#it only bogged down the message for anyone not current on both shows

[mareastrorum]

I feel like a significant number of people in fandom (and IRL discussions) have been exposed to the concept of moral relativism, and since they feel they can’t use their own moral compass as a basis for criticism, they have turned to trauma Olympics as an “objective” way to decide who is right when something has gone wrong.

Trauma doesn’t make someone right or wrong. If your argument has that premise, it’s a bullshit argument. Full stop.

[iwillhaveamoonbase]

We Could Be Heroes Ch. 2

“You ready?” Callum whispered.

“Nope, but no matter what, we’ve got to try.”  Rayla gulped as she loaded her video chat up. She had texted Runaan to ask when he and Tinker would be available to talk.  Unfortunately, Runaan and Tinker wouldn’t be able to find time to come to Rayla’s school anytime soon.  While Callum would prefer this introduction to be in person, Rayla was relieved that Runaan couldn’t kill the both of them if he was displeased by this turn of events. “They’re answering.  Hide!”  Callum hid behind his couch as she took a final breath.  They were in his apartment because it was the only place that was currently safe from outside eyes and ears.    

“Rayla!” came Tinker’s excited voice.  He smiled wide and waved to her.

Waving back, Rayla tried to keep her smile even. She had always had a hard time hiding things from Runaan.  “Hi, Tinker, Runaan.”  

Runaan nodded as he looked over her form through the screen.  “You’ve lost weight.  Are you eating?”

“Yes, Runaan.  I haven’t been eating as much because Bandlr keeps running his mouth at meal times.”

Runaan cocked a brow.  “Bandlr’s been sending messages to me and Tinker about how he’s convinced that you’re spending too much time with Prince Callum.”

Rayla balled her fist a bit before letting out a hard sigh.  “Actually, Callum is the reason I called.”

Tinker pushed forward a bit as a sly smile appeared on his face.  “‘Callum?’  Not ‘Prince Callum’?  I know you two have a lot of group projects but I never would have thought you would break decorum like that.”

“It’s more than that, actually.”  Rayla traced her finger on Callum’s couch as she prepared herself.  “We’ve been dating…for about a year.”

Rayla watched as a vein appeared on Runaan’s forehead.  She knew that vein very well.  “A year?  You’ve been dating a human, a human prince, for a year?  And you’ve said nothing?”, ending with a hiss.  Rayla also knew that hiss very well.  

“It’s not like we did it to hurt anyone.  People want to hurt Callum already, so dating me isn’t exactly going to endear him to the masses.”

“Then why are you dating him?”

“Because I love him.”  Rayla could hear the softness entering her voice.  “He makes me happy and would never hurt me.  He’s smart and artistic and he’s serious about not using dark magic. I have never seen anyone as devoted to learning primal magic as he is.  I’m not asking for your permission here, but I do want you to give him a chance.  He’s actually close-by and wants to meet you.”

Tinker’s face had a big smile but there was worry in his eyes.  Runaan had steeled his expression as he looked at Rayla. “We’ll meet him, but you have to leave the room.”

“What?  Runaan-” Rayla balked.

“Wait a minute,” Runaan’s voice suddenly got very quiet and inquisitive. “Where are you?  This is not your dorm room.”

‘And I’m dead.’  “It’s his apartment.”

“You’re in his APARTMENT?”

“It’s the only place to get privacy.  He lives in a nice building on the top floor.  My dorm has thin walls-”

“WHY do you need THICK WALLS?”

“Because nobody knows we’re together, Runaan!  We aren’t ready to tell the universe that we’re together and the universe will know if I call you from my dorm!  I’m handing you off to Callum now.”

Rayla got up quickly and sat in a chair off to the side so she could still keep an eye on everything.  Callum got up from behind the couch with a nervous expression on his face.  “Hello, it’s nice to meet-”

“How often is Rayla at your apartment?”

“Well, we have been group partners in the past, so every once in a while.”

“Don’t lie to me.  How often is my niece in your apartment?”

Tinker clicked his tongue before taking over.  “Please forgive Runaan.  He is very protective of Rayla.  We raised her since she was four and she’s basically our daughter.  I’m Tinker and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Callum let out his awkward laugh before nodding his head.  “It’s nice to meet you, too.  Rayla has told me a lot about you.”

Runaan could be heard in the background muttering ‘she’s told us nothing about you.’

“It was partly my fault that we waited to tell you.  We just wanted to be together, but there are potential consequences that could come from our relationship.  I’m sorry that it took this long for us to meet.  I want to make her happy for as long as she’ll let me.”

Rayla could hear tapping from the other end of the call as she could practically see Tinker’s mind going a mile a minute.  Runaan was had always been the more quick to anger between the two of them and rougher around the edges.  But Tinker was just as concerned as Runaan was, even if he showed it differently. “Do you think you can?  Being young and in love isn’t a recipe for happily ever after.  It takes time and it takes a lot of work.  You two don’t have a conventional relationship and you’ll spend the rest of your lives under a microscope.  Not just because you’re a prince, but because there are not that many elf-human couples out there.  There are even fewer than end in marriage.”

“I know.  There’s nothing telling us this is going to be easy.  I fully expect the world to turn on us.  But, I want to try.  We want to try.  We don’t want to hide anymore.”

It was silent for several minutes.  Rayla assumed Tinker and Runaan had gone to the side to discuss somewhere in the house.  Callum turned to her and gave her the most awkward smile she had ever seen on his face while giving her a shaky thumbs-up.  She couldn’t stop the loud guffaw that bubbled up.  “I knew you were still there, Rayla!” came Runaan’s stern voice.

Several more minutes later and Tinker called for Rayla to sit next to Callum. Runaan sighed as he took Tinker’s hand, matching Rayla having grabbed Callum’s.  “We will approve of this relationship, for now.  If we have any reason to believe it is causing your grades to slip or that you are in danger, Rayla, I will bring you back to Xadia. We will be keeping a close eye on you as well, Callum.  We will not tolerate any disrespect towards our niece.  On top of that, if this relationship goes any further, we will be meeting your family.”

“I would expect nothing less.  Thank you, both of you.”  Callum lowered his head respectfully.  

“Just make our niece happy.  And try to keep his Royal Highness from getting killed, Rayla.”

“Will do, Runaan.”  A few good-byes and promises to make Rayla eat more later and Callum and Rayla had signed off.  They sighed as they sank into the couch.  Callum wrapped one arm around Rayla’s shoulders, lightly stroking his thumb on her arm.  “When are we talking to your family?”

“Next Saturday.  Dad’s been bogged down with peace talks and events coming up and Aunt Amaya’s busy planning her wedding.  It wouldn’t feel right to leave either one of them out.”

Rayla nodded as she leaned into Callum.  “Let’s go to bed.”

“It’s 7:30,” came his slightly incredulous and exhausted response.

“It’s been a long day, Callum.  I just wanna take a hot bath and relax in your comfy sheets.”

“Sometimes I think you’re dating me for my apartment.”

“To be fair, dorm room beds are the absolute worst.  They do nothing for my back and I can’t take a bath for longer than five minutes since I’m sharing with six other girls.  You’re just a bonus.”  She patted his cheek in a placating manner as she smiled.

“Well, as long as I matter.  I’ll make your bath.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“The last time I let you make the bath yourself, my floor was covered in bubbles.”

“It’s not my fault your fancy soaps cause a waterfall of bubbles.  I just wanted a few.”  Callum shook his head and got up to draw her bath.  Rayla smiled as she relaxed into the couch.  ‘One family down, one to go.”  A quick knock at the door threw all thoughts of an early, pleasant night right down the drain.  Rayla went to the door and looked in the peephole.  Bandlr was standing there with Claudia muttering something. Rayla ran to the bathroom, where Callum had just finished putting her bubbles in.  “Callum!” she hissed.

Not bothering to turn around, he muttered “it’s almost done, Rayla.”

“You need to come to the door.  NOW.”  

“What’s at the door?”

“Claudia and Bandlr.”  

Callum’s eyes got big as he stumbled in his attempt to stand up. “What?!  What are they doing here?”

“I don’t know.  But I can’t answer the door because I’m not supposed to be here.”

Callum nodded before looking around.  “Hide, Rayla.”

“What do you think I’m doing, you dumb human?”  Rayla knew Bandlr would demand to check the whole apartment if he was looking for her.  She quickly went into Callum’s closet and used his clothes to cover herself up as much as possible.  ‘Why the fuck couldn’t the damn moon be full tonight?’

A few moments passed before Rayla heard arguing.  It wasn’t loud enough where she could hear what was being said, but she could tell Callum’s voice from Bandlr’s and Claudia interjecting when she could.  Footsteps made their way to the bedroom as she waited.  “Once again, you have no business being in my apartment, Bandlr.”

“I’m looking for Rayla.  That’s business enough.”

“So she hasn’t answered some of your texts.  So what?  All you do is piss her off!  Of course she’s going to ignore you.”

“And how would you know any of that, Prince Callum?”

“It’s pretty obvious to anyone that has eyes and ears.  She punched you last week, threw you over her shoulder a few days after that, and kicked you two days ago.”  Rayla mentally counted the days in her head before quickly nodding. That sounded about right.

“It’s how we flirt, human.  And I’m not leaving until I’ve searched this whole apartment.”

Claudia’s voice rang out as Rayla heard dialing.  “I’m going to call the police if you don’t get out, Bandlr.  I told you I would ask Callum if he knew where Rayla was and you followed me here.  It doesn’t matter that we’re on the border; trespassing is still trespassing and neither one of us was actually invited here by Callum tonight.”

Bandlr growled in anger.  “You think you can keep her interest by showing her the high life?”

“I don’t know what-”

“Cut the bullshit, step-prince.  I’ve known the two of you were doing something for months.  She’s always disappearing when you are and she walks around all smiles afterwards.  She goes missing for hours at a time when you two are working on a ‘project’ and there haven’t been nearly as many in your classes as you claim there are.”

“If you really think something is going on, then maybe you should just give up. She obviously doesn’t want you.”

“You don’t get it, do you?  Do you really think it would work between you two?  There is too much bad blood between elves and humans.  Your kind created dark magic and killed magical beings in order to use it and were expelled from Xadia.  You retaliated by crossing the border and continuing to kill creatures in Xadia that had done nothing wrong.  All you humans do is take and take without giving back.  And no amount of rejecting dark magic is going to make up for the crimes humanity has done.”  

“My father has made sure that my brother and I are well aware of the crimes that humans committed in Xadia.  He has pushed for peace because he wants a better world for everyone.  He doesn’t just want the humans to be allowed back in Xadia or for history to be swept under the rug.  He wants elves and humans to live together like we once did.  Dark magic is its own issue and it will take time for it to be handled, but it is being handled.”

“By you?  Your friend here seems to love dark magic.  If you can’t even get your ex-girlfriend to stop using it, how can you get anyone else to?  All you would do is bring pain and suffering to Rayla.  I highly recommend you let her go, or you’ll see the consequences of your actions.”

Rayla tried to stay hidden, she really did.  But Bandlr was too much of an asshole for her to keep quiet.  “Is that a threat, Bandlr?”  She came out from the closet to the shock of Claudia and Callum.  Bandlr looked as if he had known she was there the whole time and was waiting for her to come out.  “You do realize it is a crime to threaten a prince, right?”

Bandlr snorted before shaking his head.  “He’s not my prince, Rayla.  He’s not your’s either.  He’s not even of royal blood; just the step-son of a king who couldn’t say ‘no’ to his wife.  We’re going back to the dorms.”

“You should learn to watch your mouth.  I’m staying here.  I’m not your girlfriend, Bandlr.  I’m not your anything; you can’t boss me around like that.”

“I’ll tell Runaan-”

“Runaan already knows.  Find a new threat.”

Bandlr blinked several times before glaring.  “When did he find out?”

“About an hour ago,” crossed arms and head held high, Rayla was going to stand her ground.  “He and Tinker gave their blessing.  Now, are we going to have to call the police or are you going to leave?”

“Yes, let’s call the police and we’ll explain to them how an elf was found in a human prince’s room because of their illicit little love affair.”

“Or, we could tell them that Callum and I were working on a project, which is true because we were working on telling his family next, while you decided to barge in here.  Given how many legitimate projects Callum and I have done together, plus Claudia’s testimony, who do you think they’re going to believe?  Don’t be on the losing side of this, Bandlr.  It will only make you seem weak.”          

Bandlr continued glaring at Rayla before shaking his head.  “Fine, I’ll go.  But when people ask where you were tonight, do you think I’m going to lie to them? You can bet on everyone knowing by Monday.”

Rayla stepped towards him until they were separated by a foot.  “Is your tiny brain really that focused on revenge? This is beyond petty and you know it. Revenge is for killing a king or destroying a Nexus.  It’s not for not getting your way.”

“Who said anything about revenge?  You hate lying, Rayla.  And you’ve been lying for months.”

Callum wrapped an arm around Rayla, subtly holding her back from attacking Bandlr. “Give us until next Sunday, and then you can tell everyone you want to.”

Bandlr guffawed.  “And why should I cover for you until then?  So you can go to the press yourselves?”

“Because we’re telling my family about us next Saturday.  I know how important family is in Xadia, so surely, you can respect us wanting to deliver the news ourselves.  I don’t want my little brother to hear about this from anyone else.”

Bandlr bit the inside of his cheek.  “Fine, you have until Sunday.  But I will not lie for you, Rayla.  You’ve made your bed by choosing to date a human.  You’ll have to lie in it, too.”

Bandlr began to walk off, but Rayla couldn’t let him have the last word.  “I would rather lie in his bed than touch your’s with a ten-foot pole, Bandlr.”  He stopped in his tracks and rolled his shoulders in irritation.  He stalked out, slamming the door on his way.  

A sigh of relief left the room before a squeal escaped Claudia.  “No way!  No way you kept this a secret from me, Callum!”  Claudia pulled Callum from Rayla and was shaking him.  “I have spent the past year telling you to grow a pair and ask her out and you’ve been dating this whole time?!  And you!”  There wasn’t a lot that scared Rayla, but Claudia had just terrified her down to her bones.  That determined stare of her’s could make a banther pause.  “I’ve been subtly telling you to just admit your feelings-”

“There was nothing subtle about how you went about this, Claudia.”

“And you’ve been dating him.  And you’ve been in his apartment?  I’ve only been here twice!  How often do you come here?”

“None of your business.”

“You have to tell me everything.  When did you start dating?  Why?  What was the big moment?  When did you start coming here, Rayla?”

Callum had finally wrestled his shirt from Claudia’s grasp.  “It just happened, Claudia.  There was no big ‘I like you, please go out with me’ moment. She came over for class projects, then we started having dinner here together, watched some movies and it just…”

“Happened,” Rayla finished for him.  “We started making out without any sort of confession and the next thing you now, we’re talking about being exclusive and I’m leaving things here that I don’t want to leave around my dorm.  We don’t really even have an anniversary because we can only guess when we started ‘dating’ versus hanging out.”

