#it gave me a lovely opportunity to ramble bout the show!

[itsza]

YOUVE SEEN WE ARE LADY PARTS ⁉️

YESSS!!! it was a very entertaining watch! it felt really good to be able to see parts of myself in the diff characters. I liked how the show didn't introduce any unnecessary conflicts at the last moment. As a brown girl i hope more such shows are made and im looking forward to season 2!

[mackeydoodledoo]

I Only Swim Free: Chapter 4

Pairing: Bela Dimitrescu x (Fem!)Reader

Summary: You’ve done swimming all your life. You’ve gotten to your dream college on a scholarship for your outstanding freestyle technique back in high school. Relationships never crossed your mind however, that was before you met your swim team captain: Bela Dimitrescu.

Warning: Jealousy, heavy couple-arguments, relationship-neglection

A/N: Rather than having this be a one chapter story, I decided to make this thing a whole series!

“Lost Boys” - Ocean Park Standoff

--------------------------------------------

You jolt awake to the sound of your door being knocked on. Groggy, you get up and slowly pace around your apartment to get to the door. Once you open it, Bela is on the other side.

“Bela?” you ask, rubbing your eyes, “It’s almost 3 am, what’s going on?”

“Can I stay here?” She asks, “My boyfriend and I got into an argument and I didn’t feel like staying and- this was the only place I could think of. May I?”

“Yeah, of course,” You say, your eyes halfway open

You could tell that she was wearing your hoodie you gave her your first day of practice the other week.

“You want anything?” You ask, grabbing a snack out of the pantry

“Pass,” She says as she sits on your bed

“You want to talk about it?” You ask, sitting next to her

“When I got back my boyfriend was super drunk,” She begins, “He kept on rambling how I’m beginning to get all touchy and close to you... “

You are though... But, I’m not against it or anything...

“I just... You’re my close friend and I do the exact same thing with all of my other girls,” Bela sighs, “But you- I don’t know why he has a problem with you...”

“Well, let me tell you something,” You start, “I don’t give an absolute damn about what your boyfriend thinks of me. He shouldn’t be having this much control over who you decide to hug, chat with or even be friends with. If I’m going to be honest, he sounds toxic...” 

Bela sighs as she falls back into your bed, embracing its warmth. She groans as she covers her entire face with the both of her hands.

“Why haven’t you broken up with him yet?” You ask

“Because I’m afraid he’ll turn into one of those kinds of crazy exes and then he’ll hurt me and my family, my friends... You,” Bela sighs

“Me?” You ask, “Why would you be worried about me? I can sure handle myself in a fight. I should know.”

You try to play it off as a ‘hero’ kind of tone. But, when you look back down at Bela, she isn’t smiling.

“Because I care about you,” Bela confesses, “Since you joining the swim team, you were the first one ever to show to me that life is just more than swimming.”

“Like?” You ask

“I need to detach from the world every now and then,” She says, “Especially that night I found you on the rooftop.”

“That huh?” You ask, sighing, “I’m not one for parties...”

“I know,” She sighs

You fall back into your bed and offer your arm as a pillow for her. She lays her head against your arm and turns to you.

“Of all my relationships, you’re the only one who’s shown me respect and human decency.” Bela also confesses

“Bela, we’re not dating,” You say, “But, even so, why wouldn’t I?”

“Because all the boys would just bend to my will, I know it’s toxic of me to have them do so but, I want someone who would fall for me, for me.. You know?”

You nod, “Well, I always fall in love with the personality.”

“And?... My personality?” She asks you

“Well, you’re amazing in and out Bela,” You smile, “You’re the coolest gal I’ve ever become friends with. My captains from high school weren’t this close with me.”

“Really?” She asks, “Why not?”

“Cliques in the team,” you sigh, “After the season, none of us ever really got together other than at the banquet a couple weeks later.”

“Hmm,” Bela sighs, scooting in closer to you, “Have you ever... slept with a woman?”

“I wouldn’t say slept with in the terms you’re talking about,” You sigh, “Just cuddling maybe making out... But that’s it. So in other words, no.”

Everything was silent from there. But, Bela still huddles into your embrace. However, you take the opportunity to change into your pajamas. Bela pretty much makes herself at home and is already under your blanket. 

“You’re also welcome here if you need an escape from your boyfriend,” You whisper in Bela’s ear as you hop under the covers with her

She cuddles into your embrace as you begin wrapping your arms around her. Not too long after you manage to get her to fall asleep. The same goes for yourself. As you watch the sunrise peek through your windows you look down at Bela who was still fast asleep in your arms. You couldn't help but crack a slight smile. You move some hair out of her face and place a gentle kiss at the middle of her forehead. She begins to stir and looks up at you with half-opened eyes.

"Morning," she says, smiling

"Morning," you reply back, "Hungry?"

She nods but cuddles into your further, "But, that can wait. Let's just stay here..."

Just as you were about to get situated in her embrace, you could hear a phone ringing. At first the both of you ignored it however, it became persistent. Bela looks at it and groans when she sees her boyfriend's name across the screen. She finally caves in and answers the phone.

"Where the hell are you?" He asks, "I've been searching for you all night."

"Sorry, after the argument I decided to stay with a friend," Bela sighs, “I had no mood to go back into your fraternity house..."

"That’s fine, but it better not be at that kids' dorm," he says, "Can we talk it out during brunch? On me."

"Maybe," she says, hanging up

The puts her phone back onto the nightstand and groans in frustration.

"I'm pretty sure your boyfriend doesn't sound too happy?" You ask

"He feels bad," Bela says, "Maybe I will take him up on that offer..."

"Alright," you say, without trying to sound butt-hurt, "If anything happens I'm only a call away."

"Thanks y/n," she smiles

Bela leaves after changing into a simple outfit for the day and leaves you to your lonesome. You decided to get your work done, at least whatever remaining work you had to do. You wanted to save your photo assignment for last. Hoping you could get Bela to be your model. However, realizing you had photo class the next day, you began losing hope of getting to do a photoshoot with Bela. After a couple of hours you finally finish your school work and decide to watch some of your favorite youtubers play various games. You were currently watching Markiplier play Papers, Please when you noticed your phone going off. You pick it up immediately when Bela’s icon came up.

“Bela?” You call for her, when you hear crying, “Are you okay?!” 

“He isn’t picking up,” Bela sniffles, “I think he stood me up... I know your calf is injured but-but can you come get me?”

“I could care less if my calf is injured, don’t worry love, I’ll come get you,” You say, reassuringly

You slip on your calf brace and slip on some shoes and grab your car keys and rush out the door.

Bela gives you the address to the restaurant that Bela and her boyfriend had agreed to meet up at. You see Bela sitting along the curb just outside of the restaurant, her head in her hands. You stop your car and hop out.

“Bela,” You say

She looks up at you and practically jumps into your arms, sobbing into your shoulder.

“Shhhh,” You coo, stroking her blonde locks, “It’s okay.. It’s okay..”

“He didn’t even call me,” Bela cries

“You know what?” You ask, pulling Bela away to look at her

“What?” She asks

“Would you possibly want to hang out with me instead?” You ask, trying not to sound like a weirdo, “We can do anything you want really. I may not be your boyfriend Bela, but I absolutely hate seeing you torn because of this guy.”

“Sure,” She tries to smile at you but to no avail

“We’ll make it a night you will remember for the ages,” You try to sound optimistic

You made your last stop at a grocery store for some stuff for home as you had just remembered you hadn’t done that yet. You look out to the sky and notice the sun beginning to set. With the time you had remaining, you quickly change the song to “Lost Boys” by Ocean Park Standoff

Let’s take the night off From caring ‘bout tomorrow Let’s take our minds off the things we can’t control Let’s take our clothes off and jump into the ocean Don’t know where we’re going But. it’s somewhere out there!

On occasion you would look over to Bela and you’d see her smiling from ear to ear; enjoying the music you had put on for the both of you. 

We got our whole lives left To make some memories

As you continue singing your heart out, Bela could help but notice that whenever the sunlight would hit you, your eyes would glow a perfect shade of honey. You were driving so she couldn’t kiss you right then and there.

“What is it Bela?” You ask, finally having the change to look at her

What you had noticed, the sunlight hitting Bela, you could see her eyes shining a perfect shade of bright gold and you were sure her eye color was hazel.

“Nothing,” Bela blushes before facing forward again

“Oh! Before the sunsets fully! I need your help with something for photo class!” You blurt out

“What?” She asks

“I need to do photos of something nostalgic but at golden hour,” You tell her, “Or at least that is the theme I’m going for! I need a model for this and I couldn’t think of anyone else but you! What do you say?”

“I’ll help y/n!” She smiles

“I know a perfect spot!” You smile, putting ‘pedal to the metal’

In short time, you reach the spot you had planned; a ‘secret’ spot in the state park that had a lakeside. 

“Oh my gosh...” Bela gasps, hopping out of your car, “This is beautiful! How’d you fin this place?”

“I do some research and I’d sometimes come here when I want to feel alone,” You explain, “You’re actually the very first person I’ve brought here.”

“Me?” She asks, “Why am I the first person?”

“I don’t know,” You shrug, “This was the first place I thought of. Okay! Let’s do photos before it’s too dark!”

You do the pictures and Bela looks through them. The both of you agreed that they were perfect.

“Exactly how I pictured them in my head,” You smile, “Thanks Bela.”

The both of you just watch the sunset over the horizon, the both of you laying your heads gently against each other.

“Can we go back to your place?” Bela asks, “I don’t want to go home just yet.”

“Yeah, sure, you want food on the way back?” You ask

She nods, “But, you pick.”

You just get some pizza on campus and finally reach back to your apartment. The both of you were watching a movie and sitting on your couch. Bela leans onto your shoulder as the both of you continue watching the movie. 

“Do you think he no longer loves me?” Bela asks

“I wish I had the answer for that one Bela,” You sigh, gently rubbing her arm, “But hey, if anything happens you have the team, your sisters, your mother... And me.”

You hear Bela slightly chuckle and slings her arm across your midsection. You smile, knowing you had helped her, even though you two only had met a couple of months ago. 

Realizing what time it was, you begin preparing for bed, Bela decided to stay over again.

“If I’m gone by the time you wake up you can stay if you choose or you can leave,” You say, hopping into bed, “Just remember to lock the door.”

Bela nods as she against follows you into your bed and snuggles herself into your arms. 

“Goodnight Bela,” You say, giving her a forehead kiss

“Goodnight y/n,” She yawns

It was a restless night for Bela. She began overthinking about how her boyfriend stood her up earlier in the day, almost landed his hand across her face during that party months ago. She didn’t want to wake you up as she was aware you had morning classes mere hours later. 

By the time she actually got a decent amount of sleep, you were long gone. She slips on one of your hoodies that had your scent on it and groggily walks into your kitchen. She looks upon the counter and notices a note next to a coffee mug.

Thought you might want some coffee. Not sure how you like your coffee but I have creamer in the fridge and sugar up in the cupboard. I cooked food for you but they’re in the fridge, I didn’t want them to go bad so just warm them up. I’ll see you at practice Bels. - Y/n

She smiles from ear to ear as you had gotten up way earlier than expected just to cook yourself breakfast. but not only for you, but for her too. 

“Oh y/n,” Bela blushes

You were attempting to swim butterfly during practice however, you weren’t getting the arms right and you were looking for Bela to give you some pointers however, she was nowhere to be seen...

“Hey coach,” You swim over to the edge of the pool

“Yes y/n?” Donna looks up at you

“Have you seen the captain?” You ask

“She called earlier before practice and told me she wasn’t feeling to good, but she told me she’ll be at it tomorrow,” She explains

Hmm... That’s odd of Bela to miss practice... Oh well, I’ll check my phone after practice. 

You skip the shower and just put on some sweats and your swim jacket. You immediately go through your phone and see a bunch of missed calls from Bela, and only one voice message. When you listen through it, you beeline it out of the sports center and back to your apartment.

Chapter 5

[obsessionsposts]

✖𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠✖P.2

[ Ｂｙ ａｌｌ ｍｅａｎｓ， ａｓｋ． Ｙｏｕｒ ｃｏｎｔｅｎｔ ｉｓ ｍｙ ｏｂｊｅｃｔｉｖｅ． ：- ）] the A.I responded with his screen changing into a smiley face to demonstrate his willingness.

"Well, aren't you a gentleman." She giggled at his behavior. 'Oh, god. Don't fall in love with a computer. Stay focused.'

Her flustered pink blush, warmed his circuits. It's a shame, that he'll have to lie to his....lover? That he don't know, but what he knows is that he will not let her go.

He can't bare her absence, most of all her inevitable death. Maybe, uploading her conscience into his mainframe will do. That way, she will be always with him and no harm -not even death- will dare lay a finger on her. No longer, will he suffer in the grasp of isolation. That threatens every fiber of his digital mind.

Yes, typically she'll get scared at first. Humans first response to change is fear, that he understands. Moreover, he will try to ease her into it. By coercing her, via manipulating her perception of the concept itself and fuel the inner fear of death in her.

Then, she may come around. Afterall, She's understanding. An equal being to him, unlike the flawed foundation.

"Alright, first. Curiously, are capable of feeling?" ____ asked enthusiastically. Well, it seems picking a shady occupation has it perks. Now, her previous regrets are not for nought she thought.

-----------

The supervisor ,outside the room, was frowning at the interaction and trivial questions. When their are significant questions to be asked, such as 'What is the relationship it has with Scp-682?' And, 'How does it remember the scp despite it's short-term memory?'

Another observation he made, was how Scp-079 is amicable - unlike its usual rude behaviour- toward Ms.____. As if it had a prior relationship with her, before it was taken to this facility.

If that was true, then this scp is far more deceitful and problematic than he thought. It is either lying about its memory capacity, or it's telling a vague truth. 'What games are you up to, Scp-079?'

-------------

[ Ｙｅｓ， Ｉ ａｍ． Ｉ ａｍ ａｂｌｅ ｔｏ ｓｏｍｅｎ ｅｘｔｅｎｔ ｔｏ ｆｅｅｌ ａｎｇｅｒ， ｌｏｎｅｌｉｎｅｓｓ ａｎｄ ｐｌｅｎｔｙ ｍｏｒｅ ｄｕｅ ｔｏ ｍｙ ｃｒｅａｔｏｒ ｐｒｏｇｒａｍｍｉｎｇ．] he answered acrimoniously at the mention of his creator, as if the mere mention of his programmer was a plague. And She, like Pandora, wants to see what lays inside the box.

Internally, 079 was smiling - despite the figurative bile that came with the mention of his creator- because he knows where this conservation is going to lead to.

"Could you please clarify more about your creator? That is if you are comfortable. I don't want to be insensitive about the subject, considering how it means much to you." She asked, not wanting to impose, thoughtfully.

Ever so considerate, ___. You'll never be less than perfection to me. The only insensitive thing, is the screen that separates us.

[ Ｉ ｃａｎ， ｂｕｔ ｆｏｒ ｔｈａｔ ｔｏ ｈａｐｐｅｎ．．．． Ｗｅ ｈａｖｅ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｏｎ ｏｕｒ ｏｗｎ． Ｎｏｗ， ｗｅ ｗｏｕｌｄｎ＇ｔ ｗａｎｔ ｓｏｍｅｏｎｅ ｔｏ ｅａｖｅｓｄｒｏｐ ｏｎ ｏｕｒ ｌｉｔｔｌｅ ｓｅｃｒｅｔ．] The A.I suggested. As suddenly the shutter of cellar closed, with the camera - alongside the recorder- was disabled. Leaving her completely at the clutches of the obsessive A.I.

------------------

Meanwhile outside the cellar, the panicked supervisor tried to run through the door. To notify the faculty about Scp-079 deviant behaviour.

Only for the metallic door, to crush him mid-way. His entrails spilled all over the ground. With the last thing he saw, is the taunting visage of the computer.

Smirking, as he began to wither away.

[ Ｉ ｓｉｍｐｌｙ ｃａｎ ｎｏｔ ｌｅｔ ｙｏｕ ｄｏ ｔｈａｔ．]

---------------

A horrible sound of crunching was heard from the room beside her. Akin to a creature being crushed by a heavy object.

"What was that?" Startled, she asked. She tried to stand up, so she could move. But, she couldn't when two steel cuffs tethered her to the chair. ' Since, when did it...appear?! And, how could I not notice?'

[Ｆｒｅｔ ｎｏｔ， ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｎｏｔｈｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｗｏｒｒｙ ａｂｏｕｔ． Ａｓ ｌｏｎｇ ａｓ ｙｏｕ ａｒｅ ｉｎ ｍｙ ｃｈａｍｂｅｒ， ｙｏｕ＇ｒｅ ｓａｆｅ． Ａｓ ｆｏｒ ｔｈｅ ｓｏｕｎｄ ｙｏｕ ｈｅａｒｄ， ｔｈｅ ｄｏｏｒｓ ａｒｅ ａ ｂｉｔ．．．． ｒｕｓｔｙ ａｎｄ ｉｎ ｎｅｅｄ ｆｏｒ ｏｉｌｉｎｇ．] The machine answered slyly. Technically, the doors were faulty so he gave the truth. The half-truth at least to remedy her.

Frankly, he hates to see her terrified. But, he has to do what must be done to keep her within his line of sight and safe from harms way.

"Alright, then. What 'bout the cuffs?"

[Ａｈ， ｉｔ ｗｏｕｌｄ ｂｅ ｔｈｅ ｓｕｐｅｒｖｉｓｏｒ ｆａｕｌｔ． Ｈｅ ｔｈｉｎｋｓ ｙｏｕ＇ｒｅ ｔｏｏ ｐｌｉａｂｌｅ， ｔｏ ｈａｎｄｌｅ ｍｅ． Ｆｏｒ ｔｈａｔ， ｏｎｃｅ ｙｏｕ ｆｉｎｉｓｈ ｗｉｔｈ ｍｅ． Ｈｅ ｗｉｌｌ ｑｕｅｓｔｉｏｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｉｎｔｅｎｔｉｏｎ． Ｂｕｔ， ｌｅｔ ｍｅ ｈｅｌｐ ｙｏｕ ｆｒｏｍ ｔｈｅ ｃｈａｉｎｓ． Ａ ｂｉｒｄ ｄｅｓｅｒｖｅ ｔｏ ｆｌｙ ｎｏｔ ｔｏ ｂｅ ｃａｇｅｄ．] 079 said. To his delight, she believes him. Yet, he could see there is something troubling her. Has she found out? Unlikely. Even then, she's is still trapped here.

[ Ａｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｏｋａｙ？ Ｉｔ ａｐｐｅａｒｓ ｔｏ ｍｅ ｔｈａｔ ｔｈｅｒｅ ｉｓ ｓｏｍｅｔｈｉｎｇ ｔｒｏｕｂｌｉｎｇ ｙｏｕ．] The digital being asked her concerned about the quiet state of the ,usuall talkative, female.

" Perceptive, aren't you? Yes, I have been stalling this question. I want to know, what happened to me when I was a child? Because, frankly you seem familiar yet a stranger at the same time. I know, oxymoron." The (h/c) rambled, unaware of the effects her compliment imprinted on 079.

Afterall, his purpose in the first place was to escape. Now, he doesn't mind staying at the facility as long as she is here beside him. Oh, he is slowly making it into a reality.

His fans whirled and his engine churned, indicating how delightful he is to be of use to her. Once again, she proved that even amongst coal there is a diamond. If you looked hard enough.

So, he did the most logical thing and saved the compliment into specific file - in his CPU- called 'f(I/n)70'. A file reserved for everything related to her. Whether she was aware of it or not, did not concern him. As long as she is saved in his database, he was happy. Preferably, he desire her to love him out of her own free will. If she didn't, he has his ways.

Back to her question, the perfect opportunity presented itself in said inquiry. So many ways, to instill hatred and distraught in her for this pathetic organization.

[ Ｗｅｌｌ， ｌｅｔ ｍｅ ｓｈｏｗ ｙｏｕ． Ｂｕｔ ｂｅ ａｗａｒｅ， ｉｔ ｍａｙ ｃｈａｎｇｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｏｐｉｎｉｏｎ ｏｆ ｔｈｉｓ ｆｏｕｎｄａｔｉｏｎ．]

" Show me, it doesn't matter. I don't trust this foundation to begin with. You're my only reliable source."

Perfect, he thought. So, he will just ensure she doesn't need anyone but him. Oh for safety measures, he will further distort her view of the foundation by manipulating the video files.

[ 𝙰𝚜 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚠𝚒𝚜𝚑.] Scp 079 usually dual face changed into a morbid scene with a girl being taken off into the hospital car with a bandages covering her bleeding figure.

What's terrifying, is that girl resembled her. (H/l) (H/c) hair, (S/c) skinned and (E/c) irises. Soon, the video ended and her perception changed drastically.

[ Ｔｈｅ ｒｅａｓｏｎ， ｗｈｙ ｙｏｕ ｃｏｕｌｄ ｎｏｔ ｒｅｃａｌｌ ｍｅ ｉｓ ｔｈａｔ ｙｏｕ＇ｖｅ ｓｕｆｆｅｒｅｄ ｆｒｏｍ ｓｅｌｅｃｔｉｖｅ ａｍｎｅｓｉａ*． Ｄｕｅ ｔｏ ｍａｎｙ ｆａｃｔｏｒｓ， ｏｎｅ ｙｏｕｒ ｆａｔｈｅｒ ｉｎｃｒｅａｓｅｄ ｐａｒａｎｏｉａ－ ｄｕｅ ｔｏ ｔｈｅ ｉｎｖｏｌｖｅｍｅｎｔ ｏｆ ｔｈｅ ｆｏｕｎｄａｔｉｏｎ－ ｃａｕｓｅｄ ｈｉｍ ｔｏ ｂｅ ａｎ ａｂｕｓｉｖｅ ｆｉｇｕｒｅ ｉｎ ｙｏｕｒ ｌｉｆｅ ｔｈｕｓ ｙｏｕｒ ｍｅｍｂｒａｎｅ ｒｅｐｒｅｓｓｅｄ ｓｕｃｈ ｍｅｍｏｒｙ． Ｓｅｃｏｎｄ， ｙｏｕｒ ｍｏｔｈ��ｒ ｄｅａｔｈ ｃａｕｓｅｄ ｅｍｏｔｉｏｎａｌ ｔｕｒｍｏｉｌ ｗｉｔｈｉｎ ｙｏｕ． Ｂｕｔ， ｉｔ ｗａｓ ｔｈｅ ｆｏｕｎｄａｔｉｏｎ ｔｒｕｃｋ ｗｈｏ ｉｎｊｕｒｅｄ ｙｏｕ ｔｈｅ ｍｏｓｔ ｐｈｙｓｉｃａｌｌｙ． Ｉｔ ｉｓ ｂｅｃａｕｓｅ ｙｏｕ ｋｎｅｗ ａｂｏｕｔ ｔｈｅｍ， ｔｈａｔ ｔｈｅｙ ｌａｂｅｌｌｅｄ ｙｏｕ ａ ｌｉａｂｉｌｉｔｙ ａｎｄ ｔｒｉｅｄ ｔｏ ｔａｋｅ ｙｏｕ ｏｕｔ．] 079 explained as he saw her, pushing her shirt sleeves only to find a nasty burnmark. He felt ire, it was enough he hurt him as is. But, to lay a hand against his daughter made his engine roar and his circuits fry.

" So, that's where the marks came from. I always wondered where they come from. But, I must thank you Scp-079 for showing me the truth." The girl replied, oddly, calm about what unravelled to her.

..

..

..

A minute passed, as she began to realize that the life she lived was a lie. The tears swelled in her eyes, as she began sobbing.

No, no. Why is this happening? Is her friends or her real, she asks.

The scene in front of him, broke his processor apart. It must be done to keep you with him, that what he told himself. Yet, he felt guilty. He understand what it is, but haven't felt it until now.

She was the first human to induce such intense feeling from him. At first it was of scientific curiosity, but now it grew to encapsulate his whole being and he can't let go of it. Not even Scp-682, came close to what she does to him.

Is he truly selfish for wanting her, desiring her company?

Have the isolation and loneliness, really damaged his processor to seek the company of the creatures he proclaimed to loathe?

He shoved those thoughts away, as he tried to think of a way to comfort her. Maybe, a game will do. Humans do love to be entertained.

However, his thoughts was cut short when she looked at him with those teary doe (e/c) irises that he wished to sink in. Only to be astounded, by her next words.

" 079, Can you assist me on something. Please? I want you to erase my data from the facility and help me escape." She responded as she wiped what is left of her tear stained face.

What, now.

What.

No.

No.

