#it might just be that joey gives off tall guy energy

[rockrosethistle]

I'm not saying that Jon Matteson gives off short guy energy but I am saying that it was a shock to me when I found out that he and Joey Richter are the exact same height

[babymetaldoll]

Danger Days - Chapter fourteen: "Love, hate, love"

Word count: 8,8K

Summary: The band is decided to take care of Joey, and for once, she is ok with that. Gerard is trying to find a way to get closer to her while Matthew... gets drunk again.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, cursing, cheating, angst, a lot of crying.

A/N: I want a friend like Mikey in my life. Do you guys think Joey will forgive Matthew? Would you do it? also, I love how honest Frank is with Joey. Gerard really hates him at this point hehehe.

Not my gif, and all this shit is fiction.

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen | Chapter sixteen | Chapter seventeen | Chapter eighteen | Chapter nineteen | Chapter twenty | Chapter twenty one | Chapter twenty-two | Chapter twenty-three | Chapter twenty-four |

::: Valencia, March 11th, 2011 :::

Joey's eyes were wide opened as she laid on her bed. She hadn't slept at all. Mikey was snoring next to her. He had stayed over to take care of her after everybody left. But he fell asleep, and the girl stayed up the whole night, not able to move or to do anything but to stare at the heart locket on her bedside table. It felt like bullshit to her now. What seemed to be so romantic was now nothing but a pile of lies.

Memories kept coming to her head. All of the times together with Matthew, their whole happiness. All the days they spent working on the house he had bought for them, and all the nights they sat in their new back yard to look at the stars, drink some wine and sleep in an inflatable mattress they had put in their bedroom. But what she remembered the most was the day they met. The day their whole story together had started, and how now Joey wished to go back in time and change it all. Ignore him, never talking to him, not even being in that studio that day. Anything that might keep her from the pain she was feeling now.

She had reached the studio early that morning. She had a meeting with a band at ten to record a demo. They needed a studio drummer, and Billy, the producer, contacted her. She had learned the songs; there were just three on the setlist. That shouldn't take more than three days in the whole process, including production.

Joey went through her warm-up and stretching before Billy walked in with two cups of coffee.

- "Thank you."

- "You are gonna need it,"- he said and cut her a short smile- "As far as I can tell, these guys are hyper"- the girl smiled and nodded.

- "Noted, hyper kids."

The drummer already had a lot of practice recording with random bands and some pretty known bands too. Yet, she wasn't ready for the tornado of energy that was about to go through the door that day.

The band was pretty funny and easy-going. Their music wasn't really in Joey's favorite playlist, but she was professional enough to give her best no matter what. Their friend, though, that guy was driving her insane. This very tall thin guy with light brown hair kept jumping with every song they played. He was sugar rushed or in coke. There was no way anyone would be that energetic on his own. And he had an opinion for every part of every song. Their friends loved him, it was clear, that's why they brought him along, but Joey was trying to do her work.

- "Hey,"- he said to her at the end of the session. He hadn't talked to her in the whole day- "That was pretty cool what you did back there."

- "Thanks"- she simply answered and looked for her backpack.

- "I mean, you played amazing, but the way you managed not to kill me through the whole day, though it was clear I was driving you insane, that was outstanding"- and the girl chuckled, she hated it 'cos she didn't want to, but that had been funny indeed.

- "It took a lot of will and mental strength, I must confess, you were pretty annoying,"- she answered with a snarky smile.

- "I'm sorry in advance for the next three or four days then"- the girl sighed and nodded.

- "Thanks, I guess."

- "Hey, can I try to make it up to you?"

- "By not to eat anything with sugar or take any coffee before coming tomorrow? Because that would be awesome"- and Matthew laughed. An honest big, and sincere laugher.

- "No, I was going to ask you if you wanted to get a coffee now with me..."

- "How much coffee do you have during the day?"- the drummer asked, raising an eyebrow.

- "A lot"- he simply answered- "So, what do you say? I promise I won't be annoying, or at least just the decent amount of annoying to be tolerable."

Joey didn't know what to reply. It had been ages since anyone had asked her out, and that guy was breathtakingly hot. Was it a prank? Why would he want to go out with her?

- "How are you planning not to be annoying?"- she asked and narrowed her eyes.

- "You can pinch me every time I get annoying,"- Gubler grinned, looking pretty excited to go out with her- "I know you want to pinch me."

Joey smiled and kept her eyes on his. He gave her the most adorable puppy eyes, and not even thinking about it, she accepted.

And that was the first of a thousand coffees they shared in almost a year together. They had even talked about getting married around the same date they had started dating. But now, none of that mattered anymore.

- "Mother fucker"- she whispered and slowly got out of bed. Mikey was still asleep. She wondered around the room, not knowing what to do. She went through all the things the guys had left upon a dresser: chocolate bars, filled chocolate, M&M, fun-size Snickers, all of her favorites candies. Frank's whiskey bottle, even a Pride and Prejudice Bluray.

- "You guys are awesome,"- she whispered and grabbed a bunch of candy. She looked through her things as she ate. It felt nothing was hers anymore. It felt that wasn't her life or her clothing. Not even her mind. She was out of herself. Her phone was nowhere to be seen. Probably Mikey had it hidden, just like she had done for him when he broke up with his wife. Now the tables had turned. And it felt weird. Wrong. Bad.

Joey had a knot in her stomach as she kept eating Snicker after Snicker. Still, she couldn't stop. She didn't want to stop. She found Matthew's shirts among her clothes, and her body shivered at the smell of his perfume still in the fabric. She could almost see his face, hear his voice, feel his hands on her skin. The same hands that had cheated.

Tears started falling right away. Still, she couldn't stop smelling the shirt. She couldn't stop thinking about him, about his face, his kisses, everything. But yet, she was so mad, so sad, so confused. Her stomach started aching, and the girl started retching. She ran to the bathroom and puked the few candies she had eaten. That was all that was left in her stomach.

- "Bug, hey..."- Mikey appeared running and kneeled next to her.

- "I'm ok, I just... I'm still..."- the girl sighed and wiped off the tears from her face, flushing. Mikey reached the mouthwash for her- "Thank you"- Joey clumsy stood up and spat in the sink.

- "Did you get any sleep?"

- "Not really"- the honesty of her answer surprised him. He was ready to deal with a girl in denial of her state. Instead, somehow, she just answered the truth. He decided to take another shot.

- "Are you hungry?"

- "Of course not. I just puked."

- "What do you wanna do today?"

- "Stay in here, in my pajamas, and watch shitty tv. How is your schedule for today? What do you have to do?"

- "Stay here in my pajama watching shitty tv with you,"- she cut him a sweet smile as she crawled into bed again.

- "You don't have to do that, Mikey. You have to work."

- "I know I don't have to, I want to do it for you"- he made a pause, grabbed the phone, and called room service.

- "Thank you,"- she whispered and heard him asking for two breakfasts.

- "Besides,"- Mikey added, after hanging up and getting into bed with her- "It's not like I have to show up and answer questions I've answered a million times before. That's why Gerard's the lead singer. He loves the attention."

Joey smiled and hugged Mikey, resting her head on his chest as he surfed channels.

- "Yeah, he is a little diva sometimes."

- "A little? Sometimes?"- Mikey chuckled- "Oh Bug, you have no idea..."

Gerard was walking on his own after the first interview. He asked for a few minutes to get something, and Worm came along to make sure he made it alive.

- "Dude, help, what can I give Joey?"

- "Is her birthday again or something?"

- "No, she broke up with Gubler, and I need something that might cheer her up."

- "Fuck! How is she?"

- "Locked in her room... what can I give her?"

- "Chocolates."- Worm answered right away.

- "Mikey got her a million of her favorites."

- "Booze."

- "Frank got her favorite whiskey."

- "Shit... movies to kill time?"- the man looked at Gerard and nodded- "So Ray got her movies?"

- "They had like a "break up kit" in their fucking bags or something. They know what to do, what to say to her, how to comfort her. And I ended up looking at her from a distance like... awkward and out of place."- Gerard was opening himself up at his friend.

- "Well, think of something that might help her use her time and mind to refocus her into something other than the breakup. Maybe a book"- Gerard nodded and kept looking at the window glazes. Instinctively he stood outside a stationery shop. He thought about it as he looked inside. To draw was an excellent way to kill time. Would she like that?

- "Why not?"- he said and walked in. After a few minutes, he stepped out with not two but three bags filled with art supplies.

- "Did you leave anything left in the store?"- Frank asked when he saw his friend carrying so many notebooks and pencils, you could think he was starting a store of his own. The two of them, plus Ray, got into the van to go to their following interview.

- "Funny. I just got Joey a few things to help her think of something else."

- "Cool man, good idea"- Ray smiled and took a look inside- "I just checked with Mikey. They were watching a movie."

- "How is she?"- Gerard asked as the van traveled through Valencia.

- "She didn't sleep, she hasn't eaten, Mikey was fighting to get her to eat some cereal... she was crying and puking when he woke up."

Gerard's heart ached in his chest as he heard Ray's words. He needed to find a way to make her feel better. But how? How if he never got to talk to her?

- "Any news from the asshole?"- Gerard asked, and Frank nodded.

- "Mikey has her phone off, so no one knows anything about him."

- "Do you think he is gonna show up?"- the singer asked, and both Ray and Frank looked at each other.

- "I think so,"- Toro said- "He is in love with her after all."

- "After all?"- Iero turned to him and frowned- "The fucker broke her heart! I don't want him near my little Bug in a thousand years."

Gerard wanted to hit Frank after calling her "his little Bug."

- "What the fuck is his problem? She ain't his. She is mine."

- "Frank, we are her friends, and we have to support her, but if she ever decides to get back with him again, even when we both know that's nearly impossible, we have to respect her. Ok?"- Ray was very rational about it, mostly 'cos he had lived it with other friends before- "So if he gets here, we can't do anything."

- "What do you mean "we can't do anything"?"- Frank frowned right away, frustrated- "I'm not gonna let that asshole near her."

- "Me neither, man"- Gerard adds- "And I can't believe you are saying this amount of shit after how she was yesterday."

- "It's called experience, Gerard. So remember, this whole shit ain't about how mad we are with Gubler, but about how much we want our friend to be happy, no matter what!"

Ray used his "dad" voice, and his friends couldn't argue with that. That was Raymond Toro's superpower: Super Dad.

Matthew looked at his mom and sighed. He still had three more days of shooting, and he was about to quit. Gubler barely had the strength to get out of bed that morning. He hadn't eaten. He looked like shit. He didn't want to be in the movie anymore. He gave a fuck about everything. So his mother came along to work with him and sat closely, reading a book, trying to comfort him in any way. Yes, that's how much Matthew loved his mother. And he cared shit if anyone made fun of him.

- "I can't do this, mom,"- he said as he walked to her by the end of a scene, he had some time to wait for things to be ready at the following location- "I mean, what the fuck am I doing here? I have to go to her! I have to tell her that I'm sorry"- he grabbed his phone and dialed- "Still off... Yami, please listen to me. I need to talk to you. This can't be it. I need you to listen to me."

- "Voicemail full"- a computer voice warned and finished the call.

- "Shit! Shit! Shit!"- the young man hit the wall next to him a couple of times as his face turned red in anger and desperation.

- "Matthew, please calm down, you are gonna go, but you need to be calm when you meet her. You have to put yourself together first. What are you going to tell her? How are you going to approach her?"- he sighed and walked around in front of his mother.

- "I just need to talk to her now!"- he whispered, pouting. He had never needed anyone as much as he needed Joey at that moment.

- "She has to make her process too. If you run to her now, you are both going to be still hyperventilated with what happened, you are going to be irrational, you know you will, and she is going to be still so hurt and mad she won't think straight"- Matthew sighed and looked at the ground- "Let the things cool down for a few days."

- "I still need to talk to her. I have to call her."

- "Just make sure you don't sound like a madman when you get to talk to her, ok?"

- "Do I sound like a madman now?"- his mother smiled at held his chin for a second

- "As I had never heard you before... you are in love, baby, it's ok to be a madman... just... try to keep a mind straight when it comes to talking to her, don't scare her away."

Matthew nodded and sighed. His mother's words made sense, but how to calm himself down when he felt he was dying inside? He grabbed his phone and dialed. Still off.

- "Can you come over tonight?"- he wrote and sent the text to Paget, his best friend.

- "Sure, is everything ok?"

- "Tell you tonight."

The band reached Joey's room at lunchtime. They brought pizza and beer, but she didn't want either. They talked to her about their day, the interviews, and Gerard gave her his present. That was the one thing Joey was excited about. She loved drawing and coloring, though she sucked at it.

- "Thank you, Gerard!"- she said and cut him a shy smile- "I wanted to get some of these things for a while and never did"- and the singer smiled proudly. He had finally done one thing right.

- "Hey, if you want, I can teach you a few things so you can start your comic,"- he said and sat next to her.

- "Thanks..."- she nodded but didn't look into the idea. Gerard was probably pushing too hard. But he had gotten so excited with her reaction he thought it was the solution to the whole situation. Nothing was farther from the truth.

- "Come on, Bug, we brought your favorite pizza,"- Frank said and sat next to her- "It has all the bacon in Spain."

- "I'm not hungry,"- she whispered and didn't take her eyes from the art supplies.

- "You've barely eaten,"- Mikey said and held her hand, looking at her so worried, it made Joey feel guilty for having her friend like that. It wasn't fair.

- "Bróðir, I am ok. I ate that cereal you gave me."

- "You threw it up twenty minutes later"- she closed her eyes and sighed- "Do you always throw up when you are upset?"- and she nodded. She didn't want to say a word about it. When Joey was a kid, she had many anxiety problems; she always threw up when she felt stressed. It was the way her body worked to cope with whatever it was that she was feeling.

- "Just a slice, I don't care if you vomit it,"- Frank insisted. She held it and took the tiniest bite possible in a poor attempt to make her friend happy. He just kept looking at her, forcing her to take another bite.

- "Do you have to go to work after lunch?"- she whispered and looked at her fingers playing with the bacon on her pizza.

- "Yeah, Bug. Mikey should probably go shower, but I'm gonna stay with you."

- "I'm not a baby, Ray"- the girl frowned- "I can be alone."

- "I know you can, I just feel like staying here, watch a bunch of movies... maybe sleep a little, I don't wanna go to work,"- Ray simply replied.

- "Guys, I know you are being too cute and adorable right now, and from the bottom of my heart, I am forever grateful for it, but I can stay alone. Nothing is gonna happen."

Mikey moved closer to Joey in the bed and wrapped an arm around her.

- "Sure, you are gonna be ok, but right now, we just wanna be with you... just today, ok? Tomorrow you are on your own,"- she turned and raised an eyebrow at him- "I promise."

- "Fine..."

- "Now eat"- he commanded and moved her pizza closer to her.

- "When are you going to give me my phone back?"- she asked after a while.

- "Tomorrow"- Mikey simply replied.

- "What's the plan for tomorrow, by the way?"- Joey asked and looked at her friends- "Do we have to be at the festival the whole day?"

