#it just sucks bc any time I'm going thru something that's hurting me I feel like I just pressed a reset button on a lot of my progress

[tittyinfinity]

you ever get so depressed that you just stare at a wall for 6 hours

[sunlightandsuffering]

lys, hi. this video randomly popped up on my fb -- yes, it's the most accessible socmed platform where im from - feed (a friend shared it), and i just got so sad again.

https://www.facebook.com/share/v/neA4nN4tMTANdAwo/?mibextid=uSdriS

obviously, this is fiction, right? and i usually am so good at releasing it all out once im done internalizing it in my head. it's very stressful lol but i think it makes media content enjoyable, at least for this sort of media. the song isn't really something i've given a second listen - or even a full listen - but oh it works so well for this scene.

but i just get so sad, so incredibly sad whenever i think about canon eremika. as a sucker for well-meaning (lol) angst, their story was so beautifully written, but damn. i think i said this in an ask years ago...that i read your work as some sort of escapism, like 'oh it ends well for both of them' kind of thing. i dont ever do that with other anime/manga/fandom-centric entertainment etc; thinking about them just hurts a bit too much for an irl feeling. i need to think of them happy and flirty and cranky and just alive in that silly little place in my head reserved for media consumption. little nico doesnt hurt too

tbh, we cant really ask for canonical representations right? most writers dont write them that way anyway, but i feel like i could see canon eremika in your works, if they were ever given the chance to live out different lives in different worlds, haha. ig that's what happens when the emotional range has been fleshed out in canon material (tho at what cost??).

until know, i still cant laugh at those memes of mikasa developing an attachment to birds and whatnot because it's just really sad. lol like the dark humor doesn't work for me here.

anyway, that's all! i hope you're doing ok. maybe im just feeling blue because i just had a session of root canal treatment and the cost + post-session pain make me want to sob too. considering a dental implant after all this because if im going to go thru this, might as well do it for something that's guaranteed to last lifetime (with good bones & proper care ofc)

sending you my love, in the most non-weird way, if that's possible haha

AWW ANON SENDING U MY LOVE RIGHT BACK !!! I have never had a root canal but I think both my parents have and they fucking suck from the sounds of it, so wishing you a speedy recovery!!

oh god the fucking song tho 😂😭 i don't think ur alone, that song kind of hits different, I feel like I saw it on insta reels or something recently and I was definitely crying. I ALSO JUST CRY A LOT THO !! I was crying bc I watched the fast and the furious the other day , like who am I?? Media has the ability to bring it out in you!! Especialyl AOT!! ACTUALLY U KNOW WHAT THO IT WAS ANGEL BEATS THAT WAS MAKING ME SOB THE OTHER DAY, I ABSOLUTELTY SOBBED!!

I think I have emotionally removed myself enough from canon eremika that it doesn't phase me anymore, like I have not and likely will not rewatch AOT ever or any time soon at the very least because I just have no desire to put myself thru it bc I am simply too attached!

As far as me writing canon eremika goes, as I always say, never say never! So far, captain Eren is the closest I'm getting LOL! Altho I think i do have a few canon EM drabbles somewhere in the depths of my blog! I would like to write canon EM, but i don't know how i'd do it tbh. Like how I could spin a happy ending for them other than cabin EM which I did attempt but didn't finish as usual!! you never know what type of garbage I'll cook up tho 😂

[new-dawn-au]

Am I going to make Apis and Saki canon? Hell yeah, they're too cute not to! Don't blame me, blame the little demon pulling my heart to make this happen X3

Bold = texting

"Italics with quotation marks = thinking"

This was not good.

It was supposed to be a normal day, but of course, something had to go wrong. The thunder was too loud, too near, too…. Familiar. And Apis was not a fan.

He could feel tears building up in his eyes and his own grip on reality or any sense quickly slipping away as he tried to find somewhere to hide from it all.

He had stupidly forgotten his house keys, and Adonis was working that day so he couldn't unlock the door for him, leaving him in a bad situation of having to wait for hours to go home. And it sucked.

But just as he was about to break down, he heard a voice he had grown fond of over the past few months. "Apis? Are you okay?" Saki asked her friend, visibly worried about him.

Apis looked to his friend and tried to muster a smile but miserably failed, letting tears fall as he clung onto her.

"Please… don't let them hurt me again. I can't go back, I can't, they'll hurt me, I just know it. I'm dead if they find me, please don't make me go back… help me, please." He mumbled through his tears, he couldn't control himself when he was like this. He felt embarrassed, embarrassed that he was breaking down like this and having a breakdown in front of someone he considered a good friend.

Surprisingly to him, Saki had not pushed him away, instead pulling him closer and taking him to her house. Despite her knowing little to nothing about what he was talking about, she still comfored him. "It's okay, I won't let them take you. You'll be safe here."