Claudia looked extremely put-out before sighing.  “Callum, I would have hoped you would be more romantic than that. You were so romantic before we dated.”

“He’s plenty romantic, don’t worry about that.  We just didn’t start out in a traditional manner.”

“Well, as long as he makes an effort.  Seriously, you guys couldn’t tell me?”

Callum ran a hand through his hair before grimacing.  “We couldn’t.  Neither of our families knew and we wanted to keep it secret.”

“Fine, I guess.  I’m telling Soren next Sunday, though.  He’s going to be so excited for you!”

Callum smiled at her before leading her back to his door, Rayla close behind. “If anyone asks, Rayla is here, but we’re working on something.”

“I’m sure you’re working on something.  I saw a second toothbrush in your bathroom just now.”

“Claudia!”

“Fine, fine.  My lips are sealed.  For now. Bye-bye.”  Claudia finally left, taking some of the tension of the past twenty minutes with her.  Callum groaned as he slowly sank to the floor against the door.  

“We could just kill them.  I’d feel bad about Claudia, but we could.”

“We’re not killing anyone, Ray.”

“No one would ever know it was me.  With how many people Bandlr pisses off, it wouldn’t be too much of a shock.” Callum looked up to see Rayla smiling. She bent down until she was eyelevel and ran a hand through his hair.  “It’s going to be okay.  We’ll get through this together, right?”

“Right.  You still want that bath?”

“Ugh!” Rayla threw her head to the side and lifted her eyes upward.  “I need a bath, I need to sleep in your sheets, and I need some moonberry wine.  You still got that bottle I brought back from last break?”

“In the cabinet.  I haven’t opened it since the last time we drank it.”

“Good.  I’ll pour us both a glass while you finish my bath.”

“The water’s probably cold by now.”

“It’s fine.  Are you hungry?  I can make something while you start it again.”

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Well, looks like we’ve got some work to do.”  Callum gave her a light peck before she grabbed his hand and brought them both back up.  “You weigh less than a bag of feathers.”

“Says the person that can bench-press me, Claudia, and Bandlr.”

“Just you and Claudia.  I’m working up to Soren in his ceremonial armor.”  

A few minutes later and Rayla was relaxing with a glass of wine in her bath while Callum was munching on apple slices with Xadian honey.  “Xadia has the best honey.  I thought Duren’s was pretty good, but this is thicker and sweeter.”

“That’s because I always bring back Earthblood honey.  It’s a bit harder to get because they only produce so much a month, but damn if it isn’t the best.”

“You’ve ruined me.  I’m gonna have to marry you just to get access to this honey.”

“I thought you wanted to marry me because I can kick your ass.”

“That’s reason number one.  This honey is reason number two.”  Rayla held out her glass and he placed it next to his empty one.  “You want anymore?  There’s still another glass or two left in the bottle.”

“Nah.  I think it’s bedtime.”  It was almost a blur for Rayla as they drained the rub and she dried off while Callum took care of their dishes.  The stress from the day was finally catching up to her.  He entered the bathroom and slowly took the towel out of her clenched fist. “Callum?”

“Yeah, Ray?”

“Runaan and Tinker know.  Bandlr and Claudia know.  Your family is going to know in a week.”

“Yeah.”

“This is real, isn’t it?  There’s no turning back now.”

“Do you want to?”

Rayla licked her lips and looked at him.  “I haven’t been able to turn back since the moment I fell in love with you. I’m scared.  And I’m scared that I’m scared.  I’m not supposed to be, but I am.  It’s not even about meeting your family, it’s the rest of the world I don’t want to meet.  I’m not used to my life being on display for everyone.  I don’t want everyone in Xadia to pick you apart like Bandlr did tonight.”

“What Bandlr said didn’t bother me.  Viren has called me a ‘mongrel’ several times since he and my dad had a falling out.  I’ve been called the ‘step-prince’ affectionately by Soren, but everyone else uses it to remind me that I’m not royalty.  My mom was a respected general in the Katolian Army and my father was a poor artist that didn’t have a penny to his name.  Harrow officially adopted me and my half-brother is going to be king and none of that changes the fact that not a drop of royal blood runs through my veins.  I’m not that fragile, Rayla.  I know you feel like you have to protect me from the world, but you have to believe that I can stand up for myself.”

“I know you can,” she reached for his hands and lightly kissed his palm. “I just can’t help feeling like everything is closing in.”

“I’m scared, too.  Viren has been pushing his anti-elf rhetoric for a while and there are still people loyal to him in the capital.  I’m not expecting the world to accept us overnight.  I’ll be shocked if it does.”  They both chuckled.  Callum started to lead Rayla to his bed, settling her on it before cupping her face. “Let’s just call it a day.  You were right; it’s been long and the both of us are exhausted.”

“OK.  Now let me up so I can actually put something on.”  Callum blushed red as he stammered, backing off so quickly he almost ran into his cabinet.  “You can watch me take a bath but the second I draw attention to my nudity, you turn into a blushing mess?”

“Well, it’s just…I…please let me go to sleep.”  Rayla laughed as she got up and put on one of Callum’s old shirts and her sleep shorts.  They crawled into bed, Rayla spooning Callum as he threaded her fingers through his. “It’ll get better.  It has to.”

“I know.  I love you.”

“I love you, too.”  Despite the long day, the pair stayed wide awake as reality kept crashing down on them. Callum’s apartment had always been a safe haven; free from judging eyes and the demands of the rest of the world. Now that Bandlr had stormed his way in and he and Claudia knew the truth, it no longer felt so safe.  Pretty soon, their relationship was no longer going to be private.  There was no turning back now.

A/N: I have plans for Bandlr.

[mveloc]

Days of Why and How

Chapter 13

Author’s Note: Yes, I’m alive! I haven’t been super active online due to how crazy busy I’ve been, but I promised that I would complete this fic and continue writing, so that’s what I intend to do :) I’d like to thank all of you who’ve continued to stick with this fic and support me--I really do appreciate it. I wish I could find the time to update more frequently and I’m really going to try, but work keeps me pretty bogged down and I’m also working on some original writing, so free time is in short supply these days. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! 

There is a trigger warning for violence in this one--I don’t think it’s too descriptive, but I want to tread on the safe side. If blood makes you squeamish, be warned (although I really don’t think it’s any worse than Pure Radiance for those of you who’ve read that one).

She’s immune to the sound of blaring car horns and hollered profanities as she weaves in and out of traffic, one hand gripping tightly to the wheel and the other holding her phone to her ear, hopelessly listening for some sort of response. For the fifth time in as many minutes, the ringing subsides and she's greeted by a pre-recorded message of Cosima’s voice that she would normally find charming.

Tonight?

Not so much.

“Cosima, answer your phone! This is important!” Delphine snaps, slamming her hand against the wheel in a fit of fury. “I think Aldous is coming for you!”

She presses the large red circle on the screen to terminate the call before dialling again, hoping six is her lucky number. As soon as she looks up from her phone and back to the road, she manages to react in time to the red light that’s suddenly appeared, slamming on her breaks and nearly springing forward through the windshield.

“Hey, this is Cosima. As much as I’d love to—”

She ends the call again, tossing her phone into the back seat and nearly growling in frustration. Luckily enough, she’s not left to stew in her anger for too long as Bobby’s comes into view. She doesn’t even bother pulling into the nearest parking lot and instead opts to double park right out front, indifferent to the potential consequences. She leaps out of her car and bounds into Bobby’s, head whipping back and forth as she tries to locate Cosima.

“Where’s the fire?” Bobby asks, stopping what she’s doing she address the frantic blonde.

“Where is Cosima?”

“Uh, she’s gone for the night. She worked an earlier shift today,” Bobby replies with a raised brow.

“This is really important, Bobby. Do you know where she went?” Delphine asks.

The tattooed woman shakes her head.

“Sorry. No idea.”

For the second time that night, Delphine feels her heart sink even deeper into her chest. Sensing the French woman’s distress, Bobby tries her best to be helpful.

“Sarah was in earlier. The two left together. Maybe she knows?”

The suggestion permeates her panic. When Sarah had called earlier, she was clearly no longer with Cosima, but maybe Cosima had mentioned what her plans were? In any case, it was all she really had to go on since Cosima was avoiding her calls.

She expels a breathy word of thanks before racing back out to her car, hopping into the driver’s seat and reaching behind to retrieve her discarded phone. She continues to ignore the honking as she scrolls through her call history, finding the number that Sarah had called her from and dialling it back.

Luckily for her, Sarah isn’t as petulant as Cosima.

“Delphine?” she answers, seeming just as surprised by the call as Delphine had been by hers earlier in the evening.

Delphine cuts right to the chase.

“Do you have eyes on Cosima?”

“Not this second. What’s the deal?”

Delphine expels a frustrated sigh.

“Sarah, I told you—“

“Oi! I’m with my daughter right now, okay?” Sarah lashes back, matching Delphine flame-for-flame. “The only kid I babysit is my own.”

She shouldn’t be surprised that Sarah isn’t up to the task, but for whatever reason, she expected more. The Brit clearly has no idea just how severe the situation is.

“Just relax. I have Felix on watch duty.”

Finally, she catches the break she’s needed the entire night.

“Then you need to get him on the phone right now, and tell him he needs to take Cosima and go to ground,” Delphine says sternly.

“Jesus. What the hell’s going on?”

“Just do it!” Delphine snaps again. “I think someone’s coming for her.”

+ + + + +

She doesn’t know when Delphine managed to slip her number into her contact list, but her blood begins to boil the second she sees “Eskimo Pie” staring back at her from her phone screen. She isn’t sure what she’s most insulted by—the fact that her ex had somehow gotten a hold of her phone and entered her information without permission, the fact that she had the gall to use that nickname after everything, or the fact that she’s calling at all after she’d made it abundantly clear that she wants nothing to do with the blonde.

She quickly declines the call, giving an apologetic half-wave when about a dozen people in the theatre turn to her with looks of annoyance.

A minute later, her phone starts up again and so do the glaring strangers.

“Would you turn that bloody thing off?” Felix whispers harshly, swatting her on the shoulder. “You’re going to ruin the best part.”

“Yeah. Sorry,” she mumbles, turning her phone on silent.

She focuses her attention back to the large screen, watching Elizabeth Berkley ride Kyle MacLachlan in what has to be one of the most ridiculous sex scenes ever committed to film. The sound of water splashing is almost drowned out by the thunderous applause and laughter, and while she wishes she could join in on the amusement, Delphine has successfully managed to get under her skin with two simple phone calls.

“Are you okay, darling?” Felix asks, noticing his friend is suddenly distracted. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I’m fine.”

“No—Elizabeth Berkley’s tits are fine. You’re looking morose.”

“Can we just watch the movie? I don’t wanna talk about it.”

Felix shrugs, then fixes his gaze back on the screen. Even though she’s seen this movie at least a dozen times, she finds herself completely lost as she tries to wrap her head around why Delphine would be calling her.

Probably more of the same bullshit.

Why does she care?

Cosima pulls her phone out of her pocket again to see that Delphine has called four more times. She turns the device completely off this time without a second thought, fairly certain that a vein on her head is probably looking much more pronounced at the moment.

“I have to pee,” she huffs, rushing out of the theatre with no preamble.

She ascends a flight of stairs to find the woman’s washroom and is thankful that there’s no one in any of the stalls. She hurries into the larger handicapped stall, slamming the door behind her and locking it before plopping down onto the toilet, burying her head in her hands.

“Jesus fucking Christ,” she mutters, sliding her fingers beneath her glasses to press her closed eyes.

Today was full of almost too much bullshit for anyone to take; first, Shay’s uncle had showed up at Bobby’s while she was working to intimidate her. The encounter had left her pretty shaken up and she considered going straight to Shay’s after work, but Sarah had convinced her otherwise.

“Fuck all of this mess,” she had said dismissively. “Come grab dinner with me, Fee, and Kira.”

It had been far too long since she’d seen her niece and the thought of spending time with people who cared about her—people who were removed from the current war that was going on—sounded blissful. They had taken Kira to a diner and laughed as the small girl ordered an entire stack of pancakes and an ice cream sundae for dinner. No one protested—not even Kira as they all stole bites ice cream throughout the meal. Once they were finished and she was ready to call it a night, Felix had somehow convinced her to come to a late night screening of Showgirls with him.

Her true family had somehow managed to take her mind off all the chaos that was encircling her. She hadn’t realized how tightly she was wound until her belly was full of laughter again. At this point, maybe finishing the job with Sarah and taking off with her, Felix, and Kira really was the best thing for her.

She spends several more minutes sitting in the stall, trying to push Delphine and Shay’s uncle and even Shay from her mind. After a short breathing exercise, she feels ready to rejoin Felix for the grand finale—only the second she exits the women’s washroom, he’s standing right there with a panicked look upon his face.

“We need to go—right now,” he says, grabbing her arm.

“What’s going on?” she asks, eyeing the flamboyant young man suspiciously.

“Sarah says you’re not safe.”

She rips her arm out of Felix’s grasp, equal parts confused and angry.

“Sarah? What the hell does Sarah know?” she counters.

“You can ask her yourself.”

Felix holds up his phone, then shoves it in her face. She takes it from his hand and holds it to her ear. The second she says hello, she’s met by the Spanish Inquisition.

“Why’s your bloody phone turned off?”

“Uh, cause Delphine keeps fucking harassing me—not that it’s any of your business,” Cosima retorts with just as much sass.

“Yeah. I just got off the phone with her.”

She stops dead in her tracks, much to the dismay of Felix who’s all but dragging her down the stairs at this point.

“What? Are you kidding me?”

“She’s not fucking around, Cos!” Sarah barks. “She says someone’s coming for you.”

“And you believe her?”

“Yeah, I do!”

Cosima brings her hand to her forehead, resting it there for a moment as she tries to figure out exactly what’s happening and determine her next move. She’d like to think that Sarah is overreacting and Delphine is playing both of them for fools, but considering the fact that Dmitri Davydov appeared at her goddamn place of work earlier in the day, she can’t help but heed the warning.

“I’ve gotta go.”

She hangs up the phone, then shoves it back into Felix’s hand. Without bothering to explain, she races down the flight of stairs and through the front lobby of the theatre, out onto the street.

“What are you doing? Where are you going?” Felix asks, trailing behind.

“I need to talk to Shay,” she answers, pulling her own phone out and turning it back on.

She can see that Delphine has left her a voicemail and she scowls, opting instead to open the Uber app to call herself a car.

“No—you need to come with me and we need to disappear.”

Cosima shakes her adamantly.

“Look, this is about her uncle. I need to sort this shit out once and for all.”

She isn’t going to wait around for one of Dmitri’s men to come and snatch her up—or even worse. As strange as it seems, she’s probably the safest with Shay right now; Dmitri wouldn’t come for her with his niece standing between them, would he?

“It won’t take long.”

+ + + + +

She bangs loudly on the door three times, her head hanging low as she tries to contain her anger. It wasn’t her intention to come to Shay’s apartment and explode on her lover, but the longer she sat in the back of that Uber pondering the most recent events in her life, the more angry she became.