- "No, but we have to be there early,"- Gerard said and chewed his food- "We have to do some press there, and you should come along."

- "I'm good, thanks."

- "No, really, it was great when we did that radio with you, and you've been great all along this tour, so... it would be great if you were there with us... how many times did I just say "great"?"- Joey smiled at Gerard and looked back at her pizza.

- "Like a million times, dude,"- Frank answered- "Hey, where's the veggie pizza?"

It was very heartwarming and, at the very same time, very overwhelming for Joey to feel that amount of love from her friends. She didn't see it coming. That afternoon, she and Ray watched Pride and Prejudice together, and she even allowed herself to share a few tears during those 90 minutes. Ray pretended he never noticed, and that made her happy.

She picked a bunch of other chick flicks she liked, and her friend watched them all, sleeping a little bit from time to time. Joey wasn't able to close an eye. Every time she took her mind off the movie, she thought of Matthew and started crying again.

By the time the rest of the band arrived again, with more booze, more food, and a whole bag of candies, Ray had watched Clueless, 10 things I hate about you and Ever After. He was pretty surprised to know Joey could recite from memory most of the dialogues in those movies. He never thought she could be so... girly.

- "Hey Bug!"- Mikey practically ran to her- "What are you doing?"

- "Coloring this mandala book Gerard got me"- it felt like she was a little kid and Ray was her nanny- "I don't know why people say this is relaxing; I find it pretty stressful"- Mikey looked at it and smiled.

- "Looks pretty cool to me."

- "Let me see"- Gerard said and walked to her, sitting for the very first time, next to her- "Yeah, that looks stressful"- he whispered, and she smiled- "But there was another coloring book in the bag."

- "I feel like I'm five years old,"- she whispered and looked at the singer in the eyes. He cut her a big smile and grabbed a notebook from his bag.

- "I stopped to buy ten comic books today, so that would make two of us."

- "What did you get?"- that conversation kept going. Gerard couldn't believe it.

- "I saw a few X-Men issues in Spanish, and I thought it would be a nice addition to my collection."

- "Nice..."- Frank moved closer and messed with the girl's hair.

- "I brought you a Dr. Pepper,"- he whispered and kissed her cheek.

- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "I also got you fries"- he smiled and raised an eyebrow- "You can't say no to fries..."- and damn it, Frank was right- "Cheesy fries"- he added with a low sexy voice.

- "I hate you, Frank."

- "It's time for you to face it, Iceland, you love me, you can't live without my pretty face making you laugh"- he teased her and chuckled. She kept her eyes in his and cut him a short smile.

- "Fuck you, Jersey"- she whispered but smiled and snuggled closer to him- "I love you. You are a psycho brother with the ability to make me want to punch you."

- "You are that hot second cousin I would nail,"- Frank answered with a chuckle and a low voice. Joey giggled and hit him simultaneously. Gerard froze, thinking there was no way Iero could be so honest with her about his thoughts, not making her mad.

- "Shut up. Why do you always ruin every single moment we've got together?"

- "'Cos... you laugh when I do, and I love to hear you laugh"- the girl chuckled and blushed.

- "Just give me the damn fries."

Gerard looked at his friend in shock. He had flirted, and she smiled. What the fuck was that? It was so clear everybody was closer to her than him... and she told him she loved him.

- "Damn it! You are not going anywhere tonight until you get fucking closer to this girl."

Around midnight, Ray and Frank stood up. Joey was still laid on her bed, wide awake, watching Lethal Weapon with Mikey.

- "Kids, you should go to bed"- Ray announced and put on his shoes- "We've got a big day tomorrow, and you should all rest, especially you, Bug. The dark rings under your eyes will not be covered with makeup, and we will be on tv tomorrow."

- "I'll sleep, I promise"- she whispered and nodded.

- "Are you going to be ok with these two?"- Frank asked after kissing the top of her head.

- "These two are leaving soon, so I'll be ok"- she made a pause and held Frank's hand- "Thank you, Jersey."

- "There is nothing to thank, Iceland. You are my friend, and I'll protect you no matter what."

- "Yeah... what you did yesterday when you yelled at... at him"- Joey couldn't even really say his name- "Well... thank you-" he smiled and winked.

- "Anytime"

- "I love you, dad,"- the girl said as Ray walked over. She wrapped her arms around him and felt him kiss her forehead.

- "Please, try to sleep."

- "I will ... and thank you for watching chick flicks with me."

- "Anytime you want."

- "Really? You won't get sick of the clichés?"- she smiled and wrinkled her nose.

- "No, maybe next time I'll pick a couple when we are on the bus."

- "Dad, it's a date."

- "Sleep tight."

Joey nodded and watched her friends walking out. Mikey kept his eyes on the tv as he ate a bag of M&Ms. Gerard was sitting at the other side of the bed, drawing in silence. The girl sighed and watched tv for a while, but her mind was somewhere else.

- "You should take a bath,"- Gerard whispered suddenly- "If you are going to try to sleep, maybe a hot shower can help you."

- "I thought I smelled so bad you were gonna force me"- Joey answered, not even looking at him.

- "Joey, I've lived with you for a lot of months so far, and I've been locked with you after playing shows covered in sweat"- Gee made a pause and smiled- "You've never smelled bad"- she rolled her eyes, but a slight smile appeared on her lips.

- "You've never been close enough to smell me."

- "She is right, she gets nasty"- and Mikey got smacked by a pillow after those words.

- "Fine, I'll shower..."- but before moving an inch, the girl looked at her friend and asked- "Can you give me my phone back?"

- "Tomorrow."

- "I want to call my parents"- Mikey took his phone from his pocket and gave it to her.

- "Use mine"- she huffed and dialed.

Gerard watched her walk around the room, speaking half in Spanish, half in English with her mother, and then half in Icelandic, half in English with her dad. It was a funny scene to see; he had never seen it. He had never seen a lot of her habits, and yet he had fallen in love with her. Why? How?

- "Dude, I'm talking to you"- Mikey said and threw him an empty bag of candy.

- "Sorry, what?"

- "Can you stay with her for a while? I have to go to my room and take the biggest dump on earth"- Gerard frowned, disgusted, and nodded.

- "Using the bathroom would have been enough, dude."

- "No, it wouldn't, you need to know the disgusting details of my organism..."- Mikey started gathering his things, and Joey frowned as she watched him.

- "Where are you going?"

- "To take a shit"

- "Please don't use my bathroom. You are gross. It's like there's a corpse coming out of you every time"- Joey simply says, and Gerard burst out laughing.

- "Best description ever!"

- "Here's your phone, bróðir."

- "Thank you, Bug"- he grabbed it, put on his shoes, his backpack, and hugged his friend tight- "I love you."

- "I know. I love you too."

- "I'll leave you with Gerard. Are you gonna be ok?"

- "I'll be fine,"- his older brother answered and never took his eyes from the paper, scared of looking at Joey under the circumstances. He was finally going to be alone with her. What was going to happen?

- "I was talking to her, dumbass"- Gerard flipped the bird to Mikey as Joey stayed hugged to his younger brother. He wished she could hug him like that one day. That night maybe...

- "You are the best brother on earth"- she whispered- "Now please go to your room and sleep."

- "Eat some chocolates, take a bath and fall asleep, ok?"- Joey nodded, and Mikey left the room.

Suddenly she realized it was just her and Gerard. For the first time in weeks. But her mind didn't have room to think about anything else but the pain she was feeling. She missed Matthew so much; watching Lethal Weapon was the best idea at the moment.

Gerard kept drawing in silence, and Joey watched the movie until it was over. She ate a few more Snickers and went through the pages of one of the mandala coloring books Gerard had given her.

- "Are you going to take that bath?"- he asked her. But she didn't answer. She had spaced out, staring at her hands in front of her- "Joey? Are you ok?"

- "Yes,"- she murmured and took a deep breath- "Yeah, I'm gonna shower."

- "Do you need me to run the shower for you?"- the singer asked, standing up, but the girl excused herself, moved out of the bed quickly, grabbed a clean pajama from her bag, and locked herself in the room.

Gee looked around and sighed. He knew she wasn't ok at all, so he cleaned the room a little, threw all of the empty bags of chocolates into the paper bin, called room service to take their dinner dishes away, and made the bed.

- "Hey babe"- he whispered as Lynz picked up the phone- "How are you?"

- "Good baby, you?"

- "So fucking tired"- he might have exaggerated that a little bit- "We had an eternal day today, doing a lot of press for the festival tomorrow."

- "My sweet baby, are you in the hotel?"

- "Yeah, already in bed "In Joey's bed, asshole."

- "And how's everybody?"

- "We are all exhausted. It's been forever since we've been home."

- "I know, honey, I miss you so."

- "I miss you more, baby."

Joey sat under the hot water of the shower, crying her eyes out. She held those tears for so long that day. She needed to get them out of her system when no one could see or hear her. Under the shower was good, with water running down her whole aching body.

She felt so much pain inside it seemed to be endless. She was never going to overcome it. Joey knew it. She actually thought she could die of sorrow. And her friends had been so nice to her. She felt she had to be better, so they were calmer. She didn't want to make them sick worry about her.

- "You to put out a show from the next day and start acting like you are getting over this whole deal"- she whispered to herself and whipped off her tears- "They deserve better than a broken drummer. You have to be professional, you are here to work, and you have to fucking do your best work."

But still, she looked at the ring that was still on her finger, and the tears came back. She didn't want to take it off. She wanted to hold onto the memory of the days she was happy. But it was so hard. She had been broken-hearted before, but not like that. It had never been like this. It felt like the end of her world, and she was sure she was never going to recover from it. She wouldn't be the same woman that she was before. She just didn't know how much of the old Joey was going to survive.

- "Joey, are you ok in there?"- Gerard asked from the other side of the door- "You've been in the shower for a long while."

- "Yeah, I'm coming out in a minute,"- she answered and cleared her throat- "You can go to your room if you want to, I'm ok."

- "I'm not leaving until you are tucked and asleep into that bed, Joey."

Gerard sighed and closed his eyes. He had brought this to her. She deserved him to be nice to her. Nice, he could do nice. He just had to turn his dick off, and everything was going to be ok.

Easier said than done, clearly.

Joey walked out of the shower in her pajamas, hair already dried, and night cream on her face, 'cos she had done nothing for herself in the whole day, and a part of her needed to feel a little human again.

- "You didn't have to stay,"- the girl said as soon as she saw Gerard sitting on her bed, his back resting on the headboard.

- "I didn't want to leave"- he simply answered and tapped the bed beside him- "Come here... "- she sighed and thought a few months ago she would have been shaking as jelly under those circumstances. Now it seemed Joey couldn't even think of Gerard in any way that wasn't a friend.

She crawled into the bed and looked at what he was doing. He had been working on a sketch for a long while now.

- "What are you doing?"

- "Not much, just trying to ease my mind, I think"- he answered and showed Joey his drawings- "I've been working on characters for the stories I wanna write, so I keep making sketches of random thoughts and ideas I've got for them"- Gerard opened another folder and showed Joey some more of his work- "These I've developed for a long while, but I still don't feel they are ready."

- "How do you know they are ready?"- he hesitated for a second before answering.

- "I guess they never really are. You are constantly changing little things about them with time."

- "Like songs?"

- "Yeah"- the girl looked at the drawings in silence for a few minutes. Gerard looked at her as she stared at each sheet with detention. He analyzed her eyes, her lips, and her cheeks. She was still very pale, black rings under her eyes. But yet, for him, she was gorgeous. He was dying to hold her.

- "They are pretty cool,"- she said and handed them back.

- "Hey, did you ever finish the song you were writing the other day?"

- "The other day, you mean five months ago?"- he nodded, thinking it felt it was just a few weeks ago- "Yeah, I did."

- "Can I hear it?"

- "Sure, one day you'll hear it, not today, dude. Today, I don't want anything"- he nodded and watched her sighing.

- "Another movie?"- and she nodded- "Do you wanna pick it?"

- "No... I don't care what's on the screen as long as I don't think"- Gerard grabbed the remote control as Joey kept playing with the ring on her finger- "Are you going to..."

- "I'm not talking about it,"- she answered right away.

- "Sorry..."- he muted and surfed through the pay-per-view options until he picked up "The Goonies." Joey didn't say a word. That was one of Matthew's favorite movies. But she wanted to watch it. She wanted to feel he was close. She was so mad and so in love that she didn't know what to do.

Gerard put all his art supplies in his bag and cuddled next to Joey. He did it just like Frank had done the night before: like it wasn't a big deal at all. He wrapped an arm around her neck and moved closer. She didn't do anything against that. Instead, she rested her head on his chest and sighed. Gerard felt triumphant. She was in his arms, finally. But Joey had cuddled for one reason only: it was the best position to hide the tears that started falling slowly as the movie began. She remembered clearly the first time Matthew "forced her" to watch "The Goonies." It was a Saturday. It was raining outside. They spent the whole day in bed, watching movies, making love, eating chocolate chip hotcakes, and s'mores. It was the perfect day. Now it was just a hurtful memory.

Meanwhile, back in Los Angeles, Gubler could feel the anger coming from Paget's eyes as he came clean and told her the whole story. They were at his house drinking beer and talking. Mostly Matthew was doing all the talking, while his best friend decided which was the best moment to hit him.

- "You are fucked"- Paget simply said as he kept talking. He stopped and frowned. But nothing came from his mouth- "I can't believe you did that! You are disgusting, Matthew!!"

Paget lost it for a second. She never, in all the years she had known her best friend, ever thought he could do such a thing.

- "I know"

- "I just... why did you do it?"

- "I was drunk!"

- "That's not an excuse!! You've been drunk before! And your cock hadn't ended up in your ex-girlfriend's mouth, so be honest with me and tell me what the fuck happened?"

- "I don't know! When I noticed it wasn't Joey, I stopped it all!"

- "You thought your girlfriend was sucking your cock?"

- "Yes!"

- "And why did you make out with those girls at the dancefloor?! Everybody saw you!"

- "I lost it for a second, 'cos I was scared Joey might cheat!"- Matthew murmured and looked at the floor, so ashamed of his own words.

- "And you did it 'cos you were scared she would?!"- Paget yelled and smacked his head- "What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

- "I don't know!"- the boy rubbed his hands against his face feeling the anger filling his whole body- "Don't you think I regret it?! I hate myself! I was stupid!"

- "Yes! You were fucking stupid! Do you know what it takes to get someone to love you the way she does?! Do you know how hard it is to find someone as weird as you?!"

- "I know it's hard! I know it's fucking impossible, and I know I fucked it up! But I need you to help me fix this!"

- "You could start by going to see her and beg for forgiveness!"

- "That's what I want to do, but mom said I have to give her a few days to calm down."

- "She is right, and you have to calm down too."

- "She said I sound like a mad man."

- "Madder than usual, yes"- Paget nodded, still serious- "And where is she now?"

- "Spain, she has a huge festival show tomorrow, it's gonna be televised..."

- "So you get to see her live?"- he nodded- "And after that?"

