#it doesn't really matter if the answer is yes or no

[miange1]

donnie darko slightly pushing male reader into having their first time together?!? manipulating him until he craves it just as bad as him now

DONNIE DARKO

male reader, bottom reader, reader isn't a virgin he just hasn't had peen up his booty, manipulation, say gex, sum like that, nervousness, donnie doesn't know what he's doing either, anal sex, rough but soft, linkin park is so yummy, donnie is addicted to sex, persuading with actions rather than words, donnie does NOT know how to fuck but figures it out later

he was nervous, fidgeting the whole day and glancing at you much more often. he felt some sort of weight on his shoulders, he just needed to get it off and if he never told you what was the matter it would never happen would it?

"donnie." you looked over at him, your finger pressing at the TV remote to turn it down. "hm." he looked over at you, eyes roaming over your body by instinct. "don't 'hm' me. you've been creeping the shit outta me all day? you alright?"

he opened his mouth to say yes, but then closed it up again, changing his mind. he got closer to you, bed dipping in the area near you and his hand resting on your leg.

"you ever..fuck before?" you giggled a bit, mostly confused but amused as well. "yeah? of course ive–" he cut you off, "no, i mean." he moved himself closer towards you,

"have you been fucked before, like by another guy?" your heart started to speed up, your body tensing and it felt like it was getting hotter.

"..no?" donnies hands went to your legs, moving towards your thighs and squeezing them a bit. "do you want to?" he was expecting a yes, but he frowned seeing your head shake and your legs move towards your chest.

"donnie," your eyes looked like they were pitying him, looking at him as if he was in the wrong. but he wasn't? "why? why don't you want to— we're together so we have to!" his mind worked differently, and you knew that. he always wanted to get to the 'good stuff', and as messed up as it sounded he still loved you.

"please, i promise.." he went close to you again, hands pulling your ankles and spreading your legs. "it'll feel really good," he's never fucked another guy before, and most likely has never had sex before but he just needed to persuade you somehow.

"donnie, no. my answer is no." your words cut off with your own giggle as he kissed at your face multiple times, making you tell him that it tickled a bit.

then his lips would go lower, slowing his pace down as he kissed at your neck and making them more open mouthed to leave a mark.

"hey..hey, donnie—" you squirmed, hands to his chest to push him away but you just ended up gripping his shirt and wanting more "hm." his fingers went up your shirt, grazing your nipples having your body arch into his touch and whimper into his ear.

"stop..donnie," his pointer and middle finger squeezed the bud, your legs tightened around his hips as he did so. "can't..i can't.." he sounded just as desperate as you, moving his hands back down to your shirt to take it off and toss it some other place.

he let his body get on top of you more, your body sliding down all the way underneath him. he looked at you for a moment, taking it all in. this was really happening

his pace was slow at first, it hurt to him too because he didn't really know he had to use some sort of lubrication. as he had gotten used to it, he completely forgot to think about you.

he was thinking about you, but also wasn't.

"donnie..donnie— donnie!" he could hear you calling out his name, saw your fingers grip at the sheets for dear life as if you were gonna fall off the bed even though he had you by your waist.

"slow...down, oh god it hurts.." but it felt so good, the tears that went down your cheeks were tears of pleasure and your hole would twitch and clench around him and each time he felt it he just couldn't help but go faster and harder.

the headboard hit against the wall, and you prayed that no one was home to hear this because nothing was silent especially you. "feels so good..do you feel good? tell me it feels good." your head nodded, burrying yourself into the pillow cover.

"so good..donnie, don't stop." your words were becoming slurred, turning into mindless jumbles and moans. for a guy who's probably never even fucked a girl, shit he was real good.

it had you wondering how many times he must have thought of what he wanted to do to you.

"don't stop?" your pupils moved to the side, giving donnie a look. "okay.." he flipped you over back onto your back, wiping his forehead from the sweat that dripped.

"i won't stop, i promise." oh, of course he'd take that shit literally.

[thatbitchery]

Soooooo children , you remember how I've built this entire Tumblr thing on debunking myths and giving you the truth? Let's do some of that today. While finally answering - okay if your ADHD is that bad how do you get things done.

First, again, if you don't know what minors to take in uni or as a side class or online class or whatever consider evolutionary psychology and human Intelligence. It's the manual to human beings. It's the bad bitch code.

