#it is sweet of Till to sing 'till the end' when his earlier motivation was for Ivan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

little-diable · 3 years ago

Text

Bonnie and Clyde 2.0 - Biker! Bucky Barnes (smut)

Witten for @firefly-in-darkness movie challenge (I chose pulp fiction) and my own 9k challenge. @band--psycho created the moodboard. You’ll find some parallels to the movie and a few quotes. Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Two fugitives on the run, two lovers that live out of a suitcase, leaving their hometown behind to strengthen their connection.

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected sex, robbery, guns (nobody gets hurt tho), some good ole’ angst, but a happy end (kind of)

Pairing: Biker!Bucky Barnes x fem!reader (2.4k+)

“Are you ready?” His voice dropped with each syllable that spilled from his chapped lips, metallic arm shining in the bright Los Angeles sunlight. Her pupils slightly got wider behind the dark pair of sunglasses, gaze flickering between her lover and the waitress that tried to calm a pair of unsatisfied customers.

(Y/n) reached for her suitcase with one hand, while the other one tightened its grip on her gun. A slight nod of her head signaled him to rise from his seat, clearing his voice before he raised his own gun, metal just as shiny, just as mysterious as his arm.

“I love you, doll.” Bucky turned towards his girl, smirking as she blew him a kiss.

“I love you too, you crazy motherfucker,” she settled behind him, cocking her gun as Bucky’s voice echoed through the diner, speaking to the confused and scared customers.

“Everybody be cool, this is a robbery.”

The wind was blowing through her hair, arms tightly wrapped around his middle, squeezing him with each turn his machine took. Alpine was roaring through the night, rattling as the moon was standing high, guiding the two through the rough land, protecting them from the darkness that lingered behind thick clouds of rain.

Both trusted the road to take them where they would be safe, hidden from the cops that looked for the two that got called “Bonnie and Clyde 2.0” - a cheap nickname the newspapers came up with. Two fugitives on the run, two lovers that live out of a suitcase, leaving their hometown behind to strengthen their connection.

By now it almost felt too natural, too easy to rob one diner after another. It was always the same routine, he’d tell her how much he loves her before drowning his cup of coffee, rising from his seat with a gun in his hand, not planning to kill anyone but the register full of cash.

Not once would they doubt their motives, two lovers that needed money to survive, to make their way through the land, highs, and lows that kept them on their toes. At the end of the day, they’d just be themselves, a suitcase and a bike that swore to take them wherever they planned on driving to next.

Late at night, as they’d crash in a motel on the side of the road, he’d make love to her in the most intimate way. Caring, soft and sweet, kissing promises into her skin, silently apologising for the unstable and dangerous lifestyle he had pulled her into.

Bucky would fuck her on the bed, against the wall, or in the shower, sometimes - just sometimes - he’d pull Alpine over, would stop the engine to fuck her on his bike in the middle of nowhere. His cock would twitch deep inside of her, holding onto her as the burning heat would engulf them, sweaty bodies would meet, kisses would get pressed against their swollen lips.

He was addicted to her, urged on by the adrenaline that would rush through him while he’d speed through the streets, hiding from the cops that kept on looking for the two. They were careful enough, ready to lay low for days on end, parting ways for a day and a night, just to meet again at the end of the road.

They’d dance to Johnny Cash as the sun was setting, whispering tunes only the dead knew by heart. Where the gun is cocked as the bullet’s cold, where the miles are marked in the blood and gold - they’d always meet up further on up the road.

“I’ll see if they have a phone,” (y/n)’s feet tingled, legs quivering from sitting on Alpine for way too long. His metal hand clamped down on her hand, pulling her against his front, not giving her a chance to leave the dark and dusty hotel room. Bucky’s cold breath met her neck, hairs rising, hyper-alert to her surroundings.

“We talked about this, you can’t.” Her heart ached, desperate to hear her mother’s voice again, to talk about the ones she had left behind, sick and poor, healthy and rich, caring or not about her sudden disappearance. She turned around in his embrace, ran her hand through his hair, scratching his burning scalp.

“I just miss her, you know?” A kiss got shared between the two, lips meeting hers to stop her from talking, not used to seeing her this fragile and confused, with waves of sadness crashing through her system. Impatient hands tugged on the zipper of her leather jacket, watching the heavy piece of fabric tumbling to the floor.

“Maybe we just need to distract you for a while,” Bucky’s rough voice sidetracked her from the loud thoughts that screamed at her to run, to rip herself out of his claws. His metallic fingers danced up and down her throat, softly squeezing the skin, a simple reminder of their arrangement, she was his, till handcuffs would tighten their grip on his wrists, ready to convict him for his wrongdoings.

Swiftly he had her pressed against the wall, forcing his hand into her trousers, rubbing her clit through her panties. She panted his name, (y/n) was fighting a war inside her head, holding onto the last strings of sanity that kept her focused, trying to ignore the silent whispers of the darkness, pulling her further into his trap, chaining her to the criminal.

Heavy breaths spilled from their lips, the temperature kept rising, begging them to finally undress themselves, to give into their cravings. Bucky watched her step out of her trousers, working on the dark belt of his, freeing his hardening cock from the confines of his clothes. He slipped into her before she could say another word, roughly fucking her as the pictures on the wall began to shake, about to crash to the floor.

“You feel this?” His metallic hand disappeared beneath her shirt, pressed against her lower belly, feeling his cock deep inside of her. Bucky fucked her like it was their last night of freedom, facing the cops that were betting on the two lovers, watching them fall apart as the world was closing in on them. “I’ll always be right here with you, we belong together.”

Her teeth nibbled on his lower lip, hands tugging on the hairs at the nape of his neck, keeping him close. Their orgasms were creeping closer, ready to rock through them, to distract them from the life they were living, allowing them to take deep breaths without worrying about curious eyes.

“I love you,” were the last words she spoke before her walls began to clamp down on his cock, squeezing him, begging him to fuck her through her orgasm. Bucky seemed to understand the signals her body was sending out to him, he kept on snapping his hips against hers, cock covered in her arousal, the sweet drops of her release.

The moment his warmth began to spread through her (y/n)’s legs gave out, body tumbling against his, almost knocking him off his own feet.

Late at night when she was asleep he’d lay next to her with a racing heart. Bucky couldn’t help but feel guilty, hating himself for tainting a pure girl like her, she could live a life filled with love and success, no longer having to sleep on dirty mattresses, to eat cheap meals. She could live the life she deserves. A life without a criminal by her side, though with a man that would cherish and love her just like he should.

---

“You never can tell” played from the jukebox. A few people danced through the diner, moving to the song, singing the lyrics. (Y/n) watched them with a tight smile playing on her lips, sipping on the cocktail she had ordered an hour ago. Bucky was absorbed into the newspaper he had stolen from a gas station earlier that day.

(Y/n) studied him, he was biting down on his lip, eyebrows furrowed, trying to figure out if they were in danger if the cops were truly as close to them as the newspapers kept on telling. Words were burning on her tongue, she couldn’t help but feel somewhat disappointed and jealous, of the ones that got twirled around by their lovers.

“Don’t you hate that?” A sigh left her, eyes still focused on Bucky, waiting for him to finally lift his gaze off the white paper.

“What?” Just for a second, he placed the newspaper down, waiting for her to speak, to explain her random choice of words. He couldn’t waste any time, had to figure out if they still had enough time to eat before having to cock their guns.

“Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?”

“I don't know. That's a good question.” Bucky tried to stop his eyes from rolling, slightly shaking his head, averting his gaze once again.

“That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.” Her voice was dripping with sarcasm, (y/n) was spitting each word, placing her glass down, finishing the way too expensive drink.

Her hands tugged on his, pulling him out of their booth, straight towards the dance floor. She felt her gun moving with each step she took, burning into her skin, preparing for their old routine, the one she could talk about as she was barely awake. In this very moment, it was just the two of them, dancing with one another, sharing kisses, not worrying about the road they’d have to take in a few minutes.

“You need to promise me something, doll.” Bucky’s hand found its way to her jaw, holding onto her as she danced to the beat. “Do you see the door back there?” He twirled her into the right direction, eyes focused on the barely alight door, the one where a lazy waitress had scribbled “exit” onto the wood.

She only nodded her head, didn’t reply to his question, wondering where he was going with this.

“The second I tell you to run, you’ll take off through that door, understood?” Her mouth opened and closed, thoughts racing, trying to figure out if he was coming up with a new routine, anything to set the cops onto the wrong track. But the dark eyes of his told a different story, the almost painful expression he wore explained everything she needed to know.

“I won’t leave you.” Tears welled up in her eyes, hands trembling, reaching for the collar of his leather jacket. Her lips found his, he could taste her tears on her skin, the drops that were as salty as the ocean, rocking his boat back and forth as the sun was setting, painting the dark water in a red shade.

His heart burned, trying to understand that this was the last time he’d see her, the last time he’d get to hold her. She had been like a dream, too good to be true, too colorful for his dark world, a splash of color he was about to wipe off his soul.

“Call your mom for me, tell her I said sorry.” Bucky dried her tears with his lips, kissing along her cheeks, anything to remember the feeling of her skin, the scent of hers he’d hold onto as life has lost its meaning.

Bile pooled in her mouth, insides churning, finally understanding that he was saying goodbye. He was waking her from the dream that had clouded her mind for months, pulling her back into the harsh reality of her life. She couldn’t live without him, couldn’t survive if she wouldn’t breathe the same air as Bucky.

“Take the suitcase and run.” A soft push ripped her off his chest, hands no longer holding onto him. (Y/n)’s vision was blurred, tears kept on streaming down her cheeks, dripping onto the dirty diner floor. Bucky disappeared in the crowd of dancing people, he didn’t spare her another glance, didn’t stick around for long enough to see if she’d make it to safety.

---

Rain was falling from the sky, pitter-pattering against her window. Different polaroid pictures were placed on her blanket, memories she had kept in her suitcase, hidden away for months. The reminders of him had been too painful for (y/n), she barely looked at the pictures she had taken of his handsome face, but she couldn’t make it through the day without touching the necklace he had gifted her, hoping that his scent was still sticking to the metal.

“What’s that?” Her chuckles rumbled through her, naked body placed in front of him, waiting for Bucky to finally give in. He had been teasing her for the past hours, keeping her at arm's length, barely touching her.

“A promise,” his voice dropped, hands finally reaching for hers, “a promise that no matter what, you’ll always have my heart.”

The silvery necklace he pulled out of his jacket got placed around her neck, twinkling in the faint light. (Y/n)’s fingers traced the pendant, smiling at the man her heart had chosen to love. The kiss she pressed against his lips grew raw and hungry, pulling him closer to her naked frame.

Bucky’s fingers ran through her folds, collecting drops of arousal that dripped from her heat, begging him to finally fuck her. She reached for his length, pumped him a few times, silently asking him if he was ready to make love to her all through the night.

Both moaned in unison, holding onto one another, settling for a calm rhythm, trying to get adjusted to one another’s body. Her walls fluttered, feeling the thin, velvety skin of his, exploring every inch of his glorious self, ready to burn her touch into his soul.

“Here, this came for you.” Her mother entered the room with a smile on her lips, placing a card down on (y/n)’s desk. She had left before her daughter could ask any questions, leaving her behind with her loud thoughts. Cautiously she neared her desk, fingers running along the slightly worn-out paper of the card.

“Greetings from Rome” had been printed onto the paper, next to a few pictures. Her hands trembled as she turned the card, a single chuckle left her lips, glassy eyes reading through the words that had been scribbled onto the paper.

No matter what, he’d always have her heart, even oceans apart.

