#it never bothered me before that i’d just not write for a few months at a time and then suddenly get motivation

[whumpy-wyrms]

ITS BEEN A MONTH SINCE TLLR CHAPTER 11????? WHAT

[the-thing-withfeathers]

the archer’s arrow part 1 (w.a.)

something’s wrong

next part

a/n: heyy my loves. as some of you know, i have no wifi for a little bit cause yup dorm life. i managed to recover this from my offline files. i’d love to hear what you all think of it <3

pairing: wednesday addams x female reader

warnings: cursing, mean!wednesday, rejection. extremely not proofread.

➶ ➶ ➶

she had rejected you then, you remember it clear as day.

it was a good day. the perfect day.

you had been hyping yourself up to do it. yoko & enid gave you extra encouragement. they were so positive that she would say yes.

“addams!” you called out after her, jogging while fumbling your bookbag on your shoulder. you held a black rose in your hand.

she spun around, her eyes glaring right into your soul. you nearly froze, coming to a stop directly in front of her. you always found her pretty, those cute braids had you reeling for ages. but once, you caught her with her hair down, you thought you might die.

it was an accident, of course. it was a night that enid hadn’t warned you to knock before coming in. you bursted in and there she was, her hair down as she changed into sleeping clothes.

you thought about it for days.

“what is it?” she said with a raised eyebrow.

sure, she scared the living hell out of you. but you couldn’t help yourself from wanting to get close to her.

the past few months have been a work-in-progress for you. you started out by joining her as she wrote while waiting for enid. you took a special interest in viper, making sure to always ask her about her progress. she hesitated to tell you initially, but then she started to tell you without you having to ask the question.

then you started to join her outside of her writing. at lunch, you sat next to her. in the library, there you were not even an inch away. she found herself asking you to join her on her escapades in the forest.

it felt nice dedicating time to the raven-haired girl. you thoroughly enjoyed her company— and you were sure she enjoyed yours too.

“i was wondering if… if maybe…” you stuttered out, handing the rose to her.

“spit it out.” she said. you sensed that she was particularly mean today. but that was how she was most of the time.

“if maybe you wanted to go out sometime?” you asked, a sheepish smile on your face.

wednesday furrowed her eyebrows at you, distaste clear on her face.

“what? no.” she spat out and shook her head. “what makes you think i want that?”

your eyes went wide, shocked at her response. you knew wednesday wasn’t particularly kind— you don’t know why you thought she would let you down gently.

“i don’t have any form of interest in you.” she hissed. “did you think because we spent not even a fraction of time together that i liked you?”

‘the worst she could say is no!’ enid said. nope. this was significantly worse.

“no… i…” you tried to say something, anything. but you were completely stunned silent.

wednesday grabbed the rose from your hand, snapping the stem in half and tossing it towards your chest. your hand flew towards it, catching it. it was the perfect metaphor for your heart shattering.

“wednesday…” you managed to get out, whispering the girl’s name.

“what?” she made an annoyed face at you.

“is… is something wrong?” you asked, your voice almost pleading. you had a weird feeling in your stomach, like something definitely wasn’t right.

“what’s wrong is that you’re bothering me. get lost.” her voice sounded so hateful. you’d never heard so much venom from her before.

she spun back around and simply walked off.

you stood there, shocked. that was the first time you’d ever confessed your feelings for someone. you felt like you could throw up from how harsh her rejection was.

you ran off to tell enid and yoko about it, you were close to tears.

“she hates me!” you sobbed out. “i thought we were friends but she just hates me!”

“she doesn’t hate you, darling.” yoko said, rubbing your back.

“i will have words with her!” enid growled softly. your breathing started to stabilize.

“don’t, enid. it’s fine. it’s not worth it.” you stopped her. you didn’t want to piss wednesday off more.

“it’s just not worth it.”

the next few weeks were absolute hell on earth. you didn’t realise how much influence wednesday actually had until you found yourself sitting alone again at lunch. the library no longer was the hub for studying for your friends, they would gather in their own rooms. your only socialization came from the archery club.

enid was your last link to that group. yoko started to get busy with her own confession to divina being successful. even then, she would come to your room instead of you going over there.

as for wednesday, you only saw her five more times aside from class before you left nevermore.

one. with eugene.

you sometimes interacted with him when it came to the hummers. you came from a family of hunters, it was how your archery skills were so good. he’d often ask for your assistance in collecting herbs from the forest. when you came in with a bag of fresh herbs, you spotted wednesday in the corner of the tent. she was using a mortar and pestel, presumably related to why they needed the herbs.

“wednesday, can you grab those please?” eugene said, his hands busy with the bee hive. wednesday turned to look at you, her jaw tightened. you guessed that she wouldn’t like seeing you.

you held out the little bag, her hand hovering under it. you dropped it into her hand and flashed a thin smile at her. she simply turned around and went back to her work. she tossed the small bag to the side, like it was radioactive.

“see ya, eugene.” you quickly made your way out of the tent.

two. at your archery tournament.

you were practicing especially hard for this tournament. it was an inter-school competition and you would be going against so many other students.

you were nervous, more than nervous.

you prepared to enter the competition grounds where you would be introduced. as the lights shone on the entryway, you jogged out, waving at the audience. your family was there somewhere, as were some of your newfound friends. you asked enid if she wanted to come but her answer was unsure.

you took your place at one of the arranged shooting aisles, squinting to see if you could find your family.

as you spotted them, you also spotted a blonde girl with colourful streaks sitting next to them. you waved in their general direction but towards enid specifically.

your wave faltered as you also noticed a shorter, darker-haired girl next to her.

addams?

you thought for a second then realised. of course, she would be here for xavier. you heard they were getting closer recently.

your body language changed, you were suddenly scared again. it was like nothing had changed.

you shot your little heart out the entire tournament. you were a force of nature. the fear turned into determination. you pictured wednesday addam’s face right on the damn bullseye.

“first place goes to…” the man on the stage said into his mic.

and then the world slowed down for you, the noise was drowned out.

the next thing you felt was your entire team’s arms around you, cheers erupting from their mouths.

you won. first fucking place.

three. at weem’s office.

you had gotten called over the loudspeaker that there was a message waiting for you at the princpal’s office.

safe to say that you were quite worried about it. you didn’t know what to expect. you were a good kid, you never got into trouble. maybe you did something you didn’t even know was against the rules.

you made your way down the long hallway from class, picking at your fingernails.

she was walking out as you were walking in.

you turned the corner and accidentally bumped into her, colliding with her smaller figure.

you grabbed her waist to steady her then quickly stumbled backwards, trying to take your hands off her as fast as possible.

“sorry, didn’t mean to.” you raised both your hands in defense.

“whatever.” she muttered, walking past you.

principal weems grabbed a letter out from a drawer in her desk.

“here, darling.” she handed you the envelope. you recognized the seal with ease.

a smile creeped up your face as you tore open the envelope, gripping the letter so hard that your knuckles turned while.

you turned to weems and nodded once, your eyes crinkling from happiness.

“congratulations, sweetheart.”

four. in the forest.

she didn’t see you, you were in the trees. you were practicing your stealth for when you went back home to visit your family. with the killing of animals not permitted in the forests, you knew your family was going to tease you for not being in shape. you were perched on a branch that was directly beside her. she had sat down to read a book.

she was probably one of the only people brave enough to casually spent hours in the forest. you held onto the branch above you as your eyes were trained on her. you loved how cute she looked when she was focused on something. you watched as her eyes trailed over the words. she looked particularly stressed, like she was forcing herself to read.

you worried for her despite all she said to you on that day. you still cared for her, so you showed concern as you noticed her throw the book off to the side in frustration. you jumped down as she stood up abruptly.

“wednesday.” you called out. normally, people would flinch. but not her.

“god, can’t seem to get rid of you.” she groaned.

“something’s wrong.” you stated, “what’s wrong, wednesday?”

“can’t you just leave it alone?!” she screamed at you, her hands flailing in the air. “you don’t have to be so good all the time! sometimes things are better without you around!” she stormed off, bumping your shoulder as she made her way out of the forest.

you turned around to watch her, tears brimming in your eyes. you should have known better.

five. the day you left.

you had come into enid & wednesday’s shared room to collect a quiver you left there for enid to bedazzle. she wanted to do it so you wouldn’t forget her— and to say good luck.

enid was busy getting final preparations for your goodbye so she sent you there alone.

you knocked three times before realising the door was open. you poked your head in only to see wednesday holding the quiver.

“sorry, that’s mine.” you stepped inside, moving closer to her.

“i know. enid’s archery game is questionable at best.” wednesday scoffed, turning around to look at you. she pushed the quiver against your chest. “heard you were leaving. got poached by that elite archer school.”

“yeah… i’m just grabbing this then going.” you shook the quiver as a gesture.

“good. at least we can finally get some peace around here.” she said, sharply turning and walking to her balcony. “nevermore is better without you.” she followed up as she opened the door formed in the glass window.

“bye, wednesday.” you called out loud enough for her to hear. she froze in place and just sneered, walking out.

you sighed softly and exited her room. you left ophelia hall, turning back only once to whisper a faint goodbye.

as your final luggages were being lifted into the car, you received hugs from your friends. some gifts, some cheek kisses.

and as you departed, you swear you could hear the faint noise of a cello.

and now you were back.

you were back and better than ever.

you decided to finish your senior year at nevermore, wanting to be one with your people again.

you thrived at the archery academy, you grew stronger and sharper. your skills were as enhanced as ever. but you were ready to come home to your roots.

you held your head high as you walked into weem’s office once again. she sent you a message to meet her at her office on your first day back.

you knocked on her door three times and heard a “come in!”.

you cracked the door open slowly, she stood from her desk with open arms as she saw you.

“welcome back!” she beamed at you, you jogged towards her for a hug. “look at you. you’ve grown!”

she was right, you had grown since she last saw you. your constant physical activity allowed for a growth spurt.

“i can’t believe you’re back.” she said, comical disbelief in her voice.

“neither. but the academy was full of normies, i missed the solidarity i had here.” you nodded, “and i heard the archery team has made improvements.”

“yes, it has. including introducing the team captain— which i would like you to be.” weems said, her warm smile always made you feel comfort.

“i would love to. i’m excited to get started.” you clasped your hands together.

“good! well… i’ll let you get back to moving in. you’ll have your old room at ophelia hall again, enid is waiting to welcome you.”

you expected nothing less.

as you reached the front of ophelia hall with all your belongings, enid ran straight into you, enveloping you in her arms.

“enid!” you exclaimed as you dropped your duffel bags to hug her back. “you nearly toppled me!”

“i’m sorry! i just got too excited!” she pulled away and grabbed your bags on the floor. “c’mon!” she said, excitedly.

“enid! slow down!” you called after your bubbly friend, she was running way too fast for you to keep up. curse her werewolf energy.

you managed to catch up eventually, but then enid was already on the way back down to grab the rest of your things. you figured she could handle it by herself if she kept going like this. you sat on your bed, the other bed was empty as your old roommate had graduated.

you heard your door open again, scoffing at the noise.

“jesus enid, you work fast as h—“ not enid.

wednesday. wednesday addams.

“wednesday.” you breathed out softly. she had grown too. her braids had gotten significantly longer, she grew into her face more. she clenched her jaw at you— did she really still hate you after all this time?

“so enid was telling the truth, you are back.” she huffed softly. “you shouldn’t have.”

you rolled your eyes at her. “i’m done with this, wednesday.” you waved a hand at her in dismissal. “you can’t seriously still hate me.”

“no. i’m serious. you shouldn’t have come back.” it was almost like she was warning you. she was staring at you like she hoped you weren’t real. you could tell that there was something bigger she wanted to tell you.

“what? wednesday…” your face scrunched in confusion. it was cut off by enid entering your room, dropping three duffel bags on your floor.

“all done!” she dusted her hands together.

“thanks, enid.” you chuckled. “honestly, it looked like lightwork to you. did you get much stronger after wolfing out then?”

“hell yeah!” enid flexed her arms as a joke. “you better believe it!”

the two of you laughed, your arms crossing over your chest.

wednesday was starting to get annoyed, was she just not in your line of sight? there was a time that she was all you saw, but now it’s like she was just a dust speck.

she had to make you understand. she was about to speak again until enid interrupted.

“okay wends, we better let her unpack.” enid spoke up, grabbing wednesday’s shoulders and turning her around.

you waved to the both of them.

as you sat back down on your bed, you couldn’t get wednesday’s warning out of your head.

did wednesday know something that you didn’t? was there a reason she was being so mean to you?

you shook your thoughts away, opting to rest your eyes. you slept all your worries away, instead looking forward to your second nevermore journey.

➶ ➶ ➶

wednesday didn’t think you would be back— ever.

she thought her efforts were good enough to keep you away. she was wrong, she should have tried harder to make your life at nevermore a nightmare.

“hey wends?” enid asked her from across the room. “how are you feeling about her being back, really?”

“it’s horrific. this is one of those days that bring me dread— and i mean these words literally.” she said, pacing back and forth. “i normally enjoy dread— just not today.”

“you harbor way too much hate for her. she’s never done anything to you!” enid put her phone down on the bedside in frustration. “is this all because she asked you out?!” enid couldn’t believe it.

“yes.” wednesday said, lying through her teeth.

“seriously?” enid rubbed her fingers over her eyes, growing more annoyed with her roommate.

“yes. i’m serious.” wednesday responded, sitting down on her bed. “i have to get her out of here again.”

“wednesday friday addams!” enid stood, wednesday’s eyes showed some form fear for the first time in a long time. she didn’t enjoy when enid was like this. “you will do no such thing! she’s back because she wanted to be around people like her! you don’t get to make her an outcast in a school for outcasts!” enid’s claws unleashed themselves, a sign of her geniune anger.

wednesday sighed in defeat, her eyes closing, a sign that she needed to think.

enid grumbled before returning to her phone usage. wednesday was acting strange— stranger. and enid had no idea how to help.

➶ ➶ ➶

wednesday stepped onto the grass, her eyes narrowing at the subject in front of her.

the muscles in your back tensed as you drew your bow. you were focused on a target a few meters away from you. you exhaled slowly.

“hello.” she spoke.

“fuck!” you jumped. the arrow flying straight past the target. “addams! jesus…” you held a hand over your heart. “what’re you doing here?”

“came to watch you practice.” she said, firmly. you were taken aback by her answer.

“watch… me… practice?” you repeated back to her in a question.

“yes. i want to write a study about archery.” she came up with a lie to make it more convincing.

“oh… okay?” you tilted your head at her. “what’s the catch? come to stab me with an arrow maybe?” you prodded a bit more.

“no. i just want to have a better idea of the sport.” she shrugged.

“wednesday, you’re an archer too. you’ve done this well enough.” you pulled an arrow from your quiver, lining it up with the bow.

“i know. but i haven’t done it in a while.” she took a seat directly behind you. it was weird to have her just staring straight at you. you shot another arrow and hit the bullseye.

“your form has gotten better.” she commented. you turned your head only slightly.

“after two years of rigorous training, i sure as hell hope so.” you bent down to grab your water bottle, taking a swig of it.

“you should have stayed with it.” wednesday stared up at you, “i don’t know why you’re throwing it all away to come back here.”

you sighed as you drew your bow again, “sometimes normies are just… they don’t get it. they just don’t.” you shot another arrow, hitting the red.

“i suppose. but you’ve never had a problem with normies. you blend in well.”

“okay, wednesday. look…” you turned to her, setting your bow down. “i’ll let you watch me practice if you stop asking me about why i came back, okay?”

“fine.” she begrudgingly agreed.

you turned back to the target, concluding the rest of your practice. you packed away quickly seeing as wednesday helped. she knew her way around the equipment so you were more than happy to accept her help.

“thank you, addams.” you smiled at her as you two got everything packed away. she remained silent.

“when do you practice next?” she questioned you, almost like an interrogation.

“tomorrow at 6pm. i practice in the forest.”

her breath hitched in her throat and you squinted at her.

“don’t you have other places to practice?” she asked and you were left wondering why she didn’t want to go to the forest. she was normally comfortable there.

“i like the forest. it’s better to be in the environment. i get to practice against wind more as well.” you clarified.

“fine. okay. i’ll be there.” she crossed her arms and started to walk away.

she amused you everyday, this one. no wonder you were so drawn to her.

however, over the two years you’d been away, you knew not to let yourself be vulnerable to people who would just hurt you.

and in doing so, you closed your heart to wednesday addams.

➶ ➶ ➶

author’s journal

heyyy pookie nation!!! this is gonna be a little three?? parter that i’ve put together quickly in this internet outage. it’s the only thing i’ve got saved offline so we’ll have to work with what we have right now. i’ve been wanting to write something proper for wednesday so i hope you guys enjoy this 🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

i hope to put more stuff out asap <33

kisses xx

[writeonwhiskey]

the skz house: ch 23 (chan pov)

a/n: thank you @bahablastplz for editing! i really loved writing from chan's pov. i hope you all enjoy this one!!

[ read chapter 22 here ]

Chapter Twenty-Three: Of You

You haven’t spoken to me in days.

A few months ago, this wouldn’t have bothered me at all. I would have been fine with it. I would have preferred it. Here I am now, silently pleading with you at the table to look at me. But you don’t. And it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said those things to you the other night. I shouldn’t have fucked you like that.

Seeing you hurt as a direct result of my actions has never been easy to accept. In the beginning I brushed it off as being necessary. After you bulldozed through the walls I had up, though, it felt impossible to reassemble them. I’m Humpty fucking Dumpty over here.  

Should I have sent you away when you showed up at our house? Lee Know was in charge of the applicants, so I was floored seeing you walk in behind Seungmin that day. If I’d seen you amongst the candidates beforehand, I would have rejected it...maybe. I would have at least been able to spare you of the bullshit I put you through then, and again now. It’s unfair to you. I know it is.

But once you were here, I didn’t want you to leave. I pushed you away because I needed you to make the choice to go—I’m too selfish when it comes to you, I learned that quickly. I’ve never felt this way about anything before and I honestly don’t know how to cope with it. I feel whole when I’m with you in general, I feel invincible when I’m fucking you…how can this possibly be wrong?

Now I’m left hanging on to the tiniest of threads that connect us and I’m trying not to cling too hard for fear that it will snap from all the weight I bear in this. The thought of losing you terrifies me. And I know it’s inevitable.

I attempt to talk to you after dinner when I see you in the hallway. I want to apologize for my actions, but you cut me off.

“Don’t be. You’re right. We should want to do this and I’m going to give it a try.”

I feel consumed with rage at your words. I want to lash out and scream or punch a hole through the goddamn wall. But I don’t. I let you go.

I have to let you go.  

On Sunday when you come to my room to grab your sheets, you don’t say anything. I deserve it though, don’t I? If I hadn’t taken that trip with you my father wouldn’t have grown suspicious. I wouldn’t have to give you up for the next two weeks when I already have so little time left with you. If I hadn’t opened up to you, this wouldn’t be so hard on both of us. And on top of all that, I’m the one who told you we should be open to this first. I’m reaping what I’ve sown.

Allie comes in a little while later to put her sheets on your bed. The sight of them there doesn’t look right. Neither does she.

I watch as she moves around my room, oblivious to my mood and making small talk. I’m responsive…I think.  I will myself to feel some kind of emotion while looking at her—even if it’s just lust. She’s pretty, I could be attracted to her. If I call her over to my bed right now, she’d come. I could fuck her…but I don’t want to.

My ears perk up when she says she wants to spend the first night with me. As much as I want to object, I don’t. I can’t, really.

After dinner, I quickly shower and get into my own bed with the lights off before she returns. I can’t fall asleep, though. I’m thinking about you. Who are you staying with tonight? Are you sleeping in their bed?

I’m still wide awake when she comes back in, wearing just a towel. I can’t even be bothered to take a gander.

It disturbs me.

She shouldn’t be here. 

“Chan? Are you asleep?” she calls out into the darkness.

I remain silent and still. I hear her change into her pajamas and climb in her—your—bed, and finally feel relaxed enough to actually try falling asleep.

She stays with Hyunjin for the next three days and it feels like a relief. I’d rather be alone. But…being alone, with my thoughts does little to help me. I can’t stop thinking about you. What are you doing? Is Seungmin being good to you?

As fucked up as my mental and emotional state are, on Jeongin’s birthday I can’t keep being a recluse. He’ll be offended if I don’t show up for a little while, at least. So, I join the others in the basement for drinks and karaoke. Drinking to drown my sorrows is not something I enjoy, but tonight I want to. Especially since Allie will be in my room. I don’t want to do anything I might regret—but have you?

I’m one drink deep by the time you come in with Changbin. You seem happy. He offers to get you a drink, which I don’t mind. Then he calls you his girl. Which I do mind.

At that, I finish what’s left in my cup and give myself another heavy-handed pour of whiskey to replenish it. Have you fucked him? I wonder. The thought makes me feel sick to my stomach. I can’t help but feel selfish. In this fucked up situation, I know none of these guys would do anything to intentionally harm you. I know you’re in good hands, but…fuck. I don’t want anyone else on this entire planet to have you.

As the night carries on, everyone’s having a good time and I’m sulking in the corner like a toddler that’s been forced to share his favorite toy. I don’t know how else to feel right now. I am used to seeing you be flirtatious with Hyunjin. Seeing you cuddled up to Changbin on the couch, though, makes me want to snatch you away from him and claim you in front of everyone. But I can’t.

I can’t even be mad at him. He means well. And when he gets up to perform, I’m left smiling at his antics. I couldn’t seriously hate any of them, even if you are involved. I’ve known them for too long. These are my brothers. At the end of everything, they’re the ones who will be with me the rest of my life. Not you.

“Chan-hyung!”

I’m ripped form my confuddled thoughts when Jeongin says my name. I immediately shake my head—I’m not in the mood.

“For my birthday,” he adds. “Stop being boring and old.”

I frown at that.

Then Lee Know is marching towards me, grabbing me by the arm, and pulling me to the other room. I don’t put up too much of a fight—I’m old and boring, after all.

“For your birthday,” I look pointedly at Jeongin to which he beams back at me. “What do you wanna hear?”

“That new song you were finishing up last week,” he says.

“No, not that,” I shake my head.

For my music production minor, I’ve been spending more time in the studio than usual. There’s no better way to get my feelings and frustrations out than through music. Tortured artist and all that.

“Yes, that. It’s my birthday.”

He’s really milking this birthday thing. He connects his phone to the speaker, and I silently curse myself for having sent him the song. Everything I’ve done lately has come back to slap me in the face.

The melody starts to play, and I let out a sigh, trying to shake my troublesome thoughts and get into performance mode. I turn to face the TV; I can’t look at you while I sing this.

“Got so many questions, you seek information. No need to be desperate, we’re just getting started.”

I started writing this song before we even took our trip, but only just booked the studio time to record it. The lyrics cut deeper now than when I originally wrote them. They reveal the way I’ve felt about you. The way I still feel about you.

This is bad, isn’t it?

Do you hate it?

Are you repulsed after the way I treated you?

As I continue singing, I turn around to face everyone. My eyes find you first. You seem taken aback—it’s understandable.

“Locked in sight, we’re in trouble. A lock and a key making rumbles. I know you want me, don’t crumble.”

I avert my gaze before the next lyrics. Looking at you and singing them will make me crumble. But I mean every single word. I never thought I’d meet someone that feels so perfect for me. Why did it have to be like this?

When the song is over, I pass the mic to Rhiannon and retreat back to the bar. You’re performing now. You’re smiling and happy…all the things I wish I could make you. But I can’t. I’m not allowed to. Not for real anyways.

My eyes are so focused on you that I don’t notice Allie until she’s snapping her fingers in front of my face.

“Earth to Chan—you okay?” she places a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m good,” I say, sitting up straight and drinking from my cup.

She’s standing between my legs. Again, I will myself to feel something…anything. Maybe not unbridled attraction, but at least a desire to fuck her. It doesn’t happen. I raise a hand to her waist to test it out, but it doesn’t feel right. I could kiss her right now, get it over with.

“I have class at 8 so I’m gonna head up. You coming?”

I shrug, dropping my hand from her waist.

“Come on,” she says, sliding her hand down my arm to my wrist.

I let her pull me off the chair and up the stairs with her. I guess I could go to my room with her. I probably should.

So, I do. I follow her up the steps, her hand still holding my wrist. We get to my room, and she shuts the door behind us.

“I’m gonna shower first,” I say, in hopes the steam will clear my mind up.

She releases my wrist and I retreat to my bathroom.

I should fuck her. I really should. Even though I don’t feel physically attracted to her, I can think of you to make my dick hard. Then I can fuck her and get you out of my head. I can end this turmoil.

The shower does little to make me feel better. Nothing can make me feel better.

Except you.

I spend far longer than necessary in there and when I get out, I’ve lost all conviction to sleep with her. As I re-enter my room, I’m hoping and praying that she has fallen asleep.

She hasn’t.

“Get some rest…I’m gonna go make a snack.”

“I can make you something,” she offers, pushing the sheets back.

“No, it’s okay—thank you, though. Go to sleep.”

She nods and pulls the blankets back over her.

