#it just doesnt really work for me cuz i get too lost in the weeds | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

linkware · 2 months

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Today i got a meeting bc my numbers were low for a second day in a row and when i mentioned that id probably be faster if i wasnt experiencing A Pain in my body and he mentioned that i could go home but itd be another occurance and then said "the two excuses i hear the most are pain and the freight being bad, and from the looks of it youre fine and the freight is too" like im sorry i havent had a period in 6 months and i think my uterus is trying to invert itself inside of my body. Be nice to me before i explicitly describe what that feels like in detail to you and we both have to go to HR about it!!! But switching happened after to handle the Emotions and i asked him to do a random safety audit on me without telling me and i passed just fine so he said as long as i keep a steady pace through the night like i did when he audited ill be fine and we got the number back higher.

I still have to think about my job as a combination of school and salmon run to survive it but whatever works for me i guess. Have to be here i go on break when they tell me and i have to meet a quota.

I get praise if i meet it and a passive agressive talking to if i dont. This is so mr grizz coded. Also its stupid to expect 100% productivity when you, yourself, said that it takes roughly 6 weeks to get your body adjusted to the constant movement and ive been here for FOUR. And only 2 weeks actually doing things in my area hands on. Which is 7 days bc i havent worked tomorrow. Thays bananas and i think its silly so idc.

Also the rule that "if you need to rearrange a box so it fits then you packed it too full" is really stupid and i dont follow it because if i have a big cardboard box sitting on all of the smaller ones it wont fit but if i just move everything on top of it its fine. It literally takes less time than closing a partially full box bc that takes me longer than just dumping the box onto the line, putting the big item in, then putting stuff back ontop AND THEN closing the box. I can easily put more in this box without going over the handle. You want me to make a wasted movement to prevent a different one. I am very proud of my ability to follow rules unless they are stupid and no one can give me a better answer than "um its just the rules" like. Okay then unless its like some actual problem im gonna keep doing it suck my peanits.

I am also considering just giving myself a lunch budget for the workweek instead of prepping lunch bc i actually cannot handle doing the dishes during the week bc before work and after work is my only free time </3 i dont want to touch something gross or wet </3 ill do the trash or sweep or clean A Surface but dishes is no so tomorrow morning im gonna knock them out so i can enjoy the weekend and stuff cuz im gonna cook alot of tomato and feta to freeze sauce abd i can sense the dishes already

Overall today was mid. Again. And one of my coworkers i thought was nice put his two weeks in but i figured hed prolly get fired soon cause hes taken off more than hes worked so hes def out of PTO and u only get two absences/occurances in ur 90 day/orange vest (im at 1 out of 2 en and im scared idk how he does it) and his brother bit the snot out of his arm and left a huge bite wound while on meth and he lost custody (tbf his apartment is getting demolished due to rain damage... but from what he said he shouldve gotten it instead but im a bystabder in all of this. I hope the kid has a nice life she doesnt deserve to be between the drama her parents have)

I think is freakeng weed time bc im sooo emotions still. And i have an edible for edible + park tome so im Considering tomorrow taking it and going to the park around 5 am for a Magical Time with the sunrise

#work diary

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erzastone · 6 years

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#50 Bye for now and Till Next time

So where am I at this moment in time. Well on the subway to work on a Saturday since their was an emergency . I figure this will give me leeway and makeup for having Monday off . Also shows that I can be there and be reliable . Anyways had to leave the door unlocked cuz the girlfriend has both keys. We live in a condo so it should be fine. As long as someone doesnt go door checking it will be just fine. Anyways on to what this last blog post is ment to be about. So I have done 49 of these posts this being number 50. Crazy how time flies.

