#it might be a little weird and rambly bc my brain is a little scrambled

[endternal]

lee taemin. nonbinary. he/him. asexual. ⇝ hey, isn’t that karam shin ( nickname: eden )? i think that the thirty-one year old from redacted works as a florist at the flower basket; toxicologist for the grim fox, but outside of that people describe them as the reflection of the moon over rippling water, a bubbling stream lapping against the rocks and the cool spray of the river; hands running through hair, nails digging into skin, a lonely figure hunched over in an empty room. i hear they are solitary & unusual, but they are also known to be intelligent & unswerving. consider giving them a visit at their home in the seal harbor apartment complex and get to know why they’re called the restless spirit.

IMPORTANT LINKS: pinterest.

IMPORTANT: Karam is nonbinary. His general presentation is sort of androgynous but he certainly does not identify as a man so please don't refer to him as one! (boy is okay, so long as it's not being used to infantalise, and anything a little more grey area (e.g; dude and guy and so on) is generally fine). He uses he/him pronouns solely because he's used to them and he's a little resistant to change. He does not mind being referred to as they/them but he doesn't personally make use of those pronouns.

BASICS

The first thing most people will pick up about Karam is that he isn't very talkative, nor is he very emotive. He's not incapable of emoting and he's certainly not emotionless but he's not especially good at expressing himself (particularly in a way that's useful to other people) so he doesn't bother. As for talking, he just doesn't feel like it most of time. There are times where he might talk about something at length but, for the most part, he keeps it to a minimum. This means he has a habit of being quite blunt and curt but it doesn't really bother him, even if it bothers other people. (That said, he doesn't speak in a monotone; the way he speaks is quite measured but that's about it.) He's more expressive and more talkative around people he genuinely likes.

However, the people he genuinely likes are few and far between. Karam is, overall, very untrusting. He is especially untrusting of people who aren't fellow miroir and, because there is, for the most part, no immediate to separate the miroir from everybody else, there is nobody he instinctively trusts. He is hyperaware of his status as a miroir and the fact that people would likely fear or hate him if they knew the truth about what he was.

Karam has a deep affinity for nature. His whole upbringing was spent among nature. There are times where he'd rather be among the trees than other people. This is precisely why he's taken up work as a florist. He's not made for retail at all and his customer service skills are non-existent but being around plants all day puts his mind at ease.

He knows a lot about plants (and other stuff like wildlife, rocks, water, whatever else) and even more about which plants can definitely kill you. Actually, he just knows a lot about poison in general. You can pin that one on the whole toxicologist thing.

Absolutely one of those people who will sneak up and appear behind you when they want to talk and freak you The Fuck out. As in, you won’t hear him coming and he won’t announce himself. He’ll just show up and you won’t notice him until you turn around. And, no matter how often he’s told, he’s not going to understand that’s it maybe not a regular thing to do (or, at the very least, he might try to understand but he’s not going to take it on board).

Karam is autistic. Not diagnosed. (yes, a second autistic phoebe oc.....gotta make ur own representation around here <3 although tbh, i did not plan on writing karam as autistic. he just ended up extremely autistic-coded and i decided to commit :D ) HOWEVER!! I want to be clear that the references later in this post to Karam being very good at memorising a lot of information should not be seen as some kind of Autistic Savant stereotype. Karam is very smart but he's not some kind of cartoonish genius. He also straight up sucks at retaining information he doesn't care about.

Likes to feed the rats living in the Seal Harbor apartment complex. Nobody's caught him doing it as of yet but the Mysterious Rat Feeder isn't popular with his neighbours.

Karam hates loud and busy places and will avoid them. Maybe not at all costs but fervently enough. He just finds them VERY overwhelming.

Spent the first part of his life outside of the Grim Fox homeless. He can't remember how long it was because he never kept count. He got by as best he could by living on the streets and stealing food.

