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liauditore · 1 year ago

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The thoughts, hand em over. (No pressure but I wanna hear em :D)

oh god what have u done.

context.

OK SO,. (BE WARNED THIS IS LIKE. REALLY LONG AND BRAINROTTY.)

first off i must put here as per the law i am not in fact armchair psychoanalysing mc youtubers grian and mister scott S. major this is me looking at the 3L series as is it were a performance and their actions in said series as characters and blah blah blah so on so forth this is Fanfiction and Shipping and woowoOOwoo We Are Being Sillyyy with a miku song.

i'm gonna infodump abt a bunch of stuff including some heavy topics like emotional abuse and dubcon (NOT in detail the song just has those vibes)

so uh if you're reading this for Some Reason know that 👍

ALRIGHT WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY Vampire the song itself is (at least my reading of it) a song about a toxic relationship. The singer is very much not a Good Person and the main chorus is just them disregarding their partner's needs and pushing the relationship even further.

But the singer isn't completely irredeemably evil, since they really do love the person they're abusing (in a childish sense of the word love, anyway) and seem to be at least acutely aware of how they're not really a good person.

But of course, they "eh whatever" these self-reflections pretty fast cus they're having fun with the relationship. This specific set of translyrics reads to me like a bit of self-victimizing as well like "oh, I'm so tortured by feeling like a bad person because of the way I treat you. But I love you so you don't really have a choice but to forgive me."

Speaking of translyrics this is where Micchi's version comes in. While I ADORE Rachie and Anthong's version I do have some nitpicks..? And one of those that I am unreasonably pet peeved by is this right here.

In the original JP version, the lyric is simply kimi mo vampire, meaning simply You're (also) a Vampire. It's alot more obvious a change and hits harder imo than "My little Vampire" which still puts the singer in the position of power.

Micchi's version of the lyrics on the other hand stick a lot closer to the original

And I might just be imagining this but there seems to be a switch in the power dynamic in this version as well. The singer is now inviting their partner to be "rough" with them and the repeating mantra of "you're the ONLY ONE for me" sounds more desperate than anything else.

Micchi's lyrics in general are a bit more wet cat coded. I still prefer Rachie's as a whole but Micchi's singer definitely seems to be more regretful of what they've done and blame themselves for essentially turning their partner into a different, more hostile person. (aka turning them into a vampire lol)

In a lot of ways the vampire metaphor is really unsubtle. Bloodsucking parasite attaches themselves to someone and turns them into a bloodsucking parasite as well.

SO HOW THE FUCK DID I GET GRAIN AND SCOOTER FROM THIS WELL.....

When I think about 3L one of the main things that lights up the lightbulb in my mind is the parallels between all of the four "main" partnerships, with Renchantyn vs Desert Duo as the most obvious comparison point but I think they all mirror and subvert each other really well.

Grian/Scott are like birds of a feather to me in a similar sense that Scott/Cleo are, but while Scott and Cleo have this mutual understanding with each other with Grian it's a bit more complicated.

I CAN't. FOR THE LIFE OF ME. FIND IT AGAIN bUT there was a bit in Third Life when Scott said to Grian "and maybe once our husbands are dead we can be free" and Grian laughs and that basically inspired this Whole Thing 🙏🙏

(an apology for all the wholesome flower husbands shippers who i know follow me cus im about to unleash my full toxic yaoi adaptation of them) (desert duo fans from what ive seen are already insane so you're okay)

In my own mind Grian and Scott are both somewhat.. manipulative? Might be a bit harsh of a word? But they definitely play to survive more than some of the other people stuck in there with them. (cleo too but she sucks at it and she can get her character analysis essay next week)

At least in my view, their partnerships with Jimmy and Scar respectively were born more out of a need for safety in numbers and to get someone to essentially keep them safe until they're no longer of use. Grian definitely felt bad about creeper-ing Scar in the first episode but I don't think he was quite expecting to spend the whole series in debt to him 😭😭

Scott (like the singer in the song oh my god) isn't really a monster so to speak, just someone who has a messed up view of love. Probably has some sort of tragic backstory that explains the way he is that we'll get to see in the anime adaptation idk. He does care for Jimmy but in like.. the way someone might care for and love a pet. You LOVE your dog to fucking death but you wouldn't like.. trust your dog with taxes or respect its autonomy.

also these lyrics are both hilarious to me considering the uh current brainrot.

Grian on the other hand probably Wants to be like Scott and be able to have someone wrapped around his fingers like that but he can't cus it's Scar not Jimmy and he's Grian and not Scott. I imagine he'd get tired of Scar's shenanigans when he's with him but as soon as he's left the room it's all why's it so quiet D: where's scar D:

I like to think that everytime he THINKS he has a handle on Scar finally and can actually stand a chance to survive this thing Scar does something completely unhinged off the wall and Grian's like WAIT WAIT WAIT NO

basically he gets way too attached and doesn't like it and to make it worse he has no idea wtf is going thru Scar's head👍

SO when they eventually team up I think Scott and Grian would have this little "wink wink nudge nudge they don't know" kinda thing going on.

and then in my little fanfiction world somewhere along the line Scott would end up sensing that Oh, We're actually not exactly the same.. interesting.. and kind of start looking at Grian with this sense of amusement/pity cus aww, look at you getting all attached to the person you were planning to betray, that's so cute and Grian would see the worst of himself reflected back to him via Scott. It ends up strengthening Desert Duo's relationship if anything else.

Of course then Jimmy dies and Scott's emotionally destroyed by it but he's still like.. skirting around it. I'd like to think he gaslights himself with any genuine Emotions he has cus like.. he knew this was coming, this is all according to plan, so why would he feel anything for him now that he's gone?

While Scott gets some time to come to terms with the fact that he actually cared about Jimmy too late for him to repair their relationship Grian and Scar end up punching eachother to death in a cactus ring. The End 👍

tl;dr i need to pick up writing fanfics cus oh my god

#asks #HAHAHAHAHA DON'T READ THIS #op is Unhinged #usually im more normal on my main i promise #but writing all this down was fun i should do it more #despite it all this couldve been even fucking longer #if i decided to go even more in depth w/ my toxic yaoi fh and whatnot #cus i do think jimmy ends up catching some bad habits and scotts like oh god what have i done a bit #BUT i am going to draw them again and i can rant abt them there #i think i almost wrote scott too evil here a bit?? but i reassure u he's just a Guy #like trap me in a death game i would manipulate a naive blonde boy too tbh #but i'd end up being grian cus im small and angry and unable to get a proper read on scar goodtimes #heavy brainrot #i might make this songs thing a series i liked doing this alot....#i need a funky lil tag for it.#trafficshipping #<-- for filtering #trafficvocabrainrot

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highliqhts · 10 months ago

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🎬 just announced, rowan delaney has been cast as rikki chadwick in the upcoming h2o: just add water reboot. the twenty3 year old is trending as people are debating if the scouring the local thrift stores for the cutest knitted tops, giving their manager serious heart palpitations by going on instagram live rants about how big corporations are ruining the planet at 2am, being weirdly good at tiktok dance challenges, trying to cook for people despite being terrible at it and being completely unable to keep a phone screen protected without cracks that they are known for is enough to make them as good as original. a quick google search shows that their fans call them free-spirited, but internet trolls think they’re more brash. i guess their newest interview for variety where they talk about how they almost had an accident trying to swim with a mermaid’s tail as a child will let people to know them better.

hii, besties !! <33 i am daisy and genuinely so excited to be here ?? fair warning that it's been ... probably about a year since i last tumblr group rped, so i might be a bit rusty but this one brought me back from my retirement. this is rowan, who is a brand new muse of mine aka they're definitely still a work in progress but i'd absolutely love to plot with everyone and figure out all the missing pieces !! anyway, hope u enjoy, mwuah !

basics.

name: rowan delaney.

nicknames: ro.

gender: demi woman

pronouns: she/they.

age: 23.

date of birth: january 23rd 2001.

astrological sign: aquarius.

place of birth: brisbane, australia.

nationality: australian.

ethnicity: mauritian, italian.

occupation: actress.

sexual & romantic orientation: pansexual, panromantic.

character.

positive traits: free-spirited, accepting, spontaneous, passionate, independent, loyal.

negative traits: brash, aloof, stubborn, fickle.

likes: the beach, having conversations about things that actually matter, finding that piece while thrifting, traveling, chai latte, pistacchios, surfing.

dislikes: small talk, people who don't care about the environment / animals, authority figures, rules that don't make sense to her, fake niceties.

biography.

if there ever were two people who absolutely should be parents it's rowan's moms. their lovestory is one for the ages, as they had met in the australian wilderness, ciara an italian backpacking tourist and lauren the australian who saved her from some kind of poisonous snake ( or if you believe lauren a totally non-threatening, non-poisonous snake but she would only contest it if ciara isn't around ). what followed is neatly documented in the photo albums rowan grew up looking through, their mothers on their travels through the entire country, lauren having joined ciara for ' protection purposes '. one thing led to another and the two of them fell in love, something that was completely unthinkable, both with the distance and with ciara’s very catholic and conservative family back in italy. there were simply too many obstacles, it couldn’t work out, right ? with heavy hearts they said goodbye after almost an entire year spent constantly by each other’s sides. that is until, due to a sudden storm, ciara’s flight didn’t take off, leading them to have yet another conversation … after all, wasn’t this fate telling them not to part ? in the end ciara never left australia to go back to living in italy, instead taking the leap and staying in australia with the woman she excitedly calls the ‘ love of her life ‘ even to this day.

rowan was the last puzzle piece to their perfect little family, in addition to the two dogs, one cat and the stray duck all living with them as well. nobody really knows how the duck ended up there. they do know how rowan did though, after years of careful consideration she was about the most wished for child you could possibly imagine. and so she grew up, surrounded by love and support. that being said, for a while it wasn’t easy for rowan to cope with the harsher realities of life outside their little house. while at the delaney’s family home it was alright to express yourself and your feelings however you wanted, the outside world was less accepting of that. therefore school wasn't easy for her during the first years. rowan was a bit of an outsider during those years, spending most of their free time at home with the pets and their mothers. it wasn’t until she grew up some more that she found friends who would accept her as she was.

once those years came around however, her life was better than ever before. alongside their friends they spent a lot of time exploring the beaches and city around them. their mothers, being the free-spirited and encouraging women they were, mostly encouraged them in this, paying for their first surfing lessons right alongside the first acting classes. initially they had only signed up for those because a friend of theirs had. surprisingly enough though, rowan soon figured out that acting was something they were not only rather good at but also loved to do. though ciara would later say she never thought it to be all that surprising, with how much rowan had always loved listening to and sharing stories. especially during those younger, more lonely days, where it was mostly books keeping her company. the last years of high school were spent acting in local theater productions, having bonfires at the beach and surfing with their friends.

life was good for rowan during those times as she started considering what to do after school. it was at the beginning of her last year in high school when she saw an open audition for neighbors and decided to simply shoot her shot. never in a million years did they think this would actually lead them anywhere,that was until they got callback after callback, eventually sitting down to do chemistry reads. they were seventeen, a month into their final year when they got the official offer. sitting down with their parents, they debated. how would she finish school, when filming would take place in melbourne ? was it even feasible ? could she move there on her own ? in the end they found a solution that had her living with a friend of the family in melbourne during filming, studying with a tutor when she was there and still attending school whenever she was in brisbane. it was a stressful year and it’s safe to say their final grades were not much to be proud of but they did it, they graduated. afterwards she was lucky enough for her minor role to stay permanent, gaining some importance in the show’s plotline, leading to her being able to continue to stay on the crew and work in melbourne.

they kept their very first television role on neigbors for about 3-4 years, before finally saying their goodbye to the australian soap. due to the relative prominence of the show in australian television, they had earned a decent level of exposure through it. in australia, this would have definitely lent itself to quickly gaining further job opportunities and she definitely debated this with her moms for quite some time. in the end it was them that pushed her to aim higher, to try her luck in the us and move to los angeles at 21. the move was probably the hardest thing ro has done to this day, leaving was tearful not only because they’d miss their family but also because they’d miss their home and they were fully aware they might just be leaving for nothing. for the past two years ro has mostly been getting very small appearances for an episode or three in multiple tv projects ( imagine patient on grey’s or a lost plotline in riverdale or smth, i’ll have to figure the exact projects out ). only recently did she get her first real breakthrough when she was cast as rikki in the reboot of h20: just add water, an australian classic ! they’re about to start filming season 1 and it’s safe to say that ro couldn’t be more excited, having been an avid viewer of the show as a kid.

tl;dr: basically she's born to two very loving lesbians whom i gave an unneccessarily sweet backstory. she grew up in australia, loves the oceans and animals and always had the loving support of her family. she started acting at 17 and moved to the us to further follow that career at 21. h2o is her first lead role.

headcanons.

rowan sometimes refers to the pets that were in the house while they grew up as if they were their siblings, which can be confusing to some people

ro’s style is very much sort of boho inspired, she loves cute knitted pieces and wide flowy pants and dresses or jeans shorts as well as sporting the most pieced together yet somehow strangely working assortment of jewelry

she has a decently active social media presence, which is mostly used for an unpredictable mixture of silly on set tiktok challenges or passionate calls for action, mostly for environmental protection

they’re very much a beach and oceans enthusiast and they WILL shut you down for leaving any kind of trash on the beach but also for supporting environmentally damaging companies

ro has a decent amount of houseplants at home and tries to keep them alive so desperately ? but honestly, they’re really not a natural at it.

she loves doing her nails herself, including cute and intricate nail designs

when they were 19 and at a party they got a tiny tattoo of an octopus done on the left side of her hip

#↪ 𝒓𝒐𝒘𝒂𝒏 𝒅𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒆𝒚 ━ about.#2000s.intro #this got longer than expected ??? sry to anyone reading rip #but pls still love my bby !!

