#it helps that i changed tactics and i'm doing a new draft of an old story

[asterdeer]

nano in three days. sick to my stomach (with excitement)

[erin-epica]

Woop-de-doo, it's Lord Scarlet stuff part 2

This was a post I planned on making WAY sooner, but I accidentally lost the original draft so I didn't even bother to try doing it gain until recently. And just now something happened that changed everything; and I mean what both DID and DIDN'T automatically give me the right to post this. I almost deleted my first post at that, and here's why:

In the first post, I mentioned that when I initially found out Vic was lying to me, I was quiet about it and just stopped talking to her out of fear, and then when I asked for help on what to do I was told to leave without a word. I don't think that was entirely the right thing to do in the long run, because it may have been the easiest way out but I'm better off with proper closure.

And the thoughts she left me scarred with never left my head. Time and time again, I'd find myself crying myself to sleep again at the thought of Brock forced to hide romantic feelings for Master Frown and not know who he was anymore while Frown was left unaware and in love with someone else, even if it wasn't Lord Scarlet.

And the pain sometimes came with a want to confront Vic one last time and open up to her about how I wasn't blind anymore, and how much she really hurt me. But I, again, wass scared she wouldn't care and would cut me off.

So when the pain got worse, I did what any coward would do: tell everyone else about my pain.

Now I DID tell friends of mine other than the Unikitty Amino staff about what happened, and they were all sympathetic and understanding about it. But then I told almost everyone, and then made my vent post on here (as well as Wattpad). As much as I wouldn't want to call them call out posts, they might as well have been. I didn't want people to harass Vic and make her mad...but at the same time I kinda did. I was too scared to face her that I was hoping that someone would do it for me. I even tagged accounts of Vic's. Not cool of me at all.

Now the Tumblr and Wattpad posts got me pretty much more of the same: sympathy, and acceptance that I had moved on. No one came after Vic but we could still agree that none of her actions were justified (I even got @careeningle's attention...sorry about the aneurysm)

Now comes the next important thing that happened, because I mentioned @friffinx kinda being responsible for me getting back to the Lord Scarlet Amino to write the message that I did. In it, I said that after I sent the message I did I would leave the Amino again & for good.

Well...I lied. I still checked in every day for the same reason I started venting: I kinda wanted Vic to see my message. Even if she'd ban me, I wanted to see if she'd ever notice my message. And that would've been the end of it if it wasn't for Brook.

I briefly mentioned Brook in the last post. She was another OC of Vic's, and was exactly to Brock what Lord Scarlet was to Master Frown; a carbon copy love interest. Except Lord Scarlet was far more developed and drawn & written about more. Brook didn't even really have a distinct personality, she was a girl Brock and that was it. But with reptilian overlord eyes. (To be fair, Vic drew Brock like that sometimes too)

(I didn't include Vic's art unless it was in chat bgs or whatever in the last post, but for the sake of referencing/proving a point, this is what Brook looks like)

No one really paid attention to her for the longest time. She was there in the fanfics because according to Vic, "Scarlet needed a friend." And like I said in the first post, Brook wasn't said to be canon so I never found a reason to really care for her. Plus I can only recall someone giving Vic fanart with her, and it was with Scarlet (@plastic-papercuts made it, go follow her she's gr8).

But then one day, for some reason, something in me clicked. I actually thought of a story idea for her. Somehow this bland cutout of a character had potential in my eyes, and I weirdly started liking her because of it. She suddenly felt...more real. I got pretty invested in my idea and newfound interpretation of Brook, and describing it would make this post way longer than it is so if anyone asks about it, I'll probably make a whole other post about it.

Anyway, I came up with a little plan: draw out this idea in the form of a comic and post it to the Lord Scarlet Amino. And see if Vic gets suspicious and checks out my profile and then maybe bans me. It felt a bit better than total silence and she'd probably see that someone gave a crap about Brook after all.