By the time they had both entered her room, Apis had fainted from panic, leading Saki to lend him her bed and pull the covers over him whilst she went to get something for the both of them to eat and drink.

Nobody was home today so it left her to watch over her friend without interruptions. Suddenly, his phone received a message.

Adonis: That thunder is really loud isn't it? Hope you're ok❤️

Yikes, it was going to be complicated to explain that Apis wasn't actually seeing this message and that he had passed out. But Saki did it in the best way she knew how to.

Apis: this is Saki Tachibana, a friend of Apis from school! He's at mine rn bc he got scared by the thunder and he's sleeping thru it srry do you want me to wake him up? :)

Adonis: no, it's fine. It's nice to know that he has many good friends now. Or maybe you're more than friends🤨? Jkjk

Wait, what?

Was Apis's dad trying to suggest that they were… dating?! Saki had never even considered dating him! However..

She did find him very kind and cute. And it was so fun messing with his hair, it was always so soft and he always reacted so cutely when she accidentally touched his neck when playing with his hair with his little giggle and nose scrunch followed by his insistence that he was most definitely not ticklish on his neck despite him obviously being so. And his face was attractive as well, she had thought of kissing him before…. Wait, kissing?!

Okay, so she might like him, but there was no way that he felt the same!

Apis: omfg no💀 were not dating but Im flattered that you think I cud end up with sum1 like him XD

Adonis: uh huh, sure thing lol. If he isn't up or still at yours by half 4 then give me your address and I'll come for him.

Apis: will do.

A few hours later, Apis stirred awake and looked around before seeing Saki and realising what just happened. "Ah, Saki! I'm sorry for falling asleep in your bed, it won't happen again!" "Haha! It's fine, you were scared and you needed it, I don't mind." Saki smiled, handing him a rice ball.

"I assumed that you'd be hungry when you woke up so I made some rice balls for you, do you like it?" Apis took a bite and smiled back at her, blushing slightly. "Mmhmm! It's really nice, thank you."

There was that look again, that smile and those rosy cheeks. And those eyes… it made Saki truly realise her feelings for him.

She loved him, she actually loved someone again. She didn't even think she could love like this after her last relationship, but here she was, basking in Apis's presence, loving his existence, loving being around him.

Nope, she had to stop herself there. She was supposed to be looking after him, she could crush over him another time! "Hey, are you thirsty? I have some apple juice downstairs that I can go get if you want." Apis nodded and followed her to the kitchen, holding her hand to keep his balance stable

Saki could just feel herself overheating, his hands were strangely soft in comparison to her rough ones up, they felt like heavenly buttercream to her and she adored it.

But all of a sudden, she heard whimpering coming from him as he pulled his hand back, covering his white eye. "It must be that scar again! But how can I help him?" Saki thought, coming to a reckless conclusion.

She held his wrists gently so as to not hurt him, leant near his face and placed a gentle kiss on his white eye and scar, gaining a squeak from him. "E-Eh?! Saki, what are you doing?.."

"Oh shit! I am so sorry, I didn't know what to do and I thought that if I kissed it then the pain would go away! That was really stupid, I'm so sorry again." Saki apologised profusely before Apis interrupted. "You don't have to apologise! I… um.. actually kind of liked it.. it made me feel safe, and warm and fuzzy inside and I don't know why.. is there something wrong with me?"

Saki widened her eyes, could he feel the same thing towards her as she did to him? She had to test it.. "Hey, is it okay if I try something? You can stop if you feel weird or uncomfortable."

Apis nodded his head. Granted, he didn't know what was going to happen, but he put all of his faith and trust in Saki.

She leant near his face again, kissing his lips as she closed her eyes. She was taken by positive surprise when she felt Apis kiss back slightly, so he did feel the same way! His lips were just as soft as the rest of him, it was clear that they had been bitten out of anxiety and overall stress,but it wasn't unpleasant, it was kind.

Apis pulled away to catch his breath, his cheeks now a bright red. "I.. enjoyed that… a lot. I think that I… love you."

Saki smiled wide, her cheeks the same as his as she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him I to a hug. "I love you too, Apis."

IT'S DONE AND NOW I'M GONNA BURRY MY HEAD IN FLUFF OVERLOAD, GOOD BYE

[eevyerndracaneon]

Hey, I don't mean to intrude or anything, being a stranger on the internet and all. Don't feel the need to answer this ask or anything but, I just hope you can hear me out and maybe something I say can help a bit... I've seen some of your posts today, I'm sorry you're going through the ringer. I've got a good couple of friends who deal with the very similar struggles and whatnot, so I just wanted to say pretty much what I always tell them regarding some of what you're feeling. I dunno your specific situation, and I know a lot of things are way more difficult to just outright fix than some people will say it is, so I'll keep this more general. And some of what I will say you might already know, but I feel they bear repeating. First off, your worth as a person is not tied to your ability to make money, or work a job or anything like that. You are a person, and that makes you valuable. No person or thing can ever take that from you. Second, never feel bad about wanting to interact with your friends and loved ones. Even if you're in a bad mood, I'm sure they'd love to spend time with you. Social needs are just as important as any other need, so do not feel guilty of them, and don't hole yourself up if that's not what you need right now. A friend of mine (and I do also to an extent) does this all the time and after they always reflect that it only hurt them.

