#it happened twice on the PS3 emulator

[taonpest]

When will I get to finish blood omen

[breadknight-likes-things]

Bread’s Game Journal 11/09/20: A Disastrous Start But A Strong Finish, My Romantic Relationships, Or The PS3?

A lot of what people remember about the PS3 pertains to it’s extremely unfortunate beginnings.  Immediately marred by some awful creative and technical choices, the PS3 got off to an extremely rocky start, and rapidly lost ground to its competitors, the Xbox 360 and Nintendo Wii.  A lot of this came out of extreme arrogance on Sony’s part, from the infamous “Five Hundred And Ninety Nine U.S Dollars” price point, to the Sixaxis controller desperately trying to copy the Wii while chucking out much beloved features like rumble feedback.  The PS3 very well could have crashed and burned so bad that Sony as a video game maker could have never recovered.

But here’s the thing, it didn’t.  Yes, it did crash, hard in fact, it was doing very poorly and a lot of it’s big exclusive games simply weren’t good enough to justify the thing’s price, but that didn’t last forever.  Eventually, Sony pulled through in a big way with it’s first party games, giving us now modern classics like Uncharted 2: Among Thieves, Ratchet and Clank: A Crack In time, and God of War 3.  To be truthful, however, I wasn’t there for the disastrous half of that ride.

I think about Uncharted 2′s train level twice a day.

When I had to make my choice between the 7th gen console I wanted to get, I made the call to get an Xbox 360.  There were a few reasons for this, games like The Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Halo 3 being some of the biggest ones, but at the time even A huge Sony fanboy like me could only look at the PS3 and see an unaffordable behemoth that didn’t have nearly as many cool looking new games as were releasing on the Xbox 360.  However, around the time the PS3 came out, I was about 14 years old, so it wouldn’t be all that long before I started getting summer jobs.  When that happened, and I suddenly had disposable income, a Playstation 3 was one of the very first things that I bought. As I mentioned briefly above, by that time the PS3 had managed to largely turn itself around in a big way.  The “Slim” model of the console had come out, with a far more attractive $300 price point, and by that point we had started to get more exclusive games, and most of them were very good.  God of War 3, for example, was an epic conclusion to a game series that I had loved dearly on PS2.  Uncharted 2 had refined the rough around the edges gameplay and concept in the first game into an action adventure masterpiece that redefined the concept of a cinematic game experience.  We had even started to get some oddball fare that turned out a lot better than I think people had really expected, like Little Big Planet or the later Resistance games. A series of small, but important wins would end up positioning Sony back in the lead in the ever brewing console wars, but what’s important to think about with the PS3 is just how close they came to messing it all up.  Sony’s arrogance cost them a lot of their customers.  On top of that, their terrible ideas like the “Cell Processor”, a nightmarishly difficult to work with CPU, resulted in a lot of multi-platform games being demonstrably worse on PS3.  To this day you can’t play PS3 games on anything other than a PS3 and select, very limited, emulators, largely because of how cobbled together and jerry rigged a lot of the systems internal hardware was, and the bizarre ways developers were forced to work around that.

Though it came much later in the life cycle, Skyrim is an excellent example of the Playstation 3′s issues with multiplatform games, being loaded with a myriad of game breaking bugs and performance issues that simply weren’t present on the Xbox 360 and PC.

With all the flaws laid bare, and all the mistakes made, it’s then surprising to learn that the PS3 is in fact the top selling video game console of the 7th gen.  Frankly, it deserves that spot.  Sony did so much work to bounce back from their tough place and all the dumb mistakes they made, that the PS3′s eventual success (and by extension, the PS4′s mindshare dominance of the 8th gen) seems more than well earned.  Ironically the polarity of “Arrogant Sony” and “Cool Game Guy Microsoft” would swap near the end of the generation, but we’ll get to that tomorrow with the PS4. The PS3 may not have had a strong start, but it did have a strong finish.  Sony may have flown too close to the sun at the start of the generation, but when they finally managed to fix their problems and give the people what they really wanted, we ended up with one hell a console.  One that I think will be remembered for a long time for its strong lineup, excellent other features (It could play Blu Rays!  It was actually the cheapest Blu-Ray player on the market at $600) and the presence of Modnation Racers specifically....no?  Just me on that last one? Alright, your loss.  #BringBackModNationRacers

Taken from us too soon, R.I.P you deeply underappreciated Kart Racing masterpiece.

