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qlossytbh · 6 months ago

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𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 the time where you had just a little too much to drink after a party at rossis and spencer takes care of you

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 alcohol intoxication, drinking, reader gets sick, emetophobia, a bit of suggestiveness (?), lots of pet names, spencer’s a sweetheart.

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 2.2k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 suffering a bit of a writers block but i am on a roll lately. it’s like ive got all these unfinished drafts and i can’t seem to finish them ugh. im going through my request, slowly but surely!

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

“Come on,” Spencer urged, wrapping a tight arm around you as you clung to his shoulder as if your life depended on it. God, your head was pounding and your own body felt like dead weight as you continued carrying yourself around.

You stumbled on your feet, too intoxicated to walk straight. The sharp stiletto heel that accompanied your dress was not working in your favor either, and they were frankly becoming quite painful.

“I need to sit down,” You slurred in a hushed yet collected manner.

“One second angel,” He whispered, reminding himself not to disrupt his neighbors.

It wasn’t your fault that Rossi's parties always consisted in a very sweet, very endless supply of the most exquisite cocktails you’d ever tasted. It’s not everyday you got to taste such bougie liquor and given your big sweet tooth, and Garcia’s pesky persistence to get you to follow along her alcohol tasting spree, all those free drinks were dangerous at your disposal.

Penelope had passed over this tart but perfectly sweetened strawberry drink she had encountered and you made the grave mistake of trying it. Just when the flavors melted in your mouth, you immediately made your way to the bar in search of your own, downing that one and three more in less than fifteen minutes.

In hindsight, that was a horrible decision. Spencer knew that if he had been glued to your hip, just like he usually was at these or any social event for that matter, he’d never let you drink as much and as fast as you did. He had nagged about something with rapid absorption and rapid increase in BAC— you were too drunk to remember any of the information he was dumping your way if you were being honest.

You began slowing down once the nausea and severe dizziness settled in. Usually, you knew your limits with alcohol. You knew how much got you drunk enough to loosen up, and you knew how much was too much, thanks to a few situations where you had to learn the hard way. However, something about the sweetness and the inability to taste any alcohol whatsoever threw you off your radar.

And here you are, dragging yourself against Spencer’s body and back into his apartment, too drunk to even walk and feeling like you were about to literally throw up any and every thing in your system.

Spencer pushed the door open, managing to balance you in his other arm as he unlocked the door swiftly. He walked in with you by his side, throwing the keys into the small metal dish by the door and now using both hands to keep you steady.

You remained quiet, trying desperately to focus on keeping the nausea down and not throwing up. “Spence,”

“What's wrong?” He asked, looking down at you as you dug your forehead into his chest, grappling at his shirt with a rough tug.

“I feel really sick,” The world around you was spinning and that pit in your stomach was getting harder to push down. He matted down the top of your tousled hair, tucking a few stray strands behind your ears.

“Do you need to throw up?” He asked, voice soft and comforting.

“I think so,” The nausea seemed to hit like a tidal wave, and all you needed was to lie down. You needed to lie down. Just the mention of puking was enough to get you to gag. Immediately freaked out and panicked, you gave a persistent nod, already pushing yourself off of him and making a very crooked B-line for the bathroom, knowing you were going to throw up.

Once past the bathroom door, you fell to your knees opening the lid of the toilet and hurling the contents of your stomach into it. You gagged, retching loudly while tears pricked the corners of your eyes and everything around you hurt.

Spencer followed closely behind, crouching beside you and pulling up your hair into a messy makeshift ponytail while his other came to rub comforting circles on your back, sitting through your discomfort by your side.

It was ironic really. Spencer had always been extremely opposed to anything germ related and this seemed to be his worst nightmare. If anyone knew about this, they’d probably not be able to believe how Spencer didn’t run in the opposite direction and quite literally ran right towards you and your germ related issues. Since he started dating you, he let certain things slide. He shared more of his personal space and didn’t mind if that included sharing things he wouldn’t tend to share around others.

He never thought twice about it if it brought you comfort. It came to him naturally, putting you and your comfort and happiness first.

You spit out the remaining acidic taste of bile into the toilet and groaned heavily. Your nostrils burned and so did the back of your throat, but all of the nausea was immediately alleviated from your system.

“Mhm, sexy,” You said, reaching over for a piece of toilet paper and wiping down your mouth. Spencer huffed a laugh through his nose, pressing a kiss to the back of your head. “This is embarrassing.”

“This?” He said, voice jumping into one of fake shock. You threw a glare over your shoulder and his face immediately melted into a sweet smile, rubbing your back with just a bit more clarity. “I’ve seen you in worse predicaments,”

“How do you feel?” You turned, resting your back against the toilet after flushing the contents away and turning towards him.

“I feel better,” You mumbled, screwing your eyes shut and attempting to blink away the tears and the burning sensation of your nose.. “But I probably look very disgusting.”

He tilted his head with a shrug, wholeheartedly answering. “You don’t look disgusting,”

“Liar,” You said with narrowed eyes, smiling playfully.

He shook his head with one of his signature smiles, those that tugged slightly to the right and crinkled the corner of his eyes just perfectly. He reached up, grabbing the empty glass cup that sat on the side of his sink, and was now filled with water. He handed you the glass which you took without complaint. “Drink,”

You drank down the whole glass, wanting to get the disgusting aftertaste out of your mouth. “Better?”

“Much,” You nodded, smiling up at him, feeling instantly better but still dizzy. “I feel like, rejuvenated or something,”

You reached back to push yourself up off the ground, only for Spencer to set a firm hand on your shoulder keeping you still.

“Give yourself a minute,” He told you. “You feel better after vomiting following excessive alcohol consumption mainly due to the removal of alcohol and its irritating effects on the stomach, but you need a few seconds.”

You hummed, picking at a rhinestone on your dress. “Does that mean I should expel all my stomach's contents everytime I overdrink to feel better?”

“No,” He narrowed his eyes at you. “You shouldn’t even drink enough to get to the point of having to throw up in the first place, love,”

“But those strawberry drinks were so good Spence,” You threw your head back with a pout.

“Yeah, yeah,” He dismissed with a playful tone. He hooked his fingers around your elbows. “Up,”

You steadied yourself with a tight grip on his shoulders and winced at the bright white light of the bathroom. He pushed you back, knocking the back of your knees into the toilet and forcing you to sit down on it with a soft thud. He crouched down and reached over to knead at the straps of your heel and promptly remove them.

He set them to the side and wordlessly moved into his room, grabbing one of his spare t-shirts and making his way back into the bathroom, where you watched him with weary eyes and a very sleepy but adoring smile.

Everything felt fuzzy but just seeing him work his way around you with such ease made your heart beat insanely.

“It’s not fair that you’re so pretty,” You voiced. Spencer opened his mouth to answer but could only mustered a stammered chuckle, blushing profusely but trying to resist laughing at the slurring in your voice.

“I’m pretty?” He asked. You nodded.

“Very,” He reached his hands out, grabbing yours and pulling you up.

“Is it okay if I take your dress off?” He asked, turning you around so your back was facing him. His fingers skimmed across your already exposed shoulders and back and everything felt so heightened that you shuddered at the ghost of his touch.

“Thought you’d never ask,” You said, shooting him a suggestive smile over your shoulder. He said your name with a warning, not faltering in the slightest.

“I’m kidding!” For the most part at least.

“Well, given since you can’t sleep in this dress,” His calloused fingers traced your shoulders in a soothing rhythm. “I brought you one of my shirts but I need to take off your dress in order to put it on,”

Your body seemed to feel magnetized to the floor, pulling your every movement down with a huge weight. Which was probably the alcohol having its effect on you. You felt stupefied but all you could think of was just how tired you were.

“That’s fine Spence,” You murmured, allowing his fingers to skim down your shoulders and towards the dress's zipper. Your eyes fluttered shut, trying to rest them while his hands moved around your back.

He pulled it down, all so gently and smoothly that you were growing even dizzier than you were with more than three cocktails in you.

“I love this dress,” You stated, watching as the sleeves loosened from your shoulders and began sliding down. The cold air hit your bare skin and you merely shivered as it fell and rested on the plush flesh of your hips.

“So do I,” He smiled, slipping his own shirt over your head. You huffed as he pushed the dress down your hips, allowing his shirt to fall over your upper body and cover you as best as it could while picking up the pool of fabric from the floor and laying it out against the toilet. “You looked very beautiful.”

You really did. The way that specific black sequined dress hugged your figure in every single angle and crease possible, flaunting off your body shape perfectly, made Spencer weak at his knees. He didn’t know how he didn’t drop everything the second he saw you to pull you elsewhere private and kiss you until neither of you could breathe.

“Looked? As in past tense?” You turned, facing him with a fake betrayal plastered across your features. “That’s rude,”

“You are insufferable,” He reached back, grabbing your spare toothbrush and putting a nice amount of toothpaste on it. “Now let me brush your teeth so I can kiss you,”

You surrendered your never ending teasing with a sigh, grabbing the hem of his shirt as he held your chin tenderly, brushing your teeth. Throughout the whole three minutes, you couldn’t hold back from allowing yourself to re-learn every single scratch and line on Spencer’s face, engraving its every detail and beauty into a small space in your brain.

Once he was finished and you had rinsed your mouth out with water, you were eternally grateful that the acidic taste in your mouth and lips had been replaced with a fresh minty one. “There,”

You hummed, pulling Spencer in by the said hem of his t-shirt and tilting your chin up towards him, smiling at him like an idiot. “Hi,”

“Hey,” His hands reached up, cradling your face tenderly in his palms, pouring any and every ounce of love he had in him onto you with a firm kiss.

“My legs are killing me,” You said, nuzzling your nose into his cheek and hugging his torso. He rubbed your back with a kiss on the top of your forehead. “I want to lay down,”

“I know but I need to get your makeup off, angel,” He murmured.

You groaned, needing to just get to bed or else you’d literally collapse “You specifically know that if you leave it on overnight, the buildup of makeup, along with dirt, oil, and pollutants that you collect on your skin throughout the day accumulates on its surface and can cause skin issues and breakouts.”

You narrowed a glare. “Yeah, yeah, I guess you’re right,”

“I always am,” He smiled proudly.

“Okay now you’re just pushing it,” He reached back, grabbing a makeup removing wipe from its respective package and dragging it very smoothly across your cheeks, lips, eyes and forehead— any part of your face he could get at. You shivered at the chilliness it gave your flared up cheeks.

Spencer was so gentle with you it made your heart swell in size at just how much attention and care he put into everything he did for you. If you weren’t as tired—and as out of it— as you were right now, you really would pull him down and kiss him anywhere (and everywhere) until your heart stopped beating as much as it was. Although realistically speaking the kissing would probably cause your palpitations to worsen.

He managed to get as much mascara off as he could but the waterproof substance stuck to the bottom of your eyes with a fierce grip. He tossed the wipe into the trashcan and quickly swiped his thumbs across the bottom of your eyes with a very docile brush.

“How do I look?” You said, narrowing your eyes with humor, knowing you probably looked absolutely disheveled. Spencer cocked a brow at you, reaching back and undoing the tie that held your hair into the gorgeous updo thing you had going on.

“Absolutely breathtaking,” He still said, pressing a chaste kiss to the bridge of your nose. His hands continued working at your hair, to which you let your eyes flicker close, resisting the uncontrollable urge to moan out loud as the pads of his fingers rubbed your irritated scalp soothingly.

“I’m sorry,” Your voice came out way more breathier than intended.

“What for?” He asked, letting his hands rest on the side of your neck.

“This,” It wasn’t exactly flattering— the state he had seen you in. And for some reason you felt embarrassed at the thought of him seeing you so exposed and in some shape or form. “I don’t know I feel like I made a fool of myself,”

He furrowed his brows. “I don’t know— I feel guilty that you have to take care of me.”

