#it hurt my heart so good when he saved her
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FALLING OUT OF FRAME | Part 4
pairing: you x drew starkey
authors note: first off, I want to apologize for the delay in getting Part 4 to you. the flu hit me hard, and while I’m feeling better now, I’m still not 100%. Today’s been one of the better days, so I’m happy to finally share this with you! also, for all the new readers joining this series (welcome!), a quick note about the taglist: If you’d like to be added, please send me a message instead of commenting under posts. my notifications can get a little wild sometimes, and I don’t want to miss anyone’s request. Enjoy!
It had been a couple of days since the paparazzi had caught you. The pictures of you crying alone in the street made their rounds through the tabloids. Headlines blared across every news outlet: “Y/N Heartbroken: Tears on the Streets After Split with Drew Starkey”. You couldn’t escape them – everywhere you went, there were reminders of how vulnerable you had been, how much you were hurting. You had tried to fight it, tried to keep up a front. But the pictures, the emotional rawness, had taken a toll.
Your phone buzzed incessantly with notifications, and Drew’s name popped up more than you cared to count. The text messages, the calls, the voicemails – he was reaching out, desperate to fix what he had broken. You could feel the weight of his messages pressing down on you, each one pulling at the strings of your broken heart.
Drew’s text:
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. Please let me see you.”
“I didn’t mean this to happen. I miss you so much.”
“Can we please talk? I hate seeing you like this.”
You stared at the screen, your fingers hovering over the keys, but you couldn't bring yourself to reply. Every time you thought about responding, all you could see was that night – his absence, his lies, the way he had been with Odessa, and the emotional toll it was taking on you. The tears had fallen freely and now, in the cold light of day, they felt like a public spectacle. And that hurt.
Your friends were your saving grace during this time. Madelyn had taken you in the moment she found out about the photos. You spent long nights at her apartment, binge-watching shows and talking about everything and nothing. It was a distraction you needed, but even then, your thoughts kept circling back to Drew.
Madelyn was a good friend, she knew how to give space when you needed it but also to push you when you were being too hard on yourself. “Y/N, you can’t keep torturing yourself like this,” she told you one evening, as you both sat together on her couch, a glass of wine in hand. “I know it’s hard, but you have to stop looking at those pictures and thinking that’s all there is to your story. You deserve so much more than to be defined by what happened with Drew.”
“I know,” you sighed, resting your head against the back of the couch. “But it’s hard, Madelyn. It’s not just about the photos or the press. It’s everything. I thought we were more than that. I thought… I thought it was real.”
Madelyn’s expression softened, and she leaned in, taking your hand. “I know you did. And I think, deep down, Drew did too. But right now, you need to figure out what you want. Not what he wants. Not what the press wants. You need to decide what’s best for you.”
But even as your friends gave their support, you couldn’t escape the pull of Drew’s attempts to contact you. His phone calls became a constant. Every time your phone buzzed, your stomach twisted in knots. You hated that he was the one making you feel like this, that he still had the ability to drag you back into his world with just a message.
Finally, on one particularly sleepless night, the phone rang again. Drew’s name flashed across the screen.
You didn’t answer it.
Minutes later, another text from him:
“Please I can’t stand this. I’ve seen the pictures. I know you’re hurt. But I need you to know, I never wanted to hurt you. Us. I’m sorry for everything. Can we please meet and talk? I love you please don’t forget that.”
You stared at the message, feeling that familiar ache in your chest. Part of you wanted to believe him, wanted to give him the chance to fix this, to explain himself. But another part of you – the stronger, more resilient part – was terrified of falling for the same lies, the same empty promises.
You knew what you had to do. You couldn’t keep letting him pull you back into this mess.
__
The next day, you went to work, keeping your head down, avoiding any attention. But it was impossible to escape the ever-present eyes of the public. Every glance at your phone, every time you stepped outside, you could feel the weight of the scrutiny. The paparazzi had followed you more than once, snapping pictures of you walking alone, trying to find solace in your routine.
But no matter where you went, there was always someone watching. Always someone commenting. The paparazzi caught it all – the lonely moments and the sadness in your eyes. It felt like you were trapped in a never ending cycle of being seen, but not truly known.
It wasn’t long before Madelyn called you again. Her voice was gentle, but you could hear the concern behind it. “Y/N, Drew wants to meet. He’s asking if you can at least hear him out. He says he’s messed up. He is not asking for forgiveness, just a chance to explain.”
You stood by the window, staring out at the city, the weight of her words sinking in. You had to make a choice. You couldn’t keep going back and forth between holding on and letting go.
But could you trust him again?
The uncertainty gnawed at you, and all you could do was take a deep breath and say “Tell him… I’m not ready. Not yet.”
Madelyn didn’t argue. She knew this was something you had to figure out on your own.
You spent the next few days doing everything you could to put distance between yourself and the mess that had become your relationship with Drew. You kept working, you spent time with friends, and you tried – really tried not to think about him. But you couldn’t escape the feeling that something was missing, that your world felt incomplete without him in it.
But then you realized: You had to be okay without him first. You couldn’t keep trying to piece yourself together with someone who had already shown they weren’t ready to treat you the way you deserved.
And so, you decided that you needed to move on. You deserved better than being stuck in a limbo. You deserved love that was real, not based on a public imagine, not tainted by lies and half-truths.
This was your time to find yourself again. And maybe, just maybe, Drew wasn’t a part of that future.
TAGLIST: @princesspeach124 @idiotussupremus @eitaababe @13tter @drewsephrry @drewstarkeyzwhore @cooper8224 @maybankslover @elyseesarchive @ietss @esquivelbianca @josephandrewstarkey @willowpains @wtfdudesblog @purplerose291 @rafegf-real @matthewswifeyy @fangirl-magic @snowtargaryen @slut-era
#drew starkey#drew starkey x reader#drew starkey x y/n#drew starkey x you#drew starkey x female reader#outer banks#drew starkey x oc#drew starkey imagine#drew starkey imagines#drew starkey fanfiction#drewstarkey#drew starkey smut#drew starkey angst#drew starkey fluff#fallingoutofframe the series#obx season 4#fallingoutofframe#starkeyslibrary
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okayy. so this is my request idea 😍
can i req for him pls, he still mourning his wife however you (acacius' daughter) willing to give him your love, sadly he did not want it or keep you away from him. until you realized that he still in love with his wife so you gave distance. at the end, he wanted you and saved you after your father's death
Thank you for requesting <33
(Note: reader is not Lucilla’s daughter, just Acacius’ from a previous marriage)
——————
It had been a while since you’d last seen him.
You remembered your last encounter painfully well, when he'd turned his face away, unable to bear seeing the earnestness in your eyes. You had poured your heart out to him, but he hadn't been able to accept it. He'd drawn that line firmly in the sand, having to accept the consequences that came with it.
He hadn’t meant to hurt you, not really, but his heart was still splintered in a thousand bleeding shards. He was constantly reminded of the one he had loved for years before his return to Rome; The one he had bitterly lost at your father's command back in Numidia.
He never said her name at first — Arishat — until the day you confronted him after the naval battle at the colosseum. He had vowed his revenge against your father for her death, and he could not see past his hatred and mourning to see you. One of the only people who had offered him your genuine friendship, who'd heard countless stories about him from his mother, weaving an image of the strong, good-hearted man that you would one day fall in love with.
That day, the image had been shattered and your heart didn't fare any better. And so, for both of your sakes, you decided to keep your distance.
But then, after your father was arrested and forced to fight Lucius in the arena as a gladiator, things took a drastic turn. At the last moment, when your father had surrendered to him, Lucius decided to spare him, even going so far as to defend his honor.
Still, the Praetorian guard riddled him with arrows, and loss like you had never known had you crying to the skies, cursing the will of the Gods.
After the funeral, you were secluded at home for a nine-day mourning period in which no one else could reach you. Even after that, you refused to see anyone for another two weeks, letting both your heart and the scratches on your face from lamentations heal a little more.
When you felt just strong enough, you decided to throw a small dinner party to honor his life. And once the sun had set, it was none other than Lucius who showed up last, his expression somber. His body language was hesitant, like he wasn't entirely sure he would be welcome.
But when you made eye contact with him from across the room, he felt a little more encouraged to approach you. He offered his condolences and silently stood next to you as you stared at the flickering flames dancing in one of the braziers.
"Your father was a good man," he said. "I've come to realize that a little too late."
"He did what he had to do for the glory of Rome," you said, accepting his words but not denying that he had committed acts of brutality in his time as a commander.
"I have made many mistakes when it comes to you, as well. Please, forgive me."
You looked up at him and realized that despite how hard you had tried not to, you still ached for him. Swallowing thickly, you looked away before any tears could form in your eyes.
"It's all in the past now, Lucius," you murmured. "I bear you no ill will, especially after you showed mercy to my father."
There was a long silence in which the two of you were lost in thought. The two of you had your own burdens to bear, but perhaps they wouldn't be so heavy if the weight was shared. He had realized he did not want to be separated from you, even if it would take some time for the two of you to fully open up again.
He was a patient man and was more than willing to work for it -- to see it through. In time, perhaps two broken hearts would meld each other, stronger than before.
"I should like to be the one to take care of you now," he said, looking at your profile. "If you'll let me."
You stiffened, feeling something akin to hope surge within you. A lump formed in your throat and you let a tear run down your cheek. Unable to find the right words to respond to him, though, you settled for taking his hand.
And it was then he knew that things would be alright.
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#lucius verus x reader#lucius verus x you#gladiator fanfiction#lucius verus fanfiction#lucius verus#x reader#minors dni
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𝐵𝑒𝒶𝓊𝓉𝒾𝒻𝓊𝓁 𝒩𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉𝓂𝒶𝓇𝑒 | 𝒵𝒶𝓎𝓃𝑒 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱 | 𝒫𝓉 . 1
𝑆𝑢𝑚𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑦: 𝑍𝑎𝑦𝑛𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 𝑢𝑝 𝑡𝑜 𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑡𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑛𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑒. 𝑃𝑙𝒶𝑔𝓊𝑒𝒹 𝑏𝑦 𝘩𝑖𝑠 𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦, 𝘩𝑒 𝑟𝑒𝑚𝑒𝑚𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑠 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑠𝑡 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒 𝘩𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑤 𝘩𝑒𝑟.
𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑠: 𝐷𝑟. 𝑍𝑎𝑦𝑛𝑒, 𝐷𝑎𝑤𝑛𝑏𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑟, 𝑃𝑎𝑛𝑖𝑐 𝐴𝑡𝑡𝑎𝑐𝑘, 𝐴𝑛𝑛𝑥𝑖𝑒𝑡𝑦, 𝑁𝑖𝑔𝘩𝑡𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑒, 𝐷𝑎𝑦𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎����.
𝐴𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑡: 𝑃𝑙𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑚𝑚𝑒𝑛𝑡 𝑖𝑓 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡𝘩𝑒 𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑖𝑠𝑡
𝐸𝒹𝒾𝓉𝑜𝓇: @cordidy
“Who are you?”
“I am you, I suppose.” He whispers coldly.
“What do you want?” I snapp.
“Her.”
My eyes burst open, the feeling of my heart racing in my chest causes me to sit up. The cold sweat on my forehead and the combination of heavy breathing make me shake.
He looks like me.
He sounds like me.
But he's not me.
He is the nightmare, the grim reaper dressed in black.
He’s a killer, a monster, everything that I hope not to be.
My hands are used to save lives,
While his hands are used to take them.
Hugging my legs close to my chest, tears running down my face as I bit my lips so no sound comes out, I try to breath in and out slowly, to contain my fear…in vain.
Don’t wake her up.
I glance over in her direction; there she is sleeping so peacefully. Even in her sleep she is beautiful.
Her hair a mess, a little bit of drool on the pillow and yet, she still manages to take my breath away.
Looking at her makes my heart rate slow down and my breathing starts to even out. Extending my hand to hers I try to touch her soft skin, but I quickly retrieve it, the black ice in my palms sending shockwaves of pain to my body as I race out of bed and stumble to the bathroom.
The voices start…
“Abomination.”
“She only causes pain.”
“You can’t save her.”
“Leave her.”
“Not worth it.”
“Her.”
They repeat the same words, over and over and over again. His…my voice is louder than the others.
Dropping to the cold tile floor my vision starts to blur and my heart rate increases again. The pain in my palms travels to my chest, cold shards of ice piercing my heart, preventing me from breathing properly as images of the Grim Reaper taking her from me, her lifeless body in his hands, then my hands flood my brain.
The fear of losing her dulls my senses.
What did I do to deserve this? I just want to help people, I’m good, I’m not a monster.
Why does it hurt to love her? I want her. She’s good for me.
Why am I not normal?
The cold freezing pain in my chest is too much, and I feel myself drifting away as I desperately gasping for air like a fish out of water.
Calm down Zayne… it’s just another panic attack. Think of something, breath.
My mind drifts to when I first saw her….
It was a sunny day.
I’d ask Mother and Father to go play with Caleb since it’s been a while since I last saw him. I wanted to show him my book about fighter planes. After agreeing, and while they were driving me there Mother told me that Caleb had a new sister.
“A baby sister?”
“No son, she’s a little younger than you. Her parents passed away, she’s adopted.”
“Was it because of the Chronorift Catastrophe?” Mother and Father worked overtime at the hospital during the peak of the accident.
I barely saw them at all during those initial weeks…
They remained silent. I knew it was my que to be quiet as well.
Arriving at Josephine’s place, Caleb was waiting for me out by the porch, running down the stairs to greet me as soon as the car stopped.
“Zayne, look.” Caleb proceeded to show me his new ability with his Evol, taking a small rock and levitating it off the ground. A simple swoosh, and the rock went flying into the opposite direction. “I’ve been practicing.” He smiled proudly at me.
“It appears so, I got a new book on fighter planes. Like the ones you say you want to pilot.” I said calmly.
“Neeeeeerd, it better not have a bunch of words like that other one you showed me about black holes.” I shook my head, disapproving.
“Pictures and words.” I assured him.
“Alright, let’s look at it then. Come inside.”
Following Caleb we made our way inside as I waved goodbye to my parents pulling out the driveway.
I greeted Josephine politely and thanked her for having me again as she was baking cookies for us, Caleb’s grandmother telling me not to worry about it while my friend tugged at my arm and rushed me to his room.
We sat there on the floor looking at the images of the planes, oooooh’s and aaaah’s filling the room as I read some facts out loud.
“Caleb.” Josephine called from the kitchen.
“Coming.” He answered, leaving for a few seconds before returning with a little black shadow tugging behind him.
That’s the first time I laid eyes on her.
She peaked her head off to the side, locking eyes with me and the afternoon glow illuminated her face softly.
Her hair fell past her shoulders down to her waist, her bangs covering her forehead as her hair was parted half up half down. A cute red bow matched her jean overalls, little lambs embroidered at the bottom and white long sleeve shirt.
It was in that moment, while locking eyes with her, that I knew gravity no longer held me down.
She did.
I felt my ears turn red with embarrassment but I couldn’t move, the feeling of my heart racing in my chest distracting me from everything else around me.
It felt like my very soul knew who she was. The feeling…indescribable for a twelve year old….
I didn't understand that what I was feeling was… love.
“Hi.” She smiled at me sheepishly and from that moment on, I knew her smile would be the death of me and that I’de do anything to keep her smiling.
Even if it meant I vanished in the wind.
Feeling the cold tile floor, I’m finally able to breathe again as my heart rate starts to slow down.
I sit up, staring at the moon outside the bathroom window before looking at my hands and arms for any new injuries.
My palms are bleeding a bit.
Seeing the fresh wounds on my hands among the faded ones on my arms makes me remember the first time I lost control of my evol.
It was a few weeks after meeting her.
Caleb and I were practicing while she was playing with some flowers.
I don’t know what happened, the ice shard flying out unexpectedly on its own accord, almost hitting her in the process. If it wasn’t for Caleb using his evol to move her out the way, the shard would have pierced her heart.
My hand froze and the black ice crystals started to form on my arms, the cold making my skin rip as I received my first scars.
Later that night, I saw him for the first time…..the grim reaper…
It’s strange how my love for her causes me so much pain.
Only twice has she seen the severity of my situation, the second time almost killing her as she tried to heal the ice crystals.
No matter.
I stand up and wash the fresh set of wounds on my palms, then take some water and splash it on my face.
I face the mirror, the dark circles under my eyes visible in the moonlight.
I know he sees me.
I know his green eyes are looking right back at me.
He peeks into my life, my memories and taunts me.
I know he loves her just as much as I do.
“You’ll never have her.” I whisper coldly, looking at my palms one last time before facing the mirror again.
“She’s mine.”
Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed. Pt. 2 with Dawnbreaker coming soon. Have a happy holidays. This is the only place I post my fics. Anywhere else was reposted without consent.
~𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒟𝑒𝒶𝒹 𝒮𝓉𝑜𝓇𝓎 𝒯𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓇 ~
#love and deepspace#lnds zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lads zayne#dawnbreaker#l&ds zayne#writers on tumblr#dr zayne#zayne fic
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Me and My BIG MOUTH!!!
(A snippet from A Mafia AU)
(A/N - More AWESOME art by @pilot-boi!!! If she keeps doing this I'll have to make a separate blog just for this AU!!!)