Shay hasn't betrayed her the way Delphine has, but she did introduce her twisted uncle into the mix, and even though Shay’s been supportive on so many occasions, Cosima can’t help but wonder if it’s all just an act. As much as she hates to admit it, she’s not exactly the best judge of character when it comes to people she’s involved with; Delphine had managed to fuck her over royally and she never saw it coming. Could this be another con job?

Before she has time to give it more thought, Shay’s door swings open and she’s greeted by the wide-eyed blonde.

“Just what the hell is your deal?”

“I’m sorry?”

“First, you bring me to your creepy uncle’s mansion, then he shows up at my work asking all these questions, and now I have Delphine and Sarah telling me that I’m about to be offed,” Cosima immediately spills.

Perhaps it’s too much up front, but she’s unable to contain herself. Sensing this, Shay quickly scans the hallway of her apartment complex for any potential onlookers, then opens the door wider.

“Come inside. Hurry.”

Once they’re both safe behind closed doors, Shay releases a long sigh.

“My uncle isn’t going to ‘off’ you, if that’s what this is about.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Cosima remains closed off, her arms folded tightly across her chest and head cocked slightly to the side; everything about her is hard and accusatory—no room for the softness they usually share.

“He wouldn’t do that,” Shay replies.

Cosima shakes her head incredulously.

“He’s a mob boss, Shay!”

“Yeah, but he wouldn’t do that to me! He knows I care about you.”

She can see the hurt swimming behind Shay’s eyes, but she stands her ground.

“I can’t do this,” she sighs wearily. “I can’t deal with this shit anymore.”

When did her life become this? Somehow, she doesn’t think she can blame it all on Delphine. She doesn’t even think she can blame it all on Shay, as much as she’d like to. After all, she’s the common denominator between the two; through all the bullshit and the lies and the terrible choices, here she is—at the center of it all.

“Cosima, just calm down.”

Shay’s words have the opposite of their intended effect.

“It’s just been one thing after another! First Delphine, then you!” Cosima unleashes, pacing erratically around Shay’s small apartment. “I thought things were going to be easy between us but I guess that was just wishful thinking, huh?”

“I’m sorry, okay?”

Cosima pauses, struck by the sincerity in Shay’s voice.

“I know he’s, like, way out of line by asking you all those questions. I didn't think things would go down like this,” Shay tries to explain.

She moves past Cosima and drops down onto the couch in a long, deflated breath. She runs her hands through her hair and finally settles them on the back of her skull, her head sinking low between her legs.

Cosima shifts from one foot to the other, reassessing their conversation. Maybe she did come in too hot. She didn’t expect such an easy victory. Of course, her and Shay have never really fought before so she wasn’t sure what to expect, but watching Shay shut down like this certainly wasn’t it.

“Why did you bring me up at all? Why did you have to drag me into this shit?”

She tries to swallow the thickness in her voice, but she’s unsuccessful in masking that she’s on the verge of tears at this point. She can’t be sure if they’re tears of hurt, frustration, or exhaustion, but it hardly matters anymore.

“God, I didn’t even mean to!” Shay bursts, her head snapping up again to face Cosima. “I just brought you up in passing! I said, like, maybe three things about you, okay? How was I supposed to know he’d offer you a job?”

“Shay, he showed up at my work! He scared the shit out of my friend! He scared the shit out of me!” Cosima counters. “It doesn’t matter what you meant—what matters is what’s happening now because of what you did!”

She feels like she’s suffering from a major case of deja vu, and that’s when her choice becomes painfully clear.

“I can’t live like this,” Cosima proclaims, her voice cracking.

She’s instantly transported back into that car with Delphine all those years ago; she had meant it back then too, but couldn’t find the strength to follow through when Delphine had captured her gaze, held her close, and fought like hell to keep them alive. When she locks eyes with Shay, there’s no fight, no fire.

Instead, a silent understanding passes between them.

“I’m sorry. I’ll take care of it,” Shay quietly says.

“You’ll take care of it?”

The blonde finally stands again, nodding slowly.

“I’m going to go over to his house right now and sort this all out. I’m going to tell him to leave you alone from now on.”

She makes her way across the apartment and grabs her coat off the coat rack, the urgency in her movements matching the urgency of her words. Cosima merely watches as Shay throws her coat on over her pyjamas and then reaches for her boots.

“Do you really think he’ll listen to you?” Cosima asks.

She has a hard time believing that Dmitri Davydov would simply give up his pursuit at the behest of a woman—family or not. Everything she’s been told about this man tells her he’ll stop at nothing to get what he wants.

“He owes me one,” Shay mutters over her shoulder as she finishes tying her boots. “When I went down, the cops didn’t even want me. He was their big fish—they were just trying to use me to get to him. They were hoping I’d give them something they could use to take him down. I mean, I totally could have and I probably would have served a lot less time, but I kept my mouth shut.”

It was never a secret that Shay served time because of her involvement with her family, but the particulars surrounding the entire situation remained a mystery to Cosima. It was something they never spoke about. Shay knew all the dark and sordid details surrounding Cosima’s imprisonment, but for whatever reason, the blonde had never shared her own story with her before and she had never thought to ask beyond the CliffsNotes version she was presented with.

“When I got out, he told me he was indebted to me. He told me if there was anything I ever needed, all I had to do was ask,” Shay finishes. “So I’ll call in my favour and you can put this all behind you, okay?”

Again, her mind wanders back to that car ride with Delphine. Her then-girlfriend had made a similar promise—one she couldn’t keep. She wants so badly to believe Shay, but she cannot hide her skepticism.

“Okay,” she reluctantly agrees.

They exit Shay’s apartment in a tense silence, riding the elevator down to the ground level and leaving the complex. Shay’s bug is parked in its usual spot across the street and Cosima watches with hands stuffed in her pockets as Shay begins to cross the street—that is, until she notices Cosima isn’t following and stops.

“Where are you off to?” Shay asks, turning back to acknowledge Cosima.

“I need to go meet up with Sarah and Felix,” Cosima shrugs.

“Wanna ride?”

Cosima stops for a moment, considering.

“No, it’s fine.”

Shay sighs, then takes a step closer.

“Are things going to be weird between us from now on?”

Cosima lifts her gaze, eyes focusing on the black, boundless sky above her. She manages to blink away the tears that almost form and takes the much needed minute to compose herself.

“Honestly?” she counters. “I think I need a break from the whole ‘us’ part.”

She shakes her head, finally able to meet Shay’s gaze.

“I promised myself I wouldn’t do this again.”

The lump in Shay’s throat is visible as she swallows it down hard. She digests Cosima’s answer with a slow nod and distant eyes.

“I get it.”

With that, she turns away from Cosima and makes her way towards her car.

There’s nothing left to say and yet Cosima can’t fight the words that are rising to the surface. They’re fuelled by guilt—guilt that she hasn’t been entirely honest with Shay, and despite everything that’s happened, she can sense Shay’s sincerity; she had said before that Shay’s intent didn’t matter, only her actions. When she reflects on her own actions, she realizes that she’s just as culpable in the death of their relationship as Shay is.

“I slept with Delphine.”

Shay stops mid-stride, the wind completely sucked out of her sail. Thankfully there’s not a lot of traffic on this side street at this time of night, and without the threat of an oncoming vehicle, Shay remains planted in the middle of the road.

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to take that,” she says just loud enough for Cosima to hear as she turns around to face her again.

“I-It was before I met back up with you,” Cosima tries to explain, closing some of the distance between them until they’re both standing in the middle of the road. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you’d judge me or be mad at me or something.”

Shay cocks her head, her curiosity strangely piqued.

“Why would I be mad at you?”

Cosima gives the question some real thought.

Why did she have any reason to believe that Shay would be mad at her? Shay’s been nothing but kind and understanding through everything. Perhaps she’s projecting; if their roles were reversed, she would undoubtedly be hurt and consider her actions a betrayal.

“Because I told you I’d look you up as soon as I got out, but I didn’t,” Cosima admits. “I guess I didn’t technically look Delphine up either, but I went to her first—not you.”

Now that the truth is out, she’s both relieved and angry all over again.

“I didn’t even mean to. I was so fucking mad at her and I still ended up in bed with her anyway.”

Shay places a hand on Cosima’s arm in a bid to quell her stirring emotions.

“Look, you don’t have to explain—”

“But I want to,” Cosima presses.

She’s been grappling with this explanation for years, unable to truly find the words to express what she needs to say. If she can’t be honest with herself or with Shay in this moment, what hope does she have?  She takes a deep, steadying breath and finds her legs for the first time in forever.

“I wish I could hate her, but I just… I can’t.”

She quivers as the words crack and crumble in her mouth like she’s chewing on a mouthful of charcoal. They leave a black, chalky texture for her to ruminate as all the toxins are slowly pulled from her body.

“I have every fucking reason to and every time I see her or hear her voice or think about her, I get so fucking angry—but it’s not because I hate her,” she confesses, her lower lip trembling.

Shay is looking at her now with deep and sympathetic eyes, but she slowly removes her hand from Cosima’s arm and allows her to unravel all on her own.

“I’m angry because I can’t, so I just hate myself instead.”

She stares at her feet, eyes swollen and face red. She knows if she looks up to meet Shay’s gaze, she’ll be greeted by warmth—a warmth she isn’t ready to embrace just yet.

“You don’t have to punish yourself, Cosima.”

She hears the waver in Shay’s voice and that’s when she knows she needs to escape.

“I have to go,” she mutters, sniffling quietly and turning away as fast as she possibly can.

She leaves Shay standing there, never bothering to look back and face her. She wipes her glossy eyes on the sleeve of her coat as she continues to walk away, and she can hear Shay’s car door open then slam shut, followed by the sound her driving away. Only once she’s certain she’s alone does she stop her trek; she had bee so desperate to place enough distance between them that she didn’t even consider where she was heading. She pulls out her phone and opens the Uber app, setting Felix’s apartment as her destination.

She takes another deep breath, relishing in the fact that the worst part of her night is now over. All she can think about is getting back to Felix’s, smoking the fattest bowl she can pack, and drifting off to a less-cruel reality… that is, until she senses an unfamiliar presence nearby.

She turns to face the oncoming car, squinting carefully to make out the licence plate. She then refers back to the app and realizes that the car slowly approaching her is not the blue Toyota Camry listed. She folds her arms over her chest, eyes following the car until it comes to an excruciatingly slow stop right next to her. The driver’s window rolls down and she can barely make out the figure at the wheel.

“Looking for a ride?” he asks.

She bends her head a little lower to get a better look at the man. He appears to be in his forties, with a thick beard and pair of aviator glasses that remind her of her dad’s when she was little. He offers her a smile, but there’s something chilling and soulless about it that immediately makes her blood run cold.

“Oh, uh, that’s okay. My ride is on its way,” she mutters, trying her best to conceal the creeping panic on her face.

She begins walking again, her pace hurried as she tries to put more distance between her and the stranger. She checks her phone, mentally cursing when she sees her ride is still in the process of completing a nearby trip. She manages to get about half a block before she hears the car come whizzing past her, making a sharp turn up onto the sidewalk to cut off her path.

She freezes, this time greeted by the barrel of a gun sticking out of the window instead of a creepy smile.

“Let’s try this one more time,” the man says, clicking the safety off his weapon. “Looking for a ride?”

Cosima slowly raises her hands into the air, the colour draining from her face completely.

“H-Hey now. Let’s just take it easy, okay?” she tries to talk him down, her voice trembling. “Just take it easy.”

The gun remains fixed on her.

“Get in the car,” the man repeats, his smile gone.

“Shay’s on her way to meet with Dmitri right now. She’s going to clear this all up, okay? You don’t have to do this,” she tries to reason with him.

What happens next surprises her.

“Dmitri?” the man asks in a breath of laughter.

He seems genuinely amused by her suggestion and her brow furrows, confusion momentarily taking the place of fear.

“You really think I’m Bratva?”

The world begins to fade away as soon as she understands what’s really happening, and while she shouldn’t be surprised in the least, she finds herself blindsided yet again and too terrified to be angry that the man who ruined her life the first time will also be the one responsible for ending it.

“Fine,” he sighs.

He makes no attempt to hide his annoyance at the inconvenience her lack of cooperation is causing him. She doesn’t mean to defy his demand, but she can’t will her legs to carry her forward and climb into the car; one would think a gun pointed directly at them would be a brilliant motivator, but the weapon has the opposite of its intended effect on her.

The second he steps out of his car is when sound and colour return to her. She tries to backpedal, but she knows there’s nowhere she can run now, so she closes her eyes tightly and tries to let her usually active brain carry her somewhere else.

“Since you don’t want to get in the car, we can do this right—”

She screams out—the sound of a loud impact cutting through her haze-like shock. The second she’s able to process that the sound isn’t a bullet in her head, she opens her eyes again only to find that the creepy man is no longer standing in front of her with a gun pointed at her face. Instead, he’s several meters away from her in a bloody heap on the ground. Her eyes then land on a second car which sports a distinct, body-shaped dent on the front bumper and hood.

Cosima finds her breath again.

She knows this car.

Her eyes follow Delphine as she climbs out of the driver’s seat, walking over to the groaning man with purpose in every step.

“D-Delphine?” he asks, completely caught off guard by this development.

The blonde draws her own gun, staring down at the man with complete disdain. She points her weapon at his face, prompting him to raise his hands and begin to plead—a plead that’s cut short by a bullet which finds its home snuggly between his eyes.

Cosima drops to her knees, eyes wide and mouth gaping in terror. Tremors tear through her body, even as Delphine holsters her gun and comes dashing over.

“Cosima!” Delphine calls out, dropping to her knees in front of her to assess Cosima’s current state. “Are you okay?”

“W-What…?”

She can’t find her words, mouth dry and tongue swollen as she tries make sense of what the hell is happening.

“You don’t answer your phone!” Delphine snaps. “I’ve been trying to reach you all night—trying to warn you!”

She reaches for Cosima, pulling the brunette to her feet again. She’s shaky on her legs, but Delphine slings an arm around her waist to help support her.

“We have to go.”

Cosima can only nod as Delphine ushers her into the passenger’s seat, buckles her in, then runs back around to climb into the driver’s seat and take off.

+ + + + +

They march down the dimly-lit corridor to Aldous’s office, one of her hands clasped firmly with Cosima’s and the other carrying the briefcase that contains their prize. She had promised Cosima that this would be it—now was the time to tell Aldous they wanted out. If they played their cards right, they could be on a plane to St. Barts this evening.

They both stop in front of the hulk of a man who guards the door. It only takes him a second to scan them over before he nods, stepping aside and granting them entry. Before they open the door, they exchange one last look; Delphine’s smile is weak but reassuring, and elicits a similar one from Cosima.

“Thank God you’re here—the both of you,” Aldous proclaims the second they walk through the door.

He stands, circling around from behind his desk to greet them both properly. He places both of his hands on their shoulders and gently squeezes; Delphine has grown accustomed to the gesture, but she can feel the shiver travel down Cosima’s spine.

