#it hurts to remove so I'll probably keep for another day or so

[nor-4]

Formula 1 Incorrect Quotes with reader Two

F1IQ - Part One

Y/n: Bitch why don't you shut the fuck up before i slit your throat and watch the honor roll out?

Max: Are you threatening me??

Y/n: No, I'm hitting on you, flash me a titty bitch.

Lewis: Yeah uh, there's something I've been wanting to say lately.

Y/n: Oh what's that?

Lewis: The N-Word

Y/n looking at toto: Look at your dad. Such a dork, keeping bees.

Y/n: I mean atleast it's interesting though. At least like, i wish my dad kept bees.

Y/n: I mean it's kind of cute. Like, your dad keeps bees.

Y/n: How old is your dad? He's obviously beekeeping age. I dont know. I think It's kind of sweet.

Y/n: George, i wanna fuck your dad.

George: Oh really?

Yuki: Hey can i sit with you?

Y/n: Why

Yuki looking at stroll and ocon: The kids at the other table keep throwing ketchup packets at me.

Y/n: You're not covered in ketchup, though

Yuki: They don't know you have to open it first

Y/n: Damn. We need remedial bullying class too.

Yuki: So how do you like your remedial english?

Y/n: I guess it's whatever. My mom was really pissed, though.

Yuki: Yeah? What about your dad?

Y/n: My dad killed himself.

Charles: I'm finally seeing someone good for me.

Alex: Omg who is it?

Charles: A therapist

Y/n: max is pissing me off *20 minutes ago*

Y/n: nvm just got dicked down

George: Girl what..

Fernando: Every time i talk to you i feel confused.

Fernando: I've never met anyone that speaks like you do

Y/n: Stop lovebombing me

Fernando: what? It's not a compliment

Fernando: You scare me

Y/n: What are you hiding from me?

Zhou: Nothing..

Y/n: Zhou Guanyu.

Zhou pulls out a cat: The cat distribution system chose me okay

Y/n at drive to survive: If he cheats on you, put hair remover in his shampoo, you wanna act like Andrew tate, u gon look like him too.

Lewis wearing a beanie: I CAN'T LIVE LIKE THIS FOREVER

Toto: That's your fault. Being too quick signing your seat with ferrari

Oscar: Are you high?

Lando: Am i what?

Oscar: High

Lando: Hello

Christian: So what could a Mercedes principal possibly have then?

Y/n: I just feel like he'd be into satan-worship, or at the very least have a sex diary.

Christian: A toto wolff sex diary would be horrifying. He's like our rival.

Y/n: We say that about Stephen king books, we still read those.

Daniel: "Dear diary, hot candle wax hurts so good"

Christian: No it'd probably be like a thesaurus of words for "Good"

Daniel: Yeah he probably sexts with perfect grammar.

Y/n: "My wife showed an exquisite exhibition of lust for me."

Toto: Let me try something different here. Do you guys have thoughts and feelings for one another?

Y/n: Uhh i think George's kinda spoiled

George: And i feel like y/n's a bitch

Y/n: What're you gay?

Alex: What.. How did you know? I've never told anyone that.

Y/n: Dude look at your hair dye, you're either gay or color blind.

Lance: bro stop chanting in dead language's your scaring the hoes

Y/n: Bitch you is so lonely I'm summoning the hoes

Sebastian: You used to be shy, now you're a whore

Y/n: There's a thing called character development

Oscar: Reminder that I'm very sweet and endearing so be nice to me

Carlos: or what

Oscar: or I'll punch your lights out

Hey yall this is a bit short cause I'm finna make a random crack twitter posts n I'll post it in the most random day. I love yall baby💋

[thezombieprostitute]

The Arrangement - Part 10

Summary: Jake's done a lot of things to keep his sister, and then his niece, safe from his parent's influence and manipulation. If he wants to keep them safe, he has to marry you.

Warnings: Bad parents, Implied abuse, Implied violence. Let me know if I missed any!

Part 9 -- Part 11

Series Masterlist

As you calm down, Jake waits until you tell him to before he lets you go. He can't imagine how much you might need this so he'll hold you for as long as you want.

You sniffle and shake your head as you gently push away from him. "I'm sorry about that," you splutter.

"No need to apologize," he assures. "It's been a really crazy couple of days. Probably a lot longer than that for you."

"I should get to work on the dishes." You try to move past him but he holds out his arm.

"I said I'd do the dishes," he reminds you. "Not only did you cook breakfast, you cooked a lot more food than you should have. The least I can do is help out with the clean up."

"You had to actually talk to them," you quietly argue. "I just sat and refilled drinks."

"You also really helped me out, reassured me when I was feeling lost," he gently countered. "Please let me do this for you?"

It takes you a minute of internal waffling before you tell him, "okay. And thank you."

As you start tearing up again Jake is quick to ask, "are you okay? What's wrong? Do you need another hug? Are you hurt?"

"I'm just...I'm just not...not used to such kindness," you confess as you wipe the tears away.

"Doing the dishes for you is more than you're used to?" You nod and Jake feels a renewed wave of anger at your family. "Would...would it help if you supervised my cleaning? Make sure I'm not cleaning your cast iron by putting it in the dishwasher?" Your eyes go wide and you gasp, but he's quick to smile and reassure you that he would never do that. "It's one of the few cleaning things I will forever know, if only because it came up in a trivia night one time."

The giggle escapes before you even knew it was forming. You slap your hand over your mouth, embarrassed but Jake's eyes are lit up. Everything in his body language tells you he's not angry or offended at your outburst, but happy about it.

"If you want me to ignore that, I will," he comments. "But I would be happy to acknowledge it!" He looks at you like an excited puppy eager for praise and you can't help but continue giggling from behind your hand. He starts shaking with excitement but he's not saying or doing anything because you haven't said if you want it acknowledged. Unfortunately that's just making your fit more uncontrollable.

You remove your hand and gasp between fits, "it's okay. I'm so sorry. I don't know why I'm laughing this much. I'm sorry."

Jake lightly bounces as he assures you, "it's okay! There's nothing to apologize for! Sometimes a thing just tickles your fancy. It could also be a response to all the stress you've been through. When was the last time you had a really good cry? Or a really good laugh?"

"It has been a long time," you sigh, keeping your head down as you finally get your laughing under control.

"So, would you be willing to supervise me in the kitchen?"

"That sounds nice," you nod.

"And you promise to correct me if I do something wrong? Or before I do something wrong?" You hesitate at that. "I promise I don't want to upset you. I just...we're going to be going to a lot of parties soon. I'll have no idea what I'm doing. I'm going to need your help." You look up at him, eyes a mix of emotions. "I...I get the impression you're not...you don't correct others." You lower your face in shame. "Hey, it's not...I get why. I really do! It's not a judgment, I promise!" Jake's tone becomes a little more frantic, but no less pleading, soft. "And I'm gonna need your help to not make an ass of myself at these parties. That includes correcting me or stopping me before I do something stupid. The kitchen supervision could be a good way to practice that for us?"

"That...that makes sense," you agree. "I promise to try?"

Jake smiles, "thank you so much, Sharky!"

"Sharky?"

"Sorry, I'm used to friends with nicknames," he quickly explains. "And, I figured you...you like sharks so much you literally studied them...I swear it sounded better in my head." His face looks chagrined as he rubs his hand on the back of his head.

"I...I've never really had a nickname before," you tell him. "I kinda did when I was studying, but it was definitely derogatory." Jake's eyes turn sad. "Derogatory regarding my background. No matter how much work I did, I was still called 'Princess' because of my family." You shake your head to dispel the memory. "But 'Sharky' sounds a lot nicer." You give him a soft smile that has Jake's heart fluttering.

As the dishes get loaded into the dishwasher and the others await the required handwashing, you decide to ask Jake about something that's been bothering you.

"Your father," you hesitate, knowing it's a sensitive topic. "He mentioned something about your niece?"

Jake sighs, the smile on his face dropping. "You remember my sister was engaged to Travis?"

"Of course."

"I got her out of it by, essentially, hiding her far away from here. She met someone, fell in love, and they had a daughter." Your eyes widen slightly in surprise. "She's only 8 years old," he continues. "But she's super stubborn, like her mother. Smart, like her father. And she's damn good at soccer, minus some bad calls from a ref."

You smile a little at that. It's very clear he cares a lot for her.

"But my parents found out about her," he continues. "They hinted that they know where she and Sarah live and they flat out told me that, unless I agreed to marry you, to be the obedient son they always wanted, they were going to marry her off to your brother."

You gasp at that. You knew your parents were determined to solidify power and position by combining the families but you didn't think they would go so far! And to your brother, who would be twice her age upon marrying her! Your blood freezes as you think of how badly he'd hurt her.

"Hey, Sharky? You okay?"

Jake's voice breaks through the bad memories, "sorry. I just...I'm happy to help you keep her safe."

"Thank you for that."

Part 9 -- Part 11

Series Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @ashdoctor; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @irishhappiness

@jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @lokislady82; @ronearoundblindly; @thiquefunlover63

[leclerc-s]

snow angel - track two

series masterlist // previous // next

2 YEARS AGO

i'll fucking fight him. i swear it.

no honey, you don't have to.

i saw this coming.

how on earth could you see this coming?

he was distant.

i've told him i loved him for days and he always responded me "me too" or worse he said nothing back

oh sweetie

how did you put up with that? you deserve so much better.

it's okay. i'm moving out of our apartment tonight. ryan said i can stay with him for a few weeks.

i love him lily. i don’t know when those feelings will go away. i hope they go away soon. i can’t keep loving someone who hurt me this bad.

i promise you i’ll fight him when i see him in bahrain next season.

i hope he dnfs

i hope you write a fucking day destroying album because of this. he will never know peace

oh lily, i'm going to ruin his fucking life with whatever i come with.

lily muni he removed lando norris

lily muni he fuck that guy

charles leclerc i do not understand what happened? george russell you're telling me the chronically online guy doesn't know what just happened? alex albon the grid's #1 gossip girl doesn't know what happened? charles leclerc NO I DON'T KNOW THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING CONNARDS!

pierre gasly lando cheated on rhea

max verstappen i can crash into him in bahrain next season?

yuki tsunoda i will bite his ankles. lily muni he i'll poison his food yuki tsunoda we will not go that far. food is sacred.

esteban ocon does this mean that **** can finally **** ***?

lance stroll how about you shut the fuck up esteban? max verstappen what the fuck are you two going on about now? lance stroll ignore esteban. he's a bit delirious.

