#it isn’t the one he shares with Lando/Lando has one similar?

[artemispt]

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 14 - Speed, I am Speed

WE'VE MADE IT TO THE 2024 SEASON. IT IS LIGHTS OUT AND AWAY WE GO!

When I started this fanfic, I never would have thought that people would be interested in it enough for it to get past the first few chapters. But everyone has proved me wrong! Here's to a great fictional season!

Like always comments, questions, concerns, reblogs, and likes are appreciated! Much love <3

TAG LIST IS OPEN - 6 SPOTS LEFT!

Screams echoed through the paddock as whispers of your arrival seeped through the cracks of the buildings. The drivers watched with smiles as crowds of girls, boys, and adults alike flooded the entrance area to maybe catch of glimpse of you. Only a select few would be lucky enough to get a signature or for you to even take what they offered. But that didn’t damped the electric atmosphere that was quickly building. 

The moment you scanned your card and stepped through the turn-style, all hell broke loose.

Max stood next to Christian in the garage that was placed in the middle. The Ferrari garage was to the right, and McLaren sat to the left. 

“Quite popular. Isn’t she?” a stray mechanic commented as he worked on one of the RB20s. 

Christian only smirked. “She’s great for the media that’s for sure.” 

Max stepped through the entrance to wait for you. He was already in his Red Bull kit with a signature can in his grasp. He watched as you quickly signed multiple things and stopped to take few pictures. He noticed that you really only stood still for the squirming kids who really looked nervous to be next to you. 

You were hastily ushered farther into the paddock as you were a tad bit late. The outfit you had on was similar to Max. Jeans adorned your legs while a Red Bull polo was hidden behind your famous blue bomber jacket. Dark red sneakers completed the look. A winter flavored red bull sat comfortably in your hand. You had talked to Max about how the flavor was far superior than his preferred original. He would only eyeroll and then sip his own can. 

A bright smile shone on your face as the cameras clicked around you. Video cameras followed your every move. 

Lando and Charles had joined Max. They too were in their respective Ferrari and McLaren kits. The bright orange clashed with the bright red, while Max was the neutral navy between. Some cameras were pointed their way hoping to get a few shots of a not so common friendship and a decade old rivalry turned friendship. Yet, the trio’s attention was all on you. 

You had finally gotten to the garage. However, you completely missed the three and walked right in, excited to greet your mechanics, Christian, pit crew, and Mitch. The one thing the crew all liked about you was that you made sure to try to say hello and check in with how they were doing. 

You had surprised everyone with coffees or other drinks for preseason testing as a way to share your appreciation. 

As you went around the garage, you gave a quick side hug to Christian and then walked over to Mitch. Your eyes lit up at the sight of another familiar figure next to your strategist. You stood and talked to the two. 

While you stood there, completely oblivious to the three men standing outside, they of course didn’t miss anything.  

Lando stood there with open eyes. “Did she just walk right past us?” 

Max just continued to be unbothered and sipped his drink. 

Charles had a familiar knowing look in his eyes. “Who is she talking to mate?” 

The British driver scoffed and waved his hand. “Her strategist.” 

The Dutchman sighed before maneuvering the papaya man to a better angle. 

“Can you see now?” The driver in red questioned as he smirked at the now visible scene. 

“Oh.” 

The three stared as you talked to your best friend, who was now clad in a Sky Sports polo and khaki pants. You threw your head back as you laughed at something the younger Monegasque had said. Mitch also chuckled where she stood. 

Finally, your head turned and eyes made contact with steel blue ones. Your smile somehow got even bigger at the sight of the Dutchman and you other friends. You said something short to the two around you. Arthur gave you a side hug before he ducked out the side entrance, probably going to get ready for the driver’s parade. You’d hope that he was the one to interview you. 

You were now making your way to the other three drivers. Your maroon Red Bull was still in your hands. 

“Top of the afternoon to you gentlemen,” you spoke in a posh accent. Lando rolled his eyes. “Oh shut up that was a good impression. You’re just a hater.” 

“As if. You live there now, you could at least learn how to properly speak.” 

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. You barely live there anyway now. You should be talking like Charles if you expect me to be able to finesse a British accent.” 

“Oh so now I have to speak in some hoity toity French accent?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re excused Charles.” 

“Stay out of this Max.” 

“Ladies, ladies, you’re all pretty, but let’s save the fighting for the track,” a new voice that was attached to one Oscar Piastri sounded as he walked up to the four of you. 

“What’s up pastry?” you asked him. “And where is your better half?” Your eyes ran wild around the paddock. 

“Uh who?” 

“You know? The smell of gunpowder and the cry of eagles follow him where ever he walks?” 

Oscar sent you a deadpan look and sighed like a middle-aged dad. He turned just a bit to show the bright blue suit that belonged to the American Williams driver. He was looking at an iPad before he suddenly sensed five pairs of eyes on him. He looked up, grinned stupidly, and waved. You were glad to wave back, while the four men waved small ones. 

“He’s such an iPad kid.” 

“So are you,” Max finally. You squawked like a bird as you stared at him.

“If I’m one, so is Lando. Mr. I play Fortnite all the time.” 

Charles was done with your bickering. “Oscar did you need something?” 

The Aussie looked so done with everything, but perked up at the question. “Yes. Zach sent me to fetch Lando. We need to get ready for the parade.” 

A look of enlightenment crossed over both Lando and Charles’s faces as they said quick goodbyes before turning to go back to their own garages. That left you and Max to stand out in the open. He closed the gap between you and wrapped an arm around you. At that motion, multiple cameras clicked but the two of you didn’t care. 

“Are you ready for today?” he asked as the two of you walked into the garage where you’d be escorted to the parade. 

“Yep! I mean, you’re starting pole and I’m starting P6, so we’ll see what happens.” Your shoulders raised in a shrug.

“Kid that’s good for your first race.” 

“I know. I think I thought that I’d be higher up.” 

Max squeezed you a little tighter. “You just have to worry about overtaking George, Lewis, and Lando. Once you get them, you could be forecast for a podium.” 

You rolled your eyes. “I’d be happy with just staying in the points.” 

Christian clapped the your backs as you passed him to line up in the back for the parade. You found a small corner of the room to just sit in. Your headphones had been given to you in your garage, and classical piano music filled the speakers. You knew you probably looked so anti-social right now, but you didn’t care. You needed to find your calm before the storm hit. 

Many drivers didn’t even send you a second glance, yet one found himself on the floor next to you. The Monegasque’s cologne filled your nostrils as you put your head on his shoulder. You flashed him a thankful grin as you showed your phone screen. 

MON23 was the song that was currently flooding your headphones. Charles rolled his eyes, but the smile stayed on his face. Max was the one to come get the two of you once the signal was given that the parade was about to start. You and Max walked out together, and there was Arthur, ready with his microphone. 

He turned to the camera that was in front of you. “I am joined by Max Verstappen and Y/n L/n. Thank you for joining me, even if you didn’t have a choice.” 

Max and you let out a laugh at the comment. 

He continued. “So we saw some domination from the RB20 in the free practices with you Max snatching P1, P2, and then P3 respectively and then taking Pole Position for the first race of 2024. How is the car handling this year and do you expect the same amount of untouchable-ness as last year?” 

The Dutchman leaned into the microphone, while you stood next to him waving at the spectators. 

“Yeah, well we saw that the Ferraris and McLarens were going to be close after the preseason testing. I was glad that I was able to take pole. I know this one,” he pointed at you which made your attention shift to the conversation, “was wanting a higher position. But the car is fantastic, yet I think that it’ll be a closer year.” 

Arthur looked happy with the question as he turned to you. 

“So Y/n, we know you’re starting P6. What are you plans for that?” 

You huffed as you now talked into the microphone. “Well I plan to just fight as hard as I can. I know that Max and I have very different strategies today. But, overall we just want to bring as many points to get a jump start on the Constructors.” 

You were given a nod from some personelle signaling that it was time to wrap thing up. 

Arthur turned back to the camera. “Well thank you both for your time and best of luck!” 

The two of you were led to a car with an open top. Thankfully for this time, you and Max would be together. Funny enough, they told you to drive. Your eyes widened so much when they handed the keys to you. 

You kept turning around asking if this information was correct. Max was just sitting in the car laughing. You climbed in and turned the car on. Once the parade started, you pushed the gas pedal and the car started to move. 

The lap around the track was a nice one. Max and you made small talk while waving to the crowds who seemed to yell louder when your attention was turned to them. 

It wasn’t long before you found yourself in your race suit and helmet in your hand, going over your race strategy one more time with Mitch. 

She explained it once more. “So by turn one, you need to be up at least two places. You need to get the jump on George, Lando, and Lewis. They tend to go inside, so going wide will be your best friend even if it seems tricky. You're faster than they are. Try to get up to Max who can give you a tow if needed. And kid?” 

“Yeah?” 

“Just have fun. Points are points. You don’t need a podium to show your worth.” 

You nodded at her revelation and put your balaclava on. Arthur had somehow snuck in to do your handshake beforehand. He knew that it would calm you down just a bit. You slipped your helmet on and connected the different wires. With one foot over the car and the other following suit, you quickly adjusted your race suit before slipping down into the car. One of the mechanics put the screen on the nose for you to go over data and tyre degradation one more time. Your eyes flickered across the screen before it was taken away and your car was pushed out. 

At that time, you put your visor down. Your fingers touched where your lips would have been without your helmet and rose to the air. A second ritual you would call it – a special motion for your godfather. 

Starting Grid:

Max Verstappen 

Charles Leclerc

Lewis Hamilton 

Lando Norris 

George Russel 

Y/n L/n 

Oscar Piastri

Fernando Alonso

Carlos Sainz 

Alex Albon 

Lance Stroll 

Logan Sargeant 

 Pierre Gasly 

Yuki Tsonda 

Daniel Ricciardo 

Esteban Ocon 

Zhou Guanyu 

Kevin Magnussen

Valtteri Bottas  

Nico Hulkenberg 

They put your car on the P6 grid mark and stayed near with the tyre covers. The five guys smiled as you began to move about, nerves making it hard to stay still. Your eyes closed and a smile made its way to your lips. 

“Speed. I am speed. One winner, nineteen losers. I eat losers for breakfast.” 

“Kid, you know the radio is on right?” 

Your eyes shot open at the sound of Mitch’s voice. 

“Uh now I do.” 

Her chuckle came through the speakers in your headphones that where under all the face layers.

“At least we know the radio is working.” 

One of the men must have gotten the signal because the tire covers came off and everyone who wasn’t a driver fled the scene. Up ahead, you noticed Max start to drive off. After him was Charles, then Lewis, then Lando, then George. And now it was your turn. Using the pedals, you gently eased your car into movement. You were starting on softs. The team had let you know that you were going for a three stop strategy. Softs, hards, then finish the race on softs. Max was going for the soft, soft, and then hards. 

The team were hoping that by putting you on the softs, you’d be able to help Max with the last stint of the race. Softs were your specialty, especially used softs. So the last bit of the race should be your fastest.

Your formation lap consisted of weaving back and forth, warming the tyres up and getting them ready to grip the track. Once you were back in your spot, you were careful not to go over the line and stay in the half box. Your eyes shifted up to watch the lights. 

Blink. Blink. Blink. Blink. 

Inhale. Exhale. 

Blink. 

Your feet hit the pedals before your mind even comprehended. Your head swerved back and forth to look at your mirrors. Behind you, there was the dark green Aston Martin of Fernando Alonso and the other papaya colored McLaren of Oscar. However, the beginning of this track was a giant straight. 

With tyres still warm, you quickly got into George’s slip stream and made your move. 

For the viewers everywhere, Croft’s voice rang out. 

“And it’s lights out and away we go! 

"Max Verstappen gets the upper hand on Charles Leclerc on that initial jump but Leclerc is not giving up just yet. 

"There goes the Mercedes of Lewis Hamilton right behind Charles Leclerc as they go into the first corner of this race. Seems like Leclerc was able to keep his position.  

"Oh! And around the outside is Y/n L/n getting the jump on both George Russell and Lando Norris! An overtake on the outside is really tricky but she has made it work for her favor.  This rookie is making moves right out the bat. 

"I see we have some congestion in the back. Looks like the Haas of Kevin Magnussen has found the side of Alfa Romeo of Valtteri Bottas. 

"Let’s have a replay of that beginning shall we? We’ll start onboard with our rookie.”

The camera is on your car as the viewers can see the lights go out and your car lurches forward at the start. Your head swivels as it seems like you’re making sure not to hit the Aston or McLaren that were behind you.

But once you found George Russell’s slip stream, your head stayed straight as you exited to the left of George to go around the outside of both the Mercedes and Lando’s McLaren. As your RB20 continued forward George and Lando quickly left your camera’s view as you now had seven time world champion Lewis Hamilton in your sights. 

“And what a great overtake that was on L/n’s part. Let’s head back to see that little kiss between the Alfa and Haas.” 

You had now found yourself right behind the Mercedes. Yes, they possibly had the faster car, but you had the pace. 

And you were gaining. 

You pressed the radio button. “Gap to Hamilton?” 

Mitch was quick to respond. “Two point three-seven behind. But you’re gaining two tenths a lap. Keep it up.” 

“Thank you.” 

In the next nine laps, you were right behind him. 

“What is the gap to Leclerc after I get around Hamilton? 

“Five seconds. But we will pit before you get there. You have about five laps left before tyre degradation gets too terrible. Use three to get around him and two to widen the gap.” 

“Perfect.”

Yet, in about two laps you were right on his tail. Using DRS, you were able to get him on turns 14 and 15 as the DRS was coming to an end. 

“And it looks like Y/n L/n is about to make her move on Lewis Hamilton! She goes wide once more on turn 14 and cuts him off by going deep into turn 15, does she have it? 

"She does! What a move!” 

You fly down the straight with Lewis trying to get back ahead of you. Yet, you were quick with the defensive moves. 

“Hamilton is not giving up that spot. Will he be able to take it back at the corner of turn one? He does not gain the position back and has to be fine with fourth for now.” 

“Good job. Keep it up.” 

“I’m trying,” your voice rattled. In three laps you were called into the pits. 

“Looks like Red Bull is calling L/n into the pits for her first stop. Now drivers are losing about 15 seconds so this will put her down back to P8 right after the Ferrari of Carlos Sainz who has gained to positions since the start 14 laps ago. 

"And that is a 2.0 second pit stop. Phenomenal for Red Bull whose pit crew seemed to be bored this winter break.” 

“Good stop. Can you let the boys know?” 

“On it kid.” 

“Looks like L/n wants a message relayed to the crew. What a sweetheart she is.” 

You apparently were the first one to start the pit stop train, because either one, two, or three laps later the pits were full with cars coming in and out. Like strategy, you were now on hards. Yes, they weren’t your preference but, you needed to change the tyre type at least once during the race: it was mandatory.

