#it is just a non-stop emotional roller-coaster of 'hey what if we reminded you that at his heart anakin was a passionate and caring person?'

[currentlyonstandbi]

[thatslikely]

Fireball - F.W.

Fireball- Fred Weasley x fem!reader (unspecified house)

Warnings: food and allusions to sex

Word Count: 3k

A/N: did I go overboard? yes. do I want to go to an amusement park with Freddie? yes.

Just a reminder: Y/N is Your Name and Y/L/N is Your Last Name

Taglist: @amourtentiaa @probably-peeves @anchoeritic @theweasleytwinsgirl @horrorxweasley 

if you wanted to be added, send me a dm or ask!

“Sweetheart, have you got everything all packed up? I hope you didn’t accidentally pack any Canary Creams this time!” Fred jested from the room across the hall of the Burrow as you eagerly stuffed various waterproof jackets, sticky bottles of sunscreen that smelled pungently of hot summer afternoons spent loitering by the lake, and stacks of Muggle ‘cash’ into a small backpack.

“I think so. And do you really have to bring up that one time every time I’m in charge of snacks?” Zipping up the pockets of the sack, you gave it a satisfactory pat. 

“Don’t worry, I thought you still looked cute, even as a bright yellow birdie.” You were helpless to stop your eyes from rolling in your skull with a sarcastic grumble.

As Fred sauntered over to you, arms extended and ready to give you a bear hug, you extolled, “are you excited? Your first time at an amusement park!” His muscular arms tightly wrapped around yours’; so tightly, in fact, that you lifted off the ground, still wrapped his playful yet loving embrace like a familiar blanket of comfort. The shirt handsomely draped over his figure smelled like home; of the common room after the crackling fireplace ceased, the deserted aisles of a fluorescent convenient store at midnight, burnt popcorn kernels smoking from the microwave. 

“Of course I’m excited, Y/N. You’ve only blabbered about this place since the beginning of time. It better live up to the stories you’ve told!” he said cheerfully into your ear, his warm breath fanning your face, causing electric shocks of thrill to pang every one of your nerves. 

“Today’s gonna be so much fun!” Your chest fluttered as Fred gently set you down like a prized china doll, throwing the stuffed backpack over his broad shoulders.

“I hope the fun carries over into tonight, too.” Fred painted a devilishly handsome suggestive smirk on his features, barely fighting off the urge to buckle your knees with his signature wink.

“Oh shove off, Freddie!” you giggled as you friskily swatted your boyfriend’s bicep. “Let’s just focus on the park for now, we can worry about that later.”

His intoxicating lips pressed a small peck to your forehead before he asked, “You ready to go have the best day ever with your impossibly amazing, handsome, clever, boyfriend?”

“Yes, Fred,” you smiled as he unsheathed his spiky-handled wand, “yes!”

With a quick, pickle-jar-lid pop! you and Fred were instantly engrossed in the eye of a large crowd of joyous Muggle families scurrying around in circles reminiscent of the windy spirals of a cyclone. Most grinning adults had a tiny, chubby hand gripped in their palm, and most of the bubbly kids had a drippy strawberry popsicle in theirs’. 

The familiar plaza surrounding you flooded your heart with comfort and security. Wheeled food stands with bright, enthusiastic neon signs formed street-like pathways; the distant screams from speedy roller coaster riders melded with the thematic music echoing from speakers.

“We’re here!” you squealed, running over to a stand to grab a neatly labeled map of the park, despite knowing its layout like the back of your hand. Fred had been prone to getting lost before, especially in non-magical places, such as malls or airports (We have a lost boy named Fred Weasley, lost at gate thirty-six, and he’s looking for his, er- significant other, Y/N Y/L/N. He’s sixteen years old, quite tall, and has bright red hair, impossible to miss. Please come pick him up at the travel counter, thank you). You were tempted to tease him as you handed him the map, but considering the high possibility he had some sort of prank secretly stashed on his person, you wouldn’t dare risk it.

Fred uttered a “whoa,” as he took in his surroundings with enchanted, curious umber eyes, “this place is absolutely wicked.” His gaze then downturned, scanning the map, intently awaiting the vibrant, printed graphics to spring to life like pamphlets in the Wizarding World do.

“The map’s not going to start moving, if that’s what you’re waiting for, silly,” you teased, pointing to your location on the detailed unfolded brochure. 

“Pfft, I knew that.” His insincere arrogance didn’t help to conceal the slight pink tone that heated his cheeks at all. Pure-blood wizards were truly an enigma.

You ignored his unsuccessful cover-up with an expression that screamed, ‘yeah, right’, as you explained to him (a bit condescendingly) like a schoolchild, “we’re right here, at the entrance. There’s a list of the rides, bathrooms, shops, and places to eat off to the side.”

The blazing sun overhead coated your surroundings with tepid, dandelion-hued light, and the relaxed summer breeze softly ruffled your flowy strands of hair, as well as Fred’s. He quickly combed through his fiery mane with his fingers, a smirk quirking his lips at the promise of so many exciting things to do and see.

“We’re gonna start off with my favorite ride ever: The Fireball.”

Fred dropped his jaw to respond, but you wasted no time maneuvering to the beloved orange scream-producer. You hastily snatched his large hand before weaving him through the cluster of people, scuttling towards a looming bright, tiger-orange arc towering above everything in the distance: the peak of the Fireball. The Fireball was the single best roller coaster ever constructed: its seats were comfortable and secure, its extensive track was fluid and fast, and the excellently paired loops and corkscrews were enough to spark terror in even the bravest riders.

You had been savoring the thrill of the beloved flame-colored coaster for as long as your crown had finally surpassed the minimum-height indicating green line on the sign before its intimidating crimson gates so many years ago. 

Tears streamed horizontally across your face, a painful, open-mouthed smile etched onto your features. Screamed giggles echoed from your toothy mouth as you firmly gripped the bar in front of you, letting the rapid twists and turns of the coaster envelop you wholly. By the time the track had slowed and looped back to the station, your head was spinning, allowing you to barely think, let alone walk. Your hair was fluffed out like a bird’s nest but you couldn’t care less. All you knew was, you had to ride Fireball again.

No other coaster could even dream to compete with the beast of an attraction; it drew you in like a magnet, and hadn’t let you go since. Every other ride just felt inexplicably off in a way that even the most eloquent weren’t capable of articulating. And you finally got to share your favorite coaster with the person you undoubtedly love the most: Fred.

“Freddie, are you ready to go on the best roller coaster of all time? It’ll blow your mind!” you excitedly asked, pulling him towards the coaster’s spaghetti-twisted track. The look of pure bliss that exuded from your body was so, so difficult to say no to. There was something so child-like about your pupil’s vivacious glow; it reminded him of the days so long ago when his biggest stressor was whether he should pull a prank on an unsuspecting Ron or Percy next. 

But an equally childish emotion struck his heart: fear. Fred Weasley feared nothing. A furious Umbridge, maniacal Dark Wizards, and even speedy rogue Bludgers wouldn’t even make him flinch. A roller coaster however, was different. Whether it was the sketchy-looking track held together by metal bolts, the loopty-loop that he would surely fall out of, or the fact that it was made by hands, not magic, inexplicable waves of nervousness flooded his body, causing his heart to boom faster and louder in his chest and his palms to condensate with sweat.

“Hey, uh, angel, it’s actually getting pretty hot, don’t ya think? Why don’t we go have some ice cream first, my treat?” Fred nervously asked, an unshakable stutter in his words. He delved into his pocket, revealing fistfull of bills and coins, eagerly looking for an ice cream stand. “I hope you know where the ice cream is?”

“‘Course I do, Freddie. The best cones are this way, follow me.” You giddily guided the lanky ginger through twists and turns, passing a multitude of fun (and tamer) rides Fred had never seen before. At long last, the two of you reached a small, dark and light blue-striped stand with a snowman holding a cone of strawberry deliciousness hung out front. The best ice cream in the whole park.

While the prospect of romantically sharing a cone of ice cream with Fred sounded tooth-rottingly sweet, the both of you were a tad too stubborn to be willing to share a single frozen treat. He did generously give you a lick of his drippy strawberry cone, however, and you relented to his pitiful puppy-dog eyes and quivering lip, letting him have a bite of yours’.

The ice cream almost instantaneously sent Fred back to summers at the Burrow when he was still equally adorable, but a far cry from who he was now. He was short, only an inch or two taller than Ron, his grin was crooked, and the bridge of his nose was dotted with bright orange freckles. Every cherished summer afternoon was spent slashing in the creek, throwing mud pies at Percy, digging up worms in the dirt, and daring Ron to bite into a cattail to see what it tasted like (that didn’t end well).

Once the delicious cream safely resided in your stomachs, you eagerly asked if the vermillion-haired boy across from you was ready to go on the ride of his life. When he responded with an inscrutable expression, the trips of his ears pricking with nervousness, you added persuasively, “c’mon Freddie, the line’s gonna get long if we wait much longer. The park’s filling up fast.” 

“Hey! I have an idea. Instead of waiting in a boring line that’ll take forever,” -he exaggerated each syllable- “I could try to win you a prize at one of those booths over there. How does a giant teddy sound?” The grin on his face was impossible to renounce.

“Only if I get to play too. We’ll see whether you’re gonna be the one lugging around a huge stuffed bear!” 

Fred yanked you to the nearest carnival game like an eager golden retriever, which evidently was a vibrant water gun race. The object of the game was to position your water gun to hit the target perfectly, and whoever held the jet until the quota was filled won. 

Fred slapped a few bills onto the counter proudly, and the Muggle worker eyed him confusedly, before handing back a stack of greens to Fred. “It’s only five to play, sir.”

Fred took the vacant stool to the right to you, eyes glued on the prize: a large, bubble-gum pink teddy bear. Before he could even learn how to play, the bell rang, and water spewed out of the guns in front of you. Easily, you lined up the stream to the orange target before you, causing varicolored lights to flash and spiral., clashing the darkening sky above. Fred, however, wasn’t so lucky; he accidentally drenched the less-than-happy carny’s clownish uniform. The dripping employee sharply handed you the teddy before grumbling for the both of you to leave, preferably immediately.

“Ha! I won!” you boasted, rubbing the plushie in Fred’s amused face as you walked hand-in-hand past coasters and rides. He chucked before grabbing it from your hands, offering, “I’ll hold your prize for you, Miss Champion-water-gunner.”

“Okay, let’s go ride a coaster! I’m sure you know which one I wanna ride by now.” However, Fred was still nervous as ever. He’d never admit it, so naturally, he came up with every possible excuse. 

“I- erm, why don’t we go ride that spinny one over there?” 

“The carousel? That’s a toddler’s ride!”

“If I want to ride a horse-y, I will ride a horse-y!” Fred swooped you up in his arms, carrying you to the roped-off queue bridal-style while you flailed your arms, your face reddening with embarrassment.

In the blink of an eye, you found yourself seated on a jewel-embellished caramel horse, one of your hands gripped onto the golden pole lifting your pony up and down in a galloping motion. Your other hand was intertwined with Fred’s, who was perched on a mahogany horse draped in orange and green carpets and tassels beside you. Astonishment swam in his cocoa pools; his toe tapped in the stirrup to the old-fashioned circus music playing, he fiddled with the plastic emeralds of the horse’s bit, and he gave you the most innocent, heart-melting grin you’ve ever seen.

Once the bejeweled horses’ hopping halted, and the melodic recording of the march slowly faded, the sun crept below the horizon, granting the prussian blue air a chilly nip; it looked as if a Monet painting were suspended above the millions of flashing cabochon bulbs. 

“Freddie, it's getting dark. We have time for probably one more ride,” you said, not failing to note the lively glow drain from Fred’s rosy cheeks and faint saffron freckles.“What’s wrong?”

“I uhh… I didn’t want to tell you this before, but…” -he scratched the nape of his neck with furrowed brows- “I’m scared of roller coasters.” Fred cracked a nervous side-mouthed smile. “Something about it just… I feel like I’m gonna fall out!”

“Oh, Freddie, I had no idea,” you said apologetically, resting your hand on his flanneled shoulder. The coruscating glow of the kaleidoscopic lights highlighted the fearful darting of his pupils.

“I wanna ride Fireball, it looks sick, but I’m more scared than I’d care to admit.” 

“Here it’s okay, we can go on a smaller coaster if you want. Rocket’s always a classic, too,” you suggested, gesturing towards a short, blue and silver arch suffused in colorful carnival irradiance.

“No, I need to face my fear! Let’s go ride Fireball, darling. No buts!” Fred ushered you towards the Fireball, despite not having a clue about where it’s spaghetti bowl of track was grounded.

“It’s just like riding a broom! More safe, actually.” Fred lifted the chains of the queue for the both of you to mischievously slip under; you were pleasantly surprised to see the line was relatively short. 

“Oh by the way, you better not tell anyone that I, Fred Weasley, star Quidditch player and most popular student, actually can get scared, or expect a foul prank in your future.” Fred embraced you with a hug from behind, not shy of showing some more risque displays of affection to the other teenaged riders to cement the unwavering fact that you were his, and only his.

“Well someone doesn’t seem so nervous anymore,” you teased, poking his chiseled chest playfully.

“What can I say? You’re too distracting.”

You gave him a sarcastic simper as you pulled him by the collar closer and closer to the loading station which was packed with workers and thrill-seekers alike. Fred continued to stay tricksy, a permanent smug smirk upturning his lips as his hands stayed glued to your body, in one place or another.

At long last, the mechanical locking of lap bars and revving of coaster-cars stiffened the slightly cocky Weasley (his nervous form reminded you oddly enough of a breadstick). You gave him more compassionate touches of affection, combing your fingers through his messy hair and tracing small circles on his back, humming.

When the menacing silver gates opened, allowing the two of you to climb inside the fire-truck red carts, Fred looked as if he would explode at any given moment. You grabbed his large, defined hand, your thumb soothingly rubbing vertical strokes on his metacarpal. Fred’s knees were nearly level with your chest once he was securely seated; the lap bar was generous with your wiggle room, but you didn’t mind, as long as Fred felt safe.

Fred’s hand’s grip was tight on yours’; you could feel his heart pump through each of his branchy veins rapidly. He asked seconds before the train was off to slowly climb the first daunting hill, “promise me you won’t let go?”

“I’ll never let you go, promise.”

The next approximately two minutes of ride time were a fantastic blur, just as magical as anything the Wizarding World had to offer. Streaks of golden lights shone around snippets of swirling orange tracks that subjected your body to addicting G force. Your weightless figure flew up and down serpent-esque hills and valleys, you were firmly pressed into your seat, hair hanging down in a flame shape on loopty-loops, and on corkscrews you swear your insides were rearranged.

As promised, you didn’t let go of Fred, in fact the opposite. On the first steep drop, he mustered the courage to hold your intertwined fingers above his head as he emitted a bellowing scream of raw pleasure. He submitted to the following expertly engineered twists and turns, letting his lanky body swish and fly at the mercy of the ride. It felt like a fierce match of Quidditch to him, except for the fact that his eyes were scrunched closed with joy, not open and alert for Bludgers. 

Once Fireball came to an impossibly speedy ending, reality smacked you like a bus. As you got up from your seat to exit the dock, your legs wobbled and shook due to the copious amounts of adrenaline coursing through your veins. You concernedly surveyed Fred, who graciously supported you out of the station.

You peeled your awe tingling lips open to ask how he felt, and almost physically, he uttered a single, “wicked!” 

“How could I have been ever scared of that? I feel like my bones are shaking inside of me!” he managed to exuberantly smile. He swished his arms back and forth pure joy flooding through him, prickling at his every nerve.

“I’m so glad you had fun, Freddie.”

“Thanks for helping me, y’know, have fun, let loose. I feel alive in a way I never have before, it’s insane!”

“I think we may be able to squeeze in one more ride. Wanna go for round 2?”

Fred pressed a rough, passionate kiss to your unsuspecting lips, his electric taste overwhelming you, coating every inch of yourself with red-hot desire, a new and welcome sensation that would linger for weeks.

“You know it.”

[every1studio]

true feelings series: “july: the falling out” [ateez: hongjoong]

genre: angst + slight fluff (non idol!au)

ficstyle: bulletpoints + oneshot + series [YUNHO] [HONGJOONG]

prompt: a series for feelings that one would experience for the sake of “love”

note: I know that it’s been a long time and this isn’t going to be a big RETURN to tumblr. I’ve been going through a lot; I’ve been so unmotivated and just going through a roller coaster of emotions. So if it’s not too much, I kinda wanna write a little of what I’m going through in this piece... I hope you don’t mind. Until next time, Yenni.

a/n: this is inspired by this song “JULY,” on SOUNDCLOUD. Check Valerie Thai out!!! 

you remembered when you met him for the first time in July

it was at a little boutique street on 29th Avenue

you were working part time at a music instrument shop

the air conditioning in the shop kept you sane as you were busy carefully wiping the dust off of the display instruments

the tranquil sound of bells chimed as you got up to welcome in the customer 

you were kind of stunned

it was cliche to think that he was the most handsome guy you’ve ever seen in your life; but you weren’t wrong

he smiled as you welcomed him into the shop as he patted the sweat running from his sideburns, “I must be blessed to come across a place with some strong a/c..”

he looks around the shop as he admired the instruments hanging all around and secretly at you

“I should come here more often..” the guy mumbled

“and you should..” you mumbled back, so sure that he wasn’t able to hear you 

“hmm? why is that?” your face beamed with embarrassment as he shot a smile of curiosity at you

 “uH.. We hAVe a gOOd seLEcTion oF inSTrumeNts.. and stuff...” you tried to direction his attention away from you 

“I’m looking for a nice acoustic guitar.. could you help out?” 

how could he be so smiley and so calm? he must be a player

you nodded but you kept your guard up

finally you were able to get your mind off of his distracting face and went to something you were familiar with 

you always had a love for music; ever since you were little 

so when your uncle opened up a music instrument shop, you were quick to ask him to work there 

the guy caught himself looking at you more than the guitars you showed him 

how could he not?

you were so excited to show him your favorite guitars as well as some popular ones 

he could tell that you loved music just as much as he did

it showed in your eyes 

“I think this one is good for you, what do you think?” he woke up from his daydream of a daze 

“I think that I should ask you out on a date- BUT YOU DON’T HAVE TO IF YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!” you could tell that mid-sentence he got red, so red that you could feel it burn up to your ears 

“I wouldn’t mind going on a date with you..” you whispered, gripping onto the neck of the guitar 

the smiley guy stuck his hand out for you to take, “I’m Hongjoong..”