Marvel Taglist: @jensenackles512 @princesspumpkiin @cuddle-stuff @mrs-salvawhore @thenightperson @jellybean-22 @writethelifeyouwant @band–psycho @23victoria @huntheimpossible @positionsfyou @missryerye @lowilaufeyson @gothicxbarbie@bluesclues-1234 @miraclesoflove @coldlilheart @pandaxnienke @cherieweasley @wittysunflower @your-hispanichufflepuff @angelusviate @savior-adriana @mbjackie @belladonnablackwood @abookishpineapple @doasyoudesireandlive @mbjackie

Fallen Angels: @mgkbabygirl @shrekboobies @ivelveti @honiebee @itstaylorcale @mcira @megamieversole-blog @amelia-song-pond @bwbatta @damianoaf

Add yourself to my taglist

#Bucky Barnes smut #fireflymovieinspo #Bucky Barnes imagine

108 notes · View notes

emiewritesthings · 4 years ago

Text

a place of our own - jay halstead

jay halstead x fem!reader

summary: in which y/n and jay throw a small get together in celebration of buying their first house together

requested?: yesss by anonymous (can I request a Jay x reader where it took some time for the together but they've been now dating for 2 or 3 years and decided to move in together and they celebrate it throwing a party with close friends and jay surprises her proposing with a heartfelt speech? please and thank you 🥰 )

warnings: none

a/n: thank you for all your support over the past week :) it literally makes me so emotional to think people are liking what i write. any feedback is always welcomed, thank you for everything

- emie <3

masterlist

in all honesty, when jay had put the deposit down for the house, y/n didn’t know what he saw in it. it was their first time buying a house as a couple, both giving up their apartments that were on the opposite ends of the city to be reunited in a place of their own.

it was beaten up pretty badly; a few of the front windows were missing the glass, spray paint decorated a few of the bricks courtesy of some local kids. not to mention it was cold and damp, not giving off the warmest of welcomes. but jay was adamant that it was their house, their home.

it took its time, but months later y/n had to admit that the transformation the brick structure had undergone was remarkable.

everything y/n could want was handed to her on a silver platter. the once yellow tinted cream, mouldy walls had been covered by a fresh layer of grey paint. the broken floorboards replaced and covered by thick, soft carpets. y/n had nominated herself as chief decorator, since she had no desire to help jay deal with the technical stuff earlier on in the project. not that jay was complaining.

y/n could still remember the look of shock when she had returned from her ‘quick trip’ to ikea with a large amount of pillows and throws, stressing they were essential pieces of her aesthetic. but jay didn’t mind, he loved the thought of living a house that was covered in reminders of the woman he loved so dearly.

it was sometime in mid-july when y/n had declared she had officially finished the renovation of 1135 Butterfly Gardens. for a week or so, the pair allowed them to soak in their hard work, admiring how each room was a reminder that they were finally together.

to think that the two had been so hesitant to start dating in the beginning felt ridiculous. y/n cursed her past self for never daring to admit her feelings to jay earlier, but she was thankful for the last 3 years they had spent together.

side by side till the end of the line.

it had been one of those cliche quotes that jay had bought on a card for their first anniversary, but it had strangely stuck. y/n had assured that in their room hung a picture of the two with the words carefully printed beneath it.

of course, in traditional y/n style, she couldn’t wait to invite their friends over. it had been on their day off that they had invited the members of their chosen family over to the house. y/n had been rushing around cleaning every surface in sight, as if their friends would turn their noses up at the sight of a speck of dusk. but y/n couldn’t help it, cleaning was her coping mechanism. and she couldn’t deny the anxiety raketing through her veins.

unfortunately she had been so caught up in her own head, that she had failed to notice the strange behaviour she was receiving from her other half. jay had been acting rather distant in the days leading up to the party. he would go out for long ‘walks’, coming back and locking himself in what y/n called his ‘mancave’. he would take calls outside and when y/n asked him what was wrong he would brush it off and just kiss her lips in hope of distracting her. obviously it worked every time, who wouldn’t be with a man like jay halstead kissing them?

the ringing of the doorbell had caught y/n off guard. having spent the majority of her day in the kitchen cooking every recipe her grandmother had ever taught her, she abandoned the oven mitts and sprinted in the direction of the front door. thankfully, however, by the time she reached it, jay was already stood with kevin, adam, will and nat.

“there she is, the woman of the hour!” kevin cheered, being the first to embrace her tightly into his large, muscular arms. his lips pressing a sweet kiss onto her forehead in joy of seeing the woman.

kevin and y/n had gone to school together since elementry, in fact y/n had helped kevin for years raising his two siblings. he had been the one to introduce jay to y/n, when she showed up to the district, ready to spend her lunch break with her best friend.

let’s just say kevin had given her a slight nudge to reveal her true feelings to jay, telling her he had already brought a suit for their wedding. classic kevin, dramatic as always.

letting her go, y/n hugged the rest of the group. thanking them for their house warming gifts that they had given to jay. by the end of the hour their house was filled with close friends. y/n had been so busy catching up with those she hadn’t seen in weeks that she had hardly seen jay all day. the times she had seen him, he had made an excuse to leave and go find will, who now she thought about it had been smiling at her an awful lot.

walking into the backyard with kim and nat stuck to her side, she couldn’t help but feel her entire soul relax at the sight of her man sat in a garden chair, chuckling along with something that adam had said.

with a mission in her hands, she didn’t even glance at the spare garden chairs littered around the garden. instead, y/n walked up to jay and perched herself on his lap. a worrying thought passing her mind that she was too heavy, but before she could consider getting off, jay weaved his arms around her waist pulling her closer.

“hey, baby.” he greeted, pressing his lips against the skin her yellow sundress exposed on her shoulder. the feeling was addicting, but with company around, it was gone as quick as it arrived.

“am i losing my mind or have you been avoiding me?” blunt as always, y/n looked back at jay. her eyes studying how his adam’s apple bobbed as he gulped. y/n knew jay was a good liar, i mean part of his job was going undercover and keeping up a lie. meaning whatever he was hiding, whatever he wasn’t telling her had to be big.

“of course not, i’ve just been busy, you know?” y/n didn’t know, because he had been taking extra measures to spend time with anyone but him. she had seen him have a thirty minute conversation with mouch about his favourite type of chile. if that was what busy looked like, she might have muddled up her definitions up.

“okay then.” she stated blankly, standing up with such force that jay’s arms instantly fell off her body. jay watched with cautious eyes, half expecting y/n to dig deeper into whatever was going on, but instead she took a seat in between adam and kevin. her eyes didn’t glance over to him once, instead she began conversation with the two men with no intentions of inviting jay into their whispers.

jay frowned, knowing she was serving him a large dish of his own medicine. the feeling of someone patting him on the shoulder made him draw his eyes away from y/n and land of his brother, who was smirking like an idiot.

“she really has you wrapped around her finger, huh?” he teased, handing jay another beer that he had left for a few moments before y/n’s arrival. not bothering to give his brother the satisfaction of answering, he brought the bottle to his lips and took a large swig. feeling the taste ease his nerves before shoving it back in his brother’s hands.

“i’m gonna do it.” he confirmed, nodding his head more to motivate himself than will. the doctor patted his back lightly, urging him to go on. subtly jay tapped his jacket until he felt the cube-shaped object against his chest. briniging himself to his feet, he wandered away from the group and stood in the middle of the garden.

“excuse me! excuse me!” the music that was lightly playing from the various speakers placed around silenced, thanks to the help of will. all eyes, including that of his beloved, moved to him. a slight chill running through him as his mind reminded him that he was doing this and he was doing this now. “i just wanted to say a big thank you to all of you for coming to celebrate with me and y/n. hell knows, we would most likely not even be together if it wasn’t for some of you guys, so it’s a pleasure to be sharing this step in our relationship with you guys.”

jay’s chest fell tight with anticipation. breath, come on halstead, he thought.

“sometimes i think about the first time i met y/n, i think about how much time we wasted trying to trick ourselves into believing we were ever ‘just friends’. quite frankly i think i fell in love with her the moment i met her. i had this beautiful, intelligent, unbelievably challenging woman in front of me and i nearly let her go.”

jay had to take a second to keep the tears in his eyes at bay, mustering up the courage to look at y/n, who had began to become emotional herself. with a simple outreached arm, y/n got the hint that he wanted her by his side, as she pushed herself away from the white plastic chair and joined him. hand in his, smiling up as he continued.

“i don’t want to imagine a life without you. without your awful singing, without your obsessive cleaning, without your strange taste in tv shows,” the crowd chuckled, but jay wasn’t even paying attention, caught up in the loving storm behind y/n’s eyes. “i’m done wasting my time because for once in my life i know what i want.”

not knowing what was about to happen, y/n’s face dropped as jay fell to one knee. his hands shaking as one of them searched into his jacket pocket before bringing out a scarlett velvet box. y/n had to swallow the sob of pure joy, when he pried it open revealing the significant jewel resting on the gold band.

“y/n y/l/n i love you,” his voice cracked, making the crowd hollar in excitement. the sound of people taking photos didn’t throw off jay’s roll though. “and it would make me the happiest person alive if you would do me the honour of being my wife.” jay’s words were deep from his heart, as both pairs of watery eyes held one another’s gaze comfortingly.

y/n had never imagined a life with anyone but jay. she couldn’t remember how many times they had stayed awake deep within the hours of the morning talking about their future together: getting married, having kids, getting a dog. but none of it felt quite as real as the moment she saw jay on his knee, with hope glazing all his features.

“yes.” she sang so softly that it could have easily been missed by anyone, but to jay it might as well have been yelled through a megaphone.

“she said yes!” kevin yells, erupting the audience of the intimate moment into an uproar. jay stood from his position on the ground, not giving it a minute before pushing his lips against her’s. the kiss was filled with every ounce of passion they had felt over the years they had known one another.

when y/n felt her chest squeeze against her lungs, she allowed herself to retract. keeping her forehead against his, she watched as he slid the ring out of the box and onto her finger. the midsummer sun catching the large diamond, making it light up like a disco ball.

“so this is why you have been ignoring me?” she snorted, feeling ridiculous for thinking that he had been hiding some bombshell of a secret. jay’s cheeks filled with heat, as he looked from her eyes to her lips, before returning them to the loveable pools of colour.

“side by side,” he began, looking at her expectantly.

“till the end of the line.”

291 notes · View notes

jokertrap-ran · 5 years ago

Photo

Dance with Devils -Charming Book- Vol.1 Kaginuki (Arlond) Rem アクマに囁かれ魅了されるCD 「Dance with Devils -Charming Book-」 Vol.1 レム

*Commissioned by @awomansplaceisshapinghistory, Thank you! *Spoiler free: Translations under cut

Commissions are still open!

Track 1:

Are you progressing well with your homework? Heh, my apologies. It seems like I’ve startled you. I’ve actually just arrived. I heard from Urie that you were studying really hard in the library. Still, that must be a really hard problem you’re working on for you to not notice me enter the library.

I see. How about you let me take a little look at it. Hmm...This one’s right. And this one’s correct too. It’s pretty well done. It should be easier to solve if you tweak the formulas and the method a little. Although, I must say that it might take a while to do so. How about trying it out? Very well. Then let’s first start off by revising the formula. In this case, we have Sin X+ Cosine X and we should use this formula first. Your face’s looking a little red. Are you alright there? Ah...So you’re embarrassed? Seems like you’re still unable to get used to me being this close even after all this time. There’s no need for you to apologize. It’s not like I’m lecturing you about it or anything. Besides, you’re very lovely when embarrassed. How about you let me see that face of yours even more clearly? You don’t have to try to escape. There’s no one else here other than us two. There’s nothing to be ashamed about at all.

Heh. Even the nape of your neck has turned red. You’re as sweet-smelling as ever. It tempts me to leave my mark right here. One that claims you as mine. Did I go a little too far for your comfort? Don’t be so mad. I wasn’t just teasing you about it. I was just acting part-ways to my desire as I really do find you lovable. It’s just that...I simply withdrew because the sound of my own heartbeat was starting to sound a little deafening to my own ears. That aside, I apologize for getting in the way of your homework. Now then, you should just continue on with it. Don’t mind me. I’ll teach you the formula I was talking about earlier another time. Hm? Did I break your concentration? At times like this, you should sing. When you do, the stars sparkle bright, the days get brighter and warmth seeps into every crevice it can possibly find! I do sing often whenever I feel down or on rather gloomy days of my own.

...I guess this method doesn’t seem to be suited for you after all. Then...How about reading a book? Shiki did say that we got a couple of shipments here recently and that there were a few rather interesting picks. If I remember correctly, he said that they were all slotted in at the bookshelves in the far back. I’ll guide you there. Here, your hand if you may.

That’s strange. They’re all books with nothing interesting to note at all. Exactly what does Shiki find interesting in these tomes? Hm? What’s the matter? You can’t open that book? Let me see. Well, there doesn’t seem to be a keyhole or anything from what I can see. But I certainly can’t open it either. Was this what Shiki meant when he said that there was a rather interesting book here?

Ngh! This presence! This is the feeling of magic...It can’t be! Is this a magic book!? It flipped open of its own accord! This magic book has a consciousness of its own!? I was tricked! This is bad!

Track 2:

...Ngh...Where am I…? Are you alright!? I see that you’ve awoken. Are you hurt? Do you feel unwell anywhere at all? Haa, thank god for that. If anything were to happen to you, I…

Since when did you change out into that dress? My attire has changed as well...Is this attire change also due to that magic book’s power? Still, I must say that these are pretty well made. It’s pretty much what one gets from a large amount of monetary investment to get it made. You look utterly stunning in a dress. This light sky blue colour really does bring out the colour of your skin. Right, I’d gladly take my time to admire your current state of...dress, but we’ll have to leave that for later. We’re currently in a strange situation that I’m unable to wrap my head around. We have to first gather some information and get a grasp on the situation we’re in.

As far as I can see, this room probably belongs to someone with a high social status. That, I can tell from the amount of branded, high quality things decorating this place. They’re all old...Antiques, maybe, but they’re all very well-maintained and well cared for. But that’s still not nearly enough information. Let’s get out of this room and see what else we can find outside. You should wait inside here just as a precaution. I’ll head on out alone first-

Wha-!? What’s this noise? Where is it coming from? Words are forming on the walls. “The Naked King”? Is this a title of sorts?

“Long, long ago, in a land far away, there lived a king who absolutely adored clothes. One day, the king bought a set of rare clothes that would seem to be transparent when fools laid their eyes upon it.

And this, the king decided to wear that set of precious, priceless clothes to the procession. He had decided to show and flaunt his new attire.”

Hm? The words on the wall have disappeared...That was certainly the work of magic. Could it be that...I see. I have just managed to finally get a grasp of the situation we’re currently in. We’re probably in a realm within the magic book itself. There’s no other reason for us being here otherwise.

Yes, that’s right. The magic book I picked up back in the library reacted to my own and activated because of that. In other words, this magic book is acting on its own accord. Which can be considered to be a pretty bad situation.

Ah. Speaking of “The Naked King”...Is that the title of that door there? If that’s so...Then that means that there are more doors like this within the magic book. Which means...We’re both currently within that very same story. Hm...Perhaps that’s why our attires were swapped out as well. That dress that seemed to be perfectly fitted and tailored for you...Just like one perfectly suited for a royalty of court. And...the king who supposedly stands tall beside you. That’s supposed to me, isn’t it? I’m still unsure of what the magic book’s motives are but I’m sure that we’ll be released from this realm so long as we manage to see this tale through.

