#it isnt anybodys responsibility to msg me and make sure im ok

[homophobic]

TW

i dont want anybody messaging me for what im about to say because i AM safe and i WONT hurt myself, but holy fucking shit i cannot do this anymore. this is too fucking much. everything that i will never be able to do is hurting me. everything that i havent accomplished yet is hurting me. i want to disappear so badly and its killing me. i may not kill myself, but i fear not killing myself will also kill me.