Downstairs, I sit down on the couch and turn the TV on. I’m not even hungry. I just didn’t want to be in my room with her. I’ve never felt so hung up on someone before, it leaves me at a loss of what to do. If I fuck her, it would only be to help myself move on from you. I’m just not convinced it would work. And I’d hate myself after for it. But have you already moved on? The thought keeps plaguing me.

I remain in place, rooted to the couch, as the others start to file out of the basement. First Han and Charlotte, then Lee Know, then comes Changbin…and you.

He’s drunk. He has one arm slung over your shoulder, and both of yours are wrapped around his waist to support him. You help him up the stairs without so much as a glance in my direction. What are you going to do up there? I want to go up there after you, but I can’t.

The sounds coming from the TV start to annoy me. I mute it and stare blankly at the moving images. I don’t know how much time passes in silence. My attention is drawn to the stairs at the sound of footsteps coming down.

It’s you.

You immediately look away from me and proceed into the kitchen. I shouldn’t follow you. But I’m up and off the couch before I can stop myself. I’m drawn to wherever you are. I’m a magnet and you’re my true north.

With every step I take towards you the voice in my head—my father’s voice—is telling me to stop and turn around and I hate it. I hate that voice. I hate that it wants to steal the one piece of unadulterated happiness I’ve felt in years. You feel like bliss. You feel like hope.

He threatened to make you leave. I swear to God I nearly fucking broke right then and there. He can yell and berate me all he wants, but to threaten to take you away before our time is up? Out of the question. I put up a front, acted nonchalant about you.

‘She doesn’t mean anything, Appa.’

 Lie.

You mean everything.

When I enter the kitchen, you’re grabbing water bottles from the pantry. I don’t have a plan, but I know I need to be near you, so I walk over to the pantry and wait for you to turn around.

The second your eyes land on me, all traces of feeling confused and lost leave my body. I’m found. My body is filled with the purest warmth, and I have to touch you to get more of it. I have to have you. You avert your eyes to the water bottles in your hand and I feel a pain in my chest.

“Why are you doing this to me?” I ask, placing a hand on your waist and pulling you towards me.

It’s an unfair question. You don’t know this inward battle I’ve been fighting since you showed up here. But I don’t know what else to say. It’s less of a question and more of a plea, really.

“I’m not doing anything,” you say softly. “I’m just…existing.”

“That’s all it takes, honestly,” I reply.  

“Chan,” you whisper, shaking your head, eyes still on the water bottles.

You won’t look up at me. Why won’t you look at me? I need you to look at me.

I take a few steps back from the pantry and bring you with me. This is the most I’ve touched you in a week. I’m not letting you go. I hold your waist with one hand and use the other to grab the water bottles, two by two, from your hand and set them on the counter before returning my attention to you.

“I feel like I’m in shambles when I’m away from you,” I admit, hooking a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at me.

“You’re drunk,” you say, trying to push me away.

I hold on to you tighter, standing my ground.

“I miss you.”

You close your eyes and sigh, shaking your head again. You don’t believe me?

“You can’t.”

“But I do.” I say, bending down to nuzzle my face into your neck.

If you push me away again, I’ll take that as a sign. If you’ve made up your mind, I’ll have to live with it.

I wait for it, but it doesn’t happen.

Instead, you wrap your arms around my neck and pull me closer to you. I take in a deep breath and feel the stars align as the familiar smell of your skin ensnares my senses.

My hand leaves your waist and trails up your back, into your hair. I grab a handful of it and tug back on it. You look up at me with those soft fucking doe eyes that make my insides melt. The complete and utter trust you have in me. I can see it.

I smash my lips against yours, maybe too hard, but I don’t care. I want you. I fucking miss you.

You don’t hesitate to kiss me back, just as passionately. Do you miss me too?

I grab you by the waist and hoist you up on the counter as we kiss. My hands fumble at the waistband of your pajama bottoms. I want you so bad. Why am I nervous? And then, you’re helping me, leaning back and lifting your hips to push them down. I pull them off and toss them on the floor beside us. I scoot you to the edge of the counter and lower myself to my knees.

You tangle your hands in my hair as I rub my nose along your slit, inhaling my favorite scent. You smell so good, baby girl. I use my tongue on you next, needing to have you with all my senses. You throw your head back and let out a quiet whimper as I continue to fill myself with what I’ve been deprived of. What I don’t want to go without.

You.

My hands grip your thighs and as I’m licking, lapping, fucking you with my tongue, the emotions I so desperately willed myself to experience earlier surface. And I know then. I know I’m done for. How can I willingly give this up?

I stand from my knees and pull you off the counter, covering your mouth with mine again.

Do you like the way you taste on me? Your moan says yes.

“My cock throbs every time I see you, y/n,” I tell you, breaking the kiss as I turn you around, groping your breasts over your t-shirt. Your head falls back against my shoulder and litter the side of your neck with kisses. I pull you against me and press my hips against yours. I want you to feel how hard I am. How hard you make me. I could come in my pants right now, without even fucking you.

I’m helpless when it comes to you. Can’t you see that?

“Tell me to stop,” I plead, resting my cheek on yours and thrusting my hips against you again.

You shake your head and lean over on the counter, poking your ass out at me. You’re such a good fucking girl. I slap your ass with the palm of my hand, watching as it jiggles in the dimly lit kitchen. I grab a hand full of it, squeezing tightly.

I push my shorts and boxers down and grab my cock with one hand, holding your hips steady with the other. I rub my cock up and down your slit, groaning at how wet you are. Your pussy is always so wet and ready for me. Do you need me just as much as I need you?

“Every time before I fuck you,” I say, teasing your opening as you moan, “I tell myself I can live without it.”

I ease myself inside of you and we both let out the biggest sigh of relief at the same time.

“But I can’t,” I continue, slowly withdrawing. “I fucking can’t.”

I thrust myself back inside of you with as much force as I can and all hell breaks loose.

I realize the precarious situation we’re in. In the kitchen. But I could not care any less. My cock is home inside of you. This is where I’m supposed to be. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.  

I keep thrusting into you and you fuck me back. You want me just as much as I want you, don’t you? But do you need me like I need you? I can’t ask you that, so I just fuck you harder instead. It’s not healthy to communicate this way, but I can’t bring myself to say these desperate words to you. You take each thrust of my hips without running away and I love it. I fucking love—

No. No. I can’t.

The sound of your hushed moans, combined with the knowledge that we could be caught at any second, have all of my nerves standing at attention. You grip the edges of the counter as I grip your waist, pulling you back against me as hard as I can.

Mine.

Right now, I don’t care if you’ve fucked Seungmin or Changbin or both. They can’t hold a candle to what we have when we’re together like this. That much I’m certain of.

You’re mine, y/n.

You stand on your tiptoes and arch your back. I grit my teeth, and squeeze my eyes shut, trying to shake off my release. I need more. But even with my eyes closed, I can picture how you look in front of me. I have every curve of your body memorized; do you know that? The dimples on your back that I love pressing my thumbs into when I grip your hips. The thought makes me growl as I pummel into you harder and faster.

You’re perfect. I need you to know that. With every thrust, every grunt, every moan. I need you to know.

“Chan,” I hear you say and my eyes snap open.

I see your hand buried between your legs, rubbing your clit and working yourself to an orgasm.

Yes. Please, baby girl. Come on my cock.

I feel your pussy, my pussy, clench around my cock as your legs start to shake and I let myself go too; thrusting into you with reckless abandon as I come.

I’m convinced there’s no better feeling in the world.

I’m glad you stayed.

I’m glad I didn’t see your name on the list before you showed up.

Your legs continue to quiver as I lay myself across your back, leaving my cock inside of you.

I don’t want to move.

I don’t want you to leave me.

[ read chapter 24 here ]

a/n: HOW ARE WE FEELING, MY LOVES? poor baby chan is stuck between a rock and a (constantly) hard place. i am so so so excited to hear your thoughts.

[yourstru1y4ever]

Day 13 - Playful Kiss

Pairing: Satoru Gojo x Reader Word Count: 636 Content: Fluff, Gojo being Gojo, some more of Gojo and reader at Jujutsu High together Tuna-Tober 2024 Masterlist <- check out the other fics posted this month!

A/N: I had a completely different idea for playful kiss, but that was only after I had finished writing this one. It still plays out the same, but it's a different situation. . . I might post it separately from the Tuna-Tober prompts 👀. Be sure to like, reblog and comment if you wanna read more like this!

You always had a set of rules when it came to sparring with Satoru Gojo.

He couldn’t use his infinity.

You had to stay within school grounds.

You couldn’t use your technique against him.

Fairly simple rules and you both stuck to it pretty well. You wanted to improve on your hand to hand combat and Gojo needed to be less reliant on his infinity to keep him safe. You keep reminding him of that but he always shrugs your concern off; he’s the strongest after all, he doesn’t need to improve.

You only needed those three rules. . . until the incident.

Gojo has you pinned down flat on the training grounds, a teasing smile on his face.

“And here I thought you wanted to improve,” He looks down at you, “But now I get to look at you pinned underneath me.” You flush and look away from him. He’s been flirting with you for a few months now but he never once acts on it. Embarrassment washes over you as you think about how easily his words have an affect on you even after all this time.

“One more round?” You mutter, still not looking towards him.

He stands up and reaches a hand down to you, “Only if you can handle losing to this pretty face again,” You smack his hand away and get up on your own.

“Yeah we’ll see about that,” You wipe the dirt off your face as you start to prepare yourself. 

He tilts his head to the side, standing in a casual position, not even bothering to put a single ounce into this fight. You run up towards him and he immediately dodges your attack, ducking down and moving to his left. 

“Come on pretty, I know you’re better than that,” He brings his arm up to block your leg from kicking into his face.

He tries to grab onto your ankle but you run past him before he has the chance. The only thoughts running through your brain are different strategies on how to catch him off guard.

Run up behind him? No, his six eyes tell him everything he needs to know about where you are. 

Maybe a black flash? You definitely don’t have enough cursed energy built up to do that yet.

You could always. . . kiss him. . .  

The thought enters your brain and you still for a moment. You turn around and Satoru is ready to pin you back down to the ground but before he can, your hands grab onto his collar and you kiss him.

His eyes widen before they close and he starts kissing you back, his hands wrapping around you. Before he can hold onto you, you push your arms against his, pull away from him and pin him to the ground.

Your face is a bright shade of crimson as he looks at you with shock.

“See I told you I-I’d win this time, I just-” you catch your breath, “I-I needed to-” 

He pulls you down to him and he kisses you again, more urgently this time. You stiffen, but as you keep kissing your body relaxes into his.

“You didn’t win that by the way,” Satoru says in between kisses. You pull away from him, his hands resting on your hips.

“I did win, thank you.”

“You cheated,” He says matter of factly, trying to lean you back down to his lips but you straighten up.

You bring your hands down on his chest, “I didn’t!”

“You kissed me, it doesn’t count!”

You argue about if you won or not and in the end Gojo decides to be nice and let you have the win. Now there’s a fourth rule between you two during sparring, no kissing each other.

You've both broken that rule more times than you can count.

[merakiui]

Helloooo! I’d like to order a flower bouquet + strawberry ice cream from the misc. menu as well as some lemon squares + custard donuts from the midnight menu for Scaramouche <3

yandere!scaramouche x (gender neutral) reader cw: yandere, nsfw, dub-con, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, friends with benefits, forced pregnancy/baby-trapping (no pronouns; reader has a pussy), modern college au note - thank you for checking in, dearest guest! enjoy your order! [lunar love hotel]

You’re writing a paper.

Sitting at your desk, scrolling through clothes online, you wonder if your meager paycheck will cover the shipping costs. This is all research. Research that is very necessary in the paper-drafting process, of course! You click on an outfit just as Scaramouche looks up from his phone.

Correction. You’re trying to write a paper.

“Great progress. I can really see the thought you put into this.”

“I’m envisioning it as we speak.”

“Yeah? Doesn’t seem to be getting you anywhere.” He sets his phone down and leans closer. “Last I checked you’re not writing about clothes.”

“Last I checked,” you say, mocking him, “I didn’t ask for commentary. Don’t you have anything better to do?” 

A smug smile sharpens on his face. “I can think of a few things.”

Groaning, you shove him away. “No way. Not today.”

“Why not? It didn’t seem to bother you that last time when we did it before your lecture. You were so out of it you didn’t want me to leave you alone. Isn’t that right, sweetheart?”

“Not my fault I was tired! Don’t tell me you’ve never said and done stupid things when you’re running on three hours of sleep.”

“Not once,” he declares, looking quite proud. As if it’s some grand achievement. Does he want an award? “And even if I was, I wouldn’t be reduced to sugary, sappy putty.”

“I called you ‘sweetheart’ once by mistake. Get over it.”

Scaramouche rests his elbow on the desk, his cheek in his hand. “I don’t think I want to.”

Shutting your laptop, you turn in your chair to face him. “And I don’t think I want to fuck you today.”

“You don’t have to.”

“Oh, you’re gonna do all the work?”

“That’s the plan. Be grateful I’m so good to you,” he teases, leaning closer and closer until—

You block your lips before he can capture them. “I really can’t today. Paper aside, I don’t have any protection and I’m not on birth control right now.”

“It doesn’t have to be inside.” He sits back in his chair, exuding casual confidence. “Unless you want to risk it.”

You try to put enough ice in your glare, but it melts quickly. You really shouldn’t. It’s not a safe day. You really, really shouldn’t…

Scaramouche raises a brow, waiting for your reply.

Despite everything, you’re wheedled into it anyway. You’re not even sure what you want. Is it yes or no? It’s been months since you fell into this arrangement with him—the campus’s infamous lone wolf who goes out of his way to make himself unapproachable. Or, according to your friends, he’s more of a lonely stray cat in need of a friend. Scaramouche had scoffed when you told him that.

Your friends are idiots, he said with a scowl. It only made him look even more like a grumpy cat in need of companionship. Not that you’d ever tell him that. It would only serve to stoke the flames of his ire.

But right now, looking up at him while he ruts into you, sweat sticking in all the right places, his hair falling over his eyes, you’re inclined to agree with that observation. There’s a depth to his gaze that draws you in, a sad glimmer hiding behind the ardor. There’s never been any attachment outside of the bedroom. You’re not even sure if he considers you a friend.

Still, you wonder…

“Scara, do you—” You cut yourself off with a startled gasp, your nails curling into his shoulders. He’s holding you down by your hips, fucking into you like the world’s about to end. “S-Slow down. Wait, I—aah—oh!”

He sucks in a staggered breath through grit teeth, his jaw set firmly. “You’re never going to leave me.”

Your brain stalls out, and suddenly you’re not sure how to respond. He doesn’t lessen the brutal pace at which he thrusts, so you’re forced to piece together a half-coherent answer amidst your groans.

“N-Not anytime soon—mmh… Why? What’s up?”

Scaramouche lifts his head from your neck. A strange smile turns the corners of his lips up. “It’s not a question. I wasn’t giving you a choice.”

You blink back at him, lust-drunk and dazed. The horror edges in, slow and steady like invasive rot. It isn’t until he’s pinning your legs up by your ears to force you into another position that the implication finally catches up to you. You claw at his back with weak strokes, babbling futile protests against his mouth. In response, his cock throbs inside of you, pressed so deep in this position you fear the repercussions. He kisses you with much the same force, insistent on driving you into the mattress—on pinning you here until you finally submit. Until the last of your resolve withers away, stamped out and replaced with something agreeable.

“Even if you wanted to,” he says around a shaky laugh, seeming positively deranged, “you couldn’t.”

You think you should be worried, but you’re so stunned with this development that your brain can’t keep up. Embarrassingly, you cum with a strangled sort of cry, your pussy clenching tight. He hisses through his teeth, fucks you through the high of your orgasm, and then falls with you, his own climax fast like a flash.

You’re panting in the aftermath. What just happened?

Scaramouche keeps you plugged with his cock for as long as he possibly can before he’s sliding out, flaccid and spent. For now, you suspect, for there will certainly be more later if your wits aren’t about you by then.

“Pill,” you mumble, voice hoarse from crying. You shake him, hoping he’ll climb off of you and get to it. “Scaraaa…”

Oddly, for someone who never shows any vulnerability, he clings. “We’ve got time. I’ll get it. Don’t worry.”

You don’t believe him. Not when his hand strays to your stomach. His palm brushes over the area once. He sighs, wholly satisfied.

“We’ve got time…”

Nine months of it, in fact. But that goes unspoken. If not today, there’s always tomorrow. You know he won’t rest until then. Neither will you. Your heart is too big, too soft, for that lonely stray cat, and part of you wonders if he knows that.

[tatoda]

Mine || conrad fisher x fem!reader

!!MINORS DNI!!

masterlist

request

summary: attending the same college as your best friend has its highs and lows, but conrad sees you flirting with another dude he finally does something about his feelings

pairing: conrad fisher x fem!reader

warning: slight angst, male receive, jealous conrad CHARACTERS ARE 18

wc: 1.1k

im a little rusty on my smut writing I apologize I'm trying to get back into it still. edited but I may have missed stuff

You and conrad grew up together as the oldest siblings, you to your brother and sister, steven and belly, and conrad to his brother jeremiah. Your birthdays was just a day apart from conrad’s. To say that your mothers were so excited to have babies around the same time was an understatement. They were best friends and it was their dream to have kids at the same time. Also as mothers, they knew you were both meant for each other. To be the first two little kids to run around the beach house, to attending your dream college together.

At the end of the summer before college started in the fall is when conrad broke your heart. It was the 4th of july and Jeremiah dragged everyone out of the house to go to nicole’s party. You hung out with Belly most of the night not trusting the drunk guys around her. With your mind occupied with her most of the night, you never got to talk to conrad. You wanted to watch the fireworks with him and not come to this lame party, you wanted to kiss him and tell him how you felt about him after all these years. Belly took off with nicole letting you have your fun. Who knew that fun could be ruined in 2.5 seconds? You walked into the living room looking for the brown-haired boy only spotting him with a girl on his lap and her eating his face out with him doing the same thing.

You ended up leaving the party and cousins that night. Telling your mom that you needed to finish a ton of college stuff before moving in at the end of the month. She didn’t push to ask you what happened and let you leave knowing you would call if it was anything serious. When everyone arrived back home that night conrad looked for you. He wanted to talk to you about your midnight plans to go watch the fireworks, but everywhere he looked you were gone. He looked in your bedroom seeing the nicely made bed and your bags gone. He sat on the edge of the mattress looking around softly.

“she left.” laurel walked into the room slowly

“where did she go? everything was fine before the party.” he stood up walking around your room and to the picture of you and him as babies. laurel walked behind him placing her hands on each side of his arms

“two peas in a pod, you two are inseparable.” laurel paused “she went home to finish college stuff.”

“and she didn’t ask me to go with her?” he brought a hand to rub over his face and sighed in defeat.

You didn’t talk to conrad the rest of the summer. He texted you, but you decided you better not get your heart broken again.

It was a few weeks into the school year. Your roommate dragged you out to another party that you didn’t want to attend, only because conrad would be there and almost every time he didn’t see you but you saw him. And you saw the girls he would leave with. And it just broke your heart more. So here you were trying to distract yourself with Josh— a boy from your math class— as he talked to you about his frat. You acted as if you cared only trying to hook up with him in the end.

“yeah my dad wanted me to follow him in his footsteps so he decided to pay for my school year.” he bragged taking a sip of his drink

“wow.” you acted interested

“if you want, one day i can take you for a ride on my boat back home?” he leaned towards you as if it was a secret

“i’d love that, yeah.” you put a hand on his arm rubbing it a little before a shadow crept over the both of you, it was conrad.

“sorry to bother, i need to talk to her,” he grumbled in josh’s face

“can it wait? i’m talking to her?” he tried to protest and you didn’t look at conrad, it would only make you fall and say you’re sorry for everything

“no it can’t.” he grabbed your hand off the dudes arm and walked you to an empty room before shutting the door “what the hell are you thinking!” he moved around you and away from the door

“i don’t know.” you shrugged slowly lifting your gaze to him, he was wearing a white shirt, plaid pullover, and jeans, you had never seen the boys other than in the summer and it was nice to see conrad dressed in jeans

“he was practically fucking you with his eyes!” he stood in front of you now

“grow up conrad, we’re in college now.” you scoffed. putting your drink down on a nearby dresser

“yeah, and it’s my job you don’t get an std from a frat boy like him.”

“oh and you’re any different?” it slipped out of your mouth

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he was taken back by your comment

“i’ve seen the girls you take back to your dorm. how do you know they aren’t carrying anything harmful when you stick your dick inside of them!”

“y/n what the fuck are you talking about?” his eyebrows furrowed

“the girls.”

“what girls! not one has stepped into my dorm other than our damn family when we moved in!”

“b-but you take girls home.” you tried to make yourself believe it

“i walk them back to their dorm. they are a drunk mess and my mom raised me that way, you should know.” his voice softly said

“i-“

“i’ve only had my eyes set on you since we were kids.” he blurted

“w-what?”

“yeah but i wanted to give you space to figure out your college life, but not get dicked down by a frat boy at one party.” he smiled to himself

“i’m sorry, okay? i’m sorry i didn’t see it earlier.”

“i tried for years, for you to see how i feel.”

“i felt the same way, i was going to tell you at cousin’s, but then i saw you with this girl at nicole’s party and she was all over you so i just left.”

“the party? is that why you left cousins early?” you nodded looking back down at the floor

“i was heartbroken con. you were making out with her what was i supposed to feel?”

“i don’t know you should have talked to me.”

“i talked to jere and he said that it wasn’t worth it, so i just left to get a head start to move in.”

“that’s why you were so distant when college started? we were so excited to be going to the same place, my mom was excited!”

“i felt heartbroken and i didn’t know what to do you’re the only boy i’ve ever loved, i didn’t know how to work around it!”

“i kissed the girl at nicole’s party because jeremiah told me you went on a date,” he whispered

“i-i hung out with a dude at the arcade for 10 minutes trying to help in figuring out a game. jeremiah was there!” you tan your fingers through your hair

“well, how was i supposed to know!”

“it seems like jere is just against us.” conrad laughed softly

“he’s always had something for you, you know.” you nodded knowing how the other fisher boy liked you, but you only had eyes for conrad

“he doesn’t matter. i’ve only seen him as a friend.” conrad let out a soft breath

“come here.” he gestured at you and you walked towards him as he opened his arms for you. the comfort of his arms secured you leaned against his chest hearing the raging of his heartbeat

“your heart is going crazy.” you twisted your head to look up at him with your chin on his chest and conrad looking down at you

“because of you.” he brought a hand to the side of your face and leaned in to kiss you, for the first time. conrad fisher was kissing you, it felt like a dream

He held your face so softy. He didn’t wanna break you, not again. His arms tightened around you pulling him closer to you. The kiss became deeper and stronger than you have ever had before with anyone. That’s when you felt the effect you had on him, he was hard, from you. You didn’t know you could do that to anyone ever but it felt amazing and an accomplishment.

“sorry.” he smiled against your lips as you both slowly separated lips turning red

“don’t be.” bringing one of your hands to his hair moving a few pieces away from his eyes the other hand you had slowly descended towards his pants

“y/n” a warning tone came out of his mouth

“hm?” you looked at him innocence in your eyes as if your hand wasn’t messing with the button of his jeans before moving to the zipper

“no one’s ever-“ his breath hitched as your hand cupped his erection “no one ever touched me down there.” you looked at him confused

“you’ve had sex though?” he nodded

“that doesn’t mean foreplay was involved, they just skip to the sex.” you kissed his lips

“don’t worry, just sit down and relax.” you pushed him to sit on the bed

Dragging down his jeans he lifted your hips to help get the fabrics down to his calf’s. He looked scared and nervous. You were touching him, the girl he’s been in love with forever, finally seeing the effect she has on him. You slowly swiped to get some pre cum off of the head and conrad shuttered under your touch.

“like that?”

“fuck, you have no idea.”

You coated the sides of his dick before slowly moving up and down at the right movement. He looked down at you breathing hard and deadly to your touch. A loud clatter came from outside the room and his eyes turned to worry.

“y/n, i don’t think this is such a good place to do thi-“ you cut him off licking the side of his shaft shutting him up immediately and the sounds from outside passed “fuck” he brought a hand to your head holding it as you bobbed up and down on him “keep going.” you didn’t plan on stopping, you hollowed your cheeks taking him in deeper and his groans filled the room

The way you moved made him jealous of the guys who have seen this image before. You on your knees sucking him off like no tomorrow. But the thought disappeared as soon as it came because he realized that this will be his view for the rest of his life. You looked up at him making eye contact and he felt the warm build but he didn’t wanna release just yet.

“just a few more, yeah.” he started to take control by moving your head with his hips as they came up off of the bed making you gag “just-“ he moved faster feeling the edge start. he pumped all the way into your mouth and let his release into your mouth as he groaned into the air

“fuck.” you pulled off of him and swallows the salty taste “did you just-“ he couldn’t believe you were real

“is that bad?”

“no, no, god no.” he moved your hair from your face. “all i know is no man is ever touching you again, you’re mine.”