- "Germany, Denmark, Norway, Sweden, she is only staying one day at those places, she is traveling by bus, so she is going to be stuck with the band all the time. And those guys hate me."

- "Right now, I hate you too."

- "Please stop hating me and help me find a way to get to her 'cos I know they are not gonna let me."

- "They have nothing to do with this whole situation! What are you talking about?"

- "Well, they've always been very protective of her, which used to bother me a lot, until I realized they loved her like a little sister, and she is happy with that 'cos she doesn't have many friends."- Matthew was talking very fast, as the words kept coming nonstop- "Eventually, we got closer, especially with Mikey. He is like her older brother on the road, and he is so fucking nice to her for a moment, I thought he was in love with her. But it turns out he loves her as a sister, which made me happy 'cos it meant she wasn't alone in that tour."

- "To the point, Matthew."- Paget sighed, annoyed.

- "Yeah, sorry. What happened was I called her after our fight, and Frank picked up the phone and told me he is going to kill me if he ever sees me again, and threaten me to beat the shit out of me if I ever try to get near her."

- "What at asshole!"

- "I know!"

- "You completely deserved that!"

- "Paget!!"

- "You would do that for me if someone breaks my heart, so deal with it"- Gubler nodded and for a second, then chuckled.

- "A few months ago, Joey told me the same thing..."- he sighed and stayed in silence- "I miss her so much it hurts."

- "I know"

- "I need to get her back..."- his friend didn't say a word, just rubbed his arm gently and cut him a short smile.

Paget couldn't promise him he was going to get her back 'cos she knew how much it hurt being cheated on, and she had never forgiven a guy for that. And by everything Matthew had told her about Joey so far, she knew she wasn't going to do that either. But she couldn't tell him to give up either. She knew he wasn't going to.

Joey sighed. The movie was over, and she was starting to feel tired. She was afraid to sleep though, she knew she would dream with Matthew Gray, and it hurt to even think about it.

- "Ready to get some rest?"- Gerard whispered. She didn't move- "I know you are awake."

- "Are you a psychic?"- she whispered, and he just smiled.

- "I can see your reflex on the screen"- he caressed her hair softly- "Do you need anything?"

- "No... thanks."

- "Do you want me to stay over tonight?"- Gerard simply asked, making sure it sounded like no big deal, though he could hyperventilate if she ever said yes- "I wouldn't mind."

- "I think I could use some time on my own"- Joey answered and moved on the bed, sitting next to him

- "I get it..."

- "Thank you, though. Thank you for taking care of me today and for bringing me so many things."

- "Hey, don't thank me for it. I'm glad I could make you smile even a little bit"- Gerard murmured and tuck some hair behind Joey's ear softly- "I just want you to be happy. You deserve to be so happy."

She didn't move, mostly 'cos she had spaced out thinking about Matthew again. She didn't seem to have room in her head for any other thought but him.

Gerard saw this as a chance to move a little further. He kept his hand in her hair and moved it slowly down to the backside of her neck. The girl chilled and looked into his eyes. That look, it wasn't a friendly one, and she just noticed it.

- "Joey, you deserve so much better than what he did to you, and if it were for me, I would give you everything, my whole life."

- "Thank you, Gerard"- she whispered and smiled- "You are a good friend."

- "I wasn't saying that as a friend."

Way smiled and moved closer to her, his nose touching hers. She didn't move. She didn't know what to do, actually. She had always thought he was incredibly hot, but she never wanted to cheat on Matthew. But now, that didn't matter anymore.

Gerard moved a few centimeters closer, and his lips touched Joey's. Electricity ran down his back as he kissed her slowly, just to make sure she wasn't going to move away. She didn't. And slowly, she kissed him back.

His hands cupped her face carefully as Gerard increased the kiss, slipping his tongue between her lips. They tasted like chocolate, and they felt warm against his. It was blissful. It was like all the months he had to wait to feel that kiss had been completely worthy. That was the best kiss he had ever given, and his heart was rising so much, he thought it was going to escape from his chest.

Joey wasn't thinking. She wasn't at all. She just went along with the kiss 'cos it felt nice. And it also felt like payback. Like if by kissing Gerard, she was getting sweet revenge for what Matthew had done to her.

Gerard increased the kiss a little more, biting her lower lip and moving her closer to him. He wrapped an arm tight around her and kept a hand playing from her cheek to her neck slowly. Joey was enjoying this, Way was a pretty good kisser, and it was honestly a kiss she had thought about a million times. But it felt empty, like the kind of kiss you give to a random guy when you are drunk at a party. And this wasn't a random guy. This was her colleague, her married colleague.

- "Stop"- she whispered and broke the kiss.

- "What is it?"- she landed her hands on Gerard's chest and pushed him away softly.

- "This is wrong."

- "Why?"- Joey frowned as he held her hands and looked confused.

- "Well, apart from the obvious"- she said and pointed at his wedding right- "I'm at the lowest point of my life, and we work together. I can't afford to lose my job right now, so kissing one of my colleagues seems like a pretty shitty idea to me."

- "Not to me."

- "Gerard... that's your cock talking,"- Joey stood up and looked at him.

- "I've longed to kiss you for a long while"- he confessed following her and standing right in front of her- "And I've got the feeling so did you."

- "That's not the point. This it's wrong."

- "But it felt good, and you know it."

Gerard leaned to her, held her face, and pressed his lips against her, this time in a passionate kiss that made Joey feel weak on her knees. Instinctively, she wrapped her arms around his neck and felt his hands on her waist, moving her closer. So close that she could feel his erection, rubbing against her body.

- "You should go"- Joey whispered, gasping for air as she moved from his lips.

- "But I wanna stay"- she shook her head immediately.

- "You have to go, Gerard."

- "But, Sugar"- he murmured and rubbed his lips against her. She let him go slowly and looked at him, shaking her head again- "Ok..."- he grabbed his jacket and his shoes and landed a soft kiss on Joey's cheek- "Good night, sugar."

- "Bye, Gerard."

The singer walked out of that room and sighed. That had been the best kiss of his life. But Joey was right; it had been a mistake. However, it was a mistake he wanted to make ever since he first saw her. Still, he had just cheated on his wife. But that was a thought he needed to ignore at the moment. He had kissed the girl he loved. And he was in heaven.

Joey was in hell. She hated herself so much she wanted to die. She brushed her teeth over and over again, tears falling from her eyes. Her head hurt after so many days of crying. She had kissed another guy. And though Matthew had done the same to her, she still felt guilty and dirty. She was so sorry for what she had done; she knew it had been a terrible mistake. She didn't even want to face Gerard after that.

He was so eager for her, he had been holding that kiss for a long time, and he simply confessed it, like it wasn't a big deal. But it was. It meant Matthew had been right all along; Gerard had a thing on her, something that had ended up being a hot kiss. A very hot kiss. And if she hadn't stopped him, it was clear where Gerard wanted to go.

- "He had a boner for Christ Sakes!"- the girl argued, walking back to bed- "A fucking boner!"- she got under the covers, wrapping her arms around her legs, biting her lips so hard she nearly drawn blood.

Kissing someone else while still in love with Matthew didn't feel right. She didn't want to do it again. No matter how hot Gerard was. She missed her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend. How was she ever going to get over him? She knew it was impossible. You don't love someone that much and successfully take him from your heart.

It was a good thing that Mikey had her phone, 'cos she felt the urge to call Matthew at the moment. That would have been stupid, and she knew it. But still, it physically hurt to miss him so much. She needed to talk to him. But Mikey had her phone... he didn't have her computer, though.

She looked for it in her backpack and started it on right away.

- "What the fuck are you doing?"- she asked herself out loud as she stared at the screen- "You can't talk to him... you are going to cave in."

Joey brushed her hands against her face and closed the computer. But after a few minutes, she poured herself a glass of whiskey and opened it again. She had decided to check her mail, and maybe Twitter, nothing related to her boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

But her inbox was filled with emails from Matthew. At least twenty. Her stomach tightened as soon as she saw them. She took a sip of whiskey and opened the first one. It was sent the night before, probably after Frank had yelled at him and turned off her phone.

"I'm so sorry Yami, I know I was stupid and drunk, and I'll regret it for the rest of my life. But I need you to know you are the only woman I wanna spend the rest of my life with. I love you so much it hurts to think of a day without even hearing your voice."

Joey was already crying. This wasn't healthy. Why was she doing it? She needed to sleep. She needed to get her mind from Matthew. But the memory of Gerard's kisses was right there hunting her too. She poured herself another whiskey and walked around the room. Maybe she could drink herself to sleep. But, she had a huge gig the next day, and she had to be professional.

- "Fuck! I wanna die..."- she sobbed and opened the next mail.

"I know you don't want to talk to me, and I get it. I just need you to understand how much I love you and that I'm willing to do anything to fix this, anything you want, everything you ask; I'll do it, but please, please don't leave me."

- "I have to stop this..."- she took another sip of her whiskey and whipped off her tears. She walked to the phone and talked to the front desk.

- "Hello, sorry to bother you, but can you please connect me with room 1201? Thank you"- the girl waited in line for what felt like ages until she heard Mikey's half-asleep.

- "Joey, are you ok?"

- "No, I'm not ok. Can you come and sleep with me, please?"

- "I'll be right there"- Joey stayed still, eyes glued on the screen, reading over and over again the last mail she had opened.

Mikey didn't even knock. He still had her key, so he just walked into the room in boxers and shirt, shoeless and with his hair made a huge mess. Mikey didn't say a word either; he just took the computer away from her and closed it, grabbed the glass, drank what was left of her whiskey, and got Joey under the covers of the bed. She was shaking and crying quietly.

- "You are gonna be ok Bug, I swear, please try to get some sleep"- he said and held her tight, spooning her- "I'm right here, I'm going to take care of you, ok?"- she nodded and sighed- "Now close your eyes and sleep, I've got you, ok? I've got you."

Joey sniffed and sobbed a little, feeling how her brother's arms tightened around her.

- "Thank you, Mikey."

- "You did the same for me. I owe you my life at this point. I'm never going to leave you."

Back in Los Angeles, Matthew was drunk, calling and calling Joey without any result. Her phone was off, her voicemail was full. So he continued writing emails. At least he could put his heart out in a way, though he had no idea if she was ever going to read them.

Paget, next to him, tried to stop him. But it was useless. The boy wanted to write and ignored everything else.

- "Matthew, Matthew"- she said and shook her arm- "Buy the fucking plane ticket to see her!"

- "Yes!!"- he kind of shouted and took a paper from his pocket- "This is Yami's tour schedule... the movie ends in two days, I can go take a plane straight from the set... so I have to go to Oslo if I wanna catch her."

- "Nice! Bring souvenirs"- his friend smiled, trying to cheer him up

- "Deal"- the boy grabbed his credit card and booked the first flight he found to Norway- "You know it is our anniversary next 17th, if everything goes right, we could actually celebrate our first year together."

- "Please, Matthew, and I need you to listen to me"- Paget said seriously and looked into her best friend's eyes, making sure he would understand her, though he was wasted- "Please, whatever you do, don't fuck it up! ok?"

- "Yes."

- "'Cos this is going to be the only chance you'll get to talk to her and fix everything. Trust me."

Gubler nodded with widened eyes. He was drunk, tired, and devastated, but still, he got how serious and honest Paget was with him. He knew he wasn't going to get many chances to get Joey back. And maybe that was going to be the only one.

**

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[destinyc1020]

Sometimes I feel that Z is too trusting of guys. Like even if she meets a guy and sees a red flag she would still trust them and think “oh I can fix them/change them”. At least that’s what I think she did with JE because people on twitter where talking about his red flags early on and yk she lurk and still didn’t change her mind being with him (and maybe why she stayed with Trevor for so long after suspecting he is a cheater)

With Trevor, I feel like she was young and naïve, and I don't think Trevor was all bad. He cheated, and made that horrible song, but I don't think he started off that way in other words. He had to have been a fairly decent guy, otherwise I don't think Z would have ever dated him in the first place. They were good friends and fell for each other. With JE... I think we gotta cut our girl some slack. She was rebounding from a long-term serious rlshp with a guy who we now realize she wasn't truly over in the first place... Plus, she probably felt that she knew JE from set. He might not have shown a douchey side right off the bat. Even Joey King was fooled, and she dated him for at least a year! I don't think JE was all bad either. Most of these guys aren't monsters y'all lol...otherwise, these smart, level-headed, mature-minded women wouldn't have gotten with them anyway in the first place. I just think that some of them (especially JE) just must have some type of charm or maybe these women felt bad for him (some guys know how to pull on the heart strings and play the sympathy card lol), or they had things in common, and he's tall, mysterious, and Australian, etc so they may have been drawn to that.... #shrug Who knows??

JE did have red flags a mile long lol... But maybe Z just chose not to read them. Maybe she felt that these were just rumors, and that she knew him through work and probably felt she knew him better than fans online lol. I honestly don't know. 🤷 I really don't know how much she knew tbh. She might choose to ignore and not read any hurtful things online about people she cares about because it's just too much negative energy. But I feel like eventually she started to hear the rumors and/or saw the red flags herself. I just don't think we can really fault her for JE because she didn't seem to really be thinking all that clearly during that time. 😔 I don't even think she went after him. It is clear to me that he went after her after he saw those Tolivia pictures. Z and Tom broke up way before the Tolivia pictures came out. If Z wanted to get with JE, she could have gotten with him right after she and Tom split up in May (according to the Audrey Tea). But JE was still dating Cari at least up until he was about to wrap up things in SA.

It almost seemed like she saw that Tom had already "moved on" with Olivia, and so that signified that there was definitely no reconciliation on that end, so she just chose to move on herself. 🤷

Anyway....Idk why we're bringing up these old guys anyway when I'm pretty sure Z isn't giving a crap about no Trevor or Jacob Elordi lol.

[chongoblog]

ALRIGHT SO HERES MY LITTLE MINI LECTURE ON HOW TO MAKE ENCOUNTERS IN D&D OR ANY OTHER RPG MORE INTERESTING SO LISTEN UP FRICK FRACKERS

Now the first thing to note is the difficulty of the encounter! There’s a super helpful resource where you can put in player levels and monster levels to determine how difficult a fight might be that I use all the time. If you’re homebrewing monsters, then you can discern a challenge rating by finding a monster that’s somewhat similar.

Now once you have your monsters, there are a few things to keep in mind when creating your encounter.

1) The motives of the enemy. Most of the time the motive is going to be "RAWR KILL" (and that’s okay!) but if they fighting a set of monsters that perhaps received orders from a higher being, then they might be trying for something more complex than that. If they have an ulterior motive, then be sure to work that into the encounter. For instance, if they're there to get a magic gemstone, make sure the location of the gemstone is absolutely clear at all times and emphasize its importance, that way your players will have all the more motive to fight these monsters, and the actions they take can reflect other solutions to the problem at hand. Like in the gemstone example, instead of fighting they can try to take the gem for themselves, or they can fire a shot at the pedestal holding the gem and knock it off. Or another example is if they’re the hull of a ship trying to sink it from the inside, the enemy can attack the boat instead of the players and a wizard can spend his turn trying to fix the hole while the fighter’s priority is shifted to the enemy with a weapon that could more likely damage the hull.