When I started this It was to write about my life and reflect on stuff that has happend over the years and this year too. I've wrote about all kinds of stuff and had some rants too. Some posts being not as fun as others. I think this last post I'll talk about some past present and future. I felt lost 6 year ago since I was at a place where I didn't know who I was. I was smoking alot drinking alot and fucking alot. Fucking my life up especially. Yeah it was a difficult time in life and I didn't know what I was doing. What my purpose was and what I was going to do with my life. I was even contemplating changing myself completely. I was not where I am now. What made me like that I dont really know . Past is a part of me and I wouldn't be me if I hadn't had some hardships. Moving out of my parents place and living with my girlfriend for past 3 years has been something. I've gained alot in those last 3 years. I got my licences and drive when I have the car. I feel more accomplished as far as knowing things. More confidence towards work and doing jobs. Honestly if I stay where I am in this city i could be a foreman and make a decent amount of money. I dont know if I want to stay here though . I hate this place between the busy busy people and the community not really there. Also the cost of living and buying a house. Its just not obtainable. I want a house call me old fashion. I want alot of things and I dont want to settle or rent some small ass can in the wall.

Once apon a time I didn't care about anything but weed and video games. Now adays I dont smoke and hardly drink. I build and create in this game called sansar . I want to build community. Yeah it's an online social game but its alot of fun. It's fun and I am constantly learning how to make stuff and script stuff. Next I want to learn how to do some c scripting and maybe make some really cool gear for people. Its alot of work honestly but I really enjoy it . Once apon a time I didn't have anyone to go home to but now I do . I feel loved and I feel love to give. I think that matters . Helps when you want to get somewhere . When you have that someone who has your back when you need it most.

So my birthday is around the Cornor and I dont really know what I am going to do for it. We will see but I am looking forward to writing my next post. Something fresh something new . Something I am not use to writting.

I hope you enjoyed these 50 posts and I hope youl come back to read the following posts that will be a new story . Bye for now and

till next time

love to all

-Erza Stone

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ideocosmonaut · 6 years

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surveyzzz

When was the last time you went in the car past midnight? Gosh it had to have been sometime early this year driving home from an after party So, you have brown eyes? Nope What was the last thing you ate? Chocolate pretzels Can you say you’re happy? No but I manage

What’s bothering you right now? Mostly anxiety and loneliness

Who was the last person to text you? A friend What are you drinking right now? Nothing What all did you do today? I got groceries and went to a little thing called Weekend of the Witches. And I worked on some art. Why did you last laugh really hard? I dont remember How is your hair? Freshly cut Could things possibly get any better? I hope so How are you feeling at the moment? A bit tired Do you have feelings for someone? Yes What was for dinner tonight? Chips and onion dip lol Would you be able to name everyone you kissed? Yeah that’s easy Are you in a good mood? Im okay Where is the last person you kissed? Im not sure What color shirt are you wearing? N/a Do you think you could ever make it as a rap singer? Nope How important are looks to you? Important if I’m actively looking for someone. It’s what causes me to interact. But if I get to know someone first, say through work or friends, and then fall for them, then it doesnt matter what they look like. Did you have a fling this summer but it didn’t really go anywhere? Nope Do you get jealous? A bit Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? I kissed my mom on the forehead when she died, if that counts. What is something you currently want? Love and warmth. Security. Affection. What was the last thing you bought? Groceries What was the weather like today? Rainy Do you like sushi? Love it Is your hair longer than your shoulders? No Ever kissed anyone with a nipple piercing? No What about a lip piercing? No Nose piercing? No Do you like your hair? It’s alright Have you ever kissed someone who had a boyfriend/girlfriend? No Did you like kissing the last person you kissed or the one before that more? I dunno man Ever made out in a pool? No The shirt you’re wearing, does anyone else have it? N/a What was the last movie you watched? Scott Pilgrim vs The World

What do you usually get on a sub? Whatever comes on a cuban, I’m not sure. Some kind of meat, cheese, pickles, mayo and mustard.

Do your lips taste like anything right now? Maybe onions...