Third, I'm sorry about whatever issues you're dealing with, with family or otherwise, I know how difficult that can be. There are no easy solutions, but, like, you just gotta keep carrying on, you know? Even if there's no option out today, there might be one down the road. On a lighter note, I think your art style is charming! I think you could get some commission work if that's something you wanted to do, it's less on your skill and more on confidence and a bit of luck, I think. Even if today sucks, it doesn't define you tomorrow and not all days will be like this. None of what you're going through defines you or your worth as a person. You've got this, and your friends and loved ones have your back. Keep on being you, A concerned stranger

ah right i did vent really hard on here huh, thanks for sending this out-

i've been vague overall with my posts bc im just going thru it today so some of what you've said doesn't apply but i can't fault you for it, since i didn't rly explain anything

i've tried for a few years now to have art as a job that i could maybe help pay for rent with if i ever moved out, but i just didn't get enough comms to even get to that point. u-u i'd LOVE to just draw for money but it just didn't rly work out the way i expected. maybe i'll give it another shot, i dunno (I'd have to increase my prices again for 2023....)

the house i live in rn is the one belonging to my partner's family. so i live with my partner. my boyfriend is long distance (i'm polyam if that hasn't come across with some of my posts) and i desperately wish i could live with him as well. my partner's family is amiable, but not exactly super friendly or welcoming. especially not if i was openly trans. (they have a trans daughter but refuse to treat her with respect so she cut herself out of their life years ago) my life is kinda trapped in my partner's room, in a corner, so i really don't feel like i have a home. it sucks, but at least im surviving and have a roof over my head and food to eat and warmth in the cold and cool in the heat.

you're completely right on the social front. i think a lot of us forget this. my boyfriend and a friend of mine both reached out to me an hour or so ago bc they were worried abt how i wasnt around like, at all, and i basically got the same thing from them. "its okay to be around, we can try cheering you up"

and finally the big one. i understand capitalism is trash for making us all think we need to make money to deserve life. i hate that i need to make money to be able to live on my own. luckily im not sitting here thinking im worthless solely bc i cant get a job or make money. but i need money to get a place to live in on my own, apartments need rent, houses need mortgage payments, and then food and bills and all that crap. i need a job for that to get pulled off. and i've been trying to get a job! i've been applying to places since the beginning of december! but no place has accepted me. i've gotten like three interviews. nothing else. its just really infuriating. all of my friends, even my boyfriend, are getting new opportunities, new places to live, new goals new motivations new everything. and im just kinda stuck.

today was really hard. all of these feelings welled up over the past half a year and i think just finally crushed me into the dirt today.

so its just kind of a sad day. im doing what i can now to make it better even if only by a little bit. but oof.

thank you anon for popping in and checking up on me, it means a lot <3

[noxiatoxia]

Any wayz!!!!¡! i recently unearthed a fic i half finished where kaoru goes into a depressive episode and locks himself in his room, similar to the concept we were talking about before. except hikaru, after trying lots of things to get him to communicate, just starts writing letters and pushing them under his door daily. its easier for him than talking out loud bc it feels less lonely than talking to himself outside kaoru's door.

anyway the letters tell kaoru about whats happening outside and in the host club, messages from the others, telling him how much hikaru misses him. and sometimes hikaru will draw him a little story comic of one of his stories to make kaoru smile, even though he's kinda trash at drawing. hikaru can only hope kaoru isn't just throwing them out, since he pours all his heart into each one.

and kaoru does read them. even though they break his heart. so sometimes he sees hikaru push one under the door and will just stare at it from his bed, sometimes not going to get it for hours at a time, scared to read it because of how emotional it'll make him. seeing how much effort and care hikaru puts into every single one, his attempts to make him smile, to make sure kaoru is updated about everything going on and the events of each day (even the silly things), to writing messages from the club word for word. its how hikaru shows his love and support.

it hurts kaoru that hikaru's still putting so much effort into making him happy after all kaoru's efforts to fade from his life, but he loves him for it at the same time. its just like hikaru, isn't it? to be so stubborn that even after weeks of not hearing a word back from his brother, that he would still put 100% effort into his letters? even with no guarantee kaoru's even reading them at all?

a part of kaoru, the part he'd been trying to squash down since he started this whole plan, hopes he'll never stop sending them. that hikaru won't ever give up on him.

maybe i should finish the fic,, didn't have many hopes for it but after writing all this,.... hmmm..