[candi-girl]

KH3: Hollower Than Any Toy Review **Minor Spoilers**

I just beat KH3 yesterday. I came out of it feeling a bit disappointed. The game is beautiful and the mechanics are still fun but everything from the story to the boss fights felt a bit lackluster. The last boss fights were extremely easy and did not feel as epic to me as KH2's last boss fights. In fact, I liked KH2's ending way more. I haven't played KH2 in years and I still remember exactly how it goes and how I felt after beating it. After what felt like an eternity of reflecting and deflecting light beams back at Xemnas, Sora and a badly wounded Riku sit hopelessly on the shores of the Realm of Darkness. Suddenly a letter in a bottle with a familiar seal emerges from the dark sea. A light shines, a slowed down piano version of "Sanctuary" plays and we are back in the welcoming and colorful world of Destiny Islands. Donald and Goofy lovingly embrace Sora. His eyes then lock-on to Kairi's, Roxas and Namine's eyes follow suit. This felt wayyyy more emotional than KH3's ending which I struggle to remember even though I beat it today.

Before I go any further, I feel I must preface this especially for a post about KH. No, I haven’t played all the spin-off games but I AM A PASSIONATE FAN of the main games in the series. I played the first one for PS2 at 11 when it came out and I was absolutely blown away and in love. I played KH2 at about 14 and got sucked in all over again. In college, I would play Birth By Sleep in between classes. I played 1.5 for PS3 sometime in college as well. Most recently at 27, I played 0.2 from the "The Story So Far" bundle for PS4. I have tried playing Chain of Memories numerous times on an emulator but couldn't stand the Card System and never got very far or finished it. I've also tried 358/2 on an emulator and I've even tried watching it but never got far with it either. I have skipped Re-coded altogether and as soon as I saw the Dream Eaters Link mechanic in DDD I stopped playing that too. I have played a little bit of the mobile KH game but not for long. Suffice it to say, I'm not into mobile games or games for portable devices. The only 2 games I can recall that I have beaten on a portable device (besides Pokemon games on Gameboy) are Birth By Sleep and FFVII: Crisis Core (both PSP). Generally, I get more immersed in games on a TV screen.

Okay so background out of the way, here is what bothers me about KH3 and probably why KH3's ending didn't make me feel as much as KH2's ending. And let me just say, I know this might not be a problem for others who have played all the games, read all the news and external books, probably follow Nomura on Twitter but I don't do that. When it comes to gaming, here is my process: I see a cool game, I want it, I buy it, I play it, I judge whether I like it based on the content in the game, nothing external. I don't follow any gaming news or actively pursue it. If I happen to have the time I’ll watch E3 and hear about things here and there but mostly, when I pick-up a game, I'm hoping it can be self-contained. So, knowing that about me, you can see why I absolutely loathe that if you haven't played KH DDD, KH Recoded, KH 358/2 Days, KH X (the Foretellers lore stuff) you're missing out on like 3/4 of the story.

Chain of Memories being between KH1 and KH2 irked me but I forgave it because the characters and story were still basically the same. Lock keyholes to protect various worlds from being consumed by darkness, help characters in those various worlds with their problem, stop main baddy from opening up Kingdom Hearts, and don't forget that friends are your strength and light. Nothing is wrong with keeping a story “Simple and Clean” and in fact, I think if a story is simple you can focus on making stronger character arcs and make the game super character driven so that the dangerous stuff that happens to characters IS actually scary and emotional! (Side Note: I also believe that because of the association with Disney, the KH franchise feels like it cannot tackle more mature themes like actual death of loved ones, failure, betrayal, etc. which really holds back what a game about the Heart could explore in a more serious, sophisticated manner. However, games like “Ni No Kuni” still find ways to talk about death, depression and grief in ways that are appropriate for younger audiences so it’s possible to do it, KH!)  