“But I love taking care of you,” He murmured, instilling such a delicate tone with you that it was impossible to feel uncertain about anything. “Don’t say sorry,”

He kissed you, perfectly, just like he always did. “If you say so,”

It was true. Spencer loved, absolutely treasured, moments where he could take care of you in his own special way. Be gentle and remind you just how much he absolutely loved you.

“Am I done now?” You huffed, slumping forward as all the bones in your body begged to sleep.

“Mhm,” He pulled back, scanning you entirely. “Good to go.”

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moonsaver · 8 months ago

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Do you have any thoughts about the opposite of the "Im afraid to confess because our friendship could get ruined"? As in, "I'm afraid to reject you because I don't want to lose this friendship so I accept your confession even though I don't feel that way for you and never will".

Like the protagonist tries to convince themselves that this is just like being friends only that we now kiss (and more). I feel like it would fit with a yandere that is a bit delusional or desperate, eveb insecure so whenever the protagonist doesnt seem as into this relationship as them, they just try to convince themselves otherwise, or love bomb the protagonist.

Idk lately Ive been into reversing the tropes and I found this one particularly interesting to me when it comes to a yandere. In HSR i was thinking of Argenti as he seems like the delusional type. Or even Aventurine who would have had to put down a lot of walls to be friends with you and then even more walls just to confess, so rejecting him doesnt seem like an option to the protag (out of pity and care).

THIS THIS THIS!!!! qnon ur brain is so wrinkly and soggy with brain juice..... this used to be my favorite trope at some point idk why i forgot about it i remember eating up any fanfics out there based on this

Tw: yandere (obv), manipulation, intimacy (mainly romantic, only hints of sexual), emotional blackmailing, whatever yadda yadda

But anyways, under the cut!

Okay, so, I imagine this is possible with literally... almost all of hsr's cast. Mainly because most of them have such tragic backstories, and most of them out of that have a really shrewd and cunning mind, so they'll exploit this to hell and back.

I also imagine this is with a people pleasing reader, so lets go with a bit of implication of that.

Anyways, since Aventurine and Argenti are the ones mentioned specifically, I'll probably dive in on them first.

Aventurine is so hard to not feel pity for. Every stolen glance at the marking on his neck makes you feel worse and worse for "rejecting him", knowing he's been throwing signs of wanting more than a friendship quite possibly everywhere and you're most likely ignoring them in hopes of keeping your friendship. It's not like he hasn't quite caught on, either. He knows people's hearts quite well. And where there's opportunity, he seizes it.

It's a bit frustrating for him – just why can't you see he wants more? Or rather, just why aren't you accepting him? You're the first thing on his mind when he wakes up, when he clutches his chip and bets on his life, the last thing on his mind when he goes to sleep. Hell, he's even tried to dream of you, forcefully. But then he realizes.. how easy you are to just push around. He goes ahead with the confession, and it's almost a sadistic kind of pleasure when he sees you even try and stutter out any kind of a rejection when he's leaning in a perfect angle that shows off his little marking (out of all the times he curses it, it seems like this time it's worked in his favor). He watches carefully as your eyes nervously flit to his neck and you shut up immediately for a second, before accepting. And when you do.. he's over the moon! Coddles you, kisses your cheeks, becomes so much more grabby, as his keen eyes watch your discomfort. Well.. you didn't reject him, so this is what you should expect.

Again, the frustration doesn't wear off easily, but just seeing you writhe and try to create distance while he suffocates you in affection far from platonic nature, is so sadistically pleasuring to him. He loves watching you in that state, bending to his will so easily, as he waits for you to snap. But he'll probably find it easier to squeeze water out of a rock than to squeeze a rejection out of you – which is precisely what he exploits. You're not going anywhere, are you? He puts on his best, pleading little eyes that he used to have to put on, shaking, trembling voice, desperate hands that cling to you; all the things he acts out like his life depends on it when he senses even a waver of your hesitation.

Oh, fine.. he hates seeing you so queasy almost all the time, so he'll give you a reprieve from time to time. Plans and schedules things you used to do "back when you were friends" (he emphasizes this – you don't think you can just ignore everything, right?), and makes sure to at least crack a few smiles and giggles from you. Of course.. his hand is still loosely hanging around your waist, pecks you on the lips from time to time, just as a small reminder of what you guys really are now.

Argenti on the other hand, has no awareness of your discomfort at all.

He's like a huge dog, the way he's so happy about you accepting his confession and doesn't even stop to think afterwards just why you were so hesitant during it.

Constantly praises you, and it's not soon before it gets to a more intimate nature. He wants to do all the romantic things – kissing under the rain, protecting you from something, twirling you in the air and then kissing you again after putting you down, telling everyone proudly that you two are a couple, buying more and more "romantic" gifts that turn more intimate sooner or later. You have no way out of this without completely ruining everything.

It's.. almost painful the way he doesn't realise. At some point your discomfort probably gets so.. obvious, but he just shrugs it off; perhaps he hasn't been paying you enough attention? Or you're just too shy to ask something of him? Oh, how sweet! How adorable! He thinks. He simply falls deeper and deeper into this delusion, stringing you along and stretching your patience thin. Unfortunately, unlike Aventurine, you can't find most, if any bits of the things you both used to do as platonic companions in the relationship you have with Argenti. He's just a full-blown romantic who wants to do only that. It makes you even more queasy when people look at you in pity, if they realize just what happened between you two.

You can't back out, even if you tried. If you somehow manage to find a way to squeeze out a rejection, or have any kind of a reservation about things getting more intimate/romantic stuff, he's so devastated. Did he do something wrong? Perhaps he's not as experienced as you wanted him to be? Or you're not satisfied with some of the things he's said? Don't fret, he's right on it! Constantly holding you so close you're afraid your bones will break, whispering incessant praises into your ear that slowly spiral into affirmations that you belong to him, spoiled rotten with everything you want; yet, even then.. you can't shake off the intention they were given in. Not when you're suffocated by it.

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simplydozing · 6 months ago

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𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐲 𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐘𝐨𝐮

Nameless Ghoulette Cumulus x Ghoul!Reader Shedding season always comes early for you. You don’t know why, but it’s the most painful thing you ever go through. Luckily for you, you have a whole squad that takes care of you during this time, one putting in extra effort than the rest. Word Count: 2253 || Ao3 Gender Neutral Pronouns for Reader Author's Interpretations Of Nameless Ghouls

It was that time of the year again, for you at least.

It was that time where you succumbed to pure agony. You would be put through the most excruciating pain just to shed the outer lining of your horns.

You never understood why. Why it hurts so bad, and why your shed time came a full season before the others.

Your horns are smaller than the others. They were the most common shape, jutting out from your hairline and curving upward to a small point. Could it be that the size affects your shedding?

Age didn't play an issue, you were as old as the others. You think there's something wrong with you, but they say it's natural and that you were fine. Maybe they're right, but it was something you couldn't shake off.

There was this one time where you collapsed on stage and you were sure to be sent back to hell for ruining the scene. But you woke up in the infirmary with the other ghouls surrounding you, one in particular holding your hand.

Cumulus was always the one to take extra care of you. She had this nurturing spirit about her. She was the first to get to know you upon your summoning, and you both grew close pretty quickly. She was the one to introduce you to the rest of your team.

It was definitely an interesting sight for the frontman, who you came to know as Papa Emeritus IV. All he saw was a pack circulating around you, taking in your scent and checking out the features you have. He was quite the character himself. She told you everything you needed to know about him and what to do.

She was the one who helped you find your talent for singing. Finding your “human” voice is a big deal for your kind. Ghouls don't talk like one could imagine, they use a sort of telepathy. It sounds like indistinct whispering, and they use small words and phrases. So when you heard her “voice”, it almost brought you to your knees.

Since then, you both have been inseparable.

Today, you're all practicing for the new songs the Emeritus wrote.

Or, you all were supposed to be. You didn't show up, and the rest were still waiting on you.

“What is taking so long?” The Emeritus broke the silence.

“Did I not say this was urgent?” He turned to the rest, throwing his arms up in an over exaggerated shrug.

They look around and stare at each other.

“ {y/n} unwell?”

“ where {y/n}?”

“is late, is never late.”

There were chirps and purrs coming from each of them while they questioned your whereabouts.

Cumulus was deep in thought about it. But then it hits after remembering what day it is.

She grabs her companion, Cirrus, by the sleeve. Cirrus tilts her head and twitches her nose.

“ know of {y/n}?” She asks.

“ {y/n} shed today,” Cumulus answers, distressed.

The others pick up on this, and immediately put their instruments down and go look for you.

The Emeritus jogs after them.

“Wait! What's going on?”

It's Dewdrop that stops in his tracks.

“ shedding,” he makes a pulling motion from his head where his own horns are positioned.

“Oh.” He raises his eyebrows, coming to the realization that you could literally be anywhere, and that brings a chill down his spine.

You once freaked him out when you were in the middle of this process. It was a late night, and he was just finishing up some paperwork when he decided to take a break and wander around to stretch everything out. He was not expecting any other person to be up, much less you. So when he sees you at the end of a darkened hallway covered in blood and the only source of light coming from your dimly glowing eyes, he books it right back to his office and slammed the door. He even blocked it off with a chair.

“Yes. Yes, okay. Go,” Emeritus pats the ghoul on the shoulder. Dewdrop nods, and flees to catch up with the others.

“And find them before they find me!” He calls out, shuddering when he thinks back to that one night.

Everyone splits up, covering more ground around the abbey. One checks the kitchen, another inspects the reading room. Mountain scours the cemetery, and Dewdrop searches the meeting room.

But you're nowhere to be found.

Cumulus is out in the garden area, chittering and clicking, making the sounds you can recognize her by. She was hoping to be the one to find you, knowing what to do with you and how to do it.

She looks under the benches. She rattles bushes. She pads around the various delicate flowers.

She can't find you, though.

The sound of dry leaves crunching under her feet grows more frantic. She's in a panic. You couldn't have gone far in your state.

All hope begins to fade as she comes to a halt, catching her breath while trying to think rationally.

You have these “go-to” spots, but all reported you weren't in any of them. Sometimes, you would get so overstimulated that you would find a new hiding area. But at the same time, you have a tendency to go astray. The pain would be so mind-numbing that you'd aimlessly drag yourself anywhere.

Sleepwalking, in a way.

Feeling defeated, Cumulus decides that the others have probably found you by now.

She surveys the area one last time.

She knows you haven't gone that far out, but she still squints at the treeline of the woods that hid the church. She sees the old conservatory.

Perhaps you found sanctuary there.

She hurries to the abandoned building, brushing away the stray brush and tall grass.

Your scent is getting strong. Thank Satan she chose to look around again.

On arrival, the first thing she noticed is the door that's slightly ajar.

The building itself is gorgeous. There's an entryway that's framed with stained glass windows telling the story of Lucifer's Great Fall. It leads to an even larger glass dome. Some of the glass is broken, and the whole thing is held together by rusted beams.

How could they let this breathtaking edifice go in such a vanquished state?

No matter, she could sit and gawk at it another time. Her top priority was you.

She shuffles through, and what she sees inside is incomparable to what is on the outside.

The dusking light passes through each panel. Each color seeps in, reds and oranges paint the cobblestone pathway. Dead rose bushes fill the stone troughs that lined the hall. There's a lot of weeds and shriveled leaves.

It was the definition of “hauntingly beautiful.”

She ambled through, taking in the sights.

It quite literally resembled hell.

She was so lost in this place that she didn't pay attention to the scuffling that was coming in close behind her.

Your vision is blurred. You are quite literally burning up, smoke evaporating off of you. Your lungs feel as if they've been strangled, leaving you to wheeze in what little air you can breathe.

Your head is killing you.

Emeritus scheduled one of the worst days for practice. You don't blame him, he just didn't know.

You came here to be alone. You didn't even know this place existed, but it was perfect.

The interior reminded you of home.