ANON!!!! THIS IDEA.... I LOVE stationary in stories. smth about a story told thru letters. MAGNIFICENT. (btw, if you ever finish that fic, i'd LOVE to read it. Love me some kaoru angst)

Hikaru always puts 100% into his letters, like you said. It's a little hard for him, because he's not a writer. Not only is he simply not great with his words, but he hates physically writing. He's super impatient and he feels he can't get the words out on the paper fast enough, so he prefers typing bc it's faster (im projecting) and of course, kaoru knows this. which is why it's extra special receiving a daily letter from him.

Each letter starts out the same. A basic how are you doing? Are you okay? I hope you're okay. I miss you a lot. And then Hikaru begins to give a detailed explanation about his whole day.

He'd talk about school- "We started reading Soseki's "the gate" in our literature class. It seems like something you'd like. In fact, I'm sure you've read it before" "we're prepping for an English test. It's so hard!!! I'm no good at English like you are. People say Japanese is harder than English, but I say that's just not true. At least Japanese makes SENSE!!!" "Today in math we're starting a new unit on grid transformations. Remember when he briefly covered them in middle school and you hated it?? You've always sucked at math, haha! Dw, I'll do your homework for you :) just do my English, kay?"

Of course, he'd talk about the host club the most. I think Hikaru probably became less of a host and more of a helper once Kaoru stopped coming to school in general. He can't ever get used to being a solitary host; he hates being alone. So, instead, everyday he spends it hanging around a different host, sometimes contributing to the conversation but mostly just helping out. Sitting next to Tamaki or Haruhi, standing next to Kyoya, sitting across from Hani and Mori. Of course he'd mention each letter how much the Host club misses Kaoru, and how everyone always asks how he's doing.

"Today I spent the day with Hani-senpai. I just brought him sweets n stuff. The guy ate 5 bowls of ice cream in fifteen minutes. FIVE!!! and he didn't get brain freeze!!! what is he!?!?" "I hung out with Haruhi for the host club today. I almost fell asleep because her conversations are soooo boring. but also, that could just be because I haven't been getting good sleep lately. it's hard to sleep without you and without knowing youre okay. ugh, i should have said that at the host club today as my excuse. i think the guests would have loved it, haha" "I spent the day with Renge out of curiosity. I always wondered what she does at our club the whole time... draw doujins and craft merchandise, it seems. I guess Kyoya-senpai put her to it. by the way, if we were animals, what animals would we be? i said fox but maybe wolf too... Renge said she saw us as hedgehogs"

And then, he'd end off every letter with a drawing/comic. Something to cheer Kaoru up. He'd also include extra paper if Kaoru ever wanted to write back... he hasn't yet, but Hikaru still hopes.

The idea gave me ~inspo~ so I drew a shitty cringe little comic in the style I think Hikaru would draw/write in... it's based off one of their stories Hikaru made up as a kid called "fox through time" in which a genius fox (named Dr. Foxtor) creates a time machine, intending to rewrite the past. In the original story, her future self comes back to the exact moment she finishes her time machine to stop her, and then there's some epic battle, but Hikaru made a parody comic in hopes to make Kaoru laugh....

ID in alt and under read more

A 6 panel crudely drawn comic on notebook paper. The first panel shows a doctor fox in a labcoat with a remote. "Finally!!! I have made my time machine! All I have to do is press the button…"

The second panel depicts a second fox in a black hoodie and glasses. She is pointing at the doctor fox, who looks shocked. "STOP!! I have come to prevent my mistakes…"

The third panel has the doctor fox exclaim, "Whoa! It's me from the future… That means my machine works!! Wait…"

The doctor fox then points and asks, "What is the most popular official Cinderella game in the future?"

In the fifth panel, the future fox looks thoughtful. She says, "Umm… well, there is just the one on GBA…"

The final panel depicts the doctor fox in the air mid-jump, throwing her remote on the ground and smashing it to pieces in a blind rage, exclaiming an angry "AUGHH"

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 14-20 thoughts!! I finished up s1 :D these last few eps were actually really really good!!!

-did. did tucker really just say esperanto was a dead language only spoken as a secret code between geeks. google says around 100,000 people actively speak it. oh my god...it being an auxiliary language doesn't mean its 'just for geeks to speak in code' ...it helps bridge gaps between people who don't have a language in common...

-danny really isn't pulling punches when it comes to fighting the ghost-cop possessed people huh. like he SLAMMED KWAN INTO THE CONCRETE SO HARD. HE THREW PAULINA INTO A BILLBOARD. will that...I mean it WOULD carry over to their bodies non-possessed, right? like if the ghost piloting their bodies gets hurt?? itd be so upsetting to be possessed, lose time, then wake up covered in bruises (and possibly, broken bones??) real horror movie stuff im sure wont be addressed in any way

-tuckers parents seem nice! I like them :)

-WULF IS CUTE AND I FEEL BAD. im so glad the gang realized he was only causing trouble bc of the shock collar walker put on him and helped. also, him wearing that big hoodie with the hood on, and thinking its subtle. we can tell youre still a giant wolfie :) THEN GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PORTAL AAAAH :( anxiously waiting to see Him Again....