You know how *find your WhY* doesn't work. How finding why you're doing something works for a week then just, drops?? Yeah because that's not how it works. At all. Human beings don't work on purpose we work on urgency. It doesn't matter what you want to do it matters what you need to do. Urgency >> want. Survival species, my love . Survival. Adaptation. You see it. You see it, you see what I'm saying? Exactly. We work on pressure and stress you can not actually have a 'soft life' it'll literally kill you. Why doesn't matter, it's what has the most urgency at this moment?? EVERYONE works best under pressure it's nature. I'm saying, apply pressure.

Problem with that is psychologically speaking it's exhausting because it's a Fight / Flight response and it cant be permanent. Eventually the stressor will run out and you will crash again. Also do you really want to always be under pressure? Obviously not. This is where we automate. Then pressure or no pressure you perform. But this isn't about that this is about the sister to - find your why. It's called :-

Find your what.

Remember like a week ago when I said your problem is you want beef but you're eating the chicken so you have no space left for beef and you're full but not satisfied. You're full yes. Both is meat. But are you satisfied?

The beef is the what.

Here is the thing- you want beef. That's what you want , you want to have beef. Sometimes you're in a vegans house and you can't have beef that's okay you say thanks for the greens gobble them down. Sometimes you get some lamb chops you thank heaven and have them. That doesn't take away the fact that you wanted beef. They could make you full, yes. And even maybe taste great. But. But. Did they satisfy you? Nope. It's not what you wanted. Sometimes you have beef say okay I'll go for some duck for now I've had too much beef. I like it but I'll take duck. Have your duck. Does that mean it's not beef you want? Even when you have consciously chosen to not have beef when it was RIGHT THERE? exactly.

The beef is the what. When I say find your what I'm saying find your beef. I'm saying find the thing you will keep going back to, that you want.

So. Music is your thing. You wanted to be a performer. Mom said look you have to do medicine. Alright that's duck right there. Will you ever regret studying medicine? Of course not. Which has a higher stability and safety option ? Yes medicine. So obviously as someone with a working brain you say thanks mom and go to med school. Med school is duck. It's good. You like it. You chose it. Or it's broccoli- you didn't choose it. Matter of fact you'd have rather not had it but you didn't want to be rude. Still, you will be having it. But what do you want?? You want to be a performer. So we accept with a career in medicine if you even want a foot in the vicinity you have to have a super clean image, and most people performing is low level shit and you will get bullied. This IS an either or kind of situation. It's one or the other you can't be both Tyla and House. What do we do?

We get a guitar and pull a rhianne in our rooms . We get Bandlab and those podcast mics that are so accessible and that keyboard looking thing and we pull and Aryan Shah or whatever his name is. Make your music, faceless, put it on whatever platforms and make your money and get your med school.

See how you are still having your beef alongside the duck ) broccolli?? See how you can have it all? See how you can- I'll study these chapters then when I'm done I'll make a song and upload a masked version? I'll dance in my room with a mask on? Or cap? Or- do you see it? See how that works?

When you come to me my one and only question is - WHAT DO YOU WANT. not what's right. Not what's noble. Not what's acceptable. Not what that morality police in your head is saying you should do. Not what your shame says- I don't caree. What I care is. WHAT DO YOU WANT. that's all I need to know. We are the new kids we can have it all don't worry I'll find a way around it. What. Find your what. Not WHY. WHAT.

Because one way or the other your body will rush to the what that it picks urgency from. And until you fulfil that Nothing, NOTHING else will get done. If watching that BTS live is what you want I promise you you won't be able to focus in class. Because shame and responsibilities are superficial and unnatural and your body is natural it will go where it wants you will digest Nothing, NOTHING until you watch that one MV. You will do Nothing else until whatever your body WANTS and deems urgent is done so. WHAT DO YOU WANT.

That's how you get shit done. Get the want taken care of then we can do needs. First get that beef and have like three bites THEN you can get the veggies in. Or know there's beef at home so have your two bites of duck then head home. The beef . That beef. What's your beef? What do you want?? Work from that. Plan your entire life from that point. Because it's whats urgent to your body and until it gets done or considering everything else will fail.

Automation requires power dynamics and reward / punishment model. You can not automate by yourself. You can't do it with your bestie mom BLA BLA you need fear and the reward has to be normality. Go pay someone a weird amount of money to bully you into it.