“Home.”

You could writhe up here the same way you would writhe down there.

It was isolated enough so you couldn't venture out around the abbey, and so that no one could easily find you.

No one was supposed to anyway.

You were jostled from your withering when you heard the door creak open. You lifted your head from your hands when you heard footsteps.

They were sparse, and some even dragged.

They were unrecognizable.

You struggled to pull yourself to your feet, rolling over and clawing your way up.

You had a hand in front of you to guide yourself.

There was another set of heavy wood doors connecting the actual greenhouse to the hall.

You braced yourself, and weakly heaved them open.

Through your heavy vision, you saw her .

Cumulus had her back turned to you. Her eyes were glued to the ceiling. You didn't dare follow her gaze, seeing as she was truly the most beguiling thing here.

You lurch forward, reaching for her.

“cumu….lus”

She whirls around.

And her eyes widen at the sight of you.

The lining of your horns are peeling, exposing chunks of the tender flesh that was protected by it. Blood poured down your face in dark red rivulets. Smoke flows around you, and your clothes are torn to shreds.

The worst part is how tired your eyes are.

You try to walk to her, but you're so fatigued that your eyelids droop and you start to fall.

You were prepared to hit the ground, but you were met with a warm softness.

She caught you, and was now holding you under your arms. Her hands clutched what fabric was left of your uniform.

She rubbed your back and eased you down so your head rested on her lap. You convulsed at her touch, hissing when she came too close to the base of your horns.

“ are hurt, why so far?”

You didn’t have the strength to answer her. Right now, all you wanted to do was sit in silence. “ can walk? ”

You shook your head. You’re too exhausted to move.

She lifts your head and spreads her legs out to get in a comfier position. Once settled, her claws itch at your scalp. She massages your head with slight pressure, which honestly feels so good given the circumstance.

You whimper and tiredly bring a hand up to her knee.

“ shh, are almost done ”

She rubs your temples, seeing as how the enamel continues to peel. You start shaking.

Cumulus is here for you. She doesn’t mind waiting for you . You’ve done the same for her a few times. She remembers being so embarrassed for you to see her in the same position you are, but you stayed by her side regardless.

She would take all this away from you if she could. Every ghoul has to go through this, sadly. It breaks her heart seeing anyone go through this. But it shatters seeing you go through it.

You white-knuckle the hem of her suit as your horns are at their final stage.

Your mouth is agape, but no sound comes out.

All you can do is hold onto your dear friend.

And she lets you.

She lets you dig your claws in her leg. She lets you scream and cry as loud as you need to. She lets you wipe the blood off on her clothes.

She lets you be vulnerable.

You're so tired, and you're in so much pain.

You pass out when the tips of them come undone.

“ rest easy, {y/n}, ” she strokes the side of your face.

She wishes she had more time with you like this, but you're both found by Mountain and Swiss.

You're both a bloody mess.

They don't question anything, they just help her carry you back to the church.

You wake up in the infirmary yet again, but this time, no one is around you. Although, you do feel a weight on your torso.

You look down to see none other than Cumulus resting her head on folded arms, fast asleep.

You smile and place a hand on her back.

Her eyes flutter open.

Seeing you're awake makes her sit upright.

“ are awake! how feeling? ” She clasps your hand in both of hers.

You reach up to touch your horns and find that they're wrapped in bandages. There's a slight buzz in your head.

“sorry for not remember .”

She looks away in shame.

You scoot up to her.

“no need,” you reply, taking her by the sides of her face to return her gaze to you.

“thanks for help. glad it was you.”

Her eyes sparkled, the reddish-brown hues paling as she leaned into your touch.

“ as well as i,” she brings a hand up to rest on yours, further pressing flush against her.

You kept this position for what felt like ages. You looked at her lovingly, and you want to say she reflected it.

“ are… are feeling same? ”

She finally put it into words.

There’s a theory that ghouls can feel emotions on a much deeper level than the average mortal, that they can feel it through a simple touch.

And with your hand on her cheek, it exclusively validates it into fact.

Your thumb grazes her soft lips.

And you then pull her in by the chin, taking one last glimpse in those hellish eyes of hers.

And you kiss her.

She squeaks happily. Her stomach flips and her heart skips a beat. You’re so warm, not overheating like you were. And you’re so unexpectedly tender, gentle even.

If she had a tail, it’d be wagging.

You recede from her, leaving her mouth partially gaping open.

“answer question?” You let out a breathless laugh.

She giggles and nods, bringing one of your hands up to plant a kiss in the palm of it.

“ not know half of it! ”

There’s a new scent to you, to both of you when you were given the ‘okay’ and discharged. No one questions either of you, but you best believe there was some gossip among the rest.

#♥︎#ghost the band #ghost band fanfic #ghost band #ghost band x reader #the band ghost #the band ghost x reader #the band ghost x you #ghost bc #ghost bc x reader #ghost bc x you #nameless ghoulette x reader #cumulus x reader #nameless ghouls #nameless ghoulettes #nameless ghoulette cumulus #cumulus ghoulette #cumulus ghost

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a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual · 1 year ago

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Nimona headcanons cause I love this chaotic little family

I’ve seen a lot of people say Ambrosius is a morning person and Bal is a night owl

And I have to respectfully disagree

Will Bal pull some all-nighters in the lab? Absolutely

But this man is the most early bird coded character I’ve ever seen in my entire life

When he isn't fully invested in a project he can't stay up past 10 pm

He wakes up at 6 am refreshed and barely needs caffeine

I’ve also seen a lot of people say he’s a dedicated coffee drinker but something about this man screams “Coffee gives me migraines”

Ambrosius on the other hand

That’s an insomniac if I’ve ever seen one

He’ll get ready for bed around 9 and then stay up til 3 in the morning

Poor babe needs coffee in an IV

He used to wake up really early back in the institute cause he was forced to run a mile every minute he was late to class

And he’s a heavy sleeper so after the wall came down and he quit being a knight he wouldn't wake up before 1 pm even with Bals help

And Nimona is just as bad

Most nights Ambrosius will leave the room because he moves a lot when he can’t sleep and Bal is a light sleeper

He’ll sit in the living room watching tv while trying to sleep and most of the time Nimona will join him

Every once and a while Bal will find them laying on top of each other on the couch and will take them back to their respective beds

And if you’re wondering what their favorite show to watch together is it’s those house-flipping shows

But not for the reason you think

Most people watch those shows cause they think it’s inspiring

Ambrosius and Nimona talk about how terrible these people are at their jobs

They’ll go on hour-long rants about how these people are stripping the houses of everything that made them a home

(Ambrosius is a sentimental bitch and would be a maximalist after leaving the institute prove me wrong)

When Nimona is bored she’ll go into the city disguised as Bal or Ambrosius

And she’ll fool literally everyone it’s a pretty common occurrence for the boys to be at home and then they hear the other swearing like a damn sailor because there are already news articles about it

The only people she can’t fool are Bal and Ambrosius

Bal will shut them down almost immediately

They’ll walk over to Bal and won’t even get a word out before Bal says “Shift back Nim you’re freaking me out”

They always make a big deal out of being caught making big decorations like “I’m getting better and one day I’ll fool you”

And he’ll hum in agreement but he knows that it doesn’t matter how good he gets or how observant he is he’ll be able to fully copy every little detail

The details that Bal has spent the past decade and a half remembering

You know the little things like how he can’t say Bal or Nimona’s names without smiling even when he’s pissed

Or how he scrunches his nose when he laughs

Ambrosius always acts like Nimona tricked him

He’ll let them get comfortable in the character and then he’ll drop the bomb

Something small and inconspicuous like “Hey Nim do you want pizza for dinner?” and they’ll excitedly proclaim “Hell yeah pizza!”

It takes them a second to realize they’ve been played and when they do they never make a big deal about it

They normally just mumble a curse or two and walk away with their tail between their legs (literally)

The first time Nimona tried to trick Ambrosius was when he was having one of those days

You know the days when even breathing feels like a fucking battle

This was in a really awkward period too

Like right after Nimona and Ambrosius started trusting each other but right before they really started to get to know each other

But she knew the boys well enough to know if Bal came home to a sad Ambrosius then he’d be in a bad mood for the rest of the day

And she knows that the only thing that can cure a mopey Ambrosius is Bal

She walked into the room and started talking to Ambrosius and was kind of surprised and a little bit peeved about how well she was fooling him

Until he said “You can drop the act Nim I know it’s you”

They kind of just sat in that silence for a minute until Nimona said the first thing that came to her mind

“You want me to find my sax?”

Bal shouldn’t have been surprised to find Nimona disguised as him serenading Ambrosius with the worst freestyle jazz he’s ever heard (which is saying something)

He didn’t even say anything he just sat down and cuddled the love of his life while watching their kid try and play the sax while breakdancing

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #those dorks know each other better than they know themselves #I'm fully convinced Bal has spent days counting the freckles and beauty marks on Ambrosius' face #Cause they're sappy like that #Nimona isn't the best at comforting people #it's a real learning curve #especially cause these boys have a sadness that runs crazy deep #I'm sending all of these poor traumatized bubs to therapy #this is so long #I think it’s the longest post I’ve made in a while

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paintedperiwinkle · 11 months ago

Text

plant dashboard simulator

🍁 nevergreen Following

when are we gonna talk about the superiority complex that evergreens have just because they don’t go dormant

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS ONE!!!

🌳 oakspoke Follow

um it’s quite literally the opposite actually?? evergreens are always ostracized because they don’t turn colors in autumn

🍁 nevergreen Following

found the evergreen apologist

#evergreens if i see u on this post ur getting blocked immediately

25,398 notes

🍌 fruitsalad Follow

just a reminder that imported produce take away from the desirability of locally grown produce!

🍓 berrysweet Following

what the fuck??

🥥 tropical-chill Follow

op i’m outside your house with a weedwhacker

#tw discourse #tw idiocy

36,294 notes

🥕 carrottop-deactivated10022023

demeaning crops who weren’t sowed with higher quality soil and fertilizer is elitist btw!

🍒 redandjuicy Following

literally who is doing that

🪴 homegrown Follow

flop post i fear

🍂 autumnbreeze Follow

bro deleted his whole account 💀

97,173 notes

🥀 wiltedbeauty Following

can we PLEASE talk about the pretty privilege of garden flowers?? weeds and wildflowers are always cast out just bc we aren’t “aesthetic”

🪻 violet-and-violent Following

and the most stuck up ones are ALWAYS roses and sunflowers

🥀 wiltedbeauty Following

YOU GET IT!!!

5,746 notes

🌻 de-flowered Follow

just got pollenated for the first time…

🌳 oakspoke Follow

some things can stay in the drafts op

🌷 pinkandpretty Following

don’t listen to them you go girl!

5,229 notes

🪴 homegrown Follow

dni if you think that kudzu shouldn’t be held accountable for the damage it’s done to native flora communities

🍌 fruitsalad Follow

op they aren’t gonna like this one…

🍁 nevergreen Following

your ass is always at the scene of the crime huh

57,385 notes

🍄 not-a-fun-guy Follow

do you guys ever feel like you don’t belong

0 notes

🌵 aloesoft Following

gentle reminder that the terms succulent and cacti are not interchangeable!! all cacti are succulents but not all succulents are cacti! it can be offensive to some of us to use them incorrectly!

🍓 berrysweet Following

reblogging so more people see this

#important

3,385 notes

🍃 soil-lover Following

all lawns are beautiful!! lawns with weeds! lawns with sparse grass and dirt patches! clover lawns! overgrown lawns! you are all beautiful!

🍂 autumnbreeze Follow

one of these things is not like the others…

🌾 gonewiththewind Follow

the real issue is that “lawns” exist in the first place. what happened to wide open fields?

🍃 soil-lover Following

can you make your own fucking post

17,220 notes

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

vegetables that can be grown throughout multiple seasons i love you <3

🥒 cute-cumber Follow

so just fuck single season veggies then huh?