daniel ricciardo i promise to make his life miserable next year.

rhea reynolds i'm just pissed that he was too much of a coward to end our relationship before he went on to publicly cheat on me.

rhea reynolds at least try to not get caught.

charles leclerc what is it the kids say? he fumbled?

lance stroll please never use that phrase again

pierre gasly she's probably crying to taylor swift now

rhea reynolds LET ME BE PEAR GASLY! daniel ricciardo yeah, pierre let the girl be emotional! rhea reynolds if i'm crying to all too well that's nobody's business but mine

charles leclerc you can come to bahrain with me!

max verstappen or me! daniel ricciardo you're both thinking too small. show up with me. can't promise i'll have a good race or win but it'll show him!

rhea reynolds thanks guys but i'm not really up to going to races anytime soon.

lily muni he never let a man take anything from you. GO TO THE RACE!

rhea reynolds nah, not really up for it right now but i could change my mind in a few months. it's literally december!

charles leclerc i will save a spot for you regardless.

yukitsunoda it's okay, i can bite his ankles if he comes near you.

rhea reynolds i appreciate the sentiment yuki

rhea reynolds besides, i'll never date another fucking driver again.

rheareynolds posted new stories

nothing better than taylor swift to help with heartbreak who needs men when cats are much better company?

liked by lilymhe, charles_leclerc, mickschumacher and others

rheareynolds home for the holidays update: i adopted a cat, i got cheated on (i should stick to dating women), and goats hate ryan. p.s. the first picture is what i sent to max when he made fun of me for getting cheated on.

tagged: vancityreynolds

view all comments

maxverstappen33 THAT’S NOT TRUE AND YOU KNOW IT!

↳ rheareynolds you told me and i quote, “that’s what you get for dating a guy who looks like a walking orange.”

↳ maxverstappen33 i called him ernie and then a walking orange. get it right.

lilymhe my offer still stands

↳ yukitsunoda0511 mine too! i can bite ankles!

↳ rheareynolds thanks guys but i'd rather not have to bail you out of jail for assault.

user01 so did they break up? or what? the chismosa in me needs to know

user02 it's okay rhea, he didn't deserve you

user03 fuck men, am i right?

comment liked by rheareynolds

vancityreynolds you're lying to everyone blake made those cinnamon rolls, not you.

↳ rheareynolds must you ruin everything?

↳ vancityreynolds it's my job as your older brother.

georgerussell63 why get an orange cat when he's a walking orange?

↳ alex_albon because rhea is the embodiment of an orange cat

↳ rheareynolds it's true. i've been told many times

user04 love to see that loser's friends are on her side. how are you going to publicly cheat on your girlfriend?

↳ user05 but did he cheat? what if they were broken up?

↳ user06 either you can't read (no offense) or you didn't read the caption, she literally says, "i got cheated on" they were very much together. stop trying to invalidate her pain because you love l*ndo

user07 it's okay baby, you can date me instead

↳ rheareynolds thanks for the offer babes but i should stick to being single for a while ❤️

↳ user07 i'm screaming!

user08 rhea's better than me fr. i would've destroyed his car carrie underwood style.

maxfretwell going to miss your cookies. that's the worst part about all of this

↳ rheareynolds yeah cause fuck my heartbreak right?

↳ maxfretwell that's not what i meant and you know it!

↳ rheareynolds can't wait to see the gossip pages say max fretwell says rhea reynolds' heartbreak is not validated

↳ maxfretwell i take it all back this is why he cheated on you

↳ rheareynolds TOO SOON FRETWELL!

↳ user09 curse n*rris for taking this duo away from us!

taglist: @emilyval @ihateyougunthersteiner @lesliiieeeee @firetruckstuckley @cashtons-wife @landonorizzz @yoremins

strikethrough means i couldn't tag you

CLICK HERE TO BE ADDED TO THE TAGLIST

¡leclerc-s speaks! i was listening to say don't go while write the first half of this. hence, the reference to the song.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[obscenely-overdue]

[OOC] Weighted Pregnant Belly Instructions

Hi everyone! For those interested, I've jerry-rigged a method to pad/simulate/wear-a-fake-pregnant-tummy-for-kink-purposes with some real weight and firmness to it that I think people would like! It works very well for me but is also functionally a prototype/first pass at the idea, so there are certainly areas that it could be improved. (which is me saying "experiment and improve upon this, we can make it better!")

I'll preface this with the fact that, if you pay full price for everything involved, assuming you have NONE of it to start, it's probably about $120. That said, about $20-25 of that comes from a specific kind of pillow and blanket, which you very well may have, which would bring it realistically down to $100, and some of it is stuff which can be bought on sale pretty easily, which would land you in the neighborhood of $80. Again, it isn't cheap, but it has something not even a fancy Roanyer tummy has:

WEIGHT and BULK

It's also made of inconspicuous or otherwise easily hidden items, so if you have roommates or family who could see this stuff, it's great at being tucked away or hiding in plain sight. If you're curious, I have pictures, a shopping list, and step by step instructions, as well as some further tips and info. It's pretty long so I'm putting it under a cut...

Let's get started!

What you'll need:

One piece of fully body shapewear (the mauve one on top) and one piece of "tummy tuck" shapewear (black on the bottom). The full body one is about 2 sizes too big for what it's meant to do normally (so for me, an XXXL. This is the same shapewear I use for my squishmallow tummy for RP blog pictures), and the tummy tuck one is the "correct" size for my body (XL). The tummy tuck one gives you all the support, so you don't want it too oversized. DON'T GO UNDERSIZED EITHER as what we're going to load this up with is gonna cause some compression, and too much pressure on your abdomen can be harmful. When in doubt, go at your size or maybe one size bigger, but no farther. Both of these run $20-30 a piece at a target but also can be found on sale for $10-20. Target is going to charge you more than Walmart, and it doesn't have to be top of the line.

One soft, round pillow. This is like a $6 pick up from Walmart. It's not just soft from it's fabric, but it's specifically not firm to the touch. It's all give and is very malleable. Technically you could use a regular pillow too, but this being roughly disk shaped helps it do its job as basically the "lower belly" that keeps the weight from shifting too low.

An averaged sized blanket. Softer materials that fold and bunch up easier are preferred. You PROBABLY already have something that will work for this, but if you don't, again, Walmart will charge you like $15-20 for one.

And finally...

A 20 lbs kettlebell. This BASTARD is the single most expensive thing you'll need, and unfortunately is required if you want it to be properly heavy. This one came from Target, and ran me $55. You might think you want to go heavier, but trust me, this thing has all the heft you'll need. If you really want to, you could feasibly go for a 25 lbs. one, but those are even more expensive. The kettlebell shape is important because it's mostly round, unlike a dumbbell, so we can wrap it up and use it for a reasonably pregnant-shaped belly. A dumbbell of this weight might be a little cheaper, but if you're already going to drop $40 on an oddly shaped weight, another $15 so it can fit the tummy shape is worth it.

Putting it on:

[DISCLAIMER: If at any point something HURTS while putting this thing on or while wearing it, safely but quickly remove it. The weight is supposed to be cumbersome and a little uncomfortable for the fantasy of it, but if anything HURTS, something is wrong, and you need to take it off. If you lay on your back with this thing on for too long, get ready for ab muscle aches, possibly the next day, as your tummy will be supporting 20 lbs of external weight just pressing on it, and those muscles don't get used unless you work out. I've never worn this thing overnight to sleep, but I don't advise it, as extended period of compression can be harmful. Same logic as to why AFAB people who don't want visible boobs shouldn't bind for too long.]

Start by putting on the fully body shapewear, and then putting the tummy tuck shapewear over that. The fabric under my shapewear here is my sports bra, which isn't part of the belly process.

Next you're going to load the soft, round pillow into the full body shapewear. It's going to kind of fold in on itself and that's not an issue, if anything it gives a nice little landing zone for the next thing we're going to add.

Don't fight trying to get the pillow under the tummy tuck shapewear, right now just roll it down to your waistline under the pillow bulk like so.

Next you'll take your blanket, lay it out, set the kettlebell inside of it, and wrap/bunch it up. You want it something approximating 'round', making sure the kettlebell isn't going to roll/fall out when you pick it up.

Next, you load the wrapped up bastard in, setting it on top of the pillow. The kettlebell is going to shift, and try to sink deeper, that's fine, just maneuver it so it sits on the pillow, allowing the pillow to spread the weight more evenly.

Before you pull up the tummy tuck shapewear, it's going to look like this, notice how the bottom of it is lighter because that's all pillow, with the blanket over top.

Now comes of trickiest/most strenuous part, you gotta pull out the tummy tuck shapewear and get it out and around the bulk of your "tummy". You'll have an easier time if you pull the back part up a little first, so it's not fighting you, which you can see in the above photos. If anything starts to hurt during this process, stop and take it out, because likely something is too tight or too heavy.

Once the tummy tuck shapewear is pulled all the way up, it should look about like this, and you're loaded up and ready to waddle!

Notice how much more contained it all is? It's not spilling off of me anymore, it's firmly held against me. Now, just top with your favorite maternity shirt!

Or don't!

Now, clearly, it doesn't LOOK very pregnant. It's lumpy and awkward and it'll come out downright lopsided your first few times. But this isn't for taking pictures for an RP blog, this is for simulating something close to the feeling of carrying something heavy like a pregnant belly around. For those of us who can't or don't want to actually get pregnant, this is a decent approximate that's reasonable to buy and easily hidden. This is for nights after everyone else is in bed or you're home alone, and it can be a LOT of fun.

Great, now what do I do with it?

This is the end of the instructions and is more just ideas for some fantasy fulfillment. Feel free to drop your own ideas in replies or reblogs!

So something that sets this belly apart from just a pillow, or bunched up clothes under your shirt, is that it's very firm, and independently held against you. A pillow under your shirt is dependent on the shirt for structure. If you lift the shirt, pillow falls off. That is not the case here, so suddenly, you've unlocked the ability to put on too small clothes, or button ups, or robes, whatever, that's too small for you now, and can fuss and mess with it without affecting the stability of the belly. You can wear pants that don't button or simply bunch up under that heavy, firm underbelly. Hell, you can simulate getting dressed with a 20 lbs mass hanging off of you. Put on socks around this thing, it's the stuff of preg kink dreams!