-DANNY BLASTING HIS PARENTS THINKING THEY WERE OVERSHADOWED LMFAO GET THEIR ASSES. maddie marking how many ghosts she gets with lipstick tallies on the side of her portal gun? kindaaa iconic tho. (ALSO, SHE WAS LIKE, 2 FT AWAY FROM HIM RIGHT AFTER SHE TRIED TO SHOOT HIM. HOW DO YOU NOT RECONINZE YOUR OWN SON??? like sure, he might have diff hair/eye colors. but like, if one of my family members dyed their hair, and was wearing contacts, its not like id be like 'wHO IS THIS STRANGER!!!' ...he still has all his facial features!! same everything!!! I hate it here)

-paulina being #1 girl realizing danny's a friendly ghost immediately. smart queen. lancer and kwan ran away right after he made this sweet baby face at them:

which is hilarious.

-ok. im not saying his bullying is JUSTIFIED, but. dash looked so pleased with the (cute!) poster he just painted, and danny comes thru the wall and spills paint on his nice letterman jacket. his anger is justified maybe 65% of the time so far...(not the way he handles it, but STILL.) at least lancer is stepping in!! and them making a silly little bet was...cute?? until dash pulled out his GROSS UNDERWEAR AND SAID DANNY WOULD HAVE TO EAT THEM???? WHAT THE FUCK MAN. TUCKER WAS SO RIGHT ITS FUCKING WEIRD TO CARRY THOSE AROUND EWWW. THIS KID IS UNWELL. lancer was right, his animatronic setup was SUPER IMPRESSIVE?? hes actually pretty creative. danny meanwhile is stealing the fright knight's design...I hope dash is taking art classes or smth with his sports

-fright knight is the most bestest ghost so far i LOVE THAT DESIGN. I am biased towards knights, and characters with swords, but he fucks so severely. and should sue danny for copyright infringement for stealing his design for his haunted house. if some 14 yr old broke into MY house and stole MY sword, id also be pissed. his evil winged unicorn rules too with its FANGS. and he just CAN SHOVE THE PORTAL OPEN WITH HIS HANDS??? is he the strongest ghost weve seen so far? idk but hes my fav. SOUL SHREDDER IS SUCH A COOL SWORD NAME TOO. ANY NAMED SWORD ALSO FUCKS. 'flaming bedsheets of DEATH' funny king. ALSO he was polite to dash and tucker when just asking for directions and telling tucker 'oh maybe, just a suggestion, maybe be nicer to me and be more respectful :)' I LOOOVE HIM.

-I noticed this in the Ember ep, but jazz has an electric guitar in her room!! talent musical queen!! its cool to see hobbies just in the bg.

-fright knight's murder castle reminds me of the booby trapped murder castle in zexal!! another supposedly 'for kids' show with murder/trap castles! we love that. if you are a dp fan reading this, give yugioh zexal a try. its also got 13-14 year old protags and involves (alien) ghosts. the cardgame is just a vessel for the plot, which is really good. (I just want more people to watch my fav yugioh, man)

-danny. with a SWORD.

-danny doesnt NEED TO WIN this contest, dash didnt STEAL HIS DESIGNS AND STEAL A SWORD. he also got excited to hear lancer got sent to a dimension with his worst fears too just so he could win the contest? DANNY WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU!!! BRO MAYBE YOURE 14 AND HAVENT FULLY DEVOLPED YOUR WHOLE BRAIN YET, BUT...THATS FUCKED. this kid casually says the most deranged things, I do worry for my spooky son. once again, therapy needed. that judo toss was great tho. I wonder if he actually did pick up some martial arts stuff from his mom?

-danny can fly 112 mph!!! thats so fast! I love the lil montage of him and his friends testing his abilities and stuff, very cute and a good way to showcase what he can do by now and how much more proficient he's gotten from ep 1!!! I'm sure he's going to get more abilities :)

-im glad...maddie's at least TRYING this ep. I do feel for her because her husband is a man baby. but the fact it took 16 episodes to get a kinda semblance of any kind of real concern or attempts at bonding. hmm. jack's 'BACK OFF SHES A MINOR' @ the ghost trying to attack jazz. also was very funny. and him wanting to make an action figure of her? are the parents redeeming themselves to me? slightly. they gotta Work Harder

-THE GHOST. IS FLYING. THE PLANE.

-fenton machete. but she doesnt carry a PHONE??? ???

-I mean I expected vlad when you namedrop him earlier in the ep, and also the title card picture, and dalv corp being fucking vlad backwards. but seeing him just pull up on a golf cart made me bust out laughing. WITH the gift baskets prepared. why wouldnt you at least be suspicious. also, if he wants danny to be his lil sonboy, why is he so fucking malicious?? dude you are going about this in such a bad way. stop it. get some help.