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

that is literally not what i said. but now i am. fuck you

#??? #are you stupid on purpose or

6,383 notes

🪷 hightide Following

some of you guys need to start including aquatic plants in your advocacy. we are the most overlooked plant group

🌵 aloesoft Following

THIS!!!!

🪷 hightide Following

why are you the only one who understands me

#aquatic plants 🤝 desert plants

104 notes

🌿 fabulousfern Follow

no offense but indoor plants will literally never understand what wild plants go through

🎍 bamboozled Follow

you want a medal or something?? as a wild plant myself we’re not somehow better than them because we don’t need humans to take care of us. they didn’t ask to be born house plants

🌿 fabulousfern Follow

kiss ass

#did they pick you? #i hope they see this bro

9,385 notes

🍀 luckyday Following

shoutout to all of the big trees that share their nutrients with us little guys down here!! we love you!! 💚

11 notes

🌳 oakspoke Follow

no one tell the climbing plants but it makes me feel a bit claustrophobic when they grow up all over me

🌲 suburban-spruce Follow

HELP i thought i was the only one 😭

🍁 nevergreen Following

oh that’s not…

🌱 sproutaloud Follow

it’s not too late to delete this…

🍇 leavesfromthevine Following

like literally wtf???

#sorry that not all of us have a fucking trellis to grow on?? #we literally can not help how we grow??? #yall pretend to care about plants different from you but then post shit like this #did u think no one would see this? be honest #pathetic

62,590 notes

#dashboard simulator #long post #i love those dashboard simulator posts so much so i wanted to make one ^_^

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beansboop · 11 months ago

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after the tour - julien baker x reader

okay, so this is my first time writing for Julien. its just something small and was just an idea ive had in my head for a couple days. I know only a few people who write for Julien (i love their work) so I thought maybe I could start writing for her and even the other members of boygenius too! but anyways I hope this is good and I hope everyone who reads it enjoys it :)

summary - Julien has been on tour for a while now and all she wants to do is be with the person she loves most. you.

rating - none

warnings - literally just fluff. she/her pronouns. reader is younger (in college) not proofread.

word count - 800

It was still dark out when you first woke up. Some birds were chirping and you could hear the soft snores from the person lying next to you.

Julien. Your little body heater.

She was laying on her stomach with her arm thrown around you. Her face tucked in the back on your neck, her breath tickling you every time she exhaled.

You shuffled around until you were facing her. Admiring her relaxed face. She had just finished the tour with the boys and has been exhausted ever since she got home. All she wanted to do was crawl into your arms and go to sleep.

Which is exactly what she did last night.

The boys had just finished the last song of the night and the last show of the tour. You were backstage waiting for Julien, and the rest of them. Mostly Julien though. You weren’t able to go to every show sadly, you were in college and had to keep things going with yours and julien’s shared home. You guys facetimed and texted throught the day. You did go to some shows and were able to support them front row or back stage. But Julien felt bad cause she was always so tired after shows all she wanted to do was go to sleep. So she didn’t get to talk to you much or spend much time with you. But you understood completely. You loved Julien and your just happy to be together wherever it is and whatever you guys are doing.

Julien, Phoebe, and Lucy all came running back and collided into you with the biggest hug.

“you guys were absolutely incredible out there” you said before you quite literally ran out of breath from the bear hug.

They all laughed, phoebe and lucy went to go to their rooms to grab their stuff to bring to the tour bus leaving you and Julien alone. Julien just kept looking at you smiling.

“what are you looking at?” you smirked.

Julien laughed “im just looking at you.. ive missed you so much” she says wrapping her arms around your waist and kissing your forehead.

“me too,” you said sadly. “but were together now and we’ll be home soon and we can do whatever you want” you said, kissing the tip of her nose then her mouth.

“oh.. whatever I want huh” Julien smirked and raised her eyebrows. You chuckled and lightly smacked her cheek.

You rolled your eyes “ugh come on” you grabbed her arm and started dragging her towards her room to get her things.

For some reason you were wide awake and just thinking about random stuff. You were so in your head you didn’t even realise Julien had woken up.

“whatcha thinkin’ about baby?” she asked tiredly.

“just life. You, and me”

She smiled at that. “good thoughts I hope?”

“Yes, of course” you said, cupping her face with your hand and brushing hair out of her face.

Her eyes starting to close again.

You didn’t say anything for a couple minutes so she thought you had fallen back asleep. She pulled you closer to her so your face was in the crook of her neck. You both keeping eachother warm from the cool air.

“are you awake?” Julien asked softly.

You hummed

She didn’t say anything for a few seconds trying to think of a way to get this all out. “I know because of the tour I haven’t been able to talk to you much or be with you and im sorry. Ive been so stressed and tired lately I know I haven’t been making time to really be with you and when I am with you im just annoying cause im having to practice or talking with the band and im not giving you my full attention” she started rambling.

Now you were really awake.

“Julien” is all you said.

“you don’t have to explain yourself. I get it. Your stressed, anyone would be. eThis was one of your biggest tours and im so, so proud of you.” You exclaimed.

She started tearing up at your words. She really felt like she was such a bad girlfriend. But of course you would understand, that’s why she loved you so much.

“Im just so-“ you cut her off with your lips.

“stop saying sorry. You don’t have any reason to be sorry. Im not mad, I never was, In the slightest.” You kissed her again. This time slowly to make sure she really gets that your not upset.

You could never be upset at her.

Especially over something like this.

You rested your foreheads against each other and just laid with each other.

“I love you so much y/n. I mean it. You are it for me” Julien said.

She kissed you gently. “I love you Julien. Your it for me too.”

#julien baker x reader #boygenius #julien baker

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pansy-picnics · 18 days ago

Note

hi:3

im veryyyyy much a lurker i do not put myslef "out there" alot(most of my asks r to my mutuals but im TRYING to het out of mh shell so...)

ANYWYAS HAI:3 uhhh one of ur uknighted dream/new dream kids looks reallh pretyy(i think its the oldest one idk hlp), BTW I LOVE emery but i wanna know more about the ukd kids, so like if u have the past posts u made about them or like... IDK HELP i just wanna know more aboutvtjem bcuz ive seen them a couple times and theyre really cutie☹️

also like i scream whenever you use she/her on hugo because YOU LITERALLY GET IT LIEK OMG🙏🙏🙏 i apologize this is very rambly but liek ur art is so sosososoososo pretty & ur hcs and aus and AUGH iys so GRASHSH, so like ya byebhue:33

AHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ASK IM SOSO HAPPY 🥹🥹💕💕💕 I LOVE ALL MY LURKERS BUT I LOVE IT SM WHEN YOU GUYS COMMENT OR ASK ME STUFF TEEHEE

All three of the ukd kids are GORGEOUS ngl so i assume you’re thinking of ilmari but i can’t rule out the twins either…..Eugene and raps have some good ass genes I’ll tell you that.

Also i’m glad people appreciate my feminization of hugo. I just she/her him by default atp i refuse to hide it any longer this is what the WOKE LEFT WANTS!!!!! He’s so androgynous it’s like if a man and a woman had a baby. I need to kick that f slur into the sun

Anyways…Ough….I HAVE been neglecting the ukd kids a lot lately though i hate to admit it. i love them just as much and i know what’s going on with them too… but the truth is their characters just didn’t “click” into place quite as well emery’s did i think

To be quite honest emery came to me in a vision. Like. “Eccentric cutesy teenage girl who reads bad smut and practices dubiously ethical medicine”. And that is the perfect archetype to me. Literally no notes. Ilmari and the twins on the other hand have….Taken a little longer to perfect. and ive had a LOT of people tell me they want to know more about them but i just haven’t gotten to it yet. Sometimes i wonder why emery is the fan favorite but then i remember i Barely talk about anyone else so. Oops

I have a pretty good idea of them now though i THINK? so i for SURE need to infodump AHSJSJDJFFG Ill put the rest of my more detailed thoughts below the cut uhhhh

Uhhh. Basically. Ryder is the golden child whos really expressive and energetic like raps but very anxious and neurotic. He’s honestly kind of the straight man of yhe group. Most people think it’s ilmari but this is Wrong. Eldest child syndrome despite being the middle child. Workaholic but he fucking hates his job. Stressed out 24/7 and hasn’t slept in 2 weeks. needs to be liked by EVERYONE or he will DIE.

Alina is the baby she’s kinda varian and cass core. Always in the shadow of ryder or ilmari, but shes had support where it matters, so she’s never really cared. She was the shy quiet kid growing up but now he is full of Rage. very clingy, headstrong and stubborn. Strong leader and always tries to take control but his older siblings dont rlly take him seriously. Kind of a smartass and a drama queen but specifically in an old hollywood detective kind of way

ilmari……quiet, blunt, dry and emotionally unavailable. Horse girl and the king of not giving a fuck. they’re a free spirit, and since they were the first to leave the nest theyre always just kinda Wandering. Doesn’t speak unless spoken to. They typically come off as very weird and unsettling, but they are very gentle and compassionate when it comes down to it, they’re just Bad at feelings. They’re silly i promise but they have that like dry ass adira ttpe humor.

I think one of the main reasons the twins are so hard for me to describe is bc i’ve failed to disclose their Main Gimmick, which is that they’re meant to start out as the the typical boy/girl twin trope— where ones shy, anxious and kinda nerdy, and the other one is charismatic, eccentric and extroverted— but by their teenage years, they’ve pretty much completely swapped in every regard: fashion sense and presentation, personality, mannerisms, etc.

they both have some core traits that are stuck to them for their entire lives, and are obviously still undeniably the same characters, but their overall archetypes kind of swap entirely.

as little kids, alina is the timid, reserved, kind of fluttershy-esque type, and is a bit more of the observant, logical “by-the-books” one. meanwhile ryder is the bouncy, outspoken wild child, to the point of being kind of ditzy and careless at times, but hes very emotional and has no trouble making his voice heard.

as they get older, though, alina, with a strong support system, is eventually able to find his voice and speak up for himself, and after years of being silent, he becomes kind of the rebel of the family. he’s intelligent, calculated, and very stubborn about what he believes in. plus, shes spent most of her life observing, so she has a very good understanding of whats going on around her- and a passion for leadership that’s reminiscent of cassandra’s. alina ends up being a very hardheaded, outspoken and emotional individual who’s eager to take a stand and is deeply afraid of being a burden on her loved ones, or worse, never accomplishing anything at all. She is also Soooo fucking angry like all the time and she NEEDS constant validation SO BAD or she will DIE. #Teenagerthings.

Meanwhile ryder, as coronas Golden Child, has the most pressure on him out of all the kids, and slowly becomes more anxious and closed off as he gets older. at his core he’s compassionate, creative, and kind of weird and snarky, but he gets lost in his own head very easily. he cares WAYYYYY too much what other people think of him and is 100% willing to just. Change and/or destroy himself to meet other peoples expectations. this is why he is a horrible choice for coronas heir and unfortunately, because hes REALLY good at masking, it takes everyone WAY TOO LONG to realize this. Even when he learns some decent coping mechanisms ryder always remains kind of a workaholic, neurotic and anxious person. Massive perfectionist also. he has ISSUES. 😭😭😭

the court: We’ve made the perfect heir for corona

rapunzel, gesturing to ryder: You fucked up my perfectly good kid is what you did!!!! Look at him!!!! He’s got anxiety!!!!!!

ILMARI!! ILMARI MY BABYGIRL!!!!!! Ilmaris honestly so so SO bad at feelings they are so distant but i swear they TRY THEIR BEST they just have AUTISM 😭🙏Unlike the twins ilmari doesn’t really have a huge change in character LOL…But i need to talk more about the trios dynamic, cuz they’re all VERY close especially when they were little. Once ilmaris traveling on their own, though, their relationship is a little more strained……..like i said ilmari is very much a wanderer, and they don’t write much either. Obviously they send like monthly letters to ukd out of obligation (cass and eugene especially get CRAZY paranoid otherwise…..) as well as some gifts to the family whenever they can but. Their letters highkey read like business emails LOL.

