#it is not a very large desk 👍

[weidli]

thorsten leaning on sebastian's desk like this. while sebastian is sitting at it. swr why no zoomed out shot of this where we can see the situation properly. swr. swr come back here i need to talk to you

[aintgonnatakethis]

find the word tag

BIG thank yous to @fortunatetragedy (here) @gioiaalbanoart (here) and @bagheerita (here) ❤️️❤️️❤️️ I've got 3 of these stacked up so I figured I'd try to do them all at once! Everything will be below the cut as this is gonna get long. Warnings: one NFSW and one depiction of reasonably graphic violence. 👍

My words are bride, fork, coin, snack, edge, sip, orbit, court, stealing, enthusiasm, days, and red!

Tagging: @wolgerrswraith @romances-not-tragedies @lychhiker-writes @drchenquill @the-golden-comet Your words to find in your WIPs are screen, cheek, allow and topple.

Bride - November: Break-up for The Aspec Year Challenge (SGU)

He throws a bachelor party and stands up for Everett at his wedding and gently extricates himself from the bridesmaid's clutches. Normally he would sleep with her, simply because it's the expected thing for him to do, but it happens to be Emily's sister and he wants none of that, thank you very much. Everett finds him after a couple of hours, where he's secreted himself away in a corner of the room. The newly married man has clearly had too much to drink and is way too handsy with Telford. It's dangerous, but a wedding is surely enough cover, Telford reasons with a sudden unexpected burst of desperation. Everett's girlfriends have never taken him away, have never come first, but a wife is another matter, isn't it? Telford doesn't want to lose Everett.

Fork - Aliens made them do it (SGU)

"Let's fucking do this," the man growled, spitting a mouthful of blood into the dirt. They were showered with dust as they moved deeper into the tunnels, at one point the width narrowing so much they were forced to shuffle sideways, rifles detached from their tac vests. They arrived at a fork, one tunnel leading upwards and the other down, the latter steep and treacherous looking.

Coin - June: Mermaids for The Aspec Year Challenge (James Bond)

It had started roughly six months ago, gifts beginning to appear on Q's desk without anything attached that could give him a clue as to who his sudden benefactor was. There didn't appear to be a pattern in temperament or price. A stuffed elephant one time, a box of the finest Cuban cigars the next, followed by a Newton's cradle with tiny cats hanging off the outermost balls, followed by a puzzle box intricate enough to flummox Q for a record two days - a flattened Roman coin inside - followed by a gigantic cat tree, still contained in its four large boxes. Q had questioned his staff and actually believed them when they swore they hadn't seen who'd left them, even if it seemed nigh on impossible to smuggle so many metre-and-a-half square boxes through the bowels of MI6 without anyone noticing.

Snack

Edge - What Big Teeth You Have (SGU)

Young glared daggers at him, while Telford flopped down on his side, his head coming to rest on Young's knee. It was all very... intimate. The whole thing: casual touches and bedding down together and the practised edge the whole situation carried. The protectiveness, the trust, the astute readiment of violence brought to bear in defence of one another. A lot of the soldiers stationed here showed similar regard for their fellows, but still the instinct that he was witnessing something that went beyond the 'bond of brotherhood' nipped at Rush's heels.

Sip - Dentist (SGU)

They sipped their drinks in companionable silence for a while, sitting comfortably shoulder to shoulder. If Telford were another man, he would get drunk and stay here tonight instead of facing Rush so soon. But he wasn't another man. That other man was sitting right next to him.

Orbit - i am a prisoner just like you 2x03 Awakening (SGU)

Alternatively, maybe sex was something Telford could use to pull Rush further into his orbit. He was the only one who knew the man was a vampire, and it had been long enough since Rush had joined the program that it was impossible for him to come forward without getting himself in a great deal of trouble. Everything else about him belonged to Telford. Why not add his body to the mix?

Court - i am a prisoner just like you 2x02 Aftermath (SGU)

The man was at least attempting a direct approach, Telford generously decided. Telford was always the person who was very straightforward about personal relationships: this is what I want. What do you want? If we're compatible, good for us. Tell me if anything changes and I'll do you the same courtesy.

Stealing

Enthusiasm - Your Own Worst Enemy (SGU)

"Those are for shuttles," he says, gesturing with his flashlight. His statement kicks off a rapid fire discussion on the subjects of mining and refining, production and repair. The geeks are in their element, the enthusiasm even breaking through in Rush's demeanour. Unfortunately the eagerness is short lived, a thudding sound coming from the other side of the blast door bringing the conversation to a screeching halt. Silence hangs in the large space as everyone hopes it was just their imagination. Of course it isn't, because they couldn't be that lucky.

Days - The Little Death (SGU)

Telford breathed hard, eyes tight shut behind the protective shield of his arm. "You're killing me." He knew he sounded winded and he also knew he didn't care. Rush laughed, slapping him lightly on the thigh. "You're so fucking into it." The problem was that he wasn't wrong. It was disgusting how into it Telford actually was, the constant arousal swirling through his gut, the teasing and orders and edging and Rush stringing him along and then informing him that no, actually, he wasn't allowed to come tonight. It made Telford think about what if Rush hadn't shared the timeframe of their little exercise before they'd started. He wouldn't know the target was five days; he'd be constantly caught in the trap of will-he won't-he. It was exciting enough to him that his cock took a long time to flag and he almost suggested they go another round. He didn't because asking for things showed people you wanted them and he was giving Rush enough rope as it was.

Red - Sheppard-turns-Kolya-over-to-Todd (SGA)

Before Sheppard had time to blink, let alone draw breath to formulate a response, Todd snarled viciously and slashed his claws across Kolya's lower back. The man arched into a bow, the breath knocked out of him in a great whooshing wave. Sheppard could see the blood dripping from Todd's fingers, the impact of the droplets striking the floor echoing across the room to his ears. He could imagine the rivulets it was running down Kolya's back, a river of red against bruised and torn skin, the cuts deep and bewitching in the way they would bulge grotesquely under the strain.