Getting up and down, laying in bed and rolling over, the shit that's easy to do now, takes a LOT more effort all of the sudden. Again, I urge you not to lay flat on your back too much, because I did that while padding before bed, and woke up with some muscle aches centered on my tummy, in muscles that I hadn't used in god knows how long. Don't over exert yourself with this thing. I'm bringing this up a lot because I don't want anyone getting hurt.

Taking the stairs is nuts. Going up is way more effort, and going down feels almost hazardous as you wont have vision of your feet anymore.

If you're into the domesticity of pregnancy, try doing some household chores with this thing on! Loading a dishwasher, doing some laundry, maybe some tidying. I personally have found it weirdly exhilarating, waddling around loading the washing machine around this heavy bulk. Have fun bending over to pick up something you dropped!

Even just chilling and gaming with a lap full of heavy belly feels kind of new and exciting. When you're not used to it, even the mundane shit gets hotter with a tummy like this

That's about all I got. If someone else gets everything and tries this out, let me know your experiences with it and how you've improved it! I've had an ask suggest a weighted medicine ball, so that could also work if you have one you're willing to test out. Please enjoy, and share with your pregnancy loving mutuals! Thanks for reading!!!

[surfinminho]

Day 21- Double penetration w/seungmin

⤷ warnings: anal, sub!seungmin, fisting mentioned, implied second round

⤷ word count: 468

⤷Taglist : @greysweaters-blog @hannie-bees @ashydoinwhat @chansbabygirlsstuff @hiddlestandom @stanskzsstuff @mal-lunar-28 @leeracha @linos-kitten @bonateukna @ihrtlix @conwunder @jazzyluuv

⤷ permanent taglist: @iadorethemskz @iluvseungie

*please dm me if you want to be added or removed from the taglist.*

You weren't opposed to trying anything in bed. Especially if seungmin suggested it. So when you guys are talking about stuff, you ask him about what he's into but you don't get a response.

"Come on just tell me!" You try to make him feel like hes welcomed to say anything on his mind (he is).

"Nuh uh" he plays it off, throwing his head back covering his eyes.

"Okay let me guess" you take out your phone and search up a random list of kinks and bedroom activities.

"Let's see, knife play, bondage, double penetration" you look up after every word to see his reaction. His ears turn red at the last two words, eyes widening.

"You want to be fucked with 2 dildos? Is that it" you smile to yourself, keeping a mental note of this conversation.

"Ah- yes no maybe? I don't know" his voice starts to quiet down at the end sentence.

"It's okay, just tell me and I'll do whatever you ask me to" you move yourself to wear you're fully facing seungmin, encouraging him to talk.

"I want to be fucked with 2 dildos." His face flushes red, knowing if he didn't tell you what he wanted you wouldn't have done it.

"Good job"

And that's how you guys ended up in this position, with alot of lube used

"wanna take two? You already have one cock in you." You lean over, drizzling lube on your hand and his rim.

"Want more, another one please" he says, back arching to adjust to the feeling of your strap in him.

You push your fingers into his rim, stretching him out more than he already is.

"Think you can take it?" You rub up and down his back, drawing random shapes.

"Y-yes" you grab the smaller dildo you took out, dripping lube onto the tip.

You press the tip against his hole, not moving.

"i-in please." He pushes his out at for you trying to get you to put in the dildo already.

He trys to complain again but you push the tip in, holding his hips still.

"Stay still, I'm not trying to hurt you now" you continue to inch it into him stopping when you reach the middle.

"t-too much, so full" his cock is pulsing against his stomach, precum smearing everywhere.

"Want all of it baby? Could probably fit my whole fist in you. You'd like that? Mommy fisting you?" You gently push the rest of the dildo in, moving to always hit his prostate.

"Mommy! I-I can't so-" letting out a moan, pearly white liquid dripping down his stomach to his thighs. Some landing on the bed.

You try to pull out but he stops you

"N-no! make me cum again. Wanna cum again please"

[woodchipp]

Yeah no I'll have to cut Basil out entirely lol. Dude has no reason to be in a version of the plot where Mari commits suicide and my attempts to organically integrate him into it without deviating from the game's original framework too much didn't work out. Which is a shame. He's got a cool design and he's interesting! The problem is that he's good only as a plot device in Headspace, and I don't want to relegate him to that :(

To make up for that, I think it'd probably make more sense for Sunny to be the photographer and for Mari to be the flower enthusiast. The former's hobby could be justified by him having memory issues, and thus the idea of creating a photo album could be born out of the fear that he'll forget his friends at some point in the future. Additionally, I think this could benefit Sunny's characterization - the photo album's captions could be used to characterize Sunny instead, and the detail of Basil being outside the frame since he's the one taking the photos would make more sense for Sunny because the game (off-handedly) mentions he's "a bit camera-shy". I imagine that he wouldn't want to be featured on his photos both because he doesn't consider himself important enough and because he wouldn't want to be reminded of his appearance :) Maybe that would also recontextualize his eternal resting bitch face in the few photos he is on as him being geniunely uncomfortable as opposed to just "not liking to smile"

I guess the photo album itself could be more of a group project the whole group is involved in, since y'know, they're friends and all that. Of course, most of the captions would be written by Sunny himself, but there could be a few captions here and there from Kel, Hero, or - better yet - Mari. Girl needs some semblance of a personality lmao

Speaking of Mari, her hobby could stem from the flower arrangement classes she and her mother were apparently taking. Maybe she'd take it up along with softball to keep herself busy or something. I just think that a scene of Mari telling Sunny about the symbolism of the flowers she recently grew could be pretty cute lol. I'm not made of stone :P

...huh, now that I'm thinking about it, Aubrey taking the photo album away could be the catalyst for Sunny becoming a hikikomori. He still continues to attend school after Mari kills herself as a way to get out of the house he simply can't bear to stay in anymore and despite his deteriorating mental state. Then one day, Aubrey begs him to let her study at his house, he reluctantly agrees, she finds the ruined photo album and angrily confronts him over it instead of stealing it on the spot (in this case, her argument that the album is important to all of the friend group would hold a bit more water since it was, after all, a group project). Being reminded about the photo album proves to be the last straw for Sunny, however, and so his anger issues come into play without causing him to kill someone in a fit of rage as he blows up at her for going through his things behind his back to look at the album without his permission. And that's when Aubrey decides she had enough and escapes with the album in tow. I imagine her crush essentially telling her to fuck off on top of seeing the ruined photos would hurt her twice as hard, and it'd give her a considerably more solid reason to hate Sunny's guts four years later.

Sunny, horrified by his behavior (and totally not reminded of the big argument Mari killed herself after, ofc :)) decides to shut himself off from the outside world for good. Can't hurt anyone ever again if you remove yourself out of their lives altogether and all that. Oh, and by the way, isn't it funny how there's another character who directed a furious outburst at someone they cared about?

[captainjacklyn]

Hey, yo, you probably saw me on one of your posts. I was wondering if you could do the arcana twilight characters reacting to reader training Precious to destroy sisuris's balls l, I'm so sorry for this post, but I had to. You could skip if you want to. Also, sorry for misspelling sisuris name.

HAHAHAHAGHDJWEH- no worries my friend, there is absolutely no harm done on your part, I'm glad you enjoy that crack shit post and I hope you enjoy reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.

character(s) : spica, alpheratz, arcturus, pollux, vega

warning(s) : someone's balls being obliterated, a feral ferret and a vengeful summoner that just wants to see blood.

Spica

Speechless and just straight up lost, man is just looking at us for a good minute before continuing to walk down the aisle like nothing happened.

for reference his face looked like this :

He says nothing, he's just confused and tells himself that he needs coffee thinking he's hallucinating due to all the work he has to do.

don't even bother explaining, Spica will pass out and Precious is going to take that opportunity to destroy.

"Wrong target Precious I'm not letting you hurt rapunzel."

"AHDJEREJHR !"

Alpheratz

Hype man right here, he's literally helping you coach that killing machine to end Sirius.

Precious actually stops trying to rip his wig off and is now accepting him as a friend, sort of.

I love this trio ! A batshit crazy animal, their batshit insane owner and the owner's boyfriend who hates the same person they hate.

Once precious is released into the city to found that sexy gun man, it's over for him.

It crawls it's way through the streets, hissing at anything in it's way until it finds the legs of the enemy..and CRUNCH GOES THE BALLS OF THE ASSHOLE-

*screams in agony*

Arcturus

[Name] I don't think you have to- "HAJSKFBEFUEKR-"

Precious held on to his leg for a week, it didn't wanna let go for even a minute. Had to constantly keep this ginger man in a hospital because the moment he got out he would bleed extensively.

Once it got off of him, you just continued to train your unhinged creature.

Precious is really going balls out for the game I'll tell ya that, we're not just speaking about the nutcracker here we're talking about the sacrifice of future generations as well.

This poor dude is just standing on the sidelines like : you don't have to do this but I still support you because that's really all I can do...

Pollux

Oh he means business.

We got another coach right here- bro is going to ANNIHILATE sirius and whatever is left.

Although he keeps wincing whenever it actually happens, I mean they're both guys he knows just how painful it can get.

It's really terrifying to be honest just witnessing something that violent.

I mean who would expect this :

to act like THIS :

That's pollux trying to hold it, Precious is completely calm and rational with it's beloved owner.

Vega

._.

wut ?

like Spica, he will stand there, but not like Spica, he will remain standing there for a very long time.

Even Precious stops bitting the plastic toy that now looks like it's been shredded, even you stop encouraging your cute psychopath of a beast.

why are you giving it more attention ? HIIIIIISSSSSSSS-

He doesn't give a shit, we all know just how much of a simp he gets when it comes to you.

I love how I skipped the part where Precious tried to lunge at him and remove his eyeballs from his eye sockets.

You luckily managed to avoid that, but now you got an animal and a touch-starved white boy clinging onto you for dear life.

Vega I need to proceed with my ferret's training so could you please ? no. ...You're lucky you're just as adorable as my electric saw. BFUKETGEHTK$#$ PRECIOUS STOP SWEARING-

Have a good day I hope you liked it.

[helluva-simper]

Allo, got a husk angst request for ya. Can you do Husk x Reader comfort while reader is on their period?

I am so so so so sorry that this too so long to make. I swear to God writer's block is going to be the end of me. Most likely going to make a remake of this due to the fact this was just one of my late night urges so yeah. Hope you enjoy what I got. 😉

------------

      You were sleeping peacefully in the arms of your boyfriend. His arms embracing you as his soft and comforting fur soothed you through the night. 