Ilmaris in a weird place where they do truly care about their family but like….They still feel a big disconnect from their identity and relationships in general. The emotional neglect from their birth mother and the autism have mixed together in the worst way possible and emotions are just never something they really Get.

I think especially in early adulthood they dont really have anywhere where they truly feel like they belong- So they kinda just fuck off to do whatever. They don’t see much of a need to communicate with anyone, mostly cuz i dont think it clicks in their head that people might Want to know about that stuff GAHAHAHAAHA

this is hard on ukd and the twins who end up feeling like mari just…. slips in and out of their lives so easily 💔 DO NOT FRET THOUGH!!!!! They do visit and they improve at communicating over time….their letters are still Corporate email core but they’re more frequent at least. And they eventually come back to corona for good to take over the library when var and hugo retire

Uhhhh I think thats it for rn this is kind of just me screaming incoherently but this ask has made me start working on a new art post abt the ukd kids FOR THE MASSES. 🤞🤞🤞🤞 i need you guys to understand my autistic brainwaves. Heres some incorrect quotes i did with them also cuz they’re sillyyyyyy

#tangled the series #rapunzels tangled adventure #tangled kids #alina #ryder #ilmari #pansy rambling again #tts headcanons #uknighted dream #unknighted dream #ukd kids #tangled ask #ask

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goodluckclove · 8 days ago

Note

clove my kind comrade. i have a very emotional writing advice question for you. this turned kinda long, i apologize

i've been working on college applications these last few months, with the majority of that time taking the form of essay writing. and in these months it has been discovered that, at least to my dad's standards, my normal nonfiction prose writing skills are absolutely abysmal. i would write a draft, think i had everything pretty much shiny and complete, only to have everything i had worked so hard to finish absolutely picked to shreds by my dad and told i needed to start over. and there's nuance to this; i do quite literally forget a lot of writing tips and processes that worked for me, and it took last week's adhd diagnosis 17 years too late for me to stop hating myself for not being able to write a 300 word essay in a week. but this has left deep scars on my psyche and sent me for the most intense mental heath loop ive had in years.

that all contributed to a very intense anxiety ive developed about writing. i'll open a wip (or hell start writing an ask) and i will feel such a sense of dread. it's like i'm reaching into an oven that i know i've burned myself on so many times before. i can barely write a sentence before i start overthinking things too much and give up. this is specifically talking about my own personal writing. five minutes ago i opened my most self-indulgent wip that only four people on earth would ever be allowed to see and felt such an overwhelming fear of "what if it's bad". "what if it doesn't read this way to people". i've never had that before. i write what i write, and it's generally pretty damn good. but the anxiety i have about these stupid college essays has bled into MY work, MY own fun projects.

essentially, what i'm asking you is if you can offer any advice of how to conquer this anxiety. i know that an essay and a gay little fanfiction are fundamentally different things that cannot be equated with each other, and i know that other people's opinion on what is ultimately a self indulgent project can be easily and happily disregarded. but i can't have a self indulgent project if i can't even bring myself to physically write it.

this turned into a vent lmao. i hope you and Wife and the cats are doing splendidly.

Hi Bas! This ask made me deeply angry when I read it last night! Shame from artists, especially young artists just starting out in life and in their craft, apparently provokes a pretty deep rage in my soul.

I'm fine now. I'm at a coffee shop. Thank you for a pretty vulnerable and heartfelt insight into your brain-space, and I'm going to give it a pretty long and ramble-y response because that's what it deserves - and honestly, you've known me for long enough that I'm sure you kind of assume this is what's coming. Before that, though, I get the sense you're pretty anxious and drained. In the name of meeting your sincerity I would like to offer a look at the drawing my surrogate child demanded I draw for them after they saw the terrible Sonic the Hedgehog I drew from memory last night. Their prompt was "T4T Sonic/Shadow"

What do you think? I gave Shadow a wallet chain. I've never drawn fan art before but I do think going forward I'm going to give most, if not every famous IP I draw a wallet chain. This made me grin a lot because it's so fucking weird. Also it's not canon. Canonically Shadow would not smoke a blunt. Canonically Shadow the Hedgehog vapes.

Okay I made myself properly silly time for business. Come follow me into a hypothetical situation so I can talk to you (and anyone in your position - which is a lot of people your age) more intimately.

Okay, so I'm at a new coffee shop. It's open concept, fairly minimal an industrial in decor. I'm in this seated nook in the back at a bench by a large round table. The lighting is soft. There's a lot of plants and the baristas are like kind of anti-social which usually means the coffee is going to be great or pretty bad. Luckily it's the former - I got this iced maple cardamom latte. They have other drinks too. Tea. Your usual coffee varieties. They have a rosemary syrup you can put in lattes that I might try if I feel like I want another coffee later. Take my card and order something. I'll wait here.

You're back? What'd you get?

Mm. Fuck. I should've gotten that too. Nevermind, it's fine. I'll probably come back here again.

Okay, so college essays. I'm going to go ahead and just open by saying that college essays are absolutely not the same as nonfiction prose. Flat out, end of sentence. They're aren't apples and oranges - it's like comparing an apple and a used 2007 Honda Accord.

Good nonfiction means different things to different people. I personally enjoy a bit of humor and love for a subject, even if it's mundane to most of society. My wife prefers a Wikipedia-level of dry Academia. Different strokes.

College admission essays, however, are not good. They're really not. From a vague amount of research it seems this has been an issue for decades now.

You can still write like a bad college essay, don't get me wrong. Something riddled with typos or dribbled out by a generative AI. But if you look a little bit at what the people who actually check applications are, it seems the spectrum isn't "bad to great" as much as it is "bad to fine". My own college essay was some bullshit about how I learned about myself and the world around me by going to the grocery store before school and buying a baguette to have for lunch. It was stupendously mediocre. I got into college.

There's a lot of reasons for this. It could be because the average 17-18 year old isn't given the tools or opportunity to write really solid nonfiction - probably because the society we live in doesn't expect them to have anything to contribute in that way, but that's beside the point. You're taught essays. Ways to format papers that, from what I gather, only really apply in academic settings. When I was in high school the average essay had pretty stark parameters students were expected to follow, and from what I've heard those parameters have only gotten more specific.

With all that in mind, I understand why you're freaked out. If you look up tips on solid college essays the advice is like just comically vague. Be authentic! Focus on deeper themes! Pose a philosophical question! That last one actually made me laugh out loud when I read it, because it's so insanely discordant compared to how I've seen people you're age be treated. To go straight from people assuming you need your hand held on nearly anything to having a person say "Hey solve nihilism in 450 words " is baffling.

There's real advice in this odd, clickbait-y quips. You shouldn't feel like you have to play a character or pretend to be something you don't want to do, because that comes across in the text pretty easily. You should consider exploring a topic, because it reveals more about you as a person and that's valuable to the application as a whole. You - I'm going to go out and say you don't need to pose any sort of philosophical quandary at all, actually. That's a pretty wild thing to ask a huge portion of New Adults to be able to do.

So this isn't nonfiction. This isn't a think piece or a memoir, even though people might compare it to both. This is closer to a cover letter. You should still try, but do so knowing this is separate from your skills as a writer. Once you do that, you'll hopefully be able to relax enough to actually let your character slip into the work. What you mainly want to do is express a sense of your voice and sort of imply an idea of the type of presence you would be as a student at your school of choice. That's the point of the application as a whole. It's not going to win a Pulitzer. It would be truly, very weird if an admissions essay won a Pulitzer.

The other thing that I think might be making you and people in your shoes feel crazy is that you're in the period of your life when a lot of adults around you are going to say just the wackest nonsense. Oh this application determines the rest of your life! The stakes have never been higher! This is your future! You're setting the entire course of the rest of your life right now, somehow!

That obviously is also not true. Next year will be a decade since I graduate high school, and I still actually have no idea why some people had that level of intensity. It strikes me as incredibly counter-productive. I explained this to my kid, and they were shocked when I told them how many paths there are to get a higher education. You can get your first few years at a community college and then go to a university. You can go to a polytech school (They make them for the arts too! my brother went to Cogswell and it was such a cool campus) and get straight into industry experience. You might get into a university and transfer to a different one because it has a better program or opportunity.

All of these are cool. Not going to college is also cool, although it comes with other pitfalls. You can also go to college later on down the line. If you haven't figured it out yet, existing in the world is actually really flexible and open in terms of life choices. A college application, essay included, is not likely to play a huge part in the grand scheme of your life. The results of this will give you a sort of better understanding of your options for a plan for the next - like - year, maybe? It won't even determine it. It's more of a cool, maybe or a cool, I guess not right now situation.

It's also way harder for most people to work with a smaller word count. Less words mean less margin for error. That's stressful. You aren't a failure for struggling to write 300 words in a week when you can't choose the parameters of the writing, can't change the deadline, and probably have a bunch of people saying how crazy important all this is. Those are batshit work conditions for someone who doesn't have ADHD.

For someone who does, I can see how easily this would warp the perspective you have on everything else you do. Being picked apart by someone who hasn't been where you are in like 20+ years but still expects you to take their words as gospel? Confusing! Maybe feeling the inexplicable need to compare yourself to any published nonfiction you've read and loved, even though this isn't even nonfiction - and if it was, those writers have definitely been working in the genre longer than just goddamned now.

I think I've told a few people your age that this is the point where you kind of have to pick and choose how often you listen to the adults in your life. That feels irresponsible for me to say, but I do stand by it. When it comes to the transition between high school and college, most established adults are just crazy biased. Maybe because they raised you. Maybe because they're blinded by nostalgia and think that high school was the best part of their lives. Maybe they aren't familiar with the work you want to go into and what's needed to get a start in it. Or they could just straight up not understand how the college system works now.

It is such bullshit that you eventually have to craft a sense of internal intuition out of essentially nothing but it is a thing. It takes time, though. I won't pretend like you can make it happen immediately right now.

What matters is that you're okay. I promise you that - you're okay. Looking you straight in the eye, Bas, you're a good writer. Not "good for your age", I have read enough of your actual writing to know that you're pretty solid already. I've also read enough of your posts and had conversations with you to know for certain that if you wanted to pursue nonfiction you'd be pretty good at it right off the bat. This would be under the usual standards of a nonfiction writer, of course - meaning you get to pick the length, subject, and when you finish it.

You are in the unfortunate period of going through multiple transitions at once. It's hard enough to navigate the way relationships change when people decide (or struggle to process) how you're an "adult" now (also not really true in a lot of ways, but that's another ramble). But going so long under the assumption of having a Default Brain Experience and then realizing that all of the struggles you assumed were normal are actually an imbalance of chemicals is jarring.

It's treatable, yes. Once you get on a medication that helps with the dopamine everything is immeasurably easier, holy shit. But even then it's still painful at times because the difference is so palpable you sometimes stop and think why did it take so long for me to be able to have this? Why did no one see I was struggling? That was my experience, at least.

This is a crucial point in life where you have to be extra kind to yourself however you can. Once you get on stimulants, if you go that way, drink a lot of water and remember to eat (Some of them can make appetite wonky and I think they all dehydrate you). Be careful with caffeine because they do make you more sensitive to that. Maybe like just stop thinking about whether or not your writing is bad or doesn't work in certain ways because I am a Professional Writer and those kinds of thoughts have literally never been helpful to me. When they pop up in my brain I literally say "no" and force myself to think about something else.

Whether your writing is "good" is not an actual question. Is it coherent and does it contain a noticeable and unique voice? Yes. Is it what you want? I can't answer that, but if you say no the way to fix that is usually read more/write more/think more/share with other more.