[finnsbubblegum]

Where It All Starts (Joel Miller X Reader)

Pairing: no-outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, sweet joel, domestic joel, rom-com

Summary: reader as Joel’s neighbor. Joel’s wife left him so Joel asked his neighbor for help in babysitting Sarah. 

Words count: 1.1k

A/N: I’m trying to make this as a rom-com, hope you like my new series! I have a lot of ideas to write about Joel Miller fanfiction and I haven’t finished writing them all. I only have a few days before I start working but I want to write as much as I can. I’m pretty nervous since it’s my first full-time job. Wish me luck! 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20

“Please just let me go! I can’t do this anymore!” You heard a woman’s yell from outside your house while washing the dishes.

“Baby, please.. Just do this for Sarah. Please.” A man begged.

*baby cried*

“I’m sorry, Joel.” 

Curiosity ate you. You peeked through your window and saw your neighbor were having a fight. Assuming they were husband and wife with a newborn baby. The man was carrying the baby while the woman was trying to get inside the car.

“Get in that car and there’s no coming back!” The man raised his voice. 

You felt guilty for eavesdropping because that should be a private conversation but they fought in front of their house and you’re pretty sure everyone in the neighborhood heard them.

The next morning when you were preparing breakfast, you heard a knock. 

“Can I help you?” It was the man from last night.

“Ugh yes, I’m sorry to bother you early in the mornin’. I was wonderin’ if you could help me with somethin’.” He put his hand behind his neck.

“Yeah, sure? What can I help you with?” You opened your door wider and invited him in.

“I live next door…I just had a baby and somethin’ happened with her mom..and I have to go to work so no one is watchin’ my daughter. Uh..You look young, I’m assuming you’re still in college, maybe you could help me babysit my daughter? I’ll pay you of course.”

“Oh! Uhm..Well..I’m not in college actually. I’ve graduated.” You chuckled.

“But I’ll take that as a compliment, sir.” 

“Sorry.” Joel chuckled.

“Uhm..how old is your daughter?” 

“She’s just 3 months old.” 

“Oh!” Your eyes widened. You had never had a baby but you had always wanted one. But how could you possibly be able to babysit a newborn without experience? 

“Sure, I’d like to help.” You were blinded by the man’s puppy eyes.

“Really can you do that? How about your work? Because I don’t want to burden you.” 

“That’s not a problem, sir. I’m taking over my parents’ cafe nearby so I can take your daughter with me. If that’s okay.” 

“You’re the best. Thank you. I’m Joel by the way. Joel Miller” He extended his hand to shake yours.

“I’m (y/n) (y/l/n).” You shook his hand.

Joel invited you to his house and introduced his daughter to you. 

“This is Sarah.”

“Hi Sarah. You’re so cute.” You booped her on the nose.

“Do you know how to hold a baby?” Joel asked you. 

“I’ve held my nephew before but-” 

“Here. Support her head like this.” Joel instructed you.

“Like this?” 

“Yeah, just like that. Don’t worry, you’re doing good.” He placed his hand on your shoulder.

His touch made your heart beat faster. You know you shouldn’t be thinking about this since he just got into a fight with his wife last night. But you couldn’t help it. He could be a single dad any time in the future or probably now. And you admitted your neighbor was a hot young dad. 

“So this is the bag. It has everything in it. Diapers, baby formula, and other things. She eats every 2-3 hours. Here’s the house key.” 

“Got it.” You nodded. 

“Okay, I’m runnin’ late. Here’s my number. Just call me if you need anythin’.” He shoved you a paper written with his phone number.

“You goin’ to work now?” 

“Ugh-yes.” 

“Want me to drive you?” Joel offered to drive you since your hands were full.

“It’s okay. I’ll drive myself.” You refused his offer.

“Okay, well. At least let me help you get settled in your car then?” He carried the big baby bag to your car and helped you settle the baby car seat in your car. 

You put Sarah in the car seat and brought her to work. 

“When did you have a baby again?” You co-workers couldn’t stop staring at the baby you brought to work.

“It’s not mine. It’s my neighbor’s. He’s-” You sighed.

“He? Single dad?” Flo’s eyes widened. She was still in college and working part-time at your cafe. She had a thing for single dads that was why she was interested in your situation.

“I’m not sure. But I heard him fighting with his wife last night. It sounded bad.” You shrugged.

“This could be it. This could be it.” She shook your body excitedly.

“Could be what?” You stopped her.

“You know. I know you’re lonely. And you definitely need a man. Why don’t you try it with him? Is he hot?” She raised her eyebrows up and down.

“I don’t know, Flo. I mean I’m still not ready and I’m sure he isn’t too.”

“Is.he.hot?” Flo repeated.

“Well, kinda?” You shrugged.

“Want my advice boss? I’d say you should flirt with him.” She crossed her arms to her chest.

You rolled your eyes.

“Want my advice? Get back to work or I will cut your pay.” You squinted your eyes.

“Yes, boss.” 

Flo was right. Maybe this was your chance to start dating again. Since the last time you had your heart broken, you were too focused on helping your family’s business. But once you wanted to try dating again, you got a soon-to-be single hot dad? You always had a thing for dads. Just like Flo. Did you win the lottery? Probably. Let’s see.

Sarah wasn’t hard to babysit. You worked while babysitting her and your co-workers helped you so it wasn’t really hard work. You went home by dinner time and left your cafe to your employees to close the store. You put sleeping Sarah to her crib then went back to your car to get the bag. While you were closing the car door, Joel’s car parked on the driveway. You stopped and waited for him.

“Hi.” You put the bag strap to your shoulder.

“Hi. How was she? I hope she’s not taking your energy too much.” He walked closer to you and took the bag from you.

“She’s well-behaved actually.” You smiled and passed him the baby bag.

“Thank God.” Joel sighed.

“I put her to sleep.” You told Joel proudly.

“Thank you. I owe you a lot. I really appreciate it.” He placed his hand on your shoulder again.

“Did you eat dinner Mr. Miller?” You tried to flirt just as Flo told you.

“Not yet. Just call me Joel, please.” 

“Joel.” You hummed.

“Pizza?” Joel suggested.

“Sure.” 

Joel called for a pizza delivery and the two of you spent dinner together. You talked about college and work but not relationships. You were avoiding that topic and so did Joel.

“Thanks for dinner.” You thanked Joel as he walked you home which was just next to his house.

“Anytime.” He put his hands in his pocket.

“So I’ll see you tomorrow when I get Sarah?” 

“Yeah, sure. See you tomorrow. Have a good night.” He kissed your cheek awkwardly.

“Good night, Joel.”

To be continued...

[sodaabaa]

reunited a court of thorns and roses

rhysand x reader after reader is taken by tamlin, she yearns for the day she can be reunited with her mate.

tw: none

Five months. That’s how long I’d been trapped with Tamlin and his court of thorns. Once upon a time I was happy here, happy with him. Now, it took everything I had to control myself from scratching his eyes out every time he looked at me. Every word he said, every condescending explanation he gave me as to why he thought, why he believed that Rhys had manipulated my mind, drove me insane. Leaving this godforsaken place with Rhys all those months ago was the best decision I’d ever made. Now I was stuck here all over again. Caged in a rose covered prison, suffocated by piles of tulle and chiffon and silk.  

I hadn’t shown Tamlin, or anyone, any of the powers I had. I didn’t tell him what I was. Rhys and Amren had figured out that I was an angel. Centuries before the fae emerged, angels ruled the heavens and the Earth. Once the fae were created after years of evolution, the angels died out. But while the physical form of these beings may cease to exist, their souls don’t. Their souls are still here, roaming through the heavens. I guess the angels knew war was imminent in my lifetime so they breathed an angel’s soul into me when I was born and I’d gone all those years unknowing of what I was, what I was capable of. Until I had found out what Amarantha had done to Rhys. 

As if one cue, a piece of paper appeared on my nightstand with a coal black pen. 

“You’re thinking about me aren’t you” I could hear his arrogant smirk in those words.

I smiled, that bastard always knew, even if we were thousands of miles apart. I picked up the pen to write back but as I was doing so, the door opened and I quickly hid it under my pillow. My smile fell.

“I brought you some paints.” Tamlin paused, unsure of what to say next.

I merely looked out the window and said, “I have no inspiration.”

He frowned, “you’re in the Court of Spring, what more inspiration do you need?” 

The swirling night sky. The shimmering golden lights of the City of Starlight. His black, satin wings that carried the midnight sky with him. 

Oh, how sweet, your description of my city and my wings flatters me darling. 

I had to dig my nails into my palms to keep from smiling like a fool. 

Tamlin must have taken great offense to my comment, he left without giving me a chance to respond. Good. 

I anxiously pulled out the pen and paper. 

“He could have seen the note, be careful next time you prick.” 

I set the items on the desk and within seconds it vanished, and reappeared just as fast.

“I miss bickering with you. I miss you.” Such simple words yet my heart ached with longing.

I wrote back, “I miss you too. Just a few more days, I need to convince him to side with us.”

The paper vanished and never returned. 

I shifted in the bed I’d been in for hours, refusing to socialize with anyone at the manor. Everyone was blindly loyal to Tamlin and I knew if I left the manor grounds, they’d instantly report to him so I had no reason to even bother faking a smile towards those vipers. I looked out to the night sky, it wasn’t nearly as beautiful as the velvety blue skies of the Night Court but it was still a reminder of who ruled those skies and it comforted me regardless. With that thought, I fell into a deep sleep.

The voices of Tamlin and Lucien could be heard from a mile away. They were arguing over my freedom. I paused on the stairs, my blush pink dress swaying with the movement.

“How long are you going to keep her locked up hm? You can’t keep her here forever.” Lucien spat.

“Until Rhysand isn’t a problem anymore. Until I know he won’t come to take her again.” 

I rolled my eyes. Imagine being deluded enough to think you could beat Rhys, the most powerful High Lord in history. I scoffed. Their heads turned in my direction. I covered it by clearing my throat and smiling, resuming my path down the stairs.

“Good morning my love.” I held back a gag. 

Tamlin smiled, the fool really thought I was in love with him. “Good morning, we were just finishing up our conversation.” He shot a pointed look at Lucien. 

I smiled, lips in a thin line. He wanted to keep me locked up like a prisoner, still. 

I took a seat between Tamlin and Lucien. “Can we speak in private please Tamlin.” 

He gave me an exhausted look, he knew what I was going to ask. Despite that, he sent Lucien away with a wave of his hand. 

“I know what you want to say and you already know my answer.” He said.

I stood up and slammed my hands on the table, rattling the silverware.

“It’s been three months since I saw something outside these walls. Send an escort of guards with me if you want but let me go somewhere, anywhere.” I shouted.

He looked at me through his brows. “You know better than me, I could send an army of guards with you and Rhysand would slice through the brigade like butter to take you away. I won’t risk it.”

He was standing now, trying to intimidate me into compliance. 

“And I won’t be kept here like a prisoner! In what world is this love?”

“I’m protecting you!” He growled

“You’re suffocating me!” I yelled.

“Enough. There will be no further conversation about this matter.” 

I stilled. And then I felt it. I could sense him before he’d even arrived. I looked past Tamlin and to the doorway. 

Rhys. 

He was standing tall, his hands in his pockets, ever the nonchalant High Lord. His violet eyes looked over me head to toe, scanning for any signs of injuries. 

Tamlin must have noticed I was looking past him and turned. He moved to shield me, beginning to shift into a beast. I didn’t pay any attention to it. Every bone, every nerve, every cell in my body was shouting for me to run to him. So I did.

Tamlin shouted after me and guards ran in but they froze as soon as they ran into the room. It felt as if I’d been running for miles before I crashed into his chest, he stumbled back but his arms wrapped around me and lifted me up. My entire being relaxed into the embrace as I held him tight. 

“Miss me?” He breathed into my ear. 

Tears welled in my eyes as I nodded into his neck. He let me down just as Tamlin was approaching, rage burning in his eyes.

I stood in front of Rhys as Tamlin began charging. I crossed my arms and Tamlin met with a wall of light. He bounced back but got up instantly. Like twin flames, Rhys and I let out our wings, his midnight black wings contrasting with my soft white.

Tamlin froze, he hadn’t known about my abilities.

“What are you doing? He’s manipulating you, turning you against me.”

I scoffed. “You turned me against you.” 

“I love you.” He said in a not so loving tone. 

“Rhys loves me. And I him.” 

Unexpectedly, he shoved me away and lunged for Rhys who easily dodged his advances.

“You’ve gone soft Tamlin.” Rhys taunted. 

Tamlin lunged again, this time he managed to grab Rhys, who was unimpressed. 

“I’m going to skin you alive.” He said through his teeth.

Rhys merely rolled his eyes and looked at me as if to say, ‘look at this guy.’ 

Rhys grabbed Tamlins arms and twisted them, kneeing him in the gut and throwing him onto the floor all in one swift motion.

“You’re gonna have to try a lot harder to even land a punch, dear Tamlin.”

This time, Tamlin didn’t get back up. Rhys was holding him down with his mind. 

“We’ll spare your life on one condition.” I spoke to him. 

His nose flared, he’d rather die than submit to Rhys.

“You ally yourself and your army with us for the war. Hybern will slaughter your people and take your court as soon as the war is over and you know it. Don’t lead hundreds of innocent lives towards their death because of a grudge you hold towards Rhys.” I continued.

“I’d sooner die than work with him. And you. After all I did for you, traitor.” He spat.

I could feel the anger roll off Rhys. He stepped in front of me but I grabbed his arm.

“After all you did? After Amarantha, I was wasting away. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t breathe. And all you did was lock me up like a caged animal. You couldn’t even look at me longer than a second.” My voice rose.

“Do you know what the first thing Rhys did to me when he took me away on our wedding day?” I didn’t give him the time to respond.

“He looked at me, listened to me, he made me feel alive again. It’s ironic isn’t it? Living in the Spring Court where all bloom to life. Except me. I withered away like a dead rose. But I blossomed with Rhys at the Night Court, the realm of death so many call it, but it breathed life into me again.” 

Tamlin stared, blank. “Go to hell.” 

With that, I left the Manor and let Rhys have his fun. 

We landed in Velaris, my beloved City of Starlight. I was ecstatic and Rhys felt it as we walked up the steps to the town house. Home. The word kept repeating in my head, I still couldn’t believe it. 

When we walked in, we were greeted by Cassian, Mor, Azriel, and Amren. They kneeled as we stood in the doorway. 

My hand slipped from Rhys’ and I ran towards them, dropping to my knees. 

“Please don’t kneel. I just want a hug from each of you.” Tears fell from my eyes. I missed these four with my whole heart. Last I’d seen them, Cassian’s wings had been shattered, Azriel and Mor were bloody and bruised. I was worried sick. 

They all hugged me at once, I was squished in between the four of them. I let out a laugh as we withdrew from the group hug and Rhys chuckled behind me. 

“You bastards never react that way when I come home.” He walked towards us. 

Amren sent daggers at him with her eyes.

“Maybe we don’t like you as much Rhys.” Cassian said. 

“Then maybe you can find a place at the Court of Nightmares instead of Velaris, Cas. They’d be happy to take in an invalid such as yourself.” He threw. 

Cassian shook his head laughing. “You’d miss me too much.” 

The five of them began to bicker, their voices booming throughout the house. My eyes fleeted between them, trying to keep track of who was saying what. 

I smiled, It felt like I never left. 

[mayearies]

POCO LOCO FOR HOCO .. miles morales ⟡

󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠󠀠 “there she is! ganke! my dream girl.”

✦ synopsis miles had been crushing on you since freshman year. of course he couldnt confront you about it, even if he believed he was naturally smooth with the ladies. but today was the day.

✦ genre hugs n cuddles

✦ disclaimer none!

✦ note! the title isnt corny shut up

“man, come on.” ganke sighed. miles wanted to ask you out to the homecoming dance since he really adored you. having a crush that didnt wind down for over a year was taking a toll.

miles paced against the marble floor of the hall as people passed by. he was a nervous mess, and ganke wasn’t helping much. “i knoww.. i know!” he crossed his arms, “come on, miles. it’s just homecoming.”

miles gave him a bothered stare and put his hands on his hips, “it isn’t ‘just homecoming,’ ganke! we’re talking about asking the girl i’ve liked for a year, two months, five days, and 2 hours to go to homecoming with me here! lighten up, would ya?”

“you’ve been pacing in the same hallway for the last 15 minutes. i’m getting dimmer and dimmer.” ganke slammed his hands on miles’ shoulders and gave him an inspired look. “you got this. you bought her flowers, tickets, the sign…”

it was a corny spiderman pun he got off the internet a few days before. i mean, it was an attempt. “… could have been better, but we were running short on time. so to sum it up—go get your girl.”

“…thanks man, that was really enli-”

“before someone else does. now go!” he shoved him into you, making you jump in surprise. he was really nervous and sweaty. he wouldn’t know what to do if you said no.

“oh! miles, right?” he was surprised you knew his name, he isnt that well known around visions. he was at one point, on like the first day of school of freshman year. “yep! t-that’s me.”

“i almost never see you around, though. and i know most people in here.” well, crap.

“i just… do a lot of online school! yeah, yeah, i get sick a lot,” he fake coughed while turning his head away, “weak immune systems, y’know?”

ganke facepalmed in the background and gestured miles to get it done and over with before their break ends. he swallowed shakily, “so, i wanted to ask you something.” you rose your eyebrow.

shuffled and pulled out the poster that he made last night, which had a pun writing of “just like spiderman saves the day, will you save a dance for me at hoco?" it looked like he spent a lot of time on it too. “so… will you..?”

“i…” you didnt plan on going to homecoming with anyone, actually. but it was too cute of a proposal “i’d love to.”

his face lit up of sunshine. ganke gave him a thumbs up from just over your shoulder. he hasn’t been this happy in a while. “seriously? like you mean it?” you nodded, “what made you ask me, though?”

“it was a choice.” you giggled a little. “same thing for your shoelaces?”

“you already know me so well, jeez!”

@ mayearies , no swiping!

[the-daydream-queen]

Peter Hale: Sore Comfort

*Female reader has cramps and Peter offers some comfort.

*Please no taking my writing as your own, happy reading!

- “Yay, you’re back!” You exclaim from your bed.

- His cold heart kept getting warmer when you’d say things like that.

- “The pack say hello and are very sad that they missed you,” he says.

- He joins you under the covers. You waste no time snuggling him, then get hit with a cramp and change positions trying to find a comfortable way to lay on him.

- “What’s wrong,” he asks after you release a groan.

- “Cramps being a bitch, I’m okay,” you offer.

- He placed a gentle hand below your belly button, trying to take the pain.

- You nuzzle closer into his neck, your nose tickling him.

- “Is that better?” He asks.

- “Yes, thank you,” you mumble against his skin. You roll on top of him a hand finding home in his hair.

- His arms tighten around your waist.

- “Am I smooshing you?” You ask lifting your head slightly.

- “Not at all, princess.”

- His eyes find yours, the warmth in them practically burning you, the tenderness making you melt.

- “What?” You ask.

- “I’m just staring at my pretty woman, enjoying the view,” he replies.

- You smile and look down.

- His hand strays from your waist to caress your face, gently guiding you to look at him. “I wasn’t done staring.”

- “Can I kiss you?” You ask softly.

- “You know you don’t have to ask,” he assures.

- You kiss him slightly shy even tho you’ve been dating for a few months, but when he deepens the kiss you don’t reject it.

- You peck him once more when you break apart.

- Your chin rests on his chest. “You wanna make some brownies?”

- He laughs. “Right now? It’s almost midnight.”

- “I know.” You press a kiss to his chest. “But I kinda want some.”

- “My princess gets what she wants,” he encourages.

- You get up and drag him off the bed to the kitchen.

- Not letting go of his hand you gather what you need and preheat the oven.

- “You’re touchy, tonight, you okay?” He asks.

- You drop his hand. “I’m sorry.”

- He captures your hand pulling you close against his body. “I’m not complaining about you being touchy.”

- You lean your head on his chest. “If I don’t feel good, I get like this; and you take really good care of me, it’s easier to let my guards down.”

- “I’ll always take care of you.” He presses a kiss to your forehead.

- The oven signaling that’s it preheated breaks the silence.

- He inserts the pan in the oven, setting a timer on his phone.

- You pull him to the living room sitting down, he sits next to you. It’s not close enough for you, you climb into his lap, basically straddling him and wrap your arms around his neck resting your head on his chest.

- He strokes the hair away from your face enjoying the soft and tender moment. He never thought he’d get a chance of something so domestic.

- Your heart beat began to calm and soon you were sleeping. He smiled to himself. The trust you had in him.

- You jolted awake at his phone going off.

- “Shit, I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

- “It’s okay,” you mumble combing your fingers through his hair. “Does that mean the brownies are done?”

- He glanced at his phone seeing Derek’s name on the caller I’d. “No, it’s Derek.”

- He answers the phone and listens then sighs.

- “What’s wrong?” You ask when he hangs up the phone.

- “On the bright side your brownies should be done. The downside is I have to go help catch a werewolf Derek accidentally let loose,” he explains.

- He doesn’t bother letting you move as he picks you and takes you to the kitchen placing you on the counter.

- “Save a few for me,” he says gesturing to the hot pan he placed on the oven turning it off.

- “I will,” you reply.

- He steps in front of you, your legs hook around him.

- “Can I come?”

- “Absolutely not,” he says. “I won’t let you get hurt for me and I’d be worried.”

- “I’ll be worried,” you counter.

- “I died once and look how that turned out.” He kisses you before you can argue.

- You release your hold on him.

- “I’ll be back,” he assures giving you another kiss.

- You watch him leave. You cut yourself a brownie and head back to bed.

- You don’t sleep too soundly.

- You feel the bed dip and Peter wraps an arm around your waist, shoving his nose into your neck.

- “Did you get ‘em?”

- You feel him nod.

[libraryofbronze]

Dommed Through Discord

“Master,” I type carefully, still blinking sleep out of my eyes. I woke up only a few minutes ago and I still feel groggy. The blankets wrapped around me from how I turned and tossed in my sleep. Around me, my room is nice and warm. Familiar and safe and happy. My laptop is propped up on the other side of the bed, just close enough to see and use.

It’s probably a bad habit to go straight from sleep to staring at the screen. In fact, I know for sure it is. A few months ago, I’d probably have never imagined that I would be doing this.

Then again, a few months ago I hadn’t met him yet. A little shiver runs down my spine and I close my eyes. I can’t exactly remember the dreams I was having but I know they got me all hot and bothered. Waking up to a wet pussy isn’t something I used to do either, but I have gotten used to it in the last few weeks.

After all, I’m not allowed to touch myself without permission.

The thought brings blood rushing to my face. Even now, I can’t believe that I agreed to it. I’ve done a bunch of things in the last few weeks that I never thought I would. All for the sake of a man whose face I’ve never seen.

Even as I think that, I know I’m lying. It’s not just for his sake, but mine as well. I love this. I love what he has made me into. My body tingles every time I think of him, and the first thing I do every morning is check to see if he’s online.

We talk through Discord, emails, and sometimes Steam as well. It’s a long-distance relationship and our hours don’t always match but that only makes the time we do have together all the more precious.

I am still blinking sleep from my eyes. My long, dark hair is all in a mess. I toss and turn a lot in my sleep, and I know I am going to have an annoying time fixing it later.

But for now, that doesn’t matter. I stare at the screen, waiting for his reply eagerly. I can see that he’s online, but sometimes he likes to make me wait. A subtle reminder of the power difference between us. He’s in charge, the master, the owner. And I am the pet and the toy, the desperate girl not even allowed to touch herself without permission.

God, I want to touch myself right now. My pussy is throbbing, lingering half memories of my dreams glitter in my mind like shards of silver. Slowly, one of my hands moves under the blanket, pressing against the outside of my panties. I take a deep breath, shuddering at the touch. Fuck!

I should stop. I know I’m not allowed. If master finds out, I’ll be punished again. But it’s hard, and gradually, the silence grows. I start to wonder if he’s not at his computer. But then why is his status set to green?

Then, suddenly, he replies.

“Hey, May.”

May. That’s my name. That’s why I introduced myself to him by the first time we met. But it’s not usually what he calls me. Is he teasing me? Playing with me? I don’t know and for a moment I’m thrown.

But only for a moment.

“Master,” I write back, typing eagerly. “How are you today? Did you sleep well?”

Stupid question, but I can’t think of anything else. My pussy is still throbbing and with extreme effort, I draw my hand away from my wet panties. I’m wearing nothing else, the blankets wrapped around my pale skin. I am breathing a little bit faster, anticipation and eagerness twist within me.

“Well enough,” he replies. “Did you want anything in particular?”

He knows. He has to know. How could he not with a question like that? He always seems to know exactly when I am desperate like this. I delay my response for a few seconds, feeling the blood rushing to my face. A few weeks ago, I’d not even need permission to do this. I’d have laughed at the very thought!

But now I am lying in bed, about to ask my boyfriend for permission to touch my own pussy. Like he owns me. Like I am just a toy to him.