       You were rudely awakened by the sudden pain from your stomach. It was an annoying, constant pain making you squirm. You heard a groan making you look up. “Sorry…” You said, your expression was guilty but it also was painful. Did you eat something bad? 

       “Huh? Wha- oh… you're fine. We were gonna get up at some point anyway.” Husk says blinking slowly waking up. Ugh, it felt like something was trying to slowly kill you from the inside out. You allow your head to fall into his shoulder, nuzzling into it as you let out a whine. 

       Husk smiles softly, chuckling, raising a hand to ruffle your hair a bit. “I said it was fine.” I shake your head still buried into his shoulder. You speak into his fur, it comes out as a muffled speech. “You're gonna have to lift your head if you want me to know whatever the fuck you just said.” He said bluntly.

        You lift your head up with a frown. “My stomach hurts.” You whine throwing your head back down. Unfortunately before you could Husk sat up making you instantly sit up as well. “If it hurts that bad I could go make you something.” Husk said a hint of confusion and worry in his tone. 

         Any pain you felt when you were alive you solved with some Tylenol. Headache? Tylenol. Back pains? Tylenol. The list went on and on. But the only thing that was here in Hell was drugs. Literal vending machines full of them!

       You shake your head. “It just hurts. I don't remember eating anything bad. I think Alastor has more style than poisoning someone.” You say chuckling at the end. “Well, maybe you're hungry?” Husk suggests. You don't think that's the problem but you just nod anyway. You move the covers off of you and move back and that's when you noticed it. A huge red stain on you and Husk's clothes. 

         Your eyes widen in surprise. How was I bleeding?! Did you get hurt?! Was I… wait… shit. You groan dramatically falling backwards. “What h- holy shit. Why the hell you bleeding?!” Husk asks getting up ready to go play doctor  get the medical supplies. “No, no. Sit your ass back down. It's just- UGH!” You look up at the sky thinking, “Why does the universe hate me?” You thought that when you went to Hell these stupid monthly occurrences would go but the universe loves to just prove you wrong, doesn't it? “It's just a girl thing. Just bleeding out of vagina. Just get me an ice pack.” You say dryly. This really bummed your mood. You just wanted to snuggle into your lovely boyfriend's arms all day noooooo. You just HAD to have your period today. And on him too. Oi!

        Husk was sitting there looking dumbfounded. Probably thinking, “how the absolute hell was bleeding out of your crotch a 'normal’ thing?!” It looked like he was forcing himself to keep his mouth close.He blinked a few times, getting back to reality. “We should probably change first. Then when I'm changed I'll get it for you. Anything else?” You shake your head. You get up from the bed noticing the red stain on the bed. Great. Another thing to change. You flip off the bed gaining a soft laugh from Husk. “How about we worry about the bed later. I'll clean it up. Okay? Okay.” He said leaving no room for arguing. You nod moving a bit to allow Husk off the bed. 

        You remove your pajama shorts and underwear feeling Husk's piercing gaze. You give a smug look letting him know you know he was looking. You walk over to the bathroom, grabbing some toilet paper to clean yourself. 

         “So, you just put on that whole show just to tease me?” Husk asks, throwing you another pair of clothes. You caught them putting them on. “Who, me? I would never do such a thing.” You say innocently when you were finally in clean clothing. Husk grabbed you and gave you a noogie saying, “Come're ya lil shit.”

        Laughing, you pushed him away fixing your hair. “Bitch.” You spat with a smile. You jokingly bump into him on your way out the bathroom.  

-    -    -   -   -   -

         You were sitting in the lobby with Husk holding a ice pack to your stomach, his head resting on your shoulder as you scrolled through the internet. Surprisingly you were early enough to see Alastor leaving as you two made it into the room, but left before allowing you to say goodbye. 

         “Thanks.” You say softly before Husk lays a soft kiss on your neck. “No problem. There's nothing I wouldn't do for you.” He said, the last part being in a singy song voice.

--------

Husk is not a character I write often so I hope this was to your liking. Night!

[spotsupstuff]

hi

you've mentioned that sparrows would have reincarnated as a slugcat?

would you mind elaborating on that?

also would they have met caper again after becoming all scuggy?

heehee

hoohoo hee :)c of course i'll elaborate! it is Her ✨ Fish's little best animal friend

wonderfully enough, Sparrows and the Tinkerer were developed completely removed from each other in my head, so Tinkerer still feels like a rather separate character from Sparrows even though they somehow wound up havin a lot of similiarities. exactly how the reincarnation stuff should feel like

the Tinkerer is Sparrows! and no character in-universe will ever find out. it isn't important. nobody but Tinkerer is affected by this, and Tinktink doesn't really have the means to speak about it. but for us behind the screens that know about this it will make Tinktink's interactions with the world just a lil bit more juicy

you've sent this at a good time, too! the day ur question came in i was actually pondering how to somehow make use of this reincarnation fact and not just let it float about as a lil bonus for the people that would know about this lil tiny ultimately unimportant connection

so, the idea: as we (probably) all know, Euros is going to end up developing the Rot. this is distressing for a large amount of reasons, but the main point rn is that Euros is also a secret archive of folklore of the lower circles in the Eo group, plus maybe even a little bit over the range's borders to the east (after all, there's two more groups right next door to him n he's a phone operator chief). Euros is going to die a slow painful death and he won't be able to care for or save his collection of knowledge, which somehow manages to hurt him more than the reality of his impending doom

maybe not so surprising, considering that in his archive are the stories, the history, the spirit of his late lover's home- a place he clung to for as long as he could, the one he spent the most time in with his overseers, the one that held people he constantly wished could be his citizens instead of the vile and fake *things* soiling the streets of Ales

so one day after the Fish has properly reconnected to the Eo group, is caught up on current events and trying his *damnest* to revive Mission Self-preservation even though it is guaranteed to be useless, Euros mentions the nightmare that he's living through

"I'm a dead man walking, carrying precious treasures of people that were never heard crying out. I've held them close and safely within myself for over two thousand years. And now, when I'm fated to rot through and splatter on the ground, I fear all this time will be for nought. That I will kill what I've been protecting for so long."

"Even if nobody ever reads these- learns of them, hears them out from above their graves- I can't bear the thought of losing them."

and well Fish DOES have a lot of beef with Euros, but at this point this bitterness is starting to give away to desperation and horror of the terrible torment waiting for them in the future. he might be stubbornly still trying with the Mission, but he would go against what makes him himself if he didn't acknowledge that they are all damned for good no matter what he tries. so he gives in to the pity and hails Tinkerer to his chamber

he explains to her what he needs her to do and tells Euros about the plan. Tinktink has to travel all of this distance

to get to Euros (basically walk through the whole Europe), but dammit, she helped one Iterator that became her closest friend, she will help another one (a different Gen 2 that she loved and dedicated her whole life to in a different life)

Fish sends her on her way with a hug and a plead to keep herself safe

it takes her over a month to get there even with the help of vehicles like the barely working trains and a remshackle sky-sail that Fish guided her through fixing in their free time together. when she gets on top of Euros' structure, the dejavus start to hit. she visits the Mechanics' home, her feet carrying her to the bedroom as if it was just another end of the workshift. she looks in the cupboards she- opened millions of times- never even touched. she walks outside and then down the path to the entrance into the Iterator she's- taken countless times- never set a foot on

she saw these halls so many times she can pin point where every screw is- she's never been here, she can't understand these giant beings, they are too complex for her animal brain. that specific rhythm of beeps and pumps and water rushing through metal veins has haunted- comforted- her in many of her dreams. the Tinkerer makes it to the chamber almost like on an auto-pilot

when she enters the chamber, the slugcat finds itself disappointed, scared, confused- this isn't what this place is supposed to look like (but how does she know what it is supposed to look like-?), this isn't how she left it (this is the first time she stands here, what are these thoughts). it's supposed to be brighter. warmer. why is the puppet's plating and skin damaged by time, where is it its vibrancy, why are its eyes so tired? there are panels missing from the walls ("it's got to be the results of that Fever i once made a proj- i can fix thi-! what?"), glowing artificial bronze robins fly about or sleeping on his shoulders, tiny Rot cysts pulsate from the cracks in the umbilical arm. where has the firebird in that halo gone off to?

Euros greets her joyfully ("oh what are you trying to play at, you goof. i've known you for so long, i can tell when something's wrong. what's hurting? why are you tired? i'll get you back into shape, doncha worry love.")

"Ah, you made it! Welcome to my chamber, adroit little thing."

"Please. Your journey was a long one. I hold no doubt a very dangerous one, too. I won't march you into the job immediately. Rest up."

Tinkerer thinks he's strange. but her legs are indeed hurting, the bag strapped to her is heavy. she curls up in the corner of the room and tries to get some shut eye. she almost falls asleep when Euros starts mumbling under his breath, shooting nervous glances towards the birds. five fingered hands tremble so badly the joints rattle like a child's toy. he's scary, when his shoulders hunch up like that and those tired eyes turn frantic. but it hurts so much to see him like that for some reason, more so than it is scary. so against the better judgement of a survivor, she softly coos at him

the puppet's head snaps to her, gaze cold. the mumbles increase in volume, allowing her to understand

"...I'll tell you what. I have another mission for you, little messenger. But it has to stay a secret between the two of us. Nobody would approve, especially not the one you belong to now."

something whispers that the puppet closing in is supposed to be a comfort. the larger part of the Tinkerer instead finds itself wishing to run away

"Are you aware of the Memory Crypts that lie beneath all of us City Bearers?"

cautious nod, back pressed against the wall

"Good."

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for "ghosting*" my friend?

I (27f) have known this one online friend of mine (27m) for over 15 years, give or take. When we met we quickly became fast friends and we only grew closer from there. About 11 years ago I lost contact with them due to something happening to the site we met and talked on. We had no other means of communication and finding an alternative site wasn't something either of us thought about. I always thought about him and hoped he was doing okay.

Fast forward to about 4 years ago when I got a message from someone saying it was him. We started talking again and it was like we never lost contact. In fact, we were even closer than before. He started referring to me as his family/sister.

We talked about how, out of all the friends we made on that site, we were the only two still in contact. It was something we bonded over. We talked about how both of our life situations make it difficult to find and keep friends and how we were both grateful to have each other in our lives again. It was something we bonded over. I came out as aroace and talked about how I feared people around me leaving me behind once they got into a relationship because I wasn't as important to them anymore. He was one of the first people I came out to and was accepted by. Even though he wasn't aroace and was in a relationship, he said he somewhat understood what it was like to be abandoned in a situation like that. It was something we bonded over.