You somehow were leading the Bahrain Grand Prix. For about the second half. 

Surprisingly, Max had gotten overtaken by Charles right out of the pit exit. You knew you needed to extend the gap between you and the Monegasque Driver, so that you and Max could pit at the same time. 

By the 37 lap, you were calling in your radio. 

“I need to box. Left tyre is almost dead.” 

“Got it. Max is in a good position as well so you will come in and Max will follow. Stay focused.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

“Looks like the Red Bulls are coming in to box. And who is that as well? Charles Leclerc follows Max Verstappen inside. But there is a significant gap as L/n is already leaving the Bull area with new tyres and Verstappen is getting fixed as well. Leclerc will have to have a perfect pit stop to at least catch up to the two. 

"And that is a rather slow stop for Ferrari with a 3.2 second stop. Will this be the mistake that leads to yet another Red Bull 1-2?” 

You and Max bolted out of the pit exit once it was safe to do so and you were over the line. You were told to keep giving him the tow for a couple of laps since you were now on the softs while Max was on the hards. 

However, after a couple of laps, something seemed off. 

You pressed you radio. “It feels like the tyres are wearing down a lot more. Do we have something for that? I could make it to the end, but I might get overtaken.” 

“We’re checking. Just keep being nice on the corners. Max has been given the go ahead to overtake you. GP will tell him about your tyres and he should help you keep going.” 

“Is this the moment that the Bulls will switch? We know that they’d like to keep their champion at the front as soon as possible. Ah, there it is. Nice pass on the straight going into the fourth corner.” 

GP came on over Max’s radio. 

“Max, Y/n’s tyres are degrading faster than expected. I’ll keep you updated but she will fall out of DRS or any tow help in about five laps.” 

“Are we sure there isn’t anything else to do?” 

“Positive. You just keep going. She said that she’s going to try to fend off Leclerc who is gaining 2 tenths per lap but is 3 seconds behind Y/n with 10 more laps to go.” 

Max watched you fall out of help-range in the predicted 5 laps. He could catch glimpses of you when he slowed down on the corners but that was about it. All he focused on now was being the first one across the checkered flag. 

You were coping brilliantly. By going slower around the corners you were slowing down the tyre deg but also slowing down Charles.

“Gap to Charles and then Max please?” 

“Gap to Max is about nine seconds now. And Charles is still gaining and is now in DRS so watch out on the corners.” 

“Got it. My tyres are done for and I have no grip. Might be safer to let him pass. I don’t want to pull a George Russell 2023 Singapore.” 

“Focus.” 

Well, you didn’t thundercunt yourself into a wall, but on the first corner of the last lap, you had a lock up.

“That is a bad lockup for the Red Bull rookie and there goes Leclerc, taking advantage of the small mistake. Props to Y/n though for handling the car well and getting it back on track.”  

“Oh shit!” you exclaimed as your car went wide allowing Charles to slip by. “Sorry for the language.” 

You turned your radio off, a bit embarrassed and annoyed at yourself, not wanting to hear Mitch’s reply. 

You tried desperately to catch back up but it was no use. Your tyres were done as you crossed the finish line in third place. You quickly turned your radio back on. 

“And good job Kid with points, third place, and a podium on your first race. Congrats.” 

“Aaahhhhh thank you team! This was an experience for sure and I can’t wait for the next one! Sorry for that lock up, we’ll get them next time.” Your hand stuck out the top to wave as you drove significantly slower.  

“Wasn’t your fault kid. We’ll go over in debrief. Enjoy the celebration, you earned it.” 

Max had already parked in the first place spot as he got out of the RB20. He turned and expected to see you in the second place spot, but was a bit disappointed when he saw his childhood rival. His heart sank for a bit as he thought you might have been overtaken more than once. But his spirits rose when he saw your RB20 pull into the third place. 

He watched as you stood on the nose and lifted your arms up in celebration, put one down, and keep the other raised with a fist clenched as you brought it down sharply. He knew the cameras were eating it up. 

If his history knowledge was correct, and it usually was, you were the first woman since Lella Lombardi to score points, but were the first one to get on the podium.

You were making history.

And the people were eating it up. Your name was heard above everyone’s. He would meet you in the cool down room. 

He was escorted over to the weighing station where he stood for a few moments before going over to the cool down room. He was soon joined by Charles. The two stood like middle-aged dads who were watching their neighbors mow their lawn and silently judging them as they watched the recaps. The main one was your first overtake around the outside. 

“Dang she’s quick in that car.” 

Max nodded. “Her simulator times were a bit faster than me during testing.” 

“I don’t know how then I got around her. Seemed like she was just falling behind the last five laps.” 

“My tyres were degrading too quickly and were basically done by the time I crossed the finish line.” You walked into the room, sweat glistening on your forehead where your hair also stuck. Although you hadn’t gotten your second place, third place was still impressive. A smile was probably permanently stuck on your face now. 

Max held his arms open for a hug and you dove right in. His hands rubbed up and down your back. Your gaze was now turned to the TV where you watched Lando and Lewis dance for multiple turns before Lewis finally took P4 on the second to last lap. 

Charles brought you into a quick hug and kissed your forehead. You wanted to talk some more, but you had been queued to go up to the podiums. You went out first, Charles followed, and then Max. You stood still as the Dutch anthem rung, followed by the Austrian. 

And now it was your favorite part. Your grabbed your bottle and shook it, before hauling it up on your shoulder like you always did. 

The "champagne cannon" as people liked to call it. You showered the older drivers with the sticky liquid, but was quickly turned against and sprayed as well. You then walked over to the banister and sprayed the team below. 

When your bottle was finished you picked up your trophy and made your way down to celebrate with Red Bull. 

You quickly found Mitch and gave her a giant hug like you had done once you got out of your car earlier. Christian also gave you a big hug and told you how proud he was of you. 

The night for you didn’t last much longer as the adults had said that they were going out to a club to celebrate. You were a bit saddened to hear that you couldn’t come with, being on the podium and all. But, your time would come. 

And instead of celebrating, you changed out of your suit and fire proofs and got into comfier clothing. However, you couldn’t stop yawning. 

Thinking that Mitch, Christian, or Max would come get you to leave, you lied down on your small bed in your drivers room. An alarm was not set. 

Your eyes closed and you fell asleep soon after. Dreams of first place danced behind your eyelids. 

You’d get there if it was the last thing you’d do. 

skysportsf1 has posted

skysportsf1 we are excited to introduce our main interviewer line up for the 2024 season. David Croft will still lead our main commentary, but we welcome Nico Rosberg, new-comer Arthur Leclerc, and Jensen Button to our team!

liked by formula1_fan, y/n.89, charles_leclerc, y/nxarthur, and 22,830 others

formula1_fan YEESSS so happy to see this trio! maybe we'll actually have good interviews now

y/nxarthur this is just fueling the delulu

leclercbros4life so happy to see Arthur still involved in Formula 1

change_ur_f-car I know right! I would have thought he'd given up charles-marry_ME now he can be near Charles and Y/n all the time y/n-is_my-romanempire I mean, I would have liked it to be Arthur Leclerc "Y/n L/n's Partner" but we'll get there

y/n.89 THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND RIGHT THERE! WHOO!!!!!!!!!!!

landonorris I think you missed an exclamation mark maxverstappen1 I thought I was your best friend arthur_leclerc sorry mate, but I was here first oscarpiatri he would like to be more tho *this comment was deleted* y/n.nation UH HELLO????

arthur_leclerc thank you for this amazing opportunity!

arthur-4lifers baby boy is BACK

sebastianvettel good to see you here kid! can't wait for the future

f1_fanatic this seems suspicious

RedBullRacing has posted

redbullracing a phenomenal start to the 2024 season with an RB 1-3! See you all in Jeddah!

liked by y/n-on-top, lestappenlove, logansargeant, and 93,822 others

y/n.nation YEAH PODIUM AND POINTS FOR OUR ROOKIE

box_box_offical I totally see her breaking Hamilton's rookie year in points - place your bets here ladies and gents

charles_leclerc glad to share a podium with Max and Y/n, but tell them to watch out next race

y/n.89 yeah, we'll be watching you...in our mirrors as you eat our dust maxverstappen1 what she said

emotional_support_rivals loved the lestappen moment, y/n is their kid at this point

y/n.89 whose last name would I take? maxverstappen1 mine charles_leclerc mine y/n.89 you're both wrong, I'm taking Geri's :) arthur_leclerc hyphenate?

maxiel-lover that start, middle, and finish were just the best

y/n's_version I will have a new Roman Empire every weekend at this point

y/n.89 has posted

y/n.89 race one of freshman year in the books! first woman since lella to gain some points and first woman to stand on any step on the podium. next stop - the number one spot

liked by martagarcialopez19, liakblock, kellypiquet, and 73,209 others

martagarcialopez19 my hero and role model everyone!

liakblock mine too! y/n.89 gonna cry :(

iamred_iamyellow literally number 1 driver, max get out of the way

redbullracing ROOKIE! ROOKIE! ROOKIE!

y/n.89 ADMIN! ADMIN! ADMIN!

arthur_leclerc favorite girl *liked by y/n.89*

landonorris I'll get you next time

y/n.89 surreeee

hE_tUrned_inTo_mE this was one of the best opening races ever, that double overtake around the outside was amazing

y/n_updates this race is going in the history books

Race Stats:

Max Verstappen 

Charles Leclerc  +3.583

Y/n L/n  +1.264

Lewis Hamilton  +2.840

Lando Norris + fastest lap +1.264  

Carlos Sainz +1.830

George Russell +2.375

Oscar Piastri +4.284

Alex Albon +3.001

Fernando Alonso +2.904

Logan Sargeant +1.992

Lance Stroll +5.932

Pierre Gasly +6.200

Daniel Ricciardo +1.209

Yuki Tsunoda +2.092

Esteban Ocon +3.871

Zhou Guanyu +6.997

Nico Hulkenberg +8.287

Valtteri Bottas – DNF 

Kevin Magnussen – DNF 

Driver's Championship Standings:

Max Verstappen – 25 points

Charles Leclerc – 18 points 

Y/n L/n – 15 points 

Lewis Hamilton – 12 points 

Lando Norris – 11 points 

Carlos Sainz – 8 points 

George Russell – 6 points 

Oscar Piastri – 4 points 

Alex Albon – 2 points 

Fernando Alonso – 1 point 

Logan Sargeant – 0 points 

Lance Stroll – 0 points  

Pierre Gasly – 0 points   

Daniel Ricciardo – 0 points   

Yuki Tsunoda – 0 points  

Esteban Ocon – 0 points   

Zhou Guanyu – 0 points   

Nico Hulkenberg – 0 points   

Valtteri Bottas – 0 points   

Kevin Magnussen – 0 points  

Constructor’s Championship Standings 

Red Bull – 40 points 

Ferrari – 26 points 

Mercedes – 18 points 

McLaren – 16 points 

Williams – 2 points 

Aston Martin – 1 point 

Racing Bulls – 0 points 

Alpha Romeo – 0 points 

Haas – 0 points 

Alpine – 0 points  

If you want a continuation, read this chapter of Besties for the Resties!

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @aeh2 @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @cassie0sstuff @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @mellowarcadefun

[inchidentally]

hiii inch!

as the resident landoscar scholar/essayist in the community, i'm curious about your take on their debriefs! ps. i love them both equally so i'm not trying to favor one over the other, just genuinely curious about your thoughts on it :)

it definitely could just be them having different styles of communicating and/or explaining things but i've noticed that whenever lando wins, he always shares his gratitude/appreciation for the team and oscar (even when oscar didn't directly 'help' him) and oscar will give lando credit for winning but then just talk about how bad he did in the race

yet whenever oscar wins, not only does lando hype him up, but he doesn't talk about himself in the debrief & oscar (at least not to my knowledge) has yet to thank/acknowledge lando for contributing to his win (& strangely enough has always thanked sponsors instead??)

so yeah, i hope this isn't too ramble-y & i hope you have a great day! <33

your timing is insane anon bc while scholar and essayist are wayyyy too nice ways to describe me being overly consumed w a hyperfixation, I was actually noticing things similar to your ask in comments sections and had written something that I wasn't sure about posting ! but I think it's worth it simply bc there is such a huge misfire with interpreting Oscar going on - totally not saying you are, anon and you were very clear in what you've said and I rly appreciate you wanting to know my take <3

- first thing to dispel is “Lando thanked Oscar for his first win/for helping make his first win happen” - he didn't! he thanked him for showing what the car was capable of with overtakes. I know I know! reality isn’t as bromancey but the sweetness of it was Lando giving Oscar’s drive a little shout out, but it was not him thanking Oscar for helping with his win. that's why they all chuckled when he stated the reason. and the sweetness remains <3<3 gotta clear that up bc there is no lingering double standard going on there. it’s the same as Oscar praising Lando’s drives. (also, apropos of this ask and ppl seeing Oscar as deficient - contrast that with how Oscar did very deliberately thank Lando for welcoming him to the team!)

- the other thing to dispel is the recency bias of thinking Lando praises and mentions Oscar this much on a regular basis/Oscar doesn’t mention Lando at all (anon, I know you’re not saying that btw). now! reality is that Lando's POV =/= his stans' POV. so from his perspective, as of recently he feels a need to assert himself to the media as a team player and to acknowledge Oscar more and make it known that he acknowledges Oscar helping him in similar ways. I’m not even going to dip a little toe into the reasons why, all that matters is that this is what Lando sees as something he needs to do and say right now especially. plenty of team orders instances and races have gone by where Lando doesn’t mention or acknowledge Oscar or Oscar’s help and plenty of times where Oscar has been the one to bring up and praise Lando where Lando hasn’t etc etc.

to the point where !! last season we had people concerned that Oscar was so Lando-centric and mentioned him so much and was such a great team player with team orders and being happy and supportive for Lando’s successes even when his own race was misery or the result was gutting or he just lost out on a podium - but that Lando wasn’t bringing Oscar up at all or acknowledging Oscar’s races. the turntables etc! literally had the flip situation! (even extending to this season in Melbourne where Lando got so wrapped up in his Quadrant filming and podium he kind of forgot it was Oscar’s literal hometown race salfsafjlah in the post race press conf a journalist brought it up and he was like ‘oh’ - like, Oscar was not upset about that he just wanted a podium!)

and guess what - in both cases it was never a problem for either Lando or Oscar!

seriously, I cannot emphasize enough how much what teammates like Lando and Oscar say to the media and fans is for the media and fans and NOT how they actually communicate to each other as people. Charles and Carlos openly admit they’ll bite chunks out of each other at times in media but then they see each other in person, immediately hug and are totally fine. PR is PR. it’s either not reality or at best it’s a publicly-framed version of it. which leads to…

- Lando and Oscar don’t do the PR or the bromance thing. instead they giggle and side-eye their way through having to do scripted stuff and media interviews, and thankfully their occasional shared-brain thing and contrasting personalities are fun enough for most fans to enjoy. and literally the fact that they beam into each other’s faces Like That and it’s incredibly endearing. which is exactly how they handle these post race videos - trust me, they are not sitting there in media talking the same way they do in their little closed off world of just their drivers rooms and no one else. or even when cameras are off and they’re just around the team or other drivers. equally, they aren’t viewing how they talk about each other to media and fans as relevant. it’s solely how they talk to each other.

