped your cheek.

Then he kissed you and it was cotton candy, so sugary sweet in the way it melted in your mouth. You waited for him to pull you into his lap, to deepen the kiss, for that other shoe to collide with the top of your thick skull.

But he stopped.

He tucked you under his arm.

He smiled as he held a piece of pizza up to your buzzing lips, and he chuckled when you finally took the bite he offered.

[kookygobbledygook]

Okay, I am about to piss off both sides of the debate.

I believe Cassandra shouldn't be articulate.

On one hand, yes, Cassandra Cain is infantalised by the fandom and that is in part due to her start in comics with being non-verbal and neuroatypical due to David Cain's training. It is rooted in ablism, racism and misogyny.

HOWEVER, as not only a person who has worked for over a decade in group homes for disabled people, but as a neuroatypical woman who grew up with multiple speech impediment, a stutter, and who had to do so much speech therapy as a kid that it ironed out my Australian accent, I hate that the discourse seems to be divided down the line of non-verbal, illiterate Cass is infantilising and verbal, literate Cass is empowered.

When you work in disability you soon learn there is a wide canyon between having an intellectual disability and being stupid. I have worked with dozens of people with intellectual disabilities over the years. None of them had been stupid. The most significantly disabled person I worked with never learnt to talk, needed help feeding himself, with personal care and almost all aspects of his daily life. He was also stubborn, cheeky, funny, impatient, enthusiastic about life, and had the best bullshit meter on the planet. He knew if you were there to help him or if you weren't worthy of his trust and that trust was hard earned. He was a fully fleshed-out, complete, adult man, with likes and interest and opinions which he couldexpressvery clearly. He passed away a few years ago and I miss him daily.

And he wasn't stupid. You see what I'm getting at?

So to loop back around to Cass, it annoys me that some people seem to think that Cass needs to be as articulate as an average person or write and read at the same level as her peers, to have her character progress. Why can't she improve and these areas still be a struggle for her? Why can't she be a bit underdeveloped in these areas not matter how hard she tries? To me it's like how there are people who learn as second language and are easily fluent, while there are other who will always struggle with articles, or tenses or the order of words or the use of plurals. That's not a sign of intelligence, why should it be that way in Cass' case?

I know people have shown examples of Cass speaking in lengthy sentences in the comics as evidence that Cass is articulate now and... yeah? But I kind of hate it? To me it's like the writers have given up on trying to depict what someone who struggles with language sounds like and have just ignored it, and treated Cass' dialogue like anyone else's. It makes her a flatter character imo.

One of the reasons I was drawn to Cass as a character was because she was so unlike me in many respects but in others so similar. The difficulty in articulating myself was a big one. And I hate that's been slowly wittled away by the writers at DC and now the fandom.

I still have a stutter. It's not a typical st-st-stutter. My brain blocks of the word before I even start to say it. But most people don't notice because on a completely subconscious level I search out synonyms. It's weird because if you got me to read out of a book, I would end up saying different words to what are written down, but they would still mean the same thing. And I don't even notice I'm doing it! Brains are weird. They compensate.

BUT I still have a stutter. Just because I work around it, and just because it's invisible in most situations doesn't mean it's not there.

We rail against other media when they find a magic cure to someone's disability. Hell I remember the outcry when DC decided to get Bab's out of the wheelchair. But because Cass' disability is invisible and more complicated to convey, we seem fine with it being watered down and framing that as character progression.

I want to see a Cass who is disabled and also an adult:

A Cass in speaks as much as she can in short clipped monosyllabic sentences because it's easier for her

A Cass who uses gestures and face expressions more often if she can

A Cass who struggles to find the right term sometimes and comes up with something left-of-field like people who have english as a second language calling a slug a "snail with no home" or calling raisins "elderly grapes"

A Cass who takes photos of crime scenes instead of writing down clues

A Cass who listens to audiobooks because physically reading is so much effort it takes the joy out of the story

A Cass who uses voice-to-text on her phone, but if she does resort to physically texting, she uses emojis

A Cass who struggles to hold down a typical job, and knows she's not built for university despite her intelligence because the type of intelligence she has is not valued or accommodated for

A Cass that leans more into the vigilante side of her life because this is the area that she is undisputedly a genius and where she doesn't feel as vulnerable

A Cass and a Babs who love each other but get into conflict because Babs does value the more typical hallmarks of intelligence as a computer genius librarian

A Cass who struggles with bills and banking and paperwork because it's deliberately set up to be labyrinthine to people who don't struggle with reading and writing. What chance does she have?