We never met in person but we had plans to. We always talked about it. We were close. We were each other's best friends, so I thought.

Imagine my surprise when I got a message from him out of the blue a few months ago saying that he was sorry but that he was going to have to start dedicating more time to his partner/SO because his abusive and toxic partner/SO** (his own words and description of partner/SO - not mine) was becoming increasingly more abusive/toxic*** and that he wouldn't be able to respond much anymore and to not feel bad because he was having to do this to other people too, not just me.

I'm not in a relationship, I'll never be in a relationship, therefore I don't know what it's like to be in one. I'll never know what that kind of romantic bond is like. Maybe it's normal to choose a partner/SO over a friend?

But I do know that it hurt reading that message. Still hurts. At the time I couldn't really think clearly so I cried for a bit then left then one last message on Discord about how I was sorry things turned out this way and that I wished things would have been different. How I wished both of our home situations were different - better - but that I couldn't do it anymore. I wished him the best and then removed him off my friend list and left the conversation before he could respond. I don't know if he ever saw it or not. He did try to add me back a few days after that but I declined it and haven't seen him send me another one or contact me on another site since.

I eventually got over it and only now started thinking about it again because I happened to go on another site that I haven't been on in years and saw a message from before we got in contact again about how much he missed me.

A part of me wants to try and reach out again because I feel bad for never giving them a chance to respond to my last message but the other part knows I'll probably just end up getting hurt again.

(*I'm not sure if I'm using this term properly?)

(**I feel like it's not my place to disclose this but I also feel as if it wasn't for that we'd still be friends? Or maybe I'm just delusional.)

(***I wasn't friends with partner/SO and I doubt partner/SO even knows I existed since I was only ever an online friend so I don't think having friends was the cause of partner/SO getting worse. I can only speculate though because I didn't know the full situation. I tried to tell friend to leave multiple times if it truly was as bad as he claimed but he said he was fine. There was nothing I could do to help beyond that unfortunately.)

What are these acronyms?

[misslisamiray]

Here's Chapter 12 of Down With the Rickness - we're only a few chapters away from the ending now and I am NOT ready. I just love sharing this fic with all of you so much, and I'll be sad when it's over.

Anyway, this is (mostly) another chapter of just Rick and Morty, but there's one brief appearance by Jerry. New chapter below the cut!

“Mom’s gonna be late.” Morty informed Rick, who nodded, rubbing his throat again.

“Ugh. Morty, remind me to stop including tonsils in any and all future clones. They just sit there doing nothing 99% of the time, then get all inflamed and painful the few times a decade I get sick. Talk about a design flaw. It’s *Cough!* *Cough!* like the little pick-me ass bitches are mad at me for typically forgetting they exist. Ow. Also, remind me to remove these the second I feel up to it.” he complained.

“Uh-huh. I promise I will.” Morty agreed, trying to decide if it was a good or bad sign that Rick was talking about removing his own tonsils when he felt better, as opposed to right this second.

“You planning to stay up for a while?” he asked, getting another nod as an answer.

“Okay, well, it’s lunchtime. Did you want to try eating a sandwich or something?” Rick gave him a look that was meant to be angry, but came across more pitiful.

“Fine, I’ll just bring you more ice cream.” Morty gave in.

“Thanks. Oh, and Morty? I’m kinda *Cough!* empty here. Think you can help me out, buddy?” Rick asked, shaking his empty flask.

“No way. You’ve had plenty already. I’m not gonna get into a whole thing with you about how much you drink normally, but you’re way too sick for it today.” Morty refused.

“Pick a lane, Morty. I can’t be *Cough!* ‘too sick to drink’ and ‘not sick enough to cure using one of my supposedly crazy experiments’ at the same time.” Rick pouted, putting the trash can and tissue box aside to put his labcoat back on and retrieve the blankets from the floor again.

“Yes, you can. Both of those things can be true, Rick. And they are. You’re not guilting me into refilling your damn flask. I’m bringing you more juice.” Morty told him, starting to leave the room.

“But *Achoo!* my throat hurts. And my head hurts. And I’m cold again. It’ll help with at least one of those things.” Rick whined, throwing his head back dramatically and putting his feet up on the coffee table. He snuck a glance at Morty to see if this was working at all.

“No. It’s probably why your head hurts in the first place. Or at least one of the reasons. As for the rest, I don’t see how it’s supposed to help…” Morty made the mistake of looking over at Rick, seeing again how disheveled and miserable he looked. And asking for more booze, while not a good idea, was tame compared to every other idea Rick had come up with today…

“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you. I still refuse to bring you any of the stronger shit you keep in the garage. But I’m pretty sure there’s sofa wine left, and if you drink it, I won’t tell Summer it was you. I should since she’s mad at you anyway, but I won’t. Deal?” Morty compromised.

“Fair enough.” Rick agreed. With an annoyed sigh, Morty went to the kitchen to get lunch for the two of them. 

Rick felt around under a cushion until he found the half empty bottle of wine. The overly colorful, badly designed label had silhouettes of about a dozen dancing figures, all in obnoxiously bright colors, in front of a disco ball. It looked as much like something teenagers would sneak as this particular bottle was. He unscrewed the cap and took a tentative sip.

“Eww. How long have we all been sitting on this shit? I doubt it was great to begin with, but it’s definitely seen better days.” Rick complained to himself. He looked the ugly label over again and saw the alcohol content: 7%.

“Ugh. It’s terrible and weak as hell? One or the other I can deal with, but this is just awful. *Cough!* Dammit, Summer. I would’ve expected better from you.” Rick took another sip and shuddered. He recapped the bottle and started to put it back, then reconsidered. This stuff was giving the cold medicine a run for its money in terms of what tasted worse… but the warm liquid sliding down his throat did feel sort of nice. Soothing, even. It didn’t burn like the liquor he would have preferred to be drinking would. And sure, the alcohol content was a joke, but it’s not like he was starting from sober…

“Fuck it. Beggars can’t be choosers and all.” Rick muttered, deciding to drink more of the sofa wine.

Meanwhile, Jerry was sulking in his mancave. He turned the Sailor Moon tape over in his hand repeatedly and sighed. Finally deciding to put it down, he checked his phone to see if either of the Beths had replied to any of his texts. Neither one had. Jerry frowned and sat there for a few minutes, looking even more dejected and forlorn. Then he thought of some more messages to send, and immediately proceeded to do that. 

Another thing Morty became aware of throughout the day was that, besides not sleeping well when ill, Rick also rarely seemed able to get comfortable for more than a few minutes at a time. The tossing and turning was just as bad, if not worse, when the man was awake than when he was sleeping. When he was lying with his head at the opposite end of the couch, Morty kept getting kicked, usually in the back of the head. If Rick was lying with his head at the end of the couch where Morty was sitting, that meant more getting coughed and sneezed on, and sometimes being hit by a bony elbow or shoulder.

When he wasn’t sprawled across the couch (and Morty), Rick would try to sleep sitting at the opposite end of it, usually with at least two pillows under his head. Apparently, this helped with the postnasal drip, but sleeping like that hurt his back. Morty had to stop himself from pointing out that Rick fell asleep sitting on the couch all the time and didn’t usually complain about that afterwards.

Then of course, there was the temperature issue. Rick alternated between freezing and not being able to get enough blankets, his thin frame shaking despite all the layers… and the exact opposite, tossing all the blankets aside as quickly as he could, complaining that the thermostat must be broken. He kept going from one extreme to the other, with very little middle ground.

During the few moments of calm when Rick slept, or at least had settled down temporarily, Morty kept looking at things on his phone and scribbling down notes from what he read. As the day went on, what he was looking at progressed from benign things like the debate on whether or not vitamin C did anything for a cold and memes about watching game shows while home sick, to distinguishing colds from more serious illnesses. And from there to complications of those more serious illnesses, and how they could be worse and more likely in someone older…

While Rick seemed to be sleeping soundly enough, Morty decided to risk sneaking upstairs to grab his laptop. His phone was nearly dead, and besides, he was tired of staring at that small screen (and Rick sometimes kicking the phone out of his hand). He came back downstairs about 10 minutes later to discover Rick awake and glaring at him. The tissue shoved up his right nostril undercut how furious he looked, but only slightly.

“Morty…”

“What? I wasn’t gone long, and you’re the one who wants me to leave you alone all together. If you’re mad again because I won’t bring you more booze, too bad.” Morty said, trying to figure out what the newest problem was.

“Where’s my portal gun, Morty?” Shit. Morty gulped, but quickly tried to act nonchalant and lie his way out of this.

“You mean you don’t have it? Aw geez, Rick. I don’t, don’t know anything about that. You probably dropped it in the garage earlier and didn’t notice. You have been pretty out of it today.” Rick considered this. He hated to admit it, but that was possible. After all, he still hadn’t figured out why there’d been a shoe in his pocket earlier. But Morty was clearly more anxious than usual, and it was a dead giveaway he was hiding something.

“Uh-huh. Can’t argue with *COUGH!* that. So how about you help me find it?”

“Maybe later. You need to get some more rest, and what’s it matter where your portal gun is when you’re in no condition to use it?”

“I’m not going to use it. Just getting up from this couch to go look for the thing sounds like a huge pain in the ass – forget about going to another dimension. But it’s mine and I want it. Besides, *Cough!* *Cough!* if I’m not going to use it, what does it matter if I have it?” 

Morty couldn’t think of a reply, and for the second time that day, Rick found himself locked in a staring contest with one of his grandchildren. Also for the second time that day, he lost when he sneezed.

“Ugh. Dammit, I hate this. At least it’s almost over. I mean, it has to be – I’ve been sick for days.” he complained weakly after blowing his nose.

“I hate to break this to you, Rick, but it’s only been a day. More like half of one, actually.” Morty informed him, feeling another wave of sympathy and worry. He plugged his laptop in, plugged his phone into it, and sat down next to Rick again.

“That’s not funny, Morty.” Rick told him pitifully.

“I know it’s not. But I also wasn’t joking. Sorry, Rick.” Morty apologized. Rick grabbed the nearest pillow and screamed into it.

“Stop that. You’ll just make your throat hurt worse, and for what? Throwing a tantrum isn’t going to help anything.” Morty told him, patting his arm.

“You don’t know that it *SNIFF!* won’t.” Rick argued, still talking into the pillow. Realizing how pathetic that sounded, he tossed it aside and slumped against Morty, resting his head on his shoulder.