“I’m Y/N”

...

A COUPLE YEARS PASSED 

it was the end of summer when you reminisced over the times you spent with Hongjoong 

where you met

where you had your first date

when you two shared your first kiss 

when you two had your first fight

how he made you feel then

how he made you feel now 

you were so sure that you two were going to last forever 

where did it all go wrong? 

you could tell that the longer you stayed with him, the more he fell out of love with you 

the little voice inside your head won

telling you that you weren’t going to make him feel like he did when he first met you

telling you that even if you gave him your whole heart, he wouldn’t take it 

your insecurities pushed yourself away from him 

the words that weren’t said out loud were the missing piece to fixing your relationship 

but in the end, they were never said  

the beginning of July was the last time you two talked 

there was no closure 

a small and petty fight grew into a larger one that had nothing to do with what was spoken about at the beginning of the conversation 

after all the yelling, you stopped for a second

you were a whimpering mess as Hongjoong’s knuckles were white, holding himself back from something, you will never know

“do you still love me?” you whispered

you knew that he heard you, but you didn’t hear a reply 

“when did you stop loving me?”

after a few moments, he just grabbed his jacket and left 

you were bewildered as you collapsed onto your knees 

Hongjoong could hear your muffled cries behind the other side of your door

he made it outside the place that you two shared, but he couldn’t step away from it 

he didn’t know why he left you like that

everything just felt different, it wasn’t the same anymore

he waited for you to stop crying before he called his friend, Seonghwa, if he could crash at his place 

you couldn’t sleep that night

when you closed your eyes, he was there

when you opened your eyes, you were hit with realization that your room will no longer have him in it 

even as you wrapped yourself with the blanket, you were still cold 

his warmth was no longer there and it made you uncomfortable 

slowly but surely, you dragged your feet to continue on with your life without Hongjoong in it

Hongjoong didn’t know how to confront you; even after spending a part of his life with you for years, it was like he didn’t know you 

the both of you had mutual feelings that the two of you were able to move on

the landlord called for him to pick up his things

that was when he found that the you moved out of the place that you two once called home 

you quit your job at the music instrument shop 

you changed your number 

you deleted him out of your social medias, out of your life 

well.. you tried to 

despite of all of that, you couldn’t help but go by 29th Avenue 

so many memories were held on this street 

what if you called out to him that night?

what if you hugged him to stay?

what if?

you never said goodbye

there wasn’t closure

but it was for sure the end of the relationship 

you sat on the balcony of your new apartment 

you looked over the city as the warm summer breeze got caught in your hair

you stretched as you breathed in the air of your new life 

as you were stretching, an old guitar at the corner of your room caught your eye 

your arms fell to your side as you walked over to it 

you gave it a small melancholy smile as you sat down next to it

“it’s been too long..”

...

JULY OF THE NEXT YEAR

Hongjoong adjusted his headset before going live on his live radio show

Hongjoong was a famous radio star and he dug a grave in his work to forget about you 

“Hey everyone~ I hope you’re in a place with some nice, cool A/C~” 

like an old record, he was reminded of the first time he met you 

“I’m going play some songs that you guys have been requesting me to play on this station so let’s get to it!”

he scrolls down to read the first comment that caught his attention 

Hongjoong clears his throat before he read the comment out loud, “From: Byul1117 “Hongjoong, I LOVE listening to your station so much! there’s this song that I’ve been listening to on REPEAT, listening to it is like drinking a glass of lemonade on a hot day in July. I recently discovered this artist and I’ve been obsessed with this song, it’s called “JULY” by Y/N! please check it out, it’s on soundcloud!!””

he froze after he read the comment

there’s no way that it was you.. right? 

other people can have the same name 

“thanks so much for the support, Byul1117.. let’s listen to “JULY” by Y/N..”

he turns off his mic as his staff plays the song that was requested

the moment you started singing, he knew it was you

did you write music before?

did your voice always sound this beautiful yet sad?

who was the inspiration of this song?

was it him?

as the song went on, he remembered everything that the two of you did 

he unintentionally smiled as he remembered telling you that he fell in love with you for the second time on your first date at the quaint boba shop 

remembered on how you looked at him in confusion, “when was the first time?”

he kissed your hand like some sort of prince before answering, “when I opened the door of a certain music instrument shop..”

you jokingly cringed as you pulled away from him, “are you actually this CHEESY?!”

the music slows as you sang that you’d be waiting for him at the place where you two had your first date

the month of July held so much for him and for you 

when the song ends, he wanted to get up and run to where you said you were waiting 

but he couldn’t; the rest of the broadcast was a blur to him 

as soon as it ended, he ran to that street; 29th Avenue 

Hongjoong couldn’t lie

he felt like it wasn’t the same

but that was because he didn’t make an effort to keep it that way 

all of this was his fault and he knew it 

and he knew deep down inside, that you wouldn’t be blaming yourself for what happened 

what felt like an eternity passed, he made it to the shop 

he was out of breath but that was the least of his concern 

you never left his mind

everywhere he went he was reminded of you

maybe it was too late for him to do anything at this point

he didn’t know how to get to you when he felt like you were the one that was slowly pushing him away 

Hongjoong hoped that you were there waiting for him 

he was about to enter the shop when someone else enters before him 

you got up with a smile 

Hongjoong was so sure that you saw him 

that you would run into his arms again and start over 

but you ran into the arms of another man 

you showed him a smile that was once only shown to Hongjoong 

in those 60 seconds, it was like it played in slow motion 

you had moved on 

you were happy 

how could he enter your life again after seeing that you got back on your feet without him?

Hongjoong sat down at a table with his back to you as he heard you making your way out of the door

“did he ever visit you? I heard someone requested your song on his radio show..” the man who was accompanying you opened the door for you

“no.. but there’s no helping it, we both walked out of each other’s life. for better or for worse.. I’m not going to lie, he still crosses my mind. especially in July.. I hope he’s doing well..” your voice comes to a stop

Hongjoong could tell that you were about to cry, even without looking at you 

“I’ve been longing for closure for so long.. that now..now that I have you.. I don’t want it.. I don’t need it..” you murmured through tears the gently rolled off your face

the man before you wipes your tears away, “I don’t want you to bottle your feelings.. I want you to tell me everything that you’re going through.. I want to be there for you when you have the slightest feeling of sadness.. I want to be there.. as your boyfriend..”

both you and Hongjoong went wide-eyed, “Yunho..”

“even if you can’t accept me, I’ll be by your side... because I know how hard it was for you to go through the things that you did-”

“thank you Yunho..”

Hongjoong was clenching his hands, hoping that you’d turn him down

please, please, please; Hongjoong was holding his breath

“I would feel assured if you were by my side.. as my boyfriend..”

Hongjoong’s heart’s battery depleted as Yunho’s was energized 

“okay okay okay, let’s go to the movies before it’s too late,” Yunho happily picked you up and ran off 

as you two ran off, you were so sure that you saw Hongjoong 

but you didn’t say anything, because if you did, you would probably get closure... 

and if you got closure, you’d tell him how much you missed him

and if you told him how much you missed him, you’d fall for him for the third time 

Hongjoong smiled as streams of tears ran onto his hand

the hand that still had the cheap gunmetal couple ring you got for the both of you on your first anniversary 

he always had trouble taking off the ring because that would mean that he would finally move on from you 

but he couldn’t so he didn’t 

now?

seeing you finally be happy without him was a sort of closure he didn’t know he needed

he took off the ring as it was coated with his choked up tears 

and left it on the table at the place where you two had your first date 

29th Avenue in July was something that would always cross his mind 

and it was something that would always cross yours

End.

[ masterlist + guidelines ]

[foxsoulcourt]

Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Neil Josten/Andrew Minyard, Neil Josten/Original Character(s), Neil Josten & Allison Reynolds Characters: Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard, Original Characters, Allison Reynolds (All For The Game), Matt Boyd Additional Tags: Post-Canon, Demisexual Neil Josten, Andrew Minyard Has Feelings, Protective Andrew Minyard, Jealous Andrew Minyard, Getting Back Together, Tags Are Hard, Neil Josten is a Mess, Neil Josten is Moving On, Neil Josten is Angry, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Sexual Content, Everyone Loves Neil Josten, Sexual Abuse, Rape/Non-con Elements, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Emotional Manipulation, Break Up, Post-Break Up Summary:

Andrew broke up with Neil as soon as he graduated and moved to New York. Neil was heartbroken, but life goes on. Four years later, Neil thinks he is finally moving on. So, when Andrew shows up unannounced in his city, finds a spot on his team and calls him 'Junkie', everything gets complicated.

Bookmarker's Notes:

What makes for a great fic? Many different things, depending on the fic. This work is one I have discussed with friends, chapter by chapter, because most of us were flummoxed first by this Andrew + then by the very-well-drawn OC James Olson! Not the usual recommendation, is it?! But/and we also laughed all the way along because we could NOT stop reading it, nor talking about it. I'd say that's a mark of a great fic: engaging, surprising + ambiguous. i.e. No easy answers. Just like real life.

I'm grateful to @irmakkockan for how they lifted up an issue which Andrew is guilty of just as much as James was: possessiveness. The way Neil navigates consent is very well done. There are no victims in this story + that's exactly how the author intended it. It's far too easy to say "People SHOULD do this or NOT do that", but life isn't always easy and the author reminds us of this via Neil's experiences before, during + after the second half of Ch. 3.