Are you an annoyed big sibling or annoying little sibling? (Or neither…) A distant big sibling

Do you have a pair of those ‘nerd’ glasses? Yes

Have you ever watched the Glee Project? No

When does school start for you? Never

Who is always there for you? My friends usually

What ticks you off? Bullying and blaming without evidence

Where is the last place you were other then where you are right now? A place called Southern Trash

Why do you act the way you do? Cuz they dont think it be like it is, but it do

How do you feel about the last person you kissed? Well I love my mom

When are you the happiest? While traveling and experiencing cities and countries for the first time

Who do you get along with the best? My friends

What color is your remote control for the main TV you watch? Black

Where is your heart currently at? My left side

Why do you usually laugh — something funny happened or someone got hurt? Something funny happened wtf

How are you feeling today? Meh

When is your birthday? Sept 17

What do you spend most of your money on: Food, clothes, etc. ? Aside from bills, food

Is there anything around your neck right now? Nope

Do you ever feel like you’re alone in this world? Kind of in a way

Don’t you just adore Simple Plan? No

Lol, Lawl, Rotfl, Lmao, or Lmfao? (Which you use most) Lol

Do you ever watch info-mercials for fun? Sometimes

Where do you usually shop at? Publix

When do/did you turn 21? 2006

Are friendship bracelets cool? (Even if they’re not for a friendship) Maybe. Nostalgia is big

Have you/Do you know anyone that grows weed? Yeah

Do you really care about namebrands? Unfortunately. I have to avoid a lot of big names in favor of other specific names because of my size

Describe your favorite pair of jeans to me please. Tapered

Do you think it means more if someone takes the time to type: I love you; rather then ILY? Sure

To wash in the shower, do you use a loofa? No

What brand is your shampoo? I forget. It’s some tea tree shit

Have you ever ridden on a horse? Yes

How many questions make a survey too long? Like 1000

Do you know what ‘savvy’ means? Kind of

Ever get a craving for a salad? I do. Sometimes

Who’s your favorite celebrity? Bill Murray probably

Which is better: Facebook, Twitter, tumblr, Myspace or Skype? They’re all terrible wastes of time imo. But I enjoy making my friends laugh with memes on FB

Does it bug you when people do things to try and bug you?

Yes

Do you like going to Borders?

What?

Is your local Borders shutting down? Mine is. Huh?

Little dogs: Cute or annoying? Depends

Is there a dream catcher in your room? No

Do storms scare or fascinate you? I like them

Are you polite? Usually, unless someone isnt

Ever been so tired a part of your body hurt? Yes

Did you ever pretend you were someone else as a favor for a friend? Not as a favor... Do you think men prefer curvy women or skinny women? I think they like a lot of different things Do you own a water gun? Somewhere What item most embarrasses you to purchase? Junk food

Do you know any actual dances or do you just move to the music? I just move baby

Do you eat pork and beans? I have What is the last thing you referred to as legit? Who knows Do you give cards to people for holidays or events? No I dont understand why thats a thing

Do you have anything hanging from the ceiling of your room? Nope Name the coolest thing about one of your grandparents. My dad’s dad lost a finger in the Navy. My mom’s dad was in Knights of Columbus and left me his sword. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? I’ve met nicer dentists, oddly Are any walls of your room blank? Yes What color are your favorite shoes? Black If someone was willing to tell the person you like that you liked them, would you let them? I already have Do you know the zodiac signs of your friends? Not since they added the new one Do you drink any hot beverages? What? Tea sometimes Name two things you put whipped cream on? Frappes and Strawberry shortcake Who is the last person who saw you with bare feet? My friends Do you ever eat peanut butter straight from the jar? If its mine Do you know how to ride a bike? Do you own one? Yes and no What was the last pill you took for? Pain Any friends you only know online? Kind of Do you ever talk to your next door neighbor? Nope

Did anything shock you today? Like all the shelves in Publix. Zapped me a bunch of times. Are you wearing a hoodie right now? No Do you prefer your clothes loose or close fitting? I like loose but it doesnt look good on me Are your favorite pants jeans? Pants are the devil Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? I dont really paint. Id like to Are there any songs that remind you of your mother? Yes If you had a sister, would you prefer her older or younger? Why? I do What is something you wanted to say today, but didn’t? Nothing I guess

What’s the last thing you panicked about? Im not sure. I think nicotine used to raise my blood pressure sky high and cause me to have a panic attack so I had to quit smoking. What do you have planned out as a career? Nothing. I only plan to die so far Are you planning any special outings with family or friends? Kind of

Which word(s) do you generally use to describe someone attractive? (e.g. “fit”, “sexy” etc.) Gorgeous