[gebstargeb]

Art dump 👍(16 drawings, roughly chronological)

first/second digital drawing on PC! been using ibispaint since birth. I used to constantly be like "oh drawing on your phone isn't that hard it just takes practice!" like girl you're not gonna know that you're in hell if you were born there 😭

Art fight for ritterdoodles oc, Calaca, my favorite art fight from this year. First digital drawing in half a year, then immediately forgot how to do line art afterward and stopped drawing digitally for another half a year.

Steven at his desk, tried to replicate the shading from my art fight attack but… lord it's kinda ugly

trying rendering out on PC for the first time, eurgh

Sketch for a fake Daredevil comic cover? Looks like I'm the floor and he's about to death-drop on me

a sketch for a comic about daredevil being emo and being like “No… I only work alone...” Moon Knight and spider-man are there of course

Harvey from Stardew! My go-to spouse, going for Krobus in my current save though. Practice for a school club, I'm making pixel art for our game! large gap between this and the previous one

I like this drawing a lot and drew it specifically for Instagram, but I don't want to post it there because Peter B. looks pregnant. I NEED to practice drawing chubby people

Digital rendering attempt #2. mmph. its questionable. tried really hard on the composition too lol

steven and layla in their hero suits but they're also in dresses... muah... this was very hard to draw I do not know how to draw two people looking at each other without them looking flirty

spider miku comic book cover! drew it to try and relearn digital art! her webs are music notes! large gap between this and the pervious one

trying to reteach myself line art, halfway through I realized it kinda looks like that "all or nothing" Tumblr post and stopped in fear

large gap between this and the others. I was digitally lining a sketchbook spread and had to crunch out some lineart warmups because I was struggling so hard, idk why lineart is so stressful for me lol

this is gorgeous this made digital art click for me again I love layla shes so pretty shes my wife

realized if I wanna do lineart warmups I should do... just lineart... wow. I'm like plato.

tried to recreate the beauty of number two, not same vibe but still very pretty!!!

hmu for commissions 😘deviant art points only tho <//3

[yuukei-yikes]

Okay okay okay I have a very specific itch to hear about Mekakushi Dan sensory needs and bc you're the first person I can think of who has drawn them stimming I thought your askbox was the perfect place to launch myself. If you have thoughts here pls feed me. Bonus points for Takane's sensory needs + challenges before becoming a computer program and post str bc I do think her needs would be different than they were before?? I think not having a body for 2 years would do that to you

HI ok i dont have a lot of headcanons in general its mostly haruka and takane and mostly takane. i think haruka is the one ive drawn stimming the most Like i just think that guy would flap his little hands around yknow.

so im sorry i dont have hcs for the whole mekadan. IF UR INTERESTED IN A PARTICULAR MEKADAN GUY u can ask me and I'll come up with something >:3 it just feels overwhelming to think of it all at once. and also u said takane and you know damn well im abt to talk for 1 million hours

ok. takane❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ sorry this isn't sensory needs but girl.. takanes Gamer Secret being found out... idk man it's like. this bitch had been MASKING‼️‼️‼️

even in hs days i think takane feels weird about Touching with her hands. she doesn't have the cartoonishly large sleeves she has as ene, but i think she pulls down her sleeves over her hands like in this specific manga panel i indeed have in speed dial

i wish it appeared more often bc its a cute shoutout to ene later on and also WOOO THIS BITCH HAS SENSORY ISSUES!!! i made a comic abt it once but haruka designing actor with the bigass sleeves because he observed that takane pulls down her sleeves. *bite bite bite bite bite* also this panel has always been a fave of mine bc of autism creature takane and also bc the desk is like. at haruka's chest and he looks like he's sitting on the ground

i also think its very funny to imagine takane kicking ass in games while holding the controller with her sleeves over it and everyone's like ?????girl what. ofc she probably has specific textures she hates and all that, takane doesnt feel weird about touching as a whole.

in several instances of yuukei yesterday haruka and takane casually touch each other and while thats obviously cuz they're close friends, a lot of close friends dont act that way or arent comfortable with touch yknow!! in fact takanes the one to start most physical interactions with him. i could be crazy enough to go and check but im gonna trust my memory. and bc i love art where ene is jumping on shintaro and stuff i like to think takane is Actually touchy with ppl she trusts. also she doesnt register personal space sometimes, and ends up standing too close without noticing until someone points it out. i guess this is a bit contrary to a typical takane interpretation (UR STANDING TOO CLOSE DUMBASS🙄🙄🙄🙄 tsundere moment) but i think it's a fun spin to it. i think kenjirou is the one to most point it out like Girl step BACK ur all in my zone and she's like UGH WHATEVER and haruka also notices but never rly says anything. he probably loves it lol haruka's so overdue physical connection he loves that takane doesn't mind touching him or being close to him. also since they have a big height difference its not like she's all up on his face. i think takane starts letting go more once her ene secret's out and stops caring so much but it sorta comes back when ayano and shintaro join the group. i think shintaro especially would point out UGH WHY ARE YOU STANDING SO CLOSE TO ME or even question why she's so close to haruka or ayano. haruka and ayano are all like NOOO DONT WORRY I DONT MIND but takanes already mortified and is more self aware

another one. takane with her big old headphones. yeah yeah uses them disconnected to get haruka's attention Whatever she also uses them bc she prefers hearing stuff muffled instead of hearing it directly 👍 when she gets overwhelmed she puts those things on with the music to the max and just logs out for a min