Get the WHAT first. Then everything else will follow. No nobility or shame or responsibility or morality or guilt or willpower or discipline or whatever will not hold long term and you know thissssss you know thisss you've been here before. Before you are a person- you are an animal. Whether you want to or not you will function like one no amount of anything will take this away. You are hedonistic by nature you will chase desire & also surviving by nature you will prioritize urgency no you can't David Goggins your way out of this. Have you been able to?? How old are you? In all your life have you been able to????????????

I know what your mom said. And teachers. And that one YouTuber you go to for SeLf iMprOveMenT as if you're some project said yes I know it sounds true I know but. But. Listen to me .mother , mother knows best. :)

[tarotmundomonde]

Next 6 months will someone kiss you (love reading)

Yes or no and a short explanation :)

NOTE! the question is will someone kiss you. If they don't, it doesn't mean you can't.

pick a number 1-5 OR an emoji 🖤 ❤️ 🩷 💛 💙

(ps. this reading is for practice and for fun)

1.🖤 The answer is no. To be honest, here it's more a matter of stubborness. "Why should I?" & "You do it yourself", says them with crossed arms.

2.❤️ The answer is yes. It looks like this person is your partner and that they will kiss you, because you give them the look and they just know and then kiss you.

3.🩷 The answer is yes. What I can tell you for sure is that it will come to you as a surprise. It is possible that there is some kind of temporary break here, like you don't talk to each other for a while or you don't see each other for a while and then next time they see you they just know. A lot to do with divine timing. To be honest, there is very strong chemistry between you two, but you will seem to be sleeping on it and that if they don't do anything, then you'll just keep sleeping on it. And that seems to lead them to surrender and kiss you.

4.💛 The answer is no. It's too troublesome. It's never the right time, there is always someone else around you/them. They do want to kiss you. But like said, in their opinion it's too troublesome.

5.💙 The answer is yes. It looks like experimenting. Like someone just wants to kiss you for the sake of experience, because of peer pressure. There is a sense of not knowing what to expect and wanting to know what other people know, wanting to know what everyone is talking about, wanting to know what everyone else has already experienced. Also, you know, when people tend to say you need to kiss to really know, if there is real physical chemistry? For some, it's like this person thinks they need to kiss you to know.

[nanaimothoughts]

I need to talk about the lyrics in I Can't Help but Wonder

Specifically the first two verses for this post. I'll talk about Athena and Ody's reunion separately bc I don't wanna make this post any longer than it is.

Start with Telemachus' (lyrics via AZLyrics.com)

All my life, I'd have died to meet you Thought about your name so much it hurts For twenty years I'd dreamt of how I'd greet you Oh, and now you're here I can't find the words

All my life I'd have died to know you Days and nights I wish that I could show you For twenty years I never could outgrow you Oh, and now you're here

I can't help but wonder What your world must be If we're like each other If I have your strength in me I can't help but feel like Sorrow's all I've known And I can't help but realize For so long I've felt alone

Telemachus has idolized Odysseus for his entire life. He ends the first verse of Legendary by asking if fighting all the monsters he's heard about would lead to Odysseus, and then says that he would fight them if the answer is yes. He would give anything for a chance to meet his father and have that relationship.

But he's also aware that he's never actually met Odysseus. The most he's had to work with is the idea of his father that comes from the stories he's heard. We, as the audience know that Telemachus was just as much of a motive for Ody as Penelope, but Telemachus himself doesn't know that. He longs for the connection, but he's scared of the very real possibility of Odysseus not wanting anything to do with the son he never raised.

Now, look at how Odysseus answers him (Lyrics via AZLyrics.com)

Oh my son, look how much you've grown Oh my boy, the sweetest joy I've known Twenty years ago I held you in my arms How time has flown, oh

Used to say I'd make the storm clouds cry for you Used to say I'd capture wind and sky for you Held you in my arms prepared to die for you, oh How times has flown

I can only wonder What your world has been Things you've had to suffer And the strength you hold within All I've ever wanted Was to reunite with my own 20 years we've wandered But today you're not alone

My son, I'm finally home!

He immediately makes it clear how much Telemachus matters to him. Calling him "my son", "my boy", "the sweetest joy I've known". He wants this relationship. Plus he directly states that he was ready to die for Tele. He loves his son more than anything, even if it's in spite of not raising him.