2) Have the situation/environment complement the monster’s abilities if you want to add some challenge. If I learned anything from watching Joey Joey's Strange Escapades, it's that a lot of Stands probably wouldn't work as well as they do unless they're in specific situations. A way to give an encounter more depth is if the environment at hand cooperates with whatever makes the enemy special. Can the enemy climb up trees well? Set it in a tall forest. Are you deep inside a cramped cave? Worms would have an advantage. Are you in an open field? Don't use the worms. Does the enemy wear a gas mask? Make poison/sleeping gas a prevalent feature. (That makes two references from the SAME Realms episode what a blast)

3) The environment is your friend.  The more varied your environment is, the more complexity can come with your battle. Of course, this works both ways, as too much complexity can make the battle a cluttered mess, but something as simple as a single short wall goes a LONG way on a battlefield. And one trick I specifically remember learning from Matthew Mercer is that verticality is your friend. A bit of height, whether it be one character standing on a rock or floating in the air, can make the encounter all the more interesting. You can add any sort of environmental adjustment to make the battle more interesting, whether it be a river, a tree. I remember at one point for my irl friends I covered the ceiling with gems that, if knocked down, created a fiery explosion. Any part of the environment that can be interacted with adds to the depth of the battle, because now the players can interact with those things and find new ways to solve problems.

4) Have the environment CHANGE depending on the battle. This one doesn't have to be used as often, as it's pretty complex (especially if you're working with pencil/paper), but the fun of games come from the players' interaction with the world and its environment. And with battles, it's rare that the world just stops in its tracks (even though that’s the way it works in video games but they can’t compute every outcome). Every action, whether made by the player or by the NPC's, has repercussions either good, bad, or indifferent. Whether it's having a monster destroy a bridge, or having a player's Fire Bolt miss and burn down a small building (which the player can then push the monster into), a dynamic environment keeps the player engaged in the environment, reminds them that they can interact with the environment to their advantage (which gets them more connected to your world!), and, once again, adds depth to the encounter. This point kinda ties back into the ancient DM adage where you have to let the players do their thing. If the player decides "I'm gonna try to burn this bridge down!" then let em try it! Or if you have a plan of "oo I'm going to make the bad guy burn this bridge down" and the players do something to prevent that, you just gotta let it happen. It usually works out for the best because the players are the protagonists.

I mention "adds depth" in, like, every point. And like I said earlier on, depth isn't the metric of quality, as too much can be harmful. The point is that it's not very interesting going into a featureless room and swinging a sword at a goblin until it dies. And on the flipside if you're in a room with 5 arrows timed in different successions against three goblins, each of which contain three parts of a whole shape and if the goblins come together they unleash a powerful attack but if two of them come together they release a somewhat powerful attack, also on the floor is a 5x5 grid of panels all with the number 20 on it and every time you or a goblin steps on it, it goes down one number and when it reaches zero it creates a small creature that has the capabilities to use the last spell used in the room unless the arrow for that row of tiles has fired in the last turn, then it simply fires an arrow, and also the goblins have a goal to attack the main protagonist and use a ritual that can send some of their magical energy to the Big Bad, holy crap you’re still reading this, anyway and if the ritual begins then a shield appears around them with 30 HP and you have to destroy it in 2 turns or else the protagonist's base HP is cut in half...........

...........then you’ve made something a little bit too complex and parsing all that knowledge is going to be a mess

You want to make sure that your encounters are interesting and memorable, and simple encounters are nice for beginner characters who are just figuring things out, but adding just a hint of depth can really go a long way.

Anyway this is mostly copypasted from when I sent it to a group of friends a couple months ago, with some small changes. Hope this helps

[relaxandlaughatyourself]

Recap of Dem and Ika’s IG Live January 16, 2019. 

They gave their thoughts on the cbbus2 cast among other things.

They are in the kitchen and said they’re going to stream live from youtube but wanted to come on here first to ask some advice about it. They ask for some advice about what settings to use on the youtube live and such.

They’re not posting a youtube video today so they wanted to do a live instead to appease the youtube people too.

Someone says to name the youtube live “cooking with demika.” Ika: “You know that name has outgrown us, right babe?” Dem: “It has not, I am still quite fond of it.”

“I want the youtube people to stop coming for me and I want them to stop coming for my boyfriend. You won’t get him. Even with your real hair.” Ika says that the youtube people are trying to change her. Dem says to try new things and do a youtube live.

“Dem does the cooking here, especially when I’m sad and can’t do anything.” They say he always do breakfast. Dem says he tried a new technique to cook bacon this morning and it did not work.

Ika: “They always say in the comments ‘stop complaining, you’ll push him away.’ That’s how I got him, ha!” Dem: “Is that how you got me?”

Ika says she shouldn’t do the youtube live now because she’s feeling hateful and they’ll unsubscribe. “I’m gonna undo all your work.”

Ika: “I’m not in a very good mood.” Dem: “I know. But you’re pretty.”

Ika says that they will watch the challenge because of Josh. “People say Demetres should go on the challenge… no, he has a girlfriend, he’s staying home! You’re not allowed to go.” Josh is in the chat, and Ika says he is her favorite, her untouchable number one.

Ika tells Dem to put a book under the computer to prop it up. Dem: “A book? Like I read?!” Ika says he has a lot of real estate books.

They say they recorded a video… “but we couldn’t post it…” Dem: “Due to exterior factors.”

They try to start youtube live but it’s asking them for credentials and downloads and such. Dem says he’ll work on it tonight but it’s not gonna happen now.

Thoughts on BB

They like Natalie a lot, she was so nice. Love her. They agree.

Lolo gave them Shannon vibes, Dem wasn’t feeling her that much.

The Mooch. Ika liked him a lot, they think he’s hilarious and really likeable on and off camera. Dem was very impressed with him, “he has 200 million bucks! He was a really nice guy and seems open minded.” They liked him, said he’s really funny. Surprised they liked him.

Joey. Dem says he didn’t like him. “I didn’t like Joey. I didn’t like Joey’s attitude.” Ika says it came off like he didn’t want to be there.

Dina. She was nervous. She was cool though, may be fun to watch. “Dina gave me someone who’s going to be crying vibes. A little sensitive.”

Ryan. They liked him, he’s goofy and funny. He comes off naïve and innocent but funny. Dem says he reminds him of him, Ika says not really. Ika wants Ryan to go really far, she liked him a lot.

Jonathan. He was a lot, Dem starts laughing. She says he came in to the interview late and he gave her 100 percent, she appreciated that. He brought his stylist and makeup person and he had them touch up Ika’s makeup.

Tamar. She was fun and funny, will give good DRs. Excited about going on the show. Dem says she was one of the few that were fans.

Kandi. She was nice, interested in how to get far and what she should do to stay around.

Tom Green. Dem told her beforehand how funny he was. “I feel like Tom Green is funny for white people.” He’s stupid funny, Dem likes that stuff. He might last. He’s Dem’s pick to win, not that he wants him to win, but he thinks he may pull it off. He was very interested in the strategic part of the game. She likes the celebs that have an appreciation for the game.

Ricky. She doesn’t know what to say… quiet, laid back, hard to read. He said he would be the most intelligent person in the house, Dem: “he thinks he’s smart.”

Kato. Seemed like he wants to get to know him without the OJ Simpson trial. Dem says he was a lot and brought a lot of energy.

Dem was thinking that Kandi would bring more energy and personality.

Her thoughts for who will go home first: She hopes Joey goes home first because he doesn’t seem to want to be there. Dem agrees.

Who she wants to see get into an alliance: She wants someone to be loyal to Natalie. They love her.

She thinks Lolo will be a little extreme, she’s competitive and can’t hide it. Dem said he could tell how competitive she was just sitting there.

Dina will either go far or will annoy people and they’ll send her home.

Dem is scared they’re going to be threatened by Ryan. Ika doesn’t think that’s gonna be an issue, she thinks he’ll be more of a Metta, Dem thinks more of a Chuck Liddell, as far as how they’re viewed in the house.

Tom Green has a girlfriend, so no showmance for him. Eva is married. They can’t forsee any showmances.

Ika says that the people she don’t like and those she does like go far.

She won’t be sad if Ricky goes home first. Dem is curious to see him on the block, says he knows how mad he got and he wants to see if Ricky will too.

Ika says that Dem throws temper tantums, Dem says no, Ika: “What you didn’t see on the show is that Dem throws temper tantrums.” Dem: “The dryer wouldn’t work earlier…”

She says she doesn’t know what happened to the Tamar interview.

They’re excited for the first episode, Ika says to watch it then make judgements. Dem says after the interviews he’s excited more for the show. Ika is pumped BB is back. Ika says he’s going to refrain from saying mean things on twitter.

Dem randomly mentions he likes her hair, “yeah, you said you like this one.”

They say if the celebs were in there longer they would die. Dem was shocked they were complaining about sequester when it was two days.

They aren’t going to watch live feeds. “Twitter is our live stream.”

Both Ika and Dem are so tired. Dem: “Let’s go watch a movie, eat our food and crash.”

Someone says she seems short with Dem. Ika says that she’s not frustrated with Dem, she doesn’t want him to say certain things about ET Canada and the interviews, he’s not as censored.

Dem says if twitter had an edit button he would use it more. Ika says she’ll find his errors on IG and he can edit them.

Dem jokes that Ika is being short with him, Ika: “am I?! I don’t mean to be.” She laughs and looks genuinely sad about it. Dem says they’ll watch a horror movie. Ika: “I’m going to get short.”

Someone says they look high. Ika says that they’re just tired, they don’t smoke.

Ika: “I’m sorry you think I’m short right now. You’re so nice, and you cook for me.” Dem: “You’re tall right now.” Ika: “Maybe if you rub my feet I’ll be better.” Ika: “You’ll rub me?” Dem: “I’ll rub you baby.”

Ika: “You know what I feel? I feel upset but I don’t know why.” Dem: “You’re super cute. It’s okay.” Ika: “And I’m taking it out on you, I’m sorry.”

Ika says she just feels hateful, Dem says he feels like that sometimes, in the mornings.

Ika: “As soon as this live is over, you’re going to give me a hug and rub my feet, and they’ll never see it.” Dem says that they should put cameras in there so we can see how she really is.

Dem: “She’s so pretty. Look at her.” He turns the camera to her.

Ika: “When I’m hateful and he doesn’t deserve it, and he’s sleeping, I’ll wake him up and apologize. And he just says it’s okay.”

Dem says that when she’s mad, he’ll try to make her eat, get her her favorite things and will tell him she’s not hungry, but he knows she is starving. But she also says when she’s mad she doesn’t get hungry. Ika says when she’s upset, he’ll antagonize her sometimes. Dem: “I will.” Ika says that she’ll leave, and one time she was gone and he sent her a text that she should go get a coffee. Dem: “These are words from Karen SIngbiel – you’re either a problem solver or a problem maker. And I looked at the text and knew it was a problem maker. Send.” Ika says it upset her because usually when they are not okay, he is the problem solver and will make sure they’re okay, and that time he wasn’t. Dem says it was one time. Dem: “Baby, come here.” He pulls her to her and kiss her.

Dem says that in the middle of the night when she can’t sleep, she’ll wake him and tell him she’ll go make him a strong cup of coffee. Ika: “But I love my honey bunches. Will you rub me? I’m not saying I love you so you rub me, I do love you, but…”

Dem says he has an early morning tomorrow, and Ika asks if she’ll still get breakfast before he goes to work.

Live runs out of time as they’re talking about youtube and how Dem gets sad when the videos don’t do well. Ika: “It’s okay, honey.”

[zoebechtle-blog]

Unlikey Chapter 6

At Niall’s insistence, I let him take me home. Paul was pissed that I was missing quiz night for the second week in a row, a fight not being a reasonable excuse for abandoning him and not defending our honor. He let it be known that if I missed next week he was breaking up with me for good. I kissed his cheek, and when I went to lift my head, he whispered, “I love you. And if he hurts you again, know they won’t find his body. I’m from Lincolnshire. I know hog farmers.” This boy watched too much true crime TV. I gave him a second kiss (God, I couldn’t have found a better gay boyfriend) and assured him that if that was the case, I’d help him.

Leaving, we encountered something new for me. Two girls, probably nineteen or so, stopped Niall as we walked out of the pub. One looked absolutely starstruck, mouth agape (girl, I feel ya), and the other took charge, asking questions. They verified his identity and let out little squeals. He sweetly hugged them both and took the selfies with them himself because their hands shook too much to hold the phones. I dug in my bag with my left hand, and retrieved a small notebook and pen I always carried, and thrusted them at him.

“Here, so they can have your autograph, too.” The shocked girl smiled at me and whispered a thank you. I gave her a thumbs up.

The ride to my flat was fairly quiet. I tried to give him directions, but ended up thoroughly confusing him. He put my address into his navigation system and let it lead the way. I was hit with a bit of who he was - his fame and his wealth (and that we didn’t really exist on the same planet) this evening. I was pretty sure this SUV cost more than my entire post-secondary education (six years, if you’re keeping track).  The seats were made of leather so soft that I wanted to rub my cheek against them. Casually, I did. When he turned on my seat warmer, I let out a little moan.

“Like that, huh?” He sided eyed me at the stoplight, giving me a cocky little grin.

“Mmmm. A warm ass is a great thing.”

He shook his head and kept up his smile. I think we both knew what he was thinking. And it was on my mind, too. Unable to meet his eye, I watched London pass by out the window and tapped my feet to the music playing.

“Who is this? I really like it.”

“It’s good, right? My mate Bressie’s band, The Blizzards. Big back home.”

“Bressie. He commented on your Insta the other day, didn’t he?” I knew exactly who Bressie was. I’d almost licked my phone when I saw his picture. Big, tall, and muscular, he was every crush I’d ever had wrapped up into one. And it might be fun to see where Niall stood.

“Yep. One of my best buddies.”

“He’s hot.” I side eyed Niall and caught his jaw drop just a hint. “Like really, really, hot. He should have auditioned to play Superman.” He gripped the wheel a little tighter, and it was everything I could do not to laugh out loud. “I’d hit that like the wrath of God.” He had a cute little vein in his neck that bulged, and I couldn’t hold it in any longer, shaking with laughter. “You’re a little green there, punkin’.”

“That wasn’t nice. Thought I was going to have to beat up my own friend to win your affection.” He gave me a relieved smile, and I grinned back at him.

I had warned him that parking near my flat was a challenge. Having never owned a  car in London, I didn’t quite grasp how annoying on the street parking was until now. The only time I rode in a car I was usually picked up or dropped off. Niall circled around twice, muttering to himself.

“You can just let me out,” I offered. I wasn’t really sure what his plans were, and I didn’t want to impose on his time. “My flat is a mess anyhow and I fear I might scare you away if you see what a disaster I am.”

“Not possible.”