He is also asexual, largely because I just can't see him caring about sex. He's not sex-repulsed, just disinterested. I'm not sure quite where he falls with regards to romantic attraction but it's probably somewhere between biromantic and aromantic; it's not something I've had a chance to explore yet but he's also not particularly interested in that either.

BACKSTORY (tw: death, murder, v brief vomit mention)

a fair note in advance, most of this is written in a deliberately vague and cryptic way. i know this isn't the most accessible way of delivering info about a character but karam's backstory is meant to be a little unclear! it's also very much subject to change as i work stuff out!

He has no delusions about what he is. His face isn't his own, his body isn't his own, his DNA is not his own. He's a twisted reflection of some distant unfortunate but the image in the mirror is too sharp. Sharpened to the point of distortion, in fact. But what is his own is his name; Karam. The nickname 'Eden' was granted to him as a matter of necessity but Karam was entirely his own. Who knows what the Original's name was? Who cares? The name Karam is his own. A marker of his own identity. Abandoned and tossed aside, Karam has no plans to step into a life unknown to him. Karam, an old Korean word meaning river. Nothing is static, only fluid. Ever-flowing. (He had asked his handler if he could choose own name. They had taken pity on him and allowed it; he was just a clone, he wasn't meant to have a life of his own so it was the least they could offer him.)

There is very little, in fact, that Karam knows about the person he was intended to replace. They were not very old, just a child, when they vanished. There was no history for Karam to learn, nobody for him to imitate. The fake has outlived the genuine. What little details Karam had known have long since slipped through his fingers, replaced only with the harrowing knowledge that he shouldn't exist. That he's different. Do people look at him strangely? Do they suspect him? No, they have know way of knowing the truth. But, if they did know, wouldn't they hate him? Would they even see him as a person? Or just the ghost of a child who was never supposed to grow up?

He'd been raised as a toxicologist, adept in all sorts of poisonings. Subtle. Showy. Painless. Agonising. Natural. Chemical. They'd decided that his talent for quick memorisation, his ability to absorb information, had made him perfect for the job. You wouldn't necessarily know it to look at him but in that head of his is a seemingly endless list of ways to kill a person. He might even tell you so, not that you'd believe him. A pretty boy like that, knowing such dreadful things? Surely not. (Don't pay too much attention to the boy at the flower shop, he's a little strange.)

He was deployed as a toxicologist too. Was even active for a good while. Karam has a body count and he can't quite remember the exact number. There was never any reason to, he was just following orders. Didn't even flinch when he watched, from a safe and hidden distance, as his mark choked on his own vomit. Karam was good at his work. He may have been a fraud of a person but he was a genuine toxicologist and he excelled in his work. (The more time he spends in Anchorage, the more the numb sting of guilt starts to burn in the back of throat; back then, he'd never thought of his targets as people because he'd been so cut off from the rest of the world but being forced to live in the real world has put things into perspective.)

Suddenly, it all stops. Orders that used to trickle in like raindrops dried up; a drought of purpose. He's not useful anymore. He's nothing. His whole life had been built on strict rules and a particularly routine, and it had all fallen apart before he could make sense of it. They'd left him out in the cold, thrown him aside like an unwanted plaything. And yet he was too detached from reality to hate them or even feel angry. He was only afraid. It did not take him long to learn that there was no place for somebody like him in the real world. Because he knew himself to be an outcast, he immediately fell in with the wrong crowds. Did things he shouldn't. He was young, lost and confused.

But he was found one night, lying sprawled out on the concrete and barely conscious, by a kind and unexpected stranger. They took him back to their place, helped clean him up. They let him stay a while, because he had no home to go to, and helped him get a job at the flower shop. And, then, when he had the money to rent his own place, they let him leave. He had been a distant guest, mostly keeping to himself and revealing very little of his own history but he had been grateful for their help, even if he had never been able to show it. (will probably submit this as a wanted connection at some point!)