“We’re fine, Aldous. We didn’t see any danger on the road,” Delphine answers.

“That’s good news.”

He backs away until he’s pressed against his desk, leaning against it and staring at them expectantly.

“Well?”

As if on cue, Delphine releases Cosima’s hand and steps forward, handing him the briefcase.

“Here it is—all of it.”

He smiles, walking back around his desk to place the briefcase on the surface. As soon as he opens it and peers inside, his smile grows.

“Nicely done.”

He rifles through the case, silently counting the prize as the two young women stand awkwardly, unsure of how to proceed. Cosima slips her hand back into Delphine’s and the blonde looks over to her side to meet Cosima’s gaze.

“What is it?”

They both freeze, their attention directed back to the older man.

He’s stopped counting his money long enough to notice the tension between the two and he waits for one of them to step forward and explain.

“We need to talk,” Delphine finally breaks.

Aldous pauses for a brief moment, then closes the briefcase.

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

Delphine opens her mouth, but the right words elude her. How does she explain herself to Aldous without insulting or angering him?

“No, everything’s definitely not okay,” Cosima chimes in.

Delphine squeezes Cosima’s hand a little harder—a warning to proceed with caution. Cosima’s always been too cheeky for her own good and while Delphine usually finds it to be one of her more endearing traits, it’s far from charming at the moment. Cosima responds in kind by yanking her hand away from Delphine’s and folding her arms across her chest, frown all-too-prominent.

“How can I help?”

Delphine expels a mental sigh of relief when Aldous doesn’t retaliate against the insolent comment. She searches Aldous carefully and determines that he seems to be in a sound state of mind; there’s a calmness radiating from him and she senses that it’s safe to tread a little deeper into the water.

“Well,” she begins, taking another step forward. “Cosima and I were talking, and… well… we—”

“You’re making a huge mistake!”

They both jump as soon as the door bursts open. They turn to identify the source of the sound and they’re greeted by the hulk again, only this time, he has his bulging bicep around a much smaller man’s neck.

“Hold that thought, Delphine,” Aldous says smoothly, lifting a hand to stop her.

He makes his way around his desk once more and the hulk tosses his boisterous captive to the floor. Upon closer inspection, both women can see that the man appears to be badly beaten; his hands are tied behind his back, his lip is swollen and dribbling blood, and his face is badly bruised—so much so that one of his eyes is completely swollen shut.

“What’s going on?” Delphine asks in a panic.

She can see the same panic reflected back at her in Cosima’s eyes and she instinctively steps closer to her girlfriend, the two of them stepping off to the side of the room.

“You know Patrick, don’t you?” Aldous asks, gesturing towards the man.

“Y-yes, we’ve met,” Delphine reluctantly replies.

She doesn’t know him well and has never personally worked with him, but she’s seen his face and knows that he’s another one of Aldous’s subordinates. His relationship with Aldous far predates her own and she wonders just what the hell is going on.

“Leekie, what the fuck is this all about?” Patrick spits, taking the words right out of her mouth.

Aldous turns to Cosima and Delphine—now backed up against the wall.

“Patrick here has been stealing from me.”

“Bullshit!” Patrick barks. “You know I’m no rat!”

Delphine feels her heart stop in her chest.

She suddenly knows what this is all about, as well as what’s about to happen.

“He’s the reason for all the panic,” Aldous explains. “It seems he forwarded your coordinates to an unknown third party.”

“What?” both woman ask in unison.

“That’s a goddamn lie!”

“He was probably hoping they’d kill you both, recover the money, then wire him his share once your bodies were cold and they were long gone.”

Cosima wraps her arms around one of Delphine’s, pulling her in even closer. The gesture serves to tether Delphine—to reassure her that they’re here together, that no matter what happens, that’s how it’ll stay.

“You see, I don’t tolerate disobedience. I don’t tolerate disloyalty.”

Aldous’s tone is much harsher now. The calm waters she had detected before have given way to a thundering tidal wave that advances far too quickly to avoid; the only thing left to do now is to be pulled under.

“W-Wait a second, Leekie! It’s not like that, I-I swear!”

As Patrick pleads for his life, Aldous retrieves his gun and promptly unloads three bullets into his face without any sort of preamble or regard for his audience. Cosima cries out, burying her face between Delphine’s shoulder blades in a bid to block out the horrible image. A loud gasp escapes from Delphine’s lips before she can bring a hand up to cover her gaping mouth. She’s unable to pull her eyes away from Patrick’s bloody corpse as the hulk drags his lifeless body out of the room without a word or second, closing the door behind him as if he’s merely taking out a bag of trash.

“I’m sorry you had to see that, but I think it’s important that you did.”

Aldous steps closer towards them and Delphine feels Cosima’s grip tighten to the point of being painful.

“We’re surrounded by enemies, even on the inside,” Aldous lectures them. “In this line of work, loyalty is worth far more than any dollar price you can name.”

He stops, considering the two young women before him. Cosima peers out from behind Delphine, her eyes red and glistening with tears but her glare as resolute as ever. Delphine swallows hard, nodding at Aldous’s words. He walks back over to his desk, grabbing the briefcase and then approaching them again, briefcase outstretched.

“Here.”

Delphine is stunned.

“A-All of it?”

Aldous smiles.

“Consider it a reward for your loyalty.”

Delphine reaches out to accept the briefcase and she feels Cosima’s nails bite into her skin as if to force her to retract her hand. The blonde knows that there’s no way she can pull back now, so she bites down hard on her lower lip to block out the stinging in her arm and accept the gift bestowed upon her.

“You have a bright future here,” Aldous tells them, craning his neck to steal a clearer glimpse of Cosima. “The both of you.”

Delphine diverts her gaze to the floor and nearly drags Cosima out of the room, rushing through a pool of blood in the process. She leads her Eurydice to safety, only she manages to make it all the way out without looking back once to assess the state of her girlfriend, the fear of losing her far too great.

It isn’t until they’re back at her apartment that she realizes the woman she left with was not the woman she came with.

This becomes gut-wrenchingly obvious as she sit atop her bed, listening attentively to Cosima’s sobs as they break through the barrier of the bathroom door. After over an hour of the shower running, Delphine finally finds the courage to make her way over to the bathroom door and knock gently.

“May I come in?” she asks softly.

When she isn’t greeted by an answer, she slowly opens the door a crack and slides her head in.

“Cosima?”

She isn’t met by the billows of steam she initially expected (although she’s fairly certainly there’s no hot water left at this point) and she steps fully into the bathroom, gazing through the glass of the shower door to spy her girlfriend sitting on the floor, knees tucked to her chest and face buried in them.

“Cosima…”

Cosima finally looks up, her face red and splotchy. Her makeup is long gone—cried off or washed away in the shower, she’s unsure—and her entire body trembles violently as she tries to catch the sobs and whimpers that rip through her.

“I can’t get it out of my head,” Cosima cracks.

Delphine feels her own chest seize up and she surges forward, climbing into the freezing shower to help pull Cosima up off the floor and into her arms.

[lalondeislandicedtea]

The Wrap-up of We Whispered Names

we whispered names to the things in the dark  is now complete. And man has this been a learning experience. 

Some thoughts under the cut:

1) Back when I was writing Night Owls, I pretty much only had one objective- to finish something. Anything. It was the hill I was gonna die on, because the last time I finished a chaptered anything was 2012, and it was pretty much one of those Baby’s First Fic sorta deals- extremely cringeworthy, poorly written, etc. I’m glad I wrote it, because it was definitely a learning experience for plotting, characterisations, etc. But I wouldn’t subject anyone to reading that, because good lord. 

It was important that it built a bedrock of skills, though. I spent the intervening years starting stories, both fanfic and original, never finishing them, bemoaning my lack of technical skill and commitment to my stories. So I sat down mid 2017-ish and decided that I was going to finish something. Anything. 

I did it in 2018 and that was really the ego boost I needed to keep going. 

2) One rule I had when I was writing Night Owls: no starting anything other than NO. I had to be focused. It really paid off. 

With WWN, I bent the rules somewhat and came out with two half-assed one-shots. There’s nothing wrong with one-shots, and I do want to be good at them, but they probably won’t be more than the artistic equivalent of doodles for me. 

I will still keep to that rule for anything else, though. It’s a good rule. Saves everyone a lot of heartache when I start more projects than I can handle and then inevitably abandon them all. 

I’ve finished two reasonably long chaptered stories. I can do another. 

3) My stories tend to balloon. I know that now. 

The outline of WWN was originally 4 chapters and an epilogue- one of those five times fics, kinda like “four times Terezi warded off Vriska and the one time she didn’t”. Clearly, no outline survives contact with the actual writing and that outline went up in flames. 

The premise itself took a big beating, too. It was supposed to be a normal college AU. Terezi and Vriska meet at a nightclub through half-shut eyes and spend the rest of the fic stumbling through hormones and finding each other. 

Then I sat down, wrote them meeting and it was very much not a college AU anymore, lol. That got spun into an outline which got spun into a real story. I’m glad it worked out, and touched on the themes I wanted to- (mostly, Vriska’s upbringing, her horrible mother figure, and the Sollux/Aradia quest for agency/coping with trauma). 

Also there’s a bunch of themes that I wanted to touch, but didn’t happen- Terezi’s big Thing, for one, the indecision. For a main character, Terezi Pyrope ended up irritatingly passive, sort of reacting and being pushed into things more than she initiated them. But then, it kind of worked out- one of the big Things ended up coming from Rose and her perspectives on Fate, and Destiny, and how us puny mortals just Deal in the wake of those things. 

Still. The side character drift might have given it a somewhat disconnected quality. We were chasing the Vrisrezi storyline, the Rosemary storyline, and the Arasol storyline, which only intersect passingly(mostly outside the grocery store, and whenever the Arachnea attacked). While they more-or-less resolved each other I could have put more thought into it(especially the Arasol storyline, most of which took place in the past)

Probably would have made the fic longer, though. And I’ve found that long is the enemy when it comes to me actually finishing. 

This wasn’t a problem in Night Owls because I made the deliberate authorial decision to only alternate between Rose and Terezi’s point of views. The one deviation which I’m annoyed about having to use was the Vriska PoV fragment, but I was too tired by then to think of a better way of showing that particular scene, with all the foreshadowing and past-revealing that it had to include. 

4) What did I learn from WWN? 

One major new thing I did in WWN: illustration. 

Will I be doing that again? Probably not, since illustrating the Shepherd took a solid day. But editing images from Homestuck proved to be much easier than anticipated. So maybe that, when I need to. I feel scummy about it, though. 

It was also an exercise in worldbuilding- how could I convey my world? Night Owls was a fairly generic ‘oh i’ve seen that on TV’ sort of thing, which I can evoke using attention to detail. WWN involves a lot of lurid description of weird spirit stuff, fleshing out details about how spirits interact with people- victims and supplicants. 

I fear that some parts might have been bogged down by the mechanics. The Shepherd’s storyline, especially- I’d had to establish her main mechanic, which is how her True Name grants resurrection, but I couldn’t think of a good way to have another character bring it up- hence, the forums. But Cassandra’s mechanics were also rather difficult to pin down. 

.... and that is in addition to the stuff I was already doing for Night Owls. I’ve never been to California in my life, but I decided to stick this fictional nonexistent city there anyway because why the heck not?

(Maybe one day I’ll actually write a story set in somewhere I’ve actually been. But... probably not) 

As for symbolism, most of it(spirit stuff) was incredibly hamfisted. Vriska’s wings, duh. Spiderweb chains. I know it’ll get the message across, though, so I’m happy with that. 

5) Where do we go from here?

I have a cyberpunk dystopia Roxy-fic bouncing around in my skull(around the same length as this) and a Striderlonde-centric clusterfuck that's set in this universe(current length unknown). But I'm a bit tired of WWN, so I'm thinking cyberpunk-fest, then "working title: dirk tries to summon his long-lost sister, fails fantastically, and rose and dave are on clean up". 

I also have “Terezi Pyrope: long-winded character study, with extensive allusion to The Waste Land by T.S Eliot”, mostly bc Eliot was an elitist dick and knowing that a young woman is writing fanfic based on his literary masterpiece would probably make him spin in his grave and I live for upsetting dead old white men. But that’s probably a long, cathartic project that I’ll start with more free time, and more surety in my skills. I’m also tossing up on illustrating it, because I’m Not Fast when it comes to illustrations and I’m loath to compromise my updating schedule anymore than my already erratic writing schedule does. But some of the imagery is just so good. 

[monstrousthingsrp]

Time Period Quick Reference:

Courtesy the lovely Erin (@incre-et-painture) we now have a handy-dandy little reference to help us all “flow with the times” without having to struggle between either spending precious time researching or winging it and hoping for the best! She actually lived in England during the period in which our game is set, so if you have additional questions about the setting she’ll be happy to help you out--

Although keep in mind that this is an alternate universe. As such, specific individual facts and historical events may be different. So don’t worry about getting bogged-down in the details; after all, this is a world in which The Cold War was replaced by The Worldwide Witchunt Wars. There probably was no Cuban Missile Crisis; there may not have even been a Space Race! We’ve left particular historical details vague enough that we can tailor them to suit whatever plot-points we all decide to develop.

So just as with the timeline, view the following as a reference guideline, not a checklist to obey!

Technology:

This is probably the most important one for us, as unlike most Potterverse games we’re actually playing in a world where your character very well might have access to the sort of technology that we take for granted in our current lives -- albeit several generations older than what we’ve got on hand now!

Most computers operate using ethernet cords to connect to the internet, laptops weigh an extremely portable 52 pounds, basically, and camera phones are cutting edge technology. The pictures taken with them are notoriously grainy at this stage and definitely not the crystal clear video we’re used to.

Most mobile phones operate on a “top up” method where you pay for minutes. They’re called track phones in the U.K. Also, most people are paying per text message sent, but it’s still a popular method of communication. You can top up your minutes in most convenience stores and by calling into your provider’s number. There aren’t any smartphones, apps, and other things like that. Public payphones still exist, although they are fading out by this point.

Travel is done by taxi, bus, and tube. Lyft and Uber do not exist. Londoners love the Tube and definitely travel that way frequently. For frequent travelers, Oyster cards are refillable cards that are similar to the Metro cards we use in the US. In fact, 2004 was the first year that Oyster cards existed. They can also be used on the bus and train, but not on taxis.

Please also remember that trains are a popular method of travel for Europeans. They’re also very reliable and a great way to get around. (As for whether people would be comfortable sharing a carriage with someone who’s got stars by their eyes, well...)

Pop Culture: Sport

As much as it breaks my heart, Manchester United won the FA cup in 2004. (Mod Note: her Erin, maybe in this messed-up world West Ham isn’t a total lost cause? I mean, sport doesn’t have to have happened the same as it did in reality, and we’ve got so many crazy things going on here already -- wealthy Weasleys, werewolf-friendly Blacks, a living Regulus...stranger things could happen, right?)