We should be fine if we go along with the flow of things and wait for it all to conclude.

No, it’s just...Well, I’m not too familiar with human tales. Is “The Naked King” a popular story? I was made to dress like a king and am expected to play an active role in this tale?

Ngh!? You mean, I have to walk in front of my subjects stark naked in the end!? Me? Naked? There’s no way I can do that! No...But, that’s also one of the conditions I have to fulfil in order to get us out of this realm created by that book! But still, to parade around in my birthday suit in front of the masses...No, wait! But that means that I’ll be completely exposed- I can’t let her see me in that state, what if she gets mentally scarred by it!? But wait, that’s still rather fortunate-

...I’ve set my heart out. If it’s to protect you, I’ll become naked if that’s what it takes!!

Ah! I see...There’s also a possibility where we could search for other methods to get through this predicament just like you say. Heh. As expected of my lover indeed. Calm and collected even in times like this and coming to the most logical conclusions. Well then, let’s keep the option of me prancing around stark naked as our last resort. And till then...Let’s search for other ways to get through this by hook or by crook.

Track 3:

Our acting of being the Queen and King aside, I really never thought that things would end up this way. Indeed, I did enjoy myself as well. Although, I’d say that the reason for that is probably different from yours. The king and the king...I’m glad that we’re acting and being treated like a married couple. Heh, seems like you didn’t notice that at all. In this world we’re currently in, we aren’t just lovers but we’re instead, husband and wife. It’s an important fact for our acting to work out as well. That’s why...You can come closer to me. This should be obvious, given that we’re married now. You don’t have to look away to hide your face. The sunset here is so bright that I wouldn’t know if your cheeks or ears were red.

I feel like relishing in the moment right now and forgetting all about our current predicament. I feel like staying here forever, with you, as beautiful as you are. Along with this magnificent, dazzling garden. Gazing at the sunset forever and ever…

What’s the matter? Of course, I don’t mind if you wish to take a break. Did that tire you out? Me? There’s no way I’d be tired with such simple things. Even if I were a king in this story we’re currently playing out, I’d say that my job as the student council president is much more hectic and busy. Now then, I’d love to stay and chat with you, but we’ve really got to get back and sort out all this new information we’ve acquired from the past few days.

From what we’ve gathered from our inspections of the area, the areas not depicted in the story itself along with the rest of the world aside from the court and the castle do not exist. As I’m sure that you’ve witnessed yourself. In other words, even if there was a way out, it would most certainly be within the castle itself or the court areas here. And also...Regarding the words that we saw on the wall, new words form whenever the sun rises. I’m sure that’s proof that the story as proceeding onwards. As further proof of that, the ceremony preparations are also proceeding smoothly. And...There’s also the fact that every other person or being residing here besides us are all creations of that magic book. They all have forms and look human enough but they’re only capable of one-liners and the same repetitive words. Of course, it’s expected since they’re people who only exist within the book, but...We still do not know if they’ll eventually evolve to hold their own wills and thoughts. And...While I’ve managed to grasp a couple of things about this world we’re currently in, I’m still facing a dead-end in regards to its connection to our world.

Haa...Please don’t look so uneasy. We certainly don’t have a single clue right now, but I’ll definitely find a way for us to return back to our old world. I swear to save you and get you out of here even if this body of mine crumbles and fails. Why? Don’t you want to return to our old world? Heh. I see, so that’s it. You’re right. It won’t do at all if we don’t make it out together. What have I...I can’t believe that I even uttered those words. It seems like I’ve had a short lapse of memory. The sun will be setting soon. We should get back to the castle before it gets cold out. Here, come.

Heh. That’s a rather long sigh. I suppose you’re tired as well. We did walk out about the area quite a bit so you should really get a good night’s rest. Still...There are still a lot of things that we have yet to discover in this castle. We should go for a round around the castle’s rooms tomorrow morning. We might find out a little more. Come on then, we should turn in for the day since we have an early start tomorrow. I never expected us to be teleported into a world within the magic book but I’m glad for the fact that we’re together, at least.

Don’t just sit there, hurry and come under here. Heh. Won’t you stop distancing yourself from me? I won’t do anything. Come on, come here. Your adorable when flustered but you should really get used to sleeping together with me. Because we’ll eventually end up sleeping together like this anyway.

Hugging you close like this...letting myself relax with you in this manner fills we with a power that even I can’t explain. Plus, that brother of yours will never find his way here. I do feel bad for your only other family but it feels good to be monopolizing you all to myself. You’re mine for now. Only mine. Heh, have I surprised you? I apologize. How about I seek permission from you from now on? First...I wish to kiss this shell of your ear which has turned a lovely shade of red, may I? When will you deliver your reply? If you keep mum for this long, even I find it hard to hold myself back. Yes, alright. Next...Your neck with it’s absolutely delectable scent. Indulge me? Well, I’m troubled even if you tell me to do whatever I wish. I can hear my heartbeat so very loudly in my ears. I apologize for disturbing your sleep. I didn’t intend to do so but, it’s just that your very presence within the confines of my arms right now is such an honor. That’s right. This isn’t anything special at all considering our circumstances here. But even if it’s a given for such a thing to happen, that doesn;t change the fact that it brings me happiness. Still, I’d feel bad for keeping you from your sleep. I’d continue holding onto you so you can just fall asleep like that. That’s right, how about I stroke your head? Doing this calms me as well.

Heh. It seems like you’re clearly enjoying it. Just looking at you makes me feel sleepy as well. Come on then, close your eyes. Yes, good night.

Already asleep, huh. You must have been more worn out than you initially thought. What an adorable look you have on while sleeping. I wonder what you’re dreaming of right now? I do hope that it’s a good dream…

I have to hurry and find a way for us to get out of here before it’s too late. I’ll definitely save you. Even if my power fails me, I swear to get you out. Good night and sweet dreams.

Track 4:

This is the only place in the castle that we’ve yet to get a proper look at. There’s only 3 days left till the ceremony. It would be great if we had a couple of clues under our wing right about now- Mngh!? It’s great that you’re willing to hold my hand of your own accord right now but it’s a little troubling to have you yanking me along this hard!

No, I don’t mind. I know how you must feel right now. Besides worrying about whether we’re able to return to our world, you’re also worried about your mother and your brother, aren’t you? It’ll cause quite a big fuss back in our world if you’ve been missing for a couple of days as well. But don’t worry! There’s no way of telling that time flows the same inside of the book as it is in the outside world. There’s also a high chance that naught but a few minutes have passed in the real world. I suppose no one has noticed you missing yet. Although, I dare say that I can’t say the same for how much you miss your mother and brother and your yearning to find a way out as soon as possible.

It’s great to see that you’re a little less uneasy about things right now. I wish for you to rely on me if something were to crop up. I want to ease the uneasiness and worry you might be feeling to the best of my abilities if possibly. It’s also to protect that smile of yours. Yes, that’s right. I wish to be able to rely on you as well, if anything were to crop up and it calls for that.

Hm? What is it? This magic book’s motive? Well, that’s...No, I can’t say anything for sure. I apologize for being unable to answer your query. Rather than that, we should resume our search. We have to find clues about ways to return back to our original world as well.

This room’s really different from the others, considering how dusty it is inside. Plus it’s also pitch-black inside and I can’t really see much of anything. Perhaps it’s because of the absence of a light source other than the light coming from the very entrance itself. There probably wasn’t much life here or anyone living here for that matter. Still, even if that were the case...There seems to be quite the amount of personal possessions in here. I wonder if it was a warehouse or a storage room of sorts?

There’s a candle and a wick over here. Which means that...As I thought, there are matches here. If we have these...Alright. This works. Oh, that’s...Of course, I would have lit it up in just a moment with my magic but I simply used the match because it was simply lying there, just within reach. Putting that aside, we’re now able to get a clear view of the room now that we’ve lit up the candle. Indeed, it’s a mix of various items and trinkets. Other personal items left here would be...clothes? Was this someone’s living quarters? It as written in this story that the king did love clothes, but...there are quite a number of femenine clothing here. Hm? DId you manage to find something?

This is...No matter how you look at it, this surely can’t be an article of clothing from this world. It’s similar to the type of clothes you’d usually wear. But this one in particular seems closer to what we demons use. And from the age of this cloth, I’d say that it’s pretty old. Looking at the other outfits here, however, tells me that the people who were wearing them were all from different timelines. Hmm…I don’t know. I can’t make much out of this despite how we’re the only two who are supposed to be in this world right now. I see! Oh, no, it’s nothing. We should inspect everything in this room for now. There might perhaps be clues leading to our way back. There seems to be a collection of books over here. They seem much more valued than the clothes over there.

What’s the matter? Why are you silent? Are you shaking? This room certainly has an ill-feeling vibe around it. Everything is left out in a place like this, without any form of order. It’s very weird. Plus, it’s starting to get colder inside here. Maybe it’s because the sun’s setting? I’m sure you’re shaking because of the cold. I think this would calm you down a little but...We can stay like that for a while. I won’t leave your side if it calms you down. Your hand has gotten pretty chilly to the touch as well. You might lose all sense of touch to the numbness that’ll start to set in. It should start to warm up if I join your hand with mine. Heh. You don’t have to worry about me. It’s harder on me if I left you feeling all cold like that without doing anything. Has the feeling returned to your hands yet? I see, that’s good to hear. It still feels a little cold to the touch though. I’ll light up the fireplace once we return to our room. You can rest there for a while and I’ll stay there with you in front of the fireplace. I’m glad to see that you’re starting to feel a little less tense about all these. I won’t let anything happen or hurt you while I’m around. Even if anything were to happen, I...Ah, I apologize, It seems like I was gripping you a little too hard.

Hm? Something fell. This is...A magical amulet? Yeah. A magical amulet hold a stone that magic can be stored within. There isn’t any trace of magic left in this thing since it’s been down here for so long. RIght. If I were to place my magic into this...Ngh!

It should light up. This is proof that there’s magic within the stone. You can try touching it. I’m pretty sure you must be surprised at how it’s warm to the touch. Within the confines of this stone dwells a flame. A fire made from my magic is burning within its depths. If you hold onto this, I’m sure you’ll be able to watch your footing even if you’re surrounded by pitch-black darkness. Here, let me clasp it around your neck. Come closer. The fact that my magic’s together with you means that I’m with you. This magical amulet will definitely protect you if anything were to happen.

Ngh! My apologies, I seem to be rather tired today. Don’t look so worried, this isn’t an issue at all. Still, won;t you let me stay within your arms for a while more. It feels really comfortable here. Thank you, but...It’s pathetic of me to be showing you such a weak side. I can rely on you anytime? I wish for the same as well. If that’s the case...Will you hear me out on this one selfish request of mine? If you could hold onto me tighter? I want to ingrain your warmth and the feeling of you into my memory. Yes, thank you.

Track 5:

It’s finally the day of the ceremony. And it turns out that we never did find any leads on both ends. Hm? You’re asking me if I’m alright? In what sense do you mean? Heh. I’m as normal as I can be as far as you can see. Any exhaustion you see on my being is because of the through inspection we did of every nook and cranny in this place. There’s no need for you to worry. What’s with that all of a sudden? Of course I’ll be appearing out there in front of the masses today. There’s no other way back to the real world for us if I do not.

We never did find another method to get out of this realm. There’s no other choice. Still, it would be great if the story did end just like the tale of “The Naked King” and all I had to do was to follow it through just as how it was written out to be. No, it’s nothing at all.

Oh? This sound...It seems like the story has a continuation. “The day of the ceremony had finally arrived. The invisible clothing that was made and fitted from the king was brought into his very chambers, clothing that would look invisible to fools.”

I see. So the clothes are supposed to be within this box? The story won’t continue if I don’t open it. Let’s see. W-What’s the meaning of this? This is the school’s uniform! Why would they be returning me my clothes now of all times? What is their objective? Are they aiming for something? Wait! You shouldn’t carelessly touch it! Ngh!

T-This-!! I see...They’re vicious! To think that they’ll forcibly suck out all the magic from my being just right before the story’s end! It seems like the ending I did predict was actually true. I kept quiet about it because I didn’t want to cause you worry but it seems like the end objective of this magic book is to suck out all the life source and the magic of the humans and demons alike it has trapped within itself. Do you remember the copious amounts of clothes we found back in that room? They were all remnants of this book’s past victims. And with that large amount of physical remnants left behind...I dare say that this book’s been living for just as long, preying on beings. And the same goes for me as well, my magic has been gradually sucked out from my being the longer I stay. Ngh! There were complications but this accursed book’s aim had always been me, a demon. Still, I never would have thought that it wanted that much of my powers and that was the price I had to pay. If this goes on, it’ll steal all of my power from me before we can even get to the ending of this story. It came here to take the rest of my powers away, disguised as that pile of clothing! The king that loved clothes...This magic book uses clothes as it’s way of preying on the people and it does seem rather effective. Bait...That’s why it’s giving us our uniforms now of all times. Sorry for keeping mum about it. But you looked uneasy just by being ensnared and trapped by this book. I couldn’t let you down and cause you more unease than I already did.

Ugh! It finally showed it’s true form! I’m sure that every other being in this castle’s the same as well, meant to impede and stop us in our path. It intends to end me with its own proverbial hands. The door’s locked for now, but it’ll eventually break from that amount of pressure being placed upon it. We were too late!? If it’s come down to this, then--Flames!

I don’t know how long I can hold them back with my remaining magic. I;ve managed to knock it down for now but it won’t always stay down. It’ll rear back for another attack again after a while.