OH also this is a canon one😼😼😼 her leg bouncy thing. shintaro points it out in the seventh novel that takane is bouncing her leg and says it's a nervous habit he never noticed on her but TO ME. SHE DOES THAT❤️ takane has huge leg bouncer energy i bet she makes the whole table shake and everyone asks her to quit it and she says Damn ok sorry and stops it for a total of 50 seconds before starting again

anyways in summary hs takane is like. tends not to notice personal space, hates touching stuff with her hands, likes having control over what or how she hears, and has a tough time staying still. POST STR... its all to the max. takane is overly aware of everything. all 5 senses are as much of a nightmare as they are a relief and it's all mixed together!!!!

ok her sensory needs that she already had pre ene are still there but completely amped up, except the personal space one. now everyone is always too close and literally just opening her eyes (HEH!! OPENING EYES!!!!) is super overwhelming bc WHOA EVERYTHING IS SO CLOSE AND HUGE AND HD. i could imagine comparing it to like, wearing contacts for the first time for any fellow glasses wearing people. like u know this, youve seen all this. but suddenly youre watching it differently without a frame around ur eyes and it just feels weird. for takane the frame was a screen instead of the glasses yknow. and to her its A LOT

i think post str takane keeps using her powers and having meltdowns because on top of all the existentialism she has to deal with being alive and everything, suddenly She Cannot Control Anything And It Is A Nightmare. she can't handle the lack of control she has over her needs and body temperature. just feeling hungry or sweating after walking for a little in summer makes her upset. bc she gets her body back during summer so GOOD LUCK WITH THAT GIRL. the clothes she wears feel all insane and irritated and nauseous!!! awful!!! even showers feel strange bc AUGGHHH so much is touching her at once!!! she also hates eating soooo yeah also a thing. i think she's always been a picky eater but post str its like she will only eat like 2 things or something

ON THE OTHER HAND.... it suddenly goes on the opposite end. like for a few days she's nightmare overstim city and then she's SUPER understim and COMPLETELYYYYY over eager about having a body and horribly indulges in like. overeating and running around <- overeating (especially when u usually avoid eating), awful for ur tummy. running a lot when u have chronic pains, also awful for ur pains later. sooo nothing she wont pay the price for later. it needs to get pointed out to her she needs to find a balance and cant have all or nothing (by haruka probably)

the personal space thing comes back here like she gets So touchy and needs hug or death. i think she can be all happy hugging haruka and all of a sudden pushes him away and is like WHOA I NEED TO GET OUT OF MY BODY RIGHT NOW MAYBE RIP MY SKIN OFF TOO MAYBE so it's rly like a light switch all of a sudden she can get overwhelmed with it and revert. like jumping back and forth between seeking and avoiding sensation.

i drew this once but haruka with his arms inside of takane's sleeves LOLLL i think skin to skin rly helps her when she's feeling like she needs sensation. a big part of the sudden overindulgence is OUGH IM REAL!!!! bc like i said takane isnt just dealing with having a body again she's dealing with having her Life again. being alive again. and she LOVES being alive. and the avoidance of all these sensations sometimes piles up and ends on the opposite like I NEED TO EAT💥💥💥I NEED TO SCREAM💥💥💥💥I NEED TO RUN AND HUG AND KISS AND DANCE AND SWIM💥💥💥 yknow. so yeah haruka helps her a lot with it when she needs touching and hugging 🙏🙏🙏 cuz he also wont get offended if she's suddenly like Ok get away from me before i explode🙏

also post str takane To Me also has mobility issues like haruka does bc all her muscles are atrophied from yknow Not moving for 2 years so it's like, even more that she has to deal with. physical therapy is incredibly invasive to her too so it's extra difficult. i think haruka and her do it together and that's why haruka is so on top of what's going on with her, he's the closest and sees her whenever she's the most vulnerable. also their situations are So similar they cant help just gravitating to each other for support. i also think haruka's the one to always point out to her when she's overindulging like Hey i love that ur rly enjoying that bigmac but i can already see you wanting to rip out ur organs later tonight so maybe dont eat a third one.

anyways ermmm takane's biggest challenge is Stop resorting to opening eyes whenever it gets too bad. like i also got sensory issues and assuming whoever is reading also does imagine having the option to just Jump out of ur body when its feeling Awful. ofc ur gonna take it when ur feeling like that. but it doesn't help takane to do it. while it helps her to calm down, it's not good in the long run. she actively wants a PHYSICAL life and work on all this. takane never wanted to die and is super motivated to get better but it's not quick or easy!!! eventually she finds a good balance i think. she's still a rly touchy person who hates grabbing her phone directly without the sleeves in the middle and will only eat like 3 things❤️ but also a hug lover❤️

[astropithecus]

From January 2017

This was my second bullet journal and my first "please return to" page. A common piece of advice (especially for ADHD bujournalists) is to "plan to lose it." One of the things that looks like is putting a phone number or an email address on one of the early pages in a place it's hard to miss. That way, should it get left behind somewhere, hopefully whoever finds it will be kind enough to reach out.

The idea here was to have a large, eye-catching doodle a person thumbing through would naturally stop to glance at, with a very big phone number next to it (redacted, because it's still my phone number).

I don't go to this much trouble anymore (now I've actually just got a rubber stamp that says "🙂 $TÅY ⭐ WÉÌRĐ 👍" and has my phone number and email address on it), because since I started bullet journaling in 2016, I've only actually left one behind one time.

It was summer of 2020, the pandemic was in full swing, and I spent one night at a motel in Lordsburg, New Mexico. The next day, driving along I-10 West somewhere near the Coronado National Forest outside Tucson, I made the horrifying realization I didn't have my bullet journal. Surely I'd just mislaid it, I do it all the time; I must've stuck it in my bag, or it fell on the floorboard - I tried to think back. I remembered I'd left it near the door of the motel room so I'd see it and grab it on the way out. Apparently I just walked right by it.