-maddie not even hesitating to drag danny out. fucking good. danny is so right, go on the internet to date. get a cat. how do you spend...how many years?? has it been since college?? at least 20, right, since the parents/vlad are in their 40s? hung up on ONE girl. my god, man. incel drama queen. her kung fu IS impressive, but dude. 'we both know hes a creep' SO right. it sucks but they do need a phone and shit being in the middle of NOWHERE. also, just stealing his helicopter was great. <3

-'you must be exhausted carrying the weight of that mistake you made years ago' 'well we all make mistakes. maybe I'll make one now!' WHY DID THIS EXHCHANGE SEND ME. AND VLAD WITH THE BREATH SPRAY EWWW BITCH. 'OLD BAIT BREATH' SOO RIGHT. both danny and his mom playing him HAHAH hes so dumb. or rather, I think he thinks with his emotions too too much and is...actually pretty gullible? lmao he believed danny was ready to give in SO fast. (which is sad hes that hopeful, like you have SO MUCH MONEY YOU COULD EASILY GET ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAS A KID. AND WOULD WANT TO BE WITH YOU AND BE SUPPORTED. GET OVER THIS (1) WOMAN ALREADY IM GETTING SECONDHAND EMBARRASSMENT AAAAH)

-GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR GHOST BEAR. it was also in the title card, but I still got very excited. we love bears here

-SAM'S BAT SWIMSUIT COVERUP!!! her outfits are simply iconic.

-'i'd tell you to go to the mens room, but I don't think you qualify' top paulina transphobic moments. :( and him wearing a tanktop to the swim park? hmmm! (actually I think she was overshadowed by then, so, KITTY top 10 transphobic moments??)

-kitty just piloting paulina around makes me feel SO bad tho, paulina's gonna wake up and be like 'wtf do you mean I was dating this rando' like youre leading danny on to make johnny jealous, and also just POSSESSING POOR PAULINA. dude take your relationship problems ELSEWHERE. last time we saw them, they seemed like such a cute couple!! wtf johnny!! I mean, she sucks for trying to make him jealous, he sucks for looking at other girls...maybe they need a break, but Not Like This. or, you know, just. better communication...

-and the A-listers having a full packet and a stamp system. who organizes this. kwan fucking owning being the new danny though, this is hysterical. THE TUCKER/KWAN FLOWER FIELD TWIRL. UNIRONICALLY ADORABLE. and him giving it his all for the poetry slam. bless his HEARTTTT.

-Star owns. actually, all of the extra characters are shining this ep and I love it.

-INVISO-BILL??? NOOOO THEY DID HIM SOO DIRTY. DANNY SWEETIE IM SO SORRY.

-johnny and danny bein friends and staging a fake fight (which danny takes too seriously, once again this child has aggression he NEEDS TO WORK OUT) I hope these three stay friends, I said it before but danny needs more friendly ghosts to hang with.

-at this point, Danny's ghost enemies are a lot like, I dunno, batman's rouge gallery is the first thing that comes to mind. they all have their own gimmick and unique designs, but most of them are easy to beat after learning the Moral Lesson. I still get excited when any of them show up again, though. 18 is another valerie episode!!!! :D skulker really said you two will get along if I have to handcuff you together <3 and the gym teacher really said, youre married now, have a flour baby! ngl, I'm not really watching this show for the shipping stuff (which I am very scared to look at the fandom for after I finish this watch through- I feel like there's probably discourse/arguing about ships...) but. I'm gonna put my opinion out there. valerie/danny > sam/danny. maybe I just really love the enemies to lovers trope. And the secret identity stuff adds Extra Flavor.

-SKULKER JUST HAVING THE BOX GHOST AND DANGLING HIM BY A STRING. HILARIOUS. and him watching them with binoculars and making his silly little commentary. AND MAKING THE SACK BABY CRY. LMAO. THIS DUDE IS A BABY KIDNAPPER. skulker is super fun

-danny, you just...collapsed the water tower. and then attacked the nasty burger machine...mascot thingy...out of anger..I KEEP SAYING HE'S GOT ANGER ISSUES BUT. HE REALLY NEEDS A LESSON IN MANAGING COLLATERAL DAMAGE!!! So does valerie!! They're both pretty focused on each other. I mean it's good of Danny to say he's trying to make sure PEOPLE don't get hurt, but... (I mean I guess it's not something 14 year olds WOULD worry about, but as an adult im like, who's going to fix that? how much money will that take??)