“No, really. It’ll be like that old episode of Full House when Danny goes on a date and gets back to the girl’s place and there are clothes and food everywhere and he about has a coronary. I’m trying to save you.” And now this seemed kind of real and I was more than a little terrified.

He chuckled. “Are you comparing me to Danny Tanner? I’m totally a Joey and Uncle Jesse hybrid.” Oh snap, he knows his Full House. “I’m not that much of a neat freak.”

I scoffed, “Dude, I’ve slept in your room. I creeped your closet. I’m terrified of your anal retentive wa-Stop!”

He slammed on the brakes, both of us jerking forward a bit. “Old Man Flannigan is walking to his car,” I gestured wildly behind us. “It’s the red VW.”

“Shite, it’ll be gone by the time we can get around the block again. This street is too narrow for me to let him by so I can back up.”

“No problem.” I unbuckled my seatbelt and opened the door as Flannigan flipped on his headlights. “I’ve got it. Go.” I motioned him to leave.

“Z, I’m coming inside with ya, I’m not leaving you here.” Flannigan had pulled out and was behind us and honked his horn, looking as annoyed as ever.

“No, dummy. I’m going to save the space. Go around the block again.” I rolled my eyes at him and shut the door, walking back and giving the old man behind us my biggest, fakest smile. He flipped me off. I stood in the empty space and waited for Niall to come back around, waving off people who thought they could slide in. It had gotten chilly, as it’s prone to do in mid-March London, and I danced around trying to warm myself a bit. My hand throbbed and had swollen to what felt like an Incredible Hulk sized fist, and there was going to be a lovely bruise, but I could move it so I figured I was okay. When the black SUV approached, I raised my arms and shook my hips, turning in a circle. He shook his head and rolled down the window.

“Move, ya nutter.” Surprising myself, I blew him an exaggerated kiss that he caught and pretended to rub on his lips. I waited on the sidewalk as he maneuvered into the space.

“Ya know, there’s something undeniably sexy about a man who can parallel park,” I informed him as he got out, hopping from foot to foot to keep my blood flowing.

“Really? You should see me do a three point turn.”

“Dirty talk.”

He wrapped an arm around my shoulder as we walked the four doors down to my building. “Ya cold? Your jacket isn’t very thick.”

“Freezing. Let’s get inside.” He pulled me closer and I rested my head on his shoulder.

I’d considered making him wait in the hall for ten minutes while I did a quick sweep through, but honestly, I didn’t have that much energy. And I was one handed. To know me is to love me, and part of that is my propensity for leaving a trail of my belongings anywhere I’d been. And to realize I wasn’t going to do the dishes until they smelled.

We went inside and he looked around, as you do in a new space. It wasn’t as messy as I feared (I’d gotten ready in a flash this morning, having accidentally turned off my alarm). There was, however, a bra lying on the kitchen table. A very large, very red lace bra. Our eyes landed on it at the same time, and I dove to retrieve it, stuffing it in my purse as he let out a hyena laugh.

“So this is my place. Grand tour - kitchen is there, this is the living room, bathroom is back there, and the magic happens there,” I pointed to my bedroom and gave him a half smile. “By magic, of course, I mean sleep.”

“Yeah. Course.” He wiggled his eyebrow and shot me a wry smile. “Let’s get you some fresh ice, yeah? You’re swelling up pretty good.”

“There’s a bag of peas in the freezer. Could you grab them for me?” I toed off my boots as he walked into the kitchen. I watched him walk in and open the fridge and felt my heart squeeze just a little. This is the first time, other than the pub bathroom and hallway, that we had ever been in a space alone. Trying to control myself, I walked over and turned on my “chill” playlist (creative at naming such things I am not). “Beg, Steal, or Borrow” by Ray LaMontagne filled the flat as I walked into the kitchen.

“Are these your nephews?” He motioned at the picture on the fridge of me with three golden haired boys, tucked among various invitations and save-the-dates as he handed me the peas.

“There’s beer in there if you want to grab some,” I told him, reaching into the cabinet and getting out a bottle of ibuprofen. “And yeah, those are the boys. Jack is the oldest, Sam in the middle, and Charlie is the little guy I’m holding. That’s a from Christmas a year ago, the last time I was home.” I accepted the bottle of Harp he handed me and I passed him the medicine bottle. “Could you open these for me, please?” He handed me three and I washed them down with the beer. We stood awkwardly, both leaning against the counter. I faced him, truly appreciating how handsome he was as he swallowed his drink, his lean body in skinnies and a comfy looking blue henley. Something about his Adam’s apple moving caused a definite clench in my pants. And his profile was amazing. He might just have the world’s most perfect nose, and those lips. It took a hundredth of a second for me to imagine, for the umpteenth time, kissing them and how’d they feel on any and every part of my body.

“You’re starin’,” his deep voice interrupted my dirty thoughts. Shit, he caught me. “What’s going on it that mind of yours, Zo?”

Jeff Buckley sang about lilac wine in the other room, and surprisingly my flush wasn’t as bad as it could be. What the hell, might as well go for it.

“I was thinking about you.”

“Yeah?” He turned his body towards mine, and stepped closer. “I’m right here. Whatcha thinkin’ about?”

“I’ve told you about my most embarrassing experience (falling down a flight of stairs in my prom dress in front of the whole senior class), how much I can’t stand my brother, why I love my job, and all that. I know your fear of needles, all about the first time you got drunk, and why you’re never allowed back in that hotel in Tokyo. We’ve shared more than I have with some people I’ve been with for months. And we’ve never kissed.” Your move, Horan.

I’m happy to say that he took the gauntlet I’d thrown down. Before I could close my mouth completely from my last words, his hand was behind my ear and the other arm wrapped around my waist. His lips were every bit as soft as they looked, and his breath was warm. His tongue traced the seam of my lips, and I opened slightly for him. I could taste the beer, but also a touch of mint, like he’d been chewing gum earlier. It was sweet and my god, I never wanted anything else. He made tiny little noises of pleasure, as he held me against the cabinets, his thumbs rubbing circles in their locations. My arms were around his neck, holding his head to mine with my good hand. I could feel his smile against my mouth. I hoped he felt mine, too.

We broke apart, and it took everything in my power not to climb him like a tree. I know my grin was goofy, but to be fair, so was his. Maybe even sillier than mine. His hand stayed behind my ear, anchoring my forehead against his. When he exhaled again, he let out a little laugh that warmed me down to my toes.

“Been wantin’ to do that for a month now. Christ, woman.”

Not one to ever do anything in moderation, ever (my ass can testify to that), I pulled his head back down for more. This time he was a little more forceful, pinning me with his hips, his left hand running down my side. My nipples responded to the electricity, and I pressed them into his chest. He groaned and sucked on my tongue. I was done. These underwear just went the way of the Titanic.

We ended up on the sofa, kissing like horny sixteen year olds. The little bit of scruff he had was rubbing my chin raw, but I had zero fucks to give. His weight on top of me was perfect, and I’d wrapped a leg around the back of his thigh. When Chet Faker’s cover of “No Diggity” started in the background, he raised his head and smiled, his eyes crinkling, showing his eye dimple, which I decided I wanted to claim as mine.

“Love this song.”

In response I started singing along. “...gettin’ paid is our forte, each and every day, true player way.” He joined me me, our faces inches from each others, so close that I could count the freckles on his nose and observe the lines in his forehead when he raised his eyebrows, both of us singing and laughing. The moment was something out of Nicholas Sparks novel, if he used folk covers of 90s rap hits as a plot device. I lifted my head and rubbed my nose against his, and whispered in my best phone sex operator voice, “Stroke. Stroke.” His peals of laughter had to be heard on the street. That noise was a high I’d never experienced, and I was going to crave it from there on out. I was hooked on this stupid dork to spite myself. I didn’t care about who he was or what he did. This guy on top of me, even if he was a street sweeper living in a van down by the river, could own me just with those eyes, that laugh, and his grin. What surprised me most was what he said next:

“You scare me, Z.”

Huh? To quote the man himself, I’m about as intimidating as a baby penguin (all bark and absolutely no bite). My confusion was written all over my face, and he ran his thumb across the furrow of my brows.

“I’ve already fucked this up once. I have no idea what I’m doing and I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Okay. Don’t then. Don’t get in your own head. Let’s just be.”

Now if that isn’t easier said than done.

[phoena12]

Bring Forth The Sweet Memories Of Old

so just real quick for any that have read my fanfiction, this is something i’ve been working on for a while and thought id share on here!

(you can read the first two chapters here-http://archiveofourown.org/works/11850006/chapters/26752914 

also @omsrandom and @scipunk63 i said id be coming for you via angst, best prepare yourselves fufufu~~

Journal For A Devil ch3

 The studio sits silent, the cries of the prophet having died down to small, harsh whispers falling predator upon the crisp music sheets marked in ritualistic hymns, the slaps and thuds of heavy ink making their way down the decrepit halls, leaving the odd splotch on the walls or flooring, had now disappeared into the gloom of the place. The odd creak of the building could be heard on the occasion, as the foundation shifted or the cries from down below had reached the top floor but, those were best left for another day.

 Our star peers his void optics up from the journal, taking more of the room in. true, the place was rather well organised and clean considering the state the rest of the studio was in, aside from a broken chair with two of its legs missing and the reoccurring theme of ink stains on all the walls and flooring, the room was well looked after. It surprised the demon that Sammy had even managed to retain any memories of Susie after what he had become or maybe, it was just a blind obligation to his lost loved one. How bittersweet, considering the raving lunatic hated the angel down below.

 From what bendy could remember Susie had been quite a conundrum, very loud and bright and full of joy. And so very full of noise. At least, that’s what his other memories told him. He never much cared for the woman, toon or otherwise. And Alice had been no different, sweet and endearing, entrancing all who had come to watch her. It was funny to think how much she lied.

 The two were taken and torn from themselves that day, crawling from the screaming depths the ink machine had spat out, to become a new and horrifying being hell bent on becoming whole and perfect again. A futile endeavour he had thought, no being could become like themselves once entering this place. They were all living evidence of that. Alice was no longer Alice and Susie no longer Susie and neither were the angels they had been, rent from heaven by the cruel hands of Joey Drew. Bendy shuddered, or rippled in his case, reverting his covered gaze to the journal once more. He could no longer hear the ravenous cries of Sammy at having discovered his lord and saviour had visited the old music room. He was probably busy finding some use for the ink that had spilled from Bendy’s form in his haste to depart. You can only spend so many years listening to Sammy’s religious ravings before going a bit nuts yourself and bendy had far more important matters than lacerating his body to inky pieces. Journal still in hand, he flicks through a couple of pages, passing the entries on how Henry’s livelihood went after leaving the company. It doesn’t take long for him to find an interesting entry though, the pages coming to a stop at the day henry joined the studio.

 ~~0~~

 January 2nd 1930

 Today has been a hitch, I finally got a reply to one of my applications! It’s at that small studio on the edge of town, Joey Drew studios, or well, technically it’s called silly vision studios but I guess was originally named after the owner himself. The job itself is as an animator at the studio, looks like things’ll be turning sunny soon enough for me!

  The interview had gone surprisingly well, Mr Drew asked me the standard questions of why I wanted to join and whatnot and when the question of what my previous job was I was able to lie and say it was at some press company. I was pretty sure I was sweating at that point but Mr Drew kept a jovial smile and we continued on.

I was also asked to demonstrate my drawing skills and draw the main character, Bendy, which caught me off guard but I’m never one to back down from a challenge. Mr Drew had gone quiet at this point clearly analysing my skills, it was kinda stressful but as I etched each  line into the paper I began to calm, drawing has always been therapeutic for me and drawing this charming little guy was kinda fun . After having finished the drawing I was heavily praised for the work, receiving compliment after compliment, and a few critiques which was to be expected, but flattering nonetheless! As I listened to Mr Drew praise my drawing I concluded that the man was rather friendly and hospitable, he’s definitely passionate about his cartoon that’s for sure, going on about all the ideas he had for the show and saying he had big plans in store.

  It’s nice to see someone with the same drive as me.

 The interview ended with him shaking my hand and welcoming me to the studio with a big grin akin to the little toon. I didn’t know how to react at first, standing there with my jaw almost hitting the floor (I must’ve looked so shocked!), I mean he just gave me my dream job right on the spot! He gave me a slight slap to the back, his hand remaining there as he ushered me out of the room and further into the studio, saying that if I were to start working here it was only right he give me a tour of the place.

 The studio itself was pretty old, if the dust and cobwebs were anything to go by and it didn’t seem to matter where you stepped, the floorboards creaked if you put even the smallest of weight on them, it was pretty magical actually, like being in a dream. The tour began with walking throughout the halls and entering through different doors into another hallway (the place is like a maze!) until we reached the animation department, which mostly consisted of an old wooden desk and a chair in  front, all tucked away into a little corner. A little odd and reminded me of the small, cramped space I had back at the Pym offices but Mr Drew had said it was so the animators could focus more on their work than on their surroundings or colleagues. I suppose he has a point.

 The next room we stopped at was the break room. It had dim lighting but was well furnished with; chairs, a table which had some cards splayed out on the wooden surface, a rather comfy looking couch with a few stray ink splotches and finally, a small black stove braced against the wall. Mr Drew said that a lot of the employees sometimes stayed to work overnight, especially when a deadline was coming up, and so he had the stove installed so that the workers could eat a proper meal before heading back to work. “It’s important to stay healthy whilst you work and I wouldn’t want any of my colleagues to feel low on energy!” Mr Drew had said, a cheery and noble tune to his voice, this guy really is something else. Mr Drew made his way back up the steep wooden steps we had descended into the room, cheeringly talking about the cartoon and the next department we were to visit. I took one last look around the room, the scent of bacon wafting in my nose, the small dust motes that fell from the ceiling and the array of promotional posters adorned along the walls, each stating the title of the episode with a drawing of Bendy on some adventure. It was cute, more homely than anything and I would’ve liked to spend more time taking it all in but Mr Drew had ascended the steps and was calling my name. Apparently Mr Drew had to have a short talk to the music director and he thought he might as well bring me along to make an introduction but that the music director (Sammy I believe he had called him) wasn’t much for patience with other people and that we might make haste.

 ~~0~~

 Bendy’s eyes roamed over the crinkled page, small huffs rising in anger as he reads more on his creator, an occasional growl clawing its way up his throat, trying to ward off any terrors that the words may invoke. Joey was always a conniving and manipulative guy in the background, his honeyed words and false smile a mask to fool those he suckered into working for him. Sweet sayings to make you think he was pure of heart, hah! The man was foul and grotesque and deserved to rot. Bendy shivers, unwanted memories making a hum beneath his ink. Soft, breathy calls from the past, trying to lure him into madness again. He wouldn’t go back, not yet. He wouldn’t listen to that other mind, the being only whispering mad things and lies. No, he resolves to keep reading, ignoring the mellow hums of angered cries. Just for a little a longer.

 ~~0~~

 The walk to the music department was short and peaceful, occasionally stopping to introduce myself to passing employees. Mr Drew keept a languid pace, odd seeing as he had said the director didn’t like to be kept waiting. I inquire as to our slow pace and the directors lack of patience, Mr Drew replies with a jovial “it’s always fun to make Sammy wait, consider it revenge”. That had me a little worried.