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6okuto · 2 years ago

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QKHDEKRBWBDJDH Im too shy to go off anon but just know that im ur secret admirer ahshdjshdjejd also sending u anon love is fun hehe 💓💓😚😚

im glad to hear that ur eyes r getting better! Hope ull be able to get the rest u need and deserve after ur sem is over <333 im doing great myself !!seeing ur reply to my ask just made my week 💗💗💗💗💗 i hope u too r eating well and staying hydrated and most importantly get enough sleep 😭😭😭😭 i hope ur day continues to be filled with happy things love u !!!💕💕💕💕💕

U dont know what kind of beast uve unleashed when u said u wanted to know more abt my ocs ong...Osjxiejdieje pls dont mind my rambling im so shameless byeee 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️ also these infos might be weird its just based off my own understanding of stuff and not accurate to common knowledge so ⚰⚰

The alchemist- she's a bit on the gloomy side and honestly just tired of life 😭😭 i went with this origin first so her personality is like pretty much based off the game mc we play as, just a tad bit more passive 🚶‍♀️will melt down and turn into mush at the slightest bit of affection so i paired her with leander, and since shes gone through a lot i thought, she deserves some treat <3 and throw in mhin into the equation too hehe another random fact abt her is that she loves plain water... a LOT. Since shes a mage apprentice, i imagine that she probably learn a lot of magic stuff after meeting leander, mostly to get stronger and for self defense

The hound- she got massive trust issues (being betrayed by her friend in the thief syndicate and all) so shes extremely wary of the LIs, like if u think the in game mc is wary of the ppl in eridia, she's like 10x worse. Honestly lowkey like mhin 2.0 except a lil bit snappier 😭 i pair her with kuras and their relationship is kinda like him trying to get a stray cat with human issues to warm up to him 😭😭 doesnt get along with any of the LIs at all and always keep an arm's length around them, but she only lets kuras into her life (and fun fact he loves feeding her) surprisingly tolerates mhin too, and learns a lot abt how to use weapons from them, and since she was in a thief syndicate i imagine her agility lvl is v high (and dont tell this to my unnamed mc but my alchemist and hound mc is my favourite children...)

The unnamed- shes raised like a royalty all her life, since being an oracle means that everyone borderline worship her, but being raised at a temple also means theres many restrictions and shes honestly lowkey sick of being treated like it, though she keeps the perfect facade up, all smiles and all. Shes kind of a lil shit since after running away from the temple, she finds it hard to keep her nice facade up but still tries too hard to keep em (this results in her going 😄😄 but when she suddenly snaps she was like- omg i accidentally let my true colours out- and went back to being nice and all smiles as if her previous outburst didnt just happen- yes shes two faced) i pair her with ais and vere (aka the lil shits 😭) honestly their relationships r just ais and vere trying to make her snap and drop her nice facade its kind of hilarious

Andd yeahhs thats abt it abt them !! Sorry this got much longer than it shouldve been 😔😔 but thank u for being curious abt my silly goofies 🥺🥺 my personal fave is mhin!! And after finish talking to ais and kuras i...im lowkey interested in them disjdjejdjejdj theyre so fun??¿¿ 😭😭 leander is high up in my list too but i mostly see him as a big bro figure bc of his friendliness 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

ANYWAYS I LOVE U SM OKAY RMMBR THAT NIA SENDING U LOTS OF VIRTUAL HUGS THHANK U FOR BRIGHTENING UP MY DAY 💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

its fine i know who u are. im lying. im not. i have a hypothesis i wont say bc well thatd be awkward if i was wrong wouldnt it. STAY PERF! SENDING U ..NOT ANON LOVE...wtf is the opposite of anonymous. KNOWN! IDENTIFIED! jesus. i need to go back to sleep i think i slept for like 3 hours my body hates me or sometign....THANK YOU!!!! i will continue 2 look 4 happy things 2day. reacted under cut 2 save space :heart:

HELLO ALCHEMIST MC!!! the plain water imcirny?@%? that's real actually stay hydrated OMGG learning magic after meeting is saur smart... is she ending up w leander... WHAT IS MHIN DOING. stay so strong

HOUND MC AND KURAS that's so real. handling 2 mhins...u can do it bro... LOVES FEEDING HER 🙁 i cannot wait 2 hear abt how she lets her walls down i think the hound option is just soo good for that and kuras is an interesting choice 4 it.. + w mhin's own...defensiveness and such....yeah . stuff is going to happen here

WOWW. UNNAMED FACADE OF HAPPINESS...love the trope I LOOVEEE WHEN CHARAS DO THAT i giggle a little like omg AIS AND VERE. jesus. wow. oh wow. there is so much u can do there. oh that sounds like itll be so fun to develop

DO NAWTT APOLOGIZE i like 2 hear abt everyones ocs bc i dont make them LOL i am sure mhin would love u. i think they need the same amnt of support + self care reminders u give me like TAKE CARE OF URSELF...LET PEOPLE TAKE CARE OF U... i hope something so awesome happens for u today :heart:

#🧾nia.answers #<3 anon #so fuckin tired of punctuation #i cannot hold up the image any longer i do not use punctuation #if u see me going on and off w my apostrophes...leave me alone /lh #adding more 2s and 4s NO MORE WORDS.#q

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minteayoongimakesmewoozi · 2 years ago

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Hi hi! I've been reading fits for awhile now! (you might see my comments sometimes too lol) and I've been really into rediscovering my middle school favorite YA series, the hunger games recently.

I'm not sure if you're familiar with it, but I keep thinking of the kamados as people from District 12. Maybe it's bc they sold coal, and D12 is the coal district. Zenitsu might be from 3 or 6, Inosuke I'm not sure about, and if you are familiar with the series I'm curious to know what district ayame would be from. Muzan is probably the equivalent of president snow and the demon slayer corps is probably the rebellion.

I feel like both tanjiro and ayame would volunteer for the hunger games if their siblings got reaped, although tanjiro wouldn't be able to volunteer for nezuko which is sad :( same ayame for her brother.

If you're familiar with the series, do you think anyone from the fits idiot squad would be a hg victor? Also I think if ayame and tanjiro came from tge same district we'd have something very similar to the everlark "star crossed lovers" strategy lol.

Also could you imagine a fruits basket au?? Just suddenly popped to mind I must now go think about. (Zenitsu is monkey, inosuke obvi a boar, genya maybe the tiger or cat? Ughghghghh so much to think about ��)

owo anonnie thank u for commenting!!! if i've replied to ur comments then i've already said that, but i still appreciate every comment i get! it really gives me motivation to keep writing and posting fits!!!!!

oh man hunger games au.......... i only ever read catching fire, although i know the important parts of the hunger games from fanfic n whatnot..... and i know i can write a hg au cos i once went a lil viral for a set jicheol hg au a few years ago......... alright! let's go!!!!!

Hunger Games AU

- if i were to write a hunger games au, ayame and tanjirou probably wouldn't be from the same district TwT the same way that i agree the kamados would be from district 12, the higuchis would be from district 2 bc of the whole blacksmith thing

- but maybe. *maybe* they were originally from district 12 generations ago. maybe the higuchis and the kamados are intertwined, which is why tanjirou is given his father's earrings, and ayame wears wears her mother's tama kanzashi. they've been taught since birth to look out for those heirlooms - bc that's how they know they'll have an ally should they become tributes

- of course, it's been years - decades even - since a kamado and a higuchi end up in the same games

- until one day, takeo is reaped and tanjirou takes his place. and misaki is reaped, and ayame immediately volunteers in her place

- the wheels start turning then. or maybe they were already in motion, but there's a kamado and a higuchi as tributes and the rebellion realises this can only play to their advantage

- ayame notices tanjirou first, but tanjirou is the one that approaches her first. he walks over to her, swallows nervously and whispers, "higuchi-san?" and ayame turns to him with warmth in her gaze and offers a nod and a demure, "kamado-san."

- they're both gentle people. both sixteen and both the only volunteers who took the place of their younger siblings. when the cameras catch them together, the capitol sighs about a forbidden love and that's when the rebellion digs their teeth into both teens

- kyoujurou is, of course, the mentor for district 2. he laughs loudly and easily, but there's a sharpness to his smile that makes the other mentors wary. everyone remembers how he used fire to win his games, and it shocks no one to realise that ayame is just as good with flames as he is

- zenitsu is from district 5, and inosuke is from district 10. kanao is from district 11! and genya from district 3. for obvious reasons, none of them are dying dammit. i can't live like this anymore, there's already so much angst in kny canon

- let's just say that all of the mentioned districts are all working together for the rebellion. idc if it's not canon, none of them are dying in this

- genya, ayame and kanao are of course favourites to win. ayame bc she's from a career district, kanao bc she's surprisingly good with a scythe - but maybe not, since she's from an agricultural district. genya bc his brother is a victor, and no one would expect someone as protective as sanemi to not arm his lil brother with every important knowledge he has

- the hashiras would be previous victors for sure. kyoujurou for district 2, tengen from district 1. sanemi is of course from district 3 with genya, and that means shinobu is the victor and mentor for district 11. obanai would have to be the mentor for district 10 on account of, y'know, kaburamaru. livestock yeah but u know. (also an inosuke & obanai pair is just hysterical) himejima could be a victor for district 2 too, along with mitsuri cos haha kyoujurou n mitsuri amirite. that just leaves giyuu (district 4) and muichirou (district 7).

- does this mean aoi is either a tribute from district 4 or also one of shinobu's adopted sisters....... idk

- tanyame could absolutely do an everlark star crossed lovers strategy definitely, although ayame would have to be the one to do the whole lying thing like peeta had to

- something about how she managed to fall for one of her tributes during training and everyone knows it's tanjirou cos they did get pretty close during that time

- also i can totally see ayame sneaking into the district 12 dorms (with mentor urokodaki's help and also kyoujurou's) so she can apologise for the whole thing, but she had to do it

- katniss, i know, was an unwilling figurehead the whole time, but i can see tanjirou as being more proactive. maybe urokodaki-san has already read him in on the whole act, with no bullshit. they're going to use the kamado-higuchi alliance after all and it's only fair that they're both aware of the roles they have to play

- if we're talking about a 75th quarter quell games au, then all of the kmbk squad would absolutely be past victors. and that would make things even more amazing bc they'd have all at least met once during their victor tours

- ngl hunger games au makes me sad, but the idea of tanyame battle couple still being a thing is so chef kiss

i wish i could add more to a fruits basket au, but i've never watched it ~w~ i can see zenitsu as either a monkey or a bunny tho! and ofc inosuke is the boar, that's his whole thing! genya...... he looks so fierce in human form so i demand that he is a lil kitty cat. maybe tanjirou would be like a bull or smth, he's so boulder-brained bless him

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baekhvuns · 2 years ago

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Omg I forgot to tell you - two of my friends were on the set of The Crown (seasons 1-2) and they said the attention to details (interior design and fashion) was amazing. They even used some original wallpapers, furniture, clothes, and sometimes it took ages to find them

I'm a warm weather kind of person, like a lizard I NEED THE SUN. It's snowing right now and I'm in shambles 😭😭😭😭 your uni is in the mountains? Kinda spooky vibes, like a boarding school somewhere in the mountains 👀 be strong, we must survive it somehow 😢

Taemin lied down on my bed and was like "I sleep" kshdusyshdjsjsj he didn't give a fuck about me...

Atinys are shocked that despite Ateez gaining more fans, they don't vote and stream that much, y'all scared people away 😭 the surprise cocks on Twitter are the worst NOOOOO. Oh bestie you're lucky, because even if stans censor the names I still see it from time to time and 😐

If the JP MV isn't in the style of the previews I'm gonna 🔫 I need more vampire Ateez content

We got more deranged Hehetmons, they were bastardised 😭

You should add Clannad to your carrd under "triggers" 😅 But perhaps that's how I felt after reading Khr*n*s... I have such a soft spot for this show tho so I decided to focus on the positives.

AU of Ateez being wedding singers and Y/N decides to leave with Seonghwa 👀

TB is a train wreck, truly... Btw I'm obsessed with a webtoon called Blood Reverie (totally imagining vampire Hwa), I also started A Whirlwind Campus Affair - feel like it's gonna be a love triangle or perhaps even a quadruple 😭 but I'm rooting for the kinda mean but actually soft guy, he's a loser!

That styling on TXT reminds me of some of Ateez's stylings, because sometimes they just don't match 😭

Speaking of TXT I'm only gonna bark during Cat & Dog, you'll not catch me doing it otherwise hsgsjsgshaha embarrassing. Also some fans were barking for no reason at Loona and the girls were so confused

Why would you remind me of the Hwa hand holding?! The fact I was a bit reluctant back then, but now I would not let him go 💔

When Boa dropped her promo pics she was giving Avril too, she could be in Aespa with no problem.

ZOOTOPIA?! Stop because I was so hooked on that premise...

I'm laughing at people's reactions to Jongho's photo. What's next? Toes? 🤡

Lol and Japan won wih Germany, rip to Costa Rica though 7:0 💀

Damon gets better and then worse... he's my trigger 🔫

Maybe those people who dated capricorns are the problem, lol. Don't blame me, I never had a relationship!

Oiled London is now a TERF and a Christian man or whatever, someone lock him away

Bodyguard also I'm weak for Hwa in his big beanie and furry gloves. He's kinda going Soviet Union though

Oh that quiz was SERIOUS. I got "peace" but I lost the screenshot 💀 - DV 💖

hi hello!!

EXCUSE ME THEY WHAT ??? omg ur fr so cool and u have the coolest friends omg,, SO UR SAYING DID THEY MEET THE CAST, but most importantly did they meet olivia colman bc i will beg ur friends for an autograph,, the crown really took their style to a different level, the interior and the cinematography truly so amazing !!!! but the recent season kinda lost it’s identity tbh 😭😭 i wonder what critique’s ur friends might have for this season!

