#it is a core belief of mine that Sam watched Some Like It Hot as a kid and imprinted on Daphne like a duckling

[loopnoid]

a pity she does not exist a shame he's not a.....

[soldatbarnes]

Sweet Dreams

Summary: After having a sex dream about Bucky, it’s pointed out by your friends in front of the man himself, and your adoptive father, Tony. // This had been requested.

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 1763

Warnings: This is ridiculous. There’s bad language and Smut, because of the sex dream. (oral sex, female receiving). Awkwardness, and some fluff?

A/N: Turns out I wrote more smutty pieces than I remember? I thought after all the drabbles and Lance Tucker that I’d post something Bucky for y’all. 

You lay on the bed watching as he stalked across the room, staring at you like a predator. His eyes looked like fire, and his bottom lip was lodged between his teeth. He let it go, soothing it with his tongue, standing at the foot of your bed.

“You gonna tell me what you want?” he raised his eyebrows at you, palming the growing bulge in his pants. You lay there, unmoving, eyes wandering over him. He wore only a pair of grey sweats, hair mussed as he gazed at your naked body.

“Buck, you know what I want.” You mewled, running a hand over your bare breasts and down to your core. Wet and wanting. Just how he liked it. A smirk graced his face, before he crawled up the bed, leaning his body between your legs. He wrapped his arms under yours, lifting you up slightly and his lips met yours in a bruising kiss. All tongue and teeth. Just how you liked it. You shivered at his touch, cold metal causing goosebumps. He moved his lips down your jaw, towards your ear and down your neck. Licking. Sucking. Biting. You wrapped your legs around his waist, shamelessly grinding your heat against his covered cock. You felt him smirk against your stomach as he was making his way down.

“Oh, honey..” he began, as he lifted your legs up and over his shoulders, “I’m going to ruin you.”

You moaned loudly as his tongue hit your clit. He always knew what amount of pressure to use and when. He went at you like a starving man, leaving no part of your pussy untouched. His favourite thing was to make you come all over his tongue. One minute his tongue was prodding, in and out of you. The next his mouth was firm around you, sucking, causing you to cry out in pleasure. Your fingers were in his hair, holding him in place, yanking when it felt all too good.

“Ohhhh Buckkyy..” you breathed, when his teeth grazed over your clit, before kissing like he would your mouth. Moments later you were undone, coming harder than you ever had before.

“Oh fuck!” you shouted, body shooting up. Your breathing was heavy, a light sweat coating your body. Looking around your room, you remembered that you were alone. “Fucking dream... Fucking great dream..” you mumbled, flopping back down on the bed.

You had dreamt of Bucky before, a few times. You’d never had a dream like that though. That was new. It’s probably from watching him in the gym earlier. The way his sweats hung low on his hips. He never wore a shirt working out, much to your frustration. 

Taking a deep breath you tried to settle your body. You could feel the ache between your legs, despite just having an amazing orgasm. You couldn’t help but think that the real thing would be so much better.

Unfortunately that could never happen. No matter how much chemistry you had with him. No matter how much flirting back and forth. It just couldn’t be. You sighed, silently wishing that your father was somebody else. You loved him with your whole heart, but sometimes he made things a little difficult.

“Good morning, love!” Your father greeted as you walked into the dining room. The team was all set up, having a family style breakfast. There was only one spot left, between your father and Bucky. You looked down, rolling your eyes before plastering a smile on your face.

“Good morning!” Everybody said their ‘hellos’ and ‘good mornings’ as you sat. Immediately Bucky grabbed the plate of pancakes to offer you as your dad held out the homefries.

“Bless you boys.” you smiled, kissing your dad on his cheek and quietly thanking Bucky.

“What, no kiss for me?” he pouted. You giggled and planted a quick one on his cheek, trying hard not to blush and think of your dream.

“Don’t give her any ideas Barnes.” your dad mumbled, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Just want her to be comfortable around me Tony.” he smiled, his white teeth shining, as he leaned his arm on the back of your chair.

“Well, she doesn’t need to be too comfortable with you.” Tony smiled at Bucky, close-lipped and uptight. He had been watching you and Bucky doing your flirtatious dance since you got back from University and he didn't like it. It’s not that he didn’t like Bucky, because the soldier had grown on him. He just didn’t like the thought of you with anybody.

