#it feels like a low possibility rn
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#just needed to vent for a sec but oh god am i tired of people#'friends' both irl and online got me fucked up lately#mental healths been in the shitter almost nonstop this year#familys always got me up the wall#i just feel like I'm constantly treading water and i am *tired*. like so fucking TIRED#it's never enough; it's too much; no not like that; but not that either; it's all wrong wRoNg WrOnG#ik im sleep deprived and possibly pms-y and that is most certainly not helping things rn but...#gods i see less and less of a reason to get out of bed and bother with anything ever again#wtf is the purpose#i can't keep friends to save my life bc im apparently a fuckin doormat and interesting as unflavored rice or smth#how hard is it to feel like you maybe sorta kinda matter and aren't an unlovable worthless piece of shit#years of therapy; trying meds; everything under the sun.... and nothing. lows and highs and dips of every kind and yet ..nothing#and maybe im just very much in my feelings rn and just yelling into the void.. but it hurts and im tired of pretending it doesn't.#i hate how hard it is to make friends as an adult especially irl. and how gossipy and cliquey and gross and mean ppl can be#of getting called childish and naive and boring for wanting to be a decent person and having interests outside of partying#(not attacking those traits but tired of getting attacked for *not* being 'fun' enough or 'social' enuf or 'sensitive' for having feelings)#enough*#i just want to go eat drywall and stand in the rain and let it help me pretend im not crying blood rn.#like every cell in my body isn't trying to spontaneously combust.#'it gets better' ..yeah? when. when i was 14? when i was 23? when im 37? when im 55? 82? WHEN.. bc im so sick and tired#and no this isn't me writing a final note or whatever it sounds like; i just wanted to word vomit bc ive never been good w sadness#and ive got such an overwhelming amount of it rn i can't even turn it into anger & spite & use that for productivity... i just want to rot#to lie down and be covered by plants as i sleep and just slowly fade into a cloud or smth like it's a ghibli movie or wtv.#im like shaking from how stupidly emotional i feel rn. the lack of empathy these days is fuckin astounding#common sense & empathy are lacking in absolutely droves these days. some days i hate the internet & tech for its irreparable damages sm#but here we are and here it shall remain. long after us; and *long* after us ..... *sigh*#anyway ima go try to take a nap or smth. I'll see ya when i see ya. take care my lovelies#if u read all this i prob owe you a cookie lol
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🤧🐀🌧️🌊
#need to clear my head;#im in such a bad mood. my face is in a perpetual angry state. im just so so bitter nd pessimistic rn#trying not to get stuck in negative chaos thought spirals nd to just take it as it come#nd be patient bc recovery takes time i know. but i havent been able to feel healthy or functional for 7 months nd i am so tired#i cant help but worry abt my health nd what kinda diet i can have nd how to work all of that out.#like the removal of the gallbladder dont ensure a good digestive system. they remove it bc it can irrepairably hurt u#also im so so stressed out abt school nd my courses. i already had to drop one last week. nd it isnt looking like i'll be able to pass my#eng class.. it just isnt looking like it's realistic at all :/ i personally dont mind if i fail. but i can get issues w my wellfare hmm#bc like im still feeling rough nd u only get sick leave for one week after surgery.. so i have to go on thursday nd friday but im gnna#be in pain plus be so hungry nd be unable to concentrate idk#idk idk!! im already willing to take out loans to finish my upper secondary school.. but i have to make it work w timing nd stuff so im not#sitting here unable to pay rent or the bills or food lmao. so idk have to fix it somehow#nd the pressure of this country rapidly declining state is stressing me tf out!! having nazi conservative rightists in the ruling is just#dreadful!!!! for many reasons but atm idek if i can do distance classes like i wanted to ://#i just.. wanna be able to go for my long walks. go to the gym. eat normally. have coffee. study nd finish highschool.#then apply for whatever program i can nd move to another calmer city. prob eventually find a path to move to another country. like norway..#im thinking too much but my thoughts are spinning nd killing me like i cant stop it im so scared nd anxious lmao 💀#im also trying to be brave and write to the psych clinic for personality disorders nd be upset nd 'beg' them for help ksksksks.#but like... the thing abt having avpd is that i kinda dont wanna bc im scared of the possibility of them helping me lol#im just in a low place nd bad headspace and it's just getring worse nd im getting more nd more tired#i dont have much more energy to keep it together nd pretend like im ok or like i have hope lmaoooo idk what to do#anyway... idk idk guess i just gotta .. keep crawling forward anyway i can
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...
#what do you call it when a mind is lacking in depth of m thought? is there a word for that?#because all my mind can do is spin in tiny circles. never push any further. no depth of thought#i cant even carry out this line of thought to completion in my head. i have to write it down like this or else it remains stuck in an eddy#its so frustrating. when my thoughts are pressured i spin so fast it feels like my head might pop but the thoughts never go anywhere#bc they just repeat the same god damn things all thr fucking time. they drag me around in circles. then when im feeling low or even like#normal. my head just feels empty and it freaks me out. i have no intersting thoughts to think. theres nothing behind my eyes#possibly its just my brain on 0cd. but how am i suppose to escape the spiral if its in my own head? i guess im just supposed to changr my#reaction to it. recognize what it is and let it go. but i dont like it#i just want to curl up on a warm tile floor. press myself into a quiet corner and not think anything#in an aquarium or a conservatory. specifically the conservatory in Columbus. i love that place#i went there for my birthday when i was like 12 bc i liked it so much. the botanically gardens and the butterflies and the stained glass#i dunno. i just like it there. ugh. im just tired#god. there was a really cool talk today and im always like im not that inattentive lol but then i cannot for the life of me follow a talk or#read a paper all thr way through. my short term working memory is just a tiny little cup. easy to overfill#so i miss mostly everything. its so frustrating#its all frustrating. whatever. back to the psychiatrist tomorrow. probably up thr lamicta1 dosage#bc im past where i was last time i had a reaction to it 💪#i just wish i wanted to draw. drawing just makes me tired and impatient rn#unrelated
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#Spotify#music for when you’re driving to ace hardware to buy mousetraps so you can kick out that mouse like Nick Cave says#and when you get there you give him your best friend’s phone number bc you unfortunately have it memorized and he goes to ace hardware all#the time for work#and the guy on the register squints at you and confirms the very male name on the screen#and you resist the urge to squeak out an excuse and just confirm#and then you stop by aldi on the way back and buy two tubs of Greek yogurt and two bottles of synergy kombucha#bc even though you brew your own and actually have way more than you could possibly handle rn bc it’s so hot in your house#you are a sucker for limited edition flavors and it will cause you to spend $8 on kombucha#so you buy pomelo lemonade and cherry coconut lemongrass#which is the summer flavor named unity or something#and you usually get one every year#but you still feel ridiculous walking out of aldi with two tubs of yogurt and two bottles of kombucha and nothing else even though no one#you know sees you even though west ********* is crawling with acquaintances#and then you get back in your car and you’re proud of the rare burst of executive function which allowed you to finally put the new battery#in your car keys even though you stole the battery from target like two months ago you just couldn’t figure out how to open the damn thing#and the convenience is novel and you think wow maybe I should injure my ribcage more often if it’s forcing me to take care of all these#tiny tasks like buying mousetraps and replacing your key battery and cooking figs in honey et cetera#and you drive down the hill and see low clouds snagging in the blue ridge mountains and feel alright for a moment#and go to the scratch and dent where you buy butter and a couple 33¢ seltzers and a diet ginger ale as a lil treat#and when you get back home you drop it on the gravel road and the ginger ale begins to leak out so you put your mouth to it even though the#thought of what nonsense is on the outside of the can from the manufacturing and shipping process lingers#and by the time you get to the kitchen and pour it over ice in a mason jar it’s fairly flat from the burst of bubbles when you poured it#awkwardly with one hand#and you drink what remains on the porch where it’s a post-rain subdued sky sort of dusk#and you think about how much it’s gonna hurt to leave and how you have no other option because of how entwined you’ve become with someone#who is the entire city and the entire vast forest and possibly the entire ecological region#and then you’re still hungry so you eat some meal prepped overnight oats that were for tomorrow morning. the end#journal
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Damn you tumblr notification system and my own hubris
#I am one of the fools who opens a message to get rid of the notif thinking oh yeah i'll remember to reply to that#AND THEN#sOBS... I feel like a total dick rn#the smallest of brain moments#tumblr needs a new thing where if u've opened a message but don't reply it boops u in a day or soemthing to be like#yo u haven't replied to that u possible adhd low attention span brain fog headass 🔫#ANYWAY. is sunday which means no think no exist just vibe 👋 I am blob for the next 24 hours#nadine is typing...