We don’t have the time to spare till it gets back up so let’s hurry and move to a bigger room!

That scuffle we had earlier has drained more of my magic than I thought it would. It wouldn’t be strange if I’m unable to hold my ground any longer. No, it’s useless. There’s no exit out of this world we’re trapped in. We’re just cornered rats right now with nowhere to run.

It’ll be alright. I won’t let them hurt you no matter what. I’ll definitely- That’s right. I won’t let you hurt a single hair on her head. No matter what I have to do, no matter what ends I have to go to.

Heh. Hear me out. There’s one other way out. Yes, I mean it. So just leave everything to me and stay put.

Magic book! I’m sure you can hear me! It seems like you were unable to suck out all of my magic even with your last attempt at it. A pity, really, but I still have magic left within me! I’m sure you must want it. This magic that runs through my veins. The magic of the Arlond family that’s so rare and highly priced! Listen well! I’ll give you this magic of mine and even this body if you wish! But in exchange, you’ll have to return her back to our original world!

I understand and appreciate your sentiments. But there is and will be no meaning to this life of mine if you’re not back there in one piece. Please, don’t stop me. I apologize. There’s no other option here. No matter what the repercussions may be, I only wish to save you. Yes...I thought that we’d be returning back to our world together. But I’m sure even you know that there’s no other way to this right now. The thought of us being separated had never once crossed my mind. But I wish to save you just as much as that very same sentiment. I beg of you to please understand me. I simply wish to save the person that I love.

Do you understand? If so, then...W-Why? All of the sudden...There’s no meaning to you being alive if I’m not there? Am I...I’m...Such an important existence in your life as well? ...No...I see. It wasn’t as if I forgot but for us...We can’t put the other at stake. We promised to get out of here together, alive. That’s right. Heh...Yeah. Even if I managed to get you out in one piece, I’m sure that you’ll come back looking for me just to get me out. I can’t let you do something like that. Very well, I’ll have to prepare myself if that’s the case. That’s right, we’re getting out of here! No matter what we have to do!

Sorry but I’ve decided against giving you the rest of my magic! If you want it, you’ll just have to come and get it!!

Humph. Of course you’d take up the challenge. This is also partially your fault for keeping us trapped in here. There’s no need to fear you, there’s no way I’d do so no matter how long you keep us trapped in here! Slow! Fla--

Ngh--!

It seems like I’m unable to even summon my sword out anymore...How can I defeat it without my sword? It’ll be alright. I’ll bring it down one way or another! I’m sure that’ll be possibly if I hardness all of my remaining magic! Yes! That’s it! The magical amulet, the flames I granted you! There’s no doubt that what’s inside it is the physical form of my magic! If I utilize the magic within...Listen well, I want you to break that amulet upon my signal. Can you do it? Yeah, I’ll be relying on you.

Now, come at me whenever you please! We’re prepared for you! Now!! All of the flames are within my grasp! You’ll burn into nothingness with this! Rest assured, this flame is one of mine. It’s my magic so you’ll be fine so long as you stay within my arms. We should be able to get back to our world once it turns into ash. Could I hold you tighter? I want to be certain of the feeling of you in my arms. I can’t believe that I tried to give up something of such importance, currently residing in my arms. This foolishness of mine will only ever happen this one time and will never be spoken of henceforth again. However, I won’t ever let you go again. Yes, I mean it. No matter what happens, I vowed to stay by your side till the very end.

Track 6:

Haa...We’ve finally managed to come back. Can you get up? Here, take my hand. It seems like time hasn’t passed here while we were stuck in that book, just like I predicted. It’s not even sunset yet. The magic book’s turning to ash...Of course, that’s how it reaches its end.

At least there’ll be no more victims who’d fall prey to this book any longer. Besides, my powers are back to normal as well. Still...To think that Shiki would even bring in such a dangerous book. He might have inserted it to the pile, thinking that it was an interesting book, but...I’ll still have to give him a sharp telling off for his actions this time room. But for now, rather than rattling his ear off...There’s something I have to do. And that is...Hugging you as such. Even I was surprised to hear you say that you wouldn’t return to this realm alone. Perhaps it was your bleeding wounds...I thought that I wouldn’t be able to save you.

But still, we’ve managed to return to this realm in a full piece together. It’s only because you were so stubborn back there, pouring your entire being into telling me how you really feel. Heh, there’s no need to be modest at all. If it weren’t for your words, I’m sure that I wouldn’t even be standing here with you right now. I’m really...fortunate to have such a brave and affectionate lover like you. Hm? Me? ...But I don’t remember myself ever being reckless?

Eh? Right...I did keep the fact that my magic was all but sucked into oblivion to myself but that was only so that I wouldn’t make you feel uneasy. And...I was willing to sacrifice myself to that accursed tome so long as it meant that you would make it out safely…

I apologize. I didn’t mean to upset you. I swear that I’ll never try to face things alone by myself anymore. I promise to stay by your side and serve as your protector.

No- I just thought that a kiss was needed to seal a vow during times like this? Still...I never thought that such a simple action of mine would elicit such an adorable response from you. I’m so relieved right now that my own heartbeat is pounding in my ears.

It was just a simple, small kiss. And yet here you are, turning all red again. Please don’t run away. I want to feel you. Staying in such close proximity like this makes me feel at peace. Yeah...Didn’t I say so earlier as well? That even if something’s a given, it still doesn’t change the fact that it brings me happiness I won’t ever let you out of the cage of my arms. I love you and I’ll stay by your side, from now on and forever.

#Dance With Devils #Dance With Devils Charming Book #Kaginuki Rem #Arlond Rem #Saito Souma #Rejet #Otome #Drama CD #Translations #commissions #comission #Translation comission

65 notes · View notes

snoozejoon · 6 years ago

Text

Fools | Park Jimin

pairing: park jimin x black female oc (featuring jung hoseok)

genre: angst, cheating!jimin au

word count: 7.1k

ongoing series!

05 - EMPTINESS

She sleeps all day, dreams of you in both worlds. Tills the blood, in and out of uterus. Wakes up smelling of zinc, grief, sedated by orgasm. Orgasm heightened by grief. God was in the room when the man said to the woman, "I love you so much, wrap your legs around me and pull me in, pull me in, pull me in." Sometimes when he'd have her nipple in his mouth, she'd whisper, "oh my God." That too, is a form of worship. Her hips grind. Pestle and water, cinnamon and gloves. Whenever he pulls out, lost.

Dear moon; we blame you for floods, for the flush of blood. For men who are also wolves. We blame you for the night, for the dark, for the ghosts.

HOSEOK DOESN’T pick up on the first ring. Neither the second, nor the third. But the fourth time, she finally hears his groggy voice semi-angrily answering his phone.

"Hello?"

Rosalie falls back onto her soft couch, and Juno underneath her snores louder than she was before. The television is playing still, but the volume has been lowered since Rosalie ceased to find it in her to sing; her voice had a certain raspiness to it when she spoke now. She blinks, remembering who was on the phone after he repeats himself.

"Oh. Hi, Hobi." For a moment, she forgets her reason for calling him. But just for a moment. He figures out who called him quickly, his annoyed voice turning into one of concern,

"What the- Rosie?" She hears him sit up, can hear the click of a lamp as he does so, checking the time on his alarm. "It's after 3 am, is-is there anything wrong? Should I call Jimin? Where's Haeran?"

He's up now, scratching his head and yawing, awaiting her response. It didn't phase her at how concerned he was; but let this be a day of the past, and Jimin would just be coming home. A scowl appears on her face then, at the thought of him. It still stung.

"No. Do not call that. . . that fool." Her eyes roll as she improves the grip of her phone, "and Haeran is fine."

Hoseok pauses on the other line, she was drunk, of course, but fool? Not even the nights the three of them spent drunk as hell on the floors of her living room has she said that to describe Jimin.

His stomach churns uncomfortably, and he swallows harshly before he speaks, "fool? What do you - what do you mean, Rosie?"

He hears her scoff, the sound of leather stretching against bare skin. "Yes, a fool. He cheated on me, and had the nerve to think he wasn't going to get caught. What the hell else would he be? A genius?"

She scoffs again, moving Juno's head from the side of the couch and onto a pillow, "he's a ... a damn fool. A fucking idiot. Oh my god, I h-hate him."

Her mind doesn't recognize the power of the words she just released, but nothing but what was happening now mattered anyway. She can't taste the venom on her tongue at the moment, because the alcohol has numbed her tastes. She's just numb, and she hates it. There was a pit in her stomach and all she wanted was to remove it; but she couldn't reach it no matter how hard she tried. She was too empty to even fully care.

All means of sleep begone, Hoseok stood, Rosalie's words roaming through his head so quickly he needed to mentally slow down to understand them. Jimin cheated? On Rosalie? It really was the weirdest thing to even imagine, because this was the same guy who broke into tears before she even finished walking down the aisle. For fuck's sake, Hoseok literally went to his wedding. What the hell? He shook his head, detecting Rosalie's speech and her slur of words; she was probably somewhere unsafe, drunk as hell, suffering from her heartbreak. Hoseok feels a bit of respect leak out from what he held for Jimin then. No one should be able to make Rosalie feel that way. She was always the strong one; no one should be able to wear that away. Especially not Jimin, her Husband.

"Rosalie, where are you?" He asks, interrupting his questioning thoughts and grabbing a light jacket. His keys were in his hands and his body was already out the door. Rosalie hums, her hands somehow finding its fingers caressing Juno's hair.

"I'm at my special place. Me and Juno were rockin' out in the karaoke room earlier!" She giggles, removing her hand from her friend's hair; and Hoseok knows she has to be really drunk because he's never heard those words escape her mouth before, "but i had to stop because I lost my voice a little from singing so loud. You can hear it, can't you? Is it sexy like a man's? I think it is." She giggles again.

He doesn't answer that, but instead buckles his seatbelt as he got inside his car. Juno is there too?

"Rosie, stay there," he says, backing up from his driveway. He can't just leave her there. He has to do something. "I'm coming."

When he sees Rosalie sprawled on the couch of the karaoke room, he sighs, looking at her current state. She was humming a random tune now, her body at one end of the couch and Juno's at the other. Her phone was still in her right hand, and her heels were still on her feet. He walked over to her, kneeling down in front of the couch and nudging her softly.

“Hey," he whispered, "Rosie. I'm here." He moved back as she got up, reaching for the remote on the coffee table and clicking the television off. "Come on, I’m taking you home." When he says that, he sees her eyes widen and her head shake quickly,

"No!" she whisper-yelled, "not home. Anywhere but home." The sound of juno randomly snoring louder gets their attention, their faces falling back on each other moments after,

"Not home? Then where else-"

"Anywhere, Hobi." Her eyes were too glossy for him to argue anymore. He didn't want to inflict any more pain on her than what was already there.

"Okay."

It takes longer than he planned getting them both into his car. Rosalie could barely stand, and Juno proved to be a rather angry drunk who didn't like to be woken up by anyone. But eventually, he succeeds at getting them both into his car; with Juno draped across the leather seats of the backseat — with a seatbelt across her middle — and Rosalie, in the passenger seat. Somehow he figures out Juno's address and carried her inside, with her spewing curses at him for even thinking about waking her up again.

Rosalie waited in the car, slightly sobered and playing with the windows Hoseok didn't bother to lock. When he comes back to his car to see her window ascending and descending slowly, he almost says something, but decides against it. It was too late to cause anything and she'd been through so much already. She should do as she pleases. He plops into the driver's seat and her eyes immediately cast toward him, waiting.

Only he has no idea what to do, or where to go. His hands rested on his steering wheel, waiting to do something but having nothing to fulfill their needs. He tightened his lips against each other, facing Rosalie,

"Um?" His tongue suddenly felt dry as he searched for the right words to say.

He didn't want to just sit here, or drive around — it was way too late for that and the drowsiness that was masked as determination was catching up to him. He yearned for the soft, plushness of his bed, but Rosalie was still here and he had no idea of what to do.

He could take her to his place, but wouldn't that be a little prude? She was still married, despite her. . . situation. And taking her to his place would serve a disrespectful motive to something that was certainly innocent. He doesn't want that, but he also doesn't want to put Rosalie under more stress by taking her home. So begrudgingly, he took her to his place, grimacing at how bad this looked at every turn, but Rosalie's reassurance was more of a priority.

No one in particular was watching anyway.

"Home sweet home," Hoseok muttered, leading a loopy Rosalie inside.

Immediately, she removes her shoes and strips herself of her jacket, dropping it into his hands, and he fumbles with it before hanging it up. She begins walking to the first room she can find; which happened to be his. He awkwardly follows her and catches her right before she belly-flops on his bed.

"Hey," she whined, pulling from his arms. "M'sleepy." She said it in English, so it took him a moment to fully grasp what she said.

"I know," he says, opening the blanket and letting her slide into it. "Here." He fluffs a pillow, and watches as she snuggles up inside of it.

She was an adorable drunk, to be honest.

Hoseok notices the time on his alarm as he stands; it was the ripe time of 4:37 a.m, and he was more than eager to find solace on the pillows of his couch.

"Well," he says, dropping his arms to his sides, "i'm gonna head out to my couch. Goodnight, Rosie."

"Good—wait!" she shoots up, a hand flying to her head in deep thought. Hoseok turns from the doorway slowly; he really didn't expect the random burst of energy.

"The gala," she says, a sudden realization flowing over her and her quivering words, her eyes watering at the thought. "It's tomorrow."