For those of you interested in talking football, here are the league tables for that season. Please keep in mind that different teams are in different leagues so, if your character follows a team, make sure you know who they play. :)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004%E2%80%9305_Football_League

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004%E2%80%9305_FA_Premier_League

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004%E2%80%9305_Football_League_Championship

Pop Culture: Telly

The Television lineup in Britain in real 2004-2005 contained the shows:

Little Britain

Spooks

Eastenders

Still Game

Dr. Who (the new series had just started, but the reruns were still extremely popular and well-loved by a majority of British people)

Casualty

The Doctors

Holby City

River City

Blue Peter

Strictly Come Dancing

And news is broadcast on the BBC News

For a comprehensive list, please see this article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_television_programmes_broadcast_by_the_BBC

Please pay attention to the years listed for each program to make sure that it’s applicable...and feel free to make up shows of your own that might exist in this reality! Just keep in mind that TV in England was a much smaller, lower-budget, more contained entity than the overwhelming glut of channels going on in America.

Pop Culture: Music

This will be a painful trip for some of us. After all, I think we’d probably all rather forget that Kelis ever proclaimed that her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard. However, it’s a sad fact that she did, and this is the time when it happened!

Now again, we are living in an alternate reality here, so feel free to make up other songs and singers and groups -- both mundane and magical; maybe the Weird Sisters and Celestina Warbeck don’t exist here (and maybe they do) but there are surely still some magical musicians (maybe some taking advantage of the “dangerous” aura their magic grants them, while others might try and downplay it) so please, let your imaginations run wild! Maybe this Brittany Spears never sang Toxic but rather Cursed...maybe this Goldie Lookin Chain wrote Wands Don’t Kill People, Rappers Do. Who knows, have fun! The following list is for reference so that you know what kind of music and what kind of bands (probably) exist in this world and this time. And, maybe, to give you all a trip -- pleasant or otherwise -- down nostalgia lane. Enjoy!

Here are the Top 100 Songs of 2004 in the UK:

01 Eamon ~ F**k It (I Don't Want You Back)

02 Eric Prydz ~ Call On Me

03 Anastacia ~ Left Outside Alone

04 DJ Casper ~ Cha Cha Slide

05 Usher featuring Lil' Jon & Ludacris ~ Yeah!

06 Frankee ~ FURB (F U Right Back)

07 Kelis ~ Milkshake

08 Mario Winans featuring Enya & P Diddy ~ I Don't Wanna Know

09 3 Of A Kind ~ Baby Cakes

10 Michelle McManus ~ All This Time

11 Britney Spears ~ Everytime

12 Michael Andrews featuring Gary Jules ~ Mad World

13 Destiny's Child ~ Lose My Breath

14 The Shapeshifters ~ Lola's Theme

15 Outkast ~ Hey Ya!

16 LMC vs U2 ~ Take Me To The Clouds Above

17 O-Zone ~ Dragostea Din Tei

18 The Streets ~ Dry Your Eyes

19 Busted ~ Thunderbirds / 3AM

20 Usher ~ Burn

21 Britney Spears ~ Toxic

22 Natasha Bedingfield ~ These Words

23 Ozzy & Kelly Osbourne ~ Changes

24 Boogie Pimps ~ Somebody To Love

25 Kelis ~ Trick Me

26 The Rasmus ~ In The Shadows

27 Band Aid 20 ~ Do They Know It's Christmas?

28 Nelly ~ My Place / Flap Your Wings

29 D12 ~ My Band

30 McFly ~ 5 Colours In Her Hair

31 Girls Aloud ~ I'll Stand By You

32 Cassidy featuring R Kelly ~ Hotel

33 Jamelia ~ Thank You

34 Peter Andre ~ Mysterious Girl

35 Maroon 5 ~ This Love

36 Eminem ~ Just Lose It

37 Rachel Stevens ~ Some Girls

38 Khia ~ My Neck My Back (Lick It)

39 Christina Milian ~ Dip It Low

40 McFly ~ Obviously

41 JoJo ~ Leave (Get Out)

42 Deep Dish ~ Flashdance

43 Lemar ~ If There's Any Justice

44 J-Kwon ~ Tipsy

45 Will Young ~ Leave Right Now

46 Sean Paul featuring Sasha ~ I'm Still In Love With You

47 Brian McFadden ~ Real To Me

48 Girls Aloud ~ Love Machine

49 Katie Melua ~ The Closest Thing To Crazy

50 2Play featuring Raghav & Jucxi ~ So Confused

51 Twista ~ Sunshine

52 Sam & Mark ~ With A Little Help From My Friends / Measure Of A Man

53 Robbie Williams ~ Radio

54 Blue ~ Breathe Easy

55 The Black Eyed Peas ~ Shut Up

56 Twista ~ Slow Jamz

57 Busted ~ Who's David

58 Ice Cube featuring Mack 10 & Ms Toi ~ You Can Do It

59 U2 ~ Vertigo

60 Girls Aloud ~ The Show

61 N*E*R*D ~ She Wants To Move

62 Christina Aguilera featuring Missy Elliott ~ Car Wash

63 Nina Sky ~ Move Ya Body

64 Anastacia ~ Sick And Tired

65 Maroon 5 ~ She Will Be Loved

66 Ja Rule featuring R Kelly & Ashanti ~ Wonderful

67 Goldie Lookin Chain ~ Guns Don't Kill People, Rappers Do

68 The 411 ~ Dumb

69 Usher ~ Confessions Part II / My Boo

70 Special D ~ Come With Me

71 Kelis featuring Andre 3000 ~ Millionaire

72 Keane ~ Somewhere Only We Know

73 Duncan James & Keedie ~ I Believe My Heart

74 Jamelia ~ See It In A Boy's Eyes

75 Natasha Bedingfield ~ Single

76 The 411 featuring Ghostface Killah ~ On My Knees

77 Franz Ferdinand ~ Take Me Out

78 Gwen Stefani ~ What You Waiting For?

79 Basement Jaxx featuring Lisa Kekaula ~ Good Luck

80 George Michael ~ Amazing

81 D12 ~ How Come

82 Kylie Minogue ~ I Believe In You

83 4-4-2 ~ Come On England

84 Jay Sean featuring The Rishi Rich Project ~ Eyes On You

85 Avril Lavigne ~ My Happy Ending

86 Rachel Stevens ~ More More More

87 Enrique featuring Kelis ~ Not In Love

88 Ultrabeat ~ Feelin' Fine

89 Jennifer Lopez ~ Baby I Love U

90 Green Day ~ American Idiot

91 The Streets ~ Fit But You Know It

92 Sugababes ~ Too Lost In You

93 Victoria Beckham ~ This Groove / Let Your Head Go

94 Ronan Keating ~ She Believes (In Me)

95 Shaznay Lewis ~ Never Felt Like This Before

96 Britney Spears ~ My Prerogative

97 Ashlee Simpson ~ Pieces Of Me

98 Busted ~ Air Hostess

99 Outkast featuring Sleepy Brown ~ The Way You Move

100 The Black Eyed Peas ~ Hey Mama

For the rest of 2004 in music in the real world, please go to this wikipedia entry: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2004_in_British_music_charts

Random Stuff:

Since the standard closing time for a pub is 11 PM, that’s when “Needles” closes. There are after-hours nightclubs, and people probably go to them, but Needles does its last call at 10:45.

Prostitution is not illegal in Britain, but running a brothel is. Basically, a person can sell themselves, but you can’t sell other people. (I just feel like this is useful information.)

Gun Control Laws had banned both automatic and semi-automatic weapons. Rifles were still allowed for those with hunting permits.

Courtesy Millie @theinvisibleboi: 2004 is also the year Facebook launched (although at that point it would have still been restricted to school e-mail accounts) and the Olympics were held in Athens, in case anyone wanted to feel old! (Probably wix would not be allowed to compete...but if anyone wants to create some kind of controversial Olympics history or event for this world, or otherwise alter history to conform to to AU, please feel free!)

Again, please use this wonderful collection of data that Erin has so helpfully provided us with for as general reference, not uncompromising and stone-set facts that you must know, utilize, and memorize! None of us are expert historians and unless you do something really obvious like reference an iPhone or One Direction, we aren’t going to call you out on it -- especially when an “error” might just be a difference between this world and our own. This is just to help you get in the “vibe” of the time period, not information that you’ll be tested on later. So don’t panic, stay loose, and feel free to get creative!

Thanks once more to Erin for putting this together for all of us, and remember that if you have questions about anything else regarding England in 2005, please feel free to message her and she’ll help out as best she can!

[fenrirgraves]

A “should we know us a little better” tag

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @thatdorktori​ (Thank you so much friend!  I LOVE these!)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Water, with fruit punch Crystal Light in it

2. Phone call: My grandparents; Nana and Papa.  They’re the best <3

3. Text message: My mom

4. Song you listened to: Since I’m playing Dark Souls 3, it’d be “Soul of Cinder: Phase 2″

5. Time you cried: Pretty sure I wake up with tears in my eyes daily because my dreams really touch my heart...but last time I genuinely cried?  Few weeks ago, I think.  Hard to say.

6. Dated someone twice: Yeah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Negatory

8. Been cheated on: Unfortunately

9. Lost someone special: Sadly

10. Been depressed: For over 7 years now.  Had a few suicide attempts...bad territory.  But I’m always willing to share, talk, help, and compare metaphorical scars.  There’s always someone who loves you.  

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yep, first time, only time.  Never gonna do it again

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Blue, black, gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Certainly!

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: I believe so.  

18. Found out someone was talking about you: You bet

19. Met someone who changed you: Absolutely, in very good ways.

20. Found out who your friends are: Big time

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Without a doubt

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Nearly all of them.  Some are musicians in bands I like that I’ve made friends with.

23. Do you have any pets: Yes and no.  No pets in my home, my mom is allergic.  BUT Nana and Papa have three cats...Scottie, BG (Beautiful Girl), and Namine.  I also consider my buddy Don’s cat, Striborg, to be my pet, as well as my friend Dan’s cat, Link.

24. Do you want to change your name: Wouldn’t be out of the question.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went to a Brazilian Steakhouse with Kairi, had my first legal drink, got ice cream, came home, and cuddled and snuggled

26. What time did you wake up: Today?  Like...5

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playin’ Dark Souls 3

28. Name something you can’t wait for: FYWROK (Fuck You We Rule O K) trip!  Weekend-long punk fest in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Going with my best buds, Don and Kelly, leaving on Tuesday!  

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Few hours ago before she went to bed

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: The mistakes I made with Kairi.  I hope that damage can be healed...

31. What are you listening right now: The fan in my room whirring, the birds outside waking up and chirping

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My dad was named Tom, and I have a friend in Fredonia named Tom.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My actions in the last year

34. Most visited Website: YouTube n’ Tumblr

35. Mole/s: Skin tag right around my armpit, that’s about it.  Had two moles removed though, from the left side of my neck.

36. Mark/s: Nothing really, but I have a cool scar on my elbow the looks like the Quake logo!

37. Childhood dream: To enjoy life to its fullest and not be bogged down but the world

38. Hair color: Naturally? Normal brown.  Currently?  Green.  In a few days?  Red and black

39. Long or short hair: Normally on the shorter side, but my I’m working on that depression growth.  Gonna swing by my buddy Gabe’s place before FYWROK to get it cut.  If my hair was straight I’d grow that shit the fuck out, but it’s curly and...bleh.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Technically yes, technically no.

41. What do you like about yourself: I’m smart, witty, charismatic, have great music taste...and I know good food.

42. Piercings: Nay

43. Bloodtype: UGH I had to trek ALL THE FUCKING WAY across my room to get my donor’s card... A-

44. Nickname: Sora

45. Relationship status: Single off of a 4 year relationship as of a few months ago...it’s complicated, but bottom line, we both needed a break, time to grow and develop ourselves.  I took her for granted, did a number on her even though she loved me passionately still...and we just needed time apart.  But everyone in my life believe that it’s real, and we can indeed make it happen again after we heal.

46. Zodiac: Capricorn

47. Pronouns: He/Him

48. Favorite TV Show: Something current?  Black Mirror

49. Tattoos: Nothing yet, but once I have those dolla dolla bills, you bet your ass

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: On my wisdom teeth last year...and on my balls in 2011.  Testicular torsion.  Worst.Shit.Ever.

52. Piercing: You asked this 10 questions ago

53. Sport: Olympic nothingness

55. Vacation: Anything, anytime, anywhere.

56. Pair of trainers: Boy I go barefoot, come on now

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Stinger Sub from Picasso’s 

58. Drinking: Nothing, currently

59. I’m about to: Eat some more

61. Waiting for: The inevitable sweet release of death

62. Want: Kairi

63. Get married: One day

64. Career: I’ll take it under advisement, forward that to my secretary.  I’ll get back to you on that.

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: THEY’RE EQUAL

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes.  They capture my soul.

67. Shorter or taller: Don’t really care

68. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Boy really now?

71. Sensitive or loud: Both, depends on the situation, boss

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, definitely.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, no doubt.  I’m not as bad as some of my friends, but regardless, my halo is a tarnished pinhole.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Indeed

75. Drank hard liquor: I prefer it to beer

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope, somehow I manage good track of that shit

77. Turned someone down: I think so?  Not sure.  I’m kinda particular.

78. Sex in the first date: Definitely not.

79. Broken someones heart: As much as I hate to admit it, I know indeed that I have

80. Had your heart broken: Shattered

81. Been arrested: Technically.  I was 15, almost got charged with petty larceny.  Nice.

82. Cried when someone died: No doubt

83. Fallen for a friend: Yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: I try my best to

85. Miracles: You sexy thing

86. Love at first sight: Not love, but definitely the beginnings

87. Santa Claus: Y E S

88. Kiss in the first date: If it is appropriate, then yes

89. Angels: There are indeed some girls out there who are

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Don and Kelly

91. Eyecolor: Brown like mud! <3

92. Favorite movie: Mr. Nobody (Extended Cut of course)

Sorry to disappoint but I don’t know 20 people that I can tag that’d do this, so I’ll throw one at this boy @waffle--kun, because he loves this shit as much as I do.

As for the rest...

ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS CAN CONSIDER THEMSELVES TAGGED!

[thisdaynews]

Sanders backers: Campaign plagued by dissension and disorganization

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/sanders-backers-campaign-plagued-by-dissension-and-disorganization/

Sanders backers: Campaign plagued by dissension and disorganization

Expectations for Bernie Sanders are sky-high, especially in New Hampshire, where he defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016 by 22 percentage points. | Joshua Lott/Getty Images

2020 Elections

A staff shakeup and loss of an endorsement to Elizabeth Warren has allies warning of deeper problems.

MANCHESTER, N.H. — Some of Bernie Sanders’ fiercest supporters are sounding the alarm that the campaign is bogged down by disorganization, personality clashes, and poor communication between state operations and national headquarters.

After a pair of setbacks this week — the acrimonious shakeup of his staff in New Hampshire on Sunday and loss of the Working Families Party’s endorsement to Elizabeth Warren a day later — Sanders’ allies and former aides are worried that recent disappointments are not one-off stumbles but rather emblematic of larger problems in his bid for the White House. The concerns are particularly acute in New Hampshire.