- Oscar is an acts of service guy; Lando is a words of affirmation guy. as Lando fandom has so much discussion around mental health*, it is very worth reminding that mental health inclusivity means learning the different ways that different personalities express affection and friendship! there is not just one way! clearly, Lando is very happy with having a teammate who may not talk much but his fondness of Lando makes up multiple compilation videos and posts about being absolutely whipped when it comes to … almost anything Lando wants or prefers (“nope, I’m gonna keep you happy”). and paying such close attention to Lando talking that he helps fill in the blanks when Lando’s brain struggles in public. and watching closely when Lando looked like he might trip over his own race suit. 

- it’s worth mentioning here that Oscar inspires genuine affection in people who gain absolutely nothing from openly liking him. he maintains friendships from his early karting days, still has a group chat from the boys in his boarding house at school, and has been with Lily for 4 or 5 years now - but all of those people either have private social media or have remained so thoroughly normal that they’re undetectable. Tom Stallard, his race engineer, and Andrea Stella have taken to Oscar like a nephew/son despite Oscar not being a demonstratively emotional person (and how for himself he views extreme emotions on par with negative emotions which is innnnteresting!). bear in mind that Andrea and Tom remain very fond of Carlos and count him as a friend still, so their judgment is very much to be trusted <3 if you look up Oscar’s mum Nicole’s episode on The Red Flags Pod she confirms that he’s truly Just Like That and his family adore him. there’s also this tiny but very telling moment of Oscar sending a journalist gifts for their new baby and the fact that The Fast and the Curious Pod (wholesome nerds HQ) view Oscar as their child. and that Abbi Pulling thinks he’s “too nice to be a racing driver”. it’s healthy to learn how to receive love and affection from people based on how they are naturally and comfortably rather than expecting them to behave in ways that are more socially the norm/seen as "acceptable"! 

*and side note it’s extremely gross and anti-mental health the way certain F1 fans have genuinely decided to interpret Oscar’s personality type as evil or cold or unfeeling. that is so profoundly backward and bigoted boomery thinking. yes it’s fine to joke a bit that Oscar’s a baby-face killer or robotic IF you make it clear it’s not true. but when I get sent links to adult women on tiktok claiming that Oscar’s mother and sister are part of some grand PR scheme orchestrated by McLaren to manipulate and maximize Oscar’s image then we’ve officially left the whole ‘I support mental health’ thing and entered ‘I persecute and suspect people who don’t fit a socially acceptable norm’. because of all the drivers who quite literally do orchestrate and manipulate PR for growing their careers or their impact (which is fine btw!!) sorry, Nicole’s sporadic social media presence is not remotely skillful PR and Oscar’s little sister is a college girl using tiktok to talk about her own interests. and if Oscar was trying to PR his way into whatever gain people imagine an introvert who dislikes being on camera could possibly gain then he’s doing an abominable job! his sponsors are still the ones he’s had since before F1 (including his dad’s company), his social media is as standard and bland with highly irregular sprinklings of personality, and he isn’t branching out into anything outside his racing career. like, sorry to destroy anyone’s insane projections of some grand plan onto a guy who truly is just happy to have his job and hang out with his friends and his girlfriend lasfgljsagfjlagfslagfsaj

so anyway, when Lando and McLaren team and staff members love on Oscar, it’s because it’s real and they clearly feel reciprocation from Oscar despite it not being traditionally emotional or verbal. plenty of teams and teammates can be neutral to fully disinterested in a driver and it's fine for it to be like that. if nobody actually liked Oscar or found him cold or unfeeling, they would make little to no effort to seem like they love him or like him. F1 isn't team sports, the whole public face of it aspect just doesn't exist outside of backmarker teams who need social media engagement to keep sponsors happy.

- Oscar is famously Not ! a public speaking/on camera/PR/media person and you can see in their early 2023 stuff how much Lando helps him (this video esp is painfully cute bc Lando encourages and praises him and Oscar’s so pleased he does a song and dance). ask any longtime Oscar fan and they’ll tell you he’s leaned on the energy of extroverts and PR skilled people his whole racing career. and no, he really does not try to be a meme that's just what happens to awkward introverted ppl who have to be on camera a lot ;__;

- Lando used to be just as uncomfortable as Oscar with this stuff! and he’s said many times he has learned and adapted to be better at public speaking and media work, just as Oscar is learning! Carlos basically socialized and raised Lando from shy, twitchy mumbly little introvert to the person he became around 2021/2022. and we all observed how Lando basically copied Carlos and Daniel’s sense of humor to develop the bromance content we all know and love. and he does the same with Max F on streams as well. I wish I could find it but he said in one of the early winter break 2023 streams how he ‘usually lets other people do most of the talking and he interjects occasionally’.

-re the “thanking the sponsors” thing: to help Oscar get by on camera, especially with spontaneous speaking, Oscar uses little ‘scripts’ he’s worked out and approved of ahead of time so that he doesn’t have to deal with the white noise that hits him when having to speak spontaneously (the famous little ahhhh’s and uhhhhm’s and long delays he has before answering). which is why things like thanking the sponsors has been in rotation lately since it’s something Andrea said (remember him being teased for saying 'we're in Austria' x 50? and repeating the bit about his wisdom teeth? and the refrain of ‘my girlfriend says…’) because he’s just trying to get out something he knows is acceptable and palatable. compare the stiffness of his post race videos with when he’s one on one with an interviewer (the Laura Winter one is great) or filming non-scripted stuff w Lando and you can see the difference between him feeling under pressure vs how he expresses himself when he’s relaxed. 

- it’s genuinely weird and adorable how Oscar doesn’t use gushy language or do PDA with Lily or Lando, but in exactly the same way with both he loves bringing up their little quirks or what they disagree with him about or things they like that he doesn’t etc ??? idk if they’re secretly very similar or what but for some reason Oscar shows his affection for them only occasionally in plain terms, but mostly by bringing them up seemingly for no reason and in extremely mundane ways ?? idk it’s just a very very cute observation I wanted to point out and he doesn’t do that with any other people aslfgsljagfafgl

so yes, those are the Things To Know about Oscar and his relationship with other people and with Lando to explain why he isn’t like Lando, Carlos, or Daniel. and that whether or not Lando or Oscar bring each other up or acknowledge each other in media duties is not something to get stuck on because that’s not something they personally pay attention to in their relationship. we got used to a specific almost identical type of teammate relationship with Lando’s previous two - and even other teammates who are less close all follow a similar pattern of humor and media friendly behavior. but Oscar is weird, Lando is weird and just adapts better, and they’re both very weird together. they can mindread when not under pressure and they obsess over details about each other’s food and choices etc and go off on bizarre tangents about naps and music and they don’t like posting content about their downtime together/purely social hanging out. oh and they openly complain that they want to spend more non-racing time together as if they couldn’t just… do it more ?? yea they’re just like that.

somehow I have more to say but it’s mostly observations so under a cut it goes (but the stuff above is basically the main points I wanted to make!)

a lot of misconceptions have happened both because Lando's grown and changed so much since the start of 2023 and because Oscar's real personality is so slow to be revealed... and tbh it's def yet to be understood fully by a lot of people…

Lando very openly kicked against the idea of being the older/more experienced big brother role widely expected of him when Oscar was announced for Mclaren (to this day he jokingly but semi seriously says he envies Oscar’s “youth”). Lando had spent the previous four years as little brother and gotten very comfortable in that role. around Austin 2023, he realized Oscar was happy to look after himself and didn't need serious help with anything except media/PR/public speaking. this is where Lando found his big brother role and ran with it happily. it’s where the Finish the Lyrics video happened and we saw a major shift in the landoscar dynamic.

take Lando’s initial insecurity trying to figure out the dynamic with a quiet, low energy rookie and contrast that with how someone five years behind in experience to their teammate is NOT as secure of his position** and has much more to prove. yes Oscar has a contract but he knows better than anyone !! that those are not set in stone or immutable. he frequently has said - and his mom has said - Lando's place in F1 is already established as a front-runner. therefore Oscar's job is to push himself and prove himself to that level.

all of which is why you can’t look at Lando and Oscar in media - or even on track - and mistake their closeness in age for being able to judge them similarly. 

**the refrain of 'why can't he be a support driver until Lando gets a WDC' is easy to answer: for one thing absolutely NO driver wants that and for another, he very understandably does not assume he has the space or stability to just not try his hardest unless specifically asked by the team. 

without opening a can of worms on my personal opinions, I’ve consulted my family/friends of family who have been F1 obsessed since I was born - and the reality of guys who are seen or who actually are ‘support driver’ (not rly an official term but we all know what it is) is NOT the same as a number 2 driver, and neither of those are even options for Oscar. 

a number 2 is a driver seen as having become relatively disposable compared to the number 1 and who just wants to keep a seat in F1 despite the insult. they will at least tacitly accept that their role is to follow team orders and suck it up while number 1 chases the glory (whether that’s points or podiums). a number 2 has a limited life span either because his skill drops off and he becomes a liability or because he can’t stand it after a while.

a support driver is someone who either brings money/sponsorships/a unique regional fanbase and can occasionally or at least theoretically compete with their teammate. and who for whatever reason is judged as the guy who has to suck it up when the other guy has a better shot at the glory. but if the other guy falls behind or suffers a DNF, the support driver is automatically the number one. and if the support driver has a shitty season or the gap in ability widens between him and his teammate, he retains his seat anyway because of the money/sponsorships/unique regional fanbase he brings. so basically, he’s pretty damn safe.

Oscar does not bring money, sponsorships or a unique regional fanbase. Australia doesn’t need convincing to be invested in F1, Oscar’s sponsorships are peanuts compared to what sponsor-grabber Zak Brown already has and Oscar’s funding ran out before F1 and his career only continued because of Mark Webber taking an interest in him (for more on that, see K’s excellent primer - you can scroll down to the screencap of a sheet with a lot of numbers on it for that particular part). and despite insane conspiracy theories about him, Oscar’s PR and image not only don’t have anywhere near the numbers of many other drivers, he also had to recover from the immensely bad PR following Alpinegate. he had most fans of McLaren, Alpine, Danny Ric and Lando (as the prospective teammate) all hating his guts before he’d even stepped into his first papaya race suit. all he’s had getting him past all of that was his promise from F2 and F3 and then his improvement as a driver.

so that’s being support driver out of the question.

and also referencing Mark Webber, without leaning too cornily into the obvious like… no, Oscar’s not going to be the one F1 driver to be okay with the idea of being a number 2. his own mother said how he viewed potentially having Lando as a teammate as advantageous for a rookie because he wouldn’t be expected to match up immediately. the flipside of that is what he’s had to achieve and become immediately after his rookie year in order to be seen as around Lando’s level. his job is to prove to McLaren and to his race team that he's going to try and bring them the best result on every outing. if mathematically that means team orders in favor of Lando then fine, which he's more than proven he'll do. but without said orders, Oscar's job remains to try and get at the very front - just like it is Lando's. there isn't an option or a reason for Oscar to just... intentionally fail or ease off that responsibility (again, unless ordered to).

so that's a no go for being a number 2 driver.

and some more about Oscar and mental health for those who think it only applies to drivers who talk about it frequently: Oscar has talked about how, when his dad came with him to the UK, initially Oscar felt he had "too much time to think". and about his difficulties in moving all alone to boarding school (“sacrificing” being with his family) on the other side of the world at fourteen. I cannot for the life of me find the post again but he even hired a sports psychologist to help him. he’s always been called mature and competent for his age and he and Lily seemed to just go right into domestic almost-married codependency after about two years together. there’s a whole school of thought about children who leave home early and parentification and boarding school syndrome etc but that’s getting way too speculative for even me to go into. but basically, Oscar leapt into a lot of unknowns without a lot of the usual safety nets drivers have/have had. he's had to be self-reliant in a way that's not common among the extreme privilege of the average F1 driver and for those who have it similar to him, they have a similar outlook and approach***. so to mistake his confidence and determination for cockiness or coldness is as wildly off as people misinterpreting Lando’s genuine honesty for him being a cocky asshole. overall, Oscar’s self-assurance and maturity are why he’s continued and succeeded in such a volatile sport and pipedream career because compared to a lot of other drivers on the grid, he has not had a smooth or assured journey.

***obv in reality, apart from Ocon and Hamilton, we're always talking about very relative disadvantages. but Oscar is absolutely in the class of drivers who have to live far away from a family support system and who financially were not guaranteed career progression.

by contrast, Lando was a totally unique phenom and had big, welcoming hands grab him as a teenager and bring him into the McLaren and F1 fold. pundits and cameras and fans all saw him bringing drinks to Alonso and toddling around being helpful in the garage before his time with the team had even come. by the time he drove his first F1 race he was already everyone's beloved baby and Carlos basically got a crash course in parenting as he took full responsibility for socializing Lando and even having to cope with his teenage mood swings. Lando also had a comparatively gentle learning curve by dint of being so immensely talented and exceeding expectation for his age - but also always having older, more experienced teammates as his nearest competition. I will say he made sure to state he didn't want people to give him bias simply because his teammates had such an advantage of experience - and that he personally judged himself equally against them (to his detriment of confidence sometimes!). but it's only logical that people would factor in the age gaps anyway. by the time he'd entered his third year in F1 he was firmly established, had one of the largest fanbases and McLaren couldn't have made it clearer how badly they wanted to keep him from the clutches of other teams.

again - very much NOT saying that Lando doesn't feel the need or pressure to keep proving himself because he absolutely does, but it's still a VERY unique and unusual first few years in F1 !! 

Oscar had a very different experience of not knowing if he could progress after winning F2, having to hang around in reserve and then show up at McLaren without much fanfare (except the unanimous walls of hate from Danny Ric fans, Alpine fans and McLaren fans) and work from the backmarkers up with the team to prove himself - all while those months before the upgrades were spent with fans united in wanting him to fail and celebrating his difficulties.

so yea, all even more worth bearing in mind when it comes to how Lando takes the approach of speaking about Oscar and the team from a proprietary sense of pride - versus Oscar still focusing on his own races because it’s normal for young drivers early in their careers to be more focused on proving themselves and asserting themselves in order to become established in the way Lando is now. they seem so similar in so many ways but when it comes to their positions in the team and in the sport, it’s well worth remembering that big gap exists and why it makes them different sometimes - but that crucially, they end those post race videos united either in misery or in happiness and pride <3

I AM SO SORRY TO EVERYONE WHO READ THIS FAR GOD I WON’T SHUT UPPPP

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Sex Worker AUs

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want us to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

Lando/Oscar

nsfw: dancing on quicksand by @tearstrung | E | 3.3k Lando is outrageous, and Oscar struggles to understand what's a joke and what isn't - until he sees a link on Twitter. This fic is red hot, very funny, and perfectly characterised! Oscar's special brand of bamboozlement is especially wonderful here, as he comes to terms with Lando's job on the side. The ending is like a beautiful punch to the gut. Love it!

