#it feels like I’m dealing w/ a teenager tbh. but I also understand her approach to things is thru emotion and not logic. complicated

[sapphirewolf100]

Let go me...

[mattsunie]

murdered seoul. (series)

“𝐢𝐦 𝐬𝐨 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬”

GROUP: Nct

ANALYSIS: In which a group of teenagers are determined to solve a case involving an infamous serial killer.

GENRE: Horror, mystery, thriller, angst.

WARNING(S): Kinda gorey? Unrevised.

WORD COUNT: 1k+

A. NOTE: This was originally posted on wattpad by me but I felt like wattpad wouldnt appreciate it tbh. Also, it’s been a while since I’ve posted something. I hope you guys like this series. Please look forward to it! Give me ur feedback pls I can take criticism I swear.

PART 1

Contrary to popular belief, not all teenagers hated Mondays. Not all teenagers hated going to school and having to deal with crowded halls, obnoxious & unnecessarily loud students, and waking up early.

No, Jisung Park loved Mondays. He loved seeing his friends after the seemingly long weekend and he loved seeing the teachers he was close with. Chenle would be the first to notice him approaching in the morning, yelling at him to hurry his ass up. Jisung had always been the last person to arrive in his friend group, which would then lead to him getting a nuggie from each one of his friends. His once neat hair always ended up being a mess with stray hair pieces all over the place.

School for Jisung Park meant being around people he loved. School for Jisung Park had been an escape for him. An escape from his parents constantly arguing. So every time he parted ways with his friends at the end of the day, he walked home slowly to avoid staying at home more than he already had to.

That night was no different. Other than the fact that he was going home later than usual as he stayed after school for soccer practice. Despite the night overcoming the city, despite the awfully quiet streets of the backroads he took, despite the lack of people around him, Jisung continued to walk slowly home. That night, Jisung couldn't care less about his safety. All he wanted was to not go home. His parents were fighting more than usual, and frankly, he didn't want to hear it anymore. He was tired. So he didn't notice the footsteps that had followed him, he didn't feel the eyes that bore into the back of his head, nor did he notice the harsh breathing behind him.

And once the knife had sliced vertically on his neck, cutting open his larynx all the way down to his trachea, it had been too late. The last thing Jisung Park saw that night was the full moon that overlooked Seoul. When did the moon become so pretty?

....

Yuta groaned and rolled his head back inbetween his shoulders as fatigue overcame him. The coffee he mixed with five hour energy was definitely not doing him justice for his graveyard shift at the police station. It was two in the morning and all he wanted to do was sleep. His eyes shifted over to the glass front doors, watching the droplets of rain slide down.

"When the hell did it start to rain?" He muttered to himself and stretched his arms behind his back.

"Dunno, seems like it came out of nowhere honestly." Jaehyun replied as he leaned against Yuta's desk with his left hand as he sipped coffee with his other. He shifted his police badge, which rested on his right chest, and sighed.

"It's summer, this is ridiculous. This right here is an example of climate change." Taeil comments from the front desk and leaned against his rolling chair, 'tsking' away.

"Okay, boomer." Yuta snidely remarked.

"That right there is a false allegation because boomers don't believe in climate change, try again Nakamoto." Taeil grumbled and crossed his arms.

"Whatever, know it all," Yuta shrugged and stood up.

"Where you goin'?" Jaehyun asked the rather tall man who sported a man bun.

"To pee. Why? Wanna join, Jung?" Yuta smirked and chuckled at his own snarky comment.

Before Jaehyun could reply with his own comeback, the phone rang suddenly, causing the three men to jump in surprise. Truth be told, this scared the men. Despite them being in Seoul一an awfully large and urban city一they barely received night calls from their district. Due to them being surprised, there was a moment of silence in the police station of the Nowon-gu district, the only sound being the ringing of the phone.

“Well answer it, Taeil!" Yuta shouted at the man who had frozen up at the front desk.

As if he snapped back into reality, he clumsily reached for the phone that sit beside his computer, and picked it up.

"Nowon-gu police station一" He stopped abruptly as the yells(which were loud enough for the two other police officers to hear) came through the phone. "Ma'am please, I can't understand you when一 Yes... Yes.. Can you tell me the address?" Taeil then had grabbed a nearby pen and a random paper near him and began scribbling the address down. "We'll be there soon, ma'am."

Taeil hung up the phone and quickly stood up from his chair. As he put on his vest he turns to his colleagues, "A teenage boy is missing. Jaehyun, come with me. Yuta, watch the station."