One more thing that I haven't mentioned yet. Telemachus says that he's wondered if he's as strong as Odysseus. Not only is this likely a result of Tele's aforementioned idolization of Odysseus, but imo it also says something about how Odysseus is viewed by Ithaca's citizens as a whole. He's a legend.

And what does he say to Telemachus about strength? That he's wondered what strength Telemachus holds. He didn't ponder if Tele has his strength or not, but about the strength that Telemachus has himself. And I really like that detail.

[foenixed]

Popular opinion on Nosferatu is killing me because Ellen is textually-- not subtextually, not an allegory for-- textually a CSA victim. She unknowingly originally called for Orlok as a lonely child-- yes, a child, she was explicitly called as such-- looking for any sort of companionship, and Orlok answered and slept with her. "At first it was sweet... yet it turned to torture." "Papa found me once laying, unclothed... I was... my body... my flesh..." After this experience, she was called sinful by her father for being preyed upon, as many CSA victims are. She considers herself unclean, as many CSA victims do. To call this an allegory for Victorian sexual repression and Orlok a manifestation of her desire ignores that she was a child when preyed on by a much older man, and that she freely shows her desire towards Thomas.

In fact, she has sex with Thomas to prove her devotion to him and spite Orlok, to prove her desires don't truly lie with him. If this was merely a tale of repression, would she do that? The contrast is not between a repression of desire and desire, it is between the desire she happily feels for her husband and the desire she reluctantly feels towards Orlok, who hurts and coerces consent from her.

And yes, there is some part of her attracted to him, but that does not negate the fact that she is a victim and she consistently shows revulsion towards Orlok as an abuser. As when Orlok says "Tonight you denied yourself, and thereby you suffer me to vanish up the lives of those you love." and she replies "Denied myself?! You revel in my torture!" The only condition that made her submit to him was the mass death and suffering inflicted on the town because of her refusal. Consent cannot exist under these circumstances, it is coerced by violence. She is forced to relive her trauma and submit to her rape, and dies because of it.

My opinion as to why this has been so widely ignored by popular interpretations of this as a dark gothic forbidden romance is because, firstly, the general pre-existing cultural attitudes towards victims. "She must have wanted it, she must have been asking for it" etc. This mindset is also present in the film, with Orlok being justified as a manifestation of her desire.

Which brings me on to my second point, that the creators do not seem fully aware of Ellen's status as a victim. Lily Rose Depp says "It's a love story with Count Orlok as much as it is her husband," framing the relationship as much more mutual then it is. She emphasizes the mutual yearning, but doesn't seem aware that you can both be attracted to someone and victimized by them at the same time, as she goes on to say "There is a yearning going from, y'know, really between the two of them, rather than just this woman who's kind of, like, chased down by this scary demon that she hates." It's honestly very bizarre to hear the lead actress say this given Ellen is quite literally chased down from Romania to Germany and forced to sleep with him under the threat of death for the entire town, after he's already killed her best friend as punishment for refusing him. To brush all that under the rug and focus on the desire launders the relationship as much more equal than it is.

And thirdly I think there is compulsory sexuality pervading the discourse, as a refusal of sex with someone who she's attracted to is seen as inherently repression rather than being allowed to exist as a justified choice. The context of Orlok's abuse is stripped away, the context that she doesn't want to be with someone who hurt her and those she loves, even if she's attracted to him, is discarded. A part of her enjoyed it, right? And that's all that matters.

[butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway]

I know that people are rarely their best selves at a funeral, but do you ever just watch your family move through the process of mourning the Patriarch and have a sudden and violent and vivid understanding of Why Everyone Is The Way They Are

[demaparbat-hp]

Kyoshi Warrior Zuko hugging Painted Lady Katara from the back and kissing her on the head.

Zuko kissing Katara hands in your halfblood au because you said Kanna taught Katara to hide her bending so Zuko is saying embrace who you are.

Keep the AU kisses coming!