Pyrrha was a nervous wreck. She was once again out with Jaune, when some LOW-LIFE tried to harm her loveable dork! No her... target. Yeah that's what Jaune is... her target... not her dork, or adorable. Stupid heart!
Anyway, they were walking down main street when Pyrrha has noticed a red dot reflected off a store window. She didn't need to be a brain surgeon to know what that meant. So she reacted, in her best interests... not to save Jaune and keep her cuddly-bunny from getting hurt. Of course not that!
Grabbing Jaune by the wrist she spun him away from the window, pressed her forearm to his chest and physically power walked him into a trash filled alley. Jaune let out a grunt when his back hit a wall. Her forearm traveled up his rather taunt chest, and pressed against the base of his throat pinning him to the wall. One look at his surprised and fearful eyes and Pyrrha felt like she had just kicked a puppy.
"P... Pyr?" Jaune stammered out, in utter shock.
"Quiet, and stay here." Pyrrha instructed her tone leaving no room for argument. "Someone's after you, now let me do my bodyguard duties, and chase them off."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. Now stay here out of sight. Go it?" Jaune nodded in response.
Pyrrha was on the move a fraction of a second later. She knew that the shooter was smart enough not to take a wild shot, hence the store front window being still in one piece, and seeing as there were no shouts of panic, she knew they weren't street level. Scanning the street and roof tops from her hidden corner, she caught movement.
"He's mine." Pyrrha growled, before bolting across the street. She had to move, and move fast. If this shooter was worth their salt they would be right now repositioning for a clean line of sight.
Finding a rust fire-escape, Pyrrha jumped caught the bottom rung and using pure upper body strength crawled up it until her feet touched the rungs. Once she could get her legs involved her ascent to the roof was extremely rapid. Once she was at the rooftops, she took a quick look and saw her quarry.
She didn't recognize the guy. Figures some nobody would make a move on her man! Growling she charged across the gravel coated roof. The crunch of her feet alerted the would-be-shooter, but Pyrrha was a champion, a prodigy, and in denial of her true feelings. So the poor shmuck was no challenge.
"You dare take a shot at my BABY DADDY!" Pyrrha screamed without registering what she was saying as she grappled, twisted, yank, and then snapped various bones, on multiple limbs. Rendering the man unable to do anything but sit in a wheelchair for the foreseeable future, her mind caught up to what she had just yelled.
"You didn't hear that!" she snarled making the unnamed man whimper and whine in absolute terror.
The sound of clapping startled Pyrrha making her whip about to come face to Terra Cotta-Arc wearing a shit eating grin. Pyrrha's eyes went wide, and her face flushed cherry red.
"Don't worry," Terra smirked as she walked over to the down would-be-shooter. Pyrrha watched her draw a strange looking pistol from under her coat. "No one will say a thing."
Pyrrha tensed for the weapon's report, but there was none. One second the would-be-hitter was whimpering in agony and the next his brains were decorating the roof. Terra continued to smile her shit-eating grin as reloaded the single shot weapon.
"So," Terra spoke as she holstered her strange weapon, and then draped an arm across Pyrrha's shoulders. "Baby Daddy? Is there something we should know about going on in... Jaune's room behind closed door?"
"No."
"Good." Terra continued to smile, "Let me give you the same advice Mama Arc gave me. No ring... no hanky-panky. Understand?"
"Yes." Pyrrha wanted a hole to open beneath her and swallow her up.
"Good." Terra patted Pyrrha on the shoulder. "Get back to honey-bunny, I'll take care of this mess."
Slinking away completely embarrassed, Pyrrha activated her scroll to call Jaune and let him know she was safe, but just as she was tapping the screen a call came in. She didn't notice in her distracted sate.
"Jaune, it's Pyr. You're safe. I'm on my way back to you. Stay put."
"Jaune?" responded a voice that Pyrrha was dreading to hear. "Since when do you have the contact information for one Jaune Arc, and since when have you been calling yourself Pyr? Or was that his idea?"
"Mom!?!"
"Yes, my dear daughter it is your very cross, stressed and worried mother." Athena answered. "So would you care to..."
"Sorry... mom... you're... breaking... up..."
"Pyrrha, that trick will not work..."
Pyrrha pinched the bride of her nose as soon as she disconnected the call. She would deal with her mother later, much later. She tapped her thumb absent mindedly against the screen of her scroll as she started to make the descent to the streets below. The tell-tale woosh sound effect made her eyes go wide.
"No!" she whispered in horror as she just understood what had happened. Even though she had signed out of her chat with Blake, she had left it open. Open on to that photo... which she had just accidently sent to her mom.
In Athena Niko's suite she stared at her scroll. More than a little annoyed that Pyrrha, her daughter had unceremoniously tried the "going through a tunnel" trick before just hanging up on her. Then sent her a rather strange picture.
"What am I looking at?" Athena asked her executive assistant.
"It looks like your daughter wearing a set of boxers on her head, mistress."
"That's what I thought." Athena's fingers went slack and she for the second time that day passed out from emotional shock.
(A/N - Thank you to everyone whose helping make this such a fun series to do. SPEACIAL THANKS to @pilot-boi whose works of art are providing the inspirational basis for these stories. Also SPECIAL THANKS to @rwby-encrusted-blog for their additions to these AUs.
Okay I admit I’ve been thinking about this AU some more
They are rotating in my mind
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bro steb is my favorite background character lol. love my boy. also i hc him to be selectively mute <3
Now give me your steb headcanons or else *grabs TNT* :D /hj
How does it feel to be my first ask? Jk ik it feels amazing /j
Anyway, more Steb HCs below the cut :3
After the war, officers got an optional few months off. Steb took it, understanding how important it'd be for his health, but the time isn't spent the way it was intended to be. He spends the time still training and working out, volunteering in the medical field, and just reflecting on everything that has happened.
He is EXTREMELY hurt about Maddie's betrayal. As Enforcers, their trust is a heavy thing to have, especially having been in the strike team and positioned together. Their trust was life or death in so many instances. He saved her, and she was willing to just let him die at spear point. She manipulated him. So it's not that out there to think that he'd have some subconscious trust issues. Both having the fear that they'll die or the fear that they don't mean it when they try to gain his trust.
He tried to hand in his badge after finding out that Maddie wasn't who he thought she was. She was partially the reason he was promoted to the strike team and after that, so it doesn't feel deserved. Of course the station didn't accept it though.
Now onto some more.. Light hearted ones
He smells like petrichor
His frills are more sensitive than the rest of the skin in that area
He has 2 more sets of gills, one set on his collar bones and another along his ribs
He likes bitter things like dark chocolate and black coffee, however he also really likes tart things
Hes good at cooking, I don't think he's like.. a chef or anything but he's good at following a recipe
Steb is 100% the type to, while walking down a sidewalk or something, tap you on the opposite shoulder and snicker when you turn to look
Hes always got to be doing something for someone, his love language is acts of service. You're cold? He immediately gets up to get you a blanket. Headache? Have some ibuprofen. Tired? He's taking care of everything that day.
I hope you enjoy my ramblings
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I finished The Quarry! 8 hours for my first playthrough and I got 18/40 achievements along the way. To 100% it will require a few more total playthroughs (some of the achievements are blocked by getting others, so need their own playthrough) but I'm looking forward to seeing the other ways that everything can work out!
I made a few decisions that resulted in me completely not getting the results I expected, lol.
SPOILERS, if anybody cares 😉
I saved Laura and cured her of the werewolf infection but apparently didn't have as good a relationship with Travis as I thought I did so he locked her up at the end.
I cured Max but got him killed by Werewolf Caleb by trying to swim to land. 🫤 Emma was killed by Werewolf Max and was the first to die. I let Ryan bleed to death rather than become a werewolf because I honestly thought he was going to be revealed as bad. I thought he had deliberately hung up on calling 911 early in the game and lied about it, which was a clue to his true nature. Instead, oops, the phone really had been cut right then? Sorry, dude. 🤷♀️
Werewolf Nick killed Jacob in the cages because at that point I thought I was inevitably going to get everybody killed and figured I might as well go for that achievement. So I let Jacob be killed and then eventually realized I had too many infected werewolves by that time and they don't die so... oops. Killed you for nothing, Jacob, my bad. 🫤😉 I accidentally got Kaitlyn killed by failing the shooting QTE and I guess that was Werewolf Caleb who killed her? (Or was it Werewolf Silas? I dunno, doesn't matter, my girl was werewolf chow and that made me so sad. 😭)
Dylan and Nick survived as werewolves. Abigail, Laura and Travis all survived as humans. Everybody else ☠️
Characters I came to love by the end:
Dylan
I thought he was going to be the sorta stereotypical wisecracking annoying guy the whole way through and instead you discover he has a heart beneath all of the wisecracks. I love him, your honor! 💖
Kaitlyn
Very similar to Dylan, she proved to have a lot more heart than I expected. I started playing her with her most sympathetic options and wow, my opinion on her completely changed from the initial one. I love her, your honor! 💖
Laura
My badass queen, right here. Love, love, looooove her! I knew we'd see her again in the game at some point after the start and she did NOT disappoint. I seriously wanted the ending where she and Travis work together as well as her getting to meet Max again after he was cured. Definitely going to try for that next! 💖
Max
I had a lot of sympathy for Max. He didn't want to disappoint Laura, he was devastated when he realized he had hurt her after turning werewolf the first time, and he generally was just trying to be a good guy going through some terrible circumstances. Love him and I love him with Laura. 💖
Travis
Yeahhh, it's Ted Raimi. I'ma love him no matter what, lol. And yep, I can quite easily get aboard the Laura x Travis ship right along side the Laura x Max one. I contain multitudes, what can I tell you? 😂💖
I was worried about the level of blood/gore and found it to be not nearly as graphic as I thought it might be. Granted, you get a lot of people ending up splattered in blood so if that's not your thing, be wary of that. The werewolf kills/attacks weren't as graphic as I thought they might've been, so that was good (Kaitlyn's was the worst but at least it wasn't all in-your-face torture p0rn or the like; I just hated it because I didn't want her to die 😭😭😭). Of course, everybody's tolerance for things like that can be different AND there might be more graphic attacks that I just didn't encounter in this playthrough.
Also, the werewolf transformation scenes were some of the most interesting, if, um, wet 👀that I've ever seen. Basically, the werewolf bursts out of the human. I also thought the werewolf design was unique, though they kinda looked like very angry hairless cats to me, lol. 🤷♀️😉
Something also worth mentioning is the fact that you can't manually save, it only auto-saves at certain points. The game is very insistent that you can't go back and change your mind on your choices in your first playthrough. After finishing it, you get the option to do 3 "death rewinds" in subsequent playthroughs, where you can get the option to try to undo a character death.
Since I'm somebody who can get stressed out by feeling like I don't want to make a mistake... I had to get over that right away. You also get chapter selects after you finish the first game, so I'm hoping to be able to be able to utilize those 2 mechanics to be able to get all of the achievements I want without having to keep restarting the game over and over. Maybe not everyone will be bothered by that but I thought I should mention it, just in case.
Once I got past my "But what if I'm making the wrong choice???" fears (hint: I probably was, lol), I appreciated having to just stick to the consequences and see it through. 😉
So, in summary: I found this to be a lot of fun to play, there seems to be a TON of outcomes that you can get, I still suck at Quicktime events but am a little better than at the start, and I'm looking forward to playing through again several more times! 😎👍
#the quarry#the quarry spoilers#video game#video games#this is my game tag#laura kearney#travis hackett#max brinly#kaitlyn ha#dylan lenivy#ageless aislynn
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within the venn diagram of joel miller and javier peña, i feel like razing the enemy once they hurt someone they care about is smack dab in the middle
anywho im having insane thoughts about this tn 🩷
#i wish we could’ve seen more of helena in s1 with javi#it hurt my heart so good when he saved her#i wanna be saveddd#ggpedro speaks#joel miller#pedro pascal#javier peña#tlou hbo
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Spidey!Robin AU
this au from this post is still rotating in my head to the point of insanity so here are some ideas abt it
ronance|side-steddie
Robin didn't like spiders.
She wasn't afraid of them but most of them made her uneasy and she would rather not deal with them. Still, even with her uneasiness she could not bring herself to kill one. Which normally isn't a problem, Steve even if he himself was afraid of them, and Robin knew that, like Robin knew everything about Steve through years of exposure to him and extortion and possibly a case of their brains melting together, he would put a brave face and take care of it for her.
But Steve wasn't here right now and there was a spider on her desk. To top it, the spider itself was looking weird, almost intelligent. Maybe Steve was right and she was studying too much and her brain was going to fry up but she could swear there was something about the spider that made her think it could understand her.
"Here goes nothing." She mumbled to herself. "Okay little guy, I'll take you out the window but you need to stay put, no funny tricks!"
The spider predicably didn't respond.
"Jesus Christ Buckley, you're starting to talk to fucking spiders." She rolled her eyed and then sighed, and moved towards the spider with a sheet of paper. "I'm going to scoop you up on this thing buddy and then carry you to the window."
Still no response. She took a stabilizing breath and did as she said. The Spider, because at this point he deserved to be addressed with capitalized letters, was still staying put and letting itself be moved onto the sheet.
"Huh, this is easy." Steve always moans and complains all until the spider is out their apartment. But then, there rarely is a moment when Steve doesn't complain. Dustin always says he's like a grumpy grandpa, Robin just calls him bitchy. "We're almost there bud."
She opened the window and moved the sheet onto the window still. And then things happened so quickly she could barely blink. The Spider moved towards her hand and she went into the panic mode.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck, get off, get off, oh my god, get off, this is not what we agreed on!" Trying to shake it off her hand she also moved closer to the window and that's when she felt it. A small pinch, barely noticeable through her panic. "What the fuck! You bit me!"
The betrayal she felt was almost as strong as her panic, she shook her hand even harder and that's when the spider fell of right into the open window.
Her first thought was, thank god.
Her second was, I'm never laughing at Steve when he needs to throw out a spider ever again.
The third was, oh god it bit me. I'm going to die.
So turns out she was not going to die.
After a panicky call to Steve and a visit at the hospital, it was confirmed she was fine.
So, she's not dying, great, mostly after a week the Spider was almost out of her mind.
And that's when she starts feeling weird.
After that, she discovers she has powers, she tells Steve like, the next day because she can't not tell Steve, c'man, they don't keep secrets so she becomes spiderwoman
Okay so Robin is a freshmen in college and she lives nearby campus with Steve who is also either a freshmen (had a one year gap) or a sophomore
Steve is the og man in chair but they need some way to hack the police radio to get intel and that's where they involve Dustin (bc Steve still is the babysitter, just without the upside down shit) and his tech knowledge, how Erica gets involved is anyone's guess (maybe she makes the costume, i feel like Dustin would definitely be the one to suggest a costume, the lil comic nerd) but she does and so the Scoops Team is like Robin's team of operations
Four months in and Robin is starting to get this vigilante shit. Unfortunately, she's not very, uh, discreet. So the city gets a hero, but also the mystery. Who is Spiderwoman?
Enter Nancy Wheeler. Nancy, the leader of the campus newspaper. Nancy dedicated to become someone big, someone important, Nancy committed to breaking out, hungry for a story that would put her name out there.
So obviously, obviously, she wants to know who spiderwoman is more than anyone. And she's not used to not getting what she wants.
Robin to sway her away from her trail joins the newspaper.
"Why can't you do it Steve?"
"Okay first of all, no one would believe I want to join the newspaper and besides, Nancy is my ex-girlfriend!"
"Yeah! So you know her the best! You know how to distract her!"
"Did you miss the ex part?"
At first they have a bit of enemies flavor to them, because Nancy doesn't know why would Robin do this and also Nancy is publicly anti-spidey and Robin absolutely blabbers and ruins the two times she tries to defend spiderwoman (which actually, i think is just fucking flirting, you can't say Nancy doesn't enjoy a good argument and i think Robin thinks she flunked it but she actually made a few points that had Nancy thinking about them later like, huh, maybe there is something to her point and that makes Nancy feel all warm and fluttery inside, she just enjoys someone who can challenge her) but as they work together they start to have a bit more closer relationship
And she can't help it, she can't help it but develop a crush on Nancy fucking Wheeler of all people. But it's just she's so pretty and actually kind and stubborn and fierce, how was Robin not supposed to have a crush?
But Nancy Wheeler has a boyfriend. A boyfriend that also works for the newspaper. Jonathan Byler is a photographer for the campus newspaper and the biggest issue with him is that Robin actually fucking likes the guy.
And the thing is that at first Robin only really faces off against some petty criminals, like no one supernatural, for all she knows she is the only supernatural person in the world
Then Venom appears and Venom wants to fuck shit up. The guy is practically on a big power trip™ and Robin must stop him.