Tony wasn’t stupid. You were a beautiful woman. Men were always fawning over you. And when you showed up he saw the looks on the teams faces. He also knew what a good looking man was, and knew enough that you were now surrounded by them. He didn’t like that. With you being so close with them he knew something was bound to happen with somebody, he just wished it would take longer.

“Well, not that this breakfast isn’t super fun, but don’t we have training in half an hour?” Sam asked, knowing that the men’s stare-off could last all morning.

“That we do.” Tony stood up. “Barnes, why don’t you help me clean up?”

“Sure thing, Stark.” he replied, standing quickly before gathering as many dishes as he could. Natasha watched them turning to make sure that they were out of earshot.

“What’s up with you this morning?” she asked you, giving a pointed look.

“I’m sorry?” you asked, afraid of where she was going with this.

“When you walked in your face went more red than it usually does.” Wanda commented.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” you cleared your throat, grabbing for your mug. 

“I think you do,” Nat said, getting up and sitting in your father’s empty seat. 

“When you saw Bucky your face drained, before going hot rod red.”

“It’s true.” Sam agreed, nodding. Traitor. They all knew about your crush on Bucky, and Nat could read everyone like a book. Steve just sat there, silently sipping on coffee, pretending to read the newspaper.

“It’s nothing really. I had a really weird dream and he was in it.” you shrugged, trying to play it off.

“Your face is red again.” Wanda commented. Steve peaked over the paper.

“What kind of dream?” Nat pushed. You knew she wouldn’t let it go.

“It was.. Ummm.. a dream... Of a sexual-ish nature..” you coughed. Hoping the conversation was over.

“That’s all? There was just a little heat?” the redhead carried on.

“Umm. Yeah. Nothing to write home about.” you shrugged.

“So, when nothing happens do you usual shout loudly like your finishing?” Sam asked, causing Steve to choke on his coffee.

“You had a sex dream about Bucky?” Tony’s voice sounded, the room growing silent. You turned and saw your father standing in the doorway, Bucky behind him, mouth wide open.

“D-Dad... Hey...” You didn’t want to have this conversation with anybody. You really didn’t want to have this conversation with your father. And you definitely didn’t want to have this conversation with your father with Bucky standing there. AND in front of the whole team.

“Don’t you ‘hey’ me!” he shouted. “That’s it! Barnes, you’re moving rooms!”

“What?” Bucky asked, looking at him like he’d grown another head.

“You sleep too close to my angel. Your moving rooms. Switch with Steve.”

“Tony..” Steve started.

“And no more walking around shirtless!! Clothes on! Put your arm away! And pull your hair up! I don’t know what it is about you, so we’ll change everything!” He was pacing back and forth. You wiped your hands down your face, mortified.

“Well, as fun as this conversation is, I’m going to go and figure out how to disappear now. Wanda you can have my things!” You shouted, running out of the room.

“Look what you did!” Bucky accused, staring Tony down.

“Look what I did?” he looked shocked. “Look what YOU did!!” Bucky gaped at him.

“Somebody should go check on her...” Sam mumbled.

“I’ll go!” Bucky and Tony spoke in unison, before staring at each other again.

“Uh-oh..” Sam and Nat exchanged looks.

“Are you into her?” Tony asked Bucky, the room stilling.

“Of course I am!”

“Then, you go.” Tony motioned.

You were laying on your bed, face down. Mortified. Your dad knew about your dream. Bucky knew about your dream. You were hoping the mattress would swallow you. A knock sounded on your door.  

“Go away!” you yelled into your pillow. You heard the door open and groaned. Nobody in this damn place knew anything about boundaries.

“Hey..” You sat upright and faced the door. Bucky was letting himself into the room, closing your door behind him. “Just wanted to make sure you’re okay.” he spoke gently, like he was trying not to spook you.

“Embarrassed beyond belief, but other than that.” you flopped back down, throwing your arms over your eyes.

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.” you felt the bed sink at the foot, figuring it was from the weight of him sitting down. “It’s alright to have sexual feelings. If they don’t come out in life, it makes sense that they happen in dreams right?”

“Yeah? You have sex dreams and then have them pointed out in front of all of your friends and father and the person they were about?” you huffed, angry at his patience and understanding.

