#it just feels like a personal failing n if its smth inherently wrong w me then i can say its not my fault but. idk rly! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

monsterbisexual · 2 years

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basically having a "im a fucked up weird creature (derogatory!!!!!!)" moment rn :/

sometimes i listen to a songs lyrics or read smth someone said or watch a show/movie n i just think hmmmmm. i am not the way ppl are supposed to be n sometimes thats..like most of the time i just know that n deal w it n its ok ish but also sometimes i just feel v upset n like ashamed at w/e it is i am n how im smth wrong aka bad

#i know its like dont compare urself to other ppl etc n i agree w that but #it just feels more than that like sure theres stuff abt wanting to look different n idk stuff i think of when it comes to the comparisons #but its just like i said in the post i hear someone talk abt their experiences n feelings n i feel like i dont get it sometimes #i know Most ppl are like. either are or want romance n sex n new experiences n are ambitious #im usually ok w my small life n i generally dont wanna do stuff n i know thats weird n lame #n i dont make new relationships w ppl irl or anything cant imagine making new friends let alone going on a date #it sounds so like out of my comfort zone (which doesnt mean i shldnt do a thing iknow)#n just like impossible to me #its like then idk if i even want smth like that cuz i know i wouldnt be good at it or do it right #then itd be like my huge fear n intrusive thoughts aka me hurting someone #wont go into the thing w the state of my old friends group Again on here but its def not how it used to be n it makes me v sad #n blah blah blah i could go on i just feel like im not the way i shld be in literally any aspect #n i deal w it but other times like suddenly rn #i just feel so alienated from like. everyone which is weird cuz i do like ppl #it just feels like a personal failing n if its smth inherently wrong w me then i can say its not my fault but. idk rly!#dlt ltr WOOO #p

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