#it got really erratic towards the end but his thought process is just too deranged to verbalize

[1im-perfect1]

Thinking about Nandor and his word choice how much of an open book in a foreign language he is, how he wears his heart on his sleeve while not even comprehending his own decisions and motives and him being dumb not stupid.

The sound effect in 3x08 when he says “I relinquish you of your service” it’s genuine all of season 3 is him slowly changing his behavior with Guillermo and the whole “vampirism is a curse” feels real and genuine because he’s being disingenuous, he has to tell 1 truth and 3 lies “I care about you” drowned by “My cold dead heart” a lie “your just okay personality” another lie “just a little bit” the biggest lie after the heaviest truth, from then on familiar is used as an insult he doesn’t really think of Guillermo that way, 3x09 and 3x10 are all about Nandor playing a part (and all of season 4), 3x09 is pure survival and self-preservation he’s hurting so it means it’s everyone else’s fault, they’re all beneath him and still underneath all the coping there’s tenderness that spills out with Guillermo (that he was so scared was gonna grow apart and instead Nandor is the one that constantly tries to get away).

3x10 is the most strategic Nandor and the most serious we see him, he’s carrying out a plan and that’s why I don’t think Nandor is as stupid or oblivious (as the show might make you think) he knows Guillermo enough to play him, he starts talking about leaving when he hears the door opening, he knows he hasn’t told anything to Guillermo (he would have been the first to know), he mocks him about not being a vampire and giving him one last duty, but at the same time has already a goal in mind he finds someone to plan the journey to rid Guillermo of having to work, he gets a little too excited when he sees Guillermo because he’s getting really happy about it to then before the fight recompose himself and go back into character telling things that would make Guillermo mad, the “You shooed away some assassins who gives a shit” is such a dead giveaway after him fighting a whole month to save Guillermo’s life and how grateful he was about having his life saved also I’m 75% convinced that he knew about the hypnosis...tiny problem he underestimated Guillermo’s reaction but I also think that’s why Nandor is so interested in him, he’s unpredictable.

But Nandor can’t predict others’ actions (Laszlo’s) and can't see through anyone else's lenses so the only way he can explain to himself why Guillermo didn’t come is outright rejection, it’s setting yourself up for failure "the worst outcome" accepting it without listening because you have to come to peace with it, knowing that if you heard it from that person it would tear you apart so you forgive because you don’t want to hear it. But how does he get Guillermo to stay now? He relinquished him of his service in 3x08 so he’s not his employee anymore and in 3x10 he gave him his last duty...mmm he’s been really lonely lately...without...him...check mate, he’s gonna propose in the same exact way as last time but this time to be his best man hoping that he will be jealous...he isn’t...Guillermo’s gonna stop him because it’s too hasty and ridiculous...he doesn’t...he’s gonna ask him impossible stuff for the wedding...he gets everything and also gets Nadja and The Guide to help him...he’s gonna object to the wedding...he’s the only person that doesn’t, well at least Nandor got what he wanted but his wife stops him from spending time with Guillermo and he has a boyfriend, if Guillermo likes his boyfriend what if he likes Guillermo’s boyfriend too but he can’t steal him away that would be cruel and he’s not a cheater, if there’s 2 of the same thing are there 2 or just 1? Everything is resolved him and Guillermo like the same thing but they’re not the same thing but they are, Guillermo is being confusing first he says they are the same thing but when Nandor tries to give him his Freddie he says it’s different, this isn’t fun anymore...well everything is back to normal and it’s wonderful isn't it? Guillermo isn’t his familiar, nor bodyguard, nor best man but here he is and single too...should he question why he’s still there or why he wants him there...nah

[enbyhoneyfluff]

The Day That Never Ended!

[this is not the whole fic, but this is just a scene I suddenly got a burst of inspiration for]

CW: Alcohol, drunk driving

Gyro let out a sigh, sitting at a table in the Punxadowny bar with Donald’s cousins-- Gladstone and Fethry. Their names have been drilled into his mind from seeing them frequent this bar day after repeated day. It’s only been about ten loops, but the repetition is already grating on his nerves. So much of each loop had to be wasted attempting to explain his situation to Mr. McDuck, and no matter how much progress he made trying to find a way out, it was pointless. Even if he wrote something down, come 6 AM, it would be gone. Like it never happened. It was getting old really, really fast.