-TUCKER MAKING BANK. and sam and tucker being super emotionally attached to their flour baby and being pretty good parents. that's cute...also him just straight kissing her and being like. WAIT. O_O JDSKAFHD. his mom baking them into cookies was the funniest possible result. tbh I dont feel like this is on tucker, if anything the other kid's shouldve been more responsible! He was just taking an opportunity to get that $$ which I respect

-Danny being more understanding of Valerie's situation in the end (helping her at her job, too, and trying to keep that a secret for her!!!) And seeing them work together this ep, and also her letting phantom get her out of the ghost zone...was very sweet. LOVE that. more valerie eps pls

-me when I realize vlad's big stupid house exploded because of his own carelessness with changing the ghost portal ectofiltrator or whatever: *pointing and laughing*

-me when I realize it means he's gonna go make danny's life hell for it somehow: >:(

-SCOOBY PARODY!!! I feel like there's gotta be some scooby doo/danny phantom crossover stuff, right? also, 'guys in white' men in black wishes

-'oh, that's right! dad married the love of your life! you're bitter and alone!' DANNNNNYY GET HIS ASS ONCE AGAIN WE ARE POINTING AND LAUGHING AT VLAD

-'jack, you captured the ghost boy!!' UMM. he did nothing <3 'we have a weapon's vault??' YOU HAVE A WEAPONS VAULT??? and jack didnt put a handle on the inside. of fucking course he didnt! why would you leave that to your son!! or expect him to clean YOUR LAB when its where you work with probably dangerous chemicals and weapons and hes 14!! give him normal chores, like, I dunno, vacuuming, laundry, dishes...CMON. I hate it here. But I'm glad Jack is more chill about danny while he's a ghost, and willing to work with him for this ep. AND. I DID ENJOY JACK PUNCHING VLAD IN THE FACE. AND GENERALLY JUST OWNING HIM. the ghost punchy fists are actually amazing. like yeah, just punch a ghost in the face. that rules.

-ep 20 opens with the coolest fucking ghost lady design. her tattoos can come off and fight. MA'AM. I like ur nose ring and your cape maam hello 👉👈😳

-sam's grandma is hilarious and the most valid member of her family and I love her. thats my grandma now. and tucker covering for sam by dressing as her. thats true friendship <3 also skipping school to go to a goth circus. just bestie things! sam's parents are haters but for all the wrong reasons.

-'my family has controlled ghosts with this for generations!' WAIT. WAIT FREAKSHOW /ISNT/ A GHOST? I didn't expect that...he's just a fucked up guy controlling ghosts? anyway watching danny shoot at police cars and rob banks while mind controlled. its like, the most stereotypical 'bad' things lmao. (tbh an evil ghost circus troupe is a sick concept)

this gives off big deviantart emo edit vibes

(I'm going to assume evil circus reaper danny has a lot of fan content. people love an edgy au, except this one is canon (even tho its via mind control...having the protag go evil otherwise might be hard, I guess?) but au where he stays with the troupe...that has to exist, right?)

ANYWAY. excited to start s2!! lowkey surprised by how many notes some of these posts have gotten. I've gone back and tagged them all with 'dp thoughts' so they're easier to find on my blog! ^^ and I will probably possibly do (more) fanart on my art blog after I finish the watch of the whole show, so like. @sanchoyodraws follow my art blog :)

[serenagaywaterford]

19) ignored her. Damn, I could go and on about this toxic yet fascinating duo, but I'll restrain myself. g) “YAY I’M SO GLAD SERENA GOT BEAT! SERVES HER RIGHT!” There are people that actually said THAT? WOW. No really, WOW. The irony and hypocrisy in that statement! I'm glad that I didn't stumble upon them. h) "on some level I think Serena and some other wives (IIRC) are completely aware of how terrible it is" If I remember correctly Serena looked very awkward/uncomfortable during the first

20) ceremony with June (back in S1), but of course that didn't stop her from going along with it. -_- Plus, she might have been a little jealous that her husband was fucking a handmaid, even if she didn't see handmaids as ACTUAL people. In 2x10, there's a moment (near the end of that horrendous act) where Serena is looking INTENSELY at Fred and maybe that's just me, but I think that she's coming to the realization that what they're doing is SICK. Props to Strahovski for those subtle things she

21) does with her expressions. Sometimes Serena's face says more than her words. i) "I don’t let (Fred) off the hook for it" I don't either! I have to give credit where credit is due. Fiennes' acting is GOOD. Whenever Fred was being particularly awful to either June or Serena in S2, I had those self-indulgent fantasies where she/they clawed his eyes out. (And that probably sounded creepy. I swear I'm not a psycho killer, LOL. I despise violence irl.) It's just that with S2!Fred I know exactly

22) where I stand, I don't give him the benefit of the doubt anymore (well, the chess scene gave me a momentary pause in s1, but nah).Unlike Serena FUCKING no-Joy. What do people around here call them? "Problematic faves." Indeed. j)"I do believe she truly loves Nicole and babies." Oh, she definitely does. In her own twisted way of course. She proves it in the finale, after all. Another moment that made me feel kinda sorry for her was during 2x09. She smiles at that little girl who thought she