 “But… probably not. *YAWN!*” he admitted.

“Aww, come on, Rick. Don’t fall asleep on me. I’m covered in your germs as it is. Move.” Morty protested, trying to nudge Rick off him.

“You gonna tell me where my portal gun is?” Rick asked, struggling to stay awake.

“Nope. You say you aren’t going to use it, but I have zero reason to believe you.”

“Fine. Then I’m not moving.”

“If you fall on the floor, I’m leaving you there.” 

Still trying unsuccessfully to make Rick move, Morty was surprised there was no sarcastic response or further argument. He turned his head slightly and saw it was because Rick had fallen asleep. With a sigh, Morty tried one last time to nudge Rick off his shoulder. When it didn’t work, he resigned himself to being used as a pillow for a while. He turned on the laptop and went back to his questionable research. Another episode of the fishing show came on. This time, the man who looked like Gene with a beard was listing facts about salmon.

While Rick had slept half an hour at most any other time during the day, of course, now it seemed like he was going to be out for much longer.

“How is this the one position you’ve managed to get comfortable in all day?” Morty asked, feeling some drool drip onto his shoulder. Besides being awkwardly slumped against Morty, Rick had one leg draped over the back of the couch, and the other dangling off the front of it. It was surprising he hadn’t fallen yet. Having given up on getting Rick to move, Morty decided to see if he could slip free without disturbing him. He put his laptop aside and tried to stand up… only to realize that Rick had grabbed onto his arm at some point without him noticing.

“C’mon, really?” Morty whispered, carefully trying to free his arm. Rick groaned and coughed a few times.

“Shit! Sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.” Morty apologized.

Either ignoring or not hearing him, Rick sat up a little straighter and took a half asleep look around the room. He pulled his blanket pile up to his chest, then immediately rested his head on Morty’s shoulder again. He also tightened his hold on the boy’s arm.“Fine, I give up. At least you’re not trying to ‘fix’ this with something that could kill us, and you’re finally getting some sleep. You win. *YAWN!*” Morty gave in, accepting that he wasn’t getting up any time soon. He suddenly realized how tired he was, too. The sounds of the rain, the boring TV show, and of course, Rick’s snoring, weren’t helping. Morty looked back and forth between what he’d been reading on his computer, and Rick sleeping up against him. He debated whether it was alright for him to take a nap, too. After a few minutes of just watching Rick, who appeared to be sleeping soundly, Morty closed his eyes. Within a minute, he was also fast asleep.

[eric-the-bmo]

Hello I saw your tag PLEASE tell me about Annabelle Von Gears she seems right up my alley

OUGIYGH OH BOY LET ME RAMBLE ABOUT MY OC, THIS IS PROBABLY GOING TO BE STRUCTURED HORRIBLY LMAO—

So! Annabelle von Gears is my character for an upcoming homebrew campaign my friend's been wanting to run for about a year; She's put so much work into it, it's fascinating! (So sorry if u weren't expecting ttrpg stuff, but the floodgates have opened, and as a man with a special interest in ttrpgs I'm not going to shut up now—)

In very simple terms, Annabelle is a porcelain warforged/robotic wizard (bladesinger, specifically) who grew tired of her life and runs off to go adventuring. I adore her and this WILL be an infodump under the readmore!!!

[Art by @teefs_art on twitter!]

Augh okay I have no idea if I'll be able to get everything down, especially her thoughts on her family and herself, but here we go-

In terms of personality, I've been keeping it a bit vague; I'd like to have some room to build upon it when we finally play, and I've found it's easier to go off a general vibe.

So: Annabelle, at the start, is really just trying to do her job as a secretary and is very bored over the whole thing. While disruptions in the day can annoy her, she secretly delights in a few of them, because hey- that's another break in monotony, baby! After discovering free will later on, she's a lot more impulsive and upbeat, but still attempts to maintain her air of formality and fanciness. She most likely has a very strong sense of what's considered "fair." Due to Annabelle's upbringing, she'll probably be a bit rude and insensitive to others and their plights at times- and despite her sarcasm, she seems unable to detect it in others?

I definitely need to think more about how to include some knightly traits for her, and yknow, the whole thing of self vs duty, but... eh, yknow. Just vibes so far ☆

Anyway, the fact she's not literally built for a life of adventuring does nothing to dissuade her, btw; she'd rather do this than go back to a boring job.

Fun(?) facts:

Annabelle was based off the idea of "hey, what if a porcelain robot got hurt a lot and had to be fixed up with gold? Wouldn't that be cool or what"

Annabelle has programmed codes! Some of them include not being able to enter certain parts of the Von Gears manor, and being physically unable to harm her father figure (She can certainly try, but it's extremely difficult to break through those instructions)

She can sleep standing up, and yes, this probably will unnerve her party members very much ☆ (She can also stand completely still! More than once she's startled a foreign diplomat by blending in with the various statues and automatons in the manor, and so she's not allowed to go into those rooms anymore lmao)

Annabelle would really like collecting vinyls <3

She has the emblem of her home kingdom painted on her shoulder blades/upper back (it's an eagle with its wings outstretched!)

She can remove her face plate, and getting fixed by an artificer or mechanic is a bit uncomfortable :-/ It's like going to the dentist.

Annabelle is supposed to have a German accent- but I'm unable to do one. 😔

Her favorite term of endearment is to call someone "butterfly"; but so far she exclusively refers to only her sister with it.

She's unable to cry; she's not built with tear ducts! :-(

She's probably got a list full of silly little things to do while adventuring- like sneak into a building, or take part in a bar fight.

Taking heat damage is flavored as such: Her porcelain coverings are actually pretty heat-resistant! However, her insides aren't. It almost acts like an oven... (good luck venturing the kingdom of Helosh, love! ouch)

I'm absolutely going to find out how she can stim with her magic. No one can stop me /lh

And now for her general story: (note: I'm only putting in the most basic information for this. There's so much worldbuilding, but I sadly don't have time to ramble about all that. Again, sorry if this is incoherent, augh)

On the continent of Mysterra, most warforged reside in the country of Tectonica, which is ruled by Warrick von Gears (I forget his exact official title), a warforged who's been around for a very long time- definitely more than 100 years.

Following Mysterra's calendar, in 1835 Warrick decided he wanted a family with his wife Eleanor (also a warforged), and on the 19th of the Month of Talis, he commissioned the construction of Aria as his daughter– Annabelle was then added as a sudden addition. It took a year to complete the both of them, at which point artificial souls were placed inside their chests, and they were taken home to Tectonica's capital of Skysummit.

Despite being awoken at the same time, Annabelle is considered the more mature out of the two- mentally being in her 20s, with Aria being around 12- and primarily functions as Warrick's secretary. She arranged meetings, schedules, etc, and traveled along with him to diplomatic meetings to the capitals of other countries- along the way she picked up how to speak Gnomish and Draconic, as Windberg and Balaur do frequent dealings with Tectonica.

But eventually, she got bored with... well, just about all of it. It all began to seem monotonous, with only traveling for meetings, chess games with Warrick, and the shenanigans of Aria to break it all up. (She cares very much for her sister; it's almost the energy of "If this one favorite coworker wasn't here I would've quit a Long Time Ago" /hj). She wasn't really allowed to leave the estate without permission- and the thought to do so anyway had never occurred to her- so she had to find a few ways to avoid completely losing it.

Despite the fact she was built with a variety of coded spells to ensure self-defense, Annabelle began to study the variety of spellbooks and fiction in the Von Gear estate to stave off her boredom and restlessness- as well as daydreaming, becoming a lover of gossip, practicing swordfighting with some decorative blades hanging up on the wall, etc; all while wondering if something was wrong with her. Because she was built for this job, so surely she shouldn't be dissatisfied, right? [And what's with that strange tugging in her chest sometimes..?] But nothing ever seemed wrong when the mechanics showed up for yearly checks, so she didn't really ever bring it up in conversation to Warrick.

[While she loves the other Von Gears, her discontent with her current life makes her feels separate from them. Combined with her job as a secretary, she tries to be formal towards them and keep a distance– but she makes a few exceptions. She has fun with Aria, and despite her insistence she's really not part of the family, she does participate in family game night, and has accidentally called Warrick "dad" more than once. Anyway...]

And so, in the year of 1842, Annabelle von Gears is still the secretary of Tectonica's ruler— that is, until a famed Artificer is late for his scheduled meeting with Warrick. This catapults the events of the campaign, as well as Annabelle meeting her future party— an artificer searching for her missing father, a barbarian seeking revenge for the destruction of her town, a ranger with the last known dragon egg, and a paladin trying to prevent his kingdom from being destroyed by a volcano.

She’ll be sent by Warrick to join them for a quest, much to her surprise, and will discover that adventuring is just what she needs in her life. She runs off to join them, promising her sister she'll write to her.

Being an impulsive woman once she's discovered she has free will, Annabelle's bound to get into trouble and gain all sorts of scars- and probably a lot of them, since she literally isn't built for adventuring– as well as probably gaining... odd visions? And passing knowledges of skills previously unbeknownst to her? Strange...

While adventuring, Annabelle will occasionally feel guilt for leaving her job and family behind.

And oh, the Reveal! During her journey, Annabelle von Gears will eventually discover the truth that her soul isn't artificial like she was told: She had been a flesh-and-blood person whose soul had been ripped out (either from a living body or the afterlife) and rewired, just like every other warforged.... Which would explain all the odd memories and possibly even her want for adventure- she had been a person before. And surely Warrick must've known this whole time, right? (cue, hopefully, a climactic daughter-father fight)

(There's also an idea the DM and I have where Annabelle encounters the "resurrected" body of who she used to be, possibly leading to the body attempting to kill her so it can get its soul back. We're going to have so much fun with the horror elements)

Anyway augh this was A Lot, thank you for showing interest and allowing me to Ramble ;-;✌️🫶💕

[lovingmusicalmen]

Request:

14. “Stay away from me!”

A mister Antonio Racetrack Higgins x f!reader

She’s new to being a Newsie and she doesn’t know who she can and can’t trust because she has had a rough life in the past which has left her to feel like she can’t trust anyone. So she keeps her guard up but eventually she decides she can trust Race and she lets her guard down around him and only him and maybe show once her guard is down with him but isn’t with the rest so she isn’t chill around them and only Race?

Sorry that is a lot. I really like ur writing tho so yeah!

Awwww this one's such a cute idea - I hope that this fits your idea!! I'm so glad you like my writing!!