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where were you for the companion queer reveals. doctorwhotv.com listing clara kissing jane austen as one of their 10 teasers for the magicians apprentice. interview with pearl mackie where she said bill was gay and i told my friend about it immediately after watching his gcse drama performance and forgot to congratulate him. obviously the complete bafflement that came with thasmin canon. ruby sunday confirmed bi in review that i saw 30 mins after rewatching ruby road
#genuinely all very formative memories for me#ruby doesnt feel that crazy rn but it is very possible she’ll be better rep than the others#very low bar and one they probably still wont cross. but still#i imagine it’ll probably be a couple throwaway lines about girls she liked so not too different to clara really#dw
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i cant see posts cos my app is borked but i can still MAKE posts so you all can still see me complain!
it is so fucking impossible to search for fucking anything at all on the goddamn internet and if you want any amount of specificity at all you are well and truly fucked
#toy txt post#me: ceramic gooseneck kettle#borosilicate glass gooseneck kettle. does this exist? even one? etsy: google: wayfair: amazon: one billion listicles with amszon affiliate#links: here are metal kettles? cast iron kettles? thats what you want? best gooseneck kettles of 2024#i dont want that. theyre all gonna be fucking metal bc thats easy to make that shape ig and ppl dont Taste it except for me ig#and its like low cost and not fragile compared to other materials? theres glass kettles that i should probably just go for but i thought id#check if there was even a possibility of a really nice controlled pour with a material i cant taste. but whatever. ive even capitulated to#having to do it on a stove at this point somewhat just fuck i want one that boils the water and pours it nicely that doesnt have fucking#metal touching the water at any point bc i can Fucking Taste It and it tastes bad#and it also doesnt even taste metallic which is cool. love that. just tastes like maximum grody. no one else can taste it. i feel insane#the water vessels were so clean and yet still tasted so fucking bad i was wondering if i even still like coffee. i did and do. i just dont#fucking like water thats interacted with metal i guess#anyway this is just me complaining about how impossible it is to fucking gind anything#find* also im Exploring Black Coffee. im in my coffee era. im trying to taste and unlock and understand and explore the Complex Flavors#i bought a chemex. its fun to watch it brew...imagine if i could control the water flow better. rn im pouring#from a pyrex bowl out of the microwave and its impossible to control the pour. it pours so bad. im going insane
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i'm really excited for next season but sadly C4S4 is the first season since C4S2 that i won't be able to get to level 200 on on my main. actually last two seasons i bought the level up skin and didn't this time but last two seasons it wasn't relevant because i leveled up to 200 even without considering them. worth noting that on my switch/work account i got several gold style skins this season while last season it only got a couple of the wildscorch styles. my main and switch accs are around the same level lol. ohwell i dont even really care that much not getting gold kado, if i never got gold mizuki i'd kms but gold kado is whatever. having gold piper mae and antonia on both of my accounts is really cool to me
#my post#the tags are a ton of ranting about my fortnite accounts!#if i put in some effort i can get gold fish thicc on my main but idk if i will in time lol#btw on my OTHER switch account that doesn't even have a skin yet#we're sitting at 600 vbucks so next season its guaranteed to be able to get a skin#it's on my switch that's not an oled i haven't sold yet for some reason#that i play on sometimes just goofing around at home as a bit of a side project. i have hyperfixation on fortnite lmao#also you can use it to get into low tier servers tho i didnt think to make it a refer a friend for the shroom skin ANYWAY#whether i stick that account out til it gets 950 for the battle pass or just get one at 800 it'll finally have a skin and that feels nice#i havent played on it for a while because there arent any rewards i can get on it rn anymore. like i did the horde rush etc#and got the event pickaxes and gliders and stuff lol grabbing the f2p stuff like i been doing on there#this season was the first time i got to lv 96 on there and got all the vbucks possible from the free battle pass
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definitive ranking of star wars movies based on how george lucas they are
#not sure which one would be the most but i think ESB is definitively the least george lucas#not sure where the prequels would fall because i don't feel like watching all of them again rn#and to protect my peace i will probably never watch any of the sequels again but theyre probably low on the list#theyre bad but theyre not george lucas. you know#avpost#ill explain. georgelucasness is mostly about how he writes dialogue. and weird choices made abt women.#and specifically if its about the edited versions then its also about how much distracting shitty cgi is in it#in which case a new hope might take victory. rotj is only a little georgelucas its mostly pushed ahead by the jabba palace scenes#those are possibly the most georgelucas part of the entire trilogy.
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I'm. Overwhelmed
#i have too many blogs i think i need to cut down a Lot#im thinking make my general multi again#and cut down to kurt/jase/pearl ridge and Very low activity multi#having ben/jackie is super fun i love them and yj currently airing adds so much muse but i. i dont have time#and starting new blogs is. hard and i dont know how to. start things#i love ben and i want to write ben but i dont know what to write. or how to write. does that make sense#I'd move kurt and jase to the multi but in the past that has#not worked out they just. they have too much lore for a multi i think and it overwhelms people or they dont care enough to read it#which like. to be fair still happens a lot on jasons solo blog#idk i just. i have had a Lot of muse and desire to write and plot lately for all my muses but. something is. something doesnt click#and actually writing on here is just. not possible for some reason#something about tumblr is#its too much right now#which is weird bc like i dont. i dont have anything really going on its school holidays rn#but somehow theres just. im constantly overwhelmed and being here usually helps but it hasn't lately#i feel like. has the energy on tumblr shifted over the past few months#it feels like it has#like community wise?#like i dont think the new editor is to blame i prefer the new editor#i dont know. i don't know#something is different#and i don't like it
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I love finding new hyper mobility things ab myself lmao like I can bend my thumb to touch the knuckle on my index finger. Thats not NORMAL sgsgdggdgdgdg
I can put my foot behind my head, touch my thumb to my wrist, bend my neck to touch my spine, and can move my shoulder joint down further than it should :)
Probably should have brought this up to my pain management dr today but sgdgdggd what would he do ab it besides say "don't do that." ?