A call to the motel confirmed the worst, housekeeping had already turned over the room, and no lost items had been retrieved. The front desk promised to call if it showed up later, but I could already feel the icy acceptance washing over me that I'd done a dumb there was no undoing. I was 1,200 miles from where I was leaving and I was now stranded, raw-dogging reality with only my afflicted organizational skills to get me the remaining 500 miles across a plague-ravaged wasteland to where I was going.

The motel never called back, and I never saw that bullet journal again. Some say it wanders the desert west of Lordsburg to this very day, and that every summer if you go out by the Hidalgo County Transfer Station and listen very closely, you can still hear the sound of notebook paper fluttering in the breezy night air.

On the other hand, maybe I'd have gotten it back if I were still drawing "please return to" pages like this.

[nineliabilityrisk]

[ squeeze ] sender reassures receiver in a dangerous situation by squeezing their hand (for jeremy)

- [ squeeze ]: sender reassures reciever in a dangerous situation by squeezing their hand -

[[ ITS THEM ITS THEM ITS THEM FINALLY i have been frothing at the mouth waiting to play my jeremy with you i. OUGH i cannot wait for this - that was written before i replied to the other thing but it still stands so. hyeah 👍 ]]

-- [ asked by @bravevolunteer ] --

Jeremy's first day - er, first night - on his very first job, fresh out of high school, after months of searching for any open positions in their tiny little town... You'd think he'd be excited, just as his whole - considerably large - family was to have one of their boys taking his first steps out into the real world. Instead, he was anxious, Michael's nervous energy rubbing off on him.

The boys were both cooped up in Jeremy's little house - a property that his parents were taking care of the bills for until he got his first couple paychecks and could support himself on his own. Their family wasn't wealthy by any means, but they could handle the extra expenses to get him out of the house and give him some independence - at least they could pass his room on to one of the little ones. God knows they needed it, with how many of them were always running around. He loved them all to death, of course, but the peace and quiet was definitely very welcome, and his little orange kitty, Tansy, (short for Tangerine,) definitely appreciated not having to avoid being trampled by the frequent child stampedes.

Michael had been fussing over Jeremy all evening, seemingly doing everything in his power to make him late - not deliberately, obviously, he had his own reasons to be worried - but Jeremy had to make it to work. He had to make a good impression. This was his first chance to prove that he could be a proper, independent adult, and it could be months until he got another one if he lost this job.

"Mikey, I gotta go," he huffed, having finally managed to get enough privacy to change into his uniform - he genuinely had to place a hand on the top of the other boy's head and push him away to get enough space to clip his new badge to his shirt. "I know you don't like it, and I'm sorry, but I gotta pay the bills. I'll only be out six hours, you won't even know I'm gone. Just stay here and take care o' Tansy. She ain't used to bein' home alone."

Just a little over twenty minutes later, he arrived in his new office, Afton boy in tow. He'd known trying to get him to stay at home was a lost cause from the very start, and had finally allowed Michael to come along and keep an eye on him, only if he promised not to interfere with Jeremy's work whatsoever. Jeremy had even grabbed his Walkman - pretty much the only present he got on his 18th birthday due to the price - to help keep Mike entertained during his shift.

Tossing the little floor cushion he'd snagged from one of the kid's areas into a corner of the office, along with a little workbook he'd found on his desk, he dropped down into his own spinny chair and gestured for Michael to sit. "'Kay, you know the drill. You got what you wanted - sit there and stare at the back o' my head or just fuck around for the next six hours, but you do not get to complain about bein' bored. This was your decision. Got it?" His words sounded stern, but his voice wasn't. He wasn't mad at Michael, he could never be, he was just stressed about the job in general, and the atmosphere of the restaurant wasn't exactly doing his mood any favors.

While he was sitting there, still fixing Michael with what he thought was a firm glare but was likely more of a set of heart eyes, because God knows he wasn't really capable of much else when it came to that boy, the phone behind him rang, nearly startling him straight out of his chair. "Oh, um-- Hello?" he answered, frantically smacking the button to put the phone on speaker so he didn't have to fumble with the handset. It wasn't like it mattered, though, as his voice was quickly drowned out by the voice of - what he assumed to be - one of his superiors.

"Uh, hello? Hello, hello? Uh, hello and welcome to your new summer job at the new and improved Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Uh, I'm here to talk you through some of the things you can expect to see during your first week here-" the man rambled, on and on, and Jeremy glanced back at Michael with wide eyes -- how was he supposed to remember all of this? He did his best to pay attention, but his worry quickly began to get the best of him, especially as his 'mentor' began to mention the animatronics moving around -- a... Music box? Flipping through the cameras on his monitor, he began to realize that Michael had been right and he was in way over his head.

Taking in a deep breath and shutting his eyes, he turned his attention back to the call. He needed to know what he was doing. "You see, there may be a minor glitch in the system, something about the robots seeing you as an endoskeleton without its costume on, and wanting to stuff you in a suit, so hey, we've given you an empty Freddy Fazbear head, problem solved! You can put it on anytime, and leave it on for as long as you want. Eventually anything that wandered in, will wander back out." Glancing to his left - the man was right, there was a massive bear mask resting on a box next to him. Just one. He hit the mute button on the telephone.

"Shit, Mike, we gotta --" he picked up the head, holding it out in the other man's direction. "You were right, 'm sorry, this was a fuckin' mistake and a half, you need one of these, I gotta-" Tossing the head back onto the box, he glanced at his monitor, checking the meter for the music box - not winding down just yet. Up out of his chair, over to the corner of the room where all the other boxes were piled, he started digging through them. "Here - here's one," he said, finding some bright red artificial fur and grasping for it, heaving it out of the box despite all the other dusty parts stacked on top of it. When he pulled it out, he was staring it dead in the empty eyes - not a bear, more dog-like... A fox? Maybe there was a fox. He couldn't remember, he never paid all that much attention to the freaky robot animals.