Angst 14: "Stay away from me!"

Blurb Requests still open!

"This waistcoat is amazing, Sunny!" Race announced, sliding into the table beside Y/N in Jacobis.

Y/N rolled her eyes and plucked the cigar from his lips. Race shot her a cheeky grin and pulled out another one, which Y/N promptly removed again.

"I told you to stop calling me that," she muttered.

"I thought I was the exception - you made me a new waistcoat and everything," Race joked, finally giving up on trying to light up a cigar and instead leaning back on the chair to prop his feet up on the table.

"Tell any of the others that and I'll chop your balls off - I know where you sleep, Higgins."

"We should warn Spot Conlon that Sunny here's coming for his brand," Jack teased, joining them at the table. Race brightened up, while Y/N tensed, glaring at the newsboy.

"Stop calling me that," she gritted out.

"But you're just such a ray of sunshine," Albert joked as he, too, joined them holding a glass of water.

Y/N clenched her jaw, glaring holes in the table.

"Guys stop it," Race said with a slight laugh.

"But she's just been so open and friendly since she got here - what else could we possibly call her?" Finch said, clapping a hand on Y/N's shoulder.

Y/N gripped onto his hand and threw it off of her, standing up and pushing Finch back, sending him tumbling back a couple of steps.

The Manhattan Newsies fell silent, all eyes watching the exchange. But Y/N didn't have it in her to care, anger boiling in her veins. She stepped forwards again and jabbed Finch in the chest.

"Don't fucking call me that. And stay away from me," she hissed, then addressed the room at large. "All of you."

Y/N turned and stamped out of the restaurant. The moment that the door closed behind her, though, she dropped the stern facade and took off running, ignoring the tears that were blurring her eyes and the angry shouts of other pedestrians as she almost bowled over them in her haste to get as far away as possible.

It wasn't until the Brooklyn Bridge stood in front of her that she stopped, gasping for breath and leaning against the railings. She pulled off her hat - gifted to her the very day she had turned up, prickly and rude to cover her terror - and pressed it to her mouth to try and muffle her sobs.

It was only a couple of moments later that more wheezing breaths met her ears. She forced herself to look over at Race, who was doubled over, two newspaper bags slung over his shoulders.

"Jesus, Sunny - they should call you Racetrack. You run fucking fast," Race gasped out. "Sorry - know you said not to call you that."

"You probably wouldn't be so out of breath if you stopped smoking," Y/N whispered, not acknowledging the name. Because Race had been right in his earlier teasing - he was the exception.

Her friend offered her a smile and flopped onto the ground beside her. He hesitated and then lifted his arm, and Y/N fell into the embrace.

"I'm sorry about them - they've seen you opening up to me, thought it meant they could act the same as I do," Race whispered. Y/N just shrugged, still nestled into the crook of his arm.

"I just don't know how to do it."

"Do what?"

"You know..." Y/N shuddered a little. "Trust them, I guess? How do I know they're not going to... hurt me? Or try and send me back?"

Race's arm tightened around her and Y/N felt him press a kiss to the top of her head.

"You don't," he murmured. "I wish I could stop all the awful shit that happened to you before you found me - found all of us. But I'm glad you got here now," he kissed her hair again. "And we've all got our shit that landed us as Newsies. So all of them get it, even while they're dicks a lot of the time. But you trust me, right?"

Y/N pulled away from him, wiping her eyes. She mustered up a smile.

"Against my better judgement," she joked. Race rolled his eyes and reached over to ruffle her hair.

"So if you can't trust them yet - trust me. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you again, Sunny."

Y/N burst out laughing and lent back into Race, nestling her face into his neck.

"Anyone but you calls me that again and I'll bring them here and push them off of the fucking bridge."

[conkreetmonkey]

Ok, so I'm still working on my Splatoon Urchin hcs regarding Spyke for that fanfiction I'm going to write, and I think I had something of a breakthrough yesterday. The bulk of this text is copy/pasted from a Discord message, and then edited to not be as messy.

These hcs also, I think, apply to Toguni for the time being (maybe I'll tweak them later, idk).

If you want to hear my worldbuilding ramble, check under the cut! Fair warning, though, it's a LONG one.

New hc is as follows:

Urchins, or at least Spyke's subspecies/type of Urchin, are supposed to use their own spines to extract super sea snails from their shells (as supplementary materials mention), but Spyke never learned how due to (my version of him) being orphaned at a very young age, which is why he uses a screwdriver. It's just a jury-rigged solution he figured out as a kid and never stopped doing, and if any other Urchin ever saw his "methods" in action, they'd probably be weirded out. It's like he's hammering nails with the side of a big wrench; yeah, it *works*, but it's inefficient, sloppy, and looks really stupid, especially when the proper tool is right there on his head.

This is why his "hair" is so big and long, and (if I'm not mistaken) seems to grow bigger with every game. You're supposed to either keep your spines trimmed (you can cut them to length and then sharpen the ends), or routinely pluck them out to use as tools (which is painless and non-damaging, like with porcupine quills). Spyke, out of pure ignorance, has never deliberately removed one of his own spines. The majority have been there since childhood, and he hasn't lost one in years because, after being left for so, so long, they've long since overgrown to the point of becoming extremely hard and brittle, and at this point they'd be very difficult and probably painful to remove. Urchin spines, including his, are usually supposed to be somewhat flexible like a plastic ruler, but his are rock solid because his body just keeps depositing more and more calcium into them, like he's one of those animals with horns, hooves or teeth that never stop growing and are intended to be regularly worn down. Not even "wild" pre-civilization but post-evolution Urchins tended to look like that, because the vast majority figured out it was useful and painless to pluck them out for use as tools, and they just need to be there and be pointy to serve as a defense mechanism.

Spyke is the Urchin equivalent of a human who has never cut, brushed or washed their hair, and now has a thirty-pound, butt-length mop of matted dreadlocks making up most of their silhouette. He could also be compared to an escaped sheep that goes years without shearing, except instead of wool it's sharpened railroad spikes.

His overgrown scalp is dangerous to others, incredibly impractical, make it impossible to wear certain types of clothing, and are heavy. Anyone else suddenly saddled with his burden wouldn't be able to keep their head up straight and would be poking out eyeballs left and right, but Spyke is just used to it. He's had decades to adapt, and people usually avoid it pretty well anyway, if they're even tall enough to walk into it. Urchins are very scarce in Inkadia (think white people in modern-day Japan, lol), so most lifelong residents assume Spyke is a normal representative of his very diverse species. To another Urchin, however, he's a Ripley's-level freak.

At this point, Spyke's spines are so firmly rooted and hard that a "haircut" would require clamps, pliers and an angle grinder, and would likely take hours, if not days, to complete. It might even be worth televising, although he'd hate that. At this point, realistically, they all just need ripped out so new ones can grow. It would probably hurt and involve some mild blood. Spyke doesn't even know what his shell looks like under there.

I have more headcanons about how Urchin spines work, but that's about it so far as they apply to Spyke. I'll probably make that its own post later.

Please feel free to send me questions/thoughts!! I'm always down to play tuoys.

[canofspooks]

DannyMay Day 16 (Fangs)

Summary: Danny’s reflection has been changing. Sometimes those changes hurt. Sequel to the ‘No CTRL+Z’ prompt, since I wrote these out of order.

Words: 1947

He hated Phantom's reflection. From afar, it might've looked normal, but the closer he got to the mirror, the more the imperfections showed. Phantom fresh from Danny's untimely demise had been completely human aside from the eerie glowing eyes, but now... it'd gotten so much worse.

His face was becoming more gaunt and discolored, paling to the sickly green he had seen on his frightening future self. The shower curtains he could see bleeding into his form in the mirror taunted him, reminding Danny of how difficult it had become to keep a solid shape anymore. The worst of it all was the teeth - the reasoning for him being in the bathroom in Phantom form in the first place. To think that he could numb the pain of those two, long fangs growing in with a little toothache medication felt silly, but he was getting desperate now. The ache in his jaw didn't stay confined to his ghost form, following him throughout the school day despite him (hopefully) not sporting the massive canines when existing in the world as Fenton.

He dabbed some of the gel onto his finger and spread it liberally around the base of the fangs. Even if it felt silly, anything to numb the pain would be well worth the $5 he'd spent on a single, small tube.

The logistics of allowing the medication to take affect were completely lost on him. Would switching back completely remove the substance from his gums? Would numbing the pain in his human form help at all, or was it psychological in nature - as Jazz probably would've suggested. Just to be safe, Danny stayed as Phantom, and made his way over to the bathroom door on a mission to return to his bedroom and hopefully take a nap until it finally kicked in.

Then he heard a crash from the basement, and the tell-tale vworp of the portal as it spat out another ghost.

Damn it.

Danny slipped through the floors into his parents' lab, and grabbed a thermos from the counter before he could even tell who it was.

Instead of his usual fair of the green-ish, giant floating monsters, the faces that greeted him were much more human-like.

"The Ohio ghosts?" He stood there, dumbfounded. "I thought you were like. Gone."

Their brief meeting a few weeks ago would've all but slipped his mind, if not for the dubiously-acquired sum of cash they'd given him for helping them get back into the Ghost Zone.

"Trust me, kid. We wanted to be. This place is fucking insane," the shorter one, Conrad, shoved his hands in his pockets and eyed the various devices and tools around the lab with a keen interest. Now that Danny wasn't stressed out of his mind and on a tight schedule, he noticed that the ghost was sporting the kind of clothes he expected from an old aviator. If it was casual Friday, that is. The bomber jacket, dog tags, and jeans all screamed "old-timey war ghost on a budget". The man's thick-rimmed glasses hid his glazed-over eyes pretty well in the lighting of the lab, and if not for the massive burn scar running down the right side of his face, Danny would've clocked him as a normal, living human with an oddly dated choice of fashion.

"Here," Danny offered, "I'll turn off the portal before anything else comes through. What... uh... what happened?"

Danny was glad the ghosts didn't seem keen on immediately trying to kill him, but he'd rather them not be in a lab with a bunch of deadly anti-Phantom weaponry, especially with how intently Conrad was considering one of the guns. Step one, turn off the portal. Step two, shoo them out to somewhere less dangerous.

"I don't know what's in the air around here, but it's impossible to move two steps in that other world without getting harassed by some dipshit with magic fuck-you powers."