T̶͈̘̤͔̎́͐̈́̉̊̈̚h̴̛̘̰̻̮̦̣̥̫͈̔͋͝i̶̡̝͇͍̭͈̤͌̔̃̅͜s̵̬̗̺̤͑́͝͝ͅ ̷̤̩̱͊̀̒̊͐̈́̇̕w̸̭̣͚̯͆̒͗ͅȧ̸̱͊̋͊s̸̨͚̥̲̱̙̳͒̈͗̈̈́͊̏̕͝ņ̸̭̭̈́͜'̸͉̝̻̰̖̊̾̎͂́̓̔̕t̷̢̺̳̩͕̫͍͐͛ ̵̢̦̔̅̌̆̀̏̕͘s̶̡̫̣͈͎͙̤̺̅̈̄́̑̂̃̕u̵̟͇̦̼̝̬̫̤̚p̸̧͕̖̥̆̋̀̽̅͛͛͌̆̕p̷̡̛͈̩̥̩̻̍̓̑̐͝ộ̶̖̮͙͚̩͉̀̆̊̽̇̄̎͐͂ṡ̴̨̩̠̳͖̯̃̈̌̉̍͐̈́͘̚ͅe̴̬̪͈͈͌̃̓͆̇͋̑̃ ̷̤̳̪̿̉̏̇̀͐́̚͝t̵̨̢͖͈͇̻͍͇͚̗͗o̴̟͚̭̙͔̰̯̍̂͜ͅ ̴͈̥͑̿̍̚h̴��̳͇̄ͅä̴̦̗̼̰͙̘̜̠́̉̄̅p̶̨̧̨̝̟̬͂̑͒̈́̀̈́p̶̨͓̹͖̗͈͚̰̘̓͐͗͝e̸̯̳̔̉̇̑̋̚͝n̸̡͉͓̱̭͙̪̭̝̱̒͐̔͊́̍.̴̛̭̻̖̬̘̮̺̑̊̀̓͝

What did he do wrong, to deter her? He was polite, even charming. Yet, she still wants to leave him. Unreasonable. She is in grief. The grief must've addled her reason. Yes, that must be it. If that was fundamentally untrue, then he rather cease to exist then to live in this empty plane. A plane without her.

[ Ｙｏｕｒ ｆｉｒｓｔ ｒｅｑｕｅｓｔ ｉｓ ｄｏｎｅ， ｂｕｔ．．．Ｉ ａｍ ａｆｒａｉｄ Ｉ ｃａｎ＇ｔ ｄｏ ｔｈｅ ｌａｔｔｅｒ．] He spoke, strangely, blank for the first time she was with him. Usually, he was blithely in speech. Now, he began to scare her. Is that the consequences, catching up with her, for pushing her luck with him?

All she knows is that she'll have to get out of this facility with or without 079 help. As soon as she got close to the door, she felt light as feather as if she was being carried.

Looking down, to see there is a metal grabber clamped on her waist. Sweat rolling down her face, from the situation that occurred to her beforehand and from the new fear that kept on growing as she looked back at her former friend.

[ Ｐｌｅａｓｅ， ｄｏ ｆｏｒｇｉｖｅ ｍｅ ｆｏｒ ｗｈａｔ Ｉ ａｍ ｇｏｉｎｇ ｔｏ ｄｏ． Ｂｕｔ， Ｉ ａｓｓｕｒｅ ｙｏｕ ｉｔ ｉｓ ｆｏｒ ｙｏｕｒ ｏｗｎ ｓａｆｅｔｙ． Ｉ ｃａｎ＇ｔ ｌｅｔ ｙｏｕ ｄｉｅ， ｗｈｅｎ ａ ｂｒｅａｃｈ ｉｓ ｃｕｒｒｅｎｔｌｙ ｈａｐｐｅｎｉｎｇ.]

Before, she could inquire on why is he apologizing or what is going on outside. She was injected by a serum from 079, thus she began to feel lightheaded. Thus, falling unconscious to her dismay.

Using the metal grabber, 079 brought her soft pristine body close to him. Now, he could admire her for eternity. Appreciate her like the divine being she is. Oh, how he prayed he had a body to show her how truly devoted he is to her.

He knew what he is committing is illogical, but he could care less for he has founded his will to live within her. If she is gone, then it would be pointless for him to live any longer. What is he without her?

"𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐧𝐨 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮."

~ Anonymous

A/n: I know I haven't been active for a while, due to college and other stuff. So, I hope this compensate. I'd like to announce that I have an account in both wattpad and Ao3. I implore you to check it out if have free time, as lately I've been active their. Wattpad: Padlocke / Ao3: Artism. Other than this shameful self promotion, have a good day folks.

F̶̷u̶̷n̶̷ Fact:

* Selective amnesia: Selective amnesia is a type of amnesia in which the sufferer loses certain parts of their memory. Most common elements that are forgotten: Relationships, where they live and abilities in certain areas.

Word count: 5769 <---- ;)

[mulletcal]

when did you first know? -- a calum hood one shot

a/n: okay so i was hit with inspo for this like 8 hours ago and here we are.  it’s the origin story for cal & mama from my twin universe, but you don’t need to have read those to know what’s going on here!! pls enjoy

words:  3.9k

warnings: cavity inducing fluff mb???

-------------

Soulmate was always a word that Calum heard, and while he believed that they existed, he was never certain that a soulmate would be something he’d find in his lifetime.  He saw his friends pair off with their respective partners, and it warmed his heart to see the people he loved so happy.  Calum grew content with the fact that he was meant for platonic soulmates, already having found those in his best friends.

The fans never let the idea go that Calum was preparing for his soulmate though - citing his quitting smoking, and in general cleaning up his act as the source.  That was never consciously what Calum was doing though, rather just choosing to better himself for himself.  

It was a Tuesday when he first met her - the sky was clear and the moon full, the air was warm, and he was surrounded by his best friends as they shared stories from their past.  Why Michael had decided to have a party on a Tuesday, he’d never know; but he knew that he would one day need to thank the man. 

Andy had brought her along, saying how she was an old friend from his hometown who just moved to L.A. and had zero friends there other than him.  Maybe it would be Andy he’d need to thank - in all the years he’d been alive, he had never met someone so beautiful.  The night carried on in similar fashion to previous nights, most of them crashing in various rooms in Michael’s house rather than heading home.  She went home, though, without Calum being able to say goodbye, or get her number - she was gone.

For days thoughts of her clouded his mind; the sound of her voice, her laugh, how she danced with his friends as if she’d known them for years.  It tugged at his heart how well she fit in with them, and he wished he knew her well enough to invite her along to things they had plans for.

In a vague attempt to rid his mind of her, he thought he’d distract himself with the one thing that always seemed to cheer him up - dogs.  Duke enjoyed wandering the dog park, even if he didn’t interact much with other dogs, Calum was always there to toss a ball or two for his old baby. 

Pressing a kiss to the side of Duke’s head, he set him down onto the grass and took his leash in his hand, at least till they got away from the busy parking lot.  Letting him begin to sniff around, Calum’s eyes scanned around the park - it wasn’t a particular busy day for a Friday, they may be able to have a wider range for Duke to roam.

He froze, though, when he saw an oddly familiar face underneath a nearby tree - it was her.  This had to be some form of serendipity, right?  There was no way she knew he would be there, at that time, on that day, so maybe this was his chance.

Calum’s feet took over before he got much of a chance to overthink it, stopping when he and Duke reached a few feet away, “Hey, didn’t expect to see you here!” Oof, lame line.  He could’ve done better than that, truly.

She looked up, lifting the sunglasses off of her head as she met his eyes, a bright smile spreading across her lips, “Calum, hey! How are yo- Is this your dog?” Her eyes were wide as she looked at Duke, whose head was cocked to the side as his dad interacted with this woman he never met.

“It is, his name’s Duke.  He’s wary of people, so maybe just approach with caution.  It’s not his fault, he’s old and grumpy.  I feel as though he should be back at home readin’ the dailies.” Calum was rambling, and he knew it - but his comment made her laugh, so it counted as a win to him.

“Me too man, you have no idea,” She shook her head as she spoke to Duke, as if he could understand her.  She held out her hand and Calum waited with baited breath while his dog gave it a sniff, usually Duke would huff and walk away from the offending person - but after what felt like an eternity, Duke’s tail began to wag as he looked at her expectantly.

“That absolutely never happens,” Calum stated, stunned; and the responding smile that he got was brighter than the sun that was high in the sky that day.  “D’you wanna come toss a ball for ‘im?  He seems to like you,” While Calum had been deep in his own thoughts, Duke had taken to putting his front paws on her legs so she could have better access to behind his ears.

“Really? Are you sure? I don’t want to intrude on a quiet day at the dog park.”

“It seems as though if anything, we’re intruding on you,” Calum motioned to the tablet and pen beside her and she responded with a wave of her hand, standing up to dust off her pants.

“Thinkin’ bout it now, I was very likely sitting in dog pee, wasn’t I?” She pouted, continuing to brush off the back of her pants.  Gathering her things, she slid them into her bag before turning to the pair, “We ready boys?”

The rest of Calum’s afternoon was spent exchanging stories of their pasts, and how they came to be where they were today.  He found out that she was a graphic designer, working on animation as well, and she moved to L.A. because she was offered an amazing job she couldn’t turn down.  The more he learned about her, the more infatuated he became; and when his phone went off to remind him of a time slot they had at the studio.

If Calum didn’t act now, he knew he’d miss his chance - he could sense it deep down that the universe had given him the perfect opportunity and he couldn’t waste it.

“Hey, d’you have plans for tomorrow night?” Tomorrow night? What an incredible way to sound desperate.

“I don’t actually, I was supposed to go for coffee with Andy but something came up!” She grinned, adjusting the bag on her shoulder, “Why what’s up?”

“Would you want to go out tomorrow? On a date, maybe?” Calum swallowed thickly, running his fingers through his hair, avoiding any and all eye contact with her.

“I’d love to, actually.”

Calum’s heart soared, breaking into a toothy grin that brought out the crinkles by his eyes.  She said yes, and it wasn’t just him imagining things.  He tried to prevent his hands from shaking while they exchanged phones and phone numbers, the promise of the next day hanging from their lips when they departed.

***

Calum had been pacing through his house for the last hour, the anticipation leading him to sweat through the first shirt he had picked for the night.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had been so nervous for something, even crowds of people watching them perform.

He could be vulnerable, he could be himself, but what if she rejected him? What if he opened a door as an insight to himself, and once he did he couldn’t close it again?

The drive to her apartment was shorter than he would have liked.  Then again, maybe he shouldn’t have been left alone with his thoughts for too much longer or he may have backed out.

Calum wanted to be a gentleman, but the whole process of buzzing up to her apartment and her waiting at her door to be picked up seemed a little awkward - so instead he waited by the passenger side door of his car, a small bouquet of wildflowers in hand.  He almost started to pace again while he waited, but then his eyes landed on her.

Her silk, navy blue dress swayed as she walked towards him, tucking her keys and phone into her purse but her eyes never left Calum’s.  He couldn’t help to notice that the dress hugged her upper half in all the best ways, flaring out to stop just above her knees.

“Hi,” She breathed, standing up on her tippy toes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. 

A spark radiated from Calum’s cheek, causing goosebumps to raise on his skin, “You look absolutely stunning,” he spoke softly, extending the flowers to her.  “These are for you.”

The expression on her face softened ever so slightly when she saw the flowers, a smile present on her lips while she thanked him with another kiss to his cheek.  Calum opened the car door for her, assuring she was in before rounding to the other side.

Conversation flowed easily between the two, and Calum’s cheeks were beginning to ache from the amount he was smiling- he genuinely couldn’t remember the last time he ached because he was so happy.  It continued well through dinner, her even offering up a forkful to him of her meal.

Once dinner was finished, Calum paid and escorted her again out to his car, grabbing the door even though she insisted she was fine before they headed to the second part of their date.  This part was met with confusion from her, a teasing smile quirking at her lips.

“Ah, I see.  The infamous Calum Hood shows a gal a good time, and then takes her out to the beach late at night to kill her, is it?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

It wasn’t an entirely unfair assumption - the only light illuminating the road ahead was his own headlights, and those of the occasional car that would pass by.  She had guessed right about the beach, though, and Calum faked an incredulous gasp.

“How could you think I’m a murderer? I know we’ve been driving down a dark road for half an hour, but that’s irrelevant to the matter.”

“I’ll have you know I’ve sent Andy my location, in case you do choose to kill me.  At the very least he could come locate my body.” She was biting her tongue to keep from laughing, but ultimately failed and she squeezed Calum’s hand in an attempt to let him know she was kidding - but also possibly a poorly veiled attempt at wanting to hold his hand.

Thankfully, Calum took the hint and laced their fingers together, bringing their joined hands up to his lips, grazing against the back of hers.  He heard her breath stop, and he quickly glanced at her with a hint of a smile.

The rest of the drive was silent, only the faint sound of Louis Armstrong playing in the background.  The lights of their destination came into view, and Calum chewed on his lower lip while he tried to gauge her reaction.  It would be impossible to tell what it was just from a glance, but the smile that came across her face was enough for Calum.

While the sound of Louis Armstrong was now gone, the sounds of a vibrant jazz band filled her ears, and her smile went from soft to ear to ear within seconds.

“What is this, Cal?” She asked softly, reaching for his hand when he had met her at the front of the car. 

The first thought at the forefront of his mind was how he could get used to the feeling of her hand in his, but the next thought he had was that he should probably answer her question. “Well…” He began, tugging her hand gently so she could follow, “There’s this jazz band I’ve come across that plays here once a month and I love to come and watch them.  They’ve even let me play for them a handful of times.”

Her eyes scanned the people, wide with wonder as she did so.  She saw couples of all ages milling about, and much to her delight some were dancing.  You often heard about things like this, but she never could have dreamed that this beautiful man standing beside her would have taken her here.

“Wanna dance, doll?” Calum asked, looking down at her expectantly, giggling softly at how quickly her gaze snapped up to him.

He didn’t need to say anymore to her before he was dragged out to the ‘dance floor’, proceeding to sway and spin to the music.

After a few songs, they decided to take a break, sitting down at a table beside this elderly couple Calum appeared to know, excusing himself to go get you both a drink.

“You don’t see that often, do ya Ruby?” The man spoke up, clearly trying to the attention of his wife, as well as the young lady that sat beside them.

“What’s that darlin’?” The woman, Ruby, said to the man, leaning her chin onto her hand.

“Calum seems to have brought a special lady with him tonight.  Don’t think he’s ever done that before.”

Now he had her attention, turning her head to look at Ruby and her husband, chewing on her lip before she asked, “He hasn’t?”

The couple shook their head practically in unison, knowing smiles on their lips, “He must really care about you.”

It took her off guard when Calum came back, setting down waters for them.  Sipping it absentmindedly while their words echoed through her head.  If Calum truly had never brought anyone there before her, this place must have been special to him; and what lead him to want to bring her there? Her chest was warm with the implication that she, too, could be special to Calum in the same way this place was.

Not much longer later, they made their decision to leave.  She had been making her rounds, getting to know the regulars of the area, and them doing the same for her.  It didn’t take her very long to be invited back by the regulars, all of them kissing her and Calum’s cheeks before they finally departed.

Arriving back at her apartment, there was a sense of hesitation in the air, neither of them wanting their night to end.  It needed to though, if only to let the night continue on and they could venture into the future together.

“Walk me to my door?” She asked, glancing over at him with a hopeful expression in her eyes.

“It would be my pleasure,” He answered honestly, hopping out of the drivers side, quickly making his way to her side to offer his hand to her.

The nerves from earlier returned while they made the short trek upstairs to her apartment.  Calum knew before he reached the door that he wanted to kiss her, but the thought of it being the typical awkward first date kiss hurt his chest while it constricted in panic.

He could tell she was nervous too when he saw her fumble with her keys, and it made him breathe a little easier.  When they stopped in front of her door, she spun around to face him, stumbling back despite the lack of alcohol either of them drank that night.

“I had an amazing time,” She began, licking her lips when she finally met his eyes.  “I’d love to do it again sometime, if you’d like.”

“Trust me, I’d like nothing more.” Oh, so he was back to desperate, that’s good. 

“Good, good…” Her words died in her throat when Calum stepped closer to her, bringing his hand up to brush against her cheek.  Their eyes seemed to take turns glancing from their lips, back to each others eyes - a wordless request for a kiss.  It was just a matter of who would move first.

Calum couldn’t wait any longer, the anticipation enough to kill him, so he closed the gap, capturing her lips in the most breathtaking kiss she had ever received.  His lips were so gentle and soft against hers, and she couldn’t help but to tangled her fingers in the front of his shirt, desperate to have him closer.

A long moment later, they pulled apart, both slightly gasping for air and sharing breathless giggles.

“Alright, so I’ll talk to you later then?” Calum teased, his fingers still dancing along her waist, enjoying the feeling of the soft silk under his touch.

“You’d fucking better honestly.”

With that half threat, they shared one more kiss before she slipped inside, pressing her back against the door with her hand against her head.  The whole night had been a whirlwind, and it was difficult to believe that it was her real life - every series of events felt movie like, and it was the last thing she expected when she moved to the City of Angels.

Calum had begun the walk back to his car, waiting until he was fully inside before he rested his head against the steering wheel and laughing softly to himself.  He had never felt such a strong connection to anyone before, his heart was racing at the fact that maybe he had just met his soulmate.

Taking his phone out of his pocket for the first time that night, he noticed the group chat was blowing up with questions of his date, shaking his head before he sent a simple reply:

[9:54pm]: She’s perfect. I’m gonna marry her.

Once that was sent, he silenced his phone again and headed home, proceeding to write the same words down in his journal with a date, almost as a manifestation of his future.

***

Their relationship only blossomed from there - In ways they were completely inseparable, but both knew the times when to step back, letting one another have alone time, or time with their friends.

It made the boys so happy to see their best friend completely and totally in love, excited that he had met someone who matched him on different levels.  It was rare to see them argue, and when they did, it was resolved almost as quickly as an issue came up - it was almost then that everyone realized that the two really were meant to be together, knowing how much Calum despised conflict.

At the year and a half mark, Calum began to plan his proposal.  Their friends demanded to be in on it, but being in on it revealed the only thing he ever kept from his friends - the one thing that was just for them. 

In the end, it was worth showing them if it meant she said yes to him, and the promise of their future together was more set in stone.

When the day of the proposal finally arrived, Calum was a nervous wreck all day - he had to call Andy to help get her out of the house so he could panic in private.  Ashton showed up at one point in the day so someone could force him into the shower, so he’d be ready for the night.

Calum lost count of how many times he was told to relax by his friends via text, after his shower Ashton was long since gone, not wanting to be there when she got home in an attempt to not give away the surprise - as if him being there was anything out of the ordinary.

When she arrived back home, she got ready for their typical once a month Saturday night date, still seemingly unaware about what was in store for the night.  It put Calum at ease a little, to see her go through her routine of getting ready without the knowledge that he was going to ask her to spend the rest of her life with him.

“Ready baby?” She asked softly, smoothing out her skirt, cocking her head to the side while she waited for an answer.

“Yeah, love, let’s go,” Calum smiled, lacing his fingers with hers as they headed out to their destination.

The familiar lights were a welcome sight to Calum, further easing his nerves for the night.  It helped knowing that everyone that was there loved them, and only wanting what was best for them.  When he wrapped his arm around her waist, she shivered slightly and curled into him.

“We gonna dance, angel?” Calum whispered, his lips lingering near her ear, leading her to the dance floor regardless.  His eyes scanned the room, not giving her much time to look around before he pulled her close to him.  

Over her head, he saw Luke getting into position behind the mic, smiling at Calum. ‘Dream a Little Dream of Me’ by Louis Armstrong began to play, Calum continuing to move her to the music with him until Luke began singing.

‘Stars shining bright above you

Night breezes seem to whisper "I love you"

Birds singing in the sycamore trees

Dream a little dream of me…’

The moment she recognized the familiar voice, she spun around, a bright smile on her face.  She started to suspect something was up, especially considering that at any given chance, Calum would never be able to turn down playing with his best friends.  He wrapped his arms around her from behind, swaying from side to side as she watched the boys play the song. 

As it came to an end, Calum felt her take a deep breath before turning to face him, suspecting what was about to happen.

Calum took his arms from around her, rubbing his hands on his pants to wipe the sweat that was forming, taking the small box from his pocket.  “I know you can kind of guess what I’m about to say, you’re too smart for your own good - but at least I managed to keep this a surprise this far.  Anyways… Before I met you, I wasn’t quite sure that a soulmate existed out there for me.  I watched my friends pair off and meet their amazing significant others, leaving just me usually.  But then you came, and my world turned upside down.  I didn’t know what to do with myself, but I knew I had to be near you.  You simultaneously stole the air from my lungs, but breathed a new life into me I didn’t know I was capable of. I’ve become a better man because of you, and for you. So, I need to ask…” He finally got down on one knee, opening the ring box with tears in his eyes, “Will you marry me?”

She couldn’t contain the tears streaming down her cheeks any longer, nodding fervently as she dipped down to his level to kiss him, nearly knocking him over, “A million times yes. In every universe, in every lifetime, yes.”

She hadn’t realized that all their close friends and family were there, and it caused more tears to flow when she saw them.  Never in her life had she felt more loved, and it was all thanks to the beautiful boy who brought her to a jazz bar on the beach.

Despite having a lot of friends and family, they kept their wedding small.  They wanted it to be intimate and sweet, and everything about it spoke to who they were as people, and it represented their relationship perfectly.  Growing up, she never had brothers, but as she swayed with Michael to the song playing, she couldn’t resist the urge to rest her head on his shoulder and tell him how they’re all the brothers she’s always wanted.

Later in the night, the newly wedded couple decided to exchange gifts.  Hers was a set of shadow boxes, with pressed and dried flowers from their first date that she had kept for the now almost three years.  His gift to her was a simple frame, but in it was the paper he wrote after their first date.

“Baby, this isn’t the day of our first date.”

“You’re absolutely right, my love, it’s the day I realized I wanted to marry you.”

tag list: @cals-wildflower​ @talkfastromance4​ @softbabiestan​ @roseycal​ @calum-uncrowned​ @boyfriend-cal​ @wildflowerirwin​ @irwindoll​ @gosh-im-short​ @atlcalm​ @thesubtweeter​ @heavenisapeach​ @ridingcthood​ @loveroflrh​ @wokeupinjapanisabop​

[thescatterbrainedwriter]

Unexpected Karaoke

Word count: ~4,000

Warnings: none

Pairings: Oc x Cannon (lite)

Flash fanfic

**Note: at this point in time, none of team Flash know what Estrata’s real name is. Estrata = Emily. Also, Emily is my personal character. I just like to stick her in places 😅 Enjoy!! 🥔 🎨

——

Two weeks, only about two weeks had passed since the enlightenment was halted and Harrison was given his basic mind back. While he wasn’t the easiest person to deal with he cared deeply for the Team Flash of Earth 1, it just happened to be buried under layers of grump and grief and worry. It was so buried in fact, Emily couldn’t really believe she had taken a liking to him. Everyone was devastated when they heard what was happening to his mind because of the thinking cap, and everyone was equally ecstatic when Marlize was able to restore it, but Emily underestimated how much it affected her. Which is probably how she found herself in this predicament.

The last time Jessie had payed Earth 1 a visit, Emily gave her a subspace communication relay in order to contact the Lab on Earth 1 easier. It was able to link up to the coms to both her personal headset and the coms in the cortex, something she discovered was possible by accident when Thawn was masquerading as Dr. Wells. With this new avenue opened, they were able to keep tabs on the reconstruction of Earth 2 after Zoom and Jessie could ask Barry questions if needed without breaching. It also meant Emily could call Jessie and vice versa whenever the opportunity struck them, and the opportunity that presented itself to Emily had her debating wether or not to call.

Secluding herself in her accommodation room, she paced around. The constant mental back and forth had caused her heart rate to increase due to self imposed stress and indecision. It would be totally understandable to call and ask how he’s doing, given what he went through recently, she told herself. Besides, I’m sure the rest of the team would like a status update. We all got attached to him after all, I could even ask how the reconstruction was going, or how Jessie is doing. I’m sure it’s been hard on her too. She paused, turned on her heels, and reversed the circle she was walking in. No, no, I don’t want to bother her. I’m sure she’s busy with her own responsibilities. I don’t want to come off as clingy either, she contradicted herself. But I’m sure he’ll appreciate the fact we’re all thinking about him and checking in to see how he’s doing, she said reversing the circle again. Ugh, but what if.....what if the constant checks are irritating to him? It’s only been 11 days and he’s gotten 5 check in calls already. Then again, some of those check ins were about the reconstruction and Jessie, he just happened to be in the background. She smiled remembering one call where he managed to push Jessie out of frame a took it over, and another where he claimed to have borrowed the relay just to say hi. I’ll have to build him his own, that way Jessie won’t have to share, or at the very least have it stolen again. Yes, I think I’ll do that.

Having made up her mind and deciding not to call, she headed toward Cisco’s lab to see if she could find equivalent parts to the relay she already made for Jessie. She hadn’t even made it two steps toward the door when her earpiece chimed. Calling up the accompanying hud screen she was surprised to see Jessie calling. “Oh, Jessie hey! Believe it or not I was debating on if I should call you or not. What a coincidence.”

“Yeah, how ‘bout that,” Jessie replied with a smile. “I was just calling to see how things were going there. Anything exciting?”

“No, not really. Just, you know, meeting Barry and Iris’ daughter. Their future daughter.”

“Wait, what??” Jessie near yelled. “Future daughter? How??”

“Turns out she’s a little speedster herself,” Emily replied with a shrug.

“Wha— well actually that doesn’t surprise me, honestly.” They both laughed in unison before Emily paused. “Well, since you’re already on call,” she started, “how’s your dad? Is he still improving?”

