#it is very tiring to have everything ready for class 🫠

[artimul]

one of my goals before my community service ends is i need to tell these children to Not read the song of achilles

[fangirlfrom-hell]

The Fragile Bonds Part 2 || Jay and Will Halstead x Halstead Sister

*re-posting this because I'm stupid and accidentaly erased my blog 🫠

Summary: After their father's death, Becca moved in with Jay. This is the first time the detective brother has to go undercover since his sister has been under his full care, creating a challenging situation for both. Reluctantly, Becca will have to live with Will and his family during those days, even though she doesn't feel very welcome in that household.

Tuesday morning passed by slowly, but Becca preferred it that way. Despite all the things going around her, she was able to concentrate in her classes. Anyway, as the time for school to end approached, a knot was forming in her stomach. She didn’t want to go back to Will’s house, it made her anxious. The exit bell rang and she sat on the entrance stairs until she was left alone.

“I call your brother, but he’s not answering”, one of her teachers said as he invited her to pass to the office.

“I can walk myself”, Becca argued, but Jay had given specific orders on not letting her go alone. If he couldn’t pick her up, the other ones on the list were Will, Hailey and also Sgt. Platt, but she wished they wouldn’t bother anybody from the district.

“I’m so, so sorry!” Will came running into the building, “I totally forgot, I got no excuse”. The principal’s gaze was all over the Halstead brother, observing him with a not so friendly look. “I had to pick Owen from daycare, and this is out of my routine, sorry”, he kept apologizing, which for the girl made it even worse.

“It’s alright, Will. Just let’s get out of here, please”.

Even when she couldn’t admit it, Becca was affected by what had happened earlier. So, as soon as they arrived home, she took a cellphone out of the nightstand. Jay didn’t allow his sister to own a phone, but he had lent her one just as a way of precaution, it had his number saved, but also Hailey’s, Trudy and even Voight, just in case of an emergency. After all, he was an overprotective and paranoic brother. He said he would communicate with her through it, whenever he had time to do so.

But there were no traces of Jay. The girl opened his contact and decided to write a text,

I hope you’re doing well, I miss u

She hesitated to press the send button, but as soon as she did, a message appeared on the screen: not delivered. Becca sighed and threw the phone on the bed. 

She started to feel hopeless, as if she didn't belong anywhere. She held Mr. Snuggles while thinking about her detective brother, she wondered where he was and what he was doing at the moment, if he was alright or if he was hurt. Then, she imagined herself at the bullpen, waiting for him to finish his paperwork, as it had happened a few times; it was a warm feeling to be surrounded by Jay’s friends even when it was only in her mind. She continued figuring a normal day in her life, her brother by her side, going home, sleeping in her own bed, and just like that she fell deep asleep.

“Hey! Hey, kiddo!” A voice was heard in the distance, some babbling accompanied it. “Becc, wake up” a touch on her shoulder made her slowly open her eyes. "I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you", Will was bending right next to the bed carrying Owen in his arms. 

She took a quick look around, it was already dark and a chill ran through her body, it was also getting cold. For a few seconds, she felt very confused for not waking up in her room, then she suddenly remembered everything and reality weighed on her chest, she felt like crying, but was able to hold her tears. 

"Dinner is ready, come on. I just realized you didn't eat anything when we arrived home", he invited. 

"I'm not really hungry, but I'm so tired, I'd rather sleep", the girl went back to the same position. 

"Becc", her brother scoffed. 

“Ok, I’ll try.”

The table was already set when Becca came into the kitchen, but there were only three plates on it. Will had his back turned to her, working on the stove.

"Where's Natalie?"

"At The Med," Will answered simply, without even looking at her. "She'll be back soon."

"How is it that you're not at the hospital? Actually, how is it that you haven't been at the hospital these days?"

"Well, when Jay told me he was going undercover..." He turned to the table, carrying a pan to serve the food on Becca's plate. "...I asked to change my schedule with some of my partners so I could stay here with you."

"Oh."