Story Continued Below

“Seeing the campaign not be able to outshine Warren with WFP progressives doesn’t have me questioning WFP’s process,” said Rafael Shimunov, a former national creative director for WFP and 2016 Sanders volunteer. “It has me questioning where the Bernie campaign could have done better, because I want to make sure the strongest candidate unmasks Biden and unseats Trump.”

The worries come as the campaign enters a critical, more urgent phase. After Labor Day, more voters typically tune into the election and begin to make up their minds. Expectations for Sanders are sky-high, especially in New Hampshire, where he defeated Hillary Clinton in 2016 by 22 percentage points.

But Warren has jumped in the national polls to tie Sanders for second place, and Joe Biden has proven harder to knock off his first-place perch than his rivals expected.

“In 2016, Bernie was the David who beat Goliath in New Hampshire — the expectations this time around are incomparable,” said Andrew Feldman, a Democratic strategist with close ties to labor groups. “It would be a mistake to try to replicate the type of campaign that Sanders ran in New Hampshire in 2016 because the dynamics of this race are completely different. For Sanders to be successful, a professional operation is critical.”

Jeff Weaver, a top Sanders adviser, told POLITICO that numerous rank-and-file members in the Working Families Party support Sanders and that his ground game in New Hampshire and other early states is strong. Sanders has 14 times as many identified voters in the Granite State than it had at this time in 2016, according to his campaign, and is doubling his field staff there from 26 to 50 employees. He also said the campaign’s national and states staff are in daily contact, and that he has a regular “states call” in which he asks his aides across the country to be honest about the problems they’re seeing.

If some of Sanders’ allies in New Hampshire have jitters, Weaver said, it is only because they are wrongly comparing the 2020 campaign to his first bid for the White House, when he took the lead in the state by August and vastly out-organized Clinton.

“Last time, our field program was so far superior that I think it may color people’s views,” Weaver said. Now, “some of our competitors do have good field programs — Elizabeth Warren is one of them.” He added, “Some people are trying to position themselves in quote-un-quote Bernie’s lane. But as the campaign goes on, people who want a bold, progressive vision for the country will come back to Bernie Sanders.”

Sanders has received good news in New Hampshire recently, including a Franklin Pierce University-Boston Herald poll last week that showed him in first place with 29 percent, Biden in second with 21 percent, and Warren in third with 17 percent. But that was quickly overtaken by bad press about the staff reorganization.

Sanders’ top brass told Joe Caiazzo, his New Hampshire state director, that he was being reassigned on Thursday. Around the same time, the Sanders team also parted ways with Kurt Ehrenberg, a well-respected liberal activist in the state. Though the campaign had days to prepare a press rollout of the staff changes, the news broke on Sunday shortly after Sanders’ aides told his state steering committee that Caiazzo would be shipped off to be Massachusetts’ state director.

By that point, members of the committee were going public with their concerns. POLITICO spoke with nearly a dozen current and former Sanders advisers and allies, some of whom declined to discuss internal dynamics on the record because of fear of retribution. Since Sunday, campaign staffers have been calling members of their steering committee, asking them not to speak to the media since stories about the internal shakeup were published, according to three people who received the calls.

Weaver said Caiazzo was reassigned to Warren’s home state because he has years of experience there, including as Sanders’ political director in 2016, and the campaign is “not conceding Massachusetts to anyone.” He said Caiazzo had done a “great job” building the team in New Hampshire, and that the shift was part of a series of changes aimed at growing the campaign’s operations in Super Tuesday states. Sanders’ team said it also recently hired senior staff in Oklahoma, Colorado and Minnesota.

“It’s another example of the campaign bungling things,” said a person with knowledge of the situation. Instead of talking about “making aggressive moves here and building out Super Tuesday states … they’re answering bad press about why they’re moving their New Hampshire state director.”

Sanders’ allies have raised several concerns about New Hampshire in recent weeks. Caiazzo warned about the staff’s productivity in the state, a source said. A former Sanders adviser said the campaign is “both physically and mentally based in Washington, D.C.” and therefore too disconnected from on-the-ground state operations. Members of Sanders’ steering committee in New Hampshire said they worried that Warren and others had a better ground game.

Caiazzo and Ehrenberg had also clashed: “There was some personality rubs, frankly,” Weaver acknowledged.

At the same time, some Sanders supporters are distressed that he didn’t win WFP’s endorsement. The loss especially stung because they believe he has the most progressive labor plan of any presidential candidate in history: His proposal calls for European-style collective bargaining across industries. Sanders has also stepped up his efforts to win more institutional support than in 2016, and his national political director, Analilia Mejia, was previously the executive director of the New Jersey Working Families Alliance.

Many Sanders’ supporters blame WFP’s leaders for making the wrong choice, and knock them for not releasing their individual vote tally of online members. But some, like Shimunov, said they didn’t question it and noted the campaign had agreed to abide by the rules ahead of time.

Sanders’ team declined to share details about what it did to try to secure the endorsement.

Some of Sanders’ allies said his challenges are deeper than any staff or communication issues. Warren, like Sanders, is a left-wing populist — and though the two candidates had fairly different bases a few months ago, there are signs that’s starting to change.

For instance, Biden and Warren are now virtually tied for the second choice of Sanders’ supporters, according to Morning Consult’s latest poll; likewise, Sanders and Biden are tied for Warren fans’ No. 2 pick.

At the same time, Biden’s candidacy has been more durable than many Sanders’ allies expected. Unlike Clinton in 2016, Biden’s campaign has proven more nimble in reading the primary electorate and at times adopted more liberal proposals in response, they said.

Biden’s team has also borrowed some of Sanders’ movement-building message, with the former vice president saying recently that he would rally voters in Kentucky to bring Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) to heel.

“I don’t think Bernie’s doing poorly, but not as well as some people would like,” a Sanders ally said of his campaign in New Hampshire. “Sometimes personnel changes aren’t to do with personnel having failed. … But if the change energizes people, whether or not it was actually necessary, that’s probably a good thing.”

Even some of Sanders’ rivals said it would be unwise to discount him. Despite the concerns about his ground game in New Hampshire, his volunteer army remains formidable: A Boston Globe/Suffolk University poll released in August found that 35 percent of Democratic primary voters in the state who had heard directly from a campaign had been contacted by Sanders’ team, more than any other candidate.

“I think he will do well here, frankly, but I’m a bit of a contrarian on that. Everyone seems to be in a big rush to write him off,” said a top New Hampshire Democrat and veteran of many presidential primaries in the state. “John McCain and John Kerry were both deemed ‘dead men walking’ at this stage, too, and came back to win the New Hampshire primary.”

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[mobilestuff]

Twitter Following - How to Boost Your Followers

Twitter has grown in popularity almost buy instagram followers uk exponentially since its arrival on the web. Twitter is a social networking site. People who start twitter accounts can you use them for various different things. The idea is to start connecting with other similarly minded individuals when you start an account. There will be people who will take interest in what you have to say and, or offer. The people that show interest will become known as your followers. The people who are classified as your followers will be simple for you to reach so that you can update them about things of various natures. Of course, you can also ask them questions or carry out any other conversations.

 When you converse on Twitter, you are tweeting. A tweet is the unique 140 character message that allows you to communicate with others on Twitter. You may be thinking "why only 140 characters?" Don't worry the limit is actually a good thing. It keeps the conversation lively and prevents it from bogging down like a long email or chat.

 Twitter can be used for both business and personal reasons. You can keep in touch with friends and family and quickly let them know what you are doing or where you are (you can tweet from your cell phone!) If you are running a business, Twitter can be a great way to broadcast news and updates to your customers.

 Now that you know what twitter is, you may be wondering just exactly how you get followers. Of course, the first and obvious step is to begin communicating with other twitter users. This can be as simple as conversing about a website that is beneficial to you, a blog that interested you, any current events or a myriad of other things. Another good way to communicate is by answering questions or pointing people in the right direction. People will greatly appreciate your help and be more buy instagram followers uk receptive to following you. These people may or may not tell other people about you, but there is always the chance that they do, which is highly beneficial to you. Being kind is another great way to gain followers on twitter. This step is closely linked to the latter step and is simple enough to accomplish. If someone on twitter does some sort of favor for you, whatever it may be, always make sure that you thank them. The word will spread about you more quickly if people like you.

 Another obvious way to gain a larger twitter following is to add value to your network. By becoming a person who tweets mostly interesting links and other media, more people will follow you. This is because you are providing valuable information to them and so you are an asset. Of course, you will want to participate in other twitter websites. By being active in their blogs or buying their products, you can keep and build a larger following. Showing interest in your followers is a wise idea. You may also want to help your followers promote their products or media. This is just another chance to get your own name out there on the twitter network as much as possible.

 To get more info, tips and tricks to increase your Twitter Following check out There are many methods to getting Twitter followers. Some of them work and some don't. There are also many methods of getting followers that are seen more as "spam" and not as something that will bring you quality followers. You have to make the decision whether or not you want to use these spam tactics to increase your following. buy instagram followers uk

 Here are some methods to get more followers:

 ·         Buy an account from a service that has already obtained a lot of followers for you

·         Spam follows to anyone you can find and hope they follow back

·         Join a "mutual-follow" ring and follow those who promise to follow you back

·         Follow known spammers that have many people who auto-follow on their list

·         Follow people that you know auto-follow

·         Search Twitter for people who share your interests and then converse with them

 I have never bought an account nor have I participated in "follow rings" and I don't suggest them to people. I think the whole point of Twitter is for the experience and you can't achieve this when you buy your way to the top or beg for followers.

 Adding known auto-followers also has its risks. However, since you often need to build a few numbers when you're new, this can be a way to build up your account a little only in the beginning. But once you get regular followers that you converse with on a regular basis, you will want to go through and clean out anyone who doesn't talk to you or whose tweets you don't benefit from. buy instagram followers uk

 The final tip is the most important one. Following people who you have an interest with and then talking with them and retweeting their posts is the best way to get more followers and to show that you are genuine with your account. Now that you know these methods to get Twitter followers, you have to make a decision about whether or not these methods will work for you.

 Lisa Mason is a freelance writer with a specialty in Internet content and SEO articles. She has written thousands of articles, hundreds of ebooks and thousands of website pages and related content. She is the author of How to Earn a Living Writing for the Internet. buy instagram followers uk

[whatscoolaccordingtodom]

June 2018

June is the beginning of summer in the Northern hemisphere. American artists traditionally begin touring around this time with many of them even kicking off their world tours with a new album to promote because it just makes marketing sense. Initially I was going to write only about the G.O.O.D Music releases and how interesting this 7-song album every week for 5 weeks concept is, but “Conspiracy Theory” Dom could not ignore the spice brought in by The Carters, or the instant classic by AKA. June produced a definite shift in the way albums are released with many of the bigger artists opting for fewer songs. Select artists are also shying from promoting runaway bubblegum singles and then putting them on their albums in the name of sales; a more cohesive amount of plays-per-song is being favoured, proving artistry beyond the ability to make radio bangers bringing Tyler the Creator and Mashayabuqe to mind.

Starting on the 25th of May with Pusha T’s – Daytona. The G.O.O.D music President who has crafted a respectable roster, most recently signing Valee and 070 Shake who both released their debut tapes under G.O.O.D Music earlier this year, titled GOOD Job You Found Me and Glitter respectively. 070 Shake features on “Santaira”, singing the chorus, which is almost haunting. Push has built a career off his dark braggadocio cocaine inspired raps, almost every song is layered with references to or stories about cocaine, he also happens to be a top-tier lyricist with a respectable stash of flows. Daytona saw him stay very much in his lane on top of crisp Kanye produced beats, definitely falling in the top half of his discography, yet really left me wondering what King Push would’ve sounded like? “What Would Meek Do” is a highlight as well as “Hard Piano”, but it’s “Infrared” that landed the Drake publicity assist. He was baited, causing him to release the “Duppy Freestyle” where he attacked Kanye and Push’s fiancé, “The Story Of Adidon” in response held no punches. It is said Drake recorded a career ending reply, which he was advised to not release, it was then hinted the song would be released on Scorpion, but we never got it; a disappointing end to entertaining beef.

Same day as Daytona, New York’s favourite son and leader of the A$AP Mob, A$AP Rocky released his released third official album titled Testing. In my mind’s eye it’s less of Rocky trying new sounds and exploring the boundaries of rap, and more of him putting in an honest effort and staying true to the sounds of Harlem. A$AP Rocky is a rapper’s rapper who dabbles in fashion and takes on the fulltime gig of being his New York based mob’s front man. His influence pool has grown expanding his signature style. He’s been forced to grow up over the past few years, on “Changes” he speaks about exes moving on, getting married and having kids and on the album addresses sexual harassment which various mob members have been accused of. Anyone who’s been paying attention must have noticed that Rocky really gets along with OF frontmen Tyler and Frank, and of late him and Frank Ocean have collaborating quite a bit with “Purity” as a fitting addition to their growing joint catalogue. “Praise Da Lord” is the albums highlight, following the trend of featuring Skepta -as if the UK has no other fire rappers- Rocky crafts a banger that’s well worth the listen.

June 1st saw Kanye West his release his 8th solo album. Starting with the haunting “I Thought of Killing You”, the song/album is in line with his experimental journey with Hip-Hop and his influence, a journey which has seen him gain and lose millions of fans in waves. The ebbs and flows of public acceptance every changing, in his most recent efforts however has without doubt been the most controversial and most irreversible with millions vowing to boycott Ye after his slavery statement on TMZ. The album is filled with what seems to be snapshots of Kanye’s life in 2018 much like TLOP did in ’16. It is the snapshot of a rebellious boy with white in his beard, three kids, a supermodel wife, and a company destined to be worth $1bn dollars (in his own words). Kanye is no longer the weird beat making kid who wanted a chance, he has grown into an attention grabbing, outspoken erratic who is learning to apologise for his mistakes. “Violent Crimes”, one of the most talked about songs on the album is just a father trying to give his daughter a relevant song in 2018 that hides none of the truths. This made Ye come off as questionable, wishing his daughter has a terrible figure so niggers won’t ogle her. Ye is the story of Spider Man, except he never listened when uncle Ben told him “With great power, comes great responsibility”, he’s had to learn that for himself the hard way. Now at 41 years old, the artist seems to be settling into his place in the world, but is it too late for the black guy who shares dragon energy with Donald Trump? TLOP’s most underrated song was “Highlights”, here too the beautiful “Butterfly” goes almost unnoticed.

One week later on the 8th of June, every G.O.O.D Music fans most impossible dream came true. Most of the original dream team and a plethora of others came together for an unforgettable classic where they also addressed mental health issues. Laying confidently on top of obscure samples and Kanye’s over the top production is a project with simple lyrics but a strong message. Kid Cudi sees his return to G.O.O.D Music, of course he has appeared on every Kanye album since the 808 album, but this is more. The Kudi Sees Ghosts album, in typical Ye fashion was a credit mess, no doubt a law suit or two will spring from the 2018 G.O.O.D Fridays after wave. Mos Def features in the title song and gives a striking verse which is very relevant in the African context; “Civilisation without society” is a dream many Africans have, but would never dare to say out loud.