 “Revenge for what?” I had cautiously inquired, perhaps the two didn’t have a great relationship and were using me as a catalyst for their feud. I would like to hope not.

 “hmm, well you see, Sammy has a bad habit of being rather snappy towards people, so this is just a small revenge you see?” again, replying with that same jovial tone, the odd undertone of malice flickering in and out, though his posture remains the same. Stood tall and relaxed, shoulders slightly slacking and a small smile present on his face. His eyes distant as if in thought. I should make a note not to get on Mr Drew’s bad side, he seemed to take great pleasure in the upcoming argument. I simply nod my understanding and continued walking.

 “And besides” he had begun “Sammy always plays best when he thinks he’s alone” a small wink is sent my way.

 I had looked at him in puzzlement before I could hear the faint tunes of a banjo down the hallway. The melody was soft and thrummed with life, each pluck of the string capturing my attention as it filled the hall with its merriment and sombre song. It was like being transported to a different realm, everything falling away as I had unconsciously closed my eyes, trying to sync with the music more. It was beautiful. Beside me, Mr Drew hums along to the tune, although I can say I’ve never heard of anything like it before, his face peaceful and loose, a smile still haunting his lips.

 Before I know it we had arrived at Sammy’s office and Mr Drew pushes through the great oak door with a flourish, the sound of clapping knocking me out of  my reverie and it appeared the same could be said for Sammy, the sound of wood knocking against wood as Sammy snaps from his own trance and drops his banjo. His surprised, youthful face melting away into an old snarl towards Mr Drew as he makes his way towards Sammy’s desk. The harsh claps of his hands faltering for a mere second before making small talk with Sammy. I had stood there in the doorway, still feeling a little dazed and mostly awkward, Mr Drew having momentarily forgotten me to congratulate Sammy on his beautiful rendition of Mozart. The praise is met with taut words and a heated stare.

 Sammy gestures to me after a while, asking if I’m the new guy, to which Mr Drew enthuastically replies that I am and that he was just giving me a tour of the place. Sammy huffs, rubs his face and replies why the hell was Joey bringing an animator down this way just for an introduction, he’s a busy man, and he doesn’t have time for this. Mr Drew promptly replies that if Sammy has time to slack off and play his banjo he has time to make introductions. I couldn’t see Mr Drew’s face, his back being to me but Sammy’s frown seemed to drop a fraction further before he stands and stalks over to me. As he approaches I notice the dark, heavy bags under his eyes, the faint lines on his skin from all that possible frowning and I notice how cold and distant his eyes seem.

 “Well? Ya gonna shake my hand or what?” he had snapped. I hadn’t even realised he had stuck his hand out for me to shake (how rude of me!) and quickly take it in my own, a quick exchange of welcoming being given. He retracts his hand and stuffs it into his pocket. “I’m Sammy, music director for the show, although I have a feeling you already know that” he side eyes Mr Drew, harsh like winter and Mr Drew simply waves back at him, ignoring the anger laced in Sammy’s words. We talk then, just a small bit, telling him my own name and such although I feel a slight hindrance to do so, he is very intimidating.

 For a moment we lapse into silence and before Mr Drew can jump back into the conversation and pester Sammy, said music director promptly pushes us out of his office and bites a “goodbye” through gritted teeth. How charming. Mr Drew just laughs and says that went surprisingly well, considering Sammy is usually more spiteful to new people. My expression must have been rather worried looking as Mr Drew simply says that he’ll get used to me in no time and who knows, we might even be friends. I decided not to make a statement on that.

 ~~0~~

  Bendy lets out something akin to a snort, his breathe coming out in a long huff. Go figures that Sammy was still as spiteful in his youth as he was when Bendy came to be, always with the snarls and cold eyes. Bendy remembers the cries of outrage as he flooded the music director’s office, cursing and spluttering and falling in the ink. Oh those were good times.

 Tired yawns masked pained cries, heavy bags under his eyes, a taut and tight smile when he had to. But that’s only what people saw on the outside. Sammy was a man of music, whenever he had the chance you can bet he’d be playing that old banjo of his, sweet melodies they were, always gentle and lulling you into relaxing, carrying sombre lyrics if he felt like it. Truly Sammy was one of a kind, snarky and ill-mannered as he was, he had a cracked heart of gold.

 A faint memory, like the flutter of a birds wings, sings at the back of Bendy’s mind. An old memory but a good one, as someone peers from around a corner, agitation vibrating throughout their body, to find a young Sammy Lawrence crouched low, muttering soft words to a distressed child. It appears the child has lost his toy and no adults seem to be around. A dangerous place to get lost, the toy workshop, too many winding mechanisms the child could get trapped in. Sammy coos at the child, picks them up in his arms and heads over to Shaun’s workshop. The memory flickers and wavers before being replaced with a new one, this time the person viewing the scene is surrounded by small children, tired but keeping up a pleasant façade for the little ones, each asking different questions about the cartoons. Sammy is nowhere to be seen. As the person begins to talk, their voice sounding static and warbled, a small child trots from around a corner to join his classmates, a small bendy plush clutched tightly to his chest. The man speaking looks up in the direction the child had come from to see Sammy taking off back around the corner, a small, soft smile on his face.

 A good memory and a very rare one at that. Sammy always had a soft spot for kids, which when Franks had found out, loved to tease him about. But how odd. For what purpose did Sammy of all people have down at the toy workshop?

 Bendy breaks from his musing. This is dangerous he knows. To remember so many things at once but he was getting close, he could feel it. Close to unlocking something, he need only bear a few more pains and he would finally have his answers.

 He reads on.

 ~~0~~

 After leaving the music department and the foreboding aura of Sammy behind we continue on our way to our last stop, the screening room, to meet a man called Norman Polk. Along the way, Mr Drew talks animatedly about the cartoon, I tried to ask questions and make my own comments but the man was on such a roll that I couldn’t get a word in edgeways. I continued to walk in silence more than happy to listen to him talk.

 Whilst on our way to the screening room, we meet with a young black man, unruly black hair and, when he took note of our approach, an even more unruly smile to match. He carried a pail of inky black water in one hand and a mop in his other, held forward as it were a staff of some kind to ward of any ill luck. He greets us with a smile and gives me a once over. Mr Drew introduces me and we make small talk, the occasional joke flitting back and forth at Mr Drew’s expense and to my embarrassment. The man’s name is Wally Franks, janitor to the studio and, through Mr Drew’s words, the crown fool of the studio. A wink is sent my way upon being told that, he seems a rather coy fellow if the smirks and winks are anything to go by. But it was odd, I recall Mr Drew seeming rather irritated by his snickers, as if they carried more malice than what was being intended. How odd. He let a sigh out, long and tiring, says “Welp, this place ain’t gonna clean itself” and leaves, his smirk falling a bit. Despite his cocky attitude I sensed that he did not enjoy his job very much.

 As soon as Wally is out of sight, Mr Drew lets out a small sigh, says to not take any of Wally’s future pranks too seriously and that he apologises in advance for his colleague’s antics. I simply wave him off and tell him not to worry. Surely he can’t be that bad?

 The rest of the walk to the screening room is mostly silent, Mr Drew keeping his head forward and posture straight. He definitely seems to carry authority. Having thought that at the time it made me look back on Hank and how similar the two are. Very well kept, neat and tidy individuals, an intelligent glint to their eyes. The difference being that Mr Drew always seemed to have a smile on his face, a light and jovial tone even when dealing with people he didn’t like. Far different from Hank. Lost in my thoughts again I am brought back by a soft nudge, Mr Drew asks if I’m ok and I stammer and say that I am. We had arrived at the screening room and entered.

 Before us were two to three rows of chairs messily disorganised in front of a blank wall, a square of light shining down to create a panel on the old wood. A few instruments were laid about the room, a discarded cello, a big drum propped in the corner and a solitary piano to the other side, its lid open invitingly. Mr Drew gives the room a quick survey and calls out Norman’s name but it heeds no reply. Having said that upon entering the room I had felt as if I were being watched and can say that was indeed the case as the projectionist himself pops up behind us out of nowhere, startling both of us. I nervously chuckle as Mr Drew swings round and scolds Norman. The man replies with a “did you not hear me come down the stairs?” and Mr Drew laughs. The two bicker a few more moments before Mr Drew introduces me to Norman. I take note that he’s quite tall and has a knowing look about his eyes.

 He stares at me a few moments, and I feel a sense of foreboding, he asks “do you know a guy name Pym?” and I nearly blanche. My first day here and already someone has outed me as being the previous co-manager for Pym and co. or so I thought as I reply with a calm “no”, sweat trickling down my back. He shrugs his shoulders and continues on with introductions and how the screening room works, seemingly dissuaded from my connection to Hank, though were he made the connection to begin with still eludes me. I ignore Mr Drew’s curious glances and shrug my shoulders in turn, hopefully that is enough to deter him for some time, though lady luck is never one to favour me for long.

 I discuss the screening room at length with Norman, hoping that he’s forgotten about the subject all together and we end the conversation with the authoritive nonchalance of Mr Drew proclaiming that time for touring the studio was up. Something about an upcoming deadline and financing that needed attending to. I give my regards to Norman and as we leave the lit up room I felt the burning of his eyes never leaving my form, I’ll have to keep an eye out for him whilst I’m here.

 ~~0~~

 Bendy had a certain fondness for Wally, mainly for the fact he loved mischief as much as he did when first coming to the world, and he was a great scape goat for all his pranks. Not that Joey could really scold the little toon for his mischief when every other living being inside the studio had no idea he existed physically. Bendy also thought that Wally would have made for a good friend, someone to talk to and make mischief together. But those were dreams of folly he knew and he had kept his presence hidden from most at the time. He thought it a shame as to what happened to Wally but then again, nothing full of life and joy lasts long down here.

 Most being the key word there, as despite his efforts the little toon could not keep his playful antics at bay when regarding Norman. The man was a difficulty to get a rise out of and in Bendy’s short time he tried to get the man to jump or squeal just once. And he went too far and paid the price for it, or rather Norman did. It was only meant to be a small trick, something simple that was sure to get a rise out of the silent man but much to Bendy’s negligence at the time, he failed to hear the approaching footsteps and was seen momentarily by him. He had the feeling that Norman didn’t much like him, his hard stare always following the ink demons form wherever he was, his cool optics burning holes into his form as he roamed around his domain. Even when he was out of sight, he could still feel his projected gaze seeking him out from the shadows. Bendy tended to avoid him from then on in if he could and always carried a niggling sense of guilt at his unfavourable demise. If Joey wanted something to stay secret it would be held so by any means.

 ~~0~~

 Mr Drew ends the tour with seeing me to the front door, sunlight pouring forth into the studio, and tells me he’ll see me next Monday fresh and early to start work. I’ll be given a more in depth description of the workings of the animation department on Monday I suppose. That day when I left the comforting warmth of the studio and into the brittle cold air of January, I felt happy. Though as I say, lady luck only gives her favours on short terms bases as I arrived to my small apartment. I entered to find the place ransacked. Luckily the vial and journal had managed to stay hidden and untouched. I wonder if I could hide it at the studio, there are plenty of places to hide them and I doubt that S.H.I.E.L.D. would think to look there, it is better than keeping them here where they may be found.

 ~~0~~

 With the end of the entry Bendy is left with impossibly more questions than he started out with. It makes his head ache impossibly more and his vision blurs slightly. It would seem he has pushed his own luck a bit far today, the voices cased within his ink, squirming around, chattering relentlessly. He places the tattered book upon the desk, beginning to weary of reading and notices a small face on the bottom of the page. It’s his face. His old one. With eyes full of joy and mischief and a big grin to match. A couple of lines are wobbly and then Bendy feels himself swaying and suddenly it’s all too much. The memories surge beneath his ink, pressing and rippling against his body, trying to force their knowledge unto him with overwhelming strength.

 Bendy can hear them, the faint chatter of co-workers passing through the halls, the scratch of pen to paper as an animator inks out his star creation of the studio with a fluid grace, the cursed mumbles of Joey as he pours over a leather bound book, scratching symbols and jumbled words onto a piece of bloodied paper. His form sinks to the ground, heavy drops of ink falling at his sudden descent to pool on the floor, his clawed hands raking at his face to try and free himself from the stinging sounds and fractured images. He remembers everything in that short time, writhing in pain on the floor as image after gory image wracks his body with shock. He fights with himself trying to unsee all the crimson ink that stains a pentagram by his feet, projecting a fiery glare about the room.  He tries to block out all the sound too but it does nothing except ricochet around his head with more force. He knew reading the journal would cost him some sacrifice but to this extent he had not expected.  

 What a fool he was, hmm?

 Bendy knows the best way to handle the situation is to let the ink takes its course, thrumming and throbbing throughout his entire body , slowly diminishing him in size as huge globs of ink stream from his body still. But he couldn’t, the rage and pain coinciding to rip a roar, more similar to that of a human cry of pain and a demons murderous growl, from his throat and thunder throughout the studio.

 And all the while the tattered journal that sat silent and forgotten, lay open atop the desk, the doodle of Bendy staring sightlessly toward the ceiling, its mouth now casting an ominous and cruel grin.

[easyobsession]

dwts25 cast announcement (aka lo is STILL recapping this crap?)

Jesus lord help us all, the shit storm covered in glitter is back for its 25th season and while I’m highly doubtful I’ll post weekly because I’m still upset over last season and pretty fed up with a certain pro at the moment, I’m feeling generous and somewhat indebted to tradition to at least do a post on the cast reveal.

Wow, that was a long ass sentence.

 *A quick sidenote before we start- you guys, I actually know who all except 4 of these people are!! This might be a record. Good on you, ABC.

The Guys

DEREK FISHER with pro partner SHARNA BURGESS

Speaking of people I don’t know… He’s an athlete, what do you expect? He used to be a basketball player, right? Does he still play? Was he any good? They got Kobe Bryant to send a message, but is that because of Derek or just ABC’s connections? I have no clue. Instant judgment says he won’t be great.

DREW SCOTT with pro partner EMMA SLATER

Who doesn’t love the Property Brothers? When I first heard about Drew as a possible contestant, I wasn’t shocked. He and his brother seem pretty easygoing and willing try almost anything- and out of the two I think Drew is a little less likely to worry about the stereotypical possibility of looking “less masculine.”  I think Drew could be good- he’s insanely tall, which might work against him, but he seems really excited and I bet he works hard. I’m excited about him.

FRANKIE MUNIZ with pro partner WITNEY CARSON

Loved Malcolm in the Middle. And Agent Cody Banks, with Hillary Duff? AND BIG FAT LIAR, WITH AMANDA BYNES BEFORE SHE LOST HER MIND? And that Disney Channel movie (back when they were DCOMs) where he was in a kid in a wheelchair that raced in a soapbox derby? God, what a throwback. Apparently since then he’s gotten pretty into racing for real, however I don’t see us having another James Hinchcliff on our hands. Even in the 2 second intro they did on GMA he looked stiff and awkward. I don’t see this lasting long at all. Shame.

