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simeonist · 7 months ago

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The Uniforms

This one almost goes without saying, right? It's bad. It's symbolic of the coming horrors. The teeny glimpse of cape, the medallions, the heavy belts, the yellow arm spikes, the gold trim on one collar, the black slashes on the sleeves, the red embroidery button holes, the little hook-button-holder detail that would be neat for like, a close-up shot the player would rarely see, the teal button-ups that don't complement the colors of any of their neckties - what is the point of all this? There is so much shit going on in such a small space and for what?

I can't even say it would be better if they dialed it back a bit so everything wasn't competing with each other because most of the details are ugly on their own - Belphie ends up looking the best simply because he's doing the least with it and wearing it properly.

Even the simplified Nightbringer chibis feel like they're drowning in details.

They're chibis! They're not supposed to be detailed!

The uniforms are also customized, made to show off each character's personality quirks, like how Mammon is fashionably sloppy, Levi is... sloppy in an unfashionable otaku way, and Beel is... um... also sloppy... but uh. In a gluttonous way.

If Solmare were smart and not a company eager for their own demise, they would have switched to their not perfect but significantly less awful gakuran suits.

Demon Looks

I'm going to leave out Mammon and Beel's bdsm wear since... idk, I think they succeed at being bdsm wear. Asmo also gets a pass because this game frequently has this 2000-ish anime aesthetic and his belted legged demon form is a rare moment where they execute it all right.

The rest of them?

Hell no. Lucifer's comes out on top because his is comparatively boring, but that doesn't mean it's good, with the mismatched peacock feathers and the hip belt. Somehow he looks like when cosplayers don't adapt anime outfits for how they might look irl and go the literalist route. The same is true for his everyday outfit. It looks like cosplay even though he's 2D.

Diavolo... is... I feel like this is offensive in some way, but I'm not sure why. Maybe just to my senses.

But Levi.

You might think that Levi's demon form, with the open belly hoodie that shows his rippling abs, the mesh panel revealing his rippling abs, and the suspenders that clearly aren't holding up or onto anything but emphasize his rippling abs, might tell us something about his character. After all, Lucifer's kinda hints at his prideful, stoic, nature, Diavolo's at his male big-boobed extrovert personality, Belphie is a cow, Beel is a jock, Asmo's kinda horny, and so on.

And it does! His demon form tells us... that Levi has some vague connection with reptiles that won't really be expounded upon in-game. We know this because his jeans carry a reptile skin pattern and he has a lizard tail. also has antlers, which is a bit like a lizard, when you think about it.

Sorry if you were expecting answers for why the depressed debilitatingly shy boy you have to pry out of his shell before he'll do cosplay is introduced in slutwear.

White Suit

I have to call this one out. It's the only costume where I can't find a single nice thing to say about a single one of them. They are all bad. Across the board.

Like the Frankenstein Butler costumes are bad, BUT! If you got rid of the random ass frakenstein stitches, they'd be tolerable - they even have some subtle design markers I appreciate. The Arabian clothes are Solmare at their absolute worst wrt their bad habit of cramming way too much detail without consideration for cohesion or flow, BUT! I like the top half of Barbatos', I like the vibrant colors, and I'm happy with more visible skin.

I have nothing for the white suits. The first time I saw Diavolo's, I started howling. Like the appeal of a white suit is in its simplicity, right? They're not supposed to be art deco'd out. They don't even go together as a cohesive theme - Diavolo with houndtooth, fur, and glitter, Satan with...holographic tails? How are Beel and Solomon's even WHITE suits?

A Surprise for You

I'm calling this one out because this is my favorite event and I recommend you play it if you haven't. Well worth the 20 dp.

It is insane how bad most of them look. These are 2D cartoon images and they ALL look like they're in the kind of 70s polyester they literally don't even make anymore because technology has advanced past itchy sweaty fabric! Their outfits evoke a heavy, unbreathableness, the colors muted and gross. Diavolo is dressed like you're granddaddy out for a night on the town which ngl is charming in its own way and I love his permanently cocked trilby. What the hell are Mammon's butterflies?

(Hey remember when Solmare had a chance to redeem their original shitty crossdressing event and instead they decided no, we're good with using the above sprite to indicate Mammon's in girl-mode? Just wanted to remind you lol)

I will again give Asmo a pass because I genuinely liked his high waisted pants, turtleneck, and heels. If I squint my eyes, Simeon also looks good.

Satan

You knew he was getting his own section.

We all had that moment. The first time you see his demon form, it's "What's with the ribbon skeleton? Is that a boa? Wait the JEANS?? Where did he even get that belt???" But you got over it. Someone had to be the worst.