But the thing is, that’s exactly how we both like it. The air catches in my lungs and I close my eyes, savouring the feeling of helplessness and submission before I start to type.

“Master, I’m horny.”

A few seconds pass and he doesn’t respond. My pulse races, and I can feel myself growing ever more desperate. What is he going to say? Will he deny me? He has before. He loves to do it just to show me that he is in charge.

“My little slut,” the words come back. “We played the day before yesterday. Don’t tell me that you want to go again?”

I close my eyes again, loosing a soft moan. May is my name, but between the two of us, I’m his little slut. It’s demeaning and humiliating and I love it.

“Please sir,” I type back. “I’m so horny. I know we played recently, but I’m so wet right now.”

Silence follows again and I feel as if something important is hanging in the balance. My pussy throbs and the possibility of another day of slowly growing arousal fills me with dread. I wanna touch myself so much! It’s not fair that I have to ask permission!

But the fact that it’s not fair is why he has me do it. We both know that he’s in charge. That he is the master and I am the little slut who can’t keep her legs closed.

God, I love this man.

“Are you still in bed, May?”

He knows my schedule well. I nod even though he can’t see it and answer.

“Yes sir. I just woke up.”

“Wasted no time, did you?” I can almost hear his chuckle. Satisfied but not cruel. I was always into BDSM, into giving up control, but it was he who pushed me further and further. Who showed me just how much control I could really surrender.

“Please sir,” I try again, typing with one hand. My other brushes lightly against the material of my panties. The gentle touch makes me shiver.

“Why don’t you ask properly?” His reply comes back. Again, I can almost hear his teasing tone. He likes to tease, does my master. He likes to make me squirm and right now, I am squirming like hell. I know what he wants, and I know that I’ll do it. But I can feel my face heating up as I begin to type out the request in the approved manner.

“Please master, can your little pet slut spread her legs and play with her soaking pusy for you sir?”

My clit throbs as I type, a small moan plays through my throat. I feel hot, my skin tingling as I close my eyes. Fuck, how can he make me feel this way when we aren’t even in the same country?

But he does. He always has. Even if we’re not together, I can still feel his presence. I am still under his control. Still his little toy and every bit his little plaything and I love it.

“Kick off your blankets,” he writes back to me. “And wriggle out of your little panties. But don’t take them off totally. Leave them around your ankle like a slut.”

I do as I am told, my heart beating faster, the cold air pressed against my skin as I peel back the layers of my bedclothes. I make a soft sound, half yearning and half moan. Flushes of heat flash through me. One hand cups my left breast, teasing myself there. My thumb and forefinger gently work my nipple until it’s good and hard.

My back arches, my eyes close. God, it feels so good. My other hand moves to the waistband of my panties, gradually pulling them lower. The elastic clings to me a little as I draw them down my legs. My pussy is wet, and as my arm brushes against it, a little shudder runs through my whole body.

I leave my panties hanging around one ankle, my legs are spread, I’m lying on the bed totally exposed, my back propped up by a pillow just so. My pussy throbs with tightness, and my throat is dry.

“Are you lying in bed naked, my little slut?” My master writes again. “Are your legs open? Is your pussy begging for you to touch it? To stroke it?”

“Yes,” I write back. My heart thundering in my chest. “Oh god yes sir. Please master, please let me touch myself. Please let your little slut play with her pussy like a good toy.”

He takes longer to reply this time. I wonder if he is hard? I hope he is. I can imagine him stroking himself as he reads my words, realises how desperate I am. It’s not the first time I’ve broken down and begged like this. Sometimes he gives me relief.

Sometimes he doesn’t.

I wonder what he will do this time.

“Play with your nipples for me, May.” he writes back after a few moments.

He knows that my nipples are sensitive. Pausing only to write a quick ‘’yes sir’’ I begin to rub and tease them. My long, slender fingers pick at my nipples, caressing them and stroking them and rubbing them. Before long, my body is responding. I am moaning slightly, and shivers of coiling anticipation run through my body. My pussy pulses, my deft strokes are erotic and tender. My eyes flutter, and the feelings rise through me.

I know I am getting wetter and wetter and I still haven’t closed my legs. I’m not allowed to when we play. That was one of the first rules. He told me that if I wanted to be his little slut then I would act like a little slut, and a slut should never close her legs when she’s performing for her master.

I moan, my voice ragged and desperate. Aching need throbs through me. My pussy is hot and tight, tingles of desire and want sweep up my body. It wants to be touched, it wants to be stroked and teased and entered.

Fuck, I want to cum!

“Are you teasing your breasts, May?” master asks. “Have you touched your pussy? I hope not. You know I’ll have to punish you if you do.”

“No sir,” I manage to type with one hand. “But I want to! I want to so much! Please sir! Please, please, please!”

“I’ll think about it,” I can almost hear his chuckle again. Light, not cruel but firm.

“Good,” master says. “Now, I want you to imagine that I am there with you. That it’s me stroking your chest, teasing your nipples. Making you squirm and moan. Can you imagine that?”

“Yes,” I breathe, half gasping in ecstasy. I realise a moment later that he isn’t actually here, so I need to type it out.

“Yes sir, I can imagine it, sir.”

“I’d be so hard for you, my little slut,” he writes back. “Can you imagine it? Can you imagine what it would feel like if I tied your hands behind your back and fucked you then and there?”

I can imagine it all too well. My legs flex, anticipating what it would feel like to have him between them. His cock burying itself inside of me, thrusting and fucking me as my spine arches and my cries gradually turn into a chaotic sound of ecstasy.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck,” I moan. My nipples feel so good. So sensitive. Little darts of pleasure snap and worm their way down my spine. My mouth is dry, I can barely remember to keep looking at the screen.”

“Or maybe I’d put your collar on you,” Master writes. “Nice and tight just how you like it. Dress you in your black stockings and fuck you against the window. You’d love that wouldn’t you, May? You always love to put on a show, my little slut.”

My desperate murmuring grows ever more desperate. My pussy is throbbing for attention, a needy heat shooting through my body as I gasp and moan and wriggle on the bed like a mad thing. My nipples feel so good, but my pussy would feel better.

But I am not allowed to touch it yet. I’m a good slave. A good slut who does what she’s told. I’ve been naughty a few times and Master is inventive with his punishments.

“Or maybe we could get your little toy,” Master continues “The vibrator that you love so much. I can dial it up and down on my phone, keep you on edge all day. Just leave you on the bed for hours and hours and hours with your legs spread. Wouldn’t you love that?”

Yes! I want to scream, my body shuddering with heat and want. I love it! I want it all!

But right now, I just want to cum!

“Master,” I write desperately. “Please can I touch my pussy, sir?”

A pause.

“You didn’t ask permission properly, my little slut. I should punish you for that. But later. First, you can ask me properly.”

My hips are grinding back and forth now, my fingers work my breasts and nipples, I’m moaning and gasping openly like the slut that he taught me to be.

“Please sir,” I write. “Please can your slutty slave touch herself, master?”

“More humiliating.”

“Please! Please let me masturbate sir! I want to cum!”

“More humiliating.”

My face is burning, my chest is tight. I know he knows what he is doing to me. He’s loving it.

“Please master, can your slutty slave girlfriend fuck herself with her fingers while fantasising about what it will be like when you finally take her for yourself? Can she cum like a whore with her legs spread, moaning your name?”

My heart hammers. Humiliation washes through me but I adore it so. My pussy is pounding, it’s as if electricity is coursing through every cell in my body.

“You can touch yourself, May. But you’re not allowed to cum. Not yet.”

I don’t know what he’s planning but right now, I don’t need to. As soon as I have permission, one of my hands flies to my pussy. I bite my lower lip, my fingers working myself down there. Instantly, the pleasure intensifies, reaching a whole new level. I begin to squeak and moan. My lower lips are already soaked, tingles become waves of sparking pleasure as I twist back and forth in place.

“Oh fuck, master,” I write as soon as I am able. “Oh fuck, it feels so good sir. It feels so good.”

“Do not cum,” my master writes, and I realise with an odd feeling that he isn’t done with me yet. “May, you do not have permission to cum but nor are you allowed to stop. You can slow down, but you have to keep going.”

That’s unfair! I feel the realisation stabbing through me, even as my eager fingers begin to slow, it feels so good. Waves of heat and tightness throbbing through my pussy. How can I resist this?

“You’ll just have to have control, my pet.” My master seems like he read my mind. “I’m sure it won’t be too hard. By the way, while you’re doing that I want you to imagine what it would be like to be fucked by me. What it will be like.”

Oh fuck. How am I supposed to resist cumming while doing that? One hand is desperately kneading my chest, flicking and rubbing and stroking my nipple. My fingers probe and pinch, mixing pain with pleasure. The other is between my legs, my body rocking. Heat flushing through me. I am fucking myself with my fingers now, grinding against my hand. My clit burns and throbs, it feels so good.

I imagine his cock inside of me again. Thrusting, penetrating, filling me up. I begin to grind against the air, matching each of his imaginary thrusts. The air catches in my throat, heat builds between my legs. I am squealing now, static leaping between my nerves.

“Oh god, oh god, oh god,” I shudder. “Master Ethan! M-master!”

He can’t hear me, but he seems to know what’s happening. I hope he knows how desperate and wet I am. I imagine wrapping my arms around him as fucks me, as he makes me his now and forever.

I am so close! The tide of pleasure threatens to carry me away. I look desperately to the laptop.

“Master, I’m gonna cum!”

“No.”

“Please!”

“Absolutely not, my slut. I told you you weren’t allowed to cum.”

“Then can I stop?”

I imagine the little smile on his face.

“You can’t do that either.”

“Master!”

It’s only a single word, desperately typed, but I hope it can convey my desperation. My whole body feels tight, my muscles are stinging, I’m holding them so tensely. I know I am gonna cum if I keep going, I can feel the orgasm building and building and every part of me is screaming to surrender to it. To let it take me. But I fight it, holding myself back, resisting with everything.

But I am not allowed to stop playing with myself and gradually, my squirming becomes more and more frantic. My gasping breaths are quick and furious. How long has it been? I need to ask again!

“Master please!”

“May, are you disobeying me? You’re not allowed to cum. Now just think how long I could hold you like this, in that state. You’ve surrendered to me and given me everything. You got on your knees and promised to be my little slut, remember? Did you think that would be easy?”

“Please! Please! Pleasepleasepleaseplease!”

I’m reduced to just writing the word ‘’please’’ over and over as my body rocks. I don’t have enough energy to think of anything else to say.

“I suppose I could be convinced,” Master says. “But you have to offer me something. What do you have to trade, May?”

I shake my head. There are tears in my eyes. It feels so good, it’s taking all of my strength of will not to give in and cum. My body is shuddering, shivering and burning all at the same time. I gasp for air, trying to force myself to think.

“I won’t wear underwear, sir!” I write. “I’ll go without it all day and wear a short skirt!”

I can already imagine the humiliation that will come from that. A whole day of knowing that I am only one wrong move away from exposing myself to strangers. I know I’ll be mortified later, but for now, I don’t care. I just wanna cum.

“Not enough.”

“Sir!”

“It’s a start, May, but I am going to need more. How much longer can you hold back again?”

Not much longer, I think. It feels so amazing. My whole body is lighting up. Twisting and gasping and moaning in bed, my legs are still spread, but my pussy is soaking, my fingers sliding in and out of myself more quickly now than ever. I’m so close, I’m so close!

“I’ll wear my vibrator too!” I write, grasping for the first thing I can think of. “I’ll keep it in all day! The one that you can control! You can torture me with it all day! Just let me cum now!”

A shiver snaps through my body, I give a long moan. Feeling as if I am about to break down, but I manage to wrestle myself back. Just about. I know I won’t make it much longer.

My master still hasn’t replied. Is he holding back? Does he want more? What else can I even offer him?

“I’ll make you a video, sir!” I gasp. “When I get home from work, I’ll make a video of me undressing and you can see the kind of soaking mess I’ve become after so many hours with the vibe! And I’ll play with myself! Do whatever you want! Just….just please let me cum now!”

I am spiking, the climax rising. My moment approaching, my fists curl, and I know I am about to cum whether I want to or not.

“All right then, May,” my master writes. “Cum for me you little slut.”

I do, I cum like I never have before. My nerves scream, the world seems to fade and all I am left with is an ocean of pleasure that fills every inch of me. I am moaning his name, my master’s name, like it’s some magical incantation. My body is wracked with convulsions, the strength of my orgasm streams my breath away. I cum with my legs spread like I should, gasping his name until the end.

And then it’s over and I am lying in my bed. The laptop open in front of me, and my master’s latest message.

“Enjoy yourself, did you?”

“Yes sir,” I type shakily. “It was amazing. Thank you, sir. Thank you so much. I love you.”

“I love you too, May,” he writes back. “You little humiliation-loving slut.”

[nadvs]

Hi Nadia,how are you?

I am SO intrigued by HBD and there are so many things I’d like to see and to address,like :

- does she go to college? if she does,how are they gonna handle the distance?

-does he work for Ward?

-first date?

-THE PROPOSAL

-finding out she’s pregnant AND TELLING HIM😭

-first house?

-how many kids?

-do they get a dog/more than one?

-valentine together🥹🥹

-HIS BIRTHDAY

sorry I just love em babies too much

HI ANGEL omg trust me, there’s no need to be sorry!! i’m so happy that you love them because i enjoy writing about them so much 😭💘

drabbles from the home before dark universe

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

ᝰ rafe will never forget that she suffered through a terrible, abusive relationship and so he makes it his mission to give her a happy life, to make sure she always feels cherished, to make sure she’s never reminded of her ex. he showers her with love and takes her out to the priciest restaurant for their first date and it becomes their go-to place for special occasions and holidays like valentine’s.

ᝰ she goes to college off the island and around the same time, rafe starts working for his dad’s business. it’s tough for them because they grow to be a bit codependent and rafe hates not having her close by, especially on bad days when he’s not confident in himself at work. rafe never really stops craving his father’s approval and he never really stops being the kind of person who prefers to be distracted from overwhelming feelings, so she talks to him on the phone until he falls asleep many times. and when a storm comes in, she invites him to stay at her apartment or she goes to see him, just so he’s not alone. storms bother him for the rest of his life but she’s there every time.

ᝰ he proposes on the beach they spent their childhood on. it’s after he takes her to their favorite restaurant then he says they should go down to the shore “to skip stones” like when they were kids and he tells her he’ll find the flat ones for her so she’s standing by the water, laughing as she tosses pebbles into the sea, reaching back without looking at him. after a few turns, she reaches for another stone but feels his hand instead and looks behind her to see him on one knee. he’s so nervous that he forgets to even properly ask. he just holds out the ring and says “please say yes”

ᝰ their first house has a beautiful view of the sea from the bedroom. rafe sees it in her eyes that she falls in love with the place as soon as she sees this view and he knows he needs to buy this house for her. to him, her happiness genuinely becomes more important than his own. he never knew he could be a selfless person, but she brings it out him because of the way she loves him unconditionally.

ᝰ rafe gets a rottweiler when they move in. he has to go out of town for work sometimes and he knows his wife has a fear of home invasions from her past trauma so he wants them both to have the comfort of a having a guard dog just in case. she likes to joke that the dog is just like rafe - protective and vicious when the situation calls for it, but very sweet and affectionate with who he loves.

ᝰ she gets pregnant about a year into their marriage. it took a while, so she takes a bunch of tests to be totally sure. they visit his mom’s grave every other sunday and she decides to tell him while they’re with her. they both talk to her, sharing details about their lives, and she says “i hope i’m as good of a mom as you. we’ll see how i do in nine months” and she looks to rafe with teary eyes and a small smile and he is so taken aback and so happy and it means so much to him that she told him there, in front of his mom, so she could be part of the moment too. he cries tears of joy that day (and on both days his babies are born)

ᝰ they have two kids: a daughter, then a couple years later, a son. both of them inherit rafe’s dimples and every time one of rafe’s children beams up at him, he sees his mom’s smile. he parents the way his mother did. and whenever it’s even just a little rainy, he doesn’t let anyone get in a car.

ᝰ rafe always feels so seen and known by his wife, so when his birthday comes along, he’s not surprised at all that she knows exactly how he wants to celebrate. she loves to spoil him as much as he loves to spoil her. one of his favorite gifts from her is a watch with the dates of their children’s births engraved on the back.

[rory-multifandom-mess]

This might be an odd request, but if you’re interested could you do Jhad angst with prompts 2 and 21? I get it’s a pretty niche ship, but I’ve seen your other work and I’m interested on your take of the pairing.

Brother I shit you not I was JUST talking about this ship right before you sent this ask I am not even kidding. The timing on this was amazing. Here’s the screenshots of my exact reaction

ANYWAY I’d gladly do this pairing!! I think it would be really cute and I may or may not be thinking about writing a slow burn for it eheheheh

2. “Please don’t leave me” and 21. “I’m better when I’m with you”

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

.

.

.

Alone. A word that kept repeating in J’s head.

She was alone again, just like before, just like she always was. Just like before the manor, and after the massacre. She couldn’t win. She just couldn’t win.

Tessa was her friend, yet she was ripped away from her by that damn thing. V was her friend, yet she ruined that by siding with it.

Why couldn’t V just understand? It was the only way to survive. There was no escape, even in death… Though apparently she was wrong. Because they won. Solver was gone, and she was alone again.

J sighed as she gripped the blow torch harder, repairing the ship she had unceremoniously blown up.

She grit her teeth together, memories of their battle flashing before her, of Cyn using Tessa’s skin as a suit.

Suddenly, the blowtorch snapped in half from the pressure, the metal dented.

“Damnit!” J exclaimed, angrily throwing it into the snow beneath her. She jumped off the ship and kicked the broken torch further away, fists clenched by her side.

“Yikes-“ A voice said nearby, by the exit of the corpse spire.

J immediately swiveled around, one of her hands switching out for a rocket launcher as she aimed in its direction.

The worker drone flinched and fumbled with whatever it was he was holding before putting his hands up, eyebrows raised.

“Woah, J, relax!” He said.

“Oh.” J huffed, lowering her arm.

It was Thad, the one worker drone she managed to befriend. Well, more like he befriended her, despite her previous attempt to kill him. Granted, it was at least a few months after she had attacked that bunker.

She’d first met him in the woods, just outside of the abandoned city where “Tessa” was scouting out. She’d put J on watch duty.

At first, J didn’t bother to interact with him. But then she kept seeing him, and he’d only look even more sad and cold each time. Eventually, it turned into pity. She’d visit him while Boss was scoping the planet.

She would never admit it, but she slowly grew acquainted with this strange Worker Drone. Maybe it’s because it reminded her of the manor, when life was simpler. Maybe it’s because he reminded her so much of Tessa, goofy and dorky and funny and caring all the same. It was a breath of fresh air.

That was, until boss pulled her away from him too, because she finally had a lead.

J wouldn’t see him again for a while, at least not until everything came to a head and it was finally time for Solver to finish what it had started on the planet. They hadn’t gotten to talk at all, of course, everything was so intense, but she had noticed that he was hesitant to attack her before the planet had suddenly broken into pieces.

“What do you want? Here to mock me?” She asked with a snarl.

“Uh… no,” Thad said, scratching the back of his head. “I wanted to check up on you, actually.”

Her gaze softened as Thad walked further in.

“Y’know, that whole big battle seemed really intense. Thought you could use some company, since…” He trailed off.

J crossed her arms, putting her weight on one of her legs. “Because everyone hates me now?”

Sweat ran down his visor. He blinked and nodded slightly.

“I wanted to give you this.” He held out the item he had been holding to her.

It was a plush of a pink rabbit, its ears, arms, and legs floppy. It had button eyes and a white belly, yet it looked dirty with oil and debris. J took it from his hands and turned it slightly, looking at it.

Her expression softened more.

She loved plushies, even now after all this time since the manor days. She had missed just being able to hold one close and play with it. She gently squeezed its torso.

“…Thank you, Thad.” She said, glancing away and furrowing her brows, “But I don’t… I don’t need plushies.”

Thad raised an eyebrow. “Then why did you hesitate?”

J stopped for a moment, then moved the plush to her other hand, her claws extruding from the other as she pointed them at Thad.

“Don’t forget I can kill you right now!” She threatened, baring her teeth.

Thad put his hands up again, but only chuckled. “C’mon, J. You know you don’t have to hide anything anymore, right? You don’t have to pretend to be something you’re not. It’s gone. It can’t hurt you anymore.”

J froze. How did Thad know any of that? He was just a worker drone. There was no way he could’ve just said that on a whim.

He was right. She knew that. But— how?-

“I, uh… I asked V, N, and Uzi to give me a run down on everything,” Thad admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I didn’t fully understand everything, but from what I got, it… sounded pretty rough. For all of you.”

J felt her legs start to shake. First, anger, but then confusion and relief, all hit at once. Someone knew, someone, for the most part, understood, wanted to understand, wanted to understand her. Her expression twisted, trying to keep the emotions at bay, but the softness of his voice, the tone, the look he was giving.

It all made her so weak, in such a good way.

J lowered her arms and hung her head, arms shaking, her fists clenched around the bunny plush.

“And yet, after all of what they told you, you still want to talk to me?” She asked incredulously, her voice shaking slightly.

“Of course I do. You were there for me when I was stuck in the woods, even if you were mostly mocking me.” He chuckled at the memory, then added, “I’m repaying the favor.”

J glanced away from him, hugging her arms.

“Thanks, I guess.”

Thad smiled up at her, then looked past her at the ship.

“What’re you working on?” He asked.

She followed his gaze, then groaned.

“The ship. I was repairing it after I blew it up- You know, as an… apology to V. And N and Uzi, I guess,” She explained, “But I just broke the only welder I had.”

“Oh!” Thad perked up. “Want me to go grab you one?”

J looked at him again, confused. “Why?”

Thad shrugged. “Why not? I don’t want you to be lonely out here forever, J.”

Her core shook.

“Be right back, kay?” He said, turning on his heel and sprinting back out of the spire.

J watched after him until he disappeared behind the corpse walls. She looked down at the snowy footprints he made in his wake, tracing her eyes over each ridge of the shoe tracks.

She turned back to the ship, her mind wandering as she hugged her arms.

Now that she thought about it more, Thad really did remind her so much of Tessa in many more ways that she thought. They were both so bright and bubbly all the time, yet they bruised so easily. They were fragile, one and the same yet two separate people. Two separate things.

She was athletic, just like him. He was kind, just like her. He smiled with his teeth, just like she did when she laughed. She would glow when she was happy, and so would he.

He made stupid jokes just like she would, and would sometimes mess with her just to get a reaction. J gripped her arms tighter and closed her eyes.

The day of the Gala. Tessa’s left arm was hurt. It was bruised, yet untreated. J wanted to help, but she couldn’t.

“I’m ‘right, J.” Tessa would tell her, smiling nervously and rubbing the bruise with her hand.

She could tell she wasn’t alright. It hurt still, even moreso emotionally, she figured. But J never got to express how much she cared, because in the end all she was to Tessa was a pet. Something to be admired and laugh at, something that wasn’t supposed to have or understand the same complex feelings that a human possessed.

J knew she was more than that.

Then, before she and Cyn had reached the cabin fever labs. She found Thad in the woods again, hunched over and sitting in the snow, holding his left leg tightly. When she walked over, he looked up at her and smiled.

“Hey! What’s up?” He’d say, cheerfully, attempting to mask the pain he was in, albeit terribly.

“What happened to your leg?” She would ask, sounding stern and uncaring, her arms crossed across her chest, portraying faux feelings of apathy toward him.

“Oh— It’s nothin. I’m alright, J.” He’d promised, smiling up at her nervously.

Her heart swelled. He even talked like her sometimes.

J opened her eyes again and looked up at the glittering stars above her, a complacent expression playing on her face.

It was a surprisingly clear night out that night, the stars clear and twinkling softly, looking back down at her.

Thad was everything Tessa was and more, wasn’t he? He cared about J. He wanted her to have friends, to learn how to live with them so she wouldn’t have to live alone forever, regretting the decisions she made and the pain she caused.

He held his hand out for her, much like Tessa did, but this time, as a friend. Not as an owner, guiding a lost dog to her home. Thad had picked her up despite her flaws and tendencies, to try and guide her down a path of love and joy.

Not to mention, he was as handsome as his personality. J would never admit it herself, but he looked nice. Nicer than most male worker drones she had come across and ultimately slaughtered. For a moment, she wondered why he, of all drones, had hair, despite most males not having any, from what she could tell. So full of mystery as well, wasn’t he?

Just then, J froze, her head snapping back down as she stared into the distance, her eyelights hollow and blush forming beneath them.

“…Oh no…” She said slowly, the realization kicking in. “No no no!” She exclaimed, hiding her hands in her face.

She had fallen for him. And hard. Either it was because he was so much like Tessa, or because he was just himself, it didn’t matter. She liked him; no, she loved him, just as she had Tessa.

But— how could he ever love her back? She tried to kill him— She tried to kill everyone. She sided with the thing that was trying to eat the planet and kill everyone else with it. N, V, and Uzi undoubtedly hate her, and worst of all— …She was a failure. All of this time trying to be the best, and she couldn’t even do one thing right.