What was the last alcoholic drink you tried for the first time? Did you like it? Sam Adams Oktoberfest. It’s alright Who is that last person who harassed and annoyed you? Some internet pleb Who is the last person who made you feel hurt? Some friends... What was the last thing you were worried about? Dying alone probably. It’s always there What time of day feels the most magical to you? 3 am What is the last physical ailment you took medication for? Headache Do you get motion sickness? I used to Who is the cutest baby you know? Dante. RIP Have you ever thrown a rock at a window? Probably Has anyone ever thrown a rock at your window? Maybe Does your hair react well to dye, or does it damage it? I dunno What kind of pet do you wish you had? A living plushie that doesnt need to eat or pee. And also doesnt feel the need to murder... When was the last time you had an argument with one of your parents? Years ago Do you still live at home or with a guardian of some sort? If so, when do you plan on moving out, if ever? If you have moved out, how did your relationship to your parents change after that? No, I saw them a lot less but I still love them

When was the last time you were diagnosed with something? Are you concerned about anything regarding your physical or mental health at the moment? Years ago. Yeah but I’m an idiot and a hypochondriac What’s the longest you’ve gone without talking to other people? How did this affect you? Couple days. Happens sometimes on weekends What is one blanket judgment you tend to make about people (like, you judge all people who live at home, all people who drink, etc)? Does this judgment come from a particular personal experience? I try not to judge anyone really. I do playfully but not realistically. Everyone has their reasons, whether they be right or wrong and usually people just judge them instead of trying to learn about why they are that way and maybe help them. Like prisoners. People are people. Most are misunderstood or ignorant. What is something seemingly small and inconsequential that will cause you to avoid a person? If I do something to upset them

How do you react to other people yelling or slamming doors? Is this something you ever do too? It happened a lot in my childhood. I’d rather just not get angry but it happens. One second of anger usually costs me a weeks worth of apologies. It’s a tad expensive. Who in your life do you get along with best? How about the least? How often do you have to interact with these people? My best friend. My boss. Usually a lot Have you ever lost your cool at work or somewhere else important? What happened as a result? Yeah. Got reprimanded. Shock and awe. Was a long, long time ago.

When was the last time you did something you knew was wrong? What about the last time you did something right just because it was right? Morally? Or just like running a red light? I do little things all the time. I’m not perfect. Morally, umm hmm... I’m not sure. Probably not since I was a teenager. I hold doors for people all the time. I donate sometimes. I tend to stay in the middle mostly. Zen. Ying and yang.

When you do good things, do you do them because you want some sort of reward or recognition or do you do them just for the sake of being good? I just enjoy being nice. I do all the little things I can think of. When you fill out social media bios and such, how do you typically describe yourself? Is describing yourself something you have a difficult time doing? Yeah actually. I usually just end up deflecting with dumb comedic phrases What is one unusual belief you have? Has anyone ever made fun of you for your beliefs? I dont have any unusual beliefs. Ive always said I’d take up scientology for the perks though lol Have you taken anyone’s virginity? No Who has the power to break you? Feels like everyone but I know its just me How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A few What’s one thing about you people wouldn’t expect? Idk. I’m kind of a robosexual Have you ever been in therapy? Are you now? Do you think you always will be, or do you think there will come a time when you don’t need it anymore? No but I should be What is the most dangerous thing you do on a regular basis? Probably eat junk food. I used to self-harm but it wasnt really dangerous. I suppose my thoughts can be considered dangerous then Have you ever been in a hospital and not felt safe? No

Is anyone in your family blind? No What’s your favorite gaming system? PC

Is your more photogenic side your left or right? Idk they’re both kinda fug Do you believe in evolution? Yes What job do you think people should be paid the most for? Any job that puts you directly into harms way, followed by jobs that involve removing people from harms way. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life? From a distance What was your favorite stuffed animal as a kid? What was it named? A T-Rex my dad got me from a business trip. He didnt have a name Were you ever held back a year in school? Did you ever skip a grade? Nope Have you ever been given a hickey? Have you given one? No Who was the last person to kiss your cheek? My aunt I guess Where’s the farthest you’ve been from home? Maine

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