And I know that KH3 pokes fun at itself for having so many different titles in the franchise and I know it tries to get you up to speed but it cheapens the experience when SO MUCH of the story-telling and lore heavily relies on externalities and not the self-contained game. It seriously becomes a hindrance and emotional barrier when #1 I don't know know what's going on (or don’t understand/feel the extent and impact of something that's supposed to be dangerous), #2 don't know characters well enough to care about them and #3 there are no real stakes in the KH world because every game you fight the same goddamn enemies. I don't know all the Organization members like the back of my hand so their deaths don't do anything for me plus you fight them at least twice throughout the series (maybe even more) so that shows that they can always come back. The rules and logic in KH are very fast and loose. It's like playing a game with a child and when they are losing they make something up. And all this "I think I should know this character but I don't remember" dialogue is so cheap. Stop with the amnesia story-lines! Games like Chain of Memories and Re-Coded, that are made for portable devices are made to hold fans over until the big main game comes out. Let’s be real, KH: Re-Coded might as well be called “KH: Re-Sell” because it’s KH one all over again but on the DS. Now there’s nothing wrong with a company re-branding and re-selling a product if they know fully-well that there is a market for it (in the words of Cutler Beckett, “it’s just good business”) but for the love of all things good, DO NOT PLACE INTEGRAL plot points in them that the main games will gloss over. And don't expect me to read Jiminy’s Journal! 

Who is this game for? It plays like a casual game but feels like beginning a story at it’s falling action point. I can’t imagine being a newcomer to this series and playing this game and understanding it. I played the game super slowly, exploring each Disney world thoroughly, trying to take it all in but there is so little KH story given throughout the game. Once I moved on to the Badlands, the actual main KH plot began to unfold. When I first started playing KH3, my gf (who has only played a few hours of the first KH) asked me "so why are you going to other worlds if you're not locking keyholes?" I stumbled on my words to give her an answer. I replied "Sora needs to regain his strength and get the power of waking." She nodded but I knew it sounded kind of stupid. "He looks pretty powerful already!" She said as she watched me defeat hordes of enemies in the first world, Olympus. And that was another thing. I felt super overpowered from the beginning all the way up until the end. When fighting Xehanort all I could think was "that's it?" The game is all about Sora regaining his lost powers and learning the power of waking but you start off super powerful anyway. 

This may be a bit of a tangent but in Final Fantasy X, Yuna started off as the weakest, most feeble, docile character in personality and combat as she is just a white mage. I avoided using her at all costs. I had Lulu for black magic and switched Yuna in only when I really needed Protective magic or healing. However, by the end of the game, Yuna with her fully decked out Nirvana staff, third tier white and black magic, double-cast, and ultima became my most valuable and dangerous character. Not only does she literally become stronger in combat, but her (dare I say it) heart becomes stronger too. She becomes bolder and braver. She starts questioning her religion and the society and world she grew up in. She grows in every sense of the word. Yuna’s character trajectory is one of the most poetic I’ve ever seen and experienced in a game and I absolutely love that it’s FELT both in the combat of the game AND the story. I guess the point I’m trying to make is there should be growth in the character’s development but also growth in the game mechanics and combat. FFX is a game that intertwined both forms of growth organically and I think KH3 really should’ve done that as well. Starting off weak and THEN becoming powerful enough to take on the big baddy in the ending rewards the players for their efforts and also feels way more satisfying. Also, a certain character that begins with “K” and ends with “airi” could’ve EASILY been the Yuna of this game. But once again KH3 repeats the same old ideas over and over again. Also, speaking of Final Fantasy, where are my Final Fantasy characters in KH3??

I know this sounds like a negative review but overall, I actually did enjoy playing KH3 and it was great to see all my favs and like I always say, it always feels like home. I'm definitely not done yet (gotta synthesize ultima, collect all treasures and lucky emblems, reach level 99, and maybe play some mini-games). But ultimately it did not have that emotional impact on me like the first 2 KH's. Maybe I AM too old and broken. Maybe when I replay it one day I'll feel differently. Anyway, see you in 2040 when KH4 comes out!

[mytrumarareviews]

The More I Play the PS4...

The more i realize that this is the worst console generation in history with very few exclusive games.

Aside from getting a few games so that I can justify having bought a PS4 yesterday, there really isn’t much for this console. I mean there’s the already amazing “Final Fantasy XV” and the up coming “The Last of Us 2″. I’ll be getting “Resident Evil 7″ and “Outlast 2″ when it comes out but that’s the thing. I only really bought it for four games. I also play Warframe on it but at the same time that’s only because it was there and I may not even really continue with that because I can’t transfer my stuff over from the PC. The same goes for Smite, which I deleted before it finished with the complete download of the game because I am not going to work up to where I am on PC with that again. So even the Free to Play market is kind of crappy if you just bought a PS4 and haven’t had one since launch.