Turning the glass of cider in his hand, Gyro mused, “You know... one day, I had a stroke of luck. I had just created Lil’ Bulb, and I decided to take him out on the town. I got coffee from my favorite cafe, at a discount because I filled out the punch card. There was a sale on circuit boards and tools at the electronics store. Lil’ Bulb fell in love with a string of Christmas lights. I went back to the lab, and I managed to finish a voice-activated toaster in a mere four hours. I ordered takeout, and it arrived just a minute over the deadline, so I got it for free. And at the end of the day, Lil’ Bulb fell asleep on my shoulder.”

Fethry was listening intently, while Gladstone barked out a dim laugh, downing his glass. Gyro rolled his eyes, getting to his point. “That was a pretty good day. Why couldn’t I have gotten that day over and over and over?”

Silence fell over the table, the only noise in the bar being the radio playing quietly in the background. After a moment, Fethry leaned forward, holding up his glass. He had already downed half of his drink (his third drink, really), and he gestured at the line in the middle. “You know, Dr. Gearloose, there are some who would say this glass is half-empty. Some would say it’s half-full. You seem more of a glass half-empty kind of guy.”

Gyro narrowed his eyes, and cast his gaze on the two half-duck cousins. “What would you do,” he asks abruptly, “if you were stuck in one place, and everything was exactly the same, and nothing you did mattered?”

He’s struck a nerve. Gladstone cleared his throat and glanced away, and Fethry winced, the memories of the deep sea lab almost reflected in his eyes. It’s clear to them that the conversation is over. Gyro frowned, and he averted his gaze, something already shifting inside him.

He downed the rest of his drink.

-------

The three of them stumbled out of the bar, Fethry struggling to find the key to his car on the keyring. It takes Gladstone taking the keys from him and picking out a lucky guess before he can even try to unlock the doors, but even then he has difficulty. He’s not turning it the right way, Gyro noted, merely watching the scene play out before him.

Gladstone gets sick of watching Fethry’s plight after a few moments, and he pulled him back, forcing him to meet his eyes. “Okay, that’s it, Feth. Gimme your keys. Come on, hand ‘em over.”

Fethry doesn’t resist, though he fumbles while passing them over to Gladstone. The gander wagged a scolding finger at his cousin, admonishing, “Friends don’t let friends drive.”

“Alright, just stand there and take a deep breath.” He steadied Fethry, who swayed on the spot, and complied with Gladstone’s directions. He held the breath, waiting for permission to exhale, but Gladstone hadn’t picked up on that. “You good? You feel alright?”

Fethry nodded.

“Good. ...Oh, you can breathe again.” Gladstone added, crossing around to the driver’s side of the car.

With an exhale, Fethry stumbled again, propping himself against Gyro. The chicken grimaced, leaning back and narrowing his eyes. The loon wasn’t looking particularly healthy at the moment, and that didn’t bode well. “Do you want to throw up out here or in the car?” He snarked, resting a hand on his hip.

Furrowing his brows, like the question needed serious consideration, Fethry hesitated... then glanced up at Gyro with a grimace. “I think both?” Great. Just brilliant. Gyro scoffed and rolled his eyes, grabbing Fethry by the shoulders and started to escort him towards the car door. Without warning, the car lurched forward, before it went into reverse, leaving the pair behind. But only for a few seconds, as Gladstone pulled forward again, rolling down the window to blink blearily at Gyro.

“I don’t think I should be driving.”

“No. No, you definitely shouldn’t.” Gyro deadpanned, pulling open the passenger side door and shoving Fethry unceremoniously into the middle seat. Gladstone stumbled across to the passenger side, allowing Gyro to take the wheel instead. “Everyone make sure to buckle your seatbelts.” He reminded, starting up the car and beginning to drive off.

They drove in silence for a few moments, before Fethry piped up again. “Who else could go for some flapjacks right about now?”

Nobody responded.

Gyro’s hands twitched on the wheel, and he frowned. A question bubbled to the surface of his mind, one that had been simmering since their earlier conversation. “Let me ask you two something. What if there were no tomorrow?”

“No tomorrow?” Gladstone quirked a brow, and even Fethry turned his full attention to Gyro. “That would mean there would be no consequences. No hangovers, no awkward morning-afters...”

“We could do whatever we wanted!” Fethry chimed.