[angeart]

Howwwww did you angst the world tour?? 🎀

this question made me giggle so much oh i'm glad you asked :3c there was so much yummy grian angst in the hc world tour!

it's all about grian and his penchant for destruction. he doesn't even mean to! he's not trying to be pesky; quite the opposite. he's curious but restrained, trying to be good, trying to follow instructions. he's not malicious at all! he's just there to see what people were up to, open and friendly and curious, eager to look and learn and praise. not a bad intention in sight... and yet things seem to break wherever he goes. everything he touches goes wrong.

the guilt churns, acidic and overwhelming, and grian's miserable. why is he like this? he's trying so hard, why is this the only way he can ever be? why can't it stop?

spoilers for grian's world tour video below <3

plantie pointed out to me how, during the tour of scar's train, when grian got rid of scar's arrows—the glitched ones that doc put there—he was so desperate to point it out after scar just glossed over it. as if he wanted to show that he can do something good. he can be helpful, he can fix things instead of just breaking everything.

but then we have all the other things, right? grian can't escape it.

when he was with etho and the mushroom farm exploded, he sums it up in a wretched if confused apology: "i'm so sorry. the two times i tried to use it, i broke it :( and created a water source floating— which i don't know how it happened— and flung the TNT, which i really don't understand—"

they move on, but it's so clear it lingers.

etho isn't blaming him. he's amused and brushes it off and moves along, unbothered, but grian himself can't wrap his head around it. about that propensity to breaking things, even unintentionally. the way nothing is safe around him.

he tells etho: "i can't stop thinking about your mushroom farm. why does everything i touch break, in new and unexpected ways?"

(not to mention when etho's showing him frogger and grian plays, almost instantly etho goes: "uh-oh, the game's broken", with a little huff of laugh. it wasn't exactly tied to anything grian did, but still something i wanted to point out, since grian was there for it <3)

and then grian goes to zedaph, right?

the very first game zedaph shows him. the very first. grian plays the way he was told to, the way he was meant to, and— he breaks it.

zedaph just laughs and moves them on.

(just sprinkling in a side note that zedaph's furnace minigame also didn't seem to work the way it should've—)

by the time grian gets to pearl's, it's starting to be a pattern that's so clearly eating away at him, making him anxious. he doesn't want it to happen again!

and yet.

pearl invites him to play her wordle game, and grian mindlessly goes and pushes the wrong button trying to start it... instantly stepping away with a quiet groan of a dread-filled "...oh-" followed by: "i just— ruined it already."

there's something about the mood switch. the way he seems more restrained and tame, silently upset with himself, trying so hard not to mess things up further. questioning why this is happening again. why he can't stop making it happen.

he walks over to the reset game button and asks, carefully: "can i press reset? is it gonna hurt? 🥺👉👈"

pearl reassures him he can, with a sigh noting that it'll just take a while.

there's an almost hysteric laugh from grian, followed by an exasperated, upset scream. "everything i touch breaks! when i went to e— i broke etho's thing when i went to— not frogger, his— his mushroom farm i— it blew up."

"you blew up his mushroom farm?? how? what did you do?!"

"yeah, i— i broke zed's game, instantly, pretty much, it's—"

"oh my gosh :("

"sorry 🥺"

pearl is quick to reassure him, though. "well, luckily for you, this is— you doing that (pushing the wrong button) does not break the game. it's just, you now have to wait for it to reset."

she makes sure grian knows that he didn't mess up anything terribly here. he didn't break pearl's game. it's okay! it's fine!

and then grian right clicks to open the book, and instead makes bonemeal pop out of a composter.

i think at this point pearl is a little bit taken aback by how wrong everything really seems to be going around grian. she makes sure to say, "it's fine," again, just so grian won't start worrying about it all again. "you're clicking on everything that people do not usually click on today. but it's okay. it's still not broken! it's not broken, it's alright, it's okay— i've got failsaves for people like you."

it's so sweet how she really tries to soothe him— and yet she can't help but let out that last remark.

people like you.

those few words surely lodge in more than all the reassurances. they're like splinter, proving grian right.

eventually, he gets to skizz.

during the tour of skizz's base, skizz shows him a horse statue and starts talking about how he lost his first horse at an event that grian was also a part of. and grian's stomach instantly sinks.

he asks hushedly, a bit confused, trying to remember: "was i there?"

skizz laughs. "you were absolutely there, dude."

which leads grian to ask, uneasily: "did i do it?"

skizz waves his hands, quick to easily reassure that no! that's not it, grian didn't do it!

grian lets out an oh with such palpable relief, and goes on to explain about how, "i remember witnessing it, but sometimes it's hard to disentangle whether i did it or not. coz i tell you what, on this tour i've broken everyone's stuff."