I've never written a bookmark rec which says "Hey, this fic occasionally made me uncomfortable, but/and I recommend it!" That's what I'm doing here. Pay attention to the TW: rape/non con elements because that is a real part of the story. However, it's only one discreet element AND the author summarises it at the end of the chapter, so know you can navigate around it if you prefer. The reason I value this work is because it lifts up the complexity of relationship dynamics, by characters we adore + those we are meeting for the first time. Plus, who doesn't love a roller coaster ride safe from the comfort of one's fave reading spots?

[thecarmillacurator]

Love Like Fools - Carmilla Fic Review & Recommendation

Title: Love Like Fools

Author: standardusername on Ao3 and @juststandard on Tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13245327/chapters/30298521

Word Count: 69K

Chapters: 14

Rating: Mature (For a few episodes of sex later in the story)

Ship: Hollstein

Tags I’d Assign: #fake dating au #hollstein 

Author’s Synopsis: At a Christmas eve party, Carmilla tells her mother she is dating Laura, this isn't true. Laura agrees to pretend she is dating Carmilla for next 5 months.

Another fake/pretend relationship AU

Readability: Prose reads smoothly.

Reviewer’s Plot Summary: Non-supernatural, fake-dating AU. The ‘gang’ are long-time friends who meet up routinely at a local bar. Laura is an anchor on a super-early morning local news show, and is best friends and roommates with Perry. Carmilla is best friends with Perry’s significant other, LaFontine. Danny and Kirsch are part of the group.  While the others have been friends since freshman year of college, Carmilla is a relatively new addition. And, she was let into the group with a warning by LaF: Laura was off-limits; the group’s dynamic was not to be endangered by Carmilla’s womanizing tendencies.  Incidentally, Laura was sternly warned off Carmilla by Perry as well. And that was fine. For Laura, Carmilla’s endless track of women supported Perry’s warning as wise. And to make it easy, Carmilla also wasn’t interested in Laura.  A quick lie of convenience by Carm at a Christmas party thrown by her mother, though, and suddenly they’re long-term fake-dating until a business merger can go through. Cue story where they maybe both liked each other after all.

Review: This one isn’t going to bring any high ups or downs in terms of angst or plot surprises, but it’s a pretty quick, satisfying fake-dating read. It isn’t particularly fluffy. The plot doesn’t make the external forces creating their fake relationship overly dramatic. There is some angst and pain, but it is not gut-wrenching. It is more... calm. At a carnival, you might call this the big ferris wheel of fake-dating stories (that will make sense if you read it), rather than a roller coaster or a kiddie ride. It’s nicely smooth and predictable. 

The story is written in third person limited, Laura’s point-of-view.  

The Good:  The good here is- don’t think this odd- it was nice to see Carmilla’s mother as a positive character for once. Not that we need that in this fandom, because let’s face it, Lilita Morgan is a great villain. But, just once, it was nice for there not to be that sort of devious, there’s-a-devil-waiting-to-destroy-Carmilla or hate Laura thing happening. It was refreshing to have a version of Carmilla’s mother who wanted Laura as her daughter’s mate, maybe even more than Carmilla herself did at first. 

Also nice about this story is that ‘low-drama, predictability’ thing I mentioned. Hopefully, no one takes this as a slight, because I legitimately, occasionally enjoy having stories that don’t require too much of me as a reader when I’m going through mentally or emotionally draining times in real life. (Do they call those ‘airplane novels’?)

I will say that what was a little out-of-the-norm here, for a fake-relationship AU, was the relative lack of cliche freak-out either of them went through as the relationship built. Until later in the story, when it hit Act III and the ‘rules of writing’ theoretically required there to be some crisis, really, they both kind of went with it, while simultaneously managing to avoid the opposite cliche of going hog-wild in their blind, mutual love. (You know what would be an oddly genius twist to a fake-dating AU? Have the protagonists slip smoothly into the real relationship all the way through Acts I, II, and III, giving the finger to the ‘we must have a crisis’ rule altogether. The closest example of this I can think of is Fade Into You by aliciameade / @aliciameade , a feel-good Bechloe (Pitch Perfect) fic where, yes, there is some emotional crisis, but the characters literally do end up just going with the flow of the ‘fake’ engagement because they both secretly want it. If you have a Carmilla rec for me like this, send it!) 

Finally, I loved the idea of Laura being an early morning news anchor who no one (supposedly) watched. It was an adorable fit for her, and if anything, I would liked to have read more of it in the story.

The Concrit:  One or two of Carmilla’s flirting instances with other women could have been left out at certain points: There was almost a point I was ready for Laura to cut her losses and walk away.

Secondly, the writer had two or three really great plot decorations on the wall that could have become great multidimensional facets! The first was Lilita’s personality and desire to see Laura and Carmilla together. With her wealth and enthusiasm (and the threats of “spar” practice? Yachts? Horse riding?) there could have easily been one or two cute fluff scenes put in. Also, the business that was being sold was just so *unusual* for what we see owned by Carmilla’s family in fanfiction that some additional fun could’ve been had with that. 

(Hey, speaking of rich, benevolent older women: How about someone write me a Heris Serrano AU? Lilita could play the role of Cecelia, the rich space-yacht owner who hires Carmilla (the disgraced, ex-space commander) as the yacht’s captain, and shenanigans ensue. Some smash-up between hound-hunting planets, inter-system political and business intrigue, and The Most Dangerous Game? Laura could be the Petris to Carmilla’s Serrano, except, you know, they could actually get together in the end. Anyone else out there love a good Elizabeth Moon book? Paksennarion anyone? Dorrin Verrakai? Stammel The Blind Archer?  Bunny? Esmay? Arvid? I’m just saying. Hit me up with some Elizabeth Moon love to chat if you’re lonely.)

NEXT IN THE QUE: Yes, we’ve reached that month of Fake-Relationship AUs I was talking about. Almost all reviews for the next four weeks are already pre-drafted and ready to go.

Remember: Please please please… if you enjoy the stories I review and recommend-  whether you’ve only just read them because of my reviews or you’ve read them in the past and these rec’s remind you of them- stop by the authors and send them some love. They’ve given a tremendous amount of their time, effort, and passion to provide us with high-quality, free entertainment that keeps Carmilla alive for us. Let’s thank them. (I’m not looking for props, either: You don’t even have to mention this blog; just send them a note or a comment to let them know they’re appreciated!)

[the-lupine-sojourner]

Not That Kind of Alpha Request 1 [Alpha!Kirishima/Timid!Asexual!Omega!Reader]

Thank you so much, @grace-of-hearts!!! This was such a cute request! I really enjoyed writing it and hope you like it! 

I chose the amusement park because there’s only so much one can do at the zoo and I’d have run out of animals eventually! XD Sorry, but I hope amusement park is okay! 

Anyway, hope you all like, too, and please send in requests you all have! I have run out of ideas and would love to do some requests in this universe! 

Edit: Somehow forgot to add in the links for the other parts to this like i meant to. Whoops!

Part 1: Link!

Part 2: Link! 

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

(I guess this is when they stop to eat lunch?? IDK, I just thought it was cute! XD)

“Babe, you ready?” Eijiro asks from inside the bedroom. I grin and chuckle while french-braiding my hair facing the bathroom mirror.

I was admittedly a little nervous about this, but I also knew it was something Kiri had been looking forward to; a day for just us, doing whatever we want at an amusement park all day. I then take a breath, looping the hair tie securely around the end of the braid, eying my Bond Mark like I had too many times since that night. I blush, as always, at the memory, fingers ghosting over my lips. They way he’d kissed me...it was so sincere, so passionate...I loved it! He’d rarely gotten that emotional since then, but he made it a point to pour passion and love in every kiss, some of which were on the Bond Mark while hugging me from behind. That never failed to make me flustered and red-faced.

The Bonding was a month ago, but it felt like yesterday and a lifetime ago, all at once. I then shake myself and pivot. “Yup! Coming!” I call back, scurrying out to the bedroom and grabbing my purse. It was April, so there was still a slight chill in the air. As such, I had a thin grey varsity jacket on on top of a rose-patterned peasant blouse with a pair of nice jeans that weren’t skinny on me, but weren’t super loose. I also had combat boots on with red socks peeking out and a rose-pendant choker. Kiri blushes. I’d just gotten out of the shower and he hadn’t seen my outfit.

“Holy- -you look...you look stunning.” He murmurs breathily. He had a black wife-beater under a neon tiger-stripe hawaiian-style shirt with army green cargo pants and- -

“Are you really wearing crocs?!” I tease, smirking. “With socks?” He scratches the back of his neck.

“We’ll be walking around a lot. I just figured these are best.” I nod.

“As long as you have a reason, I guess.” I reply, smiling and melting against his gentle hug and kissing him back as he eased his lips over mine. He was never rough unless he just had to kiss me because I looked ‘too damn pretty not to kiss’ or ‘I just love you so much’. It was adorable and really sweet and I smile into the kiss. “Are we gonna go or not?” I mock-grumble, leaning away. He chuckles and reluctantly lets me go.

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.” He says. We hold hands and walk out to the car together.

=#=#=#=#=

“I don’t know...it looks...um...it looks really rickety and…” I stammer and shake, clinging to Eijiro’s arm. “I, uh…” It was the first roller coaster we wanted to go on. And I wasn’t sure I wanted to go on it. Eijiro pats my arm and kisses my temple.