I mean Stardew Valley is on there, but then again it was created specifically with PC in mind and I already own the PC version of the game, I already own the definitive version of the game so why purchase the PS4 version.

I also found it really scummy that I can’t transfer over PS2 Classics that I bought on the PS3 store, or that they don’t carry over. This happens because there’s a different built in emulator for the PS3 and the PS4. The PS4 has a better emulator. I know because of that it’s a different license, but at the same time they’re tellling me to play for the same game twice if I want to play it on the PS4, which I’m not going to do.

Nor does this console have any ability to play PS1 games, whether it’s through.

Long story short, the PS3 can actually run more games than the PS4. They took a massive step backwards as far as compatibility goes.

[willidleaway]

I know I’m late to this, but since Animal Crossing has been a bit slow: how about those Apple Silicon Macs?

I’m actually old enough to remember the big PowerPC-to-Intel transition of 2005, and I mostly remember being completely taken aback. With the 68k-to-PowerPC transition a decade prior, Apple was moving from relying on a single manufacturer’s CISC architecture to forging a three-way counter-Wintel alliance with a natural successor based on a RISC design (and RISC architecture, you might remember, was going to change everything).

In contrast, the move to Intel seemed like a clear regression. x86 was surely on its way out, to be replaced by Itanium and SPARC and PowerPC and all of these wonderful 64-bit platforms. Each of the major seventh generation home video game consoles (the Wii, the 360, the PS3) was PowerPC-based! [*] Apple’s rejection of it seemed less motivated by clear advantages fundamental to x86, and more forced by the failures of PowerPC development for personal computing (exemplified by the infamous PowerBook G5 that never was). So fifteen years later, this transition away from Intel makes perfect sense—it is far more an Apple thing to do than the transition to Intel ever was.

And Apple now has something better than a counter-Intel alliance; it has a veritable in-house counter-Intel juggernaut whose phone SoC performance is within striking distance of mainstream desktop CPUs. The side benefits of staying on Intel chips, like Boot Camp and Windows virtualisation, just aren’t worth limiting Apple’s control over its own Mac roadmap—not to mention the Hackintosh scene, which Apple finally gets to kill. (Sure, Apple’s fine with tinkering on macOS—as long as it’s on Apple hardware.)

Every architecture change for the Mac has had a sort of buffer for legacy support with the same ingredients: emulation of legacy architecture through recompilation (68k emulator, Rosetta, Rosetta 2) and multi-architecture binaries (68k/PPC fat binaries, Universal, Universal 2). But this time around, I think there are even more mitigating factors for both developers and users. For one, the iOS App Store is almost 12 years old, and Apple switched over exclusively to supporting 64-bit iOS apps in 2017. All of these iOS apps will run on Apple Silicon Macs!

The one place where I wonder a bit is the pro desktops—the Mac Pro just gained back some basic level of sane design and customisability, and Apple SoCs haven’t exactly been designed with customisability in mind in the past. But what’s past is prologue—no less, no more. It would be a big mistake to simply assume we will have A14 chips in new MacBooks, or even any kind of A-series chip. And with custom designs, it will be harder to read Apple’s product roadmap in advance of the announcements.

I’m personally quite excited to see what this means for Mac notebooks. I don’t do serious computational work on Macs (that all happens on remote sessions on Linux workstations) and I mostly don’t play video games on Macs (I have a Linux desktop and a lot of Nintendo handhelds for that). But I still do a lot of not-so-demanding computational work, not to mention LaTeX, email, browsing, messaging, media consumption, etc. The improved power management and added security will probably incentivise me to stay with Mac notebooks after the transition away from Intel. Plus, the improved thermals hopefully mean I won't have to replace another 'top case with battery' assembly like I've had to do with my 2014 MBP and 2017 MacBook (twice!). I'd not be massively surprised to find heat problems at the root of a lot of keyboard and trackpad failures, not to mention premature battery deterioration ...