“No. But that doesn’t mean that I don’t have them.” You resisted the need to peak from under your arms at him. “Look, if it makes you feel better, you're not the only one who has had a sex dream about somebody in the tower.”

“I’m not?” you questioned, leaning up on your elbows. “You dream about Sam don’t you? Look I know he’s delicious bu-” you were cut off when he pulled your leg, dragging you down towards the end of the bed.

“Tell me yours and I’ll tell you mine?” he smirked, running his hand over your stomach and down your thigh.

“I’m not telling you anything!” you squealed when he gave your thigh a smack.

“You sure about that?” he straddled his body over yours. “Nothing you want to talk about?” he nudged your nose with his.

“How ‘bout I guide you instead?” you asked breathlessly as he gazed through you.

“Sounds good to me!” he chuckled, bringing his lips to yours.

You might have ended up mortified, but at least you figured out that dreams could come true.

[nonamememoir]

Religion, Pathology, or Symbolic Interaction? A Personal Narrative on the Role of Fandom in Identity by Tori Bloom

In 2014 I created my Youtube channel, toritalkstoomuch. Four years later, the channel has 423 subscribers and a total of over 400,000 views. I started this channel with the purpose of creating and sharing fan videos— videos that are inspired by some original source material. The videos on my channel, for example, mostly consist of edited clips from television shows. I also run several blogs where I share artwork, posts, videos, and works of fiction by myself and other fans, and I have a fanfiction account where I create and share stories about the characters in the shows that I enjoy. These are content communities, places where people can share their work with others, and they have become especially important in the production of fan culture (Campbell, Martin, & Fabos, 2017: 45). Television has become a source of creative energy for me and many others in online fandoms. However, it would be an oversimplification to say that fandoms are merely creative outlets. Through my personal involvement in fan culture, I have realized the influence that television shows and fandoms have on one’s sense of self, whether that be for good or bad. Through self-analysis and with the support of several scholarly sources, I intend to examine how television shows and the fandoms surrounding them create their own worlds. I will examine the idea that fandom is religion, and ultimately suggest that this idea is lacking. In order to properly understand fandom, I will look at my involvement with the television show Supernatural and its fandom, and I will analyze this relationship in light of Herbert Blumer’s (2005) theory of symbolic interactionism. This, I argue, is how television shows and fandoms shape the individual, not by acting as a religion but as a point of reference for a fan’s identity.

I created my first fandom-centric blog, on the website Tumblr, in 2012. It wasn’t until 2013, however, that I became involved with television show fandoms. The first television show fandom that I became involved, and perhaps the most influential fandom for me, was the one surrounding the show Supernatural. This show is about two brothers, Sam and Dean Winchester, who travel around the United States fighting and killing monsters, demons, angels, and other supernatural creatures. Despite the show’s roots in fantasy, the themes of love, family, self-acceptance, and perseverance that this show explores are integral to its following. Supernatural, like many television dramas, serves as a mirror of its intended audiences values, fears, and hopes (Campbell, Martin, & Fabos, 2017: 190). Personally, as a young teen coping with mental illness, anxiety, and my impending high school graduation, I was drawn to the character Dean Winchester because I saw myself in him. Dean is a character that has a low opinion of himself and shows disregard for his own well-being. However, he perseveres with the support of his family and by finding happiness in saving other people. I have often found, when I am sad or lonely, that watching an episode of Supernatural or a Youtube video about Dean helps me feel better because I feel as though I am in the company of a friend, or family. This phenomenon is not exclusive to me, however, but is a part of the way that fandom functions. Television shows create their own worlds and the fandom becomes a part of that world. Michael Jindra (1994) notes in his analysis of the Star Trek fandom that the show relies upon the myth of utopia as an achievable future to maintain its following. In short, it gives people hope. Supernatural relies on its own myths.