Then comes his everyday outfit and it's not THAT bad, honestly. I mean, you can't say you like it, and sometimes you find yourself staring, something niggling at the back of your mind. You could argue Belphie or Asmo's is worse, you tell yourself. Sure the spring green of his sweater is kind of off. Sure, his hand pose highlights that the designer really, seriously picked the wrong shade of green for his nails and they especially don't go with that fit. Sure his belt is weirdly flashy for his personality and will you please just wear your jacket normal? Put your arm in the fucking sleeve. Hold on. Are his jeans studded? On the side?

And then you play through the old events. Maybe it's his cat outfit. Maybe it's the time he wore a button-up over his swimsuit. Maybe you got through the later seasons and finally saw his human world look.

And it dawns on you. This is who he is. In a game drowning in terrible costumes, he's still the worst. Even when the others are bad, he stands out. Out of everyone, he's the one that makes you consider that he has to be wearing this on purpose. He wakes up and puts on his skeleton, his boa, and continues about his day.

Honorable mention

Levi and his stupid giraffe pants.

i would like a full breakdown of why nearly every single outfit in obey me is ugly. its not even moderately ugly, If i were to be in public with them, i would be embarrassed. i look at their sprites and am immediately filled with rage.

#if you've ever read gekkan shoujo nozaki kun #my theory is that there is a powerful manager at Solmare and he's Maeno. I can't believe any other explanation beyond sabotage #I should probably have made my own post lol #I like some of the costumes but they're few and far between #obey me

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margridarnauds · 4 years ago

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I'm very curious about Lady Bess and I would like to know which cast do you prefer or recommend ? I know they have their own particularities but I'm curious about Hirano Aya playing Lady Bess and what are the differences with Hanafusa Mari ?

VERY sorry it’s taken a while, the latest news over here + my frantic packing, have made the last couple of weeks absolute HELL.

Thank you for asking me this! I’m not sure if this is really public knowledge, but Lady Bess was my VERY FIRST Toho musical, I pre-ordered it as soon as the news was announced after pining after the 2014 cast for years and thinking we’d never get to see the full thing. As a result, it’s a bit of a personal baby for me. There’s nothing in the world that can really compare to opening up the package for the first time and...there it was, running to the TV to put it in, and then...there it was, beautiful and opulent and everything that I’d been wanting for ages. I couldn’t really believe I was SEEING it, in all honesty.

Anyway, nostalgia aside, personally...I have a difficult time, with this cast, more than any other, as far as solidly recommending one cast over another. (Honestly, MA is very unusual to me in the sense that I HAVE a clear favorite, most of the time, I end up going back and forth.)

Personally, I definitely do prefer Aya Hirano’s Elizabeth; in my opinion, she really gives her Bess a spine of steal, and you can understand how she can go from the girl at the beginning to Gloriana, and you can tell in Aya’s performance that she considered every aspect of Elizabeth’s character. Even at the beginning, where she’s a young woman, there’s still a polish and elegance to her that reminds me of the report about six year old Elizabeth that said that she had “'with as great a gravity as she had been forty years old'. Yes, she’s young, she makes some very stupid mistakes, but she’s still refined and clever. When Robin is annoying her in the beginning, she doesn’t show her annoyance, instead giving a small, frustrated smile.

Like. “Oh, you.”

She has a very smooth, rounded voice--while her initial training was in anime voice dubs and work as an idol, she moved to the musical world, taking four months to study abroad in New York City (more reasons that I have to have a personal fondness for her - She isn’t one of us, but she GETS us) and it shows in her voice. She has one of the voices that, even if she didn’t have a very distinctive face, with the beauty mark on the left side of her face being an easily distinguishable feature for my face-blind ass, I would be able to recognize it anywhere due to its power and full tone. Probably, overall, one of my favorite actresses in the industry. Absolutely love her and her take on Bess.

Hanafusa Mari’s Bess is less.....canny. During the same scene with Robin, we see her kind of showing her frustration VERY obviously.

She’s significantly less mature, more of a child as opposed to a young woman and, at the end, rather than an adult woman making the best choice for her and her country, I get more the feeling that she’s an instrument of fate, being tugged along like a sailboat caught in a bad breeze.

“Guess I’m queen now, idk.”

Aya Hirano’s Bess, meanwhile, is looking out towards the future. Yes, she regrets, to a certain extent, that she wasn’t able to have a life with Robin, but she’s also looking forward to the future, to the England she’s going to build. She loved Robin, but it was a love that never could have really been anything else. It was kind of that first, high school love that, yeah, was what she needed at the time, when she was alone and (almost) friendless, but they both wanted different things in life and became different people. There would never really have been a future for them with marriage and babies, even without the class difference, and Aya Hirano’s Bess knows it.

I think, looking at them, you can TELL that they both had fundamentally different ideas about the ending of the musical: Hanafusa very clearly saw it as a tragedy; Aya Hirano saw it as, at worst, a bittersweet triumph, and her Bess accepts her destiny with full agency, meeting her future head-on.