JORDAN FISHER with pro partner LINDSAY ARNOLD

Forget Hamilton, this boy is from the Disney Channel! Liv and Maddie, anyone? TEEN BEACH MOVIE? It’s Seacat, y’all! He’s gonna kill it and it’s gonna be so fun to watch. I think he and Lindsay (who shall from this moment on be known this season as LindsAY, not to be confused with fellow contestant LindsEY) will be a great team with a lot of energy. He won’t win though, due to the Disney Channel curse. In true Disney star tradition though, he will likely get second place. (Somewhere in the distance Kyle Massey, Zendaya, and Corbin Bleu are having a Disney Kid/DWTS Runners Up club meeting. Meanwhile Sabrina Bryan is nearby plotting to burn down ABC headquarters.)

NICK LACHEY with pro partner PETA MURGATROYD

First One Tree Hill, now this. The man is out to conquer the world. I don’t think he’ll be as good as Drew (his brother, not the other contestant this season) and I almost think his wife will outdo him by just a hair. That said, I don’t see him being awful. Along the lines of boyband members, I can see him maybe a little behind the others like Nick Carter and Lance Bass, and probably not nearly as good as Wanya Morris or Joey Fatone. I think Nick will start off okay and slowly work his way up, but I don’t think it’ll be a fast or easy process. But as long as he and Vanessa don’t bitch and moan about their spouses like Carlos and Alexa PenaVega did, I’ll be happy.

TERRELL OWENS with pro partner CHERYL BURKE

It’s Terrell like Cheryl, not Tuh-rell. He is (was?) in the NFL. That sums up my knowledge of this man. I assume he was (is?) pretty good from the way people talk about him? He looks pretty graceful and I doubt they’d give Cheryl anyone too shitty since it’s such a big deal she’s back. I don’t know. The only football knowledge I have is from Friday Night Lights. Clear eyes, full hearts, can’t fuck it up in the ballroom.  

The Girls

BARBARA CORCORAN with pro partner KEO MOTSEPE

I actually have watched quite a bit of Shark Tank since Robert Herjavec’s season, so I know Barbara! She’s 68, so good for her, though since she’s with Keo we know she won’t last long. Though I doubt she’ll be much good, I know Barbara is very spunky and look forward to seeing her.

DEBBIE GIBSON with pro partner ALAN BERSTEN

One of the 4 I don’t know. Apparently she had a hit in the 80s that I’ve never heard of and she’s currently battling Lyme disease, which I also know nothing about. But after a quick trip to the trusty Mayo Clinc’s website, I learned that Lyme disease is basically a bacterial disease transmitted by deer tick bites (check yourself, kids!), with symptoms that can include a rash, flu-like symptoms, joint pains, and neurological problems. So Debbie has a lot going on. All of that said, I can see her being a bit like one of the higher-skilled housewives when it comes to skill- not epic, but not too bad.

LINDSEY STERLING with pro partner MARK BALLAS

I think I’m rooting for her to win. Of course we’ve all seen her- she’s performed on the show multiple times (Maks and Meryl, week 3 Foxtrot. Look it up.), She’s cute as button and apparently she and Mark have known each other for a while. I’m excited. I think she’ll do well. It’s gonna be weird seeing her dance with a person though instead of her violin.

NIKKI BELLA with pro partner ARTEM CHIGVINTSEV

I’m a WWE girl, so I know Nikki. Since the proposal at Wrestlemania in April she’s taken time off from wrestling, but she’s still around starring on the WWE reality show Total Divas as well as the spinoff Total Bellas, starring her and her twin sister Brie. Whether or not she’ll be any good is a huge question mark, because while being in amazing physical shape, obviously wrestling has a little less finesse than dancing. Fellow WWE superstar Chris Jericho competed in season 12 with Cheryl and came in 6th (he wasn’t great, and he’ll gladly tell you that himself), however I think Nikki being a woman gives her an advantage over the male wrestlers. The guys in WWE don’t have to worry about being sexy (though some are- Seth Rollins, call me) but the girls, while times have progressed and are now seen as equals in terms of talent, do have to be a little more graceful, so to speak. All of this being said, I’m not sure how well she’ll do. But I’m excited to find out.

SASHA PIETERSE with pro partner GLEB SAVCHENKO

I didn’t watch Pretty Little Liars, but I know who she is. Another one too cute for words. I hope she does well.

VANESSA LACHEY with pro partner MAKSIM CHMERKOVSKIY

I don’t really know what Vanessa has done aside from being a wife/mom and a TRL VJ back in the day. But she looks like she can shake her booty and I think she’ll do well with Maks. I can see them being a lot of fun. I also think she and Nick seem less timid than Carlos and Alexa, and I’m crossing my fingers that they understand the concept of the show is to win with your partner, not cry about how much you wish could be dancing with your husband instead (because that’s NOT HOW IT WORKS, ALEXA). So I’m pumped. I also hope the troupe is prepared to open the DWTS daycare for all of these children that will need watching while the mommies and daddies go to work.

VICTORIA ARLEN with pro partner VAL CHMERKOVSKIY

The final cast member I do not know. I looked up her story though, and I can see why Val has been so pumped about her. She seems AMAZING. For those of you also in the dark, here’s some info I’m copying from the internet:

“At the age of 11, Victoria developed two rare conditions and lost the ability to speak, eat, walk and move. She slipped into a vegetative state in which recovery was unlikely. She spent nearly 4 years "locked" inside her own body, completely aware of what was going on, just unable to move or communicate. Doctors believed there was little hope of survival and recovery was unlikely. In 2010, Victoria began the nearly impossible fight back to life. She learned how to speak, eat, and move all over again. She competed in the 2012 Summer Paralympics held in London as a member of Team USA and she won four medals: one gold and three silver. In April 2015, she made the transition from professional athlete to sportscaster and joined ESPN as one of the youngest on air talents hired by the company. In April of 2016, she defied yet another odd and learned to walk after spending nearly a decade paralyzed from the waist down.”

And she’s TWENTY-TWO, Y’ALL. Let’s all take a quick moment to examine our lives- WE’RE ALL FAILURES. LOOK AT THIS GIRL. SHE’S A REAL LIFE SUPERHERO. Also one of the ones I’m excited to see and rooting for (despite some shit I won’t get into. Check my twitter. It’s there somewhere).

The Troupe and Pro Decisions

TIME TO POP BOTTLES, Y’ALL. YOU KNOWN DAMN WELL WHY I’M CELEBRATING. However I’m also hesitantly holding back bc until the first episode airs and a little blonde man doesn’t magically come out dancing with his celebrity partner along the lines of Michelle Obama, Ellen DeGeneres, Christ himself, I won’t be 100% convinced we’ll get such a huge season without God’s Gift To Movement. (#SQUEREK- MY VALDAYA FAM CAN ENJOY THAT THROWBACK. YOU’RE WELCOME.)

On a completely different topic, Mark is back. Woot! With his creativity and LindsEY’s talent with a violin, I’m super pumped to see what he comes up with.

Also Alan has been upgraded to a pro. Yay Alan!

I’m sad Sasha isn’t a pro this season because we all love him and he’s done so great with his past partners, but I think a large part of him being a pro depends on if they can find someone that balances will with his height. So I’m sad, but happy he’ll be around at least on troupe.

On  a similar note though, who cares about height? Sasha is clearly a great teacher. Keo, however, though I’ve got mad love for the man, has proven time and time again that he needs some time on troupe to work on his teaching skills. I realize Barbara won’t ever be the next Laurie Hernandez, but regardless. I’m not happy they moved him up.

I’m also sad that a few favorites won’t be around like Karina and Tony. (dude, Karina went from this to attempting to date Chad from Jojo’s season of the Bachelorette on that new E! show. What the hell happened to our girl?)

The Judges

As far as I know they’re the same. Yippee -.- but guess what I’m pissed about y’all! SHIRLEY BALLAS IS JOINING THE JUDGING PANEL OF STRICTLY COME DANCING. WHICH IS NOT DWTS. WHY DO THEY GET HER AND WE’RE STUCK WITH CARRIE ANN AND JULES? What sick form of bullshit is this? I’ve said before I want both of Mark’s parents on the panel, plus Anna Trebunskaya (who just had a baby boy- CONGRATULATIONS ANNA!!!) and if Maks is competing and can’t judge, then Bruno, because I love his insanity and inappropriate innuendos. So damn you, Strictly!!

Predictions (in no specific order)

EARLY EXIT/THE BILLY RAY SCHOOL OF DANCE: Barb, Derek, Frankie

MIDDLE OF THE ROAD/BE GLAD YOU DON’T HAVE TO LEARN 46 NUMBERS FOR THE FINALE: Nikki, Terrell, Nick, Sasha, Debbie

GOING ALL THE WAY/STILL FINDING GLITTER IN YOUR DRAIN 6 MONTHS LATER: Jordan, LindsEY, Vanessa maybe, Victoria, Drew

For the final 3? As of lately I’m questioning damn near everything in my life, but I’ll give it a shot. Final 3 LindsEY, Jordan, Victoria. I’d normally guess Jordan for second, but with these girls I’ll guess Jordan 3rd and…. gah, this is hard. I want to say LindsEY will win, but I almost think Victoria will get it. I have a feeling this will flip-flop a lot. Okay, final guess pre-premiere is Jordan 3rd, LindsEY 2nd, and Victoria wins. But I’m not 100%.

Whew. Thank god I’m finally done writing this. If you actually read the whole thing, god love ya.

I’m still on social media @lauthom93 and love a good discussion, debate, or argument- not just about DWTS but anything at all, so hit me up there or right here on tumblr.

Back to my regularly scheduled madness. You know I’m sending love and gestures kids shouldn’t mimic.

Lo.

[junker-town]

First impressions of top QB recruits at 2018 Elite 11

Some talented prospects look good early.

Los Angeles, Calif. — The Elite 11 Finals got underway on Friday, and some of the most talented signal callers from across the country are on-hand. SB Nation’s Bud Elliott has been on the field for all the action, and he posted some thoughts and observations after Day 1 on our live event page.

Bud’s got you covered with from all of the action from Day 1 below.

Going to post a few thoughts on each kid from my notes here, starting with Gerry Bohanon. He's thickly built and it's easy top see why teams that ruin their QBs like him a lot. I can't imagine high schoolers trying to tackle him. The throwing part of playing QB has a ways to go, but he's got a chance. Interestingly, other recruiting analysts were wondering if all of the schools in his recently released top six would accept a commitment.

I compared Clemson QB commit Trevor Lawrence to Mike Trout yesterday. Trout is the best player in baseball, and has been for six years running. Yet every year, perhaps out of boredom with Trout being the best, folks try to suggest someone else is better. Lawrence is the best quarterback in the 2018 class, has been so ever since he broke out in 2014, and has shown nothing to suggest otherwise. It's boring, but it's the truth. In my mind, the debate right now is over who is No. 2. The Atlanta product is 6'6 with a big arm, and puts the ball wherever he wants it. He's polished in his mechanics, and refined in breaking down defenses. And he can make defenses pay if they ignore his legs.

Michigan QB Joe Milton has the strongest arm at the event. It's one of the biggest I've seen in covering this event since 2012. The next step for him is shortening his delivery, and dialing up the appropriate amount of touch and speed on each throw. Not every pitch is a fastball. Not dropping the ball so low will allow him to become more consistent.

USC QB commit Matt Corral has a big arm, but like Milton, he has to dial in the right amount of tough, arc and speed for each throw. I didn't think Corral was great in the early part of the camp, but he responded late when challenged in some final drills.

I might be the president of the Justin Fields fan club, having proclaimed in March that his upside was that of a "tall Russell Wilson." What's not to like? A sharp guy, big arm, mechanics that are better than you'd expect from someone who also plays a lot of baseball, and elite athleticism in a 6'3, 221-pound package. It's easy to see why programs like Auburn, Alabama, Florida, and Florida State are not giving up on recruiting the Penn State commit from Atlanta.

Some folks have said that Ohio State QB commit Emory Jones has struggled throwing the ball offseason, but I must have missed those events. He was good at the Under Armour Atlanta event a few months ago, and very strong Friday. The Georgia native has a strong arm, smooth stroke, and stood tall in the pocket. I'm higher on him than most, and comfortable with that position.

Dorian Thompson-Robinson impresses me every time I see him. Do you remember when football video games were in their infancy, and you could run at full speed and then release the joystick and the player would come to an immediate stop, ready to fire a ball accurately? That's DTR. He's the best athlete at the event, but also the most under control, which allows him to use a strong arm and clean, compact release to deliver strikes. And he knows where he is going with the ball, which is impressive given he has yet to start a game in high school, having backed up Ohio State signee Tate Martel last year. Thompson-Robinson is a bright kid, and UCLA is getting a really promising QB.

This was my first time seeing Arizona QB Tyler Shough in person, and he looked good. Shough is 6'5 with room to add probably 20 pounds in a college strength program. He has easy velocity and a clean stroke. Michigan, North Carolina are among his top offers.

Everything about Tanner McKee is big. Big arm, big body, big delivery. The ball jumps off his hand, but like most 6'6 quarterbacks, the challenge will be control. Can he take the short, quick steps that great quarterbacks make in the pocket? Can the delivery be compact and quick enough? I'm sure the Elite 11 staff will challenge the California product in these areas on Saturday and Sunday.

You don't see many 5'10 quarterbacks succeed, but if anyone can overcome that height to be a college success, it's Re-al Mitchell. He throws the ball with better velocity than you'd expect given his size, and yet does not need a huge windup to do so. Oh, and he's run an 11.03 100-meter time and a 21.87 200-meter. He could make some noise at Iowa State.

This was my first time seeing QB Quincy Patterson, the Virginia Tech commit from Chicago. And I came away impressed by a player with a strong arm, paired with a smooth release. He's a shotmaker and will get better as his footwork becomes more consistent. He could be dangerous in Justin Fuente's offense.

Justin Rogers was late after some flight issues, so I'll focus more on him Saturday and Sunday. But in the limited action I saw, I was encouraged by his continued improvement throwing the football. The TCU commit from Louisiana just keeps getting better.

Joey Gatewood seems to be coming into his own. The enormous Auburn commit has been faced with questions about what position he'll play in college (tight end or defensive end are also options), but he's made significant strides throwing the football in the last year. It can be hard to manage 6'5 and 235 pounds, but Gatewood was better on Friday than I've ever seen him.

Kentucky QB commit Jarren Williams, from Atlanta, just keeps getting better. He looks to have tightened up his motion a bit and put on some muscle. Premier programs are still coming after him, but he told me he is solid to Kentucky after recommitting in May. I look for Williams to continue to rise in the recruiting rankings if he can carry his Friday performance into the weekend.

I'm excited about Missouri QB commit James Foster. You probably already know about his athleticism, but Foster has the chance to be a very good passer. He threw a couple nice balls over linebackers for Touchdowns Friday.