23) was a princess bc of her uniform) while she's waiting for the elevator, but the child's mother makes it VERY clear what she thinks of Serena and people like her. She actually seems like she wants to take her child 99999999 miles away from Serena as soon as possible. Can't say I blame her, lol. // END OF RANT

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Yes. Quite a lot of people I’ve seen raving that Serena got just what she deserves, both the domestic abuse and the mutilation. Cos, she’s a bad person so therefore ... I just can’t. I can’t. It’s such a terrible fucking opinion that whenever I see it I just want to go full banshee on everybody. There’s a post sitting in my drafts that lengthily deals with someone else’s post saying Serena got what she deserved. Maybe I’ll post it sometime. I just really hate engaging with other people’s posts by essaying at them lol.

So many people going, “Do I feel sorry for her getting beaten by Fred? No, she brought it on herself by being Pro-Gilead! This is what she asked for lol dumb bitch!”

I... yeah. I’ll just leave it for now cos it angers me about how little people are absorbing about the entire fucking premise of this show.

Yeah, Serena vs The Ceremony. I personally believe she’s actually quite conflicted about it overall. (I may be wrong!) I feel like most Wives would be. But she’s also very aligned to the SAVE MANKIND THRU FORCED CHILDBIRTH! idea. Like, in 1x03 when she’s talking to June about how she’s so happy June is so strong because a lot of girls can’t handle it. And she’s like, “What you do and what we do together is so terrible.” looking like she means it. And then catches herself and says some bullshit to cover it up. Clearly Serena hates watching her husband “fuck” some other woman, but I do think it goes beyond jealousy. It would be easy to simplify it to just that but I think Serena is aware to some degree that the Ceremony, if not the entire Handmaid system, is Very Bad. But she does fuck all about it and in fact, that makes it even worse (when she could, if she was a half-decent human being, be more like other Wives that try to avoid doing Ceremonies or at least treat Handmaids like people). Ugh. It’s one thing to be ignorant about it, or even be a True Believer and honestly believe it’s the Right Thing... but quite another to be cognizant of how fucking horrible it is and just participate (sometimes enthusiastically) anyway.

[Then again, there’s that one other Wife (can’t remember her name) that is even more awful than Serena when talking about Handmaids like animals. I actually sort of am fascinated with the dynamics of the Wives with each other, cos it seems so superficial and nasty.]

Yeah, 2x10 ... I had to force myself to watch it a few times to really pick up on the tiny details, especially from Yvonne. Fred is Fred is Fred. I don’t care to give him any benefit of doubt anymore either. But by the end of the ceremony that time, Serena looked rocked. She’s staring at him and then can’t look anymore and then stares down at June looking like she’s just fucking put the pieces together. And runs from the room. I think if people watch the scene a few times and pay attention, they’ll see there is definitely something dawning on Serena. (ABOUT TIME.) And I think that’s where her outburst about rape comes from the following episode. She finally recognises it and can’t be so willfully blind. (I think deep down she knew the whole time but could fool herself--until that rape when June fought back.) 

It’s the little things in Yvonne’s performance that really sold the character for me. (I’d never really been a fan of hers before S2 especially. I’d seen Dexter but meh.)

I’m with ya on the clawing Fred’s eyes out fantasies! LOL. There is at least one other person on tumblr who agrees with us. I remember seeing a similar post months ago. I would LOVE for the two of them to gang up on him.

OMG. I would be that mother 100%. I prolly wouldn’t have even stood there next to her. Drag my kid away before she gets any fancy ideas about the pretty princess lady. I loved how much it hurt Serena. I actually really enjoyed watching her completely miserable the entire time in Toronto cos she realises her life sucks. And I thought it was interesting how she doesn’t get all indignant like I expected when the mother gives her attitude. She always gets defensive and bitchy when people call her on shit but she’s SO subdued the entire fucking time. Granted, part of that is likely due to the domestic abuse a few days back and how out of place she is in Canada, and she has ZERO power... but still. And then in the end of the trip and the Canadian woman is like “How do you live with yourself” and Serena just tears up and says some bullshit blessing thing. (And thinking about how this originally followed a rape has her reaction make even more sense. Cos there's that, but even if she was considering Tuello’s offer, she’s lost her chance by hesitating.) And that bit about “It’s sad what they’ve done to you.” was way harsh and spot on? And then you see Serena very visibly affected by the protests on the way to the plane--which is an interesting contrast to the flashback we saw of her dealing with a rowdy crowd of protesters. She really has become a totally different person.

Yes, problematic fav to the 1000000th level! I don’t think I’ve ever stanned a villain (dark antihero at a push) before and I always looked at people who did like, “What is wrong with you? That person is fucking HORRIBLE!” And like, yes, she is horrible, that's the point, but she’s INTERESTING and ENGAGING, and that is very important to me it turns out, lol. I think there are so many opportunities for stories with her.