On this side of the pond, Potchefstroom based creative collective, The Faculty dropped their debut tape What Do We Call This released exclusively on Soundcloud June 8th. Find them on Youtube and Soundcloud @TheFacultyWorldWide.

Future released his soundtrack for the movie Superfly. This project highlights his talent beyond making songs, it saw him craft a playlist where you can almost imagine the movie even if you hadn’t seen the trailer.

June 15 was heavy with releases starting with the North’s favourite son, uBaba kaKairo released his 4th and final album Touch My Blood an interesting take on long projects. AKA gave us 16 enjoyable songs. The Supa Mega’s biggest irk is his need to place outdated runaway singles on his albums in the name of sales, to his credit the rest of the songs on this particular album were not mere fillers, they bang. “Fela in Versace” is a definite highlight. “Jika” will eventually find it’s place in the South African Wedding Song Hall of Fame alongside legends like “Marry Me”, sidenote on how AKA is actually fixated on making songs for this strange demographic. It’d be nice to hear what Touch My Blood would’ve been without “Caiphus Song” and “The World is Yours”. In true bitch with long nails fashion, AKA dragged and mocked his enemies the whole way through his project. Relief came in the form of his many features, picking and choosing from the elite few from home and giving us his now to be expected Nigerian fire feature from Kiddominant; anyone remember Burna Boy’s big local break? I must also note that L-Tido was better than decent on “Amen”, it wasn’t earth moving or anything, just didn’t dislike it. Stogie T is a solid rapper, but he failed to show it in the “Star Signs” music video, it kind of makes the song hard to like now since the video was ruined by his awkward visuals.

The spirit of the youth going independent and doing things their own way is best embodied by The Wrecking Crew Collective. A Reece brought it and 2 of his friends for L3 (Long Lost Letters), with his Wrecking Crew mates Ecco and Wordz, they deliver a compact project, filled with jabs at exes and haters. B T P H a graphic ode to P**y,[NDW1]  is so smooth and sees the rappers trade lines almost like a freestyle session. A-Reece takes time out to throw jabs at Nasty C, and we’ll absolutely see them returned on Friday the 6th of July when he releases his album. “Better Daze” is a stand out track for it’s message, it’s really just a group of friends who are happy their Youtube page hit 1 million views, a relatable goal currently being pursued by many African youths in the hopes that Youtube will give them the income the job market so clearly won’t

Jay Rock released his 3rd album, titled Redemption saw the TDE artist who is currently on tour with his label mates release a Kendrick assisted album. As usual Kendrick handed him his single with a bow tied, and even a memorable Future feature in the form of “Kings Dead”. This album is filled with enjoyable tracks though, the title song sees SZA and Kendrick come through while the clever “OSOM” features J Cole. But “WIN” takes the cake, the track is infectious and easy to remember but doesn’t come off as a pop single. The album is well structured paying homage to the traditional album layout, but it is carried by Rocks talent and the Kendrick assists.

Nasir had one job. Be better than 4:44, that’s all. In many ways Nas achieved this goal, the production was tailored to let him shine and his lyrics were well thought out, if at times a bit conspiracy theory-ish, somebody can somebody say not for radio? Nas has refreshed himself, we are given a similar message but we do not get bogged down in the typical patterns of his previous works. The disappointing release of this album reflects how men with abuse allegations are treated in current times, showing quite fairly that women are no longer sitting on the side lines and that abuse in the music industry can no longer be tolerated. The album didn’t do so well in the first week but the core fan base came through allowing many of the artists in this category enjoy Gold and Platinum status for their latest releases, it seems we can only be outraged and boycott when the hashtag agrees not when it actually matters.

My favourite by far in the pettiness series is from House Carter, directly from King Beyonce when she said “HOVA, BEYZUS. WATCH THE THRONE”, I shouldn’t have to explain how petty this line is. These jabs saw The Carters rain on Kanye’s G.O.O.D Fridays roll-out and Nas’ album by releasing their project on Saturday the 16th of June, the day after Nasir was released. Some sort of pleasure was found in the fact that their album with all its drama was still not able to secure the Number 1 spot that week. Everything is Love is the final chapter of a ‘true’ story we all lived out with The Carters as they threw stones in their glass house. If Lemonade opened the can of worms, 4:44 let us know that Jay was owning his situation; Everything is Love is their victory lap around Tidal subscribers and ticket purchaser’s cheque books. I mean, releasing a joint album while already on tour, they could potentially redo venues with a different show. Talk about the dream team. “I want you to come inside right now, so you know just how I feel”, B always uses lyrics that her more innocent listeners can sing along to in oblivious abandon, but on this album,  she also finds time to make Jay-z a bitch not just at that cringe worthy moment on “Love Happy”, the rest of the song more than makes up for it, but still. In terms of delivery, her rap game is fire. On “Nice”, the Jay-Z verse is him at his usual braggadocio self, it’s the pleasant feature from Pharrell that tells on how his voice has improved over the years, it’s only that high note that separated them; where Beyoncé took it in her stride. Skateboard P had to bring in the autotune; she managed to out rap Jay and to no one’s surprise, out sing Pharrell, on one song. Jigga Boo is upset that the faceless award givers now consider him too old for consideration, perhaps it’s time for him to join their ranks. I mean, how many Grammy’s is enough Grammy’s? He’s also tired of being famous which also gets him sued, Hov is so tired infact, that he shows up now to court without a suit, that’s when he does show up to court.

Keep That Same Energy, a line seemingly borrowed from Ye’s Wouldn’t Leave, really showed what the team at G.O.O.D Music had to go through to finish the series off strong, after Kanye took it upon himself to bite off more than they could collectively chew. Mike Dean, Ye’s producer of choice went on a drip after KTSE was released, exhaustion we’ll assume. Teyana’s album was the one I feared for most, having never heard an album from her before, but loving all of her contributions since joining G.O.O.D, notably the songs she appeared on for Cruel Winter; I was ready for Kanye to be tired and bring out a less than great album, and at first listen I thought I was right. The 7-song structure was bumped up to 9, and the songs themselves are generally quite low energy. BUT boy was I wrong, KTSE is RnB, it manages to house tracks with interesting messages like “No Manners” and “Hold On” while sexually inspired ballades like “3 Ways” ft Ty Dollar $ign make one reminisce on old RnB. It’s a fitting coming out party for the mother of one and wife of Iman, the 2 characters who feature quite prominently in her work, it’s almost as if she made the songs for them. I don’t know her personally, but I feel like Teyana has a lot of faith in Kanye, waiting all these years to bring out her album, I’d say it was worth it. As she herself says on “Young Love”, she isn’t just a musician, and I mean come on; who hasn’t enjoyed watching her dance? The album stays true to Kanye’s theme of Love, “Self-Love” focuses more on telling people that you have to love yourself first.  

Like G.O.O.D Fridays all grown up, but this is experimental Kanye, one who changes his entire album the week before release because he upset every black person, he tweaks tracks just before release and changes track names after release. Kanye West, formerly but still Yeezy, now Ye did his best to surround his releases with the theme of love but in true Kanye fashion he made a complete mess of things. From his affiliation with Donald Trump to the headline grabbing slavery comments, his version of the press-run before the album did not go well, nor did the actual album roll-outs. The game has been hinting at this faster roll out strategy for years now. Music culture has been speeding up and becoming more exciting, but what does this mean for the longevity of the art? Also, can an album reach classic status anymore in a time when they have only one month to live, where the first week basically decides the albums fate.

On the 29th of June, Drizzy Drake released his 5th studio album titled Scorpion. It has his face featured prominently on the cover, so an emotional album is to be expected. His brave attempt to give us two albums paid off, Disc 1 is for his rap fans and it is laden with good songs, “8 Out Of 10” is first to mind. Disc 2 is for his singing fans, and they received what they had been waiting for in spades. Drake shares his love for putting break away singles on his albums with AKA and here no fewer than 3 of those songs appear, the truth is anyone listening to the album must skip “God’s Plan” and “Nice For What” because at this stage there is no need to play these songs in your own company. “Talk Up” see’s his pettiness feature Jay z so the 2 of them can send subliminal shots at the G.O.O.D Music crew, Jay z manages to give one of his most disappointing verses this year on a song he really didn’t need to rap on. “Don’t Matter To Me” signals where Drake is in his career, the top of the rap game, he’s figured out longevity and now he’s fulfilled his obligations according to his Cash Money contract; the Michael Jackson feature is a flex. Scorpion is an addition to Drakes catalogue and stays true to the playlist format of his previous album, it plays like a rap playlist from him and then an RnB one, there is no true cohesion or album theme other than his trademark complaining and emotional whining. BUT what does it matter what I think? His Editors Note on Apple Music mocked, silenced and uppercut the critics and haters before they could say anything. The man is an obvious legend who will go down as one of Hip Hops greatest, even if he never releases another album or chooses to never rap again, his place in the history books is cemented.

S/O Ty Dollar $ign and Jeremih for taking the baton from The Dream and running with it. Such artists are often under valued for their independent projects, but the value they have collectively added to a plethora of other artists albums this year cannot be understated. These 2 artists have contributed in a massive way and it wil culminate in a joint album later this year.

S/O  the artists Nasty C – Stings and Bling, Zakwe – Cebisa and Future – Beast Mode 2 all released on Friday the 6th of July.

Also, who knew Jay z could cook?

Love Dom

[meditationadvise]

3 Ways to Boost Your Life Energy and Stay Connected To Yourself

You know that rare state of flow you enter sometimes ... when whatever's going well, points are running smoothly, as well as you've accumulated a great energy? When troubles come up, but you're able to just steamroll right over the top of them as if they were the unfortunate Prairie wolf from the Disney Road-Runner cartoon?

It's that state when you simply appear to rise over opposition, absolutely nothing fazes you, and you surf the crest of the success wave with energy as well as speed up until you deplete on the coastline, smiling, with your adrenaline rushing and your whole being desire to obtain available as well as do it again.

When you feel, as Leo Di Caprio screamed in that scene from Titanic, like the 'King of the Globe'.

This is what occurs when something I call your life energy is peaking out.

When your life power is peaking, you're not being bogged down by resistance, laziness, or feelings of being stuck in-a-rut.

You're cruising at optimum altitude.

You remain in the chauffeur's seat of your personal life with your foot relaxing heavy on the gas pedal and the radio going full-blast.

Put simply, life energy is your energy to involve with life specifically as it is right now. It's an extremely fluid part of your being, as well as it's impacted by all kinds of things - just what you're doing, exactly what you're assuming about what you're doing, exactly what you desire you were doing, as well as just how well you're doing it.

By the method, 'involving with your life exactly as it is right now' does not indicate 'wishing you were in your dream profession' or 'daydreaming about what life will certainly resemble when you have your dream partnership'. It means involving with your life NOW, as it actually is, regardless of what it resembles or just how 'damaged' it is, and also replying to whatever circumstance you're in such a method as to transform valleys of monotony right into PEAKS OF LIFE ENERGY.

As I see it, there are 3 basic degrees of life energy:

1. Peaking out (when you remain in 'circulation' and mashing resistance like it doesn't exist

2. ‘Medium' (when you're mildly bothered by resistance and procrastination, yet are making dogged progress), or

3. 'Rock bottom' (when you can hardly obtain it together enough time to take a seat at your desk therefore long as CONSIDER just what has to be done today.)

And certainly, the state you want to experience even more of is the TOP! Nevertheless, for the majority of people, a life-energy peak is something that 'just happens' to them - it's entirely out of their control.

They aren't sure ways to control themselves and their lives so about make that 'peak' a day-to-day experience.

This short article will certainly instruct you just how to peak out more and also remain more positive and also certain on DAILY BASIS.

TIP #1: DE-CLUTTERIZE

The settings you border yourself with affect exactly what's occurring inside your head greater than you realize.

Since our outside settings are essentially a mirror-reflection of what's occurring inside us and considering that this also works both means - our insides start to handle high qualities of exactly what our outdoors atmospheres look like, too.

if you're constantly BOGGING YOURSELF DOWN in mess, stacks of paper, heaps of old clothing, messy, topsy-turvy half-finished tasks, and cobwebby windows.

I can ENSURE you that your life power - your feeling of forward energy, your ability to proceed and accomplish points with power and also excitement - will feel bogged-down as well as stagnant as well.

Now, the inquiry is how you can do away with your clutter.

To remove your clutter, I recommend you take a technique that you're comfy with. Beginning small: an untidy cabinet that you can clean out, a bag of garments you could arrange, a heap of dishes that have to be washed.

You don't have to tackle the attic room, the garage, as well as the basement at one time. You shouldn't, since you'll bewilder on your own as well as strengthen the life-sapping concept that de-clutterizing is pointless.

Instead of beating on your own prior to you also start, start with something that you could end up doing TODAY.

Take an appearance around you right currently. Exactly how do you feel, on the genuine, inside degree, about your surroundings - the desk, room, or car that you remain in as you read this? Notice what you feel.

Do not enable dismal thoughts of all the other desks, spaces, as well as autos that likewise require taking care of to enter your brain and also sap your power, they're simply psychological clutter.

Look at where you are ideal CURRENTLY, notice exactly how you feel - as well as act upon the sensations that show up. Releasing unneeded attachments inevitably results in a BOOST OF SPEED toward just what you REALLY want!

TIP # 2: LEARN HOW TO ADHERE TO YOUR INSTINCTS

Agonizing regarding decisions detracts solidly from your ability to have a peak experience.

Uncertainty, absence of count on your own, and bothering with whether you're 'doing it right' are among the basic parts of sensation stuck.

Listening to your intuition and also translating the messages it sends you, on the other hand, is a fail-safe means to substitute pain as well as 'stuck-ness' for clearness, peace, power, and peace - among the foundation of the peak experience as well as mountain-high life energy!

Here is a remarkable pointer that will help you to follow your instincts.

Meditation. Preferably in the AM

Meditation, any time of the day or evening, is like an instantaneous de-staticker for those intuitive messages.

It aids you disregard the garbage and also area in on right stuff that truly resonates with you.

So if you can give on your own 5 or ten mins to just stop talking, take a seat, as well as pay attention for your very own assistance, you're currently miles in advance of many people.

Meditating at any moment of the day is a terrific method to reduce down and also tune into the nuggets of primaeval knowledge that are on a regular basis being shoved your method by the scooting carriers of your instinct. Reflection is the most effective method to reinvent your life again.

TIP # 3: ACKNOWLEDGE THAT 'S THE BOSS

It frequently surprises me just how challenging people make life for themselves. When it familiarizes exactly what's best for you, there's just one specialist: YOU.

When it concerns making decisions regarding your life, your money, your partnerships, your job, WHATEVER, the fact is simple: You understand even more than everyone else in the globe created!

Why?