#marquilla#also overheard him say to another patient (bc the walla are so fucking thin it feels like a hipaa violation) that he doesnt prescribe#narcotics unless you're end of life stage diagnosis bc then it doesn't matter how it affects the body and it wont like ruin your life if you#get addicted bc you're dying. basically saying those meds are for making you as comfortable as possible before you die and#while you're living you must suffer i mean use other options sgdgdgdgdg#and i get his point though bc of the opioid epidemic HOWEVER i do believe some people do need them while they're living life#TO be able to live life#im not there yet but would it kill yall to give me some low risk painkillers for flares 😩#i had a drs practitioner give me two GREAT meds once but they sent me into an allergic reaction and now those have to be reportef#on every allergy chart bc they could kill me (: anyway i went back and was like they worked great til i had a reaction could we try#something else? she got really apologetic for the reaction (understandable but also not your fault man! you're good!) and said no talk#to your reg dr when she gets back. she said no :))))#idk where im going with this sggdgdgdgd i think bc im in a flare rn im just like ughhhhh#bc i took 600mg advil and 500mg tylenol at 2pm and im still in pain 😩 and its too wide spread for salonpas 😩😩😩😩#i hate the opioid epidemic for several reasons but one is bc now you cant even ASK for pills without getting the side eye and told to just#do yoga about it or take aleeve 🙄 bitch ive tried!!#sgdggd the nurse was like how long have you had this pain? 13 or 14 years. she was like oh jeez 😬 agdgdgdg like tell me about it man
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#im gonna say smth and no one is allowed to say a fucking Word. i need to . type this out bc i cant Say It Out Loud#but . it is slighrly disgusting and patheyic (imo) and just . huh .#anyway . the tightening in evety inch of my body at the idea that . i might not get what i want (*) . but that even if i dont get that#ill get Something somewhat better n its just .#hard to swallow. bc im so tired for settling for what i dont want .#like letting go of shit ivrlly want for smth thats supposedly better for me#letting did not look like a real word just then what the fuck man#anyway . it is awful bc like . having so many realisations n realising that . ive forgiven a lot less and a lot worse .#n its a whole thing i cant get into bc im figuring out what exactly . thst sys abt me and where it stems from#it feels Okay . like its coming grom a Good Place. n not one of low seld worth#but like . having to possibly actually settle for less than what i actually want . is awful bc i dont like doing that and im tjred of doing#that. even if its good / better for me?#i cannot think of any other situstion simular rn other than yhe job fuckery. but . never wity a person#have i felt like this. n i dont know where or why its a Thibg. butcit is. ajd i dont know why hes fucking different.#but so much is out of my control !!!! and idk what to do anymore except just . keep pretendinf he doesnt exist#and moving like i did in high school: just zignoring how i feel bc i see the fucker constantly#it genuinely does parallel to hs rn how do i keep .#but also how is this a conpletely new situstion ive Never Exprrienced. how is this haopening to me.#i keep thinkibg abt the letter j wroye to my 21st (on my 18th) n i havent opened it#bc i missed opening it actually on my 21st. so i decided to live out actually being 21 before i#opebed the letter just to see how much had actually changed.#gonna open it aroubd my birthday. im terrified. bc i reread that letter 5x vefore wrappibg it uo. and ive thought abt it Constantly#to rmber its contents bc im Obsessed with it somehowm butbi still dont know .#i plan tocwritr another for my 25th. n 27th thrn again my 30th.#theyre fun lil time capsules . n its nice . i used to do 6montg to yearly ones but . shit got so bad i did Not wanna keep writing abt it .#so . this Will be fun . it was the 1st attemot at that too like . its why i started the 6mth letters bc i wanted to see the gradual sgifts#n reread them on my 21st but life had other plans apparently.#anyway.
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BOYNEXTDOOR AND KISSES
genre. fluff. warnings. a lot of kisses. maybe slightly suggestive in sungho's. not proofread. pairing. ot6 boynextdoor x reader. wc. 830. (around 140 per member) request. no. a/n. i have so many requests to finish rn but the brainrot was too strong for this one... net. @onedoornet
PARK SUNGHO ミ 박성호
this romantic ass man… forehead kisses ughhhh. before he leaves for work, after he comes back, in the morning when you wake up, at night before you fall asleep, you name it. neverending forehead kisses, and they’re always so delicate and soft. chivalry isn’t dead because park sungho is still alive!!! when he kisses you on the lips, it’s either a very short peck because he’s in a rush or he makes it last a long time when he’s free to do so. and he loves to take his time. unless you get more desperate first, sungho could easily kiss you for minutes at a time, feeling your soft lips against his even without any tongue. he’d definitely hold your waist as he kisses you, or even your jaw, tilting your head up gently so he has the best access.
LEE SANGHYEOK ミ 이상혁
this cinnamon roll is such a kisses stan. he could be having the worst day ever, but 1 kiss from you suddenly changes everything. he’s honestly addicted, almost as much as his donut addiction. but he’s too shy to ask for kisses most days (unless he’s desperate beyond belief), so he’d stare at you until you take the hint. literally happiest man alive after he’s received kisses, it’s so freaking obvious that the other members just know after a while. he loves when you pepper his entire face with kisses, and of course, he would return the favour. you have a habit of kissing his cheek or top of his head while he’s distracted just scrolling on his phone. he’ll look up at you like you hung the moon in the sky, silently asking for more with just his gaze.
MYUNG JAEHYUN ミ 명재현
jaehyun is so playful when it comes to kisses. he’ll tease you with just a short peck or pull away too fast for your liking, just to have you pulling him back in for more. he knows that once he starts kissing you, you’ll never get enough of it, and he uses this to get a flustered reaction out of you. once he’s giggled and cooed over how cute you are, he will kiss you properly just like you want, savouring the taste of your lips desperately just like you do as well. if he’s just cuddling with you or low energy after a long day, he likes to kiss your neck. it’s relaxing for him to just press small kisses on the skin there, smelling your perfume and letting it soothe him completely.
HAN DONGMIN ミ 한동민
he’s such an introverted and private man, so the only time he’s kissing you is probably behind closed doors skskjs. listen, he’s not willing to run the risk of possibly giving the members something to tease him about for eternity. plus, he’s so romantic with you, but he wants only you to see that side of him. hence, most of the time he kisses you after he’s home from work. he loves to nuzzle his nose against yours, softly giggling amidst kisses with you. it’s so intimate to just hold you close, alternating between soft short kisses and talking. he’ll ask you about your day while he kisses you, leaving you to have to answer him with each word being interrupted by another quick kiss. he’s truly so down bad for you, giggling like a lovesick puppy as he tastes your lips.
KIM DONGHYUN ミ 김동현
leehan is a firm believer that kisses are just as essential as food and water. he will not leave the house without getting his kiss goodbye. he also does an overdramatic “mwah!” whenever he kisses you, laughing if you get embarrassed or roll your eyes at it. or he’d ask you to kiss him, only to jerk his head back when you try to, teasing you by the fact that he’s taller and you can’t reach. he’s so cheesy, but he’s so good at kissing in reality that it drives you insane. whenever he’s actually being serious instead of goofy, his kisses are so passionate that your brain will turn to tv static. and he probably uses a really nice flavour of lip balm too, just to make his lips more inviting, so that you’ll kiss him more.
KIM WOONHAK ミ 김운학
give this boy his kisses and give him lots because otherwise he’ll feel robbed and start complaining and/or get pouty. if you ever refuse to give him a kiss, even if you’re just teasing, he’ll probably think this is the end of the relationship. he’s just so cute and simple. kisses = happy woonhak. no kisses = sad woonhak. he loves nose kisses or any light kiss around his face that tickles. he’s probably way too shy to even hold a kiss on the lips for very long. he tries, but he honestly just gets so flustered from it after a few seconds that he has to pull away. he’s definitely not the best kisser, but he makes up for it with how eager he is. you can tell he’s absolutely obsessed with you and your lips.
↳ boynextdoor taglist (bolded could not be tagged): @rizzshimura,, @captivq,, @icyminghao,, @eternalgyu,, @metalchick529,,
@schmocolateschmchip,, @kpoprhia,, @candewlsy,, @weird-bookworm,, @blossominghunnie,,
@kangtaehyunzzz,, @snowflakemoon3,, @lovialy,, @lecheugo,, @okshu,,
@wccycc,, @seunghancore,, @ujisworld,, @sobun1est,, @emmylksblog,,
@talkingsaxy,, @talking-saxy,, @nicholasluvbot,, @cupidslovearrows,, @dimplewonie,,
@hrtsvivis,, @50-husbands,, @hursheys,, @kristianities
#fics ❀˖°#onedoornet#boynextdoor x reader#bonedo x reader#bnd x reader#boynextdoor imagines#boynextdoor scenarios#boynextdoor fluff#boynextdoor fic#jaehyun x reader#sungho x reader#riwoo x reader#taesan x reader#leehan x reader#woonhak x reader#jaehyun imagines#sungho imagines#riwoo imagines#taesan imagines#leehan imagines#woonhak imagines#myung jaehyun x reader#park sungho x reader#lee sanghyeok x reader#han dongmin x reader#kim donghyun x reader#kim woonhak x reader
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ellie with a mean gf!
(prjoecting like a mf rn...)
a/n - i have been very unmotivated to write full-fleshed stuff so i'm deciding to write drabbles/headcannons for now. also THANK YOU FOR ALL THE ATTENTION ON CH.1 OF GOOD LUCK, BABE! it makes my heart smile that you guys love it so much... also😭😭...: @sweetcici11 srry that i lied and said ur fic would be out a few nights ago. i'm really trying to finish it but i don't want to rush it and it be shitty. i really want it to be enjoyable and as good as it can be. but i PROMISE you it WILL be posted... sooner or later! i also have a few more drafts to finish too, so, i hope you guys like them when they come out!!!!!
content warnings - fluff, i'm a bitch and i want to feel loved and think that someone can put up with my cuntiness😝😝 , over-usage of commas probably, i think they're low-key kind of toxic?!?!?!?! , guys i promise i'm not this bad i've just been pretty insufferable these last few days and need an outlet 😭😭 .
i wrote way more than i thought i was going to...
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- you both hated each other at first. ...well actually, you hated her, and she was like, "😞😞" and then got used to it after a while and started being mean back 2 u!!
- dina introduced ellie to you when you both were hanging out with her. "you guys are going to love each other🥰!" ... you didn't 🤗 !
- ellie said hi to you and all you did was look her up and down, stare at her for a few seconds and then turn your head.
- everytime ellie would (attempt to) strike up a conversation you would give an overtly enthusiastic response or just stare at her like she had two heads or just blatantly ignore her. dina is over there like, '😟😟 . can we not have one good day...' when dina would leave for short periods of time and ellie was sure that you didn't like her, she would just talk about anything to get your blood boiling, our girl lllloooovvveessss to push buttons, we know this to be true.
- it got worse yet more tolerable after that. whenever she'd see you at gatherings or parties, you'd do your damnest to stay away from/avoid her. and she'd do her damnest to get you as upset with her as possible. it always ended with not-so-playful not-so-friendly banter!
- you were talking with jesse about something on the couch, and ellie came over and DELIBERATELY, DELIBERATELY... interrupted you 🤗 ! :
you shoot daggers at her face with your eyes, your jaw set hard and your eyes narrowed.
ellie tried to feign innocence, raising a brow at you after she looked over to see your facial expressions long after she felt them.. "what are you looking at me like that for🤨🤨?" , "i was fucking talking, you're being rude." , "if i have to get used to you being a bitch, you got to do the same." , you just huffed at her response and crossed your arms before walking off a few minutes after, realizing that the conversation you were having with jesse earlier was indeed over. ellie smirked to herself, victory was her's!
- she started calling you the nickname brat out of the blue... it blindsided tf out of you. here's the origin story!:
you look at ellie with a disgusted look on your face as she exhales smoke. her glazed over eyes meet yours before she offers the joint to you, out of genuine kindness. "want a hit?" she asked, forgetting how much of a bitch you were for, like, 0.2 seconds. you glare at her for a moment longer before plastering a sarcastic smile on your face, snatching the joint from her fingertips and dropping it onto the floor. you kept her eyes on yours as you stomped and smushed it into the ground.
now she remembered.
she stood up instantaneously, she was pissed. "what the fuck?!" she shouted, earning a few looks from some friends across the room. they strained their necks for a little bit before they saw you, it made sense now, and then turned back to the conversation.
you close your eyes for a slight second as a satisfied smile graced the corners of your lips. "you know i don't smoke, ellie." you responded with in a condescendingly sweet voice.
she didn't even argue with you. "you're such a fuckin' brat." she muttered under her breath before walking away. you had to try your very best to ignore the heartbeat in your pussy. (🤗!)
- she didn't get to see how much effect that title had on you that night, but she noticed afterwards.
- one time you didn't say anything to ellie during a hangout, distracted by someone you disliked more than her. ellie kind of missed it☹️☹️ .
you were brought out of your thoughts when you felt her cold hand touch your shoulder. when you noticed it was her who was doing it, you pulled back with a furrow of her brows. ellie smiled. there she was.
"you haven't said one mean thing to me since i've gotten here. are you dying?"
you scoffed as you pointed in the direction your anger was radiating from. it was a girl ellie saw here and there in jackson, sometimes she was paired with her during patrols, she wasn't crazy about her but she paid no mind to her existence.
"what?- what does this have to do with me-"
"what it has to do with you, is that you should feel honored that i can tolerate you... can't fuckin' stand that bitch."
ellie scoffed before speaking up once more, "oh, c'mon you're being dramatic. don't be a brat."
your eyes went wide for a second and as you turned away, she could see the cheek that was facing her turn an embarrassing shade of red. she found your weakness.
- when you guys started dating, no one, and i mean NO ONE, believed it. (i don't feel like writing how u two got together maybe if y'all like this enough i'll make a full-fleshed oneshot abt it😭.)
- joel saw you guys together... like, not arguing, and HER head on YOUR shoulder... he thought he got laced with acid for a quick second there... jesse felt like he missed a couple chapters and felt very sad that he hadn't caught onto it quicker... and dina was so proud of herself, "told you, you guys would love each other 😁." she's so smug, I LOVE HER!
- she constantly has to reprimand you like you're a child when you guys are around someone you obviously don't like for whatever reason. once whoever left the room, ellie'll pinch your shoulder or your thigh, whatever skin is on display at the moment, not too hard, just to get you to wince a bit. you'll make a face at her afterwards. "ow, what the fuck was that for ellie?" , "we can talk shit when we get home, don't make a scene🙄." you stress her out sometimes...
- just bcs you guys are together DOES NOT mean your attitude has gone away.
whenever ellie and you have gotten in an argument, you're always being extra sarcastic and EXTRA BITCHY just to get on her nerves.
"baby, have you seen my gun?" she asks you, breaking the silence voluntarily as she's two minutes from being late to patrol.
you don't look up to her, you keep on looking at the pages of an old magazine. "idk ellie, did you check to see if it was shoved up your ass."
she just stands there for a second like this 🧍♀️ , before sighing and walking somewhere else to find it. "i'll fuckin' deal with you later." she mutters under her breath, obviously annoyed. you smirk to yourself as you flip another page.
- she does love, however, that you've gotten gentler with her since the relationship blossomed between you two. very few people (dina and ellie... sometimes jesse.) can get you to stop, and ellie is proud of herself that she could add beast-tamer to the top of her list of many skills and talents.
- sometimes she has to calm you down, sometimes all it takes is a stare in your direction. ... well, it's oftentimes a glare... you're your own woman/person and a relationship will not restrict you from showing off your talents!!!!!
- ellie has to constantly keep you from getting into arguments that could harm you physically. although your craft of bitchery is amazing, you can't fight to save your life.
she'll be pulling you back like an angry barking dog on a leash.
"i could've fucking took h-" , "you overestimate yourself a lot, baby."
#ani's ellie🎀#ellie x dina#ellie x fem reader#ellie x reader#ellie x abby#ellie the last of us#ellabs#ellie williams smut#ellie williams#ellie tlou#dina tlou#dina woodward#tlou art#tlou2#joel tlou#tlou#jesse tlou#dina x reader#dina x fem reader#dina x you#dina x ellie#dina x y/n#joel miller#🎀 ani's writing 🖊📚#abby tlou#abby anderson smut#abby anderson x reader#ellabs x reader#abby anderson#abby anderson fic
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cockwarming art (non sexual) 😫. i feel like he just wants to be close to his girl at all times and he’s so needy about it
❞ ᝰ .ᐟ needy
art donaldson x fem!reader blurb
OOH I LOVE THIS
TW: smut mdni
word count: 205
¡! ❞ a/n: guys i am just living and breathing challengers everything rn so expect so much to come
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sundays were you and art's "lazy days", as tashi had so creatively dubbed. neither of you practiced, and instead just lounged at home almost all day.
this sunday, art woke up desperate for your attention. from the second your eyes fluttered open in the morning, he was hovering over you, peppering you with sloppy kisses and massaging every bit of bare skin he could reach. once he was all done with touching you, he settled on your tits, playing with your hair that was tickling his cheeks. you were rubbing slow circles on his jaw with your thumb, palm cupping his face.
he was desperately trying to get as close as possible to you. "come closer," he whined, forcibly intertwining your legs around his so he could feel the maximum amount of your skin on his.
" 'm as close as i can get, baby," you cooed, ruffling his hair.
he shook his head, eyes still low and tired as he nuzzled further into your chest. "need more."
his constant demands and whiny complains led him lazily slipping his cock inside you, sighing and closing his eyes when your warmth enveloped him. "better?" you asked as he settled back on top of you.
"much better."
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¡! ❞ © niya-writesshit 2024
#art donaldson blurb#art donaldson#art donaldson smut#challengers smut#need that#my man my man my man ommg#art donaldson x reader smut#art donaldson x reader#niya replies !
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https://www.tumblr.com/k0yaz/758473618729615360/arlecchino-x-married-man-reader-please-oh-wait
Pause- this gave me a vision
Good Luck, Babe! by C.R lyric angst fic Arlecchino x Reader 😼
With happy ending tho 🔫
Like Reader married some mf from the male species when her and Arl were younger (18-20) because she was in denial abt her feelings for Arl and married him as a ‘f u, I totally love men’ but even after a few years Arlecchino can still tell she’s MISERABLE
Wait- double the angst and make Reader someone who’s known for being smart, powerful and just super cool in general but her husband is constantly trying to make her be seen as just his wife and never acknowledges any of the amazing things she does ☹️
I told you so.
Pairings: arlecchino x fem!reader
CW: sfw, female reader, modern au, angst, comphet, more than usual swearing, girls kissing bro why is this even a warning it’s obvi, sexism, misogyny, bad husband ewwww, arle’s real name used at the very beginning, mentions of ugly ass guy inappropriately touching without consent ew, arguing, mild violence, fluff at end, not proofread.
A/N: needed to desperately write this my girlkisser ass is in code red rn cause of my parents 💀‼️ ALSO I DONT LIKE HOW THIS CAME OUT IT SUCKS 🕯️
“I don’t! I could never be into girls, Peruere!”
Back flush to the roughened couch, your aching body stretched backwards into a domed arch as your arms flailed out for leverage. Those words you had so foolishly uttered all those years ago echoed over and over in your brain like a broken record, clouding your mind like a plaguing guilt weighing down every waking moment of your life that followed. You let out a defeated sigh, the exhale dragging out longer than it should have to the point where you felt as if your own breath had tickled your lower lip. The small rush of air…it reminded you of when you felt Arlecchino’s breath gently caress the side of your face as her lips hovered over your cheek, her looming frame inching closer and closer to you as you reciprocated.
Everything. Everything reminded you of her.
The crimson lipstick resting atop the bedside table, the intoxicating scent of the perfume she always used to wear—being inhaled so deeply by you to the point where it tickled the tightened crevices of your throat. You’d spray a little on your pillows often as well, the dizzying smell with a hint of fresh roses accompanying the comfort it burned into you, and helping you fall asleep often. After all, sleeping turned into more of a hobby whenever you found yourself sharing a bed with the said “man of your dreams.”
His weight bundled onto the side of the bed situated beside you only sent a pit of sickness bubbling up within you, teeth gritting as you would lay on your side. The silky pillows enveloped your head as your nightgown loosely covered your body, hand slipped below the side of your head as you faced away from your husband. Sleeping with that man was nothing short of a clawing nightmare. Every damn night, you’d uncomfortably writhe within the blankets draped over your shoulders as you silently prayed for him to fall asleep as soon as possible, the wait getting so awful over all these years that you’d always count the digital clock situated atop the bedside table next to your head.
10:01…10:02..10:03..10:04. Finally.
The earliest he’d slept was 10:04. Giving you enough time to get lost in your maelstrom of guilt and ambiguous thoughts piled up within you.
The dotted red glow of the broken numbers displayed on the clock beside you illuminated the corner of your face dimly, eyelids low as you mindlessly gazed at the smooth wood of the table your head almost shifted onto after nearly falling off the pillow. Archons. You fucking miss her. You miss Arlecchino so much it hurts. You wish that you didn’t marry this awful, entitled man child just to prove a point that only consisted of you placing another mask of suffering upon yourself to conceal your truth. A mask that was cracked and easy to see through anyway. His irritating snores continued to buzz along the vicinity of the room, sounding more like a rumbling growl shaking the bed to be frank.
You hated him, to put it simply. You only married him to prove that you couldn’t fall in love with a girl. He was the one that was at the other end of the table with his chin resting on his hand as he gazed at you in a covetous manner, cocky grin pasted onto his vile face. The was the first suitor you thought would accommodate to your delusion.
“(Name) will you marry me?”
Each syllable hung in the air for an extended in a way that made you want to choke, blood rushing to every part of your body to seep into your sunken heart. With a stiff nod, your shaky hand slowly inched forward palm down, veins protruding along the tightened flesh as you fought the urge to hold it back and prevent him from grasping it. Swallowing back a sob, your bottom lip quivered between your teeth as his rugged hand dragged along your skin, tainting it with his unkempt, rough touch. Heads of goosebumps blistered along your hand as the freezing metal circled your ring finger tightly, suffocating your finger between the tight ring like a corset. He didn’t even bother to affirm your size. But you knew full well that she would’ve made sure that ring slipped seamlessly in perfect fit.
The gyrating ceiling fan above you whirled in rapid motions as the cool breeze emitted from it brushed along your skin, all the way up to fluffing your hair. Your eyes remained lifessly tracing the swift afterimages of the fan as you lounged on the couch, not minding your husband’s exasperated complaints piling up one after another with each venomous word he spoke.
“(Name). I told you to make me dinner when I got home from work, so where the hell is it? I’m fucking starving over here you good for nothing whore!”
Your brows furrowed together at his degrading words, face scrunching up with prominent wrinkles of irritation adorning your features. Upper body carefully elevating off the arm of the couch, you brought your palm to your forehead, before pinching the bridge of your nose with a sharp inhale. Silence swallowed the room from your lack of response to his insolent remarks and insults, only cut through by his heavy breathing vibrating against his throat. Clearing your throat finally, you were able to articulate your words in the small window of time you had before he could cut your off once more. Even the mere scratch of clearing your throat felt relieving once he ceased to speak, feeling as if there was a pass way of freedom which released you from the cage of his grasp.
“I’m exhausted. Cook your own dinner, I physically and emotionally can’t do this right now.” You replied coldly, collapsing back down onto the couch into your returned comfort as the fluffy cushions pressed flush against your spine. His face only contorted into anger, slightly reddened like an unstable child rather than a grown man. “You’re my wife. You’re supposed to cook for me! That’s your job not mine!” He bit back, hands folded over his chest and gaze staring daggers into your relaxed form.
Tilting your head over to his upright figure, you simply cocked an eyebrow, staring back at him with heavy lidded eyes as if he was just a mutt ordering you around.
“I’m not only your wife, you know. I’m my own person. I don’t have to cater to everything you want.”
“You know that you’re inferior to me. Ever since we got married that’s how it should’ve been! But no you had to go do your own little thing!”
“Then how should it be? Come on enlighten me.”
Your annoyance began elevating to a boiling point with each little thing he spat at you, every remark of inferiority made you fall further and further into a hole of sorrow and anger as he spoke each revolting “truth” about his twisted views. You couldn’t help but grasp the fabric of the cushion below you forcefully, wrinkling the fabric in every direction with your husband’s endless remarks spilling from his undignified lips.
“And once a woman is married to a man, they become his wife, and his wife only!”
Slamming a hand down onto the couch, you rose to your feet in one quick motion, glaring up at your husband’s wrinkled face of rage. Letting out a quick huff, you only took in the simmer of the broken air conditioner enveloping the silence once more as a means to tranquillize your boiling anger, breathing ragged as your heart rate skyrocketed from everything you bit back through the course of the argument.
“…I’m going to bed.”
“This early? I wanted a night with you (Na-)”
“You’re not fucking getting one.”
You winced slightly, hunching your shoulders as your skin grew hot from discomfort. Closing your eyes, you only braced yourself for the string of unending curses spewing from your husband’s mouth. Simply, you lowered your gaze as everything surrounding you was manually shut out. Mind enveloped in a pitch black void of emptiness, the only noise flicking at your cold ears being the unnerving ticks of a clock.
How much longer would you have to endure this?
The floorboards only sang out a ghastly creaking noise as you set your foot down upon each elevating slab of wood, the faint yet evident noise reminding you of the man below you having his eyes utterly fixated on your every move like a hawk eyeing its next catch. It was nothing short of disturbing and unsettling for you. Slowly, you made your way over to the entrance of your unfortunately shared bedroom, pushing open the heavy door with a fervent shove.
You couldn’t help but finally take in a deep breath as you flopped down onto the bed, body comfortably sinking into the plush of the silk mattress accommodating your exhausted self. Head still continuing to swirl with a wave of unresolved emotions, and a caged feeling confining to gnaw at you endlessly, you reached into your left pocket to whip your phone in front of your face. Rolling over onto your stomach, you thumbed aimlessly through the various contacts rowed out along your glowing screen, scrolling until you found the one you were looking for.
The contact you are calling does not exist.
Shit.
You just stared at Arlecchino’s inactive contact with deadpan, hopeless eyes, blinking twice to process it once more. You truly couldn’t reach her could you? Having lost all hope, you simply set aside your phone as it fell flat onto the wood with a knock, and you rolled yourself onto your back to combat the pure insanity of your fate enveloping you.
“I told you so.”
The already wrinkled bedsheets below you only bundled together further as you swayed onto your back and side alternately, holding the pillow up to your face with a muffled yell. Her words only continued to return to you with every moment you were awake, perhaps even in death your regret wouldn’t cease to eat away at you for locking yourself into this awful pact. Dim slivers of pale light brightened the left half of your face, glowing from the burning lamp on the table as you squinted upon the sudden flood of light blinding you.
The one thing you longed not to hear at this moment was your husband’s footsteps drawing closer and closer to the bedroom, heavily bellowing against the floorboards. Remaining on your side, your arm tightened slightly from the pressure of your torso cushioning it into the mattress, the mattress sinking deep upon your husband making his way beside you on the bed.
“(Name). Turn off that light.” He grumbled. The stinging odor of his excessive cologne only caused you to choke back a retch, gagging from the pungent smell assaulting your nostrils. You merely decided that he wasn’t worth any more trouble, and you remained too exhausted to even snap back at such a childish individual. Slowly, you reached over to clasp the handle of the switch, thumb fitted against the teardrop shaped steel of the end. For a moment you hesitated, gaze flickering behind you for a brief second—only to catch his eyes tracing your every move. In a sudden, burly voice, he cleared his throat to speak to you, tone remaining arrogant around you as if he had authority over you.
“Tomorrow we’re going to some big event with a few rich people here and there, nothing much. Dress nice tomorrow, we leave at 3 pm.”
You scoffed, squinting your eyes back at him while your body remained facing away. Of course. As always he goes and makes decisions for the both of you without even considering your words or plans.
“And you’re telling me this now?” You retorted, cocking an eyebrow while sharp breaths emanated from the man beside you, indicating his loss of patience. Not that he had any to begin with. “I can do what I want, bitch. Try not to embarrass me with your usual displays of arrogance, ‘kay, (Name)? There’s gonna be a couple rich people there.” Rolling your eyes, you only delivered a small nod in response, not wanting anymore trouble especially when you desperately needed some rest. “Yeah.”
Finally, your tugged down onto the cord of the lamp, the pale yellow light dimming and blowing out completely. Your husband was completely knocked out by the time you lowered yourself onto your side, facing away from him. Rumbling snores reverberated throughout the room, ringing in your ears repeatedly as you folded the edges of your pillow over either side of your head in an attempt to block out every noise.
It wasn’t too early in the morning, rather the darkness spread out within the frame of the window accompanied by the low glimmer of light outlining the moon suggested it was sometime in the middle of the night still. Deep quakes of breathing racked the vicinity the moment you took in your surroundings, alerting you awake altogether. Of course. It was him again. Letting out a subtle, quiet groan, you buried your face into your cupped palms, fingertips tracing along the flat of your forehead as you cloaked your face within your hands.
Was this all you were now? Nothing more than his trophy wife just like he wanted?
A light buzz from your phone lit up the device, making its glowing screen noticeable from the corner of your groggy eyes. You leaned over, inspecting the notification you had received so late at night. There was a single gray bar with the calendar icon in a box to the left of it, the lines: “Rich people dinner at 3” displayed along the margins of the bar. Great. Not only does he set notifications on your phone without asking, but he also doesn’t even formally address the dinner. You simply sighed, breath shaky as you constantly found yourself struggling to come to terms with your current reality clawing at you.
—
“(Name) come on! We’re gonna be late and the fancy pricks’ll look at us like we’re broke!”
You scrunched up your upon hearing him calling you like a barbarian, your dress halfway hitched up to make a few adjustments for a good fit. Loud bangs against the door only heightened your brewing annoyance, causing you to manually drown out his calls as another screeching white noise in the background. The silk of the dress tightly fitted your figure, framing every inch of you and hugging each blooming curve of your body. You hunched your shoulder forward, turning to your side to inspect the dress as a smile crossed your face. For once you felt quite confident in yourself rather than sulking about your husbands antics.
It didn’t take long for you to suddenly be snapped out of your daze as the and of the door swung open against the wall, revealing your husband with his arms folded in the doorway. You nearly choked on your own breath, coughing in shock as the sudden thud of wood banging against the wall had startled you, making your body jolt.
“Well, you look like a snack don’t you?” He sneered, causing you to instinctively brush your hands along your elbows as you folded your arms, physically recoiling from his forward advances. You thumbed at the fabric anxiously, sucking in a breath of fearful anticipation with each step he took. That was until his arm grasped at the dip of your waist tightly, fingers digging in as if he wasn’t going to let you go. There wasn’t much you could do besides hold your breath as you felt yourself being pulled against him, perturbation screaming at every single mental alarm, every possible sense you had before yanking away from him to fix the front of your dress.
“Please. Enough. You said we’ll be late, right?”
He only flashed you a grin, taking your hand in his, which you almost immediately yanked away from.
“Yeah. Get in the car. Remember no smartass remarks. And if anyone asks, you’re my wife. Nothing more.”
You averted your gaze at his statement, only walking over to the door of the sleek rental car before climbing into the back seat. No way you were about to get into the passenger seat next to him. Once you seated yourself into the back against the smooth leather, you proceeded to draw in the remaining droops of fabric your dress hung out of the car before shutting the door and leaning back into the head rest.
The ride felt like it was driving past various roads and buildings for hours, each time you gazed out the window to see a tree flash by quickly feeling as if it had been a century since you had first gotten into the car. However, you found yourself lazily parked—courtesy of your husband—before a opulent hall towering above you and lit up brightly despite the sun peeking behind the clouds in the afternoon. Two large doors framed the opening carved around the center, adorned with outlines of black steel, and large knockers stuck on the inner part of the door frame. A lanky man in a suit stood upright beside the parted door, arms tucked behind his back as his eyes scanned each person who made their way in and out of the building hall.
You exited the confines of the car, ducking your head to avoid hitting it along the roof before standing straight and closing the car door behind you. Your husband only shoved your shoulder in response, grasping your wrist as he dragged you along with him with haste before the doors. You didn’t even bother to protest, and flashed the guard a weak smile as your heels dragged along the rolled out carpet leading into the hall. Just get this over with. You’ll be fine.
He finally released your hand carelessly, not paying any mind to you while you shook your wrist and blew on it to subside the effects of his tight grasp. The chandelier decorated with candles rocked back and forth above your head, while various bars and tables stocked with food and drinks furnished every corner of the hall. Along with that, a large screen flashed at the very front of the hall blared loudly along with the speakers situated on both sides of the screen.
—
The entire event had been nothing but a bore. Rich man after rich man bragging about his company which he knew nothing about. The people who came up to you and your husband when you both were standing by each other attempting to converse with the two of you, and inquire more about you, were only met with your husband’s constant boasts about how you were merely his wife. Your achievements were his too, and therefore he was the one credited. This only led up to you isolating from him, and practically everyone at the party, drowning your sorrows away in glass after glass of champagne. Thankfully, your high alcohol tolerance allowed you to remain appearing sober, only needing to tighten your hand around the table for support occasionally.
Heavy lidded, you brought another glass to your lips as you tilted your head back in one jerk, gulping down the alcoholic beverage and squeezing your eyes shut. You let out a quiet hum as you set down the glass on the table behind you, dragging along the table cover as you examined the vicinity through droopy eyes. The same. Everyone was just wearing suits and that god awful smug expression. You simply rubbed your forehead, stress lines forming along your skin as your massaged it.
That was until a dashing figure caught your eye. Someone familiar.
You squinted your eyes once more, catching a single streak of black hair blended into white, a thin ponytail trailing down her nape to the back of her white suit. At this point, you were sure the drinks had definitely done something to you. You just missed her so much you were going insane and hallucinating like a typical drunkard. Yet, you couldn’t mistake that piercing gaze—near glowing red crosses embedded into her pitch black pupils within heavy eyes.
Despite still being drunk, you shouldered through the crowd, halting upon reaching the circle of people crowding the alluring woman who held a glass of wine between her sharp, black faded fingertips. Her crimson lipstick glistened as a hint of wine smeared across it, expression remaining indifferent to the heaps of people surrounding her while she leaned onto the table. You couldn’t believe your eyes. It really was her.
Arlecchino. Where have you been this whole time?
Steep breaths caught in your throat, you pushed past the crowd, stumbling occasionally and not minding their complaints. You wanted to do so much. Cry, hug her, apologize, run away from your caged marriage, talk to her, catch up—everything. She simply turned her back to the crowd before you could even reach a viable proximity near her, stepping away to a more secluded location. Your heart sank as you began to lose sight of her, gaze fixated on her white suit with the emblem in the center of her chest as you continued to keep your eyes on her in the crowd no matter what.
You paved through each bundle of people blocking your path, staggering occasionally due to your own drunkenness as you finally caught sight of Arlecchino leaned against a polished wall near a table, eyes fluttered shut as she sipped her refined glass of red wine. Breathing heavily, you staggered over to her, resting yourself at her side before slowly trailing your sights up to her face with bleary eyes and a near pleading expression.
“Arle..?”
She only cocked an eyebrow in response, staring down at you with a cold gaze lacking recognition. “Do I know you?”
Hurt burned in your throat as you fought not to cry upon hearing those words from Arlecchino’s lips, your own bottom lip being dragged between your teeth to prevent making its fervent trembling noticeable.
“Arle, it’s me, please.” You choked out, placing a hand on your chest while panting heavily as you locked eyes with hers. “It’s me, (Name)..” you mumbled under your breath in a shaky voice, tears threatening to sting the corner of your eyes at any given moment. Arlecchino suddenly set down her glass, coming face to face with you before her own eyes widened at your familiar features.
“Ah. It really is you isn’t it?”
Although her tone remained calm and collected, it wasn’t hard to tell how her voice softened for you, growing sweet like nectar dripping from her crimson lips. You nearly sobbed upon feeling her hand gently brush along your cheek, your own hand resting atop hers as you leaned into her touch, trembling. You could barely articulate what you wanted to say, each word coming in short breaths as droplets of tears pricked at your eyes subtly.
“My darling. You haven’t changed much. Still as beautiful as the day I met you…” her thumb circled the skin of your cheek, eyes roaming down to the same crimson lipstick she used decorating your own lips. “…and the day you departed from me.”
“Arle- I’m so sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you then! I can’t live like this any longer! I can’t! I knew it was you ever since I didn’t listen to what my feelings told me! Please! I love you, Peruere!” You gasped out desperately in one breath in a near sob, clinging onto Arlecchino like a lifeline as you grasped at the fabric of her coat. She only let out a soft hum, resting her chin onto your head as she took in your scent. You were wearing her perfume. Soothingly, her fingertips traced a repetitive pattern of comforting circles along your back, something she always did when you both were in your youth to calm you down.
“(Name). I’ve never once lost my feelings for you. I love you. And you only. I’m just, pleased that I get to see you again.” She sighed, burying her nose into your soft tufts of hair at the top of your head as she hugged you. She hemmed her arms around your vulnerable form holding her tightly, almost like a promise to never let you go again, to protect you from any harm that dared cross your path. Wiping your eyes, you cleared your throat as you pulled away from your moment of weakness, standing straight before Arlecchino as your palms nervously clasped together in front of you.
“Tell me, how awful is he to the point where he broke you like this..?”
“Terrible. Straight from hell if I could say. I’m stuck. I’m so fucking stuck you don’t even know.”
“I see.”
She paused, proceeding to say her next words.
“Would you reprimand me if I said once more that I told you so?”
You shook your head, contrasting the initial reaction you had when you first lashed out at her all those years ago.
“Nope. I’d affirm that you were right. I shouldn’t have complied with what society wants if it means I have to suffer.” You replied, gritting your teeth together as you looked away in shame. Arlecchino only placed a hand on your shoulder, running her arm down the curve of your shoulder as her sleek hands traveled down the flushed skin of your arm. “You would always get warm like this when I touched you.” She reminisced, letting out an exhale of contentment.
All of a sudden, the comfort of the moment was shattered by your husband’s voice, slicing through the tranquility harbored between you and her mere moments ago.
“Ah! (Name)! Who’s this? A friend?”
He eagerly shook her hand, while Arlecchino’s gaze grew resentful and repulsed of the man before her, her own hand clasped around his with every ounce of hatred she possessed. Brows furrowing, she immediately pulled her hand back, manner remaining distinctive, yet subtly aggressive.
“Ah, you may talk to me now in fact. This woman is my wife! And she’s just my wife don’t worry about it. Anything she told you is my achiev-“
“Shut your fucking mouth. Before I shut it for you—nauseating son of a bitch.” She replied harshly, eyes locked on him with nothing but murderous intent.
“Don’t speak to me that way you slut-!”
He was cut off by Arlecchino’s firm grasp on his wrist, nails digging into his flesh barely. Although—her mere strength alone was enough to nearly shatter his wrist, making him cry out for mercy and forgiveness from the woman looking down upon him. Fear clouded his eyes for the first time you had ever seen as Arlecchino looked him in the eye, his pupils shaking from anticipation and fear. “Refrain from speaking about her like that, or treating her poorly. If I find out about your disgusting antics again I’ll personally tear you apart limb by limb, understood?”
Before he could respond, she tossed him aside like a ragdoll as he gripped his arm in agony lip quivering at the searing pain ripping at the aftermath of his wrist. In the meantime, you felt Arlecchino’s lips brush against your ear, staining the shell a light blood red color as she whispered softly.
“May I?”
You smiled genuinely for the first time in years, nodding as you felt her warm breath caress the side of your face once more. God, you missed that feeling. Her arm circled the wide ends of your waist, pulling you tightly against her as she held you close under her watchful eye. It was simple. She’d never leave you again.
—
“Peruere..since when did you even get such a nice modern home like this? I’d die to live here.”
She breathed out a quiet laugh, tidying up an area quickly with her back turned to you as she stood in her nightly wear. “No need. You will be living here if you’d like, darling.” She glanced over her shoulder at your form splayed out on the mattress, comfortably hugging the pillow to your chest. It was evident that you’d never felt this safe or happy in quite some time. She put down the cup she was rearranging near an odd table in her room, seating herself on the bed as she motioned you to come closer. A light chuckle escaped her lips as you complied, shifting close into her arms comfortably as you basked in her warmth.
“What about my husband?”
“What about him?”
“Well- I am still married to him. I’m legally still stuck.”
Laying back, Arlecchino just exhaled in response, threading her slender fingers through your hair.
“I will get you out. Trust me. For now, just rest how I wanted us to. You have a lot of love you missed out on, and I’m here to help us catch up on that.”
You sighed peacefully against her at those words, curling up at her side as you nuzzled into her. For the first time, you could sleep peacefully with a weight beside you. This was all you had wanted. Safely enveloped in Arlecchino’s embrace, being able to bask in tranquility and solace with the woman you loved as you sought an escape from the cruel torment of your husband.
Perhaps it all worked out in the end.
No.
It did work out in the end, as you slumbered in your beloved’s arms.
A/N: HOLY SHIET THERES SO MUCH I WANNA SAY
first of all tysm for 1k followers I genuinely appreciate all the support and I hope my writing has improved over the course of the past year and a half or so!
Second guess who’s alive again yay but writing is a little rusty
Third I am in fact going thru a little internal struggle atm so if my works are a bit late or kinda ass bear with me please 😭‼️
Other than that ily all I love how the second half of this turned out and yeah 🕯️
I’m kinda cold ngl
#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#wlw#genshin writing#alrecchino#arlecchino#arlecchino genshin impact#arlechinno x reader#arlecchino genshin x reader#genshin arlecchino#arlecchino genshin#genshin impact arlecchino#arlechinno genshin#arlecchino x reader#arlecchinno x reader#arlecchino fluff#arleccino genshin#genshin wlw#arlecchino x female reader#arlecchino angst#genshin arlecchino x reader#arlecchino x#arlecchino x you#arlecchino x y/n#arlecchino x reader angst#wlw angst
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