She failed Tessa. She failed to be the best maid, she failed to keep her safe. She failed Cyn, and the company. She was sent to do a job, yet she couldn’t even complete it.

She was pathetic.

The sound of snow crunching underfoot broke her from her thoughts, a gentle tap on her shoulder.

She flinched and turned her head.

It was Thad, looking at her with concern. “Are you okay?”

Don’t look at me like that.

“Yeah. I’m- I’m perfect!” J said, straightening her posture and turning to him, her tail swaying close to the ground. “Just fine.”

Thad tilted his head, then shrugged. He held out the welder to her.

“Here. Just don’t break it this time,” He joked.

She rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah yeah”

J’s wings appeared from her back again and flared out as the anti-gravity jets roared to life, sending her up so she could gracefully land on the top of the landing pod again, carefully welding the metal pieces together. She watched Thad out of the corner of her eye.

He put his hands into his pockets and watched, leaning back and forth on his feet. Despite his body language, he didn’t look bored. He seemed more intrigued than anything, looking over the ship in its whole, or at least as whole as it was at the moment.

J glanced at him.

“Why are you still here? Shouldn’t you go back to the bunker now?” She asked, putting on an annoyed facade.

“It’s the middle of the night, man,” Thad explained, “No one knows I’m here. And I don’t have to get to school for another two hours.”

J huffed. “Well, you better not distract me,” She said.

Please talk to me.

Thad put his hands up and nodded. “You got it, J.”

No, not like that. Stop acting like her.

J drew her eyes away from him and back at the metal she was welding, trying to focus. But her thoughts always went back to him. She couldn’t get him out of her head. Just the thought of hugging him was enough to make her mind spiral, and the idea of holding him made her feel like melting.

She was hyper aware of all movement in the area - a side effect that came from being a disassembly drone - so every small subtle move he made was enough to gain a glance from her. When he shifted his weight, or moved his hands, or took a few steps forward, she’d notice and look at him.

Suddenly, his words broke through the icy air.

“Hey, J.”

J glanced up at him, then back at her welding job.

“What?”

A smile slowly grew on Thad’s face, getting an idea.

“What’s this thing for anyway?” He asked, knocking on a metal panel, “Trying to build some kind of forest creature?”

J paused, looking at him in confusion. “You, of all people, should know what a space ship like this is for.”

Thad shrugged. “I mean, if you look at it from an angle, it kinda looks like a messed up spider.”

J simply rolled her eyes and returned to welding the metal panels. She moved to another support and lifted another metal panel, holding it against the metal already attached to the ship.

Thad seemed to stare at her for a moment, then glanced away.

It was times like these where J wished solver granted them the power of mind reading. She wanted to know what was going on inside that little brain of his. Two out of her six eyes squinted at him, the remaining four focused on the welding.

The only thing that filled the air was the crackle of the welder and the howling of the wind for a moment, until Thad interrupted.

“Hey, JJ!” He called.

“What, Thad?” She asked, the eyes on her display deadpanning.

“I bet your humor is as hard to catch as a frisbee in the wind!” He said with full confidence, a wide dorky grin on his face, his hands on his hips.

Stop doing that. Stop being like her. What is wrong with you?

J stifled a smile and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, well maybe you aren’t trying hard enough.”

“Ooh, playing hard to get! I like it!” He teased, pointing at her with finger-guns and winking, “Challenge accepted.”

J shook her head. What was he doing? What challenge? What was the point of this? What was he going to gain out of this?

J’s mind raced so much, she nearly welded her hand to the ship.

Now he was doing the one thing she told him not to do. Distract her. Granted, him merely being there was enough to distract her at first, so maybe he wasn’t at fault.

“Ooh! I got a good one,” He said, a mischievous look in his eyes as he rubbed his hands together.

“What’s white and has wheels?” He asked, anticipation in his voice.

J paused for a moment, thinking. She tilted her head slightly. In all the jokes that Tessa had told her, this was one she was unfamiliar with. Her mind went to the first most logical answer she could think of.

“A bike?” She said, hesitating.

“The snow! I lied about the wheels!” Thad basically shouted, throwing his arms into the air with a large grin across his face. She noticed that some of his teeth were strangely sharp.

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” She said, rolling her eyes and returning to her welding.

“Sure it does!” Thad said with a snicker, “You gotta stop thinking so literally about everything, J.”

She stopped, if only for a moment. She remembered when Tessa had told her that, after making a dumb joke like that, with the same gesture and the same, proud grin.

Her grip tightened on the welding tool.

Thad paced around, thinking of what to try next. She glanced at him.

Seriously, what was he doing? He kept saying random jokes, despite the fact she told him not to distract her. It’s not like she was going to do anything to stop him, she liked the jokes, it just—

WOAH. No! She did not like the jokes! She didn’t like jokes! Jokes were stupid and wasted time— There wasn’t any point to them, they made no sense—

Suddenly, she heard a thud and flinched, breaking her from her thoughts once again. Her head snapped to the sound, only to see Thad stumble back from one of the ship’s legs and fall into the snow, holding his foot with a pained expression.

J couldn’t help but snicker at his misfortune, confused but delighted.

He opened an eye and looked up at her, surprised to hear her snickering. She turned her head away quickly and covered her mouth, stifling her laughter.

She lowered her head and shook it, trying to keep herself calm. Behind her, she heard Thad call her name. She looked up and turned her head to him, curious.

Right as she turned her head to him, he began sprinting up a mound of snow, only to purposefully slip and tumble down the mound, landing on his stomach. He looked up at her expectantly.

J simply stared at Thad, her eyelights half-lidded. She shook her head and averted her attention back to her welding. She was almost done with the panel.

Honestly, watching him get thrown around was kind of funny, especially since he was throwing himself around. All that, just to get her to-

The realization hit her like a bowling ball.

Those silly jokes, the stupid looks, the dumb actions that would end in him getting hurt— they were all for her. To get her to laugh and ‘loosen up a little,’ as Tessa would put it.

Dear God, he’s just like her. Why is he so much like her? What is wrong with him?!

“Oh!” Thad suddenly exclaimed, causing J to stop welding. It was alright, though. She had just finished a panel.

She groaned, trying her hardest to keep her front up, and hopped off the ship, picking up another panel.

“What did one corporate say to the other?” Thad asked, excited to tell the joke, eagerness in his voice.

J raised an eyebrow as she shook the panel off, dusting snow from it. She was intrigued this time. Thad didn’t seem the type to know anything about corporations.

“What?” She asked.

“Nothing, because they’re bad at diplomacy!” He announced proudly, almost way too excited to see her reaction.

J stifled her laughter, quickly raising the new panel over her face so he wouldn’t see the look on her face.

She was smiling because of his dumb joke. It was funny, of course it was funny, and it made sense- and she was sure Thad picked up on her attempt to cover her laugh.

She tried to play it off, lunging back onto the pod with the panel in hand. In the corner of her eyes, she saw Thad’s goofy grin, and knew that trying to hide it had already failed.

A silence fell between the two of them as Thad began to pace, presumably thinking of more jokes, scratching his chin. Whenever he’d think of one, he’d stop and blurt it out. Of course, most of his jokes needed her to respond, but J didn’t mind that.

With each joke, J would giggle just a little bit more than before, even snorting quietly once. She couldn’t help it.

The way he delivered each joke with enthusiasm and the tone of a comedian, his stupid, adorable little face, full of excitement and pure joy, his face brightening whenever he’d hear her giggles.

She had to admit, his charm was irresistible.

She slowly began to forget her worries, forgetting how much Thad and Tessa had in common.

After a prolonged silence, Thad stopped in his pacing again.

“Oh! What do you do if you get the bird flu?” He asked, that same silly grin playing on his face.

J leaned back and looked at him with a smile. “What?”

“You get— …Uh…” Thad trailed off, glancing at the snow.

“Wait, I— I forgot the punchline,” He chuckled softly as he spoke, furrowing his brows as he tried to remember.

J snickered. “Take your time.” She said smugly, turning back to her welding.

Silence fell between the two again as he wracked his brain, trying to remember. J almost forgot he had even started to set up a punchline.

Suddenly, Thad’s head jolted back up as he shouted.

“Tweetment!” He exclaimed, his voice so loud it echoed through the barren outdoors.

J finally couldn’t hold in her giggles anymore, a hearty laugh erupting from her throat as she leaned back from the spot she was welding. Her legs slipped, sending her careening off of the pod and into the snow, still laughing and smiling, snorting every once in a while.

Thad grinned at her, admiring her smile and the way she laughed. He loved every snort, every giggle, every time she would roll on the ground, clutching her sides as she couldn’t stop from laughing.

He had succeeded in getting her to let loose, at least for now.

He chuckled, approaching her from the side and leaning forward slightly to hover over her face, placing his hands on his knees.

“It’s nice to see you smile like this, Jaybird,” He said softly, his expression kind and full of adoration.

J’s heart exploded in her chest, butterflies in her stomach as her eyelights hollowed at what he had just said.

Tessa’s voice echoed in her head.

“It’s nice t’see ya smile like this, Jaybird!”

That same smile. That same nickname. That same damned expression and tone of joy and pride. Those damned green eyes.

J quickly sat up and shoved his face away, turning away from him and curling up in a ball, her hands on her head.

Thad yelped and stumbled back slightly, trying not to fall.

Damn it all! Why do you have to be like this, you stupid toaster! Why? …Why me? Is this my punishment? Is this what I get?

Her mind raced, a swirl of emotions, anger and sorrow and melancholy, her core pounding in her ears.

“J?” Thad asked, concerned, rubbing his face.

She didn’t respond, her arms beginning to tremble.

She hated him. No, she hated herself. How could she let this happen? How could she allow herself to fall so heavily for this little drone? He was so much like Tessa, yet so different at the same time. She craved to hear his voice and feel his touch all the same as she did with Tessa, yet somehow stronger.

Thad’s worry only grew as he stepped forward, placing a hand on her shoulder. “C’mon, Jaybird, talk to me. What’s up?” He asked again.

That stupid nickname!

He was so much like her. But what if he was too much like her? What if she had fallen for someone with the same quirks and personality and phrases as her first crush, just for them to be ripped away again? Just for her heart to be taken and stomped on and spit on all over again? What if he didn’t like her back? What if he was just there because he thought she was pitiful?

“…You’re so much like her,” J finally muttered, not lifting her head, her voice shaking. Despite her doubts, despite everything— she decided to tell Thad what was going on. Maybe not about how badly she wanted to kiss him, though. Not yet.

“…What?” Thad responded, sitting next to her in the snow.

“Tessa. Cyn was wearing her skin, you know.”

Thad’s eyebrows raised. “…Oh.”

J chuckled sadly, hugging her legs. “I’m such an idiot, Thad.”

She paused for a moment, waiting for Thad to react, though he didn’t.

“I sided with that thing because I thought there was no point in fighting. I knew what it could do. V and I both did.” She sniffled. “It toyed with us. It used us to slaughter billions, all three of us.”

As she began to explain, Thad sat beside her and rubbed comforting circles on her back, listening closely.

“It used us to kill Tess’s family. It used us to kill her. It wore her skin like a badge… I still remember her screams.”

Finally, J’s head lifted. She looked out at the snow, her eyelights hollow, digital tears wavering in the corners of them.

“…I tried to fight back, Thad. Before all of this— I wanted to stop it. But I never won. It would always kill me and then clone me again. There was no escape, even in death.” J paused again, then huffed. “Guess I was wrong.”

it became silent between the two. The air around them turned sour, dampened by J’s experiences.

She sniffled and sobbed, internally berating herself for being so vulnerable in front of a stupid adorable worker drone. She was pathetic.

“…Geez,” Thad finally muttered, “I can’t imagine how I’d feel if I was in your situation.”

J didn’t say anything.

“I… I don’t think you did anything wrong, J.”

She turned her head to him.

“Sure, you made some mistakes,” Thad said, shrugging, “but you were just scared. You did what you thought was right, even if it wasn’t the best. Everyone makes mistakes.”

J stared at him. “How can you not be mad at me?”

Thad thought for a moment, glancing at the stars. Then, he looked back at her. “Because everyone has their own story. You were forced to kill someone you were super close to. You gave up, because you couldn’t fight back. You only wanted to survive.”

He paused, then smiled. “In the end, that’s all any of us want, right? That’s why the Worker Drones fled under the ice when you guys showed up.”

J looked into his lime green eyes. Her heart swelled. He was genuine. He didn’t hate her. He actually understood her. He was finally someone who cared enough to see her side of the story, to listen to her grief and fear and empathize.

Something Tessa failed to do.

Tears welled up in her eyes again as she dropped her head back into her knees, hugging her legs.

Thad frowned, his brows furrowing in concern. He gently leaned on her, awkwardly slinging his arm around her shoulders and patting her arm.

“It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay, J,” He reassured, speaking slowly and softly.

Stop doing that.

She hated this. She hated being vulnerable like this, sobbing pathetically into her knees while a Worker Drone leaned on her, comforting her. She hated that it was working. She hated that she needed comfort. She had said it before, she would say it again. She didn’t need anybody.

…But deep down, she knew that wasn’t true. Without someone to boss her around, what was she worth? If she couldn’t do a job, what was the point? That was the real reason she had started to put that stupid pod back together.

Most of all, J hated how much she crumbled around Thad. She hated how much he reminded her of Tessa, and how she fell for him just like she did her. Just because they cared. Just because they were trying to save her from a terrible path. She hated how pathetic she was.

She was suddenly broken from her thoughts by the sound of an alarm. She hadn’t even realized she stopped crying. How long were they sitting there for?

Thad jolted upright, slapping his face.

“Crap! I stayed out too long! I’m sorry, J, but I gotta bolt!” He said in a panic, quickly scrambling to his feet.

J perked up as well, but quickly turned, her knees hitting the snow as she reached up and grabbed his wrist.

“Wait!” She called.

He stopped and looked back at her, surprised.

She looked back up at him. Blush spread across her visor as her jaw hung open, eyelights hollow.

Wait. What am I doing?! She thought, panic rushing through her wiring.

“…Uh… P…Please… don’t leave me.” She asked quietly, glancing away, “I… I, uh… I feel better when I’m around you, Thad.”

She groaned and pulled her hand away, covering her face.

“God, I’m so pathetic, aren’t I…?” She asked no one in particular.

Thad didn’t seem to move for a second. Then, he dropped down onto his knees and gently grabbed her hands, pulling them off her face with a soft smile.

“No no, it’s okay! What’s one missed day of school, right?” He shrugged, “It’s Friday anyway. I’ll stay. I promise.”

J looked at him in the eyes, her processor running at two miles an hour. She felt so conflicted— she wanted him to stay, but her pride— like it wasn’t already damaged enough— but it’s a Worker Drone! I don’t need pity from a worker drone—

“…Thank you.” She muttered, cracking a small smile.

Thad smiled back.

“No probbles.”

J snickered.

“Such a dumb abbreviation.”

She didn’t care. She could sit like this for the rest of forever.

.

.

.

HOOLLLYYY SHIIIT. LONGEST ONE OF THESE EVER I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL OF YOUR DASHBOARDS. ANYWAY. I'm so sorry this took fucking ages to complete, my personal life has been so so busy.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED ANYWAY!! This was so so much fun to write, I love exploring J's character. AUGH. Don't worry Thad eventually helps her get over Tessa :D