Also does it read the way it should to other people? Stop it. Don't worry about that yet. You have to finish the damn thing or else it won't read any way to anyone. So much of writing is Second Draft You's problem.

Anyways that's all I have to say. My heart goes out to you for being pulled in so many directions. From my own experience it gets slightly easier once you submit the apps, but people do continue saying dumb nonsense until like midway into your first year in college. And if you end up leaving college for some reason or another people will keep occasionally saying dumb nonsense. But usually by then you're more equipped to ignore them.

You're going to be okay. You are an intelligent, insightful, artistically capable and deeply kind individual. Whether you share your thoughts and make your stories, true or not, through text or art or a mix of both, you have so much to offer. Just remember that.

Also I'm hungry. I've been writing this for a while and I didn't get any work done on the painting for my wife, but it's almost noon and I didn't have breakfast. There's an American Chinese place near here and they have pretty cheap lunch specials. Come on, get your stuff and let's take a break.

Mongolian beef yum yum.

#writeblr #aspiring writers #writing advice #this is a big one #i've been wanting to say it for a while

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phamminji · 2 years ago

Text

distraction

ahn yujin x fem!reader

synopsis: you came over to ive's dorm to help yujin with her practice paper, or that's what you thought.

wc: 2.23k

yujin looks over to her door, hearing a few knocks as she sees your head peeking in, "i'm back with a drink for you... and some snacks."

"did you get my matcha ice cream?" yujin's eyes glimmered over to yours as you walked over to her study table.

"baby... it's literally 3 degrees outside right now. and you still want to get green tea ice cream?"

"it's matcha! and yes." yujin corrected you.

"they're the same thing baby." as you rolled your eyes and shook your head at your girlfriend's antics. "i didn't get you matcha ice cream. but i did get you matcha latte." as you placed the cup and the coaster beside her.

"that works... i guess..." yujin trailed off.

"you guess?" your voice raised a little along with your eyebrow, as you give the puppy-like girl a teasing poke on the side. to which she yelped and held onto her waist, "okay okay! thank you very much for the tea, babe." you chuckled as she gave you a cheeky eye smile.

"how's your paper going?" as you placed your chin on the top of the taller's head, wrapping your arms around her shoulders.

"hm... i'm just doing okay so far... i have about four more questions left though."

"four?" as you leaned closer, looking at her paper to see if she was telling the truth. "that's really fast, yujin. you have about half an hour left though, you sure you don't want to take your time?"

"no... i just want to get this done with... you know how much i dislike studying." yujin grumbled and flopped her arms in the air.

"i know... but you still have to get this paper done. it's important."

"alright..." yujin groaned. "can you sit beside me though?" as the taller glanced over at you with puppy eyes that were all too familiar to you, but would still send butterflies to your stomach whenever she looked at you like that.

"as long as i'm not a distraction to you."

"you could never be a distraction to me y/n." yujin held your hand and gently pulled you to the seat next to hers. "by the way, what are the other girls doing?" yujin questioned.

the thing is, yujin had actually gave you and gaeul the task to watch over the other members while she was doing the paper. however, to gaeul's dismay, you joined the chaos rei and leeseo created and almost drove the oldest mad. well, it actually did drive her mad, and that's why she sent you into yujin's room. although she knew she shouldn't be sending a distraction to yujin, gaeul knew it was definitely easier to handle one less kid, so she decided to let her leader settle her own girlfriend.

"gaeul is handling rei and hyunseo, and i think wonyoung and jiwon are ordering dinner for us." you answered as you got into the seat.

"you're staying for dinner?" in which you replied with a nod.

"yeah, it's getting late anyways... i was also planning to stay over tonight. is... that okay with you?" you cautiously asked.

yujin smiles widely to herself as she finds the way you tilt your head kinda cute. "yeah! of course it's okay! it's been quite a while since you last stayed over because of our busy promotions. and i think the girls miss you a lot too."

"only the girls? not you?" you send her a playful eyebrow raise.

"i missed you most."

your eyes widened slightly as you almost doubted your ears for a second. it wasn't the answer you expected from yujin and it definitely caught you by surprise. more or less, you expected her to snark back at you with another comment, teasing you. like "i didn't miss you though." or "yeah, only the girls missed you." along with her tongue sticking out or her signature eye smile, laughing together with you.

this time, you could tell from yujin's voice that she was being genuine. of course, she is genuine about you all the time.

not that she isn't serious when it comes to your relationship. but it just hits different when you know how playful and mischievous the woman sitting beside you can get is now being sincere and baring her heart to you.

you felt your cheeks heating a little as you avoided eye contact from your girlfriend.

"oh... is that so?" you cleared your throat, feeling a little bashful under her gaze.

"aw is someone getting shy?" yujin teased as she poked your cheek with her finger.

"no. shut up." you denied.

"your ears are getting red though. and you're blushing." as if poking your cheeks weren't enough. now, yujin, with one hand, squished your cheeks and cooed, "you're so cute."

"stop..." you weakly said, unable to pronounce the word properly with your cheeks squished together.

"what if i don't want to stop...?" yujin says in a sing-song tone.

now, this is the yujin you were used to. yujin, the jokester, the yujin who would always take the chance to make fun of you at all costs, the yujin who always made you and loved seeing you flustered, the yujin who always makes everything positive, the yujin who showed her love in forms of pranks.

"as much as i miss you too, i forgot we shouldn't be talking." you recalled.

"huh?"

"the paper, yujin." as you remind her of what she was supposed to be doing.

"i don't really care." yujin said nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders as you gave it a light smack.

"shush. you don't have much time left. focus on your work, we'll talk after you finish your paper."

you expected a hum or a complain to come from your girlfriend, but it never came. so you looked back up at her, only to find her staring at you.

"quit staring at me an yujin. or i will leave the room." you threatened half-jokingly.

"you can't and i know you wouldn't do that." yujin said with a grin.

"is that... a challenge?" you provoked as you stood up from your chair.

"i wouldn't do that if i were you." warned yujin.

"oh... what are you going to do about it?" you said in a teasing tone.

yujin grabs hold of your hand and pulls you into her lap, as you sat sideways against her chest. you try to push yourself up to get away from her but her arms kept a grip on you, locking you there. "now you're stuck here with me." as she smirks at you.

"yujin!" you fussed and gave her another smack on the shoulder, "you have to finish your paper!"

"i'm already done... but i just want to keep you here." as yujin wrapped her arms tighter around your torso.

"you're done already?" you exclaimed in shock. "let me check."

your girlfriend handed you her papers before going back to her previous position, nestling her face into your shoulder.

"you know this isn't just some school entrance exam or those kind of tests. this is your university scholarship. this a big big major test. you know that, right?"

to which, yujin responded, mumbling against your collarbone, "mhm, i know."

"do you want to eat some of the snacks i brought while i go over your paper?" as you felt yujin shaking her head.

you felt warmth spreading across your body when she continued, "i just want to stay here with you."

"alright."

you almost went through the full paper when you felt yujin's head slipping off your shoulder, before she bobbed her head back up.

"are you feeling sleepy? you look tired." you asked.

"nope... just a little hungry but i want to wait till dinner." you caressed her cheek with your thumb before putting your focus back on the paper.

"by the way, baby... can i get a reward?

"a reward for...?" your eyes not leaving the paper as you were left marking a few more questions.

"the paper."

"okay... just let me finish up first, i'm almost done. i'm left with a few more questions." as you tried to assure her.

"i can't wait anymore..." yujin complained as she started to draw imaginary circles against your back.

"are you trying to distract me as i'm marking the papers?" you jokingly look at her as she has a pout on her face.

"wipe that pout off your face, you big baby. i told you i'm almost done, and now, i'm done." as you patted her head, complimenting her, "you did a really good job, baby. you did better than yesterday's paper."

"can i get my reward now?" yujin pops up, as if she just freshened up hearing the fact that you're finally done marking.

"reward? um... what do you want?" you just had to ask the obvious, although yujin already had her lips puckered in front of you.

"a kiss? is that what you want?" you raised your eyebrow when yujin shook her head.

"one for every question." yujin states.

"a kiss for every question? t-that's..." you stuttered, many thoughts flying through your mind, "that's a lot of questions... you want a kiss for every single one of them?" as yujin nodded her head, her eyes were already closed, ready and waiting for you to kiss her.

you could feel your heart beating so fast that you couldn't get a decent breath. it wasn't your first time kissing yujin so why were you feeling so nervous?

yujin felt your breath on her cheeks as she opened her eyes, growing slightly impatient that you haven't kissed her yet. she takes hold of one of your hands and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"are you okay, babe?"

"um... y-yeah! just... i- i love you so much."

"woah..." this time, it was yujin's turn to be surprised. was that the first time you said that to her? yujin felt her heart swelling in happiness, her hand around your waist, and the other, moving it to your face, and rubbed your cheek fondly in habit.

"i love you too." as yujin drew herself closer to you, you closed your eyes, feeling the soft, warmth of her lips against your own.

yujin's lips were addicting, whether be it the way her lips moved against yours or her strawberry-flavored chapstick, you couldn't stop going back for more.

yujin's hands now finding ways to pull you closer, the tugs on your shirt, her hands on your back and the nape of your neck. your hands wrapped around yujin's neck as they naturally find their way to her hair.

"you guys. dinner's here- WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!" the two of you pulled away at the speed of lightning as you hear the door to yujin's room open wide, but it's already too late.

"where are your manners, rei? don't you know how to knock? and mind your language." yujin chided with her face flushed, obviously embarrassed that one of her members had just walked into them making out.

on the other hand, your face was burning. making out with yujin was already a factor that sent all the blood in your bloodstream to your cheeks, but getting caught by one of your girlfriend's members? truthfully, you could have just passed out, there and there.

"well... can't you guys get a room maybe...?"

"hello? news flash. we are in a room? now, get out."

"i was just telling you guys that dinner's here, by the way. you should come out to eat some food unless the two of you are already full since you ate too much of each other's lips that you're no longer hungry!" rei lets out a few evil chuckles as you felt your face flaring up at her words, trying to hide in yujin's embrace.

"rei, i said get out."

"jeez... alright! i'm going! i know you guys can't wait to be sucking each other's faces again." hiding in yujin's embrace wasn't enough, you had to be buried in her embrace.

rei was about to close the door when she held it open with her arm and puckered her lips, making kissy noises, mocking her leader.

"alright, that's it." yujin took off her slipper and hurled it at the japanese girl. lucky for rei, she managed to close the door before getting hit by the slipper.

"you see y/n/n, this is how violent your girlfriend is." you heard rei's voice from the other side of the door.

yujin shouted back, "do you want the other slipper to come flying right on your face, you little-"

"baby." you took yujin's hand in yours and squeezed it. "it's okay." you were sure you were exactly a mirror image of yujin, seeing how flushed she got too.

"but she-"

she couldn't finish her sentence as she got interrupted by your lips, "you can handle her later, or you can ask gaeul to do it. can we... kiss again?"

no matter how many times you've kissed yujin, it always feels like it's your first time. how she makes you feel nervous although you have dated her for a while now. how her breath smelled like the matcha latte you brought for her. or her perfume, smelt just the one she sprayed on the first time you kissed. how her lips are softer than anything you've ever known. like biting into cotton candy, it's effortlessly sweet.

"guess i was a distraction in the end anyways."

this one's for silan bestie @silantryoo :]

#yujin x reader #yujin imagines #an yujin x reader #ahn yujin x reader #ive x reader #ive imagines #ive scenarios #mango's fics

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beyondmistland · 8 months ago

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I read through all your posts about Alysanne Targaryen as Maegor's daughter and am now in a rabbit hole. Thank you. I've been thinking about Maegor's wives and which one of Henry VIII's wives they represent. Ceryse is Cathrine of Aragon and Alys is Anne Boleyn. The others are hard to pin for me since there isn't a lot. What do you think? Would Maegor's reign have been more interesting if his marriages had more similarities to those of Henry VIII?