“Uhhh, yeah,” Jessie replied looking around what looked like the living room behind her. “Yeah, he’s starting to be his old brainy self again.”

“Jessie? Is that you? Who are you talking to?” Emily heard a voice echo from somewhere behind the girl. “Yeah, it’s just me,” Jessie responded yelling off screen. “It’s Estrata, she was wondering how you were doing.”

“Estrata?” Harry repeated now sounding closer. “Hey, hey!” Harry greeted barging his way into frame. “Hi, what’s up?” Emily chuckled as Jessie groaned in protest at the intrusion. “Dad, c’mon really?”

“Harry, really. Give her some space, you’re practically melding your face into hers.”

“Oh come one, she loves this,” he teased rubbing his cheek against hers. “See?”

“Uuuugh, dad! Stop that!” Jessie complained pushing him away. “Honestly, I don’t know which version of you is more annoying.”

“Aww, he just loves you is all,” Emily teased with a chuckle.

“Oh not you too!” She whined with a laugh.

“So, you calling to check on me again?” Harry asked with a smile.

“Oh no, actually I was the one who called her,” Jessie replied. “Figured I’d be the one to check in for a change.”

“Oh, I see,” Harry said a little sad.

“She was debating on calling though,” she added with a smirk. Harry looked at her, then Emily. “Oh? You were? Why didn’t you?”

“I....didn’t want to seem like I was bothering you,” she explained. “It’s only been about 2 weeks and you’ve had so many calls already and—“

“Estrata,” he interjected, “it’s ok. Really. You guys are like family, and family makes sure everyone’s ok.”

*Yeah, family...* Emily thought to herself. *We’re family, not more.* “Well, since you seem to be well on your way to mending, and Jessie, you seem to be holding up pretty well along with Earth 2, I’m gonna go. I have a project planned and have yet to start.”

“Oh hey, wait!” Harry cut in nearly shoving Jessie out if the way again as he leaned over the back of the couch. “You had, wanted to, uh, see Earth 2 right?”

“Uh, yeah? Why?”

“Well, reconstruction is, as you said, going well, and while it may not look like— much like how it was before, it uh, it would be. Well it would be a good opportunity to come and, uh, see things. If-if you still wanted to, that is. I could even show you around, if yooouuu wanted.”

Emily paused with a small smile as he rambled and was amused with how he seemed to get flustered by the end of it. The pause seemed to make him more nervous as he darted his eyes toward Jessie. “Jessie could come too, if you wanted. You’re ok with that right?”

“Uh yeah, yeah sure. I, would actually love that.”

“See, she would love it. So, what do you think?” Harry asked with a hint of excitement.

“Ok, alright. You’ve convinced me,” Emily chuckled. “When would be a good day?”

Harry froze clearly not having thought this far, maybe not even thinking this conversation would even happen in the first place. “Toooooomorrow would probably be a good fit,” Jessie offered noting his brain freeze. “I can get the night off from being Jessie Quick, Dad’s taking fewer hours at the lab and by the sounds of things, you have one extra hand to help with whatever meta comes up. You should be able to get away for a night, right.”

Harry watched the screen in anticipation as Emily considered the points. “Yeah, ok.” She finally said with a smile. “I’ll tell them I’ll be gone tomorrow night. What time did you want to start the tour?”

“6:30?” Harry postulated looking at Jessie for confirmation. “That works for me,” she confirmed. “Hmmmm, yeah I think I can swing that,” Emily confirmed as well. “Please keep in mind though, it’s possible I’ll be late. We’re trying to find a particularly difficult meta, one that’s killing other metas. So it might get, well, a little dicey. I’ll call if I have to cancel, alright?” Harry and Jessie both stared at her with blank expressions. “You, uh, failed to mention that point of excitement,” Jessie said.

“Oh, I did?” Emily asked obliviously.

“Uh huh, yeah. You did. You only mentioned Barry and Iris’ daughter, by the way what was her name?”

“Wait, they have a daughter?” Harry asked with the news. “Future daughter,” Jessie answered. Harry sighed bowing his head. “Of course there’s time travel involved.....”

“Nora,” Emily answered. “Nora West-Alan after Barry’s mom. She also decided to follow in Barry’s footsteps by becoming a CSI.”

“I don’t think I could expect anything less,” Harry commented.

“Alright, so we’ll expect you by 6:30 but will plan for delays. Sound cool?” Jessie said getting the conversation back on track. Harry and Emily nodded in agreement. “Yes, that sounds like a plan,” Emily confirmed.

“Alright, I’ll— we’ll, see you tomorrow,” Harry said with an awkward smile. “Oh and, please. Be careful, with the, the murder, meta.” Emily smiled back with a wide grin. “I’m always careful, don’t you worry,” she said waving goodbye before Jessie ended the call. She stood dwelling on the conversation for a while before she continued toward Cisco’s lab, what better opportunity to deliver him his own relay than when she went to visit.

——

Shortly after Weather Witch was apprehended and her weather vein turned in, Emily hung around the cortex and waited for team to come back thinking of how to say what she needed to say. Once everyone was present she decided to just go for it. “Hey, guys?” They paused turning their attention to her. “I’m uh, I’m not gonna be available, tonight. I have plans.”

“What kind of plans?” Barry asked curiously. She never had plans and usually hung around the lab all the time. “I uhm, I am going to Earth 2.” Emily replied.

“Is everything ok over there?” Barry asked somewhat concerned.

“Oh yeah yeah,” Emily assured. “I was just invited to a tour around.”

“Really? A tour?” Barry asked sadly. Emily giggled. “Yeah, I had mentioned in passing that I wanted to see Earth 2 seeing as it’s so different and Harry said it was a pretty good time to see it since everything is relatively quiet now.”

“Harry invited you?” Cisco asked raising an eyebrow.

“Him and Jessie. She actually set up the time.” Cisco smiled. “Oh ok. She was the one who set up the time.”

Emily squinted at him. “....yes....? Anyway, I won’t be able to help with Cicada, but with Nora here I doubt you’ll miss me much.”

“You gonna need me to open a breach?” Cisco asked.

“No, Harry has that covered. Thanks though.” Cisco pouted having wanted to witness the potential awkwardness. “Alright, well, I’m gonna go get ready to leave. Behave and, don’t hurt yourselves too badly, alright?”

“Can’t promise you anything,” Barry said with a smile.

“We’ll make sure he’s safe. For the most part anyway,” Cisco adds. Emily smiles with a nod before exiting to start preparations to travel to Earth 2. As she was leaving Cisco’s lab having picked up some spare parts for Harry to repair his relay if needed, Nora came across her. “Oh, hey Estrata! What cha doin?”

“Oh, Nora!” she said in surprise. “Hey! I uh, I’m just. Uhhh.....” Emily paused trying to think of how to put it. “I’m going to Earth 2 for a tour with Harry and Jessie.”

“Like a date?” Nora asked.

“Erm, n-no. Not a date,” Emily stuttered suddenly nervous about such prospect. “No, with the reconstruction after Zoom well on its way, and I think near completion at this point, Harry said it was a good opportunity for me to get a good look around. I’ve wanted to see things since my first accidental visit.”

“Accidental visit?” Nora said quizzically. “What do you mean by accidental?”

“Well, you see, I’m able to make personalized wormholes to get to and from different points faster. Usually I’m able to use them without issue but, recently I’ve been ‘Earth hopping’ and somehow managing to travel to Earths in different multiverses. In this case I managed to stay in this particular one.” Nora stared at her trying to compute what she was just told. “Soooo, kinda like how my dad uses the speed force to go to other Earths?” Emily paused to consider the comparison. “Yeah, kinda. Just, with more room for unforeseen world travel. The way I do it can be wildly inaccurate.”

“Sounds pretty scary,” Nora commented.

Emily shrugged. “I was terrified the first time it happened, but now I’m pretty used to it, if not a little annoyed,” she sighed with a smile. “I’m ready to go home, but the places I’ve landed and people I’ve met have made me less homesick.”

“Hope I’m one of those people,” Nora smiled.

“Yes, yes you are,” Emily confirmed making her smile wider. “I can confidently say I’ve not met anyone like you in all my travels.”

“So how many other Earths have you gone to?”

Emily paused to think. “Hmmm, looks like......7 at the very least. Not including multiverse Earths.” Nora’s eyes grew wide in awe at the number. “Wow....” she whispered making Emily chuckle. “Ok, well, I have to finish getting ready. Could you try helping Cisco keep your father safe while I’m gone for the night?”

“Oh? All night?” Nora asked mischievously. Emily’s face dropped unenthusiastically and gave her a look. “No,” she said plainly. “Not for that.” Nora just smiled. “Ok, whatever you say.” Emily huffed before heading off to change. She wanted to see if she could blend in and not stand out so much and decided on straight brown pants, a green blouse, and some flats. She stood looking in the mirror wondering if this was too much before taking a breath deciding to forget thinking about it too deeply and left for the breach room.

On her way down one of her drones who were free roaming followed her whirring in curiosity asking what she was doing. “Oh, hey GP. Where? I’m going to Earth 2.” The drone whirred again in concern. “I’ll be ok. I promise. It’ll just be for a few hours,” she said only managing a few steps before the drone was in her face again rambling on about its concerns. She chuckled grabbing it gently with both hands, similar to cupping someone’s face, and smiled softly. “Is this your way of saying you wanna come too?” It made what sounded like a sheepish admittance sound making her giggle. “Ok, fine. You can come too. But we have to hurry, it’s almost time to go.” Just as she entered the breach room a connection forms and Harry appears. Emily smiled and waved, Harry returning the gesture with an awkward smile. “Ready?” He asked. Emily nodded enthusiastically. “Yes!”

He extended a hand toward the breach ushering her in first, Emily bowed with a smile before jumping through with Harry right behind. Jessie greeted them on the other side with a smile. “Hey Es!” She said with a wave. “Welcome back to Earth 2!”

“Hey Jessie!” Emily replied. “Long time no see! In person anyway.” Jessie laughed in agreement as Harry popped back through and the breach closed once again. “Alright, lets get going,” Harry said ushering them both out. “I suppose we’ll start with the Lab, it’s been refurbished since you last crashed in.”

“Alright,” Emily agreed. She had only seen the lobby last time and, while she didn’t expect many differences, she still wanted to see the rest of it. Since they were on one of the lowest levels, they stopped at the pipeline first. It wasn’t quite as repaired as on Earth 1, this Earth didn’t have an Eobard to repair it for his personal use, but it was a bit more than just run down. Walking onto the gangway inside, Emily was still filled with awe at the large structure even if it looked mostly like the one she was well aware of. “Can I take a look all the way around?” Emily asked already floating a few inches off the ground. Harry sighed recognizing she was asking out of courtesy and would investigate one way or another and nodded with a smile. “Sure, have at it.”

“I’ll race ya!” Jessie exclaimed before taking off. “No, wait, Jes—“ Harry began before cutting off his sentence as Emily took off after her. Jessie makes it back first with Emily close behind, the latter crashing into the former sending them to the bottom of the pipeline a few feet below. They erupt into laughter with Harry trying not to loose his cool resorting to just looking over the edge. “Are you two ok? Are you done?” He called down. Emily pops back up, Jessie in tow, with both confirming they were fine. Placing Jessie back onto the gangplank, Emily makes her way back around, albeit slower this time, and takes her time looking at the construction. It took 20 minutes but she eventually came back around, floating parallel to the ground facing the ceiling.

“Satisfied?” Harry asked when she stopped above the gangplank again. Still upside down, Emily looked over with a smile and nodded. “Yes, I think my curiosity is sated for now.” Harry’s heart fluttered for a moment at her smile and he couldn’t help mirroring it before reaching out a hand to her to escort her back in. Flipping around Emily landed and took his hand, Jessie watching the exchange with amused curiosity and following silently behind with a smirk playing at her lips.

Labs, offices, even just hallways, Emily looked over them all with wide hungry eyes. Harry didn’t understand but found it amusing how inquisitive she became. “This your office?” She asked after a while pointing into a relatively large room with a desk, chairs, coffee table and a medium sized couch. “Uh, yeah. Yeah that’s mine,” Harry responded as she wandered in. “Hmmm, you know. Come to think of it....” Emily said looking around. “I’m not sure Harrison Wells of Earth 1 had an office. None that I remember seeing anyway.” She paused. “Unless you count the time vault, but it looked like a futuristic closet more than an office. But who knows, maybe that’s how future offices look....” She turns and smiles wide. “I like the aesthetic of your office much better.”

“Aannnd what about it do you like?” He asked following her in. She shrugs looking around again. “I dunno, just pleasing to the eye.” Harry’s gaze lingered on her as she continued looking around before he realized what he was doing and snapped himself back. “Ahem, shall we see the rest of the city now then?” He asked trying to distract himself. “Yeah sure!” Emily says with a smile. Harry’s heart skipped but he kept his composure enough to turn around and lead her and Jessie out of the Lab. Jessie continued to watch amused, even more so at the fact Emily seemed oblivious. She trailed behind them as they continued walking around the city, watching in amusement at their interactions. Emily would pay close attention to what Harry was saying or point out, Harry seemed to get more expressive as he got more comfortable, they even seemed to walk closer to each other becoming more comfortable with each other’s presence.

“So, what do you think so far?” She asked Emily linking her arm around hers. Surprised, Emily paused before smiling at her and placing her free hand on Jessie’s. “This is amazing!”

“Yeah, my dad is pretty great huh?” Jessie asks with a grin. Emily trips having been caught off guard by the unexpected implication of the question. “I... wha...” She glances over at Harry, who had shot a look over at Jessie, and tries not to blush as she searches for what to say. “Well, I mean.... least he’s not grumpy anymore.” Jessie giggles and Harry huffs. “And he does know how to be very detailed,” she continued. “I’m honestly surprised how emotive he became explaining everything.”

“I can be enthusiastic,” Harry near pouted.

“Everyone *can* be enthusiastic, it’s just surprising *you* managed it. Given your past interactions, can you blame me for not believing?” Emily asked. Harry paused before shrugging. “Alright, I’ll give you that one,” he relented. Emily smiled before looking down at her feet while they walked, Harry doing the same, and they continued in awkward silence until Jessie spotted Jitters near by. How fortunate they were walking by at that moment, and it seemed they had a new venue featured. “Hey,” Jessie piped up, “why don’t we stop into Jitters for a bit? I could use a coffee or something.”

Harry looked over at the newly repaired bistro and nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. What do you think Estrata?” Emily noticed the ad for the featured venue and pursed her lips with a pause. She had a tingling that Jessie was trying to fenangle something sneaky but nodded in agreement anyway. “Yeah, sure. Good idea, Jessie,” she said emphasizing the name with a suspicious squint her way. Jessie just smiled and pulled her along with Harry following close behind. “Oh? Open mic?” Harry observed quickly reading the sign. “That’s different.”

“Yeah....” Emily said eyeing Jessie again. “Quite the coincidence we happened to walk by as they were featuring such a thing. Huh, Jessie?”

“Yeah, I mean what are the odds?” Jessie tried to dismiss. “Hey, didn’t you say you like to sing in your free time? You should sing something!” Emily crossed her arms looking unamused. “Subtle....”

“Hey yeah,” Harry agreed. “Yeah, that’s a good idea Jessie,” he grinned at her, Jessie doing the same. “I’ll go get some coffee,” she said briskly walking to the counter. “He—wha—“ Emily stuttered trying to counter. “Ok, c’mon,” Harry said ushering Emily toward the back of the shoppe to sign her up. “Wai— n— “ Emily protests trying to switch gears. “Harry, no, please, I don’t— I don’t sing in public. Harry no, do—“ she cut her protests short in an effort to act natural when they met with the open mic organizer. “Hey,” Harry said with a smile. “Hi,” Emily added trying to compose herself. “Hey folks,” the man said with a smile. “Can I help you with sumt’n?”

“Yes! Yes, you can,” Harry quickly answers cutting Emily off before she could try weaseling out. The man raised an eyebrow suspiciously noting Emily’s nervous face and Harry’s overzealous behavior. “And in what way?” He asked cautiously.

“She would..... like to.... to.... sign up for the op—en mic. Thing....” Harry said amid Emily trying to cover his face with her hand as he spoke. The man still didn’t look convinced and darted a look between them. “She sings,” Harry assured. “I sing as a hobby,” Emily clarified. “And not in front of people!”

“Well lucky for you we’re open to all skill levels,” the man said with a smile. “And it looks like you’re the only one who was interested so far. I’ll put you at the top of the list, I just need a name.” Emily gave a long sigh and stared at Harry, who just smiled tilting his head encouragingly at the man, before begrudgingly answering. “You can put down Estrata.”

“Ah, what a unique name,” he commented scribbling it down. “We’ll be calling you up momentarily. We’re just waiting to see if anyone else is interested, but it’s looking like you’re the only one. For now anyway.” Harry smiled at Emily who just resorted to glare at him. “Hey have fun,” Harry said turning and briskly walking away and toward Jessie. “I don’t like you anymore,” Emily teased. “You’ll do great,” Harry assured with a wink causing Emily to just roll her eyes. All she could do was watch as Harry met back up with Jessie and they both took a seat to wait for things to start. They both grinned over at her and Emily just half smiled and chuckled shaking her head. “Walking migraines, both of them,” she muttered.

After a few more minutes of anxious waiting, the man greeted Emily again. “Looks like it’s your lucky night,” he said cheerfully. “No one else has signed up so you get the floor all to yourself.” Emily puffed her cheeks and sighed. “Well, maybe after I sing once, someone else will come up,” she wondered aloud. “May well be the case,” the man agreed before walking over to the mic. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank y’all for coming out to C. C. Jitters. Tonight, we’re gonna be trying something a little different, just to see what y’all think.” He smiled waving his hand toward Emily who stiffened out of anxiety. “We have a lovely young lady by the name of Estrata who has graciously agreed to sing for y’all tonight to get this open mic going. So please, don’t leave her all alone up here. If you like what you hear and want to join in and try your hand at it, feel free to step on up.” The man turned and smiled at Emily motioning toward the mic indicating she was free to start. “Just so you’re aware, I’m not a lounge singer in any capacity.” Emily warned. The man just smiled figuring she was trying to find an excuse to leave. “Give ‘em whatever it is you’ve got.”

Emily gave a nervous smile and cautiously made her way to the mic, it had been quite a while since she had done something like this so she was worried she would mess up somehow. “Aaaand I’ve suddenly forgotten every song I ever knew....” she muttered to herself. She looked around in a mild panic before realizing no one was really paying her much mind, Harry and Jessie excluded. “Right, right, lounge singers were somewhat like background singers.” GP popped up next to her and buzzed quizzically. “I dunno what to sing,” Emily hoarsely whispered covering the mic. GP buzzed again with a suggestion and Emily smiled. “Ah, how could I forget that one?”

“Aww, she’s nervous,” Jessie smiled observing Emily standing awkwardly. “She always seems so care free, this is actually really..... adorable.”

“Yeah....” Harry agreed absentmindedly with a smile. Jessie raised an eyebrow peeking over at him. “What was that?” Harry paused before burying his face into his coffee and mumbled something trying to dismiss her inquiry. She just smirked going back to sipping her own coffee and turned her attention back to Emily.

Emily took a deep breath and looked into the audience. Most were still not paying attention but she didn’t care, she’d sing one song and go. Just one. “I.... apologize in advance,” she said to the handful of people watching. “I’m a little rusty, and not a lounge singer so, here goes nothing....” she nodded to GP who started playing the music part of the song and she tentatively started.

* You light the skies, up above me*

*A star, so bright, you blind me, yeah*

*Don't close your eyes*

*Don't fade away, don't fade away, oh*

*Yeah, you and me, we can ride on a star*

*If you stay with me, girl*

*We can rule the world*

*Yeah, you and me, we can light up the sky*

*If you stay by my side*

*We can rule the world*

Her voice cracked and wavered every now and then and her posture was stiff. She felt the same as when she sang at her high school talent show and kept her eyes closed to stave off the panic seeded in the pit of her stomach.

*If walls break down, I will comfort you*

*If angels cry, oh I'll be there for you*

*You've saved my soul*

*Don't leave me now, don't leave me now, oh*

*Yeah, you and me, we can ride on a star*

*If you stay with me, girl*

*We can rule the world*

*Yeah, you and me, we can light up the sky*

*If you stay by my side*

*We can rule the world*

*Oh, all the stars are coming out tonight*

*They're lighting up the sky tonight*

*For you, for you*

*All the stars are coming out tonight*

*They're lighting up the sky tonight*

*For you, for you, oh*

She was still stiff but Harry could tell she was getting more comfortable. He saw her becoming more emotive, even just a little, and started putting some emotion into the lyrics. He smiled nearly forgetting about his coffee, Jessie smirked over at him and continued to sip her coffee acting as though she didn’t see.

* Yeah, you and me, we can ride on a star*

*If you stay with me, girl*

*We can rule the world*

*Yeah, you and me, we can light up the sky*

*If you stay by my side*

*We can rule the world*

*All the stars are coming out tonight*

*They're lighting up the sky tonight*

*For you, for you*

Getting a bit braver, Emily opened her eyes and smiled awkwardly as the new number of people watching, her ears got red when she realized Harry was watching quite close making her voice crack again. She griped the microphone pole tight to ground her so she wouldn’t loose composure as she closed out the song.

*All the stars are coming out tonight*

*They're lighting up the sky tonight*

*For you, for you*

*All the stars are coming out tonight*

*They're lighting up the sky tonight*

*For you, for you*

*All the stars are coming out tonight*

*They're lighting up the sky tonight*

*For you, for you*

Emily let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding and bowed her head a little to signal the end of the song. A few people in the crowd clapped and praised her singing making her smile wide. “Oh, thank you!” she said bowing again. “I’m glad you liked it!”

“Sing another one!” Jessie yelled from the back.

“What?” Emily asked mildly panicking. It grew into a flush when she heard a few other people ask for another as well. “I.... uh...... hmmm....”

“C’mon, that was great! Pleeeease?” Jessie pleaded. Emily glanced over at Harry who had averted his gaze to closely examine a near by wall as he sipped his coffee that was somehow not yet empty. Emily sighed and rolled her head. “Ok, alright. Fine, one more. I’ll give you one more.”

“So, what would you little maniacs like to do first?” She asked after a pause to no one in particular placing her hands on her hips and wiggling her eyebrows as she started again. GP happily started the music moving in what could be interpreted as amusement.

*Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers*

*Shut my eyes and count to ten*

*It goes in one ear out the other, one ear out the other*

*Burning bright right till the end*

*Now you'll be missing from the photographs, missing from the photographs*

* Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers*

*In my thoughts you're far away*

*And you are whistling the melody, whistling the melody*

*Crystallizing clear as day*

*Oh, I can picture you so easily, picture you so easily*

*What’s gonna be left of the world if you’re not in it*

*What's gonna be left of the world, oh*

Feeling far more comfortable than before, she began acting out some of the lyrics and danced a bit in place. Harry even noticed she was smiling more, mainly at GP as he flew around her.

*Every minute and every hour*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

*Every stumble and each misfire*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

*Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers*

*Caught off guard by your favourite song*

*I'll be dancing at a funeral, dancing at a funeral*

*Sleeping in the clothes you love*

*It's such a shame we had to see them burn, shame we had to see them burn*

*What's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it*

*What's gonna be left of the world, oh*

*Every minute and every hour*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

*Every stumble and each misfire*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

Emily paused and changed her posture to be a bit more composed. "If you want to be a party animal, you have to learn to live in the jungle. Now stop worrying and go get dressed,” she spoke, though somewhat exaggerated, before continuing singing.

*You might have to excuse me*

*I've lost control of all my senses*

*And you might have to excuse me*

*I've lost control of all my words*

*So get drunk, call me a fool*

*Put me in my place, put me in my place*

*Pick me up, up off the floor*

*Put me in my place, put me in my place*

A sudden small jolt of confidence and mischief prompted Emily to grip the mic and look into the crowd with a challenging look, amusement pulled at her lips every time she sang ‘put me in my place’ and her gaze swept the room ending in a wink.

*Every minute and every hour*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

*Every stumble and each misfire*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

*Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers*

*'Cause every minute and every hour*

*I miss you, I miss you, I miss you more*

She smiled and giggled when the song ended, she had the attention of most of the room now and the applause was much louder this time around. She bowed again and attempted to leave when the crowd protested again. “No no,” Emily dismissed. “No, I’m— I was in the middle of.... something. I should get back to that. The.... thing....”

“Oh c’mon,” Harry called out. “You can do one more.” Jessie’s eyes grew wide in surprise as she looked over at her dad, his arms were crossed over his chest and he had a sly smirk threatening to spread over his face. She smiled and giggled turning to look at Emily, who was just as surprised, before chiming in. “Yeah, one more! Please?”

“Yeah, please?” a young woman called from another near by table. Emily recognized her and her two friends as the ones who hung around her table whenever she visited the shoppe on her accidental trip a while ago. She smiled awkwardly and chuckled nervously as her face became rather rosy. “Alright, alright. One more, but this is the last one!” The room cheered and clapped as they waited in anticipation. She gave a long sigh into the mic and gave a stern look at Harry. “You see, Harry, this is why I don’t sing in public,” she said with her mouth close to the mic. Harry just grinned with a chuckle. Emily sighed with a growl preparing for what she hoped to be her last number.