“Yes, sir." Jaehyun said quietly and followed Taeil to the police car. Before closing the glass doors behind him he turns to Yuta, "Call the Chief."

....

Jisung's mom was hysterical. She couldn't even breath correctly; so much so that she nearly passed out as she explained to the two police men in front of her the situation.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need you to calm down, please." Taeil assured her and put his hand on her shoulder. "Or else we won't be able to help you."

The woman breathes slow yet jagged breaths and grips her left arm tightly. "W-well... I- Where the fuck do I even fucking start my little boy is missing!" She cries out.

A man, who the two police men assume to be her husband, jogs over past now crowded area and sets a hand on her shoulder. "Jisoo, I'll talk with them."

As she left, the man had turned his attention to the two officers and rubbed his temples and sighed. "My name is Minsung Park," he introduced himself. He hesitated as he collected his thoughts. "My son... Jisung... He usually gets home late and goes straight to his room. My wife and I... Well, we were too busy fighting to notice that..." The man scoffed angrily. "We were too busy fighting to check on him. Jisoo-my wife, she has trouble sleeping. She went to check on Jisung, you know? How parents just check if their kid is sleeping and shit. That's when she didn't see... He wasn't there."

“Did you check with his friends or his friends' parents? Maybe he's just sleeping over?" Jaehyun asked the man after he took notes.

"They would've told us if he was," Minsung answered quickly and pulled at his hair. "He-he had soccer practice today until six. He always went home right after—always." His eyes begin to water and before he knows it, Minsung Park is sobbing with grief. With regret. Regret for not spending enough time with his only son. With his only child. "G-God!" He exclaims as he grips at his hair. "I should've been there for him more.." Taeil locks eyes with Jaehyun, as he spots another police car arriving at the scene, and nods.

Jaehyun led Minsung away with a hand rested on his upper back, rubbing it in a reassuring manner.

"Chief Kun." Taeil greeted his colleague as he got out of his car.

"Taeil." He replied as his eyes scanned the scene. Before Taeil is able to explain the situation, Kun spoke in stoically. "Missing teen? Could just be a runaway, you know."

"But chief, I have a feeling this isn't-"

"Don't let your past influence this case, Moon." Kun interrupted him, his tone cold. "Understand?"

"Yes, Chief." Taeil muttered and looked at his feet. Taeil didn't realize his tightened fists beside his sides but released them. He heard Kun's footsteps walking away from him and Taeil finally looked up and closed his eyes. He strained his neck up so he was facing the sky and sighed as he opened his eyes slowly, his gaze finding its way to the full moon in the night sky.

A full moon. Just like that night.

PART 2

[figula]

yesterday went from being mundanely grim in an internal, mental illness-focused way to being quite refreshingly bad in a very external way in the space of about an hour

i had therapy, which was fine - i like her, i think it takes time to build a patient-therapist relationship and to figure out what exactly the most efficient course of action is, and atm it’s talking-focused, rather than what i’ve had before - CBT - which is quite goal-oriented? i think they both serve different purposes but i think bc my difficulties aren’t JUST ocd, which is well-served by CBT for sure, that a more holistic approach is better at least for now

anyway: i had therapy; as i said, it was fine, but by dint of it being therapy it also was not enjoyable, and i came out feeling, as is typical, worn out and a bit flat

five minutes out i got a phonecall from my mum in tears asking me to call my sister bc she’s refusing to come home and crying in the college toilets. this was galling for several reasons - the fact i needed to decompress after therapy, obviously - but also bc she knows i’ve been having a rough few weeks and still felt it was appropriate to put this massive emotional burden on me? when i can’t really do anything about it? she was saying ‘i think it is time for her to find somewhere else to live’ and stuff and i was like, welp, fuck, alright

like, whatever, i guess - i called my sister, she didn’t pick up, so i texted her like ‘obviously you have to go home just. go home.’ lmao 

i’ve talked about my sister on here before - she makes a lot of horrific choices but she’s only a teenager still and the relationship breakdown btwn her and my mum is really not all on her, at all, it’s a pretty even split imo - a lot of it is due to personality types that just do not mesh well, i think, but my mum will not accept any part in it

but nyway: i was surprised at the maturity of her responses tbh - i expected a lot worse 

samples:

‘i know i don’t deal with it in the best way but i cannot stand the way she repeats things over and over and gets an idea in her head and that’s it. she gets weird about me going anywhere, i haven’t been allowed to have any of my friends round since grandad moved in. i know she has a lot to deal with and i understand that but really she is just so so stubborn like i can’t deal with it it’s like banging your head against a brick wall over and over and over again because nothing at all goes in her head once she is set. 