Also so sorry to all the people who are waiting on their requests , especially to those who have been waiting since August. Life has been busy and I've been unmotivated. I'm hoping to get back to it whenever I can though!!!!

~~~~~~~

Prompt Post! Lizzy x Doll; "Stay with me forever"/"Because I love you!" N x V; "I thought you didn't want me"/"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" V x Thad; "I'm in love with you" V x Thad "I missed you so much"/"I can't stay away from you" N x Thad; "Can I kiss you?" N x Thad; "I want you. Only you." V x Thad; "I thought you didn't want me." Sam x Uzi; "The way I feel with you"/"I can't stay away from you." Uzi x Thad; "Please don't leave me"/"I'll always love you" N x Thad; "Please marry me"/"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" N x Uzi; "You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen"/"I'm better when I'm with you" J x Thad; "Please don't leave me"/"I'm better when I'm with you." <- You are here!

[elyvorg]

Kieran Part 1: It’s All About Strength

I’m a longtime Pokémon fan who happily plays through every mainline game, but I’ve never been more than mildly fond of the occasional character here and there, because Pokémon isn’t much for deep and nuanced character writing. Then I played The Teal Mask DLC and came out of it with many, many Feelings and Thoughts about Kieran – enough so that it warrants a full, juicy analysis about all of his subtleties and issues. I never expected I’d write one of these character analysis rambles of mine on a Pokémon character of all things, but here we are. Colour me surprised and impressed.

For anyone reading this in the future: this was written before The Indigo Disk came out and therefore only talks about the events of The Teal Mask. Assuming The Indigo Disk doesn’t completely drop the ball on the best character-writing job that mainline Pokémon has ever done (please; please don’t), there will probably be a Part 2 to this analysis coming in a few months. (Aaaaand here it is! But you should read this one first, of course.)

(I’ll be referring to the player character as “you” here for ease of wording, but rest assured, this doesn’t mean I’m accusing you the reader of any of the questionable ways the player character treats Kieran. I was also very annoyed at being forced to lie to him, believe me.)

His weakness, and your strength

Kieran is a kid gripped with a crushing sense of inferiority and weakness. We don’t see all of where this came from, although we get a pretty good idea of part of it – his sister. So many times when Kieran tries to protest against things and assert himself, Carmine snaps back at him for doing so. Over time, that kind of thing would have made him feel like he’s wrong for trying to stand up for himself, leading to him letting people walk all over him. I don’t want to give Carmine’s behaviour all of the blame for Kieran’s issues, though, because there’s bound to be more to it than that. I expect some of it also came from him being bullied and outcast during his time at Blueberry Academy – I hope The Indigo Disk gives us glimpses into what Kieran’s life there was like before all this.

As a result of feeling so weak and inferior, Kieran admires and idolises people he sees as strong. This becomes clear early on with how much he looks up to you just for being able to beat his sister, someone else he also sees as strong. Apparently, he couldn’t stop raving about how cool you were and how he wanted to battle you all evening back at home.

He doesn’t want you to know that, though, based on his protest when Carmine comes out and tells you so. Kieran's probably rather embarrassed for you to hear how much he idolises you, after all. He also seems to think his request for a battle would be annoying and a bother – he says “You don’t mind?” in surprise when you accept, even though asking people for battles is supposed to be just what trainers do. Why would a strong trainer like you want to waste your time battling someone weak like him?

Kieran’s comment in the battle if you land a super effective move is also very telling: “Oof, ehehe… I guess I got a lot of weaknesses…” He tries to play it off as light-hearted, but, hm, that sure is A Way for a rival character to comment on you knowing about type matchups. And he most certainly does not seem to agree with his sister when she says he’s almost as strong as her.

(Fun fact: the game actually lets you lose the first battle with each sibling while still continuing the story. If you lose to Kieran in that first battle, he assumes you were holding back against him, as if that’s the only reason he’d ever be able to beat anyone. Perhaps he’s experienced people holding back against him out of pity before – maybe Carmine used to?)

He's flustered when Carmine partners him up with you, too, even though you’re the only option that he has at least a vague rapport with now – he’s still assuming someone cool like you wouldn’t want to waste any more of your time on him than you have to. Kieran worries he’ll “get in your way” if he sticks with you, so he hangs back and stays well out of your way instead. It’s a cute way for the game to justify him not actually following you around in the gameplay even though he’s supposed to be following you according to the plot, but it also just makes perfect sense for Kieran’s character. This is a kid who constantly tries to take up as little space as possible because he’s convinced that nobody wants him around. And it’s important that he seems to feel especially this way towards the people he looks up to (with the exception of Carmine, because she’s family and he spends most of his time with her already).

Then there’s the scene where he meets Koraidon/Miraidon. At first, I assumed it was there to introduce Kieran to our lizardbike friend because they’d be relevant later somehow. But they’re not! So the only reason this scene exists at all is for the purpose of illustrating to Kieran that, in his words, “you’re special”. You are A Protagonist, capable of befriending super special, rare, strong Pokémon with ease. (Just like a certain other special legendary Pokémon you’ll be meeting soon, how about that.)

Admiring the ogre

So, as you begin the trip to visit the signboards about Kitakami’s legend, Kieran starts to open up about how much he likes the ogre. Perhaps he feels safe telling you, because you’re an outsider and won’t frown upon him for it like the locals are prone to do. He probably gets that from them a lot and has learned not to bring up the ogre in town – another thing that makes him feel left out.

Even so, Kieran starts from the angle of “it’s so strong and cool because it won one-on-three”, since that’s a more acceptable reason to like the ogre that doesn’t question the validity of the legend, and is less personal to his issues. If you agree with him that the ogre sounds cool before he’s explained why he thinks so, he responds with “I knew you’d get it!” – you, who’s also really strong and cool, would obviously recognise that same strength in the ogre right away, right?

If you’re sceptical at first instead, he stresses that “it was all alone!” and still managed to hold its own – the more personal side of the reason he likes the ogre coming out just a little. By the second signboard, Kieran’s gotten a bit more comfortable with you, enough to start touching on that more deliberately. He mentions that it’s shunned, and that he likes its strength because he admires that and wishes he could be that strong himself.

Then he invites you to see the ogre’s den, something completely unrelated to the purpose of the school trip, because he trusts you enough to feel sure that you’ll get what he’s trying to illustrate about the ogre there. He points out that it seems like a lonely, miserable place to live, and that he’d happily let the ogre stay at his house if it wanted. He’s not quite explicitly saying so, but Kieran clearly empathises with the ogre because he relates to that kind of loneliness. Though he doesn’t want to outright say that the legend is wrong and the ogre isn’t actually the bad guy – maybe he’s got backlash from the villagers before for suggesting it –  he's got to believe that to be the case.

(I’ve seen one or two people suggest that Kieran fawning over the supposed bad guy in the legend is an early hint to his potential for darkness, but I really don’t think that’s it. There’s plenty of reason for Kieran to relate to and see the sympathetic side of the ogre in the story due to his own status as a social outcast, without it needing to be a case of “he just likes bad guys because he’s Edgy”.)

Later, at the festival, Kieran has a quiet chuckle to himself when Carmine’s talking about the Loyal Three being heroes, and says it’s funny that she doesn’t know anything about the ogre. Then he conspicuously changes the subject when she implies that it’s just that he likes edgy bad guys, because that’s not it – but at least now he has someone who does get it. Carmine mentions later that she feels Kieran is trying to one-up her about the ogre, and maybe this is true. Perhaps this is one small way in which he can privately feel superior to his sister, because he’s more right than her, or than anyone in the village, about the ogre’s true nature. And while that’s more due to luck and a large helping of projecting his own issues onto it than out of any genuine inside knowledge of the truth, Kieran is the one person who understands the ogre best.

Or, at least, he understands it best… for the most part. Because there is one very key way in which Kieran is actually thoroughly wrong about what Ogerpon is truly like.

Misunderstanding the ogre

This begins to be apparent at the second signboard, when Kieran’s gushing about the ogre’s coolness and says “it didn’t even care when everyone shunned it”. From meeting Ogerpon later, we know that this is patently not true about her – she’s terrified of humans because of how they see her, so really she hates being shunned! But Kieran doesn’t imagine that to be the case about her, even though he empathises with her presumed loneliness and is basically projecting his own onto her. He sees the ogre as somebody who is shunned and alone, like he is, but who, unlike him, is strong enough to not let it get to them. Someone in the same bad situation as him, but with strength that he only wishes he could have to deal with it.

In that same conversation at the second signboard, Kieran then goes on to talk about how his sister always does everything for him, and he’d like to become stronger and more independent and reliable. And, “then, just maybe… I could be that ogre’s friend.” As if he doesn’t think he’d deserve to be Ogerpon’s friend unless he was already strong, just like she is.

He mentions a couple of times that he comes to the Dreaded Den a lot but has never once seen the ogre, which might seem a little strange at first. Obviously Ogerpon kept well hidden from him because she’s scared of humans – but, did Kieran never try to call out to her? To tell her that he’s not afraid of her, that he admires her strength and she must be lonely and hey, maybe they could be friends? If he had, then surely over time, Ogerpon would have grown to trust him and shown herself – so apparently, Kieran never did try to call out to her in an attempt to befriend her. Because he felt he wasn’t worthy of her friendship, not when he’s so weak, so inferior to someone as strong and cool as her. (A lot like how he wouldn’t have had the courage to tell you how much he admired you, if his sister hadn’t blurted it out for him.)

While you’re visiting the den with him, Kieran assumes that “a powerful ogre like that would only show up if it heard some kinda battle”, leading to him challenging you again. Since he admires the ogre for its strength, he’s assuming that the ogre also values strength just as much if not more than he does, which really isn’t necessarily true about Ogerpon!

During the battle, Kieran says he’ll “put up a good fight” this time. Which is to say, he still feels so thoroughly outclassed by you that he isn’t remotely expecting or even trying to win – he just wants to at least not go down quite as pitifully as last time, not when he’s potentially being watched by his idol the ogre. And when he loses (the game requires you to win this and all future battles against him), he laments how he’s ever going to be able to beat you, and then he muses, “If the ogre saw that battle, I’m sure it’d be thinking, ‘That kid’s got some real strength…’” He is assuming that Ogerpon would like you, far more than she’d ever like him, because of how strong you are. This is very important.

(As it happens, Ogerpon was secretly watching that battle, but as for whether she’s actually thinking what Kieran imagines she is about your strength – who knows?)

Friendship! Or is it…?

By the end of the den visit, Kieran has just enough confidence to invite you to the Festival of Masks, and to his own house to get ready to go together, which there’s no way he’d have been able to do at the start of the day. He’s so surprised but thrilled to hear that you consider yourself his friend – based on that and his grandparents’ reactions, you’re likely the first friend he’s ever made, which would not be surprising. It’s lovely watching this shy but sweet kid actually smiling and feeling comfortable around you and happy to have someone he can call a friend for the first time ever. And GHHHH it is so painful in hindsight knowing where things are headed.

Even with you calling yourself his friend, though, Kieran still feels inferior to you. He dejectedly offers to give you his mask for the festival when you find yourself without one, even though it’s the ogre mask, his favourite, his thing – because he instinctively feels that if anyone should be the one who gets left out, it should be him, like always, and not you.

The whole time, Kieran’s bound to be feeling thoroughly insecure about this new friendship. The idea that he’s actually made a friend, and not least someone as cool as you, likely feels far too good to be true, more than he deserves, and I suspect he might be constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. When he mentions to Carmine that you’re coming to the festival with him, her response is vaguely evasive, and Kieran responds to that in a very prickly, defensive way. It reads to me like he thinks Carmine is jealous of him befriending you before her, and that he’s afraid she might try to take you away from him as a result. Whether that’s actually true or not isn’t really the point (I think Carmine might indeed be a little jealous, but she would not do something that deliberately malicious) – what matters is that Kieran believes this may be the case and is liable to view all further interactions with you and Carmine in that light.

Then, at the festival, Carmine pressures Kieran into playing Ogre Oustin’ even though he doesn’t really want to. She’s probably doing this in an attempt to encourage him to have fun, but since he doesn’t find it fun (because he doesn't like this game where he's pretend-killing the ogre!), it’d be easy for him to feel like she only did it because she wanted him out of the way so she could hang out with you. And it’s while Kieran’s doing that that you and Carmine meet Ogerpon without him. Of course, that’s nothing but pure unlucky bad timing – Carmine had no idea Ogerpon was about to show up – but from Kieran’s point of view, with his obvious history of being maliciously left out of things by others, it’s easy for him to feel like there was some deliberate element to it.

At first he doesn’t know it has anything to do with Ogerpon, though. But still, when he gets back from Ogre Oustin’ and asks what you two were up to, Carmine abruptly shuts you up before you can speak and is blatantly hiding something – which Kieran takes to mean that you were laughing at him behind his back. That’s something else he must get a lot, for him to be automatically assuming it’s happening here. Really not so far off from his fear that his sister’s going to try and take you away from him, either.

Carmine’s lie isn’t done out of any malice – she is genuinely trying to protect her brother from feeling bad over being left out of meeting Ogerpon – but she sure is doing so in a way that’s going to make him feel even worse over being left out on purpose once he realises the truth. Carmine does care about her brother in theory, but this girl has zero social brain cells. And we the player are forced to play along with the lie whether we want to or not, which awkwardly turns our player-insert character into a very specific kind of character who would do so. I guess they either also have zero social brain cells, or they’re kind of a doormat who’s swayed by a forceful personality like Carmine’s. This part is frustrating, but I have to accept it because of the delightful things it does to Kieran’s arc, which really is the important part here.

Learning of the lie

The next morning, it seems like Kieran’s largely managed to brush off the weird bit last night where you and his sister were maybe laughing at him behind his back, because he greets you with a smile, ready to go see the last signboard. And then Carmine… forcefully demands that he finds somewhere else to be, because you’ve got business with her. Kieran protests that it’s not fair that you’ve been spending all your time with her lately – score two for his fear that she’s trying to take you away from him – and when she snaps back at his protest like always, he runs off.

But he doesn’t run off that far, because he stays close enough to listen in on the conversation. The discussion of Ogerpon’s story goes on for long enough – and takes long enough to get to the important part – that Kieran pretty much has to have stayed to eavesdrop on purpose, which is a little sketchy of him. Still, I can’t blame him all that much, what with his background of being mistreated, and the way Carmine’s behaviour gives him ample reason to be afraid there’s something going on here – of course he’d have wanted to know for sure. Perhaps he was even trying to hope that listening in would prove that you’re not actually hiding something bad from him and he was just being paranoid.

Except that actually, it turns out the truth is so much worse than Kieran had feared. Never mind just laughing at him – you and Carmine met the ogre without him and then hid it from him as if he didn’t even deserve to know. And, as if that wasn’t bad enough, it then turns out that he was right all along about the ogre being a good guy, and his own grandpa didn’t even think it was worth telling him that, and now you’re still just going to keep lying to him about it all and leaving him in the dark.

(Really, I have to side-eye their grandpa a lot more than Carmine here, because he’s a grown dang adult and has so much less excuse. He says he’ll tell Kieran the truth “when the time is right”, but what does that even mean? The “right time” would be right now! Heck, it should have been the moment he realised that Kieran had already intuited the truth!)

And all this being lied to and shunned and left out of things (like always) stings even more for Kieran because it’s coming from someone he’d thought was his friend. He’d actually dared to hope that someone – and not just anyone, someone really cool and strong – actually wanted to be friends with him? Of course that was too good to be true. Why would someone as cool and strong as you have ever wanted to befriend a weak loser like him, anyway? (After all, cool strong people only ever want to be friends with other cool strong people; that’s how it works, right?)

Probing about the lie

The correct thing for Kieran to do with this situation would have been to simply come right out and confront you about the lie. But of course he doesn’t have the courage to do that. He’s far too used to being shot down whenever he tries to assert and stand up for himself (no thanks to Carmine). And since he only learned about this because he was eavesdropping, it’s easy for him to imagine having that turned against him, and the whole situation being treated like he’s the one in the wrong for doing that.

Still, it seems like Kieran might want to at least indirectly give you the opportunity to tell him the truth. He heads off to the village shop to act like he was there the whole time, and then casually asks you what you were talking about back there. He’s maybe trying to hope that you don’t really want to lie to him and only got swept up into doing so by his sister’s forcefulness, and that you’ll tell him everything now that she’s not here, because, you said you were his friend, right? Later on, too, at the third signboard, the way Kieran brings up that his family is descended from the mask maker feels suspiciously relevant, as if he only thought to do so because he overheard the story and is trying to give you a chance to go, “Hey, speaking of that mask maker, actually…”

But no. It sure seems like you’re very deliberately choosing to keep him in the dark. As such, he’s bound to be feeling extra small and awkward at the signboard, just wanting to “get this over with” and be done spending time with you, because you clearly don’t want to waste any more of your time with him than you have to, right? The awkwardness of the third signboard photo, with Kieran obviously not wanting to be there, and your character’s very strained thumbs-up, is heartbreaking in comparison to how cute and happy the first two were.

During the conversation there, Kieran mentions the ogre being alone and treated like an outcast in a way that is very clearly also talking about how you and Carmine are treating him right now. The game pointedly lingers on his response to your comment, regardless of which dialogue option you choose. If you agree that that sounds awful, he says, “You think so too, huh?” – you think that it’s bad to treat someone that way, and yet, you sure are treating him that way anyway. If you instead mutter an awkward apology, Kieran asks, “For what?” This could read like he’s calling you out for not being able to admit to what you should be apologising for, but actually, I’m not sure that’s it. It could also be him genuinely asking that, because he doesn’t realise you need to apologise for anything. Hold this thought, I’ll go into it more in a bit.

It's because he’s weak

The other thing that happens at the third signboard is Kieran challenging you to another battle. He doesn’t really explain why, but I suspect he’s hoping that if he wins and proves his strength to you, you might just tell him the truth, or at least it’ll give him the courage to confront you about your lie. This is the first battle in which he says he wants to win and is actively trying and hoping to do so, rather than just accepting his loss before he’s even started. His optimism is pretty fragile, though, as he laments “it wasn’t supposed to go like this” if you hit him super-effectively, and “why does it have to be like this?” when he’s down to his last Pokémon.

But of course, he loses, just like he must secretly have been expecting to all along (how could he ever beat someone as strong as you?). And so he concludes, “it’s all ‘cause I’m too weak” – not just losing the battle, but everything. Why he’s always left out and shunned by everyone, why you lied to him and went behind his back about something you knew was important to him – it’s because he’s weak. He was battling you to try and prove that he’s stronger, strong enough to deserve better than that… but of course he isn’t.

A particularly important little subtlety is that he mutters “That’s why I…” – because it would have been easy to expect this line to say “you” instead. That you lied to him and shunned him because he’s weak, that it’s your fault for choosing to treat someone weak like this. But Kieran isn’t framing it that way. He’s thinking of it as his fault, simply for being weak, and that’s why he will always inevitably be treated like crap by everyone around him. As if that’s nobody else’s fault for choosing to do that, but simply the natural way of things when someone’s weak. As if he deserves this for being weak.

(So: what are you sorry for? You shouldn’t be sorry for anything; it’s his fault, isn’t it? Someone as strong and perfect as you could never be conflicted or in the wrong.)

By the end of this signboard visit, Kieran’s leaving on his own, saying that he’s got to get stronger with his Pokémon. All of this is happening because he’s weak, so he needs to be stronger – and apparently, that means “strength in Pokémon battling”. In reality, even if he did become the best battler out there, that wouldn’t necessarily make him any better at standing up for himself in social situations or being independent and reliable in other ways, but he’s very much conflating the different kinds of strength. This probably has a lot to do with his schooling at Blueberry Academy, which teaches Pokémon battling, leaving him overly focused on battling strength as the only kind of strength that matters. Perhaps he was picked on at school because he wasn’t very good at the battling classes, which wouldn’t have helped. I hope we see some glimpses of this in The Indigo Disk.

And on the topic of Kieran fixating on getting stronger at Pokémon battling: his Furret is never seen in his team again after this point. It was one of the first two Pokémon he used against you, so it’s presumably one of his closest Pokémon partners, which makes it heartbreaking that he ditches it from his team because, clearly, it’s too weak. Even worse, he’s inflicting being left out and shunned on someone else – someone he probably cared about – precisely because it’s weak. That’s just what happens to people who are weak, right? Guh. Poor Furret.

Outburst at Loyalty Plaza

Kieran most likely spends the next 24 hours alternating between fervently training as hard as he can, and stewing in his feelings of loneliness and rejection and betrayal. His grandpa mentions that he spent that night in his room after not even eating dinner, which, yeah, when he’s sharing a house with two of the people who are lying to him, not surprising. Oof. And more than just pain and betrayal, he’s got to be feeling so much anger, anger which he’s never been able to truly express, because every time he tries to stand up for himself he always gets shot down – but that only makes the suppressed anger worse.

The correct thing to do would have been for Kieran to confront everyone calmly about the lie as soon as he became aware of it. But because he couldn’t just do that, his resentment festered inside of him with no real outlet, until finally it becomes unbearable and explodes out of him and he has to do something to express it, no matter how questionable. So he steals the Teal Mask and runs off with it.

I don’t think Kieran actually has much of an idea of what he’s going to do with the mask. The one logical thing would have been to give it back to Ogerpon himself, but that can’t be his intent, because he doesn’t go anywhere near her den with it. And I highly doubt he’s planning to break it or anything like that, since he’d never do something that’d hurt Ogerpon. Really, I think he just wants you and Carmine to notice and acknowledge what he’s going through and what you’ve done to him – and if he steals the mask, you’re going to have to confront him to get it back.

He heads to Loyalty Plaza in particular because he’s conflating his own situation with Ogerpon’s. In amongst his pain and anger at the way he’s being treated, he’d have also been feeling a lot of anger at the injustice of how Ogerpon was and is treated, because he was right all along that she was never the bad guy, but she’s shunned undeservedly while the “Loyal” Three are lauded as heroes. Even though this outburst from Kieran is really all about his own situation, he makes it about Ogerpon first, because that’s easier for him to openly be angry about. He only brings up his own treatment as a comparison to how Ogerpon is treated like an outcast, as if the only way he can frame it as wrong in his head is by comparing it to something that’s definitely wrong. (After all, he deserves to be shunned because he’s weak – but Ogerpon didn’t deserve any of it, because she’s so much stronger!)

During Kieran’s outburst, Carmine blurts out an apology on realising that she’s hurt him – but Kieran basically just ignores it and continues to vent. Which tells us something interesting: that Kieran never did this out of any attempt to get you and Carmine to apologise for lying to him. If he’d wanted that, he’d have reacted in some way when Carmine did just that. So I think, in keeping with Kieran’s belief that all this is his fault for being weak, he doesn’t actually think you two need to apologise for anything. He’s lashing out because he’s angry and in pain and doesn’t know how else to deal with it, but he’s not consciously thinking that you and Carmine are in the wrong.

He’s also still holding onto the idea that you and Carmine were just laughing at him behind his back, which is of course not true, but when Carmine tries to say that, Kieran snaps back that she’s a liar. Given that she undeniably has lied to him about one very important thing, of course Kieran would find it easy to believe that she could be lying to him about anything and he can’t trust any reassurance she gives him. This poor kid must have such a history of being mistreated and patronised by others to jump to assuming things like this.

Lashing out with a battle

Then Kieran challenges you to another battle, promising to give back the mask if you win. Since there’s no way he is truly expecting to be able to beat you, this means that he never really intended to keep the mask forever. But he also doesn’t just want to seem like some weak pushover who’ll roll over and give in as soon as he’s confronted, so he at least wants to make you fight him for it. And based on his line at the beginning of the battle – “I know this isn’t right, but… I can’t just hand over the mask to you!” – he doesn’t want to just give up one of Ogerpon’s possessions so easily to someone who treated him like an outcast the same way those villagers back then treated Ogerpon.

Really, I think the battle – and the notably forceful way he asks for it, unlike the previous times – just comes a lot from Kieran’s anger, and his need to externalise it somehow. He even insists that he needs this battle, if you’re hesitant about accepting the challenge. There’s probably a part of him that wants to lash out with physical violence, maybe punch you or something, but he knows that’s wrong and that it’d look pathetically impotent of him anyway even if he tried. Happily, this world has a socially-accepted form of violence-by-proxy instead, so Pokémon battle it is!

As for the battle itself, Kieran’s switched up his team some more, removing Furret as previously mentioned, and adding two new members instead of just one like the previous times – but the Cramorant he uses here doesn’t stick around either. This is less sad to me than Furret, though, because he wouldn’t have been very close to it. Cramorant may even have been taken onto the team with the condition of “I’m trying out new team members to see who’s strong enough”, at which point ditching it is less of a betrayal and more of it simply failing a job interview.

(Meanwhile, the other newcomer, Gligar, clearly impressed Kieran a lot with its strength, as it becomes his ace for the final fight. Fitting that his ace there is not a long-time partner, but one obtained only after he began to fixate on getting stronger.)

He’s also more openly determined to win (despite his suppressed conviction that he could never beat you), and remains more optimistic than before even when things aren’t going so well for him. In fact, this is the only battle in which Kieran has lines for hitting you with a super effective move or a critical hit. That said, he’s still a little insecure, based on an optional line: “I need to get this right… I’m gonna make sure to give the right commands!” which tells us that he feels like his losses are his fault for making mistakes and choosing the wrong moves, rather than blaming his Pokémon for not being strong enough. He also has an absolutely great comment in this battle if you land a critical hit, which I have to highlight: “What can’t you do? You’re like the hero in a story…” It’s purely luck, but despite that, he’s seeing you as this impossibly perfect hero that he could never ever measure up to, and this delights me.

Losing the battle just seems to make Kieran’s frustration at his own inferiority even worse, to the point that he does indulge in some physical violence, towards the shrine. Which is as pathetic as he must have been expecting, and should in theory have been harmless enough. (Of course, it appears that this is what somehow resurrects the Lousy Three, but there is no way Kieran expected or wanted that to happen, so he can’t be blamed for that.) Then he gives the mask back, just as he promised he would, and (ignoring another attempt by Carmine to apologise – again, this was never about that to him) he runs off back home.

So I find it really hard to condemn Kieran for… any of his actions here? Sure, he stole the mask, but he didn’t do anything bad with it and gave it back just fine (and must have always been intending to). All he was doing was lashing out – unhealthily, but basically harmlessly – over the really very callous way you and Carmine had been treating him. And if he hadn’t done this, you two would probably never have told him the truth about Ogerpon, and he’d have remained out of the loop and never met her at all! That would have been awful!

And yet: making you and Carmine bring him into the loop about Ogerpon and getting the chance to meet her is also not something Kieran was aiming for here. Just before leaving in a sulk, he says, “Say hi to the ogre for me” – which means that he never expected to get to meet it himself. He is still, even by the end of this confrontation, labouring under the belief that you and Carmine don’t want him there with Ogerpon and that he doesn’t deserve to meet her at all.

Apologies, and a lack thereof

After you rescue Ogerpon from being bullied by the resurrected Lousy Three, Carmine shows up with Kieran in tow. Apparently she found him moping around at home and dragged him here to apologise to you about his stunt with the mask. Which, yes, does warrant an apology – but what really frustrates me about this part is that Carmine doesn’t apologise for what you and she did wrong. Sure, she blurted out a couple of cut-off apologies back at Loyalty Plaza, but those never had the intended effect when Kieran was in no emotional state to accept them. Here and now, he’s calmed down enough that he would be able to take on board an apology… but Carmine doesn’t give one. It’s possible that she already apologised at home before bringing him here, but if she’d done that, then she really ought to have got you to also apologise for lying to him, and she doesn’t – so I can only assume that didn’t happen. And you the player can choose to apologise to Kieran here anyway, but since it’s optional, it’s not given nearly the attention it deserves.