"Yeah, we talked about it, and we didn't— I didn't want you to be here all by yourself. I know we are not as close as you and Jay are, but... I'm still your big brother, and you're still my little sister, so I also thought it could be a great opportunity for the two of us to spend some time together, but it seems that I have screwed it all up."

"No—" Becca couldn't find any argument against what he had said.

"It's fine. I know these two days haven't been precisely comfortable for you, and I'm sorry for that." Will sat right in front of his sister, Owen on his side, so he could help him eat.

Becca was pensive, moving her food around with the fork. "I'm sorry if this caused you any problems." She didn't mean at work, but at home, and Will knew it.

"No... not at all." He sighed. "Now, let's eat before this gets cold," he said hurriedly, not wanting to get into the matter.

"I-I don't want to be rude, but I can't eat this, Will."

"Why?" He asked, surprised.

"My throat would close if I did... I'm allergic to fish?"

"Oh, fuu–, I totally forgot!" The red-haired man took his hands to his face. "I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry! I'll prepare something else for you!" He said while standing up.

At the same time, the front door opened, and a voice calling out was heard, "I'm home!"

Becca's heart began to race, a surge of anxiety washing over her when she heard Natalie's voice at the door, "No, it's okay, Will. Really, I'm not hungry."

"Don't be silly, sit down!"

"What's going on?" Natalie came into the scene.

"Nothing," the girl interrupted before her brother could talk. "I was about to go to bed. Good night."

With an empty and growling stomach, she prepared herself for bed. Before attempting to sleep, she picked up her phone, only to discover 8 missed calls from Detective Upton. 'Shit,' she muttered. She immediately called her back. When he answered, a cacophony of background noises filled the line.

“Hey, Beccs” She was close enough to the girl to call her by nicknames, “I called you earlier, but you didn’t answer”.

“Yeah, I didn’t have the phone close to me, sorry”.

“It’s ok. I was with your brother earlier. I met him at a secret spot, and he wanted to talk to you and check how you're doing..."

Becca's heart sank, a wave of regret and sadness washing over her. The urge to cry reappeared, her voice quivering as she replied, "Oh, crap, and I wasn't here..."

“Don’t worry, hunny, there wasn’t enough time, anyway. He ask me to tell you he’s doing fine, and algo wanted me to make sure how you’re doing at Will’s”.

The uncomfortable silence worried Hailey, “Becca?”

“Honestly, I feel like an intruder,” she regretted her words as soon as they came out of her mind, “Oh, but don’t tell that to Jay. I don’t know, I’m fine, I’ll just be better when I go back home”:

“This might end sooner than we thought”. A raspy voice was heard in the background before Hailey had to say goodbye, “Gotta go, girl, but hey, call me whenever you need it, even if it’s just to talk. Anything”.

“Thanks, Hails.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too”. Becca stared at the ceiling.

So many changes were swirling through her life in such a brief span of time. The absence of Jay, the first time they had been apart since it had been just the two of them, was tearing at her heart far more intensely than she had ever anticipated. She had barely begun to acclimate to her new routine, her altered existence, when the clandestine situation had thrust itself upon her.

The weight of missing the chance to talk to Jay pressed heavily on her heart, and it felt like a crushing burden. It made her feel incredibly sensitive, and this time, the tears flowed freely, unable to be contained. She clutched Mr. Snuggles tightly, seeking solace in the familiar stuffed bear's embrace, her stomach rumbling audibly from the gnawing hunger that consumed her.

In this moment of vulnerability, she longed for the comforting embrace of home, a warmth that she found sorely absent here. Hearing Hailey's voice had momentarily rekindled that sense of homecoming. With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes tightly, yearning not to be in her current circumstances, wishing fervently for a return to the normality of the past.

Her mind drifted back in time, to the familiarity of their old house, the echoes of childhood laughter, and even the presence of her once-gruff father, who had passed away just a few months ago. The wave of nostalgia mingled with the ache of longing, and tears welled up in her eyes, as the weight of change and the pangs of homesickness bore down upon her.