A Cass who not only has to deal with ablism but the intersection of ablism and racism as well as ablism and misogyny

A Cass who needs help with this stuff but is too afraid to ask for it because she's worried she'd be judged or looked down on or patronised

A Cass who IS judged or looked down on or patronised - even by people close to her, because even people we love have internalised ablism

A Cass who, in spite of being quiet is not stoic or shy, but acts the way she actually is. Funny, sharp, cheeky, cheerful, feral and kind. It's just her words are carefully selected precision strikes that can take down the other Bats in a single word.

That's the Cassandra Cain I want to see. And unfortunately I don't think I will, even in regular DC comics or in fandom spaces.

Because the idea that someone can struggle with developmental disability and also be smart is too much for people to wrap their heads around

[deadgirlwalking91]

what would have happened if Lucifer met Adam and Lute down in hell??

a lil fic of how i imagine it, hope u like it! it’s my first so ya…

"for fuck's sake" Adam muttered quite pissed off.

no matter how much they were scolded, punished or how many extra exercises Lute gave them, it wasn't the first time it happened and it wouldn't be the last,

most exorcists always left their damn weapons down in hell. And then it was the commander and lieutenant's job to deal with them the next day, as if they hadn't participated in the extermination and weren't already exhausted from their own.

Adam positioned the set of weapons he had managed to recover and then threw them inside a portal that led to the warehouse, turning to observe the situation, he sees Lute doing the same and goes back continuing his own.

despite this, he felt that something was wrong, it was like a gut feeling, and he didn't have time to react that he heard a light poof behind him, his eyes widened the moment he realized who it was

he turned facing the figure before him, frowning and squinting

"I see you're busy" said lucifer, looking at adam with an impassive gaze, but seeing the agitation of the angel before him he looked at him with genuine confusion

"What the fuck are you doing here?. I'm pretty sure we said the meeting will be in a week, fuckhead"

he looked him straight in the eyes, as if daring him to look away, and this made Lucifer even more suspicious

“oh yea, about that i-“

"is everything alright, sir ?"

Lucifer was surprised when he turned around to find a female figure in front of him, an impassive hatred could be perceived looking into those golden eyes of hers. she was a tall girl, well taller than him for sure, with beautiful short white/silver hair.

The fallen angel found himself even more confused when he figured out that she was one of the exorcists angels

"and you are..?" Lucifer offered, curious of the angel before his eyes

"Lute, lieutenant of the angelic army and Adam's right hand, we finally meet your highness."

those last syllables were said with pure hatred and disapproval

Lucifer disappeared in another cloud of smoke, then appeared before Lute, jst some inches away from the angel, studying her, Lute stood in place, staring at him with daring eyes

glancing back ad Adam, he could see his mask glitching.

"yea- no” Adam flew to land in front of Lute, separating her from the devil. He spread his wings behind his back in an intimidating manner, blocking Lute from view.

“Lute leave it to me , go back to heaven"

"But sir!-“ Lute challenged Adam with determination, Adam didn’t let Lute finish her sentence.

“did i stutter, Lieutenant? i don’t like repeating myself. Leave it to me. it’s an order”

Lute stared at him, but obeyed. she had to obey. Disagreeing with her boss happened plenty times, yea, but not in front of him.

As much as she wanted to, she had to obey "yes sir, sorry, sir”

she took one last look at lucifer before entering a portal.

___

“Lute huh? I see we're still sentimental with memories of eden aren’t we?”

he teased

“yea not your fuckin business. bitch.”

“yk. I didn't expect someone like her could be your type of woman..so demanding”

“oh for fuck’s sake. get the fuck out of here-“

“how come i’ve never met her? afraid of little me, Adam?”

He saw his mask glitch again in fury , that was going to be a long talk

Hey Anon!

You did great! <3

I love! Lucifer is such a little shit haha.

I can definitely see Adam wanting to keep Lute from him at all costs...

[plnkdemon]

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MOMENT, MIGHT ALLOW MYSELF A SMILE

lucifer x gn!mc getting married tw/cw: food/eating (brief), self-indulgent ngl, terrible writing, no beta we die like mc. please let me know if anything is missing.

the way that lucifer would lose his head without you on your wedding day…

obviously, everything needs to be perfect. just like with his paperwork that he meticulously sorts into files, stacks, and drawers with each document’s location memorized, he has an entire scrapbook dedicated to just the catering. don’t bother trying to convince him that it’s unnecessary, the monotony of sorting and labeling soothes him and helps him get out his nervous energy.

the staff are scared shitless (it’s an unspoken rule to bring an extra pair of slacks in case they literally piss themselves, because it has happened before). they’re speed-walking around the venue with a protractor, measuring every drape, flower, and tablecloth to make sure nothing is even a millimeter off. you walk in and immediately the room is filled with the sound of exhales because lucifer’s tension — and therefore, his strictness — evaporates the second you smile at him. you will most definitely find yourself comforting at least one sobbing staff member in each stall of the bathroom over the course of preparations.

lucifer almost entirely takes over the tailor’s job when you’re at your dress/suit fitting. it’s a little cute when he balks at the idea of a wedding being cursed if you see each other in your wedding attire before the ceremony. “darling, a curse would run the other way once it sees me.” (dramatic bitch, wipe that cocky look off your face.)

he takes over a week to decide what tie to wear and you don’t even know how long it took for him to settle on a suit, since he promptly pulled out three completed wedding planners after you said yes. clearly, this has been keeping him awake at night before you even discussed the possibility of marriage.

he actually went out and manually extracted the gem he wanted for your ring from the ground because he read far too many articles on blood diamonds and slave labor and… he honestly fell down a rabbit hole of human history. the conclusion is: by golly if these humans won’t do it right then i must. he’ll probably won’t tell you this story for a good while into the marriage though because at the time, he’d told you it was just a business trip — wanting to keep it a surprise and all — and then just genuinely forgot that he never said anything.

you will have to physically restrain him from writing the best man’s speech for mammon. on the day of the ceremony though, it’s well worth it because the second-born had spent so long working on it and getting critiqued and edits from asmo and satan that the result is so perfect it ought to be framed in a museum (besides the fact that he tried to sell the flashcards his speech was written on on akuzon during y’all’s honeymoon).

lucifer goes to so much effort to accommodate all of his brothers though, it’s heart-wrenching. mammon is sat at the only seat with solid gold utensils and promised that he can keep them if he doesn’t try to pickpocket from any of the guests. leviathan is allowed to pick beforehand where he’ll be sat so that he won’t have to be too close to the band that it overstimulates him or the dance floor where someone might bump him and everyone else at his table are people he’s comfortable with (and under his seat are magically noise-blocking ear plugs in case he needs a break from the ruckus and wants to take a break in the other room). satan is appointed as his second-in-command, because despite their differences, he doesn’t trust the other brother’s enough to make sure things are up to his standard in case lucifer himself isn’t there (and the trust isn’t misplaced, satan single-handedly managed each and every conflict no matter how small with the utmost care, precision, and covert manner). asmo is trusted with both the rings, the clothes, and is allowed to design and coordinate both of bridesmaids/groomsmen/wedding mates outfits, hair, and makeup, and he does so flawlessly. beel is given his own personal catering team, which is prepared with about as much food as all of the other guests’ meals combined and he personally tastetested each dish during the planning to ensure that only the best was on the menu. belphie, similarly to levi, is allowed at any time to go to the other room should he feel his social battery is dead or if he just needs a power nap and even though he’s the exact opposite of strict, he’s very perceptive, so when he overhears something or sees something off, he lets satan know so he can take care of it (belphie was actually the only one to notice that a few bees had snuck in to try and pollenate with the flower decorations because the buzzing kept him from falling asleep).

diavolo is absolutely losing his fucking grip on reality but in the opposite direction of lucifer. the prince is so fucking excited he can’t stop grinning the whole day and his face hurts so so much, but he won’t utter a peep in the way of complaint. he’s more than willing to follow all of lucifer’s guidelines to a T (with help from barbatos) because luci is letting him help!!!!! he’s far too excited about straightening guest name markers and greeting the guests at the door.

barbatos is, as usual, cool as a cucumber but anyone who knows him can tell his polite smile is a bit bigger and for once he’s content to be a normal guest, only stepping in to help should he see an issue he can handle with extreme discretion.

the angels are both very happy for you both and luke has more trouble than normal trying to disguise his true feelings with a facade of disapproval for your marriage partner. much to lucifer’s chagrin, simeon is the officiant, writing special vows and a pronouncement that brings many to tears (especially dia).

solomon — again, to lucifer’s dismay — walks you down the isle, handing you off to your fiancé. although he may not like it, lucifer can understand that solomon, being your mentor, teacher, guide, friend, and fellow human, is best suited to give you away and if it makes you happy? then, damn it! you’re sure as hell gonna get it!

the wedding, despite everyone’s best efforts, still has a few hiccups: belphie drooled a bit on the tablecloth, beel was shocked in horror when you shove a slice of cake in lucifer’s face (your husband was too), and solomon somehow snuck a dish of… something onto the banquet table. but nevertheless, your wedding was perfect, and lucifer wouldn’t change a damn thing. every time he sees the light glint off his ring or you lean on the hand bearing his gem, his heart skips a beat remembering seeing you walk up the isle, say “i do,” and swear to love him for the rest of your life.

he doesn’t keep your marriage certificate with the rest of his important documents. instead, he preserves the paper with magic to ensure it will never fade or wrinkle and your signature will last until his vision starts to fail him, and then, he’ll still be able to trace his fingers over the groves of your name.

maybe it seems a little silly to the noble demons of the devildom to marry a human that won’t live a fraction of his own lifespan… and maybe it is, but lucifer’s okay with being a little silly as long as it’s for you and it will make you smile. the devildom is dark and cold and he’s long since forgotten what it felt like to live in soft embrace of the sun. your smile is far better at warming his cold heart than heaven ever was though. “the grinch’s heart grew three sizes that day,” you’d say, and he wouldn’t get it but that doesn’t matter to him in the slightest, because it’s true.

[undead-discourse]

Hey!! Are you a proshipper? Are you an anti? Please read this post, I want engagement from as many people of as many different opinions as possible!

I have a question that I made a temporary sideblog for because I’ve gotten completely different answers depending on who I ask this question (pro vs anti ship)

I fundamentally disagree with a lot of the “talking points” on either side, so I’m not really sure which camp I fit into (and the one I’m assigned usually changes to the opposite of whoever I’m talking to). So I thought it’d be really interesting to see what people have to say about this. I dunno, I like talking, and discussing media. Talk to me about media.

I’ve sorted these into two sections: opinions usually grouped with “proshippers” and opinions usually grouped with “antis.”

Proship Opinions:

Censorship is bad.

We should not censor the internet and banning legal content here is fruitless. It just doesn’t work, and it takes away efforts from restricting actually harmful content.

Harassment is also bad.

Even when the person being harassed is objectively disgusting and vile.

There is never any excuse to tell someone to kill themself. This feels so obvious, why are we even arguing this.

Restricting the content allowed on some sites (AO3) is kinda stupid.

FF.net and Wattpad are living examples of what happens when you restrict written content: it still gets in, but this time completely untagged and with no warning.

I hate AO3’s current policy and I don’t use the site because of that, but the alternative is so much worse, especially considering they can’t afford the extensive mod team that would require.

Just use the block button.

Getting all bent out of shape in someone’s askbox because of their content is completely pointless. You just exhaust yourself and waste your own energy thinking about this person when they definitely don’t give a fuck what you, some bitch on the internet, think of their content.

The easiest solution for your own wellbeing is just to block them and move on. Then you can never think about them again.

Fictional content is never the same as the real thing, and it’s insulting to survivors to insinuate it is.

No children are harmed by the creation of fictional content. Comparing it to real CP is a slap in the face to real survivors.

The concept of “problematic content” being bad by design is kinda dumb.

There are ways to handle anything in fiction tastefully. Your story can cover topics of sexual abuse, murder, exploitation, etc. without being “problematic.”

The reason for the content’s creation and posting greatly changes how it should be viewed and how the creator should be treated.

I’m reminded of Alfred’s Playhouse. It’s so obviously a cry for help, but everyone ignored it because of the gross and shocking subject matter shown. The creator is a disgusting person, but that is unrelated to her creation of Alfred’s Playhouse, a representation of her own real experiences.

It’s… So obvious to me when someone is suffering and using art to vent or call for help. These people aren’t the people we should be talking about when we discuss the handling of sensitive topics in fiction.

Anti Opinions:

The things you create/enjoy completely change the way I view you as a person, fundamentally.

I don’t think you can be a good person and enjoy thinking about fictional children being molested.

I cut people off if I find out they secretly enjoy this content.

Including ex-friends. It hurts and I feel betrayed, but I was not friends with, nor will I ever be friends with, someone who enjoys (whatever).

I think people deserve to know if one of their favorite artists is secretly into something reprehensible.

If a big artist I like had a secret twitter where they posted incest porn, I would be pissed if someone who knew didn’t tell me.

AO3 sucks.

Specifically because of their policy on RPF in reference to (underage) streamers. If someone requests that the NSFW content featuring them be deleted, AO3 should delete it. If someone goes to AO3 and requests they take down a specific fic about them, AO3 should delete it. But they didn’t, and they don’t. So I don’t use AO3.

“Problematic content” should be criticized when it is handled in offensive ways.

There are ways to handle topics such as child abuse, sexual exploitation, etc. tastefully and respectfully to victims, but when creators fail to do this, they deserve to have their treatment of the subject pointed out.

SEE MY ABOVE POINT ABOUT CREATORS WHO ARE SUFFERING, vent art does not fucking count and pointing out the way someone handles their own real experiences in their vent art makes you an asshole.

Proshipping as I’ve seen it looks like such an unhealthy coping mechanism.

To my knowledge, “shipping” means that you enjoy the dynamic between two (or more) characters, typically in a romantic or sexual way. Enjoying the romantic or sexual dynamic between a minor and an adult you headcanon to be grooming them is… So beyond fucked.

This is 100% not my business and I’m never gonna tell someone this, but it’s an opinion I personally hold that I’ve seen attached to antis before.

[bellaxgiornata]

Hi...do you have any suggestions for a beginner fanfic writer?? Maybe some tips?? Love your work btw....i absolutely love your falling for the devil series

Ahhh, thank you so much!! 💖I'm glad you enjoy FFTD!! That series also tends to be my favorite of everything I've written, too. There's just something about FFTD Matty...

I could certainly give you some tips/suggestions that I've learned along the way! I've been writing and reading fanfic since 2005 so I've been around for a bit 😅 Though if there is something more specific that I didn't address--like something more specific with writing or editing or something--you (or anyone else who's curious) can certainly always send me an ask and I will always answer when I have a few minutes! But I'm not going to claim I'm remotely an expert on all of this, either. This is just from my experience and talking with other fic writers.

As always, the answer is below the cut!

First, I think it's always important to keep in mind that the more you write, the better your skill will grow with writing. Which goes for everyone, no matter how long you've been writing for or whatever your age is. I always see an improvement in my writing when I read something from even just a few months ago. And I even cringe at things like the very first Matt fic I wrote or even some early FFTD installments. So don't be too hard on yourself!

I think it's also important to remember to not compare yourself to others. We all have different styles and voices and that's a wonderful thing in writing. If everyone wrote the same or had the same ideas, there'd be nothing interesting to read. Everything would sound the same which would be boring. Personally, I didn't find my writing style/voice and grow comfortable with it until almost a year and a half ago when I started writing for the Daredevil fandom, so it's completely okay if you are still searching for yours.

Don't let any negative comments you might ever receive writing fanfic drag you down. Everyone gets them, and some fandoms have different dynamics than others where it may happen more often than in another one (though come on y'all, can we please practice the don't like don't read rule??). I think anyone who writes fanfic long enough will receive at least some hate. I've certainly gotten plenty over the years, and yes, it sucks and it can hurt or piss you off, but you have to remember to brush it off. There are likely many others enjoying your story to make up for that one person who's being rude. Block buttons can be your friend if you need them.

If you're having trouble writing a character that already exists in the fandom, studying them in the source material is always a good route. The amount of times I've gone and re-watched Daredevil, Punisher, or Kin in order to feel like I capture any of the characters in there just right is absurd, but it really does help to see their mannerisms, speech patterns, and to begin to get a feel of how they'd react in different situations based on how they've reacted in the show.

Lastly, when you write chapters for your fics and it begins to feel daunting, know that you can always break things down into more manageable chunks. I used to struggle to write much at a time until I learned to focus on the story in this way as opposed to focusing on everything that I still needed to make happen. Just focus scene by scene or even line by line. How to get Character A to do this or get to that point, for example, and it should hopefully seem significantly less terrifying. If you try to think of everything that needs to happen in a chapter all at once, it might begin to feel overwhelming and you may have the urge to give up. Try breaking things down and focusing on one thing at a time.

I could absolutely go on but I don't want to ramble! If there's something more specific you're curious about that I didn't touch on, or maybe you'd like more detail about, absolutely feel free to send me another ask! And this goes for anyone who made it through all of this! I always love chatting, sometimes it just takes me a moment to have time to sit down and answer. Hopefully any of this was useful/helpful though! I am always happy to help encourage others to write!!💕

[kayjaydee17]

The disclaimers that are on so many age regression fics that "this is a coping mechanism and is 100% non-sexual/SFW" bother me so much. Stop stating your experience like it's universal. Your age regression is 100% non-sexual? Cool. All age regression is 100% non-sexual? Fuck off, you don't get to decide that. Do you genuinely think no one has ever engaged in sexual activity while little/regressed?