So I started a new chat called "It's Brook" to share my progress with the other members of the Amino, which there weren't too many of but we had fun in it. It was basically me, @friffinx , @soapycocacola, @plastic-papercuts, and a few others who aren't on Tumblr (or at least don't think are) chatting about how awful Vic was and calling out her lazy art tactics like tracing and using assets/clips right from the show. And of course me sharing the comic progress I was making. Again, this doesn't make anything we did right but it felt good getting everything off our chests. We were like a secret rebellion against an absentee dictator. One time Vic came online as we were chatting and even viewed my profile, but nothing happened. And it stayed that way until I opened Amino up one morning. For those of you who don't have it, the menu shows all the communities you're in when you open the app, and all of mine were there except for the Lord Scarlet Amino. I assumed I must've been banned overnight. But I wasn't banned from Vic's other Amino so I commented on her wall on that one. For Vic's sake, I won't show how the conversation went (and I'll explain why at the end) but here's how it went:

Me: Did you ban me from the LS Amino?

Her: There was drama in one of the chat rooms and I'm not having it. I didn't want to do it and it's not a big deal It's just an amino and you're still on this one AM I RIGHT?

Me: Yes, but I assume you read my updated bio. As I hoped you would.

Her: Nope.

Me: Oh. But you know what? Ban me from here too for all I care, I feel like you deserve to know why I left and came back: *insert me finally telling her how I know she lied, that she hurt me, and what I did was wrong here*

Her: Lol ok be that person but keep in mind that I'm one of those people that doesn't gibe a fuck lol

And then she banned me from that Amino too before I could type and submit a fitting farewell reply.

At least I finally got all the built-up emotional pain out of me, but it did help me realize something important: we never really were friends. I wanted more of her content despite all her red flags as a person so I tried enduring them, thinking it'd be worth it, and she only kinda cared about me when I was being a yes man. She never kept any promises and didn't respect me the same way I did her. So I could at least feel confident knowing she most likely didn't care at all when I first left.

@friffinx and the others didn't get banned, though, and Friff even started another chat on the LS Amino called "It's Brook 2" where they talked more about Vic being a terrible person. And it didn't take long for her to shut that chat down too and ban everyone from it that time. Friff sent me screenshots of what happened next (which again, I'm not gonna show), where Vic basically had a meltdown. She changed her username to "Little Miss Guillotine", and made a post about her being "finished with the bushit". In it, she announced that she didn't even like Unikitty! anymore but was still gonna keep/use Lord Scarlet because she wanted to. The part that made my blood almost boil wasn't her views on the show, she's free to have her opinion and I couldn't care less about it. What DID was that she acknowledged that she lied the whole time because "she didn't care anymore" and said that it was "our faults for believing it in the first place" and that "we needed to grow up"/"stop brining it up"

Ooooh boy, victim blaming, my favortie...

Since then she changed the Lord Scarlet Amino's theme to make it about The Penguins of Madagacar (again, fine with me). Either way she was still a narcissist and I thought she'd, sadly, likely never change. And my friends and I all thought that was the end of it.

Until a few hours ago...

I was browsing the Unikitty Amino and saw a new member named BlueCat. Didn't think anything else of it until the user PMed me. And this is what happened:

I didn't know what to think other than "I thought this day would never come", I was that shaken. This was so left field-ish that what else could I do but believe her? It didn't even seem suspicious or like she was trying to be a suck up, that wasn't Vic at all.

But the one thing I knew I had to do was ban her because even if she meant well and did it for the right(?) reasons, but I still asked if I should in the staff chat. @girly-glorious (also amazing so pls check her out :D) told me that yes, it was ban evasion so since I'm a leader too now I could to it on my own. But I knew I had to message Vic first and Girly told me to be careful, so this is what I sent:

And then I banned her, the end (not really)

Now I don't understand how or why this sudden behavior change happened but I don't know if I should question it in case it's personal. But again, I at least want to believe that she's really being genuine and had a change of heart because never in a million years could I imagine her being this mature. Again, she didn't demand that I forgive me or probably even expect me to. But the message still does leave me feeling sorry for her.

Now I thought that was the real end of it until I see the Penguins of Madagascar/old Lord Scarlet Amino on my sideboard.

She unbanned me.

Now I don't know where we'll go from here, if anywhere. I'm not too sure if I can really let my guard down around someone who hurt me so badly just in case she does it again. So I may not talk to her again, but if she really asks something from me, I might try and build up courage to ask her more about how she came to apologizing to me. Plus she followed me on Wattpad too.