I will say, also, that the dynamic with Robin is....slightly....uncomfortable with Hanafusa’s Bess, not the least because Yamazaki has a baby face. It makes them seem very unbalanced when, in fact, they’re supposed to be the same age. I’m all for older women dominating the stage (I’ve never complained about, say, Kazutaka Ishii or Oka Kojiro getting a role that’s generally cast younger, and by God, I’m going to be consistent on this one), and Hanafusa’s to be congratulated on her long career and experience, but I do believe, strongly, that it would have been better for Kato Kazuki to have been her Robin.

Now, onto the Robins.

This is, perhaps, a bit of an unpopular opinion, but I do actually prefer Ikusaburo Yamazaki’s take on the role.

I LIKE Kato Kazuki (I own two Proshots of various things he’s been in and I’m still STRONGLY considering Frankenstein simply so that I can see him fulfill his life’s ambition, I definitely don’t personally hate the man, though he’s one of them that’s never been my ULTIMATE FAVORITE in any role he’s been in. Sorry, Kazuki). He has a good voice, probably one of the steadiest male voices in the industry, and he is currently one of Toho’s most bankable stars, to the point where he’s on my shortlist of actors for calculating the chance of a musical getting a proshot (Furukawa Yuta + Kato Kazuki + Aya Hirano in a replay of a musical? Yeah. This one was getting proshot.)

But. But. He tends to not be particularly on the expressive side, I found that his reactions tend to be a little on the dull side, and I feel like, with a character like Robin, who REALLY needs to sell the romance angle, you really need someone who’s more of a livewire, someone charismatic, someone who can offset Bess’ gravity. And, unfortunately........Yamazaki did that better, in my opinion. I just did not get a really great sense of chemistry from Kazuki, and I feel like he did that Thing he’s been known to do where he just plays The Hero instead of really tailoring his performance to the individual role.

Using pretty much exactly the same facial expression for when his father’s died in front of him (in 1789) VS when he embarrassed himself in front of the pretty girl he just met (Lady Bess.) But his cheekbones are 10/10.

Puppy dog eyes 10/10

“Toss a coin to your Robin, oh valley of plenty”

Mary I

Both Marys did SO WELL in the role, it’s hard for me to really pick a favorite and, after all these years, I’ve still not properly sat down to parse each one’s performance. The role of Mary is vocally and emotionally demanding, as she has to be threatening and villainous, belting out an INTENSE rock-inspired number in a HEAVY velvet gown, while also showing Mary’s loneliness and trauma. Not easy for any actress to pull off, and BOTH of them did a phenomenal job with the role.

Looking over their respective scenes at the end, I feel like Rie Yoshizawa’s Mary had a slight vocal edge, pulling off the final BRILLIANTLY in “Don’t Dance With the Devil” and never making a shift from her chest voice to her head voice, whereas in her co-star’s case, it’s quite audible, though still VERY strong and solid. Which ISN’T her fault, necessarily, given the range required for the song, but it’s definitely something that I did pick up on. Rie Yoshizawa, though, handles it almost effortlessly, even adding a bit of a growl to it. I feel like, of the two of them, she’s more of a trained belter (which makes sense, given that she’s more of a career Toho actress, whereas Yuki Mirai is a trained Zuka actress. AGAIN, it’s nothing against one or the other, but I think that it means that one of them is more likely to go for a belt, the other is more likely to go for head voice.) (Also please keep in mind that my knowledge of the terminology here comes from osmosis + what my aunt, who IS trained has told me when she was trying to critique my car-ride performances of “Evita” + my grade school music teacher. As a result, I am NOT an expert.)

At the end, Yuki Mirai’s Mary seemed to really, really hope that Bess would genuinely change the religion of England back to Catholicism, her face hopeful as she clutches onto Bess’ arms only to fall when Bess only says that she’ll follow her own heart in the matter, whereas in Rie Yoshizawa’s case, there’s a certain resignation to it. She’d HOPED that her sister would respect her wishes, but when she doesn’t, while she’s disappointed, she puts her mask carefully back on, somewhat brusquely asking Bess to bow for her one last time before nearly collapsing when Bess leaves, as that queenly facade crumbles. I do think, that being said, that Yuki Mirai resembles the historical Mary a little more, and I do still like her portrayal. I think that, when I think of Lady Bess’ Mary, I do tend to think of her, though I do think that, when it came down to it, I do slightly prefer Rie Yoshizawa’s take. (Though, again, both of them did a WONDERFUL job with the role and my opinion might change over lunch. I’ve gone back and forth on this one for well over 2-3 years, I’m not likely to come to any solid conclusions any time soon.)