Damn. She was right, it was tomorrow. Or today; if he was being technical. He couldn't imagine what could be going through her head currently — partially because he hasn't married yet, and partially because she was drunk off of her mind. But he decides he can still offer his sympathy; it was a great distraction for the unsettling anger growing inside for Jimin and what he did.

He walks over to her, seeing her eyes slowly well up and hugging her tightly. She instantly broke into tears.

"I'm so sorry, Rosie," he whispered, hugging her tighter as her cries slightly grew in volume. "You know you can just skip it, right? No one will be upset or anything."

She could. She really could. It still hurt like hell to be around Jimin, and having to fake her smiles and reactions to whatever the people there said wasn't going to be easy. But she had to be strong. Stronger than what she was now; weeping in her friend's arms. She had to keep herself together; hold herself to some sort of responsibility without breaking into fragile pieces. She's scared, she realizes. She's scared of letting others believe she was anything but the titan of her world everyone thought she was. She's scared of disappointing herself.

And all of this from her husband's infidelity.

There were often times Rosalie would tell herself that she would never be able to understand all the women at the firm who were well aware of how their husbands were all lacking at being able to keep their dicks in their pants, but were able to simply accept it, and forgive. For whatever reasons they’d tell her when the topic came up. She remembered being in silent disbelief, but also being able to breathe a little more freely because she wasn’t them. Because her husband was faithful and because she trusted him with all of her heart.

She can’t believe how naive she’d been.

"No," she sniffles, lifting up her head slightly. "I'm going. I need something to distract myself. I..I won't let him win. Let him break me." She inhaled deeply her breath shuddering.

"I've got shit to do." She wipes her tears. Hoseok smiles sadly, hugging her one last time.

"I don't think you should go, but I'll be there, if you need me. I’ve got you, Rosie." He released her then, removing himself from the bed, letting her lean back so he could pull the blankets up. He reaches over to his lamp, clicking off the light as he watches her eyelids finally decide to flutter. She needed all the rest she could get.

Her eyes are hazy, and she's still drunk; but her mind tells her to be extremely grateful. Grateful for juno, and her ability to help blind herself from her feelings. and grateful for Hoseok, too; for helping her come to terms with them.

"Thank you," she whispers, her gratitude laced between every word she spoke.

“Goodnight.”

Unsurprisingly, Rosalie has one of the most intense headaches she's ever had since her first sip of alcohol when she turned 21. She awoke with a groan — disappointed that she allowed herself to turn to drinks to blur her raging feelings, but not shocked that she chose to do so. Her eyes wandered to her surroundings; and she quickly realized that this was definitely not the couch of her karaoke room, neither was this her own bedroom. Although her clothes weren't removed and she still had all her fingers and toes, worry still creeped up inside her as she removed the blankets from her legs and peered at the time.

9:27 a.m. A glass of water on the nightstand with two aspirin pills beside it were near the alarm clock, and she grabbed them with an esteemed urgency, swallowing them quickly. She needed to get home, and fast. She shoots a text to Juno, asking where she was and if she was okay before someone knocks at the door.

Her eyes widen at the sound, her body flinching and her senses heightened.

Who is that?

"Rosie? Are you up?"A voice softly called. She instantly sighs in relief; it wasn't a weirdly kind kidnapper at her door, it was just Hoseok. The reasoning why only had to be that she had done something unreasonably unwise in her drunken state. She's already feeling a rush of embarrassment thinking of what that could've been.

"Y-yes! I'm up." She stands as the door opens, with Hoseok poking his head in first with the rest of his body following. He's wearing casual clothing instead of pajamas; he must've just flopped on the couch from being so tired. He smiles warmly, before walking over to her, placing his hand on her forehead.

"Hm. You're not warm. You feel okay? Did you take the aspirin?" His eyes are furrowed with a cautious worry and his hair is horribly disheveled as he speaks. She nods, moving his hand from her head slowly.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Stop babying me," she says playfully as she looks up at him. "Did Juno get home safe?" He nods at her words again and she thanks him for being so considerate.

"I mean, I couldn't really leave her there," he laughs. "She was actually really mad at me for waking her up."

"Yeah, that's Juno for you. She finds more anger in drinking than pleasure,” she giggled.

A lightbulb seems to go off in her head for a moment, so she asks quickly, "Wait. What all happened exactly? I remember Juno taking me to the karaoke room, but everything else is kind of blurry." She looked up at him warily, not knowing what to expect, but it couldn't be so bad, right?

Hoseok grimaced, his hand going straight to the nape of his neck; his nervous tick. He sucked in a breath, "Well."

That alarmed her. She sat up straighter then, bracing herself for the information she was so careless to expose. She tried to preview in her mind everything she could've said on a scale from being slightly uncomfortable, but not as embarrassing to extremely private and totally ignominious. In all honesty, she was kind of fine with mentioning anything but what happened with Jimin.

God, she thought. Not him.

Hoseok couldn't meet her eyes. He sighed, avoiding her worried eyes before deciding on speaking. He needed to be careful with this, it was definitely a hard subject to discuss.

"You — you uh," He scratched behind his ears some more, gazing at her face and then dropping his eyes, "you told me about Jimin."

She can only sigh defeatedly; God just wasn't on her side these days. She didn't even want to know anymore, she knew she probably spilled more than what was remotely appropriate for his ears to hear. She bites her lip and nods embarrassingly, but somewhat relieved — at least it was just Hoseok. He would do nothing with the information for his own benefit, much less ramble onto someone else. He was a good friend, this wouldn't escape from between the both of them, that she knew.

She stared blankly at an anxious Hoseok who was wondering how she'd react; he was sure it'd contrast greatly from her tears from the night before. To his surprise, though, she just silently sat before she sighed, "Well."

Hoseok noted her discomfort and decides not to go more into the matter and instead offers her breakfast; there was no way she wasn't hungry. But Rosalie just slumps her shoulders and declines quietly.

"Can you please just take me home? I'm not really in the mood to eat anything." Even the mere mention of her husband drained her. and at the sound of her voice and the tug of her pleading eyes, Hoseok almost obliges and takes her home. But he remembers that she hasn't eaten and was drunk off of her mind last night, and the suggestion is quickly eschewed from his mind.

"Yeah sure," he nods, pulling her up slowly. "I'll take you home." Rosalie thanks him and follows him out of his room, blinking furiously when he promptly places her in an already prepared chair at his dining table, a bowl of cereal in front of her. she looks up at him and he looks down at her,

"After you eat something."

After a fulfilling breakfast of a hearty bowl of classic cheerios with sugar — the dish made her feel like an absolute child, but hoseok was too tired to cook something and she simply had no more fight in her — Hoseok was dropping her back home. She eventually broke and asked him all what happened yesterday, so the car ride was filled with cringes and sheer disappointment in her drunk self when she learned about the crying and the embarrassment she put not only herself but also Hoseok through. One thing that sober rosie and drunk Rosie both agreed on, however, was that they would definitely still be going to that gala.

As drunk Rosalie said herself: she had things to do.

When hoseok's car pulls into Rosalie's driveway, she turns to him, smiling shyly.

"Um," she awkwardly laughs, "Thanks for dealing with me last night. I know I'm not easy, and God I'm so sorry I called-" a warm hug interrupts her words, his arms engulfing her frame snugly.

"You talk too much, Rosie," he giggles. "You're fine. Don't apologize, okay? I told you that I’ve got you, right?" He switched to english mid sentence, knowing she broke into a smile without having to look at her.

"Right, Hobi," she said.

He patted her back soothingly, "Exactly. I'm here for you, we aren't friends for nothing." He released her, sitting back comfortably into his seat, feeling pretty good about himself. His hugs were great.

Rosalie nodded, her hand sitting upon the door handle. "You're right. but still — sorry for being such a crybaby."

Hoseok just waved her off dismissively, "don't worry. Get in safe, okay?" He was going to watch her go in anyway, but he wanted to tell her too; letting her know that he cared as subtly as he could. When she finally waved her goodbye and left his car, cool air wisps across her face, waking her up and opening her eyes. Her day was far from over.

As she entered her home, it was still empty and awkwardly so; she remembered that Haeran was still with her father and she had told him not to drop her off until 10. Her arms wrap around herself as she walks through her halls instinctively, she was almost uncomfortable being so alone, without her child or her partner to welcome her home.

She shakes it off. It was something she'd need to get used to now, since she was kind of in the dark about what to do: forgive and remember, or move on and forget?

Her reflection in the mirror proves that Hoseok was more of a good friend than rosalie thought; she looked horrible. Her extremely tussled hair and deep eye bags must've shown him the face of a damn zombie and he didn't utter one discouraging word about it. Well, in reality she didn't know if he was a good friend for letting her be, or a bad one for not at least telling her to get herself together. She went with the former to make her feel better about herself.

After deciding that she'd rather not peer at her distasteful reflection until her daughter came home to see her, she bent down and committed to washing her dry face and brushing her teeth. When she finished doing that, she stripped herself of her clothing and hopped into the shower; in an attempt to cleanse herself of the rummaging thoughts filling her mind one by one. She dreaded what the rest of the day had in store, but she wouldn't dare regret facing it anyway. She focuses on cleaning her body, then, pushing her plaguing mind to the back burner.

Her hair drapes down her back as moisture serenades it with a delicate touch; and she sighs. The scalding water against her back simply never felt better.

20 minutes later, she was fresh in some clean clothes that didn't reek of soju and runny tears, but a breathable, randomly thrown together outfit and a hairtie holding her hair into the air as it dried and some vaseline across her dehydrated lips; she simply did not have the time to worry about blow drying at the moment. She occupied her time before her daughter's arrival with cleaning anything she deemed to be dirty, removing things she saw were out of place, and reading her records of recipes out of boredom. She felt out of place, out of the ordinary. like she was touring someone else's home instead of her own. She absolutely loathed those feelings and tried her hardest to ignore them.

Then her doorbell rang.

The walk to that door could've been mirrored almost to a walk of shame; she's never had to do this before. Ever. Never in her lifetime would she have thought that she'd have to open her home's door to her husband with her consent, and not have him come in with open arms because this was obviously where he belonged. Because this was his home too.

She looks through the peephole to see where her daughter was directed so she knew where to divert her primary attention to. She was on the right — well, Rosalie's left. Jimin was holding her in his arm with ease, with her bag in his other hand. Then she opened the door, with the doorknob cool against her fingertips and not the least bit inviting.

Her expression was a delighted one when she turned to her daughter, not even acknowledging Jimin. Haeran squealed with happiness upon seeing her mother, undoubtedly welcoming her with an open hug from in Jimin's hold and thus transferring to her mother's, with her arms around her neck. Her cheeks were warm, and the messiest of buns sat atop her small head.

Rosalie kissed Haeran's cheeks multiple times, making her giggle, asking, "Did you have fun?"

Jimin watched his daughter nod with earnest as he leaned against the outside of the doorframe opposite of Rosalie.

“Yeah, mommy, we went to the beach and I got seaweed in my hair and daddy washed it all out," she chirped, purposely leaving out what they discussed at the beach, and subtly looked over to her father and nodded, as if she was telling him that their secret was safe with her. It was a secret mission as Jimin called it.

"Did you miss Haeranie?" Haeran asked, her hands on Rosalie's mouth. "You missed me right? I missed you mommy." Her head rested in the crook of Rosie's neck as Jimin watched in awe. He really missed this.

"Of course," Rosie hummed, "mommy missed Haeran so so so much!" And it was true. If there was anyone who motivated her to find it in her to keep pushing on, it was her daughter. Whether she was aware if it or not, she was a very valuable anchor to rosalie's mental state. Because she's her baby. Her everything. She could never be away from her for so long.

"Good." Rosalie and Jimin both laughed them at Haeran's bluntness, but the laughter died almost as soon as it came. The sound had an uncomfortable familiarity to it.

"Haeranie," Rosalie whispered, "go upstairs okay? I'll be up in a minute." Her eyes unintentionally locked with Jimin's then, and she moved them away from him as Haeran nodded and slid from her arms.

"Okay mommy!" She quickly eschewed her shoes at the door and waddled up the stairs, and Rosalie watched until the last stair was conquered before she turned to him. Haeran didn't even bid her father goodbye, because she honestly thought he'd follow behind her later with her mommy.

Cold eyes met anxious ones when she looked at him. Saying nothing, she reached out her arm and waited for Jimin to drape the bag across it. He does so hesitantly, careful not to make any actual contact with her body. When she has the bag, she moves to step back into the house and attempts at closing the door, but Jimin quickly puts his foot between it.

"Wait," he begs. her eyes are fierce and unforgiving, but he tries anyway. "Please." She swallows, motioning for him to go on.

"What, Jimin?" She cannot meet his eyes. It would only cause the tight wall she forced in between them to come crashing down with ease.

This was no time to stutter, no time to choke on words. "The gala . . " He says, almost feeling stupid for even suggesting it, "are you-"

"Five o'clock." That was all she needed to say for him to understand. She would be picked up at 5 — not a minute before or after.

He nodded, about to leave, but he stalled in case she had something else to say. The door wasn't being slammed in his face as he expected; instead it seemed as if she was just searching for the words to say.

He was right.

"Wait," she said softly. She looked up to him, her left hand gripping the doorknob tightly and her lips slightly parted. Rosalie swore to herself she wouldn't make efforts to give him the time of day, but damn it, she just . . broke. Despite it all, she couldn't help but care.

"W-where are you staying?"

He took in a deep breath, unconsciously roaming his hands through his hair and sighing. Rosalie wished he wouldn't do that. It just reminded her of how things used to be, when he'd lay in he lap after a long day and beg her to play in his hair to lull him to sleep. She's able to get a better look at him now, he was dressed in simple clothes, his hair was slightly disheveled and oily, his stance was so guarded and his eyes were so tired.