She can like spidersense him but only if she's really close to him, usually it works better, but this is almost like he's masking?? She doesn't really get it but she knows it it screws with her spidersense
And either they think its eddie munson because its just fit with the crime places and shit (but he's human) or one day her and Steve are walking through campus and they pass Eddie Munson and her spider senses are tingling™ (because he's spidey, bc spideys as a queer metaphor my beloved, also just imagine just how funny it would be if Eddie asked Robin if Steve is also like them (meaning queer) and she took it as meaning spidey so she's like "he wishes" chuckling and then starts talking how great and supportive he is tho, so Eddie thinks Steve is straight but a great ally snssj)
Either way Steve needs to get closer to Eddie Munson ("why i have to spend time with Eddie the freak Munson?" "Because i just joined the newspaper last month dingus! It's your time to pull your weight, besides your kids beg you like all the time to play their dice game! It's a good excuse!") so he starts sitting on hellfire meetings that is less a highschool club now and more of a friends meeting up together after Eddie graduated, under the disguise that he finally caved in with the kids begging (if he falls for Eddie Fucking Munson it's noones but his and Robin's business)
Venom is obvs Billy
Also! Also! A scene of Nancy sort of coming out to Robin, but not really Robin but spiderwoman and admitting her crush on Robin to her, on like some rooftop of a building after Robin saved her or some shit and Nancy is like "i feel like you would understand, constantly feeling torn between two words and identities" and it's like this vulnerable moment for Nancy and it's very bittersweet for Robin because now she knows
But she shouldn't have known. She shouldn't, she should have stopped Nancy before she said anything because she has really no right to know. Nancy didn't tell it to Robin Buckley, she said it to Spiderwoman. And after that Robin is a bit weird around Nancy because she KNOWS but she SHOULDN'T and oh god, she's gonna puke
And then Nancy finding out abt Robin being Spidey and feeling betrayed but also rejected because she now knows she revealed her crush to Robin and in turn Robin started acting weird so she takes this as rejection and it's this miscommunication between them and also maybe at this moment Robin also feels like a shit spiderwoman because Billy hurt Steve, who tried to protect the kids and she was unable to stop it and Steve is hurt and Nancy is mad at her and she can't be a superhero and she can't be just a normal girl and she feels so mad and tired
Anyway that's all i have, if you read this far I'm giving you a big kiss on the forehead 💖
#also also like Robin being mad at Steve for 'being a superhero' when it was suppsed to be her why cant he stop#selfsacrificing himself for just a moment why wont he let her be the hero and hes such a dingus#also also spidey eddie being like im no hero like you buckley ESPECIALLY after steve gets hurt because its like STEVE IS JUST HUMAN and yet#he's so brave and all eddie thinks he is good for is running#there is also a version of this where nancy hates spiderwoman because she didnt save barb (not for robins lack of trying)#and there is this scene where Robin holds Barb and she takes off her masks and she tries to talk to Barb bc her and Barb used to be friends#and cman Barb talk to me you know i hate silence cman Barb dont do this to me and Barb is like Robin? Robin im so sorry we stopped being#frineds why are we not friends anymore? 'its not important Barb we can be friends again just stay awake for me please' its a nice idea bein#your friend i think i would like that robin 'yeah? yeah i would like that too' i missed you i'm#i'm sorry i stopped being your friend *dies* 'barb? barb i missed you too cman Barb! Barb!'#but thats like a bit too much hurt for my poor heart#platonic stobin#robin buckley#nancy wheeler#ronance#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#spiderman au#stranger things#dom's au idea of the day
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theres two sides to me one where im so sad we didnt get branch as the one who got captured and had to be saved in the third, then theres another part of me thats happy he wasnt the one who got captured JNJGNDSJ
i feel it would've been so much more emotional if branch got captured? but at the same time idk how they couldve done it/made it work with how the current movie goes along w other stuff
idk theres a lot to it but im so YAAAY and NOOO that he isnt the one who got captured n it stayed a concept jNJGDJFS
#issak.txt#i feel we wouldve gotten more floyd if branch was captured too oop#no what nooo one of my reasons to wanting it isnt so i'd have more floyd noooo#nooooooo#whyd you think that?#silllyyyyy#remembering that tho makes me miserable even imagining the end when they save floyd tho if its swapped#idk all i can imagine is branch becoming clear gummy lookin yk hes like. Dead#and then u have poppy and floyd both rushing over to him#and theyre Miserable#poppy is self explanatory i dont need to explain how that'd be affecting her#but floyd? i imagine such GUILT hits him. given the context/idea they all still left branch when he was a baby#hes just kneeling there holding branch as he starts to cry regretting how he never came back sooner how he wish he came back sooner and#hes so sorry and regrets *everything* bc he loves branch so dearly and just#UGH SORRY#im getting too angsty but anyway yeah you get the jist of like. why i think it'd be a good alternative#then i remember its a kids movie and that shit hurts too much and the franchise is way more light hearted then that#so i dnt think i could handle it JNGJFDNGJSDN lord
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said a prayer for Jjong today.
#shinee#jonghyun#idk i don't usually yk. do things like that for people that have passed but it's been six years and it felt fitting somehow#six years ago i was what. 12 about to turn 13???? had already been to a fair bit of funerals but the only ones that had hit me before#this one were the pianist at our church who passed away suddenly from a heart attack and the regional club leader who had cancer#for like three years and passed just as the doctors thought she would go into remission#and those both happened around October/November so. going into the winter season has always been hard for me and Jjong#was no different.#it's gotten better slowly but it still hurts sometimes. some days i wake up and i can't even look at any of his pictures other days#i get up and put his albums on loop and laugh and reblog so many of his antics#it's funny bc when my aunt passed on New Year's in 2019 it was exactly two weeks after the 1st anniversary date rolled around. always has#been but i never noticed until we lost her and we had to go down for the funeral and i basically disappeared off the internet for a good#two to four months sans queue and checking in on Discord and sh*t and that year he managed to keep me sane. sounds f*cked up#but that year it was just me and Spotify and my playlists and Jjong's voice amid it all. i wish i could meet him and tell him in person#that he practically saved my life even tho the fandom was still raw af from losing him but the prayer will have to be enough#you did well Jjong. you worked so hard. you are our pride. love you to the moon and back 🌒🌙 <333
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Forgetting
Jake Seresin x reader
Summary: Jake forgets to pick you up at the airport because of his ex, and for the first time, you think maybe you and Jake aren't mean to be.
Notes/Warnings: Angst, but ends fluffy. Fighting. Cursing. This was a request that I said I'd have done in a couple days and it took me a week and a half. Sorry about that. Also, please be gentle. I haven't written for Jake in what feels like a millennium.
Words: 2700
Jake Seresin Masterlist / Main Masterlist / Tag List
As much as it would kill you to know that he could be hurt, you hope he’s hurt. You hope he’s on his way to the hospital to receive life-saving treatment because if he’s not hurt, if he’s not receiving life-saving treatment, then he simply forgot about you. And that makes your heart want to claw its way out of your chest and scamper across the floor until it’s well out of your range to catch it.
Your call goes to voicemail for the fourth time. You send your twelfth text: I hope you’re ok. I landed an hour ago. Please call me. Nothing different than the eleven other messages that have gone unanswered. Forty-five more minutes pass of you sitting on a bench by the airport exit before you finally surrender your last shred of hope and call Bradley to come save you.
Within the hour, you’re sighing in relief, the sight of a friendly face almost bringing you to tears. He approaches you with open arms and you fall right into the embrace, comforted by the hug that should be in your boyfriend’s arms, and the warmth that should be from your boyfriend’s body, and the forehead kiss that should be from your boyfriend’s lips.
“Please tell me he’s ok,” you say against your friend’s chest.
A heavy palm rubs up and down your back. “No one could get ahold of him.”
Your head jerks back so you can meet his eyes. “Oh my god!”
“I’m sure he’s fine, kid. Don’t worry.”
“How can you say that? He was supposed to be here and he’s not and–” You pause when Bradley looks away from you, and a hefty stone settles in your gut. You know your friend well. He’s a good man, honest but sensitive, and when that honestly meets that sensitivity, it results in his inability to look someone in the eye if he thinks the truth might hurt them. You’ve seen it a hundred times, but never with you.
Your posture wavers with your lengthy exhale. “What aren’t you telling me?”
Another great thing about Bradley: he doesn’t make you play any games. You don’t have to jump through hoops. You don’t have to ask the right questions in the right way in order to get what you need out of him, unlike many men, your boyfriend included, who recently has found ways to skitter around telling the full truth.
“Javy said he saw him a couple of hours ago,” Bradley says.
Your back teeth clench. Your mind shoots to one conclusion. “With her?” you ask. Bradley’s eyes drift from yours again and you nod, a tear at the ready to leak down your cheek. “He forgot about me because he’s with her.”
“We don’t know that for sure, and–”
Your hand scrubbing down your face cuts him off. Your fingers pinch the bridge of your nose before you suck in your whimper and say, “Rooster, why did he even ask me to come here?”
“Because he…I mean, we thought he–”
“You thought he gave a fuck about me.”
“He does,” Bradley says, stressing his words in an attempt to reassure you. “He never shuts up about you.”
“Sure,” you say. “He gives so much of a fuck that he forgot about me to be with his ex. How can you explain that?”
Rooster sighs. His hands slip into his jeans pockets just to have something to do with them. “I can’t.”
“Exactly.”
No one can explain it. Not you, not Bradley, not Jake. Everyone you know back home would be telling you to run for the hills right now. They were already wary of this ‘Navy guy’ that they’d only met twice around the holidays, who lives a decent distance away from your entire life and who constantly requests that you be the one to hop on a plane rather than the other way around.
For the duration of your time together, you’ve been understanding of that sacrifice. You know his schedule doesn’t allow impromptu trips out of state, but that hasn’t made it any less exhausting for you. And maybe that’s a sign. Another sign. A nail in the coffin. Maybe you and Jake aren’t meant to be. And why would you be? You met him on a brief vacation to visit a friend who doesn’t even live in the same town anymore, and somehow, during those few days, he convinced you to take a chance on him. So you took the leap. But being that bold doesn’t guarantee you won’t fall flat on your face, and you think that’s exactly what’s happening. You’ve tripped over a guy only to realize he doesn’t care about you to the same degree that you care about him.
However, you’re not the type to avoid confrontation. If Jake Seresin is going to mistreat you because of his ex, then he is going to do it to your face. He’s going to look you in the eye when he shows himself to be the liar he is. It may hurt more to go to him rather than get on the next plane home without so much as taking in a breath of fresh Californian air, but you’re too upset to let that thought fully develop, and a moment later, Rooster is following your stomps out the door.
—
You find him at the Hard Deck, standing at a hightop with a beer glass in his hand that clinks against the one in his ex’s before he takes a sip. Bradley’s comforting hand lands on your back in solidarity. You only met him because of Jake, but the two of you bonded despite their differences, and having him by your side now makes him nothing short of a life-saver.
He helps guide you through the crowd to the table, and when Jake spots you, he chokes around the liquid going down his throat. His blown-out emerald eyes rival saucers and his mouth gapes like a fish, but then his stare flicks to Bradley, and those eyes shrink into narrow slits. His face heats to a boiling red.
“What the fuck!” Jake snaps, shocking the composure right out of his ex’s poised stance. Bar patrons close by turn their heads but quickly return to their own conversations. Jake steps away from the table, coming to a halt in front of you and his squadmate. “What the hell is this?”
You figured he’d be bothered if you showed up with Bradley in tow. And good, that’s what you feel he deserves. Jake’s been wary of the other Dagger’s closeness to you for a while, and even though you know—as does Bradley—that it’s an asinine concern, you have no problem using it against him now. But still, the intensity of his reaction manages to surprise you. You didn’t think he would be this angered by the sight of you with another man that it would have him overlooking his mistake of forgetting you.
Your arms cross. “This is your girlfriend and the guy who saved her when her damn boyfriend left her stranded at the airport.”
“Excuse me?”
Jake’s ex’s prying gaze tugs at your attention, but when you glance over his shoulder to catch her in the act, she quickly looks away—just more proof that whatever the fuck she’s doing with your boyfriend is something to be ashamed of.
Bradley’s saying something. You can’t quite hear him over the anger-induced fuzzing in your ears, but you’re pretty sure it’s a scolding based on the twisting of Jake’s features as he shoots back his own words of aggression. And then your hand is in his and you’re being pulled through the bar, out the back door, and onto the deck where the only intrusive sound is the lapping of waves on the shore.
“Why are you here?” he asks.
You scoff to mask the heartbreak that comes with that question. “Because you asked me to be here.”
“Tomorrow.”
“What?”
“It’s Wednesday,” he says.
“It’s Thursday, Jake.”
“No, it’s—” he freezes, and you don’t know if he’s tipsy or stupid, but it takes him a minute to come to the same conclusion: it is indeed Thursday. “Fuck,” he mutters.
Your lower back meets the edge of the railing, and you sigh, thankfully keeping in the tears. “What are you doing with her?”
“What the fuck are you doing with Rooster?” he returns much more forcefully. “Why didn’t you call me?”
“I called, I texted, I left voicemails,” you tell him, “But clearly, she was more important.”
Jake’s hands pat down his pockets, mouth setting in a frown when he can’t find his phone.
“Don’t bother. Phone or no phone, you forgot about me because of her. Last time I was here, you were late for one of our dates because of her. You spent fifty percent of our time together stepping away to take her phone calls,” you say, trying and failing to avoid the bitter taste on your tongue. “Just fuck her, Jake, if you haven’t already. I only came here to tell you that she can have you.”
You’ve never seen him fall apart the way he does. You’ve never seen the blood drain from his cocky face. You’ve never seen his features break and crack and contort into the vision of pure devastation as they do. His parted mouth must’ve gone dry because his next words come out slightly hoarse.
“You don’t mean that,” he says, but it’s more of a plea than anything. “Why…Why would you–” He swallows. A wrinkle forms between his brows and he shakes his head. “You love me. You didn’t mean to say that.”
You do love him—terribly so—but you’re willing to be one of those people who won’t view love as enough if it also means laying you out as a fool. “Jake–”
“Take it back,” he says. His steps are quick, and then you’re trapped where you stand, his hands on either side of your body, gripping the rail. Eyes drill into yours, and for a second, you feel a pang of guilt. “Please, baby, take it back. She doesn’t mean anything to me.”
“And I mean less.”
“No!” he says. “That’s not true. You’re everything, ok? You mean everything to me. She was just helping me, that’s all.”
“Helping you,” you mimic with a roll of your eyes. “Helping you what? Get off?”
With a little whine, Jake’s head drops between his shoulders, his blond hair brushing your collarbone. “Please. Please quit saying things like that.” His hands slide closer to your body and land on your hips. You don’t push him away—you can't—and his touch softens you ever so slightly.
“Then tell me the truth,” you say. “Right now. I’m giving you one shot.”
His head snaps up. His eyes flick back and forth between yours, ironically searching for your honesty, as if you’re the liar on trial here.
“It was a surprise,” he tells you. “She’s a realtor now, and for the last few months she’s been helping me find a new place, one that’s bigger than what I’ve got because I was going to ask you to move in with me.” Your heartbeat stutters. A layer of goosebumps coats your arms. When you don’t respond, he continues, “I hate missing you. I hate how unfair it is that you’re always the one to come here because I can’t fly out at the drop of a hat. I know it’s a big step, but I figured if I had a place, I could show you how great things could be. That’s why she and I came here. We were celebrating because I’m signing on a house first thing tomorrow,” he says. “Well, that’s why I’m celebrating, anyway. She’s probably celebrating because she just made a decent commission.”
It’s almost unfair how that new information doesn’t make you feel any less of a fool. Had he told you that under any other circumstances, you’d be leaping into his arms, kissing him like you’ve been deprived of him for years, repeating ‘yes’ over and over between those kisses, but you can’t. You can’t because his explanation doesn’t fix everything.
“That still doesn’t change that it’s Thursday, not Wednesday,” you say.
“I know, baby. That’s my fault. I was so excited, and I was thinking how perfect the timing was that I would be able to pick you up tomorrow and drive you by the house now that it’s officially mine, but I fucked it up.”
Jake’s thumbs press into your hips, and you’re instantly reminded of each moment in your relationship when you’ve felt that same light pressure on your skin. A gentle claiming. The same pressure you felt when you agreed to be his girlfriend. The same pressure you feel whenever you’re in bed together.
You sense eyes on you other than your boyfriend’s, and when you turn your head, you find his ex staring right at you, an expression on her face that you wish you could say wasn’t one of distress, but it is. And worse, it’s obviously not distress for herself, but for Jake, as if she’s hoping she wasn’t just a contributor to a bomb dropping on his life.
Jake’s busy staring at you despite your averted gaze, and in a monotone voice, you say, “She feels bad.”
He doesn’t follow your eyes. “Because she knows I’ve been doing this all for you.”
You blink. Your hand runs down your face before sifting through the strands of your hair. “You really want me to live with you?”
“Of course I do,” he tells you. He’s shaking his head, but you know it’s because he thinks any idea that he wouldn’t want you to be blasphemous. His hand cups your chin. “I love you.”
With a sigh, you push aside the rollercoaster of emotions, the misunderstandings that lead to frustration and hurt, and look him directly in the eye. And where moments ago you thought you saw lies, you see honestly. Where you thought you saw betrayal, you see love.
“Can I see it?”
—
It’s small—a two-bedroom with a little driveway, the shingle siding painted a blue-gray shade that is more blue than gray; bundles of flowers bloom in the boxes under the windows; a bay window protrudes from the side of the structure facing the beach. And it’s perfect.
You can imagine building a life here. You can picture a dog that you’ll have to build a fence for and children years later that will have you reinforcing the fence because they’ll probably be like their father, and Jake didn’t choose to be a pilot because of his lack of adventurous nature. You look at this house and you can see the core of a family. A house that, no matter how far you go for Jake’s job, will always be home base.
Jake is leaning around you so you can both watch the house from the passenger seat window. “I’d offer to show you around, but I don’t get the keys until morning.”
“It’s ok,” you tell him. “I don’t need to see inside.”
When you say that, he falls back into his seat. The back of his head presses against the headrest. His fingers squeeze the steering wheel with his sigh of defeat. “You don’t like it.”
Shifting your body to face him, you say, “Jake, I love it.”
Just like that, his eyes brighten like a pouting child who was just offered a lollipop, and you can’t help but chuckle. You can’t help but forget everything that happened earlier in the night, all of it seeming so insignificant now, even though you know it’s not, and you both know that if he ever makes the same mistake again, he’ll have hell to pay. But something tells you that won’t be a problem.
“Enough to live with me?” he asks.
You nod. “Enough to live with you.”
---
A/N: Thanks for reading! Comments make my entire world, so if you liked it, let me know? Thanks :)
#jake seresin#jake seresin x reader#jake hangman seresin#jake seresin fic#glen powell#top gun maverick#tgm#bradley bradshaw
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shining light.
tags: spencer reid x fem!reader. dad!spencer reid. reader goes into early labor. childbirth complications, but nothing explicit or detailed. GIRL DAD SPENCER REID! a/n: girl dad spencer reid brain rot. im so consumed by thoughts of him that i havent edited this yet (i havent edited kiss kiss and wonderstruck yet either lol) i hope u like this as much as i liked writing it :) masterlist. requests are open !
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“Hello?”
“Hello, are you okay?”
“My mommy is in a lot of hurt,” a child sniffles from the other side of the line, “And dadda is away at work.”
“Oh, honey. How did your mommy get hurt?”
“She was in the ki-chen and I was reading. And then I think she fell.”
“Is your mommy with you? Is she awake?”
“Yeah. But mommy is crying,” the little girl’s voice turns faint, like she’s speaking away from the phone, “Mommy! Are you okay? Is bubba okay?!”
There’s an indistinct voice that answers back.
“Honey? Are you there? What’s your name?”
“I’m Ellie Reid. My dadda is Spencer. He works with aunt Penny and aunt JJ at ‘quanico’ to catch bad guys.”
“Okay, Ellie. Who’s bubba?”
“The bubba in mommy’s tummy?”
“Your mommy has a baby in her tummy?”
“It’s a baby sister.”
“Oh, that sounds wonderful, Ellie.”
“Are you on your way now?” the sweet voice asks.
“Yes, Ellie. The paramedics are at your door. Can you let them in?”
“Okay.”
Spencer rushes through the hallway, JJ and Emily just a few steps behind him. As soon as the plane landed, an agent alerted the unit to a 911 call made by Spencer’s daughter. Words unneeded, Derek got into an SUV, immediately and silently offering to drive Spencer to the hospital. JJ and Emily got into the SUV with him, worry filling the blonde, though Spencer doesn’t have the mind to think about the others. His mind is solely focused on you.
Are you in pain? All he knew was that Ellie was the one to call for help. Said you fell in the kitchen. Were you hurt? Was your baby hurt?
“Spencer!” Penelope was waiting for him as he turns a corner.
“Where is she? Is she okay?”
“Mommy’s okay, dadda.” Ellie peeps up from behind Penelope’s skirts.
“Oh, my angel,” Spencer falls to his knees, arms opening to take his daughter in his arms. “You did so well. You remembered the emergency number, huh?”
“You said to press 911 in our phone if anything bad happens. Mommy got a big hurt.”
“I know. You were so good,” he presses a kiss on her soft, curly hair. His hands are rubbing up and down Ellie’s back. Whether he was soothing his daughter or himself didn’t matter.
“She’s in labor. Her contractions were bad bad. A nurse told me that the baby’s breeched.”
“Dadda, what does breech mean?” Ellie’s r’s still sounded like w’s, and Spencer’s heart completely melted.
He looks down at the little girl in his arms, her face still hidden against his chest.
“Do you remember the photo we showed you of bubba?”
“The weird black and white one?”
“Yeah,” he passes a hand against her hair, “A breech means that bubba’s standing up inside mommy’s belly. Not upside down how she’s supposed to be.”
“She’s so silly,” Ellie giggles. Spencer smiles back, he hears soft laughter from the three women surrounding them, “Yeah, bubba’s really silly.”
“Did she hurt mommy?”
“No, angel. She didn’t mean to.”
“Oh,” Ellie whispers. She looks up at her dad, “I knew you were gonna come.”
“Yeah? You did?”
“You’re a hero, of course you’re gonna save mommy when she’s hurt.”
Spencer wipes his thumb against his daughter’s soft cheek, “Of course. I’ll save you when you’re hurt too, Ellie-darling.”
“I know that,” she says matter-of-factly.
A nurse walks up to their group, “Are you the family of Y/N Reid?”
Spencer stands with Ellie on his hip, her little arms wrapped around his neck.
“Yes, I’m her husband.”
“Congratulations, sir. You have a healthy baby girl,” he feels the sigh of relief from everyone with him.
“How’s my wife?”
“How’s mommy?”
Spencer and Ellie were almost simultaneous in their concern for you.
“She’s fine. She’s sedated. The birth took a huge toll on her. You can enter her room, if you want.”
Derek finally arrives. He’s catching his breath from his run, his eyes meeting Spencer’s quickly before he exclaims, “Ellie-bean!”
“Uncle Derek!” Ellie wriggles in Spencer’s arms, he bends down to let her down.
Short legs run to her favorite uncle.
“We’re going to mommy and bubba now!”
Derek stands with Ellie in his arms. He looks to Spencer. “Yeah? Y/N’s okay?”
“We can visit her now,” JJ says with a small smile.
The group starts walking. On their way from the visitor’s lounge to your hospital room, Spencer overhears Ellie’s whispering; “Uncle Derek.”
“Yeah, Ellie-bean?” Derek whispers back.
“I want pretzels.”
“Salted? Cheese?”
“Um, salted. Please. And apple juice too.”
Spencer can’t fight the grin on his face.
“Alright, Ellie-bean. We’ll get pretzels and juice after we see your mom.”
“Promise?”
“I promise,” Derek shifts to bring Ellie higher against his hip.
“Pinky promise?”
“I pinky promise. On my badge and credentials.”
Ellie lets out a giggle, “Dadda!”
Spencer turns his head to give her a smile, “What’s up, angel?”
“What does cre-den-shals mean?”
Oh, his Eleanor. Always so bright.
taglist: @i-live-in-spite
#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid imagines#spencer reid scenario#down bad thoughts
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if you keep asking | s.r
pairing: spencer reid x fem!bau!reader
a/n: this was requested with “if you keep asking me i’m not gonna be okay” or smth along the lines 😭 i am a glutton for hurt/comfort fics so if yall have any more requests send em in :)
summary: in which you’re trying to keep it together when you hear some detectives talking ill of you, and spencer isn’t gonna have it
cw: hurt/comfort, self deprecation, insecure!reader, bitch ass detectives, protective bau my heart, use of she/her pronouns
wc: 2.2k
_______
the bau team was filing into the bullpen after landing from their last case in seattle, everyone making a beeline for their desks to get a head start on their reports so they could go home faster. everyone, except you. it felt like you were on autopilot, remembering your last known movements and just repeating them for as long as you could.
the case in seattle was rough to say the least. the unsub’s mo seemed to change every minute, making any progress the team made obsolete. the only thing that seemed to be somewhat consistent was where the unsub was taking his victims, which meant the geographical profile was the most important part to solving the case, a task you and reid were assigned to.
it started off fine, you both had found the comfort zone of where the unsub would strike next to figure out how to catch him in the act. except the next time he struck it was completely out of the predicted range, and this time a kid had died. no one could have anticipated that happening. it didn’t make the loss hurt any less.
the team knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault, humans are unpredictable, and that includes serial killers. spencer made sure to tell you specifically that it wasn’t your fault, he knew how you’d get if someone didn’t tell you.
his efforts went to utter waste when you walked by a room at the precinct with detectives whispering about how “you fucked up the whole profile, that’s why that kid died” and “it’s clear you make the team stupider, how did you even get into the fbi in the first place?”
it wasn’t the first time your abilities were in question. you were the newest member of the team, having only transferred six months ago from cold cases. you may be new to the field, but there was a reason hotch chose you personally for the bau.
you tried hard to prove yourself, despite pretty much everyone saying your skillset was enough proof. you’d stay late to finish reports, do extra research on cases to help garcia narrow her searches faster, and you spent countless hours at the training range.
you were a worthy agent, anyone who knew you or read your resume knew that. but right now, you felt like the smallest person on earth, an imposter. what the hell were you even doing here if you couldn’t save him.
you shouldn’t be allowed to feel relief that the team caught the unsub, not when there’s blood on your hands.
the bad thoughts swirling in your head causes you to stall your motions when you’re putting files away, gaining the attention of morgan, “you alright, sweet cheeks?”
“i’m good morgan, don’t worry.” you lie effortlessly. if he can tell you’re lying, he doesn’t mention it and turns back to his work.
taking a deep breath, you stand up to go to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, when you run into jj finishing up making her own, “i was just thinking about you, i got this new creamer i think you’d rea-, hey, are you okay?” jj starts but ends concerned.
you try to focus on metronomic tick of the clock so you dont escalate, “i’m fine j,” you laugh unconvincingly, “what creamer did you get?”
she ignores your question, “because i know that was a tough case, and if you need to talk about it with someo-“
“jj, drop it, please.”
the blonde’s face drops a little at your sternness, but respects your space and offers you to try the creamer before returning to her desk. you feel bad for snapping at her, but the growing guilt within you is giving you apathy, and you can’t bring yourself to care at this moment.
you linger in the kitchen so as to avoid any more concerned faces, and you’re left to your own devices that are slowly overtaking you.
unbeknownst to you, spencer had been watching you since you all landed back in quantico. he kept his distance, mostly because he knew how overwhelmed you get at confrontation, especially about your emotions. he was the same way, a man of logic getting befuddled by emotion was enough cognitive dissonance to last a long time.
he knew it was different with you. you had a way of internalizing everything in your surrounding, a downfall to your endless empathy for others even if they never deserve it. he could explain the logic behind your beliefs, and hopefully use facts to help you relax, but that was the other thing he knew about you; you were stubborn. asking for help is something you hated doing, and if it wasn’t on your accord to be asking, it was even more detrimental to your mood.
so when he watched you duck out from the kitchen and push past the glass doors of the bullpen, he knew you were reaching the head of your doom spiral quickly.
spencer got up from his desk, “i’m gonna go check on her.”
jj nodded, “just be mindful spence, something feels different.”
they’d all been on cases that hit a little too close to home, how could they not when all they do is rid the world of the evilest of evildoers. but after a good cry, a rant to a teammate, or even an emergency therapy session, even the worst of the scum could be washed away.
something about the way you’ve been acting since they landed seemed like those fixits aren’t going to work this time.
he let out a sigh in response and walked out of the bullpen, realizing he didn’t actually know which direction you went in. assuming you’d want to be alone, he thinks the bathroom might’ve been a viable option for you and heads towards it.
the nice thing about the seventh floor is that it’s only for the bau, the bullpen was where the team spent most of their time but outside the doors there were so many empty rooms being used for storage.
so as spencer walked towards the bathroom in the hopes of finding you, his ears pick up on a tiny sniffle a little ways before it. he stops in his tracks, hoping he was just hearing things. but another pained sob rang through the door on his left, and he knew he’d found you.
he rapps the door a few times, softly calling your name, “hey, it’s spencer…can i come in please?”
you were on the other side sitting at one of the abandoned desks with your head down, but shot up at hearing spencer’s voice, “i- i’m fine i just needed a minute. i’ll be back in like two minutes, i promise.” you angrily wipe at the tears pooling on your face, grateful that you took your makeup off in the plane.
“honey, that’s not what i asked,” he starts, “is it okay if i come in?
your heart clenches at the term of endearment as you stare at the door knowing he was waiting for your okay to come in, and you start to internally weigh your options. you could let him in, and let him in to do whatever comforting you know logically would help. or you could lie, and feign ignorance to the end.
don’t they say ignorance is bliss?
you make sure to wipe the last of your tears and your runny nose before practicing a few fake smiles so it didn’t look like your face was frozen in sadness for the last thirty minutes. turning the knob you swing the door open, borderline creepy smile on your face as you greet the man, “hi dr. reid! was there something you were looking for?”
he furrows his brows at your complete (fake) shift in mood, but he comes in and shuts the door behind him, and moves to stand a few feet from you, “what’s going on?”
“nothing spence, i’m fine.” you insist.
spencer thinks if you could be more see through you’d be a windexed window. you’re avoiding eye contact with him, picking at the skin of your thumb, he can see your nose is red most likely from all the tissue blowing, and your eyes are still puffy and lined with some unshed tears still. you are so clearly breaking at the seams, like an old childhood teddy bear with stuffing falling out the sides yet hoping you can offer some semblance of stability despite your state.
“you don’t look fine, honey. why won’t you tell me what’s bothering you?”
his words almost make you falter, and you think the walls you built so high are starting to chip down. “it’s not a big deal spence, i-,” a hiccuped breath gives you away, “i can deal with it on my own.”
spencer instinctively shortens the gap between you two, “you shouldn’t have to. i just wanna help you.”
“but i’m oka-“
“no you’re not.”
there is only one tiny thin thread left holding you together. “well,” you take a deep inhale and your voice gets impossibly small, “if you keep saying things like to me i’m not gonna be okay.”
“that’s why i’m here.” he says softly.
you look up at him with the biggest glassy doe eyed look he’s ever seen, and it’s like spencer can hear the snap of the thread in real time when he watches your face absolutely crumble. he doesn’t hesitate to pull you into his embrace, allowing him to hold your head down in the middle of his chest while his other hand smooths up and down your back in comfort.
“i know, shh, hey it’s okay, i got you.” he comforts.
your hands wrap around his waist beneath his suit jacket and you keep your face buried in his chest, inhaling the musky vanilla scent of his cologne mixed with the fresh laundry detergent smell letting it ground you back to him.
“i’m sorry.” you cry.
“don’t say that,” he hushes, “is it about the case?” you nod in his embrace, “we talked about it remember? there was nothing we could have done. we did everything right, sometimes it just doesn’t work out, you know that.” he moves his hand to tangle in your hair and rub your head.
“i- i know,” you say through labored breaths. you take a big breath before admitting the true reason for your anguish, “when we were about to leave, i walked by a room with some detectives talking about how i ruined the case and that…i’m the reason the kid died.”
“what?” he pulls back to look you in the eyes hoping to find any indication that you didn’t believe those poisoned words, “we both worked on that geographical profile together, the whole team agreed it was accurate and acted accordingly. what happened was not your fault. at all.” he emphasizes the last two words.
“yeah but…i don’t know maybe i could ha-“
“stop. you can’t do that to yourself. we did what we could with what we had, the burden of that child’s passing does not fall on you. we were only able to find the unsub’s hiding spot when you figured out he’d been going to the same gas station since the murders started.” he reinforced to you.
“they said that they didn’t know how i even got into the academy in the first place, and that i make the team stupider.” you quietly added.
spencer felt the rage consume his body, already planning the ways he was going to obliterate seattle pd. he cradled your head to look at him in the eyes, “listen to me. you are an important asset to this team. you make this team better at what they do, you make me better at what i do. you mean so much to me and the team okay? please don’t forget that.”
he swipes at a fallen tear on your cheek as you tell him between sniffles, “thanks spence…” you hope he understands the sentiment and love you’re trying to exude to him, even thought you’re unable to vocalize it.
“you gotta tell me if something like that happens,” he softly scolds you, “i’ll make sure they lose their fucking jobs.”
you’re about to speak when he cuts you off, “and don’t tell me that we should be the bigger people, because once the rest of the team hears about this, they’re all gonna be fighting over who’s gonna kick the shit out of them.”
you let out a tearful giggle, “you sound really funny when you curse.”
he scoffs, “what the hell, i do not!”
“you sound like a baby duckling that just learned how to say fuck.”
he starts to guide you out of the room and towards hotch’s office so you can recount what happened, “ouch, i’m hurt. i’d like to think the pistol and fbi badge i carry makes me intimidating.”
you giggle again, and spencer puts aside his rage to revel in the fact that you’re feeling better.
when hotch learned of what happened he immediately called seattle pd to file a motion to get those detectives fired, and the rest of the team were secretly praying for a case in seattle again so they could, as spencer predicted, kick the shit out of them.
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid hurt/comfort#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid one shot#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid headcanon#dr spencer reid#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fanfiction
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The (Un)Expected - S.R.
Type: one-shot, soulmate AU, good ol' meet-cute (soulmates meeting for the first time prompt)
Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word Count: 8k
Summary:
A soulmark shows the first words your soulmate will speak to you. A soulmark tells you there is the person for you out there. A soulmark tells you what to expect.
For that, Steve’s is a source of comfort and anxiety to him. You always had a complicated relationship with yours.
But maybe they will teach you a lesson in the end – that the only thing one should really expect, is the unexpected.
Warnings: brief angst, mention of cancer (not reader), canon-typical violence, mention of death (no major character), blood and injuries, language, FLUFF so take it easy on sugar before reading
A/N: written for the Community Revival Extravaganza hosted by the wonderful @stargazingfangirl18 and @labella420 . Thank you both so much for hosting and stirring life in the fandom! I loved seeing the traffic and positivity on my dash - you're doing god's work 💕
A/N 2: DIVIDER by @firefly-graphics; enjoy y'all 🥰
Steve Rogers was a sickly child.
He spent too much time to his liking in his bed – and even more time outside of it despite feeling sick for he couldn’t bear resting anymore, craving to explore the world instead – and was sneaked into a doctor’s office by his mother quite often as well. She only got him in as a favour, courtesy of her own good name – a nurse working double shifts and lending a helping hand wherever she could, a single mother working herself to a bone to take care of and set example to her only son.
A single mother, a nurse, a good person – a beautiful soul. She left this world too soon, but she left an imprint on Steve’s heart larger than any other person, perhaps besides Bucky, ever could.
All that told him, even as indirectly, that his soulmate would be one special dame. She would be kind, she would be brilliant and for that alone, he knew she would be beautiful.
Steve knew that as soon as he could read, as soon as he could decipher the words on his skinny forearm.
In a world where first words your soulmate would tell you were laced into your skin for you and your soulmate’s eyes to see only, his words told him his soulmate was a little miracle.
'I’m not a doctor yet.'
Steve had spent a fair amount of time around nurses and doctors to know that all nurses were women and the overwhelming majority of doctors were men – by the time he was ten, barely a few women were allowed to attend medical schools, let alone graduate. But you, you would be on your way to reach that. Brilliant. Driven. Desiring to help people, to heal.
It was only when other children, other guys and girls alike, began laughing at him for being too little, too weak, too bony, when his heart began to ache for a different reason than illness. If you were to be all these amazing things he had dreamed of, what were you to do with a sickly fella like him? With your words to him being these, it was a fair assumption to make that you would meet due to his health issues, perhaps a smart dame taken under a more experienced doctor’s wing during your studies. How disappointed you would be when your soulmate, the one person meant for you and chosen by destiny itself, would be… that?
That upsetting idea haunted him, hurting more than the bruises that had formed under fists of bullies Steve kept trying to save those even weaker than him from, more than stick and stones and words alike.
Then again… there was a little silver of hope in his heart, a little shy voice in his head. If you were to be his true love, then certainly you’d accept him, yes? If he tried, if he tried hard enough to be a good man, the best possible version of himself, if he worked hard to protect and feed his future family, set a good example for your future children as his mother had, worked towards making a better world, you’d accept him? If he could live with not being as great as others but never stopped trying, you would respect him and perhaps even loved him for what he was?
Then, of course, war came and those thoughts were pushed aside.
Then, he grabbed at his chance to fight that war, to do his part, to help – and incidentally, he also earned his chance to literally grow. Healthy. Strong. More worthy; but remaining good, because that was the one part of him he wanted to hold on to no matter what, that one part he would wish his love, wherever she was, would love him for, even if he suddenly shrank back into the back of skin and bones he used to be.
Then, he lost his best friend Turned into a failure.
And then… then he died.
One of his last thoughts were of you, a beautiful woman with vague appearance but strikingly kind heart and sharp mind. He prayed you’d get a new soulmate somehow, even as those cases weren’t heard of. He prayed you’d live a happy healthy life without him, at least as good as he would have tried his best to give you, to build with you, even as his own heart was breaking to pieces, regret veiling his body as water and snow and icy wind would, regret for missing his chance to meet the most special person in his world.
When he closed his eyes and still saw the white of ice and the blue of the deep sea, he’d swear he saw your face, crystal clear, for the first time – and the last time – in his life.
Seeing you, a stunning mirage, his last thought was that you were an angel gently leading him into afterlife.
When he woke up to a new millennium, one of the first things he did was checking his forearm; he words still sat there, taunting, mocking and heartbreaking, another screaming reminder of him not belonging here.
As years passed by, the sense of alienation subdued. Steve Rogers learned to belong, even as a piece of his heart was missing, longing for the past life – and the life he had never got to have – always humming in his chest quietly.
The mark on his forearm remained, a sad memento to a soulmate he had never met, turning him into a martyr.
But many people had rejected the idea of soulmates in this time, rebelling against their so-called fate, taking off on a path of searching love on their own. Steve learned they did so for various reasons – a sense of adventure before they’d truly find their one true love, a quest to choose the fortune and love on their own terms, a fuck-you to the universe when their soulmate turned out to be less than they imagined and hoped.
His own reasons, as he reluctantly started to look for a person to share his life with, were rather unique, but no one looked at him through their fingers for that. If anything, those who cared about him encouraged him, wishing for his happiness.
It was only when he got Bucky back – one of his greatest regrets not erased, not lessened since Bucky had endured unimaginable pain, but transformed, a piece of Steve’s past brought back to life – that he began to wonder about the almost blasphemous thought he had forbid himself from entertaining when he had been first brought back to life from ice.
Were you still there somewhere?
And then, a shier thought:
Is there still a chance for me to find my true soulmate?
And then, the shiest one of them all:
Is there a chance for me to find happiness with you?
When he had thought of that before, he was certain that since you were still alive – he had read reports of people claiming their soulmark changed colours if their loved one died – he had thought of you as an old lady who had hopefully lived her life as he had genuinely wished for her.
But what if fate, that little minx who had taken his best friend for life from him only to give him back, had somehow blessed Steve with a soulmark decades before you were even born? What he hadn’t lost his chance, what if you were still young enough to build a life with him? Was that even possible? There were aliens, flying suits of armour, other realms, downright magical weapons… he had been given a second chance at life. There were things happening Steve would have never thought possible before. So was there a chance…?
The idea of you being a doctor became much more plausible too – in this century, female doctors were a much more common occurrence. That, naturally, did not diminish your brilliance whatsoever, the fundamental idea of who you’d be never changing in Steve’s mind. The image only became less surreal in one way and a whole lot more surreal in another.
For his own sake, he didn’t give in into that hope fully; at least he told himself that despite lying awake at night, a ghost of a woman he had never met lying next to him, radiating non-existent warmth he wished with his whole being he could touch.
He wasn’t chasing after the ghost, didn’t allow himself that – there was no way to do so to his knowledge anyway – for the chances of success were rather slim.
But there was always hope, wasn’t there?
And the longing for love, whether it was in the hands of fate or in his own to find it, remained, built into his very body; etched into his bones, flowing through his veins, laced into his skin beyond the words on his forearm, always humming quietly in his heart.
In the age of information and science, the concept of having your ideal partner for life chosen by some mysterious abstract entity called Fate was literally otherworldly. Alien. Absurd even.
And yet, it still ruled the lives of many.
Which, in all honesty, was almost even more fascinating than the existence of soulmarks itself – the belief people had for them despite being no logic to them at all.
Perhaps it was the little piece of human soul, an inner child people so desperately wanted to cling to for its own beauty and purity, a child who never wanted to stop believing in magic, fate, dragons, mighty knights and kind-hearted ladies, in all things of fairytales and happy-endings the most. Because to a point, that was what soulmarks were – and little fairytale-like book of destiny.
One that not even science seemed capable of beating.
And you should know; you were somewhat of a scientist yourself. And despite how unfathomable the nature of soulmates was, you could not say that you rejected the idea of them, of someone who was born to belong with you, someone you could share your life with, the right partner in the crime of life. Basic bodily needs aside, wasn’t that the most fundamental need of all? To love and be loved; to belong?
Who wouldn’t wish for that reassurance that they could have that, that some strange force of universe itself created a person like that for them? They were the god’s strongest soldiers you supposed; because you were certainly not immune to that tempting comfort.
But you weren’t obsessed – and you prided yourself in the fact. Mostly because the sheer fanaticism of the world over soulmarks, the one thing that kept defying science – besides alien portals, magical blue cubes, demigods walking the Earth and things alike – was dialled up ad absurdum.
There could be billions of dollars poured into research of curing cancer. Cure autoimmune diseases. Helping the homeless. Slowing down global warming. Erasing poverty and famine. Protecting nature, endangered species. Discovering new worlds, exploring space.
But no. Governments poured billions of dollars into researching soulmarks. How was it they existed? How was it you could cut through skin, you could cut off skin and the mark would reappear somewhere else? What was the grand scheme of them? Why was it that only two people who belonged together could see them and the person speaking the words could only see it on their soulmate’s skin after they spoke the words, almost like a fail-safe that couldn’t seem to be broken with any tricks?
It wasn’t a question of physics as far as people knew; they had tried to build sets-up of various optics, thermovision cameras and complex sets of lenses and mirrors, and none of the reports you had ever heard of claimed success. It wasn’t genetic markers either; no one had discovered a sequence of DNA responsible for soulmarks, let alone turned whatever discovery they would have made into a tool of reading anyone’s but their own and their soulmate’s mark. It didn’t seem to be chemistry either; no one had made a groundbreaking discovery or at least they hadn’t informed the scientific or any other community so far.
But by gods, forget the space race. Attempting to be the first one to somehow read everyone’s soulmark and then create an algorithm to monetize it as the one and only soulmate dating app, now that was a competition overflowing with cutthroat madmen. Not to mention the crowds looking to temper with soulmarks, to make another one appear on someone’s body; or worse, to erase the original soulmark and instead design one capable of manipulating the outcome of a soulmate match.
You found the force of that obsession insane – and frankly, all the attempts morally wrong. While dedicated to science and loyal to discovery, you found soulmarks to be something sacred, one of the things that should not be touched by filthy human hands; god knew humanity, while doing a lot of good, had mucked up about just as much.
You were not alone in that belief. There were, in fact, numerous demonstrations against scientists experimenting with soulmarks, people protesting against anyone creating such tool and using it to temper with natural course of things no one fully understood, not for the lack of trying. However – as expected everywhere where politics and money were involved – these protests were in vain.
They were as vain and futile as the research of the marks itself.
As for your own soulmark, you had a rather complicated relationship with it.
On one hand, it gave you a sense of peace – there was someone for you, even as sometimes it did not feel plausible at all. You had time too – because based on those words, you would not meet your soulmate until in your twenties at least. You had plenty of time to become who you were meant to be before a man could turn your life upside down, even as that was not supposed to be what soulmates did, at least not in a bad sense of the word.
On the other hand, it was a ball and chain. You would not find you soulmate sooner than in your twenties and sometimes, you missed them despite not having met yet. When imagining what your meeting could be like based on their first words etched into your skin, you feared they might be a little disappointed – even as you did not let that stop you from pursuing the life you wanted. And despite you wanting to choose the career either way, it felt like someone – be it god, fate or another cosmic entity humanity was yet to discover – had chosen the path for you the moment you had been born if not before.
'Doctor, are you alright?'
Four simple words that couldn’t be more ordinary and yet extraordinary for they represented one of the most meaningful encounters of your life. The source of as much comfort as anxiety.
You couldn’t stand hospitals ever since you were a child. The cold environment reminded you of the strange icy feeling that had settled in your chest over the months you had been visiting your dying father, your naïve eyes watching cancer bite off his energy and smiles first, before it swallowed his whole body and soul. He had been a ghost long before he passed; and in your mind, despite all rationality even years after, that ghost haunted any hospital you visited.
Learning what your soulmark was as a child, you had spent countless nights crying, soul torn into pieces, pushed and pulled between the visceral desire to live up to your soulmark and the crippling nausea at the mere thought of dealing with people drowned in misery caused by any illness in the cold institution they called a hospital.
However, the curious kid you had been, you had fallen in love with science itself.
And that one day at school, when a classmate of yours had brought their father to the class to talk about his job as a doctor, you had burst into tears. You began to sob in the middle of him explaining to third-graders that he was not a medical doctor, but a physicist with a doctorate earning him the degree of a doctor as well. You remembered your teacher leading you outside of class, concerned and absolutely baffled, trying to sooth you helplessly even as you were completely inconsolable – because you did not need consolation.
You were crying the happiest, most relieved tears of your life.
You could still be a ‘doctor’. And you genuinely wanted to be one, not just because of what your soulmark read. You had always wished to help people indirectly, even as you looked back at your life now. Sure, your soulmark could have been adding fuel to your drive when your motivation had been running low, but this was who you desired and was meant to become.
A molecular biologist. A doctor in making. Researching the effects of medicinal drugs with hopes to improve them.
A scientist not researching soulmarks, thank you very much.
And yes, there was the lingering feeling of missing a person you hadn’t even met yet – especially when Doctor Simmons’ face lit up like fluorodeoxyglucose in PET scans whenever she saw Doctor Fitz – but you had other things to focus on. And you had time. There was no pressure.
You were not a doctor yet, after all.
Naturally, just because you dodged the joys and sorrows of being a medical student and later on, a medical doctor, it did not mean that you had it easy. No one working on their doctorate did. But when you decided to pursue your degree and work in research, you signed up for that.
You signed up for a lot of things.
It was a little peculiar for you to be on the SHIELD campus in the science division without a doctorate. It was a known fact that SHIELD only recruited best of the best, this Science ad Technology in particular: you needed at least one doctorate to even walk through the door, which was something you were reminded a lot because you did not meet that requirement and here you were.
But SHELD owned the best equipment and you were fortunate enough to get in by the lovely game of fate, being good and driven enough and having met the right people at the right time. SHIELD Academy’s Science & Tech division had the unique equipment you often needed for your research. Your research was interesting enough for people who had perhaps more power over your little life than fate itself. Stars aligned.
It was no walk in a parc, but you were no fool; jumping after that opportunity after having one too many doors shut into your face was a no-brainer. Even though it meant signing up for a whole extra load of shit.
You signed up to be the weird girl. The privileged girl. Hell, even the stupider than local average girl, because you were only an engineer at this point.
You signed up for being the young girl, even as you had met a few people there who had started younger, having actually earned their first PhD at age 17 or less.
You signed up for mockery and misogyny, for as you were aware the level was blissfully low here compared to other workplaces, especially where science was concerned; in exact science, you observed, more than anywhere you ever heard of, it was customary to keep that one insufferable employee, because they were simply that good at their job, no matter that they had cost the department a few other employees.
You signed up for living on campus with other SHIELD recruits, which meant living in close quarters with other divisions; as a result, some days the whole area seemed to swim in testosterone emitted by the hulking special agents in making from Operations.
But that was okay. You could do it.
There were bright sides too, many of them. Like pursuing your dream career. Being among like-minded people whose brain, to a large point, ran on the same wavelength. Hooking up with a handsome but notbrainless recruit from Operations or Communication here and there, some flings, some relationships, because if you were to wait for the love of your life, you might as well not wither completely. You were only human and you had needs along with your lifegoals.
You more than willingly signed up for working with Agent slash Doctor Jemma Simmons. With her two PhDs and rich experience from the field, she had left the action behind in order to work on her third PhD and help humanity without having her life on the line every day. She was hard-working, with no-nonsense approach and lovely sense of humour with plenty of stories to back it up; she was overall pleasant person to work and be friends with and despite having been through amazing and terrifying experiences other people couldn’t even imagine, she remained surprisingly down-to-Earth.
Sure, she had her quirks like insisting on having a gun at hand at all times and stashing a few small vials of altered Molotov cocktail, a mixture of chemicals which would ignite upon the vial breaking, in one of the nearby cabinets – but you supposed there were worst things to get used to than that in a coworker or a friend. She used to be an active agent after all; in fact, unofficially, she remained one. Much like anyone, you knew that certain habits died hard and being through what she had been – she confessed to you that she once spent months on a nearly deserted ancient planet, among other things – left a mark. If this made her feel safer, you’d take it.
Another great thing about Jemma, Doctor Simmons, was that she was adorably English and was in dedicated relationship with Doctor Fitz who was a Scotsman, so that was the spice of long workdays at times; especially if you agreed to play Scrabble with them and a few friends in the evening.
But there were things you had not signed up for when following the alluring promise of a prestigious spot and unique equipment.
And one of them was a damn Nazi revival group in the form of fucking HYDRA attacking the lab while you were in the peaceful process of waiting for your PCR to finally be finished.
Influx of men in full tactical gear interrupting Jemma updating you the vacation plans, Fiji and all the rare species of fishes that could be observed there when scuba diving.
When you heard the first shouts, breaking of glass and dull echoes of gunshots from afar, your immediate thought was that you had been having a good day and that the experiment had been coming along nicely – and that whatever mess was happening was for sure about to ruin all your progress.
By the time panic settled in, Jemma was practically tackling you down, hand over your mouth to muffle your startled squeak at the sudden movement, her eyes alert and serious, screaming at you to keep quiet.
The sickening shouts of HAIL HYDRA, COOPERATE AND YOU’LL GET HURT LESS was what sent your brain crashing into reality; that and the distant agonized cries of people, coworkers and recruits you knew and met in the hallways every day, following the sounds of gunshots growing in volume and frequency.
You could hear Jemma shuffling next to you further.
You yourself were unable to move beyond stifling a cry behind your suddenly sweaty palm as another female voice wailed in pain.
Blood seemed to freeze in your veins despite your heart thundering in your ribcage and your temples and it helped you shit at all that you were aware that was such thing was literally impossible. By the time Jemma’s hand grabbed yours again and squeezed hard, you realized you were shaking – half in anger, half in paralyzing fear, half in utter shock. It didn’t matter it didn’t add up.
What mattered was the gun in Jemma’s hand. She was holding a gun, ready to shoot, because there were enemy agents, fucking HYDRA burst through the door, guns blazing. And killing people.
You were whispering with exasperation worth of a shout before you knew what you were doing.
“Why?! Why the fuck-“
“Probably the samples they brought in today, precious cargo,” Jemma whispered back frantically, loading the gun and reaching into another cabinet behind her. You only stared at her in utter confusion and mute horror, rapid heavy footsteps approaching and sending your already racing heart into a madness. “Gun or cocktails?”
“I can’t shoot a-!”
Before you could finish, the familiar sound of the sliding door opening and a horrifying echo of tactical boots reached your ears, a set of vials pressed into your palm.
You gulped, pulse thundering in your temples.
Those goddamn Simmons’ cocktails as you named them since she had insisted on keeping around.
You couldn’t believe the moment was here that you were actually grateful for them, even as they seemed to burn in your hand even with the vials themselves intact.
Your eyes snapped to Jemma’s face to question it wordlessly at least, but she wasn’t looking at you; she was listening intently, lying in wake as if she was the predator and not the prey you felt like.
Your own breathing seemed too loud as you allowed yourself to squeeze your eyes shut for but a moment, a desperate attempt to wake up from the nightmare; but the morning didn’t come.
Instead, a gunshot rang in the room, glass shattering somewhere above your head to your right, sending a waterfall of shards flying next to you.
And causing you to cry out in fright.
Which revealed your position to the agents flowing into the lab.
Without a thought you snapped your eyes opened, jumped to your feet and threw two vials in the direction of a black blur with a shockingly clear red patch of the mythical Hydra monster in the middle; peripherally, you saw Jemma attacking as well, deafening noise of gunshot nearly blowing your eardrum.
You crouched back behind the counter so fast you felt vertigo swing you to the left, sharp pain erupting from your palm. It was pure miracle your right hand didn’t clench in instinct and shatter the two remaining vials, setting yourself on fire as well.
As well.
Someone was screaming – a man, you realized – the acid smell of burned flesh and plastic and various chemicals punching your nose and your stomach hard. You had hit someone with the vial. They screamed because of what you had done. You had-
You had no time to feel sorry. You had no time to properly think fucking serves them right.
More steps, more gunshots, movements you weren’t sure how happened or came to you in the first place, flashes of light and crimson and noise and godawful smell--- and pain erupting in the back of your head and suddenly you were barely catching yourself on the counter with your slippery palm--- your fingers brushed metal, knees weak but hands grabbing with all your might, lifting and swinging, a sickening crack on your right before you were falling, landing on your wrist, back hitting the cabinet door and making even more noise as you sent equipment clattering around.
However, the loudest sound was another gunshot; but the strangest sound was unfamiliar whizzing and metal hitting metal and someone most definitely shouting “clear!” that sounded as distant as a whisper over the ringing in your ears.
Instinctively, your head snapped to the voice as you tried to prop up on your hands to see; the world swam in front of your eyes, dizziness forcing you to fall back on your ass and squeeze your eyes shut in hopes to stop the world from spinning, a sting in your palm drawing a hiss from your lips.
You could hear Jemma’s talking to someone, her words blurred into a mumble despite her voice sounding firm and methodical; footsteps, quick and heavy but somewhat soft, accompanied by a brush of air against your skin, making you open your eyes again just as navy blue with speckles of silvery grey glinting in a flickering light filled your vision.
Then, a face; an extremely handsome face even as a helmet made of blue similar to the rest of his suit covered the upper half of it, framing a pair of the dreamiest blue eyes you had ever seen, as beautiful as blurry as a dream indeed.
Somewhere in the back of your brain it started clicking into place – that the man in front of you looked a whole lot like Captain America and he was there to kick HYDRA’s ass; he was hunk and looked righteous and unfairly pretty, the cut of his jaw sharp enough to appear as if sculpted by ancient masters of art and it might be softened by the leather strap holding his helmet in place but that only brought out the sheer beauty of his lips even with a small bloody split on them.
And he was talking to you, his leather-clad hand gently grasping your arm as you involuntarily swayed to side when moving your head to take in the entirety of his large figure.
“Doctor, are you alright?” he asked slowly, velvety voice sweet and heavy with concern at once, the gentle but firm hold on your arm growing stronger when you blinked owlishly, the connection between the meaning of his words and his apparent intention to talk to you slow and fragile.
Your tongue felt as if made of lead even as it tasted of bitterness of adrenalin, but you willed yourself to answer, a knee-jerk reaction more than anything else.
“’mm… not a doctor yet.”
As you responded, you brain began to clear; and it occurred to you that it was a fair assumption for him to make.
You had grown used to clarifying, but hadn’t done so in months, because everyone already knew. However, he was an outsider to this lab and he couldn’t know you were the exception to the local rule. And you were wearing a lab coat, one that now had to be covered in mixture of chemicals you did not wish to identify, but perhaps you should try, because your forearm was beginning to burn.
The beautiful man kneeling in front of you silently observed you for what seemed like an eternity and half, surprise written all over his face. You couldn’t blame him; you were the weirdo of the lab. The fact the person who had purposely stacked explosives at hand was less of an anomaly than that was a thing to consider, but your head hurt too much to think about that and your heart was still beating unhealthily fast and his error seemed so insignificant in the grand scheme of things of HYDRA having attacked your lab and Captain America being right in front of you, holding onto your arm.
His soft baffled smile as he hung his head and shook it a bit with a breathless chuckle, and then lifted his downright shining gaze back to you, well that certainly made for a spectacular distraction from such unimportant thoughts.
Did his thumb just brush your arm as he still held you up a bit?
And had anyone ever told him he had a stunning smile that could melt hearts even if it was barely there and it was certainly melting yours?
“Apologies, miss. I’m going to help you get to medical, alright?” he suggested, those damn gorgeous eyes roaming your face with what almost seemed like wonder, even as his voice sounded all kinds of reassuring. “You’re safe now, I promise.”
Safe. You were safe. Because there had been HYDRA agents, but Captain America and actual SHIELD operatives had come to the rescue. And because Jemma was-
Jemma. Your straightened, dull ache pounding in your back as you did so, vision clearing a fraction with the sudden realization that you couldn’t hear your friend anymore. Your friend whom you owed your life very likely, but even if you didn’t, you would have-
You craned your neck over Captain America’s impressive frame, head snapping from left to right, nausea rising with the movement, but that didn’t matter, you had to-
You turned your alarmed gaze back to the man who was still holding you, an urgent question on your lips.
“Jemma? Is she--- Doctor Simmons, brunet, lab coat-“ you paused, realizing bitterly that you had just described half of the Science and Technology. “Female. She’s a doctor and an agent too, she was with me had a gu-“
A warm squeeze on your arm, the concern which had grown even more evident on Captain’s face melting away and giving way to a soothing smile.
“She’s alright. She’s already left to be checked up and to give her statement.”
Your shoulders sagged, your head dropping a bit; the violent vertigo that seized your body at that was not pleasant and you tried to blink it away, gaze catching the reflection of the still-blinking fluorescent lamp on the Captain’s shield.
Oh. That was probably what had made the whizzing sound before. As your brain conjured an image of that, a spinning shield flying through the air, you cursed yourself mentally for letting your mind even go there since you had already felt like you were the flying piece of metal and the thing you’d hit eventually would be the floor.
“My head is spinning,” you muttered absently as you attempted to refocus your gaze, praying to gods of religion and science alike you wouldn’t throw up on the poor caring man.
Why was he still sitting here with you? Surely there were much more important things to tend to than one little post-grad? How was he so kind and gentle? Wasn’t he known for inspiring speeches in a deep serious voice and for beating up villains with both his physical strength and brains?
So many questions and no answer in those pretty blue eyes.
In fact, the number of your questions grew exponentially when the hand on your arm released the pressure and gently rubbed your elbow instead; his free hand carefully cradled the back of your other hand, the contrast of leather and his warm skin surprisingly sensual, suddenly making you understand why so many regency era literature spoke of hand-holding as indecent even as it was barely Fifty Shades of Grey level of filth.
“I’m sorry to hear that,” Captain Rogers said, snapping you from your thoughts. “Let me help you up and they’ll check you up too, including this nasty cut, okay?”
Huh?
Purposely slowly as not to make the vertigo worse, you glanced at your hand in his, feeling a fresh sting just by looking at your palm, your gaze instantly snapping away.
And falling straight onto two intact vials full of liquid of a distinct colour, lying carelessly about two feet away from Steve Rogers’ tactical boots. Your heart jumped in your chest, your hazy mind finally growing aware of your surroundings.
“Shoot! Careful around those, they’re highly flammable!” you warned him swiftly, his gaze snapping to the vials in question, while ours slowly trailed over the utter, utter messthe lab had become.
The sheer amount of broken glass, spilled chemicals, broken pipettes, torn papers and unidentifiable piles of junk was staggering and it was actually a miracle nothing had exploded yet – and as a cherry on top, a few feet away, a relatively small portable PCR machine, the very equipment you had been using, downright murdered along with your experiment and a smudge of blood around it. Jesus.
“Okay, that’s good to know. More the reason to get out,” Captain Rogers remarked, slight amusement lacing his voice, only growing stronger as he continued. “Keep a lot of these around?”
You could have scoffed, but you didn’t. You have no idea, pal.
“My friend is paranoid…” you explained, still staring at them, even as you mentally added ‘or not’, since those little things might have very well saved your life. As your gaze returned to Captain Rogers, your eyes caught on something else, having you sit up straighter in sheer horror. “Is that a stab wound?!”
You gulped at the sight, even as your uninjured hand instinctively reached out towards it – as if you could fix it. The already dark suit, a lovely navy blue, appeared downright black at left his side, right where it seemed to be singed by a flame.
Had that injury been there the whole damn time he had been sitting here with you, eternally patient with your slowed brain, Simmons’ cocktails lying around in one huge chemical dump in risk of exploding any damn minute?
You logically knew the answer had to be yes, but it made zero sense – and his answer made even less sense.
“Bullet, actually. Some sort of chemical damaged the Kevlar lining and they got a lucky hit. It’s just a graze.”
“A gra-“ you choked on the word, spit stuck in your throat causing you to cough and a groan escape past your lips as the sudden rapid movement sent your head pounding again.
“Hey, you-“
“You’ve been shot and you called my cut nasty?” you questioned through the tears, earning a smile worth giving up a career for – painfully warm, kind and… almost fond.
You truly must have hit your head hard.
…as if it hadn’t been evident before.
“I heal fast. You don’t need to worry about me. I’ll be alright, doc.”
A knee-jerk reaction – again. What was it with him? Had he hit his head, forgetting you had already explained – you had, you hadn’t imagined that, right? – and now he called you a doctor again, turned into a familiar nickname, no less.
“I’m not a doct---- holy shit.”
It slammed into you like a train, struck you like a lightning, even as neither of those things had ever happened to you – yet, you imagined it had to feel like this.
A massive force, a force of nature, realization as bright and as unexpected as a lightning from a clear sky.
Doctor, are you alright?
He had asked that. He had asked that. He had said your words. He had said your goddamn soulmate’s first words to you, what must have been minutes ago, and only now it hit you.
You were left staring at him with wide eyes, myriad of emotions written all over his face, including slight amusement and what you had earlier inexplicably identified as fondness, because the reason why he was still sitting here with you – though perhaps that was what he always did when rescuing, what did you know, you didn’t, this was your first meeting, that was why he had said the words – was that unlike you, he had realized you were his soulmate right away.
He kept watching you, silently letting you process the crucial revelation, a tight but no less kind smile on his lips.
“You said my words,” you said oh so intelligently. “You--- what… what did I—say?”
It was perhaps the stupidest question of all you could have come up on the spot, but you genuinely couldn’t remember – and wanted to know what words he had been looking at his whole life.
…this part of life? Or before the ice too? How did he feel about that? How did he feel about you? Was he disappointed? He didn’t look like he was, but didn’t even know what you had said—
What you did know and remember was that you were supposed to be smart and yet it had taken you an eternity to even notice you were facing your soulmate you had been probably spewing complete nonsense, you were now stammering like an idiot and for someone who had been worried, always, even if in the back of their mind, if their soulmate would find them good enough, you were generally making a bloody awful first impression.
But seriously, what had been your first words-
“You said you weren’t a doctor yet,” Captain Rogers reminded you, voice soft with affection of someone who had imagined hearing those words at least as many times as you had wondered about yours, hoping they would be pronounced by someone who’d respect you and cared about what kind of person you were, and would hopefully, eventually care for you. Loved you even. The tender way the syllables rolled of his tongue, spoken as if they tasted of honey, nearly chased fresh tears to your eyes. Alright, perhaps your first impression hadn’t been as bad as it appeared in your – albeit injured – head. “But if you really don’t remember saying that, that’s not a good sign. We need to get you medical attention. Come on. Hold on.”
Blinking slowly, still processing the light and yet suffocating feeling that found residence in your chest as it was starting to truly settle that this man, this painfully beautiful and criminally gentle man, was your soulmate, he was leaning closer to you, his hands guiding yours to wrap around his neck, a wordless order you had obediently followed, and then one of his arms was sliding under your knees and his other wrapping around the middle of your back.
And then your vertigo hit you anew because you were suddenly up in the air, hands gripping hard at anything you could reach – conveniently, the only thing was him, because he had lifted you upin his arms, some of your weight resting against his chest – despite the pain that shot up your left hand.
“Whoa-“ And then, because your memory did serve you at least a little: “You--- have been stabbed.”
“Shot,” he repeated patiently, fondly almost, and you did recall he had said that.
You recalled despite the scent of pleasant aftershave and peak man suddenly enveloping you as much as his arms and the firm armour – or perhaps that was the muscles underneath? And those pretty blue eyes were watching you with a glint of amusement and a surprising amount of affection for a guy saying he had been hit by a bullet, while effortlessly carrying the girl he had just met in his-- very, very strong, muscly arms and perhaps your head was not only spinning because of the sudden height you found yourself at.
…amusement? How was he amused? Was that-- was that a joke? Was he making fun of his bullet wound, playing it down?
“That’s… really not better.”
He grinned down at you as he made his way to the exit.
Walking. Watching you. Grinning and not even really looking where he was stepping.
Oh no.
Oh no, he was one of those people. You had met men like him at Operations, except for some reason – perhaps some sort of a soulmate telepathy – you had a feeling in him, that the peculiar recklessness many people from suffered, the disregard for their safety, because they could handle it, was dialled up to eleven in him. On a one to five scale. Because scaling mattered; you were a scientist. You’d know.
However, he did make it out of the laboratory without blowing anything up – perhaps at least that recklessness was balanced up by enhanced senses of a supersoldier and indeed, healing fast. And you hoped with your whole heart that walking out unscathed was a conscious effort, be it for him (somehow you doubted that) or for the cargo he was carrying (you had no doubt about that, not when he was looking at you like that). At least he had kept the helmet on; you were thankful for that, even as you’d love to see him without it.
See your soulmate.
You knew what he looked like everyone knew what he looked like. If they had missed the WW II. ed, they could barely miss the news about an alien invasion he had had a hand in stopping, the fall of majority of SHIELD, and other exciting horrifying news.
“I’ll be fine, doc. Now let’s get you away from exploding vials and lab equipment you could knock me out with. I’d rather be safe when I ask you out for dinner.”
You gulped, gripping him a bit tighter as a memory hit you – literally.
The PCR machine. You had done that. You had grabbed it and used it to smash into a HYDRA agent’s face, using the nearest improvised tool of defence. Jesus.
I really did that?
“You… saw that?” was what you asked instead, a few second ticking by as the rest of his words registered in your brain – and god, you really hoped your cognitive abilities would restore soon and the head injury had not caused permanent damage. “Oh.”
As much as your heart started pounding at that, a pleasant somersault in your stomach for a change, it was a little unfair to sort-of ask you when you were in your current predicament. Being carried like that, so close to him, so gentlemanly and tenderly handled despite your weight no doubt straining him, especially since he had been shot – grazed –, yoursenses wrapped in everything that was him and pulling you in, you were fairly certain you might say yes to just about anything he’d ask.
And not just because he was your soulmate.
Your soulmate carrying you in his arms, while wearing a very flattering suit of armour.
“If you’d like, of course,” he added with slight hesitance that only made your heart race further, because he was laying out his own heart for you already, expressive, genuine, and maybe sweetly handsy but not pushy despite his title and rank technically giving him every right to do whatever the hell he wanted. “But either way, I’ll save the real question for when I know you’re not suffering from a concussion. That sounds good?”
“Yes, Captain,” you replied dutifully. It did sound good, his consideration warming you from inside out. His voice sounded good too. “Sounds good to me.”
His smile was bright as the sun itself and basking in its light and warmth felt just as precious. Except he was to be your private sun forever shared with other to a point, but yours. Chosen by fate itself, defying all you had ever believed, beating time by decades, only so you could find each other.
“Looking forward to it, doc. Maybe I’ll get to know your name too while we’ll be at it,” he teased lightly, but without malice. “My name is Steve.”
Steve.
You knew that. You liked that.
Hand trembling a little, but not because you worried he’d drop you as you partly let go of his shoulders, you reached for the clasp on his helmet, a fluttery feeling in your chest eager to indeed see Steve rather than the Captain.
You felt your lips curl up and mirror his when he gave a tiny nod at your brief hesitation, your fingers finally undoing the strap and revealing his face with his help.
His hair was adorably ruffled, a slight shade of dust on his cheeks whispering of where the protective gear had been; but scientifically speaking, as well as speaking directly from heart, he was absolutely beautiful, his tender smile telling you he thought the very same about you.
He was meant to be yours; as you were meant to be his.
And you couldn’t wait to get to know him.
You could tell there were people around you and they were probably staring; but for the moment, you didn’t care at all. You had just met your soulmate.
And you weren’t even a doctor yet.
“It’s really nice to meet you, Steve. But I have to admit…” you said, teasing him with a pause, rewarded by his eyes earning a curious glint, “that the Doc nickname is kinda growing on me.”
Complete masterlist
Steve Rogers masterlist
Oh this feels like coming back to my roots 🤭 but hey, this challenge is a revival of all thigs good of the past, so why not go with the good old-fashioned soulmate meet-cute with a little angst beforehand, right?
AND BEHOLD I WROTE SOMETHING SHORTER THAN 10K. SHORTER THAN 8K ACTUALLY! It’s an extravaganza miracle 😂
Also. There might be some unrelated smut in the works, but I will not finish that today so... won't be part of the cum together extravaganza... ah well 🤭
Thank you for reading and potential feedback 💕
May the Fourth be with you and the rest of May be kind ✨
#CT 2024 raffle entry#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers imagine#steve rogers x you#steve rogers#captain america#captain america x reader#captain america x you#captain america imagine#steve rogers fanfic#steve rogers fanfiction#steve rogers fluff#soulmate au#soulmate steve rogers#the unexpected#anika ann
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whispers in the dead of night ₊ ⊹
brother’s best friend!ellie williams x f!reader
you started to avoid Ellie when you fear she won’t return the feelings you have, turns out—after a little confrontation in your kitchen at 3am—she feels the same
tw: not proofread, confessions, friends to dating, slight hurt w comfort, kiss at the end, kiss gets a little passionate (then brother walks in on them), r described to be able to put her head on Ellie’s chest
wc ✎ 1.6k
You knew Ellie, but only through your bother. If you two had a conversation, it was because he had invited her over. If she watched a movie with you, it was because he had invited her over. If she ever said happy birthday to you over the phone, it was because he was calling her first.
He was her friend, before she was yours. You were used to seeing her and a few of his other friend’s over, hanging out in the basement or his bedroom. It looked like fun, but your brother’s obsession with keeping his friends away from you was a bit weird. He would tell you to keep away or else you’ll embarrass him, whatever that means—you fear he already does that enough himself.
She was over again, settled on the couch while your brother was somewhere in the house. Her eyes were locked on her phone, scrolling on some media. You mumbled your hello, moving past the living room to grab something from the kitchen. She was doing absolutely nothing, but the sight of her made your heart race.
“Uh yeah, hello to you too,” she says, tone playful, “haven’t seen you all day, where’ve you been?”
“Homework,” you reply, reaching up into a cabinet to grab food. It was a bold lie, but you didn’t want to say you’ve been avoiding coming downstairs as long as possible since you heard her voice.
You see, since you’ve begun to notice how your heart races whenever she was around—you’ve been hiding away as best you can. Not ignoring her, just not being as friendly and close as you were before. You didn’t tease and come sit beside her, leaning on her shoulder anymore. You kept a distance, a friendly normal distance.
“Right,” she says, slowly, “anything going on? You seem busier.”
Shit. You turn your back to pour a bowl of cereal, hands getting a little shaky from the question. You feel like a spy, having to hide a secret from her.
“Just school life, I mean it’s the middle of the year—it usually picks up.”
“That’s true. You could come join us, we’re going to go for a swim.”
Absolutely not. If you saw her in a swim suit you’d fumble and your middle school crush on her would shine like a prism through a glass window. It’d be so embarrassingly obvious.
“I don’t want to impose, my brother would hate me.”
“Who cares, he can suck his own dick. Come join whenever you feel, we’re about to head out.”
You didn’t. You stayed in your bedroom, listening to them talk through the window in your room. It sounded like his other friend eventually joined, the one you’ve all known since forever since they live next door. You assume she probably overheard them in the pool, and came over. There was splashing, laughing, before it grew quiet. You peeked through and saw them resting, talking quietly with one another. No surprise, but seeing her in the pool made your heart jump. It was ultimately a good choice to avoid this, it saved you the hurt of loosing your dignity.
Time flew. Especially when you had fallen asleep, face laid out on your textbook and papers. You felt the deep headache growing in your skull as you sit up, bringing a hand up to rub at your forehead.
“Fuck,“ you say, looking at how dark your room was now. Going off of the fact that you didn’t hear anyone outside anymore—you assumed they had all gone home. As far as you knew, neither of them were staying over—she wasn’t staying over.
Your stomach growled again. You signed, pulling on a sweater as you made your way down the stairs. Sure you had cereal earlier, but it was so easy to make so you picked the box out again—unaware of the socked feet walking behind you.
“Why’re you up so late?”
Goosebumps rose on your arms, head whipping around to find Ellie looking at you tiredly. Her hair was dripping, the drops sliding down her face and wetting her band shirt.
“I’m getting a snack.”
“I can see that, I meant what kept you up?”
“I actually was asleep, I just randomly woke up starving”
She leans against the counter, eyes following you around. It was quiet for a minute. The kitchen click ticking the seconds became so loud, even as you’re putting the cereal and milk away. It was suffocating.
“Hey, might be overstepping here. You don’t have to answer—I just, are you avoiding me—?”
You felt the air grow cold in your chest, eyes darting at everything except her now. She caught you, and now you really can’t escape—but she can’t know. You’d die before you’d ever let her know. She’d take your dumb feelings and mock you for life, possibly stop showing up as often, stop treating you like a friend—you’d loose her.
“I’m not avoiding you, Ellie,” you respond, voice a whisper. You hope she couldn’t catch onto how your voice wobbled just slightly. Her eyes are watching you, flicking around your face.
“Woah, why’re you crying—hey.”
She’s crossing the kitchen, making quick steps to come stand in front of you. You push back slightly, “there’s nothing, really. I’m just tired.”
“Well there’s something if you’re crying,” she sighs, “please talk to me, I just feel like you’re avoiding me and I don’t kn—“
“Well I like you,” you shove her back for real this time, wiping at your face when you feel a tear slip, “it’s stupid, I know. We’re not even that close, you’re so much closer with my brother. I can’t even explain why, really. It’s dumb—and just whatever, goodnight.”
You push past, not caring to even grab the cereal that you made. There were far more important things at hand, like escaping further embarrassment.
“Oh shit—I, wait a second,” she twists, reaching an arm around to try and reach for you in some way, “fuck, wait. I like you too.”
You laugh, the sound coming out watery and it just further makes Ellie feel all the more nervous, “oh fuck off Ellie.”
“No im serious,” she draws, “I’m so serious. I’ve liked you for so long.”
You stand there, eyes red and looking her straight in the eye with a sharpness of hurt beneath them. She’s breathing hard almost, chest rising and falling as she looks to you with a sad grimace almost.
“Please, talk to me,” she begs, and it turned out to be enough. You stayed, hearing her out, listening to each detail of her story.
“I really do, I really really do like you. I’m not mocking you, I would never do that.”
With your arms wrapped around you, you wrap them tighter—seeking comfort as you take in her words. It felt like a fever dream. Somehow you were more accepting to hear her “deny” you than to spill her feelings.
She reached a hand out, pulling you closer to her again. Reluctantly your body shuffles closer until you’re resting in her embrace—head on her chest. Her hands are warm, slightly shaky as they rub at your back. Ellie’s eyes are looking around at the ceiling, her heart racing so fast against your ear you almost smile. You almost forgot how much of a dork she really is.
“You wanna go out on a date with me now, or something,” she asks, trying to seem nonchalant.
“Yeah. Yeah, I’d love to,” you whisper, “but I do need to get your phone number.”
“Yeah… I don’t know why I’ve gone along with your brother’s bro code. What the fuck, yeah, I need your number.”
You laugh quietly, leaning back to look at her.
“Ellie?”
You say, but it came out more like a hush—mumbled against the air and falling warm against her skin as she moves in closer. Her fingers are moving on your face, brushing it gently.
“Can I kiss you?”
You smile with a nod and it was enough to melt Ellie. She’s dreamed about this, literally. She’s had nights where she’s woken up, fake memories of the two of you hanging out. And now it’s real. She’s holding you in her arms and she’s about to actually kiss you—wow does she feel like she’s dreaming.
It was so sweet, the first moment when your lips touched. You smiled wider snd leaned in again. She kissed back happily, moving forward to chase after you. You wrap your arms around her, pulling her closer just as she does the same.
The kitchen has the same ticking sound of the clock, but now there’s the added sounds between the two of you. You stand there for who knows how long, pressed against a counter and Ellie’s body. It’s a contrast for sure—the difference between her warm hands, and cold chest from her dripping hair.
You gasp just a tad when her mouth fumbled and pressed against your jaw. The sound drove her crazy, hands fighting against your clothes and pulling you closer. Before she could even try and kiss there again, the lights to the kitchen switched on and you felt like a deer in headlights.
Your brother stood, looking between the two of you, “Ellie dammit—“
All she could do was smile awkwardly. For the first time that week, you laughed full heartedly.
#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams fanfiction#tlou ellie williams#brothers best friend!ellie#brothers best friend!au#ellie williams tlou#tlou ellie#ellie#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie x fem reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams x f!reader#Ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie x you#ellie x y/n#Ellie x fem!reader#Ellie x f!reader#the last of us#tlou#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fic#ellie fanfic#ellie fluff#ellie fic
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romance analysis unit | spencer reid
summary: you like spencer. spencer likes you. somehow, you're the only ones on the team who can't see it - and that calls for some BAU intervention.
a/n: i had a bit of an impulsive moment and decided to delete my old blog (vintagecarat) because i wanted a redo, so if you've seen a variation of this fic before, it’s not been stolen - i promise! this is my favourite x reader i've ever written, so i had to rewrite it, of course!
enjoy the fic, and have a fantastic day! <3 requests are open!
note(s): gn!reader & no pronouns used, mention of alcohol, mention of canon-typical violence, reader gets hurt, mentions of blood, one bed trope
word count: 5,173
One year, seven months and sixteen days. That's how long it had been since you'd started working at the BAU.
One year, seven months and nine days. That's how long it had been since you'd realized that you had a sickeningly huge crush on Spencer Reid.
It had been a long time since you'd had a crush. The last time had been in elementary school, and you'd been convinced that you were in love with the boy who sat two seats to the left of you in class. He’d gone on to marry your best friend and leave you with a broken heart. In hindsight, though, you were only five.
You'd fallen for people before, and you'd had a string of partners in the past, but it had been such a long time since you'd felt the way you did when you looked at Spencer. Seeing him smile made your heart thud erratically in your chest. Hearing him ramble made you smile in the giddiest and most euphoric way possible. Feeling his fingers brush against yours whenever he handed you your morning coffee made your brain turn to mush and left you unable to form a coherent sentence for at least ten minutes. You were trying your hardest to break that last habit, though.
Your crush on Spencer quickly became a topic that you knew you wanted to keep a secret from the rest of the team. The last thing you needed was all of your progress as the newest team member to be weighed down by a crush that made you blush and giggle like a child.
During a particularly wild night out with the team, though, your plan to keep your crush on Spencer a secret went flying out of the nearest window, along with any shred of dignity you had remaining after drinking one too many shots. It had been a miracle that Spencer hadn't been there at the exact moment the words spouted from your lips. At least you had your drunk self to thank for something, you supposed.
Penelope had been the first one you'd told. Definitely a foolish move on your part, but you were too drunk in the moment to make any logical decisions. Emily and JJ had gone to the bar to get more drinks - "another round of shots", Emily had screamed before dragging JJ away - leaving you and Penelope alone to guard the table in the corner. She was the one who'd brought up the conversation, and naturally, you'd followed along without a care in the world. If there was anything good to come of the situation, then it was the look on Penelope’s face. You wished you’d taken a picture of her expression as the words tumbled from your mouth.
Penelope couldn’t keep a secret to save her life, and once she knew, it was only a matter of time before Emily and JJ knew. She’d screamed so loudly that you’d almost gotten kicked out of the bar for causing a disturbance.
"Place your bets," Emily had shouted over the pounding bass music, slamming a twenty-dollar bill onto the table, "How long until Garcia tells Morgan?"
It barely even took an hour. Emily ended up winning her own bet.
Derek had practically cornered you at your desk the next time he saw you in the bullpen, failing miserably to hide the smirk on his face as he showed you his phone and the babbling, completely unintelligible, texts from Penelope.
With the alcohol out of your system and the devastating hangover a painful memory, you wanted nothing more than for the ground to swallow you whole. Maybe you could quit, or request a transfer, or simply disappear to the other side of the country and become a recluse in the wilderness. Wishful thinking, of course.
From that moment on, you noticed that the rest of the team was messing with you. You didn’t have any proof, but you were sure of it. You’d enter the conference room to find that the only seat remaining was next to Spencer. You’d find yourself paired up with Spencer more often during cases. You and Spencer would frequently be the last two members left in the bullpen at the end of the day.
It wasn't as if you particularly minded. You and Spencer were best friends. You had been from the moment you'd walked into the bullpen on your first day and immediately made a comment about the book he was reading. You were used to being around him more often than not, but it was a lot harder to act as if nothing had changed when you were on edge 90% of the time. You were always wondering if he knew anything about the crush you had on him, or if someone else was about to blurt out the secret that you were trying so desperately hard to keep hidden. You couldn't bring it up because you'd either out yourself or you'd be forced to have a conversation that you were sure would end in rejection.
It was an endless cycle, and you hated it.
You were in the bullpen with Dave, perched on the edge of your desk as he rattled off his famous carbonara recipe. You’d always wanted to be a better cook, and Dave had promised you that he'd teach you, even though he really didn't want you burning his kitchen down to the ground.
“Okay, so, do you add the cheese and the egg together, or separately?”
“You combine the egg first, and then you add the cheese.”
“Oh. Right. So…”
It was at that moment that Derek decided to sidle over to the conversation, perching himself on your desk beside you with an all-too familiar smirk on his face.
“Since when have you been interested in learning how to cook?” he gave you a not-so-subtle nudge.
You shot Derek a glare, “Derek. Don't.”
"Unless you were planning a date for pretty boy over there.”
He nodded his head in Spencer's direction, and you couldn't help but follow his eyes. It was automatic. The sight of Spencer pouring pretty much the entire jar of sugar into his coffee made you smile, but it was definitely an expression you wiped off your face when you heard Derek's laughter.
“I swear to God, Derek…”
“Guys,” JJ interrupted, entering the bullpen with a case file in hand, “We've got a case.”
“Is it bad?”
JJ simply grimaced.
“Of course it is,” you said with a sigh, hopping off your desk. Derek was still failing to hide his laughter beside you, and you swatted at him, “Shut up, Derek.”
“I didn't do anything.”
“You didn't have to.”
It didn’t surprise you at all to see that the seat beside Spencer was the only one available. As you slid into it, you caught Emily smirking at you from across the table, though she was clearly trying to hide it. You shook your head at her, though you couldn’t stop a tiny smile from ghosting over your lips as you focused your attention onto the case file in your hands.
ꨄ︎
It always seemed as though every case at the BAU was worse than the last one.
You’d all been called to a small town in Wyoming after a frantic call from the police department. Three victims had been found in the town’s frozen lake with anchors tied to their ankles to keep them below the surface. A fourth victim had gone missing, and there was no doubt that she’d end up like the others if she wasn’t found. It was a horrifying fact that everybody knew, but nobody wanted to admit.
It was later, almost 11 pm, and you were no closer to solving the case than you had been when you’d first arrived. It was as if the unsub was always three steps ahead of you, and it was frustratingly annoying. You’d spent a good portion of the afternoon scouring through decade old case files. The lead detective was convinced that it was related to a similar case that had happened in the 1990s. You hadn’t found any striking similarities between the two and you were beginning to wonder if there would be any at all. He was clutching at straws, desperately trying to close the case as quickly as possible. You couldn’t fault him for that.
Just as the words on the case file were beginning to blur into one large amalgamation, a gentle hand landed on your shoulder, “Hey,” JJ said, “We’re all heading to the hotel.”
“You go ahead,” you waved dismissively, stifling a yawn, “I’m going to finish looking over these files, and…”
“Hotch’s orders,” she cut you off, “You need a break. We all do.”
You looked to the doors of the precinct and saw the rest of the team ready to leave, muttering amongst themselves in a tired conversation. Aaron raised his eyebrows, almost expectantly, at you.
“Alright,” you didn’t bother trying to hide another yawn, “I’m coming.”
JJ smiled softly at you, almost dragging you to your feet because of how exhausted you were. It didn’t really feel as if your brain was in control of your body as you padded after her. You’d been so caught up in the details of the case that you hadn’t realized how tired you truly were. The sudden rush of air that hit you as you exited the building made you even drowsier.
“You look exhausted,” Spencer chuckled as he helped you into the SUV with a gentle hand on the small of your back that almost made you combust right then and there, "I've seen you tired, but this is another level."
You simply made a little grunt in response. You didn't have enough energy to come up with one of your usual witty comebacks. You clumsily collapsed into your seat, and you leaned your head back against the headrest as your eyes fluttered shut.
It wasn't too long of a drive to the hotel, but that didn't stop you from catching a quick power nap during the brief moment of peace. You couldn't get Spencer out of your head. Or, more specifically, that hand on the small of your back. He'd never touched you like that before. Ever. It was sending your brain spiraling, to be honest.
“We’re here,” Spencer’s voice filtered into your ear as he gently shook your shoulder, “Wake up.”
Your eyes snapped open, and you glanced to your left. After a moment, your eyes came back into focus, and it hit you that your head was leaning on Spencer’s shoulder, “Oh,” you quickly sat up, though you almost choked as the seat belt snapped you back against the seat, “Sorry.”
You were so very glad that most of the team weren’t in the same SUV as the two of you because they’d never let you hear the end of it. The only other person was Aaron, and as you caught his eye in the rearview mirror, you could tell that he was trying not to uncharacteristically laugh at you. You did your best to ignore him, which wasn’t exactly easy when your face began to burn with a familiar wave of heat that you’d grown accustomed to.
That chuckle of Spencer’s that you loved so much and made your heart do flip-flops in your chest echoed in your ears, “It’s fine. You clearly needed it. And I do make an excellent pillow.”
You snorted out a laugh, and you gave him a shove as you climbed out of the car beside him, “Shut up.”
The rest of the team were all waiting beside the front desk with their bags as you and Spencer entered. Even though you made sure to look in any other direction, you definitely saw the subtle smirks Derek and Emily were shooting you out of the corner of your eye.
Aaron finished his hushed conversation with the receptionist, and with a curt nod, he moved back over to the rest of the team with key cards in his hand, “They don’t have enough rooms for all of us. Looks like we’re doubling up.”
If Spencer noticed the subtle smirks and side glances from the rest of the team, he never mentioned them.
Instead, he nudged your shoulder, “We’re sharing, right?”
“Of course, we’re sharing. I wouldn’t expect anything less,” you took the key card Aaron was holding out to you, and you couldn’t help but notice his lips twitching up into a tiny little-half smirk. You brushed it off, though, “I’m sleeping on the bed nearest the window this time.”
“That’s not fair,” Spencer followed you as you made your way to the elevator, “I like sleeping near the window.”
“No. Not happening. You slept near the window last time.”
A comfortable silence fell over the two of you as the elevator shot up to your designated floor. Your eyes wandered around the small space, and you found yourself looking anywhere other than at Spencer. You weren’t an anxious person, and it wasn’t as if being alone with Spencer was a new thing to you, but your mind was racing. All because of that one small gesture. His hand on the small of your back. You couldn’t stop thinking about it, and you wished you could because it was making your cheeks burn.
“Even the elevators are fancy,” you muttered, casting a quick glance around the elevator’s plush and yet miniscule interior, “For a small town, they sure do have nice hotels.”
Things really were dire when you started making small talk. You were the type of person who could make a mountain out of a molehill with how much you talked. You almost rivaled Spencer with how much you could babble on. Small talk wasn’t your thing at all.
“What’s the matter with you?”
“Hm?”
“You hate small talk,” Spencer said, and you bit back a laugh at that. It was as if you and Spencer were on the same wavelength sometimes, “And you’re picking at the hole in your sweater. You only ever do that when you’ve got something on your mind.”
You immediately glanced down at your hands, dropping them from your sweater as if it burned. You hadn’t even realized you’d been picking at the hole until Spencer mentioned it. You hadn’t even realized that there was a hole at all. Your bottom lip jutted out in a quick pout, “I love this sweater.”
Spencer chuckled at that, “So,” he continued, “You’re clearly nervous about something. And it’s not the case, because cases never make you nervous.”
“Really?” you said, a hint of laughter creeping into your tone, “You’re analyzing me?”
The elevator reached your floor, and the doors opened with a loud ding, “I’m not analyzing,” Spencer stepped out, “I’m simply making an astute observation.”
“Okay, well stop astutely observing me,” you followed after him, “Don’t worry. I’m fine. You know I’d tell you, “ it wasn’t necessarily a lie. Maybe you’d tell him. Eventually.
Spencer glanced back at you briefly as if he didn’t believe a word coming out of your mouth, but he never said anything. Instead, he took the keycard from you and held it against the lock, waiting for the light to turn green before pushing open the door, “Oh.”
“What?” you sidestepped around him, “Oh.”
There was only one bed. Sure, it was a double, but it was still tiny. It was in that moment that you decided perhaps becoming an unsub wouldn’t be a lost cause.
“I’ll take the couch.”
“I can sleep on the couch.”
You and Spencer finished your sentences at the same time, and you turned to look at each other. As soon as you locked eyes, you both started to laugh at the stupidity of the situation.
“I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.”
“I’m not letting you sleep on the couch either,” you argued, “It’ll kill your back, Spence. You’re way too tall.”
“It’s not fair on you, though. You’ll…” Spencer was about to argue some more, but he stopped when he saw the look on your face. Spencer couldn’t argue his way out of a wet paper bag - when it came to you, at least.
“Look, Spence. It’s fine,” you dropped your bag onto the couch before he could protest, “There. Easy. No harm done.”
Spencer frowned, but he reluctantly put his own bag on the bed, “Fine. We’re swapping tomorrow night, though,” he told you, almost ordering you, “You’re not sleeping on the couch the entire time we’re here.”
“Deal,” your lips curled up into a smile, and you sat down on the couch, “See. I told you I’d be sleeping near the window.”
Spencer laughed at that.
ꨄ︎
From your space on the couch, you could faintly see the glowing green alarm clock that sat on the bedside table. A strange commodity for a hotel room. It almost looked alien.
2:32 a.m.
You couldn’t sleep. You had a bad enough sleep schedule at the best of times, but the injury on your side was making things worse. It still burned, and if you gently put pressure on the area, you could still feel the deep wound through the layers of bandages.
You were almost three days into the case, and you’d finally had a solid lead. It had taken a lot of digging, but Penelope had discovered the unsub’s hunting ground; an old speakeasy hidden so deep in the town that nobody had been able to trace it. Since you were the closest in victimology, you’d agreed to go undercover to catch the unsub once and for all. All you’d ended up with was a knife embedded deep into your side as the unsub escaped once again.
You’d been in the hospital for hours after that. The knife had gone in so deep that it was close to catching something vital, and the doctors had told you that you were lucky to be alive. You’d spent most of that afternoon in a hospital bed, listening to the monotonous sound of beeping machines. After a concerned lecture from Aaron - he’d told you not to follow the unsub but you hadn’t exactly listened - you were bandaged up and sent on your way.
Spencer had told you to take the bed. He’d almost forced you into it at one point. But you’d seen the way he’d tried to discreetly stretch out his cramp throughout the day, and you were far too stubborn, so you refused his offer and tried to sleep on the couch for the night. It wasn’t working, though.
You huffed in pain, shifting uncomfortably in the hopes of finding a better position to sleep in. Every movement made your bandages rub against the wounded area. You finally thought you found a comfortable enough position and you tried to settle down, but then you felt a dampness seeping through your bandages, and you cursed under your breath.
“No, no, no,” you muttered, pulling your shirt up and surveying your body. Even in the darkness, you could see the dark spot where the blood had begun to soak through, “Goddamnit.”
You pushed yourself off the couch and tip-toed across the room. You didn’t want to wake Spencer, especially not in your current state. You kept a hand tightly pressed against your side as you slowly moved. You didn’t want to get blood on the carpet. The staff seemed lovely, and you didn’t want to ruin their day with your mess. Every single step made you wince as a sharp pain shot straight through your body, and your breaths came out as sharp little puffs of air.
A muffled noise from the bed caught your attention, and you saw Spencer begin to stir. He gently mumbled your name as he sat up and stared at you with bleary eyes, “What are you doing?” he looked you up and down, and then his eyes settled on the blood, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you told him, though you clearly weren’t, “I think the stitches came undone or something. It’s fine,” you tried to wave his worries off, “Go back to sleep.”
Spencer did the opposite. He clambered out of bed and turned on the light, lighting up the room so that you could both see each other clearly. Your heart started to thud a little faster when you saw that the shirt he was wearing to sleep in was a little undone towards the top. You’d never noticed that before.
“You’re not fine,” his eyes were laser focused on the blood as he took a step closer to you, “You’re bleeding.”
“Good observation skills, Spencer,” you laughed a little, though you grunted in pain as it aggravated the injury, “I told you, it’s fine. I’ll redress it, and…” you paused when you saw the look in his eyes. It was a look he’d never given you before, and it stole your breath for a moment.
“Let me see.”
“Spencer...”
“It’s obviously hurting you,” his sentence was almost demanding, and yet there was a soft and concerning tone to his voice, too, “Let me see it.”
You sighed. There was no way you could refuse when he spoke to you with that tone of voice. You gingerly lifted your shirt high enough for him to see it, “It looks worse than it is.”
Spencer gently pulled away the loose bandages and inspected the open wound, his eyes never leaving your body, “Doesn’t matter,” he muttered, “You’re not redressing it yourself, and you’re certainly not stitching yourself back up.”
You barely had a chance to respond before Spencer had darted into the bathroom, and he came out moments later with a roll of bandages the hospital had given you.
“Here. Sit,” he sat back down on the bed, and he patted the space beside him, “You’ll have to go back to hospital tomorrow. I’ll help you rebandage it for tonight,” his eyes darted between your own eyes and the blood that seemed to be pooling on your side, “Please.”
You hesitated for a moment, ���Spencer…” there was no point in arguing with him, you knew that, and your wound hurt the longer it was left open, “Fine.”
You sat down beside Spencer, curling your legs up under you as you turned your back to him. Your hands gripped the hem of your shirt, holding it up high enough so that it wasn’t dangling in the way. This wasn’t the first time that Spencer had patched you up after an injury in the field, but this was the first time where you were definitely feeling a little light-headed.
“Ow.”
“Sorry,” Spencer’s voice was a gentle whisper against your ear. You hadn’t even realized that he was practically leaning his head on your shoulder, “Sorry.”
Spencer’s hands were so gentle on your skin that it was almost as if he wasn’t even touching you at all. The only indication that he was even helping you was the bandages around your torso since he wrapped them so tightly that they felt like a strangely comforting hug.
“There,” Spencer said, almost proudly, and he gave you a pat on the shoulder, “Done.”
You glanced down at your body before dropping your shirt. The wound didn’t even seem to hurt any more. You became very aware very quickly that Spencer’s hands hadn’t left your hips, “Thank you.”
You shuffled around until you were facing him, and when your eyes locked, it suddenly felt as if time had come to a standstill. That look was back in his eyes; the one that you’d never seen before that made you feel as though you were melting on the inside. You weren’t entirely sure what was racing faster; your heart or your mind.
And suddenly, before you could really comprehend your actions, your lips were on his. Your body acted before your brain could catch up. Your hands tugged slightly on the collar of his shirt as if you were trying to pull him closer to you. The kiss was tender, and yet it was so full of obvious desire. Warmth flooded your entire body as your stomach seemed to explode with swarms of butterflies. This was a moment you’d thought about for a long time, and once your brain caught up, you couldn’t quite comprehend that it was happening.
It may have only been a few seconds, but it felt like hours. You pulled away, and it was only after you saw the startled expression on Spencer’s face and the faint blush that crept up his neck that you realized what you’d done, “Spence…” your mouth opened and closed, but now words came out for a good few seconds, “Spencer. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to…”
Your panicked babbling was cut off as Spencer pressed a quick kiss to your lips, “Shut up,” he smiled, and he pressed his index fingers where his lips had been moments ago, “Just shut up for a minute.”
If this were any other time, you’d be rather offended that he told you to shut up, and you’d keep talking. In this situation, however, you were happy to keep your mouth shut.
“You didn’t mean to, what? You didn’t mean to kiss me?”
“No. I mean… Yes, but also no, but…”
Spencer raised an eyebrow with a faint smirk, “I thought I told you to shut up.”
You pressed your lips together in a fine line, “Sorry.”
Spencer’s hands left your hips, and he took your hands in his own. He squeezed them gently, and his thumbs began tracing soft little circles onto your palms, “You kissed me.”
You were more than ready for the ground to open up and swallow you whole. Spencer seemed to notice because his grip on your hands got a little tighter as if he knew you’d go run, “I’m glad you kissed me.”
There was no stopping the surprised squeak that escaped your lips, “What?!”
Spencer chuckled at that, and the pink blush had spread up to his cheeks, “I’m glad you kissed me,” he repeated, “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time.”
“You… You…” your mouth was hanging open, and your eyes were wide. You must’ve looked like an absolute idiot, “You have…?”
“Of course, I did.”
This conversation was going in an entirely different direction to how you’d assumed it was. You’d never seen Spencer look or talk with so much affection before. Spencer said your name with so much love in his tone that it snapped you out of your shocked state, “I like you.”
For a single moment in time, it felt as if the world had stopped spinning. You simply stared, unable to do much of anything else except feel a sharp tug at your heart, “You… You do…?”
“Are you capable of putting a sentence together, or not?” Spencer laughed, and he interlaced his fingers with yours, “Yes, I do. A lot, actually,” he smiled at you, and there was a hint of teasing, “I might be a genius, but even the dumbest person in the room could figure you out right now.”
You cracked a smile, and your shocked expression gave way to a relieved and delighted one, “I really like you, too.”
“Do you? I hadn’t noticed.”
“Shut up,” you giggled, and you never giggled. You knew this crush was childish, but this was on another level entirely.
“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard you giggle.”
“I’m not giggling.”
“Oh, you absolutely are. You’ve always been a terrible liar,” Spencer grinned at you, and then his lips connected with yours.
The kiss seemed more affectionate than earlier, and a lot more passionate. Your hands wound around his neck, and his hands found a comfortable resting place on your waist. Your lips seemed to perfectly fit together like two puzzle pieces. It could’ve been seconds, or it could’ve been minutes. You weren’t entirely sure how long it had been, but you eventually pulled away from each other, and you were both a little breathless from the intensity. Intense was something you never expected from Spencer. You liked it, though.
You let your forehead rest against Spencer’s, “I hate to ruin the mood and everything, but…” your eyes flitted back and forth to the couch, “Does this mean I don’t have to sleep on the couch anymore?”
“Absolutely not,” Spencer pulled you a little closer, “You’re not sleeping on the couch. Especially not now.”
“Good,” you curled into him as he pulled you closer to his side, letting your head rest against his chest with a gentle sigh, “The bed has better company.”
Spencer maneuvered the two of you until you were lying on the bed, and he tucked you that tiny bit closer into him. You’d imagined him hugging you plenty of times, but this felt better than any imagination could. He kissed the top of your head, and he ran a gentle hand up and down your back, “Sure does.”
ꨄ︎
“Penelope Garcia! I’m going to kill you!”
You stormed through the BAU and entered Penelope’s office, slamming the door open with such a bang that it made the walls shudder.
Penelope grinned as she spun around in her chair to face you, “Ah, my sweet angel,” she spoke with a beaming grin on her face, “Do you require my assistance?”
“You little…” you stepped a little closer, but it was hard to look even slightly threatening with a goofy grin on your face that you were trying to hide, “You gave me and Spencer the only room with a single bed?”
“I did no such thing.”
“I spoke to everyone else, Pen. Everyone else had a bed of their own.”
Penelope continued to smirk at you, not even trying to hide her laughter, “It worked, didn’t it? I haven’t seen you as happy as this in weeks.”
You faltered at that. She wasn’t wrong. Ever since you’d gotten back from Wyoming, you’d been happier than anyone had ever seen you. Of course, everyone knew about you and Spencer, and it didn’t take long for the good-natured teasing to pick straight back up, “Yeah. Okay. It worked, but…”
Penelope held up a manicured finger to cut you off, “Besides, my sweet,” she continued, leaning forward in her chair as if she had a secret to tell you, “I was the one who booked the rooms, yes, but I wasn’t the one who handed out the keys, was I?”
Another pause. The words slowly sunk in, and then your mouth dropped open in a mix of shock, humiliation, and a little bit of gratitude, “You… You don’t mean…”
Penelope grinned. She could practically see the gears turning in your head, and it made her laugh, “Oh, I mean exactly what you think I mean, my love.”
“Hotch set us up?!” you didn’t even wait for Penelope’s response. You turned on your heel and marched out of her office, leaving Penelope laughing to herself behind you, “Aaron Hotchner! I’m going to kill you.”
#criminal minds#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid imagine#x reader
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