It doesn't matter if it's a coping mechanism. Sometimes, coping mechanisms are sexual! Stop implying that something being a coping mechanism automatically means that it's not sexual. People use sexuality for all sorts of things, pleasure and relief and catharsis and turning their brains off and connecting with their bodies and pain and feeling bad and working through difficult feelings, and the sexiness of it all in "coping mechanisms" doesn't make it dirty or wrong or shameful.

(The phrase "coping mechanism" bothers me for some reason, but that's just a personal peeve and I don't know where it comes from. I absolutely use sex, all kinds of sex, as a coping mechanism, if you want to use that phrasing.)

It's fine to state your boundaries about your stories/posts. "Please don't leave sexual comments on this. If you do, I'll delete the comment and block you." That's fine, that's cool, that's a boundary. "My regression is a coping mechanism and 100% non-sexual." That's fine, too, that's a statement of your own experiences and no one can argue with those.

But the implied universality of the statement pisses me off, and the way this statement is confused with boundaries. "This is non-sexual" is not a boundary; it's a statement and it's incorrect. I can read the fluffiest, sweetest, most non-sexual age play/regression story and find it sexual if I'm in the right mood and it presses the right buttons. I'd feel like a dick if I made the author, who so obviously doesn't want those associations, hear about them in my comments, so I never leave comments stating that, but god, your little statements of intent, of what this story is or isn't, of how your readers can and should experience the story don't do anything.

You can't control how people read stories. You can't control what they get out of them. You can't control how others experience age play and regression. Please stop trying to.

[nytehavyn-circle]

Oh, something else I'm gonna bitch about now that I see way too much of on here and in peoples' rules.

You fuckers that shame anyone who RPs taboo subjects? You either need to get out of your house, away from the internet, and actually see the world, or lock yourself in your room and hunker down away from reality.

I know you love to say "I use RP as an escape!" Well, surprise here, but so does everybody else! But sometimes they like to interject a little taboo into their RP without being fucking judged, made to feel guilty, or being run off of Tumblr.

Oh, and you people who refuse to play with anyone who even dares RP taboo subjects? Piss off. You can RP with someone without RPing those taboo subjects with them.

Yes, you curate your own RP experience, and you can follow and/or block anyone you want, but some of you are seriously missing out on some wonderful RP partners. But, no, you're too stuck on actually shaming the mun behind the muse.

I've explored some taboo subjects in my RPs. And I plan on doing it again, and again. So, might as well unfollow me. Never mind that you can fucking BLOCK said taboo threads/tags. And if you have Xkit, you can even block the thread itself.

But no, you won't do that. You'd rather ignore the whole person. Or shame them, whichever brings you the most pleasure. And it's usually done on Anon, which also makes you a coward.

Same goes for you people who refuse to RP with anyone who has a dead FC (I'm talking multimuse, you know, where there is more than one muse you can play with?), or 'problematic' FCs (on a multimuse, where you know, there is more than one muse you can play with?)

Another thing? Refusing to RP with people who only RP white muses or PoCs... what if the mun is white and feels uncomfortable RPing PoC's because they can't understand what PoCs go through? What iff the mun is a PoC and is uncomfortable playing white muses? Some of you bitch muns out for not RPing PoCs or white muses and some of you bitch muns out for paying PoCs or white muses. So which is it? They should be playing PoCs/white muses or they shouldn't?

And that attitudes I've mentioned above? Is exactly why so many people are SCARED to RP on here or ask people to RP on here, or even seek people out. Because, inevitably, a good chunk of the Tumblr RPC will find something to tear those RPers apart for, or chase them off of the website.

Because if you don't want someone RPing something that they RP, instead of leaving them alone, you would rather run them off for being 'problematic'.

I LOVE RPing on this site, and I will never leave it, no matter how many death threats and shit I get... but the Tumblr RPC, as a whole, is fucked up beyond belief. Most of the time, you people don't even know what you want.

To the rest of you in the RPC:

If you RP taboo subjects, I love you. If you RP PoCs? I love you. If you don't RP PoCs, I love you. If you play twisted, sick muses, I love you. If you play Mary Sues or self-inserts, I love you. If you use animated FCs, drawn FCs, dead FCs, I still love you. If you write smut, I love you. If you don't write smut, I love you.

I DON'T love you if you make people feel like shit for the above.

[moderndaycirce]

Find the Word/Manuscript Search Tag

Tagged by @just-a-cybercroissant! Words: passion, lips, shoot and mental.