The other ghost - Poppet, if he remembered correctly - shot a glare at their companion. "At least try to be mindful of your language around the child, I am begging you." Their colors were still washed out, with the exception being their glowing green eyes that were similar to his own except for the black sclera. Their formal attire looked more roughed-up than it was last time, with the dress shirt untucked and tears in their pants. Whatever they'd gotten into a fight with, it must've been recent. He was pretty sure that sort of damage to a ghost's form was supposed to heal itself over time.

He didn't want to hear the two argue again, so he cut off Conrad's retort with the loud shutdown chime of the portal.

"Who attacked you? Was it a guy with a beanie obsessed with boxes, or a old lunch lady?"

Poppet's heels clicked against the floor as they paced around. "Neither of the ones you described sound familiar. Our assailant - or, the most recent one - was someone with control over ice. It feels as though everyone in the underworld is looking for a fight. I don't envy you, Daniel, if these are the kinds of monsters you deal with frequently."

With the portal fully off, he led the ghosts out of the lab and into the park. The farther they were away from deadly weaponry, the better.

"It's not that bad. Half the ghosts around here are easy to beat, once you get to know them." As per usual, Danny decided to focus on the Box Ghosts of the world, rather than his genuine near-death experiences. Those were much easier to process, anyhow. "So... uh, what's the plan, then? If you can't escape, are you gonna hang around here for a bit?"

Conrad huffed. "Nah, we're probably gonna walk. Maybe hitchhike a bit. No way in hell am I staying 'round here with all these monsters around every corner."

As if on cue, the aching in Danny's jaw flared up again, and he reflexively put his hand up to his cheek to dull the pain with pressure, since apparently the medication wasn't working.

"You okay, kid?" Conrad inched closer. When Danny opened his mouth to reply, his eyebrows shot up. "- woah, that's new. When'd you get those teeth?"

"E'ry ghos' aroun' here has fangs," he mumbled, reluctant to move his jaw anymore than strictly necessary. "S'normal."

Conrad rifled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter, and small bag of dried leaves. "Here, burning sage seems to help with the pain. Maybe it'll work here."

"You're not going to give him drugs. He's like twelve." Poppet grabbed the lighter.

"I'm sorry, do you see a fucking ghost pharmacy around here? I know sage works, I have sage - this seems like a pretty reasonable choice."

Poppet reluctantly gave the lighter back, and Conrad dumped some of the sage into his palm, then lit the dried leaves on fire.

He held out his hand. "Wherever the smoke touches should numb for a bit."

"Your hand. Doesn't the fire hurt?" Danny couldn't help but ask.

Conrad bit his lip. "... I have... fire powers..."

And that was just about the worst lie Danny had ever heard, but he was far too concerned with the fact that it was working. The pain in his jaw was replaced with a much more manageable, radiating warmth that only slightly felt like blood blossoms against his skin. If not for the fact that he'd felt the full force of the sulfurous choke of blood blossoms before, he probably wouldn't have even registered it as pain.

The sage finally burnt out, and Conrad wiped the ashes on his pants.

"Thanks. That actually worked." Danny brushed a finger across his gums, finding that he could barely feel the pressure against them.

"No problem. Pops, what's up?" Conrad looked over to where Poppet had been studying Danny with an intense stare.

"It's not a ghost thing," they stated.

Danny squinted. "What?"

"It can't be a ghost thing. The fangs, the skin - all the monsters in this area of the underworld have similar features, even the ones that couldn't be ghosts. What if it's the mist doing this? When we first came here, Conrad, don't you remember how much it burned to breathe?"

He was fully ready to accept that the Ghost Zone itself was evil, but he couldn't get passed the first part they said. "Woah, woah, what do you mean 'couldn't be ghosts'? It's the Ghost Zone, it's all ghosts."

The two ghosts looked at him funny, before Conrad piped up, "I don't know if we've met the same guys, but there are some 'ghosts' in the other world who are like... the supernatural embodiments of concepts. I don't know if there's a bureaucratic process you gotta go through to be considered the spirit of sleep and dreams, but I have a hard time believing that dude was just some guy from the like 1300's."

He assumed Conrad was talking about Nocturn, in which case... yeah, in retrospect he really should've questioned how that all worked. At the time, he had been more concerned with surviving, though.

"Okay, so, he's a monster from another dimension or something?"

Conrad laughed. "Fuck no. It's probably some other supernatural bullshit. I don't know how this all works. All I know is there's normal fucking ghosts like you n' me, and then there's a 50ft plant monster that could be the ghost of an eco-terrorist, or it could be a plant monster. Ocum's razor and all that."

"Can we refrain from discussing the plant monster?" Poppet grumbled.

"Sorry. Forgot. Sensitive subject and all that. Anyway, I think if you dipped from the area for a bit, maybe you might not turn into one of those big blue weirdos."

Danny considered the idea for a moment. Amity Park was his home. He couldn't just abandon it to struggle against the ghosts - or... vaguely-defined supernatural entities - all on its own. But maybe he could take vacations. Prolong his humanity with a few months away from the area, and leave his parents with the tools and knowledge to protect the town for the short time. So what if they were a bit more brutal in their methods? That would just mean his usual foes would have to take a raincheck during those periods of time, or face potential dissection at the hands of the older Fentons. If they chose to test their chances, then he could deal with the crushing guilt later.

Maybe he should take a vacation.

"I guess I always wanted to visit the Johnson Space Center in Texas..."

"Eh... maybe not there. The other world 'round there is all flesh."

"Excuse me?"

Conrad fumbled with his hands for a moment, trying to gesture towards... honestly, Danny wasn't sure what he was doing with his hands. It was just vague waving. "I don't want to explain. Just big flesh pit. Huge. Scary. Wouldn't recommend. If you're sticking to the human world then by all means, though."

"You two get around a lot."

"Against my will." Poppet's dead glare at their companion lightened up when it passed over Danny. "We shouldn't take up too much of your time. Good luck, take care of yourself. We'll be off to... wherever fate decides to take us next."

Before they left, he felt the need to add, "Um, please don't commit any crimes before you leave the city limits? I'd kinda feel responsible for that."

"I solemnly swear not to pickpocket until after we're in another town," Conrad promised with a grin.

"Thanks, I guess?"

He and the ghosts parted ways, and Danny was left holding his now-numbed cheek.

Right. Sage. He'd have to note that somewhere.

[lollipencil]

Milk Chocolate Moon

Well, I can provide my endorsement for Wonka. It now occupies a place in my mind close to Moon Knight, so naturally, this appeared between them like a pokemon egg.

Enjoy and be gentle

---

The first time was inconsequential.

Just another traveller who was deemed easy prey by muggers. And yet, after all was said and done, he didn't seem rattled at all.

"Well, that was unexpected," was the closest thing to a reaction he gave.

"Really? That's all he's got to say?!" Marc said incredulously as Steven silently agreed.

"Lucky I was close by," he said instead, "but I'd avoid walking down side alleys at this hour in future." And that was that.

Only it wasn't.

---

On a rooftop, close to the alley where the near-mugging occured, was a small display. Clearly homemade but highly decorated with a considerable amount of skill. Hieroglyphs were painted in bright colours, surrounding the little statue of Khonshu that stood in the centre.

The second time didn't involve a meeting.

"Something requires your attention," Khonshu declared in his usual manner, but with more energy than typical. In fact, he was almost bouncing.

"What now?" Marc sighed wearily. It had been a long night.

"Nothing too exhausting."

"Alright. Lead the way."

Marc blinked.

"What?"

"An offering has been left," Khonshu borderline purred.

"Great," Marc smiled awkwardly under his mask.

"Take it."

"Why would I do that?"

"It's an offering," Khonshu stated as if that alone was the reason. Far too tired to argue with him, Marc shrugged and took the statue home.

He was so tired in fact, that it took until mid-morning for him to notice what it was made of.

"Wait. Is this, chocolate?" Marc tilted it as if it would suddenly become stone at the right angle.

"Looks like it's chocolate for lunch," Steven stated resigned.

"I don't think it's vegan," Marc said, startled at Steven's comment.

"Not the first time."

"And why is it our lunch?" Jake piped up from the fish tank, eyeing up the statue as if it would bite them.

So, with a nod, Marc bit off its head. The whole thing was solid, leaving a perfect indent of his teeth in its torso. And, oh, the taste.

"That was left as an offering to Khonshu. If he showed Marc where to find it, it means he's already "eaten" his part. As his priests, we now must eat the tangable offering," Steven explained with a sigh. Well, it was hardly the worst thing Marc had to do for Khonshu, he mused as he removed the clear plastic it had been wrapped in.

"The whole thing? Right now?" Marc checked.

"Probably best."

"Should we all do it?" Jake's eyes were focused on it.

"Can't hurt," Steven shrugged, "Would at least keep the bird off all our backs."

In the end, they each took turns to munch away at their unexpectedly perfect prize. The instant it was all gone, they all felt almost blessed. They said not a single word the rest of the day, just basked in that gentle feeling that cycled between them.

He never had anything like it.

"You both wouldn't like it," Marc tried his luck, "But I'll take this one for the team-"

"Oh no you don't!" Jake slammed him aside, quickly tearing off the statue's left shoulder. As soon as it hit his tastebuds, he wept silently in sheer joy. He could feel Steven trying to push his way up, but he held him back just enough to finish his mouthful, then relented. Most of Steven's own mouthful was the sceptre, and prompted his own tears to join the river of Jake's.

---

The third time was unexpected by all parties involved.

All three of them had started beginning and ending their nightly patrols by visiting that display with the impossibly minor hope that something else would be left. For two weeks, nothing. Then, something.

"Deal," Steven's voice was mentally echoed by Marc, Jake, and even Khonshu. And, after the next night yielded a jar of chocolates with caramel that literally glowed with moonlight, they all knew that anytime Mr Wonka needed assistance, they would happily offer their services.

Out of everyone who could have left such a gift, the random unstartled young man in the top hat was not quite who they had in mind.

"Oh, hello again," he grinned when he spotted Steven, "Was just passing through, and thought I'd ask a little favour."

"What favour?"

"Well, I'm looking for a particular ingredient down some rougher places than before, and was hoping you'd help...ward off any less gentle folk."

"Well, alright. Only so long as no one else's in trouble along the way," Steven firmly wagged his finger.

"Of cource, I'll even pay you."

"Oh, there's no need," Steven tried to wave him off, "We don't do this for money-" Then, as if from thin air, the young man produced an identical chocolate statue of Khonshu.

"This would be a suitable down payment? And, for any incovenience caused, a sampling of the product I intend on making after tonight."