Philip II

............I like both of them, for various reasons, and I think that who you go with depends entirely on what you’re looking for in the role. I fell in LOVE with Genki Hirakata’s strutting, flamboyant prince, and it was really, really obvious that he was having the time of his life in the role. Hirakata played up Philip’s (nonhistorical, going to emphasize that lest I get slammed) bisexuality, which...honestly, I do kind of like, but also does play into the long, long list of examples in Japanese theatre in particular of using LGBT+ characters as either humor, fanservice (LOOKING AT YOU, ZUKA), or as a way to emphasize a character’s villainy or hedonism (Artois 1789).

But also. I totally shipped it. #BessWho.

He’s FUN to watch, he does really make Philip a very memorable character, and of course I was drawn to him at first, because it’s very hard NOT to be. I thought that Furukawa’s Philip, at least at first, was rather colorless and dry in comparison.

But! But! As time went on, I warmed up to him a lot. Furukawa’s Philip is much more of a schemer. Genki Hirakata’s Philip was still a schemer, yes, but he didn’t really emphasize it, and he kind of pulls it out every once in a while only to put it back where it came from (during Gardiner’s downfall, he’s very flippant the entire time, not quite breaking character as the party prince even as he knows, fully well, what the glass of poison contains, while Furukawa smiles, but each smile contains a dagger in it), and, for the most part, is here for a good time, not a long time. When Bess rejects him, it’s a mild annoyance, the same you’d expect (in a best case scenario) from a frat boy who made a bet with his mates that he’d get the girl in the back and she turned him down. He’s frustrated for HIS sake, but it isn’t a personal loss, not really. With Furukawa’s, there’s real FRUSTRATION in there, as he realizes that he’s going to lose England. Furukawa’s Philip might be flamboyant on the surface, but it’s hiding a mind of absolute steel, and he has his own ambitions and plans for the future. I can see how his Philip, very easily, can grow into the Philip II that will set the Armada on England.

I feel like...if you’re interested in Philip as comic relief/ship bait, you’ll like Genki Hirakata’s. If you’re here for Philip as more of a serious villain, Furukawa nailed it.

Overall...I like BOTH casts, for various reasons, though I do think that Star Cast is the best, simply because, in a musical like this.....you HAVE to get the best Bess you can, and I feel like that’s Aya Hirano. The musical revolves around her and what she wants, and she truly OWNS the role. This was the musical that really, really made me appreciate her as an actress and that made me look out for anything she’s been in since, and I can tell that she put a LOT of herself in it.

#long post #lady bess #Elizabeth I #Mary I #since I know there are some people in the tag who are curious about Lady Bess and I don't talk about it all that often #scarletfantasia #aku no hana

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transgalthoughts · 5 years ago

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CW -

sex and drugs and dysmorphia (dun dun dun dun, dun dudun)

Also this is super long don't read it if you're just procrastinating work for 2 mins

There's no point or agenda to this post, except to rant and talk about something I haven't really spoken about before (I've spoken about the events but not the feelings associated with them). I'm a straight guy. I'm kinda more than just like only attracted to girls though, I'm kinda physically repulsed by men's bodies (tbh including my own) regardless of how good a shape they are in. I'm not trying to make any guys feel like crap or like they as men will always be inherently unattractive.

I think the kinda constant admiration of how beautiful all women are but how gross men are which is spouted by male and female comedians constantly is really crap, and probably (along with super strong gender roles of attraction) a large part of why I will never be able to look at my body with anything other than disgust. This isn't even a *trying but not achieving the male standards of beauty* story. I've at several points reached an appearance where I've felt like I was conventionally attractive, but still, abject disgust at my body. There weren't things I was obsessing over which I wanted to change but couldn't I just felt like ny virtue of being a man my body was inherently disgusting: I could be morbidly obese, I could be mr universe, I could be Ryan Reynolds but still my body would be gross, I know I'm repeating myself I just wanna be absolutely clear that I'm not talking about being caught up by unrealistic male beauty standards I'm talking about being caught up by the societal perception that men are inherently somewhat physically repulsive (or at least significantly less attractive than women, simply by virtue of being men).

This belief had been perpetuated in every relationship I have been involved in. I have rarely been complimented by partners on my physical appearance and even then it's mostly been in moments when I have complimented them first and it's never been in any kind of deep *lying down looking at each other* way it's always been kinda offhand. I know obviously that a lot of people don't do the whole *deep lying down looking at each other, complimenting the other* thing but I have in all my relationships so I know it's not just that they found that too barfworthy.