“Then we won’t go on it.” I look at him sheepishly.

“Sorry. It’s just nerves. I’ll get over it.” I mumble.

“No, you’re not comfortable. We don’t have to go on a roller coaster as our first ride. We have all day.” He says softly, smiling. “Really, if you don’t want to go on this ride, we don’t have to.” I shake my head.

“I need to try to get over my skittishness. It’s just...I need to get through this.” I reply resolutely. Eijiro smiles proudly at me.

“If you’re sure. There’s nothing wrong with picking a different ride.” I chuckle.

“I’d rather not ride the carousel all day.” I confess nervously. Eijiro laughs.

“Okay. Like I said, we don’t have to ride every ride. We can take it slow if you want.” I nod.

“Thanks for being patient with me.” He nuzzles my neck, right over the Bond Mark. I blush and kiss his temple.

“Of course.” He says when he draws away. Together, we get on the ride and I try not to grip the bar too tightly. It was a tense few seconds as the workers made sure the riders were secured properly and then we were off. It was a series of terrifyingly fast turns and hills followed by a corkscrew and then a loop and when it was over, I am so high on adrenaline, I am laughing and twitchy as we get out of the car. Eijiro takes my hand again and we stumble down the exit path, giddy. He kisses me. “How was that?” He asks. I grin.

“It might be the adrenaline talking, but it wasn’t that bad!” I reply, giggling. Eijiro laughs.

“Okay!” We walk around til we aren’t jittery and then get in line for a swing ride that nearly goes upside down. I wasn’t as nervous for this one and it was actually kinda fun, all things considered, though I grabbed Kiri’s hand and was screaming the entire time.

After that, we went to an arcade and spent an hour burning through about twenty dollars each, coming away with hardly any prizes except a stuffed shark that I somehow grabbed in a claw game for Kiri and I had a traditional teddy bear Eijiro had been determined to win enough tickets for in a shooter game. “I’m your teddy bear!” He’d proclaimed, “And this way you have something to remind you of me when I’m not around.” I blush scarlet and kiss him. He was too sweet sometimes. We then went on a drop tower which took Eijiro basically talking me into it saying it wasn’t that intense of a drop and it would be over soon. He obviously said I didn’t have to go on it, but I wanted to try just about any ride he wanted to go on. It was terrifying and I felt high on adrenaline again when it’s over. So far, it wasn’t as bad as I thought. This was a lot of fun, actually!

As the day went on, I got progressively less timid and tried different rides I might not have otherwise. And it was all thanks to Eijiro’s patient, encouraging presence. He never pressured me too much to do things if I showed signs of wanting to back out. By the time the sun began to set, I pointed to the ferris wheel. I wanted to save it for the last ride and make it a cliche romantic moment.

This was our 6-month anniversary, after all. I wanted to end it on a high note. “Hey, Eiji. What about making that our last ride?” I suggest and am treated to Eijiro’s loving heart-eyes and a deep kiss.

“Hell yeah, babe! Let’s go it!” I giggle and let him all but yank me into line. He was positively bouncing in excitement. “The sun’s setting, too!” He chirps.

“I know.” I reply. “That’s why I wanted it to be our last ride of the day.” There were times Eijiro needed a little patience on my end, but that was why we worked so well together. We knew how the other ticked and could handle them in a healthy, productive way.

We walk into the car and sit down, Eijiro adjusting me so I was half in his lap and facing the sunset. I sigh contentedly.

“Are you having fun?” He asks. I nod, the pleasant atmosphere and Eijiro’s scent filling me up and making me slowly grow tired from all the excitement of a day of roller coasters and arcade games.

“Oh, yeah.” The ferris wheel moves slowly at first, stopping to let more people on, then begins going non stop and we finally get to take the proper time to enjoy the sunset. Eijiro suddenly turns me gently to him and kisses me soundly. So soundly, in fact, I don’t see or hear him raising his phone and snapping a picture just as we reached the top of the wheel. “...Wow…” I breathe when we break apart.

“I love you so much.” He murmurs, resting his forehead against mine. I smile, wrapping my arms around his neck and kissing him.

“I love you, too, Eijiro.” We cuddle and enjoy the ride, kissing lazily every once in a while.

It had been a perfect day and I wouldn’t change a thing. Every day, I am blessed to be with an Alpha like Eijiro. And he loved being with me, somehow. He runs content hands through my hair as the ride slowly starts and stops to let other people off. He then sits up, clearing his throat and turning to me. “Hey, Y/N?” I nod.

“Yeah, Eijiro?” I reply, wondering why he was so nervous and blushing all of a sudden. He licks his lips, fingers twitching in his pocket before he takes my left hand and holds something up. I blush and stammer for words. Was that…

“Wi-will...will you marry me, Y/N F/N?” He holds the ring up for me to see as the seconds tick by. Was he...was he proposing?!

“Eijiro...I...o-of course! I didn’t think...I thought you’d...but yes, I’ll marry you! Of course!”

Bonus: The Ring, Pictured Below.

[writing-in-the-impala]

You Always Hurt The Ones You Love (Part 6)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

AU: Professor!Bucky Barnes/ Teacher!Bucky Barnes

Series Summary: You fall for your smoking hot literature professor Bucky Barnes (quite literally) what follows you never predicted would happen.

Warnings: Swearing, Drinking, teacher-student relationship (but like it’s all legal chill) and mentions of PTSD because it’s Bucky, SLOWburn we’re in for a long ride

Word Count: 3k

A/N: Get ready, this is gonna be one hell of an emotional roller coaster for the next few chapters, enjoy :)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | Part 1,  Part 2,  Part 3,  Part 4, Part 5

You- Hi, Nat told me that you carried me home all the way from the subway when I fell asleep and I'd just like to say thanks! :)

You texted Bucky in the morning right after Natasha filled you in on what happened after you fell asleep, however she did miss out Bucky's freak out over you being his student and him drunkenly admitting he had feelings for you. You weren't sure if it was the right thing to text him, yes he gave you his number but that didn't mean you could just text him any time, it may have been just for you to send that video.

Bucky- Hi, it wasn't a problem, I'm getting used to carrying drunk you home now ;)

You- Ha Ha 🙄 very funny

Bucky- How's the hangover?

You and Bucky ended up texting for a while before you had to go to work. You went from talking about the party to talking about random stuff, you honestly didn't understand how you could talk to Bucky so much it got so bad that Natasha was noticing. "Who you texting?" She'd ask and you'd just lie but she knew it was Barnes she knew, but she didn't tell you. On Monday you were ill, so I'll that you decided you're staying home, or more like Nat told our to stay home. So you emailed all your professors for the day saying you won't be in due to sickness and straight away Bucky texted you.

Bucky- so I'm guessing you're hungover?

You- Nope I'm actually ill, I know a shocker for a student

Bucky- Get well soon!

You- Thank you, now you should probably get back to work or whatever 😂

Bucky- Pop quiz, I get to sit and do nothing

You- I'm so glad I'm ill

Bucky- 😂

You decided to go back to sleep as you were feeling light headed and tired, when you woke up you finally took a shower for the first time that day, put on some short shorts and an old hoodie, then wrapped yourself in a blanket relocating yourself on to the couch and began watching your favourite TV show. You were surprised to hear a knock on your door so you stood up with the blanket still wrapped around you and you plopped over toward the door you checked who it was and you saw someone turn around and walk away, you recognised him instantly so you opened the door and said "Bucky?" With a hint of confusion.

"Oh good I thought I went to the wrong flat." He said in relief turning around to face you. "Hi." He said with a smirk probably caused by your state of confusion and your outfit that consisted of the puffy blanket.

"Hi, do you wanna come in?" You said still confused, standing to the side to let him in and he walked in. "Not to sound weird or anything but how do you know where I live?" You said in your state of confusion.

"The night after Bruce's party I carried you home, Natasha lead the way." He simply explained while taking his back pack off.

"Ah right." You said remembering the day.

"Anyway I'm not here to take up your time I just thought you'd probably want some stuff since your ill." He began opening his backpack. "So I got you tissues, chocolate I hope you like it, tea, you said you liked, cold medicine and I went to the bistro not too far from here and got you some soup." Bucky said and your jaw litterealy dropped, this was the man of your dreams at that moment you knew.

"Wow Bucky, if this is something you do when your friends are ill I'm gonna be ill more often, thank you so much." You said in amazement.

"It's honestly not a problem, oh and I bought over some work you missed from my and Steve's class so bring that in whenever your back." He said in more of his "teacher" voice.

"I take that back how dare you, I bet this was all a test of you checking if I'm actually ill." You said jokingly plopping down on the couch with a fake angry face and Bucky laughed.

"I bought you soup! Doesn't that like equal out with the fact that I'm making you do work?" He tried to negotiate.

"It's not fair I'm ill I don't want to be writing essays I'm so gonna email you telling you I've lost this." You said turning Netflix back on.

"I'm glad to know you value your education." Bucky said sarcastically and you laughed. "Anyway I've got a meeting to head to so I've got to go, enjoy the soup... and homework." Bucky said with a slight smirk.

"Thanks professor." You said rolling your eyes and saying it as if Professor was the most vile word to ever exist making Bucky laugh. "No in all seriousness thank you so much for this, mostly for the food, I'd hug you but I'm ill." You said standing up and walking him to the door.