Although he does his best to pretend otherwise, Karam never quite adjusted to his new life. Assimilation hasn't come easy to him. He still thinks himself an outsider, a ghost amongst the crowds. A glitch in the system. He likes to leave the city, from time to time, to explore the wilderness and woodlands of the region. He feels grounded there, away from people. There's no judgement there amongst the trees. No shame, no guilt, no hopelessness.

His work at the flower shop is not all that fulfilling and he feels like there's still a great big cavity in his chest; his expansive knowledge of flora is put to good use but he doesn't feel as though he's doing anything. And it makes him feel restless.

Please note that this character is not just a character I've been writing for a while (since 2019) but actually an alternate take on that character. In his original storyline, Karam isn't actually human. I thought it'd be fun to write him in setting anyway so this is kind of a human AU for him? This isn't really smth anybody else needs to keep in mind but [lease be patient with me if it takes me a minute to make everything work with this version!

[pricegouge]

Had an EXHAUSTING work week so I literally slept my Friday and Saturday away, and I was rereading some of your dark fics again and like... (I know you're not accepting requests or anything rn so this is purely just me rambling to empty my brain) but I just know if some of your renditions of the 141 abducted me to turn me into a sweet little pet or cute little housewife, they might actually be unnerved by how willingly I'd go with them LOL

Soap plucking a cute little reader as a present for the rest of the boys, expecting some kicking and fighting, but maybe only after a moment of squirming and panicking, reader immediately settles down. Soap chops it up to being some kind of survival response (probably has seen it once or twice in other victims he's snagged).

But then he brings reader home and everyone is expecting the usual 'adjustment period' that comes with a new pet, but reader seems to settle down almost instantly. Sure she quivers and looks at them with wide eyes bc this is still a very new setting to suddenly be in, but other than that, she doesn't make a single peep of complaint.

Simon thinks she's lowkey a freak, tries to get a laugh about it - but maybe reader came from a really shitty living situation, or abusive relationships were the norm. So suddenly being given the perfect escape from the mess that was her life is something she takes as a blessing in disguise. Once she learns the boys aren't going to bruise her or neglect her like other people have, she becomes downright needy for their affection and attention.

Food being brought to me, so I don't need to set alarms to remind myself to eat??? Someone whipping something yummy up and bringing it to me on the dot, making sure I've eaten it all?? Hashtagblessed.

They sit me in a nice warm tub and wash me??? Make sure I'm all clean and even trim my nails/make sure I don't anxiously pick at my skin til I bleed? Hashtagblessed.

Where life was once chaotic and unpredictable, suddenly all the previous stresses are gone and replaced with routine, stability, and a few other comforts that the reader couldn't originally have? Hashtagblessed.

Unlike others, instead of complaining about wanting to go home, or begging not to be killed, she's complaining that she can't snuggle up with Price as he smokes and reads work reports - and the way he leans back on his chair as he looks over papers is so inviting!! The perfect spot to rest her head on his chest as she settles on his lap.

Kyle panics at one point bc he was helping Johnny bring in supplies and groceries, and the front door was left open without anyone checking to see if the pet is in her cage. Before he can scramble to Price to ask if he's seen reader, he finds her sitting obediently on the floor next to Simon as he cleans his gun, head resting on his thigh, mind turned off just from watching him effortlessly take the thing apart to clean and oil it, almost even napping, totally unbothered. Until Kyle had disturbed the dust and now she's blinking up at him all confused as he tries to come down from his panic high.

Before they even realize it, reader is snuggling up in bed with them each night without any of them having to chain her down or lock the doors - she's still there in the mornings. Reader even starts helping out around the house of her own volition after maybe a month of what SHE considered being spoiled, but was the 141 still thinking she was in the adjustment period.

Now she's waking up each day with Price to get started on the coffee and breakfast as the others wake up. Shuffles to them when they walk to the kitchen one by one and clings to them all sleepy as 'good mornings' are said. They don't need to ask if she slept well, her bedhead is enough of a tell.