nobody was upset with grian when things broke, but here he is, several hermits down, still unable to leave it to rest. because it's him. it's him who did all of that, somehow, and he didn't mean to, but it doesn't matter. it happened anyway.

and now he can't even tell what is and what isn't his fault anymore.

the guilt is deep rooted, leaving anxious assumptions and dark, jagged precipices. how much did he destroy? what else should he be feeling guilty about? how far does this go?

he keeps breaking things, and it's such a blur that he can no longer tell what is and what isn't his fault.

the tour continues, and he delves into skizz's pyramid. and it's just— it's just a tunnel to swim through. nothing to mess up, besides potentially dying to suffocation, right?

and yet you can hear skizz shrilly exclaim: "oh he's going to end up breaking something!!"

and, (plantie's words: ) grian hearing that and just wondering, is that all i'm good for? is that all i'm known for? is that all i am?

there's no room for doubt; not really. that is what grian does, all the time, whether he wants to or not. he breaks stuff. he just— he doesn't mean to. and this tour is one big show of how powerless he is against it. (how everyone expects it from him anyway.)

despite it all, grian perseveres, trying out skizz's game, stubbornly dedicated and trying to win. (to pass; to have something to be proud of, at least—) and he gets to the powdered snow section.

there, he jumps across to a pathway that he was meant to circle to through the snow instead.

it's not breaking anything, not really. not even the rules. it's not cheating! he's just— he just did something skizz did not expect, but that was entirely possible within the game's design, even if not intended. he exploited it to his advantage; a risky, tricky shortcut.

and yet skizz remarks with a laugh: "this is what grian does! he breaks games!"

no matter what grian does... is that all he'll ever be?

is that all they'll see?

he fails getting through skizz's game, is thanked for play-testing, praises it all, they talk it all away, and...

and then grian goes to tour mumbo's base.

and fails to even die properly to his llama—

and then mumbo shows him his archive machine, and instantly panicks when grian gets curious about it, begging him not to touch anything. and grian says: "your stomach just fell through didn't it?" and after mumbo's immediate agreement, he adds: "and rightfully so. coz, almost everything i've touched on this tour has broken."

there's not a sliver of surprise to mumbo's anxious rushed: "yeah, yeah yeah! please stop now." because, of course things have broken. of course what grian touches is bound to go wrong. of course—

and then mumbo very carefully tells grian what to do with the machine.

grian does as he's told.

mumbo looks up and pauses, a frown crossing his face as he takes it in. he notes that grian probably did it too fast—

(something went wrong)

(something broke)

mumbo says: "i can't believe you come along and every single thing in my base starts [going wrong/breaking/malfunctioning]"

and then grian mysteriously ends up with an extra book from mumbo's machine, much to mumbo's dismay. grian's confused, cogs spinning as he tries to figure out what did he mess up this time to result in this.

it's clear mumbo wants grian away from his machine. it's not safe. (grian isn't safe.)

"maybe just give that to me and maybe just step away from the contraption. and then— maybe just leave me to—"

grian's upset and bewildered voice cuts in: "i didn't do anything wrong this time :(("

he's trying so hard.

he's trying so hard to be good and do things right and not mess anything up.

(it isn't working.)

(it's never bound to work, is it?)

mumbo ushers him away, and ends up showing him another cool invention—an elevator. except the second mumbo hits the button, a creeper shows up and explodes it. (it's midday.) (it wasn't even meant to be there.)

this one isn't grian's fault at all, but with everything that's happened— well, it's easy enough to link it to grian's presence. like a bad luck omen.

apprehensively, grian asks if the elevator broke, and mumbo—a bit bewildered by the reality of it—says that no, it seems to still work. "amazingly," he tacks on, disbelieving.

grian's relieved. "ohh, i thought we were in big trouble there!"

besides himself, mumbo anxiously agrees: "augh. i was like, if every single creation that i show breaks in some fashion, i'm just gonna quit."

because this isn't normal. none of this is, least of all everything at once. it simply doesn't happen.

(not when grian isn't there, anyway.)

mumbo notes that he needs to work on his lighting, and grian nods wisely saying it's a perpetual issue, but the anxiety is digging its talons in now, unrelenting. (what else is going to go bad in grian's presence? what else will he mess up? what else will he break? why is he like this?)

another remark that comes after this is mumbo's nervous: "i've actually just built up the automatic sorter which does this—which you're not gonna touch. we're banned from touching any redstone contraptions!"

and what can grian do but oblige? (but he can at least look, right?)

but does it ever change anything?

does it matter?