i know she doesn’t mean any harm but it’s exhausting when she does things like that but then somehow everything is my fault and as far as she’s concerne dnothing she does is wrong at all like you can’t talk to her about it. i know i can be horrible but it’s just getting really wearing when i’m 18 and can’t do nything myself. and she’ll be like ‘show some indepedence’ but what she really means is ‘do things exactly how i want you to do them’. 

that therapist in hove suggested family therapy and i was well up for it and it was v disappointing when she was scoffing at the idea.’ 

there was more, but that’s kinda the gist, and like - god, despite all her faults, and there are so many, and she knows i think this, she’s right about all of this, she’s right about everything, something is wired wrong inside our mum’s head. when family therapy is suggested and the supposed wayward not-giving-a-shit 18 yo daughter leaps at the idea and the parent in the situation says ‘no. we’re doing fine on our own’ despite the fact that she clearly, CLEARLY is not, it made me quite pissed off at the time actually and i’m even more angry about it now that my sister, months later, is clearly still hurt over the missed opportunity to improve their relationship!! 

i phoned home an hour or two later with the intention to talk to my mum properly about the situation but - again proving how right my sister is - it all went to shit the moment i said her relationship w/ my sister is ‘horrific’ (which. it is. like literally an hour previously it had been ‘she must leave this house’!!) and she immediately got hugely angry and defensive and shut down the conversation entirely - which got me really upset! understandably i think?! she was treating me like an absolute idiot for taking the situation seriously - and again, an hour previously my mum had been talking quite decisively about my sister moving out - i essentially burst into tears and told her that i have always done everything she wanted me to re: my sister, that i have called her when she asked, that i was the one brought into this situation in the first place! and now she has the gall to get angry with me for checking in and trying to help - when the help WAS asked for in the first place!

she lied to my face about the conversation we’d had on the phone. i was like ‘you called me crying -’ and she cut me off and said ‘i wasn’t crying.’ reader, she was crying. like. she was crying. why lie? literally why lie? we were both THERE. we both know she was crying. at that point i got even more enraged and kept asking her why she was lying to me over this meaningless point but she had no answer; she moved on the conversation to asking me about my day, how i am, how’s my life, how’s the cat - in this cold, removed tone that means she’s really pissed. and i was just like answering the questions! because what else can i do? i am also kind of scuppered by the fact i literally cannot hang up the phone lmao there’s some kind of issue w/ my phone in that it freezes when i’m on a voice call so i have to just wait for the other person to hang up LOL. so i kind of just had to take it!!

the whole thing just made me feel really sad. i don’t think she values my input or opinion. i don’t think she values anyone’s opinion. i think she wanted me to make her life easier wrt my sister (who is still home - it has all blown over, i think bc my mum just decided it had blown over). 

my sister sent this later: ‘she suggested that they basically send me away to live with [our aunt] and it’s just like funny how she thinks the solution is to send me away rather than actually attempt to fix what is going on.’ again she’s so right, but attempting to fix the broken relationship (which as we’ve seen she will seriously not even acknowledge) will inevitably involve some self-reflection and honestly at this point i don’t think she’s capable of it. or she doesn’t want to. the end result is the same: it’s not going to happen

my sister can come and stay here for short periods of time but moving here isn’t an option. she’s not going to uni this year (which is good imo - she’s not ready i don’t think) and she has really no option than to keep living there

[smartchicken]

Hi I show up every time you post which is haha, so funny, but I just wanna know if you've figured out that I'm a desperate bitch yet and if not, I'm a desperate bitch and I like your stuff. You're cool (also what're your thoughts on a road trip AU featuring young!Tony with a lot of trauma under his belt alongside honourably discharged Bucky who's forgotten how to live but they meet in the middle and it becomes a little easier to breathe)