But he did this to himself.

"A hotel not too far from here. It's fine. Don't worry." She definitely didn't need to be told twice. She simply turned around and shut the door.

He had wanted to say something to her before he left though. Have a nice day, I'm sorry.

Better yet: I love you.

But the right words never find their way to him.

Nothing new.

She tries her hardest to be engaging with her daughter, she really does. But her mind is occupied heavily, and Haeran's continuous mommy mommy mommy's weren't making anything any easier. The emptiness eats away at her, searching for her whenever it seems she'll be okay for a few moments. Rosalie couldn't catch a break, and it had her wondering: why? Why does she bother putting herself through all of this, why does she bother to be cordial, and respectful, and hopeful? Why not say to hell with it all and damn everything she set her eyes upon in a burning rage?

A heavy sigh emits from her body. Because she was grown. And she'd handle this the only way she knew how.

It was just around 3 p.m now, and Haeran was peacefully dozing off after indulging in various activities with her worn mother throughout the day. Peculiarly, she had drifted off on her own, looking under beds and behind doors. She claimed she was looking for something but wouldn't inform her mother on what it was. Rosalie was just glad she had a distraction.

She already picked out a dress; it was a simple burgundy off the shoulder dress with a large split in the side. It still fit her well and she deemed it appropriate for the night ahead of her. But she didn't want to think too much about it until it was time to prepare, so she peacefully dozed off to sleep, thanking god her raging mind withdrew on its attacks for now.

By 4 o'clock she was almost ready; Haeran had welcomed her grandfather of a babysitter into her house with a squeal and open arms, while Rosalie unenthusiastically applied makeup. Haeran and her father were having many various conversations with the topic shifting quickly, and all Rosalie could do was be thankful her father was the patient type. Her reflection in the mirror showed her exactly what she expected — her eyes were bright, but hollow and empty.

As she descended down her stairs minutes before 5, Haeran perked up and looked in her direction with questions leaving her mouth before Rosalie even had time to process them; whatever her and her grandfather were discussing was immediately forgotten.

"Mommy?" She asked, turning her body on her grandfather's lap to face her, "Where are you going? You look pretty." She pouted as her mother finally entered the living room, searching for her heels.

"Thank you baby," she said, slipping her feet into some pumps, "I'm going to a little get-together with daddy, okay? I won't be long Haeranie, I promise." She walked over to kiss her daughter's forehead and ruffle her hair.

Haeran's face lit up with a smile at the mention of her father; he found it! "Okay mommy!" She laughed. "You'll be with daddy, again." And you'll be happy now.

"Yes, I'll be with daddy," Rosalie cooed, trying not to frown at her words. She looked up to her dad.

"You'll be okay here, daddy? Won't let Haeranie tire you out, right?" She joked. Her dad rolled his eyes and teased her for even asking.

"Stop making me feel old, Rosie June. Now go on, girl," he shoo'd her away, and she laughed and kissed his head too, telling him not to wait up for her.

It was going to be a long night.

Jimin arrived exactly at 5, as she told him to. He was dressed in a crisp tux and a stony expression as he greeted her and opened her car door. He was nervous, and obviously so, but Rosalie couldn't care less about that. His shaking hands didn't phase her in the slightest.

"You-you look great," he said awkwardly.

"I know." She picked up her dress from the ground and stepped inside.

Jimin tried not to make eye contact, knowing she'd be upset, but it was so hard. And he had so many questions. Why was she doing this? What convinced her to go despite all he put her through? It confused him, but he didn't dare ask. He just keeps his eyes on the road.

"We're only going to be there for an hour," Rosalie says, her eyes never drifting to where he sat. "And don't touch me. At all." She couldn't hide the venom in her voice if she tried.

He couldn't help but peer at now, simply at a loss for words as she continued to look out her window, avoiding him expertly. He swallows, and speaks quietly like a child who was just scolded by their mother.

"Okay."

The ride is short and silent. The area the ceo and his wife picked out was a convenient 15 minute drive away from the firm itself. The room was beautiful, Rosalie wouldn't dare lie; and whoever decorated did a fantastic job. It was like she was immersed in a fairytale, even if she felt nothing like Cinderella. A large chandelier stood high and mighty in the middle of the main floor, and behind that were the doors to the entrance of the main hall. Rosalie and Jimin were fashionably late; the gathering was already in full swing with smiling faces greeting each other and conversing.

To be honest, Rosalie really adored the Choi firm. They were honest people, and so were their employees, they were one of the few firms that weren't so corrupt and filled with greed; as many others often seemed like they didn't exactly care for those they were aiding, they just anticipated the pretty coin. The Chois weren't like that.

Choi Yoona, the ceo's wife, greeted Rosalie as she entered, rushing over to her with a saccharine smile. "Rosalie, darling, you made it." She was as graceful as she was kind, wearing a sleek black evening gown that exposed her left shoulder. Her short hair accented the dress exquisitely.

Rosalie bowed respectfully to the woman, before saying, "thank you for the invite, miss. It's beautiful what you've done to this place, your decoration skills are unmatched." The two continued to compliment the other before Yoona noticed Jimin standing quite awkwardly near,

"Oh my goodness!" She said, putting a hand near her mouth. "Excuse me, Jimin, I'm so sorry," she shook off her displeasure, "I didn't even see you." And Rosalie didn't bother to mention him.

"It's fine," Jimin bowed, smiling as well, "Rosie's the star here, anyway." He giggled and turned to her, waiting for her to play along.

"Well," she said, feigning timidity, "Already trying to butter me up aren't you?" She smiled back at him, but it didn't reach her eyes.

Who she was really looking for was Hoseok, he said he'd be here, and she had yet to see him arrive. Eventually she and Jimin separated, with him going off to talk to Namjoon and a few other close workers, and her to the table of desserts. The only people she knew comfortably were Yoona, Namjoon and Hoseok, and two out of those three were unavailable. She'd talk to Namjoon without Jimin, she didn't want to pretend any longer with him as if this was a poorly written script of a lifetime movie.

And hoseok came, eventually. His tux was gray instead of the traditional black, and his hair was styled to perfection and his stride was confident as he noticed her. He engulfed her in a hug before she could fully register him being there, and a yelp emits from her in surprise.

"Sorry I'm late," Hoseok said, releasing her. "I just couldn't figure out what to wear." He looked down at his clothing considerably.

He looked back up Rosalie, "you look great though." He tilted his head to the side slightly as he examined her. He did it so seriously with a tone change that was almost comical.

So at that, rosalie had to laugh. It was the first time a laugh genuinely came from her that entire night, and it didn't escape the attention of Jimin, who was conversing with Namjoon as they watched his wife giggle to herself with a wine glass held by her shoulder.

"Why thank you Hobi," she giggled out. "You cleaned up nicely as well, as always." Hoseok smiled, happy to see her in a better mood.

"That's how I like me. How're you doing? Where's Jimin?" He looked around discreetly until he found him before she could answer; Jimin was still looking at the two skeptically before Namjoon took his attention again.

Hoseok sighed. "Found him."

Namjoon's hand rested on Jimin's shoulder, shaking it some to gain his attention. "Hey, look here."

For some reason, Jimin couldn't take his eyes off Hoseok being near Rosalie, which puzzled Namjoon, because they were close before Jimin even entered the firm. Hoseok was one of Rosalie's closest friends. But Namjoon had to remember the recent events in Jimin's life; and how they affected everything now. Jimin's infidelities came with consequences, and Namjoon wouldn't let him forget it.

Jimin released his gaze reluctantly, "what?"

Namjoon sucked in a breath, removing his hand. "Don't start. You know you don't even have the right." Jimin looked like he was about to jump to his own defense, but diffused quickly upon realizing that Namjoon was right.

Jimin sighed, leaning on a nearby pillar. "I know. It may be hard to believe, but I can't wrap my mind around this any better than you can. A couple of weeks ago, we were joined at the hip. And now we're playing pretend," he scoffed.

And who's fault do you think that is? "It is crazy, I won't even lie," Namjoon said, sipping his own wine, "I almost didn't believe you when you told me about what happened."

And that was true. Jimin had told him the day Rosalie confronted him, sweating and as if he had just ran a mile.

I did something horrible, he had said. I may have just broken my family and it's all my fault. Tears flowed from his eyes as he slumped down on Namjoon's porch before Namjoon finally wore off his shock and invited him inside for a drink. Once inside, he broke down and told him every last detail. Somethings Namjoon wished he didn't know.

Jimin's eyes couldn't focus on one thing and he was getting a headache from thinking so much here. He pushed himself slightly off the pilar, "I'm gonna go to the bathroom." Namjoon nodded and watched him walk quickly towards the nearest restroom, wondering how in the hell was his friend supposed to fix the dilemma he just threw himself into.

Once in the bathroom, Jimin clutched the sink's marble stone, looking into the mirror. He didn't know what to do then; being there with everyone watching, and him watching Hoseok and Rosalie probably hating the ground he walked on was just so overwhelming, and he just needed to hold himself together until they took their leave.

"damn it, jimin," he swore, biting his lip. "how could you?"

"Funny. That's exactly what I said." A new voice entered the bathroom. Jimin looked up in shock; it was Hoseok's voice. he stood by the door, his hands were in his pockets and his eyes rather indifferent, but there was a hardness in them that couldn't be ignored.

"What?" Jimin asks, narrowing his eyes.

Hoseok shrugged, walking up to him. "How could Jimin of all people, cheat on Rosalie? It's one of those more baffling life questions, isn't it? Wondering how someone you thought you knew so well, considered a brother, hurt someone else that they love like that. You know?" He was very close to Jimin now, who was unresponsive.

All he could do was stare blankly, licking his dried lips. She told him? He knew something was off that night. Of course she told him. Jimin decided he couldn't just stand there and allow himself to he cornered; he needed to say something.

He swallowed nervously, and how did Hoseok get so close? "Hoseok I-?" He searched for the right words, "I know I made a mistake, but-"

"Yeah," Hoseok laughed menacingly, "a mistake. One that should've never happened in the first place." He scowled before laughing, "But will say this.Your first mistake was the cheat, of course."

He leaned in closer, lowering his voice to where he was almost whispering, "but did you ever consider how much you've played her for the fool that she isn't? Did the thought ever once cross your mind? and if so, why didn't it ever cease? Because it seems to me, Park Jimin, that you've done all of this to yourself. And all you're doing now is suffering the consequences; reaping what you've sowed."

He chuckled darkly, “so stop looking at Rosalie across the dancehall like you’re crazy. She’s uncomfortable.”

He leaned back then, patting Jimin on his shoulder mockingly. "But you know what they say," he smiled at him. "You live, and you learn, right?"

Jimin's jaw clenched as he listened to Hoseok speak. You live and you learn, right?

"Yeah. Right, Hoseok." As embarrassing as it was, he just stood quietly and let Hoseok say what he needed to. This wasn't the time nor the place to allow anything else. Hoseok smiled again before releasing himself from Jimin's personal space.

"Exactly. Enjoy the rest of your night, Jimin." he cut his eyes to the ground and then left as swiftly as he entered. He followed him in there for a reason, and he was glad it had been fulfilled. Those words had been begging to escape him since he heard Rosalie's drunken slurs over the phone.

As soon as he left, Jimin punched the marble sink so he could just feel something. Jimin wanted to fucking scream, anything to express some type of feeling for the utter mess he's put himself through. He was glad no one else was in the bathroom to view his misery. He wanted to go home. He wanted to embrace wife and daughter at home, where he belonged to them and they belonged to him. He wanted to cry, to weep, but just stood there hopelessly instead, because no sound left his lungs.

Jimin just wanted to wake up from this nightmare.

#soo... hoseok had some words #what did you think??#jimin angst #jimin fic #jimin #jimin ambw #cheating!jimin au #hoseok fic #hoseok ambw #hoseok #bts #bts fic #bts fanfction #bts ambw #kpop fanfiction #kpop poc

73 notes · View notes

some-far-far-away-land · 8 years ago

Text

Chesca’s Current Status

This weekend was amazing and gave me so much happiness, something I feel like I haven’t been in a long time. You know that the rest of this post is gonna explain why lol

So earlier last week I heard that a friend was selling tickets to the Alex Aiono and William Singe concert that I had been eyeing since like I think December or January, whenever they had released their tour dates. I was debating about it but by the time I decided tickets sold out already. So when I heard about my friend selling her ticket, the whole week I thought about it. I told her I’d tell her by Friday night. The week goes by and I was still debating, I was pretty broke and i knew if I went I would spend a lot of money on like getting there and back, and then food, and subway. What actually made me decide was that after class friday Nat Jose and I went for coffee with our old Don and I mentioned I was debating in going to toronto for this concert and Nat was like, “yo, lets go, i need a getaway and celebrate finishing design.” Plus Nellie was throwing a late bday party for Paul Saturday but I knew that Lisa would be there and that Thavi could potentially be there too. I honestly just didn’t want another repeat of gfx. I wouldn’t have been comfortable and I didn’t want that to translate on a celebration. Plus thinking about being in the same room as those two made me really anxious. I mean I know I didn’t do anything wrong but its the bad vibes and negativity I know those two people have for me that would make me uncomfortable. I mean if you had a choice I think you would choose a weekend in toronto by yourself, going on a few dates and going to see one of you favourite Youtube singers live, over a few hours of not knowing how to act around two people who use to be the closest people in your life who have now come to hate you for who know what reasons?