-

at the end of the day, the others don't think too much about it.

they all say their part, pass their judgment, wave their hands, dismiss, move on. it doesn't keep them up at night.

... i think it might keep grian up at night.

a cacophonous collection of word snippets, aimed at him or woven around him, digging under his skin until it bleeds. a noose of inescapable fate, a tightening band around his chest that promises he can only ever be one thing:

a vessel for destruction.

it doesn't matter if he wants to be.

shackles and chains and a cosmic inevitability written into his skin, etched into his bones, tangled into his bloodstream. and an ever-rising guilt like stormy sea, far above his head now, drowning him.

(maybe he's not meant to be near other people and their things.)

(maybe he's not meant to touch games that were constructed with so much effort and love and passion poured into them.)

(maybe he shouldn't—)

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bonus screenshots from discord DMs (with extra sprinkles of hmtb mentions):

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bonus hmtb quotes because i kept thinking about it:

He always destroys the things he loves most, after all.

and:

He destroyed everything he touched, and when there was nothing left, he destroyed the only remaining thing: himself.

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[lloydfrontera]

javier realizing how much he cares for lloyd, how deep his loyalty to him runs, how ready he's to lie down his life for him, not because he's the son of his lord, not even really knowing exactly why he feels like that but just being absolutely certain that lloyd is his friend and he can't allow anything to harm him

And yet, why am I trying so hard to protect him? He had no way of knowing. But one thing was clear. It was a very simple matter. I want to protect him. Lloyd is my true master in my heart. Lloyd was his friend. And now, Javier wanted to protect Lloyd. He would sincerely protect him with everything he had.

he doesn't even know why!! he just knows that lloyd is his friend and his true master in his heart and that's!! more than enough for him to decide he's willing to put his life and everything he has in the line to protect him!! i'm just!!

[musical-chick-13]

I hate when something looks like it would be RIGHT up your alley and the cast is pretty stacked, but there's one person in said cast who is just. Genuinely a horrible human being.

[skyward-floored]

📚

Twilight princess, Link is a disaster after Midna leaves, but he can't feel anything. It's been months, but he hasn't cried, he's barely emoted at all, he just... feels numb. He keeps busy helping the Resistance, but he's still just numb about everything, and going through the motions. But when they find some weird ruins, he perks up a little, because they seem like they could be influenced by Twili, and despite hesitancy from Shad, Link goes right in.

And next thing he knows he's waking up as a wolf and staring at a kid in raggedy clothes who looks just as confused as he feels.

He's been time-traveled to botw.

The story goes along, Link gets to trusting this kid, and the kid him. Link figures out what's going on, he realizes this kid is a hero like him, he helps him hunt for food and fight monsters, he nuzzles him when he gets a memory and comes out shaking, curls around him when he cries because he can't remember, feels less and less numb as this adventure goes on. He realizes at some point he could turn into a hylian if he wanted, but at this point it's... easier, to stay as a wolf. For both of them. This kid is like his brother now, and he doesn't want to break his trust.

Until one day when the Other Link does something stupid, fights something he shouldn't have, gets hit by a guardian, I don't exactly know. But the point is he's hurt, and badly, and by the time Link deals with the danger and gets to him he's actively dying. Link freaks out (he's come close before like this yes, but he's out of healing items, they were about to stock up--), he's about to lose somebody close to him, he's about to leave him, and he can't do anything about it again, and he turns from a wolf to a hylian because he can't do anything else.

Other Link is understandably shocked by this, but then he smiles and his last words are literally something like "somehow I knew you weren't just a wolf".

Other Link stops breathing, and Link just stares at him,not willing to process this, not willing to even entertain what this means. But then he starts glowing, and Link stares at him because he doesn't realize what Mipha's Grace does. Other Link hasn't had to use it yet.

It activates, and Link is staring in shock, and then Other Link opens his eyes and sits up, and probably says something stupid like "why are you looking at me like that"

And the dam finally bursts, and Link is crying, all of the stupid emotions he'd been plugging up and unable to acknowledge all come out right then and Other Link sort of just pats him on the back with not much clue what's going on, but the hugging is nice since dying is kind of traumatic actually.