He was back over to Mike in the corner as quickly as he could be without tripping over his own feet. "Here -- take it, please. I dunno what'n the fuck is goin' on, but these're s'posed to keep us safe, so please just--" He practically shoved the mask into Mike's lap before rushing back to his desk, not noticing his own accent slip or the other boy's hesitation in his own rush to make sure nothing had moved.

[skydinzeal]

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[sr-colle]

i'd ordered some seiyuu bromides from the bushiroad online store for me and a buddy, and i felt worried about them going overseas in something flimsy, so i used this as an excuse to get some stuff from suruga-ya so i could have it consolidated into a box at tenso.

i had to really scrape my save-for-later lists to find stuff i wanted that a) would be just enough to hit suruga-ya's 1k yen free domestic shipping threshold and b) at least one of them had to be large enough that suruga-ya would use a box. i decided this item should be the 260 yen face towel of karasuma reiji, aka my first proper "embarrassing anime merch item". this was a very dangerous decision as i now covet the matching shu but he is much more expensive and much more condemning to own.

extra unfortunately, my ploy failed and suruga-ya shipped in a mailer anyway, and then tenso put it and the bushi mailer in a massive, overly tall box that made the overseas shipping cost over 40 usd because of the volumetric weight. i didn't know what it looked like until it arrived and thought that the reiji towel was simply large enough to necessitate a box that big 😭 oh well! the point was to keep the bromides safe, and they did arrive in pretty much perfect condition.

these are the ones i picked out! that masa was just too beautiful to pass up, i had to get my man arthur, and i've always had a soft spot for the handsome kousuke. both of these kousukes are such insanely cool shots to me... i would've loved to have gotten some toumas too. IF THEY'D SELL HIM :(

from suruga-ya, the aforementioned reiji towel came hilariously and unceremoniously stuffed into a plastic bag 😭😭😭

he's a little smaller in person than i imagined (size is 340x850mm, or roughly 13x33in) but he's also way softer than i expected!! it's kinda microfiber-y? i have realized i have no clue where to put this guy so he is currently in my lap like i'm an old man with a blanket. it is also 30C/86F at my desk as i write this so i'm sure he's having a great time on my legs 👍

also from suruga-ya, i got this nifty faniri keychain that i've had my eye on for a while, and the script to the chemistry voice drama. (plus reiji again in a nicely smoothened state)

faniri keychain will hang from miroir felix and dangle goofily over poor cipher byleth until i feel like fishing out a dedicated pin. i'd like to put it on my work bag; i just hope it doesn't make too many clinking noises 💦

i'm gonna have to take my board down to put up the bromides, which means it's not going to happen for a while lol. i hope i can figure something out for the warping problem soon, as a lot of things on my board have started bending again... :/ i'll probably hotfix it with additional pins until an idea comes to me.

i haven't posted about my last couple packages or my latest collection rearrangement, but that'll have to wait for when daylight hours return. until next time!! 🌸

[redapparitions]

what're some interesting things about Byron you know or opinions you have of him? :0

not a useful or interesting fact about HIM but i do have a framed photo of him on my desk 👍 i’ve no idea where to start on him but a somewhat strange byron opinion i have is that i find it more enjoyable to read about his life than to read his poetry. i suppose it’s quite fascinating to examine details of how a historical figure with a very large, very sensational reputation actually lived his life; there are so many contradictory opinions about him (both now and among his contemporaries) that it’s an endless task to try and uncover the person behind that reputation. i’ve been so busy that i haven’t been able to revisit any of my books about him in nearly a year- now i desperately want to anon :,)

[anangelcalledinquisitor]

I had a dream that Raising Starlings updated. I know it was a dream because the number I saw was 13, adding 10 non-existent chapters. When I woke up, I had a feeling that I really wanted to go check the update, but told myself that “the fic updated two days ago, it’s not going to have updated yet. Calm down.” I couldn’t fall back asleep until I went and checked, and now I’m feeling very exasperated with the part of myself that is feeling very smug about predicting that I would wake up to chapter 3. I thought you might find this funny, so I wrote this ask before I head back to bed.

Keep being a great writer and wishing you a speedy recovery 👍

I am trying not to laugh, because hey, i usually don't know if the chapters are going to be done at any set point XD Holding the World was a blur, like I posted largely every other day while other fics were updated like once a week to every other week. HTW and Raising Starlings have been like, the exception, they just make the ADHD go brrrrrr for some reason. Being unwell is such a pain, i have to rest a lot and I can't sit at my desk, so writing has to be on the laptop, which is running much better than before, but it's got physical issues (a broken hinge and the cats looooove to rub on it and it makes me worried it'll break and then no writing at all).

But all these well wishes makee feel much, much better! Thank you for making me smile!!!

[traveltaiwanduringcovid19]

Quarantine experience series

My quarantine days went by so fast🎉

I would like to share with you the quarantine hotel where I stayed.

This is a mid-to-high-priced hotel (four thousand for a day). It has large windows (can be opened for a little ventilation), independent air conditioning, and a spacious bathroom with wet and dry separation, a bathtub, and high water pressure and water temperature. Hot, there are also desks and sofas. The room is clean and bright. (I don't like the kind of dark, dark and sentimental room😆 ), and the equipment is complete (drinkable water, laundry detergent, dishwasher detergent, detergent, alcohol, instant noodles, snacks,

My favorite was that every meal (breakfast, lunch and evening) comes with fruit and drink (or soup)👍👍

The staff were kind and quick to reply. I asked them every day what to eat today (the menu will change everytime, so there is no one-week menu), and they take the trouble to reply quickly. If you order delivery, they will deliver it quickly .