'Though, the guy’s skin is similar in color to Lando’s—olivey, the natural tan Lando wears year-round, even if he’s barely been in the sun with his shirt off. The same big hands, which don’t really match up with his small stature, rippled with lithe muscle; followed by a wide ribcage that slips down into a tiny, tapered waist. Nipples, shades darker and always hard from what Oscar can see from a long scroll. At the tips of the guy’s fingers, Oscar notices leftover chew marks, the skin pulled back, nails bitten short into nubs.'

Carlos/Lando

nsfw: when the time comes by @venerat | E | 7.6k Lando asks his friend Carlos, an escort, to arrange an appointment with another male escort for him. Lando has never been with a man and wants to have the experience. When Pierre falls ill and has to cancel, Carlos decides to go in his stead. Only one problem, though - Carlos is in love with Lando. Will he be able to keep his emotions in check? This situation could have been awkward but Lando is nothing but sweet and kind with Carlos. The encounter results in a lot of revelations for them both, and although they seem to start the next phase of their relationship a bit backwards, they clearly have a future together.

Time doesn’t seem to be very real. Carlos thinks. He thought it would be different than this, that’s all. Different from the way it’s—happening. Because the way it’s happening feels like sex. Real sex. It doesn’t feel like work. It doesn’t feel like a transaction. It feels like—trite; cliche, of course, but—it feels like passion.

Charles/Pierre

nsfw: pièce de résistance by @capsize (copenhagenborn) | E | 14.5k Pierre, a sex worker, is approached one night by the assistant of someone calling himself Marc. Marc, it turns out, is really Prince Charles of Monaco and is looking for an arrangement. This is quite low-angst for a royalty AU (don't get me wrong, I love my angst) but this fic just has them slot together so easily. Pierre is rather happy as a sex worker, which is actually a nice change when it comes to sex work fic. The relationship side of things is slow burn and even the inevitable miscommunication part of the story is done so well I enjoyed it.

'Pierre does spend the night. He sends Charles a picture of his gateau marcel and soaks in the tub as he finishes the bottle of wine they were supposed to share. The house is predictably a mess when he gets home: George is crying on the couch with his eyes glued to the television, a small Union Jack pulled from somewhere and now proudly displayed in front of him. Alex is sitting by his feet, badly hiding his laughter as he scrolls through what Pierre can only imagine being memes. Lando is passed out in the corner, a bottle of vodka close to his hand, while Oscar stares at him with an oddly closed-off look in his eyes. Pierre isn’t quite up to date on the current geopolitical relationship between Australia and the rest of the commonwealth. Pierre sits down next to Max at the dining table, sips his water and goes, “What does it mean if someone has to be summoned after the death of dear old Lizzy?”'

nsfw: cause baby, I'd be satisfied forever by @wolfiemcwolferson | E | 88.5k Pierre, retired from racing after a career-ending injury, is closer to 40 than 30 now and has reinvented himself as a designer. He's also venturing out of the closet. He is put in touch with Charles, who gets by as a sugar baby, and decides this is a perfect way to get some experience dating another man. Pierre finds himself developing feelings for Charles. I'm at a point now with @wolfiemcwolferson fic where I just gesture wildly at whatever they've written and make vague noises but in the interests of trying to sound like the sane person I pretend to be, this fic is a perfect distillation of the Pierre/Charles relationship. What if they didn't meet until later in life? What if Charles never went beyond karting? What if the age gap was larger? All of these, and yet, it's still them. There is a "soulmates in ever universe" theme in the Piarles fandom and this story absolutely embodies it.

'He’s beautiful and he smells like cologne and something fresh and he’s still not let go of Pierre’s hand - the cool leather underneath Pierre’s hand seems so…foreign. So flipped. Pierre considers all the time he touched other people’s hands while wearing leather gloves. “I hope I am not late,” Charles smiles at him still. “I missed my train and I -” “Charles,” Pierre says, realizing that Charles seems a bit nervous - a bit ruffled. “I only just arrived. “Come and let’s go inside. We can get warm.” His smile makes his perfect face less so - a mere mortal instead of the god he is and Pierre gets it immediately.'

Charles/Sebastian

nsfw: Be Snoozing That Lust In The Morning by @sebchalex & @meova101 | E | 14.5k When Formula 1 decides to clean up their sponsors, teams are left scrambling to find money. Ferrari finds an unconventional way to get more budget – Charles starts an OnlyFans. The initial premise of Charles having to get an OnlyFans to help Ferrari is just unhinged enough that it could be real – but this fic has a lot more to offer than just comedy. The way it follows Charles personal growth from not believing he could actually make money of OF, being embarrassed when Seb subscribes, to them working together to produce record breaking content and falling for eachother in between – its like a modern day fairytale, if Cinderella had to sell nudes to help the evil stepmom with money.

"This was the only way," Charles says. "I know this could tarnish the Ferrari legacy and everything, but I want to help my team. I will do anything to make them stay on top." Once he finishes his sentence, he looks straight at Sebastian. It's already disgraceful enough that he had to do this in the first place, but this type of rejection coming from Sebastian is making him feel worse. Finally, Sebastian raises his hands in a yielding gesture. "Fine," he says, sending a breath of relief through Charles. "I still have a problem with it." "Seb, I know. I wish there was another way as well, but—" "It's not about that," Sebastian says, looking even more pissed. "Have you realised that your pictures are terrible?" Well. Charles certainly hadn’t expected that. "What?" "Charles, if you are charging that much in the first place, then you should at least put in a little bit more effort," Sebastian explains, extending his hands out. "Your lighting was horrible, and it was blurry. Why did no one offer help?"

nsfw: With you I'm in real danger by @jean----ralphio | E | 55.5k Charles, a well-known porn actor, shelters from a mob of fans by hiding in a rare books shop. The bookseller recognises him but is too considerate to say anything about it. Charles notices and they strike up a friendship, and more. Charles and Seb are from such very different worlds. Charles is accustomed to sometimes being judged for his line of work but Seb treats him with utmost respect at all times, which should be a low bar but isn't. Things get a bit rocky for them in true romance story fashion, but all is well by the end.

Sebastian feels himself go bright red, as Charles’ mischievous smile turns gleeful. “I can tell the instant I meet someone whether they know who I am or not,” he explains. “So I knew right away that you know of me.” “Ah. Sorry.” Sebastian feels foolish, guilt settling over him for not having been honest about it from the beginning.

Pierre/Yuki

nsfw: your mouth makes me reconsider where my heart lies by @yukierres | E | 10.4k Pierre, still an F1 driver, discovers a streamer who plays video games while using sex toys and is immediately fascinated (and hugely turned on). He lavishes gifts and money on the man on his screen, and finds himself falling in love with someone he hasn't even met. The guys are so well characterised. Yuki is unashamed, he loves what he does, is brilliant at it and gets well paid for it too. You can see why Pierre couldn't resist. Pierre is confused and ashamed as hell to begin with (that darned Catholic guilt again) but can't stay away. The author grows the relationship to a point where it seems inevitable that Yuki will one day feel comfortable enough meeting Pierre in real life.

"That was -" Pierre says around breaths, a laugh in his voice, disbelief in what has just happened. Yuki himself has flopped back on the bed, laptop now beside him as he lies against the pillows. His eyes are wet and pink looking, a content sheen in them. "That was something else." A pleased cat-like expression forms on his mouth. "You enjoyed that Pierre?" He says with a blissed-out face, attempting to bat his eyes temptingly at the camera before yawning tiredly, the whole face scrunching up. It is more cute than seductive in the end, but it doesn’t matter because Pierre is head over heels either way.

Daniel/Max

nsfw: chemical highs and clear blue skies by @yekoc | E | 43.5k Daniel is a porn actor, which is where he meets newbie Max. Max, along with his cats, crash on Daniel’s couch whilst they continue to shoot various scenes together. They get to know each other and get to miscommunicate on the way to comfort. The pacing of the plot was really pleasant to read, as was the dialogue. Max is flippant but also careful and cautious at the same time. Daniel is self assured and kind and perhaps a little too trusting. Both of them keep their cards close and all of it makes for a very gratifying read.

'Max laughs, just a little bit, something that in someone else you might call a giggle. Daniel hasn’t seen him laugh before. He’s seen him come—in person, and then over and over again on video that one night, which he should probably forget about really quickly. Max laughing is oddly similar; it breaks something hard about him all to pieces.'

nsfw: Fly Fast (With Broken Wings) by @mysticalbreadcollective | E | 44.2k (ongoing) Max is an escort who turned to sex work due to lack of options. Daniel is an F1 driver, and Max's first ever customer. Daniel quickly becomes obsessed with Max - but the Max that Daniel first knows is a construct - the real Max guards his feelings out of necessity and can't afford to go all in with Daniel. Daniel doesn't understand the precariousness of Max's situation, or why Max would choose to keep working and earning his own money - keeping his independence - rather than agree to become Daniel's kept man. This fic digs deeply into the power imbalance and dubious consent issues of sex work, the necessary artifice of it and the need for emotional armour and distance on the part of the worker. Daniel, sadly, proves Max right with some of his behaviour - he can be selfish and spoiled, and sometimes outright cruel. There is love on both sides, but this relationship is a minefield they each misstep in more than once.

'“You think you are saving me, but it will be someone else. And maybe they will not be so nice.” Emilian says, and oh fuck, his voice is cracking a little at the end and Daniel can’t stand it. Because Daniel knows. He knows the types of clients, can imagine them, the ones that would pay extortionate amounts of money for Emilian. He feels sick hearing Emilian’s voice shake a little, wonders how nervous Emilian has been for this. What he was expecting, who he was expecting. When the agency told him that he was meeting someone who’d pay extra for him. If Emilian had built it all up in his head what he’d be asked to do. And then to say he’d been hopeful that it had been Daniel. Shit.'

Daniel/Lando

nsfw: asunder, asunder by @ladyeggplant | E | 53.3k Lando is very socially awkward, highly intelligent and cashed up. He decides the best way to lose his virginity is to hire an escort. The progression of the relationship here from transactional to something more is not smooth. Lando really doesn’t have much of an understanding about how a relationship should work and makes a few big missteps, especially later in the story as the emotional stakes get higher. Daniel is professional and gentle as he gradually figures out exactly what Lando needs. Lando is physically inexperienced and emotionally awkward and nothing about it is easy.

Silence settles over steeping tea and half-eaten fruit, and he wishes he’d left the music on, because at least it would make this awkwardness bearable. He’s had super wealthy clients before, but none of them this young, and none of them this achingly insecure where it was practically bleeding out of them. Everyone who has ever booked him as wanted him there, obviously—it feels like Lando would rather eat glass than sit in the same room as him. Daniel clears his throat. “So, first time, huh?” Lando chokes mid sip.

Carlos/Charles

In for a penny, in for a pound by @f1-stuff | M | 7k (ongoing) Charles, smarting after being unceremoniously dumped by his girlfriend, hires an escort to take as his plus one to Arthur's wedding. A dashingly handsome man turns up to the rendezvous, and they figure out Charles checked the wrong box when he was making the appointment. He's spent the money, Carlos is easy company, so he decides to roll with it. This fic is amusing and sweet. Carlos is wonderful at his job - perceptive and empathetic and kind, and is probably way ahead in understanding of Charles's sexuality than Charles is himself.

“Charles...listen,” he says, shifting slightly in his chair. He looks self-assured and confident with one leg crossed over the other, hands loosely clasped over his knee. Charles is annoyed and jealous of him all at once. “I probably shouldn’t say this, considering why you hired me. But you are trying to prove to your ex that you aren’t sad and lonely by hiring someone to pretend to be in love with you...” The man raises his brows at him. “You do see the irony, no?” Charles scoffs, shaking his head down at his lap. But he can’t deny that this guy sort of, possibly, has a point. Great, even the escort he’s paying to not make him feel so pitiful is calling him out.

Mark/Seb

nsfw: pleaser by @alltimecharlo | E | 34.6k Seb is a student struggling to make rent, and Mark is a very successful lawyer. They enter a mutually beneficial agreement. This story is fantastic - the author characterises them both beautifully, and they are the perfect balance of sweet and hot and funny. I particularly loved Sebastian's first trip to Mark's house... A gorgeous story, with lots to love.

Mark’s sitting right there. Like, directly in front of the changing room in one of the extremely comfy-looking armchairs, his eyes latching directly onto his form once it’s revealed and lingering there so heavily that Sebastian almost feels the need to hide his entirely clothed body. The older’s green eyes flick up and down his lithe frame so intensely that Seb can feel his stomach doing flips and a burning heat instilling under his skin. It only worsens when he watches Mark’s tongue dart outwards to wet at his lips.

In order to keep this list organised we have chosen to categorise it as 'Sex Worker AUs'– note that we understand that some tropes here are not always sexual in nature nor are they always categorised as sex work. We respect any and all sex workers and non sex workers alike!

[starplusfourletters]

I read vision of the future (hand of thrawn book 2 aka Who Scams the Scammers)

(spoilers) and once again it turned into a liveblog, apologies

Hold up are we doing Warrior Cats? Is this Warrior Cats Planet??

What base is “arm around your waist to serve as a psychic translator conduit”

Omigod I WISH my Warrior Cat name were “Jaded of Mara”

Everything I know about Soontir Fel I learned from x wing but I would not have guessed his primary motivation to be "dirt"

@ luke and mara: the girls are talkingggggg

North Barris Spaceport has me twitching

Ghent not remembering who the president is and just assuming it’s probably Leia. I mean fair

What base is "holding hands to brace yourselves over a swarm of flesh eating insects"

So we’re finally asking why Mara ISN’T actually dark side and the answer is… shrug emoji?

Man Zahn really is stuck on “character bonding hike” as a device huh. But consider I eat that shit up

Oh No Lando is racist

LMAO at “so oblivious you need a child pterodactyl to tell you to just kiss already” to “besides I don’t want my life to be like spiderman three I hated that movie” to “kissing with dubious consent” ALL ON THE SAME PAGE like Zahn finally realized he really needed to get this show on the road

LMAO at Ghent getting a free pass from Pellaeon to hack the empire. Like you’re just going to get the thing you need and not steal all of our military and political secrets right? Riiiight? Even more LMAO at the fact that that would probably not even occur to Ghent

When everyone assumes they're the protagonist so finding this one macguffin is their job personally. Like guys I like the energy but maybe we've got enough different plans to do the same thing (the exception, hilariously, being Luke) (and Oh No it turns out Luke is the one to find the macguffin because You Have to Follow Your Heart and Let the MacGuffin Come to You. I eat that shit up also)

Mara’s just... So great.