So yea after a night of drinking and dancing at Phil’s with Nat, Jon, and Jose, which by the way was super fun because of the drunken talks and the company. Nat and I ventured off to Toronto Saturday morning. We went and got Pho in Chinatown, and then went to Eaton’s to shop and pick up some stuff. We ate there and didn’t go to Celene and Abby’s place till around 6pm. Funny story about where we ate for dinner. We went to the like cafeteria type place. I went to the coffee and pastry section since I was still full from Pho. I got an iced latte with a cheesecake. While I was in line, there was a hella rude customer who was on his phone telling the guy behind the counter (who was pretty cute btw) that he wanted more syrup on his waffle. He was also waiting for his drink and when the girl called it out he didn’t think it was his, when it clearly was. When he had left the cute guy behind the counter and another co-worker who I realized were filipino started talking about how rude he was. I listened and laughed cuz I know their struggles too and when the guy gave me my drink i smiled and said Salamat, and he was thrown off by it and he smiled back and I went on my merry way.

Conversation with Nat was pretty good, we go pretty deep into my stuff, just with dating again and how I had been feeling the past few weeks. After that we went back and I redid my make up and taxied to the venue. I thought I was gonna be late but the show didn’t start till 8pm, line just started to move at 7pm. We get into the venue and its just standing so no seats. Its pretty packed and it was cold in there. I was supposed to meet up with my friend Jezeth but she was in the middle and I couldn’t find her so I just chilled where I was. When alex came out I had an amazing view of him, like most of the people there were girls who were with their girl friends or girls with their boyfriends, plus most of the people were asian so they were all shorter then me all I had to do was tippy toe a bit and I could see alex so well! The girls I ended up standing with and eventually befriending were super fun! They were drinking too so their vibes were legit and we danced and fangirled the whole time together!

So let me talk about Alex, this man, omg he was so much cuter in person, his smile 10x warmer and his voice.... like fuck me, lol Like I thought that it wouldn’t sound as good as his videos but honestly he sounded exactly the same, even better live actually. I could listen to this man sing and play guitar for hours! I totally jus vibed out during his set, really took in the moment and just enjoyed being in the same space as him. *sigh* his gf is so lucky! lol

So after Alex it was obviously William and I only knew him from the songs he and Alex collabed together on. I honestly was not prepared, like this man, was sooooo good live, like his falsetto is on point, his covers were amazing! I love his style, his r&b swag and even his original songs... man. He got me feeling feels too. A little bit into his set my phone died and I actually am so glad it did. I really jus experienced the night and really enjoyed myself without worrying about getting things on camera. I just lived in the moment. I was just so happy and loving life. Alex ended up coming back later on and they sang the songs they did together and I almost died, like I felt like I went to heaven lol

After the concert, which ended around 10:30pm I decided to walk back, well partially. I had to find a place that was open where I could charge my phone. So I went the Tims on College and Yonge. Stayed there for a bit and then took the street car to Abby’s place. Decided to get BK cuz i was hungry and then waited for Nat to come back since she went to go and hangout with Jack while I was at the concert. When she got back we talked a bit before we went to bed. I let her sleep on the bed and I took the ground, which wasn’t bad actually.

So we wake up and we originally planned on having brunch with Jack and Bri but Jack was too sick and Bri’s schedule was too busy so we went for lunch with Celene, her man, and Abby. The place we went to was near Koreatown and we ate at this cute restaurant that had the best eggs benedict I’ve every had in my life. I go mine with baby spinach and the home fries was covered in this sauce and like i died! The conversation was good too and it was nice hanging out with friends. It was such a beautiful day too! Like the nicest day of the year so far I think. I mean I didn’t wear a coat and walked around the whole day. after lunch nat and i walked around koreatown, got my favourite fish dessert and just chilled. She had a carpool a 5pm since she was having dinner with her roomies so she went back first. I actually had a date for that afternoon but he cancelled saying he had worked out too hard in the morning and pretty much felt sick. I wasn’t too bummed about it since I still got to hangout with my friends and eat good food. We’ve been having good conversations on facebook and he seemed sad we couldn’t hangout, but its okay things happen for a reason.

When nat left I went for a bbt date with this guy I had been talking too for a week now. He was Korean and was actually pretty nice and sweet. Like physically he was okay but conversation was nice and he spoke english pretty well despite only living in Korea until like 4 months ago. He was super sweet and even walked me to my subway. it was cute date, i’d talk to him again lol

I was supposed to meet up with other friends for dinner but they cancelled last minute because something came up. Another guy I’ve been talking to for a week asked if I was free to grab dinner since he wanted to see me while I was still in town. I said yes of course, and we ended up getting dim sum in Chinatown and it was honestly sooooo good! This guy is filipino and he’s one of the ones I enjoy talking to via text all week so i was excited to meet him. He was actually so much better looking in person and his voice, sounds so nice. Like its deep and he has a filipino accent which I didn’t think i’d like but I totally did. Our conversation was so good and i just felt comfortable with him. after dim sum he offered to subway with me all the way to yonge and sheppard. thats like 30 mins on the subway. My carpool was at 10:30 so we went to the meet up spot and the carpool cancels last minute! At first I was annoyed and furious cuz now I’m stuck here till tmrw morning. But what happened after made up for it.

We subway back to Abby’s place and then we decided that we wanted to walk around for a bit. guys, we ended up walking 3 km together. We went down beverley st. all the way to queen st. down john st., past front st. and all he way down to the harbourfront. We sat by the water for 30 mins, just talking about life, relationships, school, etc. The spontaneous nature of the whole night was something I honestly have never done before. Probably one of the best first dates I’ve had. we ended up walking up spadina from the rogers centre and made a full circle back to Abby’s place. We walked for 3 hrs almost. When we said our goodbyes he hugged me so tight and I was gonna kiss him on the cheek but i ended up giving him a peck on the lips, and then he hugged me again and then this time he kissed me and then just walked away all shy like. It was so cute and like the best way to end my night.

I went to sleep around 2am I think. Woke up at noon, and went and got starbucks with celene and her man. Then took a go train to bramalea and then a bus to kitchener go, then the 8 bus to asian grocery, then walked to campus and made it for the 5pm meeting. We then set up at 6pm for our event, and then EOT was at 7PM-10PM.

So that was my weekend getaway with myself. Honestly I’m so happy I decided to go away, even though now i’m hella broke, it was so worth it. I mean like I finally know what I want to do and what I’m gonna tell my parents my plan is. This weekend gave me motivation to get my shit together and just go after what I want to do and what I want to pursue. I swear I’m meant to live in Toronto and based of the events of this weekend I feel like in my gut its where I’m supposed to be.

I plan on going back in 2 weeks, after I’ve made some money and you know finished school stuff lol

#personal #current status #toronto #alex aiono #william singe #toronto adventures #weekend getaway #me time #happiness #things happen for a reason

0 notes

kartiavelino · 6 years ago

Text

The secret dark side to the classic ‘Mary Poppins’

Removed from being virtually good in each manner, Julie Andrews as soon as put a bumper sticker on her automobile which mentioned: “Mary Poppins Is A Junkie.” It was a jokey, failed bid to banish the sugary-sweet fame she had been caught with due to the function — but when she had really instructed the reality behind the classic film, she might need succeeded. The actress shocked the kids in the movie together with her swearing and by smoking on set — whereas co-star Dick Van Dyke was an alcoholic who struggled with suicidal ideas at the same time as he danced round singing “Chim Chim Cher-ee.” In the meantime, the author of the authentic Poppins novels was at conflict with the movie’s producer Walt Disney, obsessive about the occult, dogged by claims of racism and accused of ruining the lifetime of her adoptive son. Later Matthew Garber, who performed the joyous younger Michael Banks in the 1964 box-office smash, died tragically at the age of 21 after contracting hepatitis in India. Regardless of all of it, the 1964 movie stays a beloved household favourite — and a sequel, “Mary Poppins Returns,” opened on December 21 starring Emily Blunt as the carpet bag-toting nanny. Karen Dotrice, now 63, who performed younger Jane Banks in the first movie, is just not shocked at its treasured standing. She says that regardless of what went on backstage, the complete forged realized they had been concerned in one thing particular. Andrews, Dick Van Dyke, Karin Dotrice, and Matthew Garber in “Mary Poppins.”Walt Disney Studios She mentioned: “We began to really feel like one huge household and that we had been all making one thing enjoyable collectively that felt actually magical.” However she nonetheless remembers her shock as an eight-year-old at seeing Andrews, then 28, in full prim Edwardian nanny get-up — with a cigarette and exchanging blue language with the crew. Dotrice added: “There was swearing. Julie Andrews was smoking on set. It was a really actual 1960s set, I can let you know. They had been well mannered round minors to start with, however that quickly ended.” Van Dyke has admitted that he was an alcoholic at the time enjoying chimney sweep Bert, and would flip up for shoots affected by the night time earlier than. The actor mentioned: “I might go to work with horrible hangovers, which in the event you’re dancing is absolutely arduous.” Van Dyke, 37 at the time of filming and now 92, additionally revealed booze led him into dark bouts of melancholy, revealing: “I used to be in serious trouble, you get suicidal and assume you simply can’t go on.” Nonetheless, he doesn’t blame booze for the most notorious a part of his efficiency, the Cockney voice which nonetheless tops lists as the worst accent in the historical past of cinema. For that, he blames, amongst others, Andrews. He as soon as defined: “I used to be working with a forged of virtually all Brits and neither Julie nor anybody else ever mentioned, ‘You realize, you ought to work on that accent.’” Van Dyke’s accent is extensively cited as one among the worst in cinema historical past.Walt Disney Studios In the meantime, he was nicely conscious that on the sidelines, P.L. Travers — the author of the Poppins books — was not pleased with the casting of both himself or his co-star. He has mentioned: “She hated Julie and she or he hated me.” In actual fact — as described in the 2013 movie about the making of the film, “Saving Mr. Banks” — Travers hated just about the whole lot to do with the adaptation, which went on to win 5 Oscars. For 20 years she had despatched Walt Disney packing each time he had tried to purchase the rights to her tales — and when she lastly gave in, she regretted it bitterly. Her personal Poppins character, who first appeared in a novel in 1934, was chilly, intimidating and given to making pronouncements with “a superior sniff.” And but right here the nanny was, candy, smiling, lovey-dovey and dancing with animated penguins. She noticed it as an insult. After the premiere, Travers instructed Walt Disney, “All the animation has to go,” not realizing it was too late. The mogul put her proper, saying: “Pamela, the boat has sailed.” Travers obtained her revenge by refusing him permission to make a sequel — even reportedly specifying in her will that “no Individuals shall ever be granted permission to work on a Poppins venture ever once more.” P.L. Travers apparently hated the scene when Van Dyke danced with animated penguins.Walt Disney Studios She died in 1996 — and Disney is now behind the new movie, with the approval of her property. Mockingly, the film was a ardour for Disney and the books a ardour for Travers for the identical motive — troubled childhoods. Dotrice instructed The Solar: “P.L. Travers’ father was nasty to her. Walt Disney had a horrible relationship together with his father.” The mogul noticed the story as a fantasy about kids reworking a merciless father — like his personal — right into a loving one. In consequence, he modified the character of Mr. Banks from the kindly one in the books to chilly and distant. And his painful reminiscences of being an sad youngster — compelled to stand up at 4:30 a.m. to ship newspapers in the snow — additionally made him decided to deal with the youngster stars in Poppins nicely. Dotrice recalled: “I realized the motive why Uncle Walt was so good to me and my household is as a result of he didn’t need one other eight-year-old to have the s—-y experiences he’d had.” Travers had seen the character of Mr. Banks as an opportunity to carry again the financial institution supervisor dad she had idolized however who had died of alcoholism when she was seven. She was appalled that he was now being made right into a villain. Born Helen Goff in the wilds of Queensland in 1899, Travers moved to England aged 25. Walt Disney Studios And regardless of creating the quintessentially correct character of Mary Poppins, her life was very unconventional by the requirements of the day. She loved romantic relationships with each women and men. For ten years she lived with Madge Burnand, the daughter of the editor of Punch — who as soon as took a photograph of Travers cavorting topless on an Italian seashore. Travers later fell in love with the poet Francis McNamara, an Irishman who as soon as knowledgeable the creator: “Mary Poppins, together with her cool, inexperienced core of intercourse, has me enthralled endlessly.” Single once more by the age of 40, Travers adopted a child boy known as Camillus from a big, struggling household in Eire. What Camillus didn’t discover out till he was 17 was that he had a twin brother, Anthony, who Travers had not wished to look after regardless of his mother and father begging her to take them each. On studying the reality he went off consuming together with his sibling, a behavior that was to become crippling alcoholism for each of them. Camillus died in 2011 from the results of his dependancy. The boys’ oldest brother, Joseph Hone, mentioned: “I don’t assume Travers was match to carry up kids.” She had reportedly chosen Camillus as the twin for her on the recommendation of her astrologer — and later turned an increasing number of obsessed by the stars, the occult and mysticism.” Walt Disney Studios The reputation of Travers’ books pale over the years as racism in them turned unacceptable — particularly the surprising descriptions of black Individuals. In distinction, these concerned in the movie proceed to thrive on their associations with the smash hit. Andrews, 83 — a stage star when she gained the function — turned a sensation, touchdown the Finest Actress Oscar and her half in “The Sound Of Music.” She is now a dame. Van Dyke overcame his demons and have become one among the most acquainted faces on US tv. Dotrice continued appearing till the age of 24, then determined: “I might moderately simply get married and grow to be a mother and that was that.” Tragically, Garber, who performed her brother Michael, solely made it to the age of 21. Regardless of rumors that medication performed a component in contracting the hepatitis that killed him after a visit to India, his household insisted it was brought on by consuming dangerous meat. He and Dotrice had been an ideal crew, engaged on different movies collectively as kids. She mentioned: “We had a fantastic childhood. We made three movies collectively.” “I want he was right here to give these feedback too.” Share this: https://nypost.com/2018/12/25/the-secret-dark-side-to-the-classic-mary-poppins/ The post The secret dark side to the classic ‘Mary Poppins’ appeared first on My style by Kartia. https://www.kartiavelino.com/2018/12/the-secret-dark-side-to-the-classic-mary-poppins.html

0 notes

sinceileftyoublog · 6 years ago

Text

Night Shop Interview: Beautiful Strangers

Photo by Kevin Gossett

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“Drummer releases a solo album” is the type of thing that you classically joke about, but if anyone’s proving that angle to be exciting, it’s Justin Sullivan, who records as Night Shop. If you’ve listened to The Babies or Kevin Morby’s records, you’ve heard Sullivan behind the kit. On In The Break, out today via Woodsist/Mare Records (the latter is Morby’s label), he sings and plays guitar, too.