But this is why I didn't show our conversation right before my ban or her "f.u." posts. Because I don't want people seeing more of Vic's past behavior and possibly embarrassing her about it if she ever sees this. But that's kinda why I felt like it was 100% necessary to finally make a sequel post in the end; I'm hoping people at least acknowledge Vic has changed and don't keep thinking about based on what I shared out of attempts to gain sympathy like a crybaby.

So before I go: PLEASE, DON'T GO AFTER OR HARASS VIC. I KNOW YOU PROBABLY WON'T, BUT THIS IS SERIOUS. ALL THE PROBLEMATIC LORD SCARLET DRAMA IS STUFF OF THE PAST AND NEITHER OF US WANT TO KEEP LOOKING BACK ON IT.

I hope this helps whoever's reading as much as it did me.

[ba-hons-film-blog]

Film Narrative 2 - Fiction Project Critical Reflection:

Initial Idea, Story and Script:

The initial idea came from Euan, who had the broad idea of a door-to-door salesman trying to sell something. We then expanded the idea to have it follow a desperate, morally dubious salesman, who grows increasingly desperate in his efforts to sell his products to a vulnerable old woman. We liked the dubious morality of the idea, and the inner conflict this would give the (unnamed) Salesman. We also thought the two characters, who both had clear but conflicting objectives (the Salesman needs to secure a deal to provide for his family) and the elderly woman, Mrs Beale (who simply wants some company, and isn't interested in the Salesman’s pitch) would help to give the film some good narrative thrust, as Mrs Beale casually dismisses the Salesman’s pitches, and the Salesman then has to try a new, more dubious tactic to secure his sale.

I feel my main contributions were towards coming up with various story beats and character developments for the idea, and making some dialogue revisions to Euan’s second draft of the script. This is due to my interest in storytelling, and script writing. I personally feel like I made a good deal of suggestions for the plot which made it into the final script and feel my dialogue suggestions, while somewhat hurried and not overly polished, helped to expand certain beats where I felt the script rushed past a moment that could be used to create more tension or character. Overall, I feel happy with the final draft of the script, although I feel it was left slightly late, and would have liked to have had time to submit/review a few more drafts done by either Euan, myself or another member of the group, so as to fine tune each and every aspect of the script.

Pre Production Documents:

(For all pre production documents, go to this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15hR7u8XKGlIGuBE3ye0p2FvMvKXCiAJS)

While I did have some ideas for the films style (suggesting ideas like the tv show White Gold) and some ideas for certain shots which I shared with the group(like the opening shot were we see the Salesman who the neighbouring door slammed in his face), I feel I was more engaged with the story and script side of the project than I was with the production side. While that is more what I am interested in, I feel in the next project, I want to get more stuck into the pre production aspects, even if just for some variety and experience. I did do the logline and script synopsis, but that wasn't too far removed from my work with regards to the story and the script.

I think the group did a great job with their production documents, creating a clear sense of the film's style and cinematography. The only issue was sometimes a lack of communication between each person meant certain documents did not 100 percent lineup with each other (like the shot list and the storyboards feature differing shots) but overall, the documents weren’t too inconsistent with each other.

Editing:

I think the picture edit went well. This was my third time using avid (I had previously used it to edit a different scene from “Lethe” and a film of my own) so my this point I had more of an understanding of how to use the software. I tried to create a slow paced edit that generally stayed on the character of Eve as much as possible, as the story is told from her point of view. I feel I could have done a better job with regards to keeping the group up to date as my edit developed and getting their feedback, but I did get some good advice about my second edit from Zoe and group 4 in one tutorial that I took into consideration when working on my third edit.

I also attempted a sound edit using a free trial of Avid Ultimate, which was a good learning experience although ultimately I didn't feel too happy with my finished product. While I managed to raise the levels of the appropriate sounds, and avoided any jarring audio rises or any unnatural silences, I don't think I chose the best background sounds (I used the corridor and general hospital sounds for the whole video, as opposed to just using them at the end. This made the scene feel a bit too busy and overwhelming, and hearing some ambient room noise and beeping sounds throughout instead likely would have been a better choice). Ultimately, I felt the scene worked better before I added these sound effects. My edit didn't manage to export in time as well. We ultimately went with Rosie’s edit, although I still hope to rework mine at a later date.