These ten days have been very comfortable, and the food was also very delicious. To be honest, I really still don’t want to go out a little bit😆

I wish you all to stay safe

Source: Chin Hsiu Yu

If there is infringement, please let me know.

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[cartoonfangirl1218]

Working Girl Chapter 6

It’s finally here. The final chapter! Thank you to all who liked and read the story that all came from my over-active imagination. Also thank you for not telling me if it sucked. I’m happy in my denial.😅 Most of all thank you to @pizzansunshine for her support throughout the story and moreover, helping me finish. She came thorough when I was stuck on the last half. If anyone wants to read all things Eleto. Fluff, intrigue, drama, angst, romance. Everything! Also be ready for Eleto week coming in Feb👍 Enjoy. 

“They call me Doña Paloma now.” 

Hortensia settled herself onto the plush chair that sat across from an ornate, oak carved desk that was only the icing on top of a elegant, gold trimmed room which seemed to be decorated with every jewel and ornament one could own. It only made sense, even though the room was just a meeting room it still reflected all the wealth and prestige of the royal family. 

After visiting her village, she immediately wrote to accept the job of Magister. The ceremony was very simple, lots of speeches, her new title was a Doña rather than a Señora, a large buffet, the usual schmoozing. She was happy with it. She really really was. Well, she would be. 

She may have spent the last month in a subdued daze. Everything felt quiet and dull. She had been walking around with a constant feeling of guilt clouding everything she did. The weight of it all. She called it a wave, the waves of sadness and despair. 

Her body ached. She’d wake up tensed and hunched like an old lady. That is if she could get herself to sit up. She was so so exhausted. It was like nothing she felt before. It was an extreme tiredness. Empty. Faking any happiness too much of an effort so she settled for nothing. She could only hope people would take it as shy modesty, and not coldness. If they didn’t. She could honestly say she didn’t really care what strangers thought of her.  Not when the only people she loved most were dead. All she had worked for. Everything was worthless. 

When she ate, she felt disgusted that she was being given all this food just for her, one person. She was living this wonderful life all by herself when it was supposed to be her and her family. 

There was also an overwhelming feeling of loneliness. She had been lonely before but that was different, at least she knew her family was back home. The were alive, and that there was a letter to look forward to and the dream that she finally would see them.

She would cry at night, wailing all of her sorrows in some misguided hope that maybe if she did it long enough, it would hurt less. She had stop that fruitless effort after her neighbors called the guard on her for noise disturbance. For the fifth time. Now she tried to restrain her crying to when she visited a river or graveyard so she can be mistaken for a wounded coyote or La Llorna and not be bothered. 

In the afternoons she resisted the urge to go to the post to check for a letter, which only made her heart ache painfully. There was nothing left of them, no pictures, no momentos, it was like they never existed. The only one that remembered them was her, and slowly their images were fading from her mind.

She had kept the letters, but burned them in grief when she had returned to the city. She regretted that now. She regretted a lot of her actions when it came to thinking of her family. The letters would have been good momentos, but they had also served as a reminder of the hard times they had suffered and made her wonder...did they curse her name as they wrote of their starvation or maybe they waited ever hopefully that she would come through for them. She didn’t know which option was worse. They both hurt. 

She had to remind herself that even if they were alive, they weren't like her like this. They wouldn’t have liked this life. They would prefer outfits that were more simple and practical. They would find the constant balls and complex social web to be pretentious.  They would have hated how she acted among the nobles. Acting like them. Pretending she had no idea how the other half lived. 

She had to do it to fit in. She wouldn’t have gotten where she was now otherwise. Secretly, she enjoyed being in the thick of it. She enjoyed all this lavish wealth, she just hated that they couldn't enjoy it too.  But that enjoyment was gone. Her family was gone. 

She was stuck here. She couldn’t just quit her job. She had nothing to go back too. She was alone in this crowd of nobles who hadn’t experienced traumas or hardship in their life. Alone in a job she didn’t think she could do anymore.  The thought of dealing with these ignorant happy people. The thought of having to work. The thought of standing. It was too much.  She didn’t want to be here. She wanted to go home. She wanted her family. But she didn’t have either. She was homesick for a place that didn’t exist. She wished to die. Yet the river rejected her. She took the herbs, and waited for sleep to take over her for good. She wanted to drown within her own feelings of grief and exhaustion but she hadn’t. She couldn’t drown. Why couldn’t she drown? 

She was a strong one. “Her body had a remarkable will to live,” the doctor had informed her after her failed attempt. She was the strong one, that’s what they always said.  At least one thing still stays the same, whether she was rich or poor. Her feelings were not important to others. The doctor had even said, “Rest. Don’t talk about it. Don’t even think about sad things. You clearly can’t handle it. Just be strong.” 

One of her new friends, Lady Yolanda had noticed her morose mood and advised her to focus on herself. Her money. Maybe share that said money with friends.  "Thinking of other people is so bothersome. All those conflicting feelings and complexities. When you think of only yourself, you're much happier. You know your tastes and wants, so buy something and enjoy it without worrying about anyone." 

She couldn’t try that advice either. It was stupid but she still hadn’t quite gotten into her new role as a rich noble. She still felt like she couldn't buy a dress on whim, not unless she needed it for an event or if she got it as a reward. 

Which was exactly what she was going to do if the meeting with the chancellor went well. 

In a rare moment of lightness, the weight over her body was gone and she felt enough energy to look over the list of ideas she had created when she first campaigned for Magister. She decided that would be her a nice project to keep her mind off things. 

First she had to approve it with the chancellor and then she could get it started. Three weeks and the chancellor hadn't even replied to her requests to discuss, much less actually meet and that was when she started to feel some energy again. 