Not to make everything about my blorbo but absolutely to make everything about my blorbo I do wonder to what extent Ahsoka’s characterization post-Rebels doesn’t click for me is because a lot of the more obvious directions for Oldsoka overlap with Mara, and the powers that be didn’t want to reinvent the Mara Jade wheel. Not to say they have similar characterization – Mara has terminal sam coded dean girl syndrome – but idk, in dynamic range maybe? Calling out bullshit, weaponizing her own abrasiveness, covering insecurity with humor, being Kind of a Lot with a side of trust issues at any given moment – there are modes Mara and Youngsoka share that didn’t pass to Oldsoka apparently. Idk possibly all this is just me wanting them to TALK

Establishing that you can do evil things for selfless reasons without necessarily being in any danger of falling to the dark side is... Philosophically interesting

We interrupt this tale of political espionage to bring you Jedi Relationship Counseling (spoiler alert: communication is key)

"That part of her life [Mara’s time with Palpatine] had died unmourned" I mean mourned a little bit. Mourned for at least a book and a half

I've been willing to suspend my disbelief on everything in this book until "both Luke and Mara forget that ysalamiri exist"

I will never not be a sucker for The Movements and Transferred Ownership of Emotionally Significant Weapons

Oh No thrawn made a second foundation

The Aing-Tii seem OP but whatever

Oh No the second foundation forgot to close the garage doors

(Re: The Jade’s Fire) I know Mara’s having a Moment, and I promise I’m taking it seriously, but when the warrior cat asked “What is it you want, Mara Jade” my WHOLE BRAIN responded with "I want Hermione Granger! And a rocket ship!"

Moranda has real Kevin from home alone energy and I'm living for it

Is it bad that I’m actually kinda happy the Imperials’ Bothawui shield plan worked? Like, they had a really interesting plan and I’m happy for them. They earned it

WAIT IS MORANDA DEAD FR?

What base is “full mind meld while you’re fighting for your lives”

Who would win: ~1.5 Jedi, 2 sentinel droids droidekas, or Artoo with a sauntering gun

If I had a nickel for every time this duology explicitly established Jedi can’t go completely without oxygen, even when in a trance, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot but which makes me feel like the Ahsoka show had a weirdly specific axe to grind with the source material

Luke’s proposal to Mara is Just. The. Funniest. Thing. That’s some Anakin-level cringe and the prequels aren’t even out yet. He truly is his father’s son.

I mean POV there’s this guy and for a couple years you want to kill him, and then you realize that’s more of a You Problem, so then you’re friendquaitances for a decade mostly because you don’t approve of the shit he’s getting into, and then you have one (1) honest conversation and get caught in a death trap and he’s like “so I think the next step for us is marriage”

LEIAAAAAA! Full Jedi Knight Leia is both terrifying and hot. I would run.

“So it is treason” – Some random guy

Lando needs to be on the New Republic payroll simply for being willing to speak to any of the other characters and also he needs a raise. This poor guy getting called on to command the entire New Republic fleet mid-battle and he’s like “I’ve been a civilian for 15 years and also I knew you would pull some horse piss like this steve”

Mara Jade, Imperial protege. Skills include: Identifying load-bearing walls. (Now all I want is Property Brothers: Sith Edition)

Mara please. Luke please. These absolute idiots. This is some pear scene shit. I hope nothing bad happens to them ever

The whole back half of this book has been an emotional rollercoaster for me specifically because I wanted Flim to be Thrawn FR soooooo baddddd. And now I’m sad. His name literally means scam don’t do this to me Zahn

I’ve been amused by all the Star Wars universe idioms but I gotta take a moment to specifically showcase “burned your sky-arches.” Karrde is a delight to have in class

Having an independent intelligence agency that’s supposed to work for both the New Republic and the Empire seems absolutely unhinged but go off I guess

When the New Republic and Empire sign peace accords and Luke can’t even be bothered to show up

Mara is great and her arc is fuckin hilarious to me. The narrative has identified her as The Damaged One and I’m like???? She came to terms with her troubled past, drew her own boundaries regarding the Dark Side, recognized that there are people who care about her instead of pre-emptively pushing them away, and resolved to form deeper emotional connections. Smash cut to ROTS Anakin whose physical and psychic damage has literally turned his brain into oatmeal

Again I know this was before the prequels Mad points for explicitly saying Mara needed to form attachments to become a Jedi. Zahn being pretty gangsta there

OH NO THEMB

[maddiescinema]

Im searching yh on wehre Lando has a best friend and she gets really sick. He's worried and calls his mom and I think they even shower together??? PLS help me!!!

ok so i did find one that was somewhat similar to what you described but not exactly, so i’ll share it BUT if this isn’t the one you’re looking for please let me know!!!

“Taking Care” by @yourimagines

[race-week]

when you did your predictions, did you estimate with the types of races left on the calendar, i think some of them could suit ferrari more tho like singapore so like your second prediction you actually think it’s possible that piastri could jump leclerc?? isn’t leclerc also closer to lando than he is?

Piastri is currently 13 points behind Leclerc, who is 19 points behind Norris. So Piastri is closer to jumping Leclerc, than Leclerc is to jumping Norris.

And over the last 9 races, Piastri has scored an average of 16 points a race compared to Leclerc’s 10.5. When looking at the season as a whole they average about the same on points scored per weekend (approx 12). So it’s not impossible for Piastri to sneak ahead in the standings especially when there’s going to be tracks that suit the McLaren more so.

To be honest though, I didn’t go into that level of detail with analysing circuit characteristics, mostly because that was an additional step that I considered but then decided against, because taking an average of the previous events takes into consideration that different strengths and weaknesses of teams at different tracks, as the previous tracks do share similarities with the upcoming ones.

[f0point5]

I am in a career that is highly competitive in a very similar way to f1. I can say, from experience, that having friends who share that same limited spot, competitive, career as you is very much a double edged sword.

You are both aware that you are competing for that top spot that only one can be in, you are both very talented, you both have ambition, and your life is very much given to that thing you both do in a way that no one else really understands. In a sense, you are the only people who truly understand each other, and there is a kind of familial kinship that develops in a way.

But also, you are both aware that you stand on opposite sides of the scale, a win for a friend is a loss for you, I win for you is a loss for your friend. You want to see your friend happy, but it comes at the cost of your own happiness. You treat each other as equals, you are friends as equals, but the people who perceive you, the rest of the world ranks you as one above the other. No matter what one is always lesser, one is always greater.

One sees the others success and says “well I’m just as good at this too, but I can do this, but I have this skill or attribute, why don’t you all see that. Why do you only see them?”

You hate that that’s the way things are, but live that they are your friend and are happy for their success and amazed at what they can do, but that happiness eats at you because why not you. The hate and love for your friend and equal-but-not-equal coexist.

So comments like Lando’s- complementing max one second, saying something a bit less positive the next, make complete sense to me, it’s honest. He loves max and is happy and amazed for him and what he’s able to do, he hates that he can’t seem to live up to that same expectation.

Max is the scale Lando is measuring himself against, clearly, it wears at him. Max is in top of the world. The jealousy, envy, and exasperation, coupled with the knowledge that there can only be one, and that it is not Lando, hurts. But Max, who Lando wants to beat, to be better than is also someone he cares for and wants to be happy for. Both sides coexist and it creates a duality that stings. But it is the way that it is, there really isn’t a way around it, even if you try your hardest to find one. That’s the reality of the situation.

Not the only way to interpret this, but definitely mine.

And I’m definitely not talking about the Law career here, that is, in fact, my second career. lol

-🥖🥖🥖🥖anon

Yeah, this. All this.

I mean, again, I think it’s a bit wild that people are basically expecting Lando to say “he’s better than me” about Max, consistently and succinctly. He is, we all know it, but if that’s how Lando thinks then he wouldn’t be where he is and he’s wasting his time. Maybe in the depths of his psyche he knows, but he can’t acknowledge that within himself, let alone publicly, otherwise he’s basically wasting his time.

Plus, he wouldn’t be where he is if it was easy for him to just accept people are better than him. Lando didn’t win f2, so what if he’d just said “ah well George is better than me” and left it at that?

That’s not how a competitive mindset works.

And with all Lando specifically has hanging over him, him even acknowledging Max’s talent is pretty good sportsmanship. (Let’s not forget, Lewis couldn’t even say Max’s name for years, sitting on several world titles, because Max’s existence bugged him)

If I were Lando I would straight up start refusing to answer questions about him. It seems like not even Perez gets asked about Max this much.

Like, imagine being Lando, the guy’s your friend, you hang out, you go out on his yacht, you attend his girlfriend’s kid’s birthday party…you’re on that level, and you go to work and people are just following around asking “what do you think about the fact that your friend is so much better than you?” How tf do you answer that? Unless you literally just walk away from the question, I don’t see how you’re going to come up with an answer that anybody likes.

Fact is, those drivers of Max’s generation are all thinking “why not me”, and they’ve all got this entwined history with each other, so the “why not me” goes back quite far for some of them. I don’t see how any of them can be expected to just be these perfectly mature, perfectly balanced humans when they’re still in the thick of a competitive career. If they roll over and admit he’s invincible…why tf are they travelling for 24 weeks a year?

Side note…I’m SO interested to know what your primary career is now lol

[carletes]

Team Lando sharing photos of baby karting Lando with his karting mechanic (who is in Montreal this weekend for the GP) is giving me all the wholesome carlankids vibes

Oh my god I totally missed this 🥺🥺 I’ve been thinking a lot about baby Allegra being effortlessly good at every sport she tries, but not knowing what’s wrong with her when she isn’t the best at school, or the best at finding a romantic partner, but at least when she’s racing she can forget all of that. She says something similar to Lando one time, where she says “It’s really the only thing I’m good at,” and it absolutely wrecks Lando’s heart, because he can hear himself, and he has a weepy night with Carlos later thinking about how cruel he used to be to himself, and how he never wants any of his children to think there’s only one thing they’re good at, or that you have to be good at anything for it to be worthwhile at all.

[leclercskiesahead]

https://formu1a.uno/ferrari-con-altezze-piu-aggressive-a-causa-della-configurazione-aero-red-bull-e-mclaren-le-piu-conservative/

It was not debunked that they chose random, there was a especulation made by autosport that is not random but this is not the same as "debunked", it's a piece of opinion

In this news I'm sharing they believe to be random

And about the impact of the strategy, as you can see in this report the biggest wear happened in the beginning of the race

In austria they almost went over limit as well and he wasn't under a bad strategy like in this one.

They also believe carlos might be with the same issue, since they had a similar setup and carlos wasn't under a one stop strategy

In the end it was mostly caused by the nature of the sprint weekend that doesn't allow them to test more and the bumps on the track.

The Race also mentioned using sensor data for selection. Autosport isn’t the only one. Also like, what are the odds that a purely random draw manages to pull out all 3 podium finishers and the pole sitter.

Yes the sprint format also hampered Charles where his team has less time to fine tune his set up. If his floor had even been half mm higher, it could have swung his test from fail to pass, since he only failed by some tenths of mm.

See I do think that Carlos being on the two-stop *could* have helped him keep under the limit, if the scrutineers did decide to call his car back, as he had more robust tyres on average across the race duration so the car can push more efficiently. Which means even if he has a lot of wear at the start, he may not have accrued enough from the remaining laps to fail.

Also if based on the race start alone, his first stint was different from Charles, because once he overtook Ham, he was holding position and just trying not to lose the place back. So for a while Charles is chasing Lando and Carlos is just holding behind. Different situation -> different pressure on the car -> different wear. Maybe that is enough to just keep under the limit. Again, even like half an mm saving by Carlos could have swung it from fail to pass.

Interestingly he did say he wore out his first set of mediums too quickly, so he could have accrued more wear at the start than Charles. So maybe he would still fail. Or maybe his set up had the plank *just* slightly higher. Or rode a few less curbs.

Even if he would fail, isn’t it good for Ferrari that they didn’t choose to call his car up? They could have potentially lost all their points but they only lose half. They also lost less points than merc. Dodge the bullet, take the points, move on to the next race.

[twinkodium]

Babbling session incoming because no one interacted with this post, and I have thoughts to share.

(I’m a Mclaren fan, loving both drivers -obviously more of an Oscar fan but I believe I can stay unbiased)

I hate when people attacking one driver or for a team decision. At the end of the day, some people forget that these boys also have a boss (or multiple ones) who calls the shots and sponsors they need to impress. They’re employees of the team, who has a say in what’s going to happen, but the final decision isn’t theirs and it’ll always be in a favour of the TEAM. Now the Hungary swap and Brazil sprint swap could be seen as different from each other. Simply because Hungary was a team fault, undercutting their own drivers and trying to solve the problem with a swap. The win was Oscar’s, they just messed it up. While in Brazil if it wasn’t for team orders Oscar would’ve won with no pitstop to make and team to mess it up. Neither of them has the pace to really leave the others behind but Oscar was the faster of the two. But as much as I hate team orders and I’m here for the teammates battling it out, I’ve been in the sport to know it’s necessary sometimes.

God, the emotional blackmail Lando had to endure in Hungary… Was so disrespectful and wrong on so many levels, especially towards a driver who was with them when the car was undriveable and he had to wait many years to be in this position, to win races. Lando said it himself that looking back he was stupid not to give back the position immediately because he could’ve fight Oscar for the win, as they were allowed to push each other. Sadly, no matter what Lando does, he’ll always be judged and looked down on.

The thing is that Mclaren wasn’t ready just yet to manage two fast drivers and don’t think they’ve expected Oscar to adapt so quickly and fight with Lando so soon (even tho it should’ve been clear from his CV and how he raced and won championships in his rookie years, but it’s not always a clear indicator). Hence the hesitation on many decisions, mistakes they’ve called during races. Oscar also lost vital points on some of the races when the team fucked him over, he should be so much closer to Lando in the standings. And the hesitation on not backing up Lando fully seems to be ungrateful and disrespectful but also understandable in a way. Two fast and talented drivers, giving similar feedbacks how to develop the car, that helped the team forward last and this year, one of them is with the team for many years so the loyalty should be there but they also have a driver who is smart and adapts to the car pretty quickly and many of the other teams wants to snatch. And if they fuck it up, any of them can leave (Lando unlikely because he’s like Charles – breathes the team in and out) and they’ll never ever have such a strong line up. Or have to wait yet another god knows how many years for it to happen. So the team needs to be very smart not to mess this up and being to BOTH of them which they didn't really accomplish just yet.