LIKE A LIZARDSDGWJDHWK 😭😭😭 omg what a perfect weather to stay in and relish some coffee,, it really is spooky! tbh some production company wanted to film it as north korea 😭😭😭😭 bc it does look like a boarding school,, almost hogwarts-y it’s spooky bc the fog really gathers up! and it’s just pure w h i t e ,,, WE MUST LIVE THRU IT BESTIE DONT SLIP ON THE SLUSH

Taemin lied down on my bed and was like "I sleep" kshdusyshdjsjsj he didn't give a fuck about me...

LMFAOOOO???? 😭😭😭😭 im in peak delulu bc taemin better comeback next week ALSO THIS TRACK IS CRIMINALLY UNDERRATED it’s very angst villain arc i rmr when he dropped the first part of this in want era,, i could not get it out of my mind

the twt toxicity scared them away tbh 😭😭 the gatekeeping sometimes isn’t good 😭😭it just gets worse and worse,, FBWKHDWK NO BC ITS A MIX OF EVERYTHING THE WAY I BE SHIELDING MY EYES AND BLOCKING THE TAGS BUT SOMEHOW, SOMEHOW ITS ALWAYS THERE

If the JP MV isn't in the style of the previews I'm gonna 🔫 I need more vampire Ateez content

NO UR RIGHT IF THEY BAMBOOZLED US FOR THE MV IM GONNA 🔫🔫🔫 also i do not agree with a lot of the makeup choices in this cb <3

We got more deranged Hehetmons, they were bastardised 😭

BASTARDIZED 😭😭😭😭 THEY JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE AND WORSE WTF IS GOING ON 😭😭😭

You should add Clannad to your carrd under "triggers" 😅 But perhaps that's how I felt after reading Khr*n*s... I have such a soft spot for this show tho so I decided to focus on the positives.

im about to add that actually tysm,, LMFAOOOO KHRONUS WASNT REALLY TO THAT LEVEL TBH 😭😭 omg do u remember hanasaku iroha?? and wolf girl and black prince??

AU of Ateez being wedding singers and Y/N decides to leave with Seonghwa 👀

this is giving very sugar by maroon 5 vibes but the yn actually runs away 😭😭

AYOO VAMPIRE??? im about to put this in my list rn,,, a campus affair 👁👁 IM SORRY IS THAT THE GUY UR ROOTING FOR??? BC AYOOO 🤚🏼🤚🏼 this is like a park seonghwa x park chanyeol = ban seongjun????

That styling on TXT reminds me of some of Ateez's stylings, because sometimes they just don't match 😭

YOURE RIGHT IDK WHAT HAPPENS TO STYLISTS WHEN THEIR GROUP HAS TO GO OVERSEAS BC THEY BE BRINGING OUT THE WORST OUTFITS 😭😭

DBWMBDWK if u can awoo for wolf, we barking for txt id bark if yeonjun asks me to <3 KDJDKD ATP ORBITS DO ANYTHING AND ITS SO CASUAL 😭😭 and chuu??? 😭😭😭

Why would you remind me of the Hwa hand holding?! The fact I was a bit reluctant back then, but now I would not let him go 💔

I MEAAANNN

When Boa dropped her promo pics she was giving Avril too, she could be in Aespa with no problem. /// ZOOTOPIA?! Stop because I was so hooked on that premise...

SHE REALLY WAS !!!! what a legend, ur right her vocal also fits aespa’s in some way maybe it’s the high pitch ness,,, FBWKDHWKDHWK THAT WAS MY EXACT REACTION 😭😭 MY JAW DROPPED WHEN I READ ZOOTOPIA but it true tho

I'm laughing at people's reactions to Jongho's photo. What's next? Toes? 🤡

PLSSSS NOT THE TOES AGAIN, ONE PICTURE IS FINE NO MORE TOES 😭😭 hwa’s other shoulder drop will k word me actually

Lol and Japan won wih Germany, rip to Costa Rica though 7:0 💀

no bc japan was DEADLY !!!! sk and uruguay was so neck to neck they did NOT COME TO PLAYY,,, can’t wait for sk vs portugal, son and ronaldo ??? 😮‍💨😮‍💨 NO CB WHAT WENT WRONG WITH COSTA 😭😭😭 AND NEYMAR?? i will give him my ankle i dont even use it bro pls take it and this?? THIS IS SO FUNNY 😭😭😭 THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST THING KPOP TWT HAS DONE ,,, also found out that the next fifa, my city will host it along with america but what’s the point if the main ppl aren’t there 😭😭🤚🏼

THE NEYMAR AEGYO 😭😭😭

nugu (saudi) winning over a big 3 (argentina) company?? rigged

fanservice king 😭😭 

no bc GET OUT

??? 😭😭 LMFAOOOO???

if he was in. bg, he’d be the main rapper

Damon gets better and then worse... he's my trigger 🔫 /// Maybe those people who dated capricorns are the problem, lol. Don't blame me, I never had a relationship!

STOP BC HES A WALKING RED FLAG BUT HES TOO FINE 😭😭 i would like to say those are most likely men, bc cap women are so funny aint no way this for them 🔫

Oiled London is now a TERF and a Christian man or whatever, someone lock him away

LMFAOOOO HES A WHAT NOW 😭😭😭

Bodyguard also I'm weak for Hwa in his big beanie and furry gloves. He's kinda going Soviet Union though /// Oh that quiz was SERIOUS. I got "peace" but I lost the screenshot 💀 - DV 💖

PLS THAT PHOTO DROP IS SO FUNNY THE LAST PIC LOOKS LIKE HES ABOUT TO TAKE A SHIT 😭😭 soviet union HEJWHDKQHDKQHDKWHSKW

that quiz read something so deep i was 😳🤚🏼since u lost it dbdb i did it multiple times so i can stumble on peace and wow.. anon are u okay <3 😭😭 mines almost similar in a way, solitude!

got another one!

AND???

what’s going on at the jackson wang party 😭😭

HE IS SO 🤏🏼🤏🏼🤏🏼

#✉️ : ask #dv 💖 anon

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angelplummie · 3 years ago

Note

Hiii! Could please get his for Ushijima taking care of his sick s/o? Thank youuu ( ◜‿◝ )♡

USHIJIMA TAKING CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU’RE SICK

USHIJIMA X GN!READER

masterlist

a/n: this is very relevant to me bc i have a honking cold rn so what the hell ushi is taking care of me rn ! also sorry if this is total waffle i’m like delirious ill LMAO let’s see how this goes!

warnings: mentions of not eating (not ed related)

• so

• originally, you planned he would never even know u were sick, you didn’t want to worry him

• that went about as well as you would imagine

• there you were chilling in your apartment, under your covers with tissues surrounding you as you scrolled through tik tok

• you see a couple that you want toshi to see, a few cat videos, some chinchillas, a sprinkle of golden retriever puppies, the usual

•you aren’t sure if he really likes the videos, because he only ever replies with a thumbs up emoji, so u can’t tell if he’s just humouring you, but you send them anyway cuz if he doesn’t like them he can just not watch them

• (he does like it actually, he loves when you send him that stuff, thinks the animals are very cute and he likes to know that you think of him when he’s away)

• but there’s a fatal flaw in this cute gesture, he’s not supposed to know that u can b on ur phone rn!!!!!!

• when it gets to his lunch break, he sits on on the bench and sees his phone with a bunch of notifs with you

• he shits himself a little bc he thinks somethings wrong, but then he sees it’s just tik toks he relaxes

• he watches them first (enjoys them greatly might i add), then says ‘thank you for the videos, i was worried that something was wrong when i saw texts from you in the middle of the day :>’

• (oh my GOD my heart de so uses :> :< /:< EEEE i love him so much he’s so cute)

• you reply as soon as you see the message, which makes him suspicious

• ‘aren’t you at work?’

• busted

• there’s no point lying now, so u tell him ur off sick

• he leaves you on read and 45 minutes later, there’s a very tall man at your door

• “Toshi!!! what are you doing here?”

• “why didn’t you tell me you were sick? i would’ve been here earlier. you shouldn’t be alone when your ill y/n it’s not safe”

• you ask him how he managed to get home so fast, which is when you find out he TOLD THE COACH YOU GOT IN A CAR ACCIDENT

• YOURE LIKE HUH?!?!!!? he just shrugs and goes “if i said u were ill it would’ve taken me longer to get here, he might not have let me come at all”

• you’re touched, even if toshi is a little scary in his reasoning

• he places a hand to your forehead gently, frowning when it’s boiling

• “You’re burning up Y/N, you’re lucky I came”

• looks at you worriedly, he says you look ‘pallid’, to which you insist youre fine, it’s just a bad cold

• (he, of course, doesn’t care if it’s a ‘bad cold’ he’s still worried and hates seeing you look so small and weak and tired)

• he asks you what you’ve eaten, thrusts a tangerine in your face when you say nothing

• “you’ve got to eat at least something or else you’ll feel worse”

• he’ll just sit there until you eat it, you’re too weak to protest

• after he feels he’s assessed the situation (medical professional he is) he feels you could handle being moved to the living room to watch a movie

• he’ll carry you bridal style to the living room and plop you down on the sofa, jogging to grab blankets to keep you from getting cold

• he also gets a big bottle of water and places it right next to your head where you lay on the sofa, because of course you hadn’t drunk enough today

• he asks you what you want to watch, and when you say you’re not sure, he tells you the name of ever DVD you own just for you to have the full selection

• you settle on Barbie Rapunzel, and he settles down on the floor in front of the sofa to watch with you

• you don’t like him sitting on the ground, so instead he sits with your legs on his lap, blanket barley covering his knees

• your hand reaches for his, and he takes in warmly, thumb rubbing lovingly on the back of your hand

• all throughout the movie he’s making little comments that make you laugh and force feeding you water at regular intervals too

• as the movie continues, you start to get sleepy, which goes unnoticed by toshi bc he’s actually very invested in the film (marry me)

• when he does notice you’ve fallen asleep, he makes a little ‘oh!’ and turns the sound down a little

• he looks at ur little sleepy face surrounded by covers, you look like a sickly little angel

• he squeezes your hand very gently and whispers “I love you, please get well soon.”

hey guys!!! hope u enjoyed my word vomit about how much i love ushijima, reblogs always appreciated! bye love u bye!!!

#ushijima comfort #ushijima fluff #ushijima hcs #ushijima headcanons #ushijima x reader #ushijima x gn!reader #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu comfort #haikyuu!!#haikyu x reader #haikyuu fanfiction #hq x y/n #hq x reader #hq fluff #haikyuu x gn!reader #haikyu x y/n

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mokutone · 2 years ago

Note

I'm drawing Kakashi for the first time (as much as I love them, I rarely ever draw naruto characters so this is a little fun and new for me) and I'm struggling a little bc I'm trying to draw him relaxed, reclining with pakkun (in the way I recline with my cat) and I'm realizing there's something so personal abt drawing him in such a vulnerable pose ig. Like? I'm very tired too rn so maybe I'm being extra emotional and rambly but there are so few scenes of kakashi in canon where he's not wearing the jounin vest, where he's alone and relaxed and out of uniform. And I didn't realize it until I was trying to think back to other similar scenes and there really weren't any. and I'm kind of mesmerized by how you draw him because you capture that so so well, your art is gorgeous but it's also so real and expressive in a way that shows a lot of practice and a lot of love. Idk i think I've said this before and I'm sorry if it's annoying that I'm saying it again (I'll just shut up after this lol) but I went to an art school and I had massive burnout and only really started drawing again in the past 6 months and you were one of my inspirations 2 start drawing again and I'm still not as good as I'd like to be but I draw so much more now and having an actual passion for art has led to a huge improvement, so thank you and thank u for bearing with me and my sleep-deprived rambles. I think my original point got sidetracked. I forgot why i started writing this ask.

dkgjhsdgkjdshg no i think you're 100% right abt the kakashi relaxed thing, even when we see him "relaxed" he doesn't ever really Look relaxed. like

here he is chilling out in the hot springs. this man does not look relaxed but he DOES look exhausted and maybe a little like he's gotten lost. somebody help this confused man find the exit.

anyway art + motivation talk beneath the cut

djhsdkjghsdkjhg thank u for all the compliments abt my art, i do work really hard in order to draw expressive characters, and spend a lot of time paying attention to how the small details in posture and expression change how the character comes across, and im glad it pays off!

also yeah no, similarly, once i left art school (when the pandemic hit) i did have a good 6 months where i did not pick up the pencil even once, and like, usually i feel rlly bad or guilty when i'm not drawing, but my burnout was real bad and i was straight up angry abt everything dgkjhsdgkjh so i just...didn't draw for like 6 months. i didn't even feel bad about it bc i was too busy being angry

and i had a bad relationship with art at the time and eventually realized i kind of had to like? make a different relationship with art—like, try to stop seeing art as something which gave me fundamental worth as a human being, or part of who i am? you know? that's a LOT of pressure to put on just...something that i do. if i took that kind of approach to literally any other task in my life, i'd never do it. imagine thinking that the way and style with which you descend the stairs gives you your worth as a person and if you don't do it exactly right then it means you're worthless as a person? buddy i'd just find a way to go down and out through the window LMAO

i think this is the thing which gives a lot of people burnout, it's exhausting to be constantly working on something and ALSO believe that if you fuck it up even a little, it's because you are the fuckup, and a fundamental failure of a person. god thats so much pressure.

anyway so i decided to make a naruto art blog because i don't even like naruto That Much but my best friend had been trying to get me into it for years (ty kate ilu kate), and so any art that i made would be purely for fun, wouldn't have anything to do with my self worth, and might make kate laugh too, and that's why this blog exists! and taking the pressure off of creating art like that has been enormously helpful to my mental health and my ability to create, also i take breaks alllllll the time, i'm like...way healthier about my art thanks to that, and also just...a nicer person, i think? anyway i'm very glad that i inspired you to get back into art but i'm far more glad that you've found a passion for it, cultivating that passion and joy is so important

#a lot of the way i approach art is bc i worked with kids for a while and like. u can kinda tell when a kid is at the breaking point w/ art #where they're like ''if one more thing goes wrong i am going to Lose It''#+ at that point as a ''teacher'' u have to pick between giving them critique on their artwork to improve OR letting it go + saying their #art is good and they're doing really well #and i always pick the second one—LIKE. once the kid is no longer feeling soooo frustrated abt their art that they're at a breakin point?#THEN we can talk critique. and even then i will still tell them what they're doing well #until theyre at that point tho its all ''yeah!!! you're killing it! look at these new skills you're learning! look how you're improving!''#''look how funny/beautiful/exciting/cool your piece is!!!!''#because first and foremost. i think that art should be enjoyed #having creation as a friend and ally vs A Duty is sooo important #TO BE CLEAR LIKE. this is also still technically a form of critique #i dont just say ''good job champ! great work doing art!'' if u wanna compliment art and have it mean something you do have to be #specific about what is good...not ''that looks great!'' but ''wow you draw really fabulously detailed noses!#or ''wow the fashion you're drawing is really cool—i wish i had that jacket!'' like.#as in all things. compliments and praise are only meaningful if they are /meant/ and you cant fake that #MY POINT IS. if we want to take the pressure off ourselves with art. i think we also gotta treat ourslves like this #look at what we're doing and compliment things we genuinely think weve improved upon. love our successes #nothing better for the ego than to compare new art to old art and look at what weve changed #i should do some redraws at some point #my jutsu

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the-himawari · 2 years ago

Text

A3! Sakisaka Muku - Translation [SR] Like a mirror (2/2)

*Please read disclaimer on blog; default name set as Izumi

---

Izumi: Mmm… (Mosaic art where you arrange stones of all sorts of different colours… The tool is different from when you paint. Using coloured stones to draw is harder than I imagined.) (Muku-kun is…)

Muku: Next up… maybe this colour.