Also, and probably mainly, sex has never really been that fun for me. For me the thing I've liked most about the idea of sex is feeling attractive, even if I'm just feeling like the other person finds me attractive. But I've never had that. In my past relationships when I've gone down on someone, or been having penetrative sex with them, or anything else (which I'm not going into detail about) it's mainly been them like closing their eyes or rolling their eyes back saying it felt really good, only occasionally glancing at me and even then knowing they were just doing it cos they liked knowing I was looking at them even if they didn't give a shit about what I looked like and I was essentially just a sex toy which made them feel desired. And I just can't find any type of sex that doesn't just make me feel like I might as well be in a boiler suit with a bag over my head because my physical appearence is so inherently separated from any enjoyment of the sex. I've even told some of these people how I have felt about this and asked them if they could try making eye contact with me more or saying I look hot or whatever but they just never did or said it felt unnatural. One of them was even bi so I know it wasn't just how they are used to and enjoy having sex it's how they are used to and enjoy having sex with men. But suffice it to say all this has kinda got me to the point where I just don't know if I can handle being in another sexual relationship. I would feel like a liar to pretend to be asexual when I'm definitely not, just because I don't ever have good experiences with sex despite knowing exactly what it would take for that to change but not being able to get that because every girl I have been with has wanted to try out BDSM but not felt comfortable maintaining eye contact or complimenting me during sex. Although I definitely think that unless I find someone who actively, I mean realistically in all areas, but physical appearance being the major one, just treats me exactly how they want to be treated down to the letter (and not just someone who hypothetically agrees with me that the best relationships are based on treating the other person exactly how you want to be treated but then realise after a couple months that they actually quite like the genderisation of relationships in certain areas). Like if people were honest about it it would be fine, I could just filter out 90% of the population and date the 10% that do want to interact like that but no one is. Every girl I have been with has agreed that they want a relationship based on the assumption that in every situation, unless otherwise explicitly stated, you behave exactly towards your partner as you want them to behave towards you and that gender shouldn't factor into any kind of relationship expectations, everyone I have dated has agreed with that either just after we started dating or before we did, and not one of them has continued to agree with that even 1 month down the line, so it's not just that I have a smaller pool of people to date from it's that I will have to date, I would imagine around 9 people, before I found 1 that actually made me feel like they maybe found me attractive. And maybe I am just ugly, but I also have had lots of people have crushes on me, about 10 people that I know of in secondary school who actually told me they liked me, and around 7 at uni so far who have told me that they liked me.

Anyway at one point after the longest time single I have been since 15 I went to a bar/club by myself cos hey maybe I could pick someone up or maybe I could make some friends for a night. I don't know why I thought this, I am pretty socially anxious, and have never even attempted to hook up with anyone before (only been in several long term relationships) which is why I'm pretty certain those crushes can't have come from my charm. Anyway I met some gay guys in the first bar and immediately gave up on attempting to hook up with someone and they adopted me for the night, and it was great fun, honestly the only night out I have actually enjoyed because I was only dancing with other guys so wasn't anxious about accidentally touching anyone and didn't need to constantly human shield the women in the group from creeps. Then I went back to theirs and one of them fell asleep immediately, The other guy got me to like try on different tight clothing like he was like *oh do you wanna get out of your jeans and wear my joggers* (which were super tight and not comfy at all as they were a non-flexible material) so I did, and then I just sat down on his bed next to him and he started slightly touching me up, unbuttoning my shirt a little bit, that kinda thing. Then he offered me some coke (until then I had literally only had alcohol both that evening and in my life). We did 3 or 4 lines each and I know that sounds like a lot but it didn't really affect me, which is weird because I now know that I get affected by weed really strongly (half a blunt will have me talking out loud to myself and the people I am with, with several different personalities or characters) and cigarettes probably affect me about the same amount as weed. I want to make it clear that I was still in my right mind (just with less anxiety and kinda amped up for anything) before I say the next bit because otherwise the next bit will make the guy sound like a complete arsehole, and he wasn't. Then we started talking a lot and he kissed me, tbh the kissing might have been enjoyable physically if he didn't have a lot of stubble but alas he did. But still we hooked up, I ended up giving him a BJ and the whole time I just, felt incredible. I wasn't horny at all but I have never felt attractive before, and I felt it so so much then it was the best feeling I've ever had. I know what you're thinking *that was probably the coke* but it wasn't because I felt like that before the coke, just not as strongly cos the activity/desire level was lower at that point.

And I've never felt like that since. Idk how to reconcile the fact that that sex gave me the biggest boost with the fact that it was also the only sex I have had where I felt absolutely no sexual desire whatsoever, my desire was simply to be desired.

Random sidenote this whole experience helped me in another way because he gave me very positive feedback on my BJ technique which meant I could actually give one of my female friends advice on BJs (she was willing but super nervous about her performance with a guy she was into) since I have both experienced and given them so I feel like I also gave back to the community.

I feel like I should make a point/ask a question with this even though it is 'Ox' 'fess' so a point is by no means obligatory, even if most posts do include them.