Since Kieran never gets a proper apology while he’s in a state to listen, it means he never actually ends up internalising the fact that you were in the wrong to lie to him and he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Which would have been a really, really important thing for him to realise! As it is, he continues to quietly assume that all of this is his fault for being weak, with nobody to tell him that this way of thinking is flawed.

It's frustrating, but I do kind of get it, from Carmine at least, because she’s also a pretty flawed person. Her deal seems to be that she’s only able to be emotionally sincere in uncontrolled outbursts when she’s worked up, and when she’s calm she covers up her true feelings with bossiness and vanity. Which makes her not at all capable of apologising to Kieran when he’s in a calm enough state to be capable of registering it. These siblings’ issues do not mesh well. Still, here’s hoping that Carmine’s able to self-reflect enough to acknowledge her partial responsibility for Kieran’s suffering by the end of The Indigo Disk.

She does seem to realise her mistake here enough to make a point of trying to include Kieran in their Ogerpon adventures from here on out, at least. But it’s too little too late in terms of how Kieran views things. He seems to have assumed that Carmine dragged him here only to apologise, and not to properly meet Ogerpon or be involved in helping her out, because he expresses surprise when Carmine casually includes him as part of the Mask Retrieval Squad. He was expecting to be shunned and left out as always – what do you mean, she wants him there?

Meeting Ogerpon

The only interaction Kieran was expecting to have with Ogerpon here was giving the fixed-up mask back to her, because he wanted to be the one to do so – but she shies away from him when he offers it. Carmine comments that she’s probably scared of new people, and this is likely the truth, but Kieran’s silent response suggests that he’s not necessarily agreeing with that assessment. Remember, from earlier: Kieran is convinced that Ogerpon values strength. And he’s so used to being shunned by others, especially strong people, because he’s weak. It would be very, very easy for him to come to the irrational conclusion that the reason Ogerpon refuses him is because of his weakness, even though his sister’s suggesting something else.

Despite Kieran’s key misconceptions about Ogerpon’s values, he does continue to understand her better than most people in certain ways. When you try to head into town with her, Kieran’s the one to point out that she’s probably afraid to go in because of the way she’s been treated by the townspeople. He also comments that she’ll feel safe going to retrieve the masks from the Three as long as she’s with you. He empathises with that insecurity and social anxiety enough that, seeing it from Ogerpon in person, he can instinctively see that’s the case about her too.

And yet… seeing Ogerpon’s fear, and understanding that she’s scared of being shunned just like him (which he previously said the ogre didn’t care at all about!), doesn’t actually change the part of Kieran that is also irrationally convinced that she only cares about strength. There’s no moment in which he seems to be re-evaluating Ogerpon or realising anything new about her upon seeing her being afraid. The part where she’s shy and afraid, and the part where she’s strong and cool and therefore values strength in others, manage to be separate enough in his mind that he never actually cross-references them to realise that one of these surely can’t be as true as he thinks it is. So his false conviction that things are about strength to Ogerpon still remains, unchallenged.

Staying behind

Then, even though Carmine is making an active point of trying to include him, Kieran… chooses not to come with you on the mission to retrieve the masks. This is despite the fact that this’d be his best chance to spend time with Ogerpon and hopefully get her to warm up to him, which you’d think would be his priority when he’s quietly hoping to maybe have the chance to become her partner.

But even though it would be a logical choice for Kieran to come with them, it makes perfect sense to me why he doesn’t. As far as he sees things, you and Carmine are way stronger than him and already have the fights against the Three covered – he’d be nothing but a useless third wheel hanging back, only there out of Carmine’s pity for him and not because he’s needed. And in terms of Ogerpon, Kieran is the kid who visited her den countless times but never had the courage to call out to her and ask to be friends. Of course he knows he wouldn’t have the confidence to actually try and get closer to Ogerpon, especially not when she’s already got someone she likes (someone who’s strong while he’s weak, which is clearly what matters to her, right). He knows he’ll just spend the whole time watching Ogerpon obviously like you way more than him while not being able to do a thing about it, and it’ll just make him feel even more jealous and left out.

(Trust me, as someone with social anxiety who spent a lot of my childhood being low-key outcasted by my so-called friend groups, I get it. When you’ve lived like that, integrating yourself with new people can feel downright impossible, no matter how much you may want it.)

So Kieran doesn’t come on the mission – but it’s not like he just uselessly sulks around, either. He spends the time doing something else to help Ogerpon, something neither you nor Carmine seemingly thought needed to be done: telling the town the truth that she was never a bad guy. Because of course Kieran understands best just how hard it is for Ogerpon to be shunned and outcast by everyone, and of course he has some Strong Feelings that people deserve to be told the truth, hmm I wonder where that might have come from. This task is really difficult and scary for him, too, because he hates talking to people – but he does it anyway, for Ogerpon’s sake! What a brave lad!

(I’ve seen people side-eye the fact that the villagers accept the truth and turn around their view of Ogerpon so easily, but honestly it doesn’t seem unreasonable to me. I get the mask maker way back when being persecuted because the villagers of the time saw Ogerpon kill the Three and made assumptions, but, like, it’s been generations. All of the witnesses who had that emotional gut reaction to the fight are long dead. Most of the people alive today didn’t even truly believe the story of the ogre was real until the Loyal Three showed up – they just thought it was a fun folktale that gives their village some unique culture. So for them to be told “hey, the ogre is real, but also the story’s backwards and the ogre’s actually the good guy”… so what? I was always sceptical of Grandpa’s conviction that the truth must never be told to the village (because… people will get angry that they were lied to? So therefore you should just keep lying to them so they never find out they have something to be angry about? Yes, great tactic, it worked so well on Kieran). Kieran basically just went and proved that there really was nothing to be worried about all along and the people should have been told the truth ages ago.)

His final chance to be strong

So now we reach the end, where Ogerpon makes it clear that she wants to stay with you, and… and even though he must have seen this coming, Kieran can’t accept it happening without trying to fight against it.

This isn’t even really about Kieran wanting Ogerpon’s friendship in and of itself. It’s more about what the concept of being partners with Ogerpon means to him. This whole time, he’s been obsessed with the ogre, and yet only letting himself imagine that maybe one day when he’s stronger, he could be its friend. He’s fixated on the idea of befriending Ogerpon as something that will mean he’s strong and no longer alone and everything is good now. Obviously this is extremely irrational and not necessarily true nor the sole way to fix his problems, but that’s how things are in Kieran’s head.

And so, with recent events making him feel even more weak and outcast than ever, you being effortlessly strong and cool enough to befriend Ogerpon on top of everything else feels to Kieran like it’s about to take away his one chance to turn things around, forever. Of course he can’t just let that happen without at least trying to have things his way. He says right at the beginning of the battle: “I know you’re probably a better trainer for Ogerpon, but I… I…” – and he can’t even voice the end of that sentence. He can’t put into words why he feels like he needs to become Ogerpon’s partner even though he knows he's being selfish and she’d be better off with you, because it’s not based in any conscious logic and is all just one big subconscious irrational mess of his issues and inferiority complex.

I’ve seen a lot of people condemn Kieran for this part, saying that he’s ignoring Ogerpon’s wishes because he’s planning to force her to join him whether she wants to or not if he wins. However, I firmly disagree that Kieran has any such thing in mind here. Remember, he’s still labouring under the misconception that what Ogerpon cares about most is strength. He thinks she likes you so much because you’re so strong (remember the previous time he battled you in front of the den, where he commented that the ogre must be thinking how strong you are if it’d seen that?), and that she refused the mask from him that one time because he’s weak. So Kieran has convinced himself that if he can prove himself to be stronger than you, by defeating you in a battle while Ogerpon’s watching, then she’ll naturally choose him to be her trainer over you. Right?

When Carmine says that he has to consider Ogerpon’s feelings, Kieran’s simply silent for a moment before saying “…I want to battle anyway.” He’s not denying that Ogerpon’s choice is what matters – he just believes, or is at least trying to believe, that her choice will be determined by this battle. And of course he doesn’t say anything like “Ogerpon will choose me if I’m stronger than you”, because – well, perhaps because a lot of this is also subconscious enough that he can’t articulate it, but even if any of it was conscious, he knows it’d sound stupid. Especially the part where he’d be talking like it’s possible for him to beat you, because deep down, he still completely convinced that’s impossible.

Plus, nowhere in this does Kieran bring up the fact that he told the village the truth about Ogerpon as a point in his favour for why she might choose him – which supports that it’s not about any kind of friendly gestures to him and he’s convinced she’ll make her decision entirely based on strength. (And it also proves that he did that out of a genuine desire to help Ogerpon, without any ulterior motives of trying to get her to like him!)

Just before the battle, he says: “Whoever wins gets to be Ogerpon’s partner… So don’t… don’t you dare hold back!” – making a point of demanding you don’t hold back, even though you might think he’d want any advantage he can get towards supposedly winning Ogerpon’s favour. But this makes perfect sense when you realise what this is about to Kieran. He believes that Ogerpon will choose (and deserves to choose) whichever of you is the strongest, and this battle won’t actually prove that if he only wins because you were holding back against him.

Kieran also thanks you for not holding back when you land your first super effective hit, which I enjoy. He’s so used to being patronised and seen as weak and pathetic, so he’s actually glad that you’re taking him seriously and viewing him as a legitimate opponent.

And, hey, he is! His team is pretty stacked: a full six Pokémon with solid movesets, and even strategic held items (at least in the postgame version). Assuming you’re not over-levelled, it’s quite a challenging fight, as it should be. Kieran is trying so, so hard to be strong enough, because this poor kid has convinced himself that all of his problems and pain are due to him being weak, and he is so desperate to fix that by proving himself even stronger than you, strong enough to win Ogerpon’s favour.

When he loses, he just crumples, and it’s heartbreaking. Kieran had so much more riding on this battle than just befriending Ogerpon – this was what felt like his one and only chance to stamp out the part of him that feels crushingly inferior and like he deserves to be treated like dirt. Guhhh.

And of course the first thing out of his mouth is, “Figures.” His inferiority complex runs so deep that, no matter how hard he’d trained and how genuinely really good his team had grown, he never truly believed that he ever had a chance at beating someone as cool and strong as you. He was just desperately trying to convince himself that he at least had a shot, because he couldn’t bear to give up without trying.

I really wish you could tell Kieran how good he was in this battle! It truly is impressive how much better he’s grown at battling since the first one, in such a short space of time, too. Just because he’s not quite as strong as you doesn’t mean he’s weak, not by a long shot. But nobody tells him any such thing, so Kieran continues to view things in that irrationally all-or-nothing way. He lost, so he's weak, end of.

Then he has to stand there and watch you battle Ogerpon in order to catch her. Before all of this happened, Kieran would have been so stoked to see his hero the ogre showing off just how cool and strong she is – and hey, her powers really are pretty awesome to behold! But here, despite the amazing spectacle in front of him, Kieran just looks supremely awkward. Like he doesn’t feel like he deserves to be here. Like he doesn’t even have the right to get to see Ogerpon’s full strength in all its glory. You’re the only one who’s strong enough to have earned this.

He does make one possible comment during the battle, if you land a critical hit on Ogerpon: “You really are good… I’m no match.” Which is a bit excessive, considering that really anyone is capable of critting Ogerpon if they get lucky – but apparently Kieran’s thoughts during this battle are still incredibly hung up on just how strong you are and how he’ll never be able to measure up to you. This goes to show that his issues at this point have shifted to be more about you than about Ogerpon. Which tracks, since his admiration for the ogre was never quite about Ogerpon herself and was more about what her strength represented to him – and now you’ve come along and given him an even bigger example of impossibly cool strength, in a much more painful way.

Once you’ve captured Ogerpon, Kieran manages to awkwardly congratulate you on it – hey, he’s doing his best not to be a sore loser! – laments once again why he can’t be like you, and then runs off. No doubt he’s feeling a huge heap of uncontainable painful emotions that he does not want to show in front of you or Carmine and needs to go let out in private. This kid is Not Okay.

So, in summary: Kieran comes out of all this with the message that all of his pain and suffering and loneliness is his fault because he’s still too weak, and he will only ever be strong enough to put all that behind him once he’s stronger than you. And to do that, he needs to get so, so much stronger, almost impossibly so, no matter what he has to do to achieve it. I’m sure this will be Just Fine leading into The Indigo Disk. (: (: (:

And one last thing: the game doesn’t let this happen, but if Kieran had won that final battle against you, I believe things might actually have turned out better. Because let’s face it, Ogerpon would probably still have chosen to go with you anyway, and if she had, Kieran would have been forced to face the fact that it was never actually about strength to her. It wouldn’t even be that hard for him to understand that, given that he’d already noticed the indications that she was scared of being shunned by the townspeople and that she liked you because you made her feel safe. This would help Kieran recontextualise things a little and stop focusing so unhealthily on gaining more battling strength as the One Thing that will solve all his problems. He still wouldn’t exactly be suddenly fixed and happy, but… things wouldn’t be quite so bad, at least. Alas, you are Too Protagonist to lose and let that happen.

[metalnecklace]

Stubborn When It Comes To This

Pairing: Javier Peña x Reader (plus size)

Words: 9075 (this really got away from me)

Warnings: Smut (mdni), Plus size reader, Use of (Y/N), Probably some historical inaccuracies, Mentions of canon character death, Language, Oral (both f and m receiving), Fingering, Light choking, Spitting, Creampie, Unsafe sex (wrap it up, folks), Praise, Consent is sexy!, Pet names

Notes: This was supposed to be a super quick thing, I have no idea what happened

Summary: Javier Peña is frustrating, until he isn’t.

Masterlist

Arrogant.

If I could pick any word to describe Javier Peña that’s the one I’d use. Arrogant. Or maybe asshole. Bastard. Piece of shit.

Maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

I had been working with the DEA for about two years as a secretary, and usually didn’t have much issue. Luckily most of the men left me alone due to my larger frame, but not even that stopped the infuriating Agent Peña from being a thorn in my side. My entire time was spent blocking him from documents he wanted, no matter how hard he shamelessly flirted with me for the first few months before he gave up the charade. I knew it wasn’t sincere, and I knew I’d be the one getting in trouble if I let him have what he wanted.

So I said the one word he hated the most: No.

“Come on, sweetheart,” he sighed, exasperated. “Just give me what I want. Do you understand what’s at stake here?”

“Yeah, my job,” I grumbled, “and my sanity. Javier, we can't keep doing this.”

“You’re right, we can’t. So give me those files.”

I looked up at him, putting down the pen I had been writing with. “I can’t give you those files. I barely have access to them, so what makes you think you can?”

He chewed his lip, staring at me while I refused to budge. “Fine. But if Escobar gets away again I’ll know who to blame.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, ‘cause I’m to blame for your incompetence.”

He narrowed his eyes, his jaw clenching so hard his lips were in a pout. I thought for a moment he looked almost adorable, but shook the thought from my head the second it entered.

“You know what? That’s fine. You sit here like a good girl behind your desk and frilly little blouse, while I put my ass on the line so you can live safely.” He stood up to his full height, looking down his nose at me. I had never felt smaller, but couldn’t avert my gaze. “Can I have the files, yes or no?”

“Fuck you, Javi.” I gritted out between my teeth.

He grumbled something under his breath that sounded like mierda, then turned on his heel and marched away.

I grabbed a scrap piece of paper from my desk and spent the next fifteen minutes scribbling on it with my pen until it ripped through the surface. It was upsetting, the way he got under my skin like no other. I had never dealt with anybody like Javier Peña.

It had been a lot tougher to deal with him since Carillo’s passing. He no longer danced around the subject as much, and got straight to the point. Or demands, I should say. His patience was thinner and it seemed as though it was getting harder for him to keep his temper at bay.

I felt bad about my comment. He had never spoken to me the way he had, even when I had frustrated him so much in the past. But I knew he was still feeling the weight of Carillo’s death. It was no secret Javi blamed himself.

I had just gotten so sick of his attitude, I couldn’t stop the words from slipping out. Of course he had called me a good girl too. I was always dressed like a school teacher instead of the usual classy outfits the secretaries had. They always looked so poised, perfect, and sexy, whereas I always felt a bit frumpy when I tried to show off a bit more of my body. So I stuck to the knee length pencil skirts with flowy, frilly blouses tucked in and buttoned all the way up.

Perhaps what bothered me most was that he was doing the one thing that most of the women in that office were accused of. Everybody knew he slept around, either with informants or the other women in the office that allowed his company. When he wasn’t partaking in those options he could be found at the whorehouse or the bar. He did everything to get what he needed, who he needed. But the second any of the women indulged in the same they were shamed by the men around them.

On my very first day I could see Javier Peña coming from a mile away. The way his jeans wrapped around his legs and ass like they were made just for his shape, and the glisten of his skin shining underneath the top three undone buttons of his shirt. The pout of his lips, the warmth of his eyes. I could feel myself drooling just watching the way he sauntered down the hall to my desk. His fingers stretched out over the paperwork on my desk in front of me as he leaned in like we were sharing a secret. The pout on his lips slipped into a smile that made me glad I was already sitting down. That smile disappeared once he realized I wasn’t going to be giving him what he wanted.

He tried the sweet approach for months, but I never budged. It frustrated him, that was apparent, but I couldn’t afford to get in trouble because of him. I had been transferred to Colombia because I was well trusted in my position at home, and didn’t need to jeopardize that reputation because of some pretty boy.

Even though he was very, very pretty.

I didn’t see him for two weeks after my comment about his incompetence. It was strange enough for me to notice, since I usually saw him every few days if not every day. I hadn’t even seen him around the office, which meant he was either away or avoiding me. I figured it was the former since I doubted I was even a speck on his radar. Sure we pissed each other off, and I usually went home imagining what it would be like to go home to him, but to him I was just a pain in the ass secretary who stood in his way.

Eventually news traveled down the pipeline that Javi had been caught up in Los Pepes, which was a complete shock to me. I never suspected he would do something like that, but I assumed that just showed I didn’t know him well enough at all.

Without his presence the office seemed duller. I found I was just moving through the days, not realizing how much I had looked forward to our little arguments before.

When Murphy announced that they got Escobar, the first person I thought of was Javi. The man who had spent all that time, all those years, just to be sent home in the final hour. My heart ached for him, but I was mostly just glad the fight was over.

The fight with Escobar, anyway.

It wasn’t long before we were assigned to the Cali Cartel case. Some of the secretaries were leaving, but a select few got to be reassigned. I wasn’t sure where I was going to be assigned, but was told that I had specifically been requested.

Imagine my surprise to find I had been requested by Javier Peña himself.

I walked into his office, expecting to find a new agent, but found those eyes pinning me in place.

“Javi?” My mouth was gaped open, and I’m sure my eyebrows were raised comically high on my forehead.

“(Y/N),” he greeted me as though it was the most normal thing in the world. “You’re early.”

“You’re the one who requested me?” I asked, still shocked. “Why are you even here? I thought you got sent home.”

He chuckled and resumed looking down at the files on his desk. “I was, then they called me back. Turns out they need someone willing to do what it takes. As for you, yes, I requested you. Turns out you’re willing to do the same.”

He looked back up and met my eyes, his lips were quirked into a slight smile.

“I figured if you could keep me away from those files that long then I’d need someone like you guarding me.”

“Guarding you?” I was so confused.

“Yes.” He stood up and walked around his desk so he was standing in front of me. Whenever I had spoken to him in the past I had been sitting at my desk with him hovering over me. This time we were face to face, and although he was still taller than me it felt nice to at least be closer to eye level. “I need somebody to make sure I’m not bothered throughout the day. I have way more responsibility and people depending on me than before, and I can’t have people thinking they can interrupt me whenever they think their bullshit is more important than mine.”

I nodded, chewing on my lip. My heart stuttered as I watched his eyes flick to my movements before moving back up my face.

“That’s funny,” I finally said, “considering it was you who used to think their bullshit was the most important.”

His smile grew into a smirk. “Exactly. Which is how I know you’ll be perfect.”

My face heated at his praise, but I turned away before he could notice. “Great. I’ll be at my desk if you need me.”

I was stationed just outside his office door, and did my best to keep people out unless he told me otherwise. Although I was slightly annoyed to not only be working with him yet again, but to be working for him, there was a strong part of me that wanted to do my best. I wanted to do well for him.

To be good for him.

Javi was right, though, he did have more riding on his shoulders. There were times where he worked throughout the night, and I would walk in the next morning to find him in the same spot as he was the evening before with the same clothes. Other times he was gone for a few days, or even weeks.

I was usually quite swamped with whatever he needed me to do, but even though I worked for him I felt like I never saw him. Javi’s voice over the phone became a comfort, because then at least I’d know he was alive and well. Or at least physically well.

“Javi, are you alright?” I asked during a phone call one afternoon.

“Yeah,” he grunted, “of course. Why wouldn’t I be?”

He hung up, leaving me wondering what he wasn’t sharing. Not that he owed me any explanation. His work was exhausting, and he was putting every part of himself into it.

He finally caught one of the brothers, and the office decided to go out to the bar to celebrate the amazing victory. Javi didn’t seem to care that he made a huge step forward in not only the case, but also his career, and told everyone to go out without him. I watched his back, forever tense, as he dragged his feet into his office with his head down. He didn’t even acknowledge me when he passed by, but I tried to ignore the hurt that radiated through my bones.

I was dismissed with just a wave of his hand, and I went home to change. It had been a while since I had gone anywhere but work and home, and I couldn’t help but feel as though I wanted more. Every time I went home at the end of the day I longed for someone to fall into.

My closet was almost embarrassing, since I mostly had workwear that was not usually appropriate for a bar. In that moment I envied the other women at the office with their working outfits that looked so easy to transform to nighttime events. There were a few girls I had become friends with, but they were much smaller than me so I wouldn’t even be able to raid their wardrobes, and I was too proud to ask for fashion advice.

I swiped through skirt after skirt after blouse until I came across a dress I had tucked away toward the back. The tags were still on, but the little black number was perfect. It was slightly small when I squeezed myself into it, but only slightly. I just wouldn’t be able to sit in it. I also had to leave one of my top buttons undone, showing off the slopes of my breasts. The hemline was a bit shorter than the pencil skirts I usually sported, but it did the trick.

The mirror reflected a woman that I nearly didn’t recognize, until my red painted lips turned up into a smile. My eyes squinted a bit at the corners, showing my true happiness to be out of the office and ready to take on the nightlife.

I was on my way to the designated bar when I felt a pang in my chest, like a tug toward a certain building. Leaning forward, I asked the cab driver if we could make a quick stop. We pulled up outside the office and I slowly made my way inside. The lights in the hallways were dimmer than usual since the other offices were unoccupied, but one doorway was still bright.

Of course he was still there.

I stood in the doorway and studied him for a moment. Javi’s white shirt was a bit wrinkled, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a few buttons undone. His tie was laying off to the side across his desk, next to his arms which led up to where his hands cradled his head. He was clearly stressed, if the ash tray of cigarettes were any indication, along with the empty bottle of whiskey next to them.

For a moment I thought about walking over to him and smoothing my hands over his shoulders. They seemed so tense they were almost up to his ears. But I knew that wouldn’t be the right move. Instead I just knocked softly on the doorframe.

He jumped a bit, looking up to see who was there. His eyes nearly bulged out of his head once he saw me, and he dragged his gaze down my body and back up to my face. I could feel my chest heating up but stayed steady on my feet. I knew what I looked like, and felt better in my skin than I had in a long time.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, both confusion and shock etched across his features.

“I should be asking you the same question,” I said. “You know we’re celebrating your accomplishment right? If you’re not going to join us, at least give yourself a bit of a break.”

He sighed and sat back in his chair, his hands clasped together on his lap. “Just because I caught one of them doesn’t mean crime stops for the night.”

I shrugged. “I know, but still. Why don’t you relax for the night and let them panic a bit?”

“I haven’t seen you wear that before,” he commented, changing the subject to keep me from pressing. To my shock, his eyes shamelessly roamed my figure once more.

He used to flirt before he gave up, back when I was just a barrier between him and whatever he wanted. But even then, he would comment on my hair, accessories, nails, but never my body. Even when he commented on my clothes it was a throwaway comment about the patterns or adornments.

The way he was following the way the fabric of my dress hugged my waist, my hips, my soft tummy, had me blushing like crazy. It wasn’t subtle by any means, and certainly not what I was used to from Javi.

“Yeah, I bought it a while ago but never had a reason to wear it.” I smoothed down imaginary wrinkles as a way to distract myself from his gaze. “Figured now was as good a time as any.”

He hummed in agreement and looked back down to the papers sprawled out on his desk. I wondered briefly what it would be like to be those papers before tamping down that train of thought. My face was already burning from his attention, I didn’t need to make it worse.

“Well, I hope you have fun tonight. You’ve been working quite hard, you deserve a break.” He still stared ahead at the papers, as if it was too difficult to look at me again.

“Javi,” I said, causing him to drag his eyes away enough to finally look me in the eye, “you should really come.”

He nodded slowly, then looked away once more. “I’ll try.”

I sighed and wished him a goodnight, hoping I would see him again before the night was through. The click of my heels echoed throughout the empty hallway as I walked away from Javi’s doorway.

Although I occupied myself with my small group of work friends at the bar, I still kept a lookout for my boss just in case he actually attempted to make an appearance. After about an hour I gave up, realizing that he wasn’t going to grace us with his presence.

I had known that in the past he would only go out with either Carillo or Murphy, that he wasn’t the celebratory type, but I had hoped things had changed.

One of my coworkers approached me. I hadn’t really talked to him other than being the middle person whenever he needed to speak to Javi, but he seemed quite nice.

“I don’t normally see you out of work,” he said. His name was James, and he was slightly taller than Javi, but didn’t have an ounce of his charm.

“That’s because I’m hardly ever out of work.” I chuckled, bringing my drink to my lips. When I first ordered it I had to struggle not to cringe at the strong taste, but after another two it was going down like water. Dangerous, but much needed.

“I’d love to see more of you,” James said, not shy in the way his eyes took in every part of me. I felt myself struggling not to shy away, so unlike the confidence I felt when Javi did the same. “You’ll have to get the boss man to give you some more time away.”

I smiled. “Yeah, like that will ever happen. You know he needs the best,” I joked.

James stepped closer, his cologne invading my senses. “Well, he needs to learn how to share.”

“Who needs to share?”

My back straightened as though someone shoved a rod through my spine. “Javi?” I asked spinning to see him standing behind me, a smile directed at me, his eyes downright murderous toward James.

“Hello, (Y/N).” Javi brought his glass of, what I assumed was whiskey to his lips, and raised his hand to my lower back. I welcomed the warmth of his skin seeping through the fabric of my dress while his eyes remained on the man in front of us.

“I didn’t think you’d be coming out,” James spoke calmly, as if he couldn’t tell the tension radiating between us. “I heard you weren’t the partying type. Well, anymore.”

Javi’s smile never wavered, but his eyes darkened enough that I noticed. “I wasn’t planning on making an appearance but somebody reminded me of how hard we’ve all been working.” He turned to look at me, his hand tightening slightly on my back. “If we don’t celebrate our successes we might as well let them win now.”

“You mean your success?” James wasn’t backing down.

“Teamwork.” Javi countered, looking back up at James. “I couldn’t have done it without my team.” His hand slipped around to my hip, pulling me into his space. James’ eyes flickered to the motion, his smile turning into a smirk.

“Wow. Looks like you’ve grown up a bit, Peña.”

“Someone had to.” His hand tightened, my chest felt on fire.

James glanced toward me, then the hand at my hip, before aiming his glare back to Javi. “Although it is comforting to see some habits haven’t changed.” He stepped back, turning to part from us, but not before throwing over his shoulder, “you two have a wonderful night!”

I didn’t have a chance to say goodbye before James was out of sight. Javi removed his hand from me and started to walk away, but not before I spun on him, ready for a fight.

“What the fuck was that?” I was shocked at Javi’s display, but mostly downright furious.

He shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“All of this,” I gestured between us, and to my hip, still feeling the warmth of his skin, “and the whole ‘someone had to’? Are you serious?”