Will this get other mainstream desktop and laptop manufacturers to shift to ARM-based processors? I don’t know. Microsoft has tried this before with the Surface RT and now the Surface Pro X. I simply don’t think it can work out because Windows prides itself on legacy support in a way that the Mac never has, and a change in processor architecture makes that kind of support much more difficult. ARM-based Chromebooks have caught on a little better, but these are fairly underpowered machines by design. I could picture an ARM-dominated educational market a few years down the road, ruled by MacBooks on the higher-education/STEM side and Chromebooks pretty much everywhere else, but I suspect it will be much more difficult to get ARM to catch on in the enterprise.

[* It is entirely fair to note that in retrospect, Itanium never caught on, and while SPARC and Power ISA have their niches, x86_64 rules over all. The Xbox and PlayStation lines both ditched PowerPC for x86_64 too starting with the eighth generation. Nintendo stayed with PowerPC for the Wii U, but we all know how well that console caught on, and now the Switch runs on a 64-bit ARM SoC.]

[vee-blackwell]

i got a bout of depression that hit tonight from not being distracted enough to avoid getting in my own head and i think i had too many bad thoughts about who i am VS family acceptance

my queer things, my interest things, my (lack of) set goals.

it hurt a lot to try and explain transgender things to my gramma while watching I Am Jazz, when talking about nonbinary people using “they/them” pronouns, she essentially said that if you dont use he/him or she/her then you have no gender “so you’re just nothing” which was just too close to home (literally) for me to hear as someone who doesnt feel anywhere close to any definition of gender, and am definitely not enough % to feel comfortable going on the male side of the binary.

that’s the hard part of that. it seems like it would be easier to tell her i’m bisexual or something (another term that doesnt really match me, but explaining asexuality or the differences between pansexual and bisexual self-identities is another thing thats hard to do with an 86 year old woman). but then what if it changes how she asks me about anyone i hang out with or makes weird assumptions about my relationships?

but at the same time, in watching this show with her, where she’s trying her best to be open-minded and learn about transgender people via watching I Am Jazz, she starts asking me to explain things in the show. not in a negative way, again, shes trying to understand which is more than i could hope for other 80+ year old grandparents. but then she asks me how i know so much about transgender people and issues they face when its things she doesnt expect people i know in real life, close to me, to have dealt with yet. and i have to play the “Educated Ally” instead of the “Depressed, Closeted Transperson” and hope she doesnt go from asking about my friends that are out to wondering about me. because it just makes me fearful of being in another time period of living in an abusive and unsupportive / negligent household where i never feel safe and im constantly arguing with my family. and i dont need that, or even to feel like im risking getting to that point again

i at least want to feel like i wouldnt be kicked out of the house and become homeless, or stop getting money from my family if i came out at all... but how many other transpeople had the same thoughts and were totally wrong? my mom who watched some of the show with us today almost immediately misgendered one of the transgirls on the show, talking about how **she (i dont want to misgender even by quoting my mom) clearly didnt have hormone blockers as long as Jazz because **her voice had changed. and it’s like, alright, she uses a feminine name, looks like any other normal high school girl, and has been working to try and get her voice to pass better, and it’s still so easy for ignorant people like my mom to pick up on that one thing they feel doesn’t fit right and just misgender someone immediately. and it’s worrisome. because i know how easy it is for “the average adult” around my mom’s age to miss the point entirely on how someone works to transition and making their own personal choices

...

im just queer and tired and fearful. my mind screaming at me “do SOMEthing” every time i wake up is like the echo of a broken record player that’s playing somewhere i can barely hear it. so i do something. i get a food. i grab a game. i grab my phone for games. i grab a video, or a game tutorial, or ANOTHER computer game, or i go on social media sites. and i do all these empty “SOMEthings” to mute the bad thoughts like the ones above. the ones that both overwhelm me into submission and also make me numb to any emotions.

i get bored of the phone game, the magickarp jump cooldown timers are all that’s left.

i get bored of harvest moon, after realizing that i was 1 floor away from the bottom of the mines last time i get frustrated. do i go back for it again and make the long boring trek, or do i go back to grinding cooking recipes so i can finally make that god damn tempura meal? each day passes as quickly or as stagnantly as i please thanks to my emulator. freeze time and do my daily farm chores, use the inventory item dupe glitch to keep stocked every gift item i need to give everyone, show everyone on the local islands my pets for bonus friendship points, unfreeze time so that the one fisherman character will finally show up to talk to and i give him his daily gift and show him my dog, i go fishing with frozen or unfrozen time as i choose. the day is done. time for the next one.

i get bored of the computer games that both tantalize me into playing them because i love them and want the mental stimulation, yet the other screens beckon to me stronger, and i sit on the 3 blue hellsites, toggling between them in mixed intervals.

i get bored of neopets, because it is after midnight and its the 3rd day in the row i forgot to do my dailies. god DAMMIT i’m never going to get trudy’s shitty 30 day bonus spin for those 100k neopoints if i keep this up. i go onto the help boards, and bump up the lottery board. copy and paste my old post, add the moneybag emoticon and congrats the winners. short list gives the UNs. long list gets generalized. the regular group of lottery players and bumpers congratulate and recognize each other, making the odd chat message about their lives. this is as far as i chat on the neoboards now because i have no social energy otherwise to talk to other neopets friends about how life is still depressing, and trying to speak around the child filters and character limits.

i go to my mom’s room, its hard to predict if she’ll be home at 5 pm or 8 pm or 11 pm or gone to her shitty boyfriend’s house. it had been GTA V. then crash bandicoot warped (ps3 port). and now skyrim with the DLC. i play it as i spend my life, there are markers telling me where i should go for quests to progress, yet i wander aimless around the world finding something more interesting to explore until i finally remember what i meant to do. my mom comes home, and i ask if she wants me to get out so she can sleep. she says its fine, and leaves the lamp on shining on her bed. it becomes after midnight, my gramma scolds me for staying in there when my mom is sleeping. while i agree, my hyperfocus is hard to break, and it still takes me more time than it should to simply save and quit in the middle of my doing nothing of importance in the game that i play for the middle of my doing nothing of important in my life.

i eat wherever i spend my activity. TV tray by my bed at all times now, my propel bottle sways like a top heavy asshole everytime its moved. the tissue box takes up space for food, but everytime i move it on my bed its either in the way or not close enough to use when i need it. my nose is still almost ready to bleed from the dry summer air. im still dehydrated because i lack the ability to remember to drink the juice, milk, or propel bottles within arms reach.

it’s 3 am, or probably later. i ask joey if it’s time to sleep. i take my melatonin, we both brush our teeth and say goodnight. am i lying to him again this night, and apologizing and saying i’ll do it for real? this could happen twice before the guilt takes over and i either cave and do it for real, or stay awake focused on my daily nothingness distractions.

on the days its 5 am or later, my mom wakes for work. we talk about the cat. we always talk about the cat. sometimes she says her work is shit and that shes in pain. things that are obvious. she leaves for work and says goodnight to me in the hopes i go to sleep soon.

i sleep. around 11 am to 1 pm is around the time i get woken for my medications. anxiety, depression, birth control pill (1 daily for 3 weeks at a time). i have to eat and drink with it, so its something simple. on bad days i fall back asleep for over an hour. like a sloth, i drag the tray of food to me, resting the plate or bowl on my bed to eat as i stay laying down. sitting up means i feel more obligated to stay awake after this. i finish the food, drink, and my pills, and shove the tray back against my closet, and lie back down in bed forcing myself to sleep.

it becomes anywhere from 3 pm to 5 pm, on bad days its 6 and later. i lay in bed after waking up maybe two or three other times from sweating, or tossing and turning with bad dreams or being awake enough that i could get up, but unmotivated or too depressed to get up and have to be awake for that much more time. i crawl to the computer first, turning off my nightly music and going online on steam. just so whoever cares knows im awake. i go adjust the thermostat as both i need as well as what wont freeze my gramma to death (or at least to complaining for hours). i say that i dont know what i want for food. she offers a suggestion, and i say sure. i return to my room until food is brought to me, and i grab juice or milk to have with my meal. it probably gets cold if it was meant to be eaten hot.

i get a food. i grab a game. i grab my phone for games. i grab a video, or a game tutorial, or ANOTHER computer game, or i go on social media sites. and i do all these empty “SOMEthings” to mute the bad thoughts like the ones above. the ones that both overwhelm me into submission and also make me numb to any emotions. the pattern repeats.

...

this has been Vee Life Simulator. sorry. no refunds.