Do any other guys or gals or non-binary pals also feel like this or had similar experiences

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach/deal with this (even if you have no experience, I am well and truly clueless about how to approach this)

If you're in a long term relationship with someone and you think they look nice at any point please don't just think it, say it out loud. I know it might seem cringe but honestly it might make the absolute world of difference to them.

And also I just wanna add like I'm sorry if this came across as aggressive. I am pissed off with society as a whole, and my experiences have frustrated and fucked me up a lot, which is why this has a lot of frustration, but that's frustration at the fact that I found myself deeply unhappy in relationships with people who were pretty nice and I had a lot in common with, but because of quite rigid gender expectations in certain areas found myself unable to feel like I was valued on some of the things that for me being valued in is pretty crucial for a relationship. Idgaf if most people don't think I'm attractive but I need my partner to think I am, and unfortunately have yet to get that feeling.

Anyway that first bit is actually a lie. I am actually a trans woman (lol in case you didn't guess from my name), but this is my experience from living as a straight guy. I'm now wondering if those feelings come from being trans, or if they're something unrelated, or if it's somewhere inbetween, or if I'm just a weirdo.

#trans #transwoman #body positvity #body positive #relationship #gender roles #gender equality #gender dysphoria

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wishingfornever · 6 years ago

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1/16/2018 – No Contact: Historical Nonsense

Current time, 3:33am. I’m not dead.

Rather, I feel dead. Saw the movie Alexander. Long, long movie. Not very well received it seems. I enjoyed it. A lot of historical accuracies as well as inaccuracies. Good details, though. A lot of nods and references here and there. Though I wish it touched more upon the siege of Tyre. Or any siege, really.

A couple days ago, Esther’s spectre haunted me. In a dream. I realized it was a dream because I was happy. Horrible, eh? I’ll ignore that for now. Work yesterday was terrible. Like, so… so busy. I felt like I could die. So, when I say I feel dead I mean it. New shoes. Bad shoes, I fear. Wore them out of necessity.

There is more. Can’t imagine what. My mind is like a cave, dripping and echoing. I’m tired but I’m glad I saw the movie. Again, surprised it was poorly received.

I like how they start off in the Battle of Gaugamela. A lot of cuts back and forth between Alexander’s campaign and his personal life. There was a part that went too long with Shah Dariush. Or Shahnashah or whatever. He was an emperor. Can’t be bothered looking up the Persian word for it.

Anyways, it lasted a little long but I have to say the Shah had very pretty eyes. No homo.

Actually, a lot of the men were really attractive. This is coming from a hetrosexual male. Very handsome, mostly. I’m not sure why. I do appreciate how the characters were COVERED in scars. Alexander saw A LOT of fighting. During one of his sieges, he got stuck behind the walls by himself. He was surrounded and killed 12 people before Macedonian forces could relieve him. I believe he was relatively short with different colored eyes. That’s all I can remember.

Admittedly, I’m more familiar with the names in Alexander than in Troy. More familiar with what happens, at least. That’s the problem with these movies, you know what’s going to happen. Something that I found interesting and I’m not sure if it were intentional is that it seemed like the Macedonians had slight Irish accents. However, Non-Macedonian Greeks had regular English accents. This may be because the actor who played him was Irish, but I suspect maybe it was for a different reason? I recall hearing a story about how Macedon wasn’t really that Greek. The Persians referred to Macedonians as “Greeks with Hats.” They saw them as Greek but they were different. In fact, they were different enough for Alexander to almost get denied to participate in the Olympic games because he wasn’t Greek enough.

Of course, he’s a hero in Greece today. Great Greek general, him. So Greek. So long as it’s AFTER he does something significant. -,-

Greeks… what you are and who you are. In the movie, people kept talking about how they were descended from some hero or god. Typical, right? Ariel does something similar, I guess. Of course, she claims to be descended from Alexander’s line. Which… may be possible? Cousins at some point, maybe? Idk, she may have claimed to be more closely descended. Because Alexander’s mother was Albanian, or whatever. She was from Epirus which was basically Greek but with some Illyrian influences. Illyria, of course, is Ancient Albania. In fact, modern Albanian is supposed to be a more modern form of the old Illyrian language. Pretty neat, right? I think Angelina Jolie used an Albanian accent to reflect this which is interesting.

Now that we’re back on accents, they got a lot of shit for being Irish. But because they were sort of the outcasts of Greece, it’d be appropriate for the Macedonians to have an Irish accent while the rest of Greece has English accents. Really, the accents shouldn’t matter too much but should be consistent. It helps to differentiate different peoples, like I sort of mentioned.