Gyro’s eyes widened for a moment, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. He pushed his glasses up and nodded. “That is true. We could do... whatever we want.” Whatever had been shifting inside him finally snapped, and his grip on the wheel tightened, swerving into the nearest mailbox and taking it out. Envelopes went flying, and the duck cousins let out a startled shout.

“Hey, hey, Screwloose, if we wanted to hit mailboxes, I would have called Launchpad and let him drive!” Gladstone shouted, leaning across Fethry to try to grasp onto Gyro’s arm. Paying him no mind, Gyro continued his erratic driving through the town, taking out another mailbox in the process.

Through the rear-view mirror, he saw a pair of headlights come to life, and were soon followed by a red and blue flashing. He’d attracted the attention of the police. Good. That would be the perfect way to test his new theory. Ignoring the blare of the sirens, swerving his way through the empty roads of the late night town, Gyro kept on driving.

Fethry gulped, gripping his seat and glancing at Gyro. He had seen the chicken in his feverish moods before, but this was unheard of even for him. “Dr. Gearloose? I-- I think they want you to stop.” Gyro didn’t even respond, like he hadn’t heard Fethry at all.

Continuing the chaotic rampage, Gyro started on a tirade. “It’s always the same thing your whole life! Clean up your room, stand up straight, pick up your feet! If you wanna be a man, then learn to take it like a man! Be nice to the investors, Gyro! Stop making inventions that turn evil!”

With one more angry swerve, he drifted to a stop... on the railroad crossing. With a determined glare, Gyro revved up the car, with one last bullet point: “Oh, yeah. Don’t drive on the railroad tracks!”

Gladstone’s eyes widened, his breathing quickening as he looked at Fethry. Their eyes met and silently they agreed on one thing. Gyro had lost it. “Uh--” Gladstone wet his lips, his voice wavering with a hint of anxiety. Even he wasn’t sure if his luck could get them out of this one. “Gyro, that’s one I happen to agree with.”

A deranged grin crossed Gyro’s beak and he shifted gears, slamming his foot down on the gas. The car lurched forward, bumping along the tracks as fast as the uneven terrain would allow. “What’s the matter, Gander? I thought you weren’t afraid of taking big chances.”

“This is the police! Pull over immediately!”

Great. They’d turned on the loudspeaker. Gyro growled, and Fethry whirled around in his seat. “Hey, we’re trying to talk in here!”

Suddenly, another light came into view directly ahead of them. Gladstone’s heart leapt into his throat, and Fethry’s eyes widened. Gyro kept speeding forward, with no signs of stopping. With another anxious gulp, Fethry glanced at his cousin. “Do you think they’ll swerve first?”

Gladstone was silent, glancing between Fethry and Gyro, and the oncoming train. He wasn’t swerving. He still wasn’t swerving. Dammit, why wasn’t he swerving?! Fethry and Gladstone started to scream, grabbing onto each other, and the gander just prayed to Lady Luck that somehow they’d get out of this alive--

And Gyro finally swerved, the car leaping off the tracks and down the hill. The cousins were still clinging onto each other, trying to gather their bearings, while Gyro just cackled in exhilaration. “I’m not going to live by their rules anymore!” He shouted, as if he had triumphed over some unseen obstacle.

“Yeah, we noticed that!” Gladstone grimaced, still shaking from the rush of adrenaline.

“You make choices and you live with them!” Gyro laughed, his tone ever so slightly unhinged. Yep. The chicken had finally cracked. With one final crash, the car finally came to a stop in an overnight parking lot, and they were quickly surrounded by police cars.

Gladstone clutched at his chest, taking in deep breaths, and Fethry quivered beside him, fighting back waves of nausea. At least they’d finally stopped. What more could go wrong? An officer began to approach the car, and Gyro rolled down the window, muttering, “I’ll handle this.”

The officer leaned over their car, shining a flashlight into the vehicle as the three birds looked up at them. Gyro leaned casually out the window, a smug grin on his face as he spoke, “Can we get, uh, three cheeseburgers, two fries, two sodas and a large chocolate shake?”

Desperate to relieve some of the tension, Fethry leaned over and made his own addition: “And some flapjacks!”

“Too early for flapjacks?” Gyro went with it, batting his eyelashes innocently at the officer. The dog just stared at them, an unamused expression fixed on their face. Clearly not in the mood for jokes.

Gyro found himself escorted into a jail cell, but he still didn’t have a single regret. Going to bed somewhere besides the B&B would be the perfect chance to test his theory.

---END---