I think this is where we run into a number of problems regarding the way GRRM wrote Fire & Blood specifically and the way he setup Westeros more generally.

For one, the fairly homogenized nature of southron culture as well as the oversimplification of religious institutions and history means you can't quite get the same dynamism as from real life European history, with its dizzying array of languages, cultures, cuisines, fashions, etc., to mention nothing of the then-ongoing Protestant Reformation. I suppose GRRM could have had Maegor convert to the Old Gods a la Julian (II) the Apostate or the Drowned God (you just know the Ironborn are the one race on the surface of Planetos that would say King Maegor the Good with a completely straight face) or even R'hllor, which would be the best choice in terms of worldbuilding opportunities in my opinion.

Moving on, we run into a handful of problems with Maegor specifically, one of them being the length of his reign. Look, while I can't deny Maegor ruling for 6 years and 66 days is incredibly cheeky, it also isn't anywhere close to Henry VIII's 36 years as king. With so little room timeline-wise, there isn't a lot of flexibility when it comes to telling new stories and fleshing out preexisting ones and all that is before you factor in Maegor himself.

I won't hold back. For all GRRM's talk of moral ambiguity, the human heart in conflict with itself, good men who were bad kings and bad men who were good kings, etc., his Targaryen monarchs are, for the most part, numbingly one-note. Aegon I is a literal enigma, Aenys is weak, Maegor cruel, Viserys I a party animal, Aegon II and Rhaenyra mirror-images of each other in their disqualifying vices, etc. As I've written before with my post reimagining Maegor as more of a Ivan (IV) the Terrible figure there was room to make him a genuinely controversial figure of historiography but instead GRRM doubled down on sensationalism and apathy-inducing slasher porn for lack of a better word. The fact Maegor is also the first and last of Visenya's line just adds more salt to the wound but that's part of GRRM's more general (and for me personally, vexing) habit of keeping family trees incredibly small.

(I do recall another alternative someone once brought up to the late Steven Attewell. Namely, turning Maegor into the Westerosi version of Macbeth by way of Der Untergang.)

This brings me to my semifinal point. GRRM didn't have to write Fire & Blood as Procopius' Secret History on steroids with a dash of Suetonius' Lives of Twelve Caesars and I, Claudius (the entire Saera episode is practically lifted wholesale from the scandal that envelops Augustus' daughter, Julia) but he did, which is doubly disappointing because not only does the final product suck quality-wise as a result but also because there were so many other avenues available to him.

He could have written Fire & Blood as a proper history (with less focus on the sex lives of teenage girls for one) or as a mirror for princes or as a dialogue between two characters or even as a character study. You can even see GRRM struggling with the constraints imposed by his use of Gyldayn in certain sections like the death of Maelor and the entire Hour of the Wolf episode, where you get reams of dialogue and characterization as well as more traditional narrative trappings like build-up, mood setting, etc.

Now, to answer your actual question (lol), I don't think any of Henry VIII's other wives map well onto Maegor's. Tyanna is, more or less, his female counterpart in terms of cruelty and zero redeeming features and entirely a fantasy construct. Elinor and Jeyne are both married to Maegor for only a year (with poor Jeyne dying in childbirth because Jeyne Westerlings, like the Brackens, Peakes, and Florents, cannot catch a break in Westeros) and before said marriage takes place neither appears on the page. As for Rhaena, well, credit where its due, she was a rare (and unexpected) highlight of Fire & Blood.

Thanks for the question, anon

#maegor the cruel #house targaryen #asoiaf criticism #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #asoiaf #asoiaf themes #maegor targaryen #fire and blood #volume 1

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batsplat · 2 months ago

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omgg i started following you because i loved your motogp posts and i did not expect to get emotionally attacked about my tennis fave like this. you've lit expressed everything ive felt abt tennis lately like daniil's return game has developed so well these last few years if only his shoulders were still functional he wld be soo unstoppable (i remember like last 2 year-ish when his serve suddenly went to shit and i was like wtf is going on?? but then it turned out his shoulders don' work anymore😭😭😭) ngl i did not expect him to make it to the ao finals this yr at all but then he did and i started getting hope again and then well uk what happened next... (i actually went to bed when he was up 2 sets because i alrdy had premonitions for what was abt to happen and i didnt need that experience twice 😭) anyways i finally quit watching the men's tour reguarly middle of this yr-ish because mostly because my biggest opp started winning big tournanments/slams consistently and i cld not take it anymore (part of why i got into motogp ig, i needed a new thing to fill in the hole)

also ur thing being having to be the chosen one in men's tennis is soo true but i wld argue it cld even be broadened down to being in the chosen generation... every 90s born player doomed to be seen as the weak links of the sport, both forever destined to be surpassed by those who came before and those who came after...

anyways mostly i also just wanted to thank you for writing all your super information motogp posts!! not only is ur writing style super informative/consistent, all the topics u've written abt feel super unique like i doubt i wld ever randomly stumble elsewhere. i'm not that good w/ words so idk how to fully express my appreciation, but your posts are the main reason i started delving into more past motogp races and interviews instead of just sticking to current ones which has 1000% made my experience of becoming a motogp fan more enjoyable!

🥺🥺 such a nice ask from a fellow sufferer... I actually tried to sleep in for the ao final and managed for like. maybe a set. it's so funny to have a whole fanbase quite literally begging their player not to go up two sets to love, zero hindsight needed I was HORRIFIED by that second set going his way... especially since I noticed the balance of play in the actual games had changed and meddy wasn't winning any return points anymore, just relying on an earlier break to seal that set iirc. and then I started going for increasingly desperate tactics to distract myself when the inevitable happened in the next three sets (including rewatching marc marquez: all in, it was rough man, like I get what you're saying about getting into motogp to escape because generally I too have fled to this sport whenever tennis has most been pissing me off)

and obviously that final was very trauma flashbacks to my definitive sports trauma, a match I'm STILL not over and at this rate have accepted I'll be miserable about until the day I die. but this time I couldn't even BLAME him because it was an insane effort to even get to the final, he'd done such a fantastic job given his tennis really wasn't there at the start of the tournament, he just kept figuring out ways to win... the hurkacz match where he basically ran out of fuel in the fourth, that crazy semifinal where he just refused to know when he was beaten, and then taking two sets off sinner in that final!! the resilience and the grit but also the tactical acumen, like my god when he blindsided hurkacz by radically altering his return position RIGHT AFTER doing that post-match back-and-forth with courier where he explained in detail why he favoured his regular return position. the cleverness and the bravery he showed in clutch points in that semi, something that zverev is completely incapable of (monte carlo 2023 still lives rent free lol), like the psychology of that match slapped. how he took it so sinner, completely caught him off guard by mixing up his game, and it was WORKING. really managed to change the dynamic of that match up... he lost that match first and foremost in his legs. just so cruel after everything. we had the guy who easily disposed of an admittedly rubbish djokovic in the semis on the ropes. and it still. was. not. fucking. enough. one of the best slam final runs in recent memory and it still wasn't enough!! he's already far outperformed what he SHOULD have been capable of in his career and somehow he keeps developing a game style which should have plateaued ages ago and I have so much respect for the work him and gilles have done post-2022... and he really should have more to show for it

anyway yeah I remember the serve decline in 2022, back when I was really in the weeds with analysing meddy's game. and that was also the year it felt like his legs completely deserted him. his deciding set record that year was horrific after ao, very rarely even got it that far win or lose and when he did so almost always lost (karatsev was cramping, let's not talk about the other third set win)

scorelines from the tour finals genuine miracle i did not throw myself into the sea

only one four set match post-ao and he also lost that, incidentally. and obviously that was partly because his brain was fucked, BUT I also wondered whether it was the aftereffects of the hernia operation that year affecting both the physicality and the serve. and I can't remember if he confirmed that anywhere but the theory's certainly cottoned on to help explain the serve decline, even if his endurance obviously has massively improved again. and then add in the shoulder... it's so brutal because it used to be such a key pillar to his game, like the whole magic was tied together by being able to whizz through his own service games while making his opponent's return games hellish

and like,, the thing I really admire about him is that there was a period in 2022 where it did feel like he'd been 'figured out', like there was increasingly a game plan that could be used against him. serve and volley, etc etc. but to some extent, he's managed to resist just being written off when facing elite competition BECAUSE he keeps coming up with ways to throw his opponents off-balance. what he's been doing this year, for all that it hasn't gotten him great results, has been so much fun to watch - really reminded me of his summer/autumn 2019 stretch where he'd played so much he should've constantly been at risk of keeling over of exhaustion but adapted to it by just becoming a completely different player. wawrinka uso 2019 match still goes crazyyyy, one of his most underrated performances. serve and volley in the uso 2019 final I wanna run to u. it's such a wonderfully unique game that's frankensteining all these unique parts together that all sort of shouldn't work but all sort of do, harnessed and constantly reinvented by (let's face it) the smartest top player currently in the game. and it really does piss me off that he hasn't been rewarded more. he's been the best of the rest since 2019, he's absolutely maximised his game for someone who doesn't have that stratospheric big three-level of talent and I WANT it to actually matter. but men's tennis will always see talent triumphing over guile I fear, and meddy has consistently been a victim of poor timing

and yeah, the generational aspect is true, where the entire ''''''''nextgen''''''''' cohort has essentially been doomed - partly because they just weren't good enough, but partly because they arrived at just the right time window to still be thoroughly traumatised by the big three without getting any kind of a break before the next super talents showed up. until 2022 I really did naively believe we were getting a chaos era of SOME kind until that decrepit spanish ghoul showed up in australia to trample all over my soul and give me depression, and then immediately another bloody spaniard started going at it. how can you not be a little bit bitter that alcaraz got to swan to his first slam title without having to face a single member of the big three? idk man like sometimes it really is the magic of sports that the anointed few don't just have talent on their side, they are also fantastically lucky. you see it with how the big three all secured their first slams... things just seem to work out somehow. infuriating and existentially horrifying

anyway. lol. as you can see I do always have a tennis rant in me. will always be a major part of my life, obviously something I have a far far better understanding of than any other sport, still keep up with the women's game fairly closely... where icl it helps that the players I'm most invested in have dropped off SO badly this year, partly due to injury, that I can merrily ignore their existence. plus, and this bit is crucial, I don't loathe the players who actually win things. so I'm in a happy place where I just enjoy the sport and (if anything) want Certain top players to do better than they currently are... but also don't lose any sleep over the results. like, have I been massively frustrated with iga this year? yes, but it's also not made me stare at a wall for five hours. also, it's just been a way better product than this predictable basher servebot shit from the men. women's wimbledon semi day THE best tennis day of the year, prove me wrong. they've had actual classic matches, which the men have been noticeably short on. just sort of been an odd season for the men, with djokovic shrivelling and alcaraz patchy outside of two slams and sinner doing his whole 'I'm not a cardboard cut out I'm a REAL boy' routine on his way to fifty hard court titles and everyone else irrelevant. as I've already said... it's fine. whatever. hope the sport enjoys fifty thousand alcaraz/sinner slam wins as the earth keeps turning around the sun and eventually we all turn to dust. it's fine

and seriously, thank you for everything in the ask... always happy to hear I've made someone's fan experience like. better. and that I add something a little bit different to the mix lol, also literally no compliment I like to read more than anything to do with my actual writing. because this ask was so lovely, here's my personal favourite moment as a tennis fan this year:

still think that australian open title should be restored to us

#“my biggest opp started winning big tournaments/slams consistently” REAL that bit kinda broke me #athletes who are super good and u get no real sense of why they care whether they win or lose like?? i hate u #when he said he was thinking on the flight back from ao what he should've done better in the first two sets... literally fuck off #'oh he's just introverted' iga's also introverted and she seems to take severe psychological damage every other week. as it should be #//#batsplat responds #but do have to confess: before late last year i did generally root for him against alcaraz out of a sort of enemy of my enemy impulse #remember when he used to be our pigeon </3 #last time sinner was funny was when medvedev yawned while walking past him during changeover as the italian crowd went nuts #medvedev's fuck southern europe tour of late 2021 u will ALWAYS be famous #getting the french the italians AND the spaniards to boo you within like a month? last time i felt alive #he was dropping banger after banger back then... remember his 'it's easier to enjoy life when you have no brain' monologue about the french #the record books may write him off as a single slam champ but the streets will NEVER forget

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ashe-stxr · 29 days ago

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RIDDLEBIRD VN CGS 6/16

Edward has taken to letting off some steam by endlessly complaining about the other guests, tearing them apart by insulting every little thing about them that annoyed him.