But from what I see from the boys’ reactions and behaviours, they’re happy where they are and while they had close moments this year which could’ve ended in tears and damaging their friendship / partnership, it never happened. Because they’re adults who can move on from the setbacks and taking on the new challenge TOGETHER and I hope it stays like it for many years to come.

Chattering, probably no one will read it but 🤷🏻‍♀️

About the Interlagos sprint race, McLaren almost, ALMOST, ruined everything, asking Oscar to give up the position to Lando.

For some reason, all the negative comments are going to Lando and like “he only won because Oscar allowed it”, and yes, it happened BUT everyone forgot that the same thing happened in the Hungarian GP, but the other way around.

McLaren asked Lando to return the position to Oscar - using a ridiculous speech and basically a huge emotional blackmail - and he resisted a lot, many criticized him for that but when he finally followed the team’s orders, they also criticized him for “not having a sense of champion”.

I know Lando is very hated and I’m not saying that Oscar deserves this - neither of them deserves to suffer so much from team mistakes!! - but it’s extremely unfair and unnecessary all the hate that Norris has been suffering, especially because he is literally COMPETING in the drivers’ championship, in second place, while Osc is in fourth place - of course we shouldn’t forget him, but the one who is really competing should receive more “help”, right?

Running the very high risk of being judged, I will post this, x.

[ladyperceval]

F1 drivers x Marvel

Lando Norris - Spiderman

Not only does Lando look like Tom, but I feel like he would be an excellent Peter Parker. Lando does whatever it takes to help Mclaren achieve their goals, kinda like how Peter does whatever it takes to save the world. Both of them are impressionable and let certain people affect the way they think and behave. But in the end these two never, ever give up and are always thinking and doing things that will help everyone.

Pierre Gasly - Doctor Strange

I feel like Pierre would make an excellent Dr.Strange. He might not look like him but he definitely shares the same qualities as Stephen Strange. He is self-disciplined ( have you seen his 2020 season, he was a god). Like Dr. Strange, if Pierre puts his mind to it he will accomplish any task , he is diligent and resourceful to ensure that he is driven to meet all his goals at the highest level possible.He can sometimes be standoffish. He is badass and definitely underrated.

Mick Schumacher - Captain America

These two are all about honour. I feel like Mick understand the pressure of what his surname holds. His dad was one of the greatest in Formula one and Mick would have to step up and help carry that legacy on. He like Steve, has a sense of duty to his family and to his team. This causes him to be somewhat protective of all those people close to him. He will do whatever it takes to reach these goals but he might be a bit outdated and is a bad liar.

Max Verstappen - Thor

This is fitting because I feel like Thor, Max is very unpredictable. He oftentimes underestimates his opponent and his hot-headed ways never really allow him to stop and think about what he is doing. Thor is from royalty and Max often showcases a royal persona when he is at the race track. They are both extremely family orientated which helps to humble them, but I wouldn't want to be on the bad side of these two.

Dani Ric - Iron Man

Millionaire playboy philanthropist. Dani and Tony are so similar it’s actually quite fitting. They are both confident in their abilities (as they should be) however sometimes a bit of arrogance can seep through. When Dani commits ,he does it with everything. He believes in his choices and will follow through with what he believes in. However, unlike Tony, Daniel isn’t selfish. He is a team player and even if the team doesn’t believe in him, he will believe in the team.

Charles Leclerc - Ant Man

Charles, love, let’s face it you are a hot mess (emphasis on hot). Like Scott, Charles has not had the easiest life, he has lost a lot of people close to him and has oftentimes spoken out about his ability to always put himself down. They are both commitment type men, they are ladies men but they are in it for the long run(just waiting for Charles to give me my ring). The world depends on Scott (let’s face it,he was the real hero in endgame) kinda like Ferrari depends on Charles. However, unlike Scott, Charles has the ability to become a great leader.

[jedimordsith]

Do you think the reason Han ships L/M is beacuse he and Leia went through the same ordeal, because reading through the thrawn trilogy the dynamic between Luke and Mara reminds me a lot of the dynamic Han and Leia had in empire strikes back. I also think he probably knows Mara doesn’t feel like she is worthy to Luke similar to how he felt that he wasn’t worthy of Leia.

That’s not an unreasonable assumption. But consider also:

- Han would really like someone else with a practical (read: smuggler) background in the family 

- Han knows Luke likes dangerous women (read: Mara’s PERFECT)

- Mara’s Space!Dad is a SUPER handy person to have an in with

- Mara is extremely hard to kill... which is a key requirement for anyone who is going to take on loving Luke 

- Mara can drink (have you read @celinamarniss‘s drinking buddies series? If not, stop what you’re doing and read it now.)

- Mara is perfectly positioned to get along well with people already in their circle like Lando and to help corral/contain/put the fear of herself into other people in their circle (see: Rogue Squadron) 

- Han takes one look at Mara and knows that if she were Luke’s other half it would annoy the snot out of Fey’lya, and that’s really all the reason you need right there, isn’t it?

- Mara played a key role (intentionally or otherwise) in returning the Falcon to him after Thrawn scooped it up over Endor

- She also saved his kids (and him and his wife and Winter) from Imperial Commandos 

- She just threw herself, light-saber-first, at Thrawn, C’baoth, and the Luuke clone when given the opportunity. Given Han’s penchant for yelling/shooting even against apparently impossible odds, they’re obvs kindred spirits. 

- Mara loves the Fire the way Han loves the Falcon. Again, that makes her Good People.

- Mara Jade needs a family and Han knows what that feels like. He also happens to have family that would conveniently be a great fit for her! 

- Mara has access to fun toys. If she marries Luke, she’s more likely to share those fun toys with Han (think illegal weapons, fake transponder code devices, etc.) 

- Mara is already showing up to save Luke’s butt on the regular, so adding anyone else to mix would be kind of redundant

- Mara makes Luke happy  😍 

[sophiewagentje]

☕️Daniel and Lando situation at Mclaren👀

Lmao get you friends who let you talk shit 😘

So Daniel and Lando is difficult. I think Zak likes both of them a lot and had the hope of creating a Maxiel teammates situation 2.0 which went wrong big time. Cuz Lando is ofc a very different kind of person compared to Max. He isn’t as open, he doesn’t really share daniel humor, he’s trying to take that number one driver seat permanently in mclaren and basically create a similar relationship between him and Mclaren as Max has with rbr or Lewis with merc.

Daniel came into the team after a very bad decision in his career. Like honestly Renault wasn’t a great decision looking back and Daniel really wants to get that wdc before he stops driving. So he joined a rising Mclaren with a Lando who had decided to be more serious, mature, more of a team leader than he was with Carlos. I think Daniel also expected to create a similar dynamic with Lando as he had with Max which just didn’t work at all. So within the team it’s not going great and Daniel just couldn’t get the car like he wanted/needed in 2021.

I personally think that after Monza especially (cuz that has to have hurt a lot for Lando) they were told to get friendlier with each other cuz they really weren’t even close to buddies. And now this season the start was awful just plain awful tho it’s slowly getting better, only now daniel is just having a lot of bad luck and weird strategies. But what people seem to forget (and don’t get me wrong I’m gutted for Danny) is that that is not Lando’s fault. Lando cant help Daniel a lot with the car, Lando can’t do anything about his strategies and Lando isn’t obligated to feel bad for Daniel, that’s just not the kind of sport this is. Lando is trying to prove to Mclaren that he’s their future and you can’t be very nice when doing that.

To be completely honest I think Daniel should’ve gone to mclaren in 2019 or he should’ve stayed with alpine and build that team completely around him. And he has had bad luck cuz the generation immediately after him is insanely talented and ofc he suffered from the merc domination like a lot of good drivers. Which hurts a lot really but yeah☹️

So yeah mclaren isn’t great vibes, I love both my babes and Daniel is suffering in his career atm

Send me ☕️ + topic and I’ll give my opinion!

[someone-worth-racing-for]

Hi 🤗 so I have this theory about Daniel and I’m really eager to know your opinion, of course only if you mind to share :) I also get these somehow off/off vibe from Daniel, I don’t really think he is as nice or chill as he shows. I’ve been thinking why he can’t really succeed this year (no doubt, he has talent) while Lando is just flying with the same car, and I think it is because he is absolutely no team player and bc of that he doesn’t fit in. Carlos and Lando had always shown respect, gratitude and honest appreciation for the team while I don’t see any of it from Danny Ric. F1 is not just about the athletes and their talent and about a good car in my opinion. And I think this is what Daniel gets wrong. I somehow have the feeling after some of his interviews, that he expects that a team works for him and not him working WITH THEM together. I think this is what really was different with Carlos, and that is why Lando is the absolut King of McLaren now. We got to see how a big family this team is and I’m kinda sad that Ricciardo just stands out.

Oh and I can’t finish without some Carlando 🙈: I can’t help myself but imagine, how Carlos said to Lando, that from now on he should take care of the others at the Team bc Carlos was always so thoughtful of them (engineers should eat the food they were trying in Japan etc etc) and Lando just doing the maximum effort now, all the media stuff everything. Carlos taught his little Cabron well 🥺🥺

Of course I’m willing to share my opinion to that topic, especially when you ask so nicely, anonym 😊

I mean, first of all I’m not the biggest Daniel fan, I just don’t really like him or at least not that much like other – I think you have already known that before, anonym, but I even tho he is definitely not one my favourites, I don’t think that Daniel is someone who only pretends to be someone he actually isn’t. I think that the way he shows himself to the world or better what we are able to see from him, is real. I’m sure he is not always that big smiley, loud and funny guy, he also has other sides, but I really don’t think that it’s just an act. If so, he is a really good actor, since he is like that since the begging of his F1 career, I guess.

Going to Daniel’s missing success and performance this year – first, I actually still don’t know too much about F1 and all those things and knowledge that comes with it, so if you want to get a professional answer to your questions, you should better ask someone else, but of course I will still try, but remember it’s only my opinion/my thoughts and I really don’t say I’m right, it’s just what I have heard/read and what I’m thinking about this all here.

I mean, first of all Daniel is new in the team and it seems to be normal to struggle in the first time until you get to know the car better and you are able to understand it and handle it to finally get back to your old, performing self. I think Daniel and Seb are pretty similar at the moment. They still try to figure out everything, while their teammates are already used to the team and car. Lando and Lance already exactly know what to do to cause the car to make those moves they want or how far they can go with it, which the new ones still need to learn and find out. Obviously Carlos seems to be a little exception here.. (LUCKILY!)

So, I think that’s the first point why Daniel’s performance is how it is so far. The second point I think has been explained by Lando during the last press conference. I wasn’t aware of that before (like I have said – I focus more on the drivers, not on the sports itself), but it makes sense to me. Lando has said that Daniel maybe also struggles, because he is used to/prefers it to have a car, which is made for him. You know, what I mean? I’m pretty sure McLaren hasn’t made a complete new car just for Daniel when he has just joined the team and they hadn't known back then how he will perform, because they also had to think of Lando, the one who was already with them for two seasons and who will probably be their future. So it would have been first unfair from team to create a car only for Daniel’s skills (like F1 every cares about something being fair..) and if you ask me, it would also be stupid and very risky for them to do so, since he is the new driver in their team.

So Daniel has to live with it that he probably hasn’t got everything he has asked for and that’s why he is maybe still struggling with it. My boyfriend has already told me the same about Seb a few times, because he is the same like Daniel here (I think Lando has also mentioned that in the press conference). It really doesn’t make neither Daniel nor Seb a bad racer, even the contrary, because if they would have a car, which performs like they want, I think it would be pretty hard to beat them. It’s just the if, you know. Because they obviously don’t have that car, at least not at the moment.

But I guess that’s just the sport. Either you get what you want or you have to try to work with what you have got and I’m sure Daniel doesn’t like it how it is at the moment either, but he probably also can’t really help himself. He just has to keep going. It depends on him, how long he wants to try it and of course also the team (he has a three-year-contract or?).

But I’m sure that also the McLarens for the next few years won’t get built according to Daniel’s wishes, especially since we got to know about Lando’s new contract last week. If one of the McLaren drivers gets a car according to their skills, it will probably be Lando (if anyway), but I’m pretty sure it won’t be Daniel. I mean, think about it – it would make zero sense to give Lando not the best possible car, since he is performing the way he does so far. McLaren would only harm themselves with it and I think it wouldn’t bring them forward one bit. They just have to focus on the better driver and at the moment it is definitely Lando and not Daniel, even when he is more experienced and like many would say maybe also more talented.

I really also don’t know if I’m right here, but back in 2019 when Lando and Carlos have joined McLaren, they were both new in the team and maybe McLaren has found a compromise between the two of them and their wishes for the car and their skills. Maybe that’s why they have both been performing really great in those two years they have been teammates. They were on one level almost the whole time, their performances were always pretty close to each other, when not even similar, because the car was made for both, not only for one of them.

And like Lando has also said in the press conference, Carlos obviously is different compared to Daniel when it comes to that. Please, tell me if I’m wrong here again and it also kind of hurt me to say the following, but I think by now Carlos is already used to be the number two driver, to not be the team’s first choice. It definitely was so back in his Toro Rosso days and probably also at Renault. He had to take what he had got there and work with it. McLaren was different, if you ask me, there has never been a number one driver as long as Lando and Carlos had been teammates, or at least I haven’t been able to tell. But Carlos is definitely the number two at Ferrari once again right now, that’s out of question. And I actually don’t mean that in a bad kind of way – I mean, it’s obvious and actually also logical or? It would be the same as with McLaren – it would make zero sense to build the car around Carlos, their new driver, and not for Charles, who is already used to the car and who has also already won races for them. It would actually really be ridiculous if they would do so. Maybe that’s the reason why Carlos struggles less, because next to all the hard work he had already put into it (and I really don’t want to say here that Daniel or Seb aren’t hard workers), but maybe it’s really because he is already “used” to not have a car for his abilities and just trying to make the best out of his situation and the car he has got. You know what I mean?

Carlos and Daniel are pretty different when it comes to that and both types aren’t bad nor perfect. I mean, if Daniel should ever get the right car, he could become a world champion, but if he won’t get that soon, he probably also won’t ever become a world champion. And if Carlos should ever feel that comfortable in a car that isn’t made for him to even really become a world champion, then it’s pretty great for him, but I think the chances aren’t that big.. But he will be able to collect good points for the team, maybe even winning races in his career and be the best of the rest, but will it last to be the best in the end?! 🤷🏼‍♀️

So, but finally back to your actual ask, anonym – I really don’t know Daniel good enough to say if he is a team player or not. I think the biggest difference between Carlos’ relationship to Lando and Daniel’s to Lando is, that the two of them maybe don’t even have a relationship at all. They are probably only teammates and actually there is really nothing wrong about that, because in the end of the day, they only have to be teammates and no one should expect from them to become friends. Maybe that’s the reason why it maybe looks a little like Daniel isn’t a team player, but I think compared to what Carlos and Lando had, no one would look like a team player.