Crit Feedback:

The logline and synopsis were praised for being intriguing (with regards to the logline), effectively summing up the events of the film (with regards to the synopsis) and overall being well written and well formatted. One shortcoming (or something that group 4 was complimented for having that we didn't have) was not making reference to the movie's style and genre. Additionally, while not necessary, a document describing the key characteristics of the main characters would have been a nice addition.

The rest of the pre production documents were well received. The storyboards by Cal were well drawn and gave a clear idea what the films cinematography would look like (although could have done with some text beneath each image), the costume/prop/set documents by Rosie gave a clear idea of the films style (as did the moodboard, although we were told some comments on each of the images would have helped) and the shotlist by Robbie was well formatted, and clear and concise with regards to what each shot would feature (despite some confusion over some of the abbreviations and the fact the storyboards and the shotlist did not completely line up).

Script Feedback:

(to follow. Apparently, Euan has not received this from Paul, which I will ask about and add once we have gotten the feedback)

Edit Feedback:

Here is the feedback Kieran gave me for my edit, along with my thoughts about it and how I would go about it differently in the future:

“Good professional practice with leader.”

“Atmospheric start, but the out of focus POV shot lasts too long.” - The reason this lasts for so long is to allow the character of Abe to slowly come into focus, to show how Eve is slowly waking up. However, I could definitely start the clip a few more seconds in and maybe cut of a second at the end, or just have a few seconds of a blurry Abe without a change in focus, although that might not be as effective.

“At 01:00:31:00 the scratching of the head doesn’t communicate tension and feels awkward.” - While I initially choose this part of the clip because I thought it would be interesting to have Kane doing something other than silently brooding, thinking about it again, I would agree with this, and would solve it by choosing a different part of the clip where Kane is simply standing still and looking ahead.

“It’s a good 40 seconds before anything really happens, which is too slow.” - I would agree with this - perhaps 20 seconds of build up could have been a good balance?

“Good reveal of the space at 01:00:47:04, using him turning around.” - Previously, this shot had been criticized for being too brief and seeming a bit random compared to the closer up shots used elsewhere. Despite this, I had kept it, as I felt it properly established the geography of the room and showed all the characters in relation to each other, so it was nice to hear Kieran liked this.

“The look at 01:00:59:00 is too short, allow the look to settle for a few frames before cutting to what someone is looking at to make it less jarring.” - I would agree with this. I'm not sure why I cut this so early, maybe the actor only looked over for a second and I worked with what I had, but I imagine more likely than not this was just an oversight.

“This whole section up to 01:02:13:00 is very good, but missing a reaction from him to her asking for the bed pan.” - I think I stayed on the shot of Eve instead of cutting to Kane purely because I liked his line delivery in that shot, but I could have either looked for a shot of Kane with line delivery of a similar quality or cut to Kane reacting to Eve’s line and then cut back to Eve and had Kane’s line.

“The watch pickup ECU is a little quick, as you haven’t established the watch previous to this and it is a key object.” - I would agree with this, and feel it could be solved by either having the watch appear earlier and only having it appear briefly here, or only having it appear here and holding on it longer to make up for that.

“Generally the pace is a little slow at the start and end, and this scene can’t sustain longer than 3 minutes.” - With a runtime of 3 minutes 23 seconds, and Kieran stating the scene couldn't sustain a runtime of over 3 minutes, this was understandably deemed too long. While I was going for a slower pace as opposed to a fast one, it may have been possible to have found a middle ground between the two. With the opening, I have already said that it could be whittled down to about 20 seconds. The ending might have been a bit more difficult to cut down, as it isn't just Eve lying in bed but going across the room and doing various things, but I still think I could have cut it down a bit. This could have been done by minimising the time Eve is simply crossing the room and looking through the bag, and giving a good amount of time to the more important beats, like the watch, the photo ID and the other bed.

Overall Reflection:

I think some more communication could have been a bit better, and we would have benefitted from a few more meetings, just to update each other, make sure we were on the same page and make sure there were no major differences in our work. I personally would have liked to have spent even more time fine turning the script, and getting in a few more drafts, but I am still quite happy with the submitted work. Despite this, I think everyone did a good job at their respective jobs and turned in work of high quality, and I look forward to working on the independent project with this feedback in mind.