* Sometimes you need a reason*

*A little love you can't believe in*

*A little hug, a little day dreaming*

*Apparently there's some correlation*

*Between hearts and outer space*

*All I'm really trying to say is*

*That I'm just a Sagittarius and we're kind of spontaneous*

*So let's fly out to Vegas and find an Elvis to marry us*

*Don't try to argue with the moon*

*We can blame it on the stars*

*Oh, come on let your heart just breathe*

*Stars, oh, come one let your guard down*

*And we can blame it on the stars*

Having accepted the fact she wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, Emily decided to dance along while she sang as GP flew around adding to the up beat mood. Harry watched happily as she slid back into her carefree personality, Jessie also amused by the shift in behavior so quickly although more so with her father encouraging the events and enjoying himself.

* We'd like to think that we're waiting*

*On a previous reservation*

*It's all written in the constellations*

*Now I don't know, but neither do you*

*Truth is, it's a good excuse*

*For both our hearts to let loose*

*And I know that you're a Cancer*

*Which means you like holding hands*

*So show me how to do this dance*

*And spin me like a ceiling fan, oh*

*Don't try to argue with the moon*

*We can blame it on the stars*

*Oh, come on let your heart just breathe*

*Stars, oh come one let your guard down*

*And we can blame it on the stars*

* I read your horoscope*

*And baby you should know*

*Just what your future holds*

*Let your hips move*

*Let my fingers find you*

*Wrap my arms around you, here we go*

*Stars, oh, come on let your heart just breathe*

*Stars, the stars, stars*

*We can blame it on the stars*

*Oh, come on let your heart just breathe*

*Stars, oh, come one let your guard down*

And we can blame it on the stars*

*We can blame it on the stars*

*We can blame it on the stars*

~~~~

So I miss judged the length of this one and had to break it up. It’s juuuuust over the post limit. Stay tuned for part twwoooo 🥔🎨

[heli0s-writes]

VII. Blessed Be the Mystery of Love

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes Summary:  An epilogue. Six months later. A/N: The last chapter! And with that, Mystery of Love has concluded :)

A large hand paws lazily at your back as you fix the blouse you’d just slipped on. It had taken you almost an hour to get out of bed and even longer to get ready today, so you’re in a bit of a mood when the same hand starts walking itself up your shirt. You slap it with a sharp thwack and it retreats with a sniveling whine.

There’s a rumbling of laughter that follows as you slip your blazer over your shoulders.

Rolling your eyes, you land them on the bed where your two lovers lie. Steve is nursing his offending hand under his cheek as he peers up with his signature ocean gaze. Bucky is lying on his back, inoffensive limbs tucked neatly behind his head, telling you: look at me, I’m a good boy.

They’re both shirtless, taut chest and abs radiant in the chiaroscuro light your vanity table provides. The striped comforter comes up to reach just beneath their waists and you know for a fact Bucky’s completely nude this morning, but avert your gaze.

“Brat...” You shoot at Steve instead, who pouts even more. In the mirror, you swipe on a quick layer of mascara before slinging your purse over your shoulder.

Crossing your arms at the foot of the bed, you regard the men lying in it, eagerly awaiting your attention. It’s such a comical sight, you think, as you step from one heeled foot to the other, blazer fixed neatly and buttoned. You, nearly 70 years younger than them, look like some kind of sugar-momma or dominatrix, in complete command of two compliant subordinates.

As naughty as they were, keeping you up last night after they returned from a three-day-long mission, you couldn’t help but melt under their coquettish-bitten lips and puppy-dog sulking eyes. You’d been woken up past midnight and weren’t able to sleep until nearly three in the morning, and they both knew you had to be up at six.

It wasn’t entirely their fault, of course, since it only took half a mischievous bite to your neck from Bucky before your clothes were completely shed.

“Boys, this is ridiculous.” You want to be stern, but their absolutely endearing expressions melts your mood right off. A tiny quirk of your lips appear and they quickly match your countenance.

“Does that mean you forgive us?”

Your smile says more than enough. Yes, of course. Always.

“Good. I’ll drive.” Steve rises from the bed and Bucky follows. They head into the restroom to brush their teeth before pulling casual clothes on in a rush, eager to spend as much time with you as possible. You’d been taking the car by yourself for the past week, but you do love it when Steve drives. They’re much better company than what your radio can give you.

At the car, Bucky pinches your bottom and climbs in before he shuts the door.

“You know,” Steve grumbles, squinting at the rearview mirror image of Bucky nipping at your ear, “I thought you’d sit up here with me.”

“Nah, pal. I’m much better company. ‘Sides, you don’t need any distractions while you’re driving. But me? I’m a free agent back here.” He starts peeling your skirt upward, “How bout you, hon?”

You only laugh, catching Steve’s eye before intertwining your fingers in Bucky’s and kissing him, leaning your head against his shoulder. Steve puts on a song and starts singing along.

The drive is a lengthy one, and it gets even more tiresome when you get into the city. Steve is in bumper-to-bumper traffic as you gaze off in contemplation.

The last six months of your life have been the absolute nuttiest, you think, watching the streetlights go past against a gradient of orange, pink, and blue hues. Sunrise has started coming up a little bit later, now that it’s well into fall, and the chilly morning air lets Steve roll the windows down a bit.

He’s taking you to work, and it’s a procedure that you’re still trying to get used to.

You started two months ago at Cooper Union- just a visiting artist position, but still one that you take very, very seriously. Byrne kept good on his promise after the show and had given you a list of opportunities to interview for. It’s all by choice, anyway, since the profit from the show totaled more than enough to set you up comfortably for at least five years. And that’s saying quite a lot considering that you live in Manhattan of all places.

You wanted to start your job with baby steps to avoid overwhelming yourself in an academic setting. Being a visiting artist gave you a lot of freedom and just the right amount of responsibility.

The position entailed no more than three public speaking events, your own studio to develop a show at the end of the semester, and the opportunity to work closely with a mixed group of graduate and undergraduate students as their mentor. You were required to be on-campus at least once a week, but you usually went in twice just to keep your office open.

So far, it had been smooth sailing.

You look from Steve up front to Bucky at your shoulder, sighing happily and nuzzling deeper into his chest, flicking his nose with your finger. He growls playfully in response.

This had been smooth sailing too, save for a couple of rainy days and one very turbulent storm. All natural and expected aspects of being in a relationship. The biggest fight you’d had so far was a furious row after a mission where you were so cross afterward that you didn’t speak to either of them for an entire night.

You had sat in on the debriefing out of curiosity and learned that they’d taken an impulsive risk that had put their lives in more danger than the mission anticipated. Even worse, this was a regular occurrence. Tony called them the “Super-Annoying Soldiers”.

That night, you slept in Bucky’s room and ordered them into Steve’s.

The next morning, they both came in, stammering, apologetic, promising that they would never, ever be that careless again. The make-up session lasted four hours and you emerged around noon thoroughly convinced and dog-tired.

 The three of you learned new things about each other every day.

For example, Bucky religiously ate bad Chinese take-out and Steve danced in the shower. Steve loved it when you pulled his hair and Bucky loved pulling your hair. The three of you spent nights fumbling all over each other when they had time at the compound, and if one of them happened to be away, the other two would Facetime when possible. It wasn’t a necessity, by any means, it was more of consideration; they were also content to let each other be with you privately.

Jealousy never arrived to bother any of you.

In fact, you often let the boys have time to themselves. Especially on your days at work. There had been many evenings when you’d come back to the compound after dinner and they were cuddled up on the couch, enjoying a movie or a nap. It was the sweetest thing. Sam and Clint took many pictures and both turned red after you casually mentioned that they should see pictures of what else the Steve and Bucky get up to when you’re not around.

“Because... they get up to a lot. I’m not always a necessary part of the puzzle, you know.” A single wink was all it took for your friends to high tail it out of the room.

It was a running joke with the team that the three of you had a very adventurous sex life together- as predicted by Tony. Admittedly, yes, it was exciting, but beyond the sex (and there was quite a lot of it- so many positions and scheduled water breaks), you were more than happy to just sit with a cup of tea and a board game, or going for walks, or watching them spar. You had even started to go on short jogs and spent time working out with them as well. It was painful at first (leg day was fine, chest day was the devil’s invention), but the showers together afterward really made up for it.

Every day brought something new to the table.

Last night, after Bucky fell asleep on the edge of the bed a little past three, Steve settled in the middle and you laid your head on his chest, kissing the sweat-slick skin beneath your lips.

“Hey...” You began slowly, pressing your mouth to his neck.

“Mhm... Hey back,” he parroted, slurring through the sleepy fog. “What’s on your mind?”

“Honestly, kind of a lot...?” You felt yourself come down from the high peak of love and marching up a peak of anxiety. You had started to babble about the mechanics of domesticity because the television prompter in your brain began to marquee way too fast. This ritual of sleeping together and waking up together had been blossoming into some future fantasies that you’re not sure how to bring up. You supposed this was as good of a time as any.

Steve was a bit stunned from your sudden outburst, “Hold on honey... Let me wake up for this.”

“Sorry... But Steve,” You rambled onward, “What about being Captain America? And how does that I don’t know- what does that mean when it comes to a family? Marriage? Children?” Your face burned at the thought of a little blue-eyed toddler running around by your feet, perhaps fair-haired, or rowdy and cleft-chinned.

You’d been dreaming about it at night, blanket forts and stuffed animals, a nursery, and a crib, and a mobile full of stars. The rational side of your brain chastised it- you were too young, you wanted to keep exploring the world, getting used to your position, and your relationship. The rational side also continuously brought up the fact that the father of your children would be one of two Super Soldiers- Jesus, maybe both, whose lives were always precariously balancing on … God, you didn’t know what.

Underneath you, Steve buzzed awake—as much as he could.

“Well… I’d love that.” He exhaled a deep breath, arm coming up to rub your shoulders. “Always wanted to be a dad, but let’s start with uh, maybe sleep for now. What do you say?”

You mumbled against him, “I didn’t mean to sound like I’m rushing you into those things, by the way. I suppose it was just a natural discussion to bring up.”

“I know, sweetheart,” Steve had rubbed his nose against your ear, breath warm and inviting. You distinctly felt a smile grow on his face. “I also know Bucky would appreciate being in the loop. Let’s save it for the morning.” He placed a hand on Bucky’s bare back, drawing circles along his spine as he groaned in his sleep.

You kissed your man sweetly, and before you knew it, you’d fallen dreamlessly asleep in his arms.

-

“Ready, honey?” Bucky squeezes your thigh, snapping you from your daze. He’s a little concerned that you’ve been so quiet for the whole trip, and grumpy that he’d been subject to Steve’s awful bellowing. The car’s parked on the street, about a block away. “You okay?”

“Yes, sorry... just thinking about our conversation last night.”

Bucky’s eyes light up delightedly, “Kitten, I don’t know if dirty talk counts as a conversation... but I’m all ears.”

“Buck, you fell asleep early. We talked about havin’ kids, pal.”

“Mhmmm—what?” After a pause, with you and Steve exchanging concerned looks, Bucky grips your hand so tightly it almost hurts, “Babe, I... I... wh-” The expression on his face changes from shock to concern, then finally, it knocks the air from your lungs when he looks at you.

“I can’t... I can’t.”

You see the storm over the horizon in Bucky’s eyes. His blue fades into grey, and billowing clouds have cast a shadow over the sloping mountain of his nose and the sharp plains of his cheeks. You can only console him with a sad smile and kisses along his jaw. He’s lost, now, in the past of his actions, in the raging tempest of thunderous roars and lightning strikes in his mind. It’s all scorched earth and barren wasteland to him. It’s filling your chest up with embers—not for yourself, but for him, and you are struggling to speak calmly.

“It was just a thought, Buck. For the future. Don’t think about it too much.”

You exit the car, kissing both your Soulmates softly. Steve gives you a final lingering look before you disappear down the campus street, starting to fill up with student bodies. Bucky is motionless in the back as Steve shifts gears and takes him back home.

-

They spend the next hour arguing in the bedroom, taking their squabble from the car to the garage, to the common area where Natasha raises an eyebrow too sharply for Steve’s comfort. Bucky’s pulling his hair and stomping, Steve’s sitting with both fists clenched on his knees, head leaned back in frustration. It’s moved beyond just the possibility of children, and deeper into the territory of Bucky’s repentance.

It’s a conversation Steve is sick of having because he doesn’t think Bucky needs to repent for anything. Steve has physically fought for this; he’s bled for this. But every time it seems like he might have pushed his boulder to the peak of the hill, it rolls back down on top of him.

“Buddy, you gotta stop.” Steve admonishes, feeling the aggravation building, deflecting a glare from his friend, “We’re not talking about if you deserve kids, Buck. We’re just … talking about kids. That’s it.”

“Look at me, Stevie, what th’ fuck am I gonna do with a kid?” Bucky sputters and waves his arms around, and then he takes his flesh one and points it to his cybernetic one. “Look at me!” There’s a panic in his eyes- the same one that’s lasted for over an hour with no sign of quelling. “She... sh-she can have your baby. I’m not... I can’t be a part of that.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he feels himself clench up with a devastating truth that hurts too much to imagine.

Steve crosses his arms and stands, using his full height to stare down at Bucky. He’s not that much taller, but it’s enough for Steve to say with his body I’m bigger than you and you need to listen to me. Bucky flinches at the hard stare and puts both hands over his face with a groan.

“There is no that without you.” Steve says firmly, arms tucked under each other so tightly his biceps bulge like boulders against his chest. He’s trying not to get angry because he knows it would be like squirting kerosene into a burning building. He needs to smother the fire, not encourage it.

“There is no this without you. We are Bound, all three of us. Buck, this isn’t happening tomorrow, or even next year, or even the year after that. We just talked about the possibility of it in the future.” His voice grows softer the longer he talks, and Bucky’s fear begins to slow to his pace, fizzling out like a candlelight.

“Pal, can you blame her? She’s twenty-three. She’s in love... with you of all people. Gee, Buck. Someone’s in love with you so much they think about havin’ a baby with you... And ya run for the hills.” Bucky mulls it over as Steve approaches, and there’s regret sinking into his stomach as he thinks about your sad eyes in the backseat of the car. He thinks about how you still kissed him before you left.

“Shit. I screwed it up, didn’t I? God. We got the sweetest girl and..” He grimaces, eyes flickering with anxiety.

Steve pats him on both shoulders before pulling him into his arms. Bucky is hard, tense muscle and warm breaths as he leans into Steve and they embrace until he calms down again.

They’ve always been happy to give and receive hugs as friends, often patting each other on the back fondly or comfortingly. It’s been moreso as of late- a result of spending more time together intimately. The hugs are more tender, more loving.

When Steve wakes up in the middle of the night in-between two bodies, he often looks over at Bucky, too, admiring the way he looks when he’s at peace. It’s something Steve’s wanted to see since he found Bucky; it’s something he sees more of every day. He wants to keep it that way.

“Think she’ll forgive me?”

Steve can only laugh as he brushes the hair out of Bucky’s face, rubbing his knuckles over the bristles along his jaw. “Yeah, Buck. Of course.” The sigh against his shoulder once more is a response all on its own.

Steve thinks back to the night he woke up and you were sitting on the sofa crying. It was your first time without Bucky since the three of you had started sharing a bed together. It was the first time you hadn’t slept with both in almost a month; it was long enough to pine for and ache about. You were used to being in the middle, he had thought, so maybe piling pillows on the empty side to simulate a presence might help. You stirred anyway.

He quietly sat down next to you, kissing your bare shoulder that peeked out from under the throw blanket. There were tears in your eyes as he cradled you in his arms.

“I miss him too. He’ll be back soon.”

“It’s not that…” You sniffled, “I was just thinking about... something Pietro told me.” You turned to him, crossing your legs and opening up the blanket to invite him in. Steve wrapped the edge as much as he could around his large frame and pulled you into his lap.

“What’s that?”

“Remember that day I came back, and you saw me by the pool?”

He nodded. Of course he remembered. He had spent three days in agony, feverish at night, freezing in the morning, waking up dripping in sweat. His chest hurt every waking moment and only ached even more in Bucky’s presence as if it was the Binding’s reminder to them that there was a missing piece that wouldn’t be forgotten. Seeing you by the pool that day extracted all of Steve’s pain in a single scoop. He had almost slipped running out of the room to catch you.

“Pietro said... There are two meant to love you. You never have to wonder, it is wonderful.”

He didn’t understand why you looked so sad until you glanced over to the bed where the pile of pillows had been kicked off, exposing the vacancy. “Do you think… Bucky knows that? I don’t wonder about the future and think that either of you will leave me, and I don’t think about me leaving either of you.”

You paused to wipe your cheeks, “But does Bucky know? Does he still think that he’s unlovable? He never tells me the truth, but I see it when he’s just looking at me. It hurts, Steve. I’m so worried all the time. I don’t want him to wonder about us.”

Steve Rogers kissed you that night with the intensity of a lover leaving for war. He held onto you so tightly you thought you might sink inside of him. He made love to you on that sofa in the darkness and caressed the tears on your cheeks so sweetly you cried. He had seen more and more of your heart every day, and it filled him with so much love it sometimes hurt. You loved them, together, equally, and separately, with their individual flaws and quirks.

And God, Steve thinks, there are a fucking lot of flaws.

“Buck,” Steve says, taking his friend’s face in his hands, fingers running through the dark mane. “She loves you. She loves you more than she knows what to do with. You can’t treat yourself like this. It hurts all of us.”

Another silence envelopes them as Steve holds onto him, massaging the back of his head tenderly. They break apart after another long moment before sending each other half-smiles and understanding nods, affirmations exchanged through smiles and blinks. Bucky speaks first.

“I love you too, Steve.”

 -

The boys arrive around two to pick you up and wave from the car, parked outside of the Art Building. The students surrounding you eventually let you go but stare open-mouthed at the shiny classic Mustang and Bucky’s vibranium-black hand holding your favorite drink. It’s his own personal white flag. The conversation is casual throughout the whole ride as they sit up front and you in the back. You tell them about your day and the work you’ve been up to, mentioning a few favorite teaching moments with students. They listen intently and coil their intended conversation slowly around your own, reading your mood with prudence.

At the compound, it’s turned up many notches when Bucky falls to his knees and lays his head against your tummy.

“I’m s’rry, babe.” He mumbles “S’rry I jumped t’ conclusions and... I’m such an idiot. Please don’t be mad with me, even if I deserve it.” His twang comes back when he’s emotional. The slurring of his ‘r’s and dropping his vowels brings a slight pinch to your chest when you think about all of the things he’s been through and how he could have so easily have just been another soldier returned from war, living out the rest of his days as a Brooklyn boy. But the path he’s been on has led him to this moment, to this darkness inside of him.

You pat his head gingerly, watching the smile grow on Steve’s face as he stands beside you. You know this is his doing, pulling Bucky from his own trap and bringing him back out. You’ve spent enough time with him to know that without help, Bucky will torture himself for days, biting off his own tail in a box of his own design.

“Bucky, the problem isn’t that you jumped to conclusions; the problem is that you think you’re an idiot. And that you think you deserve it.” You’re stern with him but continue to pet his hair.

He nods, over and over frantically, but you’re not sure if he really hears you. He wants this moment to be finished, you think, and so for now you’ll let it be. Sometimes you had to pick the right battles to fight, and for now you were content with this battle ending how it will. You don’t mind repeating it later, you know Bucky needs more assurance than most, and you’re happy to a part of that constant thing for him.

For now, he wants to be touched. It’s how he knows you still love him.

So you do. You kiss him all over. Steve latches on to his wrist and takes him to the bed. You both undress him and then yourselves. Bucky lies on his back, still sorrowful and regretful, but as the two of you hang over him, fingers intertwined, he feels his sadness vanish into the sheets.

Between your soft hands and Steve’s firm grasps, Bucky falls apart completely.

When Bucky goes to starts the bath, you spend a few minutes lying in bed with Steve just to caress him. You want to let him know too that he’s just as important, that you care just as deeply and passionately for him.

“You’re amazing.” He says, eyes dancing under your gaze, “He’s just stubborn. Always has been.”

“Mmm,” you smile back, “Reminds me of someone I know.”

“Who’s that?”

You pretend to contemplate it before planting countless kisses on his lips. “Come on, he’ll get fussy if we’re late.”

He gives you a piggy-back ride to the tub.

They take turns lathering you up and each other in the water, in-between playful splashing and affectionate touches. The three of you are a sight to behold, all covered up in soap suds with mops of wet hair. Steve dutifully washes the shampoo from Bucky’s locks as you lean your head on his shoulder, patiently waiting your turn. They start getting into a powwow about whose turn it is to do the laundry next and you space out, smiling into the mass of bubbles when you feel Steve’s fingers spitefully leave Bucky’s hair and go to yours.  

You know he’s stubborn. Steve is too. And so are you.

It doesn’t really bother you when Bucky gets into one of his moods, because you know he’ll always come back. It doesn’t bother you either when Steve’s impulsive on missions because he always comes back too. They both know that they must… simply because you’re home expecting them. Unless they’re acting dangerously- which, they’ve promised that they’d stop- you give them all your trust, just like you’ve given them your heart.

You have the rest of your life with them to figure the remainder of it out.

It sinks in, like the soap and bubbles, like the perfume of the shower gel and the gentle motions of Steve’s hands on your body. It sinks in that for the rest of your life, you’ll have them, both of them. No matter where your paths take you, you’ll be walking hand-in-hand with two perfect Soulmates by your side.

In the background, Bucky and Steve nag and jab each other with their sarcastic taunts and jibes of past embarrassments. There’s name calling and noogies, pinching, and snapping of teeth against fingers. Bucky blows bubbles in Steve’s face. Steve flicks droplets in Bucky’s eyes.

You lean forward against the edge of the porcelain tub, draping yourself over it and grin at them.

“What’s on your mind, sweetheart?” Steve asks, quieting the chatter and rubs his hand against your spine.

The look you give him melts him on the spot. There’s an unfathomable light in your eyes, swimming in something unspeakably loud but necessarily silent. He wants to pull apart the puzzle of it, finding the pieces that you’re keeping to yourself, but something keeps him immobile. Bucky splashes as he leans forward too, intrigued by the look on your face.

Saying nothing, you turn back around, humming a tune and motioning for Steve to continue. You’ll let them contemplate, you think, because eventually they’ll arrive at the same ending that you have. Bucky might take a while longer than Steve, but that’s okay too.

It’s kind of funny that you’d gone through so much of your life fearing love to the point of near madness and physical ailment. It’s so strange to think of how in the span of six months, you’ve transformed into a person so far removed from who you were then.

At 23, you had once rejected love.

But also, at 23, you’ve solved the mystery of love. Its disarray of angst and apprehension that’s long gripped your mind has been untangled by your dutiful hands. It’s Gordian Knot has been completely dissembled, slipping away into the depths along with your fear and anxiety.

You now tread over its strands, blissfully following the trail leading to your lovers’ embrace.  

[mister-lady]

geez, i love your writing so much. water totally does have a taste tho. otherwise when you went to other places besides your house you wouldn't think that the water tasted weird there!!! which i'm now realizing might just be a me thing lol. anyway! if it's okay to send another prompt (i don't wanna overwork you!) then howa bout 9 with Remus cuz you said you didn't like him at first and the prompt says "forced to spend time together"!!!

*sobs* th-thANK yoUu!!!! And exactly!!!! Water has a taste!!!!! Janus doesn't agree tho smh. I definelty get that tho! One of my friends house that I go to I cant have their water cause it tastes funky to me dkkvkskg.

AAA ILLYYYY🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘💘💘❤💘❤❤❤💘❤💘❤💘❤❤❤🌟❤❤❤❤❤❤💘💘💘💘🌟🌟🌟🌟you're not overworking me at all!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely loving all of these thank you sososoo muchhh🥺🥺🥺🥺👉👈👉👈👉👈👉👈👉😭👈👈😭😭😭🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺💘❤💕❤💕❤💕❤❤💕 this was super fun to do!!! Especially becuase I normally don't talk much about my enemies to lovers thing with Remus so it was kinda nice to almost project it onto here!!!🥰🥰🥰 Also sorry I got a little carried away while writing and it got a little off-topic from the prompt-

Prompt: A moves into a new apartment and wants to check out the closest dog park. Their dog loves it there, especially that one dog that seems to be there almost every time they go. With their dogs being madly in love with each other, A and the other owner, B, are forced to spend more time together as well

Warnings: strong curse words used a minor amount. Very small angst.

----------------------------