Passion - Nothing Else Matters (Chapter 21)

“Don’t fuckin’ talk about Alt.” He knew how dangerous he sounded, and he thought he’d healed pretty well after spending a whole year in the Net with her- but something about it coming out of Rogue’s mouth pissed him off. 

“Why not? Because it all feels the same to me.” She was goading him now, he knew that tone. This wasn’t the calm and collected fixer Rogue, this was the Rogue he’d fallen for- the one full of fire and passion, who could fight as good as she fucked. God, he missed her. 

“It’s nothing like that.” 

“You haven’t changed at all, this is exactly who you are.” She snapped at him with anger in her eyes. “You just found another pretty woman who needs saving, sounds pretty fucking familiar doesn’t it?”

Lips - Nothing Else Matters (Unpublished WIP Chapter)

“Johnny.” Judy spoke, taking his attention off Panam. “We just want to help.” 

He looked at the small techie, pursing his lips. V had cared a lot about her, and she’d come back to a city she’d hated because V had dropped off the map. And if there was anyone in this room who would understand the issue, then it’d be the porn editor who used to work in a sex club. 

“How much of the footage did you watch?” He asked the women, still looking at Judy. 

“We read-“ Panam started but he cut her off. 

“The footage. Fuck, you got scop for brains or somethin’?” He was irritated now. 

Shoot - Untitled SilverDyne WIP

“I think I’m in love with you.” Kerry mumbled, his words shooting straight through Johnny like a block of ice. He tried not to let Kerry feel how tense he’d gotten, shifting so he could curl closer into his side. 

“No. You’re not.” Was all he replied, trying to keep his voice even, to not let Kerry hear how much that scared him. He’d already fucked up the last time someone had fallen in love with him. He was bound to fuck this up too.

“I am. And I’m terrified ‘cause I’ve never been in love before.” He heard Kerry whisper, his lips almost pressed against the skin on his chest. Johnny squeezed his eyes shut, praying to the god he didn’t believe in that Kerry wouldn’t remember this in the morning. Praying that the drugs in his system were just making him have these feelings, that they weren’t real. Because he didn’t know what he’d do if they were. 

Mental - Nothing Else Matters (Chapter 15)

“You really gonna punch a one armed man?” He shot at Kerry, whose eyes widened when he realised that Johnny was missing something important.

“What happened to your arm?” Kerry asked. 

“We don’t know.” V said, finally composing herself enough to speak. “It wasn’t in there with him.” 

“And he’s… all there?” Kerry asked, and Johnny scowled at him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“If you’re talking about the engram, yes. I think so.” V said before Johnny could get any angrier. He’d heard too many comments over his lifetime about his mental health to let something like that go easily.

Tagging @thatkorka @z-lagorio @timaeusterrored and @bubble-bones

Your words are: Past, Moment, Frozen and Corner

[djosephqueery]

Art block's still really really bad so I'm not comfortable posting anything I've doodled recently. Instead I'm gonna ramble at whoever will listen about my witcher au headcanons. This is really long, and mostly just word vomit. Sorry not sorry.

Obviously, I've made Steve analogous with Geralt and Eddie Jaskier. I've seen a couple different interpretations on who would be who, but this is what feels most natural to me.

In my head Nancy is closest paralleled by Yen; they share quite a few narrative themes and are both women I am equal parts in love with and terrified of.

I think Robin most closely fits Triss, except in my version of the story she's the one turning down the prospect of a relationship with Steve. She'd also play a much larger role in his life than Triss did in the show (I've only played a little of the games and haven't read the books, so most of my knowledge is show-based).

And then obviously, because this is a Steddie (and ronance, I'm making it happen) au, it has to diverge from the witcher canon at some point because I don't want endgame stancy. Because I do love a healthy amount of angst though, I am going to keep mostly to canon up through the whole debacle on the mountain. Nancy finds out about the djinn wish and leaves Steve, Steve still gets (unrightfully) pissed at Eddie and leaves him there, everyone's in pain it's great.

But Steve and Nancy don't get back together after that. That's the end of their romantic involvement with each other.

Then the romance with Eddie kicks off after steve breaks the bard out of prison. In the time between the mountain and the prison break Steve's had all his realizations about Eddie (and he's a Witcher, so like it's all tinged with this feeling like he shouldn't get involved, would be better for eddie if he wasn't around, etc etc, which is why he stays away for so long). I'm not, however, making Eddie his bi awakening. Steve's not a teenager/young adult in this au. He's been around. He's known this about himself for a long time, but it's just as inconsequential to him as his attraction to women. It's a fact he knows, but doesn't really matter because he's not destined (in his eyes) for that kind of relationship.