Macedonians are a Dorian Greek people. For those who don’t know, there are four tribes of Ancient Greeks and Dorians are one of them. Spartans were Dorians as well. Athenians were Ionians. Between Athens and Macedon were Aeolians. A bit Northwest of Sparta were the Achaeans. However, Macedonians are CLEARLY not Spartans. Obviously. In fact, when Gaugamela was won, Alexander sent a tribute to one of the Temples (I think Delphi which is an Aeolian city, iirc) talking about how the tribute was a gift from “Alexander, Son of Philip, and all the Greeks except the Spartans.” They did their own thing, being boring and laconic as well as entirely overrated.

That said if Macedonians speak with Irish accents then their Dorian cousins should speak… with Scottish accents! Ta da! Because they’re cousins, sort of. Like the Irish and Scottish. Eh? Eh?! They’re Celts, see. And the Scottish were actually Irish settlers that mixed with the local Picts. Super related.

The entire point, however, is for the characters to be clearly understood. They can have American accents for all it matters, so long as when they say the Greek words they say it correctly. And in Greek. Maybe then say it with a Greek accent but only then. And even then, it wouldn’t be the same MODERN Greek accent.

Foreigners who don’t speak the language of the main characters (in this case Greek) should still have accents, though. This reflects that the language they learned to speak is different from the one they’re speaking. This is why the emphasize certain sounds or whatever. Thus, the Persians having Iranian accents? It might not be the BEST for clarity’s sake, but it doesn’t matter. It’s what Alexander and his generals would have heard. We hear from their perspectives.

Speaking of Alexander and his generals, I was disappointed that there was a lack of colors. The shields should have at least been painted, not including the armor which was most likely also painted and designed because why not? Regardless, each shield would have been different to a point. At least in earlier armies. I’m not certain about Alexander’s forces. I heard that he paid for the arms and armor for his men. Maybe not entirely but up to a certain point.

Still, the clothing would have been different colors at least. Red, blue, yellow. Common colors. Purple, not so much. That’s hard to get so it’s super rare historically. Purple dye was worth more than it’s weight in gold back then.

Most everyone seemed to wear white linens. I mean, I get it… you think of Greece, you think of white marble. And linen. And buttstuff. Not the point. The point is, colors are great. Really should have some more.

Something else that I do appreciate is that Alexander was wearing a long sleeved shirt. As you could perhaps guess, long sleeves weren’t really a thing Greeks did. Or… shirts, for that matter. Really, they had this thing called chiton which is like this flat cloth that they clip on. Super simple. They’d also leave one shoulder bare at times. Don’t confuse the chiton with the toga. The toga is significantly longer.

The greeks left the right shoulder bare because they thought leaving a left shoulder bare was barbaric. At least, when you had to cover a shoulder. I mean, the greeks were fine with total nudity. In fact, children existed almost entirely naked up to a certain age. And seeing someone run through town naked was like, “Really? Who cares?” And if at least a bottom was worn, a bare chest wasn’t the end of the world.

Rather, the bare should was just for if you had to expose a shoulder. Like, choose one and they chose the right one because the left is something barbarians would do.

Strangely enough, Alexander’s campaigns ended in India where some local traditions keep the right shoulder bare for different reasons. Coincidence? Perhaps but I’m inclined to think perhaps something else is at work. Aliens with poor fashion sense.

I was reminded of Ariel a lot during the movie. Not because she claims to be descended from Alexander but because her internet persona tends to involve diamonds or Athena. Athena is a big thing with her for the obvious reasons. She loves knowledge. And the library of Alexandria? She is really big on that. Just finished Assassin’s Creed Origins, she did. Where she deals with Cleopatra, which is the third Cleopatra from Ptolemy’s lineage who is the narrator from the movie. You know, the bimbo in the carpet, the seducer of Roman emperors. Her.

Yeah, she’s Greek! Interesting, eh? Not sure how Greek as if Ptolemy took an Egyptian wife and if his son took an Egyptian wife and so on and so on. But still, Greek.

Anyways, Ariel looks… A LOT like Angelina Jolie. Like, a lot. Except Angelina Jolie is slender and perhaps a bit shorter, Ariel is as tall as me and a bit less slender. Not to say she’s fat or big boned or even thick. Rather, she is strong. She isn’t as slender but she doesn’t need to be. She is like Angelina Jolie but instead of a Macedonian queen from Epirus, she were a TITAN!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!