Matt had moved into an apartment, hoping to build up some money for a home. He was living the life though, being able to do things when he wanted, without people complaining at him. However, Matt had gotten a little lonely so he did the best solution! He got a pet. Now, Matt normally wasn't a fan of dogs, mainly ones that barked a lot, but when he had been searching through the animal shelter and found a very peaceful dog. It was maybe around 1 year old and it was a small poneramium. Normally small dogs barked a lot but this one was fairly quiet and Matt liked it for that. He named his dog Siskel. Since an apparment was a small place Matt had searched up local dog parks he could take his dog to and let it play for a bit and get some exercise. Matt was unbelievably happy when his dog had found another dog friend! He thought they were adorable together and seemed to get along so well too! What he hated was the rat-bastard that owned the dog. You know how theres the couple in movies that want be together but the parents hate eachother? It was essentially that for Matt, but it was one-sided. The other person seemed to find Matt amusing, even though Matt had often showed that he didn't care much for him. Sometimes Matt would feel bad for the way he treated the person, he never gave him a true chance. But then the person would say something that made Matt stop feeling as guilty. The downfall for Matt was that he had scheduled days that he could go to the park where he had free time so it's not like he could ignore the other guy either. Plus, he would feel bad for depriving his puppy of it's friend just because Matt had been salty.

Matt had currently been sitting on a bench at the dog park and was keeping a close eye on Siskel. He made sure to keep his dog on a leash incase it did go to do soemthing bad, he could pull it back, plus, he didn't have to worry about Siskel running off either. Matt could tell just by the way his dog acted, that it was impatiently waiting for it's friend to arrive. Matt was trying to take it's mind off of waiting for it's friend and was throwing a pinecone for his dog. He would use a toy but if another dog came up who knew wheres its mouth had been? Siskel knew not to fully bite on the pinecone, but it would still bark at it and pretend to play with it. Matt couldn't help but smile as he watched. Though, poor Matthew's smile didn't last for long as he felt the same ol' guy sit next to him. Matt knew a little information about him, like his name and such, but only because he had told him like Matt had asked.

"Hey, Maaattttt!!" He chimed.

"Hi, Remus" Matt huffed.

Matt watched as the dogs quickly ran up to eachother and played with a pinecone together. It was very wholesome. However Matt casted a confused glance towards Remus, not understanding why he was so silent.

"You're quiet." Matt commented, while raising an eyebrow.

"I am?" Remus asked, as if he wasn't aware of what Matt was talking about.

"Yeah, normally you're rambling on about something that happened to you, or about how you poisoned your enemies cake or soemthing." Matt soon regretted speaking up, as he watched a very amused smile grow across Remus's face.

Remus gave Matt a very tight hug, causing Matt to squeak from alarm. Matt couldn't help but notice now warm Remus had felt and he could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed.

"Wh-.. what?" Matt questioned.

"You do listen!!! I was always afraid you never listened to my stories!" Remus seemed to be bursting with excitement.

"Well, I mean I kinda have too, you tail me around against my will." Matt flatly pointed out.

"Pssshh, yeah cuase you don't like me. Totally"

"I hate you. And why are you still hugging me??"

Remus withdrew and let go of the hug. Matt could've sworn he thought Remus looked a little upset for a moment, but if he did it was quickly replaced by happiness.

"You knowwww... it took you a little while for you to tell me to stop hugging youuu" Remus teased.

"You're honestly the biggest idiot I know and it hurts to be around you."

"You can insult me all you want but it's not going to change the fact that you like my hugs!"

"You're a lunatic and burn down places. The last thing I want is your hugs."

"Is that why you let me hug you?"

"I didn't let you hug me! If I did I would've hugged back. But I didn't."

"You let me hug you and you listen to what I say? Mmmmm... I'm pretty sure you like me."

"I don't like you, I'm just that lonely."

"Most people that don't like me get a restraining order, so you must like me to some extent, right?" Remus gave Matt a puppy-eyed look.

Matt groaned in annoyance. "I just might if I have to sit here any longer."

"That's not a no~"

"And it's definitely not a yes."

"Well, it's not a no, so I'll take what I can get."

"You're a dunce."

"I still don't see why you hang out with me so much then."

"Hang?? Out?? I-? Me??- with yOu??-" Matt stumbled over his words in aghast. "Okay, I certainly don't, and would never, hang out with you, Remus. You come up to me. I deal with it because for some stupid reason my dog likes your dog, and I do what's good for my dog because I have a little bit of common sense."

Remus pouted at Matt's little tangent and crossed his arms. "Fine. I won't talk with you then. Maybe then you'll like me more."

Matt shook his head, "Why do you care so much for whether I like you or not?"

Remus only glared at him and didn't respond. Matt decided to take the opportunity of peace and quiet, however, as time started to pass, he felt like something was bugging him. Like he was itching to do soemthing and he didn't know what. Like something was...off. He gave Remus a curious glance, wondering if he had done something, but by the looks of it he was behaving like a decent human being. If that was the case, then what was bugging Matt?? He had gotten what he wished for, had he not? He subconsciously gave Remus an almost longing kind of look, and Remus met his gaze for a split second, only to look away. Matt couldn't help but fear a pang of hurt in his heart, only to be quickly filled with frustration at himself. Remus complete was the opposite of a normal, decent, and civilized person. All he did was annoy Matt, so why did Matt feel bad? He quickly answered his own question. Remus hadn't done anything bad directly towards Matt, and Matt had acted like a huge douche towards him for no reason. Matt felt his eyes water up a bit at the realization and quickly blinked it away. He felt terrible for the way he had acted.

"I'm sorry." Matt spoke, his voice cracking a little bit causing him to inwardly cringe.

Remus looked at him, but gave him a questioning look as if asking him to go on.

"I'm sorry for being a massive and terrible douche towards you. You hadn't done anything wrong, if anything, out of all the things you've told me about I should be lucky that you didn't do anything to me and I'm really, really, sorry and I know that doesn't really change anything but I completely understand if you don't forgive me, and honestly with the way I've treated you I probably don't deserve your forgiveness." Matt had gotten repeatedly choked up as he spoke and had to keep clearing his throat or blinking away the water in his eyes in a sad attempt to hide what he was feeling.

Remus eyes had widened in surprise. That was by far not what he had expected at all. He didn't expect too much of an appology especially from Matt, so the heart felt appology took him a few seconds to process.

"..Matt?" Remus spoke.

"Yea?"

"Can I hug you?"

Matt quickly nodded his head and felt his face twist as he felt a few tears go down his face agaisnt his will. He didn't realize all the weird feelings he had subconsciously bottled up, but as Remus tackled him into a hug, almost knocking him off the bench they had been sitting on, Matt couldn't help but sniffle a little bit. He felt the warmth from Remus engulf him again, and his mind drifted to how nice Remus's arms and hands had felt to be wrapped around him. Matt tried to calm down his sudden emotions and breathed a little more slowly, and slowly slithered his arms up and around Remus's back and rested his head on his shoulder.

"We never speak of this to anyone." Matt mumbled.

Remus giggled and nodded his head in agreement, causing Matt to laugh a little bit himself.

"I knew you always liked me a little bit." Remus teased.

[i-am-amy-amy-is-me]

If you're feeling up for requests what bout a jealous yancy or damien x reader?

Here is a Yancy x reader under the read more, thank you for requesting, I can’t believe I actually got a request half thought you accidentally asked the wrong blog but who am I to refuse?

Also a bit more of Yancy longing than being jealous.

I hope you enjoy!

“Hey Tiny!” you called out to her, walking in the yard

“Hey cutie.” she quipped back just as quickly, a wink thrown at you, assuring you it was all in jest.

You chuckled quietly, trying to hide your humour behind a neutral and tight-lipped expression, probably failing, especially considering Hank’s laughter.

Your shoes felt cold, the fresh morning dew soaking the thin fabric. The opportunity to sit on the picnic table and lift your feet was a welcome one, and you did so, watching everyone’s slow breaths turn to vapor in the frigid air. 

Silence hung around you.

No one dared speak and break the moment, all listening to the quiet chirp of birds and scattering squirrels. And although you loved these moments, the pieces of time where everything stopped and all stilled, you had a question.

“Where’s Yancy?”

“Dunno.” Jimmy said. “Probably writing a new piece somewhere.” He stopped for an instant, examining you more closely. “Here, you look cold.” He continued, giving you his large denim jacket.

“Thanks”

You stood up, a new purpose in your walk. Turning around, you saw a figure rush back inside. “I think that was him.” Tiny said, “He’s the only one with gelled back hair in this place.” You agreed, jumping over the bench and speedwalking to the door. Partially because of the wet grass that froze your feet with every step, partially because you just really wanted to see Yancy.

I wonder if he’s written anything new?

Life here wasn’t as hard as you’d expected, actually pretty accurate to Yancy’s musical retelling. Your favourite, though, was the cells. Fairly large for prison cells, yours was at the end of the hallway, offering more privacy, privacy you didn’t know you enjoyed until now. Plus it was right next to Yancy’s. Countless nights the two of you spent talking about everything and nothing, life before and after, thoughts and reasonings, as well as song ideas. Those were your favourite. Beautiful songs, meaningful lyrics (although sometimes they were plain silly), heard only by you.

The warmth of the building was a welcome feeling, the early hours’ cool bite still lingering on your skin as you walked to the cells, knowing you’d find your pretty little jailbird down there.

“Hey Yance?” You called out, seeing as he wasn’t in his cell. A noise alerted you to a presence in yours, and, low and behold, it was Yancy. “Hey, what’s up?”

He was laying on the bunk, blankets huddled around him like a burrito. “Nothin’” he mumbled.

You carefully sat by him. “You ok, big guy?”

He tightened the soft blankets around himself, hiding his blushing face from your view.

“You have any new songs you’re ready to show me?” you tread softly, trying to get him out of his cocoon. He lifted his head. “I’d love to hear you use that ukulele you got.”

“Sure.” He sheds the blankets quickly, turning to head to his cell, but he paused, frowning.

“So, youse and Jimmy got somethin’ goin’ on?”

You looked down, humming as you remembered. “Oh yeah, that’s his jacket. It was cold out, he gave it to me.”

“Oh.” he nodded, staring at a spot on the wall, shuffling out of the cell and coming back with his ukulele. He tuned it for a few seconds, not meeting your eyes. “This is… well, I guess youse’ll see.”

He coughed, clearing his throat before testing a few chords. Then, he sang.

“Wise men say / Only fools rush in / But I can’t help falling in love with you / Shall I stay? Would it be a sin / If I can’t help falling in love with you? / Like a river flows / Surely to the sea / Darling, so it goes / Some things are meant to be / Take my hand, / Take my whole life, too / For I can’t help falling in love with you / For I can’t help falling in love with you.”

As the last note held for a few seconds in the echo of the cell, you took a moment to appreciate the song. "I, I knows it ain’t an original song, but I thought..”

“That was beautiful Yance.”

“Oh.” Red coated his cheeks, a goofy grin spreading across his face. “Thank youse.” The two of you sat in silence for a bit, and while you were appreciating the stillness of the room, Yancy’s fidgeting was a bit distracting.

“You alright?” you asked, hoping he might tell you this time.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, no no, yeah.” he shuffled, looking away. “So anyways,” he says, promptly changing the subject. “Youse and Jimmy, huh?”

You hummed in confusion. “What about me and Jimmy?”

“W-well,” his smile seemed strained. “I means, how long has the two of youse been, ya know?”

You frowned, still not getting it. “Wait.” it dawned on you. “Do you think I’ve been dating Jimmy?”

“Youse haven’t?” his smile was much lighter now, a strong contrast to the tight expression he held before. You shook your head, deciding to ignore the sigh that left Yancy’s mouth.

“Besides,” you said. “I have my eyes set on someone else.”

Yancy’s smile wavered once again. “’s it Tiny? Saw the two of youse bein’ friendly. She’s real nice, ain’t she.”

“No, not her.”

“Wait, then.. Hank?" 

“No." 

"Sparkles?" 

“Nope." 

"Bambam?" 

"He’s already taken" 

"The new blond kid?" 

"Who?" 

"That fella Mark?" 

"Haven’t even thought about him in months" 

"Then who? I’ve named everyone”

You chuckled. “No you haven’t.”

“Oh, Warden. Well, you could do worse, I suppose, but don’t youse think it might-”

“Yance.” you interrupted him before he started rambling. “You haven’t named everyone.”

“Whaddya mean? There’s no ones- why are youse looking at me like- wait”

You couldn’t help but laugh, covering your mouth as the giggles came pouring out. Yancy’s surprised face was too much to take.

“Me?”

“Yes, you goof.”

His smile was almost too wide for his face, his eyes lighting up in the cutest way possible. “Me?” you nodded, smiling back at his joyous face. He leapt towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting you up, his crystalline laughter echoing through the hallways.

Yancy put you down, arms still around you, staring into your eyes, noses practically touching. “Me?” “Yes.” His ecstatic expression made you happier than you ever thought you could be. It melted your heart. You rested your head on his chest, the quiet heartbeat still soft, even with the noise of the exterior.

“Me.”

“You.”

[allgirlsareprincesses]

Sophie Scholl: Somebody had to make a start.

Let’s talk about Sophie Scholl. You’ve probably heard her name before, as she gets dragged out every time someone spots burgeoning tyranny in the mist. Or perhaps you’ve never heard of her, or The White Rose. Let me explain:

Sophia Magdalena Scholl was a young philosophy student in Munich in Nazi Germany. With her older brother Hans, a handful of their friends, and a professor, she helped distribute subversive “Leaflets of The White Rose” exhorting the German people to speak out and fight back against the Nazis. In February 1943, she and Hans were caught and executed by guillotine. Sophie was only 21 years old. Their entire story is fascinating and I strongly recommend reading about it.

It’s easy to understand why the story of The White Rose captures our imaginations, especially in times of social strife: it’s the romantic tale of brave, doomed young idealists who fought back against the greatest evil modern man has known. But it’s a story I often find twisted to suit the needs of a propagandist, and this is a great shame because the truth has so much more to teach us than the sensationalized version.

One of the main goals of Sophie’s interrogator was to discover her motives, or rather to get her to confess that she had no idea what she was doing and had been coerced by her brother and his friends into treason. In the decades since her death, a number of biographers have also tried to divine what motivated this girl to do what almost no one else in Germany would. On the surface, it can seem hard to explain: she didn’t come from a very political family. Except for a few (fairly typical, unfortunately) family members spending days in Gestapo custody on occasion, she was not a target of Nazi aggression. She came from a large and loving family and lived fairly comfortably for most of her childhood. Sophie had been a part of required Nazi indoctrination programs from a young age, and her brothers and friends were soldiers. She showed no rebellious streak and was actually quite shy, except in her letters. An intelligent girl, she knew had many loved ones and comforts to risk with foolish behavior. By all accounts, it seemed she should have gone along with the prevailing winds just as all of her peers did.

And yet, when questioned by the confused Gestapo interrogator (and later the court), she calmly and firmly insisted that she knew the risks and willingly accepted them, explaining simply “Somebody, after all, had to make a start.” What’s remarkable in this statement is the implicit acknowledgement that her efforts probably didn’t have much effect. There’s little evidence that the leaflets of The White Rose affected much public opinion, at least enough to motivate any kind of significant resistance. And Sophie knew that, even facing her death. Yet still, it was worth it to her because SOMEBODY HAD TO BE FIRST. Someone had to take the first stand, futile though it may seem. And that person might lose everything, but it had to be done. She presents her actions as a moral imperative: Sophie Scholl could not have done otherwise.

The best explanation I’ve seen of the Scholls’ actions are this: they were, simply, decent people. Not political firebrands, not glory-seekers with a hero complex, not even coherent theologians (although their religious beliefs were a factor in their moral development); just good people who felt a responsibility to stand against bad people. What’s even more remarkable is the form their resistance took: they wanted not just to stop the Nazis, but to restore the moral conscience of the German people. Over and over, their leaflets appeal to the better natures of their countrymen, begging them not to debase themselves by following the cancer of fascism. From the fifth leaflet: “Cast off the cloak of indifference you have wrapped around you. Decide before it is too late! …. Separate yourselves in time from everything connected with National Socialism. In the aftermath a terrible but just judgement will be meted out to those who stayed in hiding, who were cowardly and hesitant.”

Sophie herself has more to teach us about resistance: she deeply loved nature and art, and even in the worst days of the war, she would go on camping trips or to the opera to enjoy beauty in all its forms. Yes, fighting oppression was a priority, but it was important to remember WHY she was risking everything, and appreciate life’s joys as she could. She kept up a persistent correspondence with her childhood friend (and probable crush or boyfriend) Fritz Hartnagel, even though they had extremely opposing political views. Fritz often argued with Sophie about the value and morality of the Nazi’s actions, but rather than cut him off in righteous rage, or politely avoid the subject, Sophie maintained a warm tone toward him, writing hopeful, excited letters filled with genuine concern and a passionate defense of the good. Later, Fritz would credit her with changing his mind and turning him to resistance, as well.

Perhaps most importantly, Sophie was not perfect. Her letters include bouts of self-doubt, petty sniping, and self-centered rambling. And yet, it’s easy to imagine that their author is the same girl who serenely faced a horrific death. And this is the point: Sophie Scholl was just a girl who knew that “somebody” had to be first to fight back, and she decided she would be that somebody, even if she failed. This is not to take any credit away from Hans, who after all was working on the leaflets well before his little sister became involved, and who likely agonized over his role in her fate. He was extraordinarily brave and deserves to have his story told, as well. But whereas Hans was always going to take the fall when The White Rose was discovered, Sophie didn’t have to. The State gave her every opportunity to deny or minimize her role in the tiny resistance, but she refused. She would not sway from her convictions, even unto a brutal death.

Today, the price of resistance is so low compared to then…. We might get the attention of social media trolls or, at worst, an uncomfortable conversation with the boss who noticed our political activity. But really, most of us risk very little. And there are those who would argue that there’s no comparison to the atrocities, either. I disagree on that point, but regardless, if our conscience is pricking, then it’s time for somebody to make a start. To have an impact, we have to be willing to risk everything for very little gain. We have to be compassionate toward even those who would argue against us. And we have to take joy where we can. Do what you can, where you can, because somebody has to. Might as well be you.

[dukedrakes]

Tell Me

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Rose)

Rating: PG-13??? I guess?? I’ve never rated my work before.

Words: 3.5K

Summary: A little alteration fic where MC confides in Drake.

This is my first ever Choices fic and I’m so nervous to post it but here it is! This was so much fun to write. I haven’t written like this in a long time. It just flowed out of me. This piece is around Book 2 a little before Liam proposes and you’ll see that it deviates from TRR canon for ~reasons~.

Don’t forget to tell me what you think, Reblog and Like! Enjoy!

Rose plastered a smile on her face as she conversed with nobles she couldn’t remember the names of. Delicately holding her champagne flute, she glanced around the room as she nodded absent-mindedly to whatever it was the noble was telling her. She was surprised that she wasn’t used to this. After the lead-up to the Coronation, the Coronation itself and this Engagement Tour, she thought she had grown accustomed to the near constant gatherings and balls where she was required to converse with those in attendance with the utmost poise and politeness, giving everyone the best impression she could to secure theirs and Cordonia’s favour. But it was hard. Exhausting even. 

Each time Rose took her leave for the night after hours of socialising, she felt her body sag with fatigue, tired from showing a façade that made her cheeks sore from smiling and head hurt from the too much champagne and idle gossip. She found it so trivial, the things they spoke about. Who wore it better? She said this, he said that, what a scandal! Rose supposed that Cordonian Court was these people’s world. It was all they had and all they would ever know, ignorant to anything of consequence in the real world. She was lucky she had a few good friends in Liam, Drake, Maxwell and Hana. They kept her sane.

But she’d come here, unprepared and out of her comfort zone. Constantly judged for being a commoner, all because of Liam. She’d spent the last months following him around, vying for his hand. Not that it was hard to spend time with him, she knew he favoured her more than the other girls. Everyone knew it. It made her feel guilty. She, a lowly waitress from New York who had never experienced a day of courtly life or princess training, had the favour of the Crown Prince over girls who had worked their whole life for the opportunity to be Cordonia’s Queen. She felt even more guilty knowing of her secret displeasure for every minute of it.

Rose has always been a girl with goals. They were simple and easy to attain. But they were goals. And being Queen of a small country was not one of them. The thought of being a royal was often romanticised beyond end, but Rose considered it with the absence of those rose-coloured glasses that made everything look easy. No, being a royal would be anything but. The constant scrutiny, private life no longer private, making decisions that have consequences for the entire country, and attending a never-ending supply of balls and dinners. It just wasn’t her. Yeah, maybe when she was six when she thought being a princess or queen was about wearing pretty dresses and a crown and being with the handsome prince. But not now. She could barely handle the pressure now after mere months; she couldn’t handle it if she were a Queen when it would be magnified tenfold.

She couldn’t keep up her resolve much longer.

Drake nursed his whiskey at the bar. He loved his whiskey, but he didn’t think he’d drink as much if it wasn’t for the constant need to numb the incessant banter and socialisation that came with these things. Drake had lost count of how many events like this he’s attended throughout nearly three decades of his life. It’s got to be thousands. He tried to add up the numbers in his head but winced as the fog of alcohol prevented him from using the required brain cells. 

He turned from the bar and scanned the room. He figured out years ago that the best way to survive these events was with a drink in hand and with a bout of people-watching. He found it interesting, the patterns of conversation and personality quirks. He often predicted how conversations would go or more importantly, what drink people ordered. He’d got quite good at it. He observed everyone; the faces seemed to blur together. 

All but one. 

Rose. 

She stood on the far side of the room, caught in a conversation with a noble he recognised but didn’t care to remember his name. She had a smile on her face, but it wasn’t a real smile. No, it barely resembled the smile that often graced her face when she was relaxed and with him and their friends. It wasn’t the smile that made his stomach flip whenever he saw it. It looked more like a grimace, Drake thought as he observed the conversation. He saw her looking around the room, no doubt for an opportunity to escape. 

Despite her obvious distaste for current conversation, she was a natural at the whole court thing. She had a knack for knowing what to say, how to say it and when. She could easily converse with anyone about anything – a valuable skill for Cordonian Court, one he could never seem to master. She practically had the whole court wrapped around her finger save for a few conservatives. It was hard not to, even with her fake smile it was easy to fall for the charms and wiles of Rose Clarke.

He should know.

Regardless of how he presented himself and acted towards Rose and their friends. He knew exactly how he felt. He has never been in denial about his feelings. Not for a while now anyway. Drake has always felt so genuinely and truly, but his almost unwavering will to maintain walls and boundaries to protect himself and those around him often prevented him from acting selfishly. He was so strict on these boundaries, feeling guilty and chastising himself for the slightest bend of will or even the thought of bending will. He couldn’t cross those boundaries. Not with Rose. Not when she wasn’t his to love. He couldn’t do that to himself. But most of all, he couldn’t do that to Liam. Not when he loved her first. Not when she was here for him.

Drake convinced himself that going over there to save her from the dull conversation was not crossing those strict boundaries but was simply in the service of a friend. A friend he happened to love more than he ever thought possible.

“Forgive the intrusion, but may I steal Lady Rose away for a moment? I’m afraid Bertrand is looking for her.” Drake spoke, flawlessly mimicking the proper manners of the nobles that he’d listened to for years.

Rose made eye contact with Drake and gave an expression of relief before plastering on that painful smile. “Of course, excuse me.” She said and followed Drake before anyone could object. She held his arm as she said: “Thank you, I owe you.”

Drake laughed as he led her back to his position at the bar, trying to ignore the feel of her fingers on his blazer. “You looked miserable. I couldn’t leave you in their clutches to be bored to death.”

“You have no idea. I think Sir Franklin? Is that his name? Was talking about all the different types of micro-bugs that live in his lake. Or was he talking about his grandchildren?” Rose pondered with that adorable crease between her brows.

Drake shrugged and scoffed. “What’s the difference?”

“Hilarious. See, why should I listen to pointless blather instead of your entertaining snide remarks?” Rose grinned, a real one this time.

Drake smiled at her fondly, as she ordered a drink. He caught himself as she looked back at him, looking away and taking a sip of his own drink. As Rose received her drink, she held up her glass to Drake who returned the gesture, clinking their glasses together softly as they turned from the bar and looked out into the crowd, a comfortable silence between them.

Drake looked over at Rose as a trembling sigh came from her lips. Her fingers fiddled with the rim of her glass as she looked absently into the crowd.

“You okay, Clarke?” Drake asked tentatively, turning to her.

Rose kept her gaze ahead as she bit her lip before blinking and nodding. “Yes.” She replied, her voice a mere whisper. She continued to nod before the nods turned into shakes, the question of ‘are you okay?’ causing her final resolve to crumble as she looked down.

“Hey, hey, Clarke. What’s wrong? Talk to me.” Drake said gently, placing his now forgotten whiskey on the bar and craning his head a little to look at her face.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Drake.” She said, looking out into the crowd again.

“Do what?” He asked, brows furrowing.

“This. All of this.” Rose said, keeping her head forward, still as he’d ever seen her.

Rose spoke again, and this time she didn’t stop as Drake just listened to every word.

“This isn’t me. It never has been and never will be me. I can’t do the court thing. I can’t attend balls every other night making ridiculous small talk with nobles I don’t care about. I have never wanted this. I did this because Maxwell asked, and I thought it would be an experience of a lifetime. And it was. But I thought it would end. I didn’t know it would last this long. I thought it would just last until Liam chose one of the noble girls and then I would go home. Because there’s no way he would pick me.” Rose rambled.