I am torn on how to approach the Child Surprise. Part of me wants to scrap that arc completely and come up with something New.

If I do keep it, then I'm torn on Which kid from the show fits Ciri best. El seems like the obvious choice as far as narrative parallels go- powers she doesn't really understand, her whole life being suddenly upturned and there being insane forces at play that want her for some unknown reason- it's all there. But because we don't get any Steve/El interactions in st it's hard for me to fit her into the Geralt/Ciri dynamic.

Dynamic-wise I think the child should be Max. We see Steve take care of her in the show, and they bicker a little but she trusts him and (ultimately) listens to him. He feels responsible for her in a way that we don't see him feel towards El.

So I'm still undecided on that as of yet.

Robin and Nancy getting together is a lot more amorphous due to the minimal Yen/Triss interactions we get onscreen. But there's plenty of opportunity for that while they're both at Aretuza after Sodden. Nancy having lost her powers, Robin dealing with her own wounds that won't heal, tons of opportunity for bonding over shared trauma and finding a way Forward.

Does Nancy still get tangled up with the Deathless Mother trying to get her magic back? in this au with Robin there with her, would she help? Would this create a divide between Steve and Robin (for a time only, it would Resolve. I'm a stobin lover first and foremost)? So many unanswered questions.

[neodreamgirl]

there's so many things that have been bothering me these past couple of weeks...

but what I really want to talk about is the fear I have of becoming depressed again. things are difficult right now for me financially, and I am finding it very hard to find a new job. throughout this difficult transition of being a college student to being an adult navigating the real world, I have been lucky enough to still be on anti-depressants. they block the extreme negative emotions that come with depression, but I still feel secondary things. my mood is very low, I feel tired often, I don't want to talk to anyone, and most of all, I feel shame. you can also add in a touch of frustration to the mix.

actually, frustration might be what i have been feeling all along. i'm dissatisfied with where i'm at in life. I feel embarrassed, ashamed...it seems like no matter how many job applications I fill out, no one thinks i'm worthy of hearing back. every time I walk into my job, I get a headache. i'm so frustrated and upset with myself because there is no one to blame but me. my efforts may not be enough. my resume is garbage. maybe i'm not hungry enough for success and the cosmos are acting accordingly? I don't know...

but there's something so humorous about this. there are two other things bothering me at the moment, too, but I can't seem to focus on them. I think I have learned to prioritize better now that i'm 25...the frontal lobe is in full effect it seems. I feel like i've detached from this guy that I was dating for about 3/4 months. at first, I was full of anxiety when he suddenly stopped texting me, but it went away after I made note that I have abandonment issues (LMAO?). i'm upset that we aren't talking right now, but I'm not too sure why it isn't bothering me as much. or maybe it's bothering me so much which is why I haven't reached out to any of my friends about it. someone that I considered my best friend hurt me, too. I had considered her my best friend for 5+ years and she turned around and threw my struggles in my face when I couldn't be there for her because of them. she hasn't apologized for it, either. she acts like she did nothing wrong. that sucks. but, I also haven't reached out to anyone to tell them how much it bothered me that she texted me recently like nothing. she ignored my text about how I feel like she doesn't care about what I have to say, therefore I feel like we should take a break from our friendship. she ignored that text for weeks.

these two situations and the way i'm handlng them feels new to me. I usually get very anxious over being ghosted and super upset when someone I considered close pisses me off/hurts me. instead, it's like a shallow feeling of disappointment mixed with sadness. the best part about the guy and my best friend is that this all happened at the same time. both of them just disappointing me back to back.

i think my frustration overshadows every other emotion. my frustration seems to be the driving force behind me isolating myself and wanting to stay in bed all day on my phone, laptop or reading a book. in fact, the only thing I have interest in doing is sleeping, pilates, and reading. i'm afraid that if this goes on, i'll become depressed...I don't like who I am when I am depressed. maybe the anti depressants will prevent that from happening, but still. it feels like I don't have the energy or motivation to interact with people, which is probably why I'm not hitting up that guy, bothering him and asking him if he's okay. it's like i'm content with not speaking to him at the moment. I don't want to go back and forth with my "best friend" because I know she won't listen, but also because I don't have the energy. I feel like I need to let these things run their course while I stay in my own bubble and figure out what my next step is with work. what do I do? who do I talk to? how do I lock in? I feel like hiding from the world until I have it figured it out. which sucks, and I know it isn't healthy, but it feels nice for a while...