#it is 1989tv release day and i have three thoughts in my brain that are not dasey

[venturismcdonald]

Derek Venturi is 1989 by Taylor Swift: a sleep deprived essay.

To start: Derek appears to be shallow, fun, kinda ditzy and most importantly, catty. We know Derek's a petty asshole, which is part of Taylor's image during 1989 era. He's also a playboy/cad/whatever word you'd like to use to describe him. Taylor's image at the time was as this serial dater who's obsessed with men. We all know that they both didn't have many serious relationships at this time (honestly, their dating amount wasn't even much more than normal) but they want them.

The 1989 album focuses very strongly on themes of passion and perception. The truth can be whatever you want it to be and it can be twisted to be whatever you want it to seem. That's a motto that, as "king" of SJST High, Derek can live by. He also likes to twist stories to fit his own view of what happened, regardless of the truth. Truth and perception all depends on who you are and what angle you're looking at it from. Passion can kill. Perception is keeping it so that the death is covered up.

One of the core components of Derek's character is that he's passionate. He doesn't think before he does things, he lives his life based solely on his passions, and most importantly, he thinks with his heart, not his mind. Whatever logic Derek possesses (because to say he has none would be incorrect) is hidden away because he doesn't want to be logical. He wants to be able to exist solely on vibes, not on emotions (which are GROSS) or the stupid rules people put on him.

Track One: Welcome To New York

"Like any true love, it drives you crazy."

We all know Casey's the one with the real connection to New York, but this is not a song specifically about New York City. It's about going to someplace where you feel safe, about a home that's loud and vibrant and loving. For Derek, that's the McTuri house. It's insane and everything he wants, really. There's never a boring moment with Derek around, but especially in that house. It's where he grew up, where the marks on the wall are with his height and the memory of Marti tackling him.

Track Two: Blank Space

"Cherry lips, crystal skies/I could show you incredible things/Stolen kisses, pretty lies."

Derek's perception within London is someone who's a serial dater. He doesn't take any of it seriously. The song was written to satirize that experience, to make it seem realer than it actually is. From what we see, all the man does is go on a few dates, get two serious girlfriends in the entire show. This is a man who knows what his own love life is, that it's going to be dramatic and heartbreaking but he genuinely loves and loves hard. He can't help being popular and beloved and the victim of rumors.

Track Three: Style

"Fade into view, oh/It's been a while since I have even heard from you."

This is exactly how Derek feels about Abby. I'm aware Style is about a romantic relationship, but the general theme of an on/off relationship works for his bond with Abby. She shows up sometimes, but she's with other people so often, prioritizing them, that he feels sort of forgotten until she comes into view.

Track Four: Out Of The Woods

"Two paper airplanes flying, flying."

The anxiety present in this track and how terrifying everything is works very well for Derek's fear of Casey. He doesn't fear her, of course (because she's lame and he's cool), but he fears the way that she can control him. Being out of the woods would be being free from Casey and her stupid hold on his stupid heart. Hence why he runs away to Paris.

Track Five: All You Had To Do Was Stay

"Why'd you have to go and lock me out when I let you in?"

Derek's completely aware of how all of this sucks, and the fact that he left, but he maintains that Casey left first. This is all her fucking fault, because she's the one that was in his fucking jersey, which made him run. She was going to lock him out, so it made sense to run first. He was protecting his stupid, foolish heart.

Track Six: Shake It Off

"Got nothin' in my brain/That's what people say."

Some people have the fucking audacity to accuse Derek of being a man whore. Which, yeah, it's kinda cool, but! Derek's not a whore, he dates a normal amount of girls, and it's no one's business! He's smart and has knowledge, even if no one sees it. He can't help that girls like him, so he just shakes off the criticisms from everyone, even George.

Track Seven: I Wish You Would

"You're thinkin' now that I hate you now 'cause you still don't know what I never said."

Why on earth did someone hate Derek enough to make him want Casey so much he's in physical pain over it? She's with Peter because she's a fucking coward and now he has to deal with it, because Derek didn't take his stupid shot and tell stupid Casey that he likes her stupid self.

Track Eight: Bad Blood

"Still got scars on my back from your knife."