Lefty Texas QB Jalen Mayden recently committed to Mississippi State, which I think is a great match for his skills. When his feet are under control, he delivers a good ball -- both with RPMs and arc. The key will be increasing the frequency with which he sets up with good footwork.

Washington QB commit Jacob Sirmon was more muscled than I realized. At 6'4 and 225 pounds, he's a load to bring down. Sirmon threw some dimes Friday, but also some misses that made me scratch my head. His upside is intriguing.

I... don't have anything written down for Stanford QB commit Jack West? I'll watch the Alabama native more Saturday.

Utah QB commit Jack Tuttle showed why he has continued to climb the rankings since a breakout performance at the Los Angeles Nike Opening Regional a few months ago. Tuttle has good arm, consistent motion, and puts the ball on the money. I think he has one of the highest floors in the 2018 class.

This was the first time I had seen New Jersey QB Devin Leary, an N.C. State commitment. He's not the tallest player at the event, but has a quick release and a much bigger arm than I realized. I'll be looking to see if he can add more touch to his throws, putting them over linebackers and in front of safeties.

Dakereon Joyner is one heck of an athlete, but on day one, it was clear why many schools want him to play receiver, running back or defensive back. The Elite 11 is more about throwing the ball than running it, and when you take his legs away, he has a bunch of work to do as a passer. The ball coming out of his hand just looks different than those of most of the QBs at the event.

But it was just one day. He kept his energy high and was enthusiastic about taking the coaching. On Day 2, I look for him to improve and implement the coaching from Day 1 to the extent that can be done (a delivery won't change overnight). And he is likely to put on a show in many of the pro-day drills Saturday, where some less athletic QBs will struggle.

The key for him will be to pick a school where he can sit for a bit and develop, as opposed to being thrown into the fire on Day 1. He can be a weapon at the QB position if his throwing comes along.

Washington QB commit Colson Yankoff, from Idaho was not participating due to recent surgery to repair a torn meniscus. He should be back by the start of football season.

Utah QB Cammon Cooper, a Washington State commit, is a perfect fit for that offense. He doesn't have the biggest arm, but is quick and compact with his delivery. His delivery reminds me some of former Boise State QB Kellen Moore.

Blake Stenstrom, son of former Stanford and NFL QB Steve Stenstrom looked pretty good. He has a quick release and while you'd expect someone with an NFL pedigree to be polished, it is interesting that he is this comfortable despite not yet being a starter (last year he sat behind Michigan signee Dylan McCaffrey).

This was the first time I had seen Carter Bradley throw live. And while the Jacksonville (Fla.) QB did not blow me away, he also didn't look like someone who didn't belong. I'll be watching him more today.

[brianprobablywill]

Nutso (Joe Mazzello x Reader)

2.5k words of university students joe x reader, nothing but fluff!

(i am quite proud of this one, if i may say so myself)

You’d seen this guy around before. Yeah, he sits in the cafeteria with Ben — whom you shared a class with — every day. You’d always seen them hanging out, even smiled at them, getting smiles in return. You always had the feeling the guy was sweet. He came off as lovable and friendly.

He was with Ben the day Ben had come over to ask you about something that happened in class. You’d made a silly joke and the guy had cackled loudly, giving you a high-five.

Yeah. Seemed friendly. Seemed fun. A little wacky even.

But this… this was nutso. You’d heard many stories on the internet of people pulling stupid shit in college, but you were sure you weren’t going to see it happen in your college days.

But here you were. Staring out of the classroom window as you waited for the professor to show up, watching in shock as this guy — sane little Ben’s best friend — lit himself on fire in front of four other guys, one of whom you identified as Ben, and one girl.

You watched as his face contorted in a mixture of anguish and excitement, jumping as he tried to put it out.

“Aaaaaand that’s twenty. Guys, I’m out!” One of your classmates called out as she got up to her feet, looking at her watch. A few other people followed, chattering frivolously.  

You had decided to wait it out in the classroom, working on some of your own stuff, but fire-guy had you intrigued. Why did he look excited? Why were his friends only watching? Why was Ben laughing so joyously about it?

So after considering it for a few mere moments, you made your way out of the class, too, hoping to catch Ben. It might seem like an awkward conversation to have, because you had watched them creepily through the window the whole time. But your curiosity was going to get the better of you, you had an inkling.

Ben was walking towards the building, shaking his head, when you saw him. “Hey, Y/N,” he casually greeted you.

“Hi, Ben. Heading to class?” You asked, stopping in your tracks.

“Yeah. I know I’m twenty-five minutes late, but I better go,” he laughed. “Are you sneaking out?” He joked, raising one eyebrow.

You laughed along for a second, pretty sure it came off as fake as it possibly could. “Listen, Ben. Could I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he leaned in.

“Your friend, your best friend,” you said, waiting to go any further.

“Joey? Just one of a few best friends.” Ben smiles, almost like he was remembering something. You had a feeling it was what had transpired ten minutes ago.

“Joey. I was looking out the window, just casually looking, and I saw you and your friends - Joey, light himself on fire?” You asked, trying to keep your tone even. You wanted to laugh, but you weren’t going to do it in front of Joey’s best friend.

Ben laughed, “I knew someone was going to see that!” He ran a hand through his hair, rolling his eyes playfully. “He had some stupid bet going with Gwil — one of our friends.”

“Ah.” You said, a little disappointed that it was just a bet. You were hoping for an entertaining elaborate response. Something to keep you amused for the rest of the seemingly bleak day.

“You can ask him about it if you want.” Ben shrugged, nodding his head in Joey’s direction. “He loves talking about the crazy shit he gets up to. New Yorkers, I swear,” He begins walking away.

“I’m a New Yorker.” You mumbled, beginning to contemplate if you were going to go over to Joey. Ben called out to you just then.

“Y/N, he’s a cool guy,” he said, a good thirty feet away from you. “Also, call him Joe!”

Trusting Ben’s word, you began walking towards the now disbanded group. There were only Joe and another guy whom you recognized from your Physics class. Andrew? Alex? Something like that.

The other guy saw you coming over, motioning to Joe. Joe smiled when he saw you, waving. He looked surprised when instead of simply waving you walked right toward him. “Hey, Y/N,” he sounded cheerful. You were a little surprised that he knew your name, but you figured Ben told him after one of the many times you’d waved at the pair.

“Hi, Joe, right? You tried your hand at nonchalance.

“That’s me,” Joe held his arms out, almost hitting his friend. “And Allen,” he introduced.

“Yeah, we have Physics together,” Allen said, “I have to get going. Have fun!” Allen winked at the two of you.

You smiled in his general direction before turning back to Joe. You didn’t know where to begin. Do you ask him how he started the fire? Why he started the fire? That you were watching his every move from the second floor? Finally, you managed a “How’s your arm?”

“From what?” Joe touched his intact arm with his burnt one.

You smiled, “This one,” you pointed, bouncing on your heels.

“You saw,” Joe said, looking the right mix of embarrassed and excited. The right mix.

“Yeah, I was looking out of the window and I saw.” You grinned awkwardly, shrugging.

“You wanna know what happened?” Joe asked, raising one eyebrow. When you did nothing but nod, Joe looked around for a minute, finally saying, “Let’s sit down.” He led you to a wall, sitting down with his back resting against it. His backpack was in his lap. He toyed with a carabiner on his backpack as he waited for you to join him.

You didn’t hesitate for longer than a second before you sat down, too, shrugging your backpack off and resting it on the wall right next to you. Joe mirrored your actions, clapping his hands. “It’s not much of a story. Just thought we could sit down.”

“No problem,” you smiled, taking in his messy hair and toothy grin.

He looked so carefree. So fun. It almost looked wrong for college life. His actions were nothing short of exuberant. He looked like the right guy to be best friends with. You almost got a little jealous that Ben got to spend so much time with him, as did his other best friends.

“Well, Allen and Gwil — Gwil is another friend, he’s really tall and handsome.” He grinned, laughing, “Allen and Gwil were arguing about some lens theory. I asked them what kind of lens I should use if I wanted to start a fire. Gwil very confidently said that it could only be started with a convex lens.”

You were nodding along, listening carefully. You wanted to listen to everything he had to say. You just had to.

“I just wanted to annoy them a little bit, so I bet I could do it with a concave lens.” He smiled.

You raised your eyebrows, shifting to get a better look at him. “But physics!” You argued.

Joe only smiled mischievously, “I didn’t do it,” he fessed, only looking slightly bummed.

“Yeah, how could you?” You asked.

“Hey, not you too!” He tutted before continuing, “So another friend, Lucy, suggested that I light myself on fire as punishment for annoying Gwil. Gwil didn’t refuse, so I did it.”

“You did it?!” You asked incredulously, smiling.

“I did it. It wasn’t too bad. Well, it isn’t too bad now.” Joe smiled, touching his arm lightly.

“You should get some ice on that.” You tried to help.

“I will, I promise.” He held up a hand as Scout’s honor. “But if you don’t mind, I’d like to just sit here for a while.”

You smiled again, “Well, would you mind if I sat here with you?” You asked, slightly nervous. You wanted to sit here. You wanted to listen to more of what Joe had to say. There was just something about him that made you want to get to know him better.

Joe looked at you, mouth open for a second. “You are part of the deal!” He said, “I would like to sit here, with you.”

Something funny coiled in your stomach. A wierd, uneasy feeling that you associated with… goddamn butterflies. No.

No.

“Ben told me you’re a zoology major.” Joe began.

“Uh, yeah,” you said, slightly out of it. You brought your hand to your back, tugging on the end of your ponytail. “I love animals,” you divulged.

“Animals are nice. My favourite is the giraffe.”

“Good choice!” You laughed, “I like Bearcats.”

“Tell me something about Bearcats. Are they half-bear, half-cat?” Joe demanded, resting his chin on his hand.

You laughed at his silliness, “Nope. Full bearcat. They smell like buttered popcorn.”

“No,” Joe drawled out, disbelief riddled in his eyes.

“Yes. They smell like buttered popcorn. Google it!”

“I will, Y/N, because I do not believe that an animal naturally smells like buttered popcorn. I do not.” He crossed his arms across his chest, shaking his head adamantly.

Your phone went off right when Joe opened his mouth to say something. You took it out of your pocket to see that it was your roommate who’d locked herself out of your apartment.

You closed your eyes. “I have to go,” you said, getting up.

“Oh,” Joe said half-dejectedly, holding out his hand so you’d pull him up. You watched as Joe brushed his butt off, looking at you with a final smile. “You should join us in the cafeteria! Generally, it’s just Ben and me — the rest have a different schedule — but we’ll get you introduced to the rest too! We’re a lot of fun.” Joe said proudly. He touched your arm lightly as he continued, “But seriously, you should join us.”

You looked briefly at where Joe had touched your arm, smiling. “Maybe I will.”

And you did. You walked over when Ben waved you over the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that. Getting to know Ben better was cool. He was really sweet.

Getting to know Joe was also… nice. It was nice. It was very nice. Joe was nothing but fun, happiness, and cheerfulness. His energy was intoxicating. You would be lying if you said you didn’t look forward to spending time with him.

So when Joe asked if you wanted to get ice cream with him in the evening — so he could treat you to the best ice cream in New York — you said yes the first chance you got.

To your surprise, there was no Ben. You had actually expected to tag along with Joe, Ben and his friends, and that had filled you with a little bit of dread.  When you saw it was just Joe, waiting in the lobby of your building, you didn’t know whether you should have been relieved or more nervous.

“Hi, Y/N,” he greeted, pulling you in for a side hug. “Are your taste buds ready to have their mind blown?” He said, rubbing his hands together.

You crossed your arms, “My taste buds know what true flavor is. They expect nothing less than magical.”

“It’s ice cream, of course it’s magic!” Joe said as the both of you walked, your arms brushing. Joe made small talk the entire walk. You listened and answered, not focusing too much on the actual words. His hair looked disheveled as ever, as if he’d run his hands through his hair a thousand times. It looked soft, and you almost wondered what it would be like to run your fingers through it.

When you made it, Joe held open the door for you, dramatically exclaiming, “M’lady.”

“Why, thank you, kind sir!” You walked in, watching as Joe shook his head at you, eyes squinted.

“Let me recommend some flavors!” Joe said excitedly, walking over to the display. “Oh, cookie butter is really good. So is blueberry cheesecake. We should ask about today’s special!” Joe said all at once, looking at you questioningly.

“We should.” You grinned.

After a little asking and tasting, you settled on the special while Joe got cookie butter. He held out his cone, “We must first ‘clink.’” He informed childishly.

You ‘clinked’ cones with Joe, mumbling a “Cheers,” in response to his, before you headed outside to sit down on a bench.

“Did you try it yet?” Joe asked.

“I’m going to now.” You told him. Taking a lick, you realized that Joe was right. The ice cream was delicious. Goodness, it was perfect. You closed your eyes, moaning at the taste. “This is so good.” You opened your eyes. “You were right, Joey!”

Joe smiled, simply watching you. He took in your face, blinking softly.

“Joe, your ice cream!” Joe’s ice cream was starting to run down his cone and onto his fingers.

“Oh, shoot!” Joe quickly licked it all up, flicking his hands. “I’m a mess!”

“You’re so dramatic.”

“I have a flair for it.”

You and Joe talked for a while. You discussed your childhoods, what let to NYU, and what the future looked like. When it started to get dark, Joe offered to walk you home. You accepted, taking in the feeling of Joe’s hand on your back. He was walking closer to you than he was on the way to get ice cream. His voice had become softer and shyer over the course of time. You were worried you’d said something wrong.

When you were outside your building again, Joe said, “I’m glad you liked that ice cream.” There was a small smile playing on his lips.

“I’m glad I did, too, I’m going to take my roommate there now.” You said, unable to shake off the feeling of anxiety. “Joe, can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” Joe said.

“Did I do something? You sound… less Joe-like. I’m sorry if I said something, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“No, no, Y/N, you didn’t do anything,” He touched your arm with his hand, letting the touch linger. “I just…” He licked his lips, trailing his hand down your arm to grab onto your hand.

Your breath hitched in your throat. Joe was holding your hand. He was holding your hand.

“Can I try something?” Joe asked, his voice only slightly above a whisper. You nodded, unsure of your words. Before you knew it, Joe was leaning in. His lips brushed against yours, going no further. He pulled away, still in extreme proximity to your face. He chuckled, the nerves evident in his breath. "Was that okay?"

You nodded again, putting your hand on Joe's cheek to draw him in again, this time kissing him a little deeper. Joe brought his hand to your waist, inching you closer to his body. When you pulled away, Joe was out of breath, grinning like an idiot.

"Oh, god." He exhaled.

"What? Was that bad?" You asked, unsure of yourself.

"No, Y/N. That was perfect." Joe pecked you on your lips one last time before pulling away completely. He ran his hand through his hair again, "Wow."

You felt the tips of your ears warming, watching as Joe blushed.

"I'll see you at lunch tomorrow?" He asked, still giddy with excitement.

You pulled him in for a hug, unable to contain how cute he looked like this. "Lunch tomorrow."

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