Night Shop’s self-titled debut EP was released last February, and Sullivan wrote the songs for Break during the latter half of 2017. It was recorded in a studio in Burbank early February with help from many familiar faces: guitarist Meg Duffy of Hand Habits and Morby’s band, guitarist Will Ivy of Flat Worms (Sullivan drums for Flat Worms), Greta Morgan on piano, Anna St. Louis on vocals, Jarvis Taveniere (Woods) on bass, guitar, and engineering, and Drew Fischer on mixing duties. “It’s one of the few benefits of getting older,” Sullivan told me in July over the phone. “Your gang of friends is really talented.” Indeed, though the music of Night Shop embodies classic folk rock, the matter in which it came together is punk. “All of this stuff for me goes back to real core DIY punk principles,” Sullivan said. “Even though it doesn’t look or sound like that, it’s the same ethic.” In essence, Sullivan’s started a band with his friends, just like in high school.

Over the past year, Sullivan’s toured solo with Jaye Bartell, and he’s currently on tour with Waxahatchee and St. Louis. He then shares dates with Shannon Lay, including October 10th at Empty Bottle. “Playing solo wasn’t necessary the original idea,” he said. “It’s funny to have two elements-- I can’t really play the guitar, and I don’t have the greatest voice in the world. It’s funny to present the two elements on stage. Neither are 10/10. But I do feel comfortable getting up and playing at this point because I’ve done it for so long.” Despite the ethical commonality, Night Shop is still very different than something like Flat Worms from a musical standpoint. “There’s something really nice about getting up and playing quiet music,” Sullivan said.

Read the rest of my interview with Sullivan, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: How long has Night Shop been around?

Justin Sullivan: It feels really new. I probably didn’t even pick up a guitar to actually learn how to play till 2015. I probably wrote the songs that came out on the EP in late 2016. Having just played in so many bands in drums for so long, I was very concerned with songs. I always saw myself as someone to help shape the songs rather than just play drums. It’s kind of a weird combination. When I was younger, I would sing in bands, and I’d always write lyrics for a lot of my early bands. So some of it feels like stuff I’ve been doing for a long time, but some of it feels really new.

SILY: Did you help craft songs with Kevin Morby and The Babies?

JS: Yeah. That was always my thing. When I started playing with Kevin and Cassie [Ramone of The Babies]--they’re just such good songwriters--sometimes, what’s needed is no more additions. With Kevin, my role was often to be a cheerleader for his ideas. I’d be so excited to just work on the songs. A lot of times, though, what the songwriter needs is someone to be like, “No, that’s really good. We should definitely be playing that.”

SILY: Was there something you wanted to communicate about the project or yourself with your debut album?

JS: That’s a good question. Yeah, I think any time someone writes a song or shares a piece of art, they’re trying to communicate something about themselves. What I’ve heard before is that it’s much less direct than, “I want to say this thing about myself.” You’re almost sharing whatever weird thing comes out of the moment of creation rather than having an idea and thinking, “I definitely want to say this about myself.”

I guess it was just the feeling of when you’re doing something by yourself and writing something by yourself, it’s just an extension of whatever weird thoughts and feelings were going through you at the time. The magic of music is you share that moment with someone who hears and connects with it two years later. I love that. It’s really exciting. It’s something that excited me when I was young, and it still does. I think for sure there’s no five-point plan of things I was trying to express. More just a feeling.

SILY: How did the idea for “The One I Love”--the song and video--come to you?

JS: Last summer was a period I didn’t tour for a year, and I always had toured at least once during the calendar year. I took a very defined break from touring. It was a song where I was working from home every day, and I was working on music. It’s the excitement of driving to my local convenience store on a summer night and being really energized but kind of isolated. I wasn’t hanging out, wasn’t going out, didn’t have any romance. It’s the combination of being excited about seeing people in your neighborhood, in your grocery store or convenience store, and then coming home and having this excited feeling but nowhere to bring it. That song was converting the feeling into something when there was nowhere to put it. I got really into being home and got excited about the little things I would see in my neighborhood. The simplicity of that was more exciting to me than traveling around the world--I was super burnt out on that at that point.

There are a lot of feelings in that song. A lot of it is orienting why I make music, where the motivation is, and a lot of it comes from this appreciation and love for people. Romantic love, friendship, familial love--really orienting myself that’s where it’s coming from as opposed to other reasons why people make music.

The video is kind of just trying to create the world of that feeling. It was a very isolated time for me but I was super excited. Sometimes, being a hermit or being isolated has a negative connotation, but it was super energizing for me. I was touring or in the music scene for so long, it was cool to have this period where I was driving through the city alone and going to all these places alone. I was really thrilled by it, and I think it was a good chance to reflect and get some perspective on where I was coming from.

SILY: What’s the story behind “You Are The Beatles”?

JS: Oh, yeah. That to me was a pretty goofy song that I just liked. Kind of like what we were talking about earlier--just trying to share a feeling you had at a time. I was like, “I gotta get rid of that, it’s such a weird song.” [But then] I just sang that line, and thought, “I’d love if I heard a song called ‘You Are The Beatles’.” You’d be like, “What’s this song about?” I used to say that Jonathan Richman was a big influence, but it gets harder and harder to hear that. There are times where the innocence and exuberance of Jonathan Richman songs--it’s almost like rule-breaking how sweet it is. That really appeals to me. I kind of want to make room for things that feel a little silly or completely unmitigated romanticism.

Basically, that song for me is literally a list of influences. Some are a little more buried. It’s also like a way of saying, “I love you. You’re the best. You’re the Beatles.” It’s like writing a love song but talking about the art that meant the most to me and the weird little influences.

SILY: I get what you’re saying with Jonathan Richman. We’re so conditioned to find something that’s darker and deeper and ironic, we think, “There’s something really weird behind this.” You listen to a song like that and think it’s totally sarcastic, but it’s actually radical in the fact that it’s not.

JS: For sure! I was thinking about “That Summer Feeling”, the Jonathan Richman song. It’s one of the darkest, most haunting--it’s so heavy. It’s crushing. I love that sort of paradox. Not to say the one I wrote is like that. It’s just a way of saying, “Well fuck it, that is what I want to say.”

SILY: “Perfect Day” by Lou Reed is like that, too.

JS: Dude! Exactly. I love that stuff. Just smuggling different things into different forms.

SILY: This might be off, but “If You Remember” reminds me a lot of “Via Chicago” by Wilco.

JS: Oh yeah. That’s not off. There was a point where I think I had already recorded and finished it and thought, “Oh, this kind of sounds like that Wilco song.” It’s definitely reminiscent of that song. Hopefully not too much so.

SILY: Not too much. It’s definitely got parts that are different. Just the initial repeated melody. Honestly, that could be an intentional or not intentional choice and it’s a good thing either way. It’s a great song. So is yours.

JS: Thanks, man. I try to spot check down the road to see if it’s anything else. Once it passes that test, it’s good to go. I haven’t thought about this one in a while, but I definitely had that moment where it was reminiscent of that Wilco song. But not so much like other stuff I’ve gotten rid of where I think, “This is just that.”

SILY: Like the stories of people dreaming a melody, waking up in the middle of the night and recording it, and waking up the next day and it’s just a well-known hit song.

JS: I wrote a song yesterday that’s basically Madonna’s “True Blue”. It’s the same thing. I can’t get away from it. It’s “True Blue” with a little Elton John “Crocodile Rock”. They both have that refrain. [sings] “True blue, baby I love you. We’re dancing all night to the crocodile rock.” So I try to get rid of stuff.

SILY: Would you ever keep it around to have it exist for you and some friends even if you don’t release it?

JS: I’m just at this period in my life where I write a song almost every day, or at least a melody, verse, or chorus that’s recorded real quick. So it’s just good to have all of it. Maybe some day things will find a way to rise to the surface. There might be a line from that song that ends up in a different song a year from now, so it’s good I lay it down. I don’t reject things out of hand. I nurture them along because you don’t know how it shows up. I could be in a band 10 years from now and be like, “Actually, if we played that song...”

The biggest thing I see from a lot of people that prevents them from sharing work is that there are 100 different reasons why you can talk yourself out of a song. It sounds too much like this, it’s not what you want to do, it’s too corny, you don’t have the skills to play it right, you don’t have a good voice. I’m really against that ethic. You might as well finish it and furthermore share it. If people don’t respond, you learn from that. But I think what prevents people is finding the reasons why they can’t do something.

SILY: What about the title track made you want to name the album after it?

JS: It’s a weird song but it’s the most representative of the philosophy of the time. It almost feels too literal, where I literally took a break from touring and wrote this record. But it’s not really what I meant from that. I’m really into this idea where moments I really think of in my life are separate from the dominant story of what’s going on at the time. So when you’re on your smoke break from your job--that’s what I remember about the jobs I’ve had. For me, working and then writing music in these off hours or off moments. It’s like when you go to a show and the best moment is when you talk to your friend outside. Just these little cracks I find to be the exciting moments of life. The moments after a show where there’s quiet in the band. Those are just really special moments of reflection and kind of what I remember when I think back to things.

There are moments in romance when you haven’t figured out the story of what’s gonna happen yet. You haven’t literalized everything. That place you first occupy with someone where you don’t know what’s going on but it’s exciting and all you know. Those all came together for me in this way of a really interesting philosophy of life. There are moments where you wouldn’t consider what your life really is. When you’re on tour, those weird moments. There’s something special about them. Or life being defined by this romantic relationship but there are ones less obvious that are really special.

SILY: Tell me about the album art.

JS: I went downtown with my friend Abby Banks who took the photo. I really wanted to capture the sense from “The One I Love”. I really, really love convenience stores and all my diners. Honestly, the grocery store parking lot. These spaces where people are bumping up against each other that are aesthetically nondescript but very comforting. I guess I just wanted to get to that energy of feeling very isolated and alone but all the more appreciative of the energy of these communal places where different types of people come in and out. There’s an equalizing factor. There’s an equality to convenience stores or just some sort of leveling factor that I love and get a real energy out of. Especially in LA, where you could spend all your time mingling in certain places with certain people. Just trying to capture that excitement of the beauty of these places. Just the comfort of life and those feelings. The song to me is laying down the feeling of what’s going on. Everything is trying to match that.

SILY: What’s next for you?

JS: I’ve been playing in bands for literally 20 years, but all this stuff feels new and exciting. So I’m enjoying all these things I watched Kevin and Cassie do and was around for. Put a band together, try to play some shows in LA, and try to figure. I’m gonna try to go to Europe and the UK.

Honestly, the most fun thing to me is when the band is building. You’re just figuring it out and problem solving. I’m in that right now. It keeps it exciting. I like doing this interview! This rules. I have a weird combination of having done this stuff for so long that I have these amazing friends to play on the record, but it’s also new and exciting. Which I think is important for anyone. It keeps these things feeling very genuine and honest. It prevents you from getting really jaded.

I’m also just gonna keep writing songs. Just keep doing the work. That’s the fun for me. I love the work of music and bands. I love building them. Just doing that every day.

SILY: Even logistical things that a lot of people have been doing for a while--either they’re jaded or like, “Alright, this PR cycle again. Have to figure out the tour.” You talk about it with passion and like you’re looking forward to it. That’s awesome.

JS: Believe me--I understand the burnout of certain things. Touring can be really tough. I get it all. But I’ve always wanted to figure out how to stay excited. If that’s your MO, you have to figure out a way to change things or keep doing that. My friends who I gravitate towards really know how to do it. We’re really lucky to be doing this stuff.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching lately that’s caught your attention?

JS: That’s a good question. I’m a guest on the Aquarium Drunkard radio show today. I’m one of those people who just listens to Billie Holiday every day. I get set on an artist and just indulge in that. So I’m like, “Man, I gotta find cool music to play!” I also go through phases where for 3 months I can’t find a book that grabs me and just keep starting different books. I’ve been reading this book called Why We Came To The City by Kristopher Jansma. I don’t know whether you’re familiar with A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara. It’s this pulverizing, award-winning book that was one of my favorite books from last year. Anyway, Why We Came To The City is like the Oasis to the Beatles’ A Little Life. But then you’re like--that’s not bad. Oasis is an amazing band. I read that on the last European tour. But right now I’m in a slump. I have a Paul Auster book I can’t get into. I’m in a dry stretch, but something will come around.

0 notes