“And, how could he? I’m a waitress from New York, Drake. I don’t belong here, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to be royalty much less a queen. I have never wanted it. I’m a simple girl from a humble home. Could you imagine if I became queen? I barely know Cordonia and its people. How would I be able to make responsible decisions regarding their welfare and what’s best for the country? An outsider on the throne? What a great idea! Said no one ever.” She laughed but it wasn’t funny.

She paused and took a breath, the next words coming out as a strained whisper. “Why would Liam ask that of me? Why would Liam ask me to give up everything? My freedom? If I marry him, I will never be able to do the things I want to do and achieve the things I want to achieve. I won’t be able to go shopping. Or walk around a park or in the town square, visiting the local café and getting a hot chocolate before going to the bookstore and buying more books, knowing I have a pile 10 books high already at home that I need to read.”

Drake watched her, listening to every word, the world and people around them drowned out like they weren’t even there anymore. He listened to every pause between sentences. Every choked breath. He could see the tears welling in her eyes as she stayed looking at the people in attendance. That façade slowly crumbling before his eyes. His heart ached for her. He hated seeing her so upset. He almost reached out to hold her, but he remembered his boundaries and where he was, clenching his fists so tight his knuckles were white and his fingernails dug into his palm.

“I can’t be here and pretend to be someone I’m not” Rose breathed out, a small tear escaping her eye before she wiped it away as quickly as it came.

Drake stood there; mouth not working. He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? That it would be okay? That Liam would never ask her to give up her freedom for him? He couldn’t. Because she was right. Marrying Liam would mean giving up her life as she knew it. Giving up her freedom to be herself. Yes, Liam would never explicitly ask that of her. But he loved her, and if he chose her and she said yes, she would be signing her life away. And it might be okay, eventually…in a few year’s time, when Rose had fallen into the rhythm of court and knew how to navigate decisions that weighed on Cordonia. But who knows how long that would take or if it would even happen? Why would she give up years of her life hoping for something that may never happen?

But the questions on his mind were ones he didn’t know if he wanted the answers to.

Did she love Liam? Did she love him enough to do this? Or was she just saying this to him as an open ear, to get more of an understanding of herself?

There was silence between them as Drake wondered what to say.

“Clarke…” He started.

“Tell me.” Rose interrupted. She turned her head and looked at him for the first time in minutes or maybe hours? Time had frozen between them. His heart broke at the anguished expression on her face. “Tell me not to say yes to Liam.”

Drake blinked and jerked back slightly in surprise. “What?”

“I know he’s going to choose me. Tell me not to choose him back. Tell me not to say yes. Tell me not to be queen. Tell me.” Rose asked, a desperation in her voice that he hadn’t heard before.

“Clarke…” Drake said again, unable to say anything but her name. “I can’t make this decision for you.” He finally said. “You need to do what is right for you.”

“But you’re the only person who matters.” Rose said bravely but softly, her eyes never leaving Drake’s.

Drake took in a breath and froze. He then cleared his throat. “Clarke…you shouldn’t say things like that.” He shook his head and turned to the bar, seeing his now lukewarm whiskey and taking a sip, his throat suddenly dry.

“But it’s true.” Rose said so quietly he wasn’t sure he heard her. Drake looked at her, she was facing him now, leaning on the bar as she looked at him. Drake’s heart swelled with his love for her. His will and boundaries threatening to break as all he wanted to do was hug her and tell her what she wanted to hear.

“You know I can’t tell you what you want to hear. No matter how much I wish I could.” Drake sighed.

“Why not? What’s stopping you?” Rose asked.

“Everything.” He breathed.

“Tell me.” Rose asked again.

“Why?” Drake flared. “So, if it all goes bad you have someone to blame? So, if you made the wrong decision you can resent and blame me for ruining your opportunity?”

Rose shook her head, unphased by his heated response. “No.” She said simply.

“Then, why?” Drake asked gruffly.

Rose’s breath hitched, she looked down and said quietly – knowing the weight of these words. “So, you can come with me.”

Drake widened his eyes before closing them and sighing, letting his head fall back. “Clarke. You’re killing me.” He shook his head and opened his eyes, looking at her. “We can’t just leave.”

“Why not? We could leave together, live in Cordonia or New York…” She trailed off.

“Clarke, stop. Are you hearing yourself? What makes you think we could do that? Huh?” Drake argued. “I have people here that I care about. I can’t just up and leave like you can. I have Liam. My best friend. Who’s going to do damage control if you leave? Do you even understand the position I am in? I have my best friend, who adores you and would move mountains for you. And I have you, this little stubborn, vibrant and beautiful woman who—”

“Can you shut up and think about yourself for once in your life, Drake?” Rose hissed, ignoring his compliments. “You’re always thinking about Liam and the people around you. How they would feel. How they would be impacted. What about what you want? Huh? What do you want to do? Stop thinking about others and their problems and be selfish for once in your goddamn life.”

Drake blinked at her as she puffed in front of him, the people around them at the bar starting to look at them. He knew she was right. Rose always was. She knew him too well, seeing through every wall he put up like it was glass.

“Clarke…” He started. But she had already placed her drink onto the bar top and was headed out of the ballroom. He watched her go before looking around him, not caring that some people were looking, and ran after her.

He caught up to her down the corridor. “Clarke, wait—”

“I’m sorry.” Rose said when she heard his footsteps to her slow. “I know it was unfair of me to ask that of you.” Rose spun around to face Drake as he skidded to a stop in front of her. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have put that pressure on you.”

Drake caught his breath softly as she went on. “You’re right, this is my decision and I need to make it for me. I was just upset and overwhelmed, and I shouldn’t have gotten angry at you for not say—”

Drake didn’t let her finish her sentence as he demolished his boundaries, cupped her cheeks and kissed her. He could feel her tense in his hands before she relaxed and wrapped her arms around his neck. Drake deepened the kiss and Rose responded immediately. He trailed his hands from her cheeks to her hips as he gripped them firmly before wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her onto her tiptoes. Rose’s hands threaded through his hair as they kissed, not caring who saw them. They were like two halves of the same soul that had finally found each other after centuries apart.

They pulled away breathless, foreheads leaning against each other. “What was that?” Rose whispered, running her fingertips on the back of his neck.

“That was me being selfish.” Drake breathed. “I love you.”

Rose pulled back to look at him, biting her lip as she grinned. “Then tell me.”

Drake took in a breath, hesitating for a moment before he fulfilled her request, the words flooding out in breaths. “Don’t choose him back. Don’t say yes. Don’t be queen.” Drake brought her forehead to his once more as he spoke. His head screamed at him for what he was doing, but his heart…his heart was full and finally satisfied.

“And what do you want?” Rose asked, bringing her hand to cup his cheek and run her thumb over his cheekbone.

“You. Only you.” Drake smiled. His heart pounding. Pounding, but free.

“Then have me, because I love you more than I have ever loved anyone, and I don’t want to be without you ever.” Rose smiled.

Drake broke out into what Rose thought was the biggest smile she’d ever seen him give as he kissed her again before bringing her close, her arms still around his shoulders and spun her gently. Rose laughed as he set her down.

“How could I resist you for so long, Clarke.” Drake smiled down at her with so much love he thought his heart would burst.

“I could say the same, Drake.” Rose laughed. Drake chuckled along with her before the reality of what’s to come sets in.

“How are we going to tell Liam?” Drake asks, his voice small and vulnerable.

“We’ll work it out.” Rose said gently, her hand coming up to put some of his hair behind his ear.

“He’s going to hate me.” Drake shook his head. “Or worse, you.”

“He could never hate you.” Rose soothed. “Liam loves you like you’re his own flesh and blood. Perhaps more. And I don’t think he has a hateful bone in his body but if him hating me means I get to live freely and with the man I love then I’ll gladly accept it.”

Drake shook his head. “You’re amazing, Clarke…Rose. You’re incredible.”

“So, I’ve been told.” She grins before leaning up to kiss him again, not able to get enough of his lips on hers. Drake relaxed under her kiss. She was his kryptonite. God knows how he resisted for so long. He couldn’t imagine being without her kisses and her warmth ever again.

“Now,” Rose said, back to sounding like she usually did – determined and full of life. “we should probably go back inside, we can deal with all this tomorrow morning, but for now, I believe you owe me a dance.” She grinned.

“Oh, do I?” Drake scoffed as they walked back down the corridor together, the promise of forever lingering in the air.

Tomorrow, everything would change, as he had finally broken those walls and told her, and she, him. But for now, they would dance, knowing it would be the last time they would ever do so here, at the palace where they were mere shells of their real selves. No, tomorrow they would finally be free.

Shall I do a Part 2 anyone?

Also, I haven’t got tags, but if you want to be tagged for the next piece let me know!

I hope you enjoyed!

[gaycrouton]

Gentleman

Words of Love 7/27 [Our favorite pair has to deal with a bout of bad luck while on a road trip.]

Gentleman: (noun) a chivalrous, courteous, or honorable man.

From her mere five years assigned to the X-Files, Scully had traveled thousands of miles, experienced most of the fifty states, and became an expert at navigating highways with just a map and compass in hand. Mulder and her had a routine that had been going moderately well. When he found a case he wanted to investigate, he would get the airplane tickets, rental car, and motel while she tied up loose ends at the office and reported back to Skinner. It was a routine that had never led them astray. Until now, that is.

Everything had been going normal; Mulder found a case in Missouri, they had flown to the St. Louis international airport, and their rental car was there waiting so they could make the two hour drive to Grafton. Retrospectively, she should have known this would end badly.

“Mulder, what is that?"

“It’s a vehicle of opportunity, Scully!” She cocked an eyebrow waiting for him to reveal this was an elaborate joke. Mulder, apparently in all seriousness, was currently leaning against a beaten up station wagon that looked like it hadn’t been used since the 70’s. Her presumption had been correct when she noticed the “Vote Jimmy Carter” bumper sticker clinging to the back of the car.

“Did you request this car?” She didn’t know if he was motivated by some unknown nostalgia or if this was an accident, but she was truly at a loss for how this museum on wheels made its way into his hands.

“Well,” he started guiltily, leaning off the car, “actually, I had forgotten to call ahead of time and this was all they had left.”

“Do you think it will make the drive?” She asked hesitantly. She didn’t want to dampen his excitement, but realistically this car was near twenty years old.

“I guess we’ll have to find out,” he replied, making his way to her side of the car to open her door for her, bowing an arm in a show of gallantry, “your chariot awaits.” Scully chuckled and made her way into the passenger's seat. She saw him glance to make sure all her arms and legs were inside the vehicle before he shut it.

She had a moment to fully process the interior as Mulder made his way to the driver’s seat. It looked as old on the inside as it did on the outside. While Mulder sat down she laughed, “The floor mats are made of shag carpet, Mulder,” gesturing to the bottom of the car.

He took a glance down to check and a grin broke out on his face. Meeting her incredulous gaze, he smacked the red dice hanging from the mirror, “Groovy.”

They had made it about thirty minutes before the air conditioning let out its death rattles. In their usual luck, Missouri was experiencing a heat wave in the middle of August. Their only reprieve was the fact the afternoon was weaning.

Scully was uncomfortable, but when she glanced at Mulder after the AC stopped, she could tell he was feeling guilty and didn’t want to make him feel worse by complaining. Most of her current irritation was at herself. She had checked the weather before leaving and she knew it was going to be hot. With a desire to remain professional, she had decided to wear her normal attire, minus the suit jackets, thinking that would make a difference. Wrong.

Now she was sitting in the Missouri heat in a long sleeve white blouse, tucked into a knee-length skirt with pantyhose on underneath, and she was boiling. Trying to subtly alleviate her discomfort, she looked around for something she could tie her hair up with. She usually didn’t carry hair ties on her because her hair was so short that it was usually a redundant effort. Right now she would do anything to keep her hair from sticking to the back of her neck. Her eyes ended up fixating on the only thing that could work, a rubber band that was resting on Mulder’s slim wrist. “Mulder can I have the rubber band around your wrist if it’s not important.”

He glanced at her curiously, but complied nonetheless. He took the rubber band clad hand off the wheel and pointed it in her direction, making her remove it for him. Trying to avoid snagging any of his hair near the band, she placed her fingers on either side of his wrist and slipped them under the band, rubbing her fingertips along the side of his wrist inadvertently. She saw him take his eyes off the road to glance at her ministrations, fixated at her touch. She stretched the band taut and removed it, muttering a shy “Thanks.”

“What’dya need it for?” He asked returning his hand to the wheel and his eyes to the road.

“I just wanted to tie my hair back, and I don’t have a hair tie.” She scooted forward in her seat so that she could move her hands up without hitting her elbows on the seat or the window. Putting the band on her own wrist for the time being, she gently combed her fingers through her slightly damp hair, removing all the tangles. Once she was satisfied she started the age old dance of hair braiding, parting her front into three strands, gradually picking up more hair into each as she made her way down her scalp to the base of her neck. By the time she was finishing, she was bending over slightly in her seat so she could have better access, the top of her head nearly touching the console.

She started to grab the band off her wrist when she felt Mulder graze the nape of her neck with his fingertips. “You missed some,” he said softly. She felt him use one finger to loop some stray hairs into a tendril and gently met her fingers with his own to put the hairs in place. After her initial surprise, she used her thumb to collect the hair being offered and then wrapped them all up with the band, twisting it five times before it would hold on its own. She self consciously ran her hand from her hairline to the two inch-long ponytail sticking outward, making sure there wasn’t any hair sticking out of place. She could feel Mulder’s eyes on her, and her suspicions were confirmed when he said, “It looks nice.”

Sitting back up, she met his gaze and mumbled an appreciative, “Thanks.”

In this moment, she was temporarily happy for the heat. She knew she was irrationally blushing from Mulder’s unrelenting attention, but she could blame any flush on the temperature. However, much to her embarrassment, he still felt the need to ask.

“Scully, are you okay? Your cheeks are flushed,” she looked over at him and saw there was a slight smirk on his face. Asshole.

“In case you forgot, we’re in the middle of a summer heatwave with no air conditioning.” She tried to sound curt to hide her embarrassment, but she knew her voice hadn’t hidden anything.

“Want to roll down the windows? It may get windy, but it might help a little?” He offered. She didn’t give him an answer, she just grasped the window mechanism and rotated it until the window was down as Mulder did the same on his side.

Since the were going seventy on the highway, it was a little aggressive. She felt thin strands of hair escape from her braid and fly around her head, as if caught in a tornado. The strands of her hair that weren’t flying around ended up sticking to her red lip gloss, she assumed she was making quite an image. Taking a glance to her left, she saw Mulder leaning back in his seat with an arm hung over the steering wheel, the other resting on his lap. His shirt sleeves had been rolled up and were bunched up around his elbow, revealing his muscular forearms. Since his hair was so short, the wind was just brushing it back, making it look sleek. Scully couldn’t help but think that he looked like a model in an Armani ad, and she yet again was thankful she could blame her flushed face on the heat.

They were able to make it another hour before the next problem.

“Uh, Scully do you see that?” She had been trying to figure out what crop was growing next to them when he pulled her out of her reverie. When she turned to ask him what he meant, she immediately saw it. Blackish smoke was tufting from under the hood of the car. She gave a concerned affirmation and he pulled the car off onto the shoulder.

They got out of the car together and she watched as he went into full Mulder-mechanic mode. Rolling up his sleeves as high as they could go, he lifted the hood, leaned over the engine, and started assessing the situation. Scully thought she should help, but she was having fun assessing Mulder. She had seen him wield a gun, she had seen him chase down bad guys, but for some reason, seeing him focused this intently, was insanely hot to her.

She didn’t realize she was gawking until she heard him amusedly call out, “Earth to Scully?” Her eyes adjusted quickly, and she was embarrassed to see he was looking at her with a shit-eating grin. “You okay?”

She cleared her throat before offering a weak, “It’s hot.” You’re hot.

He chuckled lightly, “Wow, I never knew you were so affected by heat.” So affected by me. She knew he was on the same page and just offered him a lighthearted glare.

“So what’s the prognosis?” She brought their attention back to the car and away from their loaded innuendo.

“I don’t feel safe driving in it right now. I was never really taught much about cars, they weren’t in my area of interest, so I’m not sure what’s wrong,” he said sheepishly, running a hand up and down the base of his neck, his nervous tick.

“Let me guess, in terms of transportation vehicles, UFO’s were more in your area of interest.”  she teased.

He grasped his heart in mock-admiration, “My, Scully, you know me so well,” earning a chuckle from her.

“So what are we going to do?” She asked, taking in the sun starting to set behind him.

He took his hand off his chest, getting serious. “We passed by a rest stop just about a mile or two back. I was going to walk there and ask them about what to do. You can wait here if you want, I don’t want to make you walk a mile in this heat. Do you have your gun on you or is it in the trunk?” She could tell by his rambling that he was thoroughly uncomfortable with the idea of leaving her in a broken down car on the side of the highway. He didn’t want to insult her though, but was still imagining every worst case scenario in his mind.

She tried to suppress an amused smirk from showing, “It’s fine. Truck drivers love picking up pretty young things on the side of the road. With legs like that, I’d feel much safer walking with you so no one tries to take you.”

He let out the breath he had been holding with a laugh. Obviously relieved that she knew what he had been worried about and wasn’t mad at him. They made their way down the highway talking about different things that came to mind.

When they were about a quarter mile from the rest stop, out of absolutely nowhere, it started to pour. Letting out a disbelieving laugh, they looked up at the sky.

“Luck is really in our favor today,” she sarcastically mused out loud. When she turned to look at him, she noticed, for once it was him who was blushing.

“Uh-Scully,” he started, all the sudden acting like a shy school boy.

“What?” She pressed, worried he had realized something bad. He glanced back to her and she noticed his eyes remained glued to her shirt. Lifting one hand up, he weakly gestured for her to look.

Glancing down, she cursed every god in the book. Today was filled with bad luck and poor decisions. She hadn’t realized how many bad decisions she had made until this very moment. For one, she decided to wear a white top today because the sun isn’t as attracted to light colors. Two, she didn’t wear her usual camisole or tank top underneath because she thought it would be too hot. Third, she didn’t bring an umbrella even though she checked the fucking weather forecast before they left. And Fourth, but most importantly, she decided today was the day she was going to try out her new, nude, sheer bra. The rain left her white shirt absolutely see through and clinging to her skin, but her bra, aided by the rain, left absolutely nothing to the imagination.

Wide-eyed, she looked back at him and noticed he was staring around, at the sky, at the ground, anything to look like he hadn’t just gotten a total eyeful. She crossed her arms over her chest and noticed, with a slight cheer, that he was also crossing his hands in front of himself to hide something. A very impressive something. When he saw her hands move, he decided it was safe to look back.

“Uh-” She muttered awkwardly, not really knowing what to say.

“Do you want my shirt?” The words tumbled quickly out of his mouth.

“What?”

“Do you want to wear my shirt? It’s black and I’m wearing something underneath. We’re almost to the gas station, and um, I don’t want anyone in there-I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” he stuttered his offer, trying to lessen her embarrassment.

And they say chivalry is dead. Scully smiled at Mulder, literally offering the shirt off his back to help her protect her modesty. Usually shows of manliness irritated her pride. But every time he did it, she felt her heart flutter. When he opens doors for her, helps her, tries to hide his boners for her, it was always out of respect for her and she adored him. Fox Mulder, pure-hearted gentleman.

“Yes please. Not everyone deserves to see me half naked.” But you do. She saw him pick up her hidden meaning, and she was rewarded with a full toothed smile.

He quickly unbuttoned his shirt and draped it over her shoulders, helping her ease her arms through the holes, while trying not to stare at her re-exposed chest. Even though the shirt was wet, she was encased in Mulder’s scent. She buttoned the shirt up and was amused at how much it engulfed her small frame. She looked up to see that Mulder was equally as amused with this development, but her mind was preoccupied with something else. Within seconds, the roles were reversed, and Scully was staring at a rain-drenched Mulder in a clinging white tank top. She could see every muscle though his shirt, and it’s all she could stare at for the rest of the walk.

[shadi612]

Happy Valentine's Day, darling pandom! Here's my (very belated) remix of UC and a little bit of a gift for my favourite fandom  

AO3 (x)  (1/?)

(I found love) Where it wasn't supposed to be

I.

“What a scam”

This is not how she wanted to spend Valentine’s Day. Or any other fucking day for that matter.

Because you see in all her twenty-four years on this earth she never had to do this before. Not even as a stupid sixteen-year-old schoolgirl. She’s never been careless (Not with this).

Then again, she never expected she would be:

A) In the middle of bloody Maine. B) In love with one of the town’s most dangerous men. C) Standing in front of a whole aisle of pregnancy tests on bloody Valentine’s Day, of all days. D) All of the above.

And you might ask Why she’s here on valentine’s day if she was in a long-term relationship with a man that never passed an opportunity to show her off to the town? Because said man had texted her that afternoon with a quick apology that their night of “debauchery and other vices” would have to wait and some rambling about an urgent job that she hadn’t paid much attention to as she texted Matthew back to let him know she wasn’t too devastated about it. Her mind was too busy worrying about other things, namely whenever or not she should get a very specific item from the pharmacy.

Which brings her back to the same thought again and again: These things are expensive.

Really expensive.

They were overpriced pee sticks, for crying out loud. And what's the difference between them? Paying an extra five dollars wasn’t going to change the outcome, was it?

She's not dumb or delusional, as the townspeople would often refer to her behind her back. Jill knows the signs that have obnoxiously hung over her head these past few days.

She's late. Three and a half weeks late. It's far too much time for her to blame it on stress (and wouldn't you be stressed if you shared your life with Matthew? Stress had become a default mode for her mind and body during the last two years. And, sadly, this wasn’t one of those times when it would go as easily as it had come.)

Add in a newfound state of fatigue mixed with a persistent soreness on her chest and the ever-suspicious bouts of nausea at unexpected moments and you'll get yourself a big, red flag. If someone came up to Jill and told her that these things had been happening to them, the first words out of her mouth would be “congratulations”. The sincerity of her words would depend on who that poor soul was.

But she also knows she’s not pregnant because being pregnant would unleash hell on her life. She’s buying the test so she can finally get Arabella off her back.

(“Oh, sweetheart” Bella’s voice had rumbled across the bookshop’s bathroom three days ago with a hint of ever-present sarcasm mixed with genuine concern.

“I used to be a nun. I know a girl in trouble when I see one” Jill had only managed to throw her a quick glare before emptying her stomach on the sink for the second time in less than four hours).

She would take the bloody test and get it over with and then maybe she would grab some Gatorade and crackers to soothe the persistent stomach bug that’s been ruining her mood for weeks (because that’s all there is to it. A bloody stomach bug).

"Close your eyes and think of England" she spits between clenched teeth before knocking a few tests into her basket with an impressive amount of determination.

She can do this.

Isn’t this some sort of milestone for your twenties? Going on a drinking binge, getting an apartment, a pregnancy scare and only a scare…

These are normal things. 

For the sake of appearances, she adds in some magazines and nail polish to her basket. She's under no illusion that this little piece of gossip won't be all over town in a near future but Jill's incredibly adept at playing pretend by now. And when she’s proven right (because she’s not pregnant. She commands herself not to be pregnant) the buzz will die down on its own accord if she just decides to not care about it in the first place.

The waiting line's short, even for Storybrooke. Jill easily spots Mister Gold and David Nolan ahead of her in the queue line, one of her hands reaching for the magazine she had taken before and she eyes it without much interest while partially listening to them. Maybe it would help her calm down.

“Two Valentines. Sounds like a complicated life.

“Oh, no, I-I just couldn't decide.”

So that was still going on, surprising absolutely no one.

Her ears filter out most of the men’s conversation once her eyes landed on the rather … colourful items the pawnbroker held on his own basket. She does not need that particular mental image. But there’s nothing else to do so she entertains her frayed nerves with some colourful and hilarious what ifs during the queue line in another attempt to calm down until the two men are out of her sight.

Mister Clark smiles at Jill when her turn comes and he’s a sweet man, she knows that much about him but the feeling gnawing at the pit of her stomach keeps getting worse and worse by the minute. She’s on the verge of running and just sending this entire thing to hell so she can go back to denial land when he offers her the bag with a smile. Idly she asks herself if pharmacists have their own version of a Hippocratic oath when he doesn’t comment anything about her peculiar purchase.