"As I said it's not a problem, get well soon." He said with a smile.

"Thanks, bye."

"Bye." He said walking out the door and you shut it trying to comprehend what just happened. You didn't know how to feel, Bucky was perfect, if he wasn't your teacher you would be non stop flirting with him in hopes of him liking you but he was your teacher, he reminded you of it constantly. You did end up finishing his assignment or "homework" li he called it. At the end of the next lecture you had with him you wakes up the the front of the class where he was packing up to give him the assignment. "Hey you feeling better?" He asked noticing it was you.

"Yeah, just a bit sleep deprived because I was finishing this." You said putting the assignment down on his desk.

"Wow, I honestly didn't think you'd ever do it." Bucky said honestly.

"Yeah I wanted to prove you wrong that's why I did it." You said with a smirk and he laughed.

"What did Steve say when you have him the assignment or did you not?" Bucky asked.

"He was basically as shocked as you are." You said and Bucky laughed.

"I knew you'd do it." Bucky said confidentiality.

"No you didn't." You retaliated.

"Yeah, yeah I did." Bucky said with a smile and you rolled your eyes. "Anyway I'm heading to go grab a coffee and since you didn't sleep because of this assessment care to join me?"

"Yeah that would be great actually, I tried to get coffee at home this morning but couldn't." You said with annoyance as the two of you walked out the lecture hall in order to leave campus and go to a nearby coffee shop.

"Woke up too late?" Bucky questioned.

"No Wanda,"

"The one I met in the bagel place?" Bucky questioned.

"Yeah her!" You said happy for some reason that he remembered. "She and her boyfriend are remodeling their apartment so she's staying with me and Nat and it's SO crowded." You said your voice sounding exhausted.

"I can imagine." Bucky said with sympathy.

"The worst part is Vision, Wanda's boyfriend, insists to cook, but it's like he has no taste buds so it's usually bad and we just all eat it pretending that it's good, I miss food with taste." You said with a hint of saddens.

"I mean if you miss food so much you can always come over to mine for dinner." Bucky offered.

"No that's a lot of hassle." You said not knowing if he was being genuine or just trying to be nice.

"It's really not, since Dot I live alone it would be nice to have some company once in a while. I mean Steve and his fiancé visit often but it's just I don't know."

"It feels like they pay more attention to each other than you so you still feel alone?" You asked.

"You nailed that, yeah."

"Yeah I live with Wanda and Vision now, and I feel like I'm just a ghost in my own house watching them live their life."

"Wow this is way to deep before coffee.". Bucky said as you walked into the coffee shop and you laughed. "But honestly the offer still stands.

"I may actually take you up on that, do you want me to buy anything? What food we making?"

"I didn't think that far ahead." Bucky honestly said and you laughed. The whole time you were in the line you were planning what to eat, when you ordered coffee Bucky paid for it and you felt warm inside and happy that he's so kind to you. The two of you found a table and finally decided you'll make spaghetti bolognese for dinner. "Okay so what do you want me to buy and bring with me?" You asked and Bucky pulled a face like he's thinking. "Nothing I think I have everything, maybe something to drink."

"I think I have wine at home, do you like wine?" You asked.

"I love wine but don't tell Steve because I used to call it a girly drink but then I tried it, now it's my guilty pleasure." Bucky explained and you laughed.

"Okay I'll bring wine." You said with a smile.

You arrived at Bucky's that evening around eight, and he opened the door in just jeans, with wet hair and a towel draped around his neck. "Hi, sorry I lost track of time and just got out the shower." He said as he opened the door and it took everything in you not to check him out. "Ooo wine." He said with a smile.

"Hi, yes I bought the wine as promised you said handing him the bottle.

"Please come in, I'm just gonna go quickly, actually chuck some clothes on." He said walking out the room in his mind being shocked that you bit your lip upon seeing him - even though you personally didn't realise- he knew he was attractive as in he had the "good" body at least that's what society thought but he never thought you were in any way attracted to him. Although if he was being honest with himself he did purposely open the door top less in order to see how you'd react. When he came back into the room you were in the couch looking at your phone and making weird faces at it. "What you doing?" Bucky asked walking in.

"Telling Nat I won't be there for dinner and she needs to suffer alone." You simply replied.

"And you're telling her this be making weird faces into your phone?" Bucky questioned.

"No I'm using Snapchat." You explained.

"The all for nudes?" Bucky was extremely confused.

"No okay sit down old man." You said and he sat down next to you. "Look these are filters, the dog one is everyone's favourite." You explained clicking on the classic filter. "If you open your mouth see a tongue comes out." You said and Bucky opened his mouth and laughed unbeknownst to him you were recording and you kept recording for another few seconds while the two of you messed around with the filter. "Okay so now I recorded that, I can save it, post it to my story or send it to a friend or all three." You explained pointing at all the features, and also saving the video.

"But why would someone want a video of us playing with a filter?" Bucky asked honestly.

"I mean no you don't send stuff like that okay look I have a photo message from Nat because it's red and I got a video from my little brother because it's purple. So that's the two things you can send." You explained and Bucky nodded his head. "So Nat sent this." You said clicking on the snap and opening a selfie where she's rolling her eyes with the caption "vision thinks he can make tacos it's going to taste like shit again"

"So now I'd reply, so I take a selfie." You say taking a selfie with Bucky, and saving it just out of reflex. "Then I'm gonna add 'sucks to be you' as the caption, and send it." You said doing what you were saying.

"Right so it's texting plus selfies." Bucky said.

"Yeah or Peter my little brother likes to send videos because he's too lazy to type." You said clicking on a video of Peter, he was walking through the kitchen to the living room talking to his phone. "May is making dinner so if you want to escape Vision come over." He said with a smile. "Oh also." He added excitedly stopping and his eyes going wide. "Look at my new t-shirt it's a maths equation that says find X and X is circled and it says found it, get it? I love it so much." He said with a smile showing off his t-shirt to you and both you and Bucky laughed at Peter. You began to record a response straight away. "You're such a nerd!" You said zooming in on your face and zooming out and Bucky laughed. "But also that'sAReallyCoolTshirtAndI'mTottalyJealous." You said really quickly and under your breath and Bucky skilled as if he was trying not to laugh. "Anyway thanks for the food invite but I got this guy to cook for me." You said with a smile pointing the phone more onto Bucky and his eyes widened in a 'Really?' type of way as he said "that's what she thinks, but actually she's cooking." He said you scrunched your face up and replied. "Mean. See what I have to deal with Peter." And you shook your head before ending the video and sending it straight to Peter.

"Okay I get it, it's a fun way to talk." Bucky confessed.

"Exactly." You said.

"Anyway hungry?" Bucky asked standing up.

"Always." You said and he laughed pulling you up from the couch.

"Okay time to make some food I guess, I'll get the pasta and stuff out can you pour us some wine or whatever you want to drink, glasses are in the cupboard above the sink anything you want to drink is in the fridge." Bucky explained pointing to everything.

"Okay, you want wine I'm guessing." You confirmed and he nodded. The two of you ended up cooking in together harmony but also messing around. You were in charge of the sauce and he got the veg for the sauce ready and started to cook the pasta. Bucky turned on the radio in the background so you two had something to listen to although the two of you spent most of the time cooking talking, with moments where you two would sing along to songs or dance along. "Okay I think the sauce is ready." You said tasting it, the pasta was already done so Bucky was just sitting on the island counter behind you. You turned around with a bit of the sauce in the wooden spoon and bought it up to Bucky's lips. "Try it and see if you like it." You said and he did, his eyes going wide. "That is amazing!" He said and you smiled turning off the cooker. "Okay dinner is ready then." You said and Bucky jumped off the countertop. The two of you ate dinner with some light conversation it was really nice and you honestly forgot this was your teacher, it felt more like a date. "Do you want help with washing up?" You asked after dinner.

"I made you cook I'm not gonna make you clean too what kind of a monster do you think I am." Bucky said and you laughed.

"Technically we both cooked." You pointed out.

"I put water, salt and rice in a pot and let it heat up. That's all I cooked." Bucky said and you agreed with him.

"Okay fair point." You said. "Anyway I should probably slowly get going because I have an early shift at work tomorrow." You said with a hint of sadness you were really enjoying your evening.

"Okay I'll walk you to the door." Bucky said after putting the dishes in the sink. "Thank you for coming over it was nice to have someone around here again yano." He said opening the door and not making much eye contact.

"Honestly my pleasure it was nice to have a peaceful and tasty meal unlike anything that I'd ever get at home with Vision and Wanda around." You said and Bucky laughed.

"It tasted good because you cooked it." Bucky said and you shrugged. "Anyway have a good day at work tomorrow and thanks for coming once again." Bucky said as you stood in the doorway.

"Thank you for inviting me." You said as the two of you hugged goodbye. "Bye." Oh said in the hug before something unexpected happened as you pulled out from the hug Bucky leaned in and kissed you before immediately pulling away.