The harmful impulses she had experienced in the past surged through her body like a relentless wave. But she wasn't going to succumb, she thought of Jay and Hailey to find strength within herself.

Tomorrow, she would have her dance class, and that would help her forget everything. Besides, it meant spending less time in that house.

The morning flew by quickly, leaving Becca feeling both desperate and excited for her dance lessons. She was practicing extra hours after class with her teacher, who had recognized her potential. Dancing was her sanctuary, the place where she could unshackle the stress that had been building, release the pent-up tension, and untangle the knots in her mind. It was where she felt truly free, blissfully happy, and capable of doing something right. That's why Jay had always made it a point to ensure she never missed a lesson, and he had also made sure to discuss it with Will before leaving his sister under his care.

Things took a slight detour when, at the end of the school day, Becca noticed Natalie's car outside the building. "Where's Will?" she asked after greeting, still standing outside the car.

"He couldn't change his shift today, sorry. I'm taking you home. Come on," Natalie replied with a tender smile. Even though the atmosphere was calm, Owen's babbling was the only thing preventing total silence.

"I have my dance class today," Becca mentioned as they hit the road.

"I know, Will told me. I'm taking you, don't worry." Natalie assured her.

Becca got ready an hour ahead of their scheduled departure time. She dressed in her black leotard, pink tights, and black leggings layered on top. Her ballet slippers and jazz shoes were neatly packed inside her bag. After preparing, she stepped out of her room and waited in the living room.

Natalie noticed her early readiness and asked in a motherly tone that Becca didn't particularly like, "Did you finish your homework?"

"Uh, yes," Becca replied with a small white lie.

Natalie glanced at the clock and said, "It's still early; we can leave in half an hour, and you'll make it in time."

"Yeah, I know. I was just getting everything ready," Becca replied, pretending to check her bag. She then paused and looked at Natalie sincerely. "Thank you, Nat. For letting me stay and driving me today. I'm not your responsibility..."

Natalie shook her head gently and said, "Nonsense. Don't worry about any of that. Oh, by the way, at what time do I pick you up? Will didn't say."

"I have to stay after class; I finish at 9, but usually, I'm free a bit later," Becca explained.

"Uh, Becca, that's too late, I—"

"No, no, no," Becca rushed to respond. "I can talk to my teacher. I'll tell her that I can't stay beyond 9, and she'll be understanding about it."

Natalie's expression revealed pity as she said, "I can't pick you up that late,  it's past Owen's bedtime."

"But I can't miss this! Jay told Will how important it is!" Becca's voice quivered with desperation, her eyes welling up with tears as she tried to plead her case.

The girl couldn't find any comfort, as Natalie's tone grew increasingly stern. "I'm sorry, Becca. It's too late, I wouldn't have agreed to this if Will had told me all the information."

Becca's desperation deepened, a sinking feeling in her chest erasing any sense of well-being. She felt trapped, as if her dreams were slipping through her fingers.

"I can take an Uber back home," Becca suggested, her voice trembling with the fear of Jay's reaction.

"Jay would kill me," Natalie scoffed.

"I won't tell Will or Jay; I'll say you drove me back!" Becca's words came out rushed, almost pleading.

"Nothing bad will happen if you miss one of your lessons," Natalie responded, her tone firm.

"I never miss my lessons," Becca protested, tears now freely streaming down her cheeks as she fought to hold back her emotions.

"You see? One time won't hurt anybody. Stop with your tantrums, you are old enough for this." Natalie's words felt like accusations, making Becca feel even worse. She wasn't throwing a tantrum, she was trying desperately to hold on to something that meant everything to her.

"You don't understand. You're minimizing the facts! I need to go! I'm rehearsing a solo, and if I miss a rehearsal..." Becca's voice cracked as she tried to explain the gravity of the situation.

"Becca, please stop yelling!" Natalie's voice grew firmer, and the girl could sense the frustration building in her.