Because everybody else - even the very best life-coach worldwide, also your mom, even your high-school guidance counselor, also your therapist, also your $500-an-hour life train - only knows just what THEY would do in your shoes.

You're the boss here.

You demand to stop providing your power away to other individuals. You should ACCUSTOM the suggestion that you really recognize best what's ideal for you and also begin attributing yourself with the unbelievable wisdom and decision-making capacities that you, in reality, essentially have, deep down inside.

The ability making choices as well as change your life, your mind, or your heart isn't something that you need ASSISTANCE with.

Sure, you could ask various other people for their point of view ... pay attention carefully ... and think about what they need to say.

You can also permit their viewpoint to influence your own, if it truly reverberates you. And you can definitely UTILIZE other individuals's suggestions for guidance IF it appears like something that you CONCUR WITH.

BUT!!

Blindly following other individuals's guidance and also feeling as if you cannot trust your very own capacity to earn your personal mind up as well as awaiting someone else to tell you exactly what to do will ALL conflict like billy-o with your capacity to INVIGORATE YOUR LIFE and EXPERIENCE LIFE'S PEAKS FOR YOURSELF.

It's really that simple!

YOU KNOW BEST. If something charms to you, it's for a reason. Pay attention to your very own knowledge - it's extra effective compared to anyone else's!

Most individuals simply do not understand how to acknowledge their very own employer - themselves - and also end up hovering around, hesitating, refuting their very own power, and pushing all the responsibility as well as splendor onto other individuals's shoulders.

It's like I told Mr Would-Be Graphic Designer: 'You're obtaining all curved out of form concerning this, when actually the ONLY 'issue' is figuring out which selection will certainly make you the happiest!'

Granted, sometimes the options we have are much more hard compared to, 'Should I go to Australia or remain in New Zealand to seek my fortune?', but the necessary truth remains:

All the decisions we make are, in essence, choices about which selection will make us happiest.

Father Paul Keenan, author of the spirit-warming Good News for Bad Days, suggests that the simplest way to resolve ANY problem - any painful circumstance of life, any tragic choice, any quagmire whether individual or professional - is really easy:

Ask yourself, 'Exactly what are my options right here?'

Such an approach is an easy yet mind-bustingly efficient way to make each complex-looking scenario right back to the bare bones, and places the focus squarely where it ought to be: on what YOUR selections are.

Something regarding the method this inquiry is phrased just appears to function. Instead of asking, 'What should I do? Which is the best choice?", or ' How will I recognize exactly what's right?', Dad Keenan's basic approach maintains your focus exactly where it needs to be: By yourself perspective.

I want to take this concept one step even more and also recommend that, after you've provided your alternatives - all the alternatives you might reasonably take, whether you desire to do them or otherwise - that you remain to narrow it down already asking on your own:

Which of these options will certainly make me really feel the best?

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The a lot more usually you address your own problems on your own in this means, the stronger and also better you really feel regarding on your own, the much easier it reaches proceed making up your very own mind, and also the even more 'in contact' you get with your personal employer as well as at the very same you also enhance your life energy.

I will stop below I wish you appreciated reviewing this article on increasing your life energy. If you really did please do not fail to remember to share it on your favorite social media.

[devine-mae]

Photography as Art: The Discounting of a Passion

What is considered art today was not always so, before art was art it was a way to communicate and to record history. Drawings were the first way of leaving a “written” history for people to see and understand. This gave art a purpose. The purpose was to document and relay information to the next set of people to come along. What is the definition of art? This can vary between people, “it’s a subjectively biased interpretation of something – whether that something is an event, a place, a person, or a thing, is irrelevant” (Thein 2013).  Fine arts have always been painting or drawing, as they were the first ones to be regularly practiced. Later followed theater and dance, along with music. A painting was a way of documenting historic moments or people before becoming an art, as documenting later became photography’s department. As art evolved so did photography. Photography became not only a medium for documenting and recording visual history but for expression and creativity as well. Photography is an art as it affects culture and challenges the artist to evoke an emotion through their works. Photography grew not only with art but with the social changes that washed over the public.

Expressive and Explorative

Artists often shoot to make a change and be heard. Their voice is what gives the piece the ability to evoke emotions. Artist work in its infancy is thought of as wrong or worthless but later found to be “brilliant,” a true piece of art work. Masters of today’s classic art were seen in much the same light as photographers when they first started. Both the old masters who practiced and the new artist who practices, explore an idea they try to extract the complexities from and break them down with in their art. This is practiced with series that are otherwise known as concentration. A concentration is a series of works where the artist is looking into a specific topic. A series of photos often has a deep meaning to it. A photographer has a style that can either take away or give to their series. This is where you can see the artist come out in their work.

Exploration and expression, this only challenges the artist to grow to produce emotion and though evoking images. New artists strive to change the landscape of art. They want to change it down to its core. They use the newest tools they can to do this, such as social media and the artists around them (Wall). The artists involved in movements push the world forward, change art and the emotions it brings out in the public. Movements such as this lead to the development of art as it is known today. Today’s art photographs are the emotional and thought evoking works. Art touches the emotion by giving the public something to connect to, it is about being realistic and raw. An image can often tell a story that words cannot grasp.  Art is about change and making a statement, that feeling developed in the image and the way people relate to the image is what makes it art.

Not only have the ideas and the mediums changed, but the technique in art has changed over time. They can be seen in the classics, there is realism and there is pointillism. There are artists like Picasso, he was not held in high esteem when he first started. Today’s art is not always held in high esteem in its infancy, but the changes that the arts have had on society are inspiring. Today’s contemporary art photography has transformed much since the last century in not only the techniques and challenges but in how it is described. “The old opposition, between, “artists who use photography” and “photographers who aspire to art,” which characterized some of the later twentieth-century debates about art and photography, has more or less vanished” (Bate). Photography has many aspects as other art forms do. It takes focus to achieve a well done and organized piece, the effort and the purpose makes the piece, “The artist pays careful attention to composition, the focus, the quality of the lighting, the poses of figures in the photograph and even during the editing process where the artist has hundreds of photos and only a few which they choose to promote as "art." The artist is looking for those perfect photos where everything came together to create something unique” (Moffat). Art is not made for any other use, it is simply made for the sake of being art. It is used to deliver a message. Art is made to express that message in an appealing way that opens a conversation between the viewer, the artist, and the issue.  

The Ease of Photography

The argument that is made that photography is too easy to make is closed minded and restrictive, exactly what this medium is about disavowing. Conventional thought would lead one to believe that photography takes nothing to create. But when you look at some of the images captured of the people in other countries, the work that it took to capture their essence in a single image and the impact that those images have on the public and culture is astounding, that cannot be discounted.  “It is good because it allows anyone with a creative mind to express her or his ideas without being bogged down with technique, like learning how to paint. This will present a great opportunity to those creative individuals. On the other hand, everyone snapping another picture, to clutter the closet, or more recently, the computer storage takes a little wind out of the photographic sail. This apparent ease of making pictures erroneously creates the impression that photographic art is easy” (Ekin). Not every picture taken is a work of art, those ones posted all over the internet of girls dolled up are not art, the girl’s make-up work is art but the photograph is not. There is a difference between selfies and photographic art, in that is one is documentary and the other is a creative thought. Both are photography but the first is a way of documenting rather than art. This is the flexible part of photography as it is not bound to any one use. It can open the world for a creative mind and show what has come before. Photography can connect the viewer with the artist and with their creative message, photography can connect a viewer with the past, a memory, current events or even the future. When you tell a story more often than not you are trying to create an image in your listener’s mind, photography can make an even stronger connection, by having something that looks familiar that can spark a memory in the photographer’s audience.

Creative Thought

A photographer presents the real world with a biased eye or interpretation. Photography has more to it than just point and click it has an artist eye directing the focus. “The artist pays careful attention to composition, the focus, the quality of the lighting, the poses of figures in the photograph and even during the editing process where the artist has hundreds of photos and only a few which they choose to promote as "art". The artist is looking for those perfect photos where everything came together to create something unique” (Moffat). Art is not made for any other use, it is simply made for the use of being art. It is used to share a concept, it is made to express that concept in an appealing way that opens a conversation between the viewer the artist and the issue. Much like a writer writes to express an idea, an artist creates to express an idea. A photographer is often an artist that uses a camera as the medium. Much as a musician would use an instrument.

An artist must have an idea and focus otherwise the unique image will never come around. A photograph can be taken by anyone but if they are not taken to be art then they are not art, they are a tool to capture that subject. No professional artist gets it just right on the first try each time, there are hundreds of scrapped pieces or unused drafts. The discussions have long been going on whether photography is a fine art. “A photograph captures a moment in time in its actuality, whereas something like a painting or drawing, however accurate is essentially a rendering of whatever the artist chooses to see” (plumridge). Photography is better at depicting the real world as opposed to painting and drawing. Painting and drawing are both an expressive and biased view of the artist where photography is expressive and biased as well but realistic and more relatable to the viewer. The weakness to this is that photography is not as open to artist expression as painting or drawing, as photography should work within the constraints of the real world.

Art has a long and illustrious history of being a controversial practice. Art in the 21st century has come to be a hotchpotch of subgenres, where there is a way to express creativity in many forms. Some things in the modern culture that are called art are making it even more of a challenge for photography to be considered art. These images such as selfies, snapshots, and phone filtered Instagram images are clouding what art photography is and lowering the art as a whole. Today’s generation of youth have a hard time making their own mark in the art world. As the line between art and snapshots is getting brushed over, thus photographs of artistic value get lumped in with the selfies and snapshots. But in truth “Photography as an actual art form, to do more than merely preserve visual memories, therefore needs to be well defined” (Moffat). Photographic art pieces can be the passion of an otherwise unimpressive student and thus they are an artist that works with a camera rather than with a paintbrush or an instrument.

The Focus

Art is not just the product it is the process. There are artists that go in to their own world while working on the piece. Art can be a meditation, a way to relieve the stress of the other parts of life. As a student works on a piece in class, it often does more than just gain them a grade. Their art work can open them up and let them shine as a person. They may lack math or English skills but have a creative mind. Photographic art is an art to those students that walk around in school and take images of life that capture something in that moment. A wedding photographer strives to capture those single moments, a smile, a look, and all those secret little moments (Craft). Moreover, candid and street photography image are a strong genre as they show the world as the photographer sees it. Street photography is not just the people but the streets themselves. Abbott, a photographer in the 30’s, took images studying the architecture from a worm’s eye view this means looking up at something, its counter point of view is a bird’s-eye view or looking down on something. These two views can add interest in to the image by how they distort the subject as this is not a normal angle that a person looks at the subject from. All be it Abbott did not see herself as a street photographer, she did take candid images of the public streets (Blumberg). Others brought photography in to its own by the use of color. Today, though, photography has moved slowly back to black and white as some of the most powerful images taken are without color. Color can be a strength to an image or a weakness to it. Color is often used as a symbol of life, joy, youth, and other more “colorful” parts of life. Thus the taking out of color can often emphasize the emotion of the image as you no longer are blinded by the pretty colors but truly see the beauty in someone’s face or the depth of an old colonial building’s story. Candid images are personal they tell the story of someone or something. In just a couple seconds a relationship can be captured, the relationship between the subject and their environment or with someone else (Craft).

The Changes Made

Social changes follow media. In today’s world trends come and go as fast as a 100th of a second. It only takes one image to start a trend or fashion, where rends used to last decades, and images taken by photography often led the change as paintings and sketches did before them. Artists are forward thinkers that push social change by the images they present, they are met with defiance at times. The open thinking of photographers often led to a change in thinking of the artists of that era and this then became the pop-culture, leading people in to the ideas of a new era.  “Photographers have often used their cameras as an instrument of reform, to show the world a problem and convince people to work toward a solution” (American Photography A Century of Images). Images of abused and abandoned animals pull at the heart strings and pictures of African children, with no fat, just skin and bones, pull at the heart strings, they tug on them and ask for help from the public. These images ask the viewer to come together with others and change society and the way things are. Do these images alone fix the world’s problems? No, but they call for action, this starts the road to change. The visual world is so important to the human mind, being blind would lose the mind the chance to learn and change with different mediums. Blindness is not only a physical blindness but a mental one if someone refuses to see the meaning in a piece then the piece will have no effect on them. Music and dance and painting also have the ability to change the world bring light to a problem or start a new way of thinking about the everyday stuff. Not all changes made by photography are long term, some are just to get you to feel something and this effects how you act for that next day or so. There are thoughts and images that are meant to last a life time, to push for a serious and needed change. The photographic method chosen for the image can have an impact on how the image is perceived.

The Over Branching Genres

All these genres fall within photography but under that are two large kinds of photography, Realistic and Conceptual. Now conceptual is a more studio based work where the image is not there to be captured and used but the image itself is set up. This kind of image takes many of the same thought techniques as Realistic, such that both have to have a well thought out angle, back drop, lighting, and mode. Photography has to have thought and instinct, especially when one is considering the realistic or candid images that are taken. An image taken candidly is a moment, it requires precise timing and a technical know how to make the image come together as a whole. The realistic images of today are often to point out today’s problems.  As conceptual images tend to work to make you want to think of an idea rather than a real issue. Photography may take less time but that is because today’s world moves at a fast pace and that the images that are earth shattering or emotionally evoking.

There are many sub genres to photography, along with many different process that have different effects on the image and how it affects its viewers. These affects work differently between film and digital. In digital the use of a double exposure can be done in a few seconds with the use of photoshop. A double exposure is when more than one image is laid over another to create a single finished product. As this affect can be achieved with in film as well but takes longer and requires more skill. This gives yet another point to discuss about photography as an art. If film photography takes time and skill then is it not an art, it takes less time than a painter but it still takes technique and work to achieve. Knowing the different techniques take skill and practice to know. Just as learning the composition and the shapes in a painting takes time to learn. Many painters became photographers as it was a faster process but they were already considered artists, thus the work they produced became known as art. Art, giving reason to the idea that if the creator is an artist then no matter the medium the piece is art. Thus, they are artists who use a camera. Much of today’s work can be seen as just that, work done by an artist with the use of a camera and its many pieces.

The concept of photography was thought of by innovative people and it will be furthered by the same kind of people. Photography leads the charge in today’s technology world. It is a tool as well as something to play around with. In many digital media, photographic images are used to make advertisements, or they may be used just as a base, but photography on its own is meant as a tool for a photographer to use to create. An artist can use any medium to create and true art photography needs an artist behind it.

Finally, this brings it to focus photography is simply the medium for artist to work. They can be referred to as photographers but they truly are just artists that express creativity with a camera. Photography itself requires skills and technique that painting does and does not and vice versa. Painting and drawing are nothing short of hard to perfect whereas photography is less so that way. In their own rights each medium is an art form and it is just a tool to be used by those who wish to express an idea. The artist must be able to make mistakes and grow, art was meant to document. A personal sketchbook documents that life. A piece of art now documents a thought and a feeling thought and expressed by the artist behind the camera. The photography is just a medium, the art is when an artist take up the use of a camera.

  Works Cited

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