Simon is still the one most weirded out by how easily reader just accepted her fate and slotted herself into their lives, but even he's agreeing with the others that like, nah, this is the one we've been lookin' for all this time, no need for anyone else, reader is perfect.

Maybe while they're all wrapped up in their new domestic bliss, someone from reader's old life has filed a missing person report, maybe half the town has been searching for her, none of them realize it. Until they go into town with her one day (maybe reader needs a haircut - the boys only know how to do military buzzcuts or trims (savages!)) And suddenly they have a little cluster of people asking where tf reader has been she's been missing after all!!

141 think they might have to cut and run, hop towns until they're not wanted any more - but Reader is just like 'I'm not missing??? I've been here the whole time???'

When people start accusing the 141 of abduction, reader pipes up 'nah I just moved in with them, its not like that???'

The person from their life before shows up and she looks them dead in the eye with a frown on her face. 'Who are you?'

She just takes Price's hand and is like 'okay well we have shopping to do, bye' and is the one to drag them all away, like hello we have a schedule to stick to???

They decide to move towns anyway, just to get away from the person reader pretended not to know, and after a few months of peace the obituary lists their death off from some unfortunate accident, totally unrelated to any of the boys at all, and reader doesn't even bat an eye.

fellow shit week haver what's up 👊🏻

So, unfortunately, if we're talking the Haul boys like I'm assuming we are, you've made one bad miscalculation in that they will not be any less abusive than your exes and will def leave you battered from time to time. But yes, they will take outright pride in providing you a home and a schedule and sustenance. Which makes you absolutely perfect for them when accept it all so graciously

Gaz and John accept it almost instantly, both desperate for a sweet little thing to dote on who's gracious and sweet. Gaz starts having movie nights with you within a month, lugging a TV set down to you at least once a week because you can't be trusted top side quite yet in case he falls asleep to whatever cutesy romcom you've chosen. He calls them date nights, gets mad at the receivers he's delivering to if they keep him held up too long on those days. Surprises himself the first time he lets slip his baby's home waiting on him.

John clocks your need for structure instantly, it being a trait he's seen all too often in the service. He's all too happy to provide it, softening the schedule he's set for past victims dolls when he sees how quickly you take to it. You get lunch, for a start. He even eats it with you most days, a new adjustment that works out for both of you, as John didn't used to bother with it either. And if they find meds in your bag, or your car, John's got clocks set and pill caddies ready to ensure you get the proper dosage on time.

When he's not too busy basking in the glory of bringing home the little wifey, Soap's the one who spends the most time with you, at least when you're still locked in your basement room. He's always telling you how proud he is of you, how well you've done in accepting your position. He's the one that finally convinces Price you can be trusted to wander the warehouse, though John near has a conniption when Soap does this by placing a knife in your hand and laughing when you just drop it back to the floor with an uncomfortable grimace.

Like you said, Simon takes the longest. He's not used to having such a pretty thing loving on him so well, but he's fiercely protective of you once he figures out you're not going anywhere. Even when they've all generally accepted you can be allowed out in public, Simon doesn't let you out of his sight. You're a bit offended at first, thinking he still doesn't trust you even after all the work you've put into giving him a home. But the first time some man comes sniffing around you and Simon scares him off with little more than a look, you understand what he's really up to.

The sense of relief you feel when they show you your own obit surprises you, just a bit. You've long since given up bothering psychoanalyzing your desires when it comes to your husbands, but you expect at least a little fear to swell up in you at the proclamation of your own death. You're well and truly theirs now, no one looking for you ever again. You wait for the fear to come, wait even longer. You're still waiting when John gives you a set of keys weeks later and tells you he's bought a nice house in the suburbs, jokes about how you won't have to sweep up concrete dust everyday anymore. But i's not fear that flips your tummy when you think about the life you have planned with them.