Izumi: (I was worried, but he’s placing the stones just fine.) (…Ah, a shape is slowly forming.) Is that a cat?

Muku: You got it!

Izumi: Wow, you’ve got a knack for this, Muku-kun! It’s looks adorable. Even though it’s stone, it feels it conveys your warmth and softness.

Muku: Wah, thank you very much…!

Option 1: “It’s hard but fun.”

Izumi: Mosaic art is hard but fun.

Muku: Yeah! I’m getting more and more absorbed into it. I mentioned this earlier, but it caught my interest when Kazu-kun was showing me a bunch of different exhibition flyers. Experiencing it myself, I felt the charm of mosaic art even more, and I want to visit a solo exhibit now! Director-san, if you don’t mind, won’t you come with me to an exhibit next time?

Izumi: Sure! I’d love to.

Muku: Thank you! Fufu, I can’t wait.

Option 2: “What colour would work here?”

Izumi: I was thinking of making a flower. What colour would work here?

Muku: Let me see… what do you think about this colour?

Izumi: I see. That looks cute. Yeah, I guess I’ll go with that. Thanks, Muku-kun.

Muku: Not at all! I’m happy that I get to create this art with you too.

Instructor: Oh my, this is… Why, this is just stellar. It came out really well.

Muku: ! Thank you very much…!

Instructor: Is this your first time? You might have talent for this.

Muku: Ehh!

Izumi: That’s great, Muku-kun!

Muku: Ehehe, does this bring me a little closer to my role?

-pause-

Muku: I was able to learn so much from the mosaic art experience.

Izumi: Yeah, same here.

Student: There’s gonna be a lecture held in this hall later on.

Muku: A lecture?

Izumi: Ah, there’s a poster over here. The lecturer is…

Muku: Woah! It’s Yumeka-sensei! They’re the author of a shoujo manga that I love!

Izumi: I know them too! They’re a famous writer, aren’t they?

Muku: I knew they were an alumni of Amabi university, but I never imagined they’d be here to hold a lecture... I’d love to attend it too!

Student: Those who have a numbered ticket, please enter through that entrance.

Muku: Eh…

Izumi: It looks like you need a numbered ticket to go in…

Muku: O-oh, you’re right… It’s too bad, but there’s nothing we can do about that.

Banri: Oh, ain’t it Muku and Director-chan? Did you guys go to a workshop?

Kazunari: How’d it go?

Izumi: Banri-kun, Kazunari-kun.

Muku: …

Banri: ?

Kazunari: Mukkun? You look like someone rained on your parade. Did something happen?

Izumi: The truth is…

-pause-

Banri: I see. Oi, Muku.

Muku: Y-yes.

Banri: Take this. It’s a numbered ticket for the lecture.

Muku: EHH!?

Banri: I was assigned to help take care of a guest at another lecture this time. I got that as thanks for that. I think that’s actually a staff seat ticket? They said two people can enter with 1 of ‘em.

Muku: Eh, but…

Banri: I’m gonna be stationed somewhere else so I originally couldn’t go anyways. I’ll let you have ‘em, Muku. Aight then, I’m heading out. See ya.

Kazunari: Catch you later, Settzer!

Muku: Thank you so much, Banri-san…!

Izumi: Good luck, Banri!

Kazunari: Good for you, huh? Now you can go to the lecture!

Muku: Yeah…!

Kazunari: You know the writer too, don’tcha, Director-chan? You two should go together.

Izumi: Ehh, are you sure?

Kazunari: No give backsies! Have a blast, ‘kay ♪

-pause-

Yumeka: When I draw coloured illustrations, I…

Muku: …

Izumi: (Muku-kun is listening really intently. He’s even taking notes… I’m glad we were able to come.)

-pause-

*applause*

Muku: *Sigh*, that felt like a dream.

Izumi: That was interesting. We got to hear all sorts of different stories. Ah! They’re selling books to be signed by the author after this! It looks like they’ll be signing them in person.

Muku: ! U-um, I’d love to buy one! Is that okay?

Izumi: Yeah, of course! Let’s go!

-pause-

Yumeka: Hi there.

Muku: H-hello! I really love your works, Yumeka-sensei. They always make my heart flutter!

Yumeka: Wow, I’m happy to hear that.

Muku: Can I have your autograph…!

Yumeka: Yes!

Muku: U-um… can I ask you a few questions?

Yumeka: I don’t mind. What would you like?

Muku: You works are so bittersweet and they’re full of lovely plotlines and heart-skipping scenes…! Among them, the scene in "Thunder Love" where Rai-kun and Sora-chan try to convey their feelings for each other—. Did you already come up with that at the beginning of the story? And how did you draw the scene in “Draw a Heart” where Spica-chan summons her magic? A-and also, for the manga being serialized right now…

Izumi: (Woah, Muku’s flooding them with questions…!)

-pause-

Kazunari; Ah, they’re back!

Misumi: Welcome back, Muku, Director-san~.

Yuki: I heard you went to the lecture of a manga author. How was it?

Muku: It was the best thing ever…! I asked them for an autograph too.

Kumon: Seriously! That’s awesome!

Tenma: Good for you, Muku.

Muku: Yeah!

Izumi: (Muku-kun looks satisfied.) (That being said… I wonder if that barrage of questions was helpful for his role study?)

Muku: Yumeka-sensei was such a nice person! Their stories were so interesting, and…

Izumi: (Oh well. He looks really happy, so it’s fine.)

---

previous |

#a3!#a3! translation #sakisaka muku #act! addict! actors!

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emotionallyits2009 · 4 years ago

Text

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :)

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010.

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on.

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

#fic #deancas #destiel

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neocatharsis · 3 years ago

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Ten Lee Talks Art, Dance, and His New Represent Clothing Collection

"So what is the right answer for me? What do I have to do to really be the person I want to be? But then I realized that there's no right or wrong.”

A few days ago, musician and dancer Ten Lee — known for his work in K-pop groups such as NCT and SuperM, and the Chinese group WayV — shared a video of himself freediving in a deep pool. As Billie Eilish croons the opening to “idontwannabeyouanymore,” he launches into a somersault before swan diving easily onto his back, legs fluttering, arms outstretched, a mermaid embracing the open water.

The reason for the dive is a bit of a secret, he tells Teen Vogue, but not one necessarily related to forthcoming music with the groups he’s in. Rather, it’s one way he’s following his own artistic instincts. If he looks like he’s dancing underwater, that’s because he is, bringing to life a picture of a dance move that previously existed only in his head. “I have all these thoughts in my brain right now,” he says, “but I had to make it real.”

Though he floats seamlessly into different combinations of performers onstage, whether as part of the sensual WayV or the chaotic NCT or the maximalist SuperM, Ten has a fluidity and spirit all his own — especially in dance, where he thrives. Born Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul in Bangkok, Thailand, he joined SM Entertainment in 2013, debuting as part of NCT U in 2016. A turning point came in 2017, when he released his first solo single “Dream in a Dream,” a lovely, imaginative ballad that melds traditional East Asian instrumentals with woozy ambient pop, and has mesmerizing choreography to match. It was the first time he talked to the choreographers he worked with and shared his ideas of what he wanted to try. “I realized why all the hyungs sometimes like doing their own stuff,” he says. “It's because you’re putting your ideas in your own work.”

Now, he’s on the cusp of another turning point: earlier this month, he launched a clothing collection with Represent that features all of his original designs. Longtime Ten fans will know he’s into visual art, sharing regal sketches of his cats Leon and Louis and emotive, detailed doodles on his Instagram. (Fun fact: he toyed with the idea of designing cat clothes, but was concerned about how cats would clean themselves.) The new collection shows off his skill, of course, but it’s also a representation of his creative ethos, and who he wants to be as a person.

Titled “What is ??? THE ANSWERS,” the designs are explosive and bright, with symbols and metaphors galore. He draws various eyes, entranced by the way they show happiness, embarrassment, fear, the things people try to hide. In one design, he uses a cross, which has a double meaning: it’s the Chinese character for the number “10” and also a plus sign, representing the growth and potential he sees in himself.

Ten had long wanted to create a clothing brand, and when Represent approached him, he saw an opportunity to try something of his own. As a kid in Bangkok, he’d taken art lessons at the behest of his mom, who believed that studying art would help boost his IQ and improve his education as a whole. He didn’t really like it at the time, until he took the Cambridge IGCSE exam and tested highly in, you guessed it, art. “I was like, ‘Okay, I like art,’” Ten laughs. “Then I started drawing and trying to develop my own style.” Now, he turns to drawing when he’s feeling “negative energy,” like “when you're down or when you feel sad or when you feel like you're not good enough for something.” Drawing is a source of solace, and it also helps him focus and find clarity on more existential matters.

On Instagram, he wrote of the collection, “What inspires me to create these art pieces is to remind myself that there are no actual answers in what we do. I feel like we are creating all the rules and pressure ourselves with the word ‘standards.’ Who defines the standards of what is acceptable or not + what is right or not + what is enough or not??? The boundaries we draw might limit us from creating something we never knew were capable of.”

When he expands upon that Instagram artist statement, it’s with an interesting visual. “People try to make lines on you,” he says. It calls to mind something like Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man, a representation of perfect proportions and clean, graphed segments. An idealized image that hardly ever exists.

“I was thinking about my own stuff, the things I have to do to get what I want, like my goals. And, what people said to me, maybe about [my] appearance or about the skills that I had, or my personality, and they told me to change this, do this. I realized that they're just making their own lines on me. So what is the right answer for me? What do I have to do to really be the person I want to be? But then I realized that there's no right or wrong.”

He connects his drawing to his dancing in one word: freedom. Both allow him to lose himself in the moment of creating something real and personal. But in art, it doesn’t matter so much about finding the right answer, or unifying perfectly with other people the way a highly choreographed dance requires.

“Art is more of an individual pleasure,” he says. “If Mark [Lee, his bandmate] is next to me, and I say like, ‘Hey Mark, do you think that clothing is nice?’ He might say no, but for me it was, ‘Wow, that clothing looks so beautiful.’”

Ten might be homed in on individual artistic expression at the moment, but that doesn't mean that's his sole focus. He also yearns for the day SuperM can reunite after members Baekhyun and Taemin return from their military service. “I will fight for that," he says. "We had so much fun touring and then working with all the hyungs. I hope there's a new project for SuperM to work on once everyone is back."

#nct #wayv #Ten

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buckys-black-dress · 4 years ago

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a fine line, part two

a/n: here she is, our promised part two of afl!!! honestly i love writing this series and it has almost all my fav things in one fic, so yup. anyways, again, thank you for reading/sharing/liking my work !! luv u all, x -ali

wc: 5.8k !!!

The tension in the room was palpable.

And although no one knew you two were working together by verbal confirmation, it was clear from the way you were both reacting.

Bucky was rarely this quiet, so it was obvious what was going on.

Also the fact that you seemed frozen in place.

“Y/N? Everything okay?” Wanda’s soft voice filtered in next to you.

You nodded, trying to break away from James’ gaze.

“Mhm, who’re you working with?” You ask, moving away from the topic at hand.

“Oh, you know Professor Vision? He teaches Comp Sci.” Wanda is now visibly blushing, making you curious.

“Ooh, does Wanda have a crush?” Natasha chimes in as she sidles up next to you two. “I got Banner. How about you, Y/N?”

“I uhh, I got... Barnes.” You mumble under your breath.

“Who? I didn’t catch what you said there.” Natasha’s eyebrows furrowed.

“I... I got Dr. Barnes.” You said, not even daring to look up at your friends.

“...Oh. Well, that should be... interesting...” Wanda comments.

“...Yeah. It’ll probably be fine!” Natasha tries to comfort you, but there’s a stirring feeling in your stomach that almost makes you feel sick.

“He said there was no way to change it... right?” You ask feebly, trying to hold out hope.

