#it genuinely shocks me how many ppl don’t know the basics of how their body works

[sadlazzle]

part of a functioning healthcare system is educating ppl on the basic layout of their bodies so they don’t end up going to the doctors for a mildly upset tummy

[mysticpenguincreation]

MTV The Challenge 34, ep. 5 recap

I wanted to post many little snippets as usual, but I watched with a friend and couldn’t pause the ep.

Now I’m too tired to parse this one huge note I made, so I’m gonna recap the highlights of this ep in points.

1. ‘Don’t play Paulie’s game, play your own game Josh’ (c) Johnny Bananas. Kind of hypocritical to say that, because by saying that you’re essentially manipulating him into playing YOUR game. It’s nothing new because this is how this game IS PLAYED. In fact it is A GAME, so this tactic is, in fact, is a GOOD game tactic. However, if Josh doesn’t understand he’s being played, he’s got no brainsells whatsoever.

2. This is basically a verbal tug-of-war between Johnny/Paulie and Josh is like a rope between them. It’s hilarious, but at the same time I feel so bad for the poor boy, he looks like he’s gonna explode 😬😬😬

3. I remember how in the very beginning when Bananas tried to recruit Zach, the latter literally screamed how he wants to stay out of huge scandals and play his own game. (Considering his constant shif talk behind ppls’ backs, he’s not doing a very good job). He was recruited anyway to be Bananas’ cannon fodder. Supposedly, Zach is not in Bananas’ alliance now after his shady business with Wes last season? So, he’s basically now on his own, it’s what he wanted since the very beginning. But at the end of the day, when it comes to voting and plotting, he is STILL one of Bananas’ votes. I really wanna bet how long Zach will last until he becomes Johnny’s bitch again.

4. Zach belittling Ninja. Zach belittling a woman. What’s fucking new. Sometimes I imagine picking up a very dirty sock and shoving it down his throat until he chokes 🙄

5. Let’s again ‘assume’ that someone should be THE BEST at certain things, or better AT EVERYTHING, and drag them through the mud for that. A.k.a. everyone against TURBO OF ALL PEOPLE. The literal beast and cinnamon roll all in one package. He is not SUPPOSED to be a superhuman and be perfect at EVERYTHING. It’s funny to see how mediocre people (read between the lines: Zach) are degrading him for doing THIS ONE THING decently, but not excellent. Or Tori screaming at Turbo, like you’re good, but not that good, so shut the fuck up. Or Jordan. I genuinely like Jordan most of the time, but we all KNOW that you are in Top 3 best swimmers on the Challenge and this man you’re making jokes about is swimming long distance for the first time in his life. As any physical activity it takes TRAINING to be the best at something. Don’t tell me you were miraculously granted the gift of swimming like a dolphin the first time your body touched the water. It doesn’t happen like that. So, please, kindly. Shut it.

6. Bear gloating about ‘smoking’ Leroy in swimming Challenge is honestly is one of the most pathetic things I’ve ever seen. Like, Leroy several times pointed out that he is not a good swimmer. In fact, on the first few Challenges he didn’t even know HOW to swim and even made jokes about learning swimming by watching videos on YouTube. It’s not like Leroy of all people would be so hard to beat in a Challenge that involves mostly moving through water. If anything, I would like to point out how fucking PROUD I am of Leroy actually keeping up with Bear! The man is doing good, he really does care and prepares himself for these things.

7. Is it a shock? I honestly would have been surprised if Jordan hadn’t won. As I already said, he’s up in the Top 3 swimmers, after all.

8. I wish Wes was still around SO BAD. Both in general, AND for this Challenge. I LIVE for Wes + water challenges. It’s also so hot how he almost never wears lifesaving jacket in those. Ugh, love this man. Miss him so much💔 At least, we’ve been blessed with one water Challenge + Wes this season 🙏🏻

9. Wtf? I thought it was obvious UK won?!?!?!?! How come USA are still on top after fucking up so greatly?

10. Cara’s ex-friends: ‘Paulie is bad and toxic for you. You’re not you around him. He maipulates you. You’ve changed for worst’.

Paulie’s friends: ‘Cara is bad and toxic for you. You’re not you around her. She maipulates you. You’ve changed for worst’.

Me: ...Seems like match made in Heaven to me. They really deserve each other, don’t they?🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

11. Another precious thing we lost to Paulie: Cara/Bananas friendship. They were doing so well!!!😭😭😭

12. Rogan and Theo comparing dicks are frustrating and boring.

13. Cara silently making that face during other team’s discussion —-> 😏 .....ugh😣

14. Seems like Kyle... got brains? Who knew.

15. Don’t see lots of Kaileygh this season 😑🤔

16. I’m so fucking tired of people voting their own teammates in🙄😐😠

17. I am genuinely surprised that Jordan believed Paulie and didn’t see his betrayal coming. Paulie’s always been Cara’s puppy, going after people that are ‘against her’. Jordan definitely should have figured it out 🙄

18. Theo is too fucking huge for this cage. Is he even able to untangle his limbs?

19. Laurel looses to a technicality. Bananas looses to a technicality. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not upset about them leaving. This trope is just getting old.

20. Nany supporting Bananas is cute ❤️ No matter what.

21. TJ seriously helped Bananas? Is he even allowed to do this?

22. I would have wanted Johnny to stay just to see him switch teams.

23. Bananas wanted to win for Leroy? Don’t make me laugh. You’re trying to win for MONEY. They all are. Let’s at least be honest about that. Also it is quite insulting to Leroy. Bananas literally implied that without him Leroy won’t make it to the final. Not that it’s completely untrue, but Leroy’s always been a good competitor, I just think he doesn’t put serious effort into the game, that’s all.

P. S. FINALLY, I want Paulie to lose SO BAD 😫😫😫

P. P. S. I really am not interested in watching after Wes gone, but I do it anyway out of habit.

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye