#it feels like such a barrier with neve. how can you cope with someone after that when they aren’t even sorry.

[vigilskeep]

i went all around dock town and there was truly nothing in their heart 😭 not that they don’t think what’s happening is terrible, but there is absolutely no trace of regret or self-blame. and not because they think treviso was a universally correct call either!! they just don’t believe for a second that a single person here would have chosen treviso if they asked. it’s the luck of the draw that it happened to be up to an antivan, which made it a foregone conclusion. and if it’s a foregone conclusion, and people were going to get hurt either way, how can there be fault except on the bad guys? so behind that smile, it turns out there’s a bit of a calculating edge that will always cut to the same conclusion: better you than me, better yours than mine. and they do entirely believe that when it comes down to it, anyone else would choose the same. that or whatever they claim they care about never mattered to them in the first place

i DID have my character save their own city but sol’s complete black hole absence of guilt about minrathous is more revealing of their character than like, anything else so far. really thrilled

[spooks-and-tea]

Entangled (Spencer Reid x femReader) [Ch.9]

Summary: You don’t know how it happened. One moment you were watching Criminal Minds, and the next moment you were literally in the show. Can Spencer be the key to helping you find your way back home?

Warnings: minor character death, mentions of su*cide, bad explanations of quantum mechanics, bad words, sexual situations (some non-con), the usual criminal minds-type content

A/N: Uhh more quantum mechanics that I don’t fully understand.

Word Count: 3,357

Chapter 1.  Chapter 2.  Chapter 3.  Chapter 4. Chapter 5.  Chapter 6.  Chapter 7. Chapter 8.  Chapter 9.  Chapter 10.  Chapter 11.

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Y/N (3 months later) You wanted to see the BAU again; to be in that world again. That's what motivated you to join the show and, somehow, you got the part.

Your character was new on the team, around your age, and Spencer's love interest. Of course.

Reading your character's description had almost put you off of accepting the part all together. Was it wrong to live vicariously through the show? It felt wrong. It felt wrong to pretend that tv-Spencer was your Spencer. Yet, you wanted to be on the sets, working at the BAU. You missed everyone and everything about that life.

Today, you walked onto the lot. You had a scene with Matthew. It was going to take place on the set of Spencer's apartment.

You mentally prepared yourself as you sat still for hair and makeup. This was the first time you would be in any form of Spencer's apartment since the night you were taken away.

You stopped in front of the production studio, screwing your eyes shut and counting to 10.

Your hand moved of it's own accord, over your chest. Would that magnetic feeling ever go away? Would it haunt you for the rest of your life? Would it remind you every day of what you lost, or of what you could've had?

You stepped onto the set and looked around, taking in the familiar setting that was once a place you called home. That big apartment never felt like a home. If you could go back you would've sold that place in a heartbeat to live with Spencer. Although, it was early on in your relationship, you both got along well when you lived together. You both could share the small space and still have enough room to love each other.

"Y/N! How's it going? You ready to film today?" Matthew came up to you with a coffee in his hand and a big smile.

You tried to not let that smile break your heart.

"Hey, I'm great. This is my first time on this set actually, it's cool to see it in real life." You bit your lip to mask the exaggeration in your tone.

"Ah. We won't be here long, we've got a bullpen scene later."

"Yeah."

You looked at your shoes. You knew what scene that was and, from what you read of the script, you weren't going to enjoy filming it.

Matthew studied you for a second, but was called away by the director before he could say anything else. What he was looking for, you couldn't say.

You read over this scene's lines and got into place. The director filled you in on some script changes and how he wanted your reactions to come across to the audience. You nodded in understanding and the cameras were rolled into place.

You cleared your throat and got into character just before the scene started.

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Spencer 3 months had passed by; 3 more months without her.

For 3 straight months, Spencer worked himself sick. People could tell he wasn't eating or sleeping. Garcia made the extra effort to bring him lunch everyday because he refused to leave the office to get it himself. Morgan would invite him out some nights, even volunteering to watch documentaries with him, but Spencer always shot him down.

His mind was constantly on the equation papers. Whenever the team wasn't working on other cases, he was looking over the equation, scribbling notes, rewriting the equation, and reading countless material on quantum mechanics. He felt so close to the answer, like it was just out of his reach.

Then, one day, Spencer received an unexpected call.

"Hello?"

"You'll find him at the warehouse at 4pm." A older woman's voice.

"Who is this?"

"You should hurry, if you want to see her again, that is. Your lives are already entangled. When the time is right, just follow the magnetic pull and it will lead you to her."

"I-" The caller hung up before Spencer could speak. He checked his wristwatch, it was 3pm. If he wanted to get there in time, he would have to leave now and drive fast. He looked around the bullpen for anyone that would let him borrow their car without asking too many questions.

"JJ!" He ran to catch up with her.

"Hey Spence? Why are you so excited?" Her eyebrows rose. She could barely contain her smile at his excitement. She'd been worried about him.

"I got a lead. I need to borrow your car. Please."

She immediately knew what case this lead was for.

"Spencer. How do you know this isn't a trap? You could be running blindly into a dangerous situation."

"I know and I don't care. This could be my last chance to find her. Please JJ, I don't have much time," Spencer pleaded.

She gave him a worried look. "Okay, but I'm driving."

"JJ, you don't have to come with me. If this is a trap I don't want you getting hurt. You have a family."

"You're not alone in this, Spence. We all want Y/N back. I'll call for backup when we get there."

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"4pm." Spencer suddenly said as JJ drove to the warehouse at the outskirts of town.

"It's 3:25. We still have time," JJ assured; side-eyeing him from the driver's seat.

"No. That's the answer! That's the missing piece to the equation!" Spencer's eyes were wide and he was accentuating his words with hand gestures.

"Okay, genius. What are you talking about?"

"The equation we found. I concluded that it was configuring quantum tunneling equations. When quantum particles gather enough energy, they're able to pass through barriers-"

"Like radio waves?" JJ asked.

"Yes! These pieces of equations, the Schrödinger's equation part, in particular, shows that our unsub was studying these high energy quantum particle waves. I understood that much, but valuable information was missing in those burnt pages."

"And what information was that?" JJ did her best to follow along.

"Time, the missing variable, it's time and space! Doctor Who! Dammit I've been so blind this whole time." His false memory was telling him the answers, but he had brushed them aside as delusions. His false memory of watching Doctor Who with Y/N before she woke up in his dimension.

"The Doctor travels through time and space in a loop, a void space. Time isn't linear, as we understand it, in these equations. The walls of her dimension cracked, a particle wave with high enough energy got through, but barely; cracking her end. That's how she got through, or at least that's how someone got her through."

"Okay Spence, watch the language, you're starting to scare me a little." JJ gave him a worried look. He hadn't been eating or sleeping, should she be driving the doctor to a doctor?

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Y/N You were stronger than you realized. The scene in Spencer's apartment had called for your character, Agent Audrey Stryfe, to subtly flirt with him. Being able to separate Matthew from your Spencer outside of your scenes was proving to be a helpful coping mechanism that you kept at the back of your mind during filming.

What wasn't going to help was the scene you were just getting into place for.

"Aaaaand, action!"

"Dr. Reid." You strolled over and sat at the edge of his desk in the bullpen set. He looked up.

"Explain to me again how our unsub was able to pull off all of this in one night." You tunnel visioned, no longer seeing the cameras or edges of the set in the peripherals of your vision.

Matthew twirled his pencil, flicking his eyes down at your skin that peaked out from under your fitted skirt.

"Actually, I don't think our unsub was acting alone. Remember the box of ticket stubs located at the first hideout? Those were momentos; kept in pairs. I believe we're dealing with 2 unsubs, a couple."

"Star-crossed lovers, a new-age Bonnie and Clyde," your character considered.

Matthew nodded and stood up, walking up to the pinboard.

"Based on the geographical locations of the crime scenes and hide outs, we can see that they're making their way west." He ran his fingers along the map's red markings.

"Will they cross state lines?" You walked up next to him.

"There's a high probability they will, yes."

"Can we confidently say that one is the aggressor and one is just tagging along?"

"Yes, in cases with couples like these, typically the male is the aggressor. For example, Bonnie and Clyde. Clyde had a history of committing crimes long before he met Bonnie. She only became a criminal after they became a couple."

"But why would the unsub's partner go along with these killings willingly?" You asked.

Matthew turned to look at you.

"Love. History says Bonnie fell in love with Clyde and that's why she stuck by him as his partner; though he was a terrible criminal. He made multiple failed attempts at robbing banks. Clyde actually wrecked their car at one point, nearly killing her with these 3rd degree burns that nearly lost her a leg. She was also struck by bullets multiple times, but still she stayed by his side. We know he loved her too because a smart, or ruthless, criminal would have left her behind after the leg injury. Clyde carried her around; sometimes she limped. She couldn't properly walk for the rest of her short life."

"Devotion, idolization, justification. These unsubs are recreating the Bonnie and Clyde crimes. I can't agree that it's love that drives them, though."

"Why is that?"

"When you love someone, you want what's best for them. You'd never put them in harms way. If Clyde really loved Bonnie, he would have never taken her along with their gang in the first place," you nearly choked on the familiar words.

Matthew nodded, eyes scanning the map.

"I suppose a more appropriate defining word for their relationship would be 'obsession.'"

"If you were in the male unsub's position, what would you do, Dr. Reid?"

"I'd protect her." He looks at you again. "I'd turn myself in, admit that everything was my doing." Matthew was a great actor, but he couldn't recreate your Spencer's expression when he looked at you.

"Hmm," you hummed.

I'm going to be sick.

"Have you ever been in love, Agent Stryfe? You seem to know a lot on the subject."

"Yes, in fact. I have." You swallowed, eyes going glossy.

"May I ask with whom?" He smiled, slyly.

"I'll tell you if you promise we can take a break from this. We've been working all night. You promised me dinner, Dr. Reid." You poked his chest.

Stay in character; just stay in character and get through this scene. You can cry later.

"I didn't think all this talk of murder would work up much of an appetite," he chuckled.

"We've worked here long enough, catching murderers is normal. " You smiled.

Matthew nodded, his tongue flicking out to wet his lips.

"We could raid the snacks in the break room, then get right back to work." He suggested.

"Oh no. You're going to properly wine and dine me, Doctor." You stepped forward, placing your hand over his chest.

He went quiet for a heartbeat.

You shrugged. "Fine, then I'll just have to treat myself." You smirked at him and turned to grab your purse from your desk.

Matthew grabbed your wrist, stopping you. You gave a sly look to the edge of the nearest camera.

Matthew spun you around, placing his hands on either side of your face and bringing you into an intense kiss.

You disassociated from yourself, right then, letting him lead you through the kiss. He pulled away, still holding you.

"Dr. Reid. If I had known you kissed like that, I would have asked you out sooner." There it was, your final line.

"So-" He cleared his throat.

"Dinner?" Has asked, holding out his elbow. Your character giddily wrapped her arms around it and swept up her purse.

"Cut! That was great! Take a break, we'll come back in 5." The director called out.

You breathed heavily, practically running out of the studio. You needed fresh air.

As soon as you broke through to the outside lot you felt the tears begin to fall. You gasped for breath, sobbing for someone who didn't exist here. Sobbing for the Spencer Reid who originally wrote that script for you.

5 months you had gone without him. You could no longer remember the exact last words he spoke to you. Your mind hazily pictured his eyes as he watched you begging for him. He was becoming a fading dream.

You wondered if he was still searching for you. Was the whole BAU on your case? He must've known by now what really happened; that he could never get you back. He must have blamed himself.

You cried harder.

If you could just send him one more message. You could properly tell him that you loved him and that it wasn't his fault.

You clenched your aching chest.

"Y/N?" You held your arms around yourself tighter at the sound of his voice. You knew it wasn't your Spencer, you would only hear him in your dreams now.

"Sorry Matthew. I just need a moment alone." You were facing away from him, but your posture and voice gave away your emotions.

"Listen. I know that I remind you of someone important. You have the most difficulty filming scenes with me, more than with Shemar or anyone else. I feel super bad about it. Let me take you out for dinner later. I'll even sing Disney songs in the car at the top of my lungs with you." He stepped in front of you.

You laughed a little through your tears. Matthew was a lovely friend, he didn't deserve to feel guilty about something he couldn't control.

"You don't have to take me anywhere. I'll be fine, really." You sniffled, looking up at him.

"Nope. I think you need junk food. The greasiest food that Southern California has to offer." He smiled, pulling you into a tight hug.

You giggled. He wasn't going to let this go.

"Fine," you grumbled.

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"So let me get this straight. I strongly resemble your ex and that's why you've been acting strange around me?" Matthew spoke through a mouthful of In-N-Out cheeseburger bits.

You nodded, sipping your milkshake. You'd never eaten on the hood of a car before, but Matthew thought it was absurd not to watch the sun set turn the sky pink and orange. It did make the semi-empty parking lot look more ethereal.

"You seem really torn up over him, did things end badly?" Matthew asked.

"Neither one of us wanted it to end. I was taken away from him." You lay your head back down on your elbow, looking up at the sky.

"What do you mean?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Y/N I believe in a lot of things. A lot of things others don't believe in. I know there are things out there that we can't explain and I know you have no reason to lie about something I see effecting you every day. I'll believe you." You did know he was into the paranormal. Would he actually believe you?

"Alright you asked for it." You turned on your side to look at him.

"Remember how I told you that I missed the first Criminal Minds casting call I was lined up for?" He nodded while biting into his greasy food.

"Well I missed it because I woke up in another place, as in, not-of-this-dimension." You paused, bracing yourself to be verbally torn apart.

He blinked, but motioned for you to continue. You were stunned he hadn't immediately laughed at you.

"I woke up in a dimension where the plot and all the characters of Criminal Minds were real. I woke up in the BAU and everyone there knew me."

"This sounds like a dream," he commented.

"I thought it was, so I tried to jump off a cliff into a lake to wake myself up. It's my greatest fear, but it didn't work. Spencer Reid saved me before I drowned. After, I stayed in that dimension for a month." Matthew's eyebrows raised.

You continued to explain everything to him and he stayed quiet, just listening, barely giving reactions.

"Spencer Reid is your ex." He realized just before you got to the part where you had confessed your love to Spencer at the BAU.

"Yes, he is."

"Does he- look like me? Does he act the same way he's written in the show?"

"He looks and sounds just like you, but he has his minor differences with his facial expressions. He's a bit different than how the showrunners write him."

"Wow."

"Yeah."

"But how did you get back here? How did you get separated?" He frowned.

"An unsub kidnapped me and brought me back here. I think he has something to do with how I left in the first place."

"So you really were taken from him," he breathed. "I'm so sorry."

"Yes, but I'm coming to terms with it. There's no way I can ever see him again. It was nearly impossible that I ended up in his dimension in the first place."

"Y/N, I've been playing the guy for 15 years. If I know him, which I believe I do pretty well, I know he won't stop trying to find you."

You sighed.

"That's what I'm afraid of; I don't want him to go the rest of his life feeling guilty and searching for something he can't possibly find. I just want him to be happy."

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Spencer

When JJ parked outside the warehouse at 3:53pm. Spencer practically took off running inside.

"Spencer!" JJ called.

He burst through the doors and drew his firearm. He spun around, checking his surroundings. The warehouse had only one large space at this point, with beams to hold up the roof. The integrity of the interior, individual room walls, had given out; leaving only rubble behind.

Spencer's eyes widened as they landed on a platform machine that stood in the middle of the old warehouse. It was connected to a generator, filling the room with a humming noise. A dim, white light emanated from the circle in the middle of the platform. Near it was a table with scattered paperwork, identical to the notes Spencer had found at the abandoned house. A large computer with maybe 100 multi-colored wires connected to a box-shaped machine with blinking red, blue, and green lights. This box connected back to the platform with two large black wires on either side.

Spencer slowly neared the computer, the humming of the machinery matching up perfectly with the wavelength of the magnetic humming in his chest; it pulled him closer.

"Spencer watch out!"

Spencer spun on his heel just as JJ called out. He dropped to the floor just as an older man in a trench coat reached forward to grab him. The momentum caused the man to trip over Spencer, landing hard on the concrete floor in front of him. JJ took this opportunity to lunge at the man, quickly and skillfully handcuffing him.

"Oh you are lucky I came with you! What the hell do you think you're doing Spencer?!" JJ yelled.

Spencer caught his breath, looking at the man. He was the one Y/N saw; he was the unsub.

"That's our unsub He's the one who took Y/N." Spencer spoke quickly.

He checked his watch; 3:57pm. He had 3 minutes. The unsub could wait, Spencer needed to find you.

Spencer sprung up and sprinted to the computer. A white box with a blinking line waited for an input. Spencer tuned out JJ reading the unsub his rights and calling for backup.

His eyes glanced over the scattered papers. He willed his brain to work faster than it ever had before as he calculated the full equation, with time and space included, in his head. He mumbled incoherent variables and squeezed his eyes shut.

The humming grew louder. 3:59pm. His eyes flew open as he typed in the answer; harshly clicking 'enter'. He stumbled to the platform, standing over the glowing white circle just as 4:00pm hit.

The last thing he saw was a blinding white light.

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