“No... and I wouldn’t want to go head to head with Fury.” Wanda frowns.

“Great.” You conclude, taking a deep breath. “You know what, I can do this. It’s fine, I’ll be fine.” You tell the girls, gathering your things and filing out of the office as people began to leave.

Wanda and Natasha were left watching your retreating form, staring at each other.

“I’ll be surprised if they make it to the end of next week.” Natasha says, earning a shove in her arm from Wanda.

Bucky watched you leave the office, and the gears were most definitely turning in his head.

You spent the rest of the week keeping mostly to yourself, trying to mentally prepare for what you’d have to face next week.

In the email sent out by Fury, he explained that you and your partner should have a lesson outlined prior to Monday so you could get right into teaching. He also explained that you would have to share all of your classes, and somehow correlate the two subjects that each professor taught.

English and History, seems easy, right?

Wrong.

Every idea you’ve emailed James has been shot down, and your patience was wearing thin. You didn’t like being unprepared, and the week would be coming to a close soon.

So naturally, you did what anyone else would do, and knocked on James’ office door until he answered.

“I’m comin’ jeez, would ya hold on?” You hear his voice, muffled by the door, until he swings it open, coming face to face with you. “What do you need, Y/L/N?”

“Oh, lovely to see you too, Dr. Barnes. I just wanted to know if you were actually interested in making our lesson plan. If we’re going to be spending the next few weeks together, we might as well have a plan. And I thought your input might be better, since you’re clearly not a fan of what I’ve shown you so far.” You rambled, moving to stand in the middle of his office, laptop in hand.

“You know, maybe if you sent anything good, I would’ve worked with ya on it. But I just don’t think your style of teaching fits me. It’s too... too intimate. You’re too far up your students’ asses. You get too close, too personal with them.” James explains to you.

You can only scoff at this.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed this, James, but my students and I have great relationships. If my students don’t like me, or what I teach, they’ll be more inclined to hand in subpar work. But if I make my expectations clear from the start, they’ll know what they have to do to earn an A in my class. That’s why my first two semesters here have been averaging with A’s all across the board.” You explain as simply as you can, because you felt like James was ridiculing you and the way you teach. You worked hard to get where you are today, and you know that’s why your students love coming to class.

Bucky stared at you for a few seconds, trying to process the information you dropped on him.

“So... your students... like you?” He asks, tentatively, almost.

“...Yes? I know you don’t like me, so it might hard to believe that others do, but I don’t think I’m that unappealing.” You scoff, looking at the floor to avoid Bucky’s eyes. “Anyways, do you have any ideas?”

Bucky’s chest tightened with guilt. After the incident at the bar, he was trying to not be as rude to you. He was trying to be more humane, in Steve’s words.

“I... Maybe we can take a look at some of the stuff you sent before. Maybe if you explain it to me face-to-face I’ll understand it better.” Bucky says, and you nod. “Take a seat, we’re gonna be here a while.”

As a few hours passed, you and James actually started a pretty solid outline for lessons. You started working on your first lesson, which would be the origins of literature. You could both talk about it, and you could both bring different aspects to the table.

“On average, how many kids do you have in your classes, Y/N?” James asks you, and your head snaps up at the mention of your first name. You had a moment where you imagine him calling you that way more often, making your throat run dry.

“Uhm,” you cleared your throat, “my biggest class is about thirty students, maximum.” You tell him.

“Really? My smallest is forty...” He tells you, scratching his chin. “Also very male dominated, I’ve noticed.”

You freeze, trying to process this. It’s only ten more kids... you’ll be fine, right?

“You alright, there, Y/L/N?” James chuckles, to which you let out a weak one. You weren’t used to large crowds, they made you anxious, nervous, like you were losing your footing.

“I-I’m fine. Yeah, all good, let’s get back to work.” You tell him, focusing back on your lesson plan.

“It’s uh, getting a bit late. Thinking we should head home soon.” James looks at you a bit longer, trying to gauge your mood.

“Uh- oh, what time is it?” You ask, squinting and cursing yourself for leaving your glasses in your office.

“It’s almost 7:30...” He tells you.

“Oh, I have to go! Lucy, she’s been all alone, I have to feed her!” In a panic, you begin gathering your belongings.

“Lu- Who’s Lucy?” James asks in clear confusion at your sudden panic.

“My cat! Oh, poor baby, she’s probably wondering where I’ve been...” You trail off, making sure you’ve gathered everything you need.

“W-wait, can I get your number?” James asks, and you both freeze.

“M-my number?” You ask, not bothering to hide your shock.

“Well, we’re gonna need to discuss the lesson plan somehow...” He tells you.

“Oh... well, here...” You pull off a post-it note from the pad on his desk and quickly scribble down your number, handing it to him. “I’m not usually on my phone too much, so if I don’t answer within a few hours, try shooting me an email.” You explain, making your way out the door.

“Have a good night, James.” He hears you say quietly before you turn away from the doorframe, and he hears the resonating shutting of your office door not even five minutes later.

Bucky sits in his chair, not having moved an inch from when you left. He stares at the blue post-it with your number scribbled on it.

He picked it up, inspecting it further.

Your handwriting was neat, but flourishing and borderline cursive because of how quickly you wrote.

Bucky pulls out his phone and inputs the number, saving your contact.

Y/N Y/L/N

He then types out a message:

Just wanted to text you so I wouldn’t lose your number. Hope Lucy is okay.

And he hits send, deciding to pack up his things, trying to understand why he chose to include your cat in his message.

And on your end when you check your phone after parking in your apartment building’s parking, you see a message from an unknown number. You choose to not answer until you’ve made it into your apartment and feed Lucy.

You open your messages, staring at it. Something in your chest fluttered, but you pass it off as your hunger, waiting for your dinner to warm up in the oven.

Hi James. Lucy is fine, thanks for worrying. Have a good night.

You send it off, saving his contact but choosing to not look at your phone until after you’ve finished everything that you needed to do.

After finishing some grading, doing the dishes, and adding to the lesson plan, you decide to settle into bed with a book. You check your phone while brushing your teeth.

James Barnes: Good to hear. Do you think we could work on the lesson plan over lunch tomorrow? Just so we can get ahead of the game.

Y/N Y/L/N: Sounds good. Are we still going to also meet up after classes?

It takes a few minutes before your phone dings again.

James Barnes: Yep. Do you want to just come by my place after? Kind of getting stir-crazy in my office. We could also order food.

You stare at your phone. Are you going crazy? Why is he being so... kind?

Before you could even respond, another ping pulls you back out of your thoughts.

James Barnes: You could also bring Lucy with you, if you don’t want to leave her alone at home for too long.

Okay, now you were sure you were going insane. He was being way too nice. Where was this attitude a year ago, when you’d first met him?

But then again, it wouldn’t hurt, right? You were trying to get out of your comfort zone...

Y/N Y/L/N: Sure, that’s good. Are you sure it would be okay if I brought Lucy? I wouldn’t want to impose on your personal space.

His reply was almost instant.

James Barnes: No, I don’t mind at all. Alpine would love the company.

Before you could even wonder who Alpine was, you remember your previous conversation with Steve once.

‘Bucky also has a cat...’

Y/N Y/L/N: Okay, then I’ll be there. You also have a cat?

James Barnes: Oh, yeah. He’s the sweetest. *1 Attachment.*

Opening the image, you see a fluffy, stark white cat. He had big eyes that anyone would swoon over. You look at the foot of your bed where Lucy is curled up into a ball, fast asleep. You carefully snap a picture, smiling at her.

Y/N Y/L/N: I’ll admit, he’s cute. But can he compete with her? *1 Attachment*

You smile, seeing the typing bubble, waiting for him to respond.

James Barnes: Doll, no one can compete with Al. But I can’t deny, Lucy’s a gem.

Reading over the message at least seven times, your eyes keep lingering over the first word. Doll. It was in a loop in your head, the only thought you were having was that one word.

Why did he call me that? Is he flirting with me? No... he doesn’t even like me! But then why would he be talking to me right now? And why would he send me a picture of his cat...

And now your hands were working faster than your brain, typing out a quick response with your stomach doing backflips.

Y/N Y/L/N: Alright, whatever you say, Bucky. I’m heading to bed, good night.

And you don’t wait for a response before shutting off your phone and plugging it in, putting it on do not disturb and abandoning it on your nightstand, flipping open your book. You were trying to clear your thoughts but miserably failing.

Unbeknownst to you, Bucky responded with a wide smile at the sight of you using his nickname.

James Barnes: Sweet dreams, Y/N.

That night, Bucky fell asleep with Alpine on the pillow next to him, but a wide smile on his face and his stomach full of butterflies.

Little did he know, so were you.

The next day, you woke up feeling like a brand new woman. You got a decent amount of sleep. You got out of bed and made coffee before you left the house. You arrived to school way earlier than usual.

To be honest, you didn’t know what was going on.

James was being nice. To you. Why the sudden change of heart? Or maybe he was going back to acting like an asshole when he sees you in person. You didn’t really know what to expect.

Honestly, what you expected the least was for a knock to be heard on your door, 15 minutes before your first class of the day.

“Come in!” You say, expecting a student or maybe Natasha or Wanda.

But the door swings open, and there’s James. He’s standing there with two paper bags, undoubtedly from the bakery down the street.

“Hi.” He says. Not offering anything. No explanation, no emotion. No indication of our conversation last night.

“Hi. Did you need something?” You ask, and for once, it wasn’t in a dismissive or cold tone.

“Uh, no. Just wondering if you’ve eaten anything yet today?” James asks, holding up the bags in his hand.

“Uhm... no...” You tell him, not understanding why he was asking.

“Oh, well I have an extra croissant, if you’d like.” He holds up the bags once again.

“Sure, you can sit in here to eat if you’d like...” You offer, not sure of the water you were treading in.

“Oh, thanks.” He sits down and you both pull out the pastries and start eating. “So, how’s Lucy today?” James asks, a slight smirk on his face. You honestly couldn’t tell if he was making fun of you or not.

“Uh, she-she’s good. Clingy as usual. How’s Alpine?” You return the question.

“Same for him, also clings to me like a koala when I leave, I always feel bad, but I don’t really have a choice.” You both giggle at the remark, nodding in agreement.

“I understand. Lucy’s still a kitten too, so she’s been getting attached a lot. But I think I need her just as bad as she needs me.” You tell him, and you don’t know why.

“Oh... no boyfriend?” James asks, and now you really can’t tell if he’s pulling your leg.

“Oh-” You giggle, covering your mouth. “That’s funny. No, no boyfriend.” You continue to laugh until you fall back into silence, and James is just watching you.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, genuinely perplexed at your reaction.

“James, I don’t think either of us are idiots. I don’t think I come off as girlfriend material to most guys.” You laugh again.

It became quiet, and you look back to your computer, ready to end this awkward conversation. You knew you had your insecurities, but it had always been hard for you to put yourself out there. Especially for guys. Your anxiety and introverted nature really put a pause on your already non-existent dating life.

Besides, you’ve always been alone. And you didn’t think that would be changing any time soon.

“Okay, well I’m gonna head out. I have a class to prepare for. See you tonight?” James asks, getting up from his seat across from you.

“Y-Yeah, I’ll see you then. Could you text me your address and what time I should be there?” You ask, also gathering your lecture notes and laptop.

“Sure thing, Y/N. Bye.” He waves, leaving. As soon as he steps out, you hear the clicking of heels against the laminate flooring.

“Why was Bucky in here?” Natasha’s gravelly voice asks, looking confused as ever.

“He just brought me a croissant, we were talking about our lesson plan for next week.” You explain to her. “Walk with me to my lecture?” You ask, pointing out the door.

“Sure,” she agrees, waiting for you to lock the door, “so, have things been... civil between you two?” Natasha asks tentatively.

“Actually, yes. He’s not all that bad. I’m going to his place after classes to work on the lesson plan, he asked me yesterday to even bring Lucy over so she could meet Alpine.” You tell her.

“Oh- wow, really? He’s being so... nice to you...” She responds.

“I-I know... I don’t understand why... He made it clear he doesn’t really enjoy my company.” You respond.

“Yeah... Well, this is new. I hope he keeps up with it.” She pats you on the shoulder as you reach the lecture hall.

“Yeah, me too.” You say, turning to her before going in.

“Hey, can I stop by your office for something at lunch?”

“Sure, see you then!” You tell her, setting up for your class.

Lunch time comes around, and Natasha was already waiting for you when you finished your class by lunchtime. You remembered James also asking to come by to eat with you and work, so you tried to make it quick with Natasha.

“So, you and Bruce already finished your lesson plans?” You ask, looking for a booklet she needed.

“Yeah, he’s fun to work with. Kinda a nerd, but he knows his shit.” She says, smiling and leaning against your desk. “Any reason you’re in a rush?” She asks, catching you off guard.

“Oh, uh, James is coming to eat here so we can get ahead on the lesson.” You tell her, looking back through your drawer.

“That’s... interesting.” Natasha’s brows were drawn together. “You two seem to have a lot of time allotted together.”

“Well, we have only a little of our lessons done, and we really don’t want to show up unprepared. You know how much I hate that.” You tell her, finally finding what she needed.

Outside your office, James was just about to walk in when he heard your voices.

“Yeah... Just wondering, did he ever... apologize for what he said that one night?” Nat asks.

“Uhm, n-no. He’s been really kind to be as of late, so I’m assuming we’re turning a new leaf... But he makes me... nervous sometimes. Just a few days ago, he wouldn’t even look at my lesson plan ideas. He looked like he would rather violently bash his skull in than work with me. I’m just- I’m confused. What made him change his mind?” You think out loud, really wondering if James’ behavior was genuine.

“Y/N, I know you’ve been through a lot, but I think you should give him a chance. Don’t be so weary. If he’s being nice, don’t question it. I don’t know why he was like that with you from the beginning, but you shouldn’t have to beat yourself up over the fact that he’s actually treating you with respect.” Natasha puts her hand over yours, meeting your gaze.