His eyes darkened. “What are you trying to say here?”

“You have no right,” I hissed through my teeth in anger. “I may work for you but I don’t belong to you.”

“I didn’t even do anything. If you want to keep talking to James, be my guest.” He stepped closer, I could smell the whiskey on his lips. “But don’t think I’m going to stand by while that shitbag tries to pick you up.”

“Maybe I wanted him to pick me up, ever think about that?” I crossed my arms, then immediately uncrossed them when his eyes flickered to my cleavage on display.

“I did think about it, but thought you might want to know what kind of man was trying to do it.” He downed the rest of his drink then zeroed back in on me. “That man has been sleeping his way through the office and leaving a trail of broken hearts behind him. I didn’t think you’d want to be one of them.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “So he’s you?”

His lips tightened into a thin line, his jaw clenching. “Right.”

It felt like someone reached into my chest and squeezed my heart. I knew I wasn’t being fair, but I wasn’t completely wrong either.

“Javi, I’m sorry I-“

He held up his hand. “No, you’re right. I won’t be bothering you anymore, don’t worry. Have a good rest of your night.”

I didn’t bother trying to stop him as he set his empty glass at the bar and walked away. I sighed, finding myself alone, and when I looked around I noticed James was already chatting with another woman, her head thrown back in laughter. My night was ruined, so I went home.

Javi didn’t return to the office for another week. I had been told he was away looking for ways to keep Gilberto Rodriguez in prison, but he hadn’t left me a single note. He never even called me the entire time he was away. I worked away with what I had delivered to me by others, but Javier Peña never contacted me directly.

He had to return to his office eventually, but it only happened after Franklin Jurado was murdered. I knew Javi was beyond pissed and frustrated. But so was I, especially after he walked into his office without a single acknowledgment thrown my way.

I immediately stood and followed him into his office before he even had a chance to sit down.

“What do you need, (Y/N)?” He asked, still not looking my way,

“What do I need? What do I need, Javier?” My chest heaved while I tried to contain my anger. “What the fuck?”

He finally looked up, his face placid. “Unless this has to do with keeping that motherfucker locked up, then I suggest you save it for later.”

“Fine,” I grumbled, then walked out of his office, slamming the door behind me. I barely paused to grab my purse before storming out of the office, not giving a single shit who was watching my temper tantrum.

I marched myself to the nearest bar, ordering the cheapest whiskey they had. I wasn’t wanting to get drunk, just needed to dull the senses a bit. Calm the fires that licked at my heart.

Two drinks later I found myself feeling enough of the effects and bravery for what I wanted to do. I laid more than enough cash on the bar and clutched my purse to keep me steady as I walked out and in the direction of a certain apartment.

I had only been to Javi’s apartment once before, and it was only to drop off paperwork he had needed. He had barely cracked the door, not wanting to cross our work and home boundaries, which I appreciated in the moment. This time I was ready to run across those boundaries if he’d let me.

Javi never answered his door. I knocked over and over but no response. I sighed, realizing he probably hadn’t left the office. It felt as though I was doing a walk of shame as I made my way out to the street to try and flag down a cab.

The cab passed by the office and I almost asked if we could stop, but no longer felt the fight that had brought me to Javi’s apartment. Instead I just rested my head on the window and watched the lights pass by until we stopped outside my place. I trudged up the small flight of stairs and rounded the corner to find the man I had been looking for leaning against my door.

He was still in his navy suit from work, though his white dress shirt underneath was slightly wrinkled. His tie was missing which gave me room to see the expanse of tan skin exposed with his top three buttons undone.

I stopped in my tracks. “What’re you doing here?”

He shrugged as if it wasn’t a huge deal. “It’s later. I figured you still wanted to talk.”

I glared at him, his expression still not changing as if he was already bored from what I would have to say. Instead of lashing out in my hallway I pushed past him to unlock the door. I walked in leaving it open, he got to choose whether or not he crossed that boundary. Sure enough, I heard the door close with a click and the lock slid into place. I was glad he took the same safety precautions as me.

“Take a seat wherever.” I waved toward my living room before making my way into the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses and thought about it before pouring myself more whiskey. Javi would appreciate it, but I probably needed to slow down. I poured myself a glass of water instead.

I brought his alcohol and my water out to the living room and handed him the former before sitting in the chair opposite him.

“So,” he started, “what did you want to talk about? Back at the office, I mean.”

I took a deep breath in and out. “You’ve been a real jerk.”

He didn’t seem shocked whatsoever and nodded for me to keep going.

“I’ve been working my ass off for you, even though I did not like you, and you’ve been so rude. You hardly give me the time of day, and the whole James thing was fucked up.” I felt like everything I had to say was falling apart. I was spiraling, no longer fueled by the alcohol and anger running through my bloodstream just an hour earlier.

“Okay,” he said. “You done?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m done.”

He stood up, drained his glass, and placed it on the table. “Alright. Sorry for being an ass. Hope you have a good night.”

My mouth dropped open as he turned to leave. “Javi!”

He stopped but didn’t turn back to look at me.

“You can’t just leave, don’t you have anything to say?” I stood up and walked over to stand in front of him. He wouldn’t look at me.

“I don’t have anything to say. I apologized, what more do you want?”

“Javi, come on. There must be something else going on. I know you’re frustrated with work but that doesn’t explain your behaviour-“

His head snapped up, his eyes locking on mine.

“You have no idea what I’m feeling so don’t fucking act like it.”

“Then tell me! Tell me, Javi,” I begged.

He grabbed my upper arms and pushed me back toward the wall. His hand came up to the back of my head to cushion it against the hard surface, causing my breath to catch in my throat. I couldn’t look away from the heat burning in his eyes, intense and focused directly on me.

“I have seen shit that would keep you up nights. Stuff nightmares are made of. And I’m so fucking tired. Half the reason I smoke as much as I do, no matter how hard I’ve tried to quit, are to stop my hands from shaking, and the only comfort I’ve found is either in someone else’s bed or at the end of a fucking bottle.” He softened his grip on my arm. “Until I met you.”

I opened my mouth to speak but the look he gave me was enough to stop me in my tracks.

“Ever since you walked through that door you’ve been the only thing I think about. Whiskey doesn’t taste the same, smoking has lost all its effect, and I wouldn’t dream of being in any bed but yours. If only you’d have me. I know I don’t deserve you. You’re so good, you’re the hope in this world. I don’t deserve to carve out my own comfort in you.” He pushed himself even closer. I could feel the heat between our lips. “But that doesn’t stop me from wanting you. Craving you.”

He leaned in, his nose brushing against the underside of my jaw. My eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled my scent, sighing out and causing goosebumps to erupt over my skin.

“If you tell me to stop then I will, just say the word. I’ll walk away, I’ll move away if I have to. I’ll never bother you again.” His voice was raspy, a restraint pulled tight over his vocal cords. “But if you don’t stop me then I’m afraid I never will. I’m addicted to you. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it.”

“Javi,” I breathed, finally opening my eyes again to find him pulled away enough to observe my reaction. “I-“

He shook his head slightly. “Yes or no, querida. Do you want this? Do you want me as much as I want you?” His voice was a whisper, barely loud enough to hear, shared only between us like a secret though we were alone.

I nodded my head, then said, “yes, Javi. Yes.”

Kissing him was like coming home after a long day. The plush press of his lips quenched a thirst I didn’t realize was that strong within me. It was everything I wanted. Everything I needed.

His arms were strong as they held me against his body, pulling me in tighter and tighter. I couldn’t breathe, but I couldn’t stop. Our lips slotted together perfectly, he pushed and I pulled, drinking him in. I moaned into his mouth, giving him an opportunity to slide his tongue past my lips.

We pulled away gasping for air, our chests heaving together. His eyes searched mine for any sign of regret or hesitancy. He never found it. The only thing radiating from my very being was want.

“Wow,” I sighed out, “that was… wow.”

He chuckled and leaned in to peck at my lips. “It doesn’t have to stop if you don’t want it to.” His lips smudged kisses across my jaw, then down to my neck. I moaned when he reached my collarbone, licking a strip up behind my ear.

“I don’t ever want to stop,” I said, slightly out of breath.

“Good,” he growled against my skin before sinking his teeth in enough to make me groan. “Me neither.”

“I need you, Javi,” I said, my voice turning to a moan at the tail end of his name.

“I know, lo se, hermosa,” he spoke between bites along my neck. “Show me your bed, baby.”

I pulled back as much as he would let me and led him by the front of his shirt through my hallway until we got to my room. Before I could turn around to face him again he had wrapped his arms around me and pulled me against his front. His name left my lips in sighs and moans while his hands slid up my body to cup my breasts, all while his lips still continued exploring any inch of skin they could reach.

My ass pressed back against his aching cock that could be felt through his suit pants. He pulled his lips away from my neck enough to whimper in my ear as I kept grinding myself back against him. His thumbs rubbed against my nipples through the fabric of my blouse and bra, but soon enough he pulled away with a huff.

“You look so sexy in this outfit, baby, but I need to feel you,” he said, his eyes roving over my clothed figure. He reached up and flicked the frills at my collar with his fingertips, smiling gently at me.

“Thought you hated the frills.” I remembered him commenting on them several times.

He shook his head, disbelief in his eyes. “They drive me fucking crazy, keeping up that good girl image. You were always such a good girl with everyone.” He leaned in and kissed me, pulling away just enough that I could still feel his lips. “For everyone except me.”

I gasped as he bit my lower lip, tugging on it slightly. His hands started undoing the buttons on my blouse as he kept talking.

“Always so vulgar, dismissive, uncaring with me. Pushing me away, telling me no.” His lips followed the skin he uncovered as he continued to slowly unbutton my shirt. “But you can be a good girl, can’t you?”

He looked up at me, his big, brown eyes tugging at my heart. He smirked and shoved me backward onto the bed. I barely got my bearings before feeling his body following mine, caging me in. There was no way I could move as he pressed me into the mattress and continued kissing his way down my body.

“You’re going to be such a good girl for me. Aren’t you, baby?”

“Y-yes, Javi,” I moaned. “I’ll be so good for you.”

I had never planned on giving in so quickly to Javi but I melted as soon as I felt his lips on me.

“Good fucking girl,” he growled against my lower abdomen. His hands slipped down to my skirt which he peeled down my legs. “God, these thighs. They look fucking delicious.”

I went to close them, feeling too open for him, but he slapped the inside of one of them before I could. He chased the sting with a gentle kiss, then sucked a trail of marks inside my thighs up to my center. He practically ripped my panties off, bringing them to his nose and inhaling while his eyes were locked onto mine.

Lord, he was sinful. And I needed him bad.

“Javi,” I groaned, pressing my head back into the bed.

“Ask nicely, hermosa.” His hands slipped up my calves and thighs, pushing my legs apart enough for him to settle between them. He was on his knees on the floor, and my legs were over his shoulders. “I thought you were a good girl.”

“Please, Javi. Please,” I begged. I wasn’t even sure what I was asking for, pleasure forming a steady haze in my mind. All I knew was that if he didn’t touch me I was going to go crazy.

“There we go,” he said before sliding his thumb through my slit. He ran it over my clit before moving further toward my hole. “Fuck, so wet. You’re absolutely soaked for me.”

I gripped onto the blankets as his tongue swiped over my clit. His name and ‘please’ were the only words I could say or think while his head was buried between my thighs. My back arched as his tongue was relentless on my clit, his hands warm and firm holding my legs in place.

“Are you always wet like this? Or is it just for me?” He asked, pulling away enough to circle me with his middle finger. I writhed on the bed, wanting more. “You don’t have to answer that, baby, I think I already know.”

His finger slowly pushed into me, and I moaned for him. “Javi, fuck, need you, Javi.”

“Lo sé, querida, but I need you to be patient for me.” He continued to fuck me slowly with his finger, then slipped another one inside. I practically lifted off the bed when he crooked them and hit the right spot. “There we go.”

“Javi, please,” I breathed, my chest heaving. “I want to cum.”

He smirked at me, then spit directly on my clit. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at the feeling of his spit sliding between my folds.

“Filthy, baby, you’re fucking filthy. You love this, don’t you?” He dove back in, sucking my bud into his mouth while he was rubbing against the exact spot I needed.

Lightning started to shoot through my veins, and I knew I was close. Just in time for him to leave my clit. His tongue traveled down until it was fucking into me between his fingers. My chest burned as a blush spread up to my neck as I opened up for him. His nose nudged at my clit once, then twice, until it became a steady rhythm.

He pulled away. “Ride my face, baby, use your hips.” He pushed his tongue into me then pulled back out. “I won’t break, I can take it, come on. Fuck my face.”

I groaned and reached down to fist his hair between my fingers. He slipped his fingers from my cunt and wrapped his arms around my hips, pulling me down on his face. His nose pressed deliciously against my clit and his tongue continued to lick into me. I started to buck my hips, testing out the waters until he used his grip on me to encourage more movement.

It wasn’t long before I was pulling his head as close as possible and grinding my hips against him. Javi moaned against me, the vibration racing through my body. My toes started to curl as his grip tightened into steel. A thrill ran through me at the thought that there might be marks afterward, that his fingerprints would be worn into my skin as a reminder of how I felt in that moment.

My orgasm hit me like a bolt of lightning as it shot through me. “Javi, Javi, Javi,” I chanted.

He groaned and finally pulled away once I fell limp. “Holy fuck, you’re so beautiful when you cum.”

I lifted my head to look at the man still on his knees for me. His face glistened with my juices, and my mouth watered at the thought of tasting myself on his lips. A blush continued to creep up onto my cheeks as I took in his disheveled appearance. He was still wearing his suit, which was extremely rumpled, and reminded me that I was still in my blouse and bra.

He leaned forward and kissed me, before he started to slide my shirt off my shoulders, then moved his hands to the straps of my bra. It was almost strange how delicate he was after the strength he showed while holding me to his face, but he was gentle as he slid my straps down my arms. One of his hands went up my back to the clasp, and he undid it with a simple motion. I gasped as he smirked at me while pulling the fabric off my chest.

I was always very conscious of my breast size. They were considerably larger from a young age, and something I had always tried to hide. The first time I hadn’t was that night at the bar. I thought about shying away from Javi as he uncovered them, but the look in his eyes made me freeze. His pupils almost completely engulfed the deep brown, and they were fixated on my fully exposed body.

“Holy fuck, hermosa,” he growled, reaching up to cup both breasts in his warm palms. “I knew you were beautiful, but seeing you like this? Unbelievable.”

His thumbs smoothed over my nipples, making me moan. The warmth of his mouth pressed on my sternum, then moved to my right breast.

“Javi,” I sighed, one of my hands coming up to the back of his head. His hair was still ruffled from when my hands were in it before, and he moaned when I gave a gentle tug to the curls at his nape.

He licked over my nipple, making my body jerk. “What do you need, baby?”

“Clothes, off, please,” I panted as he absolutely tortured my nipples with his teeth and tongue. “Need to see you.”

He pulled back, locking me in place with just a look. Slowly he started to slide his suit jacket off, maintaining eye contact even when he started undoing the rest of the buttons on his shirt. My skin vibrated with a restless want, my fingers itched to reach out and touch the tan planes of his stomach that he revealed to me. I was practically salivating by the time he dropped his shirt to the floor. His fingers moved to the button of his pants but I reached out to stop him.

“Wait,” I said. “Let me. Please.”

He smiled and dropped one of his hands, the other coming up to smooth the hair out of my face. “Okay, baby. You go ahead.”

I continued on, beaming up at him, trying my hardest to be sexy but the euphoria running through my limbs made it impossible. My fingers were trembling at the thought of what I was doing, but I pressed on, determined not to let him see how nervous I was. A firm grip on the underside of my jaw caused me to pause.

Javi lifted my face so I could see his. “(Y/N). We don’t have to keep going. We can stop right here if you want.”

I shook my head as much as I could in his hold. “I don’t want to stop. Just nervous is all.”

He nodded. “Take your time, I’m in no rush as long as I’m with you.”

His words caused my smile to grow almost too large for my face. I could tell he meant it, his smile matching mine even through the dark look in his eyes. Even if I couldn’t feel the heat radiating from his body, and the hardness just on the other side of his pants, I would know how turned on he was.

I popped the button on his pants and slowly dragged the zipper down. “Such a good girl,” he cooed above me, keeping me going.

The dusting of hair leading down his pants was soft against the back of my fingers as I revealed more and more skin. Where I thought his underwear should begin was bare, and when I started to pull the fabric down I was met with the thick base of his cock.

I glanced up and his hand reached down and cupped my jaw, his thumb smoothing over my bottom lip and dragging it down until it popped back up. I felt like I was barely breathing as I refocused on the task at hand and pulled his pants the rest of the way down.

His cock was smooth as velvet and heavy in my hand. I heard him inhale sharply as I started to drag my hand slowly toward his tip then back down to the base. I lowered my head until my lips were perched at the slit, and poked my tongue out to catch the bead of precum that had gathered there. He hissed through his teeth as I hummed at the taste of him.

“Fuck, baby, stop teasing,” he grunted, reaching his hand to the back of my head. I waited for him to pull me closer to his length but he never did.

I parted my lips and slid the head of his cock into my mouth further and further until I could feel the weight of him settle on my tongue. The taste of him was heady, and flooded my senses. Salt, skin, warmth, and him.

Before I could continue pushing myself further, his hand came around to my throat and wrapped around firmly. He pressed back and I had no choice but to pull myself off his cock, and continued to follow his grip until he had me pinned on the bed. His hand squeezed once around my neck, enough for me to feel lightheaded for a moment, and then he pulled away.

Javi slowly tugged at his cock, now throbbing and fully hard, while he watched me. My mouth was still agape and my chest rose and fell steadily.

“I’m sorry, hermosa, but I need to fuck you.”

I couldn’t speak, too stunned at the ghost of his grip on my neck. I had never had somebody do that, but the way he had wrapped his hand around my throat caused a steady pulse to erupt between my legs. I wanted his hands back on me, wherever he wanted to put them.

He kicked off his pants and socks, then climbed on the bed next to me. I pushed myself up until I was laying on my back toward the top of my bed, my head on a pillow. Javi watched with his mouth in the shape of an ‘O’, trailing his eyes up my legs, my stomach, my chest, then landing on my face.

He moved so he was on his knees between mine, and brought his fist down to his cock once more. I watched, mesmerized by the sight of the wet head of his cock disappearing in his large fist, as he lazily stroked himself.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded, his voice soft but firm.

I obeyed immediately, bringing my hand down between my legs and circling my clit with my middle finger.

“Fuck,” he groaned, “you look so good. You’re doing so good for me, baby, so good. Fuck.”

“Javi,” I whimpered for him. “I need you. Please, I need you so bad.”

I was absolutely aching for him, electricity lighting up my nerves while he watched me pleasure myself all for him. I gasped at the feeling of his cock sliding between my folds and looked to see him thrusting his hips against me. He held firm onto the base of his cock, directing it to nudge against my entrance before sliding it up to my clit instead, over and over and over.

“Beg,” he said. He didn’t ask, he spoke calmly as if he wasn’t torturing me.

“What?” I asked, unsure that I even heard him right.

“I said,” he slapped his cock against my clit, making my entire body jolt on the bed, “beg.”

I thought about what that meant for him. After years of begging me for something as simple as basic files, and after years of me telling him no, he now had me in the palm of his hand. For a second I thought about saying no, then he slapped his cock down again. Tears sprang to the corners of my eyes at the sensitivity, and I gasped when he pressed himself at my entrance.

“Please,” I whispered, “please, Javi. I need you, I need your cock inside me. Please fuck me.”

He sighed, pulling back. “You’re lucky my patience has run out. Next time you’ll have to do better.”

The thought of ‘next time’ raced through my mind, but that was cut short when he started steadily pushing in. The stretch of him caused my head to fall back into the pillow and a guttural moan was ripped from deep within my chest.

He stilled when he was settled all the way, and I wiggled my hips to feel more of him. He leant down and braced one hand on the bed next to my head, while the other gripped onto my outer thigh.

“Want to be gentle with you,” he said, his words coming out tight. “Want you to feel good.”

“Don’t. Don’t be gentle, please.” I panted underneath him, sweat starting to prickle at my skin. “Want to feel it, I want to feel all of you, Javi. Don’t hold back.”

He pulled out abruptly, and I whined at the loss of him. “I need you on top,” he said, helping me move so he could take my place on the bed. His hands guided me so I was straddling him. “You want to be good for me, right?”

I nodded, feeling my nerves creep up. He could see all of me, and I would be the one in control.

“Then fuck me like a good girl.”

He pulled my hips down into his length, and I threw my head back as he sunk further and further in. Once I was fully seated my entire body shuddered. His lips were parted with his tongue sliding out to wet them as he looked at me like I was his next meal.

“Look at you, baby, mierda,” his voice somehow came out incredibly sweet and syrupy, even though I could feel every ridge of his cock against my walls. “Ride my cock, that’s it, ride me like I’m yours, I’m all yours, baby, all yours.”

The only sound I could make was a squeaky, high pitched moan as my legs burned from bouncing on him. My hands were perched on his chest while his traveled up my body to grasp my tits. He held me firm and I used the opportunity to switch up what I was doing.

“Oh, Javi,” my voice came out lower than expected once I started to grind myself against his pelvis. His name continued to pour from my lips, getting more and more breathy until I was just shaping my lips around the letters.

“That’s it, good girl,” he continued his praise, which made me grind down even harder. “Such a good fucking girl.”

My orgasm approached steadily, less of a punch to the gut as the last one, and my thighs tightened around his torso. I continued to grind myself back and forth, my toes curling, his words and moans spurring me on. I reached up to one of his hands and pulled it off my breast, leading it up to grip around my throat. Finally I gasped out his name as my pleasure pulled me under, squeezing the air out of me until I slumped down over him.

“Oh fuck, such a dirty girl, cumming with my hand around your throat,” he growled.

He barely gave me time to recover, and pulled my upper body closer so he could bend his legs. “Stay still,” he grunted before pounding into me so mercilessly the only thing I could do was hang on to him.

My teeth latched onto his collarbone, and my hands scrambled until they found purchase on his shoulders. He was grunting and gasping while pushing himself in and out of me, my cunt deliciously trying to grip him while I sobbed from oversensitivity.

Javi chanted my name over and over while I continued to bite down on his neck. His hands reached down, one wrapping around my lower body to press me down onto him further, while the other gripped my ass. His body jolted, messing up his rhythm, and he held me even closer to him. I felt so incredibly full as his grip of steel held me firmly in place. His cock pulsed inside me before his hot cum started filling me up.

“Baby,” he whined against my temple, his voice gravelly and torn. “Baby, baby, baby.”

Eventually his body melted, his cock softening inside me. We made no effort to move, and stayed still just breathing together.

“I am never letting you go,” he murmured, his lips still pressed to my hairline above my ear. “You hear me? Never. You’re stuck with me now.”

I chuckled, then gasped when I felt his cock stir. “Sounds good to me.”

He helped me roll over so I was on my side, and he went to find a warm cloth to clean us up. I could feel his cum steadily leaking out of me, but was still a bit sad when he wiped it away. It helped when I saw the way he watched it drip out of me first, almost like he didn’t want it to end either.

We slept in each other's arms that night, and when I awoke to find my face still buried in his chest I couldn’t help but smile. He slowly woke up not long after me, and we laid in bed kissing each other slowly. Our tongues moved lazily together with our soft moans waking us up more and more. He pulled away and I reached for him.

“I can’t, we have to go to work.” He chuckled while gathering his clothes.

I groaned and rolled onto my back so I could watch him. He got dressed while I wished he would do the opposite.

“Can’t we just call in sick?” I mumbled, sleep still thick in my throat.

“Yeah, cause that won’t look suspicious.” He buttoned up his shirt, and started to roll the sleeves up his forearms a bit. “Bad enough I have to walk in there with the same clothes as yesterday.”

I smirked, and got up to get dressed. My smirk turned into a full blown smile, and it didn’t leave when we got into his car together, or when we walked into the office side by side with his hand on my lower back, and not when I sat at my desk.

And it certainly didn’t leave as I watched him continue on into his office with the top three buttons of his shirt still undone, showing off the purpling bruise on his collarbone.

[doumadono]

hey I hate to bother you but I have an emergency request. Could you write a Bakugou x Reader short where he talks the reader through some big decisions regarding the reader’s possible career path where they’re having to chose between going off and having a 9-5 job or going to continue their family farm? I’m about to graduate in the next year and my parents have been shaming me for wanting to help restart our family farm while I’m off in college.

( we had to sell most of our animals after bad droughts five years back to back, so it’s been incredibly bare as of recent and I’m going to college for Agriculture anyways, so in my mind everything makes sense).

I don’t necessarily want a big fancy job, and honestly nothing makes me happier than working animals and it’s just been hard on me to try and please my parents while also still trying to go out and do what I want.

Harvest of choices - Bakugo x Reader

A/N: please stay true to your goals, and trust that with your dedication and education, you can make a significant impact!

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2

The city skyline stretched out before you, a dazzling array of lights and towering buildings that promised endless possibilities. The air was crisp, a stark contrast to the earthy, familiar scent of the farm you had grown up on.

You stood on the balcony of your temporary apartment located in Musutafu, clutching the job offer letter in your hands. This could be your future - a stable 9-to-5 job in a reputable company, the kind of career you had always dreamed of. But the thought of leaving the farm, your family, and everything you had known was a heavy weight on your shoulders.

Your phone buzzed, breaking your contemplation.

The screen lit up with a message from Katsuki Bakugo: "I'm outside. Let me in."

You sighed. Bakugo was never one to mince words, and you knew he would force you to confront the decision you had been avoiding.

Opening the door, you were greeted by his intense, crimson gaze, eyes blazing with the determination you had come to rely on. “Took you long enough,” he grumbled, stepping inside and closing the door behind him. “What’s going on with you? You've been super off for a few past days, nerd.”

You held up the letter, the official seal of the company catching the light. “I got the job offer. They want me to start next month.”

Bakugo’s eyes flicked to the letter, then back to you. “And you’re freaking out because…?”

“It’s not that simple, Katsuki!” You grunted, your voice trembling slightly. “Taking this job means leaving the farm, leaving my family and everything I am familiar with behind... They need me there, and I don’t know if I can just abandon them.”

He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall with a stern expression after he entered your apartment. “So, you’re stuck between the fancy city job and staying on the farm. Let’s break it down.”

He motioned for you to sit on the couch, and you obliged, grateful for his no-nonsense approach.

Bakugou took a seat next to you. “First off, this city job. What’s so great about it?”

You took a deep breath. “It’s a stable career, good pay, and I’d get to use my degree. It’s something new, a chance to grow and prove myself in a different environment.”

Bakugo nodded. “Sounds solid. Now, what about the farm? What’s it mean to you?”

“It’s home,” you replied softly. “It’s where I grew up, where I learned the value of hard work and family. It’s a part of me, and I don’t want to let my family down. They’ve sacrificed so much to keep this place running.”

Bakugo’s expression softened slightly, though his gaze remained intense as he ran his calloused hand through his messy hair. “Alright, so you’ve got strong ties to the farm. But what’s really stopping you from making a decision?”

You sighed, running a hand through your hair. “I’m afraid of making the wrong choice. If I leave, what if the farm fails? And if I stay, what if I’m giving up a chance to do something more with my life?”

Bakugo placed a hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing you there with his thumb. “Listen, you’re not gonna know for sure if you’re making the right choice until you make it. That’s just how life is. But here’s the thing: you’re strong, and you’ve got a good head on your shoulders. You’re not the type to let things fall apart, no matter which path you choose.”

His words, though blunt, held a truth that resonated with you.

“But what if I fail?” You whined, shaking your head.

“You won’t,” he said confidently. “And even if things get tough, you’ll figure it out. You’ve got people who care about you, who will support you no matter what. And if anyone gives you trouble, I’ll blast ‘em to pieces.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that, the tension in your chest easing just a bit. “Thanks, Kats. That actually helps.”

He smirked, his usual cocky demeanor shining through. “Damn right it does. Now, let’s talk strategy. If you take the city job, how can you make sure the farm’s in good hands?”

“Well, I could hire someone to help out, maybe even a manager. I could also come back on weekends to check on things and help out where I can.”

“Sounds like a plan. And if you stay on the farm, what’s your strategy for making it more successful?”

“I could look into new farming techniques, maybe diversify our crops or start a small agritourism business. There are a lot of possibilities if I really put my mind to it.”

Bakugo nodded approvingly. “There you go. Either way, you’ve got options and a plan. You’re not going into this blind.”

You felt a surge of determination, the fog of uncertainty beginning to clear. “You’re right. I just need to commit and give it my all, no matter what I choose.”

“Exactly,” Bakugo agreed, his voice steady and reassuring. “And remember, you’re not alone in this. I’ve got your back, and so does everyone else who cares about ya. So stop doubting yourself and make the damn decision.”

With those words, you felt a renewed sense of confidence. “Thanks,” you chuckled softly, leaning forward and giving him a hug. “I needed that. Thank you for always having my back."

He hugged you back, his grip strong. “Whether it’s the farm or the city, you’re gonna kick ass. I am sure about that.”