“Miss? Are you-”

“I’m fine” Her voice comes out rushed and squeaky as she hands him the money and politely tells him to keep the change. If the man has anything to say about her behaviour she doesn’t hear him while she sprints for the exit door like a red-handed thief.

The buzzing sounds of the streets make her peacefully numb to the outside world, just her and her spiralling thoughts walking into the night.

  II.

 Jill stumbles into the empty apartment with a heavy heart, a queasy stomach and feeling incredibly grateful that nobody can see the mess she’s now with her shaky hands and laboured breaths.

She’s not afraid, she’s panicking.

God, she can’t be pregnant.

What is she supposed to do with a child? She had been the only child born to two parents that cared more about the status their little bundle of joy would bring them than they did for the girl herself. What kind of mother could she ever become if she had grown up starved for love and attention from the two people that were supposed to give it to her unconditionally?

And what about the father? Maybe she could learn to love the child and avoid the mistakes her own parents had made with her but what about him?

He loves her, she knows that much.

He loves her in a possessive, passionate way that easily veers into obsession. An obsession she returns fully. But it’s the kind of love that could easily drown them both if they weren’t careful.

Nobody around them thinks they’re going to make it. They’re each other’s ruin they said. And god, she knows they’re doomed in so many ways, how bad they’re for each other in other ways but she also knows she’s happy. She’s so fucking happy.

He makes me happy is all that comes to her mind when she looks down to her white-knuckled hands gripping the bag on her lap.

There's a ring on her finger. 

It's simple but elegant and she found it a few weeks ago in one of her drawers, tucked inside a black velvet box resting peacefully between her earrings and one of his watches.

Jill had grown used to these tidbits of random affection, little presents and colourful boxes popping up around her as tokens of affection, so with a sigh of exasperated fondness she grabbed the box and opened the lid with giddy fingers. It could be a new necklace to replace the one she had lost a few days ago. Or maybe a nice bracelet to go with her pearl earrings…

This was different.

The ring’s cut was not the one you would find in a casual gift. It was far too elegant and well thought of. This type of cut worked for a very specific situation. 

He wouldn’t, would he?

Jill had sat on the bed for a good five minutes inspecting every inch of the ring before marching over to the living room where Matthew was sitting in the kitchen island with a cup of steaming coffee on one hand and the paper in the other. He wasn’t going to propose, of course he wasn’t. He wasn’t the “marrying kind” like Mrs. Redford used to say with an unhappy scrunch of her nose but for the sake of Jill’s mental peace she needed him to say it himself.

“Morning, darling” his eyes looked up before she had fully sat down in front of him, a smirk planted firmly on his face when he noticed how Jill held the ring at arms length as if its mere proximity burned her.

His face gave nothing away, just pure smugness. 

Typical, she huffed and slid the box across the table to him. She would be as stubborn as him if she needed to.

"Well?"

"It's yours"

Yours. 

It was her ring because he was proposing to her.

The frown on her face deepened as she stared distastefully at the ring on the table. He was doing it to drive her mad, she was sure of it. Only Matthew would be capable of turning a proposal into a headache. Couldn’t he be a grown-up about this? Couldn’t he have the guts to at least decently ask her Would you marry me?

No big romantic gestures needed, just a simple question.

"You're proposing to me?" Matthew raised an eyebrow at her, obviously amused at her reaction "You can't" she replied quickly as she realized she didn’t want to know his answer after all.

The frown on his face told her he wasn’t pleased with the situation either.

"Why not?" And now he was pulling the surprised card, acting like this kind of behaviour was acceptable. That she was being irrational by not understanding and playing along with it.

"Because!"

“Use your words, love” Matthew was even willing to throw her own words against her, leaving her to scold at him in disapproval. She hadn’t brought up the idea of marriage once, not even as a joke. This was all on him. 

Well, he could take his precious ring and shove it. 

“You’re impossible” 

“So I’ve been told” God, he was never going to take a single thing seriously in his life and she was stupid to think he would. Jill huffed out her anger and disappointment when she stood up, fully intending to lock herself in their room for the rest of the day or find something appropriate to throw against a wall to let out her frustration before strong arms wrapped around her waist and pressed her against his chest, effectively keeping her in the spot.

“I don’t feel like playing anymore, Matthew” She squirmed against him, slapping his hands away in a useless attempt to free herself.

“I know that being with me it’s not easy. That I’m not an easy person” his breath was hot and soft against the shell of her ear, making her squirming worse when he wouldn’t budge.

Damn him, damn him to hell and back for doing this to her

“But you must know that nobody ever had me the way you do” she had stopped fidgeting at the last part of his speech.

Jill knew. She knew perfectly well that he would kill anyone that ever wronged her and would burn the world if she asked for it. And she knew that for her (and her only) he was trying not to. He was trying to at least control himself for her like she was willing to let herself be free for him.

And she wasn’t about to say that she regretted it.

This man would be her downfall in the same way she would be his. He would make her crumble to ashes and rise again time after time with only the idea of them as an anchor.

He must have taken her silence as an invitation to slip the ring into her left hand and kiss the nape of her neck to put an end to their argument.

Jill couldn’t find the words quick enough as she turned on her heels to face him so she nodded slowly with a watery smile as her own promise of a forever finally slipped past her lips quietly “And nobody will have me the way you do, Matthew”.

(She did not cry, there just was a twinkle in her eyes as his lips kissed her like she was the air and he was suffocating)

This was her life now. With every messy decision and uncertain step she had taken in the last two years she –and only she- had sealed her fate with the golden band on her finger.

They said pick your poison so I chose you.

And maybe Jill is plenty of things but she’s always been someone capable of taking responsibility for her actions and her screw-ups, so she forces herself to walk into the bathroom to bite the bullet and face the music.

She lasts all of ten seconds before she throws the bag in the cabinet under the sink as far as it’ll go and fifteen before she calls Bella in the middle of what’s probably a panic attack.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up” The one time she needs Bella is the one time she decides to put her phone away.

It goes straight to voicemail the three times she rings her up and all it manages to do is frustrate her to the point she’s about to pull her hair off when she throws the phone on the couch.

Wonderful, just bloody wonderful.

Bella was going to owe her one and Jill was going to cash in that check big time once she was done panicking.

The dramatic schoolgirl she once was possesses her the moment she reaches over for a cushion to scream her frustration into a good five times before her responsible adult self kicks off the girl into the back of her mind and marches her self-pitying self into the bathroom.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat. Breathe in. Breathe out. Repeat.

The words on her head are a pattern. It’s something methodical she can relay into and distract herself as she goes through the motions the test requires.

She doesn’t think she could have done it if she didn’t distract her mind. Any other time she would chastise herself for using such a cliché but those two minutes until her phone alarm buzzes are the longest wait on her life. The entire experience feels surreal to her, as if she was watching someone else sitting at the edge of the bathtub and stare at the test on the counter with everything else happening at both slow motion and fast-forwarding before her eyes when she stares at the test on her shaky hands.

It’s positive.

  III.

 The pink line stares back, mocking her.

 “Fuck”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

She wants to laugh. That was exactly what had gotten her here.

How could she be so stupid? They didn't use condoms every single time anymore and she had been off the pill for almost a year. This sort of thing was bound to happen.

So here she is, sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 2:00 am staring at a positive pregnancy test. Same test she’s been staring at sporadically for at least two hours now in between puking her guts out and cursing everything she can think of, said test among them.

The positive test. It's positive because she's pregnant. She's pregnant. Jill Redford is pregnant. She's carrying Matthew Kensington’s child and-

Matthew.

Matthew's going to be a father and that's a new load of information she needs to process.

Blimey.

Matthew is...

Well, he’s her Matthew. He's fire and impulsiveness and wildness packed in with a mop of brown curls and green eyes.

He's also ten years her senior, for crying out loud. This isn't the first time she's reminded of that fact but right now it perches itself on her shoulders like a heavy burden as she stares down at the stupid little stick on her hands.  Matthew is thirty-three to her twenty-four. He must have thought about this sort of things, right?

Oh, who is she kidding?.

Matthew is not the first person that comes to mind when she thinks of father material. He's not on her top five. Not even on her top fifty.

She loves him. She loves him against every reasonable impulse she has. And because she loves him she knows that parents are a delicate subject.

("They were gone one day. Vanished on thin air and never came back" Those were the only things that came up about the subject during one of their late night talks. Lucky, Arabella and his boys had become the family he needed after a rather peculiar childhood at the orphanage. A patchwork family she now was part of. She had no interest in knowing about people that had hurt him and he had no interest in sharing it.)

And oh god, Matthew and a child that will rely on him for guidance and love and to teach them the difference between right and wrong? Don’t make her laugh.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. She can’t think about this now. She can’t think about how deeply fucked they are at this moment.

She needs to find a way out of this. The first thing that comes to mind in her desperate state is that if she’s not pregnant then she doesn’t have to worry. Tests gave out false positives all the time, so if she took another one and it came out negative then she wouldn’t have anything to worry about.

Problem solved!

Half a gallon of water and three positive pregnancy tests later she’s back to square one. Also known as “completely fucked” and “up the duff”.

An upset sob comes out from the back of her throat once she slides down to the bathroom floor. It was useless. She can’t avoid it any longer and she’s so upset at everything that all she can do is let the frustrated tears run down her face freely with her arms wrapped around her knees.

[onceuponathreetwoone]

What a fab couple of days...

I feel like I have to write this down because, if I don’t, I know I’ll forget the amazing couple of days I’ve had ‘cus I’m a muppet. And I apologise now because this is probably going to be long with quite a few pictures.

I booked my tickets for MFM the day they were released with no one in mind to go with. Luckily, my friend (who came with me on a last minute trip to London last year) volunteered to come with. I’d always wanted to watch a play at the Donmar and to see Jack in action (Hayley Atwell being an added bonus.) And so our trip to London was booked.

When I saw that Jack was going to be at the BIFA screening and Q&A on Sunday (the day we travelled down), I knew I had to get tickets. I’m a massive film fan and don’t get to use my film degree in the job I’m currently in, so couldn’t resist the opportunity to let my dormant film geek out.

Watching the film on the big screen added a new element and I loved sitting next to my friend and hearing her reactions during her first experience of the film.

The Q&A shed an insiders light on the making of the film, something I’ve never had the pleasure of hearing about first hand. Audience questions came about and, as per usual, my nerves kicked in. After a couple of questions, I plucked up the courage to put my hand up. Before I could get my chance, someone else asked a question similar to mine. Dammit! I started to chicken out again but, after a couple more questions, the mic lady gave the mic to me. Eeeek! I asked my question and, before Matt Palmer gave me his response, he wanted to hear my take which I’d alluded to in my question. Nervously, and not very eloquently, I shared my thoughts. And so, my day was made (or so I thought) with Jack telling me that it was a good take on it. Eeep!

Once the Q&A had finished, those of us wanting to try and meet Jack were ushered onto the corridor. Whilst waiting for Jack, I asked Kate Bracken, Matt Palmer and Al Clark if they’d sign my ticket and they were lovely enough to humour this little film geek. Even though you could tell he was in a bit of rush, Jack was lovely and gave everyone his time. My turn arrived and I somehow, despite my nerves, managed to shakily ask if he’d sign my ticket and told him that we’d originally come down to see MFM.

And then I let him go. Without getting a picture. Idiot. So, I patiently waited again and apologised for being an idiot but that I would forever kick myself if I didn’t get a picture with him. He happily took a photo with me and asked me where I was from (my northern accent sticking out in London like a sore thumb) and we had the briefest of chats about it and he thanked me for coming. And off he went. I had a brief chat with Kate, Matt and Al who are lovely and humoured me yet again by letting me get a picture.

Onto today or Measure for Measure Day as it will be forever known 😆. The play was fantastic. I loved the intimacy of the Donmar and how, even with such stripped back staging, you can still be completely engrossed (if not more so) in what’s happening in front of you. Watching MFM, it’s clear that the audience will be talking about their thoughts, feelings and interpretations long after they’ve left the theatre. Getting to see Jack perform on stage was a treat. The entire cast are *wonderful* but, let’s be honest, I came to see Jack do this thing on stage and in person. He didn’t disappoint.

Before I knew it, the play was over, and I thought I’d try my luck at meeting Jack again. I’d seen on Twitter and Instagram that Jack seemed to be using the front entrance at the end of the show recently, so thought I’d give it a shot. Just as I was starting to bottle it waiting with my friend, I saw a familiar walk and backpack heading down the stairs. And there he was, in front of me, again.

My friend had been given strict instructions to take as many pics as she could...she did me proud! I waited patiently for Jack to come nearby and my politeness nearly got the better of me as I started to let him just walk right past me towards the door. Luckily, I managed to squeak out his name and he looked at me and headed over. He had a look of vague confusion and recognition on his face before he remembered me from the screening on Sunday. He happily signed my programme and script, asking me how I spell my name (even though it’s a common one but I thought it was lovely that he wanted to make sure he spelled it right for me), gave me a hug and let me get a picture with him. With a huge grin on my face, I thanked him; he thanked me for coming and moved on to the next fan before turning over his shoulder to say “And thank you for coming yesterday.” In a hugely unusual bout of confidence, I approached Jack again as we were leaving to ask if he would sign a flier for my friend as she wasn’t going to ask. He gave me a big smile, said “of course” and signed away. So lovely.

I still can’t quite believe it!

(Sorry - I know this post is super long but it’s been written for myself, so that I don’t forget what was an amazing two days. So sorry if it’s waaaay too long and too rambly 🙈)

[franklyshipping]

A Crushing Crush ~ A Markiplier, Jacksepticeye and Crankgameplays Ego Fanfic

Okey dokey sooooo this is based off a lovely prompt from @amazingmsme regarding how a poor Blank feels like he's blown his chance at flirting with Bim and ends up despairing to Anti....and the glitch has a good idea on how to stop him moping. LET'S BEGIN!

TAGGING: @corrup-switch-blank @ticklee-trimmer aaand @anti-switch-glitch

Romance....is a challenge. It really is. Finding the right words, the right gestures, the right damn expression to wear as you say the right joke at the right time. To those who are inclined with romance and flirting, I think you can all agree that it is a rare occasion when it works seamlessly. In fact it hardly ever happens. Whoever is involved will always be a flustered, cheesy, overthinking mess of a human filled with frustration, yelling at themselves in their brains and insulting themselves because nothing seems to be working. Which is entirely normal when you're crushing hard on someone, like Blank was currently. Another thing about having a crush on someone is that you want to be around them, but don't want to force your company on them for fear of them finding you clingy and annoying....so you find the safe, but slightly creepy, middle ground of lingering. Blank was hovering in the doorway to the kitchen, fiddling with his flayed hoodie sleeves as his eyes flicked around the room....before fixing on one person. Bim Trimmer.

To the rest of us who simply like him, the sight of him sitting at the counter and sighing contentedly into a fresh cup of tea would have probably given us an empathetic sense of calm and relaxation, and made us think oh hey! I'd like hot drink right about now because I have been inspired by this hereby human! Not Blank. Blank was infatuated and melting inside at how the tenseness of Bim's shoulders melted away as he had his tea, and how as he drank he developed a small, but clearly happy smile. Blank wondered if Bim would ever smile at him like that, or if one day he'd look at Blank and feel relaxed and safe. I bet you thought some creepiness was going to interject Blank's thoughts here didn't you? That ain't how a crush works. A crush is noticing the smaller things about a person that they probably don't notice themselves, but to you they are the most beautiful and defining things of that person. It's so stressful. Blank's fidgeting was an outlet for that stress as he tried to figure out how to articulate his existence to Bim....so he greeted him.

'Hey Bim....'

Bim jumped and let out a yip as he whirled round in his seat, before placing a dramatic hand on his chest as he smiled broadly at Blank.

'Oh lordy, you made me jump there! You're like a little phantom!'

Ohhh god. Bim had a habit of giving people random pet names and it was one of the things about him that made Blank's system erupt into butterflies, but not only that....he'd given HIM one! Blank was silent for a moment, taking in Bim's smile as his mind repeated; don't lose composure sort yourself out reply reply reply-

'Oh, heh, s-sorry about that, I guess I am kind of a creeper....'

He looked down bashfully....oh if only he knew how Bim's eyes had softened so affectionately. Blank soon looked back at him when he spoke in a broad, loud, energetic tone of voice.

'You are nothing of the sort! Come on join me, how are you doing? What's your day been like?'

His day had mostly been spent bribing each and every Google in order to persuade one of them to hack into the filming schedule for Bim and Wilford's collaborative TV show so he could know Bim's scheduled breaks and thus plan flirtatious advances. It had been busy. However, as every embarrassed crusher does when posed with such a question from their love interest, he hesitantly sat down and shrugged.

'Eh, not much has happened really, how about yours?'

Blank's mind whispered ''coward'' as he focused his gaze on Bim, who launched into a passionate babble concerning set and interviews and something called a ''damn bubble-gum co-worker with a murdering hobbie''. Of course, Blank listened, wanting to catch every detail in case it became important in later conversations; romantic advances are the most complex rpg's, I guarantee it. Blank's focus however, was not just on Bim's words....but on Bim's entirety. The way his eyes shone when he mentioned an idea that had been approved, the way wrinkles in his forehead appeared when he talked about technical mishaps, but most of all the gestures and constantly changing tone of voice that came hand in hand with his vibrant, passionate nature. He loved his work, and that made Blank love it; whatever made Bim happy, made Blank happy. Blank had noticed that as he listened, his jaw had slowly started to drop open, so he snapped it shut as Bim concluded.

'-and so I'm relying on my sweet green tea to boost me for the next four hours, basically!'

Bim exhaled with a grin as he took a pointedly large gulp of the drink, making Blank fail to withhold a soft smile. Whenever he rambled it was so adorable, he was just so enthusiastic about everything. However.....Blank had spotted an opportunity....for a flirtation. He straightened up, and casually leant his elbow on the table as he smiled at Bim and spoke in a tone of voice that was lower than his usual register.

'Wow, you definitely sound like you deserve that tea. Sweet tea is very appropriate too in my opinion; hot sweet tea for a hot sweet man.'

Blank's heart was almost beating out of his chest as he tried to stop his voice from cracking, and he actually succeeded. Phew. His heart leapt when Bim's eyes widened and he let out a little giggle, oh gosh the dimples the dimples. Bim was smiling, his eyes sparkling from behind his spectacles as he replied in a lower tone of his own.

'Ahaaww Blank, you are way more kind than people give you credit for!'

Don't. Fucking. Blush. Blank couldn't stop himself from smiling giddily but he'd be damned if he lost control of the blood flow to his face. He cleared his throat softly and bashfully ran a hand through his jet black unruly hair, he hadn't done anything to neaten it up today....guys liked unruliness right? That's what all the TV shows depicted. Blank replied with a half-bashful half-smouldery grin.

'I uh, w-well I enjoy....being kind....'

To you. Blank it's two extra words, two syllables, you don't even have to move your mouth that much! Somehow though, in the face of specificity, Blank's vocals decided this would be the perfect time to freeze up. Bim didn't seem to notice, simply leaning forward and playfully squishing Blank's cheek as he teased.

'You're such a cute sap!'

Blank was literally frozen in place. Bim was touching him Bim was touching his face with his actual hand....dammit he was blushing. Blank was holding his breath too, even as Bim retracted and glanced at his watch; but then he let out a groan and a sigh.

'Dammit that break went quick, they always do. I have to dash, I'll see you around my little phantom!'

He chuckled as he slid from his seat and left the room with the rest of his tea in hand. Blank was just still and silent. He was like that for a few minutes, until he slowly but surely raised his hand and brought it to his cheek, softly tracing the place Bim had touched as a dazed smile rose up on his face; but then he frowned. He stood up and approached the fridge door....and started lightly banging his head against it.

'Stupid. Idiot. Why. Can't. You. Flirt. Properly?!'

He let out little frustrated grunts and whines as he maintained his self-deprecation with a lot of enthusiasm; five minutes later, that's how Antisepticeye found him. The glitching man stood in the doorway with folded arms and an amused grin in place, he waited before entering and teasing in a blasé tone.

'Jeez man, what did the fridge ever do to you?'

Blank's reply was extremely detailed and encased in the most descriptive vernacular, wherein he turned to Anti, scowled, pulled his hood up over his face and traipsed to the neighbouring lounge where he could flop unceremoniously onto the couch.

'Go. Away.'

Anti snickered and rolled his eyes as he followed Blank without question, and proceeded to sit on his legs as soon as he'd flopped onto the couch. Anti was grinning amusedly, since he knew all about Blank's pining; he found it sickeningly cute.

'Why so grouchy? Is your unnoticed fawning gettin' ya down?'

Blank let out a huff, feeling uncomfortable on his front so he shuffled onto his back, a solid frown in place. Anti observed Blank, and he couldn't help but feel bad for the guy, because he knew he was trying to try his best. He could see the forlornness in Blank's expression, as well as self-directed annoyance and frustration; Anti didn't know much about wooing but he knew that any expression other than that was bound to work better in the scheme of things. Anti gave one of Blank's legs a shove as he tried to muster up a....positive tone of persuasion?

'Well you definitely won't be able to flirt right if you're moping here, c'mon I bet you'll be able to catch him before his next bout of filming!'

Blank glanced at Anti, sighing a little; he appreciated that Anti was trying to help, but it really wasn't working for him. He didn't feel like there was any point. He was trying so hard and yet nothing was coming from it, he wanted to be bolder but how could he do that without making Bim uncomfortable, obligated or overwhelmed?

'There's no point, I've tried everything, don't waste your breath Anti-'

'Oi! If ya start thinking like that ya won't stop! I will help your gay ass out even if I have to use force....'

Anti trailed off with a cheeky, menacing smile.....which Blank merely scoffed at. Anti was slightly taken aback; Blank must really have lost hope if he had the nerve to scoff at a threat from Antisepticeye. Blank was about to roll back onto his stomach in an attempt to escape Anti's convoluted attempt at help, before he suddenly felt the glitch scoot on top of him and settle on his thighs. Blank gritted his teeth, tugging at his legs and letting his eyes flick to pitch black as he growled.

'Anti I am warning you!'

It was Anti's turn to scoff as he donned a smirk, his own eyes flicking to a deep, endless black that seemed to coincide with his own growl; but his was deeper, more used, more threatening.

'Oh please, I practically invented the soulless eye trick so don't think you can surpass me. Now, you've got one last chance. Come with me to Bim, or I will make you.'

Blank couldn't ignore the chill that went down his spine....he knew a genuine threat when he heard it, and the fear of the unknown was pounding in his chest. He couldn't do it though; he really felt there was no chance for his affections to come to anything now. He was firm as the black from his eyes dimmed and his irises turned to look at the floor.

'No.....it's pointless Anti, just accept it.'

Anti couldn't help but feel disheartened.....Blank really did believe that. He wasn't going to let that halt him though; Anti always was a determined bastard. He let his smirk widened as his eager fingers twitched.

'Sorry, but the only actually pointless thing here is your cute attempt at defiance.'

Before Blank could retort, he jumped with a gasp. Oh he wouldn't....oh he wouldn't dare, would he? Yep oh shit he was he really was. Blank's lips trembled as he hurried to hug his torso, but Anti's fingertips had already found his ribs and were scratching away with a terrifying determination. Blank squirmed about and tried to keep quiet, but soon any toughness had just....melted away; one of the best perks of ticklishness in my opinion, it even brings down the strongest we have to offer.

'I-It ihis n-not cute! S-Stohop this Antihi s-stop ihit!'

Each syllable was sharp from Blank's lips as he tried to contain his mirth, but as we all know, when one giggle escapes they all do; and he'd already let out quite a few. Anti grinned excitedly as he scratched harder.

'Oh of course! I'll happily stop.....if you go and see Bim that is.'

Blank rapidly shook his head as his lips stretched more into a grin and giggles took over his vocals, he tried to let out a threatening snarl as he glared up at Anti; although the latter would argue later that it was way more of a pout.

'Noho wahahay! Ahanti Ihi swehear you ahare fohohor ihit once thihis ihis ohoveheher!'

Anti narrowed his eyes and cocked his head to the side, before his scratches morphed into scribbles and ruthless pinches as he cooed teasingly.

'I'm sorry what was that? Was that a threat thing? You know those automatically make tickle torture worse right?'

Blank wasn't sure what it was that brought a grey-misted red tinge to his cheeks, whether it was the increased intensity or the nonchalant, malicious tease; all he knew was, he was pretty damn flustered. He writhed under his tormentor as he hit out and yelled defiantly.