By this point, Becca couldn't avoid showing her anger. "I'm not yelling!"

"You are raising your voice, and you're scaring Owen! I'm sorry. I just can't pick you up."

"But—"

"I said 'no,' Becca. End of discussion!" Natalie's final words cut through the air, leaving Becca feeling defeated and alone. 

The feeling of not belonging weighed on her like an unbearable burden, intensifying her sense of hopelessness to the point where it felt suffocating. The unsettling urges clawed at her emotions, making her feel even more isolated and desperate. 

With a frustrated groan, she dashed to her room, overwhelmed by the urge to slam the door, but there was no lock on the room she was stayinging. She grabbed her phone and started searching for Hailey's contact, but was this really an emergency? Hailey had offered to be there whenever she needed to talk, but wasn't this too much to burden her with?

Her heart raced, and each breath felt labored. As panic took hold, she heard Natalie's footsteps getting closer, the sound of her voice on the phone speaking to Will adding to her anxiety. Becca sprinted to the bathroom in the hallway, desperation pushing her to lock herself inside. Natalie made a futile attempt to stop her, but she couldn't reach Becca in time, leaving her alone in the confined space with her tumultuous emotions.

She could hear the conversation happening in the hallway outside, “She just locked herself in the bathroom…I couldn’t stop her, what do you want me to do?”

Becca sat on the bathroom floor, her eyes scanning the objects around her, whispering to herself, "...there's a white sink, a small soap..." as she diligently practiced the calming techniques that Jay had taught her to combat the encroaching anxiety. Each item she named grounded her in the present, helping her regain control over her racing thoughts and emotions.

Some knocks on the door were distracting her, “Becca, hunny, please open up. What are you doing there?”

"...there's a green plant in a brown pot, and blue tiles: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5..." Becca continued, meticulously focusing on each detail around her. As she managed to block out the noise from outside, she picked up her phone with her shaky hands once more and composed a text: "I wish you were here." However, when she pressed the send button, the dreaded 'not delivered' message appeared once more, deepening her sense of isolation and despair.

After a few minutes, Becca's breathing gradually returned to normal, and she stood up, washing her face to clear her mind. She felt utterly drained and just wanted to crawl into bed and sleep until the next day. Yet, fear and shame held her back, a sense of embarrassment over her emotional outburst.

As she hesitated, lost in her conflicted thoughts, a familiar voice broke through the silence. Beyond the bathroom door, she could hear two distinct mutterings, piquing her curiosity and momentarily drawing her attention away from her inner turmoil.

"How long has she been there?"

"About half an hour, maybe?"

"Half an hour?" The new voice sounded furious. "And you just let her be all by herself in there!? Is she responding?"

"We took the dangerous objects out of this bathroom before she arrived. I can hear her moving around."

"Ugh, get off, I'm handling this!" The anger in the voice was palpable, and it seemed like someone was taking charge of the situation.

A soft knock on the door was accompanied by a gentle plea, filled with genuine concern.

"Becca, sweetie, would you please open the door for me?"

[thegirlfromhawkins]

Comfort (Eddie x gn!reader)

a comfort imagine because i always need comfort. please give me feedback and what not my last headcanon didn’t get very much and i don’t know if tumblr is just a bitch or if i suck 🫠

Eddie reminds you just how special you are to him after letting others opinions get to you.

Tired.

That’s what you are. Tired.

Tired of this god-forsaken shitty small town. Tired of being judged because you had your own interests and didn’t fall into social cues.

Of course, some days are better than others and you really didn’t give a shit what other people thought about you. That is until your brain started relaying the shitty things people said to you. It reverberated throughout your head daily and it’s pretty hard to ignore when most of the time you’re on your own.

Eddie, bless his heart, had started to pick up on how your demeanor was changing. He knew that people were bothering you and he stopped them from getting at you whenever he could but he had no idea how much this was affecting you. The tired eyes when you came to school, smoking twice as much as you have, and being late to class were the obvious signs to him. What he didn’t see was the sleepless nights crying and pleading with whatever was out there to give your mind peace.