-chokes-Oh manFirst off, i really would like to encourage people to just randomly describe themselves in my inbox.SECOND this is the first time I've replied to an ask with the mobile app and i don't understand why it's not automatically double spaced, it's really fucking with me, but I'm about as likely to do something about it as i am to tell my phone to auto-capitalize "i". I just Don't CareTHIRDLYROADTRIPokay first off I've had a very few good roadtrips and only one was "Long" (~18 hours) BUT i have great stories from those and now i am picturing not only a young Tony maybe on the run or just trying not to be home, and poor Bucky who got an honorable discharge but got fucked over because that's the American way, but all the avengers because the best roadtrip is when there's two cars and by about halfway through you're straight up enemiesSo like, car 1: Rhodey, Nat, Pepper, Bucky, and Tony. Car 2: Steve, Clint, Phil, and Sam. Because those are who i currently feel like giving a fuck about. Car 1 starts with a disadvantage because 5 people in one car always sucks but like, ride or die bitchesSo I'm sort of imagining this as BlackPepper combining their friendgroups in a fucking into the fire way like sink or swim love each other or else. Because it's that or awkward lunches for six months and they clearly don't have the time for that. I assume there is plotting going on because we all know it plotting redheads, but they probably lost control of the situation at one point because roadtripLike I'm imagining a college au so get in that mindset. I feel like Pepper immediately put her foot down about Tony, who's the only teenager there even though he acts like an old man. Pepper is just like okay Tony HAS to be with me or Rhodey at all times or I'll fuck everyone up Nat i stg i will kill your friends to death if they look strongly at my precious baby and Nat looks a this stubborn little asshole who is at once fearless and terrified and she's like, fair enoughBut Bucky, right? I know I'm a Tony fangirl but I'm not forgetting about Bucky. Cause Bucky went into the army at 18 and he came back three years later a different person. Steve didn't go with because a) he's a twiggy artist and b) Sarah would have murdered him after she destroyed the entire us military tbh. Bucky's a freshman, the only one in the group even though he's older than most of them. He's been back for like 6 months now and probably shouldn't even be dealing with college life but he's Bucky and lbr he's not gonna cut himself any slack. But by golly his friends love him and will absolutely fight everyone for him, even himself. So while Pepper's like "protect my son" Nat is like okay let's try to make sure Bucky's with Steve because they're kinda codependent but we're letting that happen for now because we have bigger fish to fry, but on the dl because currently Bucky won't admit to any issues under penalty of death.So day of the roadtrip. I dunno where they're going probably tourist shit they're just like get in the car we'll head for such and such and go from there. My only frame of reference here is Florida so I'm picturing them having to drive at least five hours before they have any reason to stop.Oh! Yes so first stop is gonna be a spring or river or some sort of water shitSoGetting ready to go is Hell they have to fit enough shit for nine people into two regular sized trunks. So they've gotta clean literally everything but the spare tire outta those("Fuck it, leave the tire," Clint suggests. He's packed all of a backpack and, incomprehensibly, his bow with three arrows and he's absolutely going to reek in about two days and probably didn't bring any shampoo or a toothbrush. It's probably like, a t-shirt, some boxers, and swim trunks. He'll wear the same shorts for a month he doesn't care. "If we get stuck on the side of tree road, I'll feed you to buzzards for sport," Pepper says pleasantly. She knows him a little better than most of Nat's friends because her and Clint half live together. They get along fine but Pepper progressed to threats much quicker than Clint is comfortable with. He thought about telling her it was hot but decided he liked his balls intact. "Just shove over the duffle," Bucky said. Tony's being quiet but he's got a toolkit packed in case anything goes wrong; there'll be no stuck-on-the-roadside on his watch. )So they get the trunks sorted and there's a couple bags in the backseats but it's good enough. Then Phil shows up (when did he leave???) and stuffs some blankets and pillows into both cars. "My family likes roadtrips," he says. His eyes are dead. Phil is not including himself in his family here. Phil tried to beg off but Pepper couldn't get Happy and Nat couldn't get Scott etc etc for various missing people and Phil agrees to come because, ultimately, these socially-challenged morons need a voice of reason and that's not Pepper or Nat OR Sam, no matter what they think(The truth is they're all reckless idiots and Phil's no exception but combined they can keep each other safe-ish or at least get in trouble together)((Tony didn't want to come either but more because he doesn't want to get underfoot. But Rhodey and Pepper made the mistake of trusting his "I'm fine" and leaving him alone for a few weeks at school exactly once. Pepper had hugged him and said "Pretty please?" and Tony's no good at turning down requests, especially from his few, beloved friends))(((Nat took a different approach with Bucky, who didn't want to come either. "If you don't come Steve won't come and then you'll have to say at Steve and Sam's wedding that it was delayed all because you skipped out on the best roadtrip ever.""It is going to be awful," Bucky said. Nat gave a particularly Russian shrug. Bucky sighed and gave in. He didn't exactly wanna spend a week in the dorms alone anyway.)))And then they really just wanna get going what the fuck guys it's already evening should we just wait til morning no fucking way shut your mouth we're going n o wPepper and Nat manage to be together, and they manage to pay Tony and Bucky special attention, as intended. But uh. Oops?It's Rhodey driving with Pepperi the passenger seat, mostly out of habit; they've done short road trips a lot at this point and it's always Rhodey driving to start, Pepper up front so Tony can nap in the backBut uhTony's in the middle in the back, with a pillow and a tablet in his lap. He's putting on a good show of being Totally Fine, but he's clearly tense. Bucky's smooshed against the door as much ash can, broadcasting discomfort like a cat in the rain. Nat leans against the door too, trying to be considerate, but Pepper starts texting her urgently( TOUCH HIM!!!!!hes so tense wtfNat I love you trust me and touch him a littleAnd Nat shifts over just a bit, so her legs are against Tony's, and for a second he freezes, and then he finally loses some of that tensionTOUCH STARVED?????? Nat texts Pepper, alarmed for this kid.His dad sucks, is Pepper's take, and Nat scowls and gets comfortable, pointedly touching Tony without pushing into his space.)MEANWHILE Phil is the odd man out but he's driving so it kinda works. Clint's in the passenger seat because Clint is a no good dirty cheater, and also has very stern, specific instructions from Nat. Steve and Sam are the most comfortable of the entire group, and within an hour they've got their feet a little tangled, not cuddling but not-not cuddling, and Steve's dosing a little cause he took a motion sickness thing and it always makes him a little sleepy"So Pepper seems terrifying," Clint says to Phil as an opener. They probably should've hung out at least a little before this because Pepper and Nat are the only things he can think of to talk about (and maybe it's not helping that Phil is weirdly hot and serious and he's seen him smile a couple times and he's trying to figure out how to see it up close but it turns out it's not hard cause right away Phil grins and chuckles a little and Clint thinks he's maybe having a heart attack)"So does Natasha. Or is it just Nat?""Sometimes it's Natalia," Clint says automatically, which isn't very helpful. "Uh. What are you studying?" Which is stupid and cliche but Phil manages to turn it into an actual conversation and in the backseat Sam's texting the whole thing to Bucky, who keeps sending back strings of emojis that aren't always sensible but like, Sam totally gets it. And then Sam gets a text of the top of a head of messy dark brown curls and a string of panicking emojis. There's a suspicious blushing emoji in there though and Sam snickers to himself. Steve wakes up with a little "hm?" which is too cute for words so Sam just passes him the phoneTony started off working on his tablet but he hasn't slept in...a while and he's been stressing about this but now he's in Rhodey's familiar car and Pepper's got classic rock going kinda quiet and Nat snuck her toes under his leg and he fights it for a while, but eventually he slumps over, and he doesn't even notice himself sliding towards the warmth that smells like machine oil and leather. Tony looks small and sweet and quiet and Bucky likes to watch him sometimes, when he can, even though he feels like a creep. It's just that Tony seems so alive in a way that Bucky can't really capture. Like he's so tired but so full of life and fire and maybe that's optimism he's not sure but he thinks it might be. Everyone always seems tired on campus, or young and stupid, or just so unrelatable. And it's not that he can relate to Tony so much as he wishes he could. Like watching the moon in the surface of a lake and being afraid of the ripples. Bucky slowly relaxes, lulled into it by Tony's quiet breathing, and Nat gives him a very obvious thumbs up, with a certain look in her eyes, and he catches Rhodey's eye in the rearview mirror, so he slides down a little, slowand quiet, tucks an arm around Tony and lets himself relax, puts down three phone and stares out the windowThey stop at an all-night walmart when Clint suddenly realizes they don't have SUPPLIESWATER SUPPLIES!!!Bucky and Tony go in, with Clint and Phil, to get Supplies, while everyone else stretches their legs or texts demands for snacks.They grab a bunch of stuff, everything that looks even mildly amusing, Tony sleep-fuzzy and relaxed from it, and in line him and Clint attack each other with pool noodles, earning a few glares from other shoppers, but they're laughing too!much to care. There's not really room in the cars for everything but they make it work and they're all wide awake then, everyone chattering for the last two hours before they realize they should've arrived by now and then Rhodey stops (he was the one leading) and there's dogs barking and they're in a trailer park andPhil calls him just to ask, "What the fuck Rhodes."They all get out their phones and they're yelling directions at Rhodey and they're lucky he loves them because seriously they deserve death at this point. They pull up to the park at 5am when they should've been there at, oh, 1 or so no one's sure how they got so turned around but they made it yaaayAnd then "Fuck," Pepper says. "Tents."And that's where I'm leaving this for now cause I'm tired of typing on mobile but tbh i wanna write a college roadtrip now. I'm just imagining a lot of cuddles at this point everyone gets maximum hugs plz. Also i can't tag this??? So thanks mobile