Derek is aware that he sounds insane, but fucking hell, the fact that Sam likes Casey is the world's biggest betrayal. He can't believe this happened, because this is cruel. This is the worst thing to ever happen and it's totally not because he has some weird feelings crawling up in his throat and feeling like Sam is stealing his Casey.

Track Nine: Wildest Dreams

"Tangled up with you all night, burnin' it down."

So what if Casey has a new boyfriend? It doesn't matter. Even if the new boyfriend is Peter, Derek is going to ignore that because he's still haunted by that fucking kiss, and he's going to be haunted forever.

Track Ten: How You Get The Girl

"And that's how it works/That's how you get the girl."

There is no true way to say how absolutely absurd Derek thinks the fact that guys say it's hard to get a girl is. He thinks the entire thing is bullshit. And, look, it's not hard to make a woman swoon! It's time to teach a course. Not to Peter, but to the children, who need so much help getting dates.

Track Eleven: This Love

"These hands had to let it go free and/This love came back to me."

Everything is fucking tragic, because he lost touch with Casey for years, but now she's there. They're together, again, and everything might actually be okay.

Track Twelve: I Know Places

"Just grab my hand and don't ever drop it, my love."

Hiding is easy. There are so many corners and places where Derek can hide, places where Derek can just exist with Casey and her insane ass without anyone watching. Their life was always on view, everyone watching, but now everything can be on their terms.

Track Thirteen: Clean

"I screamed so loud, but no one heard a thing."

Casey's a fucking addiction, one Derek can't be clean from, but there's a fucking ocean keeping them apart. And her goddamn husband. Still, he fucking hates this. Everyone thinks that he's over her, but he's screaming in every fucking song that he's not.

Track Fourteen: Wonderland

"Life was never worse, but never better."

They were toxic in Queens. It was a weird flirtationship that was never going to be healthy when they were in that in between stage, so he left Wonderland. And fuck, being lost in it was glorious.

Track Fifteen: You Are In Love

"Time moved too fast, you play it back."

It's so stupid to feel so much for her after all these years, but Derek cannot escape Casey's hold on him. He's so stupidly in love with her, his best friend.

Track Sixteen: New Romantics

"The rumors are terrible and cruel, but most of them are true."

A little bit of a slut era for Derek in his early twenties is what he needs, to cope with Casey getting married. He hooks up randomly for a year, gets a girlfriend, she gets pregnant, and he's not a new romantic anymore, but he's building castles out of bricks.

Track Seventeen: "Slut!"

"Half awake, takin' your chances."

Everything makes sense when he's with Casey, even if he's called a slut. She's the one, goddammit, and Derek's okay with it. All he wants is her, so he'll take the shitty rumors and occasional subtweets from Peter.

Track Eighteen: Say Don't Go

"And I'm yours, but you're not mine."

Just because Derek left, that doesn't mean he's okay! He's mad, selfishly, in a self-destructive sense. If she had just called and asked Derek to stay, he would've flown back. But she didn't, because she doesn't love him, and he just has to accept that.

Track Nineteen: Now That We Don't Talk

"Truth is, I can't pretend it's/Platonic, it's just ended."

Things have changed, and even though they talk, it's different. Everything is different. Rumors are half of how he knows her now, from the kids and Simon likes to share his observations, but Derek's trying to understand how everything works in this relationship now. Nothing is sensical. What the fuck are they?!

Track Twenty: Suburban Legends

"You were so magnetic, it was almost obnoxious."

Peter is cheating, and he's doing it right in front of Derek, who wants to tell Casey, but he can't. He just can't do this when he doesn't have proof, it's just suspicions, but god, they'd be a legendary couple. Derek would never hurt her like this. They would be suburban legends.

Track Twenty One: Is It Over Now?

"At least I had the decency/To keep my nights out of sight."

It's been years, and Derek's living with Casey now, but things aren't over. He doesn't know if they'll ever be. Will they ever get over each other? Probably not. But Jesus, he wants to. Kind of. He also wants to shove her against a wall because the longing is giving him way too many soft thoughts. She's with Peter, allegedly in love, and this is cruel because he's forced to know that every time he sees her stupid ring.