How dare this pompous, overpaid man make her wait! What sort of work was he doing? Even the queen replied in less than a day to delegate her request to the chancellor and everyone knew the queen stayed in front of her vanity all day, more or less. 

Hortensia happened to have a life, okay maybe not a thriving social life, but the Chancellor didn't know that. She could have a busy life, and he was making her wait. 

After he failed to reply to her last plea, she decided to wait here in his study and meet him whether he was ready or not. She even told a stout servant, Contiago something or other to go fetch him. 

Unfortunately this morning, all that anger and indignation she had been festering was gone. She woke up and fell back into bed, her first thought on the day she last saw her family. 

She couldn’t get her mind off of the image of them. Memories of parting and imaginings of how they died in the clutches of starvation. She had no idea how long she cried but somehow she stumbled to the mirror to wash her face. She was struck by how awful she looked. Pale, cheeks wet with tears and mussed hair plastered to her face.  She looked like she had drowned. But she couldn’t drown. 

She was the strong one, she had to do something with herself. 

Now here she was in a room with busts, and paintings of the Chancellor framed with gold edges and a desk covered with papers that looked simultaneously organized and a mess.

“How modest. Someone is working hard.” she snorted to herself.

Once more, Hortensia restlessly got up and smoothed down her black dress and patted her tight low braid that was pinned by a diamond lily brooch. She was dressed for mourning even if no one knew it, but she wanted to look classy too. Considering the high profile of this room, she wanted to look like she fit in as...

The door knob started to jam noisily, and Hortensia almost fell sitting down at the edge of seat.

"Carlos! I'm very busy right now. Whatever it is can wait!" A irritated voice insisted among the clamors of the said Carlos. 

"But Chancellor, really, you should know.."

"Not now I have to..." A harried slender man entered the room and stopped cold at seeing her there. The pause allowed her to seize up his appearence, a fitted yellow blazer that was left open so one could see his buff physique. He had long jet black hair that was pulled into a small ponytail, and bangs that were styled on his forehead that seemed like it would flop over his eyes. Put together he was rather attractive, especially his expressive brown eyes that seemed to show each fleeting feeling. 

Plus he had clear white teeth, which were now smiling at her in the classic "Hello, my lovely guest" smile which she, herself used often with her own customers. 

Hortensia held out her hand for a shake, which he took to bow down and kiss, purring, "I’m Chancellor Esteban. How may I help you Señora?" 

Hortensia would almost have felt flattered by the fact he clearly thought she was a noble if it wasn't overshadowed by the annoyance that he truely didn't know who she was. 

She turned over her hand to firmly shake his, trying to put a fake smile of her own. She felt her facial muscles ache and settled for a poker face. A poker face was more fitting for this transaction. Stoic. Calm. In control.    “You may call me Doña Paloma, Magister of Trade. Since you have rebuffed my other arrangements of meeting, I came to you. I'm here to discuss the.." 

"Y-You're the Magister? But you're a wo—"

“-Working harder than you." Hortensia interrupted with a clenched teeth, "I was elected a month ago." 

"Y-yes I was not I-I work very hard!" The chancellor turned to face the servant that was watching them from the door, "Carlos why didn't you tell me we have a new Magister?" 

"I-I tried Chancellor, but you said you were "busy." Carlos answered with quotation marks. 

Hortensia observed the exchange and mused this was going to be easy. He had no control of his emotions. He showed them all so easily. Just as she thought of this, she felt the waves return like a gut punch. The waves of anguished feelings began to crawl up her body leaving her achy. It squeezed her torso, and her heart. 

She used to be able to show her emotions that easily. When she was young and safe. Her family was alive. Not now. Now she was alone. So alone. And stuck in this job that she couldn’t possibly do.  Her breath caught and she clamped her mouth shut. Clenching her fist to keep from covering her mouth as she desperately choked down the sobs that were rising. How she wanted to fall into a fetal position on the floor and sleep forever.  She focused her attention on the bust of the Chancellor. Made of fresh marble and slightly shimmering? Like it had gold polish. How luxurious. How rich and bourgeois. She gulped furiously, blinking rapidly as she tried to refocus her thoughts on this arrogant man. 

The chancellor sighed and inhaled deeply like he was trying to hold his temper before turning to her again with a forced smile, "I'm deeply sorry that I missed the event of your induction. You know how it is. Those events can be so tedious.” 

Ignores his responsibilities. How nice for him.

“Besides I have been extremely b-" 

Hortensia exhaled loudly to inturrupt him, and quickly regretted it for the small dry sob that came out. She tried to mask it with a cough, recovering enough to say, "Busy. I happen to be busy too so would you sit down so we can talk?" 

He did a subtle double take at her shortness, but recovered himself and sat at his desk. 

He spoke in a clipped tone, obviously unconcerned with hiding his irritation, "What do you want? In all the years Her Grace has reigned, Don Jordan never requested to discuss trade matters. Even when King Raul was on the throne, he did not. But I understand that you’re inexperienced so it makes sense you feel confused.”  

Hortensia stared him down as she had trained for years in her poker face. It helped to lessen the sting of his remark. She was good at poker, and this was a poker game. Keep her emotions close to her chest in order to get what she wanted. Besides it had the added bonus of unnerving people. They hated not getting a rise out of her. 

"I happen to have standards that the former Magister never had, and you're clearly too "busy" to see that the economic state of Avalor is limping along compared to the other kingdoms. We're surviving, but it’s nothing to be proud of.” Hortensia said in a placid tone. 

“I’ll have you know I’ve been personally overseeing our economic state and I believe you’re exaggerat-” He began to say. 

“So it’s you who’ve run the economy to the ground. Avalor is saddled with debt.” Hortensia interrupted. Not in a judging way. But she stated it as a fact.  It figures. How could this nobleman who’ve lived in luxury all his life even know how to handle money. He just knew how to spend it. 