Supernatural is founded in several myths that maintain and shape its following, and at the core of these myths is the idea that fans are capable of changing the world or, at the very least, their world. This theme is perpetuated through its plot lines, firstly. Sam and Dean manage to stop the apocalypse, come back from death, face the devil, and more. They don’t do this alone, however. In fact, one of the plot lines revolves around a prophet writing books about them and selling them. The books gain a following and a fandom, and the fans in the show often assist the brothers in their goals. Even within the show, the fans are made to feel like they are a part of the Supernatural world, a clear wink and nod to the fans of the show. Outside of the show, the Supernatural fandom is often referred to by fans and the creators of the show as the Supernatural (SPN) Family, inspired by a quote from the show, Family don’t end with blood”. This phrase creates a connection between fans, and creates the illusion that the actors, for instance, are family. Another example is the Supernatural Hot Topic merchandise line called “Join the Hunt”. This phrase is used to make fans feel as though they are literally joining these characters, or the stars of the show, in their journey. This relates to our discussion of media friends in class on January 25th. My personal interactions with the actors are indicative of the concept of media friends. In several of my tweets from 2013 and later I address the actors as if they are friends, responding to their tweets with my thoughts on the latest episode or telling them that I was voting for the show in an award contest. At one point, one of the actors of a minor character in the show liked a tweet of mine and I immediately screenshotted it and shared it with my real friends, excited to have been noticed. Although the sense of family can be inspiring, the truth is that most fans aren’t actually close with the actors. When, when a fan like myself receives attention from a celebrity their place in the fandom world is validated. The myths perpetuated by the television show, and by the fans in the fandom, become real because at the time, that single like on my tweet made me feel like a part of the family.

Fans are also integral in creating the symbolic world that fandom exists in. Some of the literature on fandoms, and the fans within them, suggest that fandoms are a religious phenomenon, with a set of beliefs, origin myths, rituals, and institutions (Jinra, 1994). Jinra notes that some fans within the Star Trek fandom have married other fans and passed on their love of Star Trek to their children, much like a family might pass on their religious values. Jinra also doesn’t seem to be implying that the Star Trek fandom, as a religion, is necessarily unhealthy. In fact, he says that this is a stigma associated with fandom, much in the same way that religion faces stigma for producing overzealous followers. Supernatural incorporates biblical symbolism into the show as one of its core aspects. The angel, Castiel, was introduced in season 4 and his journey since then has been about his battle between his love for humanity and his sense of duty to God and heaven. Supernatural humanizes the heavenly. The show depicts God as an absentee father figure, Lucifer as a dejected son, and humanity as God’s project. Yet, despite the show’s religious themes, I would argue that labelling the SPN family, and other fandoms, as religious is a misrepresentation of fan culture. On the one hand, I have seen fans worship the actors and characters almost like religious deities. For example, Misha Collins, Castiel’s actor, refers to his fans as his “minions”. There are shared beliefs among fans, much like a religion, such as the idea that family transcends blood ties and that sometimes doing the right thing means abandoning one’s duty. Some Supernatural fans have married within the fandom, like the Star Trek fandom, and they raise their kids to be fans as well. Based on my experience, there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it is not just the Star Trek fandom that produces a quasi-religious following. However, I argue that the term religion is too broad to describe a fandom, and that it implies that there is some fundamental difference between fandom and more acceptable interests.

Joli Jensen (1992) attempts to fight the stigma that fandom regularly produces pathologically obsessed fans who are depraved, amoral, and animalistic. In particular, Jensen questions the dichotomy between high culture aficionados and fandoms. This is not to say that overzealous fans do not exist, but as Jensen notes, this is not indicative of a flawed tendency of fandom to create radical followers. The tendency to see fanaticism as pathology, she argues, comes from the distinction between high culture and common culture. This relates to our class discussion on January 25th, about nonelite culture, the culture of the masses, especially involving leisure and mass media. Those who are interested in high culture objects of desire, like paintings rather than posters, or a scholarly journal over tabloid magazines, are considered aficionados. Fan culture, in its association with the middle class, is deemed to be the product of inept psychological health. That is, the characters, stories, and celebrities are seen as a replacement for healthy, real, relationships. The fan, as opposed to the aficionado, is considered to be rowdy and has a tendency for excess. Jenson asks why society doesn’t typically associate pathology with, for example, professors and their loyalties to specific disciplines, antique collectors, opera buffs, or gardeners. She believes the division between the aficionado and the fan is an assumed dichotomy between the rational and the emotional. Reason is desirable and praised, and high culture is associated with it. Lower classes, on the other hand, are associated with emotion. Yet, aficionados share the same, or similar behaviors as fans, often displaying emotional attachment to their interests. She uses herself as an example, stating that her academic papers and reviews are not much different from fan letters, and that she collects memorabilia from people who are considered part of elite culture, like Patsy Cline, William Morris, William James, etc. Ultimately, she says that the difference is that fandom is associated with the less wealthy, the less educated, the deviant, the common, and the irrational. n Jensen’s opinion, the distinction between high culture and nonelite culture is arbitrary and that “aficionado-hood” is fandom in disguise. This, I would argue is a point of criticism for Jinra’s (1994) suggestion that fandom is religion. The practices of a fandom are comparable to religion in the same way that high culture is. We could refer to all avid interest as religious, but then the term would be too broad and would lose its meaning. I suggest, based on this critique as well as my own experiences, that fandom is a world of symbolic meaning that is shared between individuals.