Daniel probably only does HIS job and not also Lando’s – I don’t mean that Carlos has done so, but I also can’t see Daniel staying in the garage to watch his teammate’s race after a DNF/DNS and support him or to even give him tips and share data (as long as McLaren doesn’t tell him to do so). Daniel’s job would have been done for that day, so he would probably don't see a reason why he should stay and “be there” for his teammate. And again, it’s actually okay like that, because that’s what they are there for – racing, doing their jobs and nothing more.

I always say that I’m too soft for this sport and if you ask me, I would also say that it shouldn't just only be about money and who has the most, but yeah – that’s obviously how F1 works sadly.. Also, I could never be a racer, because I would probably instantly start a friendship with my teammate and I would probably also cry if I would hear said teammate swearing about me on the team radio – I’m just not made for it at all. But at the moment it really seems like F1 is all about money, even tho Lando and Carlos has also showed us, that it can be different (their friendship/teamwork) and that this difference can also work, but that doesn’t mean that every teammates have to get along that great, as long as it doesn’t harm the team and the results.

Lando and Daniel are doing what the team expects them to do – they are teammates. Not more, not less and it’s okay that way. What the fans have expected from the two of them is another thing. I know many have thought the two of them would get along easily and they probably even do, but not in the way the fans had hoped for.

Many had hoped that those McLaren challenges will go on like they had while Carlos was still with McLaren or maybe get even more, and funnier content, but it seems like the contrary is happening. And if I’m serious, I think that maybe Daniel has told them, that he isn’t willing to do some kind of challenges. I don’t want to say because of his age (Daniel is not a grandpa), but it’s a fact that Daniel is 10 years older than Lando. So maybe he really wants to only focus on his job and don’t do such challenges. I really don’t know if it had really happened like that, but maybe – who knows..

But yeah, Lando has really used his chance to show the team and everyone else what he is able to do, when he feels comfortable in the team and car and I’m really happy to see him succeed like that. He really deserves his seat in F1 and the new contract. I’m actually pretty proud of our bub 😊

Just give Daniel some more time to get used to the team and the car, who knows what will happen as soon as he has found his confidence at McLaren?! Even tho I hope at the same time, that Lando keeps that amazing performance, since I’m supporting him.

Oh, and yes of course – some Carlando!

I can so picture Carlos laying his hand in a brotherly way on top of Lando’s shoulder and telling him, on the day he had left the team “You belong to the big boys now, cabrón. You have to watch out for team and show them and everyone else your talent and what they would miss without you in F1. I’m sure you can do this. Take care of them and also of yourself.”

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker Re-Write

(Inspired by the fantastic work of @dalekofchaos) 

“Fix it” fics are a thing, yeah? Well, here’s my shot at writing one for the ninth Star Wars film. Contrary to popular opinions, I’m only going to change one or two things about the two movies beforehand, because I unironically loved both of them. But I can admit that there were mistakes, and TLJ tied up most of the loose ends, leaving it difficult to follow-up with a sequel. So, regarding Episodes eight and nine, here’s what changes. 

I have exactly one change for TFA. That random ass stormtrooper who called out Finn as a traitor and inexplicably had a melee weapon that could fight lightsabers? Yeah, just make that Phasma and have done with it. I don’t understand why it wasn’t her in the first place. Also, Finn being able to wield a lightsaber isn’t “evidence” that he’s force-sensitive if you ask me. The films never confirm that non-force sensitives can’t use them. This will be important later.

Moving on to TLJ...replace that stupid milk scene with the deleted scene of Luke reacting to the news of Han’s death. I mean, come on, that’s a given. Another given, Luke uses his green lightsaber in the illusionary duel against Kylo Ren. That’s just common sense. 

After Kylo Ren asserts himself and force-chokes General Hux, and the two of them depart...the camera pans in on the pieces of Snoke’s corpse, onto his face...and his eyes suddenly open. Yes, this will be important later. Somehow, Snoke survived.

I genuinely liked Vice-Admiral Holdo, but they kind of fumbled her role in the story. She was never given a reason for why she did not share her plans with the rest of the Resistance. The most popular theory being that she assumed a mole was on board, but this was never stated in the movie. In my opinion, Poe had every reason to call for mutiny based on what he knew, so the whole message/character arc of him learning to be a leader rather than a hero didn’t quite stick the landing. So how will I fix it? Simple, replace Holdo with Leia. First things first, we don’t get the superman-flying, which is just an objective improvement. We also are more inclined to trust Leia over Poe, because of the legacy the character has. We’re also going with the plot-threat there is indeed a mole. What’s more, Leia is given the sendoff she deserves with the light-speed kamikaze scene. Sure, she may be force-sensitive, but it’s clear that she chose a different path in her life and I think she should go out as a warrior, not a Jedi, because that’s what she was. General Leia. Plus, you avoid the awkward interactions with CGI Leia from the canon episode 9. 

I think we can all agree that Finn deserved better, and he absolutely deserved to have the scene that was deleted, where he called out Phasma in front of her soldiers, telling them what happened in TFA, when Phasma caved so easily. This is the beginning of the Stormtrooper rebellion, and Finn is responsible for igniting the spark. He can definitely duel with Phasma, but he’s not going to win for one simple reason. The mole suddenly reveals herself and puts a blaster to his head. 

Spoiler alert, the mole is Rose. The reason why could vary - perhaps she blames the resistance for the death of her sister. Perhaps the First Order captured her sister alive and is threatening her. Either way, Rose’s efforts help turn the tide and allow her and Phasma to escape. The code-breaker can still be part of the movie, but he doesn’t really matter. The Canto Bight sequence is unchanged, because I honestly don’t dislike it at all. 

So who saves Finn from his attempt to follow General Leia’s example, and give his life for the cause that he now truly cares about? Poe does. This moment already causes their character arcs to intersect, with Poe being in the position Leia was in at the start of Last Jedi, Finn being in Poe’s position. Poe crashes their ships to save Finn, and because I’m #Stormpilot trash, and we deserved an onscreen LGBT relationship between leads, Poe does indeed kiss Finn. However, don’t worry about Rose. I have plans for her. 

That’s about all that changes. But in the grand scene of things, most of these aren’t really issues with the film itself. But they’re necessary to set up for my idea for a Rise of Skywalker re-write. Speaking of...

The Rise of Skywalker - let’s begin with the name. 

I hate this name and everything it represents. I’ve heard rumors of an alternate script where Ben Solo is not redeemed, called “Duel of Fates.” I’m not a fan of Ben not being redeemed, but I like the concept of that film name. So I’m thinking this movie will be called something like “One Last Bout” or “One Last Stand.” Something simple but effective, with the air of finality. I truly doubt Episode 9 is the end of Star Wars forever, but if we think of it as a conclusion to the first two trilogies, this can work. 

The film opens with the funeral of General Leia. With Rey, Finn, and Poe (who are holding hands for sure) all standing together with Chewie, who is in shambles as we can expect. Lando is also present and he gets re-introduced. Luke’s force spirit appears and looks on, but does not reveal himself to everyone else. Likewise, pan the camera over, and we see Kylo Ren observing the service as well, out of sight. Luke makes telepathic contact with Rey, to warn her of danger, at which point both Rey and Ben double over in pain, the sound design giving us an uncomfortable high pitched screech, or something similar. There’s a disturbance in the Force. Something is returning. Something terrible. Ben is spotted, and the main trio open fire with blasters, but Ben escapes. Lando stops Rey from pursuing him, suggesting that it would dishonor Leia’s memory to do it right then and there. 

Ben, on his ship, struggles with horrible pain, a serious headache. Until at last, he is telepathically contacted by a voice we do not hear. But it terrifies him, and he takes off in his ship in pursuit of it. 

A scene similar to the one where the Resistance analyzes Palpatine’s message, but there is no message and there is empathically no Palpatine in this movie, though I won’t get into why that was a horrible idea right now. Never mind, Rey is simply recounting to Finn, Poe, Chewie, and Lando that there’s a disturbance in the Force. Luke’s spirit appears and warns them that a great evil that long predates their time, is returning. He disappears, explaining that he needs to await Leia as she “crosses over” and becomes one with The Force. This is the last we see of Luke in the film, because his story is over. The torch has been passed.

Ben/Kylo Ren arrives at what we saw as Exegol. I don’t mind this planet being Exegol, it was about the only new location I actually remembered from the canon film. He confronts the voice in his head, proclaiming that he will kill any threat to The First Order and it’s Supreme Leader. A familiar voice in the dark chuckles. “You have yet to finish off your predecessor. By what right do you claim his job?” Snoke leans forward, and reveals himself. A similar scene to TROS plays out but with no mention of Rey. Despite Ben’s shock, Snoke is amused. “You are not the first apprentice to try and take my life. You probably won’t be the last. I have fashioned many into tools for the Dark Side, even the Emperor himself learned at my feet. Did you think you were special? So, yes. Snoke is the final Big Bad like he should have been (Andy Serkis was robbed) and he really is Darth Plagueis because he was totally supposed to be. By means of mental torture, Snoke reassumes control of Ben and tells him to gather the Knights of Ren “Wherever you’ve hidden them” and prepare to crush the rebellion once and for all. 

Instead of visiting a random planet for a lead, Lando and Chewie lead the gang back to Endor. Or it could also be Kashyyyk, I suppose. Like before, Lando and Luke were there. They spent years documenting the history of the Jedi and the Sith. This could be contained in “Holocrons” I realize they have meaning behind them in the lore, but I don’t know much, so just consider the “Holocron” to be a storage unit for information. Arriving there, we still have the scene of a local asking for Rey’s family name, but this time she’s going to stay no one like she should have. While researching, Finn expresses the theory, or more like the hope, that he might be Force-Sensitive. Rey tells him that everyone is, to an extent, but Finn clarifies that he means it the same way that Rey is. “Y’know, the way you can push stuff around and sense people’s feelings. Make stuff float.” An echo back to Rey’s line from TLJ. What I’m going for here is that Finn is not force-sensitive in the traditional way. His arc in this movie is going to be about accepting that, and realizing that he doesn’t need that to be a “hero.” He already is one, with everything he’s done. But as of right now, his insistence that he could be leads to bickering between him and Rey.

Things only get worse as Rey uncovers more about the Jedi. Sees some of the ways in which they were not the white knights that history remembers them as. Luke was right, they played no small part in creating Darth Vader. What’s more, she discovers the “Rule of Two” which has been hinted in the films but never discussed outright. The idea that there are only ever two people wielding the Dark Side, a master and an apprentice. And that the apprentice invariably kills the master to succeed them. A tradition dating back for millennia. The Sith, the practitioners of the Dark Side, always betray each other. She’s disheartened, thinking of Ben killing Snoke and how he offered her his hand. What it all would have led to in the end. 

They finally discover what could be the answer - the “great evil” that is returning. A Sith lord called Darth Plaguis, who, when they bring up the hologram of him, strongly resembles Snoke. They put two and two together, reading more about Plagueis’ file. How he vanished without a trace. How he was said to have performed an unspeakable ritual in the Dark Side to allow him to control life and death itself. He could revive those he loved from death, and could not truly he killed, having become an anomaly in the Force. Only another anomaly of equal power would be able to stop him. 

An ambush occurs, with assassins in masks attacking the heroes. They wield melee weapons that are not lightsabers, and they force the group to split up due to simply being outnumbered. The gang realizes that, apart from being here to kill them, they probably want that Holocron, but the Resistance must be the ones to get it. We get a similar scene to the canon film, with Chewie heading to the Millennium Falcon with the Holocron and trying to take off, to blast the assassins from the sky...but then the assassins reveal their ace card. They have force power. And they start to pull the Falcon back down. Rey struggles against them, but she’s outnumbered, still upset from everything that she’s learned, and easily angered when Finn rushes in to try and help, despite not being able to. Rey succumbs to her anger and unleashes Dark-Side lightning. Just like in the canon film. The differences? Number one, this doesn’t foreshadow any lineage for her...but importantly Chewie is actually dead, not just a fake-out. He’s dead, and the Falcon and Holocron are destroyed with him. Seriously, the emotional weight of that scene is completely drained by not having Chewie actually die there. The potential is lost, and I’m going to prove it. 

Rey is appropriately mortified, shocked, and despondent.  The assassins are too - they can’t believe their enemy killed one of their own just to win. Everyone is shocked, but Poe is the quickest to regain his head, dashing in and blasting at the assassins to help cover the heroes while they escape, Finn half-dragging a stunned Rey. So, everyone feels awkward about what just happened and though they believe Rey that it was an accident, it still happened and both Finn and Poe feel distant from her. Lando, understandably, is a lot less patient than them. He knew Chewie for years. His old feelings about losing Han might resurface, and he could say something about how Rey is no better than Kylo Ren, before catching himself and apologizing. At this point, Lando also departs. He needs to get back to the Resistance, because he has been named the Acting General, since Leia’s death. 

Meanwhile, Poe deduces that the assassins were the mythical “Knights of Ren” rumored to be the Supreme Leader’s private army. Rey is shaken from her stupor at this news - it doesn’t make sense, it completely violates the “Rule of Two.” Could Ben still be saved? Or is it too late for him? Is it too late for her, Rey, even? Cue Ben Solo/Kylo Ren opening up the force-bond once again. A similar conversation about how they’re both uncertain of their place in the galaxy, and a confirmation that Snoke is back, and is really Plagueis. Ben reveals that he’s been ordered to kill Rey, and he apologies - he truly doesn’t want to do this, but Snoke once again has control of him, and has proven that killing him won’t matter. Rey senses terrible pain, and gets a taste of what Ben has been put through - think, like, the Cruciatus Curse. Whatever “pain” move Kylo Ren used on Poe in TFA. He learned it from Snoke, of course. Ben closes the force-bond, telling Rey to run. Run as far and as fast as she can, because he’s no longer able to take it easy on her.

Finn and Poe overhear the conversation, or at least Rey’s side of it. They hear enough to deduce who she’s talking to, and this further plants the seeds of doubt in their heads. As we see in Last Jedi, Rey doesn’t really tell people about the force-bond, so we can assume she never told her friends. The family is fracturing more and more. Rey is slipping closer and closer to the Dark Side. And all without needing to give her a bloodline. See? I told you Chewbacca’s death had potential. 