"Fuck! I'm so sorry." Bucky said in fear and shock and you didn't reply. "Old réflex from back when I was with Dot, I'm sorry bye." Bucky said closing the door as you still stood there shocked. He shut the door in your face and you just stood there for another few seconds trying to comprehend what happened. Professor Bucky Barnes just leaned in kissed you on the lips softly and immediately pulled away in embarrassment. It was a reflex he said that, it didn't mean anything you knew that but it didn't stop you from wishing that the kiss lasted a bit longer so you could kiss back so you could feel his chapped lips for longer however you knew how extremely wrong that was. When you gathered your thoughts from the shock you began to walk out the apartment building but you still heard a final "FUCK! FUUUUUCK!" Come out of Bucky apartment before hearing a crash. You decided to keep walking knowing that going back and asking if he was okay would just cause more awkwardness. You dreaded going back to class.

Part 7 | More stuff I wrote

Tags (send me an ask or message and I’ll add you): @iconictaurus@whosmarisaaarw @grayxswan@sideeffectsofyou @alt-er-love-er-alt

[awkwardanime]

Awkward Anime Episode 13: Hotarubi No Mori E

Takahiro Omori is no stranger to adapting famous Japanese stories and his 2011 45 minute animated feature is no different, telling the story of a young girl  falling in love with a mysterious “man”, whom she meets in an enchanted forest of the mountain God where spirits live. He explains to her that the touch of a human will make him disappear. When I was first recommended this film, the image I had in my mind was that of a melodramatic emotional roller coaster. What I got though, was very much a down to earth story amplified with stunning animation to produce a well done, bittersweet love chapter that most people write in their book of life.

Wait, stop right there! Spoilers ahead, so listen to me when I say you should go and watch this short film! Hurry back! You’re back? You watched it? Don’t you lie to me! Okay good, you may carry on…

Simply, this movie is, in my opinion, a delicate piece of art. I’m sure many had their heartstrings wrenched by this film, and I too was one of those people. But, not in an over the top, wiping my eyes constantly type of way. No, this truly wrenched my heartstrings by playing those notes oh so softly, I never once felt overly sad, never felt like crying, never gritting my teeth as my eyes witnessed a well told story.

The main challenge for Omori was to portray the monologues from the manga in a visual way - to represent the relationship between the two.

There were no melodramatic lines that I expected, there was no anger in the voices of Hotaru (young girl) and Gin (”man”). Director Takahiro Omori purposely told this plot with the use of sounds and atmospheric imagery to compliment the dialogue between the two main characters. Omori intentionally filled the animation with rustling leaves and constant chirping of cicadas, due to the significance of the Summer season to the story. I could easily see the extra attention that was devoted to the lighting and colouring of the film, with the forest being dim green which allowed the animators to then add the element of light shining through the canopy of leaves and hitting the characters with the right intensity.

“Fundamentally, it’s important that a character’s personality, visuals and role in the story not be a mismatch from the original story. So, it’s a balancing act.”

The original 2002 Manga had a rare moment focusing on Hotaru’s school life, however Omori in the adaption made sure to include moments, showing the outside world that she lives through each and every day to give that extra depth to her character and personality that could have easily been overlooked. I loved that the first 51 seconds of this movie was filled with aesthetically pleasing shots of the impending setting while hearing the sounds of chirping to add that ambience. It immediately had me relaxed, giving me the message of “sit back and relax, as we show you what the world has to offer - both good and bad. This is life”.

Having Hotaru tell her memories in a retrospective story, was a fantastic choice by Mr.Omori. It provided that human feel and had me as the viewer knowing how this relationship would end. Predictable is a word that is normally used in the criticism of a plot. Here though, for me that predictability helped me see the movie as it is and in the end made me enjoy the journey more. I definitely see how the ending would have had more of an emotional feel if there was no narration by Hotaru, but for me the way it was done was perfect. It epitomised what love is about. The nostalgia you’re brought back to. The day when you first lay eyes on a crush and you fall deeper into that hole knowing it’ll end in heartbreak. Young or Old, there will always be that memory of the one that “wasn’t meant to be”.

The fact that Hotaru’s walking strides got longer and longer while walking as the years went by, getting ever closer to matching up to Gin, portrayed that their love was to reach that middle ground, where they would be able to spend more than just a summer together. However, that ever present Mask which covered the face of the “non human” constantly reminded the audience and more importantly, broke Hotaru’s smile every time she saw it after a fun summer day. Knowing that you can’t touch the one you love, for both Hotaru and Gin, it must have been heartbreaking. Gin especially, as we never hear his thoughts or experience his lifestyle. We are told what his story is and that is simply enough to feel empathy and sadness towards him. Trapped in the forest of spirits, maybe those first words he spoke, “Hey, shorty” ,were said with the intentions of befriending a human, helping a young child find their way out, expressing his longing of leaving without walking out himself.

Animated to perfection. What can I say? The producer of this movie Shuko Yokoyama along with the Studio Brain’s Base did a fantastic job to add to the bittersweet atmosphere. The contrast between light and dark was used during the festival to represent its bizarre nature, showing that Hotaru should not be there. Omori intended for the art to represent a “different world” where the background scenery was obscure and the blue sky brighter than normal. This had me mesmerised throughout. The the spirits that appeared and warned Hotaru constantly were drawn in the most fantastical way, I still have that scene of the armed branch of a tree appearing and holding onto Gin playing on repeat in my head. The beauty of animation never ceases to amaze me.

A bittersweet, doomed from the start love story told in the most fantastical way, scattering the setting with phenomenal drawings animated beautifully to optimise our senses as an audience. I love the silence, the music and the movements that had me tingling with goosebumps appearing all over. I may want to get that checked out

Reminding us of the love chapter that we go through, meanwhile letting us know that it won’t last. A terrific piece of gentle heartbreak, this truly brought me back to the bittersweet endings that love brings. The important thing to remember :

With love, just like every book, the next chapter is always better than the last. Happy Valentines Day

Please share if you enjoyed this analysis and remember to eat those tiny trees!

Check out previous Eps:

Ep 12 - The Wind Rises

Ep 11 - The Secret World of Arrietty

Ep 10 - Tokyo Godfathers

Ep 9 - Garden of Words

Ep 8 - Kimi No Na Wa

Ep 7 - The Boy and the Beast

Ep 6.2 - Fading innocence of Ame

Ep 6.1 - Wolf Children Poster

Ep 5 - My Neighbor Totoro

Ep 4 - Summer Wars

Ep 3 - Spirited Away

Ep 2 - Koe no Katachi

[thorne93]

What Are We Gonna Do? (Part 13)

Prompt: Imagine that you’re Spencer Reid’s wife, and you get the news of his arrest in Mexico. But you’ve been keeping something from him and the team. How will it affect Spencer?

Word Count: 2366

Warnings: Language, violence, anger, drama, angst

Notes: This picks up right at the beginning of Season 12, episode 13. Spoilers from here till then. Thanks to my beta @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​