I told Ariel this a long time ago. I was unsure how she’d receive it but she took it really well. She thought Angelina Jolie was the most beautiful person on earth. Or at least most attractive. She’s a great actress, too. If I were Alexander and she were my mom, then I’d want to fuck her too. Let’s be honest. It’s just wincest at that point. ;) Kidding, kidding. Though I have wanted to make a joke about how the worst part about being good looking is that your cousins are good looking but you have to say no. :3 I do have attractive cousins, mind you. Not just Adela. Like, I come from a good line. Very handsome men very beautiful women. When I was younger, I had a crush on one of my cousins. Then on one of my aunts. I won’t get into it but I thought they were really pretty and I was like, “Gasp!” Lol, that sidetrack. Anyways, I like how it sort of implied that Alexander knew the wine was poisoned. Saw the gorgon in it and still drank it. Saying he killed himself to be with his old lover, who was very attractive. I think it’s the Joker from Suicide Squad. Can’t remember his name but I recall his face from American Psycho. He was the one who thought Huey Lewis and the News were alright. ;) The armor… oof. From what I can tell, MOSTLY accurate with a lot of real world inspirations. Some armors here and there were a bit “What?” but were good for the most part. A lot of these helmets running around, but do you see the tall helmets that sort of curve forward? It looks sort of like a bronze smurf hat. Those are Phrygian helmets and they were VERY popular at the time. I think they look disgusting, but some can look alright. The Phyrgian look carried on YEARS after. Well into the Medieval Era and even during the time of Napoleon and beyond, you’d still see crests that are inspired by these old helmets. Mostly French, of course, because they wish they were Greek for… reasons. Can’t be that Greek, their capital was named after a Trojan. HA!!!

Some things I didn’t like was how they referred to their own world as the “Known world.” It should have just been “The world.” And even then…

They also referenced Carthage, Sicily, and Rome. Um… sure, they exist. In fact, the Siege of Tyre, Carthage took in Phoenician refugees who were escaping the city. Very profitable. And Sicily… I mean… um… Half of it belonged to Carthage. The other half was Syracuse. Just say Syracuse, which was a city settled by Dorian Greeks as well. You’re already planning to conquer Carthage, you’ll conquer Syracuse and complete Sicily. Then the “Roman tribe”? No, Rome was CERTAINLY not a tribe at this point. They were a city-state, very similar to Greek city state but they ran off a Republic system at this point. And that’s a very specific city state to mention. Why not the Etruscans or Umbrians? Or you could say “Italians�� or “Latins” or whatever. Or mention the Greek colonies in southern Italy.

Whatever…

Something else he says is that they’re “Strong fighters.” Compared… to who? To Greeks? I don’t believe they fought Greeks at this time… in fact, I’m fairly certain they are still fighting their neighbors. Umbrians, Etruscans, Samnites, Apullians, and even some Celts. I mean, they consolidated SOME power from neighboring Latin tribes… but they haven’t really fought any Greeks until AFTER Alexander died.

I think that was just a sort of nod to what Rome will accomplish. Personally, I think Rome is overrated. Especially since they always seem to do REALLY poorly at the beginning of all their wars. It’s later in the wars when they become competent enough to achieve anything.

Also, there is a scene where they’re looking at mountains in the Hindu Kush. It’s a man’s face but the face is comprised of mountains. I was waiting for this scene because I’ve seen the movie before… however, I only remembered it as the outline of a face, screaming out in pain. The face I saw? Was more derpy than I remember. Just sort of there, creeping and lurking. Saying, “o hai wut u doin?! Doin anithin fuuuuuuuuun?!” It’s a very annoying face which is why they went into India. Obviously.

Jokes aside, I did enjoy the movie. Perhaps more than Troy. Long, though. Very long. Could have been shortened some but… still.

Going to head to bed soon. Before I do, Gaugamela. The light infantry running with the horses was totally true. That happened. What might not have happened would be the Persians doing war cries or war chants or whatever back at the Greeks.

You see Dariush motioning silently to his men whereas Alexander barks orders. Persian orders were relatively silent. I remember reading somewhere that this was a stark contrast to Greeks who were always shouting because they were trying to intimidate their enemy by saying, “Yeah, I’m bad, and if you get close I’ll stick you!” Of course, you get accustomed to this. That’s how battles work. You know they’re just as mortal as you are. So, when Persians invaded Greece? War changed. Where Greeks yelled and shouted, the Persians said nothing. Their faces were usually covered and they were very quiet. The comparison I heard was that they were basically like space invaders, so foreign and strange that it actually intimidated the Greeks. It was frightening that this faceless and vast foe said nothing while you fought. They’re nothing like the monsters you knew. That’s what makes them scary.

Anyways, I could go on and on about the movie. I think I’ll stop here. I need to go to bed. I don’t work tomorrow but I have to do dishes. It’s weird because I haven’t been here at all basically and the dishes are stacked REALLY high. Adela… -,-

It’s fine. She just ate more than expected. It’s weird how quickly she goes through dishes. Today is another day. In a couple of days, it’ll be Esther’s birthday. I hope it’s a good one. I won’t message her, even though she’ll expect it. Not even on the 20th when we met in person.

I’m out of her life. It was easy for her. Maybe she’ll get out of mine, too. Good night.

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