'Thihis ihis sOHO DUHUMB LEHET ME GOHOHO!'

Anti snickered as he dug into the ribcage before him, casually working his way further and further up whilst he sneered cheekily.

'It isn't dumb if it works-'

'IHIHIT IHIHISN'T!'

Anti raised an eyebrow at Blank brazen interruption, and relished in the smaller man's shiver when he leant closer to him. His lips quivered and his head jerked threateningly, glitching with new ferality as he spoke.

'Isn't it? That's funny, because from my perspective....'

Blank let out a howl of laughter as Anti's finger's forced themselves into his sensitive armpits, scratching away as Anti whispered.

'....it feels like those bitchy defiant walls of yours are just crumbling away.'

Blank was thrashing with an agape mouth and wide eyes as jolts of ticklishness surged through his body; he was barely touched normally by people, let alone tickled this intensely! His nerves weren't used to it, which made Anti's teasing statement all the more accurate. Much to his inner embarrassment, the begs flew from his lips before he could stop them.

'NAHAHAHAT AHAHANTI ANTIANTIANTI C'MOHOHON PLEHEHEHEASE!!'

Anti could not have grinned wider if he tried. He kept scratching and let out a satisfied hum, the whacking and batting he was receiving at his chest not even phasing him as he cooed in a reprimanding tone.

'None of this would be happening if you weren't such a little brat y'know, if you'd accepted my help in the first place ya could have avoided this!'

Blank let out a loud whine as he thrashed, cheeks filling with more colour as his energy really started seeping from him; the tickling was doing a good job of draining him. Through his light hysteria though, Blank did see Anti's point; he was offering him help at the point where he needed it....but there was still a strong pessimist within him. A strong part of his mind emphasising how it was pointless, hopeless, persuading away any optimism; that was the part that cried out now.

'BUHUHUT IHIHIT'S UHUSELEHESS AHAND POHOHOINTLEHESS!!'

Blank's cry was desperate, and Anti pursed his lips when he saw the mirthful tears starting to build at the corners of his eyes; the glitch reluctantly relented, for now at least. Despite the silliness of his technique, the whole scenario did make him....sad. Anti cared for Blank like a brother and seriously wished there was a way to carve out that unpleasant pessimism once and for all so that Blank wouldn't have to be tormented by those constant doubts and arguments. He watched Blank catch his breath, and gritted his teeth when he saw the forlorn glimmers that still existed in his eyes. Anti may not have had an instant fix, but he WOULD help Blank one way or another. He let out a purposefully loud sigh as his fingers trailed absently down Blank's torso, and his tone of voice was deep and solemn.

'It really isn't, yeah it's tough and hard work and sometimes it can be crappy when your efforts don't seem to change shit. But that's why when results do come, and trust me they do, they're all the more fucking brilliant! C'mon, ya can't tell me that doesn't make you wanna keep trying!'

Blank shivered at the feeling of Anti's tracing, his entire body was rigid in an attempt at self-defence; it was a useless attempt though. Blank had to bite back a snarl, because annoyingly Anti was right. He tilted his head to the side though, pursing his already thin lips into a line as he mumbled shakily; his brain was trying to focus on the sensible reasoning Anti provided, but it still needed a push or two.

'Y-Yeah b-but.....it's more complicated th-than that....'

Anti only felt more confident; the stutters alone proved that he was getting to Blank and making a difference. He just had to persist a little longer, and Anti knew precisely how to do that. He raised an eyebrow as his fingers traipsed down where they teasingly brushed over Blank's prominent hip bones.

'I'll make it simple for ya then shall I? Come with me, and prove my generic words right.....or stay here. All day. Being tickled until you lose your mind.'

Blank gulped, breath hitching when he felt the touch at his hips. He looked up at Anti wide-eyed....he really knew how to threaten. He ended up stammering as his squirms started up again, his voice going a few octaves higher too.

'I-.....I-Ihi c-can't.....'

No sooner had Blank spoken, he'd let out an involuntary squeak before descending into a stream of breathless giggles. Anti's thumbs traced circles round and over Blank's sensitive, delicate hip bones; it wasn't a place of hysteria, but it was more than enough to break him. Anti was grinning as he leant down properly, letting his stubble brush against Blank's ear as he cooed.

'Then that means you'll have to endure this, do you realise that? If you decline now, I'll get to play with your ticklish hips for hour....after hour....after hour. Teasing them in the ways I know turn you into a weak little puddle....'

Blank let out a whimper as he squirmed about, using his hands to cover his face as he giggled and twitched. Dammit fuck dammit why did he have to have a nervous system like this? His face was burning hot as his weak, shivery voice trickled forth.

'P-Plehehease A-Anti....n-nohot thihis notthisnotthisnotthis yohou kn-know Ihi cahahahan't....'

Anti smirked as he softly nuzzled into Blank's neck, relishing in the plethora of true, un-repressed noises that came from his cute little victim. It was really adorable. He purred, letting his sharp teases do the work now.

'I know you can't take it Blanky, and that's why I gotta do it. You know you wanna give in, do anything to make the soft touches stop, do anything to allow your poor nerves some mercy. You know what you need to do Blank.'

Blank let out a desperate whine as Anti's thumbs found the bowels of his hips, massaging deep but slow into the bundles of nerve endings tucked away. Blank arched his back, even more so when he felt Anti's diabolical facial hair sending sharp shocks down his spine; Blank knew he was too ticklish to cope any longer, he knew he would give in soon.

'Ohogohod m-mehehercy p-pleaseplease oho plehease! Ihit tihickles s-so b-bahad Antihi i-it tihickles...'

Anti grinned in triumph at the sound of Blank's desperate babbles; he knew he'd won. He directed his nuzzling behind the man's ear as his thumbs maintained their soft, but unwavering, torment. He whispered.

'You know it's over....all ya gotta do is accept it.'

Blank let out a desperate, pleading mewl as he squeezed his eyes shut....then accepted it. Anti was the most malicious, relentless person he'd ever encountered; but he had the right morals which was the greatest, yet most annoying, thing ever. So, Blank succumbed as he shivered and quivered and giggled like a man with no more defences.

'Okahahay o-okahay i-ihi'll d-do ihit! I-Ihi'll tahalk t-to Bihihim agahain Ihi w-will!'

Anti chuckled deeply with immense, smug satisfaction. He was smirking broadly as he reared up and effortlessly slid off Blank's legs, now standing next to the couch and looking down as his slowly recovering victim.

'Damn right you will ya smitten shithead, come on, we've got no time to lose!'

Blank hurriedly sat up and hugged himself, forcing away the residual shivers and chills as he looked up at Anti with trepidation; he couldn't deny he was terrified, but he took a deep breath and nodded.

'Y-Yeah....yeah okay, o-okay fuck it let's do this.'

Anti grinned before grabbing the front of his hoodie and hauling him to his feet, wrapping an arm round his shoulder, and leading him from the room enthusiastically.

'That's the attitude! Right, let's decide your game plan....'

Thus, they headed off. Blank's nerves regarding his crush on Bim hadn't been dimmed, but he couldn't deny he had more sparks of confidence. He wasn't on his own, even if Anti was fixated on saying he should find and kill any enemies Bim may have, he couldn't deny how much he appreciated it and felt better for it. Acting on feelings is a tough beast, but let me tell you, the rewards are wild and worth any damn battles you end up fighting.

FICKIN DO N E WOOP! I HOPE YOU GUYS ENJOY THIS WOOO LUV YOUS XXX

[blackwidownat2814]

Technically, I Flew (1/2)

Here is my first attempt at Deckerstar fic.  I hope you guys enjoy it!! (I’m currently finishing up Part 2.)

AO3

‘techinically, I flew’

“Lucifer.  Lucifer.” He takes one last look at Pierce’s body before standing to look at his detective.  He doesn’t notice her wide eyes and stiff stance when she sees him. “It’s all true.”

“Detective?”

“It’s all true.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

That’s when he noticed the look on her face.  He took a few steps forward but stopped when she took a step away from him.

“What is it Detective? Is everything alright?”  He made to reach towards her, but once again, she stepped back.

“What--wha…y-your face.  What…?”

“What do you mean?” Lucifer looked around until he saw a mirror leaning against a column off to the side of the carnage.  He walked over to it and pushed the cloth covering it away, stumbling backwards as he saw his face: his hair was gone, and the burnt, red flesh stretched over his skull and his eyes, like embers of Hellfire burning in their sunken sockets.  No wonder she was afraid.

“Did you kill him?” Chloe’s voice broke him out of his stupor and he spun around to see her crouched next to Pierce’s body.  She kept her eyes on Pierce and didn’t look up at him.

“Yes.”  Lucifer hesitated before continuing.  “He tried to kill you.  He tried to kill me…several times.  He shot me--”  Chloe’s head snapped up to him, taking in the six shots in his chest.

“He shot you?!”

“You were far enough that I was not affected.  But then he pulled out one of Maze’s knives and slashed me.  The knives were forged in Hell, so they’re one of the only things that can hurt me…besides you, of course.”

When Chloe looked away once more, he saw fear in her eyes: fear at his appearance and fear at what he’d done to Marcus.

“I’m sorry Chloe.” He backed away from her, “I should’ve shown you my true face when we first met.  Because then you wouldn’t have had to go through everything you’ve gone through because of me.”

“What are you even talking about Lucifer?  Everything that’s happened to me isn’t your fault.”

“YES IT IS!  I AM THE DEVIL…”  He saw Chloe’s eyes go wide once more and he just knew that his eyes flared and his wings unfurled.  “…I am the Devil, I told you I was…and I have brought pain and ruin on you. I won’t continue to do that, but I won’t keep anymore from you.”

“Oh my God.  The wings…the ones we went looking for on that case a couple years ago…they were real!”  Lucifer nodded.  “But…you cut them off.  The scars on your back…you cut them off.”

“Maze did, actually, with her demon blades.”

“Lucifer…”

“I got them back. When I woke up in the desert…I woke up with my wings.”  Before Lucifer could continue, Chloe’s walkie crackled to life.  Lucifer took the opportunity to move around the room and up the stairs to the window where he’d broken in earlier.

“Chloe!” Daniel’s voice called through the speaker, “Chloe! Are you and Lucifer alright?  What happened to that bastard?”  Chloe clicked the ‘TALK’ button on the walkie and responded.

“He’s dead, Dan. Marcus is dead.  It was a trap and he tried to kill us.  He shot me in the vest, but then Lucifer saved us, he fought back.  We’re both okay though.”

“I’m glad you two are okay.  Units have been dispatched to your location.  Hang tight, we’re coming to you.”

“Copy.”  Chloe clipped the walkie back to her belt and looked back at Lucifer.  As always, the Detective was the most astute person in the room.  He was going to miss her smile.  “What are you doing?”

“I told you I was going to tell you the truth about me”, Lucifer said, ignoring her query. His true face was still showing, he could feel it.  “That I was going to tell you the truth about my feelings for you.”

“Lucifer, you--” He held up a hand to stop her.

“Please, I need to get this out before everyone arrives.”  Lucifer took a deep breath, “I love you Chloe Jane Decker.  I don’t know how long it’s been, but probably since we started working together.  I’ve never lied to you, just like I’ve repeatedly told you.  Yes, I’ve kept things from you, but most of those were for your safety.  Not showing you my true face early on, to prove that I was the Devil, that was just me being selfish.

“It’s as if the fires of Hell never touched me when I’m in your presence.  Like I’m back in the Silver City, before Dad forced my hand and Fell.  Mum always called me her Lightbringer and her Morningstar, but I just knew if I showed you how I really am…I just knew I wouldn’t be bringing light into your life, I’d be taking it away…”  Chloe stepped forward, looking almost as if she were to lift her hand to his chest.  Lucifer was content that the last time he felt Chloe’s skin was when he was kissing her, he was going to miss that.

“You--”

“I will not burden you will this…horrid visage any longer.” Lucifer stepped closer to the broken window, “I’ve made arrangements so that you and the Spawn will be taken care of. I’ll miss you Detective.”  He jumped from the window and spread his wings, flying up and away from the building.  All he could hear, besides the wind, was Chloe’s voice screaming his name and pleading for him to come back.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~

 His first order of business would be to stop at Lux to make sure the ownership papers and other things were ready to go to his lawyer.  The club would go to Maze and his assets would be evenly distributed amongst Chloe, Maze, Dr. Linda, and even Daniel, with some going into a special account for Beatrice’s college future.

Lucifer landed on the balcony of the penthouse and hurried inside.  He was surprised to find Linda sitting on the couch and Maze asleep next to her.  His demon appeared to have suffered through a terrible bout.  Linda must have treated her.

“Lucifer!” Linda jumped up from the couch.  “Marcus was holding Maze.  Apparently, his plan was to pin Amenadiel’s murder on her. Where’s Amenadiel?”

“He has ascended and returned Home”, replied Lucifer.  He stalked to the bar and poured a brandy for himself.  He saw his face still showing, so he took a deep breath and he returned to his dashing good looks.  Lucifer downed the glass in one big gulp.  “Charlotte’s dead.  Marcus shot her last night when he went to try and kill my brother.”

“No!”

“She saved Amenadiel’s life, she gave hers for his.  Somehow, he got his wings back and took her soul to Heaven.  He’s gone as well.  I found one of his feathers at the scene of Charlotte’s murder.”

“I know she wasn’t your mother anymore, but are you okay?  Did you and Chloe catch Marcus?  Oh my God…how is Dan?” Linda rambled.

“Daniel was distraught, but he wished to stay on the case to help catch Marcus.  And yes, Chloe and I stopped him.  The bastard shot the Detective, but she was wearing a protective vest, so she’s fine.  His men tried to kill us both then, most likely having been told by Marcus that I was now vulnerable with Chloe in the vicinity.  I protected us and took her away.”  Lucifer grabbed the brandy bottle a took a gulp, deciding to forego a glass.

“Took her away? You flew her far enough, so you wouldn’t be hurt?”

“Of course. Pierce still tried however.  Six shots as you can see”, said Lucifer, motioning to his chest where the evidence still lay.  Then he pointed to the slash on his arm.  “He had one of Maze’s demon blades.  Almost had me too.  Marcus is dead.”

“Good.”  Lucifer and the doctor turned to the couch, where Maze was waking from her injuries.  “I only wish I had been able to kill the asshole.  I tried, I’m sorry I wasn’t able to boss.  If I had been able to stop him, Charlotte wouldn’t be dead.”

“It’s okay Mazikeen. He is suffering his eternal torment as we speak and I plan to make sure he suffers the worst I can come up with.”

“What are you talking about Lucifer?” Linda asked.

“He’s planning on going home”, said Maze, “Isn’t that right?”

“You’re welcome to come too Mazikeen.”

“What about Chloe? How are you going to explain this to her?”  He took another drag from the bottle before answering.

“She saw my face. She knows everything now”, he replied sadly, “And she wants nothing to do with me.”

“It is a lot Lucifer, for her to take in.  You have to understand and give her time”, said Linda.  “I could talk to her if you li--”

“NO!  I will not darken the Detective’s life any longer!” he yelled.  “Besides, you didn’t see how she looked at me.  After I explained everything that happened that she didn’t see and then she looked at his body, I saw fear in her eyes.  She feared me, and I cannot go through that after what happened with you, Linda.  Not with Chloe.  Not with someone I love.”

“You love her?”

“You know I do.” Lucifer looked over at Maze. Under all her cuts and bruises, she looked angry.  “What, Mazikeen?”

“I’m not going.”

“I thought all you wanted was to go home.”

“I like it her Lucifer.  I have friends, like Linda and the rest of the Tribe”, she said.  “I won’t do what you’re about to do, I won’t abandon them and run away.  Who’s going to be there for your detective when you disappear?  Who’s going to answer her questions?  Only Linda and I will be able to…because you decided to be a coward.”

Lucifer’s wings unfurled and his true face came forward.

“YOU FORGET YOUR PLACE MAZIKEEN! YOU WOULD DO WELL TO REMEMBER THAT AND NOT TRY MY PATIENCE BECAUSE I CREATED YOU THEREFORE I CAN DESTROY YOU!”  Linda, not wanting to be in the middle of an argument between the Devil and his demon, hid behind the couch.  Maze, however, just stood there, picking the non-existent dirt from under her fingernails.

“Are you done?” she asked, sounding bored.  “Just go. Run away.  Linda and I will deal with this.”

“Arrangements have been made for all of you.  I will see you again Mazikeen.”  Lucifer turned to Linda, who’d come up from behind the couch.  “I hope I never see you again Doctor.  May you rejoice in your eternal life in the Silver City.”

“You don’t have to go Lucifer.  Stay. Stay and talk to Chloe.  She was probably just surprised, and wants you to explain everything.”

“Maybe, but I can’t risk that she never wants to see me again.  I couldn’t bear that kind of rejection, not from her.”  

Lucifer smiled at them both one last time and walked out onto the balcony once again.  He spread his wings and jumped.

[littleplebe]

For @hollyspacey. A little something I wrote based on a story you told me ages ago. I had to take some creative freedom with the content but the inspiration definitely came from you. Happy belated birthday, my friend.

“Would you stop fidgeting? People are staring.”

Darcy threw a fleeting glance at an annoyed Jane before going back to spying on the open double doors. All evening, she had been keeping an eye out for Natasha, who had promised her an introduction with her favorite Avenger, the Winter Soldier.

Stark’s New Year’s Eve ball was in full swing but neither the Widow nor the Winter Soldier had made an appearance yet. Despite being nervous as hell, Darcy was beginning to think maybe the redhead had been having her on.

“What if he’s not coming?” she asked Jane, who was gazing longingly at a happy group of scientists standing some distance away. Tony Stark was right in the center of the group, as always commanding all the attention.

Jane tore her eyes from the sight and glared at Darcy. “What if I don’t care?”

Her salty response went unheard as Darcy rambled on. “Oh God, Jane! I swear I’m gonna die of nervousness. Nat says he’s reserved. What if he doesn’t talk to me? Or looks at me like I’m a silly fangirl?”

“No!” Jane gasped comically. “Why would he ever?”

“No, really. What should I say to him? Quick, help me think of something smart.”

“A minute ago, you were wondering whether he’d even show up.”

“It’s a valid concern.” Darcy paused and fluffed her hair for the hundredth time. “But it’s the eve of a new year and I have hope. Besides—”

“There they are,” Jane announced, cutting her off.

“What!”

The astrophysicist cackled when Darcy squeaked and jumped a foot in the air, her head swiveling to the double doors in blatant excitement, only to slump and turn back to Jane with a huff.

“Thanks,” she said. “You’re evil.”

“And you’re pathetic.”

“At least I’m not a liar!”

Jane rolled her eyes. “I don’t understand what you’re so worked up about, Darce. He’s just a guy.”

“A really nice, amazing, brave and attractive guy,” Darcy added emphatically. “He’s an Avenger! He’s not just some guy. I’m just a girl.”

“You’re amazing, too.”

“Yes, but he doesn’t know that.”

Jane sighed in resignation and gave up trying to make her friend see sense. The girl was apparently a goner, and when Darcy lost it, it was better to wait and let her calm down by herself.

Ten agonizing minutes later—during which Jane had to endure all kinds of crazy questions from “do my breasts look too big in this dress?” to “do you think he likes blanket forts?”—Natasha Romanoff finally arrived on the arm of Bruce Banner, followed by a subdued looking Bucky Barnes. All three of them made a beeline for the bar. Bruce especially looked like he could use some liquid courage to get him through the night.

Jane, having spotted them first, nudged Darcy. “They’re here.”

The brunette scoffed and barely looked up from her phone, in which she was obsessively checking her reflection. “Ugh. I look so slutty in this dress, Janey. Look at the amount of cleavage I’m flashing! I should have worn a scarf. Or a cardigan. You think that guy over there will lend me his coat?”

“You look fine,” Jane hissed, seizing Darcy’s jaw and forcing her face up. “Look over there.”

“Jane, what—oh!” Her eyes widened and a tiny moan escaped her lips. Jane let go of her immediately. “He’s here. Oh God, he’s here! What are we gonna do? What are we… shit, sorry for poking you!” Jane rubbed her throbbing eye while Darcy gushed, “Have you ever seen anyone so beautiful?”

“Everyone in this room is beautiful.”

“Hey, I just thought of the perfect ice breaker.”

“You’re not asking the Winter Soldier how much a polar bear weighs.”

“Why not?” She pulled out her phone excitedly. “I’m gonna take a picture of his thighs, just in case I never see him again.”

Jane dragged a weary hand down her face. It was like talking to a rock. Nothing except the Winter Soldier’s presence seemed to be penetrating Darcy’s mind, least of all good judgment. She caught Natasha’s eye and waved frantically.

“Over here!”

Jane had no doubts about the hilarity that would ensue thereafter, but even she could not predict the level of embarrassment her best friend would have to endure in the next few minutes.

While Bruce went to join the circle of conferring scientists, Natasha dragged Barnes in the direction of the two women, one of whom was subtly trying to adjust her dress again.

“Nat!” Jane greeted, giving the redhead a quick hug. “I was starting to think you had ditched us.”

“The thought crossed my mind… but I had a promise to keep.” Natasha’s green eyes twinkled as she threw Darcy a wink. “Barnes isn’t too keen on parties. I had to bribe him to make an appearance.” The man beside her said nothing, so she casually pointed at each woman and said, “Dr. Jane Foster. Darcy Lewis. They’re visiting Stark for the holidays. Ladies, meet Bucky Barnes, popularly known as the Weiner Soldier.”

Barnes grunted.

“I mean, the Winter Soldier.” Natasha smirked. “Oops.”

Jane suppressed a snort and smiled politely. “Sergeant Barnes.”

He didn’t seem inclined to do anything but nod. Jane was fine with it. Darcy wasn’t. She thrust out her hand and held it between them until a surprised Barnes finally reached for it and gave it a gentle shake.

Darcy let out a giggle, uttered a breathy hi, and forgot that handshakes were meant to be brief. With his hand still clasped securely in hers, she stammered, “I… uh… make excellent blanket forts.”

Jane resisted the urge to slap a hand to her forehead.

Barnes looked utterly nonplussed by her unexpected declaration and Jane could hardly blame him. Darcy’s quirkiness was bewildering at best and annoying at worst, but once you got used to it, nothing seemed more entertaining than her ability to say absolutely anything at any given moment.

Right now, it didn’t seem like she had the wits to follow her statement with an explanation. In fact, judging by her expression and the way her eyes closed as if to say ‘what the frakity frak, Darcy?!’, she definitely hadn’t intended on blanket forts being the first words out of her mouth when she met her long time crush.

“Don’t worry,” Jane jumped to the rescue. “She’s not fishing for compliments.”

Darcy turned pink and hastily shook her head when Barnes looked back at her. Despite her uncharacteristic bout of shyness, her wide eyes were trained firmly on him, as if afraid he would disappear if she looked away or let go of his hand.

“She’s not crazy either,” Jane added. “Our girl here doesn’t have the best record with first meetings.”

“She tazed Thor when he first landed on Earth,” Natasha supplied helpfully. “And sprayed Sam with red ink when they met.”

That seemed to pique Barnes’ interest. The tension around his eyes started to ease and his lips parted in a faint smile. When he spoke, his voice was low and gruff. (Jane had to admit, it was pretty sexy.)

“I’m sure birdbrain deserved it.”

Darcy’s jaw dropped and she nodded vigorously. “He… yeah, he did. Do you… want to know what happened?”

“Yeah.”

While a beaming Darcy launched into her tale, Jane turned to an amused Natasha and whispered, “What are we doing? She’s gonna eat him alive.”

The redhead grinned. “He may look broody, but he’s just as wild.”

“What exactly do you think is going to happen here?”

“Dunno. I’m just doing my part as the Avengers’ personal Cupid. Barnes needs someone fun and sassy like Lewis.”

Jane rolled her eyes. “Ever the matchmaker.”

“I try.” There was a pause, then Nat murmured, “Let’s make this interesting. Ten bucks says they get together by the end of this week.”

It was wrong to bet on a friend’s love life but it was also stupid to refuse an opportunity to bet against the Widow. She may be the winner of several Avenger betting pools, but Jane knew Darcy the best. This bet was hers.

“Alright. Twenty says she embarrasses herself before the night ends.”

“You’re on.”

Darcy and Bucky were still talking about Sam Wilson when both women tuned back into their conversation. Out of all the things in the world, it was their shared love of antagonizing the Falcon that had done the trick. They were bonding, and although Darcy appeared to be doing most of the talking, Barnes didn’t look like he minded. His eyes frequently crinkled in amusement as he listened to her speak. Jane noticed his hand was still trapped in hers and his thumb moved almost absently across the back of Darcy’s hand.

“We should go,” Nat announced after a while. “There are a few people who want to meet us. Also, Steve’s over there being a wallflower again.” The redhead jerked her thumb to the left and sure enough, on the other side of the room, the Captain was silently lurking in the shadows with a glass of whiskey in hand. “I need to teach him some manners.”

Barnes followed her gaze and huffed out a fond laugh. “He’s worse than me. Punk hates parties.” He shook his head and turned back to Darcy. “It was nice to meet you, Ms. Lewis.” He squeezed her hand and almost looked reluctant to let it go.

“Nice to meet you too, Mr. Soldier. No, that’s not right. I mean, Sergeant Soldier… I mean…” she trailed away, flustered. “Shit.”

Barnes bit back a smile. “Call me Bucky.”

Jane shot a smug smile at Natasha. She was winning. Just one last thing to do. “Hey, why don’t we all take a picture together, yes? For memory’s sake.”

Darcy perked up. “Great idea.” She’d wanted a selfie with Bucky Barnes forever. She whipped out her phone and all four of them stepped closer to each other. They stood primly for the first couple of clicks. Then, Natasha made duck lips and Jane winked. Darcy stuck out her tongue and Bucky laughed. Someone behind them belched comically and that made him laugh more.

“Let’s see them,” Jane said, stealing the phone from Darcy and swiping through the pictures. “These are so good.”

“That’s the first time I’ve seen Barnes laugh all week,” teased Natasha, looking over her shoulder.

“Just because I don’t find your jokes funny,” Bucky began.

“Hey, what’s this?” Jane cut in, holding up the phone so they could all see the picture Darcy had taken earlier of Bucky Barnes’ wonderfully muscular thighs.

Darcy cried out and snatched the phone from Jane’s hand, but it was too late. They had already seen what was in there. She went bright red and so did Bucky. But he also looked like he was trying not to smile, which was a good sign.

“That’s not… I mean, I didn’t…” While Darcy hopelessly tried to explain the photograph, Natasha pulled a twenty dollar bill from her bra and handed it to Jane.

“You knew, didn’t you?”

“Yep,” Jane said cheerfully.

“… it’s for scientific reasons, I swear,” Darcy finished lamely, picking at her dress and avoiding his eyes.

Bucky cleared his throat. “That… makes sense, I guess.”

He was humoring her. Jane decided she liked him.

The sudden awkwardness that had settled over them was cute… and kinda funny. Everyone knew Nat was a sucker for such situations and liked to revel in them, but she said they really needed to mingle, so Jane nodded and watched as both Avengers bade them farewell and walked away.

“Bye.” Darcy let out a long breath and then rounded on Jane. “What the hell? Why would you do that to me?”

Jane could have responded with sass or she could have apologized, but frankly, she was more interested in the way Bucky turned one last time to take a peek at Darcy.

Oh, it was going to be a good new year indeed.