“Y-Yeah. I know. I know I deserve respect, but it’s been hard lately. Ever since my family stopped talking to me, I feel like a failure. They don’t understand that I deserve that respect either. They think teaching is a shit job, they think I won’t get anywhere in life with it. I’m just sick and tired of them acting like I didn’t work hard to get where I am today.”

I talked to my brother the other day, and he said the same thing they’ve been saying since I started my PhD. ‘You’re not gonna get anywhere with this, you should get a boyfriend, we want grandkids.’ Like, okay! I get it! But where the hell am I supposed to find a guy when the cute one doesn’t even like me!? And my last boyfriend was in my undergrad. I feel a like teenager. I have literally no romantic life.” You huff out, absolutely tired of this.

“I- Y/N, I’m so sorry. You deserve a family that’s supportive of you and your passions. I hope Wanda and Carol and I have maybe helped you, kind of like a work family, y’know?” She holds your hand tighter. “We’ll always be here for you.”

You smile, walking around your desk to hug her.

“Thank you, Nat. I appreciate you all so much. I don’t think you’ll ever really know.” You hug her tightly before letting go. “James should be here any minute now, but we’ll talk more after class?”

“You betcha, but don’t think I forgot what you said... Maybe he does like you.” She says, and your face turns beet red.

“Natasha, no. I think he’s made it very clear he’s not into me. Like, at all. I’m surprised we’re even working together. I didn’t think he would cooperate.” You laugh. “Okay, seriously, you gotta go. I don’t want him to walk in on us talking about him.”

“Okay, okay, talk later. Bye, Y/N.” She says, making her way out, and Bucky pushes himself against the wall, hoping she wouldn’t see him.

“Don’t forget what we talked about, yeah?” She says to him, not even looking back. Natasha only stops when she doesn’t hear his response, turning around. “Listen to me, Bucky. We may be friends, but so are Y/N and I. I don’t know if it was me or Steve who finally knocked some sense into the dumb head of yours, but if she comes to me again, crying, telling me she can’t take it from you anymore, I promise; you’ll be off this faculty faster than you can say ‘tenure.’ Now, am I understood, Barnes?” Natasha concludes, completely in Bucky’s personal space.

“I- yes. I understand.” He gulps, looking down at his hands. “I-I’ve been trying. To be nice to her. I know what I did before was wrong, but I’m trying, okay? Steve and I had a... a long talk.”

“Yeah, whatever. This better not just be a one-time-thing. From here on out, I want no complaints from her. She’s been through enough shit, and she doesn’t need any more from you. I have somewhere to be, and so do you.” Natasha says, parting ways and letting Bucky release a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

He composes himself one last time, and walks into your office.

“Hi, James.” You give him a soft smile, “Take a seat, we’ve got work to do.”

When your last lecture finished, you made your way home to get what you needed to head to James’ apartment. He’d texted you the address and told you you could come by any time after 6:30.

You were thinking back on your lunch break with him. He was quiet, almost nervous to be sitting in front of you, and you couldn’t understand for the life of you why.

It was uncharacteristic of him to be so demure, and you wonder why he was suddenly so shy. Before, he wouldn’t have hesitated to make a remark, or take a jab at you. But now, he was quiet as a mouse.

It was concerning, to say the least.

So, on your way to his apartment, which was a solid 15 minutes drive, you call Natasha for advice.

“Hey. Can I talk to you about something?” You ask while you drive.

“Yeah, everything alright?” Natasha’s voice filters through your car’s speakers.

“Oh, I’m fine, but did something happen with James? He was acting so... odd today... He was so quiet, so nice. His behavior has been so different lately.” Your brows were furrowed, genuinely trying to crack this puzzle.

“Uh... well, isn’t it a good thing?” She asks.

“I mean, yes, but did someone say something to him?” You ask, puzzled.

“Uh, no...” lie, “maybe he’s just turning over a new leaf, Y/N. I think you should stop worrying yourself over it so much. And if you really want answers, just confront him about it.” Natasha concludes.

“...Okay. You’re right. I think I’m just reading too much into this. I need to go, I’m almost there. Thanks, Nat.” You tell her.

“Bye, Y/N. Good luck.” And the line goes dead.

“Looks like it’s just me and you now, Luce.” You look over at her carrier in the seat next to yours, where she’s curled up into a ball inside.

Once you park and text James to let him know you’re on your way up, you sling your laptop bag over your shoulder and grab Lucy’s carrier.

As you make your way inside, you stop at the concierge desk, where an older man with grey hair and glasses greets you. His name tag reads Stan.

“Hi, I’m here to see James Barnes?” You tell him, looking at the grandiosity of the lobby.

“Ah, yes, Ms. Y/L/N?” He asks, and you nod. “He said he was expecting you. Not that I don’t trust you, but I just need a form of ID before I can let you up.” You nod again, handing over you driver’s license.

He hands it back, giving an approving nod.

“Elevators are to the right, he’s in 12B.” Stan tells him, and you give him appreciative ‘thank you’ before you scurry to the elevator.

When you knock on his door, it takes a second for him to open it, a faint ‘Al, one second!’ resonating through the door, making you snort out a laugh.

“Hey, sorry about that. Come in,” Bucky finally appears, swinging his door wide open.

You walk in, setting down Lucy and taking your shoes off.

“So, is Alpine friendly with other cats?” You ask, weary of unzipping the carrier.

“Of course he is. Why wouldn’t he be?” He asks, but stops when he sees your expression fall.

“S-Sorry, I wasn’t trying to imply anything, It’s just- Lucy’s a bit shy, but she typically likes other cats.” You say, looking down at her.

“I-I’m sorry- that was rude. I wasn’t trying to sound like an ass, I swear. Alpine’s friendly with other cats, but he needs a little time to warm up to other people. Don’t take it personally if he isn’t too fond of you at first.” He laughs, directing you to his couch where Alpine was perched.

“Oh, hi baby!” You coo, holding out your hand to Alpine. He tentatively inspects you with his eyes, first, and then sniffs you. He then, his head buts against your hand, asking for affection.

Bucky’s eyebrows shoot up, shocked at how friendly Alpine was being. He barely even looked at Steve and Sam when they come by. But here he was, purring and shoving himself against you.

“Well, I think Lucy won’t have a problem with him at all.” You smile, bringing the carrier over to the end of the couch and unzipping it, letting Lucy move at her own pace.

At first, she just wearily looks at Alpine and the unfamiliar setting. She then looks at you, where you encouragingly coo at her, making sure she was comfortable.

Bucky gazes at the whole scene with a soft look, watching as Lucy slowly saunters out of the carrier, sniffing Alpine and the couch. Soon enough, Alpine sniffs back, and they start playing with each other, forgetting their owners completely.

You both laugh at how well they were getting along, and the contrast between the black and white furs making it that much better.

“Well, should we get started?” You ask, finally turning to Bucky with a big smile.

In that moment, his throat goes dry, and all he can think is... She has a beautiful smile.

“James? Everything alright?” You ask, breaking him out of his trance.

“I- Yes! Sorry, got distracted for a minute... Would you prefer Italian or Chinese for dinner?” He asks, shaking his head and trying to change the subject.

“Uhm, I don’t mind, whatever you’d like.” You smile, grabbing your laptop.

“So... Italian, then?” He asks with a light laugh.

“Sure.” You answer. “Where can we sit to work?”

“Oh, the table’s fine, we can eat while we work, too. Let me go order really quick.” He excuses himself after pointing to his dining table, and heading into the kitchen.

When Bucky reaches the kitchen, he takes a second to compose himself. He pinches in between his brows, his eyes squeezed shut. He didn’t know why he was acting like a teenager, he felt himself get flustered around you.

After he pulls himself together, he orders the food and comes back outside, finding you focused on something extremely intently on your screen.

“James, what do you think for something like this for a more interactive activity?” You ask, turning your computer to him, waiting for him to read the plan, biting your lip nervously.

“This- this is awesome, doll. This looks really good, the students would love this.” He tells you, reading over it one more time.

“O-Oh, thanks.” You thank him shyly, stomach fluttering while looking down at your lap again.

Suddenly, the doorbell rings, breaking the silence.

“Oh, the food-” James moves to grab his wallet, but you grab his wrist, stopping him.

“James, you’ve already been so hospitable, let me get it-” You say, but he shakes off your hand and shakes his head.

“No, I can’t let you do that, I insist,” he responds, beating you to the door and handing the delivery man his card, letting him ring it up quickly.

You huff, sitting back down in your spot with a pout.

“James, you suck,” you huff, visibly annoyed. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“Well, I did. Now, let’s eat. You good with red wine?” He asks, pulling out two wine glasses.

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You say, unpacking the food as he pours some wine.

As he sets down some plates, he sees your expression still pouty, like a child.

“Y/N, stop pouting.” You look so cute. “You can get it next time.” I wish I could kiss you.

“Oh, there’s gonna be a next time?” You ask, your face turning red yet again.

“I mean, we’re going to have to make more lesson plans, depending on how long Fury keeps this up.” He laughs, but you freeze at his words.

It’s true, you think to yourself, we’re probably going back to how it was before when this is all over. That’s probably why he’s being nice to me.

“Hey, you alright? Did I say something?” James asks, a concerned look on his face.

“N-No, you’re good. Sorry. Ready to eat?” You ask, changing the subject.

“Yeah... You sure everything’s okay?” He asks again, trying to make sure.

“James, everything is okay, please. Let’s just eat.” You smile, placing a hand over his in reassurement.

Dinner was delicious, and now you and James were sipping on wine while working, occasionally checking on Lucy and Alpine.

“Hey, do you think a group project could work? I usually give some to my students, I have a template I follow, but you could change it to your liking-” James tells you, but you cut him off with your thoughts.

“James, can I ask you a question?” You ask, hovering a hand over his.

“S-Sure. What’s up?” He sounds weary.

“You know, before we started this project, you like... loathed me.” You say. “Why?” Your voice breaks at that last word, barely getting it out of your throat.

“I... I just-” He takes a deep breath and looks down, grabbing your hand, “I thought you were... snobby, stuck up. I thought you came to this school thinking you were better than everyone else, that you were here to one-up us all.”

And before you could cut him to deny it with your shaking head, he continues.

“And I know now that I was wrong. I-I’m so sorry for the way I spoke to you, especially at the bar. After you left and Steve took me home, he basically yelled at me and told me how what I thought of you was completely off. I shouldn’t have assumed all those things about you, and I’m sorry. I hope you can forgive me, one day.” He concludes, holding onto your hand so tightly to convey just how sorry he was.

“I- Oh, James. Y-You know, I never meant to come off that way. I just- I’ve always had trouble making friends and talking to people, and things have been hard recently. I never meant to make you o-or anyone else, for that matter, to feel that way. I’m so sorry.” You say, tears prickling behind your eyes.

“Y/N, doll.” James moves out of his seat, wrapping you in his arms. “I can’t even tell you how much I wish I was more open-minded, more patient. Ever since Steve and Nat have talked to me, I’ve been just-”

“Nat? What has Natasha told you?” You stop him, pulling away.

“She- she just told me to stop. She told me you’ve been going through a lot, and that I wasn’t making it any better for you so-”

“Did she say what? Why would she tell you about my personal life-” You begin to ramble and waving your hands around.

“Doll, no she didn’t-”

“She had no right to say-”

But before you could continue, Bucky cuts you off.

With his lips.

Against yours.

Bucky was kissing you.

Oh my god, he’s kissing me!

You pull away looking at him in utter shock.

“Wh- What did you do that for?”

“I just- You were rambling, but I didn’t know how else to stop you.” James says, a blush creeping up his neck.

“So you kissed me?” You ask incredulously.

“Uh- yes?” He says, more like asks.

“I uh... I have to go.” You say, looking anywhere but his eyes as you gather your items, hunting down Lucy and putting her in her carrier; much to her protest and distaste.

“Y-Y/N, please, don’t go. Let’s just talk!” James pleads, but you’re not listening.

“N-No, I’m sorry, I have to go. I’ll see you in class next week. Bye, James.” You huff out, running to the nearest stairwell.

A part of you wanted him to run after you, but you needed time to process... whatever that was.

Did he kiss you because he liked you? Or because he wanted to shut you up?

You cut the drive home into half, the first thing you do after getting through your door is calling Natasha.

“Nat, I fucked up...” Your voice was weak through the phone.

And back in Bucky’s apartment, he dialed Steve’s number.

“Steve, I fucked up... real bad.” He meekly provides, his head in his hands.

a/n: oh boy. what’s gonna happen ??? hmmm... let me know down below! hope you guys enjoyed ;)

also, did y’all peep my stan lee cameo? :)

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky imagine #bucky barnes fic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes series #prof!bucky #professor!bucky #prof!bucky x prof!reader #college professor au #enemies to lovers #bucky and alpine #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fluff

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starkeristheendgame · 4 years ago

Note

Hi! Are you still taking prompts? If yes, can you do a Starker one, where Tony is oblivious, and Peter doesn't know what to do, and ask for help to a close friend of Tony and they try to make him jealous by pretending to date and Tony is like of course he is with him he's everything i'm not and having a total breakdown and peter realize that they hurt tony instead and ask for forgivenes and end up together, pleasee? Thank you! If you aren't please just ignore this!

Against my better judgement, my prompts are never closed! Thank you so much for this super sweet/angsty prompt, Nonnie! I realised after finishing this that I never directly included Peter asking for forgiveness, but I hope this feeds you just the same! ❤

TW: Angst | Hurt/Comfort | Self-worth issues | Jealousy | Alcohol mention

SFW

Harley Keener is two years Peter’s senior and nicer than Peter could have ever imagined. When Tony had first started to talk about the ‘the first one he pseudo-adopted’ and how Harley had grown into more of a ‘mini me’ than he could’ve imagined, Peter had felt an uncomfortable twist in his gut.

What if Harley was better than him?

What if Tony liked Harley more?

What if, with Harley around, Tony didn’t want Peter around anymore?

He needn’t have worried, though. Harley wasn’t as ‘outwardly’ nerdy as he was, but he was more than happy to gush over the latest Star Wars LEGO offerings, and Tony snarked them both in equal measure. It was surprisingly like having another Ned around, and it took less than a week for Peter to feel stupid for having worried about his place besides the two of them.

Tony even joked that Harley was the ‘prototype’ and Peter was the ‘updated model’, to which Harley had just rolled his eyes, knocked Tony’s spanner off the table like a cat and gone straight back to talking to Peter about ComicCon.

They became fast friends, and Peter supposed that was somewhat why he tended to forget there was a second person in the lab with them here and there, starkly (heh) reminded of it when Harley flopped down next to him on the penthouse couch one evening and said; “so how long have you been in love with Tony?”

He could have cried. The Avengers he was around almost every other day for the past two years brushed off his doting as a hero complex and ‘mentor crush’ and it had taken Harley Keener less than three weeks to call him out on its true nature.

Naturally and mortifyingly it ended up with Peter sniffling against Harley’s shoulder, wailing about how Tony was out of his league, how every single possible thing that could was against them, and how worst of all; Tony wasn’t interested.

“He’s interested,” Harley had shrugged, gingerly plucking a tissue from the box and holding it out to him. He’d been somewhat cryptic about the basis of his statement, but had enthusiastically proposed a manner of ways in which it could be proven. And Peter…

Peter agreed to one.

He didn’t know why. He wasn’t exactly a glutton for punishment and he certainly didn’t get his kicks out of being humiliatingly, crushingly rejected, but...But Harley had said so make jealous. Tony always wants everything, and when he thinks he can’t have something he just tries harder to get it and Peter had inexplicably said yes.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, Peter didn’t quite know which) the only real, viable option was...Harley himself. None of the other Avengers would work; since they were all taken, straight and/or highly unlikely to be receptive to fake-dating a teen half (or more) their age.

Neither Ned or MJ had access to the Tower or could really be around any SHIELD, Stark or Avengers activity, and that left quite literally no-one else but Harley.

“I mean, in a way, its perfect. I’m the grandmaster of the plan anyway, and you don’t have to wordy about hurting my feelings or me falling for you. We can collaborate flawlessly to get you some Grand-Daddy dick,” Harley hummed around the stick candy in his mouth, and Peter wasn’t quite sure what part of that sentence offended him the most.

“Does literally nobody want me?” he pouted, bottom lip pushed out dramatically as he kicked Harley’s leg out of the way and picked up the PS5 controller.

“Hey, chin up, munchkin. You’re prettier than half the girls I know. I’m just not wired that way.”

“You’re straight?”

“I’m not anything. It’s like asexuality and aromantic, but both,” Harley pulled a face, clearly trying to remember the term, then shrugged. “Ah, I can never remember it. Anyway, point is, I’m not interested in anyone. You’re a little cherub, for sure, but you’re cute like a cat, not suck-my-dick cute.”

And, well. Cute like a cat? He considered that a high compliment.

Thus, Operation Get That Grand-Daddy Dick (Peter did not name it) was underway. They both agreed to keep it natural and subtle, since Tony walking in on them half-naked or all over each other was just likely to spook him off. They’d edge into it; hint that they were spending more time together, act a little cosier, maybe get caught holding hands after a week or two.

In truth, it wasn’t all that different to how they had been before, except that Harley made his smiles even softer, a little more secretive and let his gaze linger when he was sure Tony would notice. They sat and stood closer together than before, and here and there Harley would press a lingering hand to his back or arm.

They made sure when one or both left they secreted away just out of sight and took a little too long, standing close together by the elevator and making sure to hug ‘longingly’ (whatever that meant in context) should Tony happen to peek.

And yet for all his smarts, Tony didn’t seem to particularly notice anything amiss until the first time that he spotted them ‘romantically hugging’. Harley was actually a very good hugger, and they stood in front of the elevator together, with Peter facing it and Harley facing the lab. Harley had his chin over Peter’s shoulder and his hands low and tight on his waist, holding him close.

“Spotted,” Harley whispered quietly, and moments later Tony spoke up.

“Well that looks cosy.”

Tony’s voice was carefully level, no betrayal of emotion as Peter shyly disentangled himself from Harley, taking a step away as though caught doing something he shouldn’t. He didn’t have to fake the heat in his cheeks when he glanced up at where Tony stood, arms folded, and he fumbled with the strap of his backpack, glancing across at Harley before he gave Tony a meek smile.

“Um, I’ll-- I’ll see you Friday, Mr. Stark!” he chirped, shuffling around Harley and into the elevator. Tony was still staring at him as the doors began to close, and Harley turned, casting him a wink and a finger-waggling wave. Peter waved back sheepishly and the moment the doors were shut, he whipped out his phone.

[To: Thing 1] Did he look mad? It looked like he looked mad. Omg. U gotta tell me anything he says :// [19:31]

Harley did in fact text him back two hours later, though there wasn’t much to report. Tony had made a few flippant remarks that could either be parental interest or slight jealousy, and had dropped the subject after a short while in order to focus on his latest project.

Peter slumped. There was snails who had a faster moving love life than he did. With a groan, he stuffed the last of his anxiety snacks in his mouth and flopped back against his pillow to discuss the next step with Harley.

Social media was their next plan of attack. Tony followed Peter on Instagram and Twitter, and had his Snapchat even if the older man rarely used the platform, so they were going to up the pressure by hanging out outside of the lab (which they did anyway) and posting it to social media.

It was too soon to cancel plans with Tony to hang out with Harley (and frankly, Peter didn’t want to anyway) so they simply both made themselves unavailable on certain other days, or hung out together without mentioning it to Tony beforehand.

They got ice cream at the park, went to the art museum downtown, visited several different cultural/ethnic based stores and went to the arcade to kick ass at air hockey over the course of a few weeks, all while keeping up the poorly secretive touching and closeness at the lab.

And he’d still have more luck getting blood from a stone.

Tony seemed...Either completely oblivious, or just completely unphased. Whilst Peter caught him watching them here and there with an unreadable expression, Tony never directly asked them or overtly commented on what was happening. There was the odd, “enjoy the park yesterday, kid?” or “saw your post the other day, you should try this place next,” but never anything along the lines of what Peter hoped for.

Even Harley was starting to doubt his original statement that Tony was definitely interested.

Especially when Tony was the one who started cancelling plans, telling them both to ‘go enjoy themselves’ and ‘live the lives of young people’. He didn’t do it all the time, but here and there they’d both receive a text telling them not to come today. The lingering looks got longer and more weighted, but even so, Tony made no move in either aspect.

“I think I’m just gonna have to give it up,” Peter admitted to Harley one night over the phone, hanging upside down in his bedroom with the phone dangling on a web besides him.

“Maybe he’s just not ready for anything right now?” Harley suggested on the other end, between the frantic sounds of tapping buttons.

“Maybe-- Oh, hang on. I’ve got an inbound from JARVIS. It might be Avengers stuff,” Peter hummed, quickly twisting to tap on the screen to accept the incoming call from JARVIS.

“Hey, J. What’s up?” He greeted the AI, blinking at the call screen.

“Apologies for the disturbance, Mr. Parker, but protocol deems that when Mr. Stark is in distress I establish contact with someone on his emergency list in order to inform them.” The AI’s voice was as smooth and unhurried as ever, but Peter frowned at the screen.

“Distress?”

“Yes, Mr. Parker. Sir’s heart-rate is elevated and he is displaying significant symptoms of sadness, including light drinking, darkened lighting and angered viewing of your social media.”

“Angered viewing of my social media?” Peter echoed, fear ratcheting up as he dropped from the ceiling and moved to tug on a pair of shoes. Fuck, had he let something sip? Was there something in the background of his photos? Had someone figured out who he was? He was hopping towards the door on one foot when JARVIS spoke again, and he had to hop back to pull his phone down from the web.

“Why is he sad over that? Did I do something wrong?”

JARVIS was silent for a short while, as though the AI was debating on how best to respond.

“I... Believe Sir may be feeling lonely. Or unworthy of company. There have been a multitude of such instances over the past several years,” JARVIS replied after a pause, as Peter locked the web shooters around his wrist and tugged the Spiderman mask over his head to avoid any cameras, crawling out of his window and leaping out into the brisk air.

It didn’t take long to swing to the Tower, especially not when panic and concern had him pushing it, testing his muscles and leaving him slightly out of breath by the time he slipped onto the top landing console.

JARVIS directed him through to the penthouse and up the set of 12 steps that lead to the ‘upper level’ of it, to an open doorway that revealed Tony Stark sprawled out on his bed, staring blankly at his phone with a neglected, half-open bottle of whiskey loose in one arm, like a newborn babe.

“Mr. Stark?” he asked softly, and Tony’s gaze flit up to him, clearing immediately. His mentor cursed and jerked upright, almost sloshing the whole bottle over his bedding.

“Shit! Kid! Wh’r you doin’ here?” Tony’s voice was just hinting on slurred, the same easiness and lack of concentration that came when you’d had a shot too many. Or five. Peter’s heart cinched as he stared at Tony gingerly putting the bottle on the bedside table, at the redness of his eyes and the messiness of his hair where he’d been running a hand through it, over and over.

“JARVIS called me. He said you were sad,” Peter managed after a moment, hands wringing the mask between his fingers nervously. He’d never seen Tony like this, this...uncomposed. He looked haggard, tired and sad, and it made Peter feel empty and adrift, unsure of how to approach this new version of the man he loved.

“Fucking snitch,” the older man grumbled half-heartedly, and rubbed his hands over his eyes. “Shit. Don’t-- Ignore me, kid. Adults my age are entitled to a night like this once in a while. Go back home, I’m fine. Fuck, you didn’t leave Harley for this, did you?”

“Harley?” Peter parroted, brows furrowing as Tony waved a hand.

“Go on, kid. Get. Make the most of being young and pretty with someone young and pretty.” Tony reached for the bottle again and Peter found himself striding across the room, placing himself in the way of Tony’s outstretched hand and the whiskey. Tony’s fingertips brushed his stomach and recoiled like he’d been burnt by the contact.

“Mr. Stark, do you think I don’t want to hang out with you anymore?” he asked after a moment, voice fragile. God, he’d hoped to maybe make Tony a little jealous, but nothing like this. He hadn’t wanted to hurt him. And he clearly had. There was nothing but rawness in Tony’s eyes when the older man looked up at him.

“I’m not taking it personally,” his mentor attempted to joke, but it came out bitter and too flat to land lightly. Peter’s heart cinched in his chest and he shuffled to sit on the edge of the large bed, teeth on his lower lip as Tony turned away from his gaze.

“Mr. Stark, I’ve never...I’ve never not wanted to hang out with you. Even if I have other friends, too,” he pointed out tentatively, and Tony scoffed lightly.

“You’re too good for a world like this, shortstack. For someone like me. You should be trailing after someone like Captain Uptight,” Tony muttered lowly, and Peter scowled.

“You’re not less better than he is. Both of you are good people. Both of you make mistakes. Both of you save the world.”

Tony’s brows pinched, and he breathed out something that just barely sounded like then why aren’t I good enough?

Making an executive decision, Peter toed off his sneakers and crawled further up onto the bed, picking up Tony’s arm and settling down against his side, curling up under his arm and wrapping his own around Tony’s waist.

He could feel Tony’s heart thumping wildly in his chest, could feel his breath hitch and the hesitant way that Tony let his arm settle over Peter, fingers curling in his hoodie.

“You are,” he offered simply, squeezing gently. “This is my fault. I was acting like a dumb kid, and I thought... I should’ve known that it was just gonna end badly.”

“Is being my mini-me really that bad?” Tony choked out, and Peter pushed himself upright, alarmed.

“What? No! Mr. Stark, being around you is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t ever ever regret being around you! I just... I have to…” He trailed off for a moment, frustrated, then prayed to Harley for forgiveness and sucked in a deep breath.

“I’m not actually dating Harley. At all. He doesn’t like people that way. Any people. We’re not boyfriends and I don’t want to stop spending time with you to spend time with him. I like spending time with you and you’re still my hero. Tony Stark or Iron Man,” he stated firmly.

Tony looked at him for a moment, then looked away.

“You should be with Harley, kid. Or someone like him. Not someone like me. Not someone with my history. I’m a shit person, kid. All this Iron Man stuff hasn’t even wiped half my scoreboard clean. Someone like Harley... He’s the better parts of me. Like you. He’s worth your love”.

Tony seemed almost startled at saying that word, twitching a little before he attempted to turn away from Peter again, gaze finding the far end of the room like he wished he was anywhere but here.

Peter fidgeted, then sucked in a deep breath. “Please don’t hate me after this,” he fumbled out quickly, then rolled half on top of the older man, hands fisting in the front of his shirt as he leaned forwards.

The kiss was awkward and clumsy and couldn’t have lasted for than two seconds before Tony pulled away, eyes wide and voice rough.

“Kid, what-- You can’t--”

“If you say you’re not interested, I’ll respect that,” Peter interrupted. “Or if you say I’m too young or whatever. But if you say anything along the lines you of not being enough, or not being worthy, or-- or-- Or whatever it is you feel you aren’t... You’re wrong. The reason me and Harley were acting like that is because I was trying to make you jealous.”

“What-”

“And I know its dumb! I don’t it was childish and I never thought it would hurt you like this. But I’ve lo-- I’ve really liked you. For years. And I know you’re a lot older and we might never be able to be...To be...Normal. I guess. But I want whatever I can get with you, because you’re worth it,” Peter barrelled on, desperate to at least be heard before Tony kicked him out. Except when he trailed off Tony was just... Staring at him.