They make a pit stop on Coruscant, because there’s no reason it couldn’t have been Coruscant, hiding from First Order ships. Here is where the character of Zorii originally showed up. As compelling as the performance was, she’s not going to show up here. Let’s be honest, she was only there to no-homo Finn and Poe, as well as give Poe a backstory that is apparently racist? (I’m not knowledgeable enough about this topic to comment, so let’s just throw out the whole idea.) Instead, the team is confronted by none other than Rose, the mole from TLJ. She reveals that more and more stormtroopers have been rebelling since Finn gave his speech. There’s only one faction that she is confident will never turn on the First Order - the Knights of Ren, who “seem to worship the Supreme Leader like a damn god...though, I guess he isn’t the Supreme Leader anymore, is he?” News is spreading of Snoke’s return, and Rose has the heroes cornered with a band of loyalist stormtroopers. 

Finn pleads with Rose, and the other Stormtroopers, to reconsider. Here is where we outline Rose’s character. She despises everything about war. She’s intentionally attacking both sides, seeking to see both the Resistance and The First Order collapse. She has a personal vendetta against Poe and actively tries to kill him, for his role in the battle that killed her sister. Poe likewise despises Rose for having betrayed Finn. Whether Rose’s actions are tactical doesn’t really matter - she’s responding from a place of emotion, not logic. Poe, showing his growth, apologies to Rose and talks her down. Explains the situation, how dire the circumstances are. Rey chimes in and identifies with Rose, having made plenty of mistakes of her own. There’s a moment of solidarity between the team once again. A moment, anyway. Poe makes peace with Rose, and she lets the heroes go. However, her stormtroopers turn on her, and attack everyone. The gang helps Rose escape with them, and after the escape, they realize that those stormtroopers were in fact the Knights of Ren, spying for Kylo Ren, which means Snoke as well. 

Rey, tortured by nightmares about Snoke, leaves in the middle of the night. Finn is awake, and tries to stop her, which leads to a major fight. Finn is having trouble trusting Rey, and it shows. Rey is likewise fed up with Finn trying to insert himself into the story, as it were. However, having been told by Rose the impact that he had on the galaxy, Finn no longer wishes to be a Jedi. He then redirects the question to Rey - does she want to be a Jedi? Like Luke? Honest answer - she doesn’t know. The Jedi of old would never have accepted her. She’d have been expelled and become another Darth Vader. Rey is impulsive, confrontational, she has a short temper. She gives in to the Dark Side too easily, and now it’s gotten someone killed. She feels diseased. Though Finn tries to dissuade such talk, it comes out that he and Poe overheard her conversation with Kylo Ren. Both sides are angry here, because Rey kept this secret, and because her friends spied on her. She cries out in anger, causing several nearby lights to blow out. Rey storms away, seeking to be alone.

This fight scene takes the place of the ESB rip-off with an evil Rey. That just wasn’t necessary. Instead, Rey leaves to confront Snoke, kill him once and for all, and rescue Ben if she can. After that, she isn’t sure what she’ll do. It is at this point that she is captured by the Knights of Ren. However, they don’t kill her, as instructed. They remove their masks - humanizing them as just being people. They reveal that they were the Jedi who followed Ben after he left Luke. When Starkiller Base was finished, Ben told them to go and evacuate their families from their home planets, just in case. The Knights stayed away for a long time, per Ben’s orders, but returned when he bid them too. They love him, seem to look up to him, and they can tell that he loves Rey. That he’s not his own man anymore. And that his best interests don’t align with Snoke’s. They know Snoke has to die, but also realize they aren’t powerful enough to stop him. The only one they can think of who might be - is Rey. They beg for her help, and she agrees.

The movie now offers a montage of Stormtroopers abandoning Phasma and Hux, and turning themselves in to the Resistance, explaining that they want to fight for the light. Meanwhile, Finn talks to Rose and Poe, and they all agree that they can’t just leave Rey, they have to go after her. They regret not trusting her, and conclude that even if she is tempted by the Dark Side, even if she falls...she’s still their friend. They don’t believe that she’s a spy - Rose offers useful tip in this sense. Observing that Rey offers none of the “tells.” Finally, we come to Rey training with the Knights of Ren. The transformation of her staff into a lightsaber pike. And it’s gold, baby. It’s gold. (Oh, since I forgot to mention this, Anakin’s lightsaber never gets repaired. Rey has been using a blaster up to this point.)

Bring us back to Snoke, torturing Ben once again as he can sense the betrayal of the Knights. Ben doesn’t realize that they’re still loyal to him, he thinks they just abandoned him, and his spirit is broken even further. Snoke talks more about his past, and here we can get a philosophical discussion. Perhaps Snoke discovered the midichlorians during his research, and exploited them for more power. He could analyze the Force as being, not a difference between light and darkness, but a shallow body of water that only gets deeper the further you venture. Snoke boasts that he was the first to risk “drowning” himself in it’s depths. Meanwhile, Ben hallucinates seeing Han, encouraging him to get up and fight back. We can also have Leia’s voice here, if we want. Ben fights back in a scene that echoes TFA, the way Rey resisted his own control. “You are no Master, Plagueis. Not of anyone or anything. You act so powerful, but your thoughts betray you. You’re afraid you will never get it right. Your desperation grows with every failure. But Today is not the day you finally succeed.”  snaps free of Snoke’s control and when Snoke attempts to dominate him with Force Lightning, Ben goes full Prince Zuko and redirects it, Yoda style. With that, he escapes, now on his own. 

Finn, Poe, and Rose show up to fight the Knights of Ren. Assuming Rey to be their prisoner. Rey, faced with her ultimate conflict, the symbol of her uncertainty, a literal metaphor between the two sides of her being at war...her loyalty to Ben, and her loyalty to her friends...her desire to be good, but her tendency toward darkness...finally completes her character arc and solves her identity issues. She creates a barrier between both sides, knocking them all down. She explains herself, telling her friends that the Knights want to stop Snoke. That she has joined them freely, for this reason. She apologizes for how distant she’s been. Admits that while she would never support the First Order, she does care for Ben Solo, despite all he’s done. This leads to Rey making up with her friends, and making peace with the Knights, who were already kind-of friends with Rose, once upon a time. This can lead into a bigger discussion about The Force, the concepts of good and evil as a whole. While Finn and Poe contact Lando, to tell him where Snoke is hiding, Rey reaches out to Ben through the force-bond. 

Meanwhile, Ben has returned to the planet where Luke’s old school of Jedi was. He visits the smoldering remains, and unearths Luke’s green lightsaber. He struggles, still feeling that call to the light, and now that he’s alone and able to meditate, he attempts to do what Snoke did, and “drown” himself in the Force, in the hope of stopping him. He doesn’t drown. Instead, he meets a spirit who he had unconsciously blocked out a long time ago. Anakin Skywalker, portrayed by Hayden “The lines were terrible but his acting was actually pretty good” Christensen.  The call to the light that Ben had always resisted had come from Anakin. These two finally talk, and Anakin urges Ben to choose the right side. They find solidarity in understanding that they were both drawn to the Dark Side, and both felt that this meant they “had” to be evil. Anakin doesn’t dissuade Ben from the Dark Side, but advises him to do what is right for the galaxy, defeating Snoke. Ben is helpless, he doesn’t know how. But Anakin tells him that an anomaly of equal power to Snoke could be enough to kill him forever. It’s definitely worth a try. Anakin fades, promising Ben that the answer is closer than he thinks. He can sense it right now...

After Anakin fades, Rey appears. She has succeeded in contacting Ben, and they catch up. Ben learning that The Knights still care about him, and that Rey has joined them. Rey expresses that Ben was right - it’s time to leave the Jedi and the Sith behind. To start something new. They can discuss the Force in greater detail, how being Dark doesn’t always mean one is evil, but the teachings of the Jedi suggest that it is a binary system. They express affection for each other. With everyone around Rey seeing her talk to someone invisible, Rey reaches out her hand...and Ben takes it. Suddenly appearing in the ship with everyone else. 

Rey and The Knights take turns embracing him, and he exchanges awkward nods with the others. With the help of the Knights, the group comes to the conclusion that Rey and Ben are some kind of Dyad in the Force, irrevocably connected. The two that are one. Such a thing has not been seen in millennia. It’s almost like a glitch in the universe. But this anomaly could be what it takes to stop Snoke for good. 

The main team makes their way back to Exegol as we see Lando giving a speech to the Resistance, now much stronger with the added former-Stormtroopers. As much as I love Jannah, she’s just as unnecessary as Zorii. That screen time could have and should have gone to Rose as she re-establishes herself back into the squad, same as Ben. Everyone arrives at Exegol at the same time, and Resistance soldiers move to open fire on Rose and Ben, understandably so, but here come Poe and Finn to talk them down and explain the situation. No one is happy about it, particularly having Ben Solo around, but Lando, with much consternation, accepts the situation and tells the Resistance not to fire on their new allies. However, he also instructs Finn to kill Ben if he steps out of line. We can get a callback when Finn gives the “I’m watching you” look to Ben, and have a line like “Don’t be a traitor.” Or something. 

Final battle time. Another montage. Finn leading the former storm-troopers in the battle against the last of Snoke’s loyalists, led by Phasma. Together with Rose, Finn defeats them and Phasma is left on her knees. She pleads for mercy, and Rose is prepared to kill her, but Finn intervenes. They take her prisoner instead, because killing people who are already defeated and defenseless is the “Stormtrooper” way. 

Rey, Ben, and the Knights are helping out with their Melee weapons. The Knights are also using the Force, because not using it offensively was a Jedi message, and they didn’t always follow it anyway. Though he’s definitively good now, Ben is still wearing his Kylo Ren armor, and wielding the cross-guard saber. I mean, imagine if he showed up to a warzone in day clothes with a blaster, just because his previous weapons were “evil?” How stupid would that be, right? However, at one point the cross-guard saber is destroyed in the right, and left empty-handed, Ben pulls out Luke’s lightsaber, stares at it...and then ignites it to rejoin the fray.

 We likewise get a battle of wits and strategy between Poe and Hux, as Poe commands a legion to take out the forces guarding Snoke’s throne room. In the end, Poe’s armada is saved by another that Lando commands. Hux manages to fatally shoot Lando, but Poe quickly repays him in kind. While everyone crowds around Lando, Hux dies alone, symbolizing the difference between the two causes. Lando expresses pride in how far Poe has come, tells him that Leia would be proud too, and with his dying words, he addresses Poe as “General Dameron.” It’s a truly emotional moment and afterward, Poe simply turns to the loyalist stormtroopers, carrying the poise and energy of a powerful leader. He tells them to drop their weapons. To surrender now, and they won’t be harmed. It’s badass. And the loyalists do as instructed. 

The path is clear for Rey and Ben to rush in to the Throne Room and kill Snoke, with the Resistance following them as backup. Only Snoke is nowhere to be seen. All of a sudden, we hear that high-pitched screech again. Rey and Ben collapse in terrible pain, hearing Snoke’s voice. His physical body no longer matters or plays by the same rules. He has essentially taken the practice of returning as a force-spirit and perverted it to become Dark. We now get Snoke’s final backstory, and the answer to why he’s able to do this. Snoke himself was part of a Dyad, centuries ago. Though exceptionally rare, Rey and Ben’s bond is not unique. However, Snoke murdered his counterpart for his own selfish reasons. A total violation of nature. This is what splintered him and turned him into the unnatural being that he is now. Rey and Ben vanish, to the alarm of Finn and Poe, as they disappear into the Force. 

The three of them - Rey, Ben, and Snoke, all appear to be in some kind of void. Snoke recounts having sensed the awakening of another Dyad (”The Force Awakens”) and that this is what prompted him to return to physical form in the first place. He reveals his final plan. Rey and Ben must now fight to the death - the winner becoming as powerful Snoke himself. He promises that the winner can rule beside him. This is probably a lie, and both of his opponents refuse. But Snoke also warns that without achieving that kind of power, they’ll be hopeless to stop him. He dual wields red lightsabers in the subsequent duel. Notice how Rey and Ben are using sabers of gold and green - the opposite of red and blue, which  have traditionally symbolized the Jedi and the Sith conflict. Snoke tells them that they have no future. They cannot become Jedi, not with the crimes they’ve committed. If they become Sith, well...he cites the “Rule of Two” insisting that Rey and Ben cannot coexist because one will inevitably slay the other. Rey and Ben respond that they are neither, that they simply fight for what they believe in. That they are...knights of Ren. 

Together, they strike back, plunging their sabers through Snoke’s chest. He vanishes, and the void world vanishes. Rey and Ben reappear in the throne room, and Snoke is there too, staggering to his feet. The Resistance takes aim at him, but he pays them no mind. He warns the two heroes that there is no telling what will happen if they choose this path, that the Galaxy needs structure when dealing with an entity as vague and infinite as The Force. Rey responds simply that “The Force is not some stranger or threat. It is not a vice for power. The Force...is us. All of us. The good and the bad, the light and the dark. So long as we stand together, you will never influence The Force again. You will never control us. You will never return again.” With a roar of defeat, Snoke’s body turns to dust, and a shadowy mass is left in it’s place. Finn and Poe fire at at it, to no avail, but Rey and Ben join hands, and as the shadowy mass surges toward them, The Dyad employs it’s full potential, causing Snoke’s bastardized force-spirit to vanish. Not sure how this would be filmed without looking silly, but I swear, it’s compelling. 

The battle is over. Everyone celebrates. When Finn and Poe kiss, it’s earned, not some nameless background characters. The team returns to the Resistance base. Poe has been unanimously voted to be the new General, which is the closest thing they have to an elected leader right now, so he is in charge of the trials for the loyalists, and the Knights of Ren. The people who committed treason or other crimes. But we only see three of these trials. Ben Solo, Rose Tico...and Rey. After all, she did kill Chewie, right? She conspired with the Knights, too. Rey is pardoned almost immediately, Rose not long after, but Ben Solo...after much consideration, Poe charges the Knights of Ren to a path of atonement. To go around, helping fix the Galaxy. Community service. 

Ben and the Knights prepare to leave on their trip, and Rey and Ben say goodbye. How ship-teasy this is, if there’s a final kiss...eh, interpret how you like. I’m a Reylo fan personally, but I know a lot of people aren’t. Ben promises to see Rey again, and they both acknowledge that thanks to the Dyad, they won’t have to go without seeing each other, not really. Likewise, Rey and Finn and Poe and Rose will be helping to fix up the galaxy, so it’s certainly not goodbye. 

I lied, Luke’s force-spirit appears one more time, this time with Leia, though she doesn’t speak much for obvious reasons. Luke is proud of her, and says something to the effect of “Not bad for a scavenger girl with no family from Jakku of all places. Well done, Rey from nowhere.” Rey looks around at everyone - at Finn, Poe, Rose. At Ben and the Knights. At C3PO, R2D2 and BB8 (Who were definitely involved the whole time I just didn’t have much to say about them) she looks back at Luke and replies that she does have a family. She and her friends go to wave goodbye as Ben’s ship takes off, flying into the sunset, and....ENDING CREDITS!

Let me know what y’all think! Hopefully this doesn’t throw out quite as much from Last Jedi, and does the characters justice!