Oswald's too tired to do much else but listen, amusedly watching him as he gesticulates wildly, only cutting in whenever Edward manages to miss something.

i am so so SO sorry for disappearing for a couple weeks,, between gaining a cherik hyperfixation, stressing about the election results, and losing power for several days, i havent exactly been in the creative mood lately 😭(lowkey i also kinda forgot about this blog whoops) i believe i said somewhere that i was planning on having the CGs done by the end of november, but its looking like the end of the year now (i sure fucking hope so at least, seeing as i have the month of december off from work for the holidays)

however, on the good news side of things: i think i have someone who will be doing the music for the visual novel !!! which, quite frankly was the thing that gave me the push to start working on the cgs again, because that is a HUGE weight taken off of my shoulders. dont get me wrong, ive enjoyed making music in the past, but i would have to learn a whole new program in order to do the things i want. and at this point i think it would be better both for me and everyone who plays this game if i just got the help of my friend who literally went to college for music instead of just stumbling through making amateur songs

(anyways, now its time to talk about the CGs lmao)

this is the last CG of the confession route !! which means that not only is this the first of the 4 routes that has all the lineart done for it, but this is also one of the last super romantic CGs thats in chapter 1... im gonna miss drawing them happy and in love 😭 but thats what i get for prioritizing the confession route

fun fact: this CG set is the 3rd largest one with a total of 23 pictures ! although thats going to change in the final product cause 8 of them are placeholders for the animation im planning on making. also the 1st and 2nd largest sets have 28 and 25(?) because for some reason i decided to make them the most complicated they could be LMAOO

and since im posting this the day after thanksgiving, i just wanted to say thank you to everyone that has taken an interest in this project so far <33 i never thought i would get this far along in this project and i hope people enjoy playing it when i release it for playtesting. ive wanted to make a visual novel for years now, so the fact that im actually doing it now (even if its going slower then i wanted) is just absolutely crazy to me :]]

#nygmobblepot #riddlebird #oswald cobblepot #the penguin #edward nygma #the riddler #gotham #gotham 2014 #riddlebird vn

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sophiethewitch1 · 2 months ago

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hey sophie! ive been listening to the www playlist a lot lately and was wondering if you could bust out ur playlist thesis? however much ur cool with sharing!! would love to hear your thoughts hehe. also, are there any bonus tracks we can listen to from the big og playlist?

i want you to know that for this entire post I was doing this

absolutely constantly. raving maniac mode. under the cut so i don't make everyone hate me for all the bullshit im about to spout and like some cough cough future hints. No actual spoilers but like... vibes and things that are obvious. Me telling you there will be yandere things in the yandere story, shock horror. These songs are the trailers/animatics in my head so uh. It's kind of hard to explain them without that (which is why I literally CAN NOT) for a couple of them lol. Oh!!!! And I've also got some other songs that really should've made the playlist but I just didn't add for some reason. Laziness or whatever. One's literally called birthday party. I uh. Don't think I need to explain that one.

But also I just like, whatever who cares if some of the songs on there aren't ones I 100% associate w what we want so here's the full playlist live your dreams. Most of them I associate at least a moderate bit. BUt under here is the fucking essay I've somehow written lmao I lost my mind somewhere along the way.

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WHAT YOU GONNA DO??? By Bastille and Graham Coxon is first on the playlist for a reason. It's sort of like, similar to the rocking feeling of what being cramped on the subway was like to me? And it's a song that's pretty obvious with the lyric comparisons. The 'you' in the title IS you! What are you gonna do? You have us (Gotham, the world, the batfam) listening, so what are you gonna do with it? And it matches readers future response quite well I think. And it feels like something that a superhero would have in the background, which certainly helps.

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Keep You Mine by NOTD and Shy Martin was actually just one of those songs you were listening to on loop at the time you were doing a thing, and then became intrinsically linked to that thing, but it still represent WWW quite well! It matches more so the later acts of the story, where you and the boys will have some issues staying together with eachother. But it's still poppy and romantic in tone!! Because you guys and your relationship, despite everything that'll happen, you want to keep each other y'know? And reader's like possessive and jealous in a cutesy way to offset how absolutely psycho bonkers the guys will end up being... But I also feel this too matches the superhero vibes? Somehow? The fight on of it... You must keep fighting, for each other!

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Tinfoil Hat by Dolo Tonight is like,,, about the frustration of being a Gotham resident I suppose (or anyone living in late stage capitalism with a mental illness) but especially you! Since you totally fucking got ripped from one universe to another and um, i don't know if you've noticed this yet but... there seems to be some issues with readers idols??? Seeing as you love the waynes but hate the bats. Please duck under the comically large chekov's gun and come this way. Also because reader for a little bit does geniunely think she's crazy and need to go to the psychiatrist but obviously thinks that is the worst idea ever because the gotham mental health system is really just prison. and it's a prison with her nemesis. not the place to be.

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Live, Learn, Die by Lavin is pretty obvious too, but in a much sadder tone. Reader as a character has at this point come to a conclusion that I'm sure many of us do in their lifetime (I know I have at least) which is that... things suck, and then you die. She doesn't want to die, but she doesn't really particularly actually want to live, she's just so damn focused on survival she's never actually even had the time to realise that. This other version of her who didn't have 24/7 adrenaline running in her body was obviously significantly worse off and seemed... off. If everyone you love is dead, is surviving for them even worth it anymore? She's still learning, so maybe she'll learn something different this time...?

Next song is a spoiler so skipping it <3! Lmfao interpret this however you'd like

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Thelma + Louise By Bastille is a song about a scene that I am so damn eager to get to which unfortunately is in act fucking 3 which is my favourite but like. Suffering I am suffering :) Anyways I can't tell you too much about it because of but I will say that it's a road trip between you, Dick and Jason! It's very fun and absolutely no complex feelings are involved whatsoever. You meet Lucy the giant elephant (actual roadside attraction in new jersey lmfao). This song is Dick Grayson coded in like... mostly sunny vibes. Like the warmth the song gives, that's how you make him feel.

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Temper Temper by LimeCordiale is a song that is about... you and Jason... and his poor poor habit of enabling you. 'Me and my girlfriend that I let do whatever she wants to me because shes hot' core. Bruce sees the two of you in the landing and gets immediate d10 psychic damage it's impressive. Anyways if anyone ever angers you (which I'm sure they never ever ever will :)) he's probably going to be there to back you up, because 'you know that that's what I like'. That video of you punching George is private time material frankly.

Next song is ALSO a spoiler which um. cough. 😳 let's not look too deep at this one actually folks

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Werewolf By Quinn XCII. Ah yes, the yan in the yandere story. This one is ALSO about Jason but this is the most Jason coded song. I will say that this also features in the story at some point (you, Molly, Dick, Jason and some very poor suffering grunts). It's the lyrics. I've always said Jason is a loyal dog and I stand by it till the day I die. He also feels like a feral animal that constantly kind of wants to swallow you whole which is romantic I think <3 <4 But geniunely put that thing on a leash for the betterment of mankind. I mean you make them all feel like starving monsters Jason's the only one who has any self awareness unfortunately, which is why this is HIS song. Also because he'd be a werewolf, case close your honour. Dick'd be a vampire it's LITERALLY canon. WHat was I talking about

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Ghosts by The 1975 got on here because I heard the first line and went 'hA!' because it really do just be 'You... You always seem to get what you want.' and also the "You seem to get better" is fuckin. IT'S SO GOOD MAN! That's EXACTLY what the guys are thinking when the next few chapters start coming around which. Really were supposed to be out by now whoopsie but yknow like. Anyways you ARE gonna start working on things!!! You're gonna talk to Molly!! You're gonna get more flowers!!!!! God damn it, you're gonna get what you want!!!!!!!!!!!!! (at least this first bit oop)

Next two are spoilers again, but this time you absolutely won't be able to guess because they're both animatic inside my own brain so take that! And I mean you REALLY won't be able to guess they're great scenes can't wait for you to see em. I can't wait either tbh why am I writing these stupid filler scenes lmao. why can't i skip to the end of my 200k enemies to lovers slowburn just to write the final chapter (did this to herself)

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Together We're Screwed By Robotaki and Nevve is a song I've loved for ageeessssss bro because there is (to me at least) nothing more romantic than being a terrible horrible unredeemable person with the one you love. Hand in unlovable hand baby! That's like... the fic I guess, together the five of you are screwed. And it just matches that same earlier mentioned vibe of like... poppy kinda techno-y kinda superhero-y kinda loser-y. Listen to me, listen to me... This fic is about many things and I'll say it again and again and everytime it's true in a different way and this time it's true in this way. This fic is about being about being a loser and bad at everything and still managing to get what you want. Actually that might be what this fic is actually actually centrally about. 'We're both a mess, we just can't get it right. Together we're screwed. I'm looking at you, I'm looking at you~' like, be a mess!

And now we're at the exciting new

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Birthday Party by AJR is like the equivalent of what would be a canon event for this au. Your birthday HAS to happen and it HAS to suck ass and all your family HAS to die on this day for some reason or another.. Some people told me when they had their birthday they thought of my fic and I was like damn bro who hurt you? /jk but really reader's birthday is kind of a reflection of... you know, everyone has at least one of those sucky as birthdays. And you've gotta paste on a brave face and pretend you don't want to cry and that it's all not too much and that for some reason you're disappointed and that the trudging march of time scares the shit out of you and that you haven't achieved anything this year and- You know? 'And that's just how it is.'

Okay I've run out of videos I can add but there are only two songs left so!! Ima finish this anyways.

Inertia by AJR is a song where again the lyrics speak for itself. Before you woke up in a slightly different world where everything was just slightly different, your life was stagnant. You were stuck, absolutely. Despite trying to break out of poverty, out of your circumstances, fortune simply wouldn't smile on you. And again, that other you seemed to reflect that stagnancy. She wasn't going anywhere either. In my head I see the two of you dancing like marionettes alone on your stages alone, unable to fight against the strings pulling at you. It's only till you start dancing with eachother, till the strings start tangling that you start getting any freedom. That you're able to start getting anywhere. Maybe being set off course was the best thing that could happen to both of you?

Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay is a song that both me and my mum love, and also one very fitting to the superhero theme! And it's how ALL the guys feel about you!! You're really just a civilian, you're not that important in the grand scheme of things... But why do you like them? It's for such stupid reasons. It's because of the way Damian reads romance novels and Jason never properly tapes his nuckles and Dick has a stupid bleeding heart so he keeps taking too many hours at the Bludhaven pet rescue and Tim always fucking sends you the new york wordle, connections, crossword and spelling bee first thing in the morning and then asks if you want any help when he knows you want to do it on your own and- Every single moment of you is done with such love and sincerity and heart and they can't help but fall in love again and again and again. 'I want something just like this' is a phrase they'll say to you and you'll say to them too.

#sophie speaks #series:www #soltoniasyrup #anyways I lost my fucking mind but hip hip hooray #blacked out and did this #could i have been writing next chapter yes? did i? no #but i think its also good to have moments like this to remind yourself why you like to do this so damn much #my little dudes #yes you are one of my little dudes #im picking you up like youre a doll. the pov is like from toy story

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