Herbert Blumer (2005) defines symbolic interactionism as the fact that humans interpret each other’s actions and give meaning to them, as well as the objects around them. Through symbolic interaction, we come to understand ourselves, what is important to us and others, and how we fit into the world. According to this theory, objects do not have inherent meaning; instead, their meaning is interpreted by individuals based on their interaction with others in society. Fandoms, I suggest, are niche communities, scaled-down societies, with objects that have meanings which are unique to that community. For example, the main characters of Supernatural drive a 1967 Chevy Impala, which is a family car that was passed down from Dean Winchester’s father to him. The car itself is an object without meaning, but in the show it represents family, rebirth, and freedom. Sam and Dean have lost a lot of family in the show, including their father, mother, and close friends, but the Impala has been a constant in their lives. Because of this, the car has become an important symbol to the fans. Another example of an important symbol in the show is the anti-possession symbol. This is a tattoo that the brothers both have. It is a pentagram in the middle of what looks like flames. The pentagram has meaning in the Wiccan faith, but in Supernatural the original meaning is altered. The anti-possession symbol represents imperviousness to evil, much like the original pentagram, and also a family bond. I myself have a t-shirt with the Impala printed on it, as well as a backpack and a pair of sweatpants with the anti-possession symbol on them. These objects are full of meaning for the fandom not because the show gives them meaning but because those who watch the show interact with others, see the importance that these objects have for other fans, and interpret the meaning that the symbols have for themselves. The spreading of symbolic meaning is related to content communities in particular. For example, I have several Youtube videos on my channel that explore Dean Winchester’s symptoms of depression. Each video has hundreds of views, representing other fans who have watched my videos and have seen my interpretation of Dean as a character with a mental illness. I interpreted his actions this way with reference to my own mental health battles, as well as through my experiences with other fans with mental illness who identified with Dean. The fans who watch my videos are exposed to how I, and many others, react to and interpret Dean’s character and then they either choose to believe that Dean has depression or they interpret him differently. All fans are not alike, simply adopting the social meanings that have already been assigned to these symbols by other fans. Blumer says that despite the repetitive behavior of people in a given society that does not mean that interpretation is not occurring. In fact, the only reason people act in specific ways in situations, or think certain objects have a specific meaning to them, is because they interpret them that way. Furthermore, there are many situations that do not have an agreed upon social meaning, and in those cases the actions of people might not align.

The premise of Supernatural, was not what initially interested me in the show. I was introduced to the show by other fans who had blogs which I followed. Supernatural was a part of the online social groups that I was involved in, particularly because my online friends were involved with something called shipping. The word ship, in this context, is short for relationship, and it is a verb used by fans to describe the fact that they wish that two characters would be in a relationship with each other. In the show Supernatural the most popular ship is between Dean Winchester and a male angel named Castiel. The ship is commonly referred to as Destiel. This ship is a subculture of the SPN family. Through this subculture I became more aware of the effects of television representation on the real world. Besides writing fiction, fandoms often write analyses of the television show, either to predict what will happen in future episodes, to point out troubling stereotypes and tropes within the show, or to explain their interpretations of the episode. Thanks to the analyses of Destiel fans, I was introduced to the concept of queerbaiting. Queerbaiting is a term used to refer to a tactic used by producers of television and film to suggest a homoerotic relationship between two characters in order to draw attention but without the intention of ever legitimizing the relationship (Brennan, 2016). Analyzing and criticizing queerbaiting was a part of being a Destiel fan, something that differentiated us from the whole of the SPN family and which defined us as a group. We were critical of the techniques that the producers of the show used to maintain their following. Destiel fans have faced a lot of backlash from the SPN family, the producers, and there has even been disagreement within the subculture itself. Through my blog on the website Tumblr I was introduced to anti-Destiel fans. These fans are a part of the SPN family, usually, but they interpret Dean and Castiel’s on-screen relationship as strictly platonic and not an instance of queerbaiting. Within the Destiel subculture there is disagreement, with some wishing for the writers to introduce Destiel as a legitimized romantic relationship on the show and others arguing that, although they like the idea of the couple, a legitimized relationship would ruin the essence of the show, which is about family and, more specifically, the brothers. Despite the unique and often contradictory interpretations of the show, the SPN family comes together at times, sometimes enacting real social change.