Tags: @ultrarebelheart @cocosierra94 @demongodess @brooklhyn  @marvel-imagines-yes-please

~~~~~~~~~

JJ stayed with you into the evening to make sure you were safe.

 “This is still my fault,” you said quietly, curled up on a single chair in your living room.

 “Y/N, don’t. You had no idea.”

 “But I’m a profiler, JJ, I should’ve seen the lies in that girl. I should’ve paid attention when Spencer said her name was different in the jail. I shouldn’t have just taken her word when Cassie appeared missing--”

She stopped you. “Hey, you didn’t know any of this would happen. Often times, we fail to see what’s right in front of us because we’re too close to the situation.”

 “How can he ever forgive me? If Diana dies--” You choked on the lump in your throat before swallowing it. “If Diana dies, it’ll destroy him. He won’t want anything to do with me. He’ll blame me and he should.”

 “Hey, if I know Spence, I know he would never hold you accountable.”

 “But he should,” you countered.

 “Why are you punishing yourself this way?” JJ asked.

 “I don’t know. I just… I won’t forgive myself if anything happens to her.”

 “We will find her.”

 Just then, your phone rang, it was Emily and the team.

 “Good news, bad news,” she announced through your speaker phone.

 “What’s that?” you asked.

 “I’m on the books first thing tomorrow with Judge Frost and AUSA Martinez.”

 “But all we have is a theory, and no support from the brass.”

 “That’s never stopped us before,” Emily reminded, and a small, tiny, flicker of hope ignited in your chest.

 “So we have 12 hours to make an airtight case for you to bring them,” JJ surmised as her eyes flashed to yours.

 “Yes, not only that, but we also need a paper trail.”

 Rossi mentioned coffee and you sprang from your seat like your ass was on fire.

 “What are you doing?” JJ wondered.

 You slipped on your hoodie and grabbed your purse. “I’m going to save my husband from that bitch. You coming?”

 She nodded and made a face of approval and you jumped in the car and floored it to the office. You arrived in PJs with JJ on your heels.

 “Where do we start?” you demanded as you walked in and dropped your purse.

 “You sure you’re up for this?” Rossi asked. “You need rest…”

 “I need my husband home,” you countered, already opening files. If it were you, he wouldn’t stop until you were home and that’s what you planned to do for him.

 “Y/N, could you come with me?” Emily asked politely. You stood and followed her to her office, where Garcia was sitting.

 “Hey, mama bear,” she greeted as she hugged you, looking upset, but you kept quiet.

 “Were you able to get Lindsey’s files from WITSEC?” Emily questioned.

 “I’m close but I need more time,” Garcia told her.

 “Garcia, what’s wrong?” Em asked.

 “Reid stabbed himself to get into solitary confinement,” she explained. Your hands flew to your mouth as you gasped.

 “What?! He did what?!” you said.

 “Oh, that’s great,” Emily said with a sigh of relief.

 “How is that good?!” you demanded, shrieking.

 “Well, he found a way to isolate himself,” she tried.

 “My husband just stabbed himself and you think it’s great? Are you insane?”

 “I know it’s not ideal--”

 “Not ideal? No, Emily it’s a fucking catastrophe.”

 “And here’s this,” Garcia added, handing an envelope to Emily.

 “What’s that?” you asked.

 “It’s my letter of resignation,” she informed both of you.

 “Oh, honey,” you crouched next to her. “You don’t have to do that.”

 But she was already shaking her head. “If Reid dies, I quit,” she countered, firmly.

 “We won’t let that happen,” Emily vowed.

 You nodded. “Garcia, come on. It’s me. It’s gummy bear, you think I’m going to let a psychopathic son of a bitch take Spencer away from me?”

 “He already has. You don’t go see him any more. You’re mad at each other. He’s already winning. Reid is almost killing himself, just to keep himself safe.”

 The truth of her words stung deeper than you ever thought they would. Because she was right. You’d let Lindsey and Scratch win. You let them tear your family apart.

 “No one knows more than me how dire and upsetting this is,” you said.

 “I’m exhausted. If Reid dies, I know that you’ll be right behind him to leave,” she informed and the silence from you confirmed that as you flashed a guilty look to Emily. “This whole thing is breaking me. I can’t watch you be in any more pain, I can’t have the people I love be distressed���And this whole year has been a roller coaster, and every time something happens, a little piece of me is chipped away. And if one more thing happens, I don’t think there’s going to be anything left.”

 “Then I support your decision,” you said finally after some silence had settled in the room.

 “What?” Emily demanded softly.

 “She’s right, Em. This job...it wears on you. In three months, I think I’ve started to grow gray hairs. Every time I’m out in the field with Spence, I’m terrified. So if she feels like she needs to leave, I get it.”

 “Thank you,” she said softly.

 “Alright. Well let’s make sure we get Reid home safe.”

 Emily grabbed the papers and files and brought them into the conference room as you joined everyone.

 “We leave no stone unturned.”

 “And if I find out you did, I’ll have your head on a platter,” you threatened to everyone. Everyone nodded and got to work.

-------------

 About an hour in, Tara said, “Hey, guys. Okay. I got Carol Atkinson crossing the border in Los Indios.”

 And like that, life was breathed back into you.

 “There’s a factory nearby that manufactures non-FDA-approved seasickness tablets, essentially, scopolamine pills.”

 Thank the heavens above.

 “Los Indios is only a 40 minute drive from Matamoros,” Luke added.

 “Looks like we’ve got Lindsey where we need her,” Rossi informed, a warm smile on his face as he looked at you.

 “Now we put the knife in her hand,” Emily instructed.

 Hours drug on as you continually looked through the papers, fighting the sleep that begged for you to take it. You couldn’t have coffee because of the baby either, so it was all you, all will power.

The flicker of hope was burning inside you but Emily was meeting in just an hour and you needed more proof, now.

 JJ found that Jack’s gun was used the day before Nadie’s murder. Deliberation went around the table about it, and it was discovered that it was Lindsey’s bullet. More questioning flew around as you were trying to keep up, but this pregnancy was making you exhausted. Luke spoke up and said that there was an abandoned truck found by Mexican authorities that matched Spence’s description, that was dumped 2 states over and it belonged to Victor Flores.

 You didn’t want to be a party pooper, but you were a realist. “Okay, this is great, everyone. But...isn’t this all circumstantial?”

 “She’s right,” Emily agreed. “Garcia, any luck finding Lindsey’s prints from her WITSEC file?”

 “I called in every favor I can think of and then some. It’s gonna take me like five more hours to cut through this red tape.”

 ----------

 Emily was about to leave when you said you wanted to go with her.

 “I need to be there. I want to fight that son of a bitch prosecutor,” you said, clenching your fist.

 “Which is why you won’t be there. Y/N, you’re an amazing agent, and usually, you’re well composed, but so far, when it comes to Spence, you’re too...emotional,” she countered. “It would be best if I went, on my own, as an agent.”

 “Okay, you’re right. But you call me as soon as you hear something,” you demanded.

 “You know I will.” She hugged you and left.

 You waited in the conference room at work as everyone sat tensely, awaiting the call with some sort of news.

 “While we have a few moments, I just want you all to know it means the world to me that you all have worked on this case for hours, when you’re exhausted.”

 “Hey, you’re family,” Rossi said as he rubbed your back.

 “I know but...still...this wasn’t easy, it was exhausting, daunting, and frustrating and my hormonal ass didn’t make it any better.” You laughed, for what seemed like the first time in ages.

 “Even if we get Spence out though, we’re not out of the woods yet. We need to find Diana,” you reminded.

 “And we will,” Walker promised.

 “I know…”

 Your phone rang and you picked it up faster than anyone could blink.

 “I talked to Judge Frost. She’s exonerated him, you can go get him from the prison.”

 “Oh my god!” you screamed as you jumped up and everyone jumped in fright. “Emily, thank you. Oh my god. Thank you.”

 You hung up and you were so excited, you weren’t even thinking as you started to jog out of the office in your pajamas, looking like shit.

 “Y/N, wait!” Rossi said as the whole crew trailed you. “What’s going on?”

 “He’s been released!” you shouted happily as you threw your arms around Rossi.

 “I’m coming with you,” JJ said and Garcia joined her.

 They let you drive and finally, after going in, telling them you were there for your husband, you waited a few minutes before they let you go back. You were so giddy and excited, all of the past grudges evaporated. You nearly ran to the room they escorted you to.

 They opened the door to expose your husband looking ragged.

 “Spence! You get to come home!” you nearly screamed as you ran to him, jumped in his arms, and wrapped your legs around his waist. You kissed him hard as he started to cry. Finally, someone else was doing the crying.

 “Thank God you’re okay,” he breathed as he held you tightly to him. “I was so worried.”

 “I’m fine, I’m fine. Let’s just get you out of here.”

 You tightly held his hand as they gave him his clothes back which was a suit and it looked amazing on him. You walked him out to Garcia who hugged him tightly.

 “Let’s go get my mom,” he said.

 You drove to the office, holding his hand, and relishing in his touch. You hadn’t had it in so long, it was starting to be hard to remember what he felt like. He stared at you the entire time, smiling, as JJ and Garcia sat in the back, giving you two space.

 “I’m so sorry,” he said quietly. “I didn’t want to see that video because I knew it would make me realize what I was missing, and I guess I couldn’t handle that.”

 “I know...I know it had to be hard on you. I’m sorry for abandoning you. I should’ve never done that.”

 “No, you should have. It made me realize what you were dealing with too. I was selfishly thinking of what I had to go through, but it didn’t dawn on me what you were being put through as well. It made me appreciate you so much more.”

 “And...Diana? Are you upset?”

 “I’m upset she’s missing, but if you’re asking if I blame you, no. I can’t possibly do that. You couldn’t help it.”

 “But I let her in the house. Cassie’s dead...That’s on me,” you started, before tears began to fall.

 “Hey,” he said, reaching over and wiping the tear off your cheek. “No, you had no idea who she was or what she was doing.”

 “Thank you...I love you.”

 “I love you too,” he quietly responded before kissing your hand.

------------

 You made it back to the office where they filled him in on all the details and found a house in Southeast D.C. that Lindsey was working out of. Everyone set out to leave before Emily blocked Spencer.

 “Spencer, I can’t let you go officially until you’re reinstated. But you can go back home…”

 He understood and he took a step forward but stopped.

 “Babe? You okay?” you questioned until you noticed the door was closed and your heart suddenly felt cold. “It’s...uh, it’s unlocked.”

 “Of course,” Spence said as he went forward and you grabbed his hand, never wanting to be away from him.

 JJ, you, and Spence went home, to see if he noticed anything unordinary. He immediately noticed a scrapbook on the coffee table.

 “Y/N, did you open this?” he asked.

 “No, why? What’s wrong? I just assumed Diana was flipping through it.”

 “This picture was on a different page,” he stated. He flipped over the picture and XX - XY were on the back of it.

 “Is that significant?” you questioned.

 “Other than the obvious of male and female chromosomes. Lindsey’s way of telling me she’s with Scratch.”

 A few minutes later, Spencer got a call and he put it on speaker.

 “Reid, listen to me, it wasn’t Scratch,” Emily’s voice sounded through the phone.

 “What?” he questioned.

 “It was Cat Adams. She gave us a video. You have to go see her.”

 “In prison?” you asked.

 “Yes. She said she will tell you where your mother is.”

 “I have to go,” he informed, already on the move before you grabbed his arm.

 “Woah, slow down, cowboy. You want to walk right back into prison? You want to walk into a trap?”

 “Y/N, I have to get my mom back,” he said.

 “I know that but...I just got you back,” you retorted, your voice breaking as tears started to flow.

 “And you’ll be with me. It’s a women's prison. Nothing bad will happen,” he promised before kissing your head.

 “Are you sure you’re ready for this? Cat? Your mom? Me?”

 “Yes, I am sure,” he vowed.

 “If you think you’re ready, I’m with you all the way.”

 Emily informed you of your flight plans and JJ, you, and Spence took off. Emily asked that JJ be there as a neutral party. Before long, you were at the correctional facility.