Esteban was clearly flustered, but she interrupted him before he could start talking about things she didn’t want to listen to. 

“I have several ideas on how to remedy this. The queen said all you need to do is give your consent, so once that is done I will put them into effect and you can go back to whatever duties you have." Hortensia stated gracefully just as she had practiced, maintaining eye contact the whole time. She felt herself gulping as she spoke and hoped desperately that no more sobs would sneak out.

“Concentrate,” she told herself. “Concentrate on him and what he’s saying. Nothing else.”  

This would soon be over. He would consent to her requests, she could leave and then go on and try to move on with her life. She’d win this poker game and go home and sleep. 

“Hmm" Esteban averted his eyes, stroked his chin that showed the signs of a growing beard and then placed his palms together, "This is true that Avalor has seen better days. Since you're very young to handle this matter, I would like.." 

"Young!" Hortensia said lightly, pursing her lips at his hypocrisy, "I'm 29. You're calling the pot black, Señor. What are you, in your early thirties? 32? You’re almost the same age as me.” 

"I'm 39." Esteban smirked at her broken facade, her mouth popping open unattractively, "I exfoliate." 

Hortensia closed her mouth and Esteban took advantage of her shocked silence to continue, "I would like to help improve Avalor as a kingdom and I also have some ideas on how to remedy this." 

He got up from up his seat and began to rummage in the drawers giving Hortensia some time to process her thoughts on this man. 

He seemed like a classic noble, used to having things his own way, the extent of his work was to be polite and charm people. And be condescending to those under him. As if she would need him to help her. If anything she would be the one teaching him what he needed to know about economics. Yet he did care about the kingdom. Any other delegate would probably had left her off to her own devices. Esteban had ideas. Pre-planned ideas. 

Esteban placed several papers on the desk, most looked hastily scrawled down with minimum explanations. 

Díos mío this partnership was going to take some work. 

"Um?" Hortensia pursed her lips, letting her disdain shine through, "You wrote this?" 

Esteban rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "It was a long time ago, I was a child and I had some ideas that I wanted to show Raul on how to help the kingdom, but he didn't have time to look at them and I haven’t had time to implement them. There is more to running the kingdom than the economy, you know. Despite what you think, the economy is not run to the ground and the other sectors I oversee are doing well.”  

"You wanted to be a chancellor since you were a child? Wait, you knew King Raul personally?" Hortensia asked, her surprise getting the better of her and her genuine curiosity overriding her poker face plan."I didn't know he had a son." 

"I'm not his son. I'm his nephew." Esteban corrected with a hint of wistfulness for the dead king, 

"Oh that's why I never heard of you." Hortensia waved him off noting how Esteban's jaw clenched. 

"Back to the matter at hand" Esteban continued glossing over the family connection. "We need to combine our foreign and economic sectors in a more intimate way. So when we do make allies, they will not be easily persuaded to break their promises in fear we block trade." 

"I already thought of that." Hortensia said a bit impressed that he had thought of something so similar to her. She assumed his plans would be simple and much too idealistic to work but he was clearly adapt at thinking of these matters. "I was thinking we should start with a series of trade deals first, then once working to their good graces, we start gaining military settlements in  other Kingdoms.” 

"We're in agreement then, I can arrange a meeting with you and the Magister of Maaswick when he visits in two months time. Next on my list, I was thinking that we need to create more jobs. The best way would be to have more factories.." 

"No." Hortensia sternly interrupted, "That would be good for the rich and only compound the problem that the cities are profitable and villages stay in shambles. Sure, factories could employ more, but the wages are pathetic. The best way to implement an even field in financial prosperity would be to encourage interkingdom trade. The cities do not to have practical foreign imports like furniture and livestock when they can get those necessities from villagers. However foreign kingdoms can offer cities novelties and trinkets." 

Esteban blinked at her, "That-that sounds like a good plan." 

Then finished going over his list of ideas and were on item number three on her own proposed list when a guard entered the room. 

"Ahem. Her majesty requests your service for the daily review. Now." The guard explained. 

Esteban shot out of his chair and began to hurriedly pack his papers back into desk drawers, talking quickly, "I'm glad that we met, Doña. You have my full consent to start any projects you think would be necessary. I'll meet with you soon. You'll probably receive a message from me tomorrow." 

Esteban paused at the door and then bowed, "It was a pleasure." 

Hortensia smiled once she was sure he had exited, no need to make him feel friendly. This was going to be a temporary partnership. She had to remain professional. 

She gathered her own papers together and left. That was very successful meeting, and the most interesting one she had been to in ages. He understood all the terms she had laid out and better yet, expanded on them. 

It was when she reached her office, and saw it was almost dinnertime that she realized she hadn't thought of her family in the past hours. She had actually lost the waves of regret and sadness for a small time. At some point she stopped forcing herself to concentrate on something other than her sadness. She just was concentrating. 

As she sat at her desk, she smoothed the creases of the paper she'd been clutching. It felt almost wrong that she had forgotten them, but she liked the feeling of satisfaction and usefulness. 

Even though she would rather have saved her family, helping Avalor grow was could be a rewarding goal. It would help to further elevate her status, and she would become a truely invaluable asset to the kingdom. 

She gulped past the lump rising in her throat at the thought of failing again. Failing more people. This she could not fail. For the sake of the kingdom and herself, she wouldn't. She slid down to the ground as the waves rose again. Taking over, letting herself cry. 

She was much wiser now, more experience. She was a Doña now, a somebody and she was going to stay that way no matter what. She had to. 

You learn to speak so calmly when Your heart would like to scream and shout You learn to stop, and breathe, and smile You learn to live without. 

I think of what the world could be A vision of the one I see A million dreams is all it's gonna take A million dreams for the world we're gonna make

Thank you again for reading💝

[skydinzeal]

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