The internet has given new power to social movements, and sometimes those movements begin, or are promoted by, fans. Although the movements that the SPN family has kickstarted are not quite as significant as, say, the Arab Spring, the internet and social media have been key in giving ordinary people the ability to start or become involved movements (Campbell, Martin, & Fabos, 2017: 263). In 2009, Misha Collins used his twitter account to ask fans for ideas for a charity. He ultimately co-founded a non-profit organization called Random Acts (n.d.), which is devoted to inspiring random acts of kindness across the world. Misha also began the Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen (GISHWHES) as a way to gain support for Supernatural to win a People’s Choice Award, but it was also a means of getting people outside of their comfort zones (Miller, 2016). I have personally participated in this scavenger hunt because other fans who I considered friends asked me to join their team, and although the prize, a trip with Misha Collins, was desirable I competed just for fun. On the one hand, GISHWHES was originally a marketing scheme, much like we saw in the film Generation Like in class on March 27th. In that film, we saw how fans of The Hunger Games were encouraged to compete, and promote the show, in order to be labelled the number one fan of the series. However, GISHWHES was also about bringing fans together as teams and promoting the show’s values. In particular, the scavenger hunt’s strange tasks served as a reminder that it’s okay to be considered an outcast, or weird, because in the SPN family, you are accepted.

Fandoms are not just creative outlets, and they are not a place which necessarily cultivates pathology or acts as a religion. Based on my own personal narrative in my experiences with the SPN family, as well as the input of a few academic sources, I have suggested that fandoms epitomize Herbert Blumer’s (2005) theory of symbolic interactionism. The meanings behind certain symbols are interpreted by fans based on their interactions with others as well as what those symbols indicate to a person’s pre-existing sense of self. For me, Supernatural has encouraged my creative capacities because I believe in the values that the show, the actors, and the fans share. Fandom is diverse, and sometimes the show and its important symbols are interpreted differently by individuals. However, thanks to the internet and content communities, the shared meaning that fans find in a show can result in social change. Sometimes this social change is as simple as changing an individual, such as myself, and teaching them to become more critical of queer representation, and sometimes the social change is on a larger scale in the form of non-profit charities. Overall, fandoms are communities in which fans can view themselves in light of certain shared values. For Supernatural this shared value is, above all, the value of family.

Bibliography

Blumer, H. (2005). Society as Symbolic Interaction (S. P. Hier, Ed.). In Contemporary Sociological Thought: Themes and Theories(pp. 91-100). Canadian Scholars' Press.

Brennan, J. (2016). Queerbaiting: The ‘playful’ possibilities of homoeroticism. International Journal of Cultural Studies,21(2), 189-206. doi:10.1177/1367877916631050

Jensen, J. (1992). Fandom as Pathology: The Consequences of Characterization (L. A. Lewis, Ed.). In The Adoring Audience: Fan Culture and Popular Media(pp. 9-29). Routledge.

Jindra, M. (1994). Star Trek Fandom as a Religious Phenomenon. Sociology of Religion,55(1), 27-51. doi:10.2307/3712174

Miller, S. (2016). Rejoice! Misha Collins' Greatest International Scavenger Hunt the World Has Ever Seen is back. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2016/jul/29/misha-collins-greatest-international-scavenger-hunt-the-world-has-ever-seen

Random Acts. (n.d.). Our History. Retrieved from https://www.randomacts.org/history/