“Hello sweetheart,” Eddie spoke coming up behind you while you were standing at your locker.

“Hey,” you showed your best small smile you could muster but bloodshot tired eyes don’t help to hide your state.

“Babe, please let me know what’s going on. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll do whatever I can.”

Tears threatened to come out of your eyes as he’s literally begging you to explain everything to him. You can manage being upset by yourself but seeing it affect Eddie just hurts to see even more.

“Eddie, I promise I’m okay,” you said barely above a whisper trying to avoid eye contact with his doe brown eyes. The minute you’d look into them you knew you’d break down so you did your best to rush off to the last class of the day.

You thought you were safe sitting at the furthest desk in the corner reading out of the textbook to fill in your worksheet until the door came open interrupting the silent classroom.

Looking up you saw Eddie walking right up to you laying a notebook on your desk. No words were spoken he just looked you in the eyes and somehow it felt comforting.

“Mr. Munson this is not your classroom.” the teacher spoke in a snappy voice to him. Great more attention drawn to you.

“My apologies, I was just returning the notes I borrowed from Y/N,” he replied before giving you one final look before leaving the classroom.

The notebook he layed in front of you was certainly not yours as it was covered in his doodles and nothing related to school at all. Flipping open the cover and a piece of paper was folded in half waiting to be opened by you.

Now completely forgetting the stupid worksheet you read over what he wrote.

‘Meet me at the picnic table. Love, Eddie’

A smile actually appeared on your face for what felt like forever. For the rest of the period you’re ready to rush out to that picnic table hidden behind trees where you and Eddie always smoked at. You had no idea what he would say or do when you got there but not being alone was the thing that sounded best for you right now.

When the bell finally sounds your off to throw your stuff in your locker and race off to the picnic. People’s glances weren’t even on your radar. All your mind was set on was finding Eddie.

Arriving at the small clearing Eddie is already sitting at the table drumming on the old wood before noticing you.

“Hey-”

He’s completely cut off by your instant hug and you feel him relax into it and wrap his arms around you.

“I miss you.” is all you say before tears start falling down your face.

“I miss you too darling but I’m right here,” Eddie answered continuing to hold you in his arms.

“No, I mean I miss you when I was happy and you were happy with me. I don’t wanna make you sad Eddie.” your words get muffled into his shirt but he understands everything you said.

He pulls back and holds your arms causing you to look up at him in the eyes,” Y/N, you make me feel like the happiest man alive. I don’t know exactly what is going on through your mind right now but you can tell me anything. You know that.”

His eyes are filled with worry and care and that’s when all the flood gated fall down. You let out every detail of the past weeks and the thoughts stuck in your mind. Eddie never interrupts you, he sits there holding your hands while rubbing his thumb over the back of them trying to soothe you. By the time you’ve let it all out Eddie’s cheeks are wet with tears as he still wipes away yours.

It stays quiet for minutes afterward while he holds you tight trying to think of what to say. He has a thousand things he wants to but right now nothing sounds good enough to him.

“The day I first met you when you started freshman year, I could tell there was something special about you. You had this spark that no other person in Hawkins had. It’s like you knew who you were already and no one was going to change that. I know I was a little asshole back then and still am now if I’m being honest but you inspired me.”

“Really?” you looked up at him as he nodded.

“Oh completely. Are you kidding me? Everything you do is amazing to me. Who else is gonna trim my bangs and organize my lunchbox full of drugs?”

You can’t help but laugh at his words and inside you start to feel better. Reflecting back on all those years ago he was right, you were already you. You didn’t try to fit into anything. You were just unapologetically you. That’s one of your favorite things about Eddie too. It drew you two as close as you could get and you can’t imagine a life without him.

“Hey, are you alright?” he asks making you realize you had been lost in thought for longer than you thought.

“Thank you, Eddie,” you responded pulling him into a sweet kiss,” For everything.”