#it just doesn't consume me as much at certain times ig. so when it becomes a very big focus I think of it as a relapse
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I don't understand how people get excited to start college
#even as a freshman I didn't wanna go#i knew it was gonna be rough#and I enjoyed hs ngl. I just knew college was gonna be bad#and it was! hate that place#it literally ruined my personality and I actually am upset about that#I used to be soooo funny and cool. but being absolutely exhausted and miserable constantly drained the life outta me#then I also got very deep into ed behavior which also drains all the energy and personality away#it's weird to talk about ed things bc like. I think of that as a relapse but I never recovered#I have had this for years now and have never stopped. it's still very present#it just doesn't consume me as much at certain times ig. so when it becomes a very big focus I think of it as a relapse#when in reality. my behavior hasnt really changed. I just spend way more time thinking about things#honestly my current situation is worse than it was before. now I'm running more than before while eating less most days#I'm gonna be honest. idk how my body does this#the amount of energy I expend vs the amount I consume. very disproportionate#I also have been sleeping less recently and I normally don't sleep much sooooo that's not great#where is my energy and ability to function coming from? I don't have much to burn up realistically#ALSO idk what I did but I've started feeling genuine hunger for the first time in years#usually what I consider hunger is actually just some sort of sickness/weakness/nausea and pain that lets me know to eat#but a few days ago I actually got hungry. which I did not enjoy but it went away after a little while#idk why that happened#Sera
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I dont see Helaena cheating. I see her having feelings for Aemond both romantic and sexual in nature but I don't see her cheating. And IK people bring up the "so you don't want female characters to have agency and sexually fulfilled lives? So you think only men are allowed to cheat? So you think all people with autism are aroace robots with no interest in sex?" arguments and I believe some anti-helaemonds genuinely smack of that kind of thinking, but something it's simply: I just don't think Heleana is that kind of character from what we have gotten. Helaena not cheating doesn't mean all real woman cant ever cheat or all female characters cant ever cheat, its just in Helaena's case she does not. There are female characters who cheat, not as many as men, but they're there. I don't see why Helaena specifically not cheating would be such a big blow? Is it because of the autism? In that case the scarcity of autistic characters should be criticised IMO; we shouldn't need to make one autistic fill a niche by herself. Thats just sad tbh.
It's the only reason I don't believe anything happened between Helaemond on the show and will be very surprised if it has or will unless helaena does a 180, which IG could be a kinda fun angle - her becoming more like Aegon/a Dragon. But there's so much gonna be going on I don't know if we need this. I'm just a little sick of Aemond I guess.
Just to maybe drop a different perspective.
hey there, i want to take this opportunity to assure everyone that, with all my ranting, i'm not really a prescriptivist person, bent on shaping the way people interact with their chosen piece of media :)
so, if that's your interpretation of helaena's character, that's completely fine in my book, and you are entitled to your headcanons. don't get me wrong here, i'm not trying to police the way people consume fiction or how they like to play in their own sandboxes, lord knows there is enough room for all of us under the sun. so, if you think that she wouldn't cheat for various reasons, i'm not here to contradict your view specifically and tell you you're wrong. our opposing opinions can co-exist just fine in the space-time continuum. :))
personally speaking, i interpret their social & familial roles breaking down so much within this cycle of generational inbreeding that whatever this is doesn't even register as cheating anymore since the regular boundaries start bleeding into one another. but that's bc that's what i find a really cool idea to explore, others can and should come up with their own takes
i only take issue with a certain type of moral framework that excludes all other possible interpretations bc it doesn't fall within whatever the circulated papal bull stipulates at the moment. especially when it's over really silly stuff like this. meaning to say that other people are not stupid or badly-intentioned or sinister or secret team black sleeper agents :)) for enjoying alternative possibilities. and, i have to say, it does feel really kind of rotten when you hear how other greens talk about helaemonds like they carry the plague, bc i think there are some really lovely people in this little internet niche that could contribute in a lot of positive ways to the fandom.
i, for one, can't control how people choose to judge me for not shutting up about this (lmao this really unintentionally feels like coming out, which is absolutely ridiculous, touch-grass-levels), but i'd think it rather childish if 1. i felt force to go underground and lie about it so people wouldn't blacklist me for this dumb reason and 2. i couldn't really engage in other ways bc people formed this unfair opinion that i'm some tainted radioactive waste. i write a lot of meta on a lot on topics and i enjoy talking to a wide range of people, which is why i rarely even block, so, that's just a personal disappointment i would have as a fandom navigator.
at the end of the day, it's.... you know, whatever, as far as i'm concerned, because i have a big mouth anyway and i don't really shut up IRL either, so, in that regard i had to already teflonize myself. but i feel like a lot of users are held back from participating and being more active for fear of judgment, which is just a damn shame, as the toxic voices always tend to drown out the ones who would really help turn this place into a more pleasant experience for everyone
so, what can i say, i'm a big softie, y'all
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