“It’s just... Hero worship. You still think I’m some magical superhero and you--”

“No offence, Mr. Stark, but you don’t know what I think. Not when it comes to you, clearly,” Peter cut in, cheeks heating at being so brash. Prior to this he wouldn’t have ever dreamed about being so direct and forceful against Tony.

Well. Not in any PG-rated sense, anyway.

“Just... We don’t have to talk about it now, okay?” eh offered, sliding off Tony just a little so he was back up against his side, wriggling around until he could grab the faux fur throw on the bottom of the bed, pulling it up over both of them. Tony remained quiet at his side, just watching as he got them both settled.

“Just... I’m gonna stay, alright? Right here. With you. Because this is where I want to be, and its where I’m gonna stay until... Until you tell me to leave.” His lower lip threatened to wobble with mounting emotion as he lay his head on Tony’s chest, feeling the thick ridges of his scars beneath his shirt.

A moment later, Tony’s hand settled lightly over his head, fingers sliding tentatively into his hair.

“And if I never tell you to leave? If I’m selfish and never want to let you go?” the other man whispered.

“Then I guess that makes us both selfish, because that would make me happy,” Peter mumbled into his chest, wrapping his arm tighter around Tony’s waist. The room went silent for a while, save for their breathing and Tony’s heart thumping beneath his ear.

“Okay,” Tony rasped after a moment, and Peter smiled.

“Okay, Hazel Grace.”

“...What?”

“Nevermind. You’re too old for that reference.”

“You’re a little shit.”

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before-we-get-started · 4 years ago

Text

Dream Come True

Colin Shea x O/C Corinne MacAdam

Multi-Chapter Story - Complete

Summary: Colin Shea and his band Rock the Cradle are finally making it big - until something unexpected happens. When he meets a girl that makes him reconsider his player ways, he thinks his life may be coming together, until she blows it apart.

Warning: Bad language, smut, suicidal ideations - no one under 18, please

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please do not read if you are underage. I do not own the character of Colin Shea; the rest are my original characters. By reading beyond this point, you understand the disclaimers as posted.

Chapter Four

Cori’s dad set down the last box on the kitchen counter. She couldn’t believe she was finally moving into a new apartment.

“This is it kiddo,” he said, wrapping her up in a hug. She smiled into his shoulder and hugged him back.

“Thank you so much Daddy.” She watched her father’s face spread into a smile.

“Corinne, I can’t tell you how happy we are for you. You’re getting a fresh start. The world is your oyster, you know.”

She wrinkled up her nose. “I hate oysters,” she said with a giggle.

“Well, you never know, there might be a beautiful pearl inside.” He kissed her on the forehead.

Cori walked him to the door, the daunting task of unpacking ahead of her. She opened the door to see him off and stopped in her tracks. Directly across the hall at apartment 6A, a guy clad only in flowered boxers had a blonde in a tight embrace, kissing her passionately. She pulled away from the guy and said goodbye.

“Bye April,” the guy said with a wave.

“Annie.” There was irritation in her voice.

“Annie, right. Bye Annie.”

As the blonde huffed down the stairs, Cori got a good look at her new neighbor. Tall, fit, a bad case of bedhead but adorable. His upper body was chiseled muscle, his legs long and sexy. He suddenly realized she was standing in her door and gave her the once-over. He licked his lips as he admired her in her jeans, tight Red Sox t-shirt and bare feet. “Well, well, well,” he said, walking around the bannister towards her. “Helloooo 6C.”

Cori smirked at him, crossing her arms without realizing it, protecting herself. “Hello.”

He prowled toward her like a cat stalking a mouse. “And what is your name? And how did I get so lucky?”

Just as he approached, her dad stepped out the door.

“Her name is Corinne. And unless you want to press that luck, I suggest you make a U-turn and go back to your apartment.”

Colin’s eyes were wide, a startled look on his face, but he recovered quickly.

“Well hey Corinne, welcome. I’m Colin, Colin Shea, from across the hall in 6A. I’m the official welcome party for the building. Just wanted to say hi.”

“Do you always welcome new neighbors in your boxers?” said her dad.

Colin looked down, as if he’d forgotten he was barely dressed. “Ah, that, well, I wasn’t sure when I’d get a chance to say welcome, thought I better seize the moment.”

“The moment after you couldn’t remember the name of the girl you just slept with?” said Cori, not sure where she got the nerve.

Colin gave a smile, shaking his head. “Ok, I know when I’m beat. It really was nice meeting you Corinne. I promise I’m a good neighbor.”

“Be neighborly and keep your distance,” said her dad with a smirk.

“Dad,” Cori hissed. “Don’t mind him, he’s just an overprotective dad. And everyone calls me Cori.”

Colin visibly relaxed, walking backwards towards his door. “Cori it is. Talk to you later Cori.” He gave her a little salute and disappeared into his apartment.

“Oh brother,” said her dad, “now I have to worry about that guy.”

Cori laughed. “No you don’t Daddy, I’ll be fine. This is a nice building, don’t worry.”

He pulled her into a warm embrace. “Your mother will call and check on you later.” With that, he made his way down the stairs.

She stared over at 6A’s door. She was still trying to register the gorgeous Welcome Wagon across the hall. Those long muscular legs, defined pecs and a six pack, biceps for days, blonde hair and blue eyes, absolute pure sexiness, and quite evidently a heap of trouble. Her heart fluttered a little. There were lots of reasons to love this new apartment.

She’d given herself the weekend to unpack and get the apartment set up. She was finding it easier each day to look forward. The disappointment of losing her fiancée and being betrayed by her best friend was still there, but she’d managed to push it away. The experience she’d had when she’d flatlined was always at the surface but she’d always had an active imagination and was a romantic at heart. Instead of seeing a light when she passed, she guessed she’d seen a hottie by the ocean. She smiled at the memory, tucked away in her heart. She owed that guy big time, even if he didn’t exist.

She’d run downstairs to throw some boxes in the recycler and met another neighbor, a chatty girl named Cathy who invited her to a party. “It’s so nice out, we’re taking advantage of the rooftop deck. Come and join us, you can meet some more of your new neighbors. Seven o’clock, bring something to share that we can nibble on. Drinks are provided.”

Cori had thought all afternoon about it and decided what the heck, she had to start somewhere. She was still putting clothes away but found her favorite shirt, a pullover with tiny bright flowers on a black background and a deep V neckline trimmed in lace with lace-trimmed bell sleeves and her favorite black capris. She pulled her chestnut curls up into a ponytail and lightly applied makeup, squirting her favorite perfume in the air in front of her and walking through. She slipped on black flats and because she was still unpacking her kitchen, pulled a bottle of wine from a box and headed to the stairs to the roof.

As she opened the door, a warm breeze hit her. She could hear light conversation and laughter, the sun just beginning to set. String lights with Edison bulbs were strung from a large brick chimney that rose from the roof to a canopy set up nearby. Folding chairs and an old couch sat under the lights, along with a long table holding chips, dip and other finger foods. A large cooler sat next to the table.

Cori approached the group slowly. Suddenly she was regretting her decision. It would’ve been so much easier to just order a pizza and finish unpacking.

“Cori!” Cathy from the trash room was waving at her. She shyly walked over to her.

“Everyone, this is Cori. She just moved in to 6C. Please make her welcome!”

Her new neighbors took turns approaching her with warm greetings. One offered to get her a drink, taking the bottle of wine to go with the others. Each introduced themselves with a name and apartment number. They were all ages, and all very friendly.

“I just moved in as well, 4B. It’s nice to meet you,” said a nerdy looking guy in khakis and a button down with glasses. Cori shook his hand.

From behind, she felt a hand on her lower back. She turned and found herself face to face with sexy 6A, her underwear clad neighbor from moving day. At some point he’d gotten dressed – disappointing.

“Hey,” he said with that incredible smile.

“Hey,” she squeaked out.

“Now how didn’t I know you already met Colin,” said Cathy, laughing, and the group chimed in, cajoling Mr. Sexy.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, his face turning pink. “Can I help it if I’m friendly?”

“Friendly. Is that what they call it now?” said an older man with a laugh. He patted Colin on the back.

“Colin is our resident Casanova,” said another female resident, probably in her 30s. She gave him a bit of an eye roll and Cori wondered if they had a history.

“We met the day I moved in. He was saying goodbye to his girlfriend.”

There was a moment of silence, followed by raucous laughter.

“Girlfriend, that’s a good one,” the older man said, bending over he was laughing so hard.

Colin chuckled. “Hey, you don’t buy the first shirt you pull from the rack. You gotta try them on first, right? Gotta find the right fit.” There was a collective groan among the other tenants with a few giggles (mostly from the men).

Cori smiled. So he was too good to be true. Nothing that looked that good could be good for you. She’d guessed right.

“Cori, don’t let them get to you. I’m a heckuva nice guy. I look forward to being your neighbor.” He reached down and pulled her hand to him, kissing the back of it. Catcalls came from every direction.

“Don’t drink that Kool Aid Cori, you’ll be sorry.” It was the bitter lady from earlier. Yep, they definitely have a history.

“Well, I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful neighbor,” she said with a smile, and he returned it. Man, was this guy trouble.

She learned everyone’s name and they told her a little about themselves. She shared that she was starting a new job and had moved from her parents’ home, leaving out the part about getting cheated on, stepping into the path of a moving car and being brought back to life in a weird dream by a kiss from a hot guy that doesn’t exist. That might be a bit much for a first intro. Everyone was super friendly and welcoming. She enjoyed some food and chatted with her new neighbors.

“So, tell me about this new job.” Colin plopped down next to her on the couch where she sat. He casually slipped his arm behind her on the cushions.

She stiffened a little and sat forward. “I’ll be the personal assistant to a family friend in the city. Running errands, shopping, and helping her with a book that she’s writing. She also has a foundation so I’ll help her with fundraising events. That’s kind of my specialty.”

She made eye contact with him and was struck by his eyes – so blue. “Well, that sounds great,” he said, sounding only a little interested.

“What do you do?”

“I’m in a band. We play some of the bars here in the city.”

She smiled. Hmm, t-shirt and cargo shorts, Chucks with no socks, spikey hair, eating appetizers with no abandon – yep, definitely a starving musician.

“Cool, are you a cover band?”

“We do play some covers but we do a lot of original songs too. Got discovered by a label but something came up and we lost the chance to audition, but another shot will come along.”

“Wow, must’ve been something big to miss something like an audition for a record label.”

He pulled his arm from behind her and rubbed the back of his neck, the smile leaving his face. “Yeah, it sucked. But I refuse to believe it was our only shot. We’re too good not to get noticed.”

“Well, maybe what you lost with bad luck you can gain with confidence,” she said, a little snarky.

“Exactly! That’s the positive attitude I’m talking about!” He raised his hand to give her a high five and when their hands touched, a shock went through both of them. They both jumped. Cori felt heat flood her neck and face.

“Did I do that?” he said, staring at his hand.

“I don’t know, but if you did, that hand could light up the city,” she laughed.

He rubbed his hand. “What can I say, you turn me on.”

She groaned. “Really? Did you just say that?” They both laughed out loud.

She spent a little while longer, then said her goodbyes and made her way to the stairs. A girl was standing at Colin’s door, knocking and calling for him.

“He’s on the roof,” she said as she passed her.

“Oh,” said the girl, as Cori walked into her apartment.

After pouring herself a glass of wine and grabbing some cheese and crackers, she set about unpacking some more. She’d turned on some background music and was enjoying reminiscing over pictures and albums she was putting away. Things were great until she opened an unmarked album and was suddenly face-to-face with Matthew. Hikes they’d made, college parties, birthdays, nights out with friends – it was all there. She slowly paged through the photos and was overcome with sadness. The tears pooled and fell. She hadn’t healed at all. It was all as fresh as the night before her wedding.

There was a soft knock at her door. Probably chatty Cathy checking up on her. She closed the album and dabbed the tears from her eyes and headed towards the door. She wasn’t up for company so she cleared her throat and said softly, “Who is it?”

There was a pause, then softly, “Hey, it’s Colin.”

Shit. Now was not the time. “Hey Colin, I was headed to bed, can I catch up with you later?”

Another pause. “Uh, yeah, ok. I have something for you – no big deal. Good night.”

She undid all the locks but the chain and pulled the door open enough to peek out. She caught a look at him from behind – those long legs and a perfect round ass in just-right jeans. His hair came down to a little V on his neckline. The sound of the door made him turn. He was holding a cupcake in a blue cup with a daisy icing flower on top. He stepped toward the door and extended the cupcake to her. “For you,” he said with that crooked smile. His voice was deep and smooth as velvet. “I wanted to make sure you were ok after that electric high five.”

She felt like she might melt. His voice was so sexy, and those blue eyes. She couldn’t help it – every time she saw him, it took her breath away.

“Hold on.” She pushed the door closed and undid the chain, re-opening it a little more. She reached out and he came closer, handing her the cupcake.

“Thank you,” she said quietly.

He studied her for a bit. She looked sad, as if maybe she’d been crying.

“You’re welcome. Look, I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. I know everyone was joking around up there – well, maybe kind of joking – but I really am a good neighbor. I promise I’ll be on my best behavior. I’ll look out for you. Ok?”

She smiled, one that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Ok. Thank you Colin. I mean it.”

He shook his head and smile broadly. “Good night Cori. I’ll see you around.”

“Good night.”

She went back inside after locking the door, set the cupcake down on the table and walked straight to her bed. She was suddenly exhausted. She was awkward and broken and no fun. The hottest guy she’d ever met was entertaining all kinds of girls across the hall and she probably wouldn’t be one of them. Some fresh start this was.

#chris evans #chris evans angst #chris evans fanfic #chris evans fanfiction #colin shea #colin shea fanfic #colin shea fanfiction #what's your number

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