... and that's all I had XD

[discjude]

I think I should focus more on the link between Rafal and Japeth in TCY because I was typing out a joke post that went something along the lines of "TCY is so funny because the whole division between the two Pens comes down to "omnipotent omniscient harbinger of fate" vs "some snake guy" under the assumption that the scim that was Lionsmane was just one of Japeth's, but I realised I didn't have a source for that so checked flesh and blood again and what do you know Lionsmane is apparently "made out of my father (Rafal's) spirit.". I was aware of the reference to 'Rafal's spirit' mostly because it's a concept never mentioned by name again in the series but somehow never noticed that Lionsmane WAS just. Rafal. which has horrible consequences for the Japeth Lore

Basically. It seems very important to me that the "Storian VS Lionsmane" duo can be boiled down to "Fate VS Japeth", given that a lot of Japeth's motivation comes from his desire to be able to control fate, stating in Flesh And Blood "soon I'll be fate's master, with the power to take love back (where he's talking about Aric)." . Saying that he IS Lionsmane ties into that nicely, given that he'll write his own fate with the pen that Is Him. This also fits into the "Past is Present" prophecy, given the last line of "Until you change it", being exactly what Japeth aims to do.

However, Japeth does not 'change it', because he's not the one writing his fate, because He's Not Lionsmane. RAFAL is. The fate that Japeth thinks he's creating for himself isn't the one he wants, but is Rafal's fate instead... which is exactly what ends up happening to him, given the second fratricide incident. This also works with Past is Present, because Past IS Present, given it's the same fate. Which also works as a lovely little reminder that Japeth has absolutely no control over his fate in the slightest, reflected by a few other pieces of book 6 information: Rafal's message to him (that happens before book 4) instructs him to remain loyal to his brother, and to always put his brother first. He doesn't win a single one of Arthur's Trials. It is literally stated by Rafal in a flashback that it was LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE for japeth to end up being One True King. what I am Trying To Say is that there was absolutely no way in hell Japeth could ever have "changed it", ever. Anyway because of all of this I firmly believe that Soman should've put at least a couple of vague references to the TCY twins in the prequels given that Japeth and Rafal might have the most interesting link between them in my opinion

[countdown-to-love]

i've been semi-inactive on tumblr and i come back to the best url ever ,, please forgive me but what was your previous one again? /gen 😭

hey anon!! i used to be @/hwang-intak (and then @/hwang-intak-archive while i was inactive^^)

[tera-starstorm]

wonder if FV volo regrets that he has long since severed any chance to have a positive connection with yasuta but knows he deserves to have it be that way

[girltomboy]

My bf was acting sus abt Tr^mp's election and he kept telling me about some bullshit conservative content ("youtube shorts") that just "appeared on his feed" and I asked him why he keeps watching shit like that and what he understands from them. Like in what way do they speak to him, what itch in his brain and soul do they scratch? And of course he couldn't give me any straightforward and clear answer other than "it's funny, it's entertaining". So he was like trying to tell me that Tr^mp is funny and El0n M^sk is "a cool guy"??? And I was like in what way do you benefit from the actions and success of these men, like what can you tell me about them that isn't regurgitated conservative propaganda? And he asked ME to tell him why he shouldn't "like" them. While I was in the grocery store. So I was like well YOU look it up and form your own opinion. Look up information about their lives, their past, etc. and think thoughts on your own based on your principles and priorities. Why is it that you can only form thoughts through second hand propaganda, someone whispering in your ear at all times. This is the same guy who had to ask his dad who to vote for in the EU elections. And will probably do the same for the presidentials 🤡 so ok this conversation remained in the air for now because he stopped replying (he was on the train) and I continued my shopping. But wow how sobering it is to realize the person I've been dating for 5 years might be a closeted right wing freako and I didn't even know because every time we had a remotely politics related discussion nothing concerning sprung to my attention. Like everything he said sounded rational. Idk why I accept some of the things that I do about him. Like his lack of interest in books or politics, things that matter to me. I just didn't care that much bc I don't really discuss the topic of "books" with other people. Even other readers. Nobody I've met so far seemed interested in talking about books even if they claimed to love books & reading. My theory is that a lot of people are posers. Anyway. I've been really overlooking a lot of important things. And I might stop cause he's ruining my vibe and my aura. Like I can't go